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 AMES' Series of 
 
 STANDARD AKD MIITOR LKAMA. 
 
 HOW SISTER PAXEY 
 
 AN ETEICPEiN FARCE 
 
 IN ONE ACT, 
 - in - 
 
 -I. S H. SHAW, 
 
 l\'i in CA f^T OF rjTA RA CTKIIS, KSTPlA NCES A ND EXITS, REI,A Tl VE 
 
 Posri inxs OF I UK i'i:i:F<>ni\u:]:soy tjiestahe, de- 
 
 aVJiJf'TiUN ()E<-<)STI:ME, and the WIIOI.EOF 
 THE STAGE hi:61NESH, AS PERFORM- 
 ED A T THE PRINCfPAE AMER- 
 ICAS AND ENGLISH 
 THE A TRES. 
 
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 1) AMES, PUBLISHER. 
 
 ^m^imm^wm^^m^''/^^^wm^ 
 
 ( Adrift. <>.,1 I'liil's Uirllurv ) A ("..rn|>li'te De- 
 
 IIow He Did It, Tlu' S|iv lit" Atliiuta, ^fri|»liv«' Cut 
 
 ( Joe's Visit. TIh' CoiniiiK Mnii, I iiloa^uc FH EK 
 
 T/ic (ibnrr I't cents each e.rccpt Thr S/-t/ <>/ Allnnln, iruirli is J'> cmt.s. 
 
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^>) 
 
 u 
 
 NEW PLAYS. I 
 
 7'). ADRIFT. A TeDiiHMaiiLr Drama, in three acts, by Chas. W. Babcook, Ci> 
 
 ^i. D. Six male, ioiu- I'om.ile oharaeter^. Good cliaracteis lor leading man, (y 
 
 villain, comedy, juvenile, a cipital negrw, and jolly Irishman. Also leading la- 
 
 yl dy, little girl, juvenile lady, and old negress. A deej) plot, chaiacters well (^ > 
 
 (\>) drawn and Liifguage i)ure. Easily produced. Scenery simple on d costumes ( !) 
 
 Al) juodern. Time of periermanee, one hour and a half. ^y 
 
 ^ 76. I/O W HE nit) IT. A comic Drama in one act, by John I'arry, three C i> 
 
 male, tw.) female ciiaracicrs. An amusing scene from real life. A ph/i is laid (^ > 
 
 to cinv' a hu.slmnd, who having lost a tirsi wife whom he domineei'ed over,.trie.s ( !> 
 
 totro.it aseeouil one in like manner. A splendid comedian's part. Time about | ) 
 
 thirty minutes. ^Costumes modern. (- j> 
 
 Q 77. JOES I'ISIT. An Etliiopean burlesque on the Rough Diamond, two v> 
 
 - male, one female cliaracters. Easily produced and very laughable. Can also be C) 
 
 played white. Time twenty minutes. Co.stumes extravagant negi;o. (O 
 
 ^j 7.S. A^' A ]yFUL~CRliVI\AL. A Farce in one act, by J. Palgrave Simpson, ^ [ 
 
 (])) three male, three female cliaracters. Plot excellent and its devek)pment very ^( 
 
 jj) amusing. The oftener produced the better it is liked— is in one scene and easily ^ ^ 
 
 ( j) put upon the stage, ('ostiime.-; sim)»le. Time thirty-tive minutes. ' O 
 
 7!). THE SPY OF ATLANTA. A (Jrand Military Allegory in .'<ix acts, by f{ 
 
 A. D. Ames and (.'. (i. Hartley, fourteen male, three females. This play is found- )■ >! 
 
 el on incidents which occured during the war of the Kebellion — it "introduces ).i 
 
 Ohio's l)ravean(l gallant McPher.son— tlie manner of his capture and death. It ^{ 
 
 abounds witii iteautifui tableaux, drills, marches, battle scenes^ Andersonville, ^^ 
 
 etc., and is pronounced iiy the iire.ss and public, the most successtiil military ^\ 
 
 (jp play ever produced, (i. A. K. Posis, Military Companies and other organiza"- ^^^ 
 
 ^N tions, who may wish something which will draw, should produce it. it may O 
 
 ^{^ not be out of jilaee to add tnat this play with the incidents of the d.-ath of Mc.'- ( } 
 
 Pherson, was writt--n with the consent of the General's brother, K. B. McPher- (^ ) 
 
 son,||sinc;j dead.^wno fully approved of it. Price 'i.i cents per copy. ( ) 
 
 ^ 80. AL.ARMINGLY SCSPiriOUS. A Comedietta in one act, bv J. Pal- $ 
 
 (hj grave Simpson, four m lie, tlire.' females. This play is easiiv arranged', and the ''P 
 
 (>) plot excellent. Some things are "Alarmingly Su.spicious" however, and it-will <^ 
 
 ■ '{ please an audience. Time forty-five minutes. " (^ 
 
 c|^ SI. OLD PHIL'S BIRTHDAY. A serio-comic Drama in two acts, bv J. % 
 
 (p \\ Wooler, hve male, two lemules. Scenery easilv arranged. Costumes modern. f^ 
 
 One of the purest and mo,u attraL'tive plays ever published. Thecharcter' of }[ 
 
 "Old Pall" cannot b-^ exeelle.l, an I the oalance are every one good." Time one { 
 
 (^ hour and forty-five :jinut.'s. * O 
 
 (P 82. KlLLlNCr TIME. A Farce in one act, one male, one female. ;^Scene''a ((\ 
 
 <\) drawing room. Costumes modern. A woman held captive at home l)y the rain -\ 
 
 m seeks to "kill tim-." flow sh>-doesi( is told bv this farce. Time about thirtv W 
 
 (j) minutes. "^ " '1^ 
 
 h 83. OUT Oy THE WORLD. A Drama in three act.s,» live males, four fe- \\ 
 
 (^ males. Scenery not ditlicuU. Modern costumes. A thrilfing picture of love ).{ 
 
 jl) fidelity and devotion. Exc.-lleiit leading characters^ iindu Irish comed'v, "".both' >' 
 
 r]) male and female. C.m be produced on any stage. Time two houik An'A'mer- '^ 
 
 61) ican Drama. " C >) 
 
 (Ji) S4. VHEEK WILL WIN. A Farce for three male' characters bv W E - 
 
 ) Suter. Costumes modern. Scene plain apartment. It i.s said that nothing wili Y' 
 
 ^ carry a nmn tlirmigh the world as well as plentv of "cheek." " i strikin.-- ex- ^s 
 
 ^) ample is given in tills farce. U will jdease all. Ti"me tiiirtv minutes " " ^^ 
 
 % S.5 THE OUTCASTS WIFE. A domestic Drama in 't'hree acts, bv Colin I: ^ 
 
 11. Hazlewood, twelve males, three females. Co.stumes modern. A thrillinsf ^. 
 
 play ot the blood and thunder order, abounding in exciting .scenes and hair- vl 
 
 breadth escapes, Is a favorite wherever inoduced, "andWias leadin'"- man old ^ 
 
 I man, juvenile and comedy characters. The "wife" is aVand (me t^.r leadiu"- ^' ? 
 
 ^ lauy, and there IS a good comedy. Time one hour and fort v-tive minutes ^^ 
 
 f) ^iS. BLACK VS WHITE OR THE NIGGER AND YANKEE A Fare S' 
 
 (I) in one act, by (ieo. S Vautrot, four males, two females. Simple scenerv Mod- $ 
 
 ^ ern costumes. In this larce is combined the Ethiopean and Yankee "both ^\ 
 
 (^^ charac ens being very tunny, as well as other excellent parts. Time of perfoii - T 
 
 (£^ ance, thirtv-tive minutes. ' "•<- oi pfnoim ^ 
 
 (I 
 
HOW SISTER 
 PAXEY GOT HER. CHILD BAPTIZED, 
 
 AN ETHIOPEAH FAECS 
 
 insr oisriG scicjsrEi, 
 
 BY 
 
 J. 2. E* Shaw^ Esq* 
 
 W tb v-'^omplete stage directions, deseriptions of costumes, and entrances and 
 exits, correctly printed from the author's manuscript. 
 
 Entered according to act of Covgress, in the year 18S0, by 
 
 A. D. AMES, 
 in the office of the LibraHan of Congress, at Washington. 
 
 2n3P''- 
 
 •<;. 
 
 CLYDE, OHIO: 
 
 A. D. AMES, PUBLISHER. 
 
1 "--^ 
 
 HOW SISTKR PAXET GOT HER CHILD BA.PTIZE©. 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 Brother Bones A Colored Preacher 
 
 Sister Paxey — who is rather sly, and will dance and im- 
 bibe a little when no one is about One of his member.^ 
 
 Jim Paxey Sister Paxey' s son. 
 
 Scene — A kitchen. 
 
 Costumes — To suit the ctiaracters, but a little "loud. 
 
 Properties. — Marbles, jewsharp, one bottle labelled "whiskey", one bottle 
 labelled "turpentine", tumbler, two bottles not labelled, pail of water, large 
 rag baby, one chair. 
 
 Time of performance — twenty minuter. 
 
 THP96-Q06729 
 
HOW SISTER PAXEY GOT HER CHILD BAPTIZED. 
 
 SCENE. — A kitchen with table, chairs, etc. Jim Paxey discovered sitting on 
 thefioor, playing marbles. 
 
 Enter Sister Paxey, l. 1 e. 
 
 Sister P. 0, law me ! I Avonder where dat eberlastin' boy ob mine hab 
 gone. If I git a hold ob him, I'll gib him one ob dem ole Virginia lickins, 
 Bich as massa used to gib me, when I picked cotton down south, {she sees 
 Jim) 0, here you is, you little scamp you, git a long where I sent you, 
 {kicks Jim, toho runs around the stage crying.) Stop dat cry in' an* go 'long 
 after dat preacher, before dat chile expires. I want him to baptize it. Dat 
 beautiful creature. 
 
 Jim. I ain't cryin', dat am de way 1 laugh. I hab been to see brodder 
 Bones, and he says he will be here immediately, it not before. 
 
 Sister P. Well, den stop dat laffin, I'm too ole to be laughed at. But I 
 must iix to sustain dat preacher, to de best ob my inability. 
 
 Jim. Well den, while you are waiting, let's have some fun. 
 
 Sister P. All right, what shall we do? 
 
 Jim. Why, let's run a race. 
 
 Sister P. "l can't run, I hab got de rheumatics in one ob my legs, awful 
 bad. 
 
 Jim. I guess we will have to let dat go. But dat am a curious place to 
 take de mathematics. I always thought dat people tuck dem in de head. 
 
 Sister P. You Jim ! I didn't say the mathematics. I said the rheumatics. 
 
 Jim. yes, I understand the rheumatics. 0, mammy, I know what to 
 do now. 
 
 Sister P. What am it? 
 
 Jim. Let's jump. 
 
 Sister P. d, but I can't jump ! 
 
 Jim. sVell, mammy, suppose we dance. 
 
 Sister P. ! but den you see, I can't dance, because one foot am a Mef- 
 fi;^est an* de oder am a Presbyterian. 
 
 Jim. 0, but you can try. 
 
 Sister P. No I can't! no sur-ree-bob, you don't ketch me a dancin', and 
 the preacher a cumin' in at any minute. Not much Sister Paxey don't let 
 the preacher catch her a dancin'. 
 
 Jim. Well, but I have some church music here. 
 
 (pulls ajetvsharp from his pocket. 
 
 Sister P. Where am it ? 
 
 Jim. {showi7ig jewsharp) Here it am. I can play dat ole camp meetm 
 
 • 
 
4 HOW SISTER PAXEY GOT HER CHILD BAPTIZED. 
 
 song, dat broder Bones makes 'em all shout wid. 
 
 Sister F. Ai-e you sure you can? Now Jim, I don't want to dance any- 
 thing but church music, because it would be a very great sin. 
 
 Jim. Yes, mammy, you jest bet your ole bonnet on dat. {aside) I'll fool 
 mammy once any way. I'll play her Yankee Doodle, and she'll not know 
 the difference. 
 
 8iste7' P. {aside) I don't guess it would be any harm if de preacher was 
 cum in and catch me a dancin' church music, [^to Jim) Well, git us some 
 familiar tune, an' I'll try to dance. 
 
 Jivi. All right, mammy, {takes his jewsharp and plays Yankee Doodle, 
 they both dance until sister Paxey stumbles and falls.) 
 
 Sister P. {rising) Are you sure dat am church music. 
 
 Jim. Yes, mammy, dat am broder Bones' favorite tune. Dat am de one 
 he makes em all shout with at de camp meetin'. {aside) I knowed I'd fool 
 mammy. Dat am Yankee Doodle, but mammy don't know the diflTerence, 
 and I'll not tell her anv better, or else she'll give me a thrashin'. {to sis- 
 ter P.) Well, mammy, how d'you like dat tune? 
 
 Stster P. i liou'L know as i eber heard it afore, but it seems to suit my 
 taste very well. {struts around gaily. 
 
 Jim. 0, mammy, you are way behind de times, now a days. 
 
 Sister P. How am dat, my son? splainify dat to me. 
 
 Jim. {aside) Well, of all the old fools I eber did see, mammy is de big- 
 ist. {to sister P.) I mean dat you don't walk like de fashionable portion 
 ob de population do now a days. Dey go it somethin' after dis style, only 
 dey hab got more ob a twist to it. {trying to walk like a lady) Some how 
 or oder I can't git dat peculiar twist to it dat de most ob em hab got. 
 
 {continues to walk around. 
 
 Sister P. De oder day, when I was out takin' a walk, I met one ob de 
 fashionable young ladies, and she was a comin down de street a meetin' an 
 oder one of the lashionable young ladies. She had on one ob dese pull back 
 or hitch back, what eber you call em, and she was a comin' down de street 
 some thin' like this, {shovjs hoio by taking up the skirt of her short dress) 
 0, dear, my dress won't permit me to show you exactly how she was a 
 comin' down dat street, but maby you can comprehend. If I disremember 
 right, she was a comin' sorter this way. {shoivs how) "0, dear, I'm so 
 glad to see you, it is so hot to-day, I really thought I should have expired." 
 Now when I was a gal, it was different all together. They went it sorter 
 this way, in muddy weatner. {shoivs hoio, by taking up her dress in front, and 
 stamping rotnd the stage) And they meant business too, I tell you. Dat 
 was when I was a gal. 
 
 • Jim. 0, mammy, give me ten cents to git a bottle of soda water, I'm so 
 dry after dat talk. 
 
 Sister P. O, dear, dem rheumatics am a comin' back on me agin. You 
 Jim, go an' git dat rheumatic medicine ob mine, you will find it on de top 
 shelf. • 
 
 Jim. All right, dat am just as good as soda water for me, it am awful 
 easy to take. I'll go an' see if I can find it. {exit r. 
 
 Sister P. 0, he's an obedient son, I tell you, and he's so quick. Here 
 he's back agin. 
 
 Enter Jim r. with ixoo large bottles, one labeled ^^whiskey^' the other 'Hurp^n- 
 tine." He is drinking out of the whiskey bottle as he enters. 
 
 Jim. Say mammy, which ob dese here bottles am your medicine in, dis 
 one seems to taste de best. {drinks. 
 
 Siser p. Let me see dem labels an' I can tell you which it am. 
 
 Jim. All right, mammy, dat am de one y»u want, {hands her the tur- 
 pentine bottle. — aside) I hope it am, for dis here tastes most awful good. 
 {Sister P., takes bottle and reads label, "turpentine J' 
 
 Sister P. No dis am turpentine, dis ain't my medicine j dare it am, you 
 
HOW SISTER PAXEy GOT HER CHILD BAPTIZED. 9 
 
 have it in your hand. Dat am de bottle dat my medicine am in. Gib it to 
 me. {points to the bottle that Jim has. 
 
 Jim. All right, mammy, here 'it am. 
 
 {raises the bottle as if to hand it to her, but drinks. 
 
 Sister P. {disappointed) Yes, ihere it am, but I ain't got it yet, and ain't 
 likely to either from the present appearances, {getting angry) Gib it to 
 me, I say ! 
 
 Jim. Yes, it's awful good, I got it on the top shelf, {raises bottle again to 
 give it to her but drinks. She reaches to take it but is disappointed. She chases 
 Jim, around the stage, but fi nail jj gives it up and stops l.) 
 
 Sister P. {in a threatening manner) Gib dat here, I say. 
 
 Jim. (r.) Well, mammy, here's {raises bottle and she steps up to take it) 
 to your health. {he empties bottle. 
 
 Sinter P. From de looks ob de thing it am to your own health. 
 
 Jim. 0, no mammy, dat am de style now a days. Here mammy, you 
 drink to my health the same as I did to yours, {hands her the empty bottle. 
 
 Sister P. {pleased) All right. {goes to drink but Jim stops her. 
 
 Jim. Hold on, mammy, you forgot to say, here's to my health. 
 
 Sister F. {getting a glass) 0, so I did, Jimmy. Well, here's to your 
 health. {tries to pour some out. 
 
 Si'sttr P. I wonder what am in de neck ob dis here bottle, dat won't let 
 my medicine come out. {looks doion the neck of bottle) Now I don't see 
 anything wrong with that bottle, {shakes it, vjhen she finds it is empty) No, 
 I don't think I will drink to your health, nor to any body elses, when you 
 didn't leave any in the bottle. But I don't care, I can git anoder bottle, I 
 guess, about dis house an' you shan't have nary a drop neither. 
 
 Jim. All right, mammy, {exit Sister P. r.) I guess I can find some 
 more medicine about dis here house some whar. {exit l. 
 
 Enter Sister P. r., with a bottle of xoater, drinking. Enter Jim t,. with a 
 bottle. Business adlibitum, when Jim looks ofi r. and sees Brother Bones. 
 
 Jim. 0, mammy, dar am dat preacher a comin' to baptize mine little 
 brodder. 
 
 Sister P. 0, dear, I wonder what on arth dat preacher am a comin' here 
 fur any way. 0, yes, I remember now, I sent you for him to baptize dat 
 child. Well I must fix things up a little around here, {tries to arrange the 
 room, but cannot stand steady, and sits down) well, I will just sit down on 
 dis chair, an' when Br udder Bones comes in, I'll just sit still, an' he'll not 
 know that I've been takin' a little too much ob my medicine. 
 
 Jim. No, no ! Dat won't work, because dar ain't only one chair here, 
 an' how am you goin' to sit on dat, an' tell him to take it? 
 
 Sister P. Neber you mind, Jim, I'm used to these preachers. I'll tell 
 him some story about it. 
 
 Jim. {getting tipsey) All — hie — right, mammy — hie. {knock £. 
 
 Sister P. {sits on chair) Come in — hie. 
 
 Enter Brother Boyies, r. 1 e. 
 
 Bones. Good day ? How do you do ? How do you come along ? 
 
 Sister P. You mean me'n Jim, I s'pose — hie — We do as we — hie — please 
 — hie — Now how do you — hie — do? 
 
 Bones. Tolerable well, thank you, you seem to be indulgin' in somethin* 
 to drink. 
 
 Sister P. Brodder Bones, take a chair — hie — an' sit down — hie. 
 
 Bones, {seei no chair) Sister Paxey, I don't see any chair to take. 
 
 Sister P. 0, sense me, I forgot the chairs am all in the parlor — hie — here 
 take this — hie — one, I can stand — hie. {staggers arid gives chair to Bones. 
 
 Bones, {taking chair) Thank'ee. {goes to sit doion when she is over bal- 
 anced and knocks the chair from under him, they both fall.) 
 
 Jim. {aside) It pears to — hie — me dat somethin's — hie — dropped. 
 
6 HOW eiSTEB PAXEY GOT HER CHILD BAPTIZED. 
 
 Bones, {rising and dusting his pants) Well, sister Paxey, you don't seem 
 to stand very well. 
 
 Sister P. I — hie — don't eh ! Well, I can't — hie — help that. 
 
 Bones. You should not indulge in strong drink, an' den you could help 
 it sister. 
 
 Sister P. I wasn't a dulgin' in it I — hie — was only takin' some medicine 
 — hie — for my stomach. 
 
 Jim. Now, mammy, you — hie — said dat was — hie — for your rheumatics 
 dat you — hie — took dat medicine. 
 
 Sister P. {aside to Jim) You Jim, shut up ! I tole you — hie— not to say 
 nuthin'. 
 
 Jim. All right, mammy — hie — but dat am what you — hie — tole me. 
 
 Sister P. {to Bones) I'll tell you — hie — Brudder Bones, I had the — hie — 
 rheumatics awful bad in one ob ray — hie — legs, an' I took some ob dis here 
 medicine ob mine, but it — hie — seems to hab gone the wrong — hie — way, it 
 hab gone up instead ob down. You had better try some ob it, it a,m ready 
 relief— hie — an' it takes eflfect right immediately, if not — hie — before. 
 
 {offers the bottle to him — he takes it and drinks. 
 
 Bones. Dat am good, I tell you, not hard to take either. But where am 
 dat child you wanted baptized ? 
 
 Sister P. 0, I forgot all about dat child wantin' — hie — baptizin'. I'll go 
 an' fetch it in. {Bones stops her. 
 
 Bones. no, you needn't bring it in, I can go into de oder room. Do 
 you want it dipped, sprinkled or submerced ? 
 
 Sister P. Well, if it's— hie— all the same to you, I would like to — hie — 
 hab it dipped, if you can find water enough around dis place. 
 
 Bones. All right. I guess we can find water enough. A pail full of wa- 
 ter would be enough to dip a small child. I say sister, gib me some more 
 ob dat medicine, my corns am a hurtin' awfully, an' if it am good for de 
 rheumatics, I guess it would be good for corns. 
 
 Sister P. 0, yes, it am mighty good for the — hie — corns. ^ {takes a drink 
 then hands it to Bones) It will do your corns — hie — good. Try some of it. 
 
 Bones. I know dat will do my corns good, for I am beginnin' to feel it in 
 my — hie — toes already, {sits bottle down beside him. Sister P. takes the bot- 
 tle unobserved by him, and empties it and sits it back. 
 
 Sister P. I say, Brodder Bones, what did you — hie — come here for — hie 
 — any way ? 
 
 Bones. Well, now, if dat don't — hie — beat de dickens. When — hie — I 
 come here, dey say "what'd come here for?" — hie — an' when I go away 
 dey say, "when you comin' — hie — back ?" What'd I come here for, let me 
 see. Why I come to baptize that — hie — child ob yours, {takes up the empty 
 bottle turns it up and sits it dotvn again] I say sister — hie — Paxey, habn't 
 you got some more — hie — ob dat medicine around here ? I think it — hie — 
 does my corns good. 
 
 Sister P. {gives him turpentine bottle) Here's some more, I think. 
 
 Bones, {drinking) Am it? it don't hab — hie — de same taste, any way. 
 
 Sister P. Don't it ? Well I — hie — can't help that. But I guess we had 
 better — hie — get that child baptized. 
 
 Bones, {suddenly jumps up) Oh, my — hie — stomach is out of order. 
 
 {runs o/f R. 1 E. 
 
 Sister P. I wonder what in — hie — de name ob skience eber took dat man 
 off — hie — so suddenly ? I wanted to hab — hie — dat child baptized before he 
 "Went. 
 
 Jim. Why, yovx old fool, mai^imy, his--hic- legs took him off so suddenly. 
 
 Sister P. 0, yes, I know dat, but what prompted his legs to take him off 
 am a mystery to me — 0, I hab made a mistake an' gib de preacher turpen- 
 tine instead ob my rheumatic medicine. But I.wish he had baptized dat 
 child before he went. 
 
HOW SISTER PAXET GOT HER CHILD BAPTIZED. 7 
 
 Jim, Yes, mammy, but you see, sircumstancea won't permit, they 
 wouldn't in hjs case, any way, not when he had swallowed a pint ob tur- 
 pentine, (aside) I'll surprise mammy, when she lays down to take her 
 evening nap, I'll get the baby and baptize it while she am asleep. 
 
 Sister P. You Jim, go an' see after dat child. 
 
 V (staggers and falls on front of stage — sleeps. 
 
 Jim. Dat am a curious place dat mammy hab picked on to take her nap. 
 
 Sister P. {in her sleep) Ob, my stomach's — hie — out of order. 
 
 Ji7n. Yes, dat am what dat preacher said. I guess a dose out ob dat bot- 
 tle dat she gib df' preacher might ease her. (gets the bottle and stands over 
 her as if to pour it in her face) 0, mammy don't you want a dose ? It will 
 relieve you, I. know. Well now, I don't think it would be any harm to gib 
 her a dose any way, I believe it would do her good, she gib it to the preach- 
 er, an' she always said, "to do to others as you would hab 'em do to you," 
 an' when she gib de preacher a dose ob dis turpentine, I — hie — don't think 
 it would be any harm to gib her a dose according to her own rule, (gets 
 bottle and stayids over her again) 0, mammy, you had better — hie — hab a 
 dose, it will do you good. 
 
 Sister P. {on floor unable to move) Not any — -hie — more, I thank you. 
 
 Jim. Well, mammy, if you won't hab any, you can go to sleep, I don't 
 care, {aside) I'll let mammy get good and sound asleep, an' den I'll — hie 
 — baptize dat little brudder ob mine. I guess mammy am sound enough 
 asleep to proceed with dat baptizen. She said she wanted it dipped and de 
 preacher said a pail ob wnter would almost do, an' I am goin' to beat de 
 preacher, I am goin' to make it do. I guess I had better bring it in here 
 an' save making a slop in de parlor. {exit R. 
 
 Enter Jim, R., with pail of vjater and large rag baby. 
 
 Jim. Well, I hab got back — hie— but de baby am asleep, well, I don't 
 care if it does wake it. Well, here goes, {holds it up as if to dip it) 0, I 
 neber heard mammy say what she wanted it — hie — called, but rieber mind 
 I'll call it somethin'. Now let me see — hie — General Georgo-Wasnington- 
 Grantr-Davis-Lincoln-Ulyssus-Hayes-Tilden-Paxy. 1 reckon dat will be 
 name enough, if it ain't, mammy can call it ober again. Well here goes. 
 (holds <t up by the fret, and dip for each name, the first Uip the baby squeaks, 
 but he hits it on the floor and quiets it, at the last dip leaves it sticking in pail, 
 head downward) Now it can soak awhile, an' if mammy don't — hie — think 
 that it am done good enorgh — hie — she can hab it done ober again. 
 
 Sister P. (loaking) Whare am dat child ? 
 
 Jim. (pointing to child) Dare it am. ' I've been bapiizen' it, an' I left it 
 there to soak. 
 
 Sister P. (sees baby) Git out ob dis in about three seconds. 
 
 (seizes the broom and rims after Jim, who takes the baby as he runs. 
 Jim. Come on little brudder. (Sister Paxey pursues Jim around stage as 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
AMES' SERIES OF 
 
 STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, 
 
 ..A. 
 
 FIFTEEX CEXTS E:iCH. 
 
 ^^^ A Full Descriptive Catalogue free to any one. "^f. 
 
 A Des[)erate Game 
 A Capital -Match 
 An lJnha]»i>y Vav: 
 A Ticket JiLcnve 
 A Koiiiantic Attaohnieut 
 A Day Well Spent 
 A Pel of the iublio 
 Arrah DeBiiUi!;)i 
 An Unvveh'onie Return 
 Alarmingly lSusj)ieii)U3 
 A Lite's Kevenge 
 At Last 
 Adrift 
 
 An Awful Ciiniinal 
 Briiranils of Calabria 
 Better Half 
 (Japtain Smith 
 Coming Man 
 Did 1 Dream it 
 Domestic Felicity 
 Der Two Su Uprises 
 Driven to the Wall 
 Deuce is in Him 
 False Friend 
 Fetter Lane to Gravesend 
 Give Me My U'lie 
 How He Did it 
 Hints on Elucution 
 Handy Andy 
 
 How Stout You're Getting 
 Henry ^ii'anden 
 Hans', the Dutch d. P. 
 Hamlet 
 
 Hunter of the Alps (Law 
 
 How to Tame Your Mother-in- 
 In the Wrong Box 
 Jotin Smith 
 doe's Visit 
 
 Lady Audley's Secret 
 Laily of Lyons 
 •Life's Revenge 
 Mr. and Mrs. Pringle 
 My Heart's in the Highlands 
 My Wife's Relations 
 Man and Wite 
 Mother's Fool 
 Mistletoe Bough 
 Miller of Derwent Water 
 
 Kot So Bad After All 
 
 Not as Deaf us He Seems 
 
 On the sly 
 
 Obedience 
 
 Out in ttie Streets 
 
 Paddy Miles' Boy 
 
 Poaohei's Doom 
 
 Painter of Ghent 
 
 Rock Allen the Oriihau 
 
 Restuied 
 
 Spy of Atlanta, lb cts. 
 
 Slocks Up Sto(;ks Down 
 
 S[»ort with a Spoi'tsmau 
 
 Schna]''j>s 
 
 So)ne body's Xobody 
 
 Saved 
 
 Sham Pi'ofessor 
 
 'Ihe Sj»y c<t Atlanta, 25 ets. 
 
 The Lady of Lyons 
 
 Tiie Mudio 
 
 The Vow of the Ornani 
 
 Tlie Belter Half 
 
 The Brigands of Calabria 
 
 The Serf 
 
 The Poacher's Doom 
 
 The Hunter of the Al2)S 
 
 Thiity-Thiee Ne.xt Birthday 
 
 The fainter of Ghent 
 
 The Mistletoe Bough 
 
 'L'he Miller ot Derwent Water 
 
 The Bewitched Closet 
 
 That Mysterious Bundle 
 
 The Two T. J's. 
 
 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room 
 
 Thiee Glasses a Day 
 
 That Boy Sam 
 
 The False Friend 
 
 The Sham Pro.essor 
 
 The Reward of Crime 
 
 The Deuce is in Him 
 
 The Coming Man 
 
 Twain's Dodging 
 
 Vow of the Ornani 
 
 When Women Weep 
 
 Won at Last 
 
 Wooing Under Difiiculties 
 
 Wrecked 
 
 WLicli Will He Marry 
 

 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 OUR B VSIXESS- WL 
 
 .r-^.:^^-. 016 103 956 1 
 
 TLA TS. We sell everything in the line of di'amas and farces, and call 
 tho attention of our numerous ]>:itrons to our own list. We think it em- 
 braces play which will suit either professional or amateur companies. If 
 however you need something, published elsewhere, do not hesitate to send 
 us your order.s — our stock is very large, aiid we fill pronjptly.— Stocks of 
 every publisher on hand. 
 
 LETTERS 0-PJiVQC/JitF answered, promptly, and we solicit oorrespond- 
 .ence. 1? the business upon which you write concerns you alone, enclose a 
 3 cent stamp fi'r reply. Amateurs who are puzzled upon auy questions 
 ■rehitive to the stage will be ausv.'ered explicitly, and to the best of our abil- 
 ity. 
 
 ' MANUSCRIPT TL AYS. Parties who have Mss. to dispose of should 
 write to us. We will publish whatever may be meritorious, on terms which 
 ■will be satisfactory. 
 
 SHEET' MUSIC. Orders for sheet music, or music books will be re- 
 ceived and filled as promptly as possible. 
 
 C^4!r/4XO(7C'i!^S^ will be sent free to any address. Send a postal card, 
 with your address, and tiie catalogue will be sent by the next mail. 
 
 HOW TO ORDER. It would perhaps seem to every one that any di- 
 rections as to 'how to order' plays was entirely sui)erfluous ; but not so. 
 We have many instances, and remember to have been severely censured by 
 parties, some cf whom failed to sign their name to their order, or failed to 
 write the state, etc. In the first place, begin your order Avith the name of 
 your post olHce, county and state. If you order from our list, it is not nec- 
 essary to designate, only by giving the name of the pipy ; but if from the 
 lists of other publishers, state the publishers name, if you know it. Do 
 not write your letters of inquiry on the same sheet with your orders, and 
 make the order ali'-ai/.<i as brief as possible. When complete<i do not fail to 
 sign your nn7ne verj/ plain Ij/.. Attention to these rules will 'usure the filling 
 of your orders, by return mail. Postage stamps of the denomination of 1, 
 2 aiid 3 cents, will be taken in any amount less than $3.00. 
 ■ PLATS TO SUIT COMPANIES. Amateur companies frequently have 
 trouble ill procuring Plays well adapted to their wants, frequently ordering 
 I>erhap3 five dollar's worth in single copies, before anything suitable can 
 be found. All this can be done away wiih. Our catalogue embraces play- 
 suitable for any and all companies, andif our friends will write to us, state- 
 irtg the requirements of their coiuj)anies, there need be n*^ trouble, in this 
 line at least, if a temperance society wants plays, we have something for 
 them. If a company wants something which is very funny, we can suit 
 them. In. fact, we have dramas, farces, tragedies and comedies Avhich ^oill 
 suit you. Enclose 15 cents per copy, for as many copies as you may need, 
 iiiiid we guarantee to suit you, if you will state the size of your company, 
 aifd whetli r best adopted to the serious or funny. Give us a trial at least. 
 
 MAGNESIUM TABLEA U LIGHTS. There is scarcely a person who 
 has not been annoyed by the smoking of colored fires, which are so often 
 used on tableaux, and whole scenes in dramas have Veen ruined by the 
 coughing and noise always attendant on their use. We earnestly recom- 
 mend the use of the Magnesium lights. They can be ignited with a common 
 match, and burn with wonderful brilliancy. There is no danger in their use; 
 they make no smoke and are cheap. Price, 25 cents each, by mail, post 
 paid. Those who do not know how to burn them, will be instructed by 
 ad<lressing the publisher. i