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THE
BENTLEY BALLADS.
CONTAINING
THE CHOICE BALLADS, SONGS AND POEMS CONTRIBUTED TO
" BENTLEY's MISCELLANY."
LONDON:
RICHARD BENTLEY, NEW BURLINGTON STREET.
1862.
ADVERTISEMENT
TO THE NEW EDITION.
In introducing a New Edition to the public, the
Publisher of " The Bentley Ballads" is desirous of
calling attention to the new features which distinguish
it from the former, and which, in reality, constitute it
an entirely new Work.
The first edition was selected from only six volumes of
" Bentley's Miscellany"— from 1837 to 1840 ; the present
includes all the most famous Songs and Ballads contri-
buted to that celebrated magazine during a period of
eighteen years, from 1837 to 1855.
This Volume, it is believed, will be found worthy of a
place in every library ; for, perhaps, no single work in
English modern literature exhibits such diversity of talent
as these songs of love and sentiment, wit and humour, by
the most popular authors of England, Scotland, Ireland,
IV ADVERTISEMENT.
and America. It is only necessary to mention the names of
Prout, Maginn, Lover, Ingoldsby, Longfellow, and the
Irish Whiskey -Drinker, to give an idea of the rich store
of entertainment contained in the following pages.
London,
February, 1861.
CONTENTS.
Page
Old Morgan at Panama, by G. E. Inman. • • 1
The Sabine Farmer's Serenade, by Father Prout 12
Laud ye the Monks ! by William Jones. . . . .19
The Legend of Manor Hall, by the Author of " Headlong Hall." . 22
The " Original" Dragon. . . 29
The Temptations of St. Anthony. 33
A Tale of Grammarye. • . .43
The Red-breast of Aquitania, by Father Prout 51
The Son to his Mother, by Samuel Lover 58
Impromptu by the late George Colman 60
The Monks of Old, by William Jones 61
Our Opening Chaunt. ........ 63
To the Hard-hearted Molly Carew, by S. Lover and Father Prout. 67
The Grand Cham of Tartary and the Humble-Bee ... 74
Paddy Blake's Echo. . . 77
Impromptu, by C. J. Davids 79
Haroun Alraschid, by G. E. Inman 80
To the Hot Wells of Clifton 89
The Dumb Waiter 91
The Bottle of St. Januarius, by P. Prout 92
The Rising Periodical 93
The Song of the Cover, by Dr. Maginn. • . . 96
VI
CONTENTS.
Who are you ? • • • •
Epigram, by S. Lover. . . •
Leary the Piper's Lilt. . . •
Song of the Month, by P. Prout.
Song of the Old Bell.
" Be Quiet— do ! I'll call my Mother !"
Old Mountain Dew, by Charles Mackay.
Rev. Sydney Smith
The Piper's Progress, by P. Prout. .
The Useful Young Man, by W. Collier.
Madrigal of the Seasons. . • •
Siege of Belgrade
The Double Barrel, by Father Prout. .
Friar Laurence and Juliet, by Thomas Haynes Bayley.
The Phantom Ship, by Ellen Pickering.
Poetical Epistle from Father Prout to Boz, by Father Prout
A Song for a Stormy Night, by Charles Mackay.
Sardanapalus
The Memory of the Poets, by T. N. Talfourd.
Burns and Beranger, by Father Prout.
The Voices of the Night, by H. W. Longfellow.
Thoughts on Patrons, Puffs, and other matters, by Tom
Richelieu ; or, the Conspiracy
Song of a Eifleman, by the Author of " Vincent Eden.
Invitation to an Evening Walk, by J. A Wade.
The Forest Tree
The Evening Star, by H. W. Longfellow. . .
Song to the Thames, by Charles Mackay. . •
The Blind Girl of Castel Cuille, by Lady Georgiana Fullerton
The Mockings of the Soldiers, by Dr. Maginn.
A Classical Ode.
To a Fountain in Hymettus, by Edward Kenealy.
Wreck of the Hesperus, by H. W. Longfellow.
Light, by Dion L. Bourcicault. .
Moore.
CONTENTS. VU
Page
The Fisherman's Dwelling, by Heinrich Heine. • • • • 205
The Ascents of Mont Blanc, by Albert Smith 206
The Village Blacksmith, by Henry W. Longfellow. • • .309
The Donnybrook Jig, by Dillon • .211
Taglioni 215
Cupid in London, by It. More 218
The Mistletoe, by Father Prout. 222
The Greek Poet's Dream, by Edward Kenealy • • . .226
My Soldier-Boy, by Dr. Maginn 230
t is not always May, by H. W. Longfellow. • • . . 231
Lines on Geneva, by Albert Smith 233
Love and Care 235
The Lass of Albany, by Robert Burns 237
Endymion, by H. W. Longfellow 239
Evening Song of the Normandy Fishermen, by W. Jones. . . 241
To ***** , by Edward Kenealy 243
The Rainy Day, by H. W. Longfellow. 246
To , by Father Prout 247
The Ides of March, by Father Prout 248
Cupid, by Edward Kenealy. 250
To my Daughters, by Dr. Maginn 252
My Nora ! by T. J. Ouseley 253
Song o' Roland, by W. Cooke Taylor. 254
Leather away with the Oak- Stick, by the Irish Whiskey-Drinker. 256
Excelsior, by H. W. Longfellow 259
Elegy in a London Theatre. 261
Unfinished Lines upon my Library, by Robert Southey. . . 265
The War-Song of the Gallant Eighty-Eighth, by the Irish Whiskey-
Drinker 267
The Expedition to Pontarlin • • . 269
The Siege of Hensburgh, by John Ryan, L.L.D 272
Brian O'Lynn, by the Irish Whiskey-Drinker 276
Old Time, by George Linnaeus Banks. 279
The Norman Peasant's Hymn to the Virgin, by William Jones . 28 1
Vlll CONTENTS.
Page
The Quiet Hour, by T. J. Ouseley 283
The Christening of Her Royal Highness the Princess Alice Maude,
by the Irish Whiskey-Drinker 284
A Lyric for Christmas, by W. G. J. Barker 287
The Genius of Theocritus 290
To the Spirit of the Flowers .293
A Merry and Marvellous Ditty on the Mountain Dew, by the Irish
Whiskey-Drinker 296
Endurance, by the Rev. W. B. Flower, B.A. .... 302
Spring, by W. C. Taylor 3i4
Sonnet from Petrarch. * 306
Owed to my Creditors, by Alfred Crowquill 337
Farewell Winds and Wintry Weather, by the Irish Whiskey-
Drinker 309
Forget me Not. 311
The Heart's Misgivings, by Cuthbert Bede 313
Irene of Sestos, by W. G. J. Barker 317
Railway Dactyls 324
A Game at St. Stephen's Chapel, by the Rt. Hon. George Canning. 327
The Enthusiast Dead, by J. H. Reynolds 331
King Charles of Spain 333
A Dying Wife to her Husband 336
The Coral Caves, by G. Linnaeus Banks. ..... 338
Song of the People 339
lone . . . . .343
A Letter from an Old Country House, by Albert Smith. . . 344
The Praises of Colonos, by Cuthbert Bede 348
The Danish Seaman's Song .351
Oh ! Let Me Love Thee ! 353
The Bold Sea Wave, by G. Linnaeus Banks 354
The Brook, by Alfred B. Street . .355
Old Grumbleton 357
Dirge 360
A Song of Como the Beautiful, by Theresa C. I. West. . . 362
CONTENTS. IX
Pagft
Advice to Lovers 366
Emma and Eginard. . 367
My Winter Eoom, by Alfred B. Street. . . . . . 386
The Dane and his King, by Hans Christian Andersen. . . . 389
The Warden of the Cinque Ports, by W. H. Longfellow. . . 391
APoet'sLove 393
The Gipsey . 395
The Cloud in the Honeymoon - . . . 396
The Churchyard at Cambridge, by W. H. Longfellow. . . . 403
Song from the Gaelic, by W. H. Maxwell 405
In Saram, by G. K. Gillespie, A.M.. 406
Yes and No 412
A Ballad of Sir John Franklin 414
My Portrait, by Mary Russell Mitford. 420
Field-Preaching, by Julia Day . .421
Sempre lo stesso, by H. T. Tuckerman 423
The Two Angels, by W. H. Longfellow. 424
The Shoe. 426
The Tomb of Glory, by Eta 429
The Cobbler of Toledo 431
As I lay a-thynkynge, by Thomas Ingoldsby 450
THE
BENTLEY BALLADS.
OLD MOKGAJ5T AT PANAMA.
In tlie hostel-room we were seated in gloom, old Morgan's
trustiest crew ;
No mirthful sound, no jest went round, as it erst was
wont to do.
Wine we had none, and our girls were gone, for the last
of our gold was spent ;
And some swore an oath, and all were wroth, and stern
o'er the table bent ;
Till our chief on the board hurl'd down his sword, and
spake with his stormy shout,
" Hell and the devil ! an' this be revel, we had better arm
and out.
Let us go and pillage old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !"
B
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
II.
Straight at tlie word each girt on his sword, five hundred
men and more ;
And we clove the sea in our shallops free, till we reach'd
the mainland shore.
For many a day overland was our way, and our hearts
grew weary and low,
And many would back on their trodden track, rather than
farther go ;
But the wish was quell' d, though our hearts rebell'd, by
old Morgan's stormy roar, —
" The way ye have sped is farther to tread, than the way
which lies before."
So on we march'd upon Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
in.
'Twasjust sunset when our eyes first met the sight of the
town of gold ;
And down on the sod each knelt to his god, five hundred
warriors bold ;
Each bared his blade, and we fervent pray'd (for it might
be our latest prayer),
" Ransom from hell, if in fight we fell, — if we lived, for a
booty rare !"
And each as he rose felt a deep repose, and a calm o'er all
within ;
For he knew right well, whatever befell, his soul was
assoil'd from sin.
Then down we march'd on old Panama
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
IV.
The town arose to meet us as foes, and in order beheld us
come ; —
They were three to one, but warriors none, — traders, and
such like scum,
Unused to wield either sword or shield ; but they p]ied
their new trade well.
I am not told how they bought and sold, but they fought
like fiends of hell.
They fought in despair for their daughters fair, their
wives, and their wealth, God wot !
And throughout the night made a gallant fight, — but it
matter'd not a jot.
For had we not sworn to take Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers ?
v.
O'er dying and dead the morn rose red, and o'er streets of
a redder dye ;
And in scatter'd spots stood men in knots, who would not
yield or fly.
With souls of fire they bay'd our ire, and parried the hurl
and thrust ;
But ere the sun its noon had won they were mingled with
the dust.
Half of our host in that night we lost, — but we little for
that had care ;
We knew right well that each that fell increased the
survivor's share
Of the plunder we found in old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
b 2
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
VI.
We found bars of gold, and coin untold, and gems which
to count were vain ;
We had floods of wine, and girls divine, the dark-eyed
girls of Spain.
They at first were coy, and baulk' d our joy, and seem'd
with their fate downcast,
And wept and groan' d, and shriek' d and swoon'd ; but
'twas all the same at last.
Our wooing was short, of the warrior's sort, and they
thought it rough, no doubt ;
But, truth to tell, the end was as well as had it been
longer about.
And so we revell'd in Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
VII.
We lived in revel, sent care to the devil, for two or three
weeks or so,
When a general thought within us wrought that 'twas
getting time to go.
So we set to work with dagger and dirk to torture the
burghers hoar,
And their goid conceal' d compell'd them to yield, and add
to our common store.
And whenever a fool of the miser school declared he ha,d
ne'er a groat,
In charity due we melted a few, and pour'd them down
his throat.
This drink we invented at Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
Till.
When the churls were eased, their bags well squeezed, we
gave them our blessing full fain,
And we kiss'd our girls with the glossy curls, the dark-
eyed girls of Spain ;
Our booty we shared, and we all prepared for the way we
had to roam,
"When there rose a dispute as to taking our route by land
or by water home.
So one half of the band chose to travel by land, the other
to travel by sea :
Old Morgan's voice gave the sea the choice, and I folio w'd
his fortunes free,
And hasten' d our leaving old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
IX.
A bark we equipp'd, and our gold we shipp'd, and gat us
ready for sea ;
Seventy men, and a score and ten, mariners bold were
we.
Our mates had took leave, on the yester-eve, their way
o'er the hills to find,
When, as morning's light pierced through the night, we
shook her sails to the wind.
With a fresh'ning breeze we walk'd the seas, and the land
sunk low and low'r ;
A dreary dread o'er our hearts there sped we never should
see land more —
And away we departed from Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
For a day or two we were busy enow in setting ourselves
to rights,
In fixing each berth, our mess, and so forth, and the day's
watch and the night's ;
But when these were done, oyer every one came the lack
of aught to do,
We listless talk'd, we listless walk'd, and we pined for
excitement new.
Oh ! how we did hail any shift in the gale, for it gave us
a sail to trim !
We began to repent that we had not bent our steps with
our comrades grim.
And thus we sail'd on from old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
XI.
Bay after day we had stagger'd away, with a steady breeze
abeam ;
Kb shift in the gale ; no trimming a sail ; how dull we
were, ye may deem !
We sung old songs till we wearied our lungs ; we push'd
the flagon about ;
Vnd told and re-told tales ever so old, till they fairly
tired us out.
There was a shark in the wake of our bark took us three
days to hook ;
And when it was caught we wish'd it was not, for wo
miss'd the trouble it took.
And thus we sail'd on from old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
XII.
At last it befell, some tempter of liell put gambling in
some one's head ;
The devil's device, the cards and the dice, broke the
stagnant life we led :
From morn till night, ay, till next mom's light, we plied
the bones right well ;
Day after day the rattle of play clatter' d through the
caravel.
How the winners langh'd, how the losers quaff' d ! 'twas
a madness, as it were.
It was a thing of shuddering to hark to the losers swear.
And thus we sail'd on from old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
XIII.
From morn till night, ay, till next morn's light, for weeks
the play kept on :
'Twas fearful to see the winners' glee, and the losers
haggard and wan ;
You well might- tell, by their features fell, they would ill
brook to be crost ;
And one morn there was one, who all night had won
jeer'd some who all night had lost.
He went to bed — at noon he was dead — I know not from
what, nor reck ;
But they spake of a mark, livid and dark, about the dead
man's neck !
And thus we sail'd on from old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
8 OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
XIV.
This but begun : and those who had won lived a life of
anxious dread ;
Day after day there was bicker and fray ; and a man now
and then struck dead.
Old Morgan stern was laugh'd to scorn, and it worried his
heart, I trow ;
Five days of care, and his iron-grey hair was as white as
the winter's snow :
The losers at last his patience o'erpast, for they drew
their sword each one,
And cried, with a shout, " Hell take you ! come out, and
fight for the gold ye have won —
The gold that our blood bought at Panama :
We, the mighty Buccaneers I"
xv.
We never were slow at a word and a blow, so we cross'd
our irons full fain ;
And for death and life had begun the strife, when old
Morgan stopp'd it amain,
And thunder' d out with his stormy shout, — " Dogs, ye
have had your day !
To your berths!" he roar'd. "Who sheaths not his
sword, Heaven grant him its grace, I pray !
For I swear, by God, I will cleave him like wood !" There
was one made an angry sign ;
Old Morgan heard, and he kept his word ; for he clove
him to the chine.
So ended his exploits at Panama :
He, the mighty Buccaneer !
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
XVI.
At this we quail'd, and we henceforth sail'd, in a
smouldering sort of truce ;
But onr dark brows gloom' d, and we inward fumed for a
pretext to give us loose :
When early one morn — " A strange sail astern !" we heard
the look-out-man hail ;
And old Morgan shout, " Put the ship about, and crowd
every stitch of sail !"
And around went we, surging through the sea at our island
wild buck's pace ;
In wonderment what old Morgan meant, we near'd to the
fated chase —
We, the pillagers of old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
XVII.
She went right fast, but we took her at last. 'Twas a
little brigantine thing ;
With some four men for crew, and a boy or two — a bark
built for trafficking ;
Besides this crew were three women, too : her freight was
salt-fish and oil :
For the men on board, they were put to the sword ; the
women we spared awhile.
And all was surmise what to do with the prize, when old
Morgan, calling us aft,
Eoar'd, " Ye who have fool'd yourselves out of your gold
take possession of yonder craft,
And go pillage some other Panama,
Ye, the mighty Buccaneers I"
10 OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA.
XVIII.
We were reckless and rude, we had been at feud till 'twas
war to the very knife ;
But it clove each heart when we came to part from
comrades in many a strife :
Over one and all a gloom seem'd to fall, and in silence
they pack'd their gear,
Amid curses and sighs, and glistening eyes, and here and
there a tear.
We gave brooches and things for keepsakes and rings ; and
some truck' d the weapons they wore :
This Spanish gun was a token from one who had fought
me a week before,
While we diced for the spoils of old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
XIX.
Their traps all pack'd, there was nothing lack'd, but sharing
the women three :
The odd one's choice was left to the dice, and she fell to
the rich so free ;
When the losers 'gan swear the dice were unfair, and
brawl' d till our chief gat wild,
And, without more ado, cut the woman in two, as Solomon
shared the child.
Then each of each band shook each old mate's hand, and
we parted with hearts full sore ;
We all that day watch' d them lessen away. They were
never heard of more !
We kept merrily on from old Panama,
We, the mighty Buccaneers !
OLD MORGAN AT PANAMA. 11
XX.
Their sufferings none know, but ours, I trow, were very,
oh ! very sore ;
We had storm and gale till our hearts 'gan fail, and then
calms, which harass' d us more ;
Then many fell sick ; and while all were weak, we rounded
the fiery cape ;
As I hope for bliss in the life after this, 'twas a miracle
our escape !
Then a leak we sprung, and to lighten us, flung all our
gold to the element :
Our perils are past, and we're here at last, but as penniless
as we went.
And such was the pillage of Panama
By the mighty Buccaneers !
G. E. Inman.
Morgan, who was the son of a Welsh Farmer, and who lived to be
knighted, set out from Chagres with twelve hundred men, on the 18th
August, 1670. In ten days he reached Panama, which he at once
attacked and destroyed. The Buccaneers left the ruins with a hundred
and seventy-five beasts of burden, laden with silver, gold, and other
precious articles ; and with six hundred unhappy prisoners, men,
women, children, and slaves. — Ed.
12
THE SABINE FAEMEE'S SEEENADE.
BEING A NEWLY RECOVERED FRAGMENT OF A LATIN OPLRA.
Erat turbida nox
Hora secnnda man
Q-uando proruit vox
Carmen in hoc inane ;
Viri misera mens
Meditabatur hymen,
Hinc pnellse flens
Stabat obsidens limen ;
Semel tantum die
JEris nostra Lalage ;
Ne recuses sic
Dulcis Julia Callage.
II.
Planctibns anrem fer,
Yenere tn formosior ;
Die, hos nraros per,
Tno favore potior !
Yoce beatnm fac ;
En, dnm dormis, vigilo,
Nbcte obambulans hac
Donmin planctu stridulo.
13
THE SABINE EAEMEE'S SEEENADE.
r.
'Twas on a windy night,
At two o'clock in the morning,
An Irish lad so tight,
All wind and weather scorning,
At Judy Callaghan's door, 4
Sitting upon the palings,
His love-tale he did pour,
And this was part of his wailings
Only say
You'll be Mrs. BrallagJian ;
Don't say nay,
Charming Judy Callaghan,
11.
Oh ! list to what I say,
Charms you've got like Yenus ;
Own your love you may,
There's but the wall between us.
Tou lie fast asleep
Snug in bed and snoring ;
Bound the house I creep,
Your hard heart imploring.
]4 THE SABINE FARMER' S SERENADE.
Semel tantum die
Eris nostra Lalage ;
Ne recuses sic,
JDulcis Julia Callage.
in.
Est milii prsegnans sus,
Et porcellis stabulum ;
Villula, grex, et rus 1
Ad vaccarum pabulum ;
Feriis cerneres me
Splendido vestimento,
Tunc, heus ! quam bene te
Veherem in jumento ! 2
Semel tantum die
Eris nostra Lalage ;
Ne recuses sic,
Dulcis Julia Callage.
IV.
Vis poma terrse ? sum
Uno dives jugere ;
Vis lac et mella, 3 cum
Bacchi succo, 4 sugere ?
Vis aquse-vitse vim ? 5
Plumoso somnum sacculo ? 8
Vis ut paratus sim
Vel annulo vel baculo ? 7
Semel tantum die
Eris nostra Lalage ;
Ne recuses sic,
Dulcis Julia Callage.
THE SABINE FARMERS SERENADE. 15
Only say
You'll have Mr. Brallaghan;
Don't say nay,
Charming Judy Callaghan.
in.
I've got a pig and a sow,
I've got a sty to sleep 'em ;
A calf and a brindled cow,
And a cabin too, to keep 'em ;
Sunday hat and coat,
An old grey mare to ride on.
Saddle and bridle to boot,
Which yon may ride astride on.
Only say
You'll be Mrs. Brallaghan;
Don't say nay,
Charming Judy Callaghan.
IV.
I've got an acre of ground,
I've got it set with praties ;
I've got of 'baccy a pound,
I've got some tea for the ladies ;
I've got the ring to wed,
Some whisky to make us gaily ;
I've got a feather-bed
And a handsome new shilelagh.
Only say
You'll have Mr. Brallaghan;
Don't say nay,
Charming Judy Callaghan,
16 THE SABINE FARMERS SERENADE.
Litteris operam das ;
Lucido fudges oculo ;
Dotes insuper quas
Nummi sunt in loculo.
Novi qnod apta sis 8
Ad procreandam sobolem!
Possides (nesciat quis ?)
Linguani satis mobilem. 9
Semel tantum die
Eris nostra Lalage ;
Ne recuses sic,
Dulcis Julia Callage.
Conjnx utinam til
Fieres, lepidum cor, mi !
Halitum perdimus, heu,
Te sopor nrget. Dormi !
Ingruit imber trux —
Jam sub tecto pellitur
Is quem crastina lux 10
Referet hue fideliter.
Semel tandem die
Eris nostra Lalage ;
Ne recuses sic,
Dulcis Julia Callage.
Father Prout,
THE SABINE FARMERS SERENADE. 17
You've got a charming eye,
You've got some spelling and reading ;
You've got, and so have I,
A taste for genteel breeding ;
You're rich, and fair, and young,
As everybody's knowing ;
You've got a decent tongue
Whene'er 'tis set a-going,
Only say
You'll be Mrs. Brallaghan ;
Don't say nay,
Charming Judy Gallaghan.
VI.
For a wife till death
I am willing to take ye ;
But, och ! I waste my breath,
The devil himself can't wake ye.
'Tis just beginning to rain,
So I'll get under cover ;
To-morrow I'll come again,
And be your constant lover.
Only say
You'll be Mrs. Brallaghan ;
Don't say nay,
Charming Judy Callaghan.*
* The above English lines are a portion of a ballad by the late
Tom Hudson, grocer, publican, and vocalist. — Ed.
18
THE SABINE FARMER S SERENADE.
NOTUL.E
Notul. 1.
1° in voce rus. Nonne potius
legendum jus, scilicet ad vacca-
rum pabuh
Notul. 5.
Aqum-vita. vim, Anglo-Hyber-
nice, " a power of whisky," ur^us
De hoc jure apud scilicet, vox pergraeca. — Parr.
Sabinos agricolas consule Scrip-
tores de re rusticd passim. Ita
Bentleius.
Jus irao antiquissimum, at dis-
Notul. 6.
Plumoso sacco. Plumarutti
congeries certe ad somnos invitan-
dos satis apt a ; at mihi per mul-
plicet vox aequivoca ; jus etenim tos annos laneus iste saccus, Ang.
a mess of pottage aliquando audit, woolsack, fuit apprime ad dormi-
9X. gr. endum idoneus. Lites etiam de
Omne suum fratri Jacob jus ven- land ut aiunt caprind, soporiferas
didit Esau, per annos xxx. exercui. Quot et
Et Jacob fratri jus dedit omne quam praeclara sornnia ! — Eidon.
suum. Notul. 7.
Itaque, pace Bentleii, stet lectio Investitura "per annulum et
prior. — Prout.
Notul. 2.
Veherem in jumento. Curri-
culo-ne ? an pone sedentem in
equi dorso ? dorsaliter plane
Quid enim dicit Horatius de — Mag
uxore sic vecta ? Nonne " Post
equitem sedet atra euro.
Porson.
Notul. 3.
baculum" satis nota. Vide P.
Marca de Concord. Sacerdotii et
Imperii: et Hil.lebrandi Pont.
Max. bullarium. — J'rout.
Baculo certe dignissim. pontif.
Notul. 8.
Apta sis. Quomodo noverit ?
Vide Proverb. Solomonis cap. xxx.
v. 19. Nisi forsan tales fuerint
Lac et mella. Metaphorice pro puellae Sabinorum quales impu-
tea ; muliebris est compotatio dens iste balatro Connelius menti-
Graecis non ignota, teste Ana-
creonte, —
BEHN, deav fcaivrjv,
QeXco Xeyeiv eraipui, k.t A.
Brougham.
Notul. 4.
tur esse nostrates. — Blomfeld.
Notul. 9.
Linguam mobilem. Prius enu-
merat futurae conjugis bona irnmo-
bilia, postea transit ad mobilia,
Anglice, chattel property. Prae-
Bucchi succo. Duplex apud clarus ordo sententiarum I— Car.
poetas antiquiores habebatur hu- Wethera.ll.
nomims rmmen. Vineam
prius ; posterius cuidam
jusce
re
herbse exoticae prseerat quae tobacco
audit. Succus utrique optimus-
— Coleridge.
Notul. 10.
Allusio ad distichon Maronianum,
" Nocte pluit tota, redeunt spec-
tacula mane." — Prout.
K. T. > -
i
19
LAUD YE THE MOJSTKS!
Laud ye the monks !
They were not men of a creed austere,
Who frown' d on mirth, and forbade good cheer ;
But joyous oft were the brotherhood,
In the depths of their sylvan solitude.
The ruin'd abbey hath many a tale
Of their gay conceits and deep wassail ;
The huge hearth, left to the wreck of time,
Hath echoed of erst the minstrel's chime ;
The caves, despoil' d of their goodly store,
Have groan' d 'neath their weight in days of yore !
Laud ye the monks !
The wand'rer was their welcome guest,
The weary found in their grey walls rest ;
The poor man came, and they scorn'd him not,
Fro rank and wealth were alike forgot ;
The peasant sat at the plenteous board
With the pilgrim knight and the feudal lord ;
The feast was spread, and the foaming bowl
Gave freshen' d life to the thirsty soul ;
Round it pass'd, from the prince to the hind,
The fathers adding their greeting kind !
c 2
20 LAUD YE THE MONKS !
Laud ye the monks !
Many a blazon' d scroll doth prove
The pains they took in their work of love 5
Many a missal onr thoughts engage
With scenes and deeds of a bygone age ;
Many a hallowing minster still
Attests the marvels of olden skill !
The broken shaft, or the altar razed,
The mould'ring fane, where onr sires have praised,
Are beantifnl, even amidst decay,
Blessing the men who have pass'd away !
Land ye the monks !
For they were friends of the poor and weak.
The prond man came to their footstool meek,
And many an acre broad and good
Was the forfeit paid for his curbless mood : —
The penance hard, and the peasant's ban,
Would make him think of his fellow-man ;
The mass and dirge for his parting soul
Would wring for the needy a welcome dole.
The cowl bow'd not to the noble's crest,
But kings would yield to the priest's behest !
Laud ye the monks !
Tranquil and sweet was monastic life,
Free from the leaven of worldly strife ;
The desolate found a shelter there,
A home secure from the shafts of care !
Many a heart with sorrow riven
Would learn to dream of a shadeless heaven !
LAUD TE THE MONKS
21
And plenty smiled where the convent rose,
The herald of love and deep repose ;
The only spot where the arts gave forth
The hope of a glorious age to earth !
William Jones.
22
THE LEGEND OF MANOK HALL.
BY THE AUTHOR OE " HEADLONG HALL/
Old Farmer Wall, of Manor Hall,
To market drove his wain :
Along the road it went well stowed
With sacks of golden grain.
His station he took, hut in vain did he look
For a customer all the morn ;
Though the farmers all, save Farmer Wall,
They sold off all their corn.
Then home he went, sore discontent,
And many an oath he swore,
And he kicked up rows with his children and spouse,
When they met him at the door.
Next market-day he drove away
To the town his loaded wain :
The farmers all, save Farmer Wall,
They sold off all their grain.
THE LEGEND OP MANOR HALL. 23
No bidder lie found, and lie stood astound
At the close of the market-day,
When the market was done, and the chapmen were gone
Each man his several way.
He stalked by his load along the road ;
His face with wrath was red :
His arms he tossed, like a good man crossed
In seeking his daily bread.
His face was red, and fierce was his tread,
And with lusty voice cried he,
" My corn I'll sell to the devil of hell,
If he'll my chapman be."
These words he spoke just under an oak
Seven hundred winters old ;
And he straight was aware of a man sitting there
On the roots and grassy mould.
The roots rose high, o'er the green-sward dry,
And the grass around was green,
Save just the space of the stranger's place,
Where it seemed as fire had been.
All scorched was the spot, as gipsy-pot
Had swung and bubbled there :
The grass was marred, the roots were charred,
And the ivy stems were bare.
24) THE LEGEND OF MANOK HALL.
The stranger up-sprung : to the farmer lie flung
A loud and friendly hail,
And he said, "I see well, thou hast corn to sell,
And I'll buy it on the nail."
The twain in a trice agreed on the price ;
The stranger his earnest paid,
And with horses and wain to come for the grain
His own appointment made.
The farmer cracked his whip, and tracked
His way right merrily on :
He struck up a song as he trudged along,
For joy that his job was done.
His children fair he danced in the air ;
His heart with joy was big ;
He kissed his wife ; he seized a knife,
He slew a sucking pig.
The faggots burned, the porkling turned
And crackled before the fire ;
And an odour arose that was sweet in the nose
Of a passing ghostly friar.
He twirled at the pin, he entered in,
He sate down at the board ;
The pig he blessed, when he saw it well dressed,
And the humming ale out-poured.
THE LEGEND OF MANOR HALL. 25
The friar laughed, the friar quaffed,
He chirped like a bird in May ;
The farmer told how his corn he had sold
As he journeyed home that day.
The friar he quaffed, but no longer he laughed,
He changed from red to pale :
" Oh, helpless elf ! 'tis the fiend hhnself
To whom thou hast made thy sale !."
The friar he quaffed, he took a deep draught ;
He crossed himself amain :
" Oh, slave of pelf ! 'tis the devil himself
To whom thou hast sold thy grain !
" And sure as the day, he'll fetch thee away,
With the corn which thou hast sold,
If thou let him pay o'er one tester more
Than thy settled price in gold."
The farmer gave vent to a loud lament,
The wife to a long outcry ;
Their relish for pig and ale was flown ;
The friar alone picked every bone,
And drained the flagon dry.
The friar was gone ; the morning dawn
Appeared, and the stranger's wain
Came to the hour, with six-horse power,
To fetch the purchased grain.
26 THE LEGEND OF MANOR HALL.
The horses were black : on their dewy track
Light steam from the ground up-curled ;
Long wreaths of smoke from their nostrils broke,
And their tails like torches whirled.
More dark and grim, in face and limb,
Seemed the stranger than before,
As his empty wain, with steeds thrice twain,
Drew up to the farmer's door.
On the stranger's face was a sly grimace,
As he seized the sacks of grain ;
And, one by one, till left were none,
He tossed them on the wain.
And slily he leered as his hand up-reared
A purse of costly mould,
Where, bright and fresh, through a silver mesh,
Shone forth the glistering gold.
The farmer held out his right hand stout,
And drew it back with dread ;
For in fancy he heard each warning word
The supping friar had said.
His eye was set on the silver net ;
His thoughts were in fearful strife ;
When, sudden as fate, the glittering bait
Was snatched by his loving wife.
THE LEGEND OF MANOR HALL. 27
And, swift as thought, the stranger caught
The farmer his waist around,
And at once the twain and the loaded wain
Sank through the rifted ground.
The gable-end wall of Manor Hall
Fell in ruins on the place :
'That stone-heap old the tale has told
To each succeeding race.
The wife gave a cry that rent the sky
At her goodman's downward flight :
But she held the purse fast, and a glance she cast
To see that all was right.
'Twas the fiend's full pay for her goodman gray,
And the gold was good and true ;
Which made her declare, that " his dealings were fair,
To give the devil his due."
She wore the black pall for Farmer Wall,
From her fond embraces riven :
But she won the vows of a younger spouse
With the gold which the fiend had given.
Now, farmers, beware what oaths you swear
When you cannot sell your corn ;
Lest, to bid and buy, a stranger be nigh,
With hidden tail and horn.
28 THE LEGEND OF MANOR HALL.
And, with good heed, the moral a-read,
Which is of this tale the pith, —
If your corn yon sell to the fiend of hell,
Yon may sell yourself therewith.
And if by mishap you fall in the trap,
Would you bring the fiend to shame,
Lest the tempting prize should dazzle her eyes,
Lock up your frugal dame.
29
THE " OEiaiNAL" DEAGOK
A LEGEND OF THE CELESTIAL EMPIRE.
Freely translated from an undeciphered MS. of Con-fuse-us,* and dedicated to
Colonel Bolsover (of the Horse Marines), by C. J. Davids, Esq.
A desperate dragon, of singular size, —
(His name was Wing-Fang-Scratch-Claw-Fum,) —
Flew up one day to the top of the skies,
While all the spectators with terror were dumb.
The vagabond vow'd as he sported his tail,
He'd have a shy lark, and some glorious fun :
For he'd nonplus the natives that day without fail,
By causing a total eclipse of the sun !f
He collected a crowd by his impudent boast,
(Some decently dress' d — some with hardly a rag on,)
Who said that the country was ruin'd and lost,
Unless they could compass the death of the dragon.
* " Better known to illiterate people as Confucius" — Washington
Irving.
f In China (whatever European astronomers may assert to the con-
trary) an eclipse is caused by a great dragon eating up the sun.
To avert so shocking an outrage, the natives frighten away the monster
from his intended hot dinner, by giving a morning concert, al fiesco ;
consisting of drums, trumpets, cymbals, gongs, tin-kettles, &c.
30 THE " ORIGINAL" DRAGON.
II.
The emperor came with the whole of his court, —
(His Majesty's name was Ding-Dong- Junk) —
And he said — to delight in such profligate sport,
The monster was mad, or disgracefully drunk.
He call'd on the army : the troops to a man
Declared — though they didn't feel frighten' d the least — -
They never could think it a sensible plan
To go within reach of so ugly a beast.
So he offer' d his daughter, the lovely Nan- Keen,
And a painted pavilion, with many a flag on,
To any brave knight who could step in between
The solar eclipse and the dare-devil dragon,
in.
Presently came a reverend bonze. —
(His name, I'm told, was Long-Chin Joss,) —
With a phiz very like the complexion of bronze ;
And for suitable words he was quite at a loss.
But, he humbly submitted, the orthodox way
To succour the sun, and to bother the foe,
Was to make a new church-rate without more delay,
As the clerical funds were deplorably low.
Though he coveted nothing at all for himself,
(A virtue he always delighted to brag on,)
He thought, if the priesthood could pocket some pelf,
It might hasten the doom of this impious dragon.
IV.
The next that spoke was the court buffoon, —
(The name of this buffer was Whim-Wham-Fun,)-
THE " ORIGINAL" DRAGON. 31
Who carried a salt-box and large wooden spoon,
With which, he suggested, the job might be done.
Said the jester, " I'll wager my rattle and bells,
Tour pride, my fine fellow, shall soon have a fall :
If yon make many more of yonr horrible yells,
I know a good method to make yon sing small !"
And when he had set all the place in a roar,
As his merry conceits led the whimsical wag on,
He hinted a plan to get rid of the bore,
By putting some salt on the tail of the dragon I
At length appear'd a brisk young knight, —
(The far-famed warrior, Bam-Boo-Gong,) —
Who threaten' d to burke the big blackguard outright,
And have the deed blazon' d in story and song.
With an excellent shot from a very long bow
He damaged the dragon by cracking his crown ;
When he fell to the ground (as my documents show)
With a smash that was heard many miles out of town.
His death was the signal for frolic and spree —
They carried the corpse, in a common stage-waggon ;
And the hero was crown' d with the leaves of green tea,
For saving the sun from the jaws of the dragon.
VI.
A poet, whose works were all the rage, —
(This gentleman's name was Sing-Song-Strum,) —
Told the terrible tale on his popular page :
(Compared with his verses, my rhymes are but rum !)
32 THE " ORIGINAL" DRAGON".
The Boyal Society claim'd as their right
The spoils of the vanquish' d — his wings, tail, and claws ;
And a brilliant bravura, describing the fight,
Was sung on the stage with unbounded applause.
" The valiant Bam-Boo" was a favourite toast,
And a topic for future historians to fag on,
Which, when it had reach' d to the Middlesex coast,
Gave rise to the legend of "George and the Dragon."
33
THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY.
" He would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the devil
and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that
causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the
whole race of witches put together, and that was — a woman." — Sketch-
Book
St. Anthony sat on a lowly stool,
And a book was in his hand ;
Never his eye from its page he took,
Either to right or left to look,
But with steadfast soul, as was his rule,
The holy page he scanned.
" We will woo," said the imp, " St. Anthony's eyes
Off from his holy book :
We will go to him all in strange disguise,
And tease him with laughter, whoops, and cries,
That he upon us may look."
The Devil was in the best humour that day
That ever his highness was in :
And that's why he sent out his imps to play,
And he furnished them torches to light their way,
Nor stinted them incense to burn as they may, —
Sulphur, and pitch, and rosin.
D
34 THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONT.
So they came to tlie Saint in a motley crew,
A heterogeneous ront :
There were imps of every shape and hue,
And some looked black, and some looked blue,
And they passed and varied before the view,
And twisted themselves about :
And had they exhibited thus to you,
I think you'd have felt in a bit of a stew, —
Or so should myself, I doubt.
There were some with feathers, and some with scales,
And some with warty skins ;
Some had not heads, and some had tails,
And some had claws like iron nails ;
And some had combs and beaks like birds,
And yet, like jays, could utter words ;
And some had gills and fins.
Some rode on skeleton beasts, arrayed
In gold and velvet stuff,
With rich tiaras on the head,
Like kings and queens among the dead ;
While face and bridle-hand, displayed,
In hue and substance seemed to cope
With maggots in a microscope,
And their thin lips, as white as soap,
Were colder than enough.
And spiders big from the ceiling hung,
From every creek and nook :
THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY. 35
They had a crafty, ugly guise,
And looked at the Saint with their eight eyes ;
And all that malice could devise
Of evil to the good and wise
Seemed welling from their look.
Beetles and slow- worms crawled about,
And toads did squat demure ;
From holes in the wainscoting mice peeped out,
Or a sly old rat with his whiskered snout ;
And forty-feet, a fall span long,
Danced in and out in an endless throng :
There ne'er has been seen such extravagant rout
From that time to this, I'm sure.
But the good St. Anthony kept his eyes
Fixed on the holy book ; —
From it they did not sink nor rise ;
Nor sights nor laughter, shouts nor cries,
Could win away his look.
A quaint imp sat in an earthen pot,
In a big-bellied earthen pot sat he :
Through holes in the bottom his legs outshot,
And holes in the sides his arms had got,
.And his head came out through the mouth, God wot !
A comical sight to see.
And he drummed on his belly so fair and round,
On his belly so round and fair ;
d 2
36 THE TEMPTATIONS OE ST. ANTHONY.
And it gave forth, a rumbling, mingled sound,
'Twixt a muffled bell and a growling hound,
A comical sonnd to hear :
And he sat on the edge of a table-desk,
And drummed it with his heels ;
And he looked as strange and as picturesque
As the figures we see in an arabesque,
Half hidden in flowers, all painted in fresque,
In Gothic vaulted ceils.
Then he whooped and hawed, and winked and grinned,
And his eyes stood out with glee ;
And he said these words, and he sung this song,
And his legs and his arms, with their double prong,
Keeping time with his tune as it galloped along,
Still on the pot and the table dinned
As birth to his song gave he.
" Old Tony, my boy ! shut up your book,
And learn to be merry and gay.
You sit like a bat in his cloistered nook,
Like a round- shoulder' d fool of an owl you look
But straighten your back from its booby crook,
And more sociable be, I pray.
" Let us see you laugh, let us hear you sing ;
Take a lesson from me, old boy !
Bemember that life has a fleeting wing,
And then comes Death, that stern old king,
So we'd better make sure of joy."
THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY. 37
But the good St. Anthony bent his eyes
Upon the holy book :
He heard that song with a laugh arise,
But he knew that the imp had a naughty guise,
And he did not care to look.
Another imp came in a masquerade,
Most like to a monk's attire :
But of living bats his cowl was made,
Their wings stitched together with spider thread ;
And round and about him. they fluttered and played ;
And his eyes shot out from their misty shade
Long parallel bars of Are.
And his loose teeth chattered like clanking bones,
When the gibbet-tree sways in the blast :
And with gurgling shakes, and stifled groans,
He mocked the good St. Anthony's tones
As he muttered his prayer full fast.
A rosary of beads was hung by his side, —
Oh, gaunt-looking beads were they !
And still, when the good Saint dropped a bead,
He dropped a tooth, and he took good heed
To rattle his string, and the bones replied,
Like a rattle- snake's tail at play.
But the good St. Anthony bent his eyes
Upon the holy book ;
He heard that mock of groans and sighs,
38 THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY.
And lie knew that the tiling had an evil guise,
And he did not dare to look.
Another imp came with a trumpet- snout,
That was mouth and nose in one :
It had stops like a flute, as you never may doubt,
Where his long lean fingers capered about,
As he twanged his nasal melodies out,
In quaver, and shake, and run.
And his head moved forward and backward still
On his long and snaky neck ;
As he bent his energies all to fill
His nosey tube with wind and skill,
And he sneezed his octaves out, until
'Twas well-nigh ready to break.
And close to St. Anthony's ear he came,
And piped his music in :
And the shrill sound went through the good Saint's
frame,
With a smart and a sting, like a shred of flame,
Or a bee in the ear, — which is much the same, —
And he shivered with the din.
But the good St. Anthony bent his eyes
Upon the holy book ;
He heard that snout with its gimlet cries,
And he knew that the imp had an evil guise,
And he did not dare to look.
THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY. 39
A thing with horny eyes was there,
With horny eyes like the dead ;
And its long sharp nose was all of horn,
And its bony cheeks of flesh were shorn,
And its ears were like thin cases torn
Froni feet of kine, and its jaws were bare ;
And fish-bones grew, instead of hair,
Upon its skinless head.
Its body was of thin birdy bones,
Bonnd round with a parchment skin ;
And when 'twas struck, the hollow tones
That circled round like drum-dull groans,
Bespoke a void within.
Its arm was like a peacock's leg,
And the claws were like a bird's :
But the creep that went, like a blast of plague,
To loose the live flesh from the bones,
And wake the good Saint's inward groans,
As it clawed his cheek, and pulled his hair,
And pressed on his eyes in their beating lair,
Cannot be told in words.
But the good St. Anthony kept his eyes
Still on the holy book ;
He felt the clam on his brow arise,
And he knew that the thing had a horrid guise,
And he did not dare to look.
40 THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY.
An imp came then like a skeleton form
Out of a charnel vault :
Some clingings of meat had been left by the "worm,
Some tendons and strings on his legs and arm,
And his jaws with gristle were black and deform,
But his teeth were as white as salt.
And he grinned full many a lifeless grin,
And he rattled his bony tail ;
His skull was decked with gill and fin,
And a spike of bone was on his chin,
And his bat-like ears were large and thin,
And his eyes were the eyes of a snail.
He took his stand at the good Saint's back,
And on tiptoe stood a space :
Forward he bent, all rotten-black,
And he sunk again On his heel, good lack !
And the good Saint uttered some ghostly groans,
For the head was caged in the gaunt rib-bones,—
A horrible embrace !
And the skull hung o'er with an elvish pry,
And cocked down its India-rubber eye
To gaze upon his face.
Yet the good St. Anthony sunk his eyes
Deep in the holy book :
He felt the bones, and so was wise
To know that the thing had a ghastly guise,
And he did not dare to look.
THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY. 41
Last came an imp, — how unlike the rest ! —
A beautiful female form :
And her voice was like music, that sleep-oppress' d
Sinks on some cradling zephyr's breast ;
And whilst with a whisper his cheek she press' d,
Her cheek felt soft and warm.
When over his shoulder she bent the light
Of her soft eyes on to his page,
It came like a moonbeam silver bright,
And relieved him then with a mild delight,
For the yellow lamp-lustre scorched his sight,
That was weak with the mists of age.
Hey ! the good St. Anthony boggled his eyes
Over the holy book :
Ho ho ! at the corners they 'gan to rise,
For he knew that the thing had a lovely guise,,
And he could not choose but look.
There are many devils that walk this world, —
Devils large, and devils small ;
Devils so meagre, and devils so stout ;
Devils with horns, and devils without ;
Sly devils that go with their tails upcurled,
Bold devils that carry them quite unfurled ;
Meek devils, and devils that brawl ;
Serious devils, and laughing devils ;
Imps for churches, and imps for revels ;
42 THE TEMPTATIONS OF ST. ANTHONY.
Devils uncouth, and devils polite ;
Devils black, and devils white ;
Devils foolish, and devils wise ;
But a laughing woman, with two bright eyes
Is the worsest devil of ali.
T. H. S.
A TALE OF GRAMMARYE.
The Baron came home in his fury and rage,
He blew up his Henchman, he blew np his Page ;
The Seneschal trembled, the Cook looked pale,
As he ordered for supper grilled kidneys and ale,
Vain thought ! that grill' d kidneys can give relief,
When one's own are inflamed by anger and grief.
What was the cause of the Baron's distress ?
Why sank his spirits so low ? —
The fair Isabel, when she should have said " Yes/
Had given the Baron a " No."
He ate, and he drank, and he grumbled between :
First on the viands he vented his spleen, —
The ale was sour, — the kidneys were tough,
And tasted of nothing but pepper and snuff !
— The longer he ate, the worse grew affairs,
Till he ended by kicking the butler down stairs.
All was hushed — 'twas the dead of the night —
The tapers were dying away,
And the armour bright
Glanced in the light
Of the pale moon's trembling ray ;
44 A TALE OF GRAMMARYE.
Yet his Lordship sat still, digesting his ire,
With his nose on his knees, and his knees in the fire,-
AU at once he jump'd up, resolved to consult his
Cornelius Agrippa de rebus occuliis.
He seized by the handle
A bed-room flat candle,
And went to a secret nook,
Where a chest lay hid
With so massive a lid,
His knees, as he raised it, shook,
Partly, perhaps, from the wine he had drunk,
Partly from fury, and partly from funk ;
For never before had he ventured to look
In his Great- Great- Grandfather's conjuring-book.
Now Lord Eanulph Fitz-Hugh,
As lords frequently do,
Thought reading a bore, — but his case is quite new ;
So he quickly ran through
A chapter or two,
For without Satan's aid he knew not what to do, —
When poking the fire, as the evening grew colder,
He saw with alarm,
As he raised up his arm,
An odd-looking countenance over his shoulder.
Firmest rock will sometimes quake,
Trustiest blade will sometimes break,
Sturdiest heart will sometimes fail,
Proudest eye will sometimes quail j —
A TALE OF GEAMMAEYE. 45
No wonder Fitz-Hugh felt uncommonly queer
Upon suddenly seeing the Devil so near,
Leaning over his chair, peeping into his ear.
The stranger first
The silence burst,
And replied to the Baron's look : —
" I would not intrude,
But don't think me rude
If I sniff at that musty old book.
Charms were all very well
Ere Reform came to Hell ;
But now not an imp cares a fig for a spell.
Still I see what you want,
And am willing to grant
The person and purse of the fair Isabel.
Upon certain conditions the maiden is won ; —
You may have her at once, if you choose to say ' Done !'
" The lady so rare,
Her manors so fair,
Lord Baron I give to thee :
But when once the sun
Five years has run,
Lord Baron, thy soul's my fee !"
Oh ! where wert thou, ethereal Sprite ?
Protecting Angel, where ?
Sure never before had noble or knight
Such need of thy guardian care !
No aid is nigh — 'twas so decreed j —
46 A TALE OF GKAMMARTE.
The recreant Baron at once agreed,
And prepared with his blood to sign the deed.
With the point of his sword •
His arm he scored,
And mended his pen with his Misericorde ;
From his black silk breeches
The stranger reaches
A lawyer's leathern case,
Selects a paper,
And snuffing the taper,
The Baron these words mote trace : —
" Five years after date, I promise to pay
My sonl to old Mck, without let or delay,
For value received." — " There, my Lord, on my life,
Put your name to the bill, and the lady's your wife."
All look'd bright in earth and heaven,
And far through the morning skies
Had Sol his fiery coursers driven, —
That is, it was striking half -past eleven
As Isabel opened her eyes.
All wondered what made the lady so late,
For she came not down till noon,
Though she usually rose at a quarter to eight,
And went to bed equally soon.
But her rest had been broken by troublesome dreams : —
She had thought that, in spite of her cries and her screams,
Old Nick had borne off, in a chariot of flame,
The gallant young Howard of Effinghame.
A TALE OF GRAMMARYE. 47
Her eye was so dim, and her cheek so chill,
The family doctor declared she was ill,
And muttered dark hints of a draught and a pill.
All during breakfast to brood doth she seem
O'er some secret woes or wrongs ;
For she empties the salt-cellar into the cream,
And stirs up her tea with the tongs.
But scarce hath she finished her third round of toast,
When a knocking is heard by all —
" "What may that be ? — 'tis too late for the post, —
Too soon for a morning call."
After a moment of silence and dread,
The court-yard rang
With the joyful clang
Of an armed warrior's tread.
Now away and away with fears and alarms, —
The lady lies clasped in young Effinghame's arms.
She hangs on his neck, and she tells him true,
How that troublesome creature, Lord Eanulph Fitz-Hugh,
Hath vowed and hath sworn with a terrible curse,
That, unless she will take him for better for worse,
He will work her mickle rue I
" Now, lady love, dismiss thy fear,
Should that grim old Baron presume to come here,
We'll soon send him home with a flea in his ear ; —
And, to cut short the strife,
My love ! my life !
Let me send for a parson, and make you my wife !"
48 A TALE OF GEAMMAEYE.
No banns did they need, no licence require, —
They were married that day before dark :
The Clergyman came, — a fat little friar,
The doctor acted as Clerk.
But the nuptial rites were hardly o'er,
Scarce had they reached the vestry door,
When a knight rushed headlong in ;
From his shoes to his shirt
He was all over dirt,
From his toes to the tip of his chin ;
But high on his travel-stained helmet tower'd
The lion-crest of the noble Howard.
By horrible doubts and fears possest,
The bride turned and gaz'd on the bridegroom's breast —
No Argent Bend was there ;
No. Lion bright
Of her own true knight,
But his rival's Sable Bear !
The Lady Isabel instantly knew
'Twas a regular hoax of the false Fitz-Hugh ;
And loudly the Baron exultingly cried,
" Thou art wooed, thou art won, my bonny gay bride !
Nor heaven nor hell can our loves divide I"
This pithy remark was scarcely made,
When the Baron beheld, upon turning his head,
His Friend in black close by ;
He advanced with a smile all placid and bland,
Popp'd a small piece of parchment into his hand,
And knowingly winked his eye.
A TALE OF GRAMMARVE. 49
As the Baron perused,
His cheek was suffused
With a flush between brick-dust and brown ;
While the fair Isabel
Fainted, and fell
In a still and death-like swoon
Lord Howard roar'd out, till the chapel and vaults
Bang with cries for burnt feathers and volatile salts.
" Look at the date !" quoth the queer-looking man,
In his own peculiar tone ;
" My word hath been kept, — deny it who can, —
And now I am come for my own."
Might he trust his eyes ? — Alas ! and alack !
'Twas a bill ante-dated fall five years back !
'Twas all too true —
It was over due —
The term had expired ! — he wouldn't " renew," —
And the Devil looked black as the Baron looked blue.
The Lord Fitz-Hugh
Made a great to-do,
And especially blew up Old Nick, —
" 'Twas a stain," he swore,
" On the name he bore
To play such a rascally trick !" —
A trick ?" quoth Mck, in a tone rather quick,
It's one often played upon people who ' tick.' "
Blue flames now broke
From his mouth as he spoke,
They went out, and left an uncommon thick smoke,
E
50 A TALE OF GEAMMARYE.
Which, enveloping quite
Himself and the Knight,
The pair in a moment were clean out of sight.
When it wafted away,
Where the dickens were they ?
Oh ! no one might guess — Oh ! no one might say,—-
But never, I wis,
From that time to this,
In hall or in bower, on mountain or plain,
Has the Baron been seen, or been heard of again.
As for fair Isabel, after two or three sighs,
She finally opened her beautiful eyes.
She coughed, and she sneezed
And was very well pleased,
After being so rumpled, and towzled, and teased,
To find when restored from her panic and pain,
My Lord Howard had married her over again.
MORAL.
Be warned by our story, ye Nobles and Knights,
Who're so much in the habit of " flying of kites ;"
And beware how ye meddle again with such Flights :
At least, if your energies Creditors cramp,
Bemember a Usurer's always a Scamp,
And look well at the Bill, and the Date, and the Stamp :
Don't sign in a hurry, whatever you do,
Or you'll go the Devil, like Baron Fitz-Hugh.
Dalton.
51
THE KED-BEEAST OF AQTJITAOTA.
AN HUMBLE BALLAD.
" Are. not two sparrows sold for a farthing ? yet not one of them
shall fall to the ground without your Father." — St. Matthew, x. 29.
" Gallos ab Aquitanis Garumna flumen." — Julius Caesar.
" Sermons in stones, and good in everything." — Shakspeare.
" Genius, left to shiver
On the bank, 'tis said,
Died of that cold river." — Tom Moore.
River trip
from Thou-
louse to
Bourdeaux.
Thermome-
ter at -0.
Snow 1J foot
deep. Use
of wooden
shoes.
Oh, 'twas bitter cold
As our steam-boat roll'd
Down the pathway old
Of the deep Garonne, —
And the peasant lank,
"While his sabot sank
In the snow- clad bank,
Saw it roll on, on.
Y* Gascon
farmer hieth
to his cot-
tage, and
dnnketh a
flaggonne.
II.
And he hied him home
To his toit de cliaume;
And for those who roam
On the broad bleak flood
b 2
52
THE RED-BREAST OF AQUITANIA.
Cared lie ? Not a thought ;
For his beldame brought
His wine-flask fraught
With the grape's red blood.
He warmeth
his cold
shins at a
wooden fire.
Good b'ye to
him.
III.
And the wood-block blaze
Fed his vacant gaze
As we trod the maze
Of the river down.
Soon we left behind
On the frozen wind
All farther mind
Of that vacant clown.
IV.
Y* Father
meeteth a
stray ac-
quaintance
in a small
bird.
But there came anon,
As we journey' d on
Down the deep Garonne,
An acquaintancy,
Which we deem'd, I count,
Of more high amount,
it oped the fount
Of sweet sympathy.
Not y<=
famous alba-
tross of that
aincient ma-
riner olde
Coleridge,
but a poore
robin.
'Twas a stranger drest
In a downy vest,
'Twas a wee Red-breast,
(Not an " Albatross")
THE RED-BREAST OP AQTJITANIA.
53
But a wanderer meek,
Who fain would seek
O'er the bosom bleak
Of that flood to cross.
Y e sparrow-
crossing y e
river inak-
eth hys half-
way house
of the fire-
ship.
VI.
And we watch' d him oft
As he soar'd aloft
On his pinions soft,
Poor wee weak thing,
And we soon could mark
That he sought our bark
As a resting ark
For his weary wing.
VII.
Delusive
hope. Y e
fire-ship
runneth 10
knots an
hour: 'tis
no go for y e
sparrow.
But the bark, fire-fed,
On her pathway sped,
And shot far a-head
Of the tiny bird,
And quicker in the van
Her swift wheels ran,
As the quickening fan
Of his winglets stirr'd.
VIII.
Y« byrde is
led a wilde
goose chace
adown v e
Vain, vain pursuit !
Toil without fruit !
For his forked foot
Shall not anchor there,
54
THE RED-BREAST OF AQTTITANIA.
Tho' the boat meanwhile
Down the stream beguile
For a bootless mile
The poor child of air !
Symptomes
of fatigue,
"lis melan-
cholie to fall
between
2 stools,
And 'twas plain at last
He was nagging fast,
That his hour had past
In that effort vain ;
Far from either bank,
Sans a saving plank,
Slow, slow he sank,
Nor uprose again.
Mort of y j
birde.
And the cheerless wave
Just one ripple gave
As it oped him a grave
In its bosom cold,
And he sank alone,
With a feeble moan,
In that deep Garonne,
And then all was told.
Y e old man
at ye helm
weepeth for
a sonne lost
in y e bay of
Biscaye.
But our pilot grey
Wiped a tear away ;
In the broad Biscaye
He had lost his boy !
THE RED -BREAST OF AQUTTAMTA.
55
And that sight brought back
On its furrow'd track
The remember'd wreck
Of long perish'd joy !
Condoleance
of y ladyes ;
eke of 1
chasseur
d'infanterie
Ugere.
XII.
And the tear half hid
In soft Beauty's lid
Stole forth unbid
For that red-breast bird
And the feeling crept, —
For a Warrior wept ;
And the silence kept
Found no fitting word.
OMe Father
Proutte
sadly
moralizetli
anent y*
XIII.
But I mused alone,
For I thought of one
Whom I well had known
In my earlier days,
Of a gentle mind,
Of a soul refined,
Of deserts design'd
For the Palm of Praise.
XIV.
Y« Streame
of Lyfe. A
younge man
of f ayre
promise.
And well would it seem
Tha o'er Lifes dark stream,
Easy task for Him
In hi flight of Fame,
56
THE RED-BREAST OF AQTTITANIA.
"Was the Skyward Path,
O'er tlie billow's wrath,
That for Genius hath
Ever been the same.
Hys earlie
rly'ght acros
y e streame.
XV.
And I saw him soar
From the morning shore,
While his fresh wings bore
Him athwart the tide,
Soon with powers unspent
As he forward went,
His wings he had bent
On the songht-for side.
A newe ob-
ject calleth
his eye from
y e rnaine
chaunce.
XVI.
But while thus he flew,
Lo ! a vision new
Caught his wayward view
With a semblance fair,
Zknd that new-found wooer
Could, alas ! allure
From his pathway sure
The bright child of air.
Instabilitie
of purpose a
fatall evyl
in lyfe.
XVII.
For he turn'd aside,
And adown the tide
For a brief hour plied
His yet unspent force,
Prout's
ballade,
THE RED-BEEAST OF AQTJITANIA. 57
And to gain that goal
Gave the powers of soul,
Which, unwasted, whole,
Had achieved his course.
XVIII.
™^ J A bright Spirit, young,
Father Unwept, unsung,
humble Sank thus among
The drifts of the stream ;
Not a record left,—
Of renown bereft,
By thy cruel theft,
DELUSIVE DREAM I
53
THE SON TO HIS MOTHER.
There was a place in childhood that I remember well
And there, a voice of sweetest tone bright fairy tales did
tell;
And gentle words and fond embrace were given with joy
to me,
When I was in that happy place, npcn my mother's knee.
When fairy tales were ended, " G-ood night !" she softly
said,
And kiss'd and laid me down to sleep within my tiny
bed ;
And holy words she taught me there, — methinks I yet
can see
Her angel eyes, as close I knelt beside my mother's knee.
In the sickness of my childhood, the perils of my prime,
The sorrows of my riper years, the cares of ev'ry time ;
When donbt or danger weigh' d me down, then pleading,
all for me,
It was a fervent pray'r to Heaven that bent my mother's j
knee !
THE SON TO HIS MOTHER. 59
And can I this remember, and e'er forget to prove
The glow of holy gratitude — the fulness of my love ?
When thou art feeble, mother, come rest thy arm on me,
And let thy cherish' d child support the aged mothers'
knee!
Samuel Lover.
60
IMPEOMPTTJ BY THE LATE GEOKGE COLMAK
About a year since, a young lady begged this cele-
brated wit to write some verses in her album : he shook
his head ; but, good-naturedly promising to try, at once
extemporised the following, — most probably his last
written and poetical jest.
My muse and I, ere youth and spirits fled,
Sat up together many a night, no doubt ;
But now, I've sent the poor old lass to bed,
Simply because my fire is going out.
61
THE MOKKS OF OLD.
Many have told of the monks of old,
What a saintly race they were ;
But 'tis more true that a merrier crew
Could scarce be found elsewhere ;
For they sung and laugh' d,
And the rich wine quaff'd,
And lived on the daintiest cheer.
And some they would say, that throughout the day
O'er the missal alone they would pore ;
But 'twas only, I ween, whilst the flock were seen
They thought of their ghostly lore ;
For they sung and laugh'd,
And the rich wine quaff'd
When the rules of their faith were o'er.
And then they would jest at the love confess' d
By many an artless maid ;
And what hopes and fears they have pour'd in the ears
Of those who sought their aid.
And they sung and laugh'd,
And the rich wine quaff'd
As they told of each love-sick jade.
62 THE MONKS OF OLD.
And the Abbot meek, with his form so sleek,
Was the heartiest of them all,
And would take his place with a smiling face
When refection bell would call ;
And they sung and laugh' d,
And the rich wine quaff' d,
Till they shook the olden wall.
In their green retreat, when the drum would beat,
And warriors flew to arm,
The monks they would stay in their convent grey,
In the midst of dangers calm,
Where they sung and laugh' d,
And the rich wine quaff' d,
For none would the good men harm.
Then say what they will, we'll drink to them still,
For a jovial band they were ;
And 'tis most true that a merrier crew
Could not be found elsewhere ;
For they sung and laugh' d,
And the rich wine quaff'd,
And lived on the daintiest cheer.
William Jones.
63
OUE OPENING CHATJNT.
Written on the occasion of the First Publication of "Bentley's
Miscellanv."
Come round and hear, my public dear,
Come hear, and judge it gently, —
The prose so terse, and flowing verse,
Of us, the wits of Bentley.
ii.
We offer not intricate plot
To muse upon intently ;
No tragic word, no bloody sword,
Shall stain the page of Bentley.
in.
The tender song which all day long
Eesounds so sentiment'ly,
Through wood and grove all full of love,
Will find no place in Bentley.
64 OUR OPENING CHAUNT.
IV.
Nor yet the speech wliicli fain would teach
All nations eloquently ; —
'Tis quite too grand for us the bland
And modest men of Bentley.
For science deep no line we keep,
We speak it reverently ; —
From sign to sign the sun may shine,
Untelescoped by Bentley.
VI.
Tory and Whig, in accents big,
May wrangle violently :
Their party rage shan't stain the page-
The neutral page of Bentley.
VII.
The scribe whose pen is mangling men
And women pestilently,
May take elsewhere his wicked ware, —
He finds no mart in Bentley.
VIII.
It pains us not to mark the spot
Where Dan may find his rent lie ;
The Glasgow chiel may shout for Peel,
We know them not in Bentley
OTJB OPENING CHAT7NT. 65
IX.
Those who admire a merry lyre, —
Those who would hear attent'ly
A tale of wit, or flashing hit, —
Are ask'd to come to Bentley.
Our hunt will be for grace and glee,
Where thickest may the scent lie ;
At slashing pace begins the chase —
Now for the burst of Bentley.
Dr. Maginn.
LINES
On seeing "The Young Veteran," John Bannister,
toddling up Gower- street, after he had attained his
seventieth birthday.
WRITTEN BY SIR GEORGE ROSE, AND COMMUNICATED BY
J. P. HARLEY, ESQ,.
With seventy years upon his back,
Still is my honest friend " Young Jack,"
Nor spirits check' d nor fancy slack,
But fresh as any daisy,
Though Time has knock' d his stumps about,
He cannot bowl his temper out ;
And all the Bannister is stout,
Although the steps be crazy.
66
AD MOLLISSIMAM PUELLAM E GETICA
CAEUAEUM FAMIUA.
OVIDITJS NASO LAMENTATUR.
Heu ! heu !
Me tsedet, me piget o !
Cor mihi riget o !
TJt nos sub frigido . . .
Et nox ipsa mi, turn
Cnm vado dormitum,
Infausta, insomnis,
Transcurritur omnis . . .
Hoc culpa fit tua
Mi, mollis Cariia,
Sic mihi illudens,
Nee pudens. —
Prodigmm tu, re
Es, vera, naturae,
Candidior lacte ; —
Plus fronte cum hac te,
Cum istis ocellis,
Plus omnibus stellis
Mehercule vellem. —
Sed heu, me imbellem !
A me, qui sum iidus,
Vel ultimum sidus
tf
TO THE HARD-HEARTED MOLLY CAREW,
THE LAMENT OF HER IRISH LOVER.
Och hone !
Oh! what willl do?
Sure my love is all crost,
Like a bud in the frost. . .
And there's no use at all
In my going to bed ;
For 'tis dhrames, and not sleep,
That comes into my head. . .
And 'tis all about you,
My sweet Molly Carew,
And indeed 'tis a sin
And a shame. —
You're complater than nature
In every feature ;
The snow can't compare
With your forehead so fair:
And I rather would spy
Just one blink of your eye
Than the purtiest star
That shines out of the sky ;
Tho' — by this and by that !
For the matter o' that —
p 2
63 AD MOLLISSIMAM PTJELLAM E FAMILIA CAETJAETJM.
Eon distat te niagis . . .
Quid agis !
lieu ! heu ! nisi tu
Me ames,
Pereo ! pillaleu !
ii.
Heu! heu!
Sed cur seqimr laude
Ocellos aut frontem
Si nasi, cum fraude,
Prsetereo pontem ? . . .
Ast hie ego minus
Quam ipse Longinus
In verbis exprimem
Hunc nasum sublimem ,
De florida gena
Vulgaris camcena
Cantaret in vanum
Per annum. —
Turn, tibi puella !
Sic tument labella
Ut nil plus jucundum
Sit, aut rubicundum ;
Si primitus homo
Collapsus est porno,
Si dolor et luctus
Venerunt per fructus,
Proh ! Betas nunc serior
ISTe cadat, vereor,
Icta tarn bello
TO THE HARD-HEARTED MOLLY CAREW. 69
You're more distant by far
Than that same.
Och hone, wierasthrew !
I am alone
In this world without you !
ii.
Och hone !
But why should I speak
Of your forehead and eyes,
When your nose it defies
Paddy Blake the schoolmaster
To put it in rhyme ? t —
Though there's one Burke,
He says,
Who would call it Snublime . . .
And then for your cheek,
Throth 'twould take him a week
Its beauties to tell
As he'd rather : —
Then your lips, O machree !
In their beautiful glow
They a pattern might be
For the cherries to grow. —
'Twas an apple that tempted
Our mother, we know ;
For apples were scarce
I suppose long ago :
But at this time o' day,
'Pon my conscience I'll say,
Such cherries might tempt
70 AD MCLLISSIMAM PTJELLAM E FAMILIA CAKUARUM.
Labello :
Heu ! heu ! nisi tu
Me ames,
Pereo ! pillaleu !
in.
Heu! Heu
Per cornua lunse
Perpetuo tu ne
Me vexes impnne ? . . .
I nunc chore- salta
(Mac-ghius nam tecum)
Planta magis alta
Quam sueveris mecum ! .
Tibicinem quanclo
Cogo fustigando
Ne falsum det melus,
Anhelus. —
A te in sacello
Yix mentem revello,
Heu ! misere scissani
Te inter et Missam ;
Tu latitas vero
Tarn stricto galero
Ut cernere vultum
Desiderem multum.
Et dubites jam, niira
(Ob animse damnum)
Sit fas liunc deberi
Auferri ?
Heu ! heu ! nisi tu
TO THE HAED-HEAETED MOLLY CAEEW. 71
A man's father !
Och hone, wierasthrew !
I'm alone
In this world without yon !
in.
Och hone !
By the man in the moon !
Yon teaze me all ways
That a woman can plaze ;
For yon dance twice as high
With that thief Pat Maghee
As when you take share
In a jig, dear, with me ;
Though the piper I bate,
For fear the ou]d chate
Wouldn't play you your
Favourite tune.
And when you're at Mass
My devotion you crass,
For 'tis thinking of you
I am, Molly Carew ;
While you wear on purpose
A bonnet so deep,
That I can't at your sweet
Pretty face get a peep.
Oh ! lave off that bonnet,
Or else I'll lave on it
The loss of my wandering
Sowl !
Och hone, like an owl,
72 AD MOLLISSIMAM PTJELLAM E FAMILIA GARTJART7M.
Coram sis,
Csecus sim : eleleu !
IV.
Heu ! lieu !
Non me provocato,
Nam virginum sat, o !
Stant mihi amato . . .
Et stuperes plane
Si aliquo mane
Me sponsum videres ;
Hoc quomodo ferres ?
Quid diceres, si cum
Triumpho per vicum,
Maritus it ibi,
Non tibi !
Et pol ! Catherine
Cui vacca, (tu, sine)
Si proferem hymen
Grande esset discrimen;
Tu quamvis, hie aio,
Sis blandior Maio,
Et hsec calet rariiis
Quam Januarius ;
Si non mutas brevi,
Hanc mihi decrevi
(Ut sic ultus forem)
IJxorem ;
Turn posthac diu
Me spectrum
Verebere tu. . . eleleu !
Father Prout.
TO THE HARD-HEARTED MOLLY CAREW. 73
Day is night,
Dear, to me without you !
IV.
Och hone !
Don't provoke me to do it ;
For there's girls by the score
That loves me, and more.
And you'd look very queer,
If some morning you'd meet
My wedding all marching
In pride down the street.
Throth you'd open your eyes,
And you'd die of surprise
To think 'twasn't you
Was come to it.
And 'faith ! Katty Naile
And her cow, I go bail,
Would jump if I'd say,
" Katty ISTaile, name the day."
And though you're fair and fresh
As the blossoms in May,
And she's short and dark
Like a cold winter's day,
Yet if you don't repent
Before Easter, — when Lent
Is over — I'll marry
For spite.
Och hone ! and when I
Die for you,
'Tis my ghost that you'll see every night !
S. Lover
n
THE GEAND CHAM OP TAETAEY,
AND
THE HUMBLE-BEE.
Abridged from the voluminous Epic Poem by Beg-beg,
(formerly a mendicant ballad- singer, afterwards Prin-
cipal Lord Rector of the University of Samarcand, and
subsequently Historiographer and Poet Laureate to the
Court of Balk,) by C. J. Davids, Esq.
The great Tartar chief, on a festival day,
Grave a spread to his court, and resolv'd to be gay ;
But, just in the midst of their music and glee,
The mirth was upset by a humble-bee —
A humble-bee — ■
They were bored by a rascally humble-bee !
ii.
This riotous bee was so wanting in sense
As to fly at the Cham with malice prepense :
Said his highness, " My fate will be felo-de-se,
If I'm thus to be teas' d by a humble-bee —
A humble-bee —
How shall I get rid of the humble-bee I"
THE GRAND CHAM OP TARTAEY. 75
III.
The troops in attendance, with sabre and spear,
Were order' d to harass the enemy's rear :
But the brave body-guards were forced to flee —
They were all so afraid of the humble-bee —
The humble bee —
The soldiers were scar'd by the humble-bee.
IV.
The solicitor- general thought there was reason
For indicting the scamp on a charge of high-treason ;
While the chancellor doubted if any decree
From the woolsack would frighten the humble-bee —
The humble-bee —
So the lawyers fought shy of the humble-bee.
The Cham from his throne in an agony rose,
While the insect was buzzing right under his nose
" Was ever a potentate plagued like me,
Or worried to death by a humble-bee !
A humble-bee —
Don't let me be stung by the humble-bee !"
VI.
He said to a page, nearly choking with grief,
" Bring hither my valiant commander-in-chief ;
And say that I'll give him a liberal fee,
To cut the throat of this humble-bee —
This humble-bee —
This turbulent, Jacobin, humble-bee !"
76 THE GRAND CHAM OF TARTARY.
VII.
His generalissimo came at the summons,
And, cursing the courtiers for cowardly rum-uns,
" My liege," said he, " it's all fiddle-de-dee
To make such a fuss for a humble-bee —
A humble-bee —
I don't care a d — n for the humble-bee !"
VIII.
The veteran rush'd sword in hand on the foe,
And cut him in two with a desperate blow.
His master exclaim' d, " I'm delighted to see
How neatly you've settled the humble-bee !"
The humble-bee —
So there was an end of the humble-bee.
IX.
By the doctor's advice (which was prudent and right)
His highness retired very early that night :
For they got him to bed soon after his tea,
And he dream' d all night of the humble-bee — ■
The humble-bee —
He saw the grim ghost of the humble-bee.
MORAL.
Seditious disturbers, mind well what you're arter —
Lest, humming a prince, you by chance catch a Tartar.
Consider, when planning an impudent spree,
You may get the same luck as the humble-bee —
The humble-bee —
Eemember the doom of the humble-bee !
PADDY BLAKE'S ECHO. 77
PADDY BLAKE'S ECHO.
A NEW VERSION FROM THE ORIGINAL IRISH.
" Ecco ridente," &c.
Tliere's a spot by that lake, sirs,
Where echoes were born,
Were one Paddy Blake, sirs,
Was walking one morn
With a great curiosity big in his mind !
Says he, " Mrs. Blake
Doesn't trate me of late
In the fashion she did
When I first call'd her Kate r
She's crusty and surly, —
My cabin 's the dhiaoul,
My pigs and my poultry
Are all cheek by jowl :
But what is the cause, from the J.cho Til find."
(Spolcen.)
So up he goes bouldly to the J.cho, and says, " The top
78 PADDY BLAKE'S ECHO.
o' the mornin' t'ye, Misther or Missus Acho, for divil a
know I know whether ye wear petticoats or breeches."
" Neither," says the Acho in Irish.
" Now, that being the case," says Paddy, turnin' sharp
'pon the J.cho, d'ye see, " ye can tell me the stark-naked
truth."
"'Troth, an' ye may say that, with yir own purty
mouth," says the J.cho.
" Well, thin," says Paddy agin, " what the divil's come
over Mrs. Blake of late ?"
" Potcheen /" says the J.cho.
" Oh ! (shouting) by the pow'rs of Moll Kelly," says
Paddy, " I thought as mich : —
" It wasn't for nothin' the taypot was hid,
Though I guess'd what was in it, by smelling the lid !"
ii.
There's another suspicion
Comes over my mind,
That with all his contrition
And pray'rs, and that kind,
Ould Father Mahony's a wag in his way.
When a station, he says,
Will be held at my house,
I must go my ways,
Or be mute as a mouse.
For Mm turkey and bacon
Is pull'd from the shelf;
Not so much as a cake on
The coals for myself:
But what all this manes, why, the J.cho will say.
PADDY BLAKE'S ECHO. 79
(Spoken.)
Up lie goes agin to the Acho, and says, " Tell me, affye
plase, what is 't brings onld Father Mahony so everlast-
ingly to my country seat in the bog of Bally Keeran ?"
" Mrs. Blake !" says the .Acho.
" Oh ! hannimandhiaoul !" says Paddy, " I thought as
mich — the thief o' the world — I thought as mich. Oh !
tundher-a-nouns !
"I'll go home an' bate her, until my heart 's sore,
Then give her the key of the street evermore !"
W.
IMPEOMPTU.
Who the dickens " Boz" could be
Puzzled many a learned elf ;
Till time unveil' d the mystery,
And Boz appear'd as Dickens' self!
C. J. Davids.
80
HAROUN ALRASCHID.
O'er the gorgeous room a luxurious gloom,
Like the glow of a summer's eve, hung :
From its basin of stone, with rose-leaves bestrown
The fountain its coolness flung ;
Perfumes wondrously rare fill'd the eunuch-fann'd air,
And on gem-studded carpets around
The poets sung forth tales of glory or mirth
To their instruments' eloquent sound ;
On a throne framed of gold sat their monarch the bold,
With coffers of coin by his side,
And to each, as he sung, lavish handfuls he flung,
Till each in his gratitude cried,
Long, long live great Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old!"
Disturbing the feast, from the Rome of the East
An embassage audience craves ;
And Haroun, smiling bland, cries, dismissing the band,
" We will look on the face of our slaves !"
Then the eunuchs who wait on their Caliph in state
Lead the messenger Lords of the Greek.
HAROTJN ALRASCHID. 81
Proud and martial their mien, proud and martial
their sheen,
But they bow to the Arab right meek ;
And with heads bending down, though their brows
wear a frown,
They ask if he audience bestow.
" Yea, dogs of the Greek, we await ye, so speak ! —
Have ye brought us the tribute you owe ?
Or what lack ye of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old?"
Then the Greek spake loud, " To Alraschid the
Proud
This message our monarch doth send :
While ye play'd 'gainst a Queen, ye could mate her,
I ween —
She could ill with thy pieces contend ;
But Irene is dead, and a Pawn in her stead
Holds her power and place on the board :
By Nicephorus stern is the purple now worn,
And no longer he owns thee for lord.
If tribute ye claim, I am bade in his name
This to tell thee, King of the World,
With these, not with gold, pays Nicephorus bold !" —
And a bundle of sword-blades he hurl'd
At the feet of stern Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old.
Dark as death was his look, and his every limb
shook,
As the Caliph glared round on the foe —
G
82 HAROUN ALRASCHID.
" View my answer I" he roar'd, and unsheathing his
sword,
Clove the bundle of falchions right through.
" Tell my slave, the Greek hound, that Haroun the
E-enown'd,
Ere the sun that now sets rise again,
Will be far on the road to his wretched abode,
With many a myriad of men.
No reply will he send, either spoken or penn'd ;
But by Allah, and Abram our sire,
He shall read a reply on the earth, in the sky,
Writ in bloodshed, and famine, and fire !
Now begone !" thundered Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph
of Babylon old.
As the sun dropt in night by the murky torch-
light,
There was gathering of horse and of man :
Tartar, Courd, Bishareen, Persian, swart Bedoween,
And the mighty of far Khorasan —
Of all tongues, of all lands, and in numberless
bands,
Eound the Prophet's green banner they crowd,
They are form'd in array, they are up and away,
Like the locusts' calamitous cloud ;
But rapine or spoil, till they reach the Greek soil,
Is forbidden, however assail'd.
A poor widow, whose fold a Courd robb'd, her tale
told,
And he was that instant impaled
By the stern wrath of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old !
HAROUN ALRASCHID. 83
- On o'er valley and hill, river, plain, onwards still,
Fleet and fell as the desert- wind, on !
Where was green grass before, when that host had
pass'd o'er,
Every vestige of verdure was gone !
On o'er valley and hill, desert, river, on still,
With the speed of the wild ass or deer,
The dust of their tread, o'er the atmosphere spread,
Hung for miles like a cloud in their rear.
On o'er valley and hill, desert, river, on still,
Till afar booms the ocean's hoarse roar,
And amid the night's gloom are seen tower, temple,
doom —
Heraclea, that sits by the shore !
The doom'd city of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old.
There was mirth at its height in thy mansions that
night,
Heraclea, that sits by the sea !
Thy damsels' soft smiles breathed their loveliest wiles,
And the banquet was wild in its glee !
For Zoe the fair, proud Nicephorus' heir,
That night was betrothed to her mate,
To Theseus the Bold, of Illyria old,
And the blood of the Island-kings great.
When lo ! wild and lorn, and with robes travel-torn,
And with features that pallidly glared,
They the Arab had spurn'd from Damascus return'd,
Eush'd in, and the coming declared
Of the armies of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of Babylon
old-
g 2
84 HAROUN ALRASCHID.
A faint tumult afar, the first breathing of war,
Multitudinous floats on the gale :
The lelie shout shrill, and the toss'd cymbals peal,
And the trumpet's long desolate wail,
The horse-tramp of swarms, and the clangour of
arms,
And the murmur of nations of men.
Oh woe, woe, and woe, Heraclea shall know —
She shall fall, and shall rise not again ;
The spiders' dusk looms shall alone hang her rooms,
The green grass shall grow in her ways,
Her daughters shall wail, and her warriors shall
quail,
And herself be a sign of amaze,
Through the vengeance of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph
of Babylon old.
'Tis the dawn of the sun, and the morn-prayer is
done,
And the murderous onset is made ;
The Christian and foe they are at it, I trow,
Fearfully plying the blade.
Each after each rolls on to the breach,
Like the slumberless roll of the sea.
Rank rolling on rank rush the foe on the Frank,
Breathless, in desperate glee ;
The Creek's quenchless fire, the Mussulman's ire
Has hurled over rampart and wall.
And 'tis all one wild hell of blades slaughtering fell,
Where fiercest and fellest o'er all
Work'd the falchion of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old.
HAROUN ALRASCHID. 85
But day rose on day, yet Nicephorus grey,
And Theseus, his daughter's betrothed,
With warrior-like sleight kept the town in despite,
Of the Moslem insulted and loathed.
Morn rose after morn on the leaguers outworn,
Till the Caliph with rage tore his beard ;
And, terribly wroth, sware a terrible oath —
An oath which the boldest ev'n fear'd.
So his mighty Emirs gat around their compeers,
And picked for the onslaught a few.
Oh ! that onslaught was dread, — every Moslem struck
dead !
But, however, young Theseus they slew,
And that gladdened fierce Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph
of Babylon old.
Heraclea, that night in thy palaces bright
There was anguish and bitterest grief.
" He is gone ! he is dead !" were the words that they
said,
Though the stunn'd heart refused its belief:
Wild and far spreads the moan, from the hut, from
the throne,
Striking every one breathless with fear.
" Oh ! Theseus the bold, thou art stark, — thou art
cold, —
Thou art young to be laid on the bier."
One alone makes no moan, but with features like
stone,
In an ecstacy haggard of woe,
Sits tearless and lorn, with dry eyeballs that
burn.
86 HAROUN ALRASCHID.
And fitful her lips mutter low
Dread tlireatenings against Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph
of Babylon old.
The next morn on the wall, first and fiercest of all,
The distraction of grief cast aside,
In her lord's arms arrayed, Zoe plies the death-
blade, —
Ay, and, marry, right terribly plied.
Her lovely arm fair, to the shoulder is bare,
And nerved with a giant-like power
Where her deadly sword sweeps fall the mighty in
heaps ;
Where she does but appear the foe cower.
Bank on rank they rush on, — rank on rank are
struck down,
Till the ditch is choked up with the dead.
The vulture and crow, and the wild dog, I trow,
Made a dreadful repast that night as they fed
On the liegemen of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old.
This was not to last. — The stern Moslem, downcast,
Eetrieved the next morning their might ;
For Alraschid the bold, and the Barmecide old,
Had proclaimed through the camp in the night,
That whoso should win the first footing within
The city that bearded their power,
Should have for his prize the fierce girl with black
eyes,
And ten thousand zecchines as her dower.
HAROUN ALRASCHID. 87
It spurred them right well ; and they battled and fell,
Like lions, with long hunger wild.
Ere that day set the sun Heraclea was won,
And ISTicephorus bold, and his child,
Were captives to Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old.
To his slave, the Greek hound, roared Haroun the
Eenowned.
When before him Nicephorus came,
" Though the pawn went to queen, 'tis checkmated,
I ween.
Thou'rt as bold as unskilled in the game.
Now, Infidel, say, wherefore should I not slay
The wretch that my vengeance hath sought?" —
" I am faint, — I am weak — and I thirst," quoth
the Greek,
" Give me drink." At his bidding 'tis brought ;
He took it ; but shrank, lest 'twere poison he drank.
" Thou art safe till the goblet be quaffed !"
Cried Haroun. The Greek heard, took the foe at
his word,
Dashed down on the pavement the draught,
And claimed mercy of Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old.
Haroun never broke word or oath that he spoke,
So he granted the captive his life,
And then bade his slaves bear stately Zoe the fair,
To the warrior who won her in strife ;
But the royal maid cried in the wrath of her pride,
CO HAROTJN ALKASCHID.
She would die ere her hand should be given,
Or the nuptial caress should be lavished to bless
Such a foe to her house and to Heaven.
Her entreaties they spurned, and her menace they
scorned ;
But, resolute, spite of their power,
All food she denied, and by self-famine died ;
And her father went mad from that hour.
Thus triumph' d stern Haroun Alraschid, the Caliph of
Babylon old !
G. E. Inmak.
89
TO THE HOT WELLS OF CLIFTON,
IN PRAISE OF RUM-PUNCH.
A Triglot Ode, viz.
1° Tiivoagov mgt QivpoiTos acty.
2° Horatii in fontem Bristolii carmen.
3° % Mick (unpu&lisJjetJ) of "ti)c unfortunate Cfjatterton."
PINDAR.
xXXcv iv vccXa
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