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A HARVARD 
 ALPHABET 
 
 THE VERSES BY W. B. W. AND H. W. P. AND 
 
 ANOTHER: THE DRAWINGS 
 
 BY J. G. C. AND R. E. 
 
 I 
 
 THE HARVARD CO-OPERATIVE SOCIETY 
 CAMBRIDGE • MASSACHUSETTS • MDCCCCII 
 
JTHE i.iaHArtY OF 
 CONGRESS, 
 
 WW ^q 1962 
 
 C »KS CV,XXo No. 
 
 cony e. 
 
CO PYRIGHT 1902 BY 
 
 W. B. WHEELWRIGHT 
 
 AND H. W. PALMER 
 
To John Harvard &' Sons 
 
 ff^e respectfully dedicate this book 
 
is our Athlete; 
 
 Long may he wave 
 O'er the Y and the P 
 
 And the bold Carlisle brave! 
 
 May he bat, row^ and run 
 And play football vs^ith zest, 
 
 Unless he is floored 
 
 By the deadly strength test. 
 
is a thing that the Y. M. C. A. 
 
 Is shocked to behold in the 
 night or the day, 
 
 And well it may be; 'tis a 
 boy with a "bun." 
 
 Just see, dearest reader, this student has 
 one. 
 
is our Crackajack College 
 Crew; 
 
 There's one queer thing 
 about it, 
 
 You can't get on it with a pull, 
 You can't get on without it. 
 
is the Dun, 
 Impertinent one, 
 Who, searching for "mon," 
 Is tapping the door. 
 
 'Tis likewise the Debt 
 He's trying to get 
 From me, so I let 
 
 Him knock on till he's sore. 
 
is the Etiquette practised at 
 college, 
 
 Elegant etiquette all must 
 acknowledge. 
 
 The ''Ladies' Hum Jumble" and "Man- 
 ners for Gents" 
 
 Are the models we follow, as this represents. 
 
is for Fusser, 
 
 And F is for Fair, 
 And F is the Father 
 He'd ask did he dare. 
 
 But F is for Faculty, 
 
 F is for Fail, 
 And lastly the Favor 
 
 He gets in the mail. 
 
 
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^■^_ 
 
 :W 
 
 
 
 ^y^'fl 
 
 Hakvaiu* College, 
 
 18-J^ 
 
 y:^<ycd.<L&'±^ 
 
 to come to the Dean's Office, on 
 
 ring office hours. 
 
 L. B. H. RKIGGS, Dean 
 
 Room Lf. _ 
 
 The Dean'e office hour* are on Momlar/ruesilay, and Friday, from 10 to 12.30. 
 
 I 
 
 ._. I 
 
 i 
 
 mpMamtmni 
 
 =««W"SSSJ!555555;55^^^^^^^^^^ 
 
what a Game! 
 
 Why the deuce can't we 
 score ? 
 
 It is always the same. 
 Hully Gee! what a game! 
 The half-backs are lame 
 
 And the line men are sore. 
 Gee! what a game! 
 
 Why the deuce can't we score? 
 
 /A n /v 
 
stands for Harvard, New 
 Haven as well, 
 
 Since H stands for Heaven 
 and likewise for Hell. 
 
is my Insolvency, 
 
 That's what makes me 
 blue; 
 
 Aye, the I I'm eying now 
 
 Is an I. O. U. 
 
J is old John, 
 Who yet is no Jay; 
 He stuck all our dads, 
 And was old in their day. 
 As a rooter and linguist 
 He's best of all men. 
 For to him "Veritas" 
 
 Means "Ter Hill wid Yale, fren'." 
 
is for Kegs, 
 Whose contents and dregs 
 We drain till our legs 
 No longer support us. 
 
 Like Omar Khayyam, 
 While we still have a dram 
 We don't give a damn. 
 Let the Proctor report us. 
 
stands for Ladies and we stand 
 for them. 
 
 How dismal old Cam- 
 bridge would be 
 
 If Grace wouldn't go to the 
 ball games with Clem, 
 
 And Maud wouldn't go there with me. 
 
is Memorial, 
 
 Transept armorial, 
 Hall Senatorial, 
 
 Food on the bum ; 
 Steaks to be laboured with. 
 Scrambled eggs flavoured with 
 Shells, and soup savoured with 
 
 Coon waiter's thumb. 
 
is the Note Book we 
 carry each day 
 
 To while at dull lec- 
 tures the hours away. 
 
 We fill it with pictures, 
 with verses and jokes. 
 
 For we know when we please we can buy 
 printed notes. 
 
is the Officer seen on the square, 
 
 As he paces about with om- 
 nipotent air; 
 
 He wears a large belt, but 
 there's nothing to spare. 
 
 'Tis also the Offering taken from all. 
 
 Two tickets apiece to the Officers' ball. 
 
 For druggists the number is hardly as small. 
 
^_^^ Ois the Proctor; 
 
 H ^P I blush to discuss 
 
 ^(l The faults and the foibles 
 
 fii 
 
 Of this horrid cuss; 
 
 He peeks through the keyhole, 
 
 He's contemptibly mean, 
 
 He rubbers our mail 
 
 And reports to the Dean. 
 
is my quartet of Queens, 
 
 To choose any one of whom 
 means 
 
 To lose all the rest; 
 
 And so, as you 've guessed, 
 
 ril worship them all just as Queens. 
 
is the Rain. I sing 
 Of the beautiful rain in Spring 
 That, pouring down hard, 
 Reduces the yard 
 
 To a wet, sloppy, mud-puddled thing. 
 
is the Student. 
 
 Oh, where can you find 
 A uselesser body 
 
 Or more better mind? 
 
 He will smoke, drink and 
 study 
 
 At once in the strife, 
 
 To fulfil his conception 
 
 Of strenuous life! 
 
is the Typical Harvard man. 
 
 I'd like to describe him, 
 
 But nobody 
 can. 
 
 Some call him a 
 dandy, 
 
 Some call him a snob. 
 
 Indifferent others. 
 
 But judge from this 
 daub. 
 
is the Urchin so ragged and 
 torn, 
 
 Who loafs on the street from 
 the day he is born. 
 
 The words he learns first show his natural 
 bent, 
 
 They are, "Down wid de Ha'vards" and 
 "Scramble a cent." 
 
 «K£c 
 
is the Varsity, fountain of fame, 
 
 And often the bet that you 
 lose on a game. 
 
 'Tis also the Victory drawn 
 for this verse. 
 
 Which we don't think is good. 
 But it might have been worse! 
 
I 
 
stands for the Wisdom of Poco, 
 
 Wonderful wisdom of him so 
 rococo. 
 
 He'll buy your old suit, cash 
 a postdated check, 
 
 Play a mild game of blackmail you 'd never 
 suspect. 
 
 J&.C . 
 
is the Xtra we order to eat 
 
 When we dine at Memorial 
 Hall. 
 
 There's an Xtra fine soaked 
 for each order and still 
 
 It is not Xtra fine after all. 
 
 "R'R* 
 
I 
 
is the Youthful instructor 
 
 Who thinks he is something 
 quite swell. 
 
 He gives us E Pluses, 
 On Sunday he fusses, 
 
 Oh, my, what a ter- 
 rible sell! 
 
5^ is the Zeal, 
 
 So hard to conceal, 
 With which we appeal 
 To "Rooters," when we. 
 With arm waves ecstatic. 
 And both cheeks pneumatic, 
 Cry out so emphatic. 
 
 Now, boys. One! Two! Three! 
 
 IIAfiVA^D#HAR\^a2D IhAIS^AKD 
 
 HARVARD. 
 
I^'j^h3 
 
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