• Pi-) ai 
 
Hollinger Corp. 
 pH 8.5 
 
PS 2669 
 
 .P37 G7 ElJ^rn XJHSTXOISr FO^UsK^ 
 Copy 1 
 
 THE MARKIAGE 
 
 OF 
 
 ST. UWR[|ICE IND MISS ISSIPPI 
 
 V^. K. P. 
 
 v^e 
 
 PHILADELPHIA-: 
 
 KING & BAIED, 607 SANSOM STEEET. 
 

AEGUMEN'L 
 
 The two greatest rivers of tlie eartli rise in the same neigh- 
 borhood — Pass along together for some time — Separate — 
 Pursue different courses, one to the East, the other to the 
 South — Lake Superior — Sault St. Mary — Lake Michigan — 
 Lake Huron — Georgian and Saginaw Bays — Lake St. Clair 
 — The Union Forever — Detroit River — Lake Erie — Niagara 
 Eiver— The Rapids— The Cataract— The Ravine— The Whirl- 
 pool — The Mirror-face below — The Parting — Lake Ontario — 
 Buncombe and Grammon Politicians — The Separation — Great 
 Speed of the Courser St. Lawrence — The Ottawa Eiver, First 
 Groomsman — The Saguenay River, Second Groomsman — A 
 Firm Union Man — White-headed Old Ocean — The Lone One — 
 The Summons — The Rocky Mountains — The Meeting — The 
 Missouri, ' First Bridesmaid — The Alleghauies — The Ohio, 
 Second Bridesmaid — The Mississippi Valley — The Mighty 
 Water-Bird— The Boon of Man— The Wheel of Chance— The 
 Gaul— The Frank— The Chain— The Yine— The Arkansas 
 River — Red River — The Discovery by De Soto of the Parent 
 of Waters — His Death and Burial therein— The Battle of New 
 Orleans — Packenham — Jackson — No Saxon that Man — Po- 
 pular Cant — Home Tooke — Brown — Scattering of Saxon 
 Sheep — Truly Great Man, that Son of a Celt — John Calf's 
 Sire— -Johnny Crapaud — The Mongrels of Ages — The Shoots 
 of Old Carthage— The Romans— The Vandals— The Visi- 
 goths — The Moors — The Essence of All, the Sixteenth Cen- 
 tury Saxons — Bloody-flagged BulHes — Chips of Ring-Sci- 
 ence — Hairy Rag-pickers — No Setting Sun, A Well-sounding 
 
Story — A Different sort of a Truth, A Never Eising Centre 
 — An Assistant Orb— Old Newton — An Astral Sol — Sir 
 Oracle — Don Eodrigo — The Mediterranean — The Land of the 
 Csesars — The Sun-dried Sons of the South — The Bandits — 
 The Grinders — The Winders — The Artists— The Squallers, 
 Poor in their Line — The Discarded Rudiment — The Septen- 
 ary Alphabet — The Harsh Tongue — The Blower of Good 
 Wind — The Swedish Nightingale — The Keeper of Trade- 
 Driving Shops — A very Ancient Gentleman — A Master of 
 Counterpoint — The Austrian Jackal — The Hun — The Lom- 
 bard — The Grim Russian — Peter — Fritz — Old Schnapps — 
 Jolly Mynheer -Beer-Barrel — Barrel of Beer — Murphy, the 
 CommoDtator — Old Paddies — Rich Brogue — Still-house of 
 Blarney — Goose-Pond, Killarney— Giant's Causeway — Con- 
 greve Rockets — Whirlwind — Chinaman's Fan — Wonderful 
 Tin Pan — The Arrival — Poor Country — Big Trees — Idle 
 W^ind — Yankee Breastwork — Theatrical Thunder, by the 
 Barrel — Rafting the Cataract — A Good Draught — A Bundle 
 of Straw — The Land of the Saints — A Flattened Equator, 
 with a Northern Pole — An Extensive Torpedo — The Andes 
 — The Dead Sea — The Touched-off Fizzing Globe — The 
 Gulf — Dough Faces — Know Nothings — The Great Heart of 
 the Atlantic — A Tideless Sea — Important Inquiry — The 
 Resolve — The Introduction Proposed — The Picture — The 
 Mighty Girdle — Not Canonic for True Saints to Marry — 
 Great Changes — Every Girl does not meet with a Larry — 
 The Waiting— The Start— The Progress— The Tortugas 
 Islands — Florida Reef — Cape Canaveral — Cape Fear — Cape 
 Look Out — Cape Hatteras — Nantucket — Sable Island, passed 
 — Three Thousand Miles Made — St. Lawrence in Sight — 
 Troth Redeemed, and Long Separated United — Voyage to 
 Europe — Misnomer — Mississippi, the Mother of Streams — 
 St. Lawrence, the Father of Waters. 
 
THE MARRIAGE OF ST. LAWRENCE AND MISS ISSIPPI. 
 
 In the midst of the continent known as the Young, 
 
 Two bright, thriving creatures, as neighbors, upsprung ; 
 
 Their highlands were one, and their play -grounds the same; 
 
 They seemed of close kin, though they differ'd in name. 
 
 Together they linger'd, together they cours'd ; 
 
 Together they murmur'd, as progress they forc'd ; 
 
 And onward, and onward, as youth must grow stronger, 
 
 Together they linger'd, a little while longer. 
 
 But Time in his marching, and Fame in her call, 
 
 Proclaim to the world, this truth above all : 
 
 That man in his strivings, his ease must discard, 
 
 Or shame and discomfort will be his reward ; 
 
 So urg'd by this motive and waywardness, too, 
 
 They determine some different paths to pursue ; 
 
 And Lawrence, the hardy, grown strong in few years, 
 
 "Spreads out" in his coursiugs, and eastwardly steers; 
 
 Quite soon he becomes a stout, vigorous man, 
 
 And shows he's " Superior," wherever he can. 
 
 He's profound and he's broad,* not eas'ly "got over;" 
 
 He's a "swell" in his way, though more of a "rover." 
 
 He 's cool and collected, most generally so, 
 
 But once in a while he takes part in " a blow." 
 
 He travels on briskly — a little must vary, 
 
 And soon find himself in the Sault of St. Mary ; 
 
 Thence onward he dashes, digressing young man. 
 
 But comes to a full stop, in long Michigan. f 
 
 He 's well dam'd just here, and obliged to back out ; 
 
 He turns to the right, and he takes the left route : 
 
 That is, understand me, as easy you might, 
 
 He takes the route left, and he finds that 'tis riglit. 
 
 Then " onward," he says to himself as he goes, 
 
 " I must gain what I've lost, 'ere I take my repose. 
 
 Hurry on, hurry on," (for brevity's sake 
 
 Corrupted to Huron, with prefix of Lake.)t 
 
 * Length, 350 miles ; breadth, 160 miles ; depth, 970 feet 
 elevation above the ocean, 630 feet. 
 
 t Length, 360 miles ; breadth, 100 miles ; depth, 900 feet 
 elevation, 600 feet. 
 
 % Length, 220 miles ; breadth, 150 miles ; depth, 300 feet 
 elevation, 580 feet. 
 
6 
 
 " I cannot remain, though I'd like to, awhile, 
 
 I'm bound yet to travel full many a mile ; 
 
 To whom thus engaged, I need not declare, 
 
 'Tis easy to guess — to one passingly fair. 
 
 Farewell to you, Georgian, Saginaw Bay, 
 
 I bid you good-bye in my off-handed way. 
 
 I'm hurried and worried, grown thin ev'ry where. — 
 
 I'll be with you, directly, my lovely St. Clair. 
 
 We'll have a nice time, then, though short it may be : 
 
 We'll spread ourselve ^ hugely and look big, won't we ? 
 
 Then shine out bright jewel, of measureless cost, 
 
 Thou'rt a gem in this cluster, that must not be lost. 
 
 Thou'rt ' one of the many' — link'd here forever, 
 
 And perish the ingrate the bond would dissever. 
 
 With all imperfections peculiar to birth, 
 
 That bond is the best that exists on this earth — 
 
 Forever and ever, oh ! let me feel true ! 
 
 'Tis the grandest of thoughts, and a soul-stirring view — 
 
 Forever and ever this Union shall stand, 
 
 'Tis A CHATN OF KOCK GRANITE, AND NO ROPE OF SAND ! 
 
 Farewell to you, Clary, I'm off right away ; 
 I'm sorry to leave you, for I've much yet to say ; 
 Though probably 'ere this you're already weary 
 With what I have spoken, so here's for tall Erie."* 
 Soon looms in the distance, this last mention'd name, 
 That's since been devoted to freedom and fame ; 
 And Perry and Elliott, patriots true, 
 The bravest of soldiers, and good captains, too ; 
 Your names shall not perish, in prose nor in rhyme, 
 Till Earth be a Chaos, and Space swallow Time. 
 " Oh ! hail to you, Erie, I'm glad to be here ; 
 I've had it tough working to find my way clear. 
 Those narrows and windings have made me look slim, 
 Especially Detroit, and others like him ; 
 But here, with your breezes so free and so fresh, 
 I hope to make up what I've lost in my flesh ; 
 So sweep away, Erie, I begin to feel stout ; 
 Sweep away broadly, let's have a ' blow out ;' 
 'Tis said by a number that when you don't ' flirt,' 
 You can blow a man readily out of his shirt If 
 
 * Length, 250 miles ; breadth, 80 miles ; depth, 100 feet ; 
 elevation, 550 feet. 
 
 t The storms that occur on Lake Erie are scarcely sur- 
 passed in fury by any occurring on the Atlantic. In 1840, 
 at Buflaio the waves were dashed with such force against the 
 breakwater protecting the lighthouse, as to destroy a large 
 
Then sweep on, my Erie, just show what you are— 
 
 An orb that moves lightly, as well as fix'd star 
 
 Of this constellation, of course I must mean, 
 
 That forms a great nation of lakes, as here seen. 
 
 Then sweep on, my Erie, for I must soon leave ; 
 
 I cannot stay with you, howe'er much you grieve ; 
 
 Niagara 's waiting, I can't disappoint ; 
 
 We 've an object to favor, and one that is joint. 
 
 So, Erie, farewell ; I must make greater speed; 
 
 Must exercise more, 'tis a thing that I need. 
 
 I'm grown rather fat : am clumsy withal ; 
 
 I'll cut down my size, till I bound like a ball; 
 
 I'll hop, and I'll skip, I'll jump, and I'll fly, 
 
 And think of you often, dear Erie,— good-bye !" 
 
 " Romantic Niagara ! I see you appear ; 
 
 How gently you move and begin your career ! 
 
 How calm is your surface ! how deep your repose ! 
 
 How far from your bosom, are throbs and are throes ! 
 
 Who e'er may behold you, must think as he gazes, 
 You 're the mildest of beings, threading life's mazes. 
 I'm delighted to see you, but yet I must say, 
 If you don't move more quickly, I can't with you stay. 
 I 'ye a mission on hand, which must be fulfill'd ; 
 'Tis one in my memory that's deeply instill'd. 
 Then come on, my Agie, you 're a beautiful creature, 
 And obedience to age, in youth's a fine feature." 
 Enough has been uttered, together they go ; 
 Agie's all fire, and no movement is slow ; 
 They fall and they rise, each other deporting, 
 Much faster than dolphins, in ocean, while sporting ; 
 They froth and they foam, but 'tis not with rage ; 
 They pitch and they tumble, like frantic non-age ; 
 And onward and onward, and headlong they dash, 
 And forward and downward, they shoot like a flash ; 
 And faster and faster, their bodies they drive ; 
 'T seems out of the question for them to survive ; 
 
 portion of it, together with many warehouses ; while a con- 
 siderable part of the lower end of the city was overflowed to 
 the depth of many feet. In conversation with some of the citi- 
 zens, they expressed the opinion to me, that a sailor who had 
 circumnavigated the globe was a mere novice when he came to 
 ship on Erie ; as much so as a land-lubber when going on 
 board a whaler. The gales between Europe and America 
 were, in their estimation, small affairs compared with what 
 Erie can show, when fully aroused. It took a first-class 
 typhoon of the China Sea, to move beside her, and even that 
 was not always up to standard. 
 
Till rushing and crushing, they come to the brink 
 Of the roaring, wild Yathek, in which they must sink ; 
 With a leap and a plunge, that seem to be bliss, 
 They clear the rock-wall, and reach the abyss I 
 
 The shock is tremendous ; exhausted each lies ; 
 
 But soon, like a Phoenix, together they rise ; 
 
 Though faint are their voices, and weaken'd their cries, 
 
 And silent their movements and blinded their eyes. 
 
 Yet still they push forward, at no tardy pace, 
 
 And objects surmountless, so fancied, displace. 
 
 How gracefully onward, how noiseless they glide ! 
 
 How like two young Hunters* together they ride ! 
 
 Their face is so placid — 'tis Quiet's own daughter's — 
 
 It looliS as if oil had been poured upon waters. 
 
 They are seemingly resting just after their leap, 
 
 And hoarding their strength for another great sweep ; 
 
 Yet not for one moment does onwardness cease, 
 
 But ever and ever their speed they increase ; 
 
 Till reaching a point where Discord has rule. 
 
 They dash away wildly — they're in the wMrl]jool ; 
 
 And round and about in grandest turmoil, 
 
 They dance on in madness, in delirium boil. 
 
 But 'bove all the noise of this fierce revolution, 
 
 Can be heard the clear voice, in glad retribution, 
 
 Of the playful, aroused, and once taunted maid, 
 
 " Friend Lawrence, come on, and don't be afraid." 
 
 The reproof is too cutting for him not to feel, 
 
 Though his senses were duller than ever was steel ; 
 
 And thus stimulated and smitten alike, 
 
 He makes a great effort and darts like a pike 
 
 Clear out of the vortex, and carries along. 
 
 The charming young trav'ler who 's made him so strong. 
 
 He's done what he can ; for a time he must rest ; 
 Must take things more calmly, he thinks it is best ; 
 So he says to gay Agie, " I hope it will suit 
 For a while to move slowly, and thus to recruit. 
 I'm anxious to get on, but then, bless my stars ! 
 I'm maimed and I'm pounded and cover'd with scars ; 
 Those common-siz'd rocks, or mighty big stones, 
 That hold up their heads, are no friend to one's bones. 
 And as I've a distance to travel on still, 
 I trust what I mention, may meet your good will." 
 *' Oh, certainly, Lawrence, whenever you please. 
 We'll move along slowly, — consult your own ease. 
 
 * Hunter, who performed at the Circuses, some thirty odd 
 years ago, was perhaps one of the most graceful and daring 
 riders that ever appeared in the world. 
 
You've invited me onward, of course I will go 
 
 In the manner you wisli me, be it fast, be it slow. 
 
 I Ve look'd how you walked, I 've watched how you ran — 
 
 Til stick hy your side as long as I can. 
 
 In all that you 've suffer'd, I must sympathize ; 
 
 You're a trustworthy man, and one that is wise : 
 
 'Tis true as you say, and as each one supposes, 
 
 Those rocks are a nuisance, lolien they turn up their noses." 
 
 Thus far it is settled, and onward they pass 
 O'er the face that is mirror'd in clearest of glass. 
 They talk as they travel, to make it less weary, 
 Of Mich, and Superior, of Huron, and Erie ; 
 Till Agie, grown braver, with seeming great force, 
 Cuts short, without wincing, the thread of discourse: — 
 " Yes, yes, my friend Lawrence, it is even so, 
 I 've finished my journey, no further can go ; 
 Look out and beyond you, and there just in sight, 
 Behold the broad veil of Ontario the bright."'^' 
 " Yes, Agie, I see her, she seems, to be fair ; 
 But Agie, sweet Agie, with you who '11 compare ? 
 For all that you 've done t' me, including your pranks, 
 Accept, noble Agie my full heart-felt thanks. 
 If thus you must leave me, oh ! Agie, the true, 
 Forever and ever, dear Agie, adieu !" 
 
 Their parting is dreadful ; but yet it must be ; 
 And Lawrence, the priz'd one, must onward stil flee ; 
 His life is much chequer'd, for now he is thin ; 
 He's lean and he 's lank, just shap'd like a pin. 
 His head 's the best point, though much over-wrought ; 
 His face is some wrinkled, with deep-seated thought. 
 This head is no "solid," (in technical phrase), 
 There's something inside, though rare of late days. 
 In other respects, you may think what you can ; 
 He 's a glorious fellow, and big-hearted man. 
 
 Ontario receives him with much easy grace, 
 
 And in his esteem, strives hard for a place : 
 
 With arms well extended, she welcomes him in ; 
 
 Enquires if good health his companion has been ; 
 
 Does a thousand nice things with the utmost delight, 
 
 And judges quite wisely, what 's wrong and what 's right. 
 
 Itinerant Lawrence likes well what he 's heard ; 
 
 But is so overcome, he can't utter a word ; 
 
 Not thus affected, with what has been said, 
 
 Like most speakers are, who 've a great empty head, 
 
 * Length, 180 miles ; breadth, 60 miles ; depth, 500 feet ; 
 elevation, 260 feet. 
 
10 
 
 Arid a heart that 's so full, 'tis all running over 
 
 With Buncombe and gammon, who more can discover ? 
 
 (Not one of the chosen, who meekly submit 
 
 To all sinecure places, their friends may deem fit 
 
 They should be the occupants ; who hold that they feel 
 
 They 're yielding their int'rests for the great public weal ; 
 
 With hand solemn-pointing, and deep-sounding voice, 
 
 Proclaim to the land that they hav'nt a choice ; 
 
 But since the dear people, as with Richard the Third, 
 
 Have cairdthem to power, they never preferr'd; 
 
 Since Fortune will buckle, like pedlars do packs. 
 
 Her most grievous burdens upon their meek backs, 
 
 They will not complain— will try to support it, 
 
 And if overtasked, will never report it. 
 
 They 're great men for laws ; go in for their letter, 
 
 And hang to one office, until they 've a better.) 
 
 No ; not thus affected, nor one of this class. 
 
 Is Lawrence ; he wishes a few days to pass 
 
 In resting — he's quite overcome, near to his neighbor, 
 
 Not with emotion, but physical labor. 
 
 His health here improves, he grows again stout ; 
 He lives pretty easy, and flourishes about. 
 Some time is thus spent, and advances are made, 
 Grently sweeping along, in a manner most staid. 
 And Lawrence, recover'd his spirits and strength, 
 Breaks out in a speech of no very great length : 
 " Majestic Ontario, how lovely when seen ! 
 You move like a Hebe, you step like a queen ; 
 It is quite refreshing to be by your side. 
 To see how you wave on, and mark how you glide ; 
 Especially grateful to one who has been ^ 
 In the midst of confusion and horrible din; 
 With Agie, the enchantress, doom'd on to whirl, 
 To dance in wild waltzes, oh L — d, what a girl ! 
 With some one must hurry, in haste himself carry ; 
 AVith others, 'tis pleasant for some time to tarry. 
 Thus making all names, in whatever places. 
 Agree in their import with what's on their faces." 
 
 Ontario listens with utmost attention, 
 
 To what he may hint, or what he may mention ; 
 
 But she utters no word in answer thereto-- 
 
 She 's as stately as sergeant when in a review ; 
 
 In the pride of her beauty, in pomp and in show, 
 
 Like pea-fowl she walks, nor looks once below. 
 
 She is not offended at words of this drift, 
 
 But thinks folks are queer ; she's a little bit mifi"d ; 
 
11 
 
 And wonders what pleasure some people can find, 
 
 In twisting round one way, then forced to unwind. 
 
 She has no objection to measured contortions. 
 
 But thinks flings and waltzes are horrid abortions. 
 
 Slowly and surely, and onward they press, 
 
 In what kind of humour, 'tis easy to guess : 
 
 Lawrence is silent, Ontario is cold ; 
 
 To make further overtures, neither 's so bold ; 
 
 And thus along jogging, they come to the line, 
 
 Within which the lady herself must confine ; 
 
 Without much ado, or their speech much adorning, 
 
 They shake hands in friendship, and wish a good morning. 
 
 Now Lawrence is clear of all odd obstructions ; 
 
 He '11 go with a rush for the greatest effluxions. 
 
 To be sure, he was anxious to move at his ease, 
 
 To walk as he 'd fancy, to ride as he 'd please ; 
 
 " But then, mild Ontario, like a sick porpoise, _ 
 
 Just mov'd as a house that 's drawn by a tortoise. 
 
 ]f she didn't like waltzing, without any joking, 
 
 She was very much pleas'd with new-fangled po(l)king." 
 
 At first he moves slow ; he's not "in condition ;" 
 
 " He 's rather too fat," though " full of ambition ;" 
 
 He " goes to work" calmly ; puts himself " under training," 
 
 And dashes on madly, his full speed maintaining. 
 
 If light be the track, and not at all stony, 
 
 He '11 beat badly Mac, and distance Tacony. 
 
 We often hear tell, when jockies speak naughty, 
 
 That horses will go in less than " two faughty ;" 
 
 But Lawrence when " moving," 'tis proved to be true, 
 
 Will go in the forty, without any two.^ 
 
 Away and away and away he passes ; 
 
 His speed is as great as the aggregate masses 
 
 Of things known as whirlwinds ; and without much bravado, 
 
 He equals, almost, the Spanish tornado. 
 
 But don't be mistaken by folly, the summit ; 
 
 He scorns to walk Spanish! like racer, he '11 run it. 
 
 And along the wild course, where naught has advanc'd, 
 He makes his own headway, as if full entranc'd, 
 Till he comes to the point where Ottawa sweeps in, 
 And then he rests briefly, or rather he sleeps in 
 The abnormal state his efi'orts have brought on ; 
 But before this is finished, or even is thought on, 
 He hails the great Ottawa, with, " welcome, my friend ; 
 I've been anxious a long while, and now that must end. 
 
 * Steamboats passing between Lake Ontario and Montreal, 
 travel at the rate of from 40 to 45 miles an hour. 
 
12 
 
 I'm engaged, cousin Ott., for the balance of life, 
 To one who is worthy to be a saint's wife, 
 And I wish you as witness of this settled fact, 
 And if not unpleasant, as groomsman to act ; 
 So give me your hand, in assent as token, 
 To a union that must he forever imbroken.^' 
 
 'Tis quickly accomplished ; as friends on they travel, 
 And slowly and quietly, life's ball unravel. 
 And soon they encounter, as thus they pass on, 
 Saguenay, the gallant, the son of Saint John.* 
 They accost him with kindness, with pleasure invite 
 To join in the mission — extremes to unite. 
 Without scruple he answers, approves of the plan, 
 Himself calls in earnest, a firm union man. 
 
 Their race is but short now, for soon they must reach 
 The form of old ocean, his white-headed beach ; 
 So slow and majestic, together they stride, 
 Lawrence in centre, the groomsmen beside. 
 And calmly they 're waiting the coming of one. 
 Who has much to do 'ere her mission be done. 
 But let us return to the time when she left 
 St. Lawrence, in sadness ; but of hope, not bereft ; 
 And moving along and alone in the world. 
 With none to give counsel, to tell how are hurl'd, 
 Temptations and lurings upon the unfriended. 
 That few can resist, when with luxury blended. 
 
 She sends to her sister, the distant Miss Ouri, 
 
 A word in great haste, as if on a jury. 
 
 The sister was summon'd ; " that laying aside 
 
 All business whatever," to meet her inside 
 
 Of the four thousandth mile from the place of her birth, 
 
 * The Saguenay river rises in the Lake of St. John. Elvers 
 do not usually rise in lakes ; and it is consequently a 
 remarkable circumstance that the greatest rivers of the earth, 
 have their origin in these bodies. The Amazon rises in Lake 
 Reyes. (Kings' Lake) The Orinoco in Ipava Lake. The 
 Mississippi, in Itasca Lake. The Yellow Stone, a principal 
 branch of the Missouri, perhaps the true river, in Lake Sub- 
 lettes. The St. Lawrence, in Lake Superior, or tracing it 
 through the St. Louis river, in Seven Beaver Lake. The 
 Volga, in Lake Sopki. The Yenisei, or Angara, as it is im- 
 properly called, in Lake Baikal. The Oby or Irtysh, in Zuizan 
 Lake. The Hoang Ho, in a small lake north of Thibet. The 
 Amoor in Koulon Lake; and the Nile, when its source shall 
 have been discovered, will probably be found to have its rise 
 in a lake also. 
 
13 
 
 And join in a voyage one-third round the earth.* 
 
 The Maid of the Mountain, thus summoned from home, 
 
 Leaves her rocky upheavals, through valleys to roam, 
 
 And journeys on eastward and southwardly too, 
 
 To the point designated for them to renew 
 
 Their kindest of feelings, by mingling together, 
 
 And braving all hardships, and all kinds of weather. 
 
 Presuraeless and noiseless and warm is their meeting ; 
 And cordial and fervent and hopeful their greeting. 
 In converse they travel, with hands close cemented, 
 And joy in a union to which they 've consented. 
 But slowly and calmly they move. To the east, 
 The betroth'd one has sent, to say that at least 
 One bridesmaid from Old Alleghany must come ; 
 That the Chippeway Range has permitted that some 
 Of his high-bred, majestic and much gifted daughters. 
 Should join in the meeting, composed of great waters. 
 
 The call is soon answered ; forthwith there appears, 
 A beautiful damsel of quite tender years, 
 Sweeping on westward ; nor yet once e'en pausing, 
 To cast a look round ; for fear 'twould be causing 
 The company to wait; like Chilianno, 
 Unceasingly rushes the tireless Ohio. 
 
 Not far from their junction, the sisters she sees ; 
 They 've turn'd more to eastward, and more at their ease ; 
 With the mildest of words, they give her their hands. 
 And count her a link in the earth's temper'd bands. 
 
 Now downward they hasten, sometimes with great force. 
 Striking islands that peer up, and alter their course 
 In some little measure ; but soon they regain. 
 Their mark'd out direction, and with firmness maintain 
 Their headway along ; yet examine with care, 
 Each branch that comes in, and thank for its share 
 Of the good it has done, in its course to their side, 
 Each one of the number, who to aid them has tried. 
 
 And in this relation, Arkansas we find,^ 
 
 And Red River also, who's not far behind ; 
 
 From the Parks and the Peaks, through deserts they break, 
 
 And press on unceasing, for their own and friends' sake. 
 
 In the dim distant future, their rich soil they see 
 
 Will nourish in comfort, the sons of the free ; 
 
 * The distance from the source of the Missouri, in the 
 Rocky Mountains, to the junction of its waters with those of 
 the St. Lawrence, is nearly eight thousand miles. The Mis- 
 souri itself, has been navigated by steamboats 3120 miles 
 
14 
 
 With tlie " native born" maize, or corn as 't we call, 
 That supports the most life, and is nutriment all ;* 
 With the grain of the East, transplanted, indeed. 
 But yielding more largely than when Orient seed ; 
 With the cotton that clothes more bodies than aught, 
 That 's found on the earth, so far as man 's taught ; 
 With the sugar that enters in every sphere, 
 Of social existence, in sadness or cheer ; 
 With freedom of person, and freedom of toil ; 
 With freedom of ruling, and freedom of soil ^ 
 With air that is pure, and a climate that 's dry, 
 For less one might ask, for more who would sigh ? 
 If all these together, be not enough still, 
 Then perish ye mortals, — aye perish ye will. 
 
 In ages to come, when the trav'ler shall sweep 
 
 O'er the face of these waters, that now calmly sleep. 
 
 In joy he'll exclaim, in ecstacy shout. 
 
 As he breathes for his country, as his manhood swells out, — 
 
 For four thousand miles to the east, to the west, 
 
 Does this great Water-bird on whose body I rest, 
 
 Spread her graceful, her ample, her ne'er failing wing, 
 
 To shelter and nourish her myriad offspring. 
 
 Chief of all gardens ! Mightiest of Yallies ! 
 
 Granary of earth ! Should man as he rallies 
 
 His hopes for his fellow, e'er pray for a boon 
 
 That forever must bless him, and later or soon 
 
 Be the home of scourged nations ; it must be for one 
 
 That 's like unto this. Oh ! how quickly doth run, 
 
 The blood in its coursings, and rush on it must, 
 
 As he feels that this refuge is given in trust, 
 
 For the good of mankind, to a people made free, 
 
 Of which he is one, in the world's destiny. 
 
 In times less remote, the vast wheel of chance. 
 
 May cast out its offerings ; 't will be seen at a glance. 
 
 That the Gaul and the Frank united will claim, 
 
 A right to all places, their own Cartier's name 
 
 Has given them a title, thus to be bounded. 
 
 As instruments say, — on Norman talk founded : — (a) 
 
 " On the south by the" Chain, " on the east by the" Yine,(5) 
 
 That spreads out its branches, as if to entwine 
 
 One half of a Continent in its embrace, 
 
 And feed in its yieldings the whole human race. 
 
 ■^ Indian corn contains nearly lOO per cent, of nutritious 
 matter. 
 
15 
 
 Immortal De Soto ; thy deep-hidden grave, 
 
 Must ever be wash'd by the unresting wave 
 
 Of the parent of waters ; and thou didst discover 
 
 That wide, winding sheet, which thy body must cover ; 
 
 Ah ! little thought'st thou, brave caballero, 
 
 Pioneer, warrior, undaunted hero. 
 
 When before thy clear vision its canopy spread, 
 
 Thou wouldst be the first to sleep in its bed. 
 
 With thy bones have since mingled in openless shrine, 
 
 The manes of thousands whose death was not thine.* 
 
 The party have reached, where since was decided, 
 
 The question that goosedom so long has divided ; 
 
 That song of the swan in his last dying note ; 
 
 That hutt at an object, so natural to goat ; 
 
 That " pitch into" subject that hacks write about, 
 
 And take it for granted, there can't be a doubt ; 
 
 That Superior Greatness of Anglo-Saxon, 
 
 Was scattered in the tempest by the scorned Celtic Jackson, 
 
 Go on with this " cant," from John Home Tooke, down 
 
 To ev'ry snob scribbler, aye, even to Brown ; 
 
 But remember, ye boasters, while thus ye revile 
 
 Ev'ry one who comes not from your oft-conquer'd isle, (c) 
 
 That one of the greatest, the firmest of men, 
 
 The bravest of Chieftains, who thresh'd you again ;f 
 
 The truest of Agents, no art could mislead 
 
 To act a bad part or neglect a good deed— 
 
 Of his own " country's glory, the measure could fill," , 
 
 And hold to his purpose with true iron will, 
 
 Who ne'er for himself, but his country e'er felt — 
 
 This man of the people — was the son oj a Celt 1 
 
 * « -s?- * * « * 
 
 There 's a " lord of creation" — of course all his own ; 
 There 's a great sympathizer, with heart like a stone ; 
 There 's a " master of seas," who sees far away 
 Oppression too dire for endurance a day, 
 But who never can find in his own neighborhood, 
 The slightest existence of aught that 's not good.(c?) 
 
 * The loss of life on the Mississippi, by violent means, has 
 probably been greater than that on any other river, with the 
 exception perhaps, of the Nile. 
 
 f Some years ago, the Jackson party were called icliole liog 
 men ; and Jackson himself had the credit of being the 
 first ivTiole liog man in the nation. Why it was that the 
 General was thus honored, I am unable to tell, unless it were 
 because he was death on Packen [ing) ham. 
 
.16 
 
 This nice, modest man, this quiet John Bull, 
 
 Like a bear at the hive of the bees must hard pull, 
 
 Till o'er " Beauty and Booty" he'll trample outright ; 
 
 Till he '11 seem to all gazers a lion at sight. 
 
 To boasting, at home he was never addicted ; 
 
 He ne'er spoke a word unless truth were depicted : — 
 
 Could teach his good cousin, the gay Jean Crapaud, 
 
 To spin round an hour on each big toe ; 
 
 And giving a skip o'er the dwarf Pyrenees, 
 
 He 'd " lecture" the senors thus wise, at his ease : 
 
 " Ye mongrels of ages that long since have passed ; 
 Ye shoots of old Carthage, that northward were cast ; 
 Ye Eomans, ye Yandals or vagabond poor ; 
 Ye wild Yisigoth, ye tame and learn'd Moor ; 
 Ye essence of all ; ye Saxons, in fine. 
 Two centuries back of the present weak line 
 That holds on to power ; — in an age that was dark 
 Ye came into being. The wide spreading spark 
 Of modern effulgence was scarcely yet kindled, 
 And the men of that day to nothing have dwindled 
 "When compared with the heroes of this. I own 
 I call ye the Saxons in self-praise alone. (e) 
 Ye bloody flagg'd hullies that tramp round an ox, 
 Like chips of ring-" science" preparing for knocks ; 
 Ye stick when ye can, though at nothing stick long ; 
 If ye can't stick a torre, ye'll stick in a throng. (/) 
 Ye are anxious to fight ! eh ? I'll give ye a taste ; 
 Come up to time, or I'll knock ye from baste. 
 Hold up your rag, there, ye hairy rag-pickers ! 
 You stick a bull ! boo ! ye are mere hill-stickers I 
 ' Upon your dominions the sun never sets,'((7) 
 But rises and rises till to zenith he gets, 
 And then he sweeps round, being always in view, 
 Till he finds the first point — then commences anew ! 
 
 Ye thus make a story that sounds very well ; 
 
 But a different sort of a truth I must tell : 
 
 * On your lands no sun sets ;' on all mine he ne'er rises ; 
 
 For take them together, no myriad comprises 
 
 The half or their number ; while some are so distant 
 
 His rays never reach them. For an orb as assistant 
 
 In casting more light, I 'd thought of applying, 
 
 And had matters ready, when, old Newton dying, 
 
 The thing was abandon'd, at least till some Sol 
 
 Of the system called Astral, shall near to us roll l" 
 
11 
 
 Sir Oracle ^s done ; with a strut and a swell 
 
 He bids Don Eodrigo a patron's farewell ; 
 
 And making right straight 'cross the ancients' mid-earth, 
 
 He comes to the land where the Caesars had birth ; 
 
 Here spreading his figure, and spitting forthwith, 
 
 He utters grand sayings of which here's the pith : 
 
 " Ye sons of the South that's always so sunny ; 
 
 Ye bandits who claim one's life or his money, 
 
 Ye grinders or winders, or roving rascallions, 
 
 Organizers and artists, or squalling Italians, 
 
 Are poor in your line ; I'll do things much better ; 
 
 Discard your solfege, and sing all by letter ; 
 
 Your sol and your la, your si do re mi, 
 
 Must be changed to G A, B C D E ; 
 
 "While /a must be F, for so I have wrote, 
 
 Each sign must be changed to the name of a note." {h) 
 
 Though John's tongue is harsh (but strong and expressive.) 
 
 Though complex his vowels, (i) his consonants excessive, (y) 
 
 He " counts on" his singing and vocal effusions, 
 
 And wonders how long there can be delusions 
 
 In matters so plain, though requiring some ivind, 
 
 Or puffing and blowing, as felt with Miss Lind. 
 
 Though a nation of keepers, of trade-driving shops, 
 
 In attention to which he never once stops. 
 
 Yet he makes it appear on his day-book and journal, 
 
 He could play the old gent, from the regions infernal. 
 
 As he sticks round his counter, like flesh round a joint, 
 
 Of course he 's a master of true counter-point. 
 
 That Austrian jackal that steals what it can. 
 
 Without courage to conquer or forethought to plan ; 
 
 That scourge of the Hun and ferave Lombard nation, 
 
 He '11 'pass in its acts of force-annexation. (/l-) 
 
 Grim Russians he'll teach, in omniscient talk. 
 
 To slide down ice-hills at a moderate walk ! 
 
 And reaching great Fred, from much greater Peter, 
 
 He '11 show rigid Fritz, in very short metre. 
 
 How men should be drill'd, prepared for alarms. 
 
 And taught to sleep soundly on top of stack'd arms ! 
 
 *' Old Schnapps," he will say to jolly Mynheer, 
 
 " You're a worn-out beer-barrel, I'm a barrel of beer." 
 
 Then swimming two seas, (of feats he 's done greater,) 
 
 He '11 show the green Murphys he's no common-tatur {tor ;) 
 
 Hand hopenink 'is hyes hon han 'eap hof hold Paddies, 
 
 He '11 prove in " rich brogue" he is all of their daddies. (/) 
 
 Here strolling around through this still-house of blarney, 
 
 With a gulp he'll dry up those goose ponds Killarney. 
 
 Turning north towards the ocean, he '11 earnestly say, 
 
 He is going to cross on the Giant's Causeway. 
 
 2 
 
18 
 
 S'nould a storm then arise, " to flinders" he'll knock it, 
 
 And give it " great shakes" with a Congreve rocket ;(m) 
 
 A whirlwind he '11 stop with a Chinaman's fan, 
 
 And bale out th' Atlantic with a common tin-pan ! 
 
 Arrived on your shore, he 'il take a look round, 
 
 To see what on earth in such country is found ! 
 
 Nothing, he fancies, save gawky, big trees, 
 
 Too lazy to move with any known breeze, 
 
 Kept standing in rows, he 's made up his mind,^ 
 
 On purpose that Yankees may shoot from behind.(ri) 
 
 The best of your thunder he '11 barrel to send, 
 
 For theatrical use, to an intimate friend. 
 
 Your cataract he '11 clear, on a bit of a raft. 
 
 And swallow your lakes at a single good draught. 
 
 Your prairies he '11 leap as a bundle of straw. 
 
 And find himself landed in Mormon Utah, (o) 
 
 The Equator now flatten with the Northern Pole, 
 
 And in a torpedo all Christendom roll ; 
 
 The Andes then sink to the Dead Sea's level,^ 
 
 And touch off the globe in a fizzing spit-devil. 
 
 45- ***** * 
 
 The Gulf now appears, with its face not of dough ;t 
 
 Its swel(l)tering air, and " Know Nothing" of snow ; 
 
 Its violent tempests ; its absence of tides ; 
 
 Its seasons of sickness, to those at its sides. 
 
 'Tis a vast throbbing heart of a gigantic ocean, (_p) 
 
 That 's giving out life by its unceasing motion. 
 
 Arrived at this point. Miss Issippi enquires, 
 
 " Is there aught we can do, (if it meet your desires,) 
 
 * Thirteen hundred feet below the surface of the Mediter- 
 ranean Sea. 
 
 t I have never been able to see the force or appropriate- 
 ness of the term, "dough faces." When John Eandolph 
 first made use of it, he probably meant deux faces ; that is, 
 Congressmen with two faces : one for their constituents, and 
 another when they met the southern members in the House 
 of Representatives. But, as the speech of Mr. Randolph 
 was heard by some reporters who didn't understand French, 
 they spelled the word as he pronounced it, and the senseless 
 thing has been a pet ever since. I can understand very well 
 how an individual may be a dough-man ; that is, one who 
 looks as if he had been rolled into a column, placed upon his 
 base, and then stricken violently upon his apex. Gen. Z. T. 
 was a man of this appearance. But a dough face, has not 
 even the meaning of a wrij[e) face. 
 
19 
 
 Of any known good ? To this vast heated sea, 
 
 We 've brought our cool waters. Then why cannot we, 
 
 Take directly herefrom to much colder parts, 
 
 These oft boiling floods, and with stout willing hearts, 
 
 Endeavor to temper the frigid condition 
 
 Of regions of ice, in unfavor'd position ? 
 
 Ah ! fortunate thought ; and then my dear friends, 
 
 I've promised fond Lawrence,' as his course this way tends, 
 
 To meet him once more. So come on, dear sisters, 
 
 Priz'd friends, and good neighbors ; with northern misters, 
 
 I wish you at once to be fully acquainted." 
 
 Miss Ouri replies : " for the picture you've painted 
 
 Of how things may be, many thanks please accept ; 
 
 Though in matters like this, I am no adept, 
 
 I can easily foresee, we'll form round this land, 
 
 A girdle of interests as strong as 'tis grand. 
 
 And, as to your offered much closer connection, 
 
 You may rest quite assured, we '11 have no objection. 
 
 But, how is this, sister, old forms are so altered, 
 
 And people so chang'd, who ne'er before faltered : — 
 
 'Tis not canonic for true saints to marry." 
 
 " But every girl does not meet with a Larry." 
 
 " That's certainly true, and I hope only this — 
 
 That every Larry may meet with a Miss. 
 
 But excuse me, dear sister, I'm given to prating." 
 
 " Let 's hurry, then Ouri — Lawrence will he waiting.'^ 
 
 Onward they go, in the course most direct. 
 
 And clear the Tortugas, where many are wreck'd. 
 
 The Florida Keef with its numerous isles, 
 
 Is passed very soon in the gayest of styles ; 
 
 Then Canaveral, with its shore full of canes, 
 
 Its ever green back-ground, where solitude reigus, 
 
 Disappears to the south ; while Cape Fear is nigb. 
 
 Is quickly approached, and unheeded swept by ; 
 
 Then Look Out appears ; but scarce is it seen, 
 
 Ere it vanishes wholly, as if right between 
 
 Two hills it had sunken. Still onward they wind ; 
 
 Hatteras peers out, but is soon left behind. 
 
 In the wake is Nantucket. On still they fly fast, 
 
 As if e'en forever. Sable Island is pass'd ; 
 
 Three thousand odd miles are swimmingly made. 
 
 And not from the true line has any one strayed ; 
 
 When, ho ! to the leeward, but all in their might, 
 
 St. Lawrence and comp'ny heave fully in sight. 
 
 The long separated are quickly united, 
 
 And a troth is redeem'd that early was plighted. 
 
20 
 
 Then like the first circles, for grim fashion's sake, 
 A voyage to Europe, the party must take. 
 
 The marriage of ancestors thus taking place, 
 
 It is a misnomer, as seen on its face, 
 
 The Father of Elvers, Miss Issippi to call ; 
 
 She's the Mother of Streams, and the Parent of all 
 
 Born in the Great Yalley ; while the Fountain of Torrents, 
 
 The Fathers of Waters, is the mighty St. Lawrence. 
 
APPENDIX 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 (a) ^'As instruments say, — on Norman talk founded^ 
 
 •' Norman commissioners went over tlie whole extent of 
 country in which the army had left garrisons ; they took an 
 exact inventory of property of every kind, public and private ; 
 for the Noi'man nation, even in those remote times, (1066) 
 was extremely fond of deeds, and documents, and law forms." 
 — Thierry History of the Co7iquest of England hy the Nor- 
 mans. Vol. I,j3. 190. 
 
 (6) " On the south by the chain, on the east by the vine^ 
 
 One hundred years ago, France claimed and possessed 
 the immense region north of the St. Lawrence, stretching 
 from ocean to ocean. And about sixty years ago, a great 
 portion of that vast area west of the Mississippi, was also 
 hers. In 1802, Bonaparte, having no hope of regaining 
 Egypt, was anxious to have colonial possessions in America. 
 He therefore gave Etruria to Spain, for Louisiana ; and 
 offered to give the Duchy of Parma for Florida. But the 
 treaty of peace between England and France having been 
 broken by the refusal of the English to evacuate Malta, and 
 hostilities about to commence, he needed funds to carry on the 
 war. Accordingly, he sold Louisiana in 1803, with all its buried 
 treasures, its mountains of wealth, and its almost countless 
 acres of fertile soil, to (it is scarcely necessary to say, because 
 so well known) that great artisan of freedom. President 
 Jefferson, for the paltry (comparatively) sum of eighty mil- 
 lions of francs. The balance of the territory west of the 
 Mississippi, was purchased and acquired during the adminis- 
 trations of John Tyler and James K. Polk, to both of whom 
 posterity will some day award the justice due to them. 
 
22 
 
 (c) "Ev'ry one icTio comes not from your off-conqiier'd isle." 
 
 In the last conquest, no country in Christendom, and 
 scarcely excepting Mexico in Pagandom, was ever more 
 thoroughly sulDdued than was England, by the Normans. In 
 confirmation of this declaration, I will quote at some length 
 from the able and here scarcely known work of one of the 
 most learned and talented men of this age, Augvstin Thierry. 
 "■ Upon both banks of the Humber, the cavalry of the foreign 
 king, his counts, his bailiffs, could for the future freely travel 
 on the roads and through the towns. Famine, the faithful 
 companion of conquest, followed their steps ; in the year 1067, 
 it had already desolated the counties which had been in- 
 vaded; in 1070, it extended over all England, manifesting 
 itself in its utmost horrors in the newly conquered districts. 
 The inhabitants of Yorkshire and of the territory further 
 north, after feeding on the flesh of the dead horses left by the 
 Norman army on their way, ate human flesh. More than an 
 hundred thousand persons, of all ages, perished of famine in 
 this district. ' It was a frightful spectacle,' says an old annal- 
 ist, 'to behold, in the roads and streets, at the doors of 
 houses, human bodies devoured by the worms, for none 
 remained to scatter a little earth over them, all being de- 
 stroyed by famine or the sword.' This distress was felt only 
 by the natives ; the foreign soldier lived in plenty; for him, 
 in the heart of his fortresses, there were vast stores of pro- 
 visions, and more was sent him from abroad, in return for the 
 gold wrung from the English. Moreover, famine aided him 
 entirely to quell the conquered; often, for the remains of the 
 repast of a groom in the Norman army, the xSaxon, once 
 illustrious among his countrymen, in order to sustain his 
 miserable life, came to sell himself and his whole family to 
 perpetual slavery. The act of sale was registered upon the 
 blank page of some missal, [mass-book] where may still be 
 found, half effaced, and serving as a theme for the sagacity 
 of the antiquaries, these monuments of the wretchedness of a 
 by-gone period. 
 
 " The territory on both sides of the Humber, devasted as it 
 lay, was petitioned out among the conquerors wnth the same 
 order which had regulated the divisions of the southern 
 counties. Several allotments were drawn out of the houses, 
 or rather the ruins of York ; for, in the two sieges which this 
 city had suffered, it was so devastated that several centuries 
 afterwards, the foundations of the ancient suburbs were still 
 seen in the open country, more than a mile distant. King 
 William appropriated the greater number of the houses 
 which remained standing ; the Norman chiefs shared the rest, 
 with the churches, shops, and even the butchers' stalls, which 
 they then let out. William de Warrene had twenty-eight 
 
23 
 
 Tillages in Yorkshire alone, and William de Percy more than 
 eighty manors. Most of these domains, in the list drawn up 
 fifteen years after, had for their description these simple 
 words : loasie land. A property which, in the time of King 
 Edward, (ten years before) had produced sixty pounds rent, 
 produced less than five in the hands of its foreign possessor; 
 and upon a domain in which two Englishmen of rank had 
 lived at their ease, there were found after the conquest, only 
 two wretched serfs, scarce able to render their Norman lord, a 
 tenth of the revenue of the ancient free cultivators." — 
 Thierry's Norman Conquest, Yol. 1, pp. 226, 227. 
 
 "The whole country of the Anglo-Saxons was conquered, 
 from the Tweed to Cape Cornwall, from the English Channel 
 to the Severn ; and the conquered population was overrun in 
 every direction by the army of the conquerors. There were 
 no longer any free provinces, no longer masses of men in 
 military organization; there were only a few scattered 
 remains of the defeated armies and garrisons, soldiers who 
 had no chiefs, chiefs without followers. War was now con- 
 tinned against them in the form of individual persecution ; 
 the most prominent were tried and condemned with some 
 show of form ; the remainder were handed over to the discre- 
 tion- of the foreign soldiers, who made them serfs on their 
 domains, or massacred them, with circumstances which an 
 ancient historian declines to detail, as incredible and mon- 
 strous to relate. Those who retained any means of emigra- 
 tion, proceeded to the ports of Wales or Scotland, and 
 embarked thence, as the old annals express it, to carry their 
 grief and misery through foreign lands. Denmark, Norway, 
 and the countries where the Teutonic language was spoken, 
 were generally the goal of these emigrations; but English 
 fugitives were also seen journeying to the south, and soliciting 
 an asylum among nations of an entirely difi'erent language."— 
 
 Vol. 1, p. 239. ^ .. ^ .t, 
 
 ♦'The men had to undergo indigence and servitude; the 
 women, insult and outrage, more cruel than death itself. 
 Those who were not taken j^cir marriage, were taken par 
 amours, as it was termed in the language of the conquerors, 
 and became the playthings of the foreign soldiers, the least 
 and lowest of whom was lord and master in the house of the 
 conquered. These licentious knaves were amazed at them- 
 selves ; they went mad with pride and astonishment at 
 beholding themselves so powerful; at having servants richer 
 than their own fathers had ever been. Whatever they 
 willed, they deemed it fully permissible to do; they shed 
 blood at random, tore the bread from the mouths of the 
 wretched people, and took everything— money, goods, land.' 
 ^Vol.l, p. 193. 
 
24 
 
 " Men who liad crossed the sea in the quilted frocks and 
 with the dark wooden bow of foot soldiers, appeared upon 
 war-horses and girded with the knightly baldric, to the eyes 
 of the new recruits who crossed the sea after them. He who 
 had come over a poor knight, soon had his own banner and 
 his company of men-at-arms, whose rallying cry was his name. 
 The drovers of Normandy and weavers of Flanders, with a 
 little courage and good fortune, soon became in England 
 great men, illustrious barons; and their names, base or 
 obscure on one side of the Channel, were noble and glorious 
 on the other."— FoZ. 1, p.l91. 
 
 "The mere valet of the Norman man-at-arms, his groom, 
 his lance-bearer, became gentlemen on the soil of England ; 
 they were all at once nobles by the side of the Saxon, once 
 rich and noble himself, but now bending beneath the sword 
 of the foreigner — driven from the home of his ancestors, 
 having no where to lay his head. This natural and general 
 nobility of all the conquerors at large, increased in proportion 
 to the personal authority, or importance of individuals. After 
 the nobility of the Norman king, came that of the provincial 
 governor, who assumed the title of count or earl ; after the 
 nobility of the count, came that of his lieutenant, called vice- 
 count, or viscount; and then that of the warriors, according 
 to their grade, barons, chevaliers, ecuyers, or sergents, not 
 equally noble, but all nobles by right of their common victory 
 and their foreign birth." — Vol. 1, p. 198. 
 
 "Whilst this display was made on one side the Channel, 
 on the other, the insolence of the conquerors was deeply felt 
 by the conquered. The chiefs who governed the subjected 
 provinces, outvied each other in oppressing the natives, the 
 people of rank equally with the commons, by exactions, 
 tyranny, and outrage. Bishop Eudes and Fitz-Osbern, in- 
 flated with their new power, scorned the complaints of the 
 oppressed people, and refused all remedy ; if their soldiers 
 pillaged the houses or violated the wives of the English, they 
 applauded them, and punished the unfortunate sufferers who 
 dared to complain. — Vol. 1, p. 200. 
 
 " The country was kept in a state of perpetual terror. To 
 the danger of perishing by the sword of the foreigner, who 
 thought himself a demi-god among brutes, who understood 
 neither prayer nor explanation, nor excuse proffered him in 
 the tongue of the conquered, was added that of being regarded 
 as a traitor or a luke-warm patriot by the free Saxons, 
 [outlaws] frantic with despair as the Normans were with 
 pride. Thus no man dared to walk alone, even on his 
 own grounds around his own house ; the abode of every 
 Englishman who had sworn peace and given hostages to the 
 conqueror, was closed and fortified like a town in a state of 
 
25 
 
 siege. It was filled with weapons of every description, bows 
 and arrows, axes, maces, poniards, and iron forks ; the doors 
 were furnished with bolts and bars. When the hour of rest 
 arrived, at the moment of closing up everything, the head of 
 the family rose and repeated aloud the prayers which were 
 said at sea on the approach of a storm ; he concluded thus : 
 • The Lord bless us and help us ;' and all present answered 
 Jinen. This custom subsisted in England for more than two 
 centuries after the conquest." — Vol 1, p. 242. 
 
 "Ivo Taille-Bois settled in this place ;' (Spalding,) he 
 became for the farmers of the ancient domain what, in the 
 Saxon language, was called the liloford, and, by contraction, 
 the lord of the land. This name ordinarily signified loaf-giver, 
 distributor of bread, and in old England designated the head 
 of a large house, him whose table fed many men. But other 
 ideas — ideas of dominion and servitude — were substituted for 
 this honorable signification, when the men of the conquest 
 received from the natives the title of lords. The foreign lord 
 was a master ; the inhabitants of the domain trembled in his 
 presence, and approached with terror his manor, or hall, as 
 the Saxons called it ; an abode once hospitable, whose door 
 was ever open, whose fire ever lit ; but now fortified, walled, 
 embattled, garrisoned with men-at-arms and soldiers, at once 
 a citadel for the master and a prison for the neighborhood." 
 — Vol. 1, p. 261. 
 
 "Some of the dispossessed Saxons ventured to present 
 themselves before the commissioners of inquiry to set forth 
 their claims ; many of these are registered, couched in terms 
 of humble supplication that no Norman employed. These 
 men declared themselves poor and miserable ; they appealed 
 to the clemency and compassion of the king. Those who, by 
 the most abject servility, succeeded in preserving some slight 
 portion of their paternal inheritance, were obliged to pay for 
 this favor with degrading or fantastic services, or received it 
 under the no less humiliating title of alms. Sons are in- 
 scribed in the roll as holding the property of their fathers hy 
 alms. Free women retain their field as alms. One woman 
 preserves her husband's lands on condition of feeding the 
 king's dogs. A mother and her son receive their own pro- 
 perty, in gift, on condition of each day saying prayers for the 
 soul of Richard, the King's son.'' — Vol. 1, p. 307. 
 
 "William ordered," says a contemporary chronicle, "that 
 whoever should kill a stag or a hind, should have his eyes 
 picked out ; the protection given to stags, extended also to 
 wild boars ; and he even made statutes to secure hares from 
 all danger. These laws vigorously enforced against the 
 Saxons, greatly increased their misery, for many of them had 
 no means of subsistence but the chase. The poor murmured, 
 adds the chronicle, but he made no account for their ill-will| 
 
26 
 
 and tliey were fain to obey under pain of death." — Vol. 1, 
 p. 308. 
 
 " Travellers of the fourteenth century, express their aston- 
 ishment at the multitude of serfs they saw in England, and 
 at the extreme hardness of their condition in that country, 
 compared with what it was on the continent, and even in 
 France. The word bondage conveyed, at this period, the last 
 degree of social misery ; yet this word, to which the conquest 
 had communicated such a meaning, was merely a simple 
 derivation from the Anglo-Danish bond, which, before the 
 invasion of the Normans, signified a free cultivator and father 
 of a family living in the country ; and it is in this sense that 
 it was joined with the Saxon word hus, to indicate the head 
 of a house, husbond, or husband, in modern English ortho- 
 graphy. 
 
 " Towards the year 1381, all those in England who were 
 called bonds, that is to say, all the cultivators were serfs of 
 body and goods, obliged to pay heavy aids for the small 
 portion of land which supported their family, and unable to 
 quit this portion of land without the consent of the lords, 
 whose tillage, gardening, and cartage of every kind, they were 
 compelled to perform gratuitously. The lord might sell them 
 with their house, their oxen, their tools, their children and 
 their posterity, as is thus expressed in the deeds : ' Know that 
 I have sold such a one, my naif, {nativum meum,) and all his 
 progeny, born or to be born.' Kesentment of the misery 
 caused by the oppression of the noble families, combined with 
 an almost entire oblivion of the events which had elevated 
 these families, whose members no longer distinguished them- 
 selves by the name of Normans, but by the term gentlemen, 
 had led the peasants of England to contemplate the idea of 
 the injustice of servitude in itself, independently of its his- 
 torical origin," — Vol. 2, p. 369. 
 
 " Fresh bands of Brabangon soldiers, hired by one or the 
 other of the two rival parties, (King Stephen and Queen 
 Matilda,) came v^ith arms and baggage by different ports and 
 various roads, to the rendezvous respectively assigned by the 
 King and by Matilda, each side promising them the lands of 
 the opposite faction as pay. To meet the expenses of this 
 civil war, the Anglo-Normans sold their domains, their vil- 
 lages and their towns, in England, with their inhabitants, body 
 and goods. Many made incursions upon the domains of their 
 adversaries, and carried off horses, oxen, sheep, and the men 
 of English race, who were seized even in towns, and taken 
 away, bound back to back." — Vol. 2, p. 22. 
 
 '"Every rich man,' says the Saxon chronicle, 'built 
 castles and defended them against all, and they filled the land 
 full of castles. They greatly oppressed the wretched people, 
 
2T 
 
 by maldno' them work at these castles, and when the castles 
 were finished, they filled them with evil men. Then they 
 took those whom they suspected to have any goods by 
 nio-ht and by day, seizing both men and women, and put them 
 in° prison for their gold and silver, and tortured them with 
 pains unspeakable, for never were any martyrs tormented as 
 these were. They hung some up by their feet, and smoked 
 them with foul smoke ; some by their thumbs, or by the head, 
 and they hung burning things on their feet. They put a 
 knotted string about their heads, and writhed it till it went 
 into the brain. They put them into dungeons wherein were 
 adders, and snakes, and toads, and thus wore them out. 
 Some they put into a crucet-house, that is, into a chest that 
 was short and narrow, and not deep ; and they put sharp stones 
 in it, and crushed the man therein, so that they broke all his 
 
 limbs. , , , 1 1 i.i 
 
 ' " Then was corn dear, and flesh, and cheese, and butter, 
 for there was none in the land. Wretched men starved with 
 huno-er ; some lived on alms, who had been ere while rich ; 
 some fled the country; never was there more misery, and 
 never acted heathens worse than these. At length they 
 spared neither church nor churchyard, but they took all that 
 w^as valuable therein, and then burned the church and all 
 too-ether Neither did they spare the lands of bishops, nor 
 oflibbotts, nor of priests, but they robbed the monks and the 
 clergy, and every man plundered his neighbor as much as he 
 mio'lt. If two or three men came riding to a town, all the 
 township fled before them, and thought that they were rob- 
 bers. The earth bare no corn ; you might as well have tilled 
 the sea, for the land was all ruined by such deeds, and it was 
 openly said that Christ and his saints slept.' 
 
 "The greatest terror prevailed in the environs of Bristol, 
 where the empress Matilda and her Angevins had established 
 their head-quarters. All day long, men were brought into 
 the city, bound and gagged with a piece of wood or iron bit. 
 Troops of disguised soldiers were constantly leaving the 
 castle, who, concealing their arms and language, attired in 
 the Eno-lish habit, spread through the town and neighborhood, 
 mino-ling with the crowd in- the markets and streets, and 
 thei^, suddenly seizing those whose appearance denoted easy 
 circumstances, carried them off to their quarters and put 
 them to ransom."— FoZ. 2, pp. 23, 24. - 
 
 " If, retracing in his own mind, the facts he has read, the 
 reader would form to himself a just idea of what was the 
 England conquered by William of Normandy, he must repre- 
 sent to himself, not a mere change of government, nor the 
 triumph of one competitor over another, but the intrusion of 
 a whole people into the bosom of another people, broken up 
 
28 
 
 by the former, and the scattered fragments of which were 
 only admitted into the new social order as personal property, 
 as clothing of the earthy to speak the language of the ancient 
 acts. We must not place on one side, William, king and 
 despot, and on the other, subjects high or low, rich or poor, 
 all inhabitants of England, and consequently all English ; we 
 must imagine two nations, the English by origin and the 
 English by invasion, divided on the surface of the same 
 country ; or rather imagine two countries in a far different 
 condition : the land of the Normans, rich and free from taxes, 
 that of the Saxons, poor, dependent, and oppressed with 
 burdens ; the first adorned with vast mansions, with walled 
 and embattled castles ; the second, sprinkled with thatched 
 cabins or half-ruined huts; that peopled with happy, idle 
 people, warriors and courtiers, nobles and knights ; this inhabi- 
 ted by men of toil and sorrow, farm laborers and mechanics ; 
 on the one side, luxury and insolence ; upon the other, misery 
 and envy, not the envy of the poor at sight of the riches of 
 others, but the envy of the despoiled in the presence of their 
 
 Lastly, to complete the picture, these two countries in a 
 manner are entwined one in the other ; they touch each other 
 at every point, and yet they are more distant than if the sea 
 rolled between them. Each has its separate idiom, an idiom 
 foreign to the other ; the French is the language of the court, 
 of the castles, of the rich abbeys, of all places where power 
 and luxury reign ; the ancient language of the land is" con- 
 fined to the hearth of the poor, of the serf. Long, from gene- 
 ration to generation, did these two idioms continue to subsist 
 without mixing with each other, remaining the one the token 
 of nobility, the other the token of base estate. — Vol. 1, p. 
 324. 
 
 {d) " Who never can find in his oivn neighhorliood, 
 The slightest existence of aught that's not good. '^ 
 
 It is strange, but nevertheless true, that human nature, all 
 over the world, can always see great misery and oppression at 
 a distance, but never any at home. Thus the inhabitant of 
 the New England States sees the wrong and suffering of the 
 down-trodden in the Gulf States, standing forth in the most 
 revolting shape ; while he by whom the evil is surrounded, 
 perceives none of its deformities, sees no sin in its continu- 
 ance. The inhabitant of Texas and Louisiana cries aloud in 
 horror at the degraded and enslaved condition of the opera- 
 tives of the factories of Maine and Massachusetts ; while he 
 who dwells in the midst of the system of oppression, sees no 
 wrong in its workings, no misfortune in its results. The bene- 
 volent feelings of the ladies of England are excited to the 
 
29 
 
 liighest pi^ch, by the deplorable sufferings of the poor black 
 slaves of America ; and meetings, headed by the Duchess of 
 Sutherland, and seconded by other eminent shoots of the 
 nobility, are held to express sympathy, and extend aid to- 
 ward the wretched, wronged, and brutally-treated blacks ; 
 while within a very diminished circle of their own palaces, 
 exists a degree of mental woe and physical want wholly un- 
 equalled by any felt by those on whom all their pity is centred. 
 The citizens of the United States have their sympathies 
 aroused, by the wrongs of the Irish nation in the union with. 
 England ; and associations are formed and funds collected by 
 them to have this union repealed ; while the subjects of an 
 adjoining isle, living under the same government with the 
 aggrieved, direct witnesses of the operations of the contri- 
 vance, perceive none of its mischiefs. The Christian people 
 of America, send missionaries and large amounts of money 
 to convert and benefit the heathen, in the far interior of 
 their own country, in the middle of Asia, in the west, and 
 south and centre of Africa, and in various parts of the 
 islands of the Pacific ; and yet, just around the corners of 
 their own dwellings, may be found degradation, want, and 
 irreligion, surpassing any in heathendom. 
 
 (e) " I call ye the Saxons in self-praise alone." 
 
 Somebody, in great liberality of feeling, has recently called 
 the Spaniards "the Anglo-Saxons of the sixteenth century." 
 This name, however, was probably given, more to reflect the 
 glory of that period on the Saxons of the present time, than 
 to do honor to the then chief nation of the civilized world. 
 In some respects, Britain and Spain are not unlike. Both 
 have been frequently overrun, and in part conquered. Both 
 have found their salvation in their mountains, while their 
 plains and lowlands were lost beyond the hope of recovery. 
 Both are made up of the vanquisher and the vanquished — the 
 fragments of nations blended together ; their very bit-like 
 composition being the chief cause of their great strength. In 
 our own skulls, the greatest tenacity results from the com- 
 bining of many bones in one. In language, the principle of 
 one from many prevails, and the English having been made 
 up of almost all, (like our own body, from all animals beneath 
 it.) is, consequently, in its etymology and in its syntax, supe- 
 rior to any other. In mechanics, when numerous pieces of 
 iron are riveted together at their edges, greater strength is 
 secured than when one plate only is used. So in nations, 
 when many are welded together, the bepatched whole is 
 firmer and stronger than the unpieced one. But all the 
 pieces must be of good quality. It will not do to use inferior 
 
30 
 
 metal ; for should it be, the whole body will be degraded. A 
 mixing of superior branches of the same race, will produce 
 an improved offspring ; but a union of superior and inferior 
 races, will beget a degenerate succession. This is exemplified 
 in numerous cases, and in none more than in that of the Spa- 
 nish nation. While the various branches of the Caucasian 
 race commingled, their offspring improved; but when these 
 same branches mixed with the Indian race, as in South Ame- 
 rica and Mexico, degeneracy followed. And when the law 
 of progression was further violated in the admixture of the 
 white race and the black, a greater decline in the scale of 
 humanity succeeded ; and nature, as if determined that this 
 decline should not continue without limit, interposed, and 
 offered up a hybrid to her violated laws. No people knew 
 this better than did the Spaniards ; for when this retrograded 
 mass of flesh was ushered into being, they stamped it with the 
 title of mulato. These are the mules of human kind, that 
 cease to breed in a few generations, if not renewed by vivifi- 
 cation from either the white or the black race. 
 
 (/) " Ify^ can't uticJc a iorre, ye'll stick in a throng." 
 
 A short time since, a party of Spaniards went into a low 
 tavern in New York city, and while the male and female in- 
 mates thereof were enjoying themselves in dancing, com- 
 menced an indiscriminate cutting and stabbing with knives, 
 from which amusement they did not desist until they had 
 wounded and killed some five or six persons. 
 
 [g) " Upon your dominions the sun never sets" 
 
 This phrase, though it is now an English boast, was origi- 
 nally applied to the King (then Emperor) of Spain, whose 
 possessions in all quarters of the globe gave it force and 
 propriety. Under Charles Y., Spain was the mightiest power 
 of Christendom. And so early as 1639, a British author 
 (Burton) makes use of the quotation as one long in common 
 use in England. 
 
 {h) " Each sign must he changed to the name of a note." 
 
 Perhaps in nothing do the English render themselves more 
 ridiculous than in their pretensions to a superior knowledge 
 in music. They certainly know less of this than of any other 
 of the fine arts. They have never produced a composer of 
 any eminence whatever. And yet they pompously put forth 
 treatise after treatise, in which they pretend to explain the 
 whole science, and even to instruct nations with whom it has 
 been a life-study for ages. 
 
31 
 
 (/) " Thbugli complex his vowels" 
 
 The nations of Southern Europe have no i and no u as we 
 pronounce them, and for the best reason in the world — these 
 are not simple sounds, but compound ones, and consequently 
 no vowels. Our i is compounded of their a (ah) and i (ee) ; 
 and our u of their i (ee) and u (oo) ; while our w is formed by 
 putting the word "double" before their i and m; and our y 
 by combining their u a i in one. 
 
 {j) '* His consonants excessive^* 
 This refers particularly to words that have a northern ori- 
 gin ; such as through, bough, rough, drought, draught, naught, 
 mouth, JcnigJit, which, and the like. 
 
 (k) E'ell pass in its acts of force-annexation." 
 
 True, as the millions of India, crushed in peace and slaugh- 
 tered in war, can amply testify. 
 
 {I) "He'll prove in rich brogue he is all of their daddies.'' 
 
 " The rich Irish brogue and sweet German accent."— Hasty 
 plate of soup. 
 
 (7w) " And give it ^ great shakes' with a Congreve rocket.'^ 
 
 " The commanders of the British army, when before New 
 Orleans, seem to have thought that it was necessary only to 
 send up a few rockets of a kind unknown to the invaded na- 
 tion, to secure to them the city. Their divisions accordingly 
 advanced, with the utmost confidence, under a discharge of 
 these engines of terror, and were not a little surprised to find 
 the Americans standing firm, and even cheering at their near 
 approach." — Eaton's Life of Jackson. 
 
 {n) " On purpose that Yankees may shoot from behind.'* 
 
 It is the general opinion that a great many cotton bales 
 were used in the erection of the fortifications for the defence 
 of New Orleans ; yet I have heard Major Devezac, aid-de- 
 camp to General Jackson at that great battle, a brave soldier, 
 a scholar, and a man of veracity, frequently declare, in the 
 most emphatic manner, "that there was not a single bale 
 there." 
 
 (o) " And find himself landed in Mormon Utah." 
 
 The proportion of English amongst the Mormons is said to 
 be more than three to one of any other nation, and more than 
 two to one of all others combined. 
 
32 
 
 {p) " 'Tis a vast throbbing heart of a gigantic ocean." 
 
 Whoever will examine carefully the map of North 
 America will be struck with the remarkable resemblance 
 which the Caribbean Sea and Gulf of Mexico bear to 
 the human heart : The Caribbean Sea (with a little transpo- 
 sition) appears as the right auricle and right ventricle ; and 
 the Gulf as the left auricle and left ventricle. The right 
 auricle, that is, the portion east of Jamaica, and south of 
 Hayti and Dominica, contracts (let us suppose) and drives its 
 waters into the right ventricle, (the portion south of Cuba, 
 and east of Yucatan and Guataraala), which again contracts 
 and drives its waters through the strait (the pulmonary artery) 
 between Cuba and Yucatan, to the mouth of the Mississippi 
 and Rio Grande, which, like the air in the lungs, renew and 
 vitalize it. Thence it is driven into the left ventricle, which, 
 in its turn, drives it into the aorta, (the Gulf Stream,) whence 
 it is ramified through the various channels of the ocean's sys- 
 tem, passing north along the eastern coast of the United 
 States to the British possessions, where it turns to the east 
 and south, and crosses to the western coast of Europe. 
 Thence it takes a south-westerly course, passes on by the 
 Azores and Canary Islands to the Cape de Verdes ; at which 
 latter point it turns west, and after passing in this direction 
 for some distance, again enters the Caribbean Sea. 
 
GI-PIB-A.T XJ:MI01Sr I^OEIS^- 
 
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 SI. UWRINCE m MISS ISSIPPI. 
 
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 KING k r^ATT^D, r,07 RANSOM STPvEET. 
 
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