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A Farce. 6 male, 4 female char. 69. A HUSBAND TO ORDER. A Serio-comic Drama in 2 Acts. 5 male, 3 female char. 70. PAYABLE ON DEMAND. A Domestic Drama in 2 Acts. 7 male, 1 female char. Descriptive Catalogue mailed free on application to Geo. M. Baker & Co., 41-45 Franklin St., Boston. LYING WILL OUT. a Comefcg in jFour Sets. H) A PELHAM CURTIS, U.S.A., AUTHOR OF " UNCLE ROBERT," " NONE SO DEAF AS THOSE WHO WON'T HEAR," ETC. 6 (o.t.4 BOSTON: GEORGE M. BAKER AND COMPANY, 41 FRANKLIN STREET. l880. ^ DRAMATIS PERSONS. ANTHONY QUAVER, a Musical Enthusiast. EDWARD QUAVER, M.D., his Brother. ARKWRIGHT, a Professional Musician. TOM GROWL, his Nephew. TOOKEM, Chief of Police. MONTAGUE SHARP, a Lawyer. SOPHIA, Wife of Anthony Quaver. CAROLINE, her Sister, engaged to Edward. FREDERIC, Brother of Caroline and Sophia. ELEANOR, Daughter of Arkwright. Scene — Boston and Longwood. Costumes — Modern and appropriate. [The actor taki7ig the part /^Arkwright should have some acquaintance with the piano.] Copyright, 1880, By LEE AND SHEPARD. Note. — For the right of representation on the public stage, managers of theatres can address the publishers. TMP92-009005 LYING WILL OUT. ACT I. Scene i. — A parlor in Anthony Quaver's house, Bos- ton; doors R. and i.. and C. ; table l. c, lounge R. c. En- ter Edward Quaver from door at L. ; takes hat from table, and goes towards door in F. Caroline {at door l.). Edward ! will you leave me thus in anger? Edward (returns). Have I not ample cause, Caroline ? Caroline. What cause, pray ? Edward. Another untruth ! Another falsehood ! (Crosses.) Caroline. Falsehood ! What an unkind expression ! Edward. Is it not the correct one? Caroline. Goodness, Edward, a mere nothing! A trumpery white fib ! Remember, I'm a woman. Edward. And is that a sufficient justification for violat- ing the truth ? Caroline. Of course not. But they say women must fib in self-defence, once in a while. Weaker vessels, you know. It's a part of our nature. Edward. You wrong your sex, Caroline. Besides, those who begin with trumpery white fibs, generally end with big black lies. Caroline. Gracious, Edward ! What have I done, after all, to make you so portentously solemn over it ? 3 4 LYING WILL OUT. Edward. I asked you, by mere chance, where you spent the afternoon yesterday, and you told me at Williams & Everett's; and now I find — Caroline. Well, dear, there were ever so many reasons why I couldn't tell you the truth, — at least, why I didn't wish to. But I'll tell you now, really, if you insist. Edward. No : I don't insist. Go where you like, do what you like : I shall never object. But do not, do not deceive me. Caroline. I never will again, believe me. Edward. But you've given me that promise so often before. Caroline. You really make much more of it than you ought, Edward. I'm not so much to blame as you imagine. I could scarcely have avoided it, I assure you, for many reasons. Though I own there's a sort of pleasure, some- times, in fibbing. It sharpens the wits ever so — Edward. What possible pleasure is there in telling a lie ? And how can it sharpen one's wits ? Caroline. Oh ! you think it a very simple matter, no doubt. But you are much mistaken. Edward. Surely, Caroline, the merest blockhead can tell a lie ! Caroline. Not by any means. It takes brains. Try it once, dearest, and you'll agree with me, I am sure. Edward. I ? Heaven forbid ! Caroline. Well, I promise solemnly to amend for the future. Is it peace once more ? Edward. Yes. Caroline. And must you go out? Cannot you spare me another half-hour ? Edward. Indeed I cannot. I have half a dozen patients to visit. Caroline. You'll come back in time for tea ? Edward. If I can. Farewell, darling. Remember your promise. {Exit c.) Caroline. Phew! That was a breeze. He asks too much, on my word. What right has he to expect me to tell the absolute truth every day of my life? But I must make haste. That bracelet he gave me, I must find. What could I say, if he were to miss it ! Another fib, sure, and another quarrel ! {Exit L.) LYING WILL OUT. 5 {Enter Edward, c.) Edward. Caroline ! — gone ! ( Walks rapidly towards door, L. Pauses, and comes back.) So it sharpens the wits to tell a lie, she says ! I feel amazingly disposed to show her her mistake. I might, just once. No, no ! after all I've said, it would never do. And yet the temptation is great. By George, I believe I will! — just to refute her. Oh, pshaw ! how ridiculous ! Yet I don't know. Why not, just for once ? The lesson would do her good. I've a great mind to put my pride in my pocket for once. Let me see — what should I say, supposing I decide to try the experi- ment? It ought to be something not incredible nor ex- travagant, but still rather unusual. Let me think. A thousand-dollar fee ? No, no. She'd never believe it. A grand prize in the Louisiana lottery? No: she's goose enough to think that Secretary Key has made that impossi- ble, and she'd cross-examine me into madness. Besides, she'd insist on seeing the money. No : some trifle. I have it! I'll mention carelessly, as it were, I took a ride a- horseback yesterday afternoon, and show her how easy it is to make a consistent story of it. Yes, that'll do. I'll have a hearty laugh on her; for she knows I hate riding, and haven't done it for years. Ha, ha, ha ! (Goings c, meets Frederic, who enters c, and brings him down) Edward. Well, Fred, where are you from ? Frederic. Guess, doctor. Edward. A difficult matter. Some fresh folly, I war- Frederic. Pooh! don't preach. Folly? What d'ye mean ? What you call folly, I call fun. Why shouldn't I enjoy myself? , Edward. You are a capital fellow, Fred; but hadn't you better stick a little closer to your profession? I'm afraid your money will work your ruin yet. Frederic. Stuff! Now, come, Edward. I want your advice. I'm in a dreadful funk just now. Edward. In love again, of course. Frederic. Again ? For the first time in my life ! But you've hit it. I'm chock full ! so full I can hardly eat. Edward. Well, go ahead. Frederic. No. On second thoughts, I'll keep dark. You are too strait-laced, doctor. 6 LYING WILL OUT. Edward. Fred, Fred ! Frederic. Don't be uneasy, Ned. You shall dance at my wedding, and be my groomsman too. Edward. Well, well. It's all right, no doubt. I hope so. But I can't be kept here by you for nothing: I have too much to do, especially as you won't divulge. So good- by. Don't delay me. {Exit c.) Frederic. I was a fool to tell him as much as I did. He's sure to let the cat out of the bag. Carrie will pump him, of course. Hadn't I better go to her at once ? 1 won- der where Tony is. {Enter Anthony, r., with hat and cane. Speaks off) Anthony. I'll be back by tea-time, my dear. {Comes down humming an air.) Frederic. Ah, ha, Tony! Dreaming as usual of the music of the spheres ? Always at it. {Slaps him on the back.) Anthony ! Wake up, I say ! Anthony. Eh? Oh, Fred ! Glad to see you — glad to see you. Frederic. Tony, if you've recovered your wits, I want to get your advice. Anthony. Unless it's very important, I wish you'd postpone it, Fred. You'll bother me. I'm trying to recall an old tune I heard twenty years ago ; and I'm afraid, if I don't catch it, I sha'n't sleep. You'll drive it out of my head. Frederic. Stuff ! Anthony, I say, I need your advice immensely. I do, indeed. Anthony. Fred, you know you never take my advice when you get it. Another love-affair, of course? Frederic. What do you mean by "of course " ? Yes : it's a love-affair, I confess. You remember, don't you, I told you about Eleanor, and how I came to know her ? Anthony. No, I don't. Eleanor ? Oh, yes ! that girl that peeped at you over a wall in Longwood, I think. That's the last you told me of. Another one since ? Frederic. Another since ? Of course not. That was only four days ago. Do you think I'm a gorilla? No, no! We saw each other over that wall I told you of, and fell mutually in love instantly — instantly! Anthony. I'll answer lor your part, Fred. Frederic. But the deuce of it is, I can't get at her. She's kept in a regular prison. LYING WILL OUT. 7 Anthony. A prison ? Frederic. Yes. Her father is a misanthrope of the worst kind, she tells me, and hates everybody. He lives in what he calls his den; and Eleanor has never been outside of it since the old curmudgeon moved in. High wall all round the place, and a big ditch outside the wall. Anthony. I say, Fred, this grows interesting. Good material for an opera. The father a basso profundo, of course. Frederic. Well, we discussed our difficulties over the wall — Anthony. Ay, a duet. Frederic. Till she overcame her first timid scruples — Anthony. Andante, changing to allegro. Frederic. And then I tossed a note over, and she answered with another ditto ; then I kissed her hand from a tree — Anthony. Splendid stage effect ! Frederic. And yesterday I swore I would get over the wall, cost what it might. So I rode out to the place on horseback, tied my horse in a clump of trees, and com- menced the assault. Eleanor wasn't there. Anthony. Just the situation for a swell on the trom- bones, — solemn as possible. Frederic. While I was scrambling across the infernal ditch, I heard voices inside shouting, " Thieves ! robbers ! " Then came a shot, and a bullet whistled close by my ear. Anthony. The deuce ! This is serious. Frederic. Of course I took the back track, and ran to mv horse. But, before I could get to him, came shouts in the other direction, — people attracted by the shot, I sup- pose. Anthony. A chorus ! Frederic. And I hear more cries of "Stop thief!" and threats to shoot. Anthony. Allegro assai ! Frederic. But I finally get mounted, and give my horse the spur ; and, dashing through a cornfield, over a fence, back I ride like fury to town. Now, what shall I do next ? Anthony. Ay, ay ! What we want is the grand finale. Frederic. Pooh, Tony! Confound it all, you haven't heard a word I've been saying ! 8 LYING WILL OUT. Anthony. I have, I have. Frederic. Then give me the best advice you can. Shall I get her to elope ? Anthony. Elope ? Yes, excellent ! Elope by all means. Frederic. Resign her I will not. Her father (old tyrant !) is inaccessible : he never admits even a postman. If I can only see her once more ! Your suggestion, Tony, is admir- able. Elope with her I will, I swear ! Anthony. Yes ; and tell me all the details, — word for word, mind. Frederic. I will. I'll furnish your finale, Tony, trust to me. Anthony. Good ! You'll stay to tea, of course ? Well, I must run. {Exit R. U. E.) Frederic. O Eleanor, poor pining prisoner ! I'll release you from your captivity, if I have to cross swords with Satan himself. They fancy they've driven me off for good, no doubt. No better time than the present, then, to have another try at that wall. I'll pull down the house, but I'll see her this time. {Looks at his watch.) Ha ! set off in an hour. {Enter Caroline, l.) Caroline. Why, Fred ! you here ? And thinking, too, — a miracle indeed ! Frederic. I was thinking of you, Carrie. Caroline. Don't fib, sir. Shame on you ! Of all the sins I hate the most, the most detestable — Say something more probable, at all events. But oh, Fred, I'm in the greatest distress! I've lost the emerald bracelet Edward gave me, and with it a bundle of letters I wouldn't have any one find for the world. Frederic. Where did you lose them ? {Enter Sophia, r.) Sophia. Ah, Fred ! You here ? Plotting some mischief, I dare say. Caroline. Fred, never mind her. You know Sophia. She's a little put out, just now, — no wonder, poor soul! She always plagues us a little at such times. She don't mean any harm. Sophia. So I plague you all, do I ? Humph ! I'm sure I've enough to drive me crazy. Frederic. Sophia, you seem in a delicious temper, I must say. {Picks up his hat.) LYING WILL OUT. 9 Sophia. O Fred ! don't go yet. Don't be angry. Stay to tea. We see so little of you. Frederic. Very good ! Any thing to oblige. But you'll have to be good-natured, then, not bite my head off. Sophia {aside to Caroline). Where are the letters ? Caroline. O Sophia, can you ever forgive me ? Sophia. Speak! speak! Caroline. I've lost them, and my bracelet too. Sophia. Fiddlestick for your bracelet ! Oh ! why did I trust you with them ? {Wrings her hands.) Frederic. Sophie, what on earth is the matter? Sophia {crossly). Nothing, nothing. Let me alone. Frederic. P-r-r-r-r-r-r ! Another storm brewing ! Sophia {aside). Hunt for them, hunt for them ! Oh, if Anthony were to know of them ! {Exit R.) Frederic. Carrie, what the deuce is the matter with Sophie? Caroline. She has good reason for being cross this time. I've a great mind to let you into the secret, — in con- fidence, mind. Frederic. Of course. Go ahead. Hear me swear ! Caroline. Well, then, while Sophia was at school, she was silly enough to exchange a few sentimental letters with a young man named Perkins. Frederic. Perkins ? What ! not — Caroline. Pooh ! Nothing of the sort. W T ell, she soon tired of the man, of course; for he was as stupid as possible, and didn't know how to love, even ; and she has long wished and tried to get her letters out of his hands. * She has never dared to mention them to Anthony — as if he would care, poor dear ! So she got me to write to Mr. Perkins to de- mand them. He agreed to give them up, but demanded a personal interview. Frederic. Fair enough, too. Caroline. We had to submit, at all events, and met him yesterday in a grove just beyond Longwood, where he finally surrendered them to me. I wrapped them up with my broken bracelet, in the same parcel ; and, O Fred, I must have left them on the bench where we sat ! She's crazy till she gets them again. Frederic. I'll hunt for the package, Carrie. Near Longwood, you say. {Aside) Very apropos. IO LYING WILL OUT. {Enter Anthony, humming an air.) Caroline {pushing table to a). Mind, Fred, don't breathe a syllable of it to hi?n. Frederic. Oh, no! certainly not. He's in the clouds, as usual. {Exit Caroline, r.) Frederic {slaps Anthony on shoulder). A piece of our new opera, Tony ? Anthony {starts). Ah, Fred ! it's the most extraordinary thing too. Do you know, try as hard as I can, I can't for the life of me catch it. Frederic. Catch what? Anthony. The air you heard me humming. It's a bit I heard a great many years ago, and it haunts me. It was part of a cantata, or some such thing, — no, an opera, I think, — written by my old music-master, which disap- pointed the public, and got hissed. But there were many good things in it ; and this particular air always delighted me. {Enter Caroline, r., with tablecloth, tray, and tea-things ; sets tabled) Frederic. And what became of the old hissee ? Anthony. The who? Frederic. The hissee, the composer, the author. Anthony. Oh! Ah ! I can't tell you. It soured him, and he disappeared. He left New York with a daughter, a year or two old; and went, nobody knew where. (Aside.) Fred, you've nothing more to tell me yet, about — you know ? Eh ? (Frederic draws him aside.) {Enter Sophia, r., with basket of cake ; sets it 071 table. Caroline sits, and makes the tea.) Sophia. Caroline, what do you suppose those two wretches are plotting there ? Some mischief. Anthony ! Anthony. Yes, dear, in a moment. Sophia. Tea's ready. Take your seat. Humph ! Fine doings, no doubt! Frederic, let my husband alone. I don't want him made any worse than he is. Frederic {comes forward). Sister, you seem to think me a perfect scapegrace. {All sit.) Sophia. You're a man. That's enough. (Enter Edward, c.) Frederic. Here's the doctor. Tell him so. LYING WILL OUT. II Edward. Tell me what? (Sits at table, front r. corner.) Frederic. That you are a scapegrace, a rascal, ex neces- sitate / Caroline. Fred, Sophia was only in jest. Sophia. No, I was not. You'll find Edward out some day, too, I've no doubt. Caroline. Sophia, how can you? Really, you go too far. Sophia. Not a bit. Pray, Dr. Quaver, where were you all yesterday afternoon ? Edward (aside). A good opportunity to bring in my horse-story. Shall I ? Sophia. Well, why don't you tell us ? Edward. I — I — Where was I yesterday ? Oh, yes ! ah ! out riding horseback. All. Horseback ! You ! Edward. Certainly. Why not? Caroline. Edward, dear, I'm amazed. I never knew you to ride horseback in my life. Do you think it's quite safe ? Edward. Didn't you? Oh! because — because — oh! I'm not a bad rider, I assure you. Frederic. Where did you learn it ? Edward. Oh ! — hem — at college. Sophia. Indeed! I always understood you were quite poor at college. Edward. Yes, true. A friend used to lend me his horse. Frederic. Where did you hire your horse yesterday, doctor ? We'll ride together. Edward. Well — I ride so rarely — Frederic. Oh! we'll correct that. Where did you get him ? Edward. From — from — what's his name's. Down the street — oh! yes, Garcelon's. Frederic. Garcelon's ? What horse of his did you take ? Edward. His black. Frederic. I didn't know he had a black saddle-horse. I thought I knew every horse in his stable too. Edward. Did I say black ? I meant white. White, of course. 12 LYING WILL OUT. Frederic. His white ! You must be a better horseman than I took you for, to ride that horse. Edward. I noticed nothing particular in him. Frederic. But he shies so. Edward. Oh! shies — yes, come to think of it, perhaps he did shy a little. A touch of the whip cured that, however. Frederic. Whip! And he didn't have you over his head ? Edward. No, no, what am I thinking of? I remember now I had no whip yesterday. Frederic. I thought Garcelon wouldn't have trusted you with a whip. Where did you ride ? Edward. Oh ! round the country. Frederic. What part ? Edward. What part ? Oh ! hem. Out over the Tre- mont road. Frederic. Tremont road ! Why, it's closed for repairs. Edward. No, no, not the Tremont road, of course. I meant to say the Milldam. Anthony. What time was this, brother? Edward. Towards sunset, I think. Anthony. Queer I didn't see you. I was walking there just about that time. Frederic. And which of the branches did you take ? Edward. The — the middle one. Frederic. Through Longwood? Edward. Yes, I believe so. Frederic. And did you see another person out there on horseback ? On a white horse ? Edward (wiping his forehead). No, I think not. For heaven's sake, let's change the subject. Suppose we all go to the Handel and Haydn to-night. Caroline (rises). Oh, charming ! So we will. Sophia (rises). Come, Anthony, dear, let's go too. I'll run up stairs for my things. (Exit R.) Anthony. You a rider? Prodigious! Strange I never heard of it before. (Exit R.) (Fred rises; Caroline begins to put together the things) Frederick. I'll walk with you only a part of the way, Carrie. I have an engagement. (Takes hat.) Edward (still sitting, aside). Phew ! I breathe once more. What an ordeal ! Heavens ! how many lies have I LYING WILL OUT. 13 told already? A dozen, at least. It's not so easy as I imagined. But where the pleasure comes in, I do not ex- actly see yet. Caroline {on Edward's arm). Come, Edward. I hear Sophia coming. We must get ready. Edward. Certainly. Why, Caroline, where's your bracelet ? Don't you wear it ? Caroline. Oh, of course ! But it's injured a little, and I've left it at a jeweller's to be mended. (Edward looks up at her quickly': she casts down her eyes.) {Aside.) Oh dear, another fib ! {Enter Anthony and Sophia, r.) (Drop.) 14 LYING WILL OUT. ACT II. Scene. — The Den in Longwood; room; window c, backed by garden, with chair and work-basket j piano L.; Eleanor at window, working; evening. Eleanor. Oh, if they had shot him last evening ! What will he think of me ? Shall I go to father, and confess all ? I dare not. He would separate us forever. Is the world so wicked a place as father says? It cannot be, with dear Frederic in it. He is so good, so noble ! I saw he was, the moment he looked over the wall that first happy, happy after- noon. Ah, here is father ! {Enter Arkwright and Growl, r. i. e.) Arkwright. Aha! I knew we should have no more trouble. That thief will never dare to come here again. Growl. Perhaps not — if it was a thief. Arkwright. If it was a thief? What else could it have been, Tom Growl ? Growl. The gardener told me the fellow was handsomely dressed, and rode off on a fine white horse. Thieves don't usually ride fine white horses, I take it. Arkwright. And who do you take him to be ? Growl. Perhaps a lover. Arkwright. A lover? Bah! Of whom ? the cook ? Growl. No ; your daughter. Arkwright. My daughter? Tom Growl, you are a fool. Not a living soul in trousers has set foot inside my wall for these ten years except you and old Doctor Brown. You're a blockhead. Growl. Perhaps I am, — hum ! Arkwright. What the devil do you mean with your " hum " ? Are you drunk ? Growl. No such luck ! — Oh, nothing! She may have seen some one, notwithstanding. Arkwright. How could she? Growl. Over the wall perhaps. I've seen her standing on the hillock pretty often lately. LYING WILL OUT. 1 5 Arkwright. And whom should she see? a peddler? Pshaw, Tom Growl ! if Eleanor had seen anybody whatever, she'd have told me at once. She's candor itself. It's only out in the world that girls learn to conceal and deceive. A lover ! pshaw ! No, Tom : I've promised her to you, and have her you shall. Don't be an ass. Well, well, put those guns away, Tom : we sha'n't want them again. Growl. Shall I fire them off? They might be danger- ous. Arkwright. Dangerous ? You don't mean to say they were loaded last night ? Growl. Yes, I do. Arkwright. What ! not with bullets ? Growl. Of course they were. Arkwright. But you might have hit him, then. Growl. Well, what then ? Ain't you a misanthrope ? Arkwright. Of course I am; but I don't want to be shooting people. Horrible ! Yes, fire them off, by all means, but not over the wall. Growl. Very well, sir. (Exit R. I. e.) Arkwright. Tut, tut! Here's a blockhead shooting real bullets at people. But what if Tom is right? Eleanor, Eleanor, I say! (Eleanor rises, and comes down.) Eleanor. Did you call me, papa? Arkwright. Yes, child. Come here. My darling Elea- nor, the world is full, full of wickedness. Eleanor. Is it, papa ? Arkwright. Yes. I know it by bitter experience. I composed an opera once, — a masterpiece, a divine, a glo- rious work, — and it was hissed; hissed off the stage; hissed, I tell you. Oh, fiends and furies ! Eleanor. Poor papa! Arkwright. I felt a profound loathing for a world so degraded, so vile, and fled from it forever. Eleanor, the thought that you, too, may one day writhe under its poisonous sting fills me with anguish. Eleanor. Oh, dreadful, papa ! Arkwright. I am sure, my darling, you have no desire to suffer as your father has suffered ? To struggle and die in the folds of the social anaconda? To be crushed into a shapeless mass beneath the Juggernaut wheels of society? 1 6 LYING WILL OUT. To be roasted on the slanderous gridiron which the world keeps ever heated for its victims? Eleanor. No, indeed, papa. Arkwright. Of course you don't. {Aside.) Tom Growl is an ass ! Eleanor, you are my only child, and I would fain guard you from such a fate. The inexorable finger of Death already points me out. You will need a protector when I am gone. Eleanor. Don't, papa. Arkwright. Eleanor, listen. Your cousin Tom Growl is a noble soul : without, an uncut diamond ; a high-minded gentleman within. He alone, of all the world, appreciates my music. And he appreciates you, my darling. You shall marry him at once. Eleanor. Ah, papa, papa ! {Covers face with handker- chief.) Arkwright {after a pause). Well, child, do you not thank me ? Why are you silent ? ( Takes away handkerchief) Tears ? Nay, nay, dear me ! Blushes ! Ha ! He tells me he sees you often looking over the garden-wall. Is it true ? {A shot heard. Stage gradually darkens.) Eleanor {screams, and falls on her knees). Father! father ! Arkwright. Nonsense, child! It's only Tom empty- ing the guns. {Raises her.) Compose yourself, Eleanor. Be calm ! Avoid the wall, my precious. You mean no harm, but the peril is enormous. Well, you know my inten- tions now. You shall be married in a week, and be as happy as the day is long, — yes, as the day is long. I'm going now to play my new symphony for Tom's opinion. Resume your sewing at the window, and listen to it. Eleanor {goes to window). Oh, me ! What shall I do ? 1 cannot marry Tom ! I shall die ! I shall die ! O Fred- eric ! {Enter Growl, with candle; Arkwright sits at piano; Growl stands by him, both with their backs to window^) Arkwright. Tom, attend. Eleanor, I have taught you, that, according to my system, there is nothing, nothing, which cannot be expressed as distinctly in music as in words. Listen to this. I'll explain to you as I go on. The subject is "A Whaling Voyage." {Plays.) This opening, Eleanor, represents the ship getting her anchor LYING WILL OUT. 17 up. Now a cow is going aboard. That dominant in C is her bellowing. {Moonlight in the garden^ Frederic {outside the window). Pst ! — sh ! — pst ! _ Eleanor {starts, and looks out). Heavens ! it's Frederic ! Arkwright {plays). Now the ship leaves her moorings. Up comes the anchor ! See, Eleanor, that B-sharp is the creaking of the cable, to the life. ' ' ^ Eleanor. Yes, papa : it's beautiful. {Aside.) Alas! 1 cannot get away. Arkwright. Bang ! That's the signal gun. Eleanor (*«<&). How rash of him ! Thank Heaven, the guns are not loaded ! Arkwright {playing). The ship begins to move over the billows. . .... Eleanor. Gracious ! He's climbing up the trellis [ > Arkwright. These movements depict the ship arriving at the whaling grounds. Frederic {appears at window). Eleanor ! _ ' ' ' , Eleanor. Heavens, Frederic ! father is here ! Fly, fly ! Frederic. He can't see me. Arkwright (plays). No whales in sight. Frederic. At last, dearest, I see you face to face. Arkwright. A whale is discovered at last. Frederic. Put your sweet hand in mine, loved one. I swore to see you to-night, cost what it might. Arkwright. Now the captain prepares to pursue the finny prey. Listen to this, Eleanor. Frederic. Eleanor, do you love me ? Eleanor. Yes, papa. I do, I do, dear Frederic, — too, too much. Frederic. And will you be my wife? Arkwright. The captain is now registering the usual oath to capture the monster, or die in the attempt. Eleanor. Alas, what shall I say ? My father — Frederic. He loves you. He will consent at last. Arkwright. Now a harpoon goes hissing through the air. Eleanor. No, no : he is inexorable. Arkwright. The whale is maddened. Eleanor, do you hear that boat smashed ? Frederic. Why should your father object? I adore you — I am rich — 1 8 LYING WILL OUT. Arkwright {playing). The whale is full of oil and blub- ber. Eleanor. Alas, Frederic, he has promised me to Cousin Tom ! Frederic. Cousin Tom ! That scarecrow ! that impos- tor ! Eleanor ! Eleanor. It will kill me ! Arkwright. The whale gives up the ghost. Eleanor. My heart will break ! Arkwright. Now they are cutting him up. Frederic. Rather death than such a fate as that ! Arkwright. Eleanor, are you listening? Did you hear the blubber sizzle ? Eleanor. What, oh what can I do ? I shall die ! Frederic. Darling ! Elope, fly with me. Eleanor. Elope ! What, leave my father ! Frederic. Only for a day. We will return as soon as we are married. Arkwright. The ship now prepares to return to port. Frederic. Say you consent, dear one. Say you con- sent. Eleanor. I cannot — oh, I cannot! Frederic. Will you marry Tom Growl ? Eleanor. Never ! Alas ! Frederic, the gate is always locked. I could not escape if I would. Frederic. I'll carry you off to-morrow. Eleanor. To-morrow ! Frederic. Yes, your dressmaker is admitted here, you told me. Leave it to me. Arkwright (playing). The ship enters her haven. These closing bars represent the joy of the villagers at her return. Eleanor. I faint with terror J Hush, the music is end- ing. Fly ! Frederic. Good-night, dearest, — to-morrow ! (Climbs down.) Arkwright (closes piano). As magnificent a composi- tion as I ever wrote, I say it without vanity. Growl. Very fine indeed, uncle. (Yawns). Superb. A masterpiece indeed. (Yawns.) Arkwright. Tom, you are right; quite right. You're a whole-souled fellow, Tom. But I see you're exhausted, LYING WILL OUT. 1$ Tom. Your delicate nervous system is suffering from excess of pleasure. You'd better get to bed at once. Growl {yawns). Thank you, uncle, perhaps I had. Good-night, sir. Good-night, Eleanor. {Exit.) Arkwright. Eleanor, you'll be very happy with Tom, — very happy. He is a treasure. Good-night, child. Run to bed now. Don't sit up. {Exit) Eleanor {leans out of window). He is climbing the wall! He is over. Safe! What shall I do? Fly? De- ceive my father? Terrible! Marry Cousin Tom! Ugh! How sweetly he whispered, Dear Eleanor / No wicked per- son could have said it so like an angel ! Good-night, dear, dear Frederic ! {Stands at window kissing her hand) (Drop.) 20 LYING WILL OUT. ACT III. Room in Dr. Edward Quaver's house, handsomely fur- nished ; door c. ; a piano at side of room, l. Anthony Quaver discovered seated at piano; plays and pauses; plays again. (Enter Edward, Sophia, and Caroline, c.) Edward. Hallo ! here's Anthony. Anthony. Eh? Yes, Ned, I'm composing. It was so hot in my own study ! What brings you three here together ? Caroline. We came to inspect the new furniture and things. Edward. Caroline, shall we commence operations ? This way. (All three exeunt R.) Anthony (plays a little). No, it's quite useless. I can- not recall that tormenting melody. I'll go take a long walk to freshen my brains. (Exit R.) (Enter Caroline and Sophia c.) Sophia. The curtains are lovely ! Ah ! my husband's gone. Where did you leave Edward ? Caroline. He's measuring for the large mirror. Sophia. Caroline, doesn't that horseback-story alarm you ? There's some mystery in it, you may depend. Caroline. I'm sure there's nothing wrong. Sophia. Did you observe how reluctant he was to men- tion where he went? Caroline. Sophia, I won't hear another word about it. Why do you try to tease me ? Sophia. Very well : you'll see. You'll go to Longwood this afternoon for the letters ? Caroline. And my bracelet. Yes, certainly. Sophia. We must hoodwink Edward about our disap- pearance somehow. Caroline. Alas, yes ! I suppose we must. I hate to do it, he is so frank, so truthful. Sophia. It can't be helped for once ; and, as for his being truthful and frank — Hoity, toity ! Hush ! here he comes. LYING WILL OUT. 21 {Enter Edward, r.) Edward. I find there's plenty of room for the looking- glass, Carrie. Caroline. How nice ! Well, Sophia, we must really be going. Edward. So soon ? Caroline. We have some calls to make this afternoon. Edward. On whom? Caroline. Oh, fiddlesticks, Edward dear ! too many to mention. However, if you insist, — let me see — Edward. No, no, I don't insist. Don't tax your dear little brain if you're tired. I called at your jeweller's this morning for your bracelet, Carrie, but he knew nothing of it. Caroline. My bracelet ? Oh, thank you ! I left it at a new place, — not Shreve's, this time. {A knock) Edward. Come in. {Enter Montacute Sharp, c.) Sharp. Doctor, good afternoon ! Ladies, your most obedient. Doctor, if you can spare me a moment — Edward. Certainly. Caroline. Shall we go away ? Sharp. No, no. Doctor, I have been instructed to bring a suit against you — Edward. Against met for what? Sharp. An action of trespass. Edward. Trespass ? on whom ? where ? Sharp. Oh ! it's a small matter. You rode out horseback day before yesterday, I believe ? Edward. No, I didn't {glances at Caroline) — yes, that is — certainly. Sharp. Towards or beyond Longwood? to a grove out there, and a Den? Edward. Grove ? Yes, yes ! A grove, certainly ; but I know nothing of a den. Sharp. And did you cross a cornfield ? Edward. Certainly not ; didn't leave the main road. Sharp. A Mr. Furrow, a farmer out there, swears you did, and did him a good deal of damage. Edward. The deuce he does ! Sharp. And that you rode as if you wanted to break your neck. 22 LYING WILL OUT. Edward. It's not so, I tell you. Sharp. Furrow says so — on a splendid white horse. Sophia. What a fearful hurry you must have been in, Edward ! Edward. I give you my honor — well, well. Sharp. Furrow is as angry about it as a man can well be. Still, if you positively deny leaving the road — Edward. No. It may be possible I did for a moment — a short distance. Caroline. How dangerous, Edward ! You might have killed yourself. A cornfield too ! Edward. Pooh ! a gentle trot. Well, Sharp, what had I better do? Sharp. Settle it, I suggest. Twenty dollars will do it, no doubt. Edward. Good. Will you see to it ? Sharp. Certainly. Good-morning, ladies. (A knock.) Edward. I'm getting pretty deep in the mire. Come in. (Enter Chief of Police Tookem, door c.) Tookem. Dr. Quaver, I believe. Doctor, can I have a word or two with you ? Sharp. Ah, ha ! if the police are interfering, I'd better vamose at once. (Exit c.) Tookem. Doctor, I've received a very hot letter from a gentleman named Arkwright, of Longwood, who dates his note from his Den. Edward. The Den again ! This is insufferable. Well, sir ? Sophia (aside). Caroline ! you see ! Tookem. He writes that a burglary has lately been attempted on his premises. A man tried, day before yes- terday, to get across his ditch, and over his wall ; that he fired on him, and he rode away across some cornfields, on a large white horse. Edward. Good heavens ! You don't believe me capa- ble of a burglary ? Tookem. Certainly not. Your testimony may be im- portant, however. Your brother tells me you were out there in that neighborhood. Edward. Yes, I was near there (glancing at Caro- line) ; but I saw nobody. LYING WILL OUT. 2$ Tookem. What time ? Edward. About — about seven. Tookem. Yes. Well, I shall probably call you as a witness — Edward. In court ? Tookem. Of course. A mere trifle when you get used to it. Edward. Great Jove ! After all, I did dismount once, I remember now — to pick a — a nymphcea alba, or some such plant. Tookem. Near a high brick wall ? Edward. Well, very probably. Tookem. Ah, that explains it. He took you for a burglar, and got frightened. Edward. You won't want my evidence now, eh ? Tookem. No, I think not. I shall caution the old gen- tleman to be a trifle less handy with his gun. Excuse my troubling you, sir. Good-day. Edward. No trouble. Much obliged. {Shows him out.) Sophia (aside). Caroline, what do you think now? How frightened he was at the thought of testifying ! Caroline. Of course. A most disagreeable duty. Sophia. Bah ! Edward, your ride seems to get you into unheard-of difficulties. The whole city seems to be talking of it. Edward. Yes. It's the most extraordinary concatena- tion of circumstances I ever knew. However, it's all over now, and I trust I shall never hear the subject mentioned again. Sophia. I hope so. Come, Caroline. Edward. I won't ask you again where you are going. Caroline. Goodness, Edward ! we have a call to make on Mrs. Curtis of Mount Ver — Edward. No, no : I won't listen. Caroline. Edward, you said yesterday you had never heard of the Den ; and yet it seems you went so near it that they took you for a thief. Edward. Yes — oh — ah — I didn't notice the place. Sophia. Ah! just like your poor brother, — always up in the clouds ! Come, sister. (Exeunt c.) Edward. Ugh ! what an avalanche of troubles ! I've 24 LYING WILL OUT. ridden a horse I never saw, to a grove I never heard of; paid twenty dollars I never owed; picked a flower that never grew ; and been shot at for a burglar. If Caroline hadn't been here, I'd have made a clean breast of it. I've a leis- ure evening before me ; I'll go out to that infernal Den, and study the ground, so as to make my story hang together. And, if I ever indulge in another fib, call me ass, and kick me on the spot. {Exit R.) Scene changes to the grove; a bench with parcel lying on it, l. c. Enter Frederic, r., dressed in a woman's gown, mantilla, bonnet, and veil j a bundle in his hands, contain- ing coat and soft hat. Frederic. I make a sweet dressmaker, don't I ? But to work! What if she refuses to elope? Bah! She won't. Now, how shall I get out again when I'm once inside ? Over the wall, of course. Courage ! {Exit L.) Edward {enters r.). This must be the spot. Come, there is a sort of excitement in lying. I've done pretty well for a new hand, I think. That's the wall of the Den, no doubt, — ay, ay. Ah, a woman is going in at the gate ! What a stride she has ! {Goes to bench.) Ah, she's left a parcel ! What's here? A bracelet! Caroline's! {Tears open parcel.) So, another falsehood! Letters "for Mrs. Quaver." Sophia! Indeed! Very fine ! {Pochets package.) Let me look about here a little further. {Exit l.) {Enter Caroline and Sophia, l.) Sophia {hunts about). They are not here. I am ruined. Caroline. This is the place, I'm certain. Oh! what shall I say to Edward about my bracelet ? Sophia. A fiddlestick for your bracelet! Tell him the truth. But my letters ! Oh ! if Anthony — Caroline. Pshaw ! Tell him the truth too. Sophia {at side, l.). Caroline, come here, quick ! Who's that ? Caroline. Edward! Is it possible? Sophia. Now what do you say? This is why he was so ready to have us leave him. Ay, ay. Caroline. Sophia, I hate you! Come, — the carriage ! He mustn't see us here for the world. {Exeunt r.) LYING WILL OUT. 25 {Enter Anthony, l.) Anthony. Ha, what a walk I've had ! Where am I ? Egad, I've not the faintest idea! {Sits on bench, and hums an air.) That's the first half of it, I'm certain. {Continues to hum.) {Enter Eleanor, l., in dress worn by Frederic.) Eleanor. Oh, heavens ! what can detain Frederic ? Oh, if he should have been detected by father ! Ah-h-h-h ! a man! Anthony. Hallo! a girl — and alone! Why do you scream, my child ? {Comes down.) What alarms you ? (Eleanor weeps.) Have you lost your way? Can I not help you ? Eleanor. Oh, sir ! — oh, oh ! Anthony. How did you get here ? Do you live in the neighborhood ? (Eleanor nods.) I can be of no help to you till you tell me your grief. Eleanor. Oh, sir ! take all I have, but spare my life. {Aside.) He don't look so very wicked. Anthony. My child, I have no designs on your life. Ha, ha ! Come, what's the matter ? Eleanor. Oh, sir ! I — I'm afraid you'll — {sobs) — you'll think me very naughty — Anthony. Well, well, speak. Eleanor. I've run away. Anthony. Indeed ! and why? Eleanor. Because I had — {sobs) — to marry a man I hate. Anthony. Oho ! And you like some one else better, I dare say. Eleanor. Yes, sir. {Sobs.) Anthony. And does your lover know of your running away ? Eleanor. He asked me to do it. Anthony. And where is he ? Eleanor. He can't get out — Anthony. From where ? Eleanor {points). There. The Den : papa's house. Anthony. What ! And is his name Frederic? Eleanor. You know him, sir ? Anthony. The scamp! He's done it. Yes, dear: I know him very well. 26 LYING WILL OUT. Eleanor. Oh, sir ! what shall I do ? He came to the house dressed in these clothes, and I put them on. He told me to wait for him here, and he don't come; and I'm afraid he can't get out, and is caught. (Sods.) Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! They will kill him ; and the world is so wicked — and I don't know where to go. Anthony (aside). Now what shall I do ? I have it ! I'll take her to Ned's new house, and then hunt him up, and let him know. Come with me, my child. No harm shall happen to you. Eleanor. And Frederic? Anthony. Have no fears about Frederic, dear. He'll take care of himself. Dry your tears, and come with me. Don't be frightened. I'll take care of you. (Exeunt.) LYING WILL OUT. 2.J ACT IV. Scene. — Next morning. Edward's new house. Same as in Act III. On table the package of letters. Anthony {enters hastily, a). Couldn't find Ned last night anywhere ! I must calm the apprehensions of that dear child. {Sees package) Ah ! for my wife ! I'll take charge of these. {Pockets letters) Hallo ! {Knocks, door l. u. e.) My darling ! It's only I. Come out. Eleanor {opens, and comes down). Oh, sir ! have you seen Frederic? Anthony. No, not yet. Eleanor. Alas ! Papa has killed him! Anthony. Pooh, pooh, child! They told me at his lodgings that he came in about eleven, in a frenzy, and rushed out again directly. Eleanor. He is alive, then ! Anthony. Oh, yes! no fear. Trust to me, dear. All will go well, depend on it. Eleanor. ' And father ? He'll hunt for me everywhere — find me here {sobs) — carry me home — marry me to cousin Tom instantly ! Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! Anthony. Stuff and nonsense ! He can't find you here. I'll go again, and try to find my brother. Wait patiently till I return. {Exit c.) Eleanor. Heaven be praised, Frederic is still living! {Exit into chamber) {Enter Edward and Caroline, r.) Sophia {outside). I'll take a look at the kitchen-range, Caroline. I have my doubts about the flue. Edward. Caroline, let me return you your bracelet. I received it from your new jeweller. Caroline. O Edward! have some indulgence for me. You don't know how I was situated when I told you that fib. Edward {turns to get it). Why, it's gone ! Perhaps I left it in one of the other rooms. Caroline, I hope you did not go alone to that grove ? 28 LYING WILL OUT. Caroline. No. Sophia was with me. Don't ask why. The affair was hers. But, Edward, dear, may I ask what takes you to the grove so often ? I saw you there yesterday myself, when we went to find the letters. Edward. So that was your call on Mrs. Curtis ! Caroline. Why do you go to Longwood so often, I ask you ? Edward {aside). How infernally tedious this lying is becoming ! I suppose I must keep it up. Oh, I — I — I was botanizing. A sort of heath-cabbage, the erica, grows there, and I wanted a few specimens. It's a favorite food with bees. Caroline. Confess now, Edward. It sounds very im- probable that you should go so far to get heath-cabbage. Edward (aside). This is getting to be awful. I feel my- self blushing all over. Caroline (aside). Can Sophia be right? He blushes! No, he is too true, too noble — Sophia (enters a). • Edward, your bosom-friend, the chief of police, is asking for you again. Edward. Again ? Furies ! (Goes to door.) Caroline (aside). The letters are here. Sophia. You told him nothing? Caroline. Certainly not. ■ Edward. Walk in, Mr. Tookem. Tookem (enters c). Ladies, good-morning ! I regret that my errand is still a disagreeable one. Edward. What now ? Tookem. Doctor, a fresh complaint. It seems a cow was shot that evening near the Den, and some laborers swear you did it. They heard a shot, and saw you rush away on a white horse. Edward. Indeed! This is delicious indeed! I shall be accused of murder and arson next. Caroline. O Edward ! surely it was not you. Why did you kill that poor dear cow ? Edward. I never shot a cow in my life. Absurd ! What should I go shooting cows for? (Enter Arkwright, c.) Arkwright. So, here is the villain. Let me at him ! Let me kill him, I say ! Caroline. Edward, what does this mean ? Who is this man? LYING WILL OUT. 29 Edward. I don't know in the least; some madman. Sir, your conduct is extremely offensive. Arkwright. Is your name Quaver? Edward. It is. Arkwright. Then, sir, you are the infamous scoundrel I want. Policeman, seize this monster ; arrest him. Edward. Sir, are you mad ? Arkwright. Mad? Wretch, you have destroyed my happiness forever. Caroline. Edward, explain, I implore, — I demand. Edward. I can't. Sir, your shouting is monstrous. What is your business ? Arkwright. Robbing! theft! kidnapping! Edward. Mad, mad! Sophia. Caroline, what did I tell you? Arkwright. Take down the charge, officer ; arrest this villain. Tookem. Go easy, sir ; state the facts. Arkwright. Very well, sir. (Shouts.) Yesterday I de- manded your protection against burglars. Tookem. Oho ! you are Mr. Arkwright, I take it. Very well, Mr. Arkwright. Your fears of burglary were ground- less. Arkwright. Groundless ? It's already committed. I've been robbed again, I tell you. All. Robbed ? Arkwright. My treasure, my — my masterpiece, sir, — yes, my daughter, my only daughter, sir, has been stolen, — stolen. Sophia. I see it all. Oh, the atrocious wretch ! Arkwright. And there stands the robber. Edward. Take him away; he is mad, — stark mad. Arkwright. Mad? Oh, I'll be revenged! A man lurking about my garden last night, a break in my wall, my daughter missing ! She has been kidnapped, — kidnapped, kidnapped ! Villain, where is my child ? Edward. This is monstrous, insufferable. Arkwright. Wretch, you deny it ? Officer, this monster has ridden out every day for months, on a white horse, to my place. My shame lies at his door. Oh, the fiend! the — the abductor ! the — the desecrator ! Edward. I must confess the truth ; I can lie no longer. 30 LYING WILL OUT. Caroline. What ! lie ? you ? Sophia. He confesses, he confesses. The wretch ! Edward. I was never at this wretched old man's place in my life. Too'KEM. You told me only yesterday you had been. Edward. I invented the whole story, to laugh at Caro- line. Caroline. But I saw you there, myself, only last even- ing. Edward {striking his forehead). You did ! You did ! Sophia. He confesses his guilt, Caroline. Ah, me ! {Sinks into a chair.) Edward {shouting). I swear to you that was the first and only time. I never set eyes on this madman before in my life, nor his daughter. {Enter Tom Growl, c.) Growl. Mr. Arkwright, she's here ! I saw her looking out of the window ! Edward. Another maniac ! There's not a soul in this house, outside of this room. Arkwright. 'Tis false ! She's here ! Edward. She's not, I say. Growl. I saw her ! Edward. No, I say. No, no, no, no, no ! Growl {joints). That's the very room, I'll take my davy. {Comes down L.) Edward. Caroline, satisfy this lunatic. Show him the room is empty. Go with them, Sophia. (Caroline and Sophia exeunt door l. u. e.) Arkwright {striding about stage). O villain ! Revenge ! revenge ! Caroline {outside). Oh, I am deceived ! betrayed ! Sophia {enters with Eleanor, followed by Caroline). Come along, you trollop ! Eleanor. Oh, heavens ! my father ! Arkwright (r. c.). Yes, your father, shameless hussy! Edward (r.). Are all the fiends of the pit leagued to torment me ? Caroline {comes down l. ; weeps). O Edward ! have I deserved this ? Sophia (l. c.). It's too abominable ! But I always pre- dicted it. LYING WILL OUT. 31 Edward. I am utterly bewildered. I shall go mad ! Sophia. First, sir, you took a ride — Caroline. And then you didn't — Sophia. First, you'd never seen Longwood — Caroline. And I saw you there, myself, only yesterday. Sophia. You didn't know this poor man's daughter by sight — • Caroline. And I find her hidden in your own house. Edward. Caroline, hear me ! Caroline. This is your heath-cabbage. (Weeps.) Edward. Caroline, I implore you — Caroline. That the bees like ! Edward. Would you see me a raving maniac before your eyes ? Caroline. Don't speak to me, sir. Go to your erica — your heath-cabbage ! Arkwright. Revenge ! revenge ! Edward. These accusations are totally false, totally groundless. Arkwright. This is too infamous! Villain! marry the hussy instantly. Growl, go find a clergyman. Edward. Silence, old dotard ! I can't marry her. I'm engaged to this lady. Caroline. No, sir ; no. I renounce you forever ! Arkwright. Engaged, and kidnap my daughter ! In- famous dog ! I'll have your worthless life ! Sophia. Wretch! And my husband may be doing it next ! Edward. Caroline, I beg, I entreat — hear me — Sophia (supporting Caroline). I never felt any confi- dence in you, sir. I never do in any man. But such a depth of depravity as this, even I never imagined. Poor, dear, suffering thing ! Edward. Girl, how came you in my house? Speak. Tookem, attend. Did you ever see me before ? (A paused Look at me. Answer. Eleanor (faintly). No. Arkwright. No ! Never saw him ? Your kidnapper, your betrayer, your — your — Edward. Did I kidnap you? Eleanor. No. % Edward. Silence ! How came you in my house ? Who brought you here ? 32 LYING WILL OUT. Eleanor {faintly). Your brother. Sophia. My husband! Oh the deceitful monster! Arkwright. Husband ! This is fearful ! Shameless hussy ! Sophia. My husband kidnap a girl, and not tell me! Oh, I am dying, I am dying ! oh ! oh ! {Enter Anthony, c.) Anthony. O Ned! I've been hunting for you all over town. (Starts back.) Arkwright. This is the scoundrel, then ! Ha ! Fu- ries ! (Seizes him by collar, and brings him down stage.) Sophia (seizes him on other side). Traitor, behold your work ! behold the ruin you have wrought ! Anthony. Bless my soul ! what do you mean, Sophia ? Sophia. I didn't suppose you could be quite so aban- doned ! Oh, oh ! Edward. Explain, Anthony. Anthony. Let go of my collar. Explain what ? Sophia. Unblushing woman-stealer ! How dare you look me in the face ? Edward. Did you bring this young woman to my house, or not ? Anthony. I did. Arkwright. He confesses ! Sophia. He's too ashamed of himself to lie. Oh, you'll repent this ! Edward. Why did you? Anthony. I acted for the best — my goodness of heart — Arkwright. Hang such goodness of heart ! Stealing my daughter! Oh ! I'll break every bone in your body. Anthony. I found her. Arkwright. Bah ! liar. Anthony. Young woman, did I find you, or not ? Eleanor. Yes. (Weeps) Anthony. You were eloping with some one else. Wasn't it so? Eleanor. Yes. Anthony. I found her in Longwood, by accident — Sophia. Beautiful accident ! Oh, you abandoned traitor ! Anthony. She begged me to help her: so I brought her here, meaning to tell Edward. But he couldn't be found. So, in my embarrassment, you see — LYING WILL OUT. 33 Arkwright. Zounds ! I will know who is the villain ! Anthony. Ask your daughter herself. Arkwright. Eleanor, who is it ? Eleanor. I — I don't want to tell — Arkwright. You must ; you shall. Eleanor. Fr — Fr — Frederic. All. Frederic ! Anthony. Yes, Frederic ! He loves her to distraction. Old man, old man, see what your obstinacy has led to ! Arkwright. Would you drive me mad, sir ? Who is this Frederic ? Where is he ? {Enter Frederic, c.) Frederic. Where is she? Eleanor, my darling, my treasure, do I find you once more ! Oh, what a night of misery I have passed ! Anthony. Ah, all right now ! I'm out of this scrape ! {Retires up.) Frederic ' {embraces Eleanor). But all my wretched- ness is ended now ! Arkwright. This before my very eyes ! So, sir, you stole my daughter? You shall hang for this. Why did you steal her ? Frederic. Because I love her, — adore her. Arkwright. How did you get to know her? Frederic. Over the wall. Arkwright. When? Frederic. A week ago, sir. Arkwright. And she never told me! This is her boasted candor ! Atrocious child ! Eleanor. Oh, father ! Pardon ! Pardon ! Arkwright. Silence ! Tom Growl, get me a carriage. {Exit Growl, c.) Frederic. Oh, sir! will you, can you, be so cruel ? Arkwright. Useless! I'm inexorable! The fellow who runs away with a daughter of mine forfeits her from that moment. Frederic. Would you doom both of us to a life of mis- ery ? Arkwright. Fudge! Stuff! Out of my way ! (Anthony, who has seated hiinself at the piano, now plays the forgotten air. Arkwright starts.) Caroline. Poor thing ! my heart bleeds for her. 34 LYING WILL OUT. (Arkwright begins to sob.) Caroline. What is this ? Is the old wretch turning suddenly imbecile ? Edward. His mind has given way, I fear, indeed. Arkwright {rushing to Anthony). Where did you learn that air ? where, I say ? Anthony. This air ? Oh ! I had forgotten myself. From an old opera I heard once in New York. Arkwright. And have remembered it so long? You loved it then ; yet the opera was damned. Anthony. Yes, but unjustly. Many parts of it are still great favorites. Arkwright. Is it possible ? Eleanor, the world is not so evil as I thought. Anthony. Why, bless my soul ! Now I see you nearer, you must be — you are my old teacher, Mr. Semitone. Arkwright. I bore that name in happier times, till the world scorned it. Anthony. Surely, sir, you remember me, — Anthony Quaver, your old pupil ? Arkwright. Quaver? I do, I do. (Wiping his eyes.) You still love your old master's music, then ? Anthony, you have poured a flood of happiness through my darkened soul. Frederic. Pour another through our souls, Mr. Ark- wright. Arkwright. Eleanor, the world looks brighter, brighter. I never felt so happy in my life. Eleanor. Dear papa ! then grant me your forgiveness. Arkwright. Nay, my child : forgive 7ne, rather, for all my harshness, my cruelty. Be happy, my children ; marry, and be happy. Eleanor and Frederic. Best, best of fathers ! Sophia (wiping her eyes). Anthony, I have done you an injustice. Anthony. Pooh, pooh, wife ! let it pass. Here's some- thing belongs to you. (Takes out packaged) Sophia. And you haven't opened it? O Anthony, An- thony, what an angel you are ! (Retires up) Caroline. Edward, I have wronged you. But what an escape you have had ! Confess now, fibbing is not so easy as you fancied. Edward. I do, Caroline, I do. It is tremendous. I own up. LYING WILL OUT. 35 Growl {opens door). Carriage is here, uncle. Arkwright. Get into it yourself, you dog ! — ha, ha ! — and get the Den ready for a wedding in the twinkling of a bedpost. Growl {joyfully). A wedding ? Arkwright. Not yours, you dog! don't hope it. I've changed my mind. Growl. Fiends and furies ! (Exit, slamming door) Arkwright. Children, we'll have the wedding next week; and no such trash as Mendelssohn's march either. No. You shall march to the altar to the strains of " The Whaling Voyage," — a far finer composition, though I say it who shouldn't; and I'm sure the ladies and gentlemen present agree with me. {Disposition of characters at fall of curtain) Always Get the Best. 50 of the Choicest Selections in the u Eeading Club and Handy Speaker Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, 50 cents; paper, 16 cents. CONTENTS. The Red Jacket Old Age who George M. Baker. Leigh Runt. Aldine. Mark Twain. d . to I Douglas Jerrold's Fireside Saint* Whillier. E. C. Stedman. Mahmoud The Closet Scene from "Hamlet' [low he saved St. Michael's . Samson The Story of the Bad Little Boy didn't come to Grief. Mr. Caudle and his Second Wife Tauler The Doorstep ^ Old Farmer Gray gets photograph Mr. O'Gallagher's Three Road Learning .... The Jester's Sermon . . " The Boofer Lady " Defiance of Harold the Dauntless Battle Hymn .... The Story of the Faithful Soul " Curfew must not ring To-Night The Showman's Courtship . How Terry saved his Bacon . The Senator's Pledge Overthrow of Belshazzar The Hour of Prayer The Squire's Story . The Happiest Couple . . Godiva Farmer Bent's Sheep- Washing The Deutsch Maud Muller . Charles Sumner . . • The Bricklayers . • . A Stranger in the Pew . The Mistletoe-Bough The Puzzled Census. Taker . The Voices at the Throne Hans Breitmann's Party . Rob Roy MacGregor Der Drummer .... The Yankee and the Dutchman's Dog Popping the Question The Bumpkin's Courtship The Happy Life At the Soldiers' Graves . Nobody there . The Factory-Girl's Diary In the Tunnel . " Jones " . The Whistler . M Good and Better " Sold by all booksellers and publishers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on receipt of price. LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. Capt. Mttrryat. Walter Thornbury. Dickens's *' Mutual Friend.* Scott. Korner. Adelaide Procter. Charles Sumner. Barry Cornwall. Airs. Hemans. John Phoenix. Sheridan. Tennyson. Carl Pretzel. Carl Schurz. G. H. Barnes. Harper's Mag. Bayley. J. G. Saxe. I. Westioood. Charles G. LelandL Walter Scott. Sir Henry Wotton. Robert Collyer. Anonymous. Morton. Tou wilt find one of your Favorites among 50 of the Choicest Selections in the M Beading Club and Handy Speaker Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, 50 cents; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. The Rescue John Brownjohn. The Pickwickians on Ice Dickens. A Picture Mrs. H. A. Bingham, Tobe's Monument Elisabeth Kilham. The Two Anchors R. II. Stoddard. The Old Ways and the New .... John H. Yates. By the Alma River Miss Muloch. Trial Scene from " Merchant of Venice " . Shakspeare. The Sisters John G. Whittier, Farm- Yard Song The Fortune-Hunter John G. Saxe. Curing a Cold Mark Twain. In the Bottom Drawer ..... Two Irish Idyls Alfred Perceval Grave* Over the Ri^er Priest. The Modest Cousin Sheridan Knowles. Biddy's Troubles The Man with a Cold in his Head . Harry and I The Shadow on the Wall .... The Little Puzzler Sarah M. B. Piatt. A Traveller's Evening Song .... Mrs. Hemans. 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Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, or sent by mail on receipt o; *te* LEE <& SHEPARD, Publishers, Bostox You will find the Piece you are looking for among 60 of the Choicest Selections in the u Beading Club and Handy Speaker. Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, SO cents; paper, IS cents. CONTENTS. Fra Giacomo Robert Buchanan. Bob Cratchit's Christmas-Dinner . . Dickens. The First Snow-Fall James Russell Lowell. The Countess and the Serf . . . . J. Sheridan Knowles. Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man . » Mark Twain. Losses Francis Browne. Mad Luce All the Year Round. The Solemn Book- Agent .... Detroit Free Press. What the Old Man said .... Alice Robbins. Bone and Sinew and Brain .... John Boyle O'Reilly. Pat and the Oysters ..... Twilight Spanish Gypsy. The Singer ........ Alice Williams. Speech of the Hon Pcveae Pe^bodf on the Acquisition of Cuba . . . Bunker Hill George H. Calvert. Two Births Charles J. Sprague. The Old Fogy Man Auction Mad ....... 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Destruction of Her- ) ... . culaneum j ^therstone. Temperance Wendell Phillips. Roast Pig. A Bit of Lamb .... Charles Lamb. Similia Similibus Two Loves and a Life William Sawyzr. The Recantation of Galileo .... Francis E. Raleigh. Mosquitoes K. K. The Law of Kindness ; or, The Old Wo- \ m ,, „ .„ man's Railway Signal ... j Ehhu B ^ntt. Ode . George Sennolt. Mr. Stiver's Horse T/ie Danbury News Man. 60 Id by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpetP » receipt of price. LEE -fc SHEPARD, Publishers, Bostoi*. H you are tasking for Something New, you wilt find it amonf, 50 of the Choicest Selections in the M Reading Club and Handy Speaker, Edited by George M. Bajcer. Price, cloth, 50 cents; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. ay' The Tramp Joan of Arc Decoration Minot's Ledge Scene from " The Hunchback Widder Green's Last Words The Cane-Bottomed Chair The House-Top Saint . Tom .... The Song of the Dying . My Neighbor's Baby " The Paper Don't The Post-Boy . What is a Minority ? 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Philadelphia Bulletin. Frederick Whittaker. Will Carleton. William Mitchell. Theodore Parker. Chronicle, Augusta, Ga. Everett. J. M. Bailey. Detroit Press. Mrs. Virginia L. French. Dickens. Alexander Anderson. J. Ed. Milliken. Longfellow. Rev. Newman Hall. R.H. F. H. Gassaway. Charles F. Adams. M. Quad. Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, receipt of price. LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. The Freshest, Brightest, and Best, are the 50 Choicest Selections in the Beading Club and Handy Speaker, Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, SO cents; pap?,, 15 cents. CONTENTS. The Ballad of Ronald Clare . The Scotchman at the Play . The Dead Doll A Charge with Prince Rupert An Irish Wake The Honest Deacon Tact and Talent The Two Glasses . Whistling in Heaven Noble Revenge . Dot Baby oft' Mine. (By permission) The Amateur Spelling-Match Why Biddy and Pat got Married Art-Matters in.Indiana . Miss Edith helps Things along The Flood and the Ark . Not Dead, but Risen Ballad of a Baker . Five Uncle Remus' Revival Hymn A Mysterious Disappearance An Indignation-Meeting . Something Spilt From the Sublime to the Ridiculous "'tis but a Step " Scene from " The Marble Heart" The Seven Ages A Watch that " wanted cleaning.' (By permission) Tired Mothers . Good-by " One of the Boys " The Bridge .... A Rhine Legend The Little Shoes did it . Burdock's Goat Faithful Little Peter Blue and Gray ... Mollie, or Sadie? . Butterwick's Weakness . Between the Lines . Somebody's Mother . . ■ The Ballad of Constance Failed . . . . . The Canteen .... A Blessing on the Dance An Exciting Contest The Last Redoubt . " If We Knew "... Scone from "London Assurance The Kaiser's Feast . Sideways Thome a S. Collier. M Mansie Wauch." Margaret Vandegri/t. T. W. Higginson. London Atlas. Harper's Magazine. Charles Follen A lams. Earl Marble. R. II. Stoddard. Bret Harte. Charles Dicken* s*\*mcick Paper* Charles Selby. Shakspeare. J. T. Fields. Frank Foxcroft. H. W. Longfellow. Curtis Guild. William Winter. C. G. Ilalpine {Miles O'Reilly'). Irtcin Russell. Alfred Austin. Btucicault. Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on receipt of price. LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. Hi. 6 The Best Yet. 50 Rare Selections. Reading Club and Handy Speaker. Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, SO cents ; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. Count Eberhard's Last Foray Tkos. S. Collier. Tammy's Prize Deaf and Dumb Anna F. Burnham. The Changed Cross Virginius to the Roman Army Elijah Kellogg. The Fountain of Youth Hezekiah Butterworth. They Met Clerical Wit Greeley's Ride Mark Twain. Der Shoemaker's Poy The Sergeant of the Fiftieth The Fan Drill Spectator. Warning to Woman The Cavalry Charge F. A. Durivage. Widow Stebbins on Homoeopathy Charles F. Adams. The Fight at Lookout R. L. Cary, Jun. The Well-Digger John G. Saxe. Behind Time Freeman Hunt. A Miracle Charles H. Webber. Weaving the Web The Great Future George F. Hoar. A Christmas Carol " Them Yankee Blankits " Samuel W. Small. Jim Lane's Last Message Sherman D. Richardson, One Touch of Nature A Disturbance in Church Max Adeler. The Palmer's Vision J. G. Holland. A " Sweeter Revenge " The Farmer's Story David Hill. Paddy O'Rafther Samuel Lover. The Fireman's Prayer Russell H. Conwell. Down with the Heathen Chinee ! New- York Sun. John Chinaman's Protest M. F. D. The Sweet Singer of Michigan Ten Years After Kate Putnam Osgood. Putty and Varnish Josh Billings. Nationality Rufus Choate. Tacking Ship off Shore Walter Mitchel. Immortality Phillips Brooks. Mr. Coville Proves Mathematics J. M. Bailey. Blind Ned Irwin Russell. The Benediction Francois Coppee. " Conquered at Last" Maria L. Eve. The Ship-Boy's Letter An Irish Love-Letter George M. Baker. Reserved Power Talk about Shooting The King's Kiss Nora Perry. Joe's Bespeak A Disturbed Parent Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on receipt of price. LEE & SHEPARDj Publishers. Boston. You will find nothing but rare Gems in ihe 50 Choice Selection* In the Reading-Club and Handy Speaker. M Edited by Geouge M. Baker. Price, cloth, 50 cents ; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. A Royal Princess Christina G. Rossetti. A Reminiscence H. B. Hooker, D.D. The Last Hymn Marianne Famingham The Fool's Prayer Atlantic. The Dead Student Will Carleton. Greatest Walk on Record Drawing Water This Side and That George Macdonald. Civil War Anonymous. A Modern Sermon That Calf Phoebe Gary. The New Dixie G. L. C. The National Game Unple Mellick Dines with his Master . • . J. R. Eggleston. Maud's Misery San Benito Helen M. Gilbert. How Rand a went over the River . • • . C. C. Coffin. The Ladies Mark Twain. Two Fishers Harper's Weekly. Left Alone at Eighty " Dashing Rod," Trooper S. Conant Foster. Orient Yourself Horace Mann. Rhymes at Random The Carpenter's Wooing, and the Sequel . . Tawcob Strauss. A Humorous Dare-Devil Bulwer. Hohenlinden Campbell. St. Leon's Toast The Patriot Spy F. M. Finch. How Neighbor Wilkins got Religion . . . James Berry Bensel Jim Wolfe and the Cats Mark Twain. Pledge to the Dead William Winter. A London Bee Story Quiz. A College Widow Acta Columbiana. u He Giveth His Beloved Sleep " . . . . J. C. Huntington. Hannibal at the Altar Elijah Kellogg. Creeds of the Bells J.W. Bungay. The Pomological Society Ave Maria Cornhill Magazine The Singer's Alms Family Portraits . . School for Scandal. The Irish Boy and the Priest The Retort A Free Seat «... Paddle Your Own Canoe All 'b Well that Ends Well Jimmy Butler and the Owl ...... Anonymous. A Modern Heroine Elizabeth Cuming$. Down Hill with the Brakes Off 9. H. Jessop. On the Channel Boat G. L. C. The Pin . Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, post paid, lkyg fctf ^iiteuf BY GEORGE M. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS IllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllWlllllllllllllllIli 016 102 888 5 & Author of " Amateur Dramas" " The Mimic Stage,'" " The Social Stage," "The Drawing- Room Stage," " Handy Dramas," " The Exhibition Drama" "A Baker's Dozen," etc. Titles in this Type are New Plays. Titles in this Type are Temperance Plays. DRAMAS. In Four Acts. Better Than Gold. 7 male, 4 female char In Three Acts. Our Folks. 6 male, 5 female char. . . The Flower of the Family. 5 male, 3 female char Enlisted for the War. 7 male, 3 fe- male characters. , . My Brother's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- male char The Little Brown Jug, 5 male, 3 female char In Two Acts. Above the Clouds. 7 male, 3 female characters One Hundred Tears Ago. 7 male, 4 female char Among the Breakers. 6 male, 4 female char Bread on the Waters. 5 male, 3 female char Down bv the Sea. 6 male, 3 female char Once on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. The Last Loaf. 5 male, 3 female char. In One Act. Stand by the Flag. 5 male char. ^ . The Tempter. 3 male, 1 female char. COMEDIES AND FARCES. A Mysterious Disappearance. 4 male, 3 female char Paddle Your Own Canoe. 7 male, 3 female char. A Drop too Much. 4 male, 2 female characters A Little More Cider. 5 male, 3 fe- male char A Thorn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 female char. Never Say Die. 3 male, 3 female char. Seeing the Elephant. 6 male, 3 female char The Boston Dip. 4 male, 3 female char. The Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- male char Thirty Minutes for Refreshments. 4 male, 3 female char We're all Teetotalers. 4 male, 2 fe- male char Male Characters Only. A Close Shave. 6 char. A Public Benefactor. 6 char A Sea of Troubles. 8 char COMEDIES, &c, continued. Male Characters Only. A Tender Attachment. 7 char. . . . xs Coals of Fire. 6 char. „ 15 Freedom of the Press. 8 char. ... 15 Shall Our Mothers Vote ? n char. 15 Gentlemen of the Jury, 12 char. « . 15 Humors of the Strike. 8 char. . . 15 My Uncle the Captain. 6 char. . . 15 New Brooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. . 15 The Great Elixir. 9 char 15 The Hypochondriac. 5 char 15 The Man with the Demijohn. 4 char. .■'.'. 15 The Runaways. 4 char 15 The Thief of Time. 6 char. . . . 15 Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. . . , 15 Female Characters Only. A Love of a Bonnet. 5 char. . . 15 A Precious Pickle. 6 char 15 No Ci^re no Pay. 7 char 15 The Champion of Her Sex. 8 char. . 15 The Greatest Plague in Life. 8cha. 15 The Grecian Bend. 7 char. .... 15 The Red Chignon. 6 char. .... 15 Using the Weed. 7 char. 15 ALLEGORIES. Arranged for Music and Tableaux. Lightheakt's Pilgrimage. 8 female char 15 The Revolt of the Bees. 9 female char. . 15 The Sculptor's Triumph, i male, 4 fe- male char 15 The Tournament of Idylcourt. 10 female char 15 Thf "Var of the Roses. ' 8 female char. 15 MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. An Original Idea, i male, 1 female char, 15 Bonbons ; or, the Paint King. 6 male, 1 female char 25 Capuletta ; or, Romeo and Juliet Restored. 3 male, 1 female char. . 15 Santa Claus' Frolics 15 Snow-bound ; or, Alonzo the Brave and the Fair Imogene. 3 male, 1 female char • • 25 The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe. . . 15 The Pedler of Very Nice. 7 male char • • •. • T S The Seven Ages. A Tableau Entertain- ment. Numerous male and female char. 15 Too Late for the Train. 2 male char. 15 The Visions of Freedom, ii female char. *5 Geo. M. Baker & Co., 41-45 Franklin St., Boston. Baker's Humorous Dialogues. Male characters only. 25 cents. Baker's Humorous Dialogues. Female characters only. 25 cents.