PS ^^rflectiorw Corn-field PFiilogopRer ■EWHelntiSl Class TiSiS Bookx EhS^Lf Copyright IJ". i(^iC COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. I Reflections of a Cornfield Philosopher '^ Reflections of a Cornfield Philosopher LSS \ilV\ \m NEW YORK THOMAS Y* CROWELL COMPANY PUBLISHERS •^^ ^':^>^^-c=s$-,^^x>^^^^. .^^' The University Press, Cambridge, Mass., U.S. A. ^^,4 ft' JUN 15 1916 CI.A431504 ^ TO THE MAN WHO HOES TO THE END OF THE ROW THIS LITTLE BOOK IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED If you would be a philosopher, borrow a hoe some bright morn" ing and go out into a cornfield and hoe a row of corn ; and when you have finished one row hoe an- other, and so continue unto the night. You will be very weary but you will have had time to think and you will see some things clearly. Reflections It is a high privilege to be ad- mitted to the game of life, even though V7e have to sit on the bleachers. Institutions are built on the backs of men. Until all backs are strong, institutions will be weak. Many a man has become famous through playing the part of mega- phone to some quiet scholar. Who exploits the passions of men for political ends, weaves a rope that will hang his sons and his daughters. It is hard to judge by appear- ances. Boys who wouldn't steal a melon will sometimes hang over the garden fence. [1] ^^^ .^^ / ^^ ^-^'^"Si-^^^^<:^-,> A Cornfield Philosopher It's too bad we can't inherit the ^^H^^ ings our ancestors have learned ^ssr^^ \ A thin not to do. If your apparel speaks too loudly it will drown the voice of yotxr personality. Words are not wise merely be- cause they march in stately pro- cession. It's a bold writer these days who dares employ the English language. Ignorance may have good mo- tives, but only high intelligence can do right. If our fears could be turned into fortitude and our worries into work, we could move mountains — small ones anyway. [2] -;>^ ^-'-^ ' .y^^ A Cornfield Philosopher ^w % m A bore is a person who can't imderstand that we are in a hxxrry to go fishing. Truth is a newspaper that every- body subscribes for and nobody takes. As an acorn falling on fertile soil will in time become a mighty oak, so a word dropped at the right place may cause a revolution. If you are running for office adopt a platform everybody agrees to — then fight for it. Good manners require an iimate quality of mind and heart that prompts to kindly acts. You can't polish a hog so that his snout will not be visible. The woman who goes places just to show her clothes had better stay home and send ^em in a tnmk. [3] ^>^ X' !^«^ .>-^'-^-^^-ci^^<:^^ A Cornfield Philosopher A If you want to get strong phys- ically, take exercise. If you want to get strong mentally, take re- sponsibility. A train of thought is a fine thing, yet some folks run only one a day. Life is a battle. Some die early in the fight and are buried in for- gotten graves. Others are crowned with laurel and go to Congress. But ifs all right. Many a career has been spoiled by too many opportunities. It's a common thing for ignorance to denoimce what it doesn't under- stand. Never envy a man unless you are willing to swap identities with him. [6] /I-A ----^ ^-;;^^:^>ri^^i=N$;.^^x.^^^^.- - - »^ .^^^--^3.^^^ , A Cornfield Philosopher The most dangerous false doc- trine of all is the one that contains a large proportion of truth. Train your senses to detect the false; but better to be deceived sometimes than shut yourself up in a cloud of distrust. h 5 Don't judge himianity by the newspapers. The fact is, de- cency is so common nobody talks about it. Never hang the family wash on your neighbor's clotheslines, A dogmatic spirit kills social in- tercourse; but differences of opin- ion politely expressed often arouse both respect and esteem. The feet of the successful man are full of scars — and so are many others. [7] ^'^nJ^^^-^^^.^-- -.'^ y Nllti^ fi A Cornfield Philosopher He most loves God who has most faith in man. In the symphony of life we make V many discords; our hope is that f these will be forgot in the final harmony. While you are off picking pond- lilies somebody must spread the sandwiches. In attempting to interpret human motives, an author, as a usual thing, merely reflects his own so- cial and moral standards. The Tree of Industry bears little fruit unless its roots are irrigated by Intelligence. In whatever calling, skill pro- motes honesty. [8] --J^T?^ -;^^>* ,'^^ A Cornfield Philosopher Take the middle course, not be- cause you're sure its right, but because of the certainty that ex- tremes are wrong. What a fine thing it wotild be if the solar system could be delayed a few minutes so the people who are always late could catch up. Curiosity is sometimes so mean it will crawl through a rat hole to enter a neighbor's house. % The wise man profits by the mis- takes of others; the fool buys mining stock. Apologize to your guest and you make him feel that he's to blame. New political ideas like new dances often take with the mob — not because they are better, but because they are different. [9] -^ ^--^^-t^^rs^Xj^-v A Cornfield PMosopher Better take the wrong street than stand forever on the comer. Wisdom is a compound of yes- terday, today and tomorrow. People that brag have few friends, and they don't deserve any. Be a pattern of modest living; there's always some admiring idiot who will rob the family pxirse to ape extravagance. % The man who governs his con- duct by set nxles is most of the time without a guide. The highest art in conversation is to know what not to say. Marriage is never a failure — but sometimes the man or the woman is. [10] ^ry^ ^^^^-— ,/■• A Cornfield Philosopher Never send your hands on an errand when yoiir head will do as well. K a man can only be described by the word "gentleman" he is one. We should love our neighbors: especially the woman who drops in just to tell us in a friendly way all the mean things she has heard about us — and makes up some. If s a great relief to a fellow when he finds out he is not big enough for President. DonH imagine because you know how to sell calico you can run a sawmill. Five pound boxes of candy on a ten-dollar-a-week salary may be "generous," but it indicates a bean diet after the wedding. [11] \m Hi^ "P^ *^=>§c^c^^- ^x^^^- i;::^^>-^ A Comfidd Philosopher The great economic problem of the future is the utilizing of wasted energy — mostly himian. Never put your best foot for- ward; keep it up your sleeve. The Prodigal Son is always a reformer. >% IV \i If a man agrees with you it's a sure indication that he has good judgment. Want of business success is sometimes a mark of superior honesty. m The state is bound to support all paupers: it should therefore appoint guardians for all spend- thrifts. And what a saving of gasoline! f//i [12] :^-i>^' ^x>c<-^-^^^w---^ .^^^ ,'-:5'«> '^" ^^~'C^eS^5^;t:£Nss \ A Cornfield Philosopher The person who judges another by the clothes he wears would buy only the books that have red covers. Education does not imply in- telligence. Education covers only one or a few subjects; intelligence embraces all. Education is tech- nical and special, and has largely to do with processes; intelligence is broad and general, and concerns itself with results. We seek Truth hotfooted, ever to find that she lies hid just behind the horizon. Everybody hates the vices he hasnH got. Hardship is merely a point of view. [14] -Tr?^ ^^c^cv-^^ A Cornfield Philosopher Wi People who build " castles in Spain** usually live in rented houses. Many a youth has been driven to drink by a surfeit of good ad- vice. The greatest benefactor of the poor is one who teaches them to be content with simple things. No intelligent person is con- tinuously happy. Most uplift schemes are merely trophy-hunting expeditions. That^s why the wilderness is shy. Money can buy everything ex- cept what we most need. [15] m ^NsS^5^'^- j^".**." -.•>" A Cornfield Philosopher The Paris hat is naturally de- ^j^^^P^^^ vout. It always comes out strong ^ Ml \ for public worship. Health follows hard on the heels of happiness. EflBiciency means a giving up of all the joys of shiftlessness. International diplomacy is the art of living among thieves. The highest type of man is one who wants to do murder and doesnH. If you would have companion- ship, stay in the intellectual foot- hills. It is always lonely among the peaks. Love of money makes most of the virtues easy. [16] -;^-^<^rrt^<=>^^ - — ^:a^ \ ^i A Cornfield Philosopher K a man do you an injiiry seek him out, immediately, and forgive him. Otherwise you make him your enemy. K we knew all the facts we^d change most of our opinions. These are days when the frugal housewife goes without a sewing machine so that the family can have a touring car. In making speech always choose the words that keep good com- pany. Man's nature is an instrument of many octaves. Its higher tones mingle with the songs of Paradise ; its lower notes touch the Inferno. Our intellectual graveyards are largely filled with good ideas that have been worked to death. [17] m -^^■^^^^^^^s^-^^.-^ .^ _^^_-^:J^, ^<.::<> A Cornfield Philosopher ^i '' As the twig is bent the tree^s ^^^^ inclined." Therefore bend not the ^s^Y \ , twig. Let it grow straight toward heaven. Most souls live in prison cells and look at the world through col- ored windows. Beware the bite of the underdog. We're broad-minded all right, but hang the man who hasn't our habits. Our chief pleasure comes from the contemplation of happiness in others. What's the use of being wise? Nobody'll believe you. Any virtue may become a vice if carried to excess. [18] ''^^^ ^>^'' A Cornfield Philosopher Mrs, Feather Stitch and faimly have driven Intelligent Leisure from many a promising household. Fear often clothes itself in the garments of love. When with strained and eager ears we hark the music of the spheres, as they swing their end- less ways through regions of ce- lestial space, donH play the ac- cordion. A definite ambition is a source of power and promotes achieve- ment. An indefinite ambition causes only restlessness and dis- content. We greatly admire a perfect person, but when it comes to loving we are likely to choose somebody nearer our own size. [19] ^=^X5 ,/" m v% A Cornfield Philosopher Keep your eye on your tongue. It often takes a week to explain a blundering remark, and sometimes you canH. Many a man's most cherished principles are only a bundle of prejudices. If there were no rainy days we should never know the beauty of the sunshine. An afifected person sees admira- tion and envy in every eye, whereas it is only amusement and deri- sion. Yonder great mountain with its dazzling mantle of perpetual snow fills us with awe and wonder; but still we love the little hill that caps the gentle slopes of the home pasture. [20] I'a* •>V^ ~'Cl?^^i^ A Cornfield Philosopher :% The only way to accomplish any- thing in this world is to do the best you can and keep right on doing it. Dignity is a state of mind that doesn't like to have its head tousled. The people that really cotmt are the ones you seldom hear about. Whether a man be struggling up hill or running down, the world is likely to push him along. Petty jealousies are the vermin of the soul. Conclusions reached through logical reasoning are usually faulty. The explanation is that the major premise is seldom big enough. [22] -ar ^•»- _;;X- ^--J7T^?<.>^^ ' '-^-'C^^^i^^ta?-" (^ A Cornfield Philosopher The modem family circle con- sists of a man and a woman sitting aroimd a gas range. There are two kinds of gossips: those that tell good things about people and those that tell bad. Those that tell the good things will go to heaven. Start an argimient with brick- bats and your listeners will soon forget the point at issue and watch only for the size of the missiles. In the race for success always bet on the chap who started in life with a handicap. A house is never home until there's a patch in the carpet. Never judge a man by what he says; try and find out why he said it. [23] y^rx t^-'^^^^^^^^s^ . -^""^^^'c^-^^^<-2>^- A Cornfield Philosopher •% Keep your reputation below rather than above your merits. This doesn't signify that you shoxild rob a bank. If you think you have had a hard time, ask the next man you meet to tell you his story. Politeness opens the door to success oftener than ability. The only decent thing about a prize fight is the smile and hand- shake before the mill begins. Anybody can lead " the simple life" if he has plenty of money and all the modem conveniences. The man who never works more than eight hours a day will never be able to work less. Don't prescribe. When a man is sick he has trouble enough. [24] *^=^x^ .^^^ A Cornfield Philosopher Wear your old clothes part of the tune so you'll not be taken for one of the new rich. Don't repent. Put all your energy into doing the right thing next time. ^;^ There is no worse tyranny than the doctrine of the ** social debt." K we must return every courtesy in kind, then all invitations should be served by the sheriff. A fine dog is a good companion, but have no dealings with a pup. m If you judge your friends by the ideal person you have in your mind you will never have any. There is good and bad in every one. Love the good. In this way you can enjoy the society of a horse thief. [25] **>= 5^?s- <<<^^"^'^^^'^ ^ w -" ^^^' A Cornfield Philosopher A headline is a thing used by newspapers to indicate what the article doesn^t contain. The people are not to blame; it's the rascals who make it a business to keep them misin- formed. 1^7. The man who can't compromise should get a little rotmd world of his own. v-^i lU Don't waste time sympathizing. Help. Most good deeds are the prod- uct of mixed motives. But what of it? '(^^ It's a mean trick to blame the Devil when it is all our own fault. Heaven is the consciousness of having made the world a better place to live in. [26] 5^';:^>t^sc5s§%^ r^^ A Cornfield Philosopher 'Wh =5fc •5?^ A tactfid person is one who knows when to look the other way. In the childhood stage of mo- rality, fear of the dog has saved many an orchard. Worry is the Black Imp of the Intelligence family. His father is Cowardice, his mother of mixed blood. Give him the key to your understanding and he will change the fairest flowers of happiness into the dismal ashes of despair. Greatness in a man or pjrramid consists merely of a lot of small things systematically put together. When good people disagree the wicked dance holiday. A man may know the names of all the stars and not know beans< [27] m un «c^c^^^:^^^•^' ••-'' "-^-'C^^s^^aa,.- A Cornfield Philosopher A:->*^^ .''^ A Cornfield Philosopher :% An unpretending thief does small harm and should be mildly treated; but the public man who in speech or print designedly and for per- sonal ends spreads false opinions among confiding people should be put in prison for life and held up to the scorn of coming ages. K you would enjoy the taste of pie, live mostly on bread. If you are only agreeable, people will condone your faults and for- give your virtues. The sordid philosophy of the underworld lies hid under many a silken cloak of literary excellence. Keep too much in the limelight and somebody'll discover your long ears. [30] -ai --J^^ ;>-';>«. •*>$c««^r ,^'^':'^^^'CS^^^A:£sii fpvt ilMI A Cornfield Philosopher The world is a circus. The whole show is good, but we like the clowns best. Goodness is sometimes brought in disrepute because it keeps fool- ish company. Nothing entertains a group of admiring friends like a narration by husband or wife of such little connubial felicities as " The Story of the First Doughnut.'' K you would tmderstand na- ture's message go where the pebbly brook winds its way through a sim- kissed meadow — and look — and listen. There is no sure solution to many of the problems of every- day life. Our only guide must be common sense, aided by the most enlightened conscience of the times. [31] ■cT'^ =i«»J?r^N=>$Vss<^-v^^^^. ^^^'^ A Cornfield Philosopher There are two sorts of fashion- able people, the leaders and the followers — and the latter are the fools. Govermnent by Hysteria is the logical successor to Government by Greed. If a man is conceited we duck him in the pond; with a woman we use flattery — imless there's a chance to escape. Prosperity loves to linger in the land of the red clover and the yellow com. Scientists have discovered that you can't prove the brightness of a man's mind by the brilliance of his necktie. To partly solve the high cost of living, laws should be passed that all styles should remain effective for at least thirty days. [32] ::r;^ '^^^^TT^^^ ^sss ^^^^""^cs-^^^^-^- A Cornfield Philosopher Luxury costs only five cents. A ^>^^p^^ loaf of bread and a day's himger '^ _ |f > will do the turn. A man of high intelligence and great honesty rarely makes an at- tractive statesman. He is never one-sided enough to please the patriots. To battle with wrong is often a duty; but don't enter the fight imtil you are fit. We love our friends for the things they haven't got. A knowledge of social rules is highly important, but more im- portant is a knowledge of when to ignore them. DuUness and decorum are first cousins. [33] :r--=^ ^^^^^^^^^0y^<::Z^ A Cornfield Philosopher XA Old Git-a-Dollar is ambidex- trous. He can love a man with one hand and cheat him with the other. It's easy to get along with strangers, but when the relatives don't do as we want them to it makes a lot of trouble. If you are big enough to be un- conscious of your appearance, no- body will remember how you were dressed. If the office had sought the man, how many public officials would be in their present places? A fat head and a fat heart often follow a fat pocket. The time really to enjoy a sum- mer vacation is about the middle of January. [34] ^^R rr>s^ !♦•*. *>$fe ,y" A Cornfield Philosopher 7, If the man of straw should die, who would furnish fodder for the spellbinder? Mental capacity is not measured by the things we know, but by the things we are able to find out. Always live as if you expected to live always. The worth of a dollar and a book is the price of the book. Whom Satan would command he first makes melancholy. As well pass a coin in the high- way as a bit of information without making it your own. A silent person often speaks more impressively than one who talks. We fear and respect what we don't quite understand. [35] i^^ 'i\\] f//i -:^' ^^^ •^' " '^-'Ci^>^<::>^,.- A Comfidd Philosopher ft When Dame Fashion stalks down the street Modesty runs and hides. Only a foolish doctor would decide a man's ailment from a single symptom. It's all right to talk shop if youVe anything in the place that isn't moth-eaten. Tact is the trump card in the social game. The person with the shortest brain often has the longest tongue. This must be due to the law of compensation. The only way to reform a man is not to let him know it. For genuine philanthropy — the kind that's ready for personal sac- rifice — visit the abode of poverty. [40] ;^'^-;^T7^^<=>§j^ c^v-^ ^•*^%.*." >'^" ''^~'CS^^5^<::3^s.-' ;:5fc A Cornfield Philosopher An egotist is one whose eyes ^^^^^^^^ look in instead of out. -^ \i ^ Better a dinner of turnips where the dandelions grow than a broiled lobster among the tall chimneys. Appearances coimt for a good deal in the business world. Who would buy bananas of Bill Bryan or Bill Taft? Few men can stand prosperity. And yet we're all candidates. Vice is mostly virtue gone astray. Why doesn't some enterprising person arrange a " Cook's Tour of the Eating Houses"? That is what travel means to many people. Don't look at yourself through a microscope; you can see quite enough with the naked eye. [41] T?^ ^':^>:^:5^,^^-^. .^-^^ A Cornfield Philosopher I'^i Some think they can fool St. Peter by wearing black. How quiet it would be if nobody gave an opinion until he was asked. Ideas without words are as helpless as a wagon without wheels. Praise to some persons is like water to a mill. Neither will work without a steady supply. A man can usually find what he is looking for in this world — even a black eye. Intelligent conversation is one of the delights of social life — but give the rest of us a chance. To be a good newspaper writer, take one fact and dilute it in a column of words — and if you're clever you can often dispense with the fact. [42] T^-'^TJ^ s^^^ A G>mfield Philosopher A \ A statesman studies the faults of his people and tries to correct them: a politician finds out their prejudices and goes them one better. Better to do right from wrong motives, than wrong from right motives. Whether you lose your r,**^v**w* jwv *wwv. your soul is not significant, but how your acts affect others is of vital importance. Hold your head so high you can't see the shortcomings of others. Besides, it promotes digestion. Silence often punishes more keenly than epithet. The man who can laugh at his own sad plight is scheduled to win a future fight. [43] m =^x> •>v^ ./^ " '- ^Si^^^^i^s: A Cornfield Philosopher ^w Considering the crew she gen- erally carries, we should say the Ship of State was a mighty well built craft. The church and lodge should be training schools for that wonder- ful institution The Brotherhood of Man. A As a rule people demand grati- tude as payment for favors — and often the price is too high. Some adorn the inside of their heads — others the outside. Sunny today, sunny tomorrow, is the song of the shortsighted. Don't describe your weak points. They'll be found out soon enough. [44] :;;'-;:5>>^^-c2s§^.i^^ .-^^ A Cornfield Philosopher Reform is sometimes so eager to do good, it tries to right wrongs that do not exist. Some persons can lie as if they were telling the truth; some tell the truth as if they were lying. The feminine heart is full of compassion: many feed the poor; others give all they possess to spread the gospel of some fashion- able dressmaker. The good of giving must be meas- ured not by the motive but by the result. The next reform will be to abolish advertising. Time is not long enough to re- ward the sacrifices of many a tired mother. [45] 'a- '^=^scc^^^^^^-*'-" .--^'"^-^^'CS^^^<:: A Cornfield Philosopher A man is a solitary thing. Half his life he spends in trying to find out if there is anything in the universe just like himself. The rest of the time he is eating and sleeping. If you would learn the trick of popularity study the methods of the office-chaser. No one knows so well the power of the pleased elbow and the greeting eye. Most people overvalue the ac- quirements they do not possess — though with some it is different. God makes most of the men, but the tailors make some. A feminine monologue on the subject of husband and children is always a delight — to her. [46] '(i* .♦•V ,.^^'"''^~'Ci^^«^<: v% A Cornfield Philosopher Don't condemn a person for the friends he keeps; many a good man is the friend of bad ones, just as he should be. A contented woman is a joy in the house though she sometimes forgets to dam the socks. Don't be the slave of public opinion. Be the master. A new idea is as lonesome in some folks' heads as a robin in a snowstorm. Speaking of medals, why not give one to the woman who is happy in a four-dollar hat? Diversity of belief furnishes the landscape of our mental existence. If all the people we know thought exactly as we think, life would be as flat as the sea and as treeless as the Sahara. [47] yw\ '^^5^ A Cornf idd Philosopher >^ While we're busy reorganizing the universe, let's invent some kind of a dollar that will come back in the night. No act is wrong which adds to the world's happiness. No act is right which fails. It you can't look pleasant, run along home. Don't spoil the party. Don't tell a man he looks nice if you value his friendship. Don't fail to tell a woman if you value hers. In too many reforms revenge and tyranny are mixed with philan- thropy. When you weep enter into your closet, and when you have shut the door weep on your own shoulder. [48] m r-^^^ *25^^vs^^^^ .-"^ ••^v^ " '^-'3^^j\;to5o.-' A Cornfield Philosopher Some of these uplift magazines shoxxld publish expurgated editions for the young. Eternity is the distance between a hxmgry boy and supper time. Always stand by your principles : this does not mean that you should smash the jaw of every man who disagrees with you. A It is a mark of great confidence to be admitted to a friend's house. We should never tell what we saw there or heard. fa^ There are persons who would ** shake " with an earthquake if it was etiquette. Piety weeps and talks. Mor- ality laughs and does things. [49] '— '•-5. ^^^x>c=.--^-^^^.^-- rX' A Cornfield Philosopher fe The distinction between a civil- ized man and a savage is mostly a matter of paint. If you wish to avoid mistakes never do anything. It is not wealth but the arro- gance of wealth that offends the poor. We are likely to criticize in others those qualities that are lack- ing in ourselves. It is through the presence of flaws that we learn to appreciate perfection. Doing a thing from mere sense of duty is like eating when you are not himgry. Plumes and white horses are out of fashion, dear maid. The mod- em prince wears overalls and rides a box car. [50] —2?^ *=n5:xsc^^^--^^-*" ^^^' A Cornfield Philosopher \Mi VI A philosopher is a man who puts ^^^^M^^^ on his gymnasium suit and thinks -^ V \ when nobody's looking. " Hitch your wagon to a star " if you've a mind to, but you'll get a better living with a span of mules. Judging from some of this recent worry about the human race, it seems a wonder we've kept going these last himdred thousand years or so. Service to Man is the melting pot of all the Religions. Just where to draw the line be- tween selfishness and altruism is an xmsolved problem of personal morals. Economy fills the cellar, travagance fills the attic. [51] .^^- -^^^C^M^^<:<>^ A Cornfield Philosopher Morality consists of doing things that make the world better. The trouble is we can't agree on how it shall be done. A man that prides himself on never changing his mind hasn't much^ •^^i Most of our moods are bom of suggestion. That's why we love a happy person. Opportunity never knocks at the door of the imprepared. h Don't spend all your social coin on first impressions. Keep a little to jingle in your pockets. The comer stone of the Happy Home is made of bread and pota- toes, [52] •^^N^ r^" A Cornfield Philosopher •=Vi h Our friend Begood is sometimes inclined to overwork. U he would take a day off once in a while and go out and watch the games he wotild live longer and be a lot more agreeable. When the thtmders roll and the lightnings flash and the hurri- canes roar, stand pat. There is so much charm in good- fellowship, it is not strange we sometimes yield to the imitation. Most of our happiness comes from the fruition of hopes yet un- realized. '(^^ ^--s^; ! ^5^: It is not charitable to give imless you have assurance that the re- cipient of your boimty will obtain a benefit. [53] S\vsS^>^>^-^^-.-- ^>vi '--^-'5i^>^<::>s-- A Cornfield Philosopher \Mi Nobody objects to a woman^s acting like a man if she acts like a gentleman. The principal value of learning is to place us beyond the influ- ence of quacks — especially the religious. Some people had rather be pitied than have good health. K youVe mortgaged the future to buy folly, don't complain when the foreclosure comes. Any good movement is likely to be killed if some fool picks himself to carry the baimer. It's not what we do for people, but what we are to them, that helps. [54] Mi ':y^-'^«.^T,;i^S^^ ,/" "^-'Ci^i^<:^J A Cornfield Philosopher We are bom pine or oak, but whether we go to a factory or stay in the log pile depends largely on ourselves. When charity feeds the lame the lazy always limp. Everybody believes in God, but some are afraid he won't find it out If we should conduct ourselves by the rules we lay down for others, the Millennium would soon arrive. The only way to get a thing done is to neglect everything else. Ignorance and Selfishness are the twin evils of the xmiverse. "Money talks," but usually it says the wrong thing. [55] y /I I ^>^' " -^-'3^j^ A Cornfield Philosopher Don't complain of high prices when you can buy a thirty-dollar bonnet for six barrels of flour. How foolish it is to be generous when nobody's looking, K youVe nothing to say, talk about yourself. ;^ Most people live on borrowed brains — and nearly always they borrow the wrong kind. None of these remarks apply to you, but a lot of them were meant for that fool neighbor of yours. The best place to sprout a family tree is in the family washtub. Pleasure is bought with pain — and you needn't expect much less you are willing to *^^^' price. [56] un- pay the *^=^N> — -^-^C^^^^<-5^-* >^ A A Comfidd Philosopher When you want to hire help hang out a sign, so as not to em- barrass the " unemployed." If you wish to be a success so- cially, don't try. Some are suited with a coat of arms, but almost everyone prefers wool. When a big man gets money he becomes a philanthropist. When a little one gets it he turns snob. Never tell a lie. Rarely tell the truth. A "lucky coin'* is one that wants to live in a savings bank. Almost anybody can be honest after dinner. [57] >nf\ "Ft^s, ^**N^>«c^^■«^-^^^•'- ,^^^ \ A Cornfield Philosopher It takes a hundred years to learn how to live, and then you're dead. It's a heavy tax upon some young people to live up to the wedding gifts. Our wants are like weeds in a June garden: destroy one and two take its place. A Books are marvelous things; but the greatest book of all is the htiman heart. Learn to read that and you will know all poetry, all religion, aU philosophy. f/ Get all the pleasure possible out of today; but a part of that pleas- ure should consist of planning pleasure for other days. [58] '//7\i ^>^' - <^ ""-'^'^-'^^j'*^^ LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 015 937 202 9