PS 3503 ■ R53 R4 1915 > PLAYS EXCHANGED. c w . \ker'3 Edition ~» 6T PL7W,5 A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy Price, 25 Cents JL m« Pinero's Plays Price, 50 Cents €acb THE A M A 7HN^ Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five f e- inJu /\l"liiXi\Jli»J males. Costumes, modern; scenery, not difficult. Plays a full evening. THE CABINET MINISTER SSS, 'aJT'S^gt £? tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening • 1*1 AMITY 1*11 PK" Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- U1\lSU I 1/iviV males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two inte- riors. Plays two hours and a half. TUr PAVI AOn fklTEY Comedy in Four Acts. Four males, InL UAI L\Jl\V ViUEiA ten females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. UIC UAITCI7 IM A I? HEP Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, nld nUUOL 111 UAUJLIV f our females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. THE HARRY UARQE Comedy in Three Acts. Ten males, HIE ni/DDl rll/IVOEi fi V e females. Costumes, modern; scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. IDTC Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, ilVld modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. I ATYY RAITNTIEITI Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven Lii\.U 1 DViUrQ 1 irULi females. Costumes, modern; scen- ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. I ETTY Drama in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five Lil*1 1 I females. Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. Plays a full evening. THE MAflQTR ATE Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, inEi UlnVltf 1 1\/\ I £i four females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. Sent prepaid on receipt of price by Salter & pafeer & Company No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy A Comedy in Three Acts By GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM Author of "Leave it to Polly," "A Regular Scream? "Sally Lunn? "Six Times Nine? "On the Quiet? etc. BOSTON WALTER H. BAKER & CO, 1915 A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy CHARACTERS jry Should be played by boys sixteen and seventeen years old. LeRoy Briggs, captain of football team Sam Bigelow, center Fred Williamson, quarter-back Harold Smith, halfback Philip Ainsworth, sub Dick Colton, sub Russell Sidney } Leonard Fergurson \ Juniors. Stephen Reynolds ) Clayton King, football coach and an instructor in the Academy. Murphy, t?-ainer. Mr. Deane, an instructor. Alexander Norton, manager of the Star Moving Picture The- atre, and originator of Norton s Nervy Novelties. Jimmy Colton, Dick's little brother, a Regular Rah I Rah! Boy. Extra schoolboys and football players for acts two and three. SYNOPSIS Act I. — Colton's room, Milford Academy. November of any year. Act II. — Locker room in the gymnasium. The following Saturday. Act III. — Same as Act I. Evening of the same day. Plays About One Hour and Three-Quarters. Copyright, 1914, by Walter H. Baker & Co. i 0V-7I9I4 GI.D 38734 *-0/ A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy ACT I SCENE. — Colton's room; exits, r. a?id c. (As curtain rises, Leonard Fergurson sits at table writ- ing and whistling very much out of tu?ie. Russell Sid- ney is studying,') Sid. {looking up, very much annoyed). Say, Len, for the love of Pete, does that noise help you to solve your problems ? Ferg. {throwing down his pencil). I believe it does, Rus. I have finished the last one. Sid. Then perhaps you will cease long enough to let me get some of this Greek into my head. Ferg. Delighted to, I am sure. It's a pity, though, that you haven't an ear for music. Sid. I'd say music ! If you struck the right key once in ten measures I wouldn't complain. {Looks at his watch.) Say, it's getting late. Aren't you going to watch the practice at all this afternoon ? Ferg. No. It actually makes me sick to my stomach. Hoslin out ! Mason out ! And the big game right at hand ! We are doomed this year all right. I can't bear to watch the practice any more. Sid. It makes me sicker to watch Phil and Dick both try- ing for Hoslin's place. Ferg. Who do you suppose will win out ? Sid. Dick, I think. Ferg. Well, heaven help him if he does. Phil doesn't like Dick, anyway, and if Dick beats him at this I won't answer for the consequences. Ever notice the expression on Phil's face when he is watching Dick ? Sid. Well, rather. He looks like an Indian. It's a pity for a fellow to have a disposition like that. You never can tell what it will 'lead to, but I honestly believe Phil can't help it. 4 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Ferg. He doesn't try. There's a yellow streak in that fellow. Arid Dick is so unconscious of it all. Sid. Dick ? He thinks every one has sprouted wings or is just about to. But you mustn't be too hard on Phil. He has his good points. Ferg. Well, I'd like to see some of them ! Sid. No, you wouldn't. If you really wanted to see good in him you could. Ferg. Well, of course I don't love him very much. Sid. That doesn't make any difference. You can be just. I never loved Phil any better than you do, but I certainly can see that he has good points. Just look at his standing in his class. Ferg. Oh, I know what his standing is. I didn't say there was anything the matter with his intellect, did I ? Sid. Well, he had to study to gain his standing, and he has to plug to keep it. That certainly is one thing to his credit. And then he (Ferg. grabs up a cover from a couch and wraps it around Sid.'s head.) Ferg. Consider yourself squelched, if you please. If you can't talk about something agreeable you can go back to your own lair. The idea of your coming into my room and Sid. {scornfully, enter gi fig from couch cover). Your room? Ferg. That reminds me ! Dickie isn't going to have this room in single blessedness any longer. Perhaps we shall not be as welcome here to-morrow as we are to-day. Sid. Why ? Some one coming here with Dick ? Ferg. Yes. Didn't he say anything about it? Sid. No. Who is it ? Phil ? They'd make corking chums. Ferg. I don't know who it is. A new fellow. Sid. A new one ? At this time in the season ? I thought that was against the rules. Ferg. It is, but this is an exceptional case. Some fellow whose father graduated from here or something like that. I don't remember exactly what Dick said. Anyway, the fellow is expected to be a member of our class, and if he passes his exams he is to have these rooms with Dick. Sid. How nice ! Ferg. Let us hope so. He will have to be right on top of us all the time. You know how Dick feels about our duty to new fellows. A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 5 Sid. Very likely that's why he is put here. He can't be a stranger or lonely very long with Dick for a roommate. Enter Fred Williamson, c. Wil. Dick hasn't come up yet ? Sid. No. How did it go, Wil ? Are you nearly dead ? Wil. (throwing himself onto couch). Just about. Practice was simply rotten. This is the year that Derry eats us alive and we aren't to blame either. Our best players are laid off. Ferg. Did they decide on the sub for Hoslin's place? Wil. Yes. *™ G '\ (together). Who? Wil. Dick. Ferg. Three cheers ! Sid. It's all right to cheer, but Dick had better watch out. I suppose Phil is almost tickled to death. Wil. Well, Phil didn't act very nice just at first but he will get over it. He has to see that it's for the good of the team. If he doesn't Mr. King and Roy will make him see it. (Sam Bigelow comes to door, C. He is rather short and extremely stout. ) Ferg. Hello, you old ice-wagon ! Come on in ! You are looking fine. How are you feeling ? (Big. enters and sinks down in an armchair.) Big. I'm nearly dead. I am being killed by inches and nobody cares anything about it. Ferg. Poor little thing ! Sid. It's a shame. Wil. Mother's pet ! Big. Gee ! You make me sick ! You fellows dragged me out on the field and actually made me try out for football with a lot of silly twaddle about glory, and honor, and duty, and school spirit. I did my very worst, and the captain and the coach were pleased as punch and gave me a position on the regular team right away. Just my darned luck ! I have been hammered and thumped and banged ever since, and the more brutally I am treated the harder you laugh. Wil. Brutally treated ! Believe me it's the other fellow that gets hammered and thumped. When any one comes in 6 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY contact with you, Sam, it's just like going up against the side of a barn. You can't see under nor over, nor can you move it from its foundation a quarter of an inch. Big. I suppose you think that's funny. I'm losing about ten pounds a day. I'll be a mere shadow by Saturday. I have absolutely lost my appetite Sid. Oh-o-o-o ! Ferg. Sammy, be careful ! Wil. Draw it mild. Big. And you call me mother's pet. I'd just like to go home and be mother's pet for a while. I bet I'd have something to eat. Hoslin broke his collar-bone and can't play. Mason's got water on the knee and can't play. I haven't even dislo- cated an eyelash. Nothing to prevent me from going out on the field every day and having the stuffings knocked out of me. Just my darned luck ! (Mr. Deane comes to door, c. Stands looking in. Stephen Reynolds stands back of him. The boys rise.) Deane. Come right in, Master Reynolds. {Looks about.) Well, dear me ! (Deane is rather slight, about forty, wears glasses, is very nervous.) Every one here but the one who belongs here. It's most extraordinary the way you occupy each other's rooms in the absence of the rightful occupant. Ferg. Dick doesn't mind, Mr. Deane. He knows he is welcome in our rooms. Deane. Yes, but that isn't the point. What do you have rooms of your own for ? Why don't you stay in them once in a while ? Sid. Our own rooms are good places to sleep and dress, but it's more fun to hang out in the other fellow's room. Deane. So it seems ! So it seems ! But I can't under- stand it. Wil. Wasn't it so when you were in school, Mr. Deane ? Deane. Dear me, no ! I spent the greater part of my time in my own room, and I spent it studying. I didn't spend my time running around a field and trying to kick a silly ball. There really should be a rule here about staying in your room certain hours of the day. Why don't you come in, Piaster Reynolds ? {Discovers that he is blocking the doorway, steps one side. Rey. enters. He is tall, light complexioned, a trifle awkward and very diffident.) Master Colton who sleeps in this room is out. I presume he comes here occasionally. A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 7 These young gentlemen who have no right here at all are Master Bigelow, Master Williamson, Master Sidney, Master Fergurson. (The fellows shake hands with Rev.) This is the sleeping apartment in here. [Exit Deane, r., followed by Rey. Wil. (starting for door). Come on for pity's sake. Sid. Yes, we better get to a place where we have a few rights. Ferg. (disgusted). Isn't Deane the darndest pill? Big. (indignantly). I wish he had to get out and try to kick a silly ball. (A tremendous bumping noise is heard in the hall.) Sid. (hurrying to the door). What the deuce? Enter Deane, r. Deane. Why this unseemly noise ? Ferg. (looking out door and trying not to laugh). It's Mas- ter Reynolds' trunk, sir. Deane (going to door). John, cease this disturbance at once. It is time you learned to bring up a trunk without dis- turbing the peace and quiet of the entire building. You may go. You have created sufficient commotion for one afternoon. Master Williamson, help Master Reynolds with his trunk. You are so fond of exercise, see if you can display a little muscle in this direction. Wil. Sure thing. (Calls.) Oh, you Reynolds! Heave to and stand ready while I deliver the goods ! (Rey. comes to door, r.) Deane. Master Williamson, such freedom with a young man who is an absolute stranger to you ! And do you realize that you said " sure thing " to me? Wil. Did I really, Mr. Deane? I beg your pardon, sir. Master Reynolds, I rejoice in the opportunity of assisting you with your baggage. Ferg. Let us help, too, Mr. Deane. [Exit, c. Sid. Yes, it's mean to let Williamson have all the honors. (Follows Ferg., and Big. hurries after. They contrive to slide the trunk i?ito the room onto Deane's/^/.) 8 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Deane. Oh ! 0\v ! What do you think you are doing ? All. Oh, Mr. Deane, did we hurt you? We are so sorry. Deane {pointing to door). Go ! Go down-stairs ! Out of my sight before I forget that I am a gentleman. (Ferg., Sid. and Big. make a hurried exit, c. Wil. helps Rey. to slide the trunk i?ito room atR., then follows the boys. Deane sits down and holds first one foot ', then the other.) Rey. Can I do anything for you, sir ? Deane. No ! No, I thank you. This school is going to be the death of me. I can plainly see it. I should never have come here. You can unpack and arrange your belongings and then come down to my study. No. 10. First floor. I will — er — talk with you in regard to your lessons for to-morrow, and so forth. [Exit, c. (Rey. removes his coat. Carries it to room, r. Returns and looks about room with interest. Opens his traveling- bag, takes out several photographs, regards them doubt- fully, finally arranges them on mantel.) Harold Smith (outside). Dick ! I say, Dickie ! Are you in? (Enters c.) Oh, beg pardon. I was looking for Colton. Rey. He isn't here just now. Come in and wait. I was — er — just going down-stairs to talk with Mr. Deane. [Exit, c. (Smith crosses room and sits down by table.) Philip Ainsworth (entering a). Colton ! (Stops ab- ruptly as he sees Smith.) Oh, so you are here, are you? I knew half the school would hustle over to tell Dick how glad they are that he got in ahead of me, but I hadn't expected it of you. Smith (angry at first). That's uncalled for and unjust. I want to see Colton in regard to something entirely different than football. ( Walks over to Ains., and puts his hand on his shoulder.) Phil, old man, I'm sorry. I don't know as this is just the place to say it, here in Dick's room, but I know how much you wanted Hoslin's place, and I am sorry for you. Ains. Thanks, Harold. I didn't mean what I said to you. I guess you are the only one who is sorry. Every one wanted Colton. A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 9 Smith. No, they didn't, Phil. You shouldn't feel that way. Every one wanted the best player in Hoslin's place for the good of the team, and that's all there was to it. You surely wanted that yourself. If Dick can play a better game than you, why, you are man enough to cheer him on and be glad he is there. Ains. That's an easy line of talk for the fellow who is al- ready in and sure of his place. You wouldn't feel the same if you were in my place. Col ton's got another year here. This is my last. Colton's got four years at college ahead of him. This is the end for me. Next year I have to get out into the world and go to work. This was my last chance, and I've lost. Who can tell anything by practice ? When the time came I could play as good a game as Dick Colton ; very likely better. Briggs is partial to Colton, and so is King. (Rey. enters, a?id stands just inside the door looking at them doubtfully.') Smith. Phil, you are talking nonsense. Mr. King and Roy are absolutely square, and you know it ! Ains. They would put Colton in anyway. I wish to heaven something would stop him from playing. If I could think of a way of stopping him I would do it. Smith. Phil, you are beside yourself! You don't know what you are saying ! Supposing some one should hear you ? [Exit Rey., r.. unnoticed by others. Ains. I don't care if they do. Smith. Yes, you do care, and you don't mean what you say. Come on over to your room. You don't want to see Dick now anyway. Ains. Oh, don't be afraid for your little pet ! I won't hurt him any. Smith {out of patience). No, I bet you won't ! Not if he sees you first. Enter Sid., Ferg., Wil. and Big., c. Sid. Hello, fellows ! (Smith and Ains. respond, Ains. controlling himself with an effort.) Ferg. Where in the deuce is Dick ? We've looked every- where. Wil. {looking about). What's become of Master Reynolds ? 10 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY (Rey. comes to door, r., and stands looki?ig in unnoticed by the others.') Smith. Is Master Reynolds tall and light complexioned ? Wil. He is. Smith. Well, he has gone down to have a seance with Fussy Deane. Sid. Three groans ! Smith. Where did he blow in from ? Ferg. We know not. Wil. {examining pictures on mantel). Master Reynolds has been making himself at home. Ferg. (Joining him). I should say so. The whole family, I guess ! Hasn't he a nerve ? Wil. He is somewhat fresh, it appears. They say he enters our class, but I am afraid they have made a mistake. You would have thought he would have had decency enough to have waited for Dick to come in before he took possession. Ains. (trying to speak ?iaturally). A new roommate for Colton ? Sid. Yes, and believe me, an unwelcome one. Ferg. He will be poking his nose into everything we do, I suppose ? Big. Oh, perhaps he will know enough to mind his own business. (Rey. withdraws from door.) Enter Clayton King and LeRoy Briggs, c. The boys all jump to their feet. All. Oh, Mr. King ! Come in ! Won't you sit down? King. No, I think not. I wanted to see Colton for a few minutes. Sid. He hasn't come up yet, but probably he won't be much longer. King. When he comes in send him down to my room. Ainsworth, I am more glad than I can tell you to find you here. I was very much afraid that you were not going to look at things from the right standpoint. I did you an injustice. Of course you are man enough to put aside your own disap- pointment and think of the school first. It is just as important now for you to work your hardest and do your best, more im- portant if anything, for we are not as sure of Colton as we were A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY II of Hoslin. It is more than likely, you know, that you will have to go into the game. Colton may not last over the first half. You will be ready ? Ains. {trying to cover his real feeling). Yes, sir. King {to Briggs). You are going to wait for Colton ? Briggs. Yes, sir. King. All right. {Exit, c. Ferg. Thank heaven the glory and honor of Milford A. doesn't rest upon my shoulders. It's depressing. Big. You bet it is ! Briggs. Traitors! {Takes a picture from mantel.) Dare you talk like that in the presence of our mascot ? Big. (in surprise). Our mascot? {Takes picture from Briggs.) That's news to me. Who is the kid ? Briggs. Dick's little brother. Didn't he ever tell you about him? He's a regular rah! rah! boy. I took that picture when I visited Dick just before we came up in Sep- tember. That kid was born with football in his soul. I adopted him as my mascot. He reads about the games in the papers, and every week he writes us the greatest letters you ever heard. Why, Dick cares more for that kid than anything else on earth. If anything should happen to him Dick would go crazy. You know they haven't any mother, and the father is a traveling man. He doesn't come home very often and, although he does everything for them, I don't think he displays very much affection toward them. Ains. {trying not to appear too much interested). Who do they live with ? Briggs. An old maid aunt down in Enter Dick Colton, c. Ferg. Here he is ! Sid. It's about time you came in. Everyone under the sun has been up here looking for you. Big. You are the biggest man in school now. Col. Present company excepted. Big. Oh, take a fellow your own size. Col. {going to Ains., takes his hand and says heartily). Phil, I believe a mistake was made to-day. I believe you are the better man of the two and can play the better game. Briggs (dryly). Thank you in behalf of Mr. King and myself for the compliment to our judgment in putting you into the game. 12 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Col. The wisest make mistakes sometimes. I think you made one to-day. I played my hardest because you told me to, but I believe Ainsworth can really play a better game than I can. Do you know, I think I am going to have cold feet when the time comes. Briggs {sharply). Well, I think you are not ! Sid. For heaven's sake, Dick, what is the matter with you ? Ferg. That's what I should like to know ! Big. What about glory and honor and school spirit and all the rest of it? Col. Oh, that will come back to me, I suppose, when I am rested. Just now I feel like a squeezed lemon. Big. Put it there ! We are martyrs in an unhappy and forlorn cause. Briggs {severely). Well, I guess that will be just about enough for both of you. Colton, Mr. King wants to see you at once. You are to go right down to his room. I will wait until you come back for I want to see you, too. Col. All right. I will go at once. {Starts for door. Glances uneasily at Briggs.) Of course you know I didn't mean that Briggs {interrupting). Don't make any excuses. I know what you said. I don't want to hear any more. Ferg. Some of the rest of us wanted to see you too, Dickie, but it looks like a poor chance for us insignificant little nobodys. Wil. We will escort you down to Mr. King's and come back later in the day. (Ferg., Big., Smith and Ains. exeunt, c. Col. looks back at Briggs, and comes back.) Col. Oh, Roy, here's a letter from the kid. Such a letter ! You want to read what he says about last Saturday's game ! That boy is the greatest that ever happened ! {Hands Briggs a letter.) Briggs. Thanks. (Col. exits c. Briggs slips letter into his pocket.) It's good there's something that interests him. Sid. What's the matter with him, Roy ? Briggs. Several things. He's a trifle overtrained. He has worried too much about the last few days. He hated to fight against Ainsworth. Di'ck plays for the school. Ainsworth plays for himself. He wanted Hoslin's place more than any- A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 1 3 thing on earth just for the glory it would bring to him. Dick realizes that, although he won't admit it. Now that Dick has been chosen for the place he is a little bit scared. He isn't as sure of himself as he should be. Somebody's got to put some confidence into him. He will have to be roused for there's a lot depending on him. Duty, school spirit and loyalty to coach and captain have been talked until they are part of his life and they don't rouse the right enthusiasm. Sid. If he was only struck on a pretty girl who would come to the game and wave a Milford flag, I suppose that might fill the bill. Briggs. Yes, it might ; but unfortunately Dick is the kind who runs a mile when he sees a girl coming. Odd, too, for they all think he is terribly cute. {Glances toward mantel} By Jove, I know what will do the trick ! The kid ! Sid. Jimmy ? Briggs. Yes, sir ! Jimmy ! I'm going to send for him to come up to the game. Sid. But how about that aunt he lives with ? Will she let him come up here alone ? Briggs. I think so. I made myself rather square with her when I visited them. Sid. I'll bet you did. It's a little way you have. Say, you are a wonder. You never seem to have to be braced up any, but you are always bracing the other fellows. Briggs. It's the others that need it. I would be a fine captain if I needed bracing, wouldn't I ? You will help me get away with this, Sid ? Sid. Sure thing ! What position do I play ? Briggs. Keep the thing a secret. Meet the kid at the train and bring him up to the field. He shall be our mascot in earnest and we will give Dick the surprise of his life. I will go and write a letter to Miss Applebee right away. 'There's no time to lose. Tell Dicl$ to wait in his room for me. I'll be right back. [Exit, c. (Slight pause. Wil. and Ferg. enter, c., very much excited.) Wil. Rus ! Rus ! Listen ! We are disgraced for life and I am doomed, and I wish I had died in my early youth. Sid. What the deuce ? Ferg. Oh, honest, Rus, this is heartrending. I don't know what we are going to do ! Wil. Oh, such a headache ! 14 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Sid. Will you stop your silly babbling and tell me what has happened ? Ferg. Yes. Read that I {Hands him a letter.) Sid. (reading). "Mr. Leonard Fergurson, Milford Acad- emy, Cherryford, Conn. Dear sir: — For weeks I have been trying to find out youse address, and to-day the prop, of the Heuton House told me who youse was, but he couldn't tell me the names of the young gents who posed with you for my cir- cus day moving picture. I specially wants the funny little fel- low. The film you posed for was released some weeks ago and has made a big hit. It come out fine, and I have it featured as one of Norton's Nervy Novelties. The little fellow is a gen- uine sensation, and I hopes as how you have all seen yourselves on the screen. I am coming out to the Academy Saturday morning to find the funny little fellow and see if he will pose for me again. I will make it worth his while. Yours very truly, Alexander Norton, manager of Star Theatre, Halmsford, Conn. Originator of Norton's Nervy Novelties." Why — why, fellows, this will have to be stopped. Imagine his telling Dr. Marston that we posed for a moving picture and that some of Milford A.'s most exclusive young hopefuls are now being seen on the screen at the Star Theatre in Halmsford, and goodness only knows where else. He mustn't be allowed to come out here ! Wil. You bet he mustn't ! Saturday morning, the day of the game ! Sid. Well, what on earth has the game got to do with it ? He mustn't be allowed to come at all. Wil. You poor stewed prune, don't you realize that I am the funny little fellow referred to in this delightful epistle? And don't you realize that I broke a rule that day by going down to Halmsford with you fellows without permission ? And don't you realize that I broke training that day at Heuton's? And don't you remember that Dr. Marston said that he didn't care much about our having football at Milford this season, and if we were going to have it he was going to step in and make some rules that we would all abide by ? And don't you re- member that he said that if any fellow broke training just once, or broke any rule just once, or failed in any lesson just once, that he wouldn't play in a game no matter what position he played or how much the school needed him ? Sid. (somewhat dazed). Seems as if I do have a hazy rec- ollection of some such thing. A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 1 5 Wil. Don't think I am a coward. As far as I am con- cerned I can face Dr. Marston, and Mr. King and Briggs, and take my punishment like a little man. When it comes right down to it I guess that's what I ought to do, but do you know what it would mean to the team if I went out Saturday ? Heaven knows we are in the deuce of a hole now. I don't know where we would be if any one else went out. Ferg. That's right. We must stop this confounded duffer from coming out here. Our genuine little sensation must be allowed to play for the glory and honor of Milford A. ! Sid. Fellows, I can tell you a sequel to this story. I heard Mr. Deane telling Mr. Lee that he was over to Halmsford last week, and he went to the Star Theatre with a friend. I was so paralyzed to think Fussy would go to a moving picture show that I guess it knocked the significance of his following state- ment out of my head. He said he saw a picture of some fel- lows that looked so much like some Milford A. boys that he was actually startled. Wil. Deane ? Ye gods and little fishes ! It would be nuts for him to identify me as the funny little fellow. He isn't in sympathy with football. Sid. "Norton's Nervy Novelties." Holy smoke! if my aristocratic mother knew I had turned into a Nervy Novelty she would expire from mortification ! Ferg. Fellows, just why do you suppose we posed for that insufferable donkey? Sid. Oh, don't ask why we took sudden leave of our senses. All fellows do it at times. What I don't understand is why we pulled Fred along with us when we knew the rules, and Wil. Oh, now see here ! There wasn't any pulling along about it. I went of my own free will with my eyes wide open. I knew what I was doing, and I'll take my share of the blame. The only possible excuse for me is the fact that I was a sub at the time and hadn't any idea I was to be on the regular team, but that excuse wouldn't cut any ice with Dr. Marston. Ferg. The thing to do now is to think up some kind of a yarn which will keep Norton from coming down here Saturday. Sid. Well, our original little funny man ought to be able to get away with that. Wil. Oh, yes ! Ha! Ha! Great joke, isn't it? Believe me I don't feel half as funny as I did the day I posed as a Nervy Novelty. Ferg. Come on ! Don't be idling when there is a soul to 1 6 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY save ! We've got to send Norton a special delivery, and the sooner we do it the better. Wil. We can never make it strong enough to keep him away from here. He isn't the kind to be discouraged at trifles. Gee ! I shall be perfectly dippy by Saturday morning. Well, if he does show up, you fellows have got to hang to him, and keep him away from me until after the game. Sid. {impatiently). Well, come and send him a message ! We will do our best to avert the catastrophe. {They exeu?it, c. Rey. comes from room, R. Looks about uncertainly y begins to take his pictures from mantel.) Enter Col., c. Col. Oh, hello ! You must be my new roommate. I am glad to meet you. (Shakes hands with him.) My name is Colton, Dick Colton. Rey. Thank you. My name is Stephen Reynolds. Col. Getting settled ? Want any help ? Rey. No, thank you, I guess not. I began to put some of my things around, and Col. (laughing). And what are you doing now ? Taking them down again ? Rey. {very much embarrassed). Well — well — you see, I thought perhaps it looked rather cheeky. You were here first, and — and — I thought perhaps you wouldn't like — er — you see, I don't want to be in your way Col. Now, see here, Stephen Reynolds, half of this room belongs to you, and the fact that I was here first hasn't any- thing to do with it. You put your stuff back quick, or I'll know the reason why. Here, let me move this stuff. Rey. {quickly). No, don't do that ! Your things are great. I haven't much of anything with me, not the right kind of things. You see, I never went to school a day in my life, and Col. {in astonishment). Never went to school ? Rey. No. My mother is an invalid, and we've always been traveling around, and I've had private teachers, mostly old maids, and they didn't do a fellow much good excepting in an educational way. My father graduated from here, but he is dead, and there really wasn't any one to tell me what to bring. Col. I see. You are a lucky fellow to have been traveling all your days, and if you have never been to school you cer- tainly have the time of your life ahead of you. If you like A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 1 7 football you have landed in at a mighty good time. Excite- ment is at fever heat. We play our greatest enemy Saturday — Derry Academy. They have won from us three years straight, and if we don't make them bite the dust Saturday we are all going and jump off the bridge. ( Takes up a picture.) Is this your mother ? Rey. Yes. {Wistfully.') Do you think she is pretty ? Col. A perfect peach, if you will excuse the remark. She looks about eighteen. Rey. Yes, she does, and it's wonderful, for she has been sick for years. Col. Hard lines ! I haven't many family pictures to show up. My Aunt Polly refuses to pose before the camera. This is my little brother, Jimmy. He's the greatest kid you ever saw. Born to play football ! A regular rah ! rah ! boy. That reminds me that the captain of our team wanted to see me. He was waiting here when I went out. I guess I had better run over to his room. I'll be back in a few minutes and help you. By that time we will probably be ready for supper. Believe me, Steve, you are going to have more fun here than a box of monkeys. Rey. {gratefully). Thank you. {Exit Col., c. Rey. stands looking after him for a second ; puts his pictures back on the ma?itel ; exits r.) Enter Ains., c. ; glances quickly about ; goes to mantel ; takes picture of Jimmy from mantel, turns it over, looks disap- pointed, puts it back on mantel ; goes to table, takes up some letters, looks them over, glances uneasily toward door several times, finds what he wants, gives a satisfied "Ahf" Rey. comes to door, R. ; looks surprised when he sees Ains. ; stands in doorway watching him. Ains. {writing and speaking as he writes). Jimmy seri- ously hurt. Come at once. {Takes up letter ; copies.) Mrs. Polly Applebee, Meriden, Conn. {Puts the letter back in e?ivel- ope and places it carefully as he found it.) Bet that gets him ! {Picks up his message and exits c.) Rey. {walking into room, glances at table ; stands looking after Ains.). Now, what in time was that fellow up to? CURTAIN ACT II SCENE. — Locker room in the gymnasium. Exit r., sup- posed to lead to lockers. Exit l., supposed to lead out- doors. All the room need contain is scales, settees, a table, a pile of blankets on the table, several pails and a lot of sponges on the floor near the table. (As the curtain rises Big. stands on the scales. Murphy near the table looking over the things. A group of players dressed for the game stand talking together. In the group is Smith, and with them are several fellows wearing heavy coats and sweaters and carrying orange flags with a black M. A.) Big. (dismally). I've gone fine in the last few days. I knew it was coming. (The fellows laugh.) That's right; laugh ! When I go to the hospital to-morrow with nervous prostration you will know I was speaking the truth all the while. Smith. What makes you wait until to-morrow ? Why don't you go this afternoon ? Murphy. Sure an' I wish they wuz all as fit as yerself, Sammy. It's one foine game we'd be havin' this afthernoon. Enter Briggs, l., followed by Col. Briggs is dressed for game. Briggs (cheerfully). It's one fine game we are going to have anyway, Murphy, and don't you forget it ! (Col. steps onto the scales.) Murphy. Sure, thot's roight, Capin. (To Col.) Yez ain't quite up to yez mark, but (looking at him anxiously) yez seems all roight. Col. (a trifle impatiently). Oh, I am ! There's nothing the matter with me. Briggs. You look as if you had lost your last friend. I wish you would change the expression of your face. Go and get dressed. Don't stay here. {Exit Col., r.) Some of you fellows had better clear out of here before Mr, King comes 18 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 19 over. If you don't you will be likely to leave on the toe of his boot. Smith. Oh, you are safe enough for a few minutes yet. King is out on the field. Enter Sid., l., dragging Ferg. after him. Ferg. is elabor- ately and somewhat loudly dressed. He ivears an ora?ige tie and his trousers are turned unnecessarily high reveal- ing ora?ige stockings. Sid. Come in, old top, and show yourself. Captain, I've got a tonic for your team. Look at him, fellows ! Take one good look and Derry will appear like a mere trifle. You would be able to win from Yale if you were put to it ! Enter Wil., r. ; stops abruptly in front of Ferg, Exit Murphy, l. Wil. Great guns ! Where did it come from ? Sid. Sh ! Hush ! Fellows, he's got a girl here ! That accounts. All. What ? A girl ? How did you ever get away with it, Len ? She must be hard up ! Enter Ains., r. Ferg. (with dignity). I came over here to speak a few cheering words to you unfortunate mortals, but now I am not going to say a word. {Starts toward door, l. ; stops at door and speaks to some one outside.) What? {Turns back.) Col ton ! Has Colton come in? Big. Yes, he is in his locker. Sid. I'll get him ! [Exit, R. Briggs {starting to follow). No, you needn't ! {Turns impatiently to Ferg.) What is it? Who wants him ? Ferg. Only John. He has a message for him. Enter Sid., r. Sid. Dickie isn't receiving just at present. He is what one might term chastely attired in a bath towel and a pair of sneakers. Briggs. Tell John that the fellows are not allowed to re- ceive messages before the game. What in thunder ails you, Ainsworth? You are as nervous as a hen ! You jump around like a Jack-in-the-box every time any one speaks or moves. I 20 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY wish you would calm yourself down. You may be needed to replace Colton before the afternoon is over, and I don't care to send a nervous wreck on to the field. (Briggs joins group. Ains. walks away.') Wil. (to Ferg.). No sign of Norton ? Ferg. No, I guess we scared him off all right. Or per- haps he found another funny little fellow. Wil. Let's hope he did. Still there's danger of his show- ing up. Don't you get so much girl on the brain that you can't keep an eye out for him. Ferg. All right. {Looks back from door, l.) Here comes King. You fellows had better come out of here unless you want your heads lifted ! (Sid. walks over to Briggs. All the others, excepting the football players, exeunt, l.) Ferg. {from door). Good luck, fellows ! Eat 'em alive ! [Exit. Briggs. It's pretty near train time, Sid ! Sid. Yes, I'm going right over after the kid. We'll miss the start, but I'll get him up to the field just as soon as I can and take him where Dick will be sure to see him. Briggs (with a sigh). I wouldn't mind having a view of him myself. Sid. Poor old sport, you are so blamed cheerful all the time that we forget you need a bracer yourself occasionally. (Throws his arm around Briggs' shoulders.) Roy, with all my heart and soul I want you to win to-day. Not for the school, but just for yourself. I wish to heaven I had been some good at the game so I could fight with you. Briggs (grasping Sid.'s hand). Thanks, old man. Enter King, l. King. Well, fellows ! (Sees Sid. ; sternly.) Sidney, what are you doing in here? Sid. Talking to Briggs, sir. Briggs. It's really my fault, Mr. King. Don't scold him. I was rather down for a minute and he said just what I needed to hear. King. Well, in that case I will have to forgive him, I think. (To Sid.) Just the same, you had better run along. [Exit Sid., l. Enter Col., r., dressed for game.) Every one ready ? A REGULAR RAH ! RAH f BOY 2\ Briggs (glancing about). Yes, sir. {As King talks Ains., unnoticed by others, specks to Col. Col. goes to door, l. ; steps outside.) King. I did all the talking necessary last night. And the faculty talked, and the band played, and the school cheered, and all the rest of it. There is no need of telling you again what is expected of you. Just keep in mind that this is really a football game, not a Sunday-school picnic 1 I believe Derry is going to play a kicking game, and you must (Col. rushes in with a paper in his hand.) Col. Fellows ! Mr. King ! King. What is it ? Col. Telegram ! Briggs {taking paper from his hand, reading). Jimmy seriously hurt ! Come at once ! Polly Applebee. King {sharply). Who gave this to you? Col. John. I've just got time to make the train. Where's my coat? {Takes a coat from settee and puts it on.) Big. Are you going in those clothes ? Smith. Great heaven ! Aren't you going to play in the game ? Col. Oh, what do I care how I go ? Mr. King, Roy King. Don't try to talk, Col ton. Go and forget us ! We will pull through. You know that our sympathy goes with you, and we all hope that it may not be as bad as the telegram suggests. You know a telegram is a very deceptive thing. Col. {choking over his words). Yes, sir. Thank you. {To Ains.) Phil, you will fill my place. You are the better man. You play the better game. Fight for Milford as I would have fought, and lead her to victory. {Runs out, l.) King {sharply). Not a word, fellows ! Pull yourselves to- gether ! Quick ! Ainsworth, don't you dare to show any white feather ! Come ! Remember ! No new plays in the first half ! {All exeunt, L., followed by King. Slight pause. Deane enters, looks about with interest. Murphy hurries in, l., runs into Deane.) 22 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Murphy. I beg yez pardon, sir. Is they anythin' yez afther vvantin' ? Deane {fixing his glasses in place and looking rather dazed). No. No, I think not. I was — er — just — looking about as it were. I was never in the gymnasium before. This is my first visit. Murphy. Do yez till me ? Shure, an' it won't be yez last. Iviry wan who comes wanst comes agin. They's a fasinition ter the place. Deane. So it would seem. Murphy. An' ter-day yez can't hardly kape thim out with brick bats. Deane. I have — er — never witnessed football. I have a desire to — er— know what form of athletics will evoke so much enthusiasm and cause such a demonstration as I witnessed last evening. Murphy. Shure, thot's roight. We hed a hot toime last noight. Deane. And so I have decided to attend the game. Murphy. Do yez say so, sir? Shure, this do be a big day fer Milford. ( Takes up some blankets.) Deane {looking at them). Those are — er — blankets, aren't they? Murphy. Yes, sir, they is. Deane. Dear me ! And what do they do with blankets ? Murphy. Wrap thimsilves in thim. {Walks toward door.) They're afther nadin' some more out there. Deane. Wrap themselves in the blankets ? Er — when they are playing the game ? Murphy. Oh, fer the love of — excuse me, sir, I'll hev ter be goin'. If yez wants ter see the game yez bether be afther goin' out, fer they stharted some toime ago. Deane. Ah, yes, I dare say. (Jimmy Colton runs in, l., very much excited. He is about eight years old, never stands still for more tha?i a second, has a very shrill, piping voice.) Jim. Say, what's my brother doing on the Meriden train ? Murphy {looking very much surprised). Fer what is yez sayin' ? Deane. Dear me ! How extraordinary ! Who is the lad ? Jim. {dancing about). What's my brother doing on the Meriden train ? A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 23 Murphy. And who is yez brother ? Jim. My brother ? Dick Colton. For the love of Mike, don't you know him? Murphy. Shure, an' are yez Jimmy? Deane. Dear me ! Am I to understand that you are Mas- ter Colton's brother ? Jim. Sure thing. I mean, yes, sir. (Sid. rushes in, l.) Sid. Murphy, what in blazes ! Oh, beg pardon, Mr. Deane ! Of course Colton is out there on the field playing, isn't he? Deane. Dear me ! I couldn't possibly say. Murphy. Will, thin, an' I could ! Dick Colton's gone home ! Jim. What for? Sid. Then he was on the train? I wouldn't believe it. Jimmy got a sight of him just as the train was pulling out. I thought the kid was seeing things. Jim. What's he on the train for ? Deane (regarding Jim. in astonishment). Dear me ! Do tell the lad why his brother is on the train. Murphy. He got a telegram sayin' you wuz hurt and fer him ter come home. Jim. I was hurt ? It ain't so ! I ain't hurt ! I'm all right ! Don't you see I am? Sid. Who sent the telegram ? Murphy. Shure, an' I think they said it wuz from his aunt. Deane. Dear me ! How extraordinary ! I don't seem to comprehend. Jim. (at the top of his voice). No, she didn't ! No, she didn't ! Aunt Polly did not send no telegram ! And Dick is on the train, and how is he going to play football when he is on the train? Deane. Dear me ! What an extraordinary child ! Such a penetrating voice ! (Rey. rushes in, l.) Rey. Say, is it true that Colton got a telegram saying his brother is hurt ? Deane. So it would seem. 24 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Jim. But it ain't so. I ain't hurt ! I'm right here ! Rey. (in surprise). Gee ! Is this the rah ! rah ! kid? Deane. Er — yes, so it would seem ! A very good name for him. He has done nothing but— er — rah ! rah ! ever since he came in. Sid. Do you know anything about that telegram, Reynolds ? Rey. {vaguely). I don't know. Yes, I think so ! It looks like it ! It certainly does ! I'm going and find out ! If it is so I'll knock that fellow seven ways for Sunday ! [Exit, L., in a hurry. Deane. There — er — appears to be exhilaration in the very air. Sid. Well, some people are a surprise. I wouldn't have believed Reynolds had that much life in him. Murphy, take Jimmy out to the field. If he can't cheer Dick, he can cheer the rest of the team. I'll be along in a minute. [Exit Murphy, with Jim. Deane. Perhaps I had better be going toward the field, also. Sid. {looking about). You certainly had if you want to see any football. This isn't exactly an ideal location from which to view the game. Deane. So it would — er — seem. [Exit, l. (Ferg. runs in, l.) Ferg. Rus, is it true that Dick had a telegram calling him home ? Sid. Yes ! Ferg. Then we are doomed for fair. Sid. Why ? How is it going ? Ferg. {with a groan). It isn't going excepting for Derry. They are walking all around us ! Our fellows are completely rattled ! No one's doing a thing but Roy and Fred. Ains- worth has gone all to pieces, and is the worst ever. Aren't you coming ? Sid. Yes, as soon as I can find my overcoat. (Exit Ferg., l.) Gee whiz ! I'll use a blanket. (Grabs one and starts to exit as Col. rushes in.) Dick ! Dick ! I can't be- lieve my eyes ! And wearing my overcoat at that ! If you haven't a nerve ! Col. {throwing it off). Here, take it ! How is the game going ? Is the first half over ? A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 25 Sid. No, it isn't. The game is going simply awful ! I was just going to sit down and weep, but now by the great horn spoon, my hope revives ! Sit down and get your breath ! How in heaven's name did you get here ? I thought you were on your way to Meriden. Col. I was. Sid, I caught a glimpse of you and Jimmy just as the train was pulling out and I very nearly jumped from the window. I was fit to be tied, but there was nothing to do but ride on to Farmington. Sid. Farmington? Why, that's miles from here and no train back until 5 : 30. Col. I know it ! I hadn't the least idea how I was going to make it, but I left the train at Farmington. I started to hike down the road, trusting in the Colton luck to send me a conveyance, when I heard a whizzing and along came an auto. I waved a distress signal; he slowed up, and I couldn't believe my own ears when the man said he was going to Milford A. I hopped in, told my story and he let her out for fair. I be- lieve we were about ten seconds from Farmington to Milford. Sid. Dick, you beat the Dutch ! You land on your feet every time. Who was the man ? Do you know ? Col. Yes, I believe he said his name was Norton, and I think I understood him that he was coming to Milford to look for a funny little fellow. Sid. {putting his hand to his head). Ye gods ! Col. Sid, who could have sent that telegram ? Do you suppose some Derry fellow wanted me out of the game ? Sid. (with a vague movement of his hands'). I don't know. Ask your roommate. He has a theory of some kind. Col. Say, it was more than great of you to get the kid down here. Sid. It was Briggs' idea. Don't you want to go out? It seems to me I should feel better if I had some air. Col. Sure ! Come on where we can see the game. I won't announce my presence until after the first period. It must be about over. Ainsworth is winning his M. Let him get all the glory he can. (They exeunt, l. Slight pause. Deane and Alexander Norton enter l. Nor. is rather short, thick-set, flashily dressed and has a very loud voice.) Deane (looking about). There is no one here at all. 26 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Nor. Well, the young chap I brought down certainly come in here. Deane. And I am to understand that three young men from our academy — er — posed for you on circus day ? Nor. That's what ! One of 'em wuz Fergurson, but I don't know what the names of the other fellers wuz. There wuz a little one. He sure wuz a wonder, and I gotter find him. Deane. Extraordinary ! Perfectly extraordinary ! I saw that very picture at your theater in Halmsford last week. Nor. Yousedid? And didn't you recognize the fellers? Deane. Why — er — of course I noted the marvelous like- ness to some of our young gentlemen, but — er — of course I never dreamed that the — er — originals could be from our academy. Nor. Then youse knows who the little feller is? Deane. Most assuredly. It is Master Williamson. 1 have seen too many of his attempts at — er — burlesque in the class- room not to easily identify him. But Master Williamson. Dear me ! That is extraordinary ! Very ! You say they posed on circus day ! Nor. Sure they did ! Deane. Dear me ! That's since the football season opened ! Yes ! Most assuredly ! Dear me ! I must go and see about this right away ! Nor. And I'll go with yez. I gotter find that little feller ! {They exeunt, l. Slight pause. Players enter, followed by King and Murphy and Jim., who is very much excited and gets in every one* s way. One fellow has to be helped in and all appear pretty well tired out. ) King. Look after Hunnewell first. (Murphy goes to him. Ains. drops into a seat and sits with his head down. King looks at him in disgust. Jim. slips up to Ains. and stands with his arm around his neck as King talks to him ; finally becomes interested in lockers and exits R., before Col. enter j - .) Ainsworth, I don't know what to think of you or what to say to you. You and Colton were the only subs for Hoslin's place and you will have to play the game through, although you are almost worse than no one at all. You haven't the nerve or the spunk of a kitten ! You are a perfect coward ! Absolutely scared off ! If there's any man in you A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 27 Enter Col., l. Rey. follows. All. Here's Dick! Where did you come from? Look who's here ! King (turning- from Ains.). Colton ! I can't believe my eyes ! How did you get back ? Are you all right to play ? Col. Yes, sir ! I came back in an auto and I'm all O. K. from my head down. What I want to know is who sent that telegram. Rev. I can tell you. It was Ainsworth ! All. What? Ains. (with a feeble attempt to defend himself). What do you mean ? Rev. Just what I say ! You needn't try to bluff it out ! You told Smith in our room Wednesday afternoon that you would do something to get Dick out of the game if you could. Later in the afternoon you came back to our room, wrote the telegram, and stole Miss Applebee's address from a letter on the table. You thought you were alone, but you weren't. I was there and saw you do it ! Col. (to Ains., in a blaze of anger). You contemptible cur, don't you ever show your face in Milford again as long as you live ! You aren't fit to associate with decent fellows ! You aren't fit to live ! You (Starts for him. Jim. runs in R. ; throws himself at Col.) Jim. Dick ! Oh, Dick ! Col. (holding him in his arms). Jimmy ! Jim. (holding Col. by the neck). Now we'll win the game, fellows ! King. Ainsworth, get out of here ! Out of every one's sight ! (Exit Ains., r.) Now, fellows, we'll get together once more ! Enter Nor. and Deane, l. Deane (pointing at Wil.). There he is ! Isn't that your funny little fellow? Nor. (delighted, in a voice that could be heard a mile). It sure is ! (They all stand for a second looking at Nor. and Deane in astonishment.) 28 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Rey. {suddenly darting forward and grabbing Nor. by the hand). Why, Mr. Norton, how do you do? I am glad to see you. I didn't know you were coming down to-day. Come right out with me and get a seat where you can see us knock Derry into the middle of next week ! {Hustles him toward the door.) Nor. {struggling to get away). Why, I don't seem to know Rey. That's all right ! That's all right ! {Hustles him out of door, l.) Deane. Mr. King, you will have to take Master William- son out of the game. He has no right to play. He King. Mr. Deane, if you have anything to report about Master Williamson you go and tell it to the statue of General Grant over in front of the Academic Building. You can't re- port it to me until after the game. Now, will you oblige me by getting out of here? You people seem to think we are hold- ing a series of afternoon teas over here ! Deane. But I tell you King {grabbing Deane and walking him toward the door). Absolutely nothing ! Deane. You lose your position for this ! King. Very likely ! But 1 shan't lose it until after the game. {Puts Deane outside and shuts the door ; turns and faces Wil.) Wil. {miserably). What shall I do? King. Do? Play football ! If you have been doing any- thing wrong I'll report you to Dr. Marston myself, and I hope he makes you howl, but that won't happen until after the game. Just now you are going to put up the fight of your life for Milford A. ! You understand ? Wil. Yes, sir. King. Now, fellows, listen ! Smith, Briggs and Merrill, you have got to see that Derry doesn't gain on punting. Now, all of you, keep your eyes on the ball. You let them fool you half the time. Don't think you know so darned much about what they are going to do. You don't know anything about it at all ! You let their ends get by you almost every time. A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 29 Colton, if Hoslin had played to-day he would have helped us by kicking a goal ; we hoped more than one. I want you to go out there and try it. Are you ready ? Col. {choking, and half -dazed). I — I don't know. King. What's the matter with you? Chicken hearted? Afraid? In that case we might as well have kept Ainsworth. Jim. {jumping onto a settee and throwing his arm around Col.'s neck). Dick can do it ! Dick can do it ! Can't you, Dick? You know you can ! Don't you, Dick? My brother can do anything ! Can't you, Dick ? King {stepping forward and placing his hand on Col.'s shoulder). Is that right, Dick ? Can you do it ? Col. (firmly). Yes, sir ! I can do it ! King. That's the stuff ! Watch the ball and get it over ! Jim. {waving his cap). Rah for Milford A. ! We are going to lick the tar out of Derry ! All. That's right, kid ! We are ! [All exeunt \ l., followed by King and Murphy. Enter Ains., r. Stands listening. Fellows {outside). Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Milford A. ! (He throws himself onto the floor by a settee and buries his face in his arms as the fellows continue their cheer.) Col- ton ! Colton ! Colton ! CURTAIN ACT III SCENE. — Same as in Act I. Col.'s room. A table is spread in the center of the room. Seated about the table are King, Nor., Briggs, Col., Big., Wil., Sid., Ferg., Rey., Jim., and other ?ne?nbers of teain. (As curtain rises King stands at head of table talking to the fellows.') King. And now, fellows, we come to the close of our foot- ball season. We have met our enemy and we have conquered him. We have finished in a blaze of glory. We can afford to be generous. Let us forget any wrongs or grievances, and re- member only the good. Let us keep ever before us our motto — " Loyalty to the school and to each other." And now may I propose the last toast — to the one who really did the trick for us, to the hero of the day, our mascot, a regular rah ! rah ! boy. All (jumping to their feet). Jimmy! Col. (standing Jim. in a chair). You have to respond to that, kid. All. Sure thing ! Speech, Jimmy I Jim. {looking about and smiling doubtfully). Do I ? Well, I never made a speech, and I guess I don't just know how. It's corking of you fellows to say I helped win the game when I didn't do nothing but cheer, you know. Some time, though, when I grow bigger I'm coming here to school, and I'm going to play football and beat Derry all to smithers. And — and — I guess I'll be captain of the team, maybe, but whatever I am, I'm going to be just like my brother. (Jim. sits do7vn rather breathless.) All. Three cheers ! Bully boy ! Some kid ! King. Now, fellows, much as I hate to, I shall be obliged to leave you. I have several things which must be attended to to-night. (Shakes hands with Nor.) Mr. Norton, I am very glad to have met you. When you brought Dick back to us to- day you did us a favor which we will never forget, and when the boys go down to see those Nervy Novelties I'm going to be right there, too. 30 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 3 1 Briggs. Now, fellows, all together. Make it good ! All. Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Mr. King ! Mr. King ! Mr. King ! [Exit, King. Nor. Well, gents, I oughter be goin', too. It'sgettin' late, and think where I gotter go ! Briggs. What makes you go? Why don't you stay over night ? Nor. Couldn't think of it ! Possibly ! You young gents don't understand. Col. Well, you don't have to go for a while, anyway. I know from experience that choo-choo-wagon of yours goes about 147 a minute ! Briggs. We've got some star performers here, Mr. Nor- ton. I'll bet your vaudeville actors can't touch some of our stunts. Nor. I believe it ! You've got one funny little fellow here that beats anything I ever had. It certainly am a shame that your principal here don't think he oughter pose any more. Jest you wait, Mr. Williamson, until youse see yerself on the screen. Wil. I'm afraid I'll have to wait a while before I see my- self anywhere outside the garden gate. Nor. What do yez mean ? Ain't youse comin' down with the team next Wednesday night? You knows I invited the whole team, and your principal said youse could go. Wil. Yes, all but the funny little fellow. He said I had been funny once too often. That he was afraid my sense of humor was too strongly developed. He is going to pass sen- tence bright and early Monday morning, and I bet I don't take any more excursions until I go home for Christmas vacation. Nor. Do youse mean to say youse gotter be punished be- cause you posed fer me ? Wil. Oh, no ! Not that ! You see, I broke several dif- ferent rules when I went down to Halmsford that day. I was only a sub at the time, but the next week I was put on the regular team, and I have played in several games that I couldn't have played in if Dr. Marslon had known about circus day. He can't help what has been done, but he thinks he can make me sorry. He has another think coming to him. Do his worst, he can't make me sorry that I posed as a Nervy Novelty. If I hadn't, you wouldn't have come to Milford looking for a funny little fellow, and brought Dick along just in time to save the day. 32 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Nor. I am going right over and see Dr. Marston. Wil. No, you don't ! Nor. But it's me got you into the mess by blabbing about my Novelties. I wants to make it right. Briggs. You made it right this afternoon, Mr. Norton. We had better let Dr. Marston forget about past events as soon as possible. Wil. You bet ! He has heard enough about my perform- ances for one day. To-morrow is Sunday. Perhaps by Mon- day he will have cooled down a little. Nor. But youse won't see youseself on the screen. Wil. Such is an unkind fate. I have a vivid imagination, and I can guess at lots of things, and then the fellows can tell me how I looked. Fire away, Dick. You are the host, and it is time you did some of the entertaining. Prove you can do something besides kick a goal. All. That's right ! Go ahead, Dickie ! (Col. gives a popular song, all joining in the chorus.) Col. (returning to his place). All right, Sam. Your turn. Big. Nothing doing ! Nobody home ! It's too much like work, and I've worked all I'm going to for one while. I'm not going to do anything but eat for days and days and days. Think of all the good things I have missed in the last two months just for the sake of being hammered and banged and pretty near killed. Briggs. Come now, Sam, we have listened to that sort of talk for quite a while, and yet when the time came you were always just as ready as the rest of us to fight for the glory of Milford A. Admit that you are proud of your position on the team. Tell the truth ! You wouldn't have missed it, would you? Big. (with a serene smile). Missed it? Not if I had been obliged to live on oatmeal for the rest of my life. All. Three cheers ! That's the talk ! Ferg. That's the greatest compliment ever paid to our gal- lant nine. Sid. You dear old steam plow, you have vindicated your- self! Briggs. I always knew you had the true Milford spirit. Big. There, you run away and play ! It's Milford spirit that has had me hypnotized for the last three months. Len, A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 33 you never do anything but a heavy looking on, supposing you rise to the occasion. All. That's right ! Go ahead ! (Ferg. starts to sing, "All that I Ask is Love.") Oh ! Listen ! Squelch him ! Is it as bad as that ? We didn't know you were really affected ! Ferg. You fellows give me a pain ! I was invited to a dance to-night and I was simpleton enough to stay here with you fellows instead. I bet next time I get an invitation I will go for all you fellows. Sid. I hope you were honest enough to tell her that you don't dance. Ferg. {indignantly). Don't dance? Wil. Surely you don't call the funny antics that you sometimes allow your feet to go through with dancing? Ferg. I suppose you think you are funny. Wil. I know that I am. I have Mr. Norton's word for it. Briggs (to Rey.). I really believe he thinks he can dance. Rey. Well, can't he? Sid. Can't he? You ought to see him ! He tried to learn the tango, and his scissors step was something never to be for- gotten. He looked like a pair that was to remain permanently open. It didn't seem as if they ever could close. He got his left foot crossed over his right, and he had to send for a derrick to lift his left foot back again. Ferg. Just to pay you for that I will go on with my song. (Ferg. gives a popular song. Other numbers may be intro- duced if desired. Musical numbers, recitations, and so forth. Deane enters. Fellows are very much surprised.) Col. Sit right down, Mr. Deane ! We are glad to have you with us. Deane. Thank you ! Thank you ! I think I won't sit down. I just came in for a second. I — I want to tell you that I witnessed the game this afternoon. I never saw football before, and although I fear I didn't comprehend all of the moves — didn't exactly take them in as it were, still I was im- pressed — er — yes, impressed. It was extraordinary, yes — very. And — er — you will pardon me, but — er — I think you are all somewhat extraordinary. I fear I have not been fully in sym- pathy with you since I came here, not fully. Now — er — to-day when I thought of having Master Williamson taken out of the game, I thought only of the fact that he had no right to play, 34 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY don't you know? I didn't consider the fact that it might inconvenience you. I — er — trust that you bear me no ill will? Wil. Of course we don't, Mr. Deane. I shouldn't have played in those games. Your standpoint was the right one. I didn't realize it at first, but I have thought a good deal about it in the last few days, and if it hadn't been for the crippled condition of the team I'd have owned up. As it is, I have helped win the victory, and I guess now that it will be easier to take my medicine. Deane. I admire your spirit, Master Williamson. I ad- mired it to-day when you were talking with Dr. Marston ; so much so, indeed, that I have been to see him this evening and begged him as a personal favor to me to suspend sentence until after Wednesday, so you can go down to Halmsford with the team. Nor. And you can see youseself on the screen after all ! Wil. Why, Mr. Deane, that's more than bully of you to do that for me. All. Right-oh ! Deane. Oh, it's nothing ! Nothing at all ! I fear I have misunderstood many things. I never until to-day seemed to have the right atmosphere, or spirit I might say. Big. That's it, Mr. Deane. It's the spirit that gets you every time. Deane. So it would — er — seem. (To Col.) No, thank you; really, I couldn't eat a thing. I will — er — drink — er — the ginger ale. (Col. fills a glass for him ; he lifts the glass.) To — er — the team ! Briggs. Now, fellows, good ones ! All. Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Mr. Deane ! Mr. Deane ! Mr. Deane ! Deane. Dear me ! I didn't know so much pleasure could be derived from hearing one's name thus heralded. Nor. Me neither. When the team cheered me this after- noon I never felt so set up in my life. Fellers, I never hed no advantages or education. I wuz working when I wuz ten years old, and to-day is the first time I ever stepped foot into a place like this. You've used me white and I ain't never going to forget it. I'm sorry I can't have no more picters of the funny little feller, but I'm mighty glad I hed one, for it's given me the chance ter have the time of my life. Now I gotter go, and next Wednesday night I'll be lookin' for youse and there won't be nothin' in the Star Theatre too good for you. A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 35 All. Sorry you have to go ! We'll be there, Mr. Norton ! Good-night. {Exeunt Deane and Nor., c. Jim. leaves table, curls up in an armchair and goes to sleep.) Wil. Master Reynolds, there's something I want to hear about. I've been dying to ask you some questions but I couldn't very well while Norton was here. Rey. Well, you will never hear about anything until you drop the Master Reynolds business. You can call me any- thing you like, but you can't call me that. I go on a strike right now. Col. There, calm down, Steve. It isn't like you to get excited. After the favor you did us to-day we will call you anything you say. All. Sure thing. Wil. How did you happen to collar Norton and lug him out just when things were getting interesting? You didn't really know him, did you ? Rey. No, I never saw him before. But for goodness' sake don't let him know. I have made him think that we are well acquainted. You see I was up here Wednesday afternoon. I had just come and was in the other room. I hated to say any- thing to you fellows and I heard what you said about Norton. Sid. If you heard that I guess you heard some other things, too, about yourself, didn't you ? Rey. Yes, but I don't mind, really. You fellows have been great to me. I feel as if I had always been here. Ferg. Well, we will be greater still. You certainly are a handy fellow to have around. Enter Smith, c. All. Hello, Harold ! Col. What luck ? Smith. None at all. {Drops into a chair.) Gee! I'm done out ! Got anything left ? All {pushing dishes toward him). Sure ! Plenty ! Here ! Try this ! Smith. That will do for a start, thank you. Col. Didn't you see any sign of Phil at all ? Smith. No. I've been to every place I can think of that he would be likely to go. He must have started for home. Ferg. Not very likely. He was wearing his football togs. 36 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Col. That doesn't count if he felt as excited as I did when I started. Sid. I think he borrowed my overcoat. Dick had it first, and when he showed up I was so excited I forgot to put it on, and after Ainsworth disappeared it was missing again. Smith. Well, I can't imagine where he is unless he did start for home. Big. Well, I should fret ! Col. Well, now, fellows, I tell you what it is. We have got to find Ainsworth and bring him back here. Briggs {impatiently). Will you kindly explain why? Sid. I should say as much. Col. I am responsible for the fact that he has gone. It was what I said. Ferg. Oh, Dick, forget it ! You make me feel terribly fatigued. Wil. It's a good thing he had sense enough to depart. Milford would be a horribly unhealthy place for him after this. Col. {firmly). That's just what it's not going to be. Phil is coming back, and we are going to put him on his feet again, and start him in the right direction. Sid. Are we, indeed ? Big. That's real interesting. I am glad you told us. Col. I'm not joking, fellows. I'm in deadly earnest. If Phil goes away now when he is in trouble, and we are all against him, there is no telling where he will go or what he will do. Perhaps he will not go home at all. All the fall we have talked about school spirit, and how loyal we are to the school, and the team and each other. Now is the time to show how much school spirit we really have. It is when a fellow is down that you should stand by him and prove your loyalty. You may think I exaggerate, but Phil's whole future life may be made or marred by just the stand we take now. Briggs. That's true, Dick, but I don't believe I should have ever thought of it. Come, fellows, we stand with Dick in this, don't we? We will do just what he says. Stand by Ainsworth, and start him again in the right direction. All. We sure will ! Ferg. (with a nervous laugh). Look at our mascot ! Col. Played out ! I don't wonder. This has been some day for us older fellows. Sid. Fellows, we've got just five minutes to get to our rooms and lights out. A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ? BOY 37 All. What ? Impossible ! Can't be ! Wil. {looking at his watch). Well, it is ! Five minutes of eleven ! Come on, fellows ! Good-night, Dick ! All {making a general rush to the door). Good-night, Dick ! Dick. Good-night. {Looks about.) Glory, Steve, isn't this room a sight? {Looks down at Jim.) I hate to wake him up. I believe I will camp here with him for the night. I am actually too tired to go to bed. (Ains. slips in at door, c, then closes the door and locks it. He wears an overcoat over his football clothes.) Ains. Colton ! (Col. and Key. turn quickly.) Rey. It's Ainsworth ! Col. Phil ! Ains. Hush ! Some one will hear you. {Hesitates and glances at Rey.) I wanted to see you, Colton. (Rey. exits R.) I forgot that Reynolds roomed with you. Col. Phil, I'm so glad you have come back. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I spoke to you as I did to-day. I was beside myself. I didn't know what I was saying. I wanted a chance to apologize. Ains. You apologize to me ? Why in heaven's name didn't you do me up to-day when you had the chance? Why don't you kick me out of this room now ? Col. Sit down, Phil. You are completely done out. Ains. No ! I've only come back for a minute. I don't want any one to know. I'm going to get some clothes and sneak away again. {There is a knock at the door. Under his breath.) Who's that? Deane {outside). Lights out, Colton. Col. {turning the light out). Yes, sir. {He lights a can- dle and brings it to the table.) There, no one will notice that. Where are you going, Phil ? What are you going to do ? Ains. Away somewhere and start over again. This was my last year at school, anyway. I've got to go to work next year, and I might as well go now, but I couldn't leave without a word to you, Dick. If you only knew how I hate myself! How disgusted I am with what I did to you ! How perfectly miserable I am ! 38 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY Col. Don't talk about it, Phil. It's all over and forgotten. Ains. Forgotten ? Never as long as I live. Col. That's all foolishness, you know. Ains. You don't realize what I did ! Came into your room when you were out, stole your aunt's address, hired a brake- man on one of the trains to send the telegram from your home town, and Col. Phil, what is the sense in going over all this again ? If you are sorry and want to make it right, that's the only thing to consider. But, Phil, you don't want to go away to make a new start, you want to make it right here among the fellows. Ains. Among the fellows ? Why, they would ride me out of Milford on a rail. Col. No, they wouldn't. If you mean what you say, and want to make good, they will stand by you. Ains. You mean you would, and possibly Harold. Col. {going to door, r., and calling). Steve, come in here ! {Enter Rey., r.) Now, Phil, Steve will tell you that I am speaking the truth. Harold gave up all the fun here to-night, and has been out for hours searching for you. We wanted you back again. Every fellow who was in this room to-night is pledged to help you wipe out the memory of to-day, and start over again. Rey. That is true, Ainsworth. I — I want to apologize, too. I'm sorry that I denounced you to-day as I did. Ains. Dick, I couldn't ! Couldn't face the fellows ! Couldn't face the faculty. I'll begin again, and I'll make good, but I can't do it here. You don't know what you ask. Col. This is the place to make your fight, Phil, right here. Live down the wrong and make a new name. Here's my hand, Ainsworth, I'll stand beside you and help. Rey. I don't count for much, but here's my hand, too, and I'll stand on the other side. Jim. {moving and sitting up suddenly). Where am I at, Dick ? Is it morning ? Col. Pretty near, I guess. {Picks Jim. up and stands him on a chair beside Ains.) Now tell Phil that he doesn't want to go away. That he wants to stay right here. Jim. {throuuing one arm aroufid Ains.' neck and murmuring sleepily). Sure ; stay here. It's a corking place. Ains. Fellows, I don't know what to say. Col. Just say that you will stay, and leave the rest to us. Ains. Yes, I will say that I'll stay, but I won't leave it to A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 39 you. I'll not take refuge behind your generosity. All that I am I will owe to you, but I will stand on my own feet, make my own fight, and I'll win ! Col. Now, Steve {glancing toward door), draw it mild, but make it good. Rfy \ (together). Ainsworth ! Ainsworth ! Ains worth ! CURTAIN R. 01* Pinero's Plays Price, 50 eetite each IVIin fHANNFl Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females. ITIlU-VIIrlllliLilj Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays two and a half hours. THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH 23™ 5 JK males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. Plays a full evening. THF PROFIir'ATF Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five * **Ei I IWI LilVJ/\ 1 L, females. Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. THF QfHfini MKTBFQQ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 1I1E. 0^nUUL,lH10ll\E.DD S even females. Costumes, mod- ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^ t to ,£K, A & females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. CWFFT I A VFMHFR Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, O TT EjEi 1 Li/\ T lull 1/ Ei IV f our females. Scene, a single interior, costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. THE THI TMnCPRfll T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, lnE. inUlXUEilYDWL.1 nine females. Scenery, three interi- ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. THF "1*1 ll/ipC Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. * *»*-■ * UtIEiiJ Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. THF WFAKTR A^ Yflll I FSTF IT Comed y in Five Acts - Thirteen males, four AJ Ivl) lvlliiw II females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- ried. Plays a full evening. CAM IT T F T>rama in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- AIIIII4I4L tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. INflOMAR 1>lay in Five Acts - Thirteen males, three females. ILlUUlilAfV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. MAPY STIIAHT Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- Uli&lVl JlUrtfVl males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. THE MERCHANT OF VENICE SS^SSS picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. PIPHFI IFTI Flay in Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- rAlVllLML