PS 635 
 .29 
 B3487 
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 AMES' SERIES OF 
 HHDARD AND MIHOR DRAMA. 
 
 No. 488. 
 
 T? 
 
 A Pair of CountFy 
 Kids. 
 
 COMEDY-DRAMA. 
 
 WITH CAST OF CHARACTEllS, ENTRANCES AND 
 EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OE THE PERFORMERS 
 ON THE STAGE, 'DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND 
 THE-WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS; CARE- 
 FULLY MARKED FROM THE MOST AP- 
 PROVED ACTING.COPY. 
 
 This Book will not be exchanged. 
 
 PRICE 25 CENTS. 
 
 AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 
 
 W. H. AMES, Proprietor, 
 
 CLYDE. OHIO. 
 
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 No goods -seiit C. O. D. Money MUST accompany all order-s 
 
gj" 
 
 A.inee* Edition of Plays. 
 
 ■^ 
 
 Flfto*n e«nt« •aoh nnl«s8 otherwise marked. 
 
 294 
 164 
 125 
 R18 
 350 
 113 
 22fi 
 321 
 272 
 1«0 
 268 
 310 
 284 
 373 
 242 
 161 
 60 
 342 
 343 
 
 152 
 279 
 173 
 143 
 67 
 97 
 119 
 162 
 3a5 
 176 
 255 
 300 
 
 311 
 
 390 
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 314 
 117 
 386 
 374 
 141 
 191 
 362 
 402 
 337 
 194 
 
 S 
 9 
 136 
 330 
 387 
 417 
 39 
 261 
 227 
 410 
 335 
 211 
 251 
 
 DRAMAS 
 
 Ai-tlinr Eustace, 25c 10 3 
 
 After Ten Years 7 5 
 
 Anld Robin Gray, 1-2 3 
 
 Adventuress. The 8 6 
 
 Bv Foroeof Love 8 3 
 
 Bill Detri.-k 6 3 
 
 Bi-ae, the Poor House Girl. ..4 4 
 
 Broken T.inks 8 4 
 
 Beyond Pardon 6 4 
 
 Conn ; or Love's Victory 9 3 
 
 Clearinff the Mists 5 3 
 
 Claim Ninety-six (96) 2.5o 8 5 
 
 Cominereial Drninmer, The .5 3 
 
 Cricket on the Hearth, The 6 fi 
 
 Dutch Recrnit, The, 2.5c 14 3 
 
 Dora. 5 2 
 
 Driven to the Wall 10 3 
 
 Defending the Flaer, ?5c 11 3 
 
 Daisy Garland's Fortune. 
 
 25.-.; h ,5 
 
 Driven from Home 6 4 
 
 Dutch Jake 4 3 
 
 East Lvnne 7 7 
 
 Kmijirant's Daushter. 8 3 
 
 False Friend. The '> 1 
 
 Fatal Blow, The 7 1 
 
 Forty-Niners,The 10 4 
 
 Fielding Manor ...9 6 
 
 p'reeman Mill Strike, The... .7 1 
 
 Factory Girl .6 3 
 
 Gertie's Vindication 3 3 
 
 Grandmother Hildebrand's 
 
 Legacy, 2.5c .11 8 
 
 Gyp, The ffeiresR, 25c 5 4 
 
 General Manwerer, The 5 5 
 
 Gent'emjin in Black, The 8 4 
 
 Hajidy Andy 10 3 
 
 Haunted 1>y a Shadow 6 2 
 
 Haunted Mill. The 5 4 
 
 Hal Hazard, 25c 7 3 
 
 Hazel Adams 5 3 
 
 Hearts of Gold 5 3 
 
 Hidden Treasures w? 3 
 
 Hidden Hand 15 7 
 
 Josh Winchester, 25c 5 3 
 
 Joe, the Waif, 25c 5 3 
 
 Kathleen ;Mavoureen ....12 4 
 
 Lights and Shadows of the 
 
 Great Rebellion, 2.5c 10 5 
 
 Lndy of Lyons 12 5 
 
 Lady Audley's Secret 6 4 
 
 Leeral Holidav .5 3 
 
 Little Goldie, 25c 11 3 
 
 Little Heroine 8 2 
 
 Little Wife, The 6 3 
 
 Life'S'Rovenee A ..11 4 
 
 Lost in London..... '..: 6 4 
 
 IMaud'sP^-ril 5 3 
 
 Mechanic's Reprieve, Tlie...8 3 
 
 Miller's Danjrhter, 25c 7 6 
 
 Midnisrht Mistake , 6 2 
 
 Millie, the Quadroon 6 5 
 
 NO. 
 
 163 
 
 '34 
 
 229 
 
 348 
 
 355 
 112 
 298 
 237 
 
 408 
 196 
 
 81 
 331 
 405 
 333 
 
 85 
 -83 
 347 
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 278 
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 5 
 322 
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 71 
 
 45 
 275 
 409 
 .*79 
 336 
 372 
 266 
 364 
 369 
 105 
 
 M. 
 
 .5 2 
 
 Mirian^s Crime. 
 Mistletoe Bough 
 
 Mountebanks. The 6 
 
 Mrs. Willis' Will 
 
 Miisi<-al Captain^ Tlie 25c. ..15 
 
 Mv Pard,2.5c 6 
 
 New Magdalen. The 6 3 
 
 New YoYk Book Agent 7 3 
 
 NotSucii a Fool as He 
 
 Looks ^ 
 
 Noel Corson's Oath 6 
 
 OatlJ Bound 4 
 
 Old Honesty 5 
 
 Old Phil's Birthday 5 
 
 Old Wayside Inn, The .9 
 
 Old Glorv in Cuba, 2.5e 8 
 
 Our Kiltie .6 
 
 Outcast's Wife 12 
 
 Out in the World 5 
 
 .7 3 
 2 
 5 
 2 
 5 
 
 Our Country Aunt .0 4 
 
 Our Awful Aunt.... 4 
 
 Onr Jack 8 
 
 Penn Haperood ..10 
 
 Pelcg and Peter, SV .4 
 
 Pheelim O'RooUes' ('urse... 8 
 
 Phvlis, the Beirear Girl 6 
 
 Raw Recruit. The 6 
 
 Ra.-he'. the Fire Waif, 25c.. .7 
 
 Reward of Crime, The 5 
 
 Rock Allen 5 4 
 
 Simple Silas 6 3 
 
 Southern Rose. A 10 
 
 SpT of Atlanta, 25c .14 
 
 Souire's Daughter, The .5 
 
 SunU^ht,^5c 10 
 
 Sweetbrier 11 
 
 Trixie 6 
 
 Taggs, the Waif, 25c 6 
 
 Through Snow and Sun- 
 shine 6 
 
 Ti«'ket of Leave Man 9 
 
 Tom Blossom 8 
 
 Toodles 4 
 
 L"'uc1e Tom's Cabin 18 7 
 
 Uncle Jed's Fidelity 7 3 
 
 ruder the American Flag 
 
 25c 6 3 
 
 Wild Mab ^ 3 
 
 Won at Last J -^ 
 
 Zion ' ^ 
 
 TEMPERANCE PLAYS 
 
 5 Adrift 5 o 
 
 Among tlie Moouslilners <^ ^ 
 
 At La'it •' I 
 
 AuntDinahs Pledtre -6 .i 
 
 Dot; tlie Miner's Daughters r> 
 
 Drunkard. The 13 ^ 
 
 Drunkard's Warning ,.6 6 
 
 Drnnkard'B Doom 15 n 
 
 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 
 ard's Life 
 
 Fruit* Of the Wine Cnp 
 
 6 
 
 .10 
 
 104 Lost, 
 
 iG 
 
Pair of Country Kids, 
 
 COAii:T)Y-I3T^A^iM^ 
 
 IN FOUR ACTS. 
 — BY — 
 
 J. Howard Bauman. 
 
 X 
 
 'lO WlliriT 18 ADDRO 
 
 A ])R^rn irru ►>: ( >!■ ti 1 1-: < . )sti • m ks-cast ( >p tiir rn \ r ao- 
 
 TKKS-KNTi: \X( KS AND KXITS-i: KI. ATI V K PosiTioXs 
 
 OF Till-: !m:i{|oi:.mi.:i:s ox tiik .sTA(iK. axd tuk 
 
 WlloLK ol' Tin-: STAUIO liUSLXICSS. 
 
 Eiilf^r.-.l iirfor.lincr to not of Ciiirrpss in (Ii^ y.\')r lOI-l hy 
 in ll.r ullice o{ ihe Librui-iaii of Cui.yie^s :U \V:iM.i ii^ioii. 
 
 A]\iEs' lu iJLismxci en. 
 
 ClA'DK. OHIO: 
 
 MIG 21 13W 
 
TSt^ 
 
 r 
 
 A PAIR OF VOUNTRT KIDS'/ 
 
 ,^^^^7 
 
 CAST OF CHARACTERS.' 
 
 Hr Hasktns, One of the '' Con ntry Kids. ^* 
 
 Ez K A Simpson, The country Squire. 
 
 Jack Sha kpe A young detective. 
 
 RiCHAUD Mannkking, T'he one ?o/i* makes all the trouble. 
 
 Q g [ 2\eo of Mannering'' s tools. 
 
 TinxiK The other one of the ' 'Kids. " 
 
 Ar.iCK Simpson 7'he Squires adopted daughter. 
 
 Aunt Mkmnda Aged, hut still in the matrimonial meirket. 
 
 X 
 
 TIME OF PL A YING-2 hours. 
 
 X 
 
 SYNOPSIS AND PROPERTIES ON LAST PAGE. 
 
 All Pr«fesslenal Ri^^lits Reserved hj the Author. 
 
 Permissicin to produce this Phiy must be obtained from Ames' 
 Publishing Co., Clyde, Ohio. This does apply to Amateurs. 
 
 COSTUMES. 
 
 EzuA Simpson -Act I — Well worn suit, grey wig: and chin beard, 
 straw hat. Act il and ill, black suit, slouch liat, white collar and 
 loud colored tie. Act iv, same as act i. 
 
 Jack Shakpe — Act i — Seedy tramp suit, old torn hat and tramp 
 beard Act ii, business suit. Act iii, minister's clothes, wig and 
 full beard. Act iv, same as act ii. 
 
 RichaudManneking — Act I. iiandiii — Black suit, silk hat, gloves 
 and cane. Act iv, torn clothes, tramp beard, black. 
 
 Hi Haskins — Act ii— Calico shirt, short ankle patched paiits, 
 blond crop wig. Act ii and lit, sanje as act r, with short waisled 
 vest, small hat and old dusty slATt-;5.f Act iv, same as act i. 
 
 Tug and Chub — Tough make-.upr 
 
 Alice Simpson — Act i— Neat 'dress, large liat and large purse. 
 Act III, well worn dress. Act iv, traveling costume. 
 
 Trixie — Act i — Calico dress, apron and sun-bonnet, or old hat. 
 Act II and iii, newsboy's suit and cap. Act iv, same as act i. 
 
 AuntMemnda — AcTi and iv— House dress, corkscrew curls, very 
 precise, genuine old maid make-up. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 K., means Riarht; l., Left: r h.. Ki^lit Hund ; l. h., Left Hantl; c, Centre: s. e. 
 [2(1 E ,] Second Entrani-e: u E, U|>pei- Entrance ; 31. D., Miil.lle door; p., tlie b'hit ; 
 D. P., Door in Flat; K. c, RigUt ol' Centre; L. c, Left of Centre. 
 
 K. K. c. ^ c. L. c. I.. 
 
 *** The reader is supposed to be upon the Stage facing the andience. 
 
 g)C!.D 
 
 37909 
 
 TMP92-008621 
 
J^ Pair of Country Kids. 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 SCEXE— Kitchen in Ezua Simpson's horns — dooi' t.. of c, toindoio r. of 
 c. K. <ind L. K.. tdble ici'l/t red spread, c, cupboard up c. bettceen 
 door and windoic, firepiice er ttluve, rocking chtiirn comtnon chairs, 
 and bench wilh bucktl of water, dipper and wanh basin of icater on 
 aamcaboul the room, a Jay on floor under table —^Ie.]. is D\ and Ezka 
 discovered u.<t curtain rist-a. 
 
 Melinda. Well, Ezr:i Simpson, be this tlia kind of a reception I 
 ;ini to receive iit your luinds? I'll tf(» right hacU home, so I will —I'll 
 ^o righi b;iciv this ininuie— an' — and, law sakt-s! I was counlin' on 
 such a pleasant visit this evpniu<r. 
 
 Kzra. Beg your pardon. Melinda. Duiirt mean to hit you. darn 
 niH if 1 did. Jest fluiiu the hook ;it Hi. antl — aiuJ — (//n/^/<;<) blaiM»Hl 
 if you liidn't ;;it it fair and squar' in Hi's place. (lauyhn 
 
 Melinda. ^Vell. E/.ra Simpson, it's no lanjriniif,' matter— least wise 
 not to me. and if you hud a grain of common sense, you wouhl stop 
 your laughing. 
 
 hJzra. MelindH, I'm soher as a jecJge. (looks .solemn) Come in and 
 sit (h>wii. 
 
 Mt'liiida. Law sakes. tMii't you see tha'. 1 be in already? 
 
 Kzra. Have a chair, Mt-linda. 'Deed I'm powerful glad you 
 Come over. 
 
 Eau A places rockei' for Mki.inda and takss another and draics it closs 
 
 beside Jiei's. 
 
 Melinda. (rocking) You are, Ezra? 
 
 Kzra. Course I be. Melinda. \o\\ see I had a bit of irood fort line 
 to-tlay, and I'm jest bnsiin' to tell yon about it. 
 
 \hliiida. What be iht* bit of good fortune that you be alludiii" to 
 Ezra? 
 
 t.zra. Jest wait until I show you. 
 
 (goes to cupboard and takes out an old coffee pot and returns to table 
 
 Melinda. (asiile) The dear Squire, {smoothes her hair) 1 do won- 
 der if he will pop Lliis evening. I dressed up jest fit to kill for the 
 occasion. 
 
 Ezra, (dumping contents 0f coffee pot on table) There it be, Melinda, 
 every dollar of it — l.iree hundred and fifty in all. 
 
 Melinda. Three hundred and fifty dollars, Ezra! ^Vhere did you 
 
4 A PA Hi OF COIWTIIY KfDS. 
 
 git go much money at one i i nif in i liese li:i rd 1 i lucs? , 
 
 Ezra. Sold the teain ol soiifls, .Mcliini;i.. 
 
 Melinda. And yon yot :ill of lliii.L for ihrni? 
 
 Ezra. 'Deed I did. A cily crilter comr along- to-diiy, s;aid he 
 l<iiider took a fancy to tlie animals and \w niaile a ileal in onr, two, 
 three order. 
 
 Melinda. And wlial be you ^diir to do with all that money, Ezra? 
 
 Ezra, {pnts moiieij back in coffeepot) Well y«>n see, Alice has been 
 powerful good and ham!}' 'bout tlie house since she came here nigh 
 onto three years ago, and I hain't never given her nothing to speak 
 of, so I thought 1 might spare a. few dollars and buy her a new sky- 
 blue-pink silk ilress, and— ai.id— and — 
 
 Meiiiid't. And — anil — what, Ezra? {jerkx chair closer 
 
 Kzra. Y-y-you know I've knowed you a long time, Melinda. 
 .Melinda. ("onrse you have. Ezra, {rockiny fnrionslfj — aside) Sit 
 still, my fiuttering heart, sit slill. It be omin' al last. 
 
 Ezra. Well you see, I Ihouglil as how you might be willin' to-to- 
 U^— (aside) Blame old du nee, why can'l I tell lier rigli t, ou t ".' 
 
 Melinda. Willin' to what, 10/ra ? Wliy don'i you say what you 
 wanted to? 
 
 Ezra. 1—T— thought as how you might be willin' to- to leave 
 your own home — and^and — 
 
 Melinda. Yes, yes, Ezra, leave my own dea,r old home, and — 
 
 Kzrai Fer a spell and coJiie over here and help Alice make her 
 new silk dress? (}\\<A,ii^V).K: stiffens up in her chair — FtZKX (jlances about 
 to ((scertain the meaning of Iter silence) Why, you're not mad at what 
 1 asked you, be you, Melinda? 
 
 Melinda. Oh, no, no! I'm not mad. 
 
 (almost a hi.ss through set teeth 
 
 Ezra. Well, if you're so gone up in a baloon al)out it, you jest 
 needn't come. 
 
 Melinda. (softening) I'll help her do her sew in', Squire, and you 
 ought to have known that — but— but— but - 
 
 Ezra. Well, stop your buttin' and go on, Melinda. 
 
 Melinda. I was thinkin' that you wasgoin" to tell meof somethin' 
 else you was thinkin' of doin'. 
 
 Ezra. And I do mean to do s<^melhing else. IMelinda. 
 
 Melinda. (Jerking chair clo.ser to F,7AI.\) Indeed! 
 
 Ezra, (f/oes to doors and iciinhnc to see that no one is looking, then sits 
 on Mk\.J'SD.\'s chair arjn) Shi not a word, .Melinda. 1 was kinder 
 thinkin' of the — er — er — kinder considerin' the notion of — of — of — 
 giltin' married. 
 
 Melinda. Law sakes! Now Ezra! who to? 
 
 Kzra. Why to — to — to--er, I don't like to tell you, IMelinda. 
 
 Melinda. (coldly) Oh, very well, Squire Simpsiui! You kin jest 
 keep your old secret if you want to. You needn't think 1 care a 
 straw. 
 
 hJzra. But 1 am powerful anxious to tell you, IMelinda. 
 
 Melinda, Then do stop hovering about the trees and tell me. 
 
 Ezra. 'Spect I do 'pear a little kiddish, so I might as well out 
 with it. 
 
 Melinda. Course you might. Ezra. 
 
 Ezra. Gosh darned if I don't do it! IMelinda,] thought as how 
 you mighi be willin' to — 
 
A PA/R OF OOUyrRr KIDS. 5 
 
 Enter 'V\i\\\v.. \.. c. k.. drops ,>ld dedqudoted ntlise, Ezua and Mki.inua. 
 Kprtnr/ dp in surprise and slare gpeecldess at TuixiK. 
 
 Trixie. Moniin'. r..llv.-s: .lust pjissin' by and tluuiglil IM slep in 
 an(l |)!iy you my rcspecis. 
 
 Ezra. 'W.'ll. child, who be you? 
 
 y'ri.i'if. 'I'rixie. 
 
 MeUnd<(. Trixie wlioV 
 
 Trixie. Don'l know. Tli^^y never calh-d mo Trixie Who wiiere I 
 come rr(»m. 
 
 Mdindii. Liiw SiiUes: n()\v K/-r:i what ;i slriiii<;e cr^faUue: {lo 
 Tkixik) HuL whiit'syonr lather's nam.', cliihl"' 
 
 Trixie. Don'l know —never liati on.-. 
 
 M.liinla. Lawsakes! Well! nrv.-r: Toihink of a man gointj 
 Uir.'iij; li Ibis \vi>rhl w il lionL a iianif. 
 
 Kzra. Hoi. I on. M.-Jiiula. y..u di.ini und.-rsland iwr. She m.'ans 
 sIk- never had a Tallier. 
 
 Mtlnidii. Law sai<e.s: liow stupid of m.- 
 
 Hzni. (^.||r^e voii l»e. Well. Trixn-. w h.-re did \on come from? 
 
 Trivu: Poor-honse. 
 
 Kzr.i. lint why did \<>\\ come lo*re. ciiild' 
 
 Trixie'. Well, yon s.M'. I m«'l a leliow lip Ihe r'>atl a \va.\s ami I 
 ask.'d him wliere I mii:lil tind a job. and be '(.Id nu- as ho\> Sijiiire 
 Simpson had one pour-iiiMis*- Mii| already, and thai be Iboiiuhl you 
 
 mii;hl lake in and iit-r. as b»' "lowfd as bow you were ( sidt-ri iiii I be 
 
 nolioii ,d' slarlini; a n orplia n asy lii m of your own. so I jiisl buslh-d 
 ahuiir and her.- I am. Do I i;»'l a j.ili or nol. S»juir.-' 
 
 Kzra. Well, child. 1 tbui'l know lliat I'm c«»nsi<b'ri iil; si a rl i nj.^ an 
 orphan as\lnin. luil 1 'speirt y<'u musi be bun^rry. and one tiiiiii; is 
 certain. K/ra Simpson n>'\»'r Inriifd a bnni:ry pns'in from Iiis (b»or. 
 and (biniril il he l»f ^^dn' lo be^ni, ,,ii a child, so I'll jest lak»'you 
 lo Alice and she will see iliat you j.rei ail yon km t-.il. Iben Wf will 
 lin<l you a Ix-d bu* iJo- nijjiil. and ibeii we will s.-.- wlial to-morrow 
 brinL:s f.'rlli. {to Mici.iNDv) .Ifst you slay In-re a 1)lI, Melinila, and 
 I'll sn.Mi r.-i urn. (/c TuixiK) ("oine. 'I'rixie. 
 
 'inxi,\ (ie.-: but I'm ylad 1 come b«*re. I'll jest jump in and 
 work lik<' a <landy. as soon as I get a message to my stomach that 
 my lluoat isn't cut after all. 
 
 Kzra. Come, come, Trixie. cliild. 
 
 {I'xd EznA. !.. E. . leading Tuixiii by the hand 
 
 Mrlindit. (drop.s iiit<> a I'Jutir iritli a long draicn fiigfi) Law sakes! and 
 jesl as 1 Ih.inuhl I had him. 1 j«'sl -laiow he was yoiu* to pi>p jest 
 whru that cliiUlcame in. Why didn't tliegood Lord keep lier in 
 the poor-lioiisf jest a bii loii^.-r. It's hard to tell when Ezra will 
 ever yet liis couiaiiP screwed up thai far ajr'in. Hut I know wiiat 
 I'll do. I'll go aft.-r him I'll make liim speak. I'll not l.-a\.. this 
 boiisf Ibis nii;ht nniil I am an engageil i:irl. Nosirree, not a slep 
 w ill I leave, and if In- d.mi p..|> -uell. if he don't do it. poor-lioiise 
 waif or no p.i(.r-li..us.-. I'll pop myself. (exit i,. k. 
 
6 A PAIR OF CO U^\ THY KIDS. 
 
 Enter 'Ri hard Manneuing, \.. c. e., aniokiiig a cigar, very deliberately 
 removes gloves, liiys tkem with C((ne and hat on the tabled takes a fcio 
 morepuffs at cigar, then, vuilks sloicly to the toindote and throws it 
 aicay, returns to table and sits doicn. 
 
 Dick. Well, here I am at last, and before I leave this house, I'll 
 have the two missing links that binds this old -fai'm'eTs protege to the 
 events of the far past which will tlien tleHn;i.tely prove her to be the 
 heiress of w hom I am in search, {laughs) Ha, iia, ha! The heiress! 
 Let me see! What did I do with my dear deceased brothers last 
 epistle, {reaches in pocket and takes out letter, sloioly unfolds it and reads 
 aloud) "Dear Uick:" {looks from paper) Affectionate, isn't he"' 
 {reads) "1 am on my death bed, but L cannot die until I have made 
 what reparation I can for the past. 1 have made every effort to find 
 the wife and children I so cruelly deserted when the ileinon jealousy 
 whispered into my ear that Annie was false to me. 1 have partially 
 succeeded, but not w liolly. Annie died shortly after I lefther. The 
 children, two little girls, were taken to an orphan asylum not far 
 from Boston. Alice, the elder, was four years okl at the time, and 
 the other, Trixie, we called her, was but an infant. Search the 
 records of the orplian asylums and poor-houses in the \icinity of 
 Boston, and find my children. It is a dying father's mission to you, 
 I die, what the world would call a rich man. 1 leave all to my childW 
 ren. See that they get what belongs to them. I had hoped to com- 
 plete the search begun so long ago, but God in his all wise seeing 
 wills it that I abandon the task just as success seems within my 
 grasp. The attorney, whose address I send you herein, is conversant 
 with all my business affairs. All I ask of you is to find my children. 
 May God reward your efforts by success. Your dying brother, Guy 
 ]\1anneuing. p. S: — Both children had lockets conta,ining their 
 mother's picture, the letters A. M. were engraved on the outside." 
 {soUloquy) Well, I've visited the poor-houses and asylums, and must 
 say that I have been fairly successful. The child, Alice — or at least 
 a girl who might be my dear niece — I have traceil here. Have se- 
 cured a proper introduction and have made it a point to etfeet a few 
 cliance meetings. Now to ascertain if she has the locket, tlien to 
 get the old farmer's story and see if all the points tally. If st>, I will 
 make love to the girl, and once she is my wife, the cool half million 
 my ilear brother left behind, shall be mine. But if this girl is not 
 the one, I'll have to concoct some kind of a proof that the girls are 
 both dead, in which case I will be my brother's heir as next of kin, 
 and little I'll worry myself about the poor-house brats, {noise heard 
 front outside) Ah! someone is ct)ming. I'll see who it is. {steps to 
 L. c. E.) As I live, it is the girl now. Looks as though slie had been 
 out for a ramble. Gad! she isn'tbad looking to be sure. Well, willi 
 the money as a sauce I can easily swallow the pill, {sitsagain) Now 
 to play the part of a lover smitten at first sight. 
 
 Enter Alice, i,. c. e., carrying large hat or bonnet by the strings, also 
 large purse in her hand — stops in surprise at sight of Mannkking. 
 
 {Dick rises) Ali! good evening, Miss Simpson. Pardon me for tak- 
 ing the liberty, but 1 just stepped in to see your father. 
 
 Alice. I will go and find daddy and tell him that you wish to see 
 jjim. {starts toicard i,. k. 
 
A PAIR OF COUNTRY KID ^. 7 
 
 Dick. Quo moment, Miss Simpson, I am in no hurry to see the 
 ISqiiire. 1 prefer to talk lo you a while, 
 
 Alice. I fear you won't find me a very interesting person to talk 
 to. {puts hat «r bonnet and purxe on table 
 
 Dick. On the contrary, I am certain that I should enjoy a few 
 moments conversation wilh you. Besides, 1 would like you to settle 
 a point or two ui)on wliich I had an arg:ument the other day. You 
 must pardon me if I am intruding upon sacred grounds, in which 
 ease you needn't answer. I was told that Squire Simpson was not 
 your real fat her. 
 
 Alicf. Which is perfectly true, 
 
 JJ(ck. Then I lost tlie point of the ars^ument, but the Squire seems 
 to think so much of you that it is not strange that I could nt)t realize 
 that you were other than his own cliild. 
 
 Alire. Daddy and 1 love each other very dearly, 1 could not think 
 m<»re t»f him were lie indeed my father, and he thinks I remind him 
 so much of his dead si>ter. 
 
 I>i(/>. Then the Squire has lost a sister wlio was very dear t(» liim ? 
 
 Alirt'. Yes, iiis youngest sister. She has been dead many years, 
 and the circumstances surroundinji her death were very sad. 
 
 J)i('k. Would you mind telling mr about it'.' 
 
 Alire. All I know is what I ha\e liearddaihly say. 1 will l»^|| you 
 what I know. It seems that dadily's sisler, Annie, ran away iind 
 married against her {)arents wishes. The union was happy enough 
 for a few y»'ars, but in time the husltand grew jealous o[ his wife, 
 and one day, in a terrible rage, he left the wife ami two chihiren 
 without any support. The mother was proud and would not return 
 lo her parent's home, and worketl liay and night to gain a livliliood 
 for herself and two children, but in limt- she grew sickly and could 
 not lab(U- f(U- her lo\ed ones. Then it was that th«» children were 
 taken from her anti placed in an orphan asyluiu. 
 
 J)(rk-. And these two children, where a r«' they iiosv? 
 
 Alii-r. Dead. 'I'lu- orphan af^ylum burned one night, and every 
 inmate perisht'*! in I In- flames. 
 
 J)irk-. Did noli.' of them escape death? 
 
 AUcf. 1 think not. 
 
 DicL\ And the moih»M-. what of her'.' 
 
 AUre. She read of llie terrible (ire. and th« knowleilije tliat her 
 loved ones had perished in such a horril)Ie manner, was more than 
 she coulil .sur\ i\t'. Mefore she <lird, slie sent word of her where- 
 abouts to hi-r father and datldy started at once to take her home, 
 but sli«' ilievl ln'fore t Iw end of the home w aril journey. 
 
 Dirk. That is inderd a sad fate, but miglil not these children 
 lia\e escaped in some manner"/ Was there never any investigation 
 made ■' 
 
 Alire. All 1 know is that the cliiltlren were mt>urned as ilead. 
 
 Dirk. What became of the man who deserted his wife and 
 chiUlrenV 
 
 Alice. None of liis wife's fanrily had ever seen him before, nor 
 ha\e they ever seen him since. 
 
 Dirk. Mow long havt- you lived with the Simpsons'' 
 
 Al(re. 1 WHS brought here from the poor-house about four years 
 -.i^'o. 
 
 Dick. And do vou know iiolhing of your parents? 
 
S A PAIR OF GO Uy Tit r KIDS. 
 
 Alice. Not a thing. 
 
 JJic/c. And you liave not the h'ast clue to your identitjr? 
 Alice. Nothing but liiis small locl<et which holds tlie picture of a 
 nijin, whom I think may have been my father. 
 DiGk^ Will you let me see it? 
 Alice. Certainly. 
 
 Alice takes locket and chain from neck and hands it to Dick, then goes to 
 window and looks out, Dick opens locket and gazes at it in, silence. 
 
 Dick, {aside) Yes, it's poor Guy alright, and this girl is really his 
 cliild aiui heiress to that half million. Well, at least one of tlie 
 inmates of that ill fated asylum must have escaped the tiames, or 
 there has been some bad error. Oil dear me, at any rate the missing 
 linlv has been established, and now all I have to do is to win tlie 
 liltle fool for my wife— or to get her out of my way — it's immaterial 
 lo me which, so that I get the money, (aloud) And so you think 
 this may be your father's likeness? 
 
 Alice. 1 feel sure it must be.. 
 
 Dick. But was there no likeness in the other side? 
 
 {hands locket back lo Ai.icE 
 
 Alice. There was one in the ©ther side, many years ago, but in 
 some manner it was lost t)ut— ihat was before I came to live with 
 daddy. But I suppose you are tired of listening to fa.mily history, 
 so I will go and tel[ daddy that >ou want to see him. 
 
 (.•itarts toward \,. E. 
 
 Dick, {steps between Amci*: and the door) Not just yet, Miss Simp- 
 son — Alice, 1 have something else to say to you. Can you nol guess 
 what my business witli Squire Simi)Son is? 
 
 Alice. I am sure I cannoi. 
 
 Dick. Then I will tell you. 1 want to ask his permission lo my 
 calling upon you. 
 
 Alice. I do not understand you, Mr. Manneriiig. 
 
 Dick. Tlien 1 will make my meaning clearer. Alice, I have 
 known you but a short time — have met you but com|»;ir:il i vely few 
 limes, but the few times that I have met you h;ive been sufficient to 
 convince me that I prefer your society to that of any woman I have 
 f'ver known. Alice, I love you and I wantyou to promise to become 
 my wife. 
 
 Mice, (incredulous) You want me to be your wife? Why Mr. 
 Mannering, you are a total stranger to me. 
 
 Dick. Not a stranger, Alice, do not say that. Perhaps I have 
 been a little premature, but believe me, 1 love you none the less. 
 AVon'tyou promise to be my wife? 
 
 Alice. 1 can nui.ke you no such i)romise, Mr. i\lannering, because 
 1 have no idea of ever marrying you. 
 
 Dick. Do not say that. Alice, you may lui.ve time to think it over, 
 •lust think of the* a,dvaniiiu('s I could afl'ord you. I am rich, fine 
 houses, horses, carriiiges. dresses, all sluill be yours. You shall have 
 everything your heart desires. J.ust give me some hope that you 
 Avill one day be mine. 
 
 Alice, ^ir. Manneriiiu. you must be cra/y. 1 do not c;ire any- 
 thing for you, and you li;i\r no right to talk like this to in.*. 
 
 Dick. Yes, I ha,vctlir li-lit. My lo\.. lor y(»u i;i\ .-s m.- i li;i! right. 
 
 Alice. Do notspeak niioilK'r word of lo\e l(» nie. 1 will c:ill daddy. 
 
A PAIR OF CO UN TR Y KIDS. 9 
 
 iteps to I.. E. and calls) Daddy, daddy! 
 
 Dick, ((jvtixpn Alkk by arm and pulls Iter from the door) You sliiill 
 not call anybody! Yon shall listen to me! 
 
 Alice. Shall! What riyht have yon to command me? 
 
 Dick. The rijjht of love. Alice, but tell me, do you love another? 
 
 Alice. I decline to answer any of your questions. Take your 
 hand (roni my arm! 
 
 Dick. N(»t until you have listened to all I have to .say. Alice. I 
 love you — not with a chiUl's lo\e, but with the strong love of a man 
 of determination. 1 swear that you shall yet be my wife — 1 sh:ill 
 trample down all opposition, and if I can't win yon by fair mejms. 
 by heavens, I shall win you by foul. Remember, you cannot escape 
 me. 
 
 Alice. Mr. Mannerinsr, you insult me! Let me fjo, or I shall call 
 for help! Let nie go, I say! You are hurling my arm! 
 
 (Ai,ici£ tries to free herself in vain 
 
 Enter .}xcK Shahpk, l. c. e., quickly, grasps Dick and ichirls him 
 
 around. 
 
 Jack. Say, Mister, you're hurling tlje lady. Let her gt»! 
 
 Dick. The devil! 
 
 Jack. Nope! n»)t the devil Only .lack Sharpe, at your .service. 
 
 iboirs low 
 
 Dick. By what riglit do you enter here, you cursed tramp? 
 
 Jack. Hy the right any man has to assi.si a lady in distress! 
 
 hick. I'll pay you for this, you vagabond. 
 
 Jiick. Well, the account isn't tlue yet, .Mister, and until it is, vou 
 belter make yourself scarce about here. When the proper time to 
 settle arrives, I shall i)e only too glad to i^^ive you a recei|)t in fnll. 
 
 Hick. Curse your impudence! (to kx.uv.) ami as for yon. .Miss 
 Simpson, remember what I loUl you. I am a man who knows not 
 defejit, and in your c:ise my motto shall t)e. by fair means or by foul. 
 
 Jack. Sir, a man who threatens a lady is a coward! 
 
 Dick. Ladies have noihing to fear when such heroic vairabonds 
 as you are allowed to roam th« country at l:ir:;e. {.) .\iK. bmcs inr, 
 Dick picki* up hat, (/lores and cane 'ind icalks t<urard i.. v. k., lur/i.t in 
 doanray) Miss Simpson, for the present. I bid yon and that n.nne- 
 less nol)ody— that — '.hat— tramp, adieu. Hut weshall all meei iiiruin, 
 never fear. Ye.s, weshall all meet again. {lauijJtK) Ha. ha. h.i! 
 
 ie.rit L. c. K. 
 
 AUce. Oh sir, hovt can I ever thank you for what vou did? 
 
 ./.»./.•. Don't try. 
 
 Alice. 1 don't know where daddy can be. And I was so afraid of 
 that man. You just came in time. C'iin't I do something for you 
 to show yon hou' thankful I am? 
 
 Jiick. Well, noihinii- I know of, unless it might be a bite to eat. 
 I h;iven't had any supper yet. 
 
 Alice. You shall have all you want to eat— come along with me. 
 
 J<ick. Indeetl, Miss, I mucli prefer to partake of a repast out 
 under a tree. 
 
 Alice. Then I'll get your stipper and take it out there to von. 
 
 .lack. Accept my heartfelt thanks I'or all \ ..iir k i ndn.-s.s. Some 
 \\\\y you might be a trami* 
 
10 A PAIR OF COUNrilY KIDS. 
 
 Alice. What! 
 
 Jack. I — I — I — beg- your pardon, Miss, 1 didn't n-ftaii tliat. I 
 nieaii.l Lliat some day I migliL be able to reLiirn the favor, {e.iiit Ar.icE 
 L. c. E., laughuKj — Jack goes to table and puLs one foot on the chair, in 
 reflective mood) Now what the devil is Maiineriiig's game here? Why 
 does he want to marry this simple little country girl? Tliere is some 
 mystery liere and 1 am going to fathom it. Old Gregory's suspi- 
 cions of this man must be well founded. But what is hisgame here? 
 Let me put two and two together — Guy Mannering died and left a 
 fortune to his two missing daughters. The worthy brother is sup- 
 posedly searching for the lost heirs, one of whom it is now morally 
 certain, was talien from the St. Mary's Orphan Asylum just two 
 days before that institution burned. Tiie child was given into the 
 hands of an old lady who resided near Boston, but who died four 
 years ago. When the child left that home all trace of her was lost. 
 Can it be that Mannering has — by jove, I have it, Mannering has 
 found the girl and he is trying to force her into marrying him that 
 he may secure the money. AliceSimpson must be Alice Maniun-ing, 
 and the worthy uncle has found the proof. If he can't force the 
 girl to become his wife, he will do away with her, furnish proofs of 
 her death., and as next of kin, claim the money. (laui/Zia) Ha, ha, 
 ha! that is simple as one, two, three. Well, you're a smooth custo- 
 mer, Dick Mannering, but I'll raise you a point and cjill your hand 
 before this game is closed, and don't you think I won't. Now to 
 satisfy the inner man, and then to set about to prove my susi)icions 
 correct. Jack, old boy, you're on a warm scent, aiul you have a real 
 case at last. {e-i^it L- C. E., yasdng by window 
 
 Enter Hi Haskins, k. e., reading from 2mper, goes to bench, about to sit 
 
 down. 
 
 Hi. {laughs) Ha, ha, ha! ain't this g-r-e-a-t— (r^n[(?5) "How— do 
 — you — make— a — slow — horse— fast?" Answer: "Hitch— him -to 
 
 J, posti." Ha, ha, ha! {Inugh.s loudly and slapping his knees, sits i/i 
 
 basin of water— .spri/igs up) Never touched me! {goes to store or fire- 
 place quickly to dry his trousers—funny busi/tessad. lib.) Gosh, I'll never 
 git them dried this way. 'Spect 1 belter take them off and hang 
 them up. 1 can just go into the room here and wait until they dry. 
 
 Exit Hi r. e., reaches trousers out and hangs them on a chair, then with- 
 
 draiDs arm. 
 
 Enter Tuixie, l. e., eating apiece of pie and faa smeared with berry stain. 
 
 Trixie. Y-u-m — g-e-e! but 1 like my new home, and I like pie 
 too. I got a new daddy and a new sister. Whew! ain't I glad I 
 come here, {sits on table eating pie, finally spies Hi's trouser.^, holds 
 them up and surveys them critically, then qoes through the pockets, takes 
 out some marbles and lets them drop to floor) Must be a boy about t his 
 place. Woiuler where he is and what lie looks like? Woiuler if he. 
 will get mashed on me? 'Spect I'll have to make his acquaintance'' 
 Gucs's I better start in and have some fun with him. I know, I'll 
 just hide his pants. 
 
A PA 111 OF couyrii y kids. n 
 
 TiuxiE rolls TTi's pants up and puis thein in cupbixird -Hi reaches out 
 for his punts and finds them gone, sticks his head out of door and calls. 
 
 Hi. Hey! who stole my pants? 
 Trixie. Gee! there is a boy ! 
 Jli. I say, bring biiclc my pants. 
 Trixie. I ain't «;(»t yom- pants. 
 Hi. (sees 'Vmiwk) \Vht» arc you? 
 Trixie. I'm Trixie 
 Hi. Wliat you doin' here? 
 Trixie. I'm boindin' lierf now. 
 
 ///. Say, loou about for my pants and throw tliem in here to me. 
 Trixie. 1 won't do it neitiu'r. (jiuess you iiin't my boss, and I 
 don't have to do wluit you say. 
 
 ///. Tlien I'll have to come out and lool; for them myself. 
 
 Trixie. \Vh11. I ain't Ueepin' you. Why dou'l yuu come on? 
 
 Jfi. If I *lo you will be sorry. 
 
 Trixie. Oh, I don't know. 
 
 Hi. I'm com in'. 
 
 Trixie. Well, come on. 
 
 Hi. HtM-e I come. 
 
 Eittir III., u. K., in an old grain sack, with holes for feet and arms, sack 
 tied about his nerk. 
 
 Trixie. (lauf/ha) Wrll, your'e asifihi! Where are your clothes? 
 Hi. I hung my pants ui) lodryaiul some Min-ol-a-y un run oil' with 
 
 lluMU. • 
 
 Trixie. Oh, but you look funny. Wish I had your photograph. 
 AVhal tailor measureil you for your clot lu-s? 
 
 ///■. V.iu needn't think you're so smart, ami I bi'i vou took my 
 pants. 
 
 Trixie. Didn't neither. Say, you look like a bale of hay witii the 
 miildle hoop busied. Where did you gel ycuir necktie? 
 
 Hi. Dim't you git so gosh darned funny I 
 
 Trixie. And such a nice collar you have! 
 
 Hi. Shut up! 
 
 Trixie. (laughs) Ha, ha, ha! you look so funny! 
 
 ///. Well, 1 don't feel so gol dinged funny! Say, kid, who are 
 \ w n ? 
 
 Trixie. I t(^ld you once— Trixie. 
 
 Jfi. Say, Tri.xie, won't you help me find my pants? 
 
 'Trixie. I don't want you to find them, you look so funny that 
 way, just like a l»ag of wheat setting on two boots with a pnniiikin 
 covereil with reil corn silk on lop t)r it. (laughs) Ha, ha, lia' 
 
 Hi. Shut up! 
 
 Trixie. Say, who are you, Mr. Pumpkin head humi»ty-elumi»t v '' 
 
 Jfi. None of your business. 
 
 Trixie. What's ycuir luime? 
 
 Hi. Hi Haskins. if you must know. 
 
 Trixie. Where do vou live? 
 
 Hi. Here. 
 
 Trixie. St) do I live here now. Say. Hi, never mind yonr pants, 
 just come over here ami sit down, ('i'luxtio and Hi sit o'u bench — Ui 
 ;yes the pan closely, picks it up and cnnit.s it ocer and places it on the table. 
 
12 A PA IB OF C O UNTli Y KIDS. 
 
 tl,:-ii nils iloicn besiilf 'VHWWi—bolh -"it and gujglt' mid net b<i.'<]iful, fumlhi 
 
 'I'kixik eii<jes ap to Hi) .Say, I like you; you are so l'uii«iy. Are you i 
 
 niai-netl? I 
 
 7//, 'Coni-se 1 ain'l mai-ried. | 
 
 Trrxie. Gol any su eelliearL? i 
 
 111. Nawl 'course not,. I 
 
 Trixie. Ge-ee! bul I'm glad of tliat! ^ 
 
 Hi. Wliy are you glad? ^ 
 Trixie. Oh, 'cause you can be my beau and take me bui;gy riding, 
 
 and to parties, and balls, and operas, and buy me watches, ami rings ] 
 
 anil jewelry — and — and — ■ 
 
 Ul. Mewl What a long tail our cat has got. ^ 
 'Trixie. Won't you do ii? 
 
 Hi. Navv, 'course 1 won't! Tliink I'm a millionaire? ] 
 Tri.ue. Nopel I think you are funny. You look so foolish. 
 
 lU. You would look foolisli too if you iiail this thing on you. j 
 
 Trixie. Oil, but I tlon't mind ihat. Say, 1 might marry you some 1 
 
 day. \ 
 
 Hi. Better wait until I ask you. i 
 
 Trixie. Guess I wouldn't marry you either. j 
 
 Hi. Why noL? ' * ! 
 Trixie. Well, because if we got married we would have children, 
 ami our chiUlren would have children, and our children's children 
 
 would luive childriMi and they would all git to fighting ami — \ 
 
 Hi. Heyl Ki ng oft' on that. You m ust be datly. Heensmokin' 
 
 tlu' pipe? I 
 
 Trixie. I'm a lady 1 am, and 1 don't smoke! but say, Hi, is tlie 1 
 Squire V()^ir real father? 
 
 JII. Naw ! I j<'st work for him. j 
 Trixie. Say, did you u'sed to be a tramp? 
 
 Ul. '("oiirse 1 diiln't. 1 ha\e a pa, and a. ma, and a tramp is a fel- 
 low that ain't got no pa and ma, and no friends and nobody. \ 
 Trixie. Then I guess I must be a tramp, because 1 ain't got no , 
 dadily and no mother, but then 1 got friends now. The Squire and I 
 Alice are my friemls and I'm goin' to stay right here. Say, Hi, j 
 won't you aiul me be friends too? 1 
 Hi. ' 1 'spose we will, and if the Squire and Alice are your friends, j 
 vou \\ ant to be mighty gooil., ft»r they are the best ones that ever I 
 "lived.. I want to lell you. ; 
 
 Tnxle. You l)et I'm goin' to be good. Say, Hi, will you be my 
 
 beau if 1 am good? I 
 Hi. Yep. if you be good 
 
 Trixie. Ami S(»me day we will get married, won't we? 
 
 ///. Maybp. ' ' 
 
 Trixie. And wear clothes like that and look so funny? { 
 
 Hi. No I won't neither. 1 
 
 Trixie. (sers jug nnder tJie table) What's in that Jug, Hi? ! 
 
 Hi. Don't kno'w. . 
 
 Trixie. I'm goin' to see. {(jets jug from under table, talk-en out cork \ 
 
 and smells) Smells like cider, {pours .some out) Looks like cider. ■ 
 
 (tasttsit) Tastes like cider, {takes big dri/ik) It is cider. Whew! j 
 
 bul it's good. 1 
 
 JII. {after looking longingly at the jug and fidyetiny about) Tri.xie, j 
 
 gi\e me some. • j 
 
A PA IR OF CO UNTR Y KIDS. 13 
 
 Trixie Just :i little, (hands jur/ to Hi, ichn drinka —Tiunw, imtches 
 him and then fries to take thejny away when she thinks Hi has htidenanyh, 
 he pushes her away and conlinnes to drink — finally 'Y^kwxk (jets the jug 
 away from \\\ and drinks more herself — looks into jug) Sivy, Hi, the jug 
 is only hair In 11. 
 
 Jit. (josh: What will the Squire say when he misses it? 
 
 Trixie. Will he miss it? 
 
 Ni. 'Course lie will. 
 
 I'rixie. 1 have an idea. 
 
 Hi. Wliat is if.' 
 
 Trixie. {takes jug to water pail it ttd fills ii up) Just you watch me- 
 Now I {i^uess he won't miss if. ( pntsjuij li,i,-l,- inider f.ihlel 
 
 Hi. Say. Trixie, you're :i hricU. 
 
 Trixie. 'C\)urse 1 am Thiiil< I d.ju'l i^llow umiIhu". 
 
 Jfi. 'Course you know soiulhin", so <h« 1. don't I, '['n-xie? Say, 
 my head feels so lunny. 
 
 Trixie. So (lues mine. 
 
 Hi. Trixie, how many liands have you? 
 
 Trixie. Two. 
 
 Hi. Is that all? I — I - Ihou-ht you had fonr. 
 
 Trixie. It — il'sytui thai has lour. 
 
 Hi. {holds out his hands) (in»'ss 1 have. 'I'rixie. S;iv, Tri.vie, 
 w hat's in I hal ol her ju«:'.' 
 
 Trixie. Didn't know there was twojujjs. I'll see. (.ftaf/r/ers over 
 to jug and reaches with hoth hands ,ts though to pick up /wo jw/.s. lake.t tlie 
 one handle in both hands) There ain't two jujrs. Hi. 
 
 ///. Y-y-yes there is, Tri.xie. You have ihem l»oth. 
 
 Trixie Have I. Hi ? 
 
 Hi. Course you have. Give me one. 
 
 Trixie. (goes tolli and hands hun the jug) There it is. Hi. 
 
 J/i. S;iy, 'I'ri.xie, what did you do wilii the other (.iie? 
 
 Trixie. I don't know . Hi. Must have let it drop, (gets down on 
 fioor and feels for the jug —looks up at Hi) S-s-say, Hi, who's that 
 r>\\ t iii«( by you ? 
 
 Hi. (reaching around) N-u-n-no luie, Trixie. 
 
 Trixie. Ain't there, Hi? 
 
 Hi. No, but Iot)k out, Trixie. there's someone behind you! 
 
 Trixie. (turns around quickly) No, there ain't. Hi. 
 
 Ifi. Ain't there, Trix ? 
 
 Trixie. (looking out door) Hi. I didn't know the S(iulr.' ha«i a teum 
 of lireys. 1 thons>hi, lie only had one. 
 
 ///. H*! ain't jiot iu team nuiher. (looking out the door) Y-y-ves 
 he h:.s. ' ■ 
 
 Trixie. Say, Hi, why diui't you walk straight? 
 
 Hi. I-l-l am walking straight. It's you that is waddlin' like 
 our old duck. 
 
 Trixie. Say. Hi. you dr:ink too much cider. 
 
 Hi. Naw. 1 didn't, it was v«)u that .hank loo much. 
 
 Trixie. I'm goin' out there and lay liown under one of those trees. 
 
 Hi. There ain't» two trees out I here. (look.'<out) Y-\-\-tvs there 
 is nin'i there? Guess Die Scjuire must hav.- just planted one. An' — 
 an' -and there is two of ever\ thing, ain't tliere Trixie? 
 
 Trixie. Believe there is. Hi. 
 
 Hi. Trixie, I J believe you are drunk. 
 
U A PA m OF CO UJ^ TR T KIDS. 
 
 Trixie. It's you that's drmik, Hi. 
 Hi. Maybe we are both di'uiik, Trixie. 
 Trixie, Maybe we are. 
 
 Hi. Tlieri you go out and lay down under one tree and I'll lay 
 down nnder tiie other. 
 Trixit'. Ali-ighl, Hi. 
 
 {exit, Hi and Tkixie. l. c. d. staggering and holding to each other 
 
 Elder Manning r.. c. d. 
 
 Hick, {hiiighs) Ha, ha, luil 1 woiuler what's the matter with 
 the kids. IMie one iu tiie old bag e.specia!ly. Ha, ha, ha! But t 
 ha\e no time to langli at tht^ir pra,nUs. It'.s business with me. 
 {.seating him.teff) Gness I was a little too hasly. ^VeII I'll just see the 
 oUi man, olTei- my apologies antl await my time. I see it is to be a 
 tiiiht to the finish and no quarter. I see I can never win tlie girl 
 peaceably, so I'll use force, {hits coffee pot and upseta it, money tam- 
 tea out — Dick counts it over) Wliew! Kind of careless in the old 
 man to let his dough lay around like this. Three hundred and fif- 
 ty dollars. A nice little sum, but I'm not a common thief, {sees 
 A \.h:k' a purse on the table) Tlie girl's purse. Suppose the old man 
 could be made to believe that she stole the money? He would drive 
 her fron.i his home and then she would be within my reach. I could 
 ilictate terms to her then, a great scheme. I'll just try it— no harm 
 done if 1 fail. I'll put the money in her purs — eer, no— no, not all. 
 if I put it all in she could return it and be forgiven. I'll just put 
 part of it in and the balance — well, a coui)le hundred wouldn't come 
 in bad for my own private use. Yet, were- I suspecteil and the 
 money found on me, it w(mld be bad. Belter not risk it. I have it, 
 I will hide the balance of it aiul after all is quiet 1 can get it. Now 
 my haujjhty little country lass, this game has fairly opened, and 
 the stake is half a million. We will see if you dare pit your wils 
 against mine, {puts part of 7Jioney in pur.ie, leaving end of a bill .stick- 
 i)ig out and thebalance in hif< Jiand) Now I'll hide this part of il, sta}' 
 uearby and watch the fuse burn toward the powder. {exit l. c. d. 
 
 Enter, Ezra and Tkixie, l. k. 
 
 Ezra. Now leetle gal, don't you know you shouldn't be laying 
 around .on the ground in this chilly night air? You will injure 
 vour health. Why you — you act as if you were a bit sick now. Do 
 you feel bad ? 
 
 Trixie. N-n-no-o-o I'm alright. Squire. 
 
 Ezra. Then come over here and set down on my knee and tell 
 me all you kin about yourself, {leads TiiixiE to chair and sits doion 
 taking her upon his knee) And you don't know who your dad is, eh? 
 
 Trixie. Nop! Never saw him. 
 
 Ezra, How sad! And you iU)n't know your real name? 
 
 Trixie. They never knew my dad, but Mr. Jones, he's the fellow 
 that kept the poor house, told me that I was sayed froiu an awful 
 fire in which ever so many children were burned to death. (SqL'iiiU 
 icipes his eyes) Why Squire, I really believe you are cry in. 
 
 Ezra. Well maybe 1 do be cryin', leetle one, fer when you men- 
 tion thet fire it remiiuls me of a very dear person — a sister of mine. 
 
A PA IR OF CO UNTR 7 KIDS. 15 
 
 leelle gal. 
 
 2'rixie. Did slie burn up? 
 
 Kzra. No, she didn't burn up, but two of her dear children did, 
 and tlie shock killed her. But there 1 can't talk about it any more 
 now. Guess I — I— got a big carpet tack in my eye. 
 
 Trixie. Will you tell nie all about it sometime? 
 
 Ezra. Yes, sometime before you go away from here. 
 
 Trixie. Oh! but I'm iu)t goinu away fr»)m here" at all; I'm just go- 
 ing to stav here for ynod and help do the wori<. 
 
 h:zt'a. You be? Well we will see about thai later. But tell nie. 
 leelle gal, didn't you have some chithes left or some leetle triiikt-t 
 Ihet vou could find out who you be? 
 
 Trixie. Oh, yes, 1 have a locket that was (ui my neck. Do y.ni 
 want to see it? (redclieiffin- lorLet (inni/id her iier/,- 
 
 Ezra. Not now, leetle one; 1 aint got my ;:l;isses on. aiul 1 can't 
 see it without them. Some other time 1 will look at it. Can you 
 sing? 
 
 Trixie. Oh, I used to sing h.ls to the other children. Do you 
 want me to sing for you? 
 
 Ezra. If you will] leetle gal. 
 
 Song by T\<\xiK~-ifeutime)it<il rhilih aonff, either Ktanditifj by Ezka's si(U 
 or .iHiing upon his knee. 
 
 Enter Ai.iCK l. E. while TnixiK stingy, renmint in silence near ejitrance 
 
 {at conclusion of song) Well done, leetle gal. Do y(ui know you 
 make me feel as though I hail a whole paper of lacks in n)y t-yes. 
 
 (iriites eyes irith ImndkercliieJ 
 
 Alice, (steps up behind Ezka) Daddy, who have we here? 
 
 hJzra. {look* up at Ai.icK) I've been lookin* for you. Alice. I 
 want you to put this leetle gal to bed, dear. She was frit'n(lle.ss like 
 you once were, but she shanl go out into the worUI again. She 
 shall stay here tintil she has a good home to go tt), and until then, 
 she shall help you with the work. 
 
 Alice. Oh diidtly, y(>u are s«) good! But what is her name? 
 
 h!zra. Trixie, she says. 
 
 Trix. That's it, just plain Trixie. And say, I'm awful glad I 
 come here, {goes to Ai.uk and puts her arm about her) I — I — like 
 him awful well, an'-antl I know I'll love you. We will be sisters, 
 won't we? 
 
 Ezra. Yes, gals, that's right, jest you two be sisters. I 'spect 
 you have both been kinder lonesome like. 
 
 Trix. Yes. I've been a whil lonesome, and I'm so glad I have a 
 dadily ami a sister now. ('.m I kiss my sister? 
 
 Alice. Of course you m;iy. (Tkixik /i./."*.*^.? Ai.iCK tchose locket catches 
 on Alice's dress and pulls out) Why, \\ here did you get that locket? 
 It is mine. 
 
 Trix. Inileed it ain't! I have had it ever since I was a little baby — 
 so 1 have. 
 
 Alice. I have one just like it then. I'll get it. 
 
 {.tiarts tturard door r. e., picks up ?ier purse on table 
 
 Ezra. Wait a minute. Alice. I have something to tell you, and [ 
 must tell you before I forget ii. 
 
 Alice, [goes to Ezka) What is it, daddy, dear? 
 
16 A PAIR OF COUNTRY KTDS. 
 
 Ezra. Alice, you kin liave tluil silk dress yoii liave wjyited sobad. 
 
 Alice. Oh daddy! Can I rea,lly ? Ihitg.f diul kisxe.s \£,ziiJ^ 
 
 Ezra. 'Dftul yon can, child. Just see tlie money I got Lo-ilay, and 
 part of \i— {reaches for coffee j)ot and discover a it einpty) Gad I Tlie 
 money is gone! I liave been robbed! Who has taken my money? 
 1 1 was there only half a,n hour ago. 
 
 Alice. Are yon sure you left it there? 
 
 Ezra. Yes, yes. I know I did. 
 
 Alice. AVho has been aronml ? 
 
 Ezra. I don't know. All I know is tliat the money was there. 
 Hut ril find the thief-ril find him! 
 
 {starts toward c. D., grabbing hat from table 
 
 Enter, Dick c. d., meeting Ezka in the doorway. 
 
 Dick. Ah, you are Squire Simpson, are you not? 
 
 Kzra. Yes, I be. 
 
 Dick. Well. I'm a detective from Boston, and it seems I am here 
 just in time to render valuable service. I heard you say you had 
 been robbed. AVhat luive you lost, Squire? 
 
 Ezra. Thre« hundred and fifty ilollars! Robbed right in my 
 own house in broad day. 
 
 Dick. Have you any idea who could have taken tiie money? 
 
 tCzra. No person l>as been liere. 
 
 Dick. I ditl'er with you. I myself saw a young tramp leave this 
 room but a few moments ago. 
 
 Kzra. A tramp in my house — in this room? 
 
 Dick. Certainly he was. I believe he was talkinjr to the young 
 lady here. {i/idica/es A(,ici<: 
 
 Alice. Daddy, he didn't take the money, I know he didn't. 
 
 Kzra. Alice, who was the fellow? 
 
 Alice. I did not know him, daddy, but I do know he diii not take 
 the money. 
 
 Ezra. After tlie fellow! {to Dick) You say you are an officer of 
 the law. It is your duty to catch him! 
 
 Dick. Not too iiasty. Squire. I do not say the fellow took the 
 money. Perhaps it hasn't been stolenatall. Maybe you put itsome 
 place else. See, iiere is a bill sticking- partly outof this young lady's 
 purse. The balance may be "there also. 
 
 Dick })oints to purse Alice is holding — Ezra grabs it roughly and opens 
 it and counts the money — Dick stands with smile of triinnph — 
 Amck stands stup/Jied — .\ \CK appears in c. D. 
 
 Ezra, (to Ai.wi:) Cal, what does this mean? But it is not all 
 here. What have you done with the balance of it? {counts money 
 
 Alice. Daddy! i)a.tldy! 1 know nothi ng about this. Oh, believe 
 me, I didn't know it uas there. 
 
 Ezra. Stop gal. lest 1 pray God to strike you dead wilii the lie 
 upon your lips! Oh to tliiniv that \ou should do this! And 1 have 
 loved you as I would niv own cliild! My poor oUl heart is l)rea.i<ing! 
 
 Alice. Daddy, daddy, 1 — I — 
 
 Ezra. Hush! Not another word from you! (Jive me IlieWalance 
 of the money andthengol There is the »loor. {points toe. v.) Never 
 dare darken it again ! 
 
 Jack, (stands in the doorway as Ai.ich:, with bowed head, goe.y Imcardit) 
 
A PA in o F ( '() i\\ ru y ki ds. . i? 
 
 Ezra Simpson, you iire maUing :i sail !iii.slaUr! 
 
 Ezra. How ilare you, a liainp. ♦Miler lliis house! 
 
 J<ick. Once before, iliis evening, I saved this young lady from the 
 insulis of a cur. anil I'm lirre to save her again, (to Alice) Miss, 
 my appearances are not such sis to invite yhnr confidence, but I'm 
 lionesl, tiir<Migh and tlirough. You are being driven frcjm home 
 now, but rest assured that Squire Simi)S()n will soon see his mistake, 
 and he will then ask your forgiveness. Until then I swear to stand 
 between you and harm. Do you trust me. Miss' 
 
 Alice. Yes, but I — I — didn't take the money. 
 
 Kzra. Not another of your lies, you ungrateful girl! There is the 
 door! Go! (Ai.tck steps neur the door — ^.\cK ctitrhnt her by thehdiid 
 
 J'ick Yes. she will go, and I shall take her to a place of safety. 
 (ti> Dick) And as for you, Mannering, this is one of your low 
 dirty tricks, and I thitdv 1 see your hand. You will find me right 
 in the i,r;itne to the finish and in tin- ^'^ld 1 will call your hand, no 
 mailer how high the slakes. 
 
 Dir/c. Hah! What do I care for the threats of a tramp? 
 
 ./(ir/c. Perhaps you will find me not so much of a tramp as I look, 
 at tlie finish, and when the end comes I'll bi; right on hand, you bet! 
 
 Kilter, Hr c. k. $tagijering — xoeara bag. 
 
 Hi. And So will I be. l)y irosh ! 
 
 nCTl'RK—Kzra pointing to the door— Jack holding Ar.iCR's hatid and 
 leddinf/ her to door Al.icK holding otlitr hand out to EzKA — DiCK 
 smiliiiq sarcastically. 
 
 SLOW CIRTAIN. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 SCENE T — Street i^cene in Boston. 
 
 Kilter, Dick i,. k. 
 
 Dick. Well things have come to a prelly pas.i now. but I'll sliow 
 them a trump trick yet. That tramp has led me a nice chase, but 
 1 Ixuow where he has the girl secreted, and I'll have her tiefore tiiis 
 niglit is over, or my name ceases to be Mannering. [lonkA nt watch) 
 Three o'clock! Tug and his pal should be here l>y this li?ne. (lin>ks 
 I,.) (Jood: Here they come now. Well, Tug is a trustwiutiiy fel- 
 low anil 1 guess he will do my bidding. 
 
 Enter, Tug and Chub l. k. 
 
 Tug. Hello Cap. Ain't kept you waiting, have 1? 
 
 Dick. No. I just came. 
 
 Tug. Well, what's the work you have for me and me pa! here? 
 
 Dick, it's a piece of rather risky business. Tui:. 
 
 Tug. Whai's I he ilif. so long as the pay is good? We ain't afraid 
 are we, Chuli '.' 
 
 Chub. Naw! Course not. 
 
18 A PA III V CO UN TR Y KIDS. 
 
 Elder, Tkixie r. b., dressed as a newsboy, unseen by UiCK, TuG and Chub. 
 
 Dick. Tug, do you know where the old box factory is down near 
 Brown's wharf? 
 
 Tuy. Sure we do. Don't we Cliub? 
 
 Chub. Course we do. 
 
 Dick. Well, in tlie old frame house, two doors below the factory 
 office, lliere is a young- woman in hiding that I want. In some 
 manner I want iier decoyed to the old wharf. Now I don't care how 
 you «>et lier there, just so you do it. 
 
 Tny. Wlio do we have to look out for? 
 
 Dick. She is slaying- witli an old woman who does janitor work 
 for old Gregory, tlie hiwyer. You have nothing to fear from lier, 
 l)iit lot>k out for a y<uiiig Iramp who calls himself Jack Sharp. It 
 setMUs that lie lias apiiointed himself this young lady's guanlian 
 anyel, and if he catches you lie will fight like hell. Now I'd suggest 
 I hat you send her a. letter purporting to come from this fellow. 
 iruni[»ing up some reason for meeting him at the old wharf just 
 after dark. I'll be on hand wtien she comes. You fellows be in 
 hiding nearby that you can answer my whistle if I need your help. 
 
 'itiy. Alright, Cap, you can count on Chub and me every time. 
 We'll have the girl here Ijy eight if we have to carry iier here. But 
 what's lier name. Cap? 
 
 Dick. Alice Simpson is the name she goes by. 
 
 Tacj. AVell once we get a hold on the young lady she will keep her 
 appointment with Cap. or I'll eat my hat. 
 
 Dick. I must be going now. Remember 1 depend upon you fel- 
 lows. Don't disappoint me, and when I get the girl in niy po»\er, 
 one hundred dollars will be your pay for tlie trouble. 
 
 Tuy. Uglil 1 can see luyself spending that money now. Why 
 it's a lead pipe cinch, eh Chub? 
 
 Clmb. Sure thing. 
 
 Dick. See that you lay your plans well. Y'ou know I don't ex- 
 cuse failures. {^xit, l. k, 
 
 Tug. Oh we will have her there alright enough, never fear, my 
 dear Cap. Say, Chub, let's celebrate our good luck. 1 have a quar- 
 ter. 
 
 Gfnib. Hurrah! Come on then; we're off for Mike's place. 
 
 {exit, Tug and Chub, t-. e. 
 
 Tri.t. Now I wonder what those blokies were scheming about. 
 That one was Mannering alright, and the other iwo lot)ked as though 
 they ought to be in jail. They want to meet someone on the old 
 wharf just after dark, and that someone is in tlie old frame house 
 just below the box factory, eh? Her name is Alice Simpson. Who 
 is Alice Simpson? Let me see. Name sounds kinder familiar like. 
 Squire Simpson, I have it, li's tlie girl that was to be my new sister— 
 the one that run away with tliat tramp fellow. I don't believe she 
 ever stole a cent of tliat money, so I don't. Ge-e-e! I got scared and 
 run away to. Didn't 1 scoot though. But I wonder what that man 
 wants to do with Alice? At ihe wharf at dark, eh' Well I know 
 know where the liouse is, and I'll go and see if it is my Alice, and 
 if it is I'll tell her what 1 heard tlie blouies say. Guess I can tiiul 
 her alright and she will be glad to see me. I'll just do a little de- 
 tective work myself. 1 have it. I'll go to the house ami see if it's 
 her, and if it is we will get that tramp fellow, if lie is around, and 
 
.4 PA in <»F COVXTR V KIDS. 19 
 
 {heu we will f.K.I Mr. li.id M:iiiiir-rs in liivjil sh:ipe. Ge-e-i'-e! {looks 
 off \<.) Siii-H :is I li\ .'. iiri-,- (-(.iiit^^ Stinii-e Simpson now. Well I won't 
 let liitn l<h()W u liii 1 :ini iu>i lu i;ei rven with liini for sending poor 
 Alice ;iu ;i y. 
 
 Killer. \v/.H\. K. K. icitJi JiiDid hag a ml in reflective mood. 
 
 Trix. {huinimiq into Ezka) Papers! Extras! All about the mur- 
 der! 
 
 Kzru. (iosli ding il! Walcli where you are goin'; will youV 
 
 Trix. Papers, all aliont the niunler. Only a penny, Mister. 
 
 Kzru. What murder, boy".' 
 
 Trix. Well you see i lie potaloe bug eat i he eyes out of the potatoe 
 and tlie poor thing liied because it couldn't see. 
 
 Ezra. Great t(»maioes, but you are a fresh Uiil! 
 
 Trix. Say, Mr Hayseetl, what lime is if.' 
 
 Kzra. {looking at icatr/i) It wants just five minutes to three. 
 
 Trix. Well then in just five minutes yt>u get up on your perch 
 and crow, see".' {exit i,. k.. icalking proudly 
 
 /'Jzra. (looking af I er T\i\X\\<:) In just li\ .• tninutrs get up on your 
 rot)St and crow, s»'.'".' (Kzu.a iralk'< toirnrd u. iralelting after 'Tkixik 
 
 Enter, Tug <///(/ Chub u. k.. Kzka backn into Tuo. looks around and 
 atareft at luni in tiilenre. 
 
 Tug. Say, Mister, can you ;;ive me change for a Wwt't 
 
 Kzra. 'Spect I Uin. 
 
 Tug. Will you Uindly let me have it"' 
 
 K'/.H.K l(ikes out /lift irallet, unirr.ips a long .string —comical business with 
 t/ie ctrptt bag and icailet. 
 
 Ezra, {counting out niontg) One and one are two, and one are 
 three and one are foura:ul - 
 
 Tug. {ifit/idratog one btU and jtuts it in Ui.t pocket) Three, sir, only 
 three. You luily gave me three. 
 
 Ezni. [as* he counts bilU ocer) Guess you be right. Well, there be 
 (»ne more. That makes four and one are five. 
 
 'I'ug. TlianU you sir. 1 am sorry I liad to bother you. 
 
 (Tuo and Chub start to icalk aicay 
 
 Kzra. Hold on a minule iliere. 
 
 Tug. Well.' 
 
 Kzr>i. Ain't you f(»rgetling somelhin*. 
 
 Tug 1 I hink not. 
 
 Ezrii. How about the five? 
 
 Tug. Oh the five! Sure enough! There you are, sir. {hands 
 K'A\i\ the hilt) How about the five".' (laughs) Ha, lia, ha! 
 
 C/iub. Yes, how about the five, (laughx) Ha. Iia,'ha! 
 
 {exit Tuo and (.'hib. l. e. 
 
 Ezra. Well, how about tl>e five, ho. ho," IVo! 
 
 Enter, .I.\ck n. e.. buinp.t into Eziia, who grabs up hit carpet bag, feeln 
 for his pursr. .sfares at Jack and then recognizes him. 
 
 Ezra. \Vhy you be thai tramp fellow who wentaway with Alice. 
 Jack. I am Jack Sharp, 
 
g(^ A PAIR OF COUNTRY KIBS. 
 
 Ezra. Tell me, sir, where my leeLle gal is. I've been lookiiig all 
 over the city for her. I want to tell her that I know she didn't steal 
 that money, and take her back home. Oh sir, do you kngvv where 
 she is? 
 
 Jack. Yes, I know wliere she is. 
 
 Ezra. And you will take me to her? 
 
 Jack. In a short time. 
 
 Ezra. Can't yon take me now — this very minute? 
 
 Jack. Not just yet. Squire. I have something of importance to 
 talk over w ith yon, and I havn't lime just now. Meet me down by 
 Brow n's old wharf in about two hours and then I will take you to 
 the girl. ]>ut 1 say Squire, I saw you talking to a couple of suspic- 
 ious looking iVIIows a bit ago. What was their game? 
 
 tJzra. Tiieir jiaine? I'hey ain't got no game, I just changed a 
 five dollar bill for one of them. 
 
 Jack. Let me see the five. 
 
 hJzra. {handfi Jack the bill) There it be. Good, ain't it? 
 
 Jack. Oh yes, it's good. 
 
 Ezra. 1 thought so. 
 
 Jack. For nothing. 
 
 Ezra. You don't mean to say tliat it's counterfeit. 
 
 Jack. Just what it is. Squire, but I know those fellows and I'll do 
 what I can to get your money back for you. Don't forget Bri>wn's 
 wharf in two hours. (exit i-. e. 
 
 Ezra, {looks after Jack and then at the bill) Buncoed, by gosh I 
 
 {exit L. E. 
 
 Hi. {fieardfroni off it.) No I ain't no hayseed! 
 
 Voice, {heard from off n.) Yes you are, you rube. 
 
 Hi. {heard from off \i.) Ain't a rube, nuther! 
 
 Voice, {heard from off li.) Goon or I'll knock your block oflP. 
 
 Enter, Hi u. e., backwards. 
 
 Hi. Can't do it! Gosh dern you, why don't you come on? (ges- 
 tiire.t as though fighting — shower of clubs, bricks and cans knocking Hi 
 down who, sits up, raises his arm and acts as though to icard off' blows) 
 Never touched jne! {hoots and jeers heard from off' stage of farmer, 
 rube, h<(yseed, pumpkin head etc. gets up and brushes himself off) I 
 wonder how they knew I was from the coutitry. {looks off' k.) Huh! 
 Here comes one of them now. Weil, if he says beans to me 1 will 
 liaul off and bitf him one, I will by gravy! I'll show him a trick or 
 two 1 learned down on the old farm. I will by gum! 
 
 (Hi stiffens up and looks straiqhl front 
 
 Enter, Tkixie u. e., looks at Hi a moment in surprise. 
 
 Tri.v. {aside) It's Hi, sure as I live! Dear old Hi. Now I will have 
 some fun with him. (^o Hi) Hello farmer! 
 
 Hi. How do you knt)W I'm a farmer. 
 
 2Vi.v. Oh, I can tell by the style of your clotlies. 
 
 Hi. What's the matter with my clothes? 
 
 IVix. Why don't you let your shoes have a party and invite your 
 pants down? 
 
 Hi. Pants are long enough to suit me. 
 
 Trix. Pull down vour vest. - - 
 
A PA IR OF CO UN Tli Y KIDS. n 
 
 Hi. ipiilh doitit vent) Wiiiit come down no further. 
 
 Trix. Wipt* your hrfiiUlast »»flF your chin. 
 
 Hi. {tcipfs chin icit/i kand then looks at it) Nolhin' on niy chin. 
 
 7Vix. Why (ion'L you give a booLblacU a nickel and gttl some of 
 the country nitui off your l)oots, see? 
 
 Ht. Gosh, tliey tUt be a bit inudily. 
 
 7'rix. Sure I hey are. And your head must have swelled since 
 you bought that h;il. Yonr head is too large for it. WIomi you 
 rubes come to town wliy don't you spruce up a bit. 
 
 Hi. Ain't none of yonr business. 
 
 Trix. Oh, it ain't, ain'i it? Well I'll show you! Say, country, 
 you're gettin' too fresh, iind I'm g<»in' to take a turn out of you. 
 I'm ffoin' to lick you right luM-e. see'.' 
 
 Hi. Well goslrdern \<tu. come (Ui and try it. 
 
 Trix. I ain't going to try it: I'm going to do it, see? Here goes'. 
 
 Tkixtk ffoea (it Hi <id. lih.—r,nnlr xpurriiifi -finally Hi 'jets his ana nbout 
 Tkixik's iicrk ttnd palls <(//" Uer rap mid her hair fulls diiicu —Hi lets 
 her (JO in xtirprige. 
 
 Hi. Gosh derneil if you iiin't a girl. 
 
 Trix. (litughit) Of course I ii m a girl. Don't you know m><. Hi 
 
 ///. Tri.vie. by gingt-r! 
 
 7V/>. Yes, Tii.xie. 
 
 Hi. What be you «loin' with those boys togs on, Trixie? 
 
 Tri.r. Playing del »'C live. 
 
 Hi. Playing delect i\e".' What (h» you mean ? 
 
 Trir. Lisl.-n and I will tell you. Hi. 
 
 Hi. I'm lislfiiing. 'ire away, Trixie. 
 
 '/■//>. Hi, I Ixuow wlo'i-e Alice is. 
 
 Hi. (ill out. 
 
 Tri.v. lltuirst Irulh, I do. 
 
 Hi. .Where is she'.' 
 
 Trix. Staying with an old woman down near Brown's wharf. 
 
 ///. I..ets go to lier right away. 
 
 Trix. Alriirhi. Hi, and we can't be too quick. 
 
 H(. What do you mean. Tri.xie' 
 
 Trix. (J<t^h. I jireiiy near forgot all about it, t)iit rliat bad Man- 
 ners lias fount! mit where she is. and lie i.s up to some devilment, 
 because I heanl him plotting with a couple of tough blokies. 
 
 ///. What did they sa.y '.' 
 
 Trix. I heard bad Manners tell them to get her down to Brown's 
 wliarf at dark and he would be there — Oh Hi, I am so glad you come. 
 Oh you dear old. Hi. {(jire» him a huff) Now we can save her from 
 him, for he means her harm. 
 
 ///. .lust you lead the way. Tiixie. mui if thai skunk comes 
 around here a hnninr ir^uhN-. lu-'jl find if. dern ine if hedon't. I'll 
 knock him to kingdom come, I will by go.^h.' {iXiniit u. k. 
 
22 A PA Hi OF CO UNTU Y K IDS. 
 
 SCEXE 11. — Wkarf lii rear— raised platform —set house with door, t,., — 
 bo.ves and barrels scattered about, small boxes piled high on barrel near 
 door of set house— practical ic, 1 a/id 2 e. on stage level a/fti three on 
 platform — rope and small bundle fastened on door L., part of rope 
 hanging down. 
 
 Enter Hi l. 2 e. followed by a shower of missels and cries of rube, farmer 
 
 and etc. 
 
 Hi. Nevei- touched mel {reads joke from paper) "Why does a 
 s<ailoi' know that the moon is made of green cheese? [sits on bo.v,) 
 Because lie has been to sea (see) — " {lauyhs loud) That's a pretty 
 good one alright, (laughs) Here be another one. (reads) "Wliat 
 is the difference between a spendthriftand a pillow?" Ge-e-e! but 
 that one is a corker. What is a spendthrift. S-p-e-n-d-t-h-r-i-f-t. 
 Oh yes, I know what he is. He is a fellow that spends all liis 
 money. Lets see what the difference \ii—{read.s) "One is hard up 
 and the other is soft down" (laughs) Gosh, but that's a funny one 
 too! But here is a piece of poetry, (reads) "Which is the stronger, 
 see, a horse or a bumble bee? The horse pulls on the level, but the 
 bumble bee backs' up an(i pushes like the devil." (laughs louder than 
 ever) AVliew! but this Pickerings from Puck is great. I woiuler 
 where the Squire is. He came to the city to find Alice. Ifiin'tgoin' 
 to feed the hogs and do the chores all by myself. 'Spect the Squire 
 would be awful mad if he knew I came to. the city. Guess I'll sit 
 right here and if Alice comes along, I will stop her. Funny she 
 wasn't at tlie house when Trixie and me went there. AVoiuler where 
 she could be. Wonder where Trixie is. Wonder where anybody is. 
 Guess I'm lost, but this must be the old wharf. Trixie told me to 
 wait liere for her. Wonder where she be. 
 
 Enter, Tkixie. l. 2 e. 
 
 Trix. Hello Hi, are you here? 
 
 Hi. Course I be. Gosh, but I'm glad to see you, Trixie. 
 
 7V/x. And I'm glad to see you, Hi. But I ain't found Alice yet. 
 Nobody to home at the old house. Maybe we got in the wrong 
 place, Hi. 
 
 ///. Nop, that was tlie old frame house alright. 
 
 Trix. Then we will stay right around liere and if them fellows 
 find her and bring her here, we will be right here to help her. 
 
 ///. Ge-e-e-e! but j'ou are smart, Trixie. 
 
 ■ I'rix. 'Spect 1 am. but move over and let me sit down on part of 
 your box. You ought to know enough to offer a lady a seat. 
 
 (Hi moves over and Tiiix sits beside him on the box 
 
 Hi. Say, Trixie, 1 like you. 
 
 Trix. Ileal ly. Hi ? 
 
 Hi. Criss cross, honest truth. (crosses breast) 
 
 Trix. Guess you're my beaux, ain't you. Hi? 
 
 Hi. Yep! Guess 1 :i ni. 
 
 Trix. You ain't got any other girl, have you. Hi. 
 
 Hi. Naw! Course 1 itiu't. You're my girl ain't you, Trixie;. 
 
 Trix. Gue.ss I am. l)ut 1 luiven't time to listen to you mnking 
 love t() me now. 1 have some imporlii.nt work to do. You go lay 
 down and take a sleep and I'll watch for Alice to come along. 
 
A PA in OF COUNTRY KIDS, W 
 
 ITi. Gosh, I'll do it. 
 
 I'rix. That's a good boy. Hi, don't snore. 
 
 Hi. (goes up on wharf, looks (iround and then craioU down behind) 
 If yoii need my perteclion, Trixie, just call nie. I'll sleep with one 
 eye open. Guess I won't sleep at nil. I'll just get tlowti in this nice 
 cool place and read my Pickerings Iroin PncU. {di.vippears) 
 
 Trix. Now I must find Alice :ind tell \Vhat I heard. 
 
 TuixiK starts toicard i,. 2 E., metis Jack 
 
 Enter, Jack l. 2 v.. — Tkixie starts in surprise. 
 
 Jack. Hello, little one, I thought I left you bacU on the fjirm? 
 
 Trix. Oh Mr. Tramp, but I'm glad to see you. 1 — 1— have some- 
 thing to tell you. I — I— Unow where Alice is. 
 
 Jack. You do? WpII so do I. 
 
 I'rix. Th-th-that isn't what I mean. I mean Mr. Bad Manners 
 knows where she is and he has sent some bad men ti* get her and I 
 fear they have her, becau.»e I went to the house and she wasn't 
 there. 
 
 Jack. I^ut I just left her at the house. Quick, child tell me what 
 you mean. 
 
 Trix. Well I lieard that man and two others talking about her. 
 
 Jack. What did Ihey .sa> . Quick, cliild tfll me every word. 
 
 Trix. I'll tell you all I hear»l. 1 was selling papers and come 
 right up close to lliem. I Iward Mr. iiad Mann»'rs say that Alice 
 was in the old frame house over y(»n(h-r. He called one of the fel- 
 lows Tug and told him to write Alice a leiirr ami sign your name to 
 it and tell \w\' to me»'t you at this old wharf just after dark. Then 
 he said he would take care of her. I know he means iier harm. 
 
 Jiick. Y(»u say she \\ as to come In-re? 
 
 Trix. Yes. riuht ht-rf. 
 
 Jiit'k. (asidf) So Maniipriiig is determined to get her, is he. 1 
 must know liis gain*'. I feel certain that Alice is Guy Manm-rings 
 chihl, hut this unprincipled wretch of a brother must furnish me 
 that prttof. {to Tuixih:) Tri.xie, 1 havn an iilea. 
 
 'I'rix. What is it? 
 
 J-ii'Ic. Are you willing to do something to help Alice? 
 
 Trix. You Jusi l»'t I am. 
 
 JiK'k. Trixie. I know you are no coward, but you will need all 
 your wits to do what I am going to ask you to do. 
 
 Trix. Fire away. I'm your cookool 
 
 Jiick. Alice i.s now in yontler house — the one painted reil. Go to 
 the l)aclv do(M- and you will find her. She is alone. Tell her not to 
 leave the house under anv circutnstances. Then have herdrt-ssyou 
 in her clothes so as to make you look as much like her as possible. 
 It will be dark when Mauneriiig comes to meet Alice. He will meet 
 U)U instead. I will be neart)y to he;ir every word he says. I miist 
 learn his reason for persecuting Alice. I will see you at the house 
 and tell you wliat to say to him. Are you afraid, Trixie? 
 
 Trix. Course I'm not afraid. Ge-e- but it's great fun being a 
 detective. I'm ofl. Mr. Tramp. Ta.la! 
 
 (Tkixip: goes to t,. and stop/t n/>,tr Jioiise. 
 
 Jack, (aside) T.iicky Trixie overlieard those fellows or they miuhi 
 have taken me by surprise. Now to give Mr. RichartI Mannering 
 
^j^ A PA IE OF CO UNTR Y KIDS. 
 
 tlie greatest sell of liis life. If Ti-ixie can just cari-y liei" end tiivoiigh 
 all will be well, and I will know for certain whether Alice is the lost 
 heir or not. But what is that girl about, {looking atTvaw}^ Trixie, 
 *vome here a minute. 
 
 TiaxiK comes back to Jack— Hi peeps over the loharf and seen her 
 
 Jack. Say, Trixie, your a trump, and I'm so thankful to you that 
 I had to call you back and give you a big hug. 
 
 Jack hugs Tkixie — Hi -sees him and theu drops back out of sight shoiclng 
 signs of jeahni.'dy. 
 
 Trix. Oh Mr Jack, you shouUI n't do that. 
 
 Jack. Shouldn't I? Well then I'll do it any way. But I must lea,ve 
 you now. Don't forget all I have toUl you and you had belter not 
 waste too much time. Tell Alice I will be there in a little bit. 
 
 Tri.v. I'll tell her. 
 
 Jack, {goes to r.) And look out for Mannering. 
 
 Trix. Oh but I ain't afraid of Bad Manners {e.Tcit Jack u. 1 — 
 aside) Ge-e-e what a nice fello v he is. I'll bet Alice likes him 
 great. I just knovv he ain't a tritmp at all. (Hi craiols up ocer wharf 
 and pauses T\iVK.iK, sits down on box without noticing her) Hello Hi! 
 Have your sleep? 
 
 Hi. No I didn't! 
 
 Trix. Why didn't you Hi? 
 
 Hi. None of your business. 
 
 Trix. What's the matter with you, Hi? 
 
 Hi. Nothiu' 
 
 2'rix. Yes there is. Hi. 
 
 Hi. There ain't, nuther! 
 
 'Trix. 1 haven't done anything to make you mad, have I, Hi? 
 
 Hi. Maybe you ain't and maybe you have. 
 
 Trix. {sits on box beside Hi) Hi, please don't get m:id at me. 
 
 Hi. AVill if I want to. 
 
 'Trix. Then Hi Haskins, you can just stay mad, I don't care. 
 
 Hi. Maybe 1 will. 
 
 Trix. 1 don't like you one bit any more. 
 
 Hi. Don't care if you don't. 
 
 Trix. An-an-and I won't marry you when I get old enough. 
 
 Hi. Wouldn't have you, Miss Smartie. 
 
 'Trix. Cause you couldn't get me, and you are nothin' but a mean 
 foolish hfiyseed, so you are. 
 
 Hi. Well i ain't no poorhouse waif, so I ain't. 
 
 Trix. {.starts to cry) I— I —can't help tliat and you shouldn't say 
 such things to me y-v-yo-yon are real niean. 
 
 Hi. You called me liayseed. 
 
 Trix. IMi-th-l hat's not ;is bad as poorhouse waif. {cri/ing) 
 
 Hi. Oh ain't it now? Well, I'm mad at you for keeps. 
 
 Trix. T— 1— I — am sorry I made you mad, Hi. Won't you get 
 pleased with me? 
 
 Hi. No. 
 
 Trix. {edging closer) Please do Hi. 
 
 Hi. I won't. 
 
 2'rix. Hi, won't you kiss and make up? 
 
 Hi. No I won't. H you want a kiss you better go and ask .lar^k 
 Sharp for it. 
 
A PAIR OF COUNTRY KIDS - So 
 
 Ti'ix. (from learn to amile) Oh Hi, I doirt care nolhiii' for him — 
 noL that \\ ay, aiiyliow. 
 
 Hi. Oh clun'l vou though. Then what do you let him hug you 
 for? 
 
 Trix. Oh Hi, did you see liim do it? 
 
 Hi. Course I did. Vou ihougiil you were awful sly, but I saw 
 you. 
 
 TrLr. Hi, he didn't mean aiiylliing. He hugged me because he 
 was si> glad about wliat 1 lold him about Alice. 
 
 Hi. (smiliii(/j And v<»u cb.n'i Mice liiin more than you do me? 
 
 Trix. Course 1 don'"t not half as much. Why Hi, he is Alice's 
 beaux, I 'spect. 
 
 Hi. Gosh! What a big fool I was! 
 
 Trix. Course you was, Hi. 
 
 Hi. Tri.vie-^ 
 
 Trix. Yes. Hi. 
 
 Hi. Can I have the kiss? 
 
 Trix. What Uiss'? 
 
 Hi. The one you said I mii:ht have if I wouldn't be mad. 
 
 2'rix. Vou ilon't ought lo ha\e il. ' 
 
 Hi. I ain't mad, Trixie. 
 
 Tri. Well you must catcli me or you can't have it. 
 
 Hi. Gosh:" 1 Uin (]»» thai alright.' ('Vhixik i^tarts lo run. Hi uflcr 
 her —\\\ chdseg Jier ahoiit. uit^^etliiui Ihirrds ,ind horea — romrdy adltb f'uUn 
 and eti\ — 'Vn\\\\: fiiinlli/ d,i.s/utif lftr<>ui//i d.><>r \.. 1 Hi <ifler her irtio (jft.t 
 tttiKjhd in nipt' fd.'^teiu'd to boxiK and buudlf:* ovtr tilt' dooncny and puUs 
 litem down upon /li.s liead lie J'alU Jlat) Never toucheil me! 
 
 Knltr, EzuA I.. K.. remains al door. 
 
 Ezrv. Well. I'll loucii you, you young sUallawagI What does al! 
 this mean ? 
 
 Hi. 1 was Irving t(» catch Tri.xie. 
 
 Ezra. What for'.' 
 
 ///. She sail! tiiaf if I could catch her I could have a kis.<». 
 
 Ezra. A Uiss. eli? Well I'll give you a kick! Take that! 
 
 (Ezu.\ kicLt Hi a-t lie rines and sends him Ihrouyk i,. d. on a run 
 
 Hi. Ne\ er toucheil me. 
 
 Kzra. Well I don't know what In larnal natii>n I he goin' to do 
 with that boy. Hebe geilin' w uss and wuss. Now what in the 
 name of eommon sense be he doin' here in l^)Sting. 1 left jiini back 
 on the fiuin to do up the chore.s. I'll just go after him and see. 
 {slart.^ forirard, and looka off u. 2 K.) Hello, here comes that other 
 critter. I'll just see wliat he has to tell m«. 
 
 Enltr, .Iack r. '3 k. 
 
 Jitck. Hello Squire. 1 see you are here ahead of time. 
 
 Kzrii. Yes. I be here, voun;: fellow anil I want to know what you 
 have to tell nil'. 
 
 ,lark. Well, Sfpiire Simpson. \<)U must first kn(»w thai I am no 
 more a t r:i m p I han you are. 
 
26 A PA III F CO UNTR Y KIDS 
 
 Ezra. Well what, be yon llioii ? 
 
 Jdck. I am simply in disgnise. Squire, I'm in the employ of 
 Gregory, the lawyer and I'm doing a bit of detective worf? for liim. 
 I will tell you the story. Mr. Gregory had a client, a very wealthy 
 man, by tlje name of Guy IMannering. 
 
 Kzra. Guy Mannering, diil you say"' {■surprised) Wliy that's tiie 
 name of the fellow that married my poor sister Annie, and left lier 
 witii her two children to starve. What do you know abi)ut him? 
 
 Jack. Only that he died, leaving a lot of money for his children, 
 should they be found. 
 
 tJzra. But his children be dead — burned to death years ago. 
 
 Jack. There is wliere 1 think' you are wrong. I am sure I have 
 found one of them — but you must help me gaiher the missing links 
 and establisli the proof. 
 
 Ezra. Hut I know the children are dead, so you may as well give 
 up your search. They be my own sisters children, and she t(,)ld me 
 about their terrible death before she ilied. It was the shock that 
 killed her. 
 
 Jack. If that be really true, then my hopes are crushed, but I 
 felt certain that your adopted daughter was no other Ihati Guy 
 Mannering's eldest child. 
 
 hhra. Well you needn't build any more hopes on that, young 
 fellow. 
 
 J>ick. 1 fear not, yet I shall watch Dick Man nering, and«learn 
 his game, l^ut tell me, Squire, do you 1 *.ow anything aboiit the 
 })a,r<'nt.s of your adopted daughter? 
 
 Ezra. Nothing at all, sir. 
 
 Jack. That factstrengthens my theory. And Co you not suspect 
 why Mannering is persecuting the girl? 
 
 Ezra. I ca.n't t^ven guess. 
 
 Jack. Well, I'm going to find out, and when I do get the truth, 
 you can count on it. Squire Simpson, that I will have some startling 
 iniormation for you. 
 
 Ezra. 1 fear you are building them air castles, young fellow 
 
 Jack. Wait and seel Hut come now and I'll take you to Alice; 
 but I warn you that she feels rather bad and you better beg her par- 
 don for accusing her of taking tliat money. 
 
 Ezra. Indeed, Mister, I'll be glad to do it! and I'll take her 
 back home again and she won't never have cause to leave it. 
 
 Jack. That's the way to talk. Squire! Now you walk right ou 
 and I will follow you. {exit Ezra, i,. e. — Jack tarries a hit.) Well 
 I hardly know wiiat to make out of this. The old man seems so 
 certain that the children, both perished. If that proves to be true, 
 then my clues amount to nothing. Still I have one more chance. 
 Mannering must know the truth. Now to instruct Trixie, aiul then 
 to steal the enemy's secret, and if I am not mistaken, in spite of the 
 old man's assurances that the children are dead, I will yet pro\ e, 
 Alice Simpson to be Guy Mantiering's child, and the niece of the 
 man who has cared for her all these years in ignorance of lier rel.i- 
 tionship to him, {exit i,. b. — lifihts turned doicn 
 
A PA IR OF COUyrilY KIDS 27 
 
 Enter, MANMiUING, K. I- K. 
 
 Dirk. ^Tiist pijrlit o'clock'. It's al)()iil lime tlip ^irl was roniiii/^ if 
 Till: lijis iMii laiKMl nie. Well, (his iii<rlil imist see a lucn in 7ny 
 ta\(ir. Ill lorce llie yirl to inan-y tne. or I'll put an end lu iipi- l\n'- 
 t'Vf-i-. A lew (lays' coiitiiienu'iit in llie old faclnry ;itlic will hriii<i- 
 her to her senses, I guess. IT not — well, in that case I will simply 
 ha\e lo luniish proofs of the girl's death and claim the nion.'v. 
 (liioks ojf'\..) Someone coming. A woman. Got)dl Tlie boys have 
 succeeiled. Now it's up to me. 
 
 Elite'}- Tkixik, I,. E., as A].i(jE,heacily veiled 
 
 Trixie. .lack. 
 
 J)n-k. I'm here, I\I iss Si mpS(»n. 
 
 'J'ii.v. "^'oll are ncti Mr. Sharpe. 
 
 JJick. Xo. I am not .lack Sharpe! I am Richard Maniiering. and 
 I have l)p(Mi wailing here for vnii. 
 
 Tnx. 1 don't want lo see yon. I am going home. 
 
 {Kl'irla to ijit I* 
 
 Dick. {(irnKpiug Tuixik hy the irriint) Not .so (piickly. huiv! I 
 have .so:neihing to say to you. Will yi»u be sensible and listen, or 
 not ■' 
 
 7'rix. I suppose I must listen to you. 
 
 Dn-k. N()W you are sensible, Alice. \V.'|I I have made up my 
 mind to marry you. and I swear ihat you shall not ihwari me iii 
 my «h'termination. Now you might wonder at me wanling lo marrv 
 a nanieh'ss vagab(»nd like you. 1 will It-ll you; in Mif lirsi place, 
 you are not nameless, in faci, you already bear my own honored' 
 name: you are Uuv Miinnering's child, and the olil farmer with 
 whom you lived is your own uncle; Anna Simpson was your 
 nioih.-r. 
 
 '/'/•/./■. IIo-liow do you know this".' 
 
 I>irk. The likeness in ihe lorUrl, that you showed me is of mv 
 brother. Before ycuir fat her's deal h he told me of that locket as "a 
 means of identifying you and not «uily iha', but I haveothrr |)roofs. 
 
 Tri.r. Tlieii if you are my uncle, why are you so cruel to me".' 
 
 Dick. It was your fai hers dying wish that I marry y«Mi; he left, 
 111. • a large sum of moio-y on condition that I search for vou ami 
 when I found you. make \,.u my wif.*. Should you not marry me, 
 we both htose the money. Now be sensible, Alice, and say you will 
 marry me. 
 
 7'/v.r. And if I refuse? 
 
 I)ick. I will force you lo marry me because T do not intpiid to lot 
 thai mon.-y slip ihrough my tiii<:>'rs now that 1 liave found v.mi. 
 
 7'n.c. Vou mean that y(»u will iry to force Alice Simp.son 'o marry 
 you ': 
 
 J)ick. fiirl, what <lo you mean? 
 
 7V/>. Only that now ! know who Alice really isl 
 
 f>ick. And you are not Alice Simpson? 
 
 7'/7>. No. iMtt Alice -only Trixie. [throirs back rail 
 
 Dick. Then you know the secret? 
 
 Trix. H.'t yo'nr lif,. 1 do! 
 
 Dick. Well, you w ill never live to betrav me. ..ji-.: 
 
28 A PAIR OF CO UNTR Y KIDS 
 
 Manneiung grasps Tkixie and drai/s her up the wharf and pusJies htr 
 
 over. 
 
 m 
 
 Enter, Jack, l. e., running to t/ie wharf —^Ixnnekj'SG strugqlei* with hivi, 
 hits him over the head and pushes him to the front off of wharf— ^ ack rises 
 to renew attack upon Mannkking, when Tug enters with two dubs — 
 IMakn EKING and Tug both rusk at Jack icith raised clubs to strik-i 
 him, lohen Eziia enters h. Willi two big horse pistols — covers TuG and 
 
 MaNK EKING. 
 
 Ezra. Time! 
 
 Dick. Who are you? 
 
 Ezra. Squire E/ra Simpson of Simpson's Corners, Massaclnisetts, 
 to Mie rescue, by go.sli ! 
 
 Hi. {rises from rear of wharf with Tuixiii: m his anns.) Never 
 touched me! 
 
 CVRTAIN. 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 SCENE L— Street in Boston, in 1st groode—lamp post with hillboard 
 attached, near u. e. 
 
 Enter, Ezua, i-. e. 
 
 Ezra. Great tomatoes! the excitement of tliis evening has been 
 nigli unto too much for me. And so that young detective fellow 
 was right! Alice is really my poor sister Annie's chiiil. Perhaps 
 tlie otlierone be alive too. And Alice be a, rich gal at that. Maybe 
 lier pot)r dad wasn't so bad after all. Poor chap, he be dead now, 
 and I won't say a word agin the dead. INly but wasn't that fellow 
 Mannering a schemer? Want'ed to marry Alice so as to get all.h.er 
 money. Gosh denied if lie didn't git fooled fer once. Expect that 
 young detective fellow be a pretty smart cluip. And leetle Trixie. 
 Gosh! but didn't she fool him slicker than a whistle? Everything 
 be jest coming out right. I'll take both the sals back to Simpson's 
 Corners, so I will, by gosh! Whoopee! but I will be happy. I'm 
 jest happy enough to play the foi)l awhile. Nobody around so I'll 
 "iest practice up a bit fer thet Literary Society meeting ut Simpson's 
 Corners ne.vt week. {speciaUi/ may be introduced here by EzitA — looks 
 off li.) Gosh: here comes the kid thet told me to crow at three 
 o'clock! 
 
 Enter, Tiiixie, ii. e., as newsboy, calling pnpevs. 
 
 Trix. Papers, extras! All aliout the big strike. Paper, country? 
 
 Ezra. Say, sonny, how diil you know 1 was from the country? 
 
 Trix. The little birds whispered it to me. see? 
 
 Ezra, {looking around) I don't see any birils. 
 
 Trix. Well, they have crowd ami g.uie to roost, see? Want a 
 paper? 
 
 Ezra. No, 1 don't want a paper, see? 
 
 Trix. All about the big strike.- 
 
A PA in F CO UXTIl r Kl i)S £9 
 
 Ezra. What strike '.' I ain't lieard tell of any. 
 
 Tn'x. Why the cook stiucU tlie ilish washer. 
 
 h'zni. Well, swear. 
 
 7Vu'. Well (U)n*t(lo it here, you might get pinched. Say Mister, 
 can yc»ii change a five? 
 
 Fzni. {imttinyhandon icdllel) Xoi by a darned sight. 1 goi bun- 
 coed on one five dollar counterfeit toilay. 
 
 I'nx. Who said anything about five dollars? I meant a nickel, 
 see ■.' 
 
 Kzra. Well I aint no bank, by gosh: 
 
 7'/-2>. Say, Mr. Country, if nice fresh butter is selling at tw eiity 
 cents a pound, wiuit will a ton of coal Come to? 
 
 h'zrn. lilamed if I know. 
 
 '/'/•/>. Ashes, of course. {inKjJiH loud ii/id exit u. k. 
 
 Ezra. If fresh country butter is selling for l\\ eniy cents a )ioiind, 
 •A iiat will a ton of coal come to? Ashes, {liiuyh.f in mocUery of Tiux 
 
 Enter, Jack, u. e., excited. 
 
 Jack. Squire, your just the man I wanted to see! I have bad 
 news f»u- you, Alice has tlisappeareil. 
 
 Ezra. Alice has disappeared ? Where? 
 
 .liK'k. Don't know. She just stepped out of the lu^use to get a 
 drink at the pump. She ilitln't return at once ami we went out to 
 look ft»r her. We were unable to fiuil a trace of her. 
 
 Ezr(t. This must be more of that Mannerinu's work. 
 
 J(trk. Not a bit of iloubt about that, he has had her spirited 
 aw ay. 
 
 hhni. Then, by gosh 1*11 find him and make him lu-iiii; her back, 
 and if lie don't do it, bang-bang goes these toys, {ptiUs ftix/ol.s out of 
 boots) and otT goes his lieatl. Come along, Mr. Detective. 
 
 (exit .).\(K and KzHX I,. E. 
 
 Enter, Tkixik k. E., holdinf/ H['s hand and pidlinf/ him atony — 
 and lookx off I,. • 
 
 Trix. Geel Hi. tliere comes Mr. Bad Manners and liis pal: let's 
 hiile and see what ihey are \\{\ to; quick. Hi, behind this board. 
 
 {hide behind billboard. 
 
 Enter, Dick and Tlg. l. e. 
 
 Dick. You say you got the girl safe enoujrh? 
 
 7'i((/. Sure t'ing. Cap! F]asy as rolling off a loc. We layed about 
 Ihehoiiseand pretty soon she came out to the pump. Chuli and me 
 slipped up behimi her, clapped th« rag to her nose ami she never 
 St ruggleil. 
 
 JJtek. WluMy is she now? 
 
 Tug. Lockeiliii the attic room of the old box factory. The win- 
 dow i.s naileil up wiih Imards and here is the key Lo the dooi. 
 {handit key to Dkki Ain'i likely she is over the chloroform yet. but 
 yoii better see that she is safe. 
 
 Dick. Tug. you iro and iruar«l the place. I'll be there ;ii an hour 
 Do >u)t leave her a lo!ie a moiofnl after she comes to. Tln-re miisL 
 be no bungling this lim.- Til bring a fellow with me who will per- 
 
30 A PA III OF CO UNTR T KIDS 
 
 form the wedding- ceremony, and once she is my wife, I'll defy theru 
 all. Better disguise yi>ur.self in your favorite jew makeup. Now 
 go, and don't let her get away. I'll walk a block witli vq^i. 
 
 {eml, Dick and Tug, Tuixie and Hi step from behind billboard.) 
 
 Trix. Oh gee! they have Alice again. What are we to do? 
 
 Hi. Lick 'em lii<e the devil again! 
 
 Ih-ix. Hut where is Alice now? 
 
 Hi. Why, in the altic of the old box bactory, that fellow said. 
 
 IVix. But how can we get to her? I have it, we will find the 
 detective fellow. He will be sure to get her. 
 
 Hi. Never thought of him. 
 
 Trix. Come on quick, Hi! Now to find Mr. Jack and tell him 
 what we lieard. 
 
 Hi. And we will buncoe them, we will, by gosh! 
 
 CURTAIL 
 
 SCENE II — Attic in the old box f<(clovi/ —kitchen or den scene — r, and i.. 
 entrances — rear door and wiudtxc— window boarded up — barrels and 
 boxes scattered about— two or three old stools or broken chairs — rough 
 table in center — A.\..\CKdiscocered lying upon pile of straw in l. corner 
 
 Enter Dick c. d., walks over to where Amce lies and looks at her 
 in silence a inomtnt. 
 
 Dick, {laughs) Ha, ha, ha! caged at last my pretty little wild 
 bird. Well, I'll. see that you don't get away this time. We'll have a 
 mock wedding liere in w. few minutes and you won't know that it 
 isn't genuine, but it will serve my purpose just as well. I'll get the 
 papers all properly made out, jiiul Tug will be the reverend minis- 
 ter — it's a good joke. { A i.iCK moves slighfli/) Oh, ho! you are com- 
 ing to, are you ? Well, it's time, (pauses) Now to cheer you up a bit. 
 
 Alice, {sitsup slou^ly and looks around in beicildevment) Where am I? 
 
 Dick. Oh, you're with a good frieiul, alright enough. 
 
 Alice, {startled) You here. IMr. IMannering? » h yes, I remember 
 now, 1 went out to get a. drinl; of water, someone came upon me 
 fron» behind— 1 couldn't call for help— I must have fainted. It was 
 you who brought me here. Why am 1 in this place? 
 
 Dick. Well, you are partly right; I didn't bring you here, but a 
 friend of mine diil. 1 t's just the same. 
 
 Alice, {rises) But I must go home now. Won't you take me 
 home? 
 
 Dick. Well,! hardly think I will —at least, not just now. 
 
 Alice. Then I siuill'go al.Hie-. 
 
 Dick. I ilon'll tliink you will do that, either. 
 
 Alice. What tlo you ineaii? Yon .spea.k so Strangely. 
 
 Dick. Ididii'igoto the iroiibU' lo iiave you brouglit here to allow 
 you to go aw ay, so. soon. ... • 
 
 Alice. You had me brouglil here? 
 
 Dick. Certainly 
 
 Alice. What fo'r? 
 
 Dick. 
 
 A lice 
 
 Dick, lam sure you will 
 
 Alice. I will die lirst. 
 
 What for? 
 
 Well what, innocence? To make you my wife, of coui 
 I shall never marry 3'ou! 
 
.-1 PA Hi F ( '0 1 '.V TPi ) ' K! /> S SI 
 
 Pick, y.m li;i\'o no clioict' in tlip nrilU'r. I swore to inakf you my 
 \\'\U\ :in(l I'm uoino; lo Uef[) my oalli. 
 
 Alii-f. No minisiei- uonUI bind me lo yon jiti.iinsl my wislM'S. 
 
 picl,-. I )()n'l bnild ;uiy hopes on lliiil. i iviiowoiic \vl;o\vil! m:il<e 
 you .M fs. M:innering all solid enough; in Cad, he is on iiis wuy here 
 now. 
 
 Alice. I don't believe you. 
 
 J)irl>-. 1 don't care wlielher you will believe me or not: \u\\ will 
 soon st'f for yourself. 
 
 Aliiu\ You are a contem |)lable coward, sir! 
 
 Dick. Call me wliat you like, names are unmalerial lo me. 
 
 Alice. My uncle shall make you suffer for xonr insults lo me. 
 
 Die!.-. Oh, hoi soyouUnow who you are, do you? 'The olher lillle 
 bral lolil you all she new, did site? Well, your worlhy uncle 
 shall have a new ne|>he\\ as well as a niece. 
 
 Alice. If you don't allow me lo <;(» from Ihmv I shall cry for help. 
 
 Dick. Oh dear nie, ilo so by all means; I assure you it will avail 
 yon nothiii<^. 
 
 Alice. Oh, whv does God allow such inhuman monsters as vou to 
 live-.' 
 
 Dick. Because the devil is not rendy to claim his own, I yuess. 
 {fodfyfep.s/irtiril) Butlislen! I hear someone on I he steps in»w. Tiie 
 minister must l)e comin-,'; now be sensible my deur, and ail will be 
 well eiiouurh. ^'ou cannot escape. I swear it. 
 
 Alire. I pray 'lod to tieliver me from tlie toils of such a s.-rpent 
 us you. 
 
 Dick. Your pr;iyers are useless. (/•■//> /le.ird on v. D.) Coiue in. 
 
 Muter Jack, c. d., dintjii/sed «.i a minisler. 
 
 Ah. your reverence, we liave been waitiiii^ for you, ami as our time 
 is limii.Ml. you hail belter proceed at once. 
 
 Jiiik. Is llie hiily in r»'adiiiess? 
 
 Alice, {ntnitiny to J. \Lii ami k/ietliiig at /ii.t feet) Oh sir. save me 
 fr..m- 
 
 Pirk. (f/raspiii f/ Ai.lCK by (lie nnn and pulling her ro'iijUlij itidiy) 
 Your reverence, the lady is ready. 
 
 (Dick hoUlt .\i,i<-k to ///.% .xide ichHe nn'ni.^ler tnkes p>'.<<ifio)i. 
 
 Jack. Richard M-inneriiiL;, iloyou take this lady for your lawfully 
 we«lde«l wife? 
 
 J>ick. 1 do. 
 
 Jock. Alice Simpson, ilo vou lake the man for your lawfiillv 
 wedded hiisban.i? 
 
 -l//(v. No! no' A thoiisinid limes, no! 
 
 Jack. Then yiui needn't mair\' hiifl. 
 
 Dick. Tiii;. whiil does this me;i:i? 
 
 .lack. It means that ayain you iiave overstepped your bounds — it 
 nie.-Mis ili:it a;j;aiii you have been checkmated! 
 
 Dick. 'I'iien you a r^- not 'I'ui; Smith' 
 
 Jack. No. \.oV Tut; Smith, but Jack Sharpe, at your ser\ ice! 
 
82 A PAIR OF CO UNTR Y KIDS 
 
 ^kc^ removes wig and icJi/skers and covers Dick with revolver— Ahic^ 
 fliiifjs herseh' into Jack's /We arm—^ \ck and A.\.\ce. back toteard 
 t/ie door, keepincj Dick covered. 
 
 E/i(er. Tvo, c. Tf., and steps beJii/id Jack. 
 
 Dieh. Well, you Imve tlie best of me tliis time, I admit, but my 
 time will come, and Llieu — {'Vug close be/u/ul Jack) Quick Tug! nail 
 him! 
 
 Tug strikes Jack over the head and stage/ n's him, then quickly gra^ips him 
 about the arms andpimous him —Jack drops hi.s revolver — \ )ick grabs 
 AiJCK a/ui pulls her aicay, then runs to Ih" door and fastens it — 
 A\.\c\f. picks up ^XQ\C^ revolver unseen by Dick— Tug binds Jack 
 — Dick goes toward Aiace.. 
 
 Jack, (dazed) Kill him if he comes near you, Alice! 
 
 Alice, {as Dick approaches her) Stand back or I'll fii-e! 
 
 {covers Dick with revolver. 
 
 Dick, (stopping short) Quick Tnof, grab lier! {A\.ick is taken off 
 her guard and turns, expecting to see '^UG — Dick rushes toward her, but 
 AiJCK lur/is quickly and fires point blank at Dick — bullet strikes Dick in 
 the arm — Tug grabs Aiiica — Jack being bound.) Curse you, you little 
 luissy! Tluit act will cost you botli your lives; yes, I'll settle with 
 you both now and for good. Here, Tug, bring lier to this table; I 
 will get the fellow, we will bind them together on this table, (Ai.ick 
 (Did Jack are forced upon the table in a sitting posture, back to back and 
 bound together — their feet are bound together under the table.) Now, 
 ■ Tug, get that box of dytiamite in the oilier room and we will put it 
 under tlie table and blow them botli up with this old mill, (cvit 
 Tug, u. k. — Dick laughs) Ha, ha, ha! Now you see who liolds the 
 winning liand. When you think you can outwit Richard Mannering, 
 you make a sad mistake. 
 
 Enter, Tug, l. e., quickly loith dynamite. 
 
 Got it, Tug? 
 
 Tug. Sure. 
 
 Dick. Put- it under the table there and light the fuse. (TuG UgUis 
 tliefuse) Now Tug, go into the other room and fire the building; we 
 will make double sure of our game this time. (TuG exit \.. e. to set fire 
 to the house— remains outside while DicK speaks to Atjce and Jack— 
 xmoke and fire enters room.) Now, curse you both, you will soon be 
 out of my way for ever; all your money will go to me, Alice Man- 
 nering, your father left you a.nd your brat of a sister a half million, 
 but I will get ii al!; (laughs) { shall enjoy myself; but before I 
 
 w 
 
 erv 
 
 go, let me tell you one thing, your sister still lives, in fact you kno 
 her well; the little brat who i ini)ersona ted you at the wliarf this very 
 night was your sister. She has a. locket like yours, but I li;i\e olhei 
 proofs. Next I shall get her oiitof my way and then noone will stand 
 between me and your father's money; it shall be all mine, fxery dol- 
 lar of it. I tell you this, l)ecause in three minutes j'ou will both be 
 dead and out of my way forever. 
 
A PA Hi OF rOVXTI! V KIDS S3 
 
 halter, 'i\ a. i,. K. 
 
 Come oil TiiLT. locU the tio.T :is w <* <;«> out. (LiUfj/is) Ha. Iia, lia! 
 How c«nnl'.MM:il)lf von I wo m iisL feel How! Wliy don't you try to con- 
 sole each other? \holli ijolov. D.) Bni I ninsLbid yon «;i)i)d-bye; I wish 
 yon b«»lh a s.ile journey. {cAWUliGand UiCKC. D.,fu.^leniiif/ it. 
 
 Jnck. (dfler tiHjiiing <it ropes and trying to moVi' from table) Alice, 
 it is useless— we are dooiued— we liave but a minute left oneiirlh. I 
 will I el I yon what I would not luive toM you vet liad we.been spiired. 
 Alice, I have learned to love yon; tell nie dear, that you mi»,'ht liave 
 relumed my love in lime; I can then die e:isier. 
 
 Alice. .IjicU, you have done so much for me, how could 1 keep my 
 heart from g:t)iii«; «>ut to you. Y«'S. Jaclv. I love you. 
 
 Jack. lam happy even on the brink of death. God bless you, little 
 gir), for those words. We shall soon be united never to part — yes, 
 united in Heaven by— but hush! {listeiia) What is that? 
 
 Rope utri/ce.i ayaiimt boards on window— .^ound of someone climbing vp — 
 bonnh knocked fi'uni ic/tdow with an axe. 
 
 Kilter, Hi. tlironyli tfie icindnw fnmi rope. ■ 
 
 Jack. Quick Hil For Heaven sake taue tlie dynamite from muler 
 the table and throw it from (lie window! 
 
 Hi grnhs tite dynamite from under the table ant throws it from the wimfow 
 — er/ilonion follirws -'Vuixih: hifiif/fn;/ to rope appears at window at 
 ynoineiit <f exptimion —xiiinkr and ft-nnet from I,. K. — lil ciitit rope from 
 Al.K K "'/(/. I Ack — lath and platteifuiltiiy fnjiu abucej'i oiii shock of ex- 
 plosion hits \\\ and knocks hiiu dinon. 
 
 Hi. {sitting lip) Never tourhed me? 
 
 CUin'AlJ!f 
 
 ACT IV. 
 
 SCEKR! — S'tme as act t -^I^a \^u.k d>srni'ered at table mixing dough — 
 1'>.UA st,ited luur the tablt in a snlky niii,>d. 
 
 Melinda. Lawsiikes. Ezr;i. but 1 wish it be my wediling that I be 
 preparinjr ftu-. 
 
 Kzra. Huh! Who would marry you ? 
 
 Melinda. Maybe you think 1 iiin't ijood enoufrh to f^^et married. 
 
 Kzra. 'Spect you're groo«l eno»ii;li to j^et married, .Melinda. 
 
 Melinda. Well, Deacon Jones be coming 'round liere uncommon 
 often lately. 
 
 Kzra. Pshaw! Melinda. you wouldn't marry him. Why they say 
 as lu)w he starved his tirst wife to death. 
 
 Melinda. Then there be Zeb, Bowers, they say as how he owns 
 twenty-five head of cattle, a dozen horses and fifty sheep, aiul a cou- 
 ple hundred chickens. 
 
 Kzra. tJreat tomatoes! Melinda. you would kill yourself p:iilin2^ 
 theco\«aiul feeding the sheep and chickens— besiiles there be a biy^ 
 
S4 A PA IR OF CO UN TR Y KID 3 
 
 mortgage on liis farm. 
 
 Meliuda. Then there be preacher Smilhers, he has beea making 
 slieep's eyes at me of hite. 
 
 Ezra. Great Ijornetl loads! Melinda, 30n surely wouldn't tliink 
 of marrying parson Sinithers. Why he don't get enough nn)ney to 
 keel) a, wife on. The folks never pay him any money, tiiey just giv<s 
 him potatoes, Hour and clothes and stuff Mice tliat, and you wouldn't 
 Stand for tiuit. 
 
 Meliuda. Then law sakes, Ezra, who be I going to marry? 
 
 Ezni. Say, Meliuda, be you really wanting to get married? 
 
 ]\[eiiiidii. Law sakes now, Ezra, you ought to know I don't want 
 to die an old maid. 
 
 Ezra. Tiien why in tarnal nation don't you marry me? 
 
 jMeUnda. 'Cause you iit-ser asked me 
 
 hkra. Git out! now Meliuda, didn't I honestly? 
 
 Meiinda. Course you didn't 
 
 tCzra. \\[k'\\, Meliuda., will you marry me? 
 
 Meliuda. {drop.'< iulo chair) Law sakes, Ezra, tills be so sudden! 
 
 hJzra. Sudden! Why 1 thought as how you have been expecting it 
 for tiie last ten years. Hut be you willing to marry me or liot, Me- 
 liuda? 
 
 Meliuda.. Let me see; Mrs. Squire Ezra Simpson. I like the name 
 and all it carries with it. {clasp.'i ker hauds i/i air) Good-bye, ilear 
 maidenhood, good-bye forever, {i.o Ezka) Yes, E/ra, I'll be your 
 dear little tootsy-wootsy wifie, aiul hereafter I shall look for protect- 
 ion in tlie slielter of your strong arms. 
 
 Ezra. Meiinda, come into camp! 
 
 EzuA and Mkmnda. 6//iJ>/'ac^— Mwmnd.v's hauds covered with flour leave 
 haud prints on Ezka's back — Hi appears in door. 
 
 Hi. Never touched him! 
 
 Meiinda. Oh, Ezra! {trying to pull away. 
 
 Enter, Hi, l. c. d. 
 
 Hi. Squire Simpson's huggin' aunt Meiinda! (laughs — A[i«(,tno\ 
 breaks away from EzitA and runs from tlie room—^T.\i\ graOi up cUnuk 
 of dough and throws it at Hi, knocking hint dowu—gets up quickly.) 
 Never touched me! Say, Squire, be you going to marry aunt Me- 
 iinda? 
 
 Ezra. That ain't none of your business. Hi Haskins. 
 
 Hi. She's been waiting on you a long time, Squire. 
 
 Ezra. Hi, you shut up. 
 
 Hi. Say, Squire, ain't Alice and that Jack Sharpe fellow married 
 now? 
 
 Ezra. Of course they be. 
 
 Hi. And you and aunt Meiinda be going to get married, ain't 
 you? 
 
 Ezra. Maybe. 
 
 Hi. Squire, 1 wish I could get married to. 
 
 Ezra. Well, who would marry you, Hi? 
 
 Hi. Same parson that married Alice. 
 
 Ezra. 1 mean what woman? • 
 
 Hi. Don't want no woman, I want a man to marry me. 
 
A PA IR OF CO UNTli Y KIDS 55 
 
 Ezra. Yoii iiliot! I mean what wotnaii would liave you for a 
 husband '.' 
 
 Hi. 'Si)''Cttluit thern be one Lliat would, but I say, Squire, Trixie 
 is coming and .she has soueliiiny iiuporLanL Lo say to yon. 
 
 (crosses tc \.. c. D. and motions t« TuixiB. 
 
 Enter, TiuxiE, L. c. D. 
 
 Hi. Be brave aiul tell him like a man. Trixie. 
 
 ('ruixiK rros.ie.f to EzRA, thiepishly. 
 
 Ezra, {aerinii.tlji) llnml Wliai. do you wanl' 
 
 Trix. (;/of.i to Hi.) Yt)-y»> you tell him. Hi. 
 
 Hi. {brareiy) Well you see, Stiuire, I thou-jht-er Trixie thought- 
 er-er we boili thonjjht — 
 
 Ezra. Well, what do you thon.!j:ht? 
 
 Hi. {to'VnwU':.) 'I'ri.xie. you lell him what we lljoufrht. 
 
 7V/X. Wt'll. S(inirt*. yousee I thoii«;hi-»*r Hi-er that is we thought- 
 
 tSzra. \V'*II, what in l.aVnal nation »lid you both thon^ht? 
 
 Tri.v. {to Ml.) Yon t.-ll him, Hi. 
 
 ///. (^/ Tkixik.) Yon l»dl him. Trixin, I'm afraid. 
 
 '/'ri.r. (A; Hi.) Coward, cowartl! i''raulie calf! 
 
 I/t. I'm nolafraiti, neither; just you watch ttie. (steps boldly up 
 to Kzka) Sipiirc! 
 
 Ezrv. (</rtiJf'/y) Well! 
 
 J/i. (si'iired ^Ifjf.t biir/c) Oh, Lordie! 
 
 7'ri.r. Fraidy calf! fraidy calf! 
 
 Hi. 1 tohlyou I wasn't afraid, (ledlcn up boldly to Ezua.) Squire, 
 Tri.vie wants to marry nie and .she wants to know if you will let 
 h e r ? 
 
 Trix. (goes to P]zka.) Yes, Squire, Hi wants to marry iiu' and he 
 wjinlsto IviMtwif \i>u will let him? 
 
 Ezr<i. Hum! This is a rather s»Mions matter. (t<ikt;s c/idir) (Jhil- 
 dr»'n, 111'* court has now cunveuecf and the jutlj^^e is on the bfiich 
 ready to IisI.mi to th»* evidence, pro and Ci)u; you kids want to get 
 married, eh".' 
 
 Hi. Yep! 
 
 7'rix. C'ourse we do. 
 
 Ezra. Let me see: Hi, you are twenty, and Trixie, you are fif- 
 teen. Won't do, Tri.vie, you are too young. 
 
 Hi. Hut we can wail four or five years, S«juire. 
 
 2'rix. Course w«' can. Squire. 
 
 Ezra. Then, again. Hi has no inoiif»y to keep a wif«* on. 
 
 Hi. Oh that's alright. Squire, Trixie has lots of mon.*y now, and 
 she can keep hersflf and me to. 
 
 7V/.r. ( \nirse I can. 
 
 Ezni. Such an arrangement will never do, but I won't tlirow any 
 sticks in ymi kill's way: in abi)nt five years, if Hi works right good 
 and sav»'.s his money and you both don't find some»nie as you liix»* 
 better than y.ni .1.. each other, and you still want to, then maybe 
 you can get marrif-ti. 
 
 ///. \\V1I ihalsall I wauled to know. Come on. Trixie, we are 
 engaged now. (f.i-it 'I'uimk nnd Hi, arm in tiiiii i,. (. i>. 
 
 Ezni. (sLippin;/ /h.'< /.u/'eM and Inif/hiiig.) Wflll swear! .M.irrying 
 must be in the air. W^-ll I'm loo happy now lo pui c<>ld wnter on 
 
36 A PA in OF CO UNTR Y KIDS 
 
 them cliil'-lreirs happiness I be, by gosh! 
 
 Enter, Memnda, k. v..— lo^ks nboat cautiomly before enUr^ng. 
 
 MrUiida. Did lie see us, Ezra? 
 
 Ezi'd. See ns, course he did. And say, Meliiida, what do you 
 think them kicis want? 
 
 MeUiida. Can't even gness. 
 
 Kzva. They want to ♦,^et married. 
 
 Mdinda. Law sake, now Ezra, how foolish. 
 
 Eira. [ noticed tliat Hi was sprucin' up lately and washin' his 
 neck and ears without being- told, aiul do you kno v them Lwo be 
 just lilce a pair of kittens. 
 
 MeUnd'i. How simple some folks can be when tiiey get in love. 
 We couldn't be like that now ci)uld we, Ezra? 
 
 Kzrti. Ni)W you get out, MflliKJa. 
 
 Meiiada. Law sakes, now Ezr;i.! 
 
 Kzru. Say Melinda, just thought of sofViething I wanted fo tell 
 you about. 
 
 ^i.s.'iii^y^Kii^G, appears at windoio dirt (^ a/id ragged —listens unseen by Ezka. 
 
 a/itZ Mlfi[,INDA. 
 
 Meljada. What be it Ezra"' 
 
 Kzr.t: Well, the money I g)t from the hank today to p:i.y off that 
 old mortg;ige be in the old coffee pot in tlie cupboard; 'spect ;i,s how 
 it would be safer for you to put it in the old valice ami put il in the 
 trunk up in Alice's room. You Iviiow there will be :i, lot of folks liere 
 toniglit and you never can tell just what will liappen. 
 
 Mdiiidii. Ypu cairt be too careful and that's certain. I'll just get 
 the valice right off. 
 
 Zi^.tfY Mii LINDA li. E. — D[CK d')dge.<i^t)el)io wiiid<>w —Ez]{\ gets the coffee 
 pot from the cupboard and returns to table. 
 
 Ezra. It's the same old coffee pot as lias held a heap of money, 
 and the last money it helil pretty near wrecked our liome. Poor 
 Alice, I did wrong to doubt her, but I expect she lie liappy now and 
 if it, ha.dn't been for sending her away slie might never have met 
 Ihatyoung detective chap. Jack be a pretty smart chap ami I expect 
 he will make Alice a good husband. I know slie thinks a powerful 
 sight of him too. 
 
 Enter, ^Iedinda l. e., tcith valice. 
 
 Get the valice, Melinda? (Dick appears at winlotc again. 
 
 Meliitda. Here it be, Ezra, 
 
 Eirti. ipnta money in. valice.) Now you just hide il up in the oil 
 trunk and it will be safe enough. 
 
 Melinda. Course it will. 
 
 B.C'.t, Mkmnoa, l. k., loitk vidice— Dick disappears —sound of horses 
 outside— KziiK goes to door. 
 
 Ezra. And I must go out and see that the old l)riiidie cow and iier 
 calf b«' well careil for. Alice and Jack will soon be here now. llow 
 
A PA in OF CO US TR V KIDS S 7 
 
 happy llie clf^arcliildrcn imist be, and 1 'in just as liappy goinn; to marry 
 ^lelinda. WlM)(»[)t.'p! lilame my old picuuvs, I h^ acling jnsL like a 
 kid with a bfand new pair ofsUaLes. Hnrrah! {V/lmk utiirtxfov c. D. 
 
 Eater, Tuixiic and Hi, r,. c. e., wilh cafnera—Hi'^ftce dirty. 
 
 Ezra. Wiiat be tlie ti-onble, children? 
 
 ///. Ain't no trouble at all; I was just trying to take Tiixie's 
 picture and lier face busied the camera, that's alf. 
 
 7'ri.v. IJnhl «;ues.s it was your own face that busted it. 
 
 Ezra. Well, from the looks of Hi, I tliink the machine bnsird 
 his face. {MUiid. of hor.se'.s hoofs.) Listen, cliiUlren, there be .lacl< 
 and Alice coming home at hist, {stepit to door.) Yes, it tio be them; 
 yon. Hi, iio and wash your face, and you, Tri.xie, come wilh me. 
 'Spect we better go and welcome I hem back. 
 
 (exit Hi, u. k., Tuixie and Ezua, c. d. 
 
 Enter DicK, C. D. 
 
 Dick. This is a risky bit of business for me, but I miist have 
 nK.iiey. So y()u put the money in the little valice and hitl it in the 
 irnnk in .Mice's b»*droom, diil you? I'm giMtinf^ tired of being 
 huiiteil d.iwn like an animal ami this money will yet me out of the 
 country. Kverylhini; hasgone ajrainst me. l phiyed a bold «,'ame and 
 lost. So tlie happy l)ride is ret urning —well, I nev^r \\;i.ntcd the uirl, 
 'twas i.lu' money I wanteil. I'd like lo settle accounts wilh that ac- 
 CiMs.'d Jack Sliar|)e l)elore I ^'o, an<l I owe that blubherinij idiot of 
 a Hi llaslvins one also, (sound of roicen.) Hehohl, ihe bride and 
 <;rt)om cttme. I will hide in the girl's room until I get Iho money and 
 have a chance to get away. {e.\:it Dick, i.. ifi. 
 
 Enter KZKA, Tkixik, .1.\ck and Amce c. E., all talkiiKj and lauyhiiiy. 
 
 Ezra. Welcom*' home, children, welconu; home! McliiKJa is pre- 
 paring foV tlie reception, as you call il. Some of lh«' neiglil)ors will 
 be in, and we will liave s»une singing and dancing and the like. 
 
 Alire. Oh daddy, liowglad I atu to get back to the dear old home, 
 and you are so go«»d to go lo all this Iroulde for us. 
 
 Kzrii. No trouble at all. and 1 «'.\p.-ct you aint no gladder to g.^, 
 l)ack llian we br to havr you back: and I say Jack, my boy, how ilo 
 yoii lilvc married life by this time? 
 
 Jdclc. J ust fine; Alice is the dearest little wife that ever lived. 
 
 ipntting hi.s arm dbotit Ai,ici<:. 
 
 Enter. Hi. K., hnnrjincj buck and not seen by the others. 
 
 7V/.r. (hityi/iiif/ .Ai,Ri<:.) Oh sis. but I am glad to see you bark. 
 Alir/'. D.'ar little sister, and lo think you really are my sister. 
 7V/.r. Oh we're sisters alright enough. 
 
 Ain-f. Ami how 1 have mis^jed you while we have been awav. 
 Tri.v. Expect I've missed you to— but 1 say {to Jack.) .lack, 
 old l)r(»llier, aint yt)u going to give your sister a Iciss? 
 Jack. To l)e sure. 
 
 (Jack ki.sfc.s Tkixik -Hi looks d-fgr/er.<i at him and fidgets about. 
 7'ri.v. Say. Jack, if sis don't care you can ilo it agaiii. 
 
 ^\v\i (J06S to kiss TiiixiE agaio. whpu Hi steps beticeen them and pu'.'it 
 Tkix. a too I/. 
 
58 A PAIR F CO UNTR Y KIDS 
 
 III. Expect one be about a plenty. 
 
 TiLv. Guess you needn't care, a girl has a vight to have someonb 
 to kiss, anil iTyou'i-e ioo bashful to do it you needn't lifind Jack, 
 anyway he's my brother now. 
 
 Jack. {Lauyks) Ha, ha, ha! Hi is jealous. 
 
 {Alt latigh and gay Hi, ^Dl^o tcalkn proudli/ about the room. 
 
 Trix. But I say. Daddy, liere is a letter I just louml out under 
 the window; you better read it. {hands letter to Ezka. 
 
 Ezra, {ha ndi/ig letter to Jack.) You read it, Jack. 
 
 Jack, {unfolding letter) Why tiiis letter belongs to Richard Man- 
 nering. How came you by it, Trixie? 
 
 2'nx. Found it right under the window. 
 
 .Ezra. Read it. Jack. 
 
 Jack, {reads) Mr. Richard INlannering, Dear Sir:— Your letter of 
 inquil-y regarding your brother's children, received. The children 
 were removed Irom ISl. Mary's Orphan Asylum to the county poor- 
 ]iouse two nights before the asylum burneil. The transft^r was niaile 
 owing to some irregularity in the admission of tiie chiklrfii to tiie 
 ill-fated asylum, "l found the record of the transfer after much 
 trouble, whicii conclusively proves that the children did not perish 
 in the flames. 1 trust this information is satisfactory, Resi)ect- 
 fully yt)urs, Jacob Houston. 
 
 IJ:-ra. \Vell! That settles that point; nothing like having the real 
 proof and nov we have it; lucky for you girls tliat you were ino\ed. 
 
 Jack. I wonder where this letter came from, 
 
 Alice. Perhaps Richard Mannering has been here recently and 
 dropped it. 
 
 Ezra. ^Vell he don't want to let me see him about here or I'll 
 practice up with my olil shot gun. 
 
 Jack. We had belter be on the lookout for him at any rate, he 
 may be up to some of his old tricks; >et it is my opinion that he is 
 ma,ny miles from here. 
 
 Enter Mii!-iNU.\, n.^enibraces Aucio, shakes Jack's Jiand and is about 
 to kiss him when the Sqliirk pulls her back. 
 
 Melinda. Law sakes now children, and have you really come 
 back? I'm so glad to see yon. 
 
 Hi. {.fteppingfo7-ward) Say Alice. 
 
 Alice. Wiiat is it Hi? 
 
 Hi. What do you think? 
 
 Alice. You will have to (ell me. 
 
 Hi. Squire and Aunt Melimla are going to get married. 
 
 Melinda. Law sake, now E/ra, just, listen to liiin. 
 
 Hi. It's a fact Alice, I saw them hugging each >.i her just a bit ago. 
 
 Melinda. Law sake, now Ezra, just you make tliat boy Stop. 
 Trix. And now lets have a dance. 
 Omnes. Dance, dance, gel your partners. 
 All get paired off for a dance — \)icK appears at the door with satchel i?i 
 his hand -III sees him — DiCK viakes e.rit on run, c. o. — Hi nfter him 
 — loud sounds and slaps from outside— dancers stop and look in 
 amazement— enter Hr. with satchel all lorn, clothes torn, face black and 
 dirty —crosses to center. 
 Hi. Never touched me! 
 
 CUR TA TN. 
 
A PA in OF COUNTRY Kins 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF EVE NTS. 
 
 ACT r.— Home of Kzra, Simpson— Meliiida waiting for Ezra to pop 
 — A bit of jfood foiMune— E/.ra. Iacl<s coiirasfe to propose— Trixie, tlie 
 waif from tlie pi)or-lum.se, arrives and interrupts a proposal — "Do [ 
 «,^et a job Squire V" — '•One il)ing is certain, Ezra Simi.son never 
 turned alnniiiery i>erson from liisdoor." — Melinda disyusled — "Wljy 
 didn't tlip Lord Unep liei- in lli»' poor-liouse just a little loniicr?" — 
 llicliard Mannerin;;^ snarcliiny for bis dead brollier's cbildren— The 
 locket — A story and Ricbard's discovery— A proposal of niarriaiie 
 and it's refusal — Jack Sbarpe disijuiseil as a tramp, makes nn enemy 
 — "Sis. a man wbo tbreatens a lady is a coward." — "Wby does 
 liicbard want to marry tins simple country jiirl?" — Susplcittns 
 aroused — Trixie makes tbe accpiaintance of Hi Haskins-Hi looses 
 a part of bis wardrobe— Tbe "Country Kids" lind a cider juy: and 
 imbibe a lillle too freely ol' iis conienls- Ricbard robs Squire Simp- 
 son and plans tbat Alice sball be accused of tbe tbeft— Alice 
 driven from bome. 
 
 ACT II. — Boston — Tu<^ and Cbub. as tonpb as tbey make tbem — ' 
 Planniiii,' tbe abducliou of Alic^e TrLxie disjjuised as a newsboy, 
 searcliiny; for Alice— E/.ra arrives in tbe city and is buncoed by Tug 
 aiidCbub— "I feel certain tbat Alice Simpson is (luy Mannerinir's 
 cbild." — Hisliow.s tbat be is jealous of Jaclv — Manneri ng tbrows 
 Tri.xiefrom wbarf, autl sbe is rescued by Hi — "Never toucbedme." — 
 
 ACT HI. — Boston- Tri.xie plays a joke on Squire Simpson — Alice 
 IS abducted by Ricbard, w bo tries lo force ber to marry bim. but is 
 foiled by .lack, wbo is disguised as a minister — Tbe tigbt, in wbicb 
 Ricbard sets fire to tbe building— Hi to tbe rescue. 
 
 AC'l' IV. — Home of Squire Sim psou -Tl'e Squire finallv proposes 
 to Melinda and is accepted —Hi and Trixie in love, but tbe Squire 
 I binks I bey are too young to l)e married —Ricbard discovers wbere 
 Scpiire Simps«)n bas concealed bis money and plots lo get it — Home- 
 (!(»ming of .lack ami Alice- S(jnire and Hi bolb jealous — "E.vpect 
 one be a plenty"— Tbe letter lost by Ricb:iril Mannering wbicii 
 proves tbat Alice and Tri.xir are tbe tiauublers of (luy Mannering — 
 Ricbard tries to escape fnun bouse wilb I be Squired money but Hi. 
 w lio discoxers bim, rescues tbe satcbel containing ibe money and 
 all ends bappilj' — "Never toucbed me." 
 
 PROPERTIKS. 
 
 ACT!.— Table, red table olotli, oUl fiipltoanl.flre place or stove, rooltbijr chair 
 jiiitl coiunuMt rliair. jnyr. l»fiii-li. I.iu-Uel ol w.iter, tlippt>r, \v«sli basin, an old 
 cofFee pot mill p;ipt-r nioiiev ; i-ii^.M-. ••ane ami lettf i* for D'n-U : lar^e p\irse, loeUet 
 ami I'biiin loi' Ali>e: locU*-! ami i-li.iiii. «lel i piil .■ tr-d vulii-e and piece of lieny 
 pie for'l'rixie; new spjipf r, an t»'d ^^r.iiii n;i,U ami in.irOel.s fur III. 
 
 ACT II. Newspapers for T.ixie; larfje w.illet witli a Ioiil; st'-iiiMr ;ir(niD<l it, 
 eaipel-bag and pistol for Ezr i ; I i>ije and siu ill bjxes, barrel, i-0[>€ and small 
 bundle for doOi"; newspaper for Hi. 
 
 ACT III. Lamp-post with bilibo ird. barrels, botes, two or three o'd broketi 
 chairs, routili t;ible, pile of st r.i u . I».>.v of d \ m;i mite aii.l a,\e; re vol ver f>r .T.n-k. 
 
 ACT IV. Cliunli of duiigli ami valice for Meliuda; camera for Hi; letter for 
 Trixie. • 
 
^The Only GirL4^ 
 
 Comedy-drama in four acts, by Mina Gennell, for 7 male, (cai 
 double to 4 male) 4 female characters. Time of play- 
 ing, 1 hour, 60 minutes. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 
 
 ACT I. — Henry Robins' summer home — "Where am dat pesky 
 ehild anyhow" — Mr. Robins aiui family return from the city — *'Sii« 
 absolutely refuses to call me mother" — Uot and her stray dog — 
 "Well, it strikes me you're kind of friendly with Marie, all-right, 
 all-right" — "Don't get mad about it" — Dot tells a fish story — A les- 
 son in spelling — Ta-ta, Sandy, see you later" — Mr. Banford proposes 
 •to Marie — "My daughter's fortune shall be placed beyond your 
 reach" — A dastardly murder — Fred accused — Dot — "I will bring the 
 real assassin to justice, 1 swear it." 
 
 ACT II. — One year later — Fred in prison, accused of murdering 
 his -father — Samuel and Dot plan a rescue — "Oh Marie, he is our 
 bitterest enemy" — "By golly, 1 don't like no cheap man" — Sanford 
 confronted by Dot — Marie's promise — Lindy's drefful dream — Fred 
 rescued from prison by Dot. 
 
 ACT III. — Marie and Sanford — "I cannot break my promise to 
 Dot" — Plotting the abduction of Marie — Dot disguised as a boot- 
 black overhears an important conversation — "Paddy Waites, de 
 toughest kid in de city" — The villian foiled by Dot — The written 
 confession of Victor Sanford — Dot appears in the nick of time. 
 
 ACT IV. — The expected bridegroom —"I done seed a red headed 
 man on a white horse, an' dat am always a sure sign of trouble 
 brewin" — Dot shows her new dress much to the disgust of Aunt 
 Lindy, who hates to see such suffication— A broken promise— Dot 
 jealous — "If I could secure that confession, I would have nothing to 
 fear" — An interrupted wedding— Fred proven innocent— "There 
 stands the murderer of my father — Death of Sanford — Marriage of 
 Samuel and Dot. Price 26 cents. 
 
 Tiiff'^s Boarder. 
 
 A Farce in 1 act, by Robert Henry Diehl, for 3 male and 2 female 
 characters. Mr. Tutf, (a wonUl-be-Congressman) overhears his 
 boarder, (who is an actor) rehearsing a play. The plot for the cap- 
 ture of the supposed villian by Mr. Tuff and servant, Norah Casey, 
 causes much excitement. Costumes modern. Can be staged any- 
 where. Time of performance, 20 minutes. Price loots. 
 
 flmes' PuQlisning Co., ciyiiB, onio. 
 
B" 
 
 A.mes' Plays-Oontinned 
 
 ■^ 
 
 NO M P'- 
 
 53 Out ill ihe Street** 6 4 
 
 51 Res.iiRd .5 3 
 
 5>9 .Suve.1 2 3 
 
 Hri Turn of the Tide 7 4 
 
 63 Three G hisses Ji ilJiy 3 3 
 
 fi3 Ten Kiglits in ;t B;tr-Rooiii...7 3 
 
 58 Wret-Ue.l 3 
 
 COMEDIES 
 
 124 An Afflicte.l Fuiiiily 7 5 
 
 87 Biter Bit, The ..h 2 
 
 394 Bird Family « R 
 
 257 C:iuirhl in the Act .7 3 
 
 24K Cjiptnrea ft 4 
 
 lift Caste 5 3 
 
 3«S Case of Jealousy ; 4 2 
 
 131 Ciirarelte. The .4 2 
 
 225 ('mtid's (Papers 4 4 
 
 38« Fiiriiier Larkin's Boarders. .5 4 
 
 3.T« Girl from tlie Mi. lw;i>. The..3 -3 
 
 207 Heroi.- iMitchiiiaM of 'ifi H 3 
 
 \m H..me ..5 3 
 
 421 In a Spider's Web « 5 
 
 3H3 .loshiia Blodeelt. 2J>c 7 2 
 
 3?3 .Toh;ine'4 Bljitz'M Mistake 4 3 
 
 174 LovfS L'll.or not Lost 3 3 
 
 :i57 London Assiiraiu'e ft 3 
 
 341 Mi«s Blothiiiarnyn BItnider..3 3 
 
 411 MIsH Tops v Til rvy 4 4 
 
 4IK Miitdoon's Blunders, 25«' 5 3 
 
 Un New Yeara in N. Y. 7 ft 
 
 37 N'ot So Rad After All « 5 
 
 33H Our Roys .6 4 
 
 12rt Our l>anirhters , 8 fi 
 
 370 Our Snnimrr Boarder's. 6 3 
 
 205 Tiij? and iJie Bahv 5 3 
 
 114 Passion- ..9 4 
 
 'Jft4 Prof. .Taiiie«»" Estporienee 
 
 Teiii'Jiintr Country School.. .4 3 
 
 219 Rnpn and Bottles". 4 1 
 
 239 S.'ale With Sharps n,m\ 
 
 Flats 3 2 
 
 404 Seiviii.ts vs. Miister ft 2 
 
 375 Slipht Mistake 5 
 
 221 Solon Shingle 14 2 
 
 3fi3 Stub. es,. :..J< 3 
 
 2&2 Two Bud Box s Ji 3 
 
 30rt Three Hats, The .4 3 
 
 ■JIO ?2,000 Reward „ "2 
 
 329 Vi.iefs Misti.ke n 4 
 
 351 Winniner H.ind. The 6 2 
 
 384 Widow M.Ginty. The 5 4 
 
 TRAGEDIES 
 
 Ifi The Serf « 3 
 
 FARCES & COMEDIETTAS 
 
 132 
 316 
 320 
 
 391 
 175 
 8fi 
 352 
 
 ■Actor an<l Servam 2 
 
 Aimt C'liHrlofte's Mal»l 3 3 
 
 All ill u Muddle 3 3 
 
 Andy Frei-Uies 4 3 
 
 Aetor fi Schenie. The ,.,4 4 
 
 B^-t-iv Baker .„2 "J 
 
 Bla.-k vs. White 4 2 
 
 Bridget Briiiiijrans' Trou- 
 bles i -i 
 
 NO. 
 
 401 
 344 
 289 
 287 
 317 
 324 
 345 
 249 
 220 
 379 
 188 
 407 
 218 
 224^ 
 
 23.3 
 154 
 274 
 209 
 
 3(r7 
 
 271 
 llrt 
 140 
 
 3»Vi 
 398 
 308 
 
 f95' 
 
 305 
 
 29i» 
 
 It 
 
 •m» 
 
 40rt 
 303 
 389 
 380 
 228 
 
 302 
 
 106 
 288 
 328 
 139 
 231 
 2.35 
 
 69 
 2«»^ 
 212 
 
 32 
 273 
 313 
 356 
 354 
 349 
 285 
 296 
 
 •259 
 395 
 
 M. F. 
 
 Box and Cox .2 I 
 
 Badly Mixed 2 2 
 
 Colonel's Mishap 5 
 
 Cousin Josiah I 1 
 
 Cleveland's Reeept'n Party 5 3 
 
 Djiv in a Dot-tor's Offiee 5 1 
 
 Deacon Jones' Wife's Ghost 4 
 
 Double Election 9 1 
 
 Dutchv vs. Nisner 3 
 
 Dutchiiians Picnic, The 3 
 
 Dutch Prize Fiphter 3 
 
 Dr. Baxter's Servants 4 
 
 Everybody Astonished 4 
 
 Foolinp with the Wronf? 
 
 Man 2 1 
 
 Freezing; a Mother-lii-Law...3 2 
 
 Fun in a Post Office 4 2 
 
 Family Jars 5 2 
 
 Goose with tlie Golden 
 
 Epps ^■■■^ 
 
 Ballabalioola, the Medicine 
 
 Man 4 
 
 Hans Brniumel's Cafe 5 
 
 Hash 4 
 
 How He Popped the Ques- 
 tion 1 
 
 How to Tame Your Mother- 
 
 in-Law 4 
 
 Hotel Healthy 4 
 
 Haunted Hat. The 2 
 
 Irish Sijuire of Squasli 
 
 Ridjre .4 
 
 In the WroiiB Clotlies 5 
 
 Jac«>b Shl.ifT's Mistake .3 
 
 Jiiiimie Jones „.3 
 
 John Smith S 
 
 ^T 11 111 bo Jum 4 
 
 Jiid^'e by Proxy J> 
 
 Kiss ill the Dark 2 
 
 Kitty and Patsv I 
 
 Kh tie's Deception 4 
 
 LRiiderbach's Little Sur- 
 prise 
 
 Locked in a Dress- maker's 
 
 Room 3 
 
 Lodgiiijrs for Two 3 
 
 Love ill all Corners 5 
 
 Landlord's Revenue, Tlie 3 
 
 Matrimonial Bliss .1 
 
 Match for a Mother-in-L»w3 
 
 More Blunders than One 4 
 
 Mother's tool *^ 
 
 My Precious Bets.v 
 
 Mv Turn Next 
 
 y\\ Wife's Relatione, ^ 
 
 Mv Xeighbor's Wife 3 
 
 MatchiuakiiiR Father 2 
 
 Mike Donovan s Courtship..! 
 
 Mystic Charm. The 
 
 My Mother-in-Law 2 
 
 Mashers Mashed, The 5 
 
 Nanka's Leap Y'ear Ven- 
 ture ■••'» 
 
 Nobody's Moke -^ 
 
 Nip and Tuck 
 
 2 I 
 
 2 
 
 3 
 
 
 1 
 
 ^ 
 
 j6 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 016 102 308 5 
 
 NO. 
 340 
 .53 1 
 381 
 4()0 
 *fi7 
 217 
 
 ia=i 
 
 28fi 
 IQ-i 
 Xi2 
 412 
 27fi 
 159 
 IrtO 
 )H0 
 171 
 '.'fi7 
 
 41 fi 
 fiR 
 ^h 
 30fl 
 13S 
 
 •r^-27 
 2;^2 
 241 
 270 
 1 
 art?; 
 3SR 
 34fi 
 113 
 326 
 
 {37 
 167 
 -28 
 2Q2 
 263 
 166 
 28 1 
 367 
 312 
 269 
 213 
 7 
 332 
 151 
 ■56 
 "70 
 135 
 147 
 155 
 
 414 
 403 
 111 
 157 
 377 
 
 Our Hotel .5 
 
 Olivf't '.'.".'.'.'.'... "....'.".3 
 
 Ouv Famitv Umbrt'lhi 4 
 
 OhstiiiMtP Fainiiy, Tlip 4 
 
 Piuldv MiU'w- Bov 5 
 
 Patent \Vii>*liii,£r MHi.iiiM,»...4 
 
 Ppi's*>piiteil 1) 11 toll in an 6 
 
 Pi-ofeo^ioMMl (iardenev.. .....!4 
 
 Poor Pilico.ly 2 
 
 Pa t Mi-Fi-pp. " .....1!!7 
 
 PrtiminiT the Oii»«'»tf'^Ki 2 
 
 Pi-inl*»i- ai»'l HisDevil-si.TJiP* 
 
 Oniet Fiimily.,, 4 
 
 ReeruMir Fix. ..".:... "...[...'..^ 
 
 Ripi)le« ........2 
 
 Rnnffti r)ii,inonii 6 
 
 Room 44 .. . 2 
 
 RMSi':il P:.t, Tliat ^ 
 
 R\iheii RmIip 2 
 
 Sliain Pfo''es«o»". The 4 
 
 Spelliii «!<«•»!. Tlte .......7 
 
 S;M»t:i <'l»n'<' Dn itirlit^r 5 
 
 R*»win'r rihwlp of Pi'i-ioil .0 
 
 S. H. A. M. IMnafo."- r, 
 
 Romebmlv''* Xo>>odv 3 
 
 Strii'Mv •|>.up*»i-:.n.-^ '2 
 
 Stwyp Sfriick Va»ik»>p 4 
 
 StvnrV hv Liffhtniiie ...........2 
 
 Sliolf iinii Slfijinei" .5 
 
 SbitihPi* MTiil Ti-asher 5 
 
 Slupiil Cmiid < 
 
 Snow -Riill ......3 
 
 Siernine nn Votor 1 
 
 Swit<'he<1 Off .0 
 
 Too Ar:inv OouRiim 3 
 
 Two Gpntlpinen in u Fix 2 
 
 TlKit Awfn" r-iirnet BMe...!.. 3 
 
 TMUinrr t.hp CpTisns 1 
 
 Turn H'Mi Out 3 
 
 Thirfv-thvpe Next Birthday 4 
 
 TiiTi Fl:in nigra n 5 
 
 Tfi;il«4 of a Oonntrv Editor.. .6 
 
 Texnn Mm li pi-- in- Law 1 
 
 Two Atint Emilv<i .0 
 
 iflO.OOO W isrer. A 4 
 
 Un<»1e Fthiin i 
 
 T''rijnst ,Tn«»ti<'p 6 
 
 Vermont Wool Dealer « 
 
 Wonder fnl Tel *» oh one 3 
 
 Whioh io Whioh? 3 
 
 Wanted ti HM«i>»and ..2 
 
 Wooincr Tender niffli-nltlef... t 
 
 Whl'^h wiirhe Marry?...: .2 
 
 Widower'wTriMW 4 
 
 WaUineHim T'n 1 
 
 Why Tl>ey Joined the Re- 
 
 h<»or!io ..0 
 
 Who'R Who?'.'.'.." 3 
 
 Winninp a Wif»* 2 
 
 YHukpp Onell^t ,3 
 
 Vanl<*»p r^.l,!!*.,- 7 
 
 YmooI.'v Hotel Exp«»ri>Mice...3 
 
 XTHIOPIAN FARCES, i 
 
 204 Aendemv of Rt'irw 6 O] 
 
 17? Bla.'k ShoomnUpr 4 2l 
 
 Thf I. ltd.' dr-,,} Make- 
 
 NO. 
 
 'OH 
 2.^3 
 325 
 
 2N 
 
 37« 
 
 BlaeUStHtue . 
 Best i-ure, The 
 Coiiioideiwe 
 Colored Seiiiit'oi 
 
 <'hopq 
 
 Orhnp's Trip 
 
 r.itiin" Sperleiiee In.a biw 
 
 tor's Offl.-e 4 .' 
 
 Hannted House 2 
 
 Handy .Andy '■ .2 d 
 
 Hypoehondri:!^, The 2 n 
 
 TiitHlliffenee Offlee. The 3 
 
 In For It « I 
 
 .TaUe iind Saow 2 
 
 Mi«.'hevloPS Nitfper 4 2 
 
 Midnii:ht ToUe ■ ...2 I 
 
 Mnsicil Darker 2 
 
 Vol a«j T>.*af jin »'.■ •-;^.-.,i». 2 
 
 Noliodx 's Son. 2 
 
 Old Clothes. 3 n 
 
 Old Dad's Cabi>: 2 ■.' 
 
 «)theMo u II 
 
 Pomp (ireen'R SnakfM .2 " 
 
 Prof. Bone's Latest Inven- 
 tion .5 I) 
 
 'Jnarrelsoaie SeeCanfH 3 " 
 
 Sehocd .5 
 
 Seeing Bostin^; 3 l> 
 
 sham Doetor 3 3 
 
 KportR on a L.irk 3 <» 
 
 Slai^re Strnek DnrUey 2 1 
 
 Sl.i-awberrv Shoi teake 2 
 
 Sele.H School. The 5 
 
 Those Awful Boys iS 
 
 Ticket Taker 5 
 
 Vi.-e Versa .4 " 
 
 Villkens and DIuali 4 I 
 
 Virjrini:! Munnnv 6 | 
 
 William Tell 4 i' 
 
 Wig-Milker and His Ser- 
 vants 
 
 GUIDE BOOKS. 
 
 17 Hints on Rlucntioi; 
 130 Hint« to Ain.ilPurs 
 
 MISCELLANEOUS. 
 
 236 
 282 
 319 
 .161 
 
 -PR 
 2."V5 
 
 v:n 
 
 61 
 353 
 
 2<l 
 •.VU 
 2(6 
 •517 
 
 2.5S 
 
 177 
 107 
 133 
 179 
 •'43 
 92 
 23S 
 122 
 108 
 2t5 
 216 
 2<W> 
 21«t 
 •2<t5 
 156 
 
 an. 
 
 On to \'i«-tor\ , CafUata, 25c..') .^ 
 
 Festival of Days 
 
 CiMisin ,1ohn'8 AllMim, Pan 
 
 lomines 
 
 Hai>py FrauUs SoiiK'<l''r. 
 Ames' Seleet Re<-ilatioii8 
 
 No. I 
 
 Mother Earth and her Ve;. 
 
 atable Oaiijrhters 
 
 AineH' Series of Medley- 
 Reeilations and Talilejn - 
 
 No. I 
 
 AmeK' Seriea of Me1dle.\ 
 Reeitationg a|itl Panm 
 
 mimes No. 2 
 
 .loan of Are Drill 
 
 Vielim of Woman's Rights 1 ''n 
 
 Family DlMeipline " 
 
 My Day and Now-a-DaiM n ^ 
 
 Up Box. price ft* t'tnlH. 
 
 215 
 2.50 
 260 
 
 399 
 397 
 360 
 
 382 
 
 3(li 
 371 
 IH4 
 
 IH6 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 016 102 308 5 # 
 
 Hollinger Corp.