^3S Z^MV^ PROMPTNESS want will be sent by In filling all orders is always a feature of our business. Catalogues sent free. Anj* Play, Dialogue Book.Sr^aker, (Juide Book, Wigs and Beards -in fact anything you AMES' PUBLISHING CO., Clyde, Okio. Si. ax M m no u « . to Em Tj CO I ci T) g CO f^ AMES' SERIES OF ''^ STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, No. 276. The Printer IHis Devils. (FARCE.) WITH CAST OP CHARACTBRS, gNTRANCKS, AND EXITS, HKI.ATIVR roSITroMB OF THE PKKKORMEKS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OK COSTUMES AND THE WHOLE OK THE STAGE hUSINKSS, OAREKULLY MARKED KROM THE MOST APPROVED ACTING COPY. feL PRICE 15 CENTS, CLYDE, OHIO; AMES' PUBLISHING CO, ^ c/> n On I «" ^ No ffoods sent C. 0. D. Payment MUST accompany all orders. ALPHAHETIGAL LIST DF Edition Df Pi ^ niBS ays Ts^a^ FIFTEEN CENTS EACH UNLESS OTHERWISE MARKED. NO. 2 m 4." UK) 125 89 113 220 14 1(50 161 60 152 173 143 176 162 a^s 117 207 52 76 141 26 191 194 261 46 227 211 ^>i 16.1 91 36 34 229 223 81 85 S3 1^96 29 18 10 45 79 144 67 97 119 212 92 112 71 105 Q1- M. P. DRAMAS. A Desperate (lame 3 2 After Ten Years 7 5 A Life's Revenge 7 5 Arrah de Baugh 7 5 Aurora Floyd 7 2 Auld Robin Gray 25c 13 8 Beauty of Lyons 11 2 Bill Detrick 7 3 Brae, tlie Poor House Girl.... 4 4 Brigands of Calabria 6 1 Conn; or, Love's Victory 11 3 Dora 5 2 Driven to the Wall 10 3 Driven from Home 7 4 East Lynno 8 7 Emigrant's Daughter 8 'S Factory Girl 6 3 Fielding Manor 9 Gertie's Vindication.,.. 3 8 Hal Hatai-d, 25c 10 3 Heroic Dutchman of '76 H 3 Henry Granden 11 « How lie Did It 3 2 Hidden Treasures 4 2 Hunter of tho Alps 9 4 Hidden Hand 15 7 Lights and Shadows ot the Great Kebelhon, 25c 10 « Lady of Lyons..., 12 5 Lady Audley's Secret. 6 4 Lost in London 6 4 Man and Wife 12 7 Maud's Peril 5 3 Midnifrht Mti'tako 6 2 Millie, the Quadroon, 4 I Miriam's Crime.,,... 5 2 Michael Eric..... H 3 Miller of Dorvfont Water 5 2 Mistletoe Bough , 7 S Mountebanks (The) 6 2 Oldllonest^'' 5 2 Old Phi:'.s Birthday.,, 5 3 Outcast's Wife 12 3 Out on the Wai Id.. 5 4 Oath Bound 6 2 Painter of Ghent .„ 5 3 Poacher's Doom 8 3 Reverses , 12 6 Rock Allen 5 3 Spv of Atlanta, 2">c 14 3 Thekla 9 4 The Fnls« Friend, 6 1 The Fiitnl 1)V)W „ 7 1 the Fo.tv-Niner^ ID 4 The Dutch R-cruit 2-c .„U 3 •rh« (Tentl-man in Black 9 4 Th.! New Mng7 ('aught in the Act T 3 248 Onpturel 6 4 ITS Caste 5 3 im Home 4 3 174 Love's Labor Not L ist 3 3 14^ New Years in N. Y 7 6 37 Not So Bad After All 6 5 237 Not Such a F -ol as He Looks 6 3 126 0>ir Daughters 8 6 114 Pas.dons 8 4 219 Rag? :uid Bottles 4 1 239 Scale with Sharps and Flats.. 3 2 221 Solon Shingle 14 2 87 The Biter Bit.. ...3 2 249 $2,000. Reward 2 TRAGEDIES. 16 The Serf 6 3 FARCES AND COMEDIETTAS, 129 Anr-u-ag-nos , - 2 1 132 Actor and Servmt 1 1 12 A C.-Mv.tal Match,., 3 2 im ATexan .Mother-in-Law- 4 6 30 A Dav Well SpenU 7 5 169 A Reguixr Fix 2 4 W Al:uT«ingly Suspicioiis ., 4 3 T8 An Awfi.l Criiaiual 3 3 .rfi TMP96-0U75C0 The Printer and His Devils. SCENE I— The office of ^^Bock Town Shoe-string'^— table ^ R. C.^^ chair, l. 1 e. — door c. — pile of papers around table. A.DOLPHUS Cicero discovered at table icriting— makes grimaces^ etc» Enter, Newsboy, l. Newsboy. Here's your "Koek Town Pulverizer !" (exit, c, Adolphus. My rival's got out his paper this mornino'. Wonder \v{).Mt he's .cot "to say! (starts to read) Hello! What's this! "Adolphus Cicero, the cracked brained editor of "Shoe-string" fired another broad-side of the milk and water doctrine into the Demo- cratic ranks last week. The milk was sour as the doctrine itself and th'^ water did but further harm than to wash a few specks of dirt ofi a i aling mug wump's back. The editor of the "Shoe-string" is a fanatic or lunatic and ought to be caged." (jumps up and crushes paper in his hand) Oh, the mean, low-lived, contemptible polly- wogger! I^ I had my hand on the nape of his neck I'd shake him tilHils toe nails dropped off! So my contemporary, Mr. Samuel Slick, editor of tiie "Eock Town Pulverizer" is a snide, a thief, a scandalmonger, a woman-hater, a — a — a — raving maniac! Talk's about me as if I were a dog! Calls ??ie a fanatic or lunatic ! Me! Why, I'm editor of the "Kock Town Shoe-string," the only and best Republican paper in Rock county ! 3Ie! AVhy, I'm candidate for Congress of tills "14th district of— !* Yet he calls me a fanatic or lunatic — but I'll be elected in spite of the slandering tongue of Samuel Slick and the combined efforts of and !t I'm the best I'iian in seven states and don't you give it away! When I come back from Congress, I'm going to run for president — Andy Hanks sticks his head through door and says, "Of a sand bank!'' — Adolphus goes to table and sits down. — When I get to be Congressman won't Sam Slick feel mean! I'll smoke ten cent cigars, drink fifty cent whisky and introduce free trade bills every day. Who knows — I might fall in love with some prett}!^ girl and get married like Grover Cleveland did. The future is bright indeed and no man knows that the future has in store for me. "(AndycoicZ John playing on fifes outside) For Heaven's sake what's that! *You oan name state in which you live. fYou can use the names of two gentlemen from your town. ^ THE rraNTEii and his devils. Enter, c, Andy and Joui^, playing on fifes— march past tabU ton.-— then turn and ao in front to l.— Andy sits on chairs and shoves John to the ,/?oo>— Adolphus gets up— appearing to be very mad and makes wild motions, Andy. S;iy, boy, what are you Inyhi' down th, re for? 'Taint bed-lime vet! John. Go 'way from here, yon fool! Come out in tlic street iiri ru knock yonr bnckboiie up in yonr mouth so you can't chaw I AdoL {catches them by the shovlder—pnshes them to the it. and l.) Look here, you young rao-a-mumn:^ ! What in the thunder are you malcino- so n'uieh noise about? Andy ILinks, as long as you have been devil in this oftlce, you haven't learned to behave yourself ytit! Come out here ! Wiiat have you got to say for yourself? AndAi. Why, when I was goin' down, to tlie post ofiice to get tho mail, i saw »John Henry there, siitin' on tlie curb intone play in' on two fift'S. I asked him to lend me one and he did, .-nid he went down to the post office with me. On the w;iy he asked me what I was doin' ; I told him I Avas.devil at the ''Shoe-string" printin' office. He said he would like to be a devil, and so I brought him here to see if you wouldirt give Ijim a place. Say, boss, I b'lievc he would make a good devil, 'cause he's mean enough ! Adol. So, my young friend, you'd like to be a devil ? John. Y-e-s, I'd like to be a devil ! Adol. All right! I'll gi^'e you a place here, and I'll pay you off every Saturday night, {to Andy) ^^■here's the mail? Andy. Here it is ! {gives letter) John Henry, a tune ! Adolphus reads Utter — John and Andy on the opposite sides of the stage — 5 oii^ plays a tune — Adolphus catches Andy by the Qar — then marches over to John, catches him by the ear — marches them to c. of stage. John ) & V Oh!' O— 0— 0— V,-: Andy. ) Adol. Look here, you two apes! I'll have yoii to understand that I won't have this confou.nded racket here ! {pulls ears Andy 1 & )>Oh~o— ow! John.) Andy. Adolphus Cicero, did you see the gardener? (Adolphus pulls ear^ Andy '] & \ Oh — o — — ow ! John. ) Adol. 'No, I did not! Andy. Well, he wnnted to see you. (pulls eari Andy '] & ^Oh— o— ow! John. ) Adol. W^liat did he want \\\{\i uie? Andy. About that letluce. (jniUs ears Andy ] & } Oh — o — o— ow ! John, ) AdoL What lettuce? Andy John. {together) Ljtusgo! THE rniNTER AND HIS DEVILS. 6 Adol. (shoves them apart) Well then, go I (he goes to table— puts on hat— takes umbrella) Well, boys, I miist go down street! Andy- Hanks, you take John Henry down into the composing room, show him how to set type, clear up pi, wash rollers, sweep out, and all the rest of the duty that falls to the lot of the devils. I'll be back in one-half hour and see what progress you have made. No loating, now, hut work! ' (exit, c. John. Say, Andy Hanks, let's go and clean up the pi ! Say, have you got any pungkin pie? Golly, I'm as hungry as a dead owl I Anchj. Say, John Henry, you won't want to clean up pi many times ! It ain't like eatin' pumx)kin pie ! If it was, Adolphus Cicero wouldn't have to pay rae any wnges ! All he'd have to do was to keep me cleanin' up pie— but say, John Henry, I got to go and cor- rect a galley of type. You stay here till I come back. (exit, c. John. Say, now! Ain't I a purty devil I I ain't got no tailor no horns! I always thought devils had tails and horns. I wonder what makes people call boys that works in printen offices devils. It's an awful bad name, but I bet I know! It's 'cause printen offices are such bad places thnt they have got to have bad names to match ; but I know I'll make a devil, 'cause pa says the devil was born in me! Enter, Andy, c, icith galley oj type — seats himself at table and reads proof-sheet. Andy. Go and tell Miss Alice to send me a lower case ''a" in non- pareil, a cap "m" in long primer, lower case "e" in bourgeois — hurry up now! John drcps into chair and faints — Andy looks up from paper and sees John. — John Henry! John Henry! Well, blast my buttons! If that new devil hain't gone to sleep already ! But I'll wake him up ! I'll ram this paper into his mouth iind then give him a touch Avith the sharp point of this pin. Sticks paper into his mouth — John jumps up, having hold of Andy's finger — Andy yells. — Leave go there, or I'll hit you over the eye ! John. \Say, Andy Hanks, what you take me for! I ain't got a memory as big as Boston ! If you make me faint again, I'm a dead boy, 'cause I ain't used to faintin', and my jm and my ma says it ain't good for my constitution! A7idy. Well, never mind, John Henry! Ah, here's a bad mis- take! John Henry, tell Miss Alice to send me two "m braces." Hurry up, now! John. Say, do you think she will give them tome? Don't you think I'd better get a knock down fust? Andy. No ; go do as I tell you. John. All right — two embraces! Yum, yuu), yum ! (exit, l. Andy. Ha, ha, ha! Now lookout for fun! I wonder if he's got sense enough to ask her for the type. Like as not he'll go and hug her likfe a polar bear. Tells an<^ screams heard outside — John runs in and gets b:'hind tabic. Enter, Alice Footslug, c, tcith mallet in hand. 6 TEE FFdNTEB AND HIS DEVILS. Alice. Come out of there, you scamp ! How dare you hug me in this outrageous manner ? Andy Hanks, what's the meaning of this ? Andij. Cahn yourself, Miss Alice! I just sent John Henry after two "ni braces", and he tried to hug you, did he? Alice. Yes, lie did ; and if he comes near me again, I'll break his head with this mallet ! Andy. Stand up, John Henry ! Where are those two "m braces" I sent you for? John. You see, I didn't have time— she got after me with that mallet, and 1 had to cut and run. Andy. John Henry, I don't believe that! Miss Alice, didn't he get his two "ra braces?" Alice. Yes; he did ! John. No; 1 didn't! Alice. Did ! John. Didn't ! Alice \ Did! did! did! & John. I Didn't! didn't! didn't! - Andy. Shut up! John Henry, didn't you get your two "m braces?" John. ]S"o; I didn't! Andy. Why didn't you? John. I didn't have time. Andy. Wh}^ didn't you have time? John, You see, when I got done embracing her onct, she got after me with that mallet and 1 had to dust. Andy. So you tried to hug her. {fioih laugh Alice. Shut up, you mud faces ! Andy & Mud faces ! John. Alice. Yes, mud faces! ISTow, I am ,^^; .,^ br.ck to my work and if either of you bother me again, I'll tell tlie editor and have you both discharged. {exit,\. John. I'll be dogoned if I go after an}'- more embraces ! Andy. All right, John Henry ! Say, did you ever see any prin- ter's lice? John. jS'o; do printers have lice? Say, Andy, have you got any lice? Andy. 'Nol Printers don't have any lice, but the type does. (pours dirty black water into galley) Come, look right close and you can see them. (John comes up and looks at galley) Do you see them ? John. No, I don't see them ! Andy. Look closer! John sticks head about an inch from galley — Andy scjuirts dirty watei* into John's face. Andy. John Henry, did you see them? John, {loipes face) Yes, I did! Dog on you, if you wasn't bigw ger than me, I'd chew your ear ! Got any drinkin' water 'round here? I'm thirstier than a muzzled bull clog! Andy. Yes; wait — I'll go and get you some! {exit, c. John. I bet that old fool won't^play any more iDractical tricks oa me! THJE rmxTEn akd itis devils. 7 Enter, Andy, with two tin cnps vntli vater — one icith black on bottom that will rub off easily. Andy. Now, Jolin Henry, you must learn to drink like a devil. (gives blackened mp to John) "^Just watch nie and do as I do! First yon o;et down < -onr knees— {go through motions) — shut your eyes, put your flno•o^^^ .ii the watsr, rub tliein on the bottom of the cup and then rub your hand over your lace. Now you can drink. (Andy laughs— J oii::^ drinks John. Sny, And}'-, do you believe in i:;iiosts? Andy. No, there ain't no such thino-s! John. Yes there is — and they can talk, too ! Andy. Oh, humbug! John. No; they ain't no humbu?, or any other kind of I)ugs, either! (in a very tragical manner) You know as I was passing by the graveyard last night, I happened to turn my head, and I saw a ghost approacliing me. I wasn't scared— no! So I waited till it came up. Soon it »vas at my side, placed its long bony hand upon nay shoulder, and whispered, *'I am your father's ghost!" I w\asn't scared— no — o— o! We talked awhile, but soon were disturbed by something passing along near by. My father clutched my shoulder- blade, his eyes were flashing fire, (Andy appears frightened) and looking up into my face, he said, "My dear and only son, what's that, that moves as softly as a pussy cat? I mean the thing upon two legs, with feathers in its head. It has the gift of speech, I hear, but surely can't be human; and as my pa's ghost disappeared over the graveyard fence, I yelled, "Pa, that's what they call a woman!" And the last time I saw my pa's ghost he wasn't in sight. Ajidy. Golly! wasn't you skeered? But say, John Henry, I've got to go in the other room and do some work, and as you have not got a good memory, I'll hang up signs showing you what to do. Jiangs up two signs — one is, "sit down'^ ivhich he hongf! on chair — the other '■'■bring some wood'\ lohich he hangs on th.i toall — John sees one on chair. —Do everything the signs tell you and you will soon learn to be a clevil. * (exit c. John, (reads) "Sit down !" t don't care if I do. (goes to chair and sits down — jumps up and screams) Dog on his old pins! (sees other sign — reads) "Bring some wood." I don't care if I do — any- thing to get out of here ! (exit l. Enter, Adolphus, e., intoxicated — has sign pinned on collar, "hold my head,'^ and one on seat, "paddle me here" — he turns back to audience for a minute. Adol. I've — ■'^ic — had a glorious time — hie — had some ten cent — hie — cigars and some lifty cent whisky — hio— just like I'm going to have when I go— hie— to Congress ! I met— hie— two old college friends and they "set 'em up!" Loafed long enough— must get to work. (goes to table — leans over it — begins to icrite Enter, Andy and John, l. — John carrying barrel stave — they seQ signs and motion to each other as to which shall go first. Andy, I'll hold his head and you paddle him here. (John paddles Adolphus, who yells and screams CURTAIN* PUG AND THE BABY. A farce-comedy in one act, 5 male and 3 female char- acters. This is a capital farce, consisting of light comedy, easy acting, racy dialogue, funny situations, comical busi- iiess— characters all good. Order a copy and see how much trouble a Pug and a Baby can make in a house. Price 15 cents. TRIALS ^ OF A COUNTRY EDITOR. OKIGINAL SKETCH. A country editor's office, whose trouble with a poet, woman suffragist, peddler, etc., make the sketch very aaiusing. Time of performance about 30 minutes. 6 male and 7 female characters. Prof. daniGs' Experience Teaciiing a Country School. ORIGINAL SKETCH. A very amusing little comedy, giving the trials and {j-oubles of teaching in the country. Order a copy and road it, and find out for yourself the professor's troubles, •i- males, 3 females, and scholars. Price of both of the above 15 cents each. FAMILY JilRS. A Musical Farce in Two Acts. Five male and two icrfiale characters needed. Costumes easily obtained and the different characters all extra good. It has been per- f(Xtjnod in all the large cities. Time of performance forty minutes. Price 15 cents. My Neiglil]nr'sl57ifG. A Farce in One Act. Six characters needed — three male and three female. A good plot and easily brought out by amateurs. Time thirty minutes. Prioe 15 cents. 3^ -3_inBs' Plays — CantinuBd. ^ 31 21 123 20 175 8 8() 22 H4 22.5 40 72 19 42 18.S 22(1 148 21H 2it 233 l;>i 184 2m 13 GO IKi 120 1(>3 50 140 74 35 47 95 11 i«) h:> 182 127 228 lOti 139 2:51 2X) 69 1 158 2.5 208 212 32 180 44 244 ;« 2^*> 57 217 1()5 195 2.58 FARCES CONTINUED. An Unwelcome Return 3 1 A Pet of the Public 4 2 A Romautc Attachment 3 3 A Thrilling Item 3 1 A Ticket ot Leave 3 2 Betsey Baker 2 2 Better Half 5 2 Black vs. White 4 2 Captain Smith - 3 3 Cheek Will Win 3 U Cupiiis Capers 4 4 Der Two Surprises 1 1 L>cuce is in ilim.... 5 1 Did L Dream it 4 3 Domescic Felicity 1 1 Dutch Prize Fi«hter 3 Diitchy vs. Nijfger 3 Eh? W: at Did You Say 3 1 Everybody Astonished 4 Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 2 1 Fun in a Post Office 4 2 Family Discipline 1 Goose with the (t olden Eggs.. 5 3 Give Me Mv Wife 3 3 Hans the Dutch J. P 3 1 Hash 4 2 II. M. S. Plum 1 1 Jlow Sister Paxcy got her Child Baptizd 2 1 llou Siie has Own Way 1 3 How He Popped the Qucst'n. 1 1 How 1 1 Tame .M-in-Law 4 2 How Stout Vour Getting 5 2 In the Wrong Box 3 In the Wrong Cl..thes -5 3 John Smith 5 3 Jumbo Jum 4 3 Killin- Time 1 1 Kittie'-^ Wedding Cake 1 3 Lick Skillet Wedding 2 2 Laudcrbach's Jjittle Surprise 3 Lodgings for Twu 3 Matrimonial I?lis8 1 1 Match for a Mother-in-Law.. 2 2 More Blunders than one 4 3 Mother's Fool 6 1 Mr. and Mrs. Pringle 7 4 Mr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt 1 1 My Heart's in Highlands 4 3 ">!y Proc'ous Betsey 4 4 My Turn Next 4 3 Mv Wife'.- Relations 4 4 Mv Day and Now-a-Days 1 Ooodiencc 1 2 O d Clothes. 3 On the Sly 3 2 Olicllo 4 1 Paddy Miles' Boy 5 2 Paten. Washing Machine 4 1 Persecuted Dutchman 6 3 Poor Pilicody 2 3 Prof.Bones'Latestlnvontion 5 NO. 1.59 171 180 48 1:3.8 115 55 243 2.32 238 137 40 245 38 131 101 167 68 54 25.3 28 142 213 151 5 .56 70 135 147 204 15 172 98 222 214 145 1*H) 249 27 2.30 153 24 2:36 247 77 88 256 128 2,59 90 61 Z'i4 1.50 109 134 177 95 107 Quiet Family 4 Rough Diamond 4 Ripples 2 Schiiaps 1 Sewing Circle of Period S. H. A. M. Pinafore 3 Somebody's Nobody 3 Sports on a Lark 3 Stage Struck Yankee 4 Strawberry Shortcake 2 Taking the Census 1 Th;t Mysterious B'dle 2 Ticket Taker 3 Tiie Bewitched Closet 5 The Cigarette 4 The Coming Man 3 Turn Him Out ^ 3 The Sham Professor 4 The Two T.J's 4 The Best Cure 4 '1 hirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 Tit for Tat 2 Vermont Wool Dealer 5 Wanted a Husband When Women Weep 3 Wooing Under DiflBcultie^..... 5 Which will ho Marry 2 Widower's Trials 4 WakiPg Him Up 1 Why they Joined the Re- becca'* Yankee Duelist 3 Y'^ankee Peddler 7 ETHIOPIAN FARCES. Academy of Stars 6 An Unhappy Pair 1 4 3 1 5 3 2 2 1 2 2 2 1 2 2 1 2 1 3 2 1 2 3 8 5 Black Shoemaker Black Statue 4 Colored Senators 3 Chops 3 Cuff's Luck 2 Crimps Trip ~ 5 Double Election 9 Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 Hamlet the Dainty 6 Haunted House 2 Handy Andy - 2 Hypochondriac The 2 Incompatibility of Temper... 1 Joe's Vis t 2 Mischievous Nigger 4 Midnight Colic 2 Musical Darkey No Cure No Pay 3 Not as Deaf as He Seems 3 Old Dad's Cabin 2 OldPompey 1 Other People's Children 3 Pomp's Pranks ~ 2 Quarrel ome Servants 3 Rooms to Let - 2 School " 5 Bi _r€ NO. M. F. ETiUOPIAN FARCES-CONTUED. 133 Seeing Bosting — 179 Sham Doctor di 10,000 Year8 Ago 25 Sport with a Sportsman.. 92 Stage Struck Darkey 241 Struck by L'yhtnlng 10 Stock?* Up, Stocks Down., &4 That Boy Sam -.. 2.'i2 That Awful Carpet Bag., 122 The Select School 118 The Poi)Corn Man 6 TheStuclio 108 Those Awful Boys 4 Twain's Dodging IW Tricks 198 Uncle Jeff 170 U. S. Mail - 2 216 Vice Versa 3 ..._ 3 .... 3 3 ..- 3 2 2 1 .... 2 2 ... 2 .... 3 ... 3 ... 5 ... 3 .... 3 ... 5 ..... 3 .... 5 2 5 2 2 210 203 205 l.Vi 17 1.30 215 2.50 Virgmitt mumii Who Stole the > William Tell 4 Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 GUIDE BOOKS. Hints on Elocution Hints to Amateurs CANTATA. On to Victory .. TABLEAUX. Festival of Days PANTOMIME. Cousin John's Album. 4 (; MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS! PREPARED WOOL. PBEPARED WOOLIS AN AliTWLE THAT EVERY ONE, WI THO UT ANY E XPERT E NC E, CA .V MAKE INTO WIGS ! BEARDS! MUSTACHES ! ETC., ETC. AT VERY LITTLE COST, AND WILL BE SURE TO GIVE SATISFACTION. --^^ PRICE 50 CENTS PER OUNCE, t^-^ Address, AMES' PUBLISHING CO., I LOCK BOX 152. CLYDE, OHIO an rE '^- ^