.P3SS S2'°^^°^GRES ° 014 528 288 3 • U^ll: n. PR 5189 .P3 S5 1827 Copy 1 ZiOPSS AKP TIVBliKirSS' SDZTZOXr. No. XII. A COJMCEDir, IN TWO ACTS'. wiTa A POKTZt AZT OF THIS LATB XKEB,. SimKH. THE PIATS CATlEFtJLtT CORRECTED FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS OF THE PUILADELPHIA THEATRE, BY M LOPEZ, PROMPTEB. PHILADELPHM: PtlBtlSHED BX F. C. WE:>rTSS, AND ASH & MASOIf : P. THOMPgOX, WASHIJTGTON: H. W. BOOl, BALTIMORE: E. M. MURDEN, ASD L. OODET, NEW TORK, FOR THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO BB HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS IN THE UNITED STATES. PRICE TO NON-SUBSCRIBERS, FIFTT CENTS, At the commencement of our undertaking, we pledged ourselves to the public, to spare no expense to render the work worthy of their notice i and in presenting the fifth number to our friends and patrons, we trust they will allow we have redeemed our pledge. The engravings are executed by Longacre and Durand, from paintings by Neagle, taken expressly for this work, and which we feel a proud satisfaction in being able to pronounce equal, if not superior, to the portraits prefixed to Oxberry's EngUsh Drama. In the typographical department of the work, we have endeavoured to remedy those faults which were so much complained of, and hope to improve with every succeeding number. The delay which has taken place was the necessary consequence of an undertaking so arduous and expensive. It has arisen solely from the difficulty of procuring the plates from the hands of the engravers at th& stated time ; and inconvenient as it has been, it will be productive of good, in enabling us to guard against disap- pointment in future. Those only who have been engaged in the duties of publication, can form an idea of the difficulty we have encountered, and the disadvantages we have laboured under; having successfully combatted, and in a great measure surmounted ^hese, the publication will proceed with despatch and regularity. TZSRMS. A Number will be published every four weeks, and oftener If possible, embellished with a portrait every way equal to those already before the public, at thirty-seven and a half cents to sub- scribers, and fifty cents to non-subscribers. Each Number to be paid for on delivery. A few impressions of each plate will be printed on fine paper 'for the purpo?^ of frjiming*. / The late Mr. Burke having introduced this excellent Comedv to the notice <.f the Philadelphia aud.ence, the proprietor feels confident he cannot better ^-'^S'' J'^ duty to his patrons than by prefixing h.s Ukeness to a piece whiC' '- received such unqualified approbation on every representation. TJHDE JL.Ai.TJE M^ MWMMM Dxa-wTL&EiLgraved-bjr JW. Steel fiom a Sfetclilrsr J.Woo-1 (, Zop^z SC Womyss 'JEdMoiv . EnUrU accordino to Jet oF Conor e.^s ^ IS ^\iay oFAprlllSZl bv F.CW^mvss oFFmrtsvlvm'^ tOPB-ZAWB "WEMYSS' HDITIOIT. COITTAIKISG THE MOST POPULAR PLAYS, t^s they are performed at the Philadelphia Theatre: CAREFULLY CORRECTED AND PUBLISHED FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS ; AND ACCOMPANIED WITH E:,ZKSX7ESSES of DI3TZX7&UI3ZI:EI> PSnrORMERS IN CHARACTERS, ENGRAVED FROM PORTRAITS EXECUTED FOR THE WORK, BY EMINENT ARTISTS. BY M, LOPEZ, PROMPTEP, OP THE PHILADELPHIA AND BALTIMORE THEATUES. FHILADELPHM: rHLISHED BT F. C. WETMYSS, AND ASH & MASON: P. THOMPSON, WASHINGTON: H. W. BOOL, BALTIMo're: E. M. ?IUai)EN, AND L. GODET, NEW TOUK, FOR THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO RE HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS IN THS UNITED STATES. 1827 Eastern District of Pennsylvania, to xcit: BE IT REMEMBERED, that on the third day of April, in the FiUieth year of the Independence of the United States of America, A. D. 1828, Mathias Lopez and Francis C. IFnmjss, of the said District, have deposited in this office, the title of a Book, the right uhereo4' they claim as proprietors, in the words following, to wit : — *' Lopez anil U'emyss' Edition. Acting American Theatre, containing the most popu- *' lar plays, as they are perforrricd at the Philadelphia Theatre; crtrefully corrected and ** published from the Prompt Books; and accompanied ivith likentts'ses of distinguished *' Peiformers, in characters, engraved from portraits executed for the xvork^ by emi' *♦ nent artists. By M. Lopez, Prompter, of the Philadelphia and Baltimore Theatres.'''' In Conformity to the Act of tlie Congress of the United States, entitled, " An Act for tlie Encouragement of Learning, by securing the Copies of Maps, Charts, and Books, to the Authors and Proprietors of such Copies, during the times therein men- tioned." And also to the Act, entitled, " yVn Act sui)plenientary to An Act, entitled • An Act for the Encouragement of Learning, by securing the copies of Maps. Charts and Books, to the Authors and Proprietors of such Copies during the times tlierein meJiiioued, and extending the Benefits thereof to the Arts of designing, engraving, and etching historical and other Prints,' " D. CALDWELL, Clerk of the Eastern Distritt of Pennsylvania. liOPXiz AKD vrnmirssy ebitiozi^. m)t Mttins ^tmvitmx STijeatrr* ^^^ fei m ^^^^ IN TWO ACTS. c WITH A FOXITRAXT OF SHIS XiATS MS.. BtTBKS. THE PLATS CABEFULLT COTIIIECTEP FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS OP THT, PHILADELPHIA THEATRE, BY M. LOPEZ, PROMPTER. PHILJIDELPHM, PURLISHETl BT I". C. WEMTS^, AND ASH &, MASON : V. THOMPSON, WASHIKGTON : H. W. BOOL, BALTIMORE : E. M. MURDEN, AND L. GODEY, NEW TdRK, EOR THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO BE HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS IN THE UNITED STATES. PRICE TO NON'SUBSCRIBEES, FIFTT CENTS, \ ■■■• -^ -/ ^ JESPER HABDIJTG, PRINTER. PERSONS REPRESENTED. 1825. Philadelphia. Mr. Jefferson. >Ir. Simpson, -*: Mr. Tfemysa. Mr. Bromley, " Mr. BimatU Mr. Foster, / Mr. Murray, Servant, .... Mrs. Wood. Mrs. Simpson, r» 7, Mrs. Barley. Mrs. Bromley, ,^ ^ j „ Mrs. Anderson, Mrs. Fitzallan, • r r a- . . . Mrs. J. Jefferson, Madame La Trappe, ?§TAGE DIRECTIONS. By n. H is meant Rig-ht Hand. i. H Left Hand. 3. E... Second Entrance. f' E Upper Entrance. at. D Middle Door. B. I" Door in Flat. n. H. D Right Hand Door. ?-. H. D.. , Left Hand Door. Time ofrepresentatio}^. — 0?%€ hour and forty minutes. SIMPSON & CO, ACT I. Scene I. — Handsome apartment in the house of Simpson *^' Co. Bromley discovered at a table on l. h. of it writing', Brom. {laying down his pen') Ousjht I to pursue this adventure? If I proceed, the destruction of my wife's happiness, and my own, may — pshaw! under my assumed name of Captain Walsingham, what have I to fear? I'll finish my letter, though, like the other?, it may be returned, or unnoticed — {writes') *' and rely on the entire and eternal devotion of your adorer, Charles Wal- singham. — New Hummums." {Folding it) Charles Bromley, of Mincing-lane, merchant, partner in the house of Simpson & Co. and married, transformed into Captain Walsingham! {directing the letter) "To Mrs. Fitzallan, Harley Street." {seals it) There, {rises and comes forward) There's a fatality in this wild adven- ture ! Charmed by a beauty in an opera box, I dog her carriage, and learn that she is a Mrs. Fitzallan, widow of an officer lately dead, in India. Under pretext of arranging some business for her, in which I find she is concerned with the India Company, I call on this Mrs. Fitzallan } — am cursed coldly received by Mrs. Fitz- 8 SIMPSON & CO. allan; call again, and am completely cut by Mrs. Fitz- allan; make my bow, and resolve to think no more of Mrs. Fitzallan: stroll into the exhibition, and the first portrait I see is that of the lovely, lovely, Mrs. Fitz- allan! 1 contrive to i>;et a miniature copy of the portrait, and conceal it by a secret slide in my pocket book. {pulls out the pocket-book, mid contemplates thepor- trait^ 'Tvvas rash; but who could behold such beauty and {kissing the picture.) Enter Fostek, l. h, Fos. Pray, sir, will you Brom. {hastily closi7ig his pocket-book) Well, Fos- ter, what now? what's the matter? Fos. Young Mr. Lovemore is in the count ing-house, and desires to know, sir, whether you will advance him the thousand pounds he spoke to you about? Brom. What? I advance money to enable a married man to supply the extravagances of a mistress! Fos. You know, sfr, we have consignments on his account, from his estates at St. Domingo, to four times that amount. Brom. That is nothing to the point, Mr. Foster, However, you may refer him to my partner, Mr. Simp- son; he may find him less scrupulous. [Exit FOSTHK, L. H. {Re-opening his pocket-book) What eyes! what a complexion! what expre«!sion! Many a pocket-book on change is crammed with riches; but where find one that clasps a treasure equal to this! After all, am I very, very much to blame ? Where is the husband who — My partner loves his wife dearly; but spite of his demure looks, and rigorous principles, even he, I'll answer for it, has some little indiscretions that — here he comes — I'll sound him, and perhaps I may make him a useful confident. Enter Simpson, l. h. Simp. Good news, Bromley, good news: the Bank has discounted every shilling of our paper. SIMPSON & CO. 9 Brom. Aye, indeed! My dear Simpson, I am de- lighted to hear it. Simp. The firm of Simpson & Co. stands as high as any house in London, and our signature is a bank note, to the very Bank itself. Have not I always told you that our partnership would be a fortune to us? Brom. True, true; and our connexion in commerce ,.s so natural; why, we had a kind of rehearsal of our present partnership in very early days. At school, you know — though Mere, to be sure, you had much the start of me in age, for you were in the highest form when I was in the lowest. Simp. Yes; I left doctor Thwackum's to begin my clerkship, just six months after you came to his aca- demy. Brom. But, though only at Thwackum's together for half a year, you recollect, Simpson, how I made you join me in all my frolics; and now, in business Simp, In business, I grant you, our labours and our profits are pretty equally divided. At school the case was different. I was never a frolicsome boy, and, as you say, considerably your elder; but, somehow or other, whenever you opened an account of mischief, our master always drew upon my shoulders for the un- settled balance of drubbings. Brom. Well, in business, at least, we are more exact, and if we are fortunate we may fairly boast that we de- 'Jerve to be so. Attentive, industrious Simp. Always looking to the main chance. Brom. Domestic in our tastes. Simp. Economical in our habits. Brom. Neither of us run-abouts, nor men of in- trigue. Simp. Faithfully attached to our wives, and loving them solely and entirely, as they love us. Brom. Inhabiting the same house, in peace and har- mony; not the slightest altercation. Simp, Altercation! your wife is mildness itself; so confiding too, in your attachment to her. 10 SIMPSON & C0. Bro'in. And your's! Simp. My wife? she is a treasure! but, still, for all that. Brom, For all what ? Simp. You know, Bromley, I have no secrets from you: my wife is a little — Mrs. S. is rather too suscepti- ble on the score of jealousy. Brom,. To be plain with you, I have sometimes fancied so: Now between ourselves, my dear fellow, have not you given her some cause to yes, yes, you have. Simp. What, I? never. Brom. Now! Ha! ha! ha! Come, come, Simpson. Simp, {ivith emphasis) No — now — poz Brofn. Now I like your making a mystery of it to me. Men, you know, are not remarkably severe to- wards each other — besides, if you had, where would be the great harm of it? Simp, A married man! and ask me where's the harm of it! Brom. You love your wife, I know, and study her happiness; but you would not have me believe that when a little adventure happens to fall in your way — Simp. Harkee, Mr. Bromle)^, a good husband never goes where little adventures are likely to fall in his way. Brom. (aside) 'Tis lucky I did not trust my secret to him. Simp. A husband like a merchant, is bound to fulfil his engagements. Mrs. S. in marrying me, drew upon me for my fidelity for lifej I accepted her draft, and 'tis my duty to honour it. Brom. But, unlike bills of exchange, the longer the date of one's matrimonial engagements, the more ditfi- cult they are to provide for. But enough ; I knew^ your sentiments as you are acquainted with mine, and all I have just now said to you Simp. Was intended as a hoax, perhaps ? Brom. Nothing more. SIMPSON & C©. 11 Simp. I don't like such hoaxing. — No, no; what. I was before marriage, 1 still am: the sworn enemy to nonsense. 1 was born for the countitig-hoiise and a steady life; and, even in my younger days, whilst others were ga.iding about to Vauxhall, and play-houses, and running their heads into all manner of scrapes and trou- bles, 1 was usefully employed in working decimals and calculating exchanges. Brom. Ha! ha! ha! Perhaps I never met you on a certain fine summer's evening taking a sentimental ram- ble along with Simp. Andwhatthen? She had butjust come up with me in the fields, and was asking me the way to Isling- ton; — but didn't you step in, like a friend, and whisk her away, assuring me you did it for my good ? But come, let us to the counting-house, and answer our Lis- bon letters, Brom. And after that I'll treat you with a walk t© the West End before dinner. Simp, impossible, I have business at the custom- house, and you must stay at honie to deliver up the securities to Mr. Tradely, who will call this morning, as per appointment. Y ;u may as well t;ike them at once: — here they are. [^Gives papers to Brotnley.^ Brom. Very well: — Mr. Tradely's securities; — there they are, safe, till he calls. \^Puts them, into his pocket- hook.'] Simp. By the by, your treat with a w^alk to the West End; — is it to drag me all ihe way from Mincing- lane to liarley-street ? Brom, [alarined] What do you mean? [asidel Can he have discovered ? Simp. Do yon remember jiomevveeks ago, how you 3cept me blowing my fingers, in the cutting east wind, nt the end of March, tramping up and dowai, before the •ron rails of a house in Harley-street? B7V)m. [aside] My first visit to Mrs. Fitzallan! Simp. "- Wait at the door, my dear Simpson, I shan't Ijc a second." My nose was as blue as an oran on tang's. 12 SIMPSON k eo. Brom. Wei], well, I didn't detain you long. Simp, Long! and the second time? There was I fretting, and trotting backwards and forwards, looking up at the windows, down into the area, watching every movement at the street door, freezing, shivering, swear- ing — What the deuce have you to do in Harley-street? Brom. Oh! ho! — The recovery of a little debt due to me before we entered into partnership. Simp. Do you expect to lose any thing in that quarter ? Brom. No — not exactly; — but I may wait a long time before my demand^ are satisfied. Simp. Aye, I understand — *'Cail again to-morrow." Well, I wish you success; but if ever you intrap me with you to Harley-street again Ha! here comes your wife. [Bromley, r. h.; Simpson, l. h.] Enter Mrs. Brom- ley, L. H., who crosses over to Bromley. Brom. Returned so soon, my love.^ Mrs. Brom. I've just met with an agreeable sur- prise, Charles. You've often heard me Sjjeak of my old school friend, Marianne. Brom. Well? Mrs. Brom. The last I heard of her was that she was gone to India. Imagine my pleasure, when, just now, on going into my milliner's, there I met my dear Mnrianne. You may suppose, that after so long a sepa- ration, we had m.uch to say to each other. Brom. No doubt. Mrs. Brom. B(jt there was such a crowd at the mil- liner's, we had little time to talk. — I forgot even to ask her where she lived. Brom. That was unlucky; — for how are you to meet again, in this wide world of London ? Mrs. Brom. Oh! I took care of that, for I have en- gaged her to dine. Brom. That was right, my love; whatever contri- butes to your pleasure is agreeable to me. SIMPSON & CO. 13 Mrs. Brom. You are too kind, too attentive to me^ Charles. Brom. Aye ? Mrs. Brom, I should be unjust were I to deny that I am the happiest woman in the work). Simp. Not so fast: one of the happiest, if you please; for I flatter myself that Mrs. S. is equally so. Mrs. Brom. By the by, you and Susan must be of the party. Simp. With great pleasure; and, come — as I am satisfied with our morning's business, 'gad I'll stand treat to a box at the Opera for the evening. Mrs. Brom, Hey-day, Mr. Simpson, you! Simp. Mrs. S. last night dropt a hint that she should like to go, and as gallantry is my but, come, busi- ness before all: let's to the counting-liouse, Bromley, Brom. One kiss at parting, Anna; I'll soon be with you again. Simp. Come, Bromley, come, what the deuce— who thinks of parting kisses when once they are mar- ried ? Come, business before all. [^Exeiint Bromley and Simpson., l. h. Mrs. Brom. Yes, I am, indeed, the happiest of wives. How few among my mariied acquaintances, whose peace is undisturbed by discontents and bicker- ings — by jealousy too often well founded — how blest then, am I, in the possession of a man whose thoughts never wander from his own fire-side. Enter Mrs. Simpson, r. h. Good morning, my dear. Why, bless me, what ails you ? — You seem out of spirits. Mrs. Simp. No, not I. it was late when you came home last niglit? Mrs. Brom. The concert w^as longer than usual. Mrs. Simp. Ah ! me! Vvhile you and Bromley were amusing yourselves at a concert, I was moping alone in the chimney-corner. B 14 SIMPSON & CO. Mrs. Brom. And Mr. Simpson, was not he in the chimney-corner to keep you company ? Mrs. Simp. No, he was busy all the evening in his counting-house, as he said. Mrs. Brom. Well, this evening will make amends to you for the last. I expect an old friend to dinner, you will dine with us, and afterwards we all go to the Opera. It is to your good little man we are indebted for this treat. Mrs. Simp. Ah! my good little man is very obliging. Mrs. Brom, Now, really, you ought to be more thankful to him, considering that he himself is not fond of public amusements. Mrs. Simp. So he says, and I suppose I must believe ]^iiYi — yet he often goes out, very often. Mrs. Brom.. Do you know, my love, I sometimes think you are jealous? Mrs. Simp. No, I am not, nor do I believe I have any cause to be so; yet I wish my husband were less "ond of the counting-house, and more assiduous in his . Uentions to me; — in short, that he would follow the example of yours. Mrs. Brom. Consider that men's characters differ; that Mr. Bromley is, by some years, a younger man than Mrs. Simp. I am aware of that, but Mrs. Brom. But! Surely you delight in tormenting yourself. Mrs. Simp. I am not jealous, but when I look about among our neighbours, men who all adore their wives — ah! my dear! Some through vanity, others from mere inconstancy of character — Why, there's our next-door neighbour, Mr. Honeymoon, who loves his wife to dis- traction, yet was not he seen the other day in a Tilbury with an Opera Dancer ? And as for Mr. Ledger, over the way, who doats upon Mrs. L. — if what the world says be true! Mrs. Brom. But be assured that Mr. Simpson is none of these. SIMPSON & CO. 15 Mrs. Simp. I hope so; but those men, those men, there's no knowing them,beHeve me. Enter a Servant, l. h. Servant. A French lady, calling; herself Madame La Trappe, desires to speak with you, ma'am. Mrs. Brom. With me ? I know no such person. But request her to walk in. Servant ushers in Madame La Trappe, l. h. who has a small, flat, pink lace-box in her hand. Mad. L. Miledi, I have the honneur to salute you. I will to speak wiz Miledi Bromley. Mrs.Bro7n. If you mean Mistress Bromley, madam, I am the person. Mad. L. Mistress, I am your servant— Madame La Trappe, from Paris. \_Madarne here, with a familiar air, draws the table to the front of the stage, for the purpose of displaying her merchandise^ looking cau- tiously about.'] I sell de littel contraband. 1 smuggle de littel marchandise from Paris. I am recommend to you from Miledi Ledger, over de way. I have dead- vantage to sell to her many little ting wat I smuggle, and I sail be proud to take de advanta^ije of you. Mrs. Brom, Pray, ma'am, don't give yourself the trouble Mad. Z. Trouble; mon dieii, mon dieu, is no trouble for so amiable ledi — [turning and curtseying to Mrs. Simpson] for so amiable two leddy — here some lace which was make for Madame La Duchesse; — mon dieu, I not remember myself — here is forty yard, I sell for two guinea. Mrs. Simp. Forty yards for two guineas! Mad, L, For two guinea, one yard. Mrs. Simp. Two guineas a yard! that's extremely dear. Mad. L. 0, madame! — mais miadame is so amiable, I sell it for one guinea. 16 SIMPSON k CO. Mrs. Brom. But this is not one of my amiable morn- ings. — Really, ma'am, we cannot buy any thing to-day. Mad. L. Mais, madame, c^est egal, you sail not buy, but I have much pleasure to make you see. — Here is de veil, it is pretty as one angel. Ha! ha! ha! ha! I tell you. It was a sentiment one great ynilord buy for two hundred guinea for Mam'zelle Pirouette, of de Grand Opera. Ha! ha! ha! Dat poor milord! he give it her to day ; to-morrow she sell it to me, and yesterday I sail sell it to every body else. Mrs. Brom. Once more, ma'am, I must beg you will give yourself no further trouble. Mad. L. [tvhile m,aking tip her parcels'] Dat is veil, madame; I come to-day, because I have to receive fifty pound in de bureau de counting-house down de stair. Mrs. Simp. To receive fifty pounds! Mad. L. Oui, madame, one litlel acceptation of Monsieur Simmson; I receive it of one very pretty lady, beautiful, who buy of me some lace — Madame, Madame — I forget her name, but she live in rue — Harley-street. Mrs. Simp, [crosses to Mrs. Bromley.] A lady ia Harley-street paying for lace with an acceptance of my husband's! Mad, L. You know de gentleman wat live in de counting-house? Mrs. Brom. Yes, we Mrs, Simp, {interrupting her] No, ma'am, no. Do you ? {aside to Mrs. Bromley] Let her speak, my dear, let her speak. Mad. L. I know him — dat is, I only know him from to see him. .Mrs. Simp, Aye, you saw him at the lady's house? Mad. L. 0, no, madame, I will not say so, because it will not be true; beside, if I did see him, I am too discreet — O^monDieic! monDieii! But how I know him, it is so, ha! ha! ha! ha! — It make me laugh when I link {crosses into the centre] Two time I see SIMPSON & CO. 17 him wait at de door, he walk up and be walk down, backward and forward; and he stamp, and he swear, and he look in great rage, like he was jealous, and he look at de window and de door [addressing Mrs. Bromley : then turniiig rapidly to Mrs. Simpson, who is in an agitation of jealousy and anger'] Aha! YOU understand, Madame! Mrs, Simp. Go on, ma'am; pray, go on. Mad, L. De first time I make no attention to him, but when I see him wash too time before de door, I link — ah, ha! Monsieur! Yet you know, madame, dat was only suspect, but when I come to-day touch my fifty pounds — Ha! ha! ha! ha! it is droll; I see de gen- leman w^hat I see walk about before de house of de pretty lady. Mrs. Simp, Are you certain, the gentleman you have just now seen is the same ? Mad, L. 0, madame, wiz his littel sanctify look — Ha! ha! ha! ha! Mrs, Brom. And what does it signify w^hether it be he or not ? Mad. L. Miledi,! beg pardon to derange you; when you sail want de lace, de glove, de rouge, &c. I sail sell you for very littel gain, and you sail not forget Madame La Trappe. [curtseys'] Miledi, I have d'honneur to salute you, I am your very respectable servant, indeed. [Mrs. Bromley follows her to the door] Mon Dieu, mon Dieu, mon Dieu, madame, do not give yourself de pain. I sail call again last week wiz some beautiful dress, as vat you see— and I call tell you more vat please you about the other gentilhomme, in the bureau down stairs, and perhaps comme j'espere anoder little ac- ceptation for fifty pounds de lady will give me for what she is going to buy wiz it — sans fag on, sans adieu — jusqu'au revoir. [Exit, l. h> Mrs. Simp. Well, my dear, what say you to this.? Mrs, Brorn^ Oh, the idle talk of a chattering French dealer in smuggled goods. b2 18 SIMPSON & CO. Mrs. Simp. Idle talk! Then, how comes it that this pretty lady pays for lace with my husband's acceptance? Mrs. Brom, The acceptances of the house are nego- ciated like bank-notes, and, passing from hand to hand, one may have fallen into the possession of the lady in Harley-street. Upon the same grounds I might as rea- sonably suspect Bromley. Mrs. Simp. Bromley, indeed! no, no. — Besides it was not Bromley she recognised in the counting-house. Bromley wasn't **de little sober gentle homme" she twice saw watching the house in a jealous fury. And isn't the gentleman '* with a little sanctify look," as she calls it, the exact description of my husband ? She has said quite enough to satisfy me. Mrs. Brom, Be calm, my dear, all this will be satis- factorily explained to you, and you will be the first to laugh at your suspicions. For the present keep what you have heard a secret from every body, and above all, from your husband, [aside] The hypocritical villain! Mrs, Simp. Well, I'll endeavour, by concealing what I know, to learn more. Nor do you, on any account, mention it to Bromley. Mrs, Brom, Be assured, I will not. Mrs, Simp. The monster! if he be guilty, I promise you, that, before two days has passed over his head, he shall — the cruel monster! I could almost cry with vexa- tion, [bursts into tears — walks up the stage, and comes down again, l. h. of Airs. Bromley when Simp- son is on.'] Mrs. Brom. [aside] Poor Mrs. Simpson! She is really to be pitied, poor thing! Enter Simpson, {gaily) i- h. Simp. So, here you are, Susan, my dear. Business is over for the day, and now I am at your disposal. •Gad, I believe I must begin to copy Bromley, and run ©ut of the counting-house every half hour to visit my wife. Mrs. Simp, {dryly) Indeed, sir! Upon my word — I never before saw you so gallant. SIMPSON k CO. 19 Simp. True, my duck, true; I mean to make amends. Mrs, Si?np, To be plain with you, sir, a little change in your conduct would be very desirable. Mrs. Brorn. {in an under voice, and as if anxious to prevent a quarrel) My love Simp. Well, from this time forward you shall find me quite another thing ; every leisure moment I have shall be yours. Fll act the lover rather than the hus- band. I'll be a downright Romeo, ha! ha! ha! Mrs, Simp. Your determination to reform is rather sudden, sir. Simp. Don't throw cold water over me, my darling; don't you see I'm gay, I'm joyous. On making up my accounts of happiness, I find a large balance of content in my favour, business goes on swimmingly; I've a wife whom I love, and — in short all my little arrangements are mighty comfortable. Mrs. Simp, {aside to Mrs. B.) His little arrange- ments! I congratulate you sincerely on your comfort- able little arrangements, Mr. Simpson. Simp. Mr. Simpson! and sir! this is very strange! what the deuce is the meaning of all this coldness, and formality? Mrs. Simp. Ask that of yourself, sir: look into your heart, and you will there discover the cause. Mrs. B. {checking her.) Simp. Look into my heart? I may look into it for a month, and the chief article I shall find there will be a large stock in hand of love for my Susy Pusey. Mrs, Simp, {aside') The perfidious wretch! Simp. Something is the matter, that's certain; we parted good friends an hour ago: what has happened to put you out of humour, since? {she turns from him, and goes a little up iri a huff) Mrs. Bromley, can you explain? What crotchet has my wife got into her head now? Mrs. Brom. {coldly) 'Tis nothing, sir, nothing — ^twill pass away I hope, {fo Mrs. Simpson, who comes forward) 20 SIMPSON &: CO. Simp, A word, Mrs. Simpson, if you please. You have the good luck to be married to a plain man, who — Mrs. Simp. (Jur?iing quickly upon him) Well, sir, I know I am married to a plain man, and what then? Simp. Why then, madam, he loves you honestly and sincerely, — he does his little utmost, madam, to make you happy, and — and — zounds, madam, what would you have more? Mrs. Simp, (aside) Who would have thought the traitor could carry it off so well. Simp. Come, Susan, give me your hand, and let's have an end of this; and till you have recovered your good temper, you had better retire to your own room. {^Eccetcnt Simpson and Mrs. Simpson, r. h., she re- luctantly giving him her hand. Mrs, Brom. Who would have suspected him? Hea- vens! — Should the man corrupt my Charles! Nothing so dangerous for a husband as the society of persons of Mr. Simpson's character. Here he comes. Enter Bromley, l. h. Well, Charles, you know what is going forward. Brom* No, love, what? Mrs. Brom. Poh! poh! you know it as well as I do. Brom. Upon my honour I cannot even guess what you allude to. Mrs. Brom. 'Tis all discovered! Brom. [alarmed'] Discovered! — Does she suspect — Mrs. Brom. About Simpson, you know. Brom. Simpson! Mrs. Brom. His poor wife knows all about it. Brom* About what, my love? Mrs. Brom. His intrigues. Brom. His intrigues! Simpson's intrigues? poh! impossible, llaughing.] Mrs. Brom. Nay, 'tis useless, now, to pretend igno- rance; we have just learnt what you might have known long ago. SIMPSON & CO. 21 Bronx. I have known ! what have I known ? Mrs. Brom. That he has a misti*ess. Brom. What, Simpson ! The philosopher, the sober, steady — ha! ha! ha! that's excellent ! Come, tell me all about it, my love, tell me all about it. Mrs. Brom. 0, my dear Charles, Pm delighted, I perceive by your manner, that you know nothing of it. I was fearful that you were in his confidence, and, to say the truth, that would have made me uneasy. Brom. I in his confidence! No, no, he knows me too well; I should have lectured him roundly had he hinted — [asidel 'Gad I was afraid I had been found out m5^self. Mrs. Brom. Only imagine — a French dealer in smug^ gled lace — a Madame La Trappe who had just been here, not knowing Susan, related to us — but what am I doing? Simpson, as yet, knows nothing of the dis- covery we have made, and I have promised Susan to keep the secret till Brom. Well, but you may tell me, Anna; — I long to hear all the particulars — trust me — I'm dumb, you know. Mrs. Brom. No, no, no, and I am to blame for having mentioned it to you at all. Broin. Who would ever have thought this! And Simpson of all men in the world. Mrs. Brom. Really — ha! ha! ha! — really, of the two partners, one would rather have suspected you than him. Brom. Ah! nothing is so little to be trusted in as ap- pearances. Mrs. Brom, And now, Charles, my love, I've a fa- vour to ask of you. Mr. Simpson, no doubt, is a very honourable man in business, very correct in trade; but you are a younger man than he, and I seriously entreat you not to go out too frequently with him, there's no knowing how he may mislead you — it may be catching. Brom. You have nothing to fear on that score — I know him now. 22 SIMPSON & CO. Mrs. Brom. There's a good boy. Now Pll just go to poor Susan, and do what I can to comfort her. Brom. Do, love; but don't remain long away from me. Mrs. Brom. No, dear, I'll soon return. Ha! what a happy woman am I. \^Exit Mrs. Bromley^ r. h. Brora. So, so, Mr. Simpson, you have your little frolics abroad as well as another, I find. The hypo- critical cur with his long face and crabbed morality this morning, when I but merely hinted at the possibility of — but, really, this is too bad! an avowed mistress! My case is very diiferent: I regard my wife sincerely. So that should I even form a little attachment with Mrs. Fitzallan, there is no danger of its disturbing my domestic peace. Besides, as she knows me only as Captain Walsingham, and — oh, hang it, I'm not so in- discreet as my partner. Ha! here he comes, the rogue. I possess his secret, he is ignorant of mine, so I'll make the best of my advantage, and torment his little sly soul out. Enter Simpson, r. h. Simji. There she sits, mumping and sulking, speak- ing half words, and — Ah! Bromley — there's my duck, in the temper of a hyena, and I'll just ask you why? Brom. You needn't ask me ! — you know well enough. Simp. I know! I'll be bound she herself does not know; but woman's whims Brom. Hark ye, my dear fellow: I am your friend; you know I am; as you would be mine, under similar circumstances. I have promised my wife to say no- thing to you about the matter, but let me put you on your guard, [looks cautiously around, and then V)hispers'] It is a curst awkward business — it is all dis- covered. Simp. Discovered ! What's discovered ? Who has discovered ? What's the discovery ? Brom. Your wife, poor thing — she knows all about it. Simp, Does she ? SIMPSON & CO. 23 JBrom. Yes, she does; — and she has told mine. Simp, And, pray, what has she told her; — and what do they both know? Brom. That confounded Madame La Trappe! — Why didn't you biibe her to hold her tongue? — She has been here and blabbed the whole affair. Simp. And who the devil is Ma-Iame La Trappe ? Brom. Why, the French smuijgler, you know. Simp. Curse me if I know any smuggler — French or English. Is every body out of their senses to-day? Brom. No, sir, no, we are all m our senses. But Madame La Trappe, w^hom you affect not to know, yet who knows you perfectly well, has exposed all your peccadilloes. In short, she has divulged to your wife, that, in a certain sly coriier you understand. Simp. No, I don't understand. What do you mean by a sly corner? Brom> W'^hy, not to mince the matter, you keep a girl. Simp, I keep a girl! — Let me tell you, Mr. Brom- ley, this is a bad joke, a damn'd bad joke, and I don't allow of josting on such a subject. Brom. Oh, no, to be sure; — it was but this morning you said to me, with that puritanical face of yours — '^My marriage promise is as sacred as my acceptance." Simp. So it is, sir. Brora. Egad, then, if this is your way of honouring 3'our conjugal acceptances, you'll soon lose your credit in the bank of Hymen. Simp. Plague upon you and Hymen, and Madame La Trappe, and the whole firm of you! Brom. Nay, if you are angry, I have no more to say. But, now, coolly, the best of us may go astray, and if you can't help being such a terrible Turk after the wo- men Simp. A Turk ! I, a Turk ! Brom. Aye, 'tis constitutional with you, I suppose: — why, then, face it out to your wife, and swear you're innocent; but denying the fact to me— man to man — poh ! 'tis ridiculous. 24 SIMPSON & CO. Simp. Mr. Bromley, for the last time, T beg you'll drojj the subject; I am not to be made a butt for your ribaltiry. [drosses to l. h. Brom. I'm done: I have acquitted mysf-lf of a task of friendship, and have but one word to add — you are watched, dogged, and surrounded with spies; but since you wont let me help you out of the scrape — go — I abandon you to your unhappy fate. Enter Foster, l. h. Fos. A letter, sir; the bearer says it is of the greatest importance. Simp, [opening if] Ha! from our bankers. \reads'\ " Private. We have strong reason to believe that the house of Snakeley & Co. which is indebted to yours upwards of eight thou>and pounds, is on the point of stopping payment.'^ — So here's wherewithal to put an end to your jesting. Brom. Unlooked-for disaster! What's to be done? — Three thousand, money lent. Simp. We wanted but this to complete the pleasure ©f the morning. Brom. [in the greatest agitation] Go to them, Simp- son — no — I'll go myself — Foster, send for a coach — [crosses to l. h.] or, stop, it is but a step, I shall go faster a-foot — be calm, my dear fellow, be calm — Fos- ter, make out a statement of their — no, rather [taking Simpson'' s hand] leave it to me, I'll talk to them — I'll see what's to be done with them — I'll return instantly. [going, L. H. Simp, [calling after hi/7i] Hold ! hold ! the securi- ties I gave you, and which iVIr. Tradely is to call for. Brom. Aye, true, the securities — at such a moment as this, I hardly — what the devil have I done with them ? Simp. You put them in your pocket. Brom. Did I ? I — I'm so flustered — [feeling in his pockets'] there, take book and all — Oh, here they are; SIMPSON & CO. 25 you'll find them in this, and — [^ives Simpson the pocket-booJe] this is a dreadful blow, but Pll see what can be done. Come with me, Foster, come. [Exit Bromley^ in the greatest agitation, followed by Foster, l. h. ] Simp. A charming morning, indeed! a quarrel with my wife about nothing, and a failure in business to the amount of eight thousand pounds: Oh, 1 begin to per- ceive, that in matrimonial, as well as in mercantile, speculations, when one comes to make out the account of profit, a plaguy deal must be set down to per contra creditor. [Exit k. h. >:nd or ACT i ^6 SIMPSON & CO. ACT II. Scene continues. Enter Simpson, r. h. Simp. Thanks to the intercession of Mrs. Bromley, I am friends with my wife: she has pardoned me, as she is pleased to express it, though Pm as innocent as a new-born babe. This was our first quarrel, and pray heavens it may be the last; for, from this little speci- men, I am certain that when a man's better half is dis- contented — t'other half has a damnable time of it. Enter Mrs. Bromley, very gravely, r. h. My dear Mrs. Bromley, how much am I obliged to you: but for you I had been a lost man. Mrs. Brom. Mr. Simpson, I am glad I find you alone. I desire a little private conversation with you. Simp. With me ? Mrs. Brom. Pray, look whether anyone is within hearing, close the door, [Simpson looks surprised at Mrs. Bromley'' s peremptory manner, but goes to l. h. door., looks out, and closes ?7] Now, hand me a chair. Simp, [placing the chairs'] What is all this to lead to! [aside.'] Mrs. Brom. {after a short pause, and very seriously] Mr. Simpson you know my regard for your wife; you know I consider Susan and you as our best friends, and it is natural I should take a deep interest in all that concerns you. Simp. You're a kind soul; if it hadn't been for your interference just now Mrs. Brom. Well, well, it has had its effect; and if you are not too far gone in your wickedness, [Simpson starts] I would prevent the recurrence of the unhappy disagreement your misconduct has occasioned Simp, My misconduct! it is an invention, a libel, a calumny, and I never in my life SIMPSON & CO. £r Mrs, Brom. I had prepared myself for all you would <^ay, Mr. Simpson, but listen to me as your friend: the past will be forgotten, but for the future — pray, jjray, Mr. Simpson, let the scenes of this day serve you as a warning; and do not you, either by bad counsel, or pernicious example, corrupt my poor Charles. Simp, I corrupt him ! I ! — don't drive me stark staring mad. [staris up in agitation.'] Enter Mrs. Simpson, r. h. Mys. Simp, \endeavouring to suppress her passign'] Very pretty — sweetly pretty, indeed — I congratulate vou — I — I admire your taste, Mr. Simpson. Simp. My taste, in what? Mrs. Simp. She is very handsome, I must allow. It would be diiFicult to make a better choice. Simp. Again! — the same eternal, infernal subject! {aside, and as if startled by a sudden thoiighf] Lord help me ! Is it possible I could have gone astray with- out knowing it? Mrs. Simp. Twenty, or two and twenty at the ut- most; blue eyes, ruby lips, complexion like a rose ■ Simp, [unable any longer to suppress his anger'] Madam, what is your reason for all this ? Am I to be made the laughing-stock of the whole house ? During this entire day, have I been worried by one or the other. Can there be any thing like appearances against me ? Let me see, on Tuesday I supped with my old aunt, Wed ncsday— Mrs, Simp. Don't be at the trouble of inventing ex- cuses. Simp. Not, I madam; I shan't condescend to justify myself: — flesh and blood can bear this no longer. Do what you please, say what you please, call me what you will: — and since you are determined to be jealous, hang me if I hav'n't a great mind to take the trouble of giving you cause, Mrs. Simpson ! [crosses during the speech, and exit, r. h. Mrs. Brom. [aside] His manner convicts him. £8 SLMPSON & CO. Mrs. Simp. 'Tis the way with them all: when they have nothing to say in their defence, they assume the airs of the injured party. Mrs. Brom. But, my dear, what's the meaning of this altercation ? Mrs. Simp. The profligate! Imagine, that just now I saw his red morocco pocket-book lying on his writing- table, I know not what impulse prompted me to open it, but finding nothing in it except papers of business, securities, I believe, I was going to replace it, when I perceived a spring in the corner; I prest upon it, re- moved a secret slide, and there, to my horror, dis- covered Mrs. Brom, I^etters ? Mrs. Simp, Worse ! the creature's portrait. Mrs. Brom. Abominable! [aside\ Charles shall positively dissolve partnership! Mrs. Si?np. She is handsome enough, but so much the worse. And he! To hear him, one would think his whole soul is wrapt up in me; but I know him now. I have found him out at last, the perfidious monster! Mrs. Brom. You have done well to conceal from him your discovery. Mrs. Simp. 0, my dear, had I mentioned it to him, he would have sworn it was the portrait of some six- teenth cousin in Yorkshire, or a lady to whom he paid his addresses in his youth. Mrs* Brom. No doubt of it. Mrs. Simp, But I'll confound him yet. I replaced the book just where he left it. But their letters — their letters! No doubt, the dear souls, occasionally write to each other. I'll contrive to obtain possession of some of their tender epistles, and we shall then hear what the wretch will have to say for himself. Mrs, Brom, Susan, my love, instead of anger and reproaches, the common error of offended wives, en- deavour to reform him by kind and gentle remon- strances. Except in hearts utterly depraved, these wild attachments are seldom of long duration when op- posed by the disinterested affection of a wife. SIMPSON & CO; 29 Mrs, Simp, True, true, I'll 1 know not what Pll do. But, here comes Mr. Bromley. Ah! Anna, you are a happy woman ! Let me quit you, my love, for the very sight of a faithful husband renders my monster more odious to me. [^Exit, r. h. Mrs. Brom. Poor thing! my heart bleeds for her. Enter Bromley, gaily, l. h. Brom. [^speaking as he enters'] Where is my part- ner? I have recovered the whole of our debt, and now — - where is Simpson ? Mrs. Brom. 0, Charles, don't name him. Did you but know what has passed during your absence! Brom. What, more evidence against the gay de- ceiver! Mrs. Brom. The wretch! But, I'm glad you are re- turned, for, though he does not deserve your interces- sion, you must, for his wife's sake, endeavour to restore liarmony between them. Brom. Me, my love! this is a very delicate affair; and for me to interfere Mrs. Brom. You are, in all respects, the properest person. Besides, in those cases, example goes a great way; and, by holding up to him your own excellent conduct as a Brom. Confessed, true; but my conduct; that is, it would appear like vanity in me to — besides, in a word, my love, what would you have me say to him ? Mrs. Brom. Say to him, Mr. Bromley then do you encourage him in his wicked doings ? Brom. What, I! laside] I shall betray myself. \ioith affected energy] I encourage him! 'Tis in« famous! 'tis abominable! I'll read him such a lecture, as shall make him sink into the earth; I'll overwhelm him with Mrs. Brom. Do with him as you please, love; do not spare him, for we now have the most positive proof of his having a mistress. c 2 30 SIMPSON & CO. Brora, [eagerly'] Is she pretty ? [checks himself .\ Mrs, Brom. Blue eyes, ruby lips, complexion like a rose Brom. [aside^ Exactly like Mrs. Fitzallan. Mrs. Brom. But, were she an angel, her beauty is no apology for him. Brom. Certainly not, certainly not. What business has the husband of one of the prettiest women in the city, to be running after angels? 'tis scandalous, 'tis — [aside] I'm in a cursed awkward position here, and the sooner I get away the better. — But I'll attack him at once; I'll lecture him; I'll hector him; and he must reform his conduct, or no longer call me his friend. [crosses to r. h. Mrs. Brom. You are right, my love, for, as it is, the man is no company for you. Brom. No, I've done with him: I've no pity for a man who goes astray — and wants address to guard against detection, [aside.] [Exit, r. h. Mrs, Brom. I doubt his success: Mr. Simpson, I fear, is a hardened sinner. Besides, he knows too well the purity of my Charles's principles, to confess his error to him. Enter a Servant, l. h. Servant. Mrs. Fitzallan, ma'am. Mrs, Brom, Mrs. Fitzallan? I'm not acquainted with the woman, [looking out] Ah ! 'tis Marianne. [Exit Servant, l. h. after Mrs. Fitzallan enters. Enter Mrs. Fitzallan, l. h. My dear Marianne, my earliest friefnd, how delighted I am to meet you again. Mrs. Fitz. After a separation of five years at length we meet. How often have I thought on my old school- friend. I have a thousand things to ask, a thousand thinf^s to say to you. Mrs. Brom, But, before I answer you a single ques- tion, you must tell me all that has happened to you since you left England, [they sit,'] SIMPSON & CO. SI Mrs. Fit z. Ah, my dear! My history, though slnrt, IS a sad one. You heard of my going to India; there I married General Fitzallan, and within two years after our marriage [weeps.l Mrs. Brom. How! already a widow! Mrs. Fitz. Too true, [sighing. 1 Mrs. Brom, Come, come, love. This is the day of our re-union, and I shall insist on your being very gay. Mrs. Fitz, Well, well. And you, too, are married ? Mrs. Brom. Yes, sure, I am settled down in Minc- ing Lane, in the midst of invoices, legers, and bills of ladine;. Mrs. Fitz. And your husband ? Come, tell me all about him. Is he an old stumpy little man in a gray coat and a brown wig ? or young and handsome, and like the beings at th3 other side of Temple-bar? and is he kind and attentive to you ? And are you happy to- gether ? Mrs. Brom. That, indeed, we are, but you will see. him presently, and I will answer for it, you will be de- lighted with him. If he has a fault, it is, that his fond- ness of me renders him almost ill-bred in his behaviour to every other woman. Mrs. Fitz. Don't attempt to correct him : 'tis an un- common fault with husbands. Mrs. Brom. That's true: few men are like Bromley. \looking cautiously around] Now, there is my hus- band's partner, Mr. Simpson — Peter Simpson — a pretty name for a gay deceiver. Mrs. Fitz. That name is familiar to me. Oh ! I re- member. I received some acceptances of his, in paj^- ment, from my poor husband's executor. Mrs. Brom, Well, only conceive — his wife, poor 'thing Mrs. Fitz. Does he neglect her ? Mrs. Brom. He's a wretch ! We have the most posi- tive proof against him. I do all I can to console poor Susan, but what can avail in such a case! Mrs* Fi!^. Oh! these men, these men! And the in- 32 SIMPSON & CO. conceivable effrontery of some of them! What think you, for instance, of a man I never saw before in my life: one Captain — Captain — Captain Walsingham,vvho, without any sort of introduction, twice presents him- self at my house, under pretence of settling some busi- ness for me at the India-house. Mrs. Brom, Is it possible! and how did you receive him? Mrs, Fitz. As his insolence deserved, of course, and for some time I heard no more of him. But, within these few days, he has dared to write to me. His first letter I returned to him unanswered, but he so pesters me with his epistles, that 1 find it less trouble to burn them unopened. Then I can scarcely stir from home but he follows my carriage, and, in short, his importu- nities are become so irksome, that I am half determined to apply to the magistrates. [Mr, and Mrs. Simpson are heard squabbling, r. h.] Mrs. Brom, Hush! here come the unhappy pair. [Mey ivalk up the stage.'\ Enter Simpson and Mrs. Simpson, r. h. Simp, [speaks on entering] Oh, with all my heart! separate maintainance, or no maintainance at all, if you prefer it, so you will but cease to torment me. Mrs. Simp, I 'm not the woman, Mr. Simpjion, to bear such wrongs tamely; I have relations and— Mrs. Brom, [coming hastily forward] For heaven's sake, here's a visitor — I must present to you a dear friend of mine — Mrs, Fitzallan. [Mrs. Fitzallan comes for- ward, R. H.] Sim-p. [bowing] Any friend of Mrs. Bromley's Madam, your servant. Mrs, Simp. I am delighted, ma'am, to [looking steadfastly at Mrs. Fitzallan, she says to Mrs. B^^om- ley] Oh! support me, my dear, I'm fainting. [Mrs. Bromley places a chair, hastily, which M7's. Simp- son sinks upon. ] Mrs, Brom, What is the matter ? SIMPSON & CO. 3j5 Simp, [takmg her hand, which she hastily with- draws] What ails you, my duck? Mrs. Fitz, The lady is very pale. Mrs, Simp, [repulsing her] ^Tis nothing, madam; [starts up] 'tis past; it was merely the surprise. There are persons [half directed to Simpson] who can sup- port a surprise without the slightest change of coun- tenance. Mr. Simpson, I dare say, is of my opinion. Mrs. Brom. I perceive nothing very surprising, my dear, in a simple introduction to an old friend of mine. Mrs* Simp. The lady is not altogether unknown to me, nor to Mr. Simpson neither. Simp. To me! I don't recollect ever having had the honour of seeing the lady before. Mrs Fitz. I go but little into society, ma'am; may I inquire where you Mrs. Simp. This gentleman is more competent to an- swer the question than myself, madam. Mrs. Brom. [aside] What can she mean ? Simp, [in an under tone, and with suppressed anger] Madam, let me advise you, for your own sake, not to expose your folly to a stranger, [aside] I wonder she has not attacked fat Betty, the cook, or old Sally, the housemaid. Mrs. Simp, [to Mrs. Fitzallan] Pray, madam, did you never sit for your portrait? Mrs* Fitz, [laughing] I now perceive the occasion of your surprise. No doubt, you saw my portrait in the Exhibition; and the likeness, which was, indeed, allowed to be perfect, has led you to imagine — Ha! ha! ha! and my black velvet dress — did you remark how finely that was painted ? Mrs, Simp, [aside] Black velvet! 'tis that — there's no longer a doubt. I am perfectly well acquainted with the miniature, madam, but it was not at the Exhibition I saw it. Mrs. Fitz. A miniature? you mistake, a full length picture. Mrs, Brom. [aside] Can her jealousy so have blinded 34 SIMPSON & CO. her. {aloud, and laughing'] I begin to uiKlerstand the meaning of this, but, take my word for it, my dear, you were never so mistaken in your life. Mrs. Fitz. [aside] Good heavens! Can I be the cause of any disagreement here ? [walks up the stage.] Simp. Well, ladies, to me, all this is a riddle; I have lived in a riddle this whole day. As I never was very apt at guessing riddles, I shall quietly leave to time the task of expounding this. Enter Bromley, r. h. Brom. Well, love, 'tis near dinner time; are you sure your friend Marianne will come ? Mrs, Brom. [pointing to Mrs. Fitzallan^ whose back is turned from Bromley] She is here, Charles. Mrs. Brom. Marianne, I must present my husband to you Mr. Bromley. Mrs, Fitz, This gentleman ! Mr. Bromley ? [Mrs. Fitzallan and Bromley, on encountering each other'' s looks, are both struck with the utmost confusion and surprise. Mrs. Bromley'' s attention is withdrawn from them for the moment, by her seeming to in- terfere between Mr, and Mrs. Simpson, who are a little up the stage, l. h., as if trying to co?iciliate them.] Brom, [overwhelmed with confusion, yet pointedly and rapidly] Is the husband of your friend, madam [aside] I wish I was up to my neck in a horse-pond I Mrs. Fitz. I congratulate you sincerely, sir, on your choice. We were just speaking of you; Mrs. Brom- ley has emphatically eulogised your undivided atten- tion to her, and no one is more desirous than myself to believe, that you fully merit her confidence. Brom. [greatly e7nbarrassed] 0, madam! when the heart — when a wife — when a husband, whose constancy, whose fidelity — a virtue never departed from with im- punity [aside] I'm dished! Mrs, Simp, [to Simpson] Do you hear that, base- man ? SIMPSON k CO. 35 Simp. Yes, I hear, though I understand nothing about It. However, I am determined to be silent, and we shall see which of us will be tired soonest. Mrs. Brom, [to Bromlet/, and pointing towards Simpsoii] You are too severe, my love; be compas- sionate — a little indulgence — \to Mrs. Fitzallan] am I not right ? Brom. A little indulgence; aye, aye, gi little — we all have need of it; besides, at an age, when the passions, and when — after all, these are greater sinners than we! Eh, Simpson.'' Simp, [aside'^ It seems as if Bromley's turn had come. Well, turn and turn about: — My wife and I have need of a little rest, that's certain. Brom. And when one considers the weakness, the— the less I say the better. Mrs. Fitz. That, sir, is exactly my opinion. Mrs. Brom. I am glad, Charles, to find you so weak an advocate in so bad a cause. Mrs. Fitz. To put an end to a conversation which must be exceedingly embarrassing to a certain person of the party, pray, tell me, Mr. Bromley, whether you happen to be acquainted with one Captain Walsingham? Brom. [to her] The cruel little devil! [aside] Yes, ma'am; I'm not quite — yes, yes, I knew him, ma'am; that is, ma'am, I knew him formerly. Mrs. Brom. [aside] I regret that Charles was unac- quainted with so disreputable a person. Mrs. Fitz. Do tell me what is his character, Mr. Bromley. [During this, Mrs. Simpson has seated herself in a sullen mood, up the stage a little. Simpson approaches, taking another chair on her l. h. She turns her chair from him in a huff; he does the same, and they sit back to back.] Brom. His character ? 0, he's a — a sort of a — a perfect man of honour, I assure you, ma'am. Mrs, Fitz. No doubt; he seems, too, to be a devoted slave of the ladies. 36 SIMPSON & CO. Mrs. Brom. Pray, Charles, present my respects to your Captain Walsingham. Mrs. Fitzallan has related to me a little anecdote concerning him, which places him very high in my esteem. Brom. What then, you know [aside'} Can she have told! Mrs. Fitz, Do you know, Mr. Bromley, whether he still maintains his influence at the India-house ? Brom. [pointedly'] No, ma'am; he's now an ex- director; has abandoned all intentions of further inter- ference in that quarter. — How shall I get out of this? — Here, William — a — is dinner ready ? Enter a Servant, r. h. Ser. Dinner, sir, won't be ready this half-hour. [Exit. Brom, Very w^ell. [aside^ John deserves a guinea for interrupting the conversation. Simp, [gaily'] Come, Bromley, go and order a bot- tle of champagne in honour of our fair guest; that will set us all in good humour; and before the third glass has gone round, I warrant it, we shall all have come to a right understanding. Ha! ha! ha! Mrs. Brom. 0, let the butler look to the wine; and you, Charles, show Marianne our collection of pic- tures — I'll follow in a moment. Brom. [aside] How I'm to escape, heaven knows! Your arm, madam. [Exeunt Bromley and Mrs. Fitzallan, r. h., with some hesitation on both sides. Simpson offers his arm to Mrs. Simpson; she rejects it, and follows the others, with Mrs. Bromley J] Mrs. Brom. [to Simpson as he is going off] Mr. Simpson, a word. Considering your situation, your boisterous gaiety, to say the best of it, is ill-judged. Mrs, Simp, Mr. Simpson, your braving it out in this manner is, positively, indecent. [Exit Mrs. Bromley, who also rejects his arm, r. h. Simp. Vastly well; let them say what they will, I'm determined not to open my mouth till dinner's ready. [Exit, R. H. SIMPSON & CO. sr Scene II. •f Draioing'Room, with pictures — 4 chairs. Enter Mrs. Fitzaxlan, r. h. Mrs. Fitz. Poor Mr. Bromley; he lias some modesty, however, and couldn't bear a moment of examination. Enter Mrs. Bromley, r. h. Mrs. Bro7ii. What, has Bromley left you already ? how rude! Mrs. Fitz. Rude! — I think the folks are all rather singular; he saw^ me at the door, hovved and left me. Then, really, my dear, Mrs. Simpson's behaviour to me is very extraordinary: she does not only avail her- self of my presence to torment her husband, but I am evidently the object of all her sarcasms and inuendos. Mrs. Bro7n. Did you ever happen to see Mr. Simp- son before ? Mi'S. Fitz, No; never. Mrs. Brom, How comes it then that he possesses your portrait Mrs. Fitz. My portrait ? Mrs. Brora. Which he keeps concealed in his pocket- book? Mrs. Fitz. Nonsense: impossible. Mrs. Brorn. I assure you, Marianne, he has it; and the resen)blance is, in all respects, so perfect, that it cannot be attributed to chance. Mrs. Fitz. The profligate monster! But to what base end can he have procured it ? and by what means ? Mrs. Brom. 'Tis difficult to tell. JPerhaps, unob- served by youj, he may have seen you somewhere or 58 SIMPSON k CO. other, and becoming enamoured of you, contrived to procure a copy of your picture at the exhibition. Mrs. Fitz. [aside] I rather suspect My dear, are you sure, are you quite sure, that Mr. Simpson is the person capable of Mrs. Brorn. Capable! After the discoveries we have made to-day, Pm convinced he is capable of any thing. Mrs. Fitz. \ciside\ One partner torments me v^^illi letters, the other puiloins my portrait — am I fated to turn the heads of the whole firm of Simpson & Co. ? Mrs. Br 0771. Here he comes, expecting, no doubt, to find you alone, and prepared with a formal declara- tion, [they walk up the stage. Enter Simpsox, r. h. [The ladies come forward on each side of Simpson.'] Simp, My Mrs. S. seems inclined to open a fresh account, but as we have had sufficient dealings in the article of bickering for one day, I leave her to Ah! Mrs. Fitzalian, your humble and Mrs. Bromley, too 1 hope I am not an interruption. Mrs. Brom. On the contrary, sir, this lady and my- self desire an opportunity of gently and quietly remon- strating with you. Mr. Simpson, your conduct is most atrocious. Mrs. Fitz, 'Tis barbarous! 'tis ungentlemanly, 'tis unmanly. Simp. Madam, if ever I Mrs. Brom. What excuse have you for endangering, as you have done, the reputation of a respectable wo- man? Si7np. [in anger'] I vow and declare, that since tlie day I was born Mrs. Fitz. Will you be so obliging, sir, as to an- swer, distinctly, the questions I shall put to you } Simp. So! a regular examination! Speak, ladies; SIMPSON & CO. 39 state your charges: I shall not employ counsel, but plead my own cause. Mrs. Fitz. Then, sir, I must insist on your answer- ing me seriously and without equivocation. Till this day did you ever see me before? Si77ip. Seriously, and without equivocation, I never did. M7'S. Fitz. Has any person — any one who may take an interest in me, made you the depositary of his secret? Shnp. Madam, I assure you, till this day, I never had the pleasure, either of seeing you, or that of hear- ing you spoken of. Mrs. Filz. Enough. Now, sir, as a man of honour, you cannot refuse to relinquish my portrait, your pos- session of which is, at once, offensive and injurious to me. Simp. Your portrait! your portrait, ma'am! [a^/flTe] Oh, hang it, I see now they are quizzing me, [crosses to R. H.] for my wife's jealousy. Mrs. Bromley first began running the joke against me to-day, as a hen- pecked husband; and now she has got Mrs. Fitzallaa to join her. Mrs. Brom. [to Mrs. Fitzallari] He hesitates. Mrs. Fitz. Am I to be honoured with your answer, sir? Simp, [aside] 'Gad, I'll have a hoax as well as they, and turn the tables on 'em. Well, madam, [to Mrs. Fitzallan] I have as truly got your portrait as you have got Mrs. Brow., [hastily taking him up] At length, then, you confess; that is the first step towards repent- ance. Your wife is an excellent woman; repent, Mr, Simpson, and I trust she will pardon you. Enter Mrs. Simpson, r. h. Come, come, my love, let me be peace-maker. Mr. Simpson has confessed bis errors, and p.^omi seisin cere repentance, and you mucf fortrive him. 40 SIMPSON & eo. Mrs. Simp. And what have you to say for yourselij Mr. Simpson? Simp. What have I to say for myself ? I have merely said that as truly as I have that lady's portrait, she has mine. Mrs, Fiiz. Sir. Simp. Yes, my little full length — in a pepper and salt coat, striped waistcoat, and drab-coloured small- clothe.', and continuations. Mrs. Fitz, [to Airs. Bromley'] My dear, the man's mad! Si7?ip. As to the letters you say have passed be- lv>^een us — Mrs. Fitz. [iviih dignity'] This is too much. I should be forgetting the respect I owe myself, were I tg remain another moment here. Mrs. Brom. [taking her hand] For my sake, Ma- rianne — yet an instant — Si7?ip. [laughing aloud.] Enter Bromley, r. h. Xow Charles, follow my example, and confess — 'tis your only hope. Brom. [alarmed] Confess!!! What! Simp. Confession and repentance are the order of the -lay. Acknowledge, that, but for your example, I never should have gone astray. Brom. [aside] Am I detected too, then! Simp, Acknowledge that your wicked counsels first perverted my innocent heart; that you are account- able for all my peccadilloes, as you call them, Brom. [agitated] Each for himself, sir, if you please. Mrs. Brom, Fie on you, Mr. Simpson. First ca- lumniate my friend, and next accuse my unoffending husband! Shame, shame, Mr. Simpson. Mrs. Simp. Your attempts at an evasion will avail SIMPSON & CO. 41 you nothing: it is not with Mr. Bromley, but with you, sir Simp. 'Tis all one: we are partners; and our plea- sures and our plagues ought to be in common. — {ob- serving the serious countenances of the others.'] Lord help me! should they be in earnest after all! Enter a Servant, l. h. [who lohispers Mrs, Bromley,] Mrs. Brom. Instantly— [/o Mrs. TilzaUan'] A good opportunity to humiliate Mr. Simpson. I have been sitting for my miniature unknown to Charles — the painter has just sent it; I'll take this occasion of pre- senting it to him. Do but w^ait my return, and thi5 affair shall be explained to your salisfaction. — \to Simp- son'] Ah! Mr. Simpson! I never thought you capable of such doings. \_Exit l. h. Brom. Was it your intention to insult me, Mr. Simpson, by your ridiculous accusations } Simp. Sir, I Mi's. Fitz. Is it your pleasure, Mr. Simpson, to sur- render \mysteriously] the object in question? Simp, Madam, madam, I assure you Mrs. Simp. ^Tis a clear case, Mr. Simpson: I shall now leave the affair with my relatives. Simp. 'Tis a clear case tiiere is a plot among you te drive me wild, and Enter Foster, l. it. Well, Foster, what now ? {crosses to him, l. h.] Fos. Mr. Tradely, sir, has called to receive back his securities. Sifnp. Mr. Bromley has them. Brom. I left them with you when I went out this morning. Simp. True.— '{takes out Bromley's pocket-book — Mrs. Simpson beholds it with looks of rage'] Here 42 SIMPSON & CO. they are, Foster; take a receipt for them. Here, Brom- ley, take your pocket-book. [Exit Foster, l. h. Mrs. Simp, [jmaiches it from hirri\ His pocket- book ? Bromley's ? Simp. Yes: and what then? Mrs. Simp. Really, the book is not yours ? Simp. And what if it were! but 'tis Bromley's, I tell you. Mrs. Simp, [riuiniiig into his arms, and embrac- ing him7\ My dear, dear, dear little husband: this is the happiest moment of my life. Mrs. Fitz. [aside] 'Tis as I suspected. Simp. Then you were but jesting with me after all. Mrs. Si?np. [to Mrs. Fitzal/an] Oh, ma'am, I scarce- ly know how to apologise to you, but the circumstances, 1 trust, will be sufficient to [running again to Simpson'] My poor, poor, dear, injured little Simpson. Simp, Zounds, but this is as much a puzzle to me as t'other. Brom. [aside] I perceive the mistake, and 'tis all over with me. Mrs, Fitz. [aside] Poor Mrs. Bromley! Mrs. Simp. And can you pardon me all the torments I have inflicted on you ? Simp. Wh}^, you have laid it on pretty thick, my dear, that's certain: but what has all this been about ? Mrs. Simp, [returns t/te pocket-hook to Bromley^ Just let me return Mr. Bromley his property. 'Tis an elegant little book, indeed. I commend your taste, sir. Brom, [embarrassed] 0, ma'am, 'tis nothing — 'lis simple — extremely simple. Mrs. Simp. Certainly, it requires a careful examina- tion to discover all the beauties it contains. Mrs. Fitz. [seve?^e/i/, and with emphasis] Mr. Brom- ley has been at unwarrantable pains in procuring its or- naments. Simp. Well, there's no accounting for tastes; but it SIMPSON & CO. 43 seems to me that there is nothing very extraordinary in a red morocco case with a gold clasp. Mrs, Simp. My love, we must not always judge by the exterior. Simp, [mocking /ier'\ By the exterior! Are they beginning tiieir riddles again ? Brom, Alas! my dear friend, to me it is none; I comprehend it but too well.-— [/o Mrs, Fitzallan'] But io you, madam, how shall I address myself? In what lerms implore your pardon? I confess that, unknown to you, 1 dared to procure a copy of your portrait, and my indiscretion Mrs. Filz. [as she takes the book from him, which he presents'] The offence, Mr. Bromley, might war- rant a harsher term. Simp. Ha ! a thought strikes me. Allow me, ma'am, to ask whether or not you reside in Hailey street? [crosses to Mrs. Fitzallan. Mrs. Fitz. I do, sir. Simp. Mahogany door, gorgon's-head knocker, five steps, lamp, w^ith reflectors, and sixty-four spikes in the iron railing. Mrs. Fitz. You have been very minute, sir, in your observations. Sijnp, I had plenty of time to take an exact account, I assure you, I having twice enjoyed the honour, madam, of standing sentry at your door waiting for this gentleman, and shivering in the wind, like the top- sails in the sea song. — [crosses to Bromley — to Brom- ley, half angry'] And am I, for ever, sir, to be the vic- tim of your irre2:ularities? 'Twas the same thing at school, ladies. If an orchard w^as robbed, suspicion was sure to light on me; and while Mr. Innocence, there, was quietly devouring the fruit, I was receiving the punishment. Mrs. Simp, [taking his hand] My poor Simpson! Mrs. Fitz. [to Bromley] So far as your indiscretion affects me, sir, I pardon you; deeply as it might have 44 SIMPSON & CO. injured me in the opinion of this lady; but, unfortu- nately for you, it remains Brom. Do not overwhelm me with the anger — the contempt which my conduct merits. Your beauty was the light that dazzled and misled me, yet believe me — Simp. Say no more, Bromley. You may believe him, ma^am; and I can assure you that there is not in London a more affectionate husband, [half aside] not- withstanding his aptness to be dazzled, as he calls it, by stray lights. Mrs. Simp, But what can we say to poor Mrs. Brom- ley ? Brom, I will avow all to her; the only expiation in the power of an offending husband, is the confession of his error. — Pleavens, she comes! Enter Mrs. Bromley, l. h. Mrs. Brom. Well, Mr. Simpson, do you still refuse to confess ? Simp, Ah! ma'am; matters have taken a strange turn since you quitted the room. Brom. Ah, my Anna, you are far from suspecting who is the real offender: it is Mrs. Fitz. {eagerly] It is Captain Walsingham. Mrs. Brom. [with astonishment] Captain Walsing- ham! Brom. [aside] A woman for ever for helping one out of a scrape ! Mrs Fitz. Yes, the person I mentioned to you this moi-ning. It is for him the portrait was copied. Simp. And thus it is that innocent people are often made to suffer for the offences of such wicked wights. As for that Captain Walsingham, with whom Bromley and I are very well acquainted — I have a little account with him, which shall be settled in private. He shall not have it to say that I quietly took charge of this SIMPSON & CO. 45 day's cargo of plao;ues and torments, which ought to have been consigned to him. Mrs. Brom. But, how came it when he was mentioned this morning that you remained silent? Simp. To say the truth, I am not so proud of his ac- quaintance as to boast of it. A married man who is so easily '^dazzled by stray lights/^ is not exactly the person to associate with — Eh, Bromley ? Mrs. Brom. [io Mrs. FitzaUan'] But, by what means did the portrait Mr St Fitz, [mysteriously J and in an under tone'] Hush ! Mrs. Brom. Aye — I understand, [aside'] That poofj dear Mrs. Simpson! they make her believe just what they please! Mrs. Simp, [aside] That dear, sjood Mrs. Bromley- did she but know — [all go up the stage, except Mr* and Mrs. Bromley.] Mrs. Brom. And, now, Charles, I have a little sur- prise for you. Unknown to you I have sat for my portrait; accept it as the token of my confidence in your affection and fidelity: it may serve as a little lesson to Mr. Simpson. Brom. [deeply affected] Your portrait! — Never, never, shall it quit me. [aside] And, she's unconscious. O, Anna, the reproaches of an offended woman are soon forgotten; her sweetness, her unsuspecting love, which, alone, can reclaim a wandering«heart, are remembered for ever. [Mrs. Bromley joins the other two ladies.] Simp, [taking Bromley io the front of the stage] Bromley, that present comes just in time — there's a vacant place in the pocket-book. Brom. A little indulgence Simp. You must ask it at other hands than mine. [brings Brotnley forward J looking caiitiously, at the same ti?7ie, at the other characters.] Ladies and gen- tlemen, no doubt, you have detected some little defi- ciencies in my partners private accounts — the firm is 46 jIMPSON & CO. responsible to you — we are now winding up matters with you for the evening — we have done our best to answer your claims for amusement, in full — if the ba- lance appears against us, pray grant a little indulgence to the firm of Simpson & Co. [thei/ retii'e back to the ladies. END OP SIMPSON & CO. Disposition 0/ characters when the curtain /alls. R. H. CURTAIN. L. H. THE TURNPIKE GATE. SWEETHEARTS AND WIVES. V WOMAN NEVER VEXT. SIMPSON k CO. r'AREFULLY CORRECTED FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS, VOL. XXX. FHILJDELPHM.' PVBtTSHED BY V. C. WEMTSS, AKD ASH & MASOX: P. THOMPSON, WASUfNGTON: H. W. BOOL, BALTIMORE: E. M. MUnDEN, AXD 1, GODM, NEW TORK, FOB THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO BE HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS ll* THE UNITED STATES. 1827 tiir%f. As a mimber of our subscribers are desirous of knowing what characteristic engravings will be attached to those plays prepared for publication, we subjoin the following- list for their information : School for Scandal, • Mr. Warren as Sir Peter Teazle,- Every One has his Fault, Mr. Jefferson as Solus, Der Freyschutz, Mrs. Burke as Bertha. New Way to Pay Old Debts, Mrs. Hilson as Margaret. Hypocrite, Mr. Foote as Dr. CantwelL Richard the Third, Mr. Kean as Richard. Lovers Vows, Mrs. Darley as Amelia' Hamlet, Mrs. Cowell as Ophelia. Iron Chest, Mr. Lee as Wilford. Tom and Jerry, Mr. Roberts as Bob Logic. High Life below Stairs, Mr. Thayer as My Lord Duke. Forty Thieves, Mrs. Waring as Morgiana. Pizarro, Mr. Forest as Rolla, Brutus, Mr. Booth as Brutus. Macbeth, Mr. Macready as Macbeth. These portraits are nearly all finished, and exertions wiH be used to procure the following, as soon as possible. Mr. Cooper, Mr. Simpson, Mr. and Mrs. Barrett, Mrs. Entwisle, Mrs. Gilfert, Mr. and Mrs. Wallack, Mrs. Wood, Mrs. Anderson, Mr. Finn, Mr. Kilner, Mrs. Powell, &c. kc. As an impression has gone abroad, that the Plays printed in this Work are so mutilated as to destroy the Authors' meaning, the Proprietors take this opportunity of assuring the public, that all the old plays will be printed from books marked as Garrick and Kemble had them represented; the new ones, as they are repre? ,sented at Drury Lane and Covent Garden. In consequence of complaints, that in binding, the margin cuts too closely, the Numbers will not, in future, be trimmed in tbs pamphlet LIBRPRY OF CONGRESS 014 528 288 3 Acting American Theatre already published. No. 1. Wild Oats, containing a Portrait of Mr. FaAscis. 2. Much Ado About NoxniJfo, Miss Kbllt. 3. Superstition, '^ Mrs. Duff. 4. Old Maid, Mrs. Francis. 5. Marmioit, Mr. Duff. 6. HoiTET MooK, Mr. Wemtss. 7. Isabella. Mrs. Barnes. 8. School of Reform, Mr. Hilsow. 9. Turnpike Gate. Mr. Co well. 10. Sweethearts and Wites.^ Mr. Barnes. 11. Woman Never Vext. Mr. Wood. 12. Simpson 8c Co. - Mr. Burke. No. XIII, Will contain a Likeness of Mr. E. Forrest, as Rolla. The Portraits of Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Warren, £|pd Mrs. Hilson, are in the hands of the engravers. ,8uthonsed by the State of Pennsylvania or by Congress, MAY CE PURCHASED AT l^EMYSS LOTTERY OPPIOS, 49 SOUTH THIRD STREET. Clubs dealt with on tlie most reasonable terms, and orders from the country promptly attended to.