(;i;.ss FS35;2/^ Book r^SZj^ A#l\^ '"^'V COlARKiMT UKl-OSn. LANCASTER L-Y-R-I-C-S THE CIRCLE IN THE vS 12 U A R E Hub of Lanc'ster centers, fair. In the circle, at its vSquare : And the daih' scenes of life Swell its bus\' waves of strife; Team and trolley moving- 'round, At four angles, e'er are found ; Auto cars and business vans Vie to bar its crowded spans ; Walking youth and waltzing maid Skip the Square at evening shade ; While the circle claims full share Of earnest folk, on its vSquare. May great markets good things show. To add fine store, with true glow ; May the masses bless fair place Which tall soldier-shaft doth grace ; May each Lancasterian pray'r Lift up Circle in the Square I Sfh/i^rnhfi to. n)i2 D. B. L. LANCASTER L-Y-R-I-C-S A Cheerful Volume OF Popular P o e m s DAVID BACHMAN LANDIS n Copiously Illustrated FROM THE Author 's Photographs Mv Land, of limpid streams, vSwiss heights, grand slopes: Thy Band loves toil, 'mid dreams Bliss flights and hopes I LANCASTER, PA. Prui.isHKi) AND Printed by the Author Pr.ucK Art Printerv 1914 COPYRIGHT, I9I4 BY D. B. LANDIS MAY 29 1914 ©CI,A374254 :::i TO A. B. KREIDER PERSEVERING STUDENT PRACTICAL TEACHER AND HAPPY SINGER OF THE HEM PFI ELDS THESK HOMELY LYRICS ARE OEDICATED BY A Former Pupil This initial tditioii of Lancaster Lyrics is limited to Four Hundred and Forty-four cojjies of which vonrs is No. -y. Signed Xll PRELUDE THE author offers these vari-tinted and -tuned versic tributes to all friendly lovers and followers (at home or elsewhere) of good, old-fashioned, every-day life and honest individual (even collective) effort in Lancaster County, as his personal, heart-shaped encouragement for their present edification and uplift; and to ever afford them, and others beyond Penn's sylvan bailiwick, inspira- tional outlook for a yet more optimistic, expansive future — free from undue, devastating fears ; — as, too, a-filling true men and women with impartial evidence of cheerful, help- ful influences in this (their) humanizing world, holding its pleasurable, destined hopes of God-given privileges and perfections for the next, ecstatic, spiritual sphere. NuTK. — Prior to 1886 the following poems were written in East Hempfield Township, under a youthful pen-name of "Davy Derby." After that period the major portion were composed since 1911, in Lancaster city; and this col lection is herewith presented, complete, without reserve, in the order of origin, after ten distinct sectional headings. Xlll TITLED CONTENTS The Circle in the Square Red Rose City Life My First Edition Lancaster Belles and Bells The "Lady Gay" When the Circus Comes to Town Old Feagleyville Flitting to the Fair At Hallow E'en When the Returns Come In The Public Marts of Lancaster Swimming on Our Little Conestoga Line Up, She 's On the Map . Notes ..... In and Out of Town Gems for All . . . . . Deft Dewej- ..... From My Front Window The Cat Parade .... Crooked Things for Straight People A-Riding in to Rohrerstown From Labor Day to Christmas Tide The Year is Born Going Out to Nature Boy, Man and Whip Boot and Shoe vShines Notes . Early Rhythm Forest Fancies To the High Wheel Karl's Kiss Winter 's Here PAGE 25 26 28 32 35 40 44 47 49 53 56 58 61 64 67 71 75 77 80 81 82 84 07 89 93 94 96 96 XV TITLED CONTENTS Lines on Life . A Lengthy Novel Condensed When " He " Fails . Warm Work To You, "Village Vigil" Beautiful Sentiments May's Mantle . Notes The Ties of Home Katie Musselman Landis Allen Baker Landis Father's Friendly Face Mother's Flowers : A Memory Christmas Cakes The Pies I Prize Owed (Ode) to Landisville My Hempfield Homes Christmas Waking Duo Birthday Sonnets Notes Pert I How About This ? . Fast and Slow I Perspire — You Sweat ? How Would You Like to Take M3 Moses All Aboard ! . A Prescription A Booster Five Times Ten Queer but Dear Weary Weather Wisdom Don't Do It . One, Two, Three ! . Too Much Of It vShirt Waists . \eksici. Place ? XVI TITLED CONTENTS Learning and Earning- Here and Now- New Life The Tiny Things Miss Sweetly . When Up or Down Short, but Sweet Find the Flaw Why, '■ Pluck " ? My Land Quick Decision Foresee Goatee Similarity They Spell and Are the Vive Valentine ! Proficiency Lo, It 's Clever ! Kindh- Win Them Notes Sam Dialectic Ballads Dot Belly ! . . . 'Mobubble Trubble . Zani-dairy Ef-fish-uncy . Cullud Weddin ' Cheer Ab's Filosofy at th' Fourth Ven It 's Dutch und Halb Deutsch The Piano Man's Tale In Sight . Sawft-biled Aigs Ganunk und Tsu \Mel Deutsch far Dich Dat Meeksom' Muhl Josh's Inspiration Yip Luej's Chop Sue\- Say, amb Y'u ah Saint ? 'Ligion an'Poloticks Don' Mix Why Write "Worses"? PAGK 142 142 f43 144 144 145 146 148 148 149 149 ^59 162 167 171 173 175 178 180 180 181 184 186 188 190 192 XVI 1 TITLED CONTENTS At da Fruit-a Stan" .... L'at 's All Lite Seein ' Things ..... Fresh Paint ...... Der Court House Barper Blatz Hans Michel's Loch .... Stop, Look and Listen ! ... Die Grosa Fressa die Kleina Uf Valuable Things Come in Small Packages Sum " Lsms " . " Let 'er Flicker " . Tearin' Down an' Buildin' LTp A-Buyde Midt Mich .... Notes ...... Trii.LvS and Fkills Headache Again ! Marj' Had — Help the Hobbles Poetr}' vs. Poultry " Thirteen " All on Account of a Comma There is No Humor in Him For Sam' and Ben's vSake Notes PAGE 193 195 197 198 199 202 204 206 207 208 210 21 1 212 214 217 219 220 221 223 226 228 232 234 Vari-Chordkd Songs A Printer's Pick-Ups Don't Shirk Your Work Paths When the Robin Comes Again All Hail the Honor of Virtue's Name ! Anglo-Saxon and Germanic Songs Red, White and Blue Can You Not Cheat Yourself? Think of the Dear, Young Days Just the Right Stroke Evolutionarv Pronunciation of "Ad" 237 239 242 247 248 249 253 255 257 259 261 XVlll TITLED CONTENTS To-day's Sonnet Notes To AND About Friends One by One They Pass To My Friends To J. D. L. To H. E. H. . To C. E. h. To B. F. W. U. Extempore, To Mrs. M. O. R. To F. R. D. at Eighty . A Triolet for Rev. Dr. C. E. H. New Year Trio Four Rare Townsmen Eest We Forget Notes .... Lyrical Vision Going Years and Coming Seasons Laughing and Weeping Shorter Steeples Death's Sleep . Past and Present The Broad-minded Man My Hope All 's Well Bluish-green Self-denial Crossing Bridges New in You Let 's Laugh, To-day Awake, Asleep — Agone ! The Pleasant Paths of Peace Thy Triumph . A Retiring Prayer . Repose .... Notes Finispiece — The Author's Leaf PAGK 263 264 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 275 276 279 280 283 286 288 291 291 292 294 296 296 297 298 300 301 303 304 306 307 308 310 314 XIX ILLUSTRATIONS From personal photographs (except frontispiece and portraits). All rights reserved. Fronti.spiece — Petin Square and Mointnient, Lancaster, in iom frosty flakes, I freely fling — Make each fresh vow Of life, to get and grandly bring. The many ways For words and acts, or thoughtful deeds, Will surely raise High hopes and strength for human needs. December 2S, igo6 D. B. L. 62 IN AND OUT OF TOWN DEFT DEWEY " Dewey," the dog, was yellow and young, His face was n't fair, 'cept eyes and tongue ; He lodged in Lanc'ster with Ad. Stark And dodged street-cars for daily lark. I 've read in staid school books, long ago, Of Rover, "the nimblest dog," you know; With feet very fleet in canine race. And every streak of dog-owned grace. Yet, my lads, there ne'er were dogs so deft "Dewey" might beat 'em right and left; His head and stern tail went like a sail. When down old town he struck new trail. His eyes blinked joy by day or night, 'Neath lashes of hair, light brown and bright Goatee had he in generous gift. As hind-legs long, so lank and swift. There never was ever a dog like he, — For " Dewey," you see, ran fast and free After cars or cats, and boys with bats. And scared bold sparrows 'way like rats. 64 IN AND OUT OF TOWN He bobbed out doors, then down front street, With froHcsome form and frisky feet ; He ne'er felt better than flirting tail Front east-bound trolleys on steel rail. "Dewey" did dodge the motor-cars, all, Sniffing fenders without e'en fall; He smiled, as he ran this way or that. And skipped from peril ever so pat. His swift running pace, with wry grimace, Inspired writer to note Dewey's chase ; If only a dog set mind to thinking, 'Twas this one with such handsome blinking. I watched his ways for many days — Apt capers, a-worthy of due praise ; No harm did he to human being, While all his acts were full of meaning. One Fall, when freemen were at ward polls Voting for those who exact our tolls, Deft "Dewey" was off on some of his stunts, Running past street-cars in play-punts. 65 IN AND OUT OF TOWN 'Fore long, this dog was a-lost to view — And, later, grim tale came to me and you " Dewey," the swift, got swept at last By the wheels he chased when going fast. Let 's add a few lines to " Dewey's" fame, That folks can think of his frank name : He did the best with clear legs so long As any one could, to cheer with a song. February 15, igj2 66 IN AND OUT OF TOWN FROM MY FRONT WINDOW WHAT DO I SEE? A-plenty o' sights of good, an' perhaps Not good, as glossed o'er at weak gaps; For th' throbbing world whirls busily by Bold view-point brought to my eagle eye. THE OP'nING week Each Monday marches forth to trade ; — And many marts of men are made Rich and ripe, in season and out, With stocks and chattels full and stout, THE MASSES MOVE Th' trolleys an' autos roll roundly by With noises, their own, one's nerves to try ; While drays and coupes in slower ways Drag on, in sunlit or storm-spent days. AT MID-WEEK The railway and street have each been plied ; Their traffic o' live- and dead-stock tried; The pace and th' race of man or beast Have added hoards, both west and east. 67 IN AND OUT OF TOWN GAILY THEY GO ! Thursday an' Friday find many folks free To flit to ye Fair, or nickel "movies" see; An' while somebody's sons are at sane work, Their brothers, e'en sisters, such will shirk. PAY-DAY S HERE When Saturday comes, Toil's week-tide ends ; My window'd front greets working friends, Going down close town to part with cash For goods they need — or not, when trash. THE Sunday's sight The shops are shut, and Sunday's sun Awakes late sleepers, one by one ; Pert lady an' "gent" pedestrians pass My window, and " use it for a glass." To church some go — and others roam Where'er their fancy leads, from home ; The live-long day, when th' weather's bright. Finds fash'nable folks in free delight. A neighb'ring band bangs up a tune Aft each and ev'ry Sunday noon ; And rag-time rills roll away in frills. With music or marches to mend one's ills. 68 IN AND OUT OF TOWN The window space at my parlor seat On Sunday 's surely a sightly treat ; Hither 'n' thither fair maidens meet Their manly mates, with winsome feet. THE FOUR SEASONS In Winter's cold th' hurrying crowd Hastes by my home, like winds, — aloud With active hearts, and hopes, — of will Which cheers all on, — nor clouds can chill. In Spring-time grand, with gay attire, The same crowds come, in gleeful fire ; Parading 'fore place, with plumes and plush, And gladly greeting their friends with "gush.' When Summer's sun its rays spend, warm, More sluggish pace is trac'd from morn 'Til dusky eve ; — sweet slumbers seek To still and soothe firm forms or meek. The fading Fall its splendors spread In fields of gold, where tillers tread ; — My window perch wists at front street, — There people go with tripping feet ! March 12, igi2 70 IN AND OUT OF TOWN THE CAT PARADE Across the fence, I wist not whence, A sunrise song opes some new day; The strains are faint, Quite queer and quaint. For human ears to hark their lay. Oft, as I wake. These sounds do make Me feel like saying things ; my friend, 'T is best to hold In check one's scold ; — Let 's kneel to praying — and eke the end. I cannot stand This soulless band — So down back stairs I step my way; And, with a stone, Or bit of bone. From kitchen door, I at them sway ! 71 IN AND OUT OF TOWN Now ev'ry cat Begins to skat To other yards, not far away ; Their heads and tails Turn 'round hid rails — And they are gone, without delay. Soon cheeky Tom Doth hither come To seek his song friends stride close fence. Well, I 'm a jade ! This cat parade Jogs by my place, in size immense ! What shall I do. But shoo till blue? And, with a broom I at them lurch — Then oflf they go, All in pat row. And, later, watch me from post-perch. I have a mind To try and find A mode to clean this cat-nest out ; — Sure trap is set ; — And, you may bet. These scratching sneaks dark danger scout. 72 IN AND OUT QF TOWN A neighbor near, Who owns no fear, His plan prepares to catch these cats ; He puts wove wire On tree-tops, higher, Or thinks to rid them off like rats. Yet each pet plan Of muse or man. Does not induce puss-cats to leave ; And their best wits Grow worse, in fits ; — The feline folks walk free, believe. The cat parade At grape-vine glade Adds its own charms to all their "hide;" Weird caterwaul With shadows fall ; And wily Tom woos well his bride. Full cat-call flute, Ballads to boot, Bring nightly noise for grave or gay ; And black-cat cries. Or gray one's eyes. Are evil enuf at end of day. 73 IN AND OUT OF TOWN A-top the fence, 'T is there, and thence. That fearful fights are fought outright ; Whate'er their grade. Each cat parade Will find its finish in spat and spite ! March jo, igrs 74 IN AND OUT OF TOWN CROOKED THINGS FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE There 're many crooked things, my folks, In these old parts of William Penn ; They 've crept close by its sturdy oaks And will, in truth, do so again ! What are these many crooked things, A-welling up like Lititz Springs? They 're twisted bretzels, crisp and brown, For people, straight, from farm or town. There 're other crooked things to tell, But they belong, well, far away ; To bare their bones, with clanging bell. Would never do on this bright day! What are the other crooked things A-leaching up like lava springs? They're lazy ways of men and wives. And badness bends their wretched lives. There 're crooked codgers ev'rywhere. In God's great globe of living souls ; The de'il's rascals reach thro' the air To gain rich prize from plain to poles ! 75 IN AND OUT OF TOWN But, surely, these are crooked things That don't belong to Lititz Springs; Its waters blend, in straightest line, With toothsome bretzels bak'd quite fine. There 's crooked business in the land. But this, of course, is not near here; The Landis clan have taken hand, Judge Kennesaw has knock'd it queer ! He ought right now just see the things Around these shades at Lititz Springs ; We 'd treat him straight to Adam's ale, And eat good bretzels without fail. July 22, igi2 76 IN AND OUT OF TOWN A-RIDING IN TO ROHRERSTOWN The way to do, When feeling blue, Is to pack up your pluck — ne'er frown- Then take my tip And make your trip By riding in to Rohrerstown ! The Red Rose city May pass a pity For the farm folks, a-tanned so brown; Yet, the truth is. There 's free, new bliss To be a-found 'round Rohrerstown ! Just take a hike On Mar'etta pike. By Shank's slow mare, up hill or down, And, then, ere nine, Your shape should shine Somewhere, a-sure, nigh Rohrerstown ! 77 IN AND OUT OF TOWN When on a wheel, A youth can feel Like a flyer, with a cycle crown ; Why, soon he '11 stop To swell his crop A-right side up at Rohrerstown ! Again, 't is jolly To take a trolley With those who care for cheap renown ; The route 's longer — Helps one's hunger — For the rich things in Rohrerstown ! If you 've sought to Go there by auto. Of course you will beat any houn'; And, 'thout fussin', You '11 just buzz in — Right in royal to Rohrerstown ! O, sad to relate, We wo n't aviate For yet awhile o'er Rohrerstown ; As Aaron's yard Must be too hard To smash the air-ships brash and brown ! August lO, I()I2 78 IN AND OUT OF TOWN FROM LABOR DAY TO CHRISTMAS TIDE In running up the monthly scales, From January to Decemb., This set is easy to rememb., Since Mem'ry rarely ever fails To serve her end In quadri-blend : September October, November, Decemberl When going down the yearly route With New Year, to his oldest days, This quartette, in their boldest ways. Glide swiftly by us, down and out, To start, once more. Such routine o'er : September, October, November, Decemberl October 26, igi2 80 IN AND OUT OF TOWN THE YEAR IS BORN Strange sounds are stealing o'er eld space Of Sleep, nigh yielding year; Dream rounds of pealing bells do trace The deep air-fielding, near; Odd pipes start whistling forth shrill wave Of tones, at fleeting sign. While folks are list'ning ; none so brave As those near meeting-shrine ! Great hum of ringing notes roll strong O'er tops of buildings, high ; God's hosts are springing hopes, — their song Swings up, a-gilding sky ! Old Year is going out, for good. His deeds now leaving, done ; New Year is growing, where sire stood. Fresh-born, free-breathing Son ! January 5, igij 81 IN AND OUT OF TOWN GOING OUT TO NATURE There's naught to do, to-day? Can we not walk, away. To Nature's wold. Where field and fen display God's yield? — erst glens delay Man's future hold ! There 's fraught fresh view, to-day ! Rich meads, bright vales — survey Of Nature's fold ! High hills, steep slopes, portray 'Mid thrills, their might — essay Sure purpose, bold ! There 's aught that 's new, to-day — Young grass grows from decay In Nature's mold ; Dry moss, wet weeds obey Laws of Cause ; seeds convey Safe fruitage, gold ! There 's caught some cue, to-day, By steps — to sense, repay — No Nature 's cold ! Vast truths greet us ; purvey Pure trust, warm hopes ; relay All wisdom, told ! Jatutary 12, igij 82 IN AND OUT QF TOWN BOY, MAN AND WHIP ON BEHIND Did you ever view light wagon Going down some road, With due boy or two just a-taggin' Back of slightest load? — That you never caught gay dodger From the sunny side Crying — to glum, driving codger Front — this funny chide : "On Behind!" Did mute teamster, " quick as thunder," Turning to the rear Of fruit wagon, slick cut under Bed of carriage-gear? — While cute youngsters gave free laughter To long whip-lash, near, As they nimbly follow'd after — Hap'ly, without fear — "On Behind!" When slow Dobbin shambles, meekly, Up lone village street. With bow-legged scrambles, weakly. As from weary feet, — 84 IN AND OUT OF TOWN Then know, too, that Bob is waiting, 'Long this pathway, bright. To let go pat, well-knit prating- Song — bliss-wove phrase, light — "Mister, Y'ur Wheels 're Coin' 'Round!" When warm driver sights cold scape-grace- Youthful "dolt" at that— He scorns horse-flight, or slow ape-pace. While he scolds sly " brat "— Wafts bad humor, in mad fashion — Bile words, tit for tat ; Yet, Bob wiggles from whip lashin' Glibly, with chit-chat : "Mister, Y'ur Wheels 're Coin' 'Round!" HORSE-KILLER Hast thou, elder, heard of hyphen- Ated word like one The writer shalt place, per siphon, At whip-verselets, done? — Then thee canst sense, as youth before, Why 't was ever thus — A boy, humanely, wilt but outpour His wrath when grievous : "Horse-Killer!" March 22, igij 86 IN AND OUT OF TOWN BOOT AND SHOE SHINES When calfskin shoe-legs were in prime, 'Fore and after Sixty, Then "gents" got rid of grit or grime By boot shine-ups, fixt, see ! Bright, bare-foot, black-hide boys of Ham With box and brush, quickly. Knelt down at side-walk, curb or jamb, To rub stiff boots, slickly. " Let 's black y'ur boots an' make 'em shine," Said the dark sons, trickly; "An' only cos' a-half a dime" — Five-cent coin, dropt thickly. High boots went out, low shoes came in, With lace-strings — weak, sickly ; Both black and white lads brusht for "tin" By shoe-shines — sleek, " chicly." 87 IN AND OUT OF TOWN Young Gr-r-reeks got on the shoe-shine gr-r-round In Lancaster, gr-r-randly ; Their gr-r-rit took hold of shop at bound, For our nickels, bl-1-andly. New ways, apt work won growing trade As ne'er afore, rightly; Fresh shines and gloss to-day yield aid Per stray half dimes, sprightly. April 5. igij Vz^^iaBui (Pdis 88 IN AND OUT OF TOWN NOTES Pages 61-62. — The chief thought of "Gems for AH" came about one crisp Win- ter evening, when the writer was crossing over Penn Square, where, under large electric lights, myriads of pure white snow-flakes came gently down from upper gray darkness ; then scintillated briefly, like many-sided brilliants, making way for other wavering flakelets of still more sparkling character; covering, and shedding their temporary riches upon, all travelers alike. Pages 64-66. — In memory of a few activities of the nimblest dog the author ever met and watched. Pages 67-70. — A vivid and accurate account of some of the moving sights as witnessed, in season, "From My Front Window." Pages 71-74. — Could colony of cats themselves read this, their parading record (as also corroborated by inner circle of chronicler), they could not do other- wise than recognize how resolutely their favorite haunts and habits have been "given away." Pages 75-76. — Written for and read at the second annual re-union of the Lan- dis Family of Eastern Pennsylvania, at Lititz, August 3, 1912. Pages 77-78. — Composed for festive social session of the Lancaster Automobile Club, and read on lit-up lawn of the evening's host, Mr. Aaron B. Landis. Page 81. — The intent of this short poem is to literally portray the birth of an incoming year, as when the New -time Arrival arouses from suspended repose, at midnight, in and near-by the author's bed-chamber. Page 82. — Nature is a True Teacher, from any human view-point; and her lav- ish lessons will ever help pensive, pent-up persons, who, having healthy legs and lungs, can and should walk freely out from crowded apartments or thoroughfares, to watch the Eternal Worker's harmonizing handicraft upon all sides — utilizing structural processes here, leveling powers there, and modeling many useful, productive materials for man, everywhere. Pages 84-86. — Every American adult who was, at earlier period, a boy (or girl) of active perception, always at that time quickly noticed the Man with a Whip, and Boy or two behind his Wagon ; and thus took part in youthful Side-walk Sympathy for misused Horse. The boy felt stinging qualities of the lash on animal, by similar sensations on self or companion, from the unyielding man. Pages 87-88. — The shoe-shine business in this land never got much further ad- vanced than strapped-box, brush and blacking of the pavement colored-and- white polishers (if, here and there isolated stands were excepted), until the thrifty Greeks "got on the job"; and, since then, their rooms and build- ings have become revelations to shoe-shine industry. The author has no- ticed great eagerness of young Greek boys to learn English, in the same manner as do the German races, after locating here. 89 ^wr Illilllllillillllilllillllllilllllliillilllilllillllilililllililllilliiilli EARLY I RHYTHM I Lancaster Lyrics FOREST FANCIES Beneath big branches, bending, Of eld and stately oak, My raptures are a-blending As If with fairy folk Speaking In faint whispers Of dim or fading past — Amid these breathing zephyrs Stray leaves are lightly cast. Here, by ope glade, a-gleaming, Where tendrils green abound, Am I, in fancies, dreaming — Idling on sward aground — Wrapt in transports, crestful, At wooded teemings, grand ; Fill'd with beauties, questful, Of Builder's forceful hand. Nigh forest oaks, a-growing, I love to ofttime roam ; — My fancy leaps, a-glowing. As of some fairer home Beyond the pale of place Where youthful pleasure lies — Bright, earth-free heights, of grace, With splendors of the skies. October i, 1880 Davy Derby 93 EARLY RHYTHM TO THE HIGH WHEEL The wheel ! The high, Hght-framed wheel ! With threaded spokes of silv'ry steel, And mirrored chime o' musical peal ; Thou rollest by, with faintest sound. O'er stretches free, of smoothest ground. Making a 'cyclist's heart rebound ! Fleeing vision — graceful, ideal — Seeming stately, so grandly real ! — Thy motion helpeth rider feel As if he were on airy wings, Or filmy, fairy-fashed things, Instead o' — saddle and sad springs ! September lo, 1883 94 EARLY RHYTHM KARL'S KISS The kiss Karl doth remember- 'Twas just inside o' kitchen- Was stolen ; — and the slender Girl gave rifler a switchin' ! Sept €711 ber 20, i88j WINTER 'S HERE ! One night there came a chill blizzard, Right near ze dawn of another day ; It quite froze Fall's queer wind-gizzard Like brick form'd o' ze toughest clay ! November 20, i88j 96 EARLY RHYTHM LINES ON LIFE This life is full of free pleasures, Enslaved, too, its state of sad sins; A life where large, boasted treasures Are barely much else than bad "wins." To-day this life is all-smiling ; The mean-time may a-thrust strong tears ; The Future 's oft fondly beguiling Us front, with her lust for long years. 'T is a life bent with many burdens, A place pack'd by gross pain and gloom; A life with gray, grasping guerdons That trend downward to dark'ning tomb. This life, by Some planned purpose, Dwells briefly for a few dream-days ; When Sleep, hope's Sweet, will usurp us. To soothe our weary souls with praise. February /, 18S4. 97 EARLY RHYTHM A LENGTHY NOVEL CONDENSED CHAPTER I A cheery talk, A pleasant walk, A bower; Around the stile, A moonlit smile : A flower ! CHAPTER n A minute's rest. As playful zest, Capricious ! A cherry lip. Aft kissing nip, Delicious ! CHAPTER HI Loving demand. She giveth hand. Ere stopping ; A second's pause, An ask'd-for cause : Pair popping ! 98 April /, 1884 EARLY RHYTHM CHAPTER IV A further walk, To have short talk With papa; They quite agree, But yet must see Her mamma ! CHAPTER V Things all O. K., No long delay, A carriage ; T' another house He taketh spouse: By marriage ! CHAPTER VI He has a wife. But such a strife. Oh, Ever! She has a man Who do n't now fan. No, Never ! MORAL Dull men should heed This when they "need" A darling ; Slow maids might know What 's meant to "glow" As starling ! 99 EARLY RHYTHM WHEN "HE" FAILS 'T is when he gets "spliced" to the modern belle, And she his purse doth valiantly assail, His property he then begins to sell, And in business doth finally fail. May 23, 1884 WARM WORK And now the busy reaper-man Improves each sunny second, By gleaning grain, on gen'rous plan, 'Thout thought o' time, as reckoned. June 27, 1884 100 May 2, 1884 EARLY RHYTHM TO YOU, "VILLAGE VIGIL" Good-morning, villa watch, I see that you are out ; Dull night delays no dawn In tracking o'er lone route ; Your face is fresh and free. Clear voice as frankly right; Methinks your very form A-maketh all folk bright. "Vigil," friend, I tell you, And in the kindest way, Grandly you find welcome Whate'er the time of day; Your latest trav'ling dress Is surely trim and neat ; While ev'rything 'bout you Seems purely hard to beat. To-day, 't is now full year Since you first sped this way ; And I 'm real glad to hear That you have grown to stay ; So, village guard, for you. As each and ev'ry friend. Here 's greeting that 's " true blue Hope goal will be best end ! 102 EARLY RHYTHM Beautiful sentiments, like beautiful flowers, Brighten our life-ways, in loneliest hours. Autograph A/binn, 1884 May 2, 1885 MAY'S MANTLE 'Mid new, bursting beauties, Nature wendeth her way. To view Springtime duties- Mature mantle for May. 103 EARLY RHYTHM NOTES Page 93. — Not a few large oak, chestnut and hickory trees at L,andisviUe and vicinity, forty and more years ago, are suggested by "Forest Fancies," one of the author's early literary effusions penned at age of eighteen. Page 94. — The "high" wheel, of original bicycle period, had its own fine and freakish features — among the latter, awkward "headers" being quite pro- lific. The writer rode first "ordinary " bicycle owned between Lancaster and Harrisburg, and became ardent advocate of 'cycling and "good roads" in local and national press, from the early eighties. Page 97. — Life is ever changeful and uncertain, while its happiest times are usually of limited or curtailed duration. As we go through this animate state, from its extremes of youth and age, there are daily evidences of downward tendencies to inevitable sepulchre ; yet, shining out of darkness, above all worldly shadows or apprehension, there is, in every enlight- ened human mind, always One Sure Ray of Hope, which keeps the faint- est spark of life aglow to its final passing from heart-kept sphere to opti- mistic, soulful spirituality. Pages 98-99. — Not all novels read alike, nor do they terminate the same. Where two hearts keep a-beating as one throughout their lives, the later days of twain ought naturally be among the best, if not, too, the brightest, of wedded experience. Page 102.— The Village Vigil was established in May, 1883, by the author ; and, after its second volume, was enlarged and published for another year by him, under head of The Landisville Vigil. 104 THE TIES I OF HOME I ■■IliilllllllililllllillOllllllinillMllllilllilllillillHIIIilllillilllilllllli Lancaster Lyrics KATIE MUSSELMAN LANDIS Budding flowret, fair and sweet; Dear little Katie so blest ; Sometime we expect to meet In Glory, Peace and Rest. October 5, iSgi ALLEN BAKER LANDIS Like a star in Heaven above, The brightness of his face Made our Allen's infant love Shine with a winsome grace. October 6, i8gi D. B L 107 THE TIES OF HOME FATHER'S FRIENDLY FACE My father's form and face were fair To me, as boy and man, I 'm sure ; I ne'er felt fear near him, for there Were wishes true to me, and pure. His face was friendly all day long. Without pretense, or sordid show; His whistle clear, and helpful song. Were somewhere near, as one could know. Each guest who came to visit him. Was gladly greeted, with free hand ; For none found father gruff or grim — His acts were facts both good and grand ! A face like this was full of life — It beamed its best in busy ways ; And joyful jests were ever rife From him, to end of earthly days. 108 THE TIES OF HOME Few folks, perhaps, were ever blest With parent quite like this, my own; I Ve felt that father's fate did rest In his best hopes for kindred known. Now, while I can no longer meet The ready hand, or steady form, May I not see, in mem'ry sweet, A friendly face with features warm ? Fcbniary 21, igiz 109 THE TIES OF HOME MOTHER'S FLOWERS: A MEMORY When mem'ry brings my mother near Again, as in Hfe's blessed hours At village home, 't is then her dear Love beams forth, like treasur'd flowers. With busy hands and watchful care, Scarce seeds, choice bulbs she well planted And nurs'd from mold to warming air Where tendrils grew, full free, a-slanted. Her floral-beds were all kept bright Close by house-wall or vine-edges ; And richest colors swept the sight About silk-green, sunlit hedges. Pert pansies tried, with plastic pride Of winsome face, to thus coquet One from fair "posies" at their side, As, crimson roses for soubrette. 110 THE TIES OF HOME The coxcombs held gay heads up high Like chantic fowl, clear for crowing ; While daisies deftly dwelt, close by, With dainty, classic charms a-showing. The cluster'd crowns of lilacs, sweet — The purpled flags — the buds a-blooming- The fragrant fronds — were mother's treat In flower-time, while tall pluming. When Fall winds found the tangled ferns. And tore away late, faded flow'rs. Then mother put some plants in urns Or pots, to cheer our jaded hours. Thus, through the growing, passing years, Where former field has gone, forever. My mind is free from massing fears — Mother's flowers yet yield, ever ! November 24, igi2. Ill THE TIES OF HOME CHRISTMAS CAKES Fresh Christmas cakes give good, crisp cheer When they come forth, just once a year; And, young or old folks think them best Of all bak'd cakes — these beat the rest. When mother made her cakes, so great. Their moulded forms were right to date ; They tasted fine and kept us quiet, A-left each free from duller diet. The baking time o' each December Was pretty prime, as we remember; Rare kitchen odors, always tempting. None could resist without relenting. We all lik'd cakes, whate'er their kind, — The ginger bread, e'en lemon rind ; Square cakes, round ones, odd shapes or sort,- Each cake was ate with zest and sport. In later years, when fully grown. And living now at newer throne. With wife and children — bless each chum — Again the Christmas cakes have come ! 112 THE TIES OF HOME Making and baking things have chang'd Somewhat as styles or sizes are rang'd ; Though, yet, the same rich cakes are here. When Christmas comes, at close of year. Light, catchy cakes, free folk can tell, Are just the same, in sight and smell ; There is small turn that they do note, — For, do n't each cake go down some throat ? True friends may come and moreover go. And worldly gods may cease to grow; Sweet Christmas cakes greet fair home shrine, For children's sake — they get them, fine ! Dcceiuher 20, igii 113 THE TIES OF HOME THE PIES I PRIZE The pies that I propose to eat Are those to prize ; When bak'd real neat, they are a treat — Good in them lies ! There 're many makes of pies in town That one can gain ; The kind I like are crisp and brown — Prociuce no pain ! The pies, by test, I love the best Are rich and rare ; They 're fresh and hot, and reach the spot- None can compare ! My pious friends with pieish taste Should view this verse : Shun pies built bad, in haste and waste — To make one worse ! Let 's brighter be, 'twixt thee and me. And lunch on pies ; Let 's live and see tarts fine and free — To bless the skies ! 114 THE TIES OF HOME Let 's dine on pies with dimples, pure, Where juices flow ; Let 's learn to prize the sort that 's sure — To have good dough ! At last you ask. What brand of pies I seek the most ? That 's tame to tell, where truth just lies — Three tip this host ! Th' cherry (or berry), pumpkin and mince- Gee, what a great lot ! They please my palate wi' nary a wince — Further I prate not ! December 26, igii 115 THE TIES OF HOME OWED (ODE) TO LANDISVILLE Where is the fairest town to-day In Pennsylvania's valleys, wide ? Let 's tritely trill: There can no cleaner place display Such handsome homes, with public pride, Than Landisville ! Chorus : Fair Landisville ! Clean Landisville ! The town that 's true to civic will — Lov'd Landisville ! Long since, whence forests vastly stood Where church and camp-ground now are seen, The German will Wrought changes in the oak-bound wood, And planted plenty on the green. Past " Centreville." Forefathers built their houses strong With tough trim'd timbers from big farms ; Their labors thrill Later lads, and lighter lasses throng Close to the sainted spots, with charms, Near Landisville ! 116 THE TIES OF HOME The old is gone, the new has come ! The rugged roads are worn away With wondrous skill ! The streets and side-walks all have some Bright blessings now, at this late day, In Landisville ! Hail ! to the richest rural space Near Susquehanna's reaches, rare ! Hearts gladly fill With hope ; and grateful words we trace For Hempfield's honest sons, so square, At Landisville ! February 26, igi2 118 THE TIES OF HOME MY HEMPFIELD HOMES LANDISVILLE On Lincoln-day, in Sixty-two, At Landisville, an humble view Of sextette homes, near Hempfield hills. Was destined me, midst war-time thrills. Full fifty years have pass'd away Since I once there saw peep o' day; — Spare tenth this time to sweetly roam At my birth-place, in parents' home. Gray grandma, good, next door did dwell- To her I could child "troubles" tell; With snow-white cap, in lace so old. She seemed to me like trace of gold. These first four years, near forebear's land. Where father drummed for village Band, Are clustered close to mem'ry's sight ; And I can ne'er remove them, quite. 119 THE TIES OF HOME CENTREVILLE Where long "The Owl" and "Rising Sun" Their tavern signs had trav'lers won — And mother, dear, dwelt twice at place — Two boyhood years were mine to trace. This fruitful farm, on Hempfield high, Had clever charms, for me to try ; — Running "Rover" oft swiftly sped Aft browsing cows, in clover red. In autumn's haze, when days were short, My father joined in boyish sport ; And down the hills we sped, together. On home-made sled, in wintry weather. Not far away, to school I went, In Sixty-seven — with wisdom bent ; — On benches long, built plain and well, I tried to learn — to write and spell. ROHRERSTOWN The next three years, in Hempfield down To eastern shire, at Rohrerstown, Were spent some most delightful days 'Mongst boyhood mates with winning ways. 120 THE TIES OF HOME The rolling mill was in "full blast," And "good times" throve while they did last! Then father sold confections, sweet, And these, I own, were wholesome treat. The low frame house of single story, In Sixty-nine, was in full glory; And Rohrerstown had rural fame For peace and plenty to its name. Its narrow streets and trade-shops, small. Were worthy spots to each and all ; — In Nineteen twelve, how changed the scene ! Now trolleys trail by lawns kept green ! RUNNING PUMP Eighteen seventy, in fall of year. By " Running Pump," full mile due west, My father bought land-tract, quite clear. And built his house, close highway crest. At age of nine, in Seventy-one, For but twelve months, there we thriv'd well The fertile fields rare riches won ; — Fourth Hempfield home brief hist'ry tell. 122 THE TIES OF HOME I lov'd to loll in new-mown hay, Thro' Summer's sun when days were calm ; And mix'd light work or mirthful play, With sister's song, on this small farm. From Chestnut Hill, north of child-place. Fair scenes spread out to Manor's meads;— E'en Winter's chill wrought its wild grace With sweeping winds 'cross snapping weeds. SALUNGA Contraction straight from Indian source, "Salunga" folks trace its renown; And East or West, true Hempfield's course Tricks through the Chiqua-bordered town. From Seventy-two, near Seventy-five, I linked my state with village store ; And learned to watch plain people strive On near-by farms, their wealth to score. Where one-time there was not a church. Now at this time, there are found three ; Whence two hotels held forth to lurch Weak men — these, too, are shut, you see ! 124 THE TIES OF HOME Salunga, thus, is on strong map, — For railway tracks and trolley roads, Or turnpike streets, now vastly lap Its environs, and bear its loads, BAMFORD At Hempfield's heart, nigh Snapper Creek, My parents moved, in Seventy-five, To a new home, with store-trade thick; And Bamford grew — then ceased to thrive. The zinc works there were brisk and big. And mines and men were on the go ; While furnace flames and crushing jig Kept things a-hustling, high and low. My last school days, so grand and good. At Independence I dici spend ; And youthful plays, near hillside wood. Gave gladsome joys, clean to their end. Oh ! Hempfield homes, my hearthstone shrines ! How sweet thy hopes and pure thy dreams ! While life shall last, may I, in lines, Extol thy hills and praise thy streams ! March 2j, igi2 126 THE TIES OF HOME CHRISTMAS WAKING It 's Christmas morn. Pa 's in repose, At pillow'd place, with head. Ere chilly dawn, ears bare disclose Faint footsteps near warm bed — Softly they go. Steady and slow — A boyish face peers at bright clock ; 'T is scarcely five; when, there's light shock The tower'd bells of Christ 're waking. With pealing waves of joy ! Pa 's waking, too ; his heart 's quaking — Nerves shaking — just as boy ! Greeting his child, Speaking — both wild With delight that Night's near worn, A-flight by bells at Christmas morn ! To resting room of maid in dreams, Near hall at head of stair. Our restless lad his sister gleans Sight of, and wakes, aware ! 127 THE TIES OF HOME Jumping with joy, Bumping, this boy Leads father's steps adown dark space To living parts, with eager pace ! A brilliant blaze of light appears. Tall cedar tree spreads out ; The bustling chap bursts into cheers At Santa's trap to rout Wishes o'er due — Payments put thru' With glitt'ring gifts for watchful lad Now weighted down and made glad ! December 28, igr? 128 ■1 /I ... ^j 'W ^d^ns 1 I ' ^|H|' '^ ■*■- \''¥^''^ih i 1 - ^^ ■'^^^" : ■- ;^ ..^;^ L '■ 4 . 'J " r 7 vZ*"-^,.: »' />^'' ^ ^M l|.4^:..^# J::^ .^. i^^HM 1 I ^ j^fp^^jBgpi^ '^ >— ^Hi A Christmas Tree, Nineteen Hundred and Twelve THE TIES OF HOME DUO BIRTHDAY SONNETS A. L. Four more than hundred years a babe was born In humble hut, by wooded land and seam; Kentucky, then, was wild ; each cliff, e'en stream. Of hers set forth bold, hardy claim; sharp thorn Held sway thro' tangled tracks; this wintry morn Awoke to witness act of wondrous deed From holy wisdom: Hardin County's seed Astart to clear the chains of slaves— adorn Its seat in after age with honored fame; For Nation's freedom from shadow'd spot; As added glory to an honest name. Few lives have lent or given nobler lot Than Lincoln's, as a servant-savior's aim, To leave with human kind no shackl'd blot. 130 THE TIES OF HOME D. L. (Feb. 12) This birthday sonnet shares a dual part; Its music moves, in living tones, thro' rhyme A-writ by one who, here in his best time, Is blest with health and hope ; whose happy heart Lifts up a lyric song of welling chime ! Some scenes, good friends, from him are far apart ; While others e'er are close within warm reach ! The times far gone and those near hand, sublime. Have held their homely, splendid share of each ! The present hours are full and pure with joy From pleasant powers ; all these freely teach Fresh truths for better service ; thus to buoy Faint burdens of the day; by paeans preach A broader, boundless faith beyond alloy ! January 26, igij 131 THE TIES OF HOME NOTES Page 107. — Two lovely children of author were stricken with diphtheria, the first year his family resided at 38^2 East Chestnut Street, and passed quickly away within little more than a Fall day on dates appended to re- spective verses, written a few months later. Pages 108-109. — Father's clear-formed character was fairly reflected in his con- stantly generous disposition ; and those who knew him best will bear out the son's faithful delineation and permanent tribute to a parent's pleasing personality. Pages iio-iii. — Mother had a marvellous knowledge of Nature's vegetation and flowers ; and, in her be.st home-making years, she had green yard and near- by garden growing a-full with God's fashions of his visible kingdom on earth ; part of which flora she liberally transplanted indoors and took loyal care of throughout less hardy seasons. Pages 112-115. — Good living is one of Lancaster County's "cards," while her cooks and bakers are blessings to every household within her inviting bor- ders. The author adds versic testimony to well-made local pastry, with assurance of genuine inspiration from years of rational epicurean experience. Pages 116-118. — The reader when noting query, "Where is the fairest town to- day in Pennsylvania's valleys, wide?" will assuredly voice assent to answer of " Landisville," revered home-ground of composer's direct ancestors, whose former farms are being absorbed by the thriving community. Prior to its first post-oflice, this settlement was called "Centreville," from fact of its lying equa-distant between Lancaster and Mount Joy. Pages 1 19-126. — This descriptive epic gives varied history, in simple language, of the author's six boyhood homes in East and West Henipfield town- ships — every locality leaving its own splendid impress upon rejuvenated memory. Pages 127-.28. — A thrilling interpretation of awakening in the author's happy little household on Christmas morning — quickening more than any single event tbroughout each year. Pages 130-131. — In closing these pardonably personal "Ties of Home," the duo sonnets alluding to birthdays of our Nation's most sacrificing and humble character, Lincoln, and of later-favored writer, should not be found unworthy of discriminating indulgence and interest. 132 PERTINENT VERSICLES Lancaster Lyrics HOW ABOUT THIS? The man who spitteth on clean floor, Or faileth oft to shut front door, — Should please not do thus any more, On pain of being put with bore Whom we do n't altogether like. Noveiiiber 5, igoz FAST AND SLOW When we are young (and "swung") We do odd things (with "springs"); When we are old (less "bold"). We rue such days (and "ways"). May 10, 190J D. B. L. 135 PERTINENT VERSICLES I PERSPIRE— YOU SWEAT? When I perspire, And feel a -fire, The cutic-glands Of halting hands Seemeth as steam ! When you do sweat, And get so wet With labor's toll, Don't you just boll Like hot water ? August 9, igo6 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE MY PLACE ? How would You like to take My place ? — It's a very good place for me; You might do more in th' daily race. And perhaps not so much, you see ! My place, sometimes, is quite chock-full. Then, again, 't is easy enough ; And you, maybe, could readily pull Thro' things that are to me quite tough. April 8, igio 136 PERTINENT VERSICLES MOSES Dare vas un oldt mon, callt Moses, Vot didt soldt all kindt uf clothses ; His brices vas sheep, Unt cretit dog steep On ac-fow-nt uf his pig, broadt noses. April 2S, igio ALL ABOARD ! Right cheery be on lea or land, With clouded sky, or sunlight, grand ; You 'II safely seek somewhere to stand Where happy hosts will grasp your hand. December i8, igri B A PRESCRIPTION Take a dose of kind feeling and lots of mirth, And mix them right freely and truly ; Not a dope can be better, on this dull earth, To boost up one's blues when unruly. Decetuher /8, rgrr 137 PERTINENT VERSICLES A BOOSTER The biggest booster S Is a /ive rooster ! yt For, as he crows, His boosting grows From tip of toes To throat and nose. The bravest booster Is a big rooster ! His language flows Where'er he goes, To friends or foes, As each one knows. February 22, Tgi2 January S, igi2 FIVE TIMES TEN Five tens are fifty, say ? — Yes, that is surely so ! Twice fifty, hundred, eh ? — True, as you fully know ! When fifty, tens tell five ; Well and wisely stated ! Ten tens in hundreds thrive ; Just as nicely slated ! 138 May /, igT2 PERTINENT VERSICLES QUEER BUT DEAR The day dawns dull and dreary — The sun seems sad and weary — The clouds creep by, less clearly; Yet — lad and lass love dearly ! WEARY WEATHER WISDOM When the weather 's dreary, While your body 's weary. Then try to be so cheery That none can scout a change. E'en when the sun is shining. Some hearts may be repining And bend their backs defining Dark truck that 's out of range. I never yet Could see the use To ever fret Like silly goose. August I/, rg/2 139 PERTINENT VERSICLES DON'T DO IT Art e'er inclined to work a wrong ? Don't do it. 'T is better now to hesitate, Before the deed doth circulate Among the masses and the throng ; Taboo it I August 77, Tg/2 August ig, igT2 ONE, TWO, THREE! The first girl he won When but twenty-one ; The second mate, new, While near thirty-two ; The third wife, we see, Whirls in 't forty-three. This is marrying Without tarrying ! 140 PERTINENT VERSICLES TOO MUCH OF IT Some poets, they polish and refine so much, There 's small part left but lean bones ; They scrape away flesh from English or Dutch, And finish their scraping with stones — Keen polishing stones To abolish the bones ! August 2j, igr2 SHIRT WAISTS There are shirt waists Without dirt wastes, And wasted shirts For waisted dirts ; Some waisted shirts See wasted dirts, As shirted waists Hide dirtied wastes 1 August 24, Tgi2 141 PERTINENT VERSICLES LEARNING AND EARNING When Lester is learning, His father is earning The cold cash of this land ! His mother is churning ; And sister is burning The gas, to catch Al's hand ! Now Lester is earning, — While father is burning Cigarros to chase the band ! Cute sister is yearning, — And mother is learning That Al 's just caught her, grand ! August 20, Tgi2 HERE AND NOW Right here and now is your own time To grandly drill each goodly deed ; The best that 's in this day is prime To plant for people in their need. August 29, I()I2 142 PERTINENT VERSICLES NEW LIFE A man, who waited long in life, Bethought himself to win a wife, Since ill content Him wishes lent. This fellow found a vent at last — His fallow funds he spent so fast That "chic Sue" smil'd At slick "new child"— They quick grew wild ! August 22, igi2 THE TINY THINGS A grain of sand is surely small, Yet it doth fill its perfect place; A blade of grass is scarcely tall. But it doth breast the sward with grace. Full many a star is kept by day To shine, like gem, in deepest night; A thought from thee speedeth away To other spheres beyond thy sight. Aiio}(sl 2Q, igi2 143 PERTINENT VERSICLES MISS SWEETLY Lithe Miss Sweetly Flits down streetly, With fine feetly ; She 's built neatly, Can't be beatly, Let 's her greetly ! Oh, how meekly She does speakly; Glad to meetly ; Let 's go treatly Blithe Miss Sweetly — A-with What ? Soda, Hot ! September 14, igi2 October 5. rgr? WHEN UP OR DOWN When you are down. Do as apt clown : Bob up ^t bo""^ From off ^he ground. When you are up, Do as bred pup: Squat down to eat The best q£ j^eat 144 PERTINENT VERSICLES October 26, rgi2 SHORT, BUT SWEET Pure maiden's blushes, red, Are rosebuds, sweet — In bloom ; Fair manhood's wishes wed Rare, fleeting treat — Or doom ! FIND THE FLAW If you are failing some. Or blue and ailing — glum — Just "boo" the jailing Bum Till new tho'ts sailing come November iS, igi2 145 PERTINENT VERSICLES WHY, "PLUCK"? One time a Man took Me to task, And, then and there, some test did ask, To trick a tho't, so that no mask Of truck Might suck Odd luck:— PFhy, '' Pluck"? Now, hear me hit dull head, or cask. Of him who had weak heart to bask Near home, where he could hoist a flask Dear Duck, My Pluck Leads Luck A -muck ! Jajniary 6, igij 146 PERTINENT VERSICLES My Land, of limpid streams, Swiss heights, grand slopes ; Thy Band loves toil, 'mid dreams- Bliss flights, and hopes ! January i, igij QUICK DECISION A well-built chap, who wisht a "snap," Beheld an ad. short time In paper space, where "Wanted" scrap Was put at 10 c. per line, And he. With glee. Decided to "git" it. The work went "hard," the days dwelt long; The "snap"— it felt not "soft"; To shake his job, this chap's swan-song Was apt, so very oft, To be Quite free, Decided, to "quit" it. January //, rgrj 148 PERTINENT VERSICLES FORESEE GOATEE Never say No, in despair; Clever may grow chin affair ! Ever lay low — skin ensnare! Sever ? Nay, grow ! Win whate'er Spare Hair Pair There February /, 79/j SIMILARITY To illustrate some likelihood — Or understand same sisterhood — Of simile sounds, Do advocate sane attitude — Nor countermand vain gratitude — Near female grounds: Tell 's what th' matter is with Hannah. Ah ! equal name Spells back- and forward, e'er, H-a-n-n-a-h For sequel fame ! February /, igjj 1-49 PERTINENT VERSICLES THEY SPELL AND ARE THE SAME We find that Snakes are Sneaks — Whim-kind of fakes and freaks, Which wind at brakes, nigh teaks — Will blind fat drakes, by tweaks — Crawl in streaks, Fall to creeks ; Sprawl from peaks. Stall at shrieks ! Febniary j, igij VIVE VALENTINE ! Fair Youth will grow With heart a-glow When missive hastes, by mail, to him From Maid of grace — Whose form and face Fill blissful fates a-full to brim ! Coy Maid doth pose Pink cheeks, as rose. When Valen Tine his dart hath cast Clear to her breast — Pure Love's cloy test — Sure, blushing sign, while heart shall last ! February lo, igij 150 PERTINENT VERSICLES PROFICIENCY To trust in thy efficiency, A meet, effective agency Thee must pin : Try proficiency, — And treat progressive stages, — see Febriiary 22, igij LO, IT 'S CLEVER ! No, 'tis never o'er late to learn New stuff in life ; Woe is ever sore fate. Do spurn Blue-buff ; win wife ! March /, igij KINDLY WIN THEM Heap full, all hostile crowns, with fav'ring cheer. Aft these wreak forth their worst ; You '11 win them yet to friendship's ways, so clear, When they sneak from what 's curst. Scptcviber 20, igij 151 PERTINENT VERSICLES NOTES Paares 135-136. — These, and similar, pertinent versicles are product of close ob- servation by author, in his customary business and civic activities. Page 137. — The tenor of "All Aboard," "A Prescription," etc., is toward neigh- borly cheerfulness. These little verses are forerunners of j'ct others, equallj- pleasant in feeling and expression. Page 138. — As undaunted and successful booster, from average view-point, noth- ing excels a real large, robust rooster; consequently his position is prop- erly placed at top of page, where his chanticleric form can be seen to full advantage. Page 138. — "Five Times Ten" tabulates off-hand verselet for an own fiftieth birth-tide dinner program, on Lincoln-day, 1912. Pages 142-143. — "The Tiny Things," after all, are intrinsically worth any one's while, from writer's interpretation; as, also, "Here and Now" is our pro- pitious time to settle personal accounts of more or less perplexing detail. Pages 144-145. — The various versicles pertaining to "opposite sex," as placed in this section of volume, show vivid appreciation of their virtual charms ; with man's natural penchant for bantering at prevailing foibles or fashions. Page 146. — Pluck recalls a former periodical published by author; and its cour- ageous spirit is still tacked to well-known trade title of attractive printery. Page 151. — A favorite term, used by an old acquaintance, was to ''Kill them (distracters) with kindness." The wiiter embodies that same basic idea in "Kindly Win Them," so as to avoid actual slaughter — which savors rather acutely of wretched warfare. 152 DIALECTIC BALLADS iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Lancaster Lyrics DOT BELLY! Ven dinner 's ofer und I gits oup Vrom py mine blace at der tables, Mit stummick full uf meat und zoup ; Dot 's de dime I 's hartly ables — It 's too schnelly For mine belly ! De goot tings looged so vary nize, Ven I sits down ter dat fat feest, Dot I shoost fress'd four punken pies; Und now I feels, vrom vest to y-east, Os eef jelly Jarr'd mine belly I I dakes a valk arount der house Dwenty dimes ; och ! der pains inside — Dot ish, inside mine mittles — souse Mit misery ! Los mich doch hide Dot hot helly In mine belly ! May 4, igi2 ■ D. B. L. 155 DIALECTIC BALLADS 'MOBUBBLE TRUBBLE Mine automobubbles Makes me so mooch trubbles MIdt der motion. Somedimes I couldt scolt like Dutchman, und 'em all hike Indo de ocean ! You zee, ven I dit bawt dese Bod'rsum, bloomin' mashee's, Dey moofs gwickly. Py gosh ! he buffs ant she balks Down sthreets un' ofer sitevalks S' vary schlickly ! Yusht dink, de oder day, fine, Ven I sthruck on a bee line For de tea-poe. To ketch der "flyer," kerflop; Dot awdo he could n't sthop — Hidt a key-hole ! — 156 DIALECTIC BALLADS At dot hotel-blace klose py ; Und chinks, oxcitement vent high ! Ein perleesman He help'd to ubset de awdo 'Bout aroundt, ash he ought to, Like tu blease von. I tanks him, dot plue-coat — Und cranks 'im, d' awdogote — Till she chuggles ; She schnorts like she 's crazes. Make me madder 'n blaces, Und den buckles ! Short sthops, von't go, axts kweer, Os eef she souf'd sour beer; I 'm dumb-lost-ed ! I yanks her, ant sphanks her, Und kicks her — sphits at her, Till hex-hawsted ! Poof-oof ! choog-ug ! chuger-uf ! Chimeny, how she chatters-oof ! I 'm de showfer For shure fer dis gondrivance, Midout foolish cornivance — She 's no schlow-car 1 157 May 7, igi2 DIALECTIC BALLADS Mackadum pike I like, Awdo zoon it duz sthrike — We speed like zin — Unt, vot vas dot hissen' Hinnernous, like kissen' ? Weel busted in ! Mit a lodt of ott dools, Vile I swets like olt fools, I patches her; Pump her. Dot 'mobubbles She make me such trubbles To matches her ! I drots her home mit haste, Haf no eggstra dime to vaste, To der gar-rodge ; I dink, somedimes, I '11 sell Dot 'mobubble ride veil Shoost fer gar-bodge ! 158 DIALECTIC BALLADS ZANI-DAIRY EF-FISH-UNCY Ef-fish-uncy now hash mate dis lant So vary zani-dairy ash t' be gwlte grandt ; Dey milks de kows mid pyzickle pumps, Und dyenomides trees " clean" oud dere sthumps. I dinks dese gloryus Unided Sthates Ish sthrickly yusht ride ub tu dates ; Ve gets ter dust after, unt dot durt Mid wackyum gleaners like grate sphurt. Ve haf bath-dubs in efery man's house To vosh himself mit, besites his spouse ; Der chillders, tew, dake dere daily svim, Vile pussies und buppies vill pudtle im. Garbage ve puts in pails midt lids Dat fall off swish ven dogs chace kids ; De sight off fish-heads moch mich gronk, Unt knocks der sphots vrom all mine sphunk. Der sthreets are swept oup mooch midt dust, Undt " whide-vings " help ter schrape de crust, Vile sphrinklers dey sphlash left unt rite — Sum peobles oil frondt roadts fer sphite ! 159 DIALECTIC BALLADS Der wawter Is fildtered frum ids mudt, Unt alum is meexed tu dhin der bloodt ; Dot germs vonce von didt trink und ead — Py gosh ! musht all gone get midt spheed. Polyticks, yah ! ef-lish-untly grows Graft 'bout unser zani-dairy nose; Der boss dot mosheens manages yedt — Fergess dass nicht, du kanst yetz bedt ! Ter butchers' meadts musht be froce sthiff So 't don't meldt off wid de furst biff; Und sossage 'nd puddens 'nd tripe Shood pe zani-dairy ash a schmoke-pipe. Yuse may vants tu know vot else iss Goot ven zani-dairy ? Dot kindt 's a kiss Midt a maitel hoos libps are wine redt Ash ribe roses at cheeks py her headt. Yu, alzo, may vants to findt oud von blan Ef-fish-unt, zani-dairy fer efery man. Och, du lieber ! Dot 's de fine offishuncy Ve 've godt olredty, ollygondt sowfeeshency I May r8, igi2 160 DIALECTIC BALLADS CULLUD WEDDIN' CHEER I 'se gwine ter tell yer w'at, Ase d' sun am shinen' hot, Happen' long 'go on dis spot Befo' de wah, in 'Ginny. Mammy cooks in cabin, Daddy keeps ah blabbin'. Big times dey 're hab'n Wid kinky piccuninny, Ruth cum heah frum weddin' ; Jis' feel lik' I 's tellin' How de kittle 's smellin' Wif de whites' possum. Jaspah, dat 's Ruth's husben' — Shu-ah, she did luvs 'im — Cum 'long, ase I druv 'em Hum fro' cullud pawson. Jule and Gawge, an' t' others, Eb'ry sister 'n brudders, Gadered 'roun' der mudder's An' fader's cabin door, 162 DIALECTIC BALLADS Roun' de table settin', De fam'ly jist all guessin' Wat 's tu foUer blessin' Fo' Gawd to sabe de po'r. W'ite fo'ks git dere turkey, Brack fo'ks tinks jis' murky; Possum dinnah 's jerky Fer niggah stummic's sake. Hoe cakes, 'lasses candy. Mixed wif 'Tucky brandy. Jis' cum in suh handy Ter gif uh belly-ache. But, boss, we wus jolly; Soon we shoutid, "Golly!' Danced de pain wif folly On woodin, polish' flo'r. De rain splash' at lo' windah, De fiah flung up sum cindah, De lightnin' struck hi' timbah; De stohrm — it tare 'nd tore ! 163 DIALECTIC BALLADS Den we shuffled closer, Sang ole hymns lik' Moser To tunes o' Heben ober, Till de sun he pop out I Mammy waltz wid daddy, Ruth 'nd Jasp. trip glad'y, Jule 'nd Gawge bob bad'y — De banjo strings dey shout i Jis' den neighbo' Ristus Gits right in wif Mistus, An' fo'ks dance *til blistus Bu'n soles ob wa'msom' feet. De banjo keeps a-toonin*, Jasp. an' Ruth am spooning An' de dawk eyes 're foolin* Ole and y'ung nigses, sweet. I tell yer, boss, dat dinna', Long 'go heah in 'Ginnah, T'eched my soul lik' sinna' At eb'ry step I take. 164 DIALECTIC BALLADS Wile de hot time lasted, Shua we diden't fasted, — Cloud' days dey wus blastid Fer dis fambly's sake. Now, boss, dat night d' w'iskey Mak' Ristus jis' to' frisky; Hit Mistus 'til she 's lispy An' don' plum' on de stobe. Jaspah grabs Ristus' collah, Choked 'im 'til he hollo' ; Gawge at de bof did folio'. Wile Mammy at 'em drobe. Sich mix-up, boss, I nevah Saince ma bo'n days 'd evah See wif coon squint, clevah — De cabin wus ah sight I We patch'd up wif mo' w'iskey; De banjo hinged so brisk'y 165 June i8, Tgi2 DIALECTIC BALLADS Till all de fo'ks fult crispy — Weddin' obah fo' de night ! Dat, boss, w'at did happen Ware Dixie dawg is yappin', Neah de brack cat nappin' At opin cabin doah. Dis chile feels lik' smilen', Wen weddin' cheer wus bilin' An' cullud chaps kap' pilen' 'Way up, befo' de wah 1 166 DIALECTIC BALLADS AB'S FILOSOFY AT TH' FOURTH Uv all th' days in each ding year, Ther 's none so blazin' like an' queer Ez Uncle's Fourth one in July — Gosh ! how its heated glories fry ! Them boys o' mine are all awake Afore old Sol his scorchers take ; An' you may bet yer boots, er mine, Them kids '11 cut up capers, fine ! Adeown the street, in Centre Square, At six er'clock, ter be quite fair, The city guards are shooten' guns — Hooray fer Lancasterian sons ! Sweet liberty we luv ter shout, Ther same our daddies bro't erbout ; An' sane er safe folks all agree Ez Uncle Sam should lightly spree ! 167 DIALECTIC BALLADS When bells begin to swing, at seven, Great gosh ! my heart is jest in heaven Ther' swells sech dear, delightful tunes Ter reach ter Mars er fer-off moons ! The fact'ry pipes the'r whistles blow, An', actu'lly, all the chickens crow ! Gee, whiz, the starry stripes do shake Fer Glory an' her luv'd lan's sake ! What next ? The Bands trip inter line An' drill jest down to Court House — shine- With red dress'd duds an' dangling drums- At eight er'clock the'r music thrums ! Then, out ther way to east end park, — Fer jest short stay from "Noah's Ark,"- Ther citizens and forei'n born Perceed ter pass the program morn ! The air is full o' "Country" song 'Round city streets from moven' throng; An' white er black, er young an' old, Injoy the fun to hev 'thought gold ! 168 DIALECTIC BALLADS Near high-time noon, 'fore hunger plays Her pranks on hosts with teasin' ways, John Smith he reads Decl'ration o'er Ez he hez done fer years afore ! The Summer sun is scorchen' hot, Ez watchers creep ter cooler spot, Ter scan slick riders passen' by, The'r jim-cracks gay at us ter fly ! The spoonen' swains soft soda sip, An' snick'rin' girls jest take the'r tip; 'Tiz glory gran' fer dame er dude— The Fourth is biz all ter the'r goode ! The day drags on, and evenin' shades Sweep slowly o'er the tow'rs an' glades ; While shinen' stars blend with the night Ter spend the'r share o' flick'rin' light ! Then what ? Ez sure ez Ab 's my name, While others might jest write this same. The rockets roar an' rush on high With Injun whoop, ter sweep ther sky ! 169 DIALECTIC BALLADS Ther 's nuthin' like this wind-up scene, — Its burstin' bombs spread on ther green; I jest kin tell, in simple words. Them sights 'mind me o' firey birds ! The soarin' things, like eagles, swirl Abov', aroun', b 'low, a - whirl ; — An' I jest think this countree 's gran' An' good, an' true enuf fer Man ! J7ily 4, i()i2 170 DIALECTIC BALLADS VEN IT'S DUTCH UND HALB DEUTSCH Ven I vas vonce a leedle poy — Faertsich yahr tsrick — I lofed tu blay mit moocha choy, Gar ewich dhick ! Ven I vent oud ter fishes gedt, Dass geht aw gute ; I sthick de eelses troo der hedt, Dass sei sich blute ! Ven I fell gwlte der vawter, brim, Gans tsu mein rick — I gwick sblash oup tu gif a svim Heraus dem grick ! Ven I ter home didt hopple, wet, Mit einem karl, I shlivers git, frum der Oldt Vet, Darauf am sthall ! 171 July 6, igi2 DIALECTIC BALLADS Ven I ter school-spodt vented tu, In Trei-seiben, I kiss't der maitels redt unt plue, Ueber un' ueben ! Ven I der deacher vas mich sendt, Ei, dieses sphass ! I veels so voollsh, unt so bent — Und tsimlich lass ! Ven I tu Phil'a Ceety goedt, Tsu Cen-den-niel I velt so pig ash Penn'a Roadt Durch oil dem sphell ! Ven I dose sighds yusht tooked in, Recht gute und gans, I hadt tu redchester widhin : "Heinrich X Hans." 172 DIALECTIC BALLADS THE PIANO MAN'S TALE Meest' man, I talk a-much 'Tal-ian, Trav'l lot 'bout place with-a pi-an' ; Da pi-an'-man From Lan-cas-tran : In-a da State call' Penn-syl-van' — Some time I sell bunch-a ba-nan' ! Week-a day I meex-a mac-aron' With spaget' meal at-a me throne ; Da wooman drone Her help-a shown ; She feed-a da monk free bit-a bone- Dls-a way we keep so sweet-a tone ! Da music I mak'-a each day Ees-a all right, da have-a say ; De pi-an' play Ever' which way; An' for mon-a I lik'-a to stay — De gal she help-a to get dis, gay 173 DIALECTIC BALLADS We liv'-a near da fact'ry road, An' push-a pi-an' lik'-a da load Ees-a in da "mode," As she 's-a towed, In sun-a warm, or-a winter co'd, When da city ees-a vera snowed. Some man he call-a me da joke, An' at-a me fun-a da poke ; Say pi-an' note Smell lik'-a goat ; I call-a police to geef-a stroke To help-a me work-a free yoke. Da wooman an' me take our pi-an' Up Ches'nut Street-a, Lan-cas-tran ; We turn-a han' At op'ra gran', An' grin'-a tune — beat-a big ban' — All to please-a beesa 'Mer-'can I July 6, igi2 174 DIALECTIC BALLADS IN SIGHT Dot 's de tunes ve hear ef'ry tay — Oudsites der house ve haf ter blay ; De poys are yusht in Mutter's roadt Like hundt, katz, or alt nonny-goat. Ess mocht nix aus Vich vay vone turn, Der poss dot house 'S insite ve learn ! Ven d' vrisky kidts hike tu der woodts Der ailent 's lowse — mooch mischeef-moods Brompts dem tu grawl ride oup pig drees, Unt sthir sum bizness mit der bees. Oudsite der hifves Ish sveetly calm ; Insite, dose lifves Sthing like — balm ! Ven skule 's der rule fer gurls unt poys — Sveet sixteen sthuff, fillt oup mit joys — 'S is alles recht Voss dey dit, dumb ; Der deacher stheckt Insite, py gom ! 175 DIALECTIC BALLADS Der wedtin' pells kan preak der gwiet Vrom silonce oudt tu laffs insidet ; Der breacher dakes dot dollar fife Pefore you 're gans gute mon unt vife. Yedt, nefer mindt Dis bleasant pill — Bredicher 's kindt — Insite— halt sthill ! De mooter-'n-coort kums niftily next Der huney-worlt insite t' ferhext ; Poor Chon un' Moll, or Sue unt Choe Shu'd net vergess dis hart der show. I shoost beleef It 's nun vitch vay — Soonce Atum un' Efe Voss bilt uf glay ! At Owgoost munth, ven it ish hodt, "At home" may pe your marrit lodt ; Tree-munt' Gretchie, mit 'r plue eyeses, Disdurbs your shleeps py redt cryses — Kix lidtle leeks Mit bubbly prite, Shoost ter you vex "At home," insite ! 176 DIALECTIC BALLADS Grand-volks, vonce ledters rote mit quills, Den stheel-mate pens reblaz'd dose ills; Der laidest lucks'ry, off der weldt, Iss typeride's shlick tu moch uns gelt, Unt pring uns sthrife At offese chair — Ven votchfool vife Oudsite gits dere ! De urth hash lodts off fryndshafft, shure, Vrom botched boobs tsu Simon bure ; Der ownly bodder 'bout svell beoples Ish, dey croddle oup tsu hoch stheeples. Ven dot 's enuf Outsite, im air, Dey gifs a shuff Insite, fer brayer ! July 27, /gi2 177 DIALECTIC BALLADS SAWFT-BILED AIGS When Dad eets sawft-bile' markut aigs, At mowrning meel orn eech born daye, He mowst alwus kums tue (an' baigs) Mam ter cleen hiz nailses uv claye — Brite yaller claye At hiz fingurs, 'Til it 's wosht 'waye — No mowr lingurs ! Mam, she 's a burd fer b'iled aigs, And eets hurs from thu nat'rul shell ; She sits sow strate that (oh!) tew laigs A-help ter hold hur hieness swell — Yit, yaller yoke Drops deown hur dress Ez if ter joak — Hur waiste caress ! 178 DIALECTIC BALLADS Now, Tummy is a fonny runt Tue munkey with rich b'iled frute ; An' soe he slathers aigs in frunt Hiz faice, an' hed, an' hands tue boote, Thu yaller jooce Is a grate site — Well — wot 's ther use — Tummy 's shoor rite ! Siss, she is stuck sum on 'er sellf, An' flurts hur aigs in finust stile ; Fergets tha 're thin, like hur bo's pelf. An' flops thu sawft things daown ther 'ile. Sich yaller stuff Yer never seed ; — Mam 's orf in-a huff, At sawft- (?)-bile'-speed ! Augtist 17, igi2 179 DIALECTIC BALLADS GANUNK UND TSU VIEL A dahl leit deen spahrsom essa, Weil onra sie viel muss fressa — So geht die welt Von hunger snellt. Sin karls kan drinka mit fersthand- Kumrada soufa wie verflamt. August 26, igi2 August 26, jgi2 DEUTSCH FAR DICH Das Pennsylvanisch Deutsch Es sthimt vum auslandt Schweitz ; Mit yusht pahr odt wahta 'Mixt far leit tsu sodta. Ich denk es macht nix aus Wass recht iss ueber d'raus; Mer kenna schwetza latz Im 'Merikanisch platz. 180 DIALECTIC BALLADS DAT MEEKSOM' MUHL som' compahrisons De muhl 's ah mos' meeksom' creetah,- He jis' a-cotch mah eye; Eb'ry time I seed dat faice, 'Deed I — I t'Ink his grace Shuah is tu help mah cry ! De hoss am de w'ite fo'kses frien',— He 's jis' a-kep' dat way; Dey rubs a-daown 'is back An' race 'im roun' ah track — Pestahs his laigs all day ! De muhl am uh lonesome' lam',— He 's jis' sweet lik' ah sheep ; Calc'late his bes' bisnass Brings ca'm tu d' w'ite sinna's, When he w'acks 'em in a-heap :z De Chursey cow, I so't o' 'low, Looks lik' she 's cheersom', tew; But, 'deed, she 's jis' ah caow. An' eats cohn lik' ah saow, Ase ah muhl woo'd nevah do I 181 DIALECTIC BALLADS De muhl, deah fo'ks, 's no fool ; He can hoi' up his hopes Lik' ah club, wid his tail, Wen his hoofs hits de rail — He 's hustlah at sich lopes ! De carf an' de y'ung skittish colt, 'Spec' dey 're orn dis job; But dey am tew childish, Wile growin' up suh wildish, An' dey don' 'arn no cob ! De muhl am peacabul an' tame, If he 's jis' lef ase boss — Dat 's de niggah style ; He cuts ah figguh, w'ile Dar 's no fuss ter loss ! August 26, igi2 182 DIALECTIC BALLADS JOSH'S INSPIRATION Them draowsy poets alwus say Thet dope they 'rite is soe inspired ; Gosh, daown in our ol' farmin' way Sich talk we swat at it all-fired ! We gin'rally size ther fellers sum — The'r hayr, the'r ayes, the'r hands, the'r eers- An', cracky ! them pearts seem ser dum' That I, fer me, fer them hev fears ! This inspirashun fad 's no good Fer beast er man, fer them thet dreem — Thu thing ter doe is : Go, saw wood An' then ye '11 kno' jest what 's my scheme Git up, right on, ter hones' wurk. An' hoe, an' dig, an' scrape ther farm — Yis, "darn" them dreemful times yer shirk, Ez toilen 's nev'r goin' t' yer harm ! 184 DIALECTIC BALLADS Wall neow, I he'rd from naybor Jake, A poet wurks with hiz swell hed ; — Thet 's new ter me, an' I '11 jes' take Back sum ther' words I may hev sed ! Yer see, thet if a man duz shuv' Hiz hed az hard ez hiz strong hands — I kin respeck him fer hiz luv' Fer wurk — them words fer Poet stands ! It makes ner diff. jest haow tiz dun' — This worken' bizness thro' the yeer — Jest soe the swet gits on ther run An' keeps a-body kind o' cleer ! The lazy jays thet doe not wurk — Them is the Ikes I 'd like ter reech ; Sech inspirashun thet thay shirk, I 'd squar'ly strike an' fa'rly teech ! AugKSt 28, I()T2 185 DIALECTIC BALLADS YIP LUEY'S CHOP SUEY His name It was Yip Luey, He kept a swell Chop Suey And fed Chinese, for boarders, all the day; While he lodged 'em, too, at night, for pay. His chops came in real handy To chaps who were Jim-dandy — American chaps: Mongolian chops. A laundry man, Sam Hooey, Who lathered " much-a bluie To help-a wash le clo's sometlime all lite An' make le colla' look-a shliny blite ;" This son of th' midnight Sun " Smoke-a litlee balls o' gun" — Black opium, " Just fo' le fum." At night Sam H., with money, Went to Yip L., so sunny; They took their dreamy dopes, like dragon flies, Till all around them aped great ogre eyes ; The sights thro' smoke grew hazy And made them sort o' lazy — Somewhat mazy. Not quite crazy. 186 DIALECTIC BALLADS When in waltzed Johnny Smith — Chop Suey was his "disth" — And ordered Yip to yank this for him, quick, Which Looey flung at Smithy like a brick. Then 'twas "hell Columkey," Happy land — well, d-drunky— And Johnny Smith Planked their pith. Three cops came in a hurry, They did n't even worry To have Yip Luey take along his hat; Sam Hooey, too, was handled as a rat. John Smith paid for his plunges, And Yip and Sam their lunges Meekly squared — And then stared ! August JO, rg/2 187 DIALECTIC BALLADS SAY, AMB Y'U AH SAINT? I 'm jis' a-goin' tu arsk y'us-ah, Som' stubf abowt y'ur hones' sins : 'Kase dat abway I kno's how tuh Gaige y'u, shu-ah, Reech uh poo-ah, So 's no saint 'scapes, on world'y win's. Brudder Bunsing, war am dat fowbl ? Quit y'u jukin' at dis quesh'n ; Yer 's no moh feit tu pi'usly prowl 'Roun' in de dawk, Ob Torkey Pawk, Den poss heah fo' pastah's blessin'. Y'ur hed draps deown tu y'ur ole knees — Yo' y'unges' sins I 'specs t' f rgib. Sistah Bunsing, amb yo' de cheese Cooks de chickun So she 's sickun Yo' saintly hub ? Now, ple'se don' fib ! Dat 's ah lady ! Brudder Wash-ton, Yo' sinnah — yo 's yaller wif paint F'om ah stohr-howse. Jurk dose Bawston Bakensom' beens A-out yo' jeans — 'Polergise fo' steelen ase ah saint. 188 DIALECTIC BALLADS Dem beens' jis' hel' fo' de brack poah, Wid ah 'lowance fo' pastah's home. Sistah Wash-ton, amb yo' mos' shuah D' moke Wash-ton No mo' Bawston Bakens hab fo' breckfus' ham-bome ? T'ank yo', sistah, fo' yoh 'fesh'un ; Yo' amb bettah saint dan Mars' Wash, Brudder Bones, w'at 's de perfesh'un Gibs yo' silk hat, Suh spick 'n' spat ? Yo' loans it f'om gent, at Oshkosh ? — Wus bes' nig. at big weddin' day ? Tu be ah saint, yo' da'sent flam ; Dat 's nex' tu graft'n. Jis' 'gin tu pray. Sistah Bones, Don' yo' gro'nes, — I '11 jis' lit up on y'u lak ah lam'. I seed de fo'ks is gittin' aout Dis chu'ch at de souf-wes' en'. Haelp us, bredrun an' sistern, shaout Fo' de glowry O' Gawd's sto'ry ! All saintly-sinnahs say, A-men ! September 6, igi2 189 DIALECTIC BALLADS 'LIGION AN' POLOTICKS DON' MIX I undahstan' de Barptis' bredrun, 'deed,- Dey hab a blessed 'ligion fo' ah creed ; But poloticks Jis' don' mix Wif de Lawd, Or 'is Gawd ; An' dey mus' kape it f'om de chu'ch, Ailse it wuU br'ak dere 'ligi'us purch. I hyard de Medowdis' hab got Ah chyor dat am paid pow'ful lot ; But poloticks Play sach tricks Wif som' fo'ks — Shady mokes — Dat shoo'd be awbful good an' prim, Not sing fo' waygers mo' tuh skim. 190 DIALECTIC BALLADS De 'Piscopuls jis' put ah preachah Inside dar chu'ch, a-hi'-price teachah ; But poloticks — Wif big sticks — Am dar, tew, Lik' ah stew; An' it shuffles hot-stubf might'ly, 'Kase it cos' mo' tu kape rightly. De Chu'ch, fine fren's, wif its sinnahs An' saints, hab b'en a-holy winnahs ; But poloticks Ple'se Ole Nix; Bad fo' Lawd, Or 'is Gawd, — No good fo' dis worl' or de nex' ; In fac', it flops jis' on dis tex'. Septcviher 8, igi2 191 DIALECTIC BALLADS WHY WRITE "WORSES"? A German friend, who "meant it well," Ask'd me, awhile ago, to tell The reason why I wrote " sich stuff" As "worses," — for he had enough Of " dem tings dat von duzen't neet, Ash dey vas goot fer nix ter eadt." To please this festive Teuton chap, I, here and now, produce some "pap" — A Deutscher dish, with "leffel gross," To fill his belly "wie ein loase"; I '11 give him "brote," and "beer far darsht," Some "kase," and "kraut," and " lever-wurst," — Big " schnitz und knepf," or " fetta spheck," With "eats" made "worse"— per " deifel's dreck !" October 7. Tgi2 192 DIALECTIC BALLADS AT DA FRUIT- A -STAN' Me haf da good-a, beeg banan* O, at ma cheap-a fruit-a stan', Fo' cent-a peece ; Me roas' da ches'nut vera hot, All day, fo' mon-a at dis spot — T'ank you, pleese ! Me lof-a meex fun wit' 'Merican foke, Me show-a dis way Italian joke — You un'erstan' ? Me loog-a beet lik' dusky Dago, Me eat-a spaget' an' da sago In Lancas-tran ! Me keep-a reech gol up street fo' wurk To mak-a som' meal, to beat-a Turk; — What 's ma name ? Well-a, good mon, me 's Meest' Loprest, An' da wooman ees Mees' Hidrest — Ees n't dat-a shame ! 193 DIALECTIC BALLADS Me got-a watch da leetal boy, He much-a me evair annoy; He grab-a peanut An' ovair da track he run-a — Mak' vera too fool-a fun-a, Lik' Jeff-a Mutt ! Me Hk' sell grape In United State, Pennsylvan'-a, Lancas-tran, great; Heap-a fine fruit, Lik' appal, o' plum, oringes sweet; Aprecot, feeg, bananos — beeg treat- So vera goot ! Me stay dis place tal tan o'clock, When-a da trade ees get-a slack ; Da "chinq-a sol' " Soon-a don' shine, fo' fruit-a meat ; An' me shut-a stan' — macaron' to eat Wit' ma sleek gol ! October /g, igi2 194 DIALECl^IC BALLADS L'AT'S ALL LITE About the centre of each week, Throu'out the winding year, We leave some hnen with Lee, meek, Lone Chinese washman, queer; And while the collars he will take, Lee mildly chuckles, for our sake, "L'at's all Hte!" Lee rips a red slip in two parts. Keeps half, gives us torn mate. And, then, walks back to ply his arts In laundry work, till late; While, as we go and say we '11 call On Sat'day 'gain, wry Lee's words fall "L'at 's all lite!" On Satur'-eve we wend our way Once more to Lee's wash-shop ; Limp checks pass twain— we hand his pay- Three collars to us drop ; 195 DIALECTIC BALLADS Perhaps a shirt or two doth "stun"; Which Lee says, " L'ey are bella done, " L'at 's all lite ! " Between some drafts of stupid dope, Lee slides in more red checks From patrons standing 'fore fum'd cope- These strive to tease or vex — But nary bad phrase bothers Lee, He always greets stale puns in glee : "L'at's all lite!" November 2, igi2 196 DIALECTIC BALLADS SEEIN' THINGS Say ; d 'ye ever see spot Others per'aps could not ? Well, that is jes' poss'ble — Altergether tol'rble — And this 's the way it might be did — Whenev'r y'er looks under right lid — Y'er "left" a fly Light on y'er eye, And — and — my — my ! Did n't y'er cry ? Jes' 'cause y'er — y'er — nigh did "See things" askew eye-lid. Say, hosts, you have seen things At night, in bed, with wings. After late Thanksgivin' Spent in great, rank livin' ? All this came from hot pie — it did — And turkey, too, trot forth from lid. Y'er eat and eat The minced meat. The fat pig's feet. The custard, sweet — Jinks ! Y'er seen' em, dreamin' — y'er did- Divils a-dancin' o' the lid ! November 28, 1912 197 DIALECTIC BALLADS FRESH PAINT This daye, down streete, y'er smells fresh paint; Indeed, tiz soe ; jes' sure now, ain't? Gaunt index fingur o' y'er right han' Goes frunt ter feel bright color, gran' ; An' what Hap then ? Y'er smile, er bile an' blame sum chum — All but y'erself, fer bein' ser dum' 'S ter put y'er han', az poker dire, Int' stuff that sticks like stokers' fire — Yet doe 'T agen ! This eve, up towne, y'er scents new paynte, The sorte that 's pict'red on pale sainte By artist's payste, ser pure an' suite — Y'er part 's ter tutch er taste this treate ; An' then What hap ? Y'er slink awaye like sneekin' thiefe, Becores y'er cum ter weepin' griefe — She sez yu 'r mutch ter fresh fer hur, An' hits y'er heade an' calls y'er cur; She duz — Slap, tap ! December 7, igi2 198 DIALECTIC BALLADS DER COURT HOUSE BARPER BLATZ Dose harpers py der gross Court House In Lengeshter; — boof ! gudt, dose karls Ish on der chobs ; dey schrapes der snouse Pelow mine schmells, klose tsu mine halse, Midt lodts uf sthyle ! " You 'r schnext," dey shoudt, besites schvell sdool A loyyer stheps noch mich, in blatz — Unt zoon a braedicher 's neckst, py rule, In dritter sitz. Der barper's trate ish lots Tsu blease hish schmile ! Der poss dot blace ish gans recht gute Midt dose ladther ont shafe, unt friz ; Andt, frents, fine feelinks sthir dass blute Ash he mine fiz oop gleans, like biz Dot 's vort' von's vile ! 199 DIALECTIC BALLADS He chokes midt mich 'bout wridin' " Dutch," Den gwlck rercites som Harbaugh rimes ; — Ach ! budt it hellps mine thinks ter clutch Dose glassic halls uv Harby's dimes Vay town life's ile ! Der udder harpers midt der poss Ish full uf funs; dey lofes light worse Unt gifs a spiel, in prose, ter toss Avay der plues, or placks, in hurse, Andt bu'st badt bile ! I creets 'em oil, der short, der tall ; Dose harpers bray, vile dey yush' schrape Ter schnoots uf gay or grafe mens, all ; Der brice ish shoost alike — dey dake U. S. chink in file ! I like dose argyments ter hear Vot beoples dink unt swetz, und lach In hartzig vay. Der harper, near, He 's in der midt, crate spass tsu moch ; Unt rups hoar-ile — 200 DIALECTIC BALLADS 'Roun' mine skating rink, on top, high, Tsu help der sphrouts grow oudt von bidt,- Der sthuft smocks ve Katrine, so shly ; I dinks I sees her, billich buildt, Midout ein guile ! Zumdimes I hears de harper's hartz Is bissly hat ; yah, dot 's halb drue ; Net hat ve hardt, yusht hot in blatz Ve warumer bedt fer mich or doo. Rose redt midt schmile ! Dem harpers py der pig Court House In Lengeshter ; — woof ! himmel, lieb ; Dere on der sphot ter shafe, unt snouse Midt dark vorries, porn in treem shleep- Dey boosts ten mile ! December 7, 1^12 201 DIALECTIC BALLADS HANS MICHEL'S LOCH Es iss an platz im Hempfield, noch, Dass hallt sein altes nauma ; 'S twishig hivela ordlich hoch, Un guckt wie Sweitzlandt trauma ; F'r fertzig yahr war Ich a-weck Fun dieses haemlich weldta, Un, glaub m'r, yetz, 's namlich dreck Swembt ivver die stein feldta. Wass iss der nauma fun dem, doch ? Wei, yusht gans blain, Hans Michel's Loch. Der Michel Hans iss im letsht shlofe, 'S erstes haus ist now nim mehr; Neu bawra wohnt als bei grum hofe, Un shafft dass eck wie alters, sahr ; Die keshta baem sin noch tsu handt, Un swartza ba'ra aw, so gute ; Weil bloema, schoe, wax im sandt landt Mit wilt kersha, wein f'r Deutsch blute. M'r ken't fiel sawga im sell sproch, Dass schwetzt war om Hans Michel's Loch. December to, igi2 202 DIALECTIC BALLADS STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN ! Ven Ich mich votch dot raleroadt town, Ter sees der drains drot indoo down, Dere 's von sign 's nod missen' : She 's " Sthop, Loog und Liss'en." Fell ! Ich gwick sthop Schnell ; mine eyes trop, Und den loog — Votch en' goog — List^nun' — Whistlun' ! Ven Ich mich votch dot inchines cum Ride oop, ter plotch dose steem-shines, sum, Kosh ! she gomes klose, kissen' ; Josh ! hur gum hose 's hissen' — Moch mich oud-look ! Sthup Ich 'boudt, gook ! — De veels sthop — Ve fiels ? Pop ! Sissun' — Lissun' ! 204 dialectic ballads And Lunch ! Ven Ich mich hunt rine essen platz, Vot iss im londt bi'me fressen, lotz, Von sign's fer dis bunchen: He's "Sthop, Loog und Lunche'n." Kum ! doe Ich sthup Zoon ; mine eyes sthuff Vill now see — Moul, brow' bree — Lunche'n Crunchen' ! Ven Ich mich hunt stein Icittles, hodt, Ter vayter handts mine mittles, lodt Uf fleisch, kraut, spheck. He gooken — Uch ! greisch a-weck, gute cooken' ! Hoch jinks ; loss moonch Doch dings, Dutch loonch ! Ich vull sthop ; Dich full crop, Punchen' Lunche'n ! January lo, rgrj 205 DIALECTIC BALLADS DIE GROSA FRESSA DIE KLEINA UF Du kanst gans grawd den das erglaube — Gern voll Ich der ebbas sawga — Die grosa karls fiel hova mus, Sic sthrovela weit far oil, gewus. Die welt dawg unt nacht Is biszy — Far gelt grawpt sie ; schlacht sie diszy Swoch, kleina leit ; far es nem't lotz Im oily tseit bey 'm fetta platz. Dick fish im sae dien fiel fressa — Ken ruh hen sie, sot sich essa — Ein kleina fish mocht wennich bree Far gros'r bouch seim swemlich sphree. So geht's aw, dem landt durich — Im sthore, stadt, koort ; yah, kuerich — Wo gute sthufft ist; yetz glaub, wohl oof; D' grosa fressa die kleina uf ! January t8, igij 206 DIALECTIC BALLADS VALUABLE THINGS COME IN SMALL SMALL PACKAGES Uch ! gute sthufft von duz hears ! — Dose kindt vot geefs grose cheers — Dutch mood prings pack sutch dings Short volks vas shoudts und sings : Der schveet bundtles Haf schmall hondtles ! Yah ! mer findts dem bure purls Mit shells pink, like shae gurls ! Der chems ain't pig; budt reech, Eef glae, tsu brize ash eech. Dese leedle dings Haf chewel vings ! January 24, igij 207 DIALECTIC BALLADS SUM "ISMS" Fer yeers ther 's bin mos' pequlyar Isms ; Sum tribes hev hel' qu'ar, eereg'lar Schisms. Yit sum jist 'ply ile, troolyar — Chrisms — Ez planes 'fleet brite, spectack'lar Prisms ! Sum giv squar' deel ter odd Truisms ; Yit sum jes' feel fer God, Deisms ; Wile ther 's yit sum's zeal t' prod Theisms ; An', bless thar souls, sum gits Bapt-isms ! Yis, we 've purty purtick'ler T I ! Isms ! Ter pierce blue sky, er plunge Abysms j . Yit, still they cum, Ter spill us sum : 208 DIALECTIC BALLADS Altruism — aphorism — barbarism^ — cabalism — Criticism — egotism — euphemism — euphuism — Heroism — hypnotism — mesmerism — mysticism - Nepotism — organism — occultism— optimism — Pantheism — pessimism — plagiarism— radicalism- Realism — socialism — somnambulism— stoicism- - Syncretism — vandalism — vulgarism — witticism — Sum anachronism — yit malthusianism ! ! ! ! March 15, [913 209 DIALECTIC BALLADS "LET 'ER FLICKER" Ted Jones, he alwus 'joyed 'is drink; Sed ut did 'im good — made 'im think; In Summer, ut ninety, he tuk A hummer reg'lar, by the buk, 'Fore meel-time, uv brandy-likker ; — His shout With evenin' cum, "Let 'er flicker!" Day out Ted Jones never bumped int' bed 'Fore 's bottle, each nite, he sped ; In Winter, ut zero, he tuk A squinter — ez hero fer spuk 'Fore sleep-time — sum handy likker; — His song With dreemin' cum, "Let 'er flicker !" So long Ted Jones' drinkin' kep' up 'is life With gay thinkin' spells — an' gray wife Who seldum — Summer, Winter — tuk Her 'elldom close Ted, 'cept tu cuk. An' git 'is meels, quick ez likker; — His thirs' Ut las' hit wheels, ("Let 'im flicker!") In hurse April rg, rgij 210 DIALECTIC BALLADS TEARIN' DOWN AN' BUILDIN' UP These dizzie days thar 's kwite a craze Ter tear oV heouses deown ; An' bizzie Jays jest fite ter raze Tu groun' low, thread-bar' teown. They sw'ar er glare ; Yis, dar' ter tear Glum, stale shacks deown Fer sum hale teown. These shovin' ways, ter build, amaze Fo'ks ter-day, goin' up; Fer, 'bove 'm stays er Babel haze Ter grey thar' glowin' cup. Fresh air iz thar' — Yis, fair ez star — Yit 's high, fur up Flesh-fry ter sup ; Wile, tearin' up, when buildin' teown, Ther bestest pup 's a-wearin' deown. April 26. H)rj 211 DIALECTIC BALLADS A-BUYDE MIDT MICH Huch ! yuse hafun't dime ter reat Mine wersickuls, tew-tay ? Ruke eesy; wee '1 nod cheet ; Py grenk, dere doe tsu sthay ! Eef dese leerix do n't soote, Yusht yit, kix mer kein boote; Bleese vate avile ; budt lach Midt mich — schmile, buy mine sach ! March 29, igij 212 DIALECTIC BALLADS NOTES The intrinsic beauty, or merit, of any lyric lies in its musical rhythm and limpid measures; all lines and groupings being co-related to one another. Dia- lect should be interpreted with spirited freedom, and read aloud whenever pos- sible. Literary clubs and educational circles ever enjoy animated personal read- ings from authors, since the latter bring out those varied tones required in sense- ing clearness to the topic in hand. Pages 155-160. — The German's English has many strange sounding words and humorous combinations of phrases. "Dot Belly," while treated in the first person, gives impressions gained from different Lancaster individuals. "Mine Automobubbles" was written by request of a good city neighbor, after he had taken writer on an adventurous spin to a native heath at Landisville. "Zanidairy Effishuncy" sends forth a "funny" public flash at so-called purity and modern cleanliness. Pages 162-166. — This cheerful epic is first attempt of author at depicting "col- ored" life "befo' de wah." Part of these impressions were a-witnessed by writer, at Rohrerstown, Pa., about 1869, during Fall-time revivals of a yellow- hued negro family, then living near the old public school grounds. Former Southern friends and relatives were on hand, joyously singing and praying as in their masters' lowly cabin homes. Pages 167-170. — This sketch of a Fourth of July in Lancaster is clothed in Brother Jonathan's language, as style best suited to the rhythmic the;ne. Pages 171-172 — Partly personal ; though much more descriptive of that period Pages I7;i-i74. — This tale, well as one printed on pages 193-4, is genuinely typ- ical of Italian characters the author has noticed near his home. Pages 175-177. — An "inside" story with a .straight-away moral attached. Pages 178-179. — Suggestive, indeed, of yellow marks left at family breakfast served with Lancaster County soft-boiled eggs. Pages 181 -182. — The mule and negro are a most curious duality, with elements of humor as free from guile, yet prompt in purpose, as of any combination the writer can conceive. Pages 184-185. — Poets maybe inventive dreamers; but if their thrift brings results, whether of cash, courage or cheer, are not their luteful lines from hopeful lives "worth while"? Pages 186-187. — A Chinese ballad, with a blunder or two biffed in, to bestir a chop suey and keep several occupants awake. Tages 188-191. — For practical application of ordinary religious truths, few can excel the "cullud pastah "; and the author lets him speak out in no uncertain admon- tion, so as to be easily understood by "de w'ite fo'ks," well as "de brack." Pages 199-201. — Dedicated to Rohn's barber shop, now conducted by Mr. Duing. The author purposely spells German words, at times, as "dey ish sphoke," liereabout. Page 202. — Hans Michel's Loch is charmingly located, at the base of several hills be- tween Rohrerstown and Centreville ; the author possessing not a few photographs of its sloping, Swiss-like prospect. Pages 204-205. — "Stop, Look and Listen " is thoroughly original and indicative of locality at P. R. R. depot, Lancaster; and the writer requests its earnest recital. Pages 206-207. — Two old-time common sayings, with Dutchified clarification. Pages 208-209. — There seem to be almost as many "isms" about this world, as stars in the space above us ; and they do keep right on a-twinkling, as God's centuries come and go. Let each heart withal be happy, without wasteful worry. Page 211. — The new Brunswick, Lancaster's first sky-scraper, brought forth the trite thoughts incorporated into "Tearin' Down and Buildin' Up." 214 TRILLS AND FRILLS Lancaster Lyrics HEADACHE AGAIN! The tricky thing is here — Worse than ever before ! It always feels so queer With thumping pains galore My head, it whirls and whirls ! My brains roll 'round and 'round- Hair straight, bias, then curls — No peace can there be found. I wish that I were well ; I hate this headache, sure ; It hurts so much, I can 't tell The base stuff from what 's pure Pull — stretch — bumpty a-bump ! That is the way it goes ! Things all jog, and then jump From crown, to crest of nose. 217 TRILLS AND FRILLS I dread to eat a dinner — My effort brings faint groan ; Am sick like sad sinner — Ay, sore into each bone. I wish — I think I do — Forgive the wretched thought — That some lean, mean old shrew This pinching pain had caught ? Betwixt these twirls and twists. And bing, and bang, and bore — It aches down to my wrists — I now can write no more. June 20, igo5 D. B. L. 218 TRILLS AND FRILLS MARY HAD— Yes, Mary "had" a little man, And he was flush and fat ; And ev'rywhere that she could plan. Her hub went, too, quite pat. Now, Mary was a suffragette. Of thin views she did quake ; And when her man began to fret About her fads, she " spake." She spake so much, where'er she went, That hubby got the "pips"; And to ye "bug-house" he was sent To pass in checks and chips. So Mary, then, had fulsome sway And trotted forth to knock All other men, who chanc'd her way, From off "bad" earth, by shock. She shocked them all, both short and tall. Then shock'd herself, for change — And now she rests, "in peace," so small That none her place can range. March ii, igi2 219 TRILLS AND FRILLS HELP THE HOBBLES Hey, there ! Have you beheld latest hobbles ? Well, now, Here go the girlies, with wobbles ! Say, Clare, How about your op'ra goggles ? Do n't bow So much at the female toggles ! Is n't it A shame to span their thin stockles So tight That dudes duck down dopey noddles ! And flit After flirts with skirts in mottles, — Just quite Upset, you bet, 's empty bottles ! Help the hobbles — Whelp the wobbles — Grip the goggles — Trip the toggles — Stick the stockles — Nick the noddles — Muss the mottles — Bu'st the bottles— S'nuff Sedd! Febriiary 20, igi2 220 TRILLS AND FRILLS POETRY FS. POULTRY A metric maker of verses, rare, Whose choice compositions Reach'd diverse editions, At times his purse found thin as air- And his pleasing poetry Ceas'd to purchase poultry. A skillful genius of his day Soar'd he, in rhymic haze, — Set Hyperion ablaze ; — Yet, withal worthy, living lay. His own idyl'c poetry Fail'd to furnish poultry ! A rural kinsman kept a farm In trust, for future years ; — He left for further spheres ; — Lean poet felt this changeful charm ;- Produced plumpest poultry, Prolific, like poetry 1 221 TRILLS AND FRILLS A better epoch edg'd along ; Chickens added treasure; Each imagined measure Was full and sweet with winning song, Since abundant poultry Paid for bard's poetry ! July ;j. igi2 222 TRILLS AND FRILLS "THIRTEEN" Let 's quote this Number " 13," lest We "qualm" the other num'rals, true; The rest of figures bear free test — When folks belate "thirteen" till blue The cat may come with kitties, cute. And you begin to count all heads — "Thirteen" youngsters just ripe to shoot As soon as you can swipe their beds ! The maid you told to start a fire In kitchen stove at your new flat. Arrived "Thirteenth" o' June, to hire. An' fired too much — was fired for that The milk-man came one morning, late. While you were 'way. Your money change Left at door steps, "thirteen" cts. straight, Left with a tramp soon out of range ! 223 TRILLS AND FRILLS A cousin calls from country side, " Thirteen" unlucky miles away; He catches chicken-pox. Your pride 'S choked because he has to stay ! Guv'nor sets big date for certain Tricks boun' to win, or surely lose, — The "thirteenth" day of May 'n '13,— To drink white water or brown booze ! This "thirteen" biz 's old 's the hills. Because at thirteen ninety-three Christo. Columbus caught no chills Awaiting fourteen-nine-two t' see ! And, later on, in seventy-six, July " 13" was a bum date To send the tories all to sticks — A 4 was put upon Sam's slate ! The birthday of dear, honest Line. And Washy's, too, in each fine Feb., Would hoodooed be while at the brink Of "thirteenth" day, at its low ebb ! 224 TRILLS AND FRILLS Smart suffragettes should be a-spurtin', That Congress does not end their din The "thirteenth" month of sour '13, And spill their "spiel" to sweetly win! Those Thirteen shoes are not too big For Windy City girls to wear; The noise they make, in dancing jig, Can always crack Chicago's air ! The thirteen stars of thirteen States Were lucky starters for us all; They figur'd fine, in Yankee dates, And safely bro't good luck, quite tall ! I see that now I 've rattled down Or up, just thirteen verses, queer; I '11 vie to freeze you with a frown At thirteen ghosts "saw" here, "next" year .-i/fgl/sf 24, 1(^12 225 TRILLS AND FRILLS ALL ON ACCOUNT OF A COMMA Aft Shakespeare quit this spheric stage A-long ago, in his high time, Some faulty folks found a strange page Among ye prose of poet's rime; And, in a trice. They trac'd odd flaw With Shake's advice — Whose Will did awe ! His " second best bed," you all know. He left, by paper, to his wife ; And this scant 'lowance 'gan to grow Somewhat like unto public strife. The mean old muse Was " in it," then. For female 'buse — And from "just" men ! 226 TRILLS AND FRILLS For scores and scores of later years The scholar-critics tried to prove That WilHam was the prop of peers In classic and most classy groove; Yet, that " second Best bed" stuck forth As fate 's reckon'd, From south to north ! The writer now wafts this new claim, To clear black sky of Shaky's "will" Comma back of "second," was his aim- But, he forgot to place quaint quill Right then and there. To give his best Bed, second, square. In that bequest ! August //, igi2 227 TRILLS AND FRILLS THERE IS NO HUMOR IN HIM Many — oh, yes — many a time, I 've heard this pessimistic chime : " There is no humor in him." Let 's see ; You say, in him no humor sails ; His purse, his head, his heart just ails — Dries up the humor in him. Ha, he ! There is a man of mum renown, Who makes his home in Funs-own-town, Yet has no humor in him. Why so ? The sight of fun swats at his nerve ; He can 't smile at its furzy curve ; It frazzles humor in him. Ho, ho ! 'T is said, there was a gentle-mam Once took a-hold of six-year ram, With his thick humor in him, For fun. 228 TRILLS AND FRILLS She got it, sure; so did ram-sheep; The latter gent, stood top that heap, Kept all slick humor in him, And won ! A tale is told of Mister Blank, Whose tho't of life was awful rank; He had no humor in him ; 'Twas lost. He stood each night and slept, all bent. To save his bed, or paying rent; No sense of humor in him. That "cost!" An Englishman has no real use For humor without any U's — Which stretch the humo//r in him, Rawther ! Pat, Irish naybor, oynly schmiles Widh Y's and H's, sphoke in foin sthyles, Thaht sthop no huomor in him. Bawther ! A chicken thief came 'fore a judge Sedate and stern, who wouldn't budge; These was no humor in him — Just law ! 229 TRILLS AND FRILLS A bu'ster of a bank did trudge That week before this austere judge ; He found high humor in him. Haw, haw ! A portly pap was pained by boils, On which he plaster'd fakir oils ; The humor still stayed in him, To tease ! A skinny chap, who was a wag. Struck at those pimp's like playing tag, And burst ripe humor in 'em With ease ! September 13. igT2 230 TRILLS AND FRILLS FOR SAM' AND BEN'S SAKE When Franklin went to woo the French In gay Paree, to gain their aid For Yankeedom — to grip and clench — He courted Crown, and queenly maid ; And bent his head to gossip, queer, Or lent big bladder for wine — (beer?) — For Sam's sake ! The wisdom of this Printer-friend, Whose home-work ran so sagely good, Was sterling stuff to steer the trend Of British lords, clear where they stood — And Ben stay'd up, at nights, to gain The gold, display'd with bright champagne, For Sam's sake ! The philosophic sense of Ben At besting those who sought his mind, Was ripe as Socrates ; for, when He rested after lunch, no kind Of rasping, indigestive pain In belly blasted him, as gain For Sam's sake ! 232 TRILLS AND FRILLS Uncle Sam'el yet tills the field So clearly got with Franklin's skill; The World doth watch its magic yield To worthy strain, some sphere to fill. Let 's not forget fine service, then, In France — its wine — to win its men ; For Ben's sake ! The scientific gains to Man Since Franklin's slower times of old. Have been full great ; we barely can Trace out their growth, so free and bold Electric gifts loom up, thus bright. By dulling day or gloomy night. For Ben's sake ! Ben's diplomatic feats to those Who fought for freedom in this land, Cannot be measured in plain prose Or rhythmic verse. In Passy, grand. His homely ways — his clever chat — Won loans for wars, with belly, fat. For Sam's sake ! Dcci'D/hir /y', /g/2 233 TRILLS AND FRILLS NOTES Pages 217-218. — The nerve-racking feeling and painful thoughts of these verses, were fairly inspired by a real, rasping headache ; and all the discordant sentiment was jotted down during worst of an experience, in order to prop- erly elucidate that temporary cranial disturbance. Page 219. — "Mary," besides having had a docile lamb in her tender days, has also had many other things, since then. The author lets her have full play, for awhile, with more mature "sheep." Page 220. — This alert composition ought please the most critical observer of fe- male toggery ; and gay girls, themselves, should not pass over this versic pleasantry without appreciating some force of writer's imputations. Pages 221-222. — Poetry and poultry, while synonymous in word-sounds, do not, as a rule, swing or wing in the same direction. Yet, in this sketch, some related personage of means but scant life, soon cleared a clogged at- mosphere ; and the enthused bard's pipes began to tune a-new, while his physical being kept growing apace, by aid of industrious hens and their conical fruit. Pages 223-225. — -To illustrate the "unlucky" side of "thirteen," 'twas deemed best to contrast a little fortune with the popular idea. The author attempts to treat perplexing topic in a jocular manner. Pages 226-227. — Many conjectures have been made and printed concerning a clause in Shakespeare's Will wherein he bequeaths a certain "second best bed" to his consort. The writer gives that great composer of blank verse credit for best of intentions, when he probably was not exacting enough in punctuating last personal legal paper. Pages 228-230. — The author almost invariably sees a "funny side" to things, of daily occurrence ; and, frequently in his intercourse with men, however nor- mal and sober-minded they are, he finds there is some element of humor in them, if it can be ferreted or wiggled out. Pages 232-233. — The one word in all of Benjamin Franklin's journal writings, which well displayed his guileless make-up and homely honesty, was his use of "bell}-" as referring to the receptacle which is now termed a stom- ach. The writer virtually adds lustre to a noteworthy name and priceless servant to the Colonial-United States, by showing Franklin's free use of brain and belly to accomplish great ends he had in view for all his countrymen. 234 VARI-CHORDED SONGS ■iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii II I III II II II I nil! Lancaster Lyrics A PRINTER'S PICK-UPS Clear clickety click Of type in stick Is "print's" delight, From morn till night. He " sets" with zest, While sluggards rest ; And does n't shirk His art, nor work. When days are bright, His task is light; Should "things run slack," Head he will rack. Clean is his " case," Whate'er the "face"; Chums has he, many ; Fake friends ? — not any ! 237 VARI-CHORDED SONGS Ev'ry one knows Where'er he goes, A printer 's pretty Sure to be witty. Purse may be Hght — Favors are right ; — And these, free friends, Form worthy ends. March 4, 1^04 j) g ^ 238 VARI-CHORDED SGNGS DON'T SHIRK YOUR WORK There 're quite a few "don'ts" in easy life That refuse to better our breezy strife; — The best 's no doubt, by timely test Express'd, "Do n't Shirk Your Work" — but, rest In the daily grind for goods or grub. With its trying rub and tiresome scrub — 'T is tempting to quit and sedately sit 'Round about to shirk one's work a bit. The first-made Man was happy and free, The "do n'ts" did n't bother him, you see ! Full time was always his own, to use. To wander abroad, as he might choose. Then a vision came across God's green — 'T was Woman, a queen upon warm scene — And Adam, I ween, began to — dream : " Do n't this," " do n't that," " do n't think ;" " just teem !" 239 VARI-CHORDED SONGS And truly, believe, he would not quirk — For Love's sake, ever, he began to work; To exert and labor his lot 's been since, 'Til, later. Toil turned to twist and wince. All along mute ages, for years and years, Man had his dubious doubts and fears; He loafed, and worked, then lounged again And mingled, for change, with crowds of men. Fond mates o' the men, sharp women in scheme. Got next to jobs with the start of steam ; And, bruskly as Trojans, some tried to win Swift ballot with suffragette bombs — by sin ! There 's something to suit for each dear sex ; The "don'ts" ought n't stay too near to vex; There 's Room for us all, and Work to do ; Let's mind this clear call — it means "Sam" and "Sue"! December /j, igr r 240 VARI-CHORDED SONGS PATHS PRIMEVAL The first paths form'd on land Were wound past virgin wood — Where wild beasts trod, or stood At tracks dug down in sand, And soil, as moss-bound mold — Through Seasons' sun or cold. These paths led high, led low. O'er hills and dales of earth; — Of trails there were no dearth. Wet weeds and stalks did grow About each space, quite free ; As vines lapp'd limb and tree. When man began to wage. And wander o'er this sphere. He, too, made paths so queer That thence, from age to age, Such routes ran to rude caves. By steeps close sea-swept waves. 242 VARI-CHORDED SONGS MEDIEVAL Ye marching hosts of old Mov'd forward to their quest, O'er gory lanes — ill blest With ease, yet bluntly bold ; And strewn were warriors, tough, On rocks and road-ways, rough. Swart folk of Indian days On hunting grounds did roam, Near haunts of sylvan home. Their paths lay through thick maize,- 'Cross nature's bridges, bent 'Bove streams, to which they went. DOMESTIC Then came odd kine-path crooks. And these pass'd blindly by Most sparse spots, sure to try One's skill to seek their nooks ; — Each cow and calf was slick At tramping, thus to trick. Lovers sought Maiden Lane, Where paths were fair and free ; There lingered long to see 243 VARI-CHORDED SONGS Life's drifting dreams for twain ; — Air castles, then, crept nigh ; Houses, high, now scrape sky ! COMMERCIAL Full hundred years have fled From end to end of sphere ; New paths pass far and near; Steel tracks do mark, instead, The trails of tired teams By mounts, o'er vales and streams. Great cities grow where lanes Once led to verdure green ; Tall buildings loom, between — Lift up wide walls from planes, In marts of merchants' make; And work thrives in their wake. DOWN TO DATE Of all the newer paths to take To-day, when weary worn, Three tide the illy shorn : The first with aqua pura slake, — For allo-paths are good, — While water works with food. 244 VARI-CHORDED SONGS The next near path to use Is homeo-path, so round As pellets can be found ; The last path close to choose — Osteo-path, all over, With balky bones in clover ! January 20, igi2 246 VARI-CHORDED SONGS WHEN THE ROBIN COMES AGAIN At end of March, in each young year, When April wakes to meet glad Spring, The robin, then, doth come to cheer Rapt world with carols it can sing. By break of dawn, in some tall tree, Gay-feathered songster greets fresh light ; With winged lay, its notes flow free, To scatter wide slant shades of night. Throughout bright morn of each new day — Midst buds and blossoms all around — Red-breasted bird, its love songs sway High up at sky, or low to ground. The robin's tunes trill on till eve. In welling waves of gleeful joy; And no one, near, need fear nor grieve To hear such strains — a-free alloy. Aplil 2/. /t)f2 247 VARI-CHORDED SONGS ALL HAIL THE HONOR OF VIRTUE'S NAME ! All hail the honor of Virtue's name ! Let legions proclaim long; Go forth with worthy, goodly fame And thrill the Landis throng. Parents, whose lives were ever pure. Their deeds we link in song ; Go, spread the sane, the safe, the sure — And bless the Landis throng. Let gifted daughters dearly love The duties of each day ; And splendid sons their labors shove, To win the Landis way. O, that with passing pleasures, grand. Let us forever pray That we keep close, in Godly band, To crown the Landis way. May 25, 79/2 248 VARI-CHORDED SONGS ANGLO-SAXON AND GERMANIC SONGS Olden England ! Isle of angl'and, Whose shores are wash'd with waters, grand, And swept by winds across sea-waves — Thy havens hold a home for braves ! Thy cliffs creep up aloft the deeps. As weeds enwrap thy lower heaps ; Thy mosses mold at ancient towers. And grasses grow in greenest bowers ! Olden England ! Gray old England ! Do thou extend thy gracious hand To those who have no dearer place For Anglo-Saxon speaking race ! Newer England ! Post o' Indian-land ! Where conscience first made its clear stand ; Thy early settlers earned a name For sterling virtue 'round their claim ! 249 VARI-CHORDED SONGS Thy bays and ports have kept brave men Who won their way o'er mount and glen ; And, through each stage of civil story, Thy plan and purpose gave thee glory ! Newer England ! Thy hopeful band Of Puritanic fathers planned Their labors true, for lasting time ; Which later poets placed in rhyme ! Old Germania ! Fatherland of worth ! Here Genius glows with richest birth ; Thy strength of character hath grown World-wide, clear for its very own ! Thy castled streams forever shine In splendor, with the classic Rhine ; All thy powers for greatness grow From honest work, without weak show Germanic race ! Thy vig'rous grace Throughout the globe vast kingdoms trace ; Thy children greet thee ev'rywhere With gen'rous hearts and faithful prayer ! 250 VARI-CHORDED SOEGS New Germania ! True Pennsylvania ! The best land west of old Germania ! Vast watered vales and tree-decked slopes Give fullest life to all thy scopes ! Thy mines, thy mounts, thy rivers wide, Bespeak the plain Germanic pride For many blessings, born of toil. Close by thy sylvan shades and soil ! True Pennsylvania ! New Germania ! Keystone growth of old Germania ! The garden spot on God's green earth ! The ground where freedom found its birth ! Aug7lSt 2r, 1^12 252 VARI-CHORDED SONGS RED, WHITE AND BLUE The Indian braves of olden days Bedecked themselves in bolden ways, With feathered plumes on fangled heads ; Or, beaded charms in spangled reds. Well-woven cloaks enwrapt these folks In warming colors, 'neath red-oaks ; A-blending with the browny tan O'er sun-kist race of native man. Atlantic clans, in civil life. Change pale-face styles ; — such now are rife In shape and shade of showy kind, With white to tone each whim of mind. The fixing tint of ruling race, Enlighted with real growth of grace, Is God's wise ray of purest white, To win our day from darkest night. 253 VARI-CHORDED SONGS As e'en the rose is never blue, So, too, no race has held this hue; The sky above is blue, indeed. To contrast with earth's blooming mead ; The sea its waters deeply blend With green and blue, from end to end ; The stars of heaven shine at night Thro' vaulted blue, in streams of light. September i6, igj2 254 VARI-CHORDED SONGS CAN YOU NOT CHEAT YOURSELF? Whene'er you cheat some man, A chum or common foe, At once such sordid plan Is charg'd up to your woe. You may, in fact, give less Than fairest measure, now ; Yet, later on, this mess Will mutely meet your brow. The smallest shortage, friend, That you can faintly give ; Shall tallest seem ; its trend With self, in pain, will live. Deceitful acts of thine, When dealing with free world, Are bound to back, or twine, Thy way, as sin unfurl'd. 255 VARI-CHORDED SONGS The Dark-one you may bluff By dodging him, in skill; His hooks, howe'er, are tough And strong enough to kill. As chickens coming home To roost, at shelt'ring place, Stray tricks you scheme shall roam- Then stare you in shame-face. September 28. H)r2 256 VARI-CHORDED SONGS THINK 0F:THE dear, YOUNG DAYS Do n't dote on drifting down and out At life's old age ; Just keep a-thinking that thy route Is youth's gold page ; Be bright and blooming as the rose With its sweet grace, And waft a crooning tune to those Who greet thy face. When thou art tasting too much "truck" That 's of thine lot. Then, go a-haste'ing for " good luck" Left near fine spot ; Young pluck has something to be proud Of, at this day; So, lift a humping heart, aloud, In bliss-built way. Thy state is shifting for sure test That 's safe at hand. And God 's a-sifting, from the rest, Grants for his land ; 257 VARI-CHORDED SONGS Then, get a-going, in youth's prime. With hope and trust ; And reap, aft sowing truth in time. Thy scope as just. " We 're young but once," yet our true care Can thrill eld fear, Since, while there 's life, there 's set new fare To fill each year ; The fields of youth are deft with play — Pure shapes — dear end ; Like faith, forsooth, they 're cleft for aye By fate's clear blend. October 12, rg/2 258 VARI-CHORDED SONGS JUST THE RIGHT STROKE 'T is easy, e'er, to shape things up, Or down, when you ken how. This world is willing, sure, to sup Soup, as served by frau — With just Right Stroke ! Swift rower clears wide stream so well. By craft and oar to ply, — Till, slower, sweeps he shore, a-swell Of wave which lands him, dry. With deft, Right Stroke ! A boxer, by the name of Bluff, Believes that he is built For burly touch ; two fists, quite tough, Of Quick hit him to hilt, Hard, with Right Stroke ! An artist draws, from dawn till dusk, Fair fields he sights a-far ; 259 VARI-CHORDED SONGS And' brushes streaks, for Fame, if brusque; Or, builds on Hope's bright star Athwart Right Stroke ! Smart widow bides her time to tell The man she steers to win. That better days are theirs to dwell In wealth, if he "digs in" — Deals out Right Stroke A bearded bard, who wears his hair In waves to woo meet Muse, A-tuneth lyre to cloy life's care — With songs of joy infuse — All at Right Stroke ! 'T is wisely best to bear thy cloak With care, so that blab-folk Can barely soak rare chance for joke Nigh thee — to poke or croak ; — Rest at Right Stroke ! February 75, /p/j 260 VARI-CHORDED SONGS KVOLUTIONARY PRONUNCIATION OF "AD" Ye cheerless tyme of shoppinge lyfe, Some hundrede years agoe ! Brave bizness men gave bargaynes, ryfe, Bye sunder'd trayde ; or slowe, Wize, season's Adver-/>'2^-ment ! E'en later, 'fore "mulatto" gore Big battles sent along, Mean trader sold "humano" store — "Nig" chattels lent lay-song — By monthly Adver-//5^-ment ! When railroad trade ran " Westward, ho," Nigh steamboat routes galore. Then matters made a rapid "go" — Spry planters got "ashore" Per monthly Ad-x;^r-tisement ! 261 VARI-CHORDED SONGS Keen methods of electric force Soon shorten'd dull delays- Mem'ry to Edison and Morse- Boon to pull press relays, Glad Ad ! Marcli /, /y/? 262 VARI-CHORDED SONGS TO-DAY'S SONNET To-day the trooping children chase o'er street Of thriving town, where fifty years ago Stiff soldiers trod drear place with tired feet; Alike, the aged veterans walk slow. This Decoration day — a-bent as bow; While, tripping on, with winged hearts a-beat, Their children's children voices blend to show Of flow'red gifts, faint shelt'red from May's heat, Bestrewn nigh Blue- and Gray's green-guarded grounds. Thus, freer views and aims are ours, to-day, A-learnt from troublous war-time's fighting fray ; And, so, we strive to watch and save these mounds Of martyred men, as storied check, for aye To clam'ring kin, to keep them in clear bounds. J\f(-iv JO, igij 263 VARI-CHORDED SONGS NOTES Pages 2_^7-238. — The average printer -compositor is identical to that shoemaker who "sticks to his last" — with this difference: the former "sticks type," and is ever happiest when thus occupied. Pages 239-240. — A solution to those trying organized, revolutionar}- movements is honest occupation, producing something worth while for others ; and this can only be accomplished by legitimate efforts of brain and brawn — partic- ularly the latter, when made in no meagre or mean measure. Pages 242-246. — This poem was prepared for author's birthday supper, and read by him, on Lincoln Day, 1912, in recognition of one of his twenty-four guests. Dr. Warren A. Sherwood ; whose sympathetic influences, for better- ment in physical and mental conditions, are being felt by an increasing number of grateful people. Page 248. — Composed for, and read at. Second Landis Family Reunion, Lititz, August 3, 1912. (Tune, "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name.") Pages 249-252. — These songs are filled with some of the truest and noblest aims of our English and German ancestors, emphasizing impress of latter in sub- stantially upbuilding Pennsylvania, and particularly its "garden spot," Jl,an- caster County. (Anglo-Saxon and Germanic Songs read by writer at Third Landis Family Reunion, Collegeville, Pa., August i8, 1913. ) Pages 253-254. — A blending of the national colors in American people and their wearing apparel. Pages 255-256. — Unvarnished tale of results reacting from cheating and other crafty trickery. Pages 257-258. — To keep young, one should think of and do enervating things: throwing all hindrances aside, and getting into fresh touch with a forward spirit. Be optimistic, have pluck, let your light shine, and your life will flourish in vernal beauty like an evergreen growth. Pages 259-260. — Many a masterpiece is made so by placing "just the right stroke" at its finish. 264 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS Lancaster Lyrics ONE BY ONE THEY PASS Ay, one by one, friends pass along To other planes of action ; As, day by day, the fated throng Goes forth, to fresh attraction. Long-time past, with playmates plenty, And study-hours at season's end. Youthful folks — sixteen to twenty — All fled away, like transient friend. Out to Life, aft luring places, Old comrades left, for newer change ; And soon were lost loving traces Of former friends within late range. Three decades, deep with worldly work, Move by me, in due order; Near fifty years thus mutely lurk Nigh scenes of faithful ardor. Each month, and week, and going day. My mates march on, beyond ; May their High Hope, I freely pray. To fruitful fields respond ! June ,V, ii)ji jj J, j^ 267 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS TO MY FRIENDS Bright thoughts to my kind friends I send, Where'er this day they all do live ; Right things, I trow, will be the end Of efforts we shall try to give. The stride of Time comes ever near, In sunny paths and shady lanes; And with each hour, of month or year, We know and feel its joys and pains. Life's ways and days are fill'd with deeds Of love and truth, of faith and trust ; And these are good for all our needs O' body, or mind and soul so just. To young and old, likewise, I greet Them with the present wishes, true ; And hope that we can, sometime, meet In glad and sweet reunion, new. Di'Ct'fnber 7, rgii 268 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS TO ,J. D. L. Full mony a day I 've lang'd to stare At some Scotch muse, like Burns o' Ayr ;— Aye, such lives here, in active age, Embodied with strong gift of sage; — I 've wish'd to chat, quite clear in sicht, Wi' ae brave mon, whose heid was richt ; — Whose han' reached far above sair pelf — Whose hame and he'rth were pairts o' self. Now, reader, friend, to pledge fit truth, 'T is best I show to you this youth — For Youth he was, and is, forsooth. When he could wrestle Burns — from Booth ! To Scotia's hills I jot his name, To Pennsy's vales I plot his fame ; And no one, fair, is there to blame When Law "gets there," — well, "a' the same!" February //, igoi 269 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS TO H. E. H. I scarce know much 'bout God of old Who shaped this clay-seameci clime ; I know more truths since you have told straight tale of Him in rhyme ; God's ways are linked with life and light in all religious creeds ; And bright, indeed, are they, and right, who study Nat- ure's weeds. Out-doors, by aid of sight and sense, God's plan doth plainly teach, As ne'er perceiv'd in pew or place. His real things in our reach ; For ev'ry pebble, shell and stone near hill-side, shore or sea. Bear witness of a future zone where you and I shall be. But what it is, and where, I 'm sure is naught for soul to state ; Man's wisdom, seems, is rather poor — am taught so 't any rate ; So, guess 't is best to live in hope that later on there '11 be A Shrine of Rest, with richer scope than earth, for you and me ! March 5, r(^02 270 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS TO C. E. L. Twenty-three, October, may be"skiddoo"; This Nineteen Eleven it do n't mean you ; Cognomens, in time, grow clever, as sung ; At seventy, aft prime, they 're yet kept young. A "wise guy" once had it blandly recorded So 's three score an' ten 'lone were hoarded — Allotted — to men o' our worldly sphere — Bah! take it; that soundeth "funny" an' "queer. Charley L isn't "short," see, by any means; Neyether, too "long," is he in many "greens"; He's alright, sir; and you may take my word. Doth delight — e'en a-chirp — like canary bird. Bright story, light joke, or similar stuff Are easy; aye, breezy; and ne'er so rough Gay teller can 't give us gospel measure. With special prescribings, at brief leisure. Here 's wishing 'im hale, glorious seasons To keep 'im a-going, for goodly reasons ; May th' years busy be — strong as 'is own name. An' each day and month full o' his home fame ! October 2j, igi I 271 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS TO B. F. W. U. Dear Doctor Urban: Manly muse, Thy Work is worthy; — to infuse Day dreams, when deeds are dwelling dull ; Thy verse is luteful, e'en to lull Life's mutest hope. Friend of the town; good, toiling seer: Thy Songs are soothing to each ear Whose sense of soul can sound their truth: Thy paeans please the eld, and youth Yields to clear scope. This triune rime — free, modest man — Is given thee, to greet thy Plan ; The writer voices, in faint way, Full richness of thy lyric lay. Where critics grope. filly 14.' rgi2 272 TO AND ABOUr FRIENDS EXTEMPORE, TO MRS. M. O. R. We folks have been looking For some real good cooking Full many a season; Yet, always a reason Cut shines, by its spooking P'ar off, for odd booking. This year, our dear old cook, With big, bound, brand new book. Got busy, at her throne, By baking a la Rohn ; And, now, we live and look Like stuff to swipe a spook ! Dt'ccmbci 26, i()i2 273 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS TO F. R. D. AT EIGHTY A wreath, this day, for you I '11 weave, From my own hand — By heath each friend, e'en foe, may breathe — As nigh throne-land. Your grooves have grown, as grind of gears, 'Round arcs of toil; Which prove how proud have been grand years Bound with mind-moil. Large store of facts from life, and more, Have kept you clear To pore, full — and pen, free, rich ore For kin to cheer. And now, please, let me place on you This wreath of rhyme — A bough no friend, nor foe, need rue- Your fame bides time. April JO, iQiJ 274 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS A TRIOLET FOR REV. DR. C. E. H. Giver of Good to All His Flock, To hosts of friends at home, at large ; Christian he is, by grace and frock, With Love for Souls of Worldly Flock; Staunch form as this, like living rock. Will ever reach forth and enlarge With each new strain, aft straying flock. To Guide Such Safely on God's Barge ! August JO, TgiJ NEW YEAR TRIO These greetings. Friend, are free and true: May blessings blend your life, all through; My wishes send I thus, to You. 1912-13 275 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS FOUR RARE TOWNSMEN SHAND Great strength of purpose from this Man Hath girded grit on all Our people; he's been in front van Of city's growth, full tall ; And ever gives, by tithe or time, Vast good that 's of him in his prime. GARVIN A character such as this one Is rare, indeed, to find In any city; Lancaster's Son Seeketh freedom of mind — Its conscience — for his many friends ; And charity to each extends. 276 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS WILLIAMSON To beautify fair Nature's haunts And bless the common folk, Of chosen home, with pleasant jaunts, - These joys are 'neath his cloak; To carry with him night or day, As treasures clear, in sight, for aye. SCHIEDT His Science works nigh God's own laws, Through wisdom, safe and sound ; So that all parts are free from flaws ; Thus, no one shall confound. His service reaches forth, to search Still more rare wonders, from Mind's perch. Febtnary 20. 1(^14 279 TO AND ABOUT FRIENDS LEST WE FORGET There are some friends we value much That fail of sight and speech ; Yet these find place within close touch Of hand, e'en mind to reach. They e'er yield courage, morn as eve, And cheer each soul to still achieve. "Lest we forget" these friends, so dear — Of home, of joy, of hope — Let 's note them now, as volumes near To read, and view their scope. And let us learn, from printed page. Of goodness grown from age to age. Go, ope your Books of gather'd lore And greet their range of truth ; Forget ill tales; — but cling to store Of grain that 's fit for youth. Then, when life's Winter skies turn gray, Your Books, warm Friends, will beam for aye December 20. n^ij 279 TO AND ABOm^ FRIENDS NOTES Page 267. — The passing away of former companions, noticeable to writer, is only what occurs in any one's career. Every character, going elsewhere, leaves a memory. It is always well to recollect the best acts of each per- son, as when one-time about us. Page 268. — Issued, in folder form, as a holiday souvenir to the author's friends. Page 269. — Indited for Mr. James D. Law, after reading his work, "Dreams o' Hame." Present use of the word Youth signifies a vigorous muse, or man of letters. Page 270. — Inscribed to Mr. Herman E. Hoch, after studying a "Conception of God" in his book, "The Land of My Dreams." The author's first line to H. E. H. means to make plain that he has not quite as much knowledge of God as many profess to have ; desiring to learn more as he goes, and grows, through life. Page 271. — Sent to Charles E. Long, Esq., active citizen, on his seventieth birthday. Page 272, — Forwarded to Dr. B. F. W. Urban, after perusal of his "Dreaming on the Conestoga. " Before his departure, the Doctor appreciated a private reading of a few poems herein presented. Page 274. — Written for F. R. DiffenderfFer, Litt D., local historian, on his eight- ieth birthday. Page 275. — A tribute to Rev. Dr. Charles Elvin Haupt, of whom it has been frequently stated, to the writer, "If there's a good man in Lancaster, it surely is Mr. H." Pages 276-278. — From among the many townsmen of author's acquaintance, Messrs. James Shand, M. T. Garvin, H. S. Williamson, and Dr. R. C. vSchiedt stand forth with fine qualities of civic effort for community construction. 280 LYRICAL VISION ■iniiiDiiiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiiniiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiPiiiiiiiiiiHiiin Lancaster Lyrics GOING YEARS AND COMING SEASONS FLEETING FANCIES How soon the years speed by — Like phantoms, Hght, they fly ! The days and months drift down Deep hnes, and leave their crown On one and all ! FLITTING FORWARD How grand the start, and great The hopes that guide each fate ! Life's hours are pure and free — Teeming land — swelling sea ; — And true their call ! How fine the fields do seem When Spring wakes mead and stream ! Each bud and bright new blade Enfolds glad earth and glade In sunlit smiles ! How clear the air and breeze ! With cheer free birds tip trees. And breathe their tales of love To mates lin'd near, above — On steeps for miles ! 283 LYRICAL VISION How sweet the Summer's skies ! Here warm kiss'd winds arise, To seek, in safe retreat, Rip'ning harvests, replete With richest store ! How long and drawn the days ! Now all mankind's work-ways Are wag'd at ceaseless gain. To garner in great train Vast tithes, and more ! How full the Autumn heaps ! With golden glow, Fall creeps, Then guides Time on to glory O' changing season's story. Nigh close of year ! How ripe and rare the scene. Where brown now blends with green ! High gales soon grow and blow O'er hills, by dales below, To make them drear ! 284 LYRICAL VISION How sure the Winter comes ! With chilly wind, that hums And hurries o'er the land, In wildness, on each hand, To fear its form ! How fix'd God's Pole-land law ! Where frozen deeps do awe With wondrous heaps of ice. To thrill Man in a trice 'Mid sleet and storm ! How dear the leaves of life ! With fewest dents, or strife ; No one can scan their scope To fail in help, or hope. For better things ! How kind the coming years ! Whence Joy dispels dark fears With fondest dreams, and Truth Wells 'round fair maid or youth In endless springs ! Deccmho 2q. k^ii D B I 285 LYRICAL VISION LAUGHING AND WEEPING The world loves those who laugh, With joys quite free to roam ; For smiles are sweet to quaff In office, shop, or home ! The sun's rich rays reach down To drive dull care away ; Then laugh and chat — do n't frown, Or fret, or fuss — get gay ! If weep one must, then try To do so firsts while sad ; And when inclined to cry, Lift up, faint heart — be glad ! The clouds may come or go. With shadows damp around ; Yet, now and then, we know Clear figures can be found ! 286 LYRICAL VISION He laughs the best, this hour, Who doth it with a will ; The laugh with light or pow'r Hastes hopeful hearts to fill ! 'Tis better, thus for all. That mirth meets us to-day The laugh that 's last is tall Enough, by lots, to stay ! Jam/air /, r()/2 287 LYRICAL VISION SHORTER STEEPLES The time Is coming fairly fast When steeples, tall, will have to go From churches, — relics of stale past, Like other passing points, you know. A cent'ry since, it was ye fad For pious folks to heavens reach ; Bold spires did reprove the bad, — And, help'd brave ministers to preach. The further up steep spires went. The better far then was firm church ; And weather-vanes most always lent Grace to their freest, highest perch. I used to like to see a steeple In ev'ry town around about ; For there, I thought, were Godly people. Not 'fraid to sing, or loudly shout. 288 LYRICAL VISION The sinners surely, in those days, Had fear, when going to " big meeting," Where spires did their pointers raise High up to all Faith's hosts, in greeting. Those times were quaint and grandly good. For saint or sinner — like a story ; And steeples clear in splendor stood, To guide them all to greater glory. A turning tide came on, in season. And spires began to bend around The other way ; for some new reason. Steeples bluntly becked to ground. It seems some folks that were real human Tried to erect stout Church for those Who came to meet God's men and women ; And so they shorter steeples chose. Now, since steep spires are getting less. The "sinful" plainly have some show, 289 LYRICAL VISION For all spread plumes, or flow'rs and dress, Are nearer to this world below ! The saints, of course, still yet can sing Their hymns and tunes, to luteful lyres ; Yes, now each one can safely bring Their gifts quite near, away from spires ! February /S, iqi2 290 LYRICAL VISION DEATH'S SLEEP If Death is like drawn sleep, Where none need wake to weep,- May we not move along Our service, with a song ? If Sleep 's like shorten'd death, Whence life is but its breath, — To watch, again, near day Is well, indeed, for aye ! May ij. J()i2 PAST AND PRESENT Let 's note the Past, with its great page Of treasures, old ; The Present, too, in this late age And pleasures, bold. The dead, in spirit, dwell and move O'er teeming earth ; While those who live, to-day, but prove Their seeming worth. May //, 1(^12 291 LYRICAL VISION THE BROAD-MINDED MAN I like the many-sided man Whose daily walks denote his worth; The character who, in God's plan, Shows lib'ral sense of noble birth. I feel that when a man is wide In will, his heart is likewise good ; He always views his place with pride- Pure cause of common brotherhood. I think that man is doing well. When striving fair to find a way To win true things, if he can tell The perfect parts from soiled clay. I know that after many years Of toil, and hope for better life. The man whose mind is free from fears Will bravely stem the world of strife. 292 LYRICAL VISION I wish that more could freer be From narrow walls near closed sites, — Then gen'rous glories one would see, And man's best works might clear of fights. I love to note the growing man Whose human touch and sense of soul Are broad enough to brightly scan The Maker's scheme to grasp his goal. June /6, igT2 293 LYRICAL VISION ^ MY HOPE My hope is like a limpid star, High up, 'way off, in heav'nly sky; Its beams are bright, while beck'ning far — Clear lights thro' cloudlets hov'ring nigh ! This thought leads forward to a time When all that 's fair or true on earth Will sweeter be, like soul sublime — In a free state, with a new birth ! Angi4st 2j, ig/2 294 Ci.ori) Rkflections in Conestoga Kivkr. near Gable's Park LYRICAL VISION ALL'S WELL When sadness o'ertakes you, Like sin, Then gladness awaits you Within, — And sunshine without you, To dwell — Twin Glad-Suns to greet you All's well. August 26, r()i2 BLUISH-GREEN Some people think that since the sky Is Turkish blue That they might do as well t-t-to try To turn so, too ; The same peop. surely see this earth Is Irish green. And they, as quickly, lack n-n--no dearth To hire its sheen, August 26, I()I2 296 LYRICAL VISION SELF-DENIAL The while one learns to hold aloof Weak pleasures of the day — Self-strengthened, thus, for world's reproof- True treasures tow'r to stay. The crowds may chase, in great array, For transient ties, and vain ; Thou need'st not care for their display, Much more shalt be thy gain. The constant effort t'ward the best Will ever win its worth ; Thy self-denial 's but some test, In trifling things, on earth. August 2/, H)r2 297 LYRICAL VISION CROSSING BRIDGES We 've had a number of bridges to cross, With loving friends, since the long ago ; To do this each year without some loss, Such feat rarely e'er was just so. Full many a time there were great gains For the effort we then made to go ; Fair bridges beck'd to brighter lanes Away beyond dark waters' flow. Few streams of life, we may be sure. Lead to still rivers, quite alone. With but one bridge to span low moor — More crossings there yet are, to "tone." Thus, sooner or later, we pass them all, The bridges built by earthly ties ; While Hope helps us over fate's mall. Across last Sea Bridge, to God's skies. September /, igi2 298 LYRICAL VISION NEW IN YOU 'TIs said, there is no thing so new But that it has been told before ; Quite true, in a way, from old-time view ; Yet, let us try to turn this score. There ne'er were two hearts just the same In each part of their perfect whole ; Twin shares exist in sense or name, Tho' none partakes the other's soul. The fact that you. Latest, are here In flesh, in thought, in act, and sight, Shows to the world some greatness clear From God that 's fresh, and new, and right. September 4, 1^12 300 LYRICAL VISION LET'S LAUGH, TO-DAY Let 's laugh, to-day, — Throw chaff away ! New friends are here, Old chums to cheer ; Warm hearts grow light, Cool heads show bright. Let 's laugh, to-day, — Chase clouds away ! Good guests are nigh, Bad ghosts to shy; True mates are near, No fates to fear. Let 's laugh, to-day, — No storm can stay ! The sun will shine With warmth, in fine, To light this land And guard it grand. 301 September 21, igi2 LYRICAL VISION Let 's laugh, to-day, — Do n't growl till gray A "grouch" is bound To crouch at ground ; The best will come To those who hum. Let 's laugh, to-day, — Few bills to pay ! 'Cept such we owe — And these, you know, We '11 fix 'em all Like fun, this Fall. Let 's laugh, to-day, — Just grasp the gay ! Let 's merry be With goodly glee ; Let 's live and laugh Rich joys to quaflf. 302 LYRICAL VISION AWAKE, ASLEEP— AGONE ! Awake, asleep — at play or rest — A child bears joy and cheer; Away, at home — we love the guest Who plans its pleasure, dear. Like bud and blossom, bright and sweet, At break of morn in May, A boy or girl will sprightly greet The best things of Spring day. Each year of grace, in healthy youth. Yields forth its growth and gain ; Nor fear to trace life's fervid truth To learn its lessons plain. The man of mature age doth toil From dawn of day to night ; He tries, and plies, to ably foil His passing time, of flight. Awake, alive ! Asleep, at rest — A soul has wrought its way; — Agone 't will be, by Nature's test, To newer world, away ! Sc pi on her 2(). K)r2 303 LYRICAL VISION THE PLEASANT PATHS OF PEACE Let 's pace the pleasant paths of peace, Where walks are free from want or waste ; Let 's wage no wars ; and let us cease To fell the weak, in fev'rish haste. Let 's shape frail human hosts of earth, Whose hearts may fail from selfish aim. So that their cause, whate'er its birth, Shall win clear calm, by wisdom's claim. Let 's live to gain glad love for toil By brain or brawn, in healthy ways; Then give true grain, from growing soil, To those who dwell thro' peaceful days. Let 's plant our seeds of rest so well In parts to aid the scope of man. That placid arts of peace will tell The world of order, per God's plan. October iS, Tgi2 304 A Svi.vAN Road in East Hk.mfkikld, Wkst df Kohkkkstown LYRICAL VISION THY TRIUMPH Rejoice, right now, for things just here To animate thy hfe ; Transcend blest brow with wings of cheer Do n't agitate, by strife ! DeHght to think of what thou hast, To contemplate, and do ; Enrich thy deeds ; no part of past Can elevate, so true ! Exalt thy sphere with joy and hope ; Ne'er habitate slight fear; Triumph by trust; and thy glad scope Will gravitate quite near ! Januajy 4, H)i3 306 LYRICAL VISION A RETIRING PRAYER To-night, dear Lord, I lay me down to sleep, Aright, do Thou my soul and body keep ; Forgive the thoughtless things I 've done. Forget, if wrought, my sins, each one. Be kind to those who dwell with me, And find a home for them near Thee ; Lord, bless the spirits gone before, The dear related friends of yore. Let those about me, in their life, Stay close to truth, and free from strife ; And may we all prove worthy band Of worshipers to praise Thy Land. Noz'i'iiihcr 24. n^rj 307 LYRICAL VISION REPOSE The curtain 's down. Night draws a-deep. A soul, serene, meets tranquil sleep. Thus, God doth keep His Sheep. March 5, igi4 308 LYRICAL VISION 309 LYRICAL VISION NOTKS Pages 283-287. — While years come and go, each fresh season yields something different from similar calendar periods. These two poems were written at a time when anthor was bending forward to brighter times, after recovering from interruptions in the home circle a year or two previous. Pages 28S-290. — The modern church is built without those beautiful spires, once deemed so necessary to places of religious worship. The writer, while treat- ing his subject with a slight touch of humor to illustrate an under-thought- feels that nothing in Lancaster's architecture can excel the grand steeples of Holj' Trinity Lntheran and P'irst Presbyterian churches, with their gilded pointers raised majestically skyward. Page 291. — These versicles have original contrasts, calculated to give hopeful views of life's various changes. Pages 292-293. — In cementing the common brother- and sisterhood of humanity, nothing trends better in this divine direction than a "broad-minded" spirit. Let there be more of this charitable disposition and all will be well. Page 294. — Hope is ever the brightest beacon to buoy a soul searching beyond its present state and sphere. Page 296. — When things look uncomfortably black or blue, 'tis well to remem- ber that sun-like effects prevail where "God's presence 'round us shines." Page 297. — Temporarj^ self-denial, in vain or extravagant matters, always brings its own peaceful relief and recompense. Page 298. — From sight of many real bridges in this world, is it not a splendid vision to imagine one grand, final faith-structure, spanned across front Vale to sublime security- ? Page 300. — The fact that there is no one in existence e.xactlj' like You, and there never was nor will be, makes your personality' new and pleasing. Pages 301-302. — Laughter is one of the happiest children of a cheerful life, en- wreathed and enhanced with smiles. Page 304. — The author discountenances war by bloodshed and advocates, instead, peaceful pursuits of brain and its body, for every one's existence and bet- terment. Page 306. — By patiently and pleasantly working out your welfare, with a pure and friendly spirit for right and rational ideals, you will cultivate a chaste and endearing character, with joys awaiting you every day, everywhere. 310 THP: AUTHOR'S LEAK Ma\- this stout book be thine to read And to possess : May its outlook incline, e'er lead, To happiness : Fine friends be found near field and fen — Glades of gladness ; Earth's ends — as bound to free more men 1 From shade-sadness. May verse of muse, each j)hoto view, Draw forth delight : May these infuse keen hopes anew — To ken aright. Pure joys are gems, just now. t(j cheer In rich measure. If th ou but give these pearls, .so clear. From thy treasure. March v. 1914 D.Wil) r. \CHM.\N I.ANDIS To THE Reader The entire contents of this work, including^ illustrations, are closely reserved by protected copyright, and may not be reproduced except by special permission from the author and publisher. With this book, the familiar trade-name of Pluck Art Printery is somewhat reluctanth' imprinted for the last time ; and, in future, the Landis Art PrEvSs will .serve, in its place, as a .still more per.sonal mark for printing of modern purpose and di.stinction. The author requests his manj- friends to substantiall}- aid in the general circulation of Lancaster Lvrics. For the rea.sonable sum of S3.00 this fine, large volume will be sent, prepaid, anywhere in the United States. The book will make a most acceptable gift to an}' one at any time. Address D. B. Landis, Publisher, 38 East Chestnut vSt., Lancaster. Pa.