GEO. M. BAKER'S NEW PLAYS. NEVADA, or The ILost Mine. 3 Acts. Price 25 cts.n^ / il^ PAST liKDEMFTION. 4 Acts. Trice 25 cts. f s( 0? 0%) COMKADKS. 3 Acts. Price 2o cts. .JZ>\^/-»^^ TI'I'ANIA. A Fany Play lor Cliildren. 2 Acts. Price 25 cts. OUIl FOLKS. 3 Acts. Price 15 cts. KEIiKCCA'S TKIUMPH. For female cliaracters only. Oilier New I'lays. l^l'ricc 25 cts. SANTA CLAUS THE FIEST. A Christmas Play for Children By F. E. Chase. Price 25c. POISON. As played by the "Hasty Pudding Ci.ur" of Harvard Collcirc. Copyright, 1876, by George M. Bakek. Spencer's Universal Stage. A Collection of COMEDIES, DRAMAS, and FARCES, adapted to either Public or Prii>at» Performance. Containing a full description of all the necessary Stage Business. PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH. (@~ No Plays Exchanged. LOST IN LONDON. A Drama in 3 Acts. 6 male, 4 female characters. NICHOLAS FLAM. A Comedy in 2 Acta. By J. B. Buckstoue. 5 male, 3 female char. THE WELSH GIF.L. A Comedy in 1 Act. By Mrs. Flauche. 3 male, '2 female char. JOHN WOPPS. A Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 4 male, 2 iemale char. THE TURKISH BATH. L Farce in 1 Act. By Montague Williams and F. C Burnand. G male, 1 female char. THE TWO PUDDIFOOTS. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. OLD HONESTY. A Comic Drama in 2 Acts. By J. M. Morton. 6 male- 2 female char. TWO GENTLEMEN IN A FIX. A Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 2 male char. SMASHINGTON GOIT. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 3 iiemale char. TWO HEADS BETTER THAN ONE. A Farce in 1 Act. By Lenox Home. 4 male, 1 female char. JOHN DOBBS. 'a Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 5 male, 2 female char. THE DAUGHTER of the REGIMENT. A Drania in 2 Acts. By Edward litzball. 6 male, 2 female char. AUNT CHARLOTTE'S MAID. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. BROTHEE, BILL AND ME. A Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 4 male, 3 female char. DONE ON BOTH SIDES. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton, 3 male, 2 female char. DUNDUCKETTT'S PICNIC. A'Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. C male, 3 female char. I'VE WRITTEN TO BROWNE. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char. MY PRECIOUS BETSY. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 4 male, 4 female char. MY TURN NEXT. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char. THE PHANTOM BREAKFAST. A Farce in 1 Act. By Chas. Selby. :j male, 2 female char. DANDELION'S DODGES. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. A SLICE OF LUCK. A Farce m 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 4 male, 2 female char. ALWAYS INTENDED. A Comedy in 1 Act. By Horace Wigan. 3 male, 3 female char. A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP. A Comedy in 2 Acts. By Charles Matthews. 6 male, 4 female char. ANOTHER GLASS. A Drama in 1 Act. By Thomas Morton. G male, 3 female char. BOWLED OUT. A Farce in 1 A.ct. ByH. T. Craven. 4 male, 3 female char. COUSIN TOM. A Commedietta in 1 Act. By Geo. Roberts. 3 male, 2 female char. SARAH'S YOUNG MAN. A Farce in 1 \ct. By W. E. Suter. 3 male, 3 female char. HIT HIM, HE HAS NO FRIENDS. A Farce in 1 Act. By E. Yates and N. U. Har- rington- 7 male, 3 female char. THE CHRISTENING. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. B. Buckstone. t> male 6 female char. A RACE FOR A WIDOW. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 4 female char. YDUR LIFE'S IN DANGER. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. TRUE UNTO DEATH. A Drama in 2 Acts. B V J. Shendaii Knowles. 6 male, 2 female char. 36. DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. An Interlude in 1 Act. By W. H. Murray. 10 male, 1 female char. 37. LOOK AFTER BROWN. A Farce in 1 Act. By George A. Stuart, M. D. 6 male, 1 female char. 38. MONSEIGNEUR. A Drama in 3 Acts. By Thomas Archer. 15 male, 3 female char. 39. A VERY PLEASANT EVENING. A Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 3 male char. 40. BROTHER BEN. A Farce in 1 Act. Bf 5, M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 41. ONLY A CLOD. A Comic Drama in 1 Act By J. P. Simpson. 4 male, 1 female char. 42. GASPARDO THE GONDOLIER. A Drania in 3 Acts. By George Almar. 10 male, 2 female char. 43. SUNSHINE THROUGH THE CLOUDS. A Drama in 1 Act. By Slingsby Lawrence. 3 male, 3 female char. 44. DON'T JUDGE BY APPEARANCES. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 2 female char, 45. NURSEY CHICKWEED. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Wi.liams. 4 male, 2 Iemale char. 46. MARY MCO; or, Which shall I Marry? A Faice in 1 Act. By W. £. Suter. 2 male, 1 female char. 47. EAST LYNNE. A Drama in 5 Acts. 8 male, 7 female char. 48. THE HIDDEN HAND. A Drama in 5 Acts. By Robert Jones. IG male, 7 female char. 49. SILVERSTONE'S WAGER. A Commedi- etta in 1 Ar;f.. By K. R. Andrews. 4 male, 3 fe- male char. BO. DORA. A Pastoral Drama in 3 Acts. By ^las. Reade. 6 male, 2 female char. 55. TH:<] WIPE'S SECRET. A Play in 6 Acts. By Geo. W. Love i. 10 male, 2 female char. 56. THE BABES IN THE WOOD. A Com- edy in 3 Acts, By Tom Taylor. 10 male. 3 fe- male char, 57. PUTKINS , Heir 1 3 Castles in the Air. A Comic Drama in i Act. 'By W. R. Emerson. 2 male, 2 fe .ale char. 58. AN UGT-Y CUSTOMER. A Farce in 1 Act By Th-^mas J. Williams. 3 male, 2 female char. 59. E LUE AND CHERRY. A Comedy in 1 Act 3 malp, 2 female char. ^ 60. A DOUBTFUL VICTORY. A Comedy in 1 Act. 3 male, 2 fenijle char. 61. THE SCARLET LETTER. A Drama in 8 Acts. 8 male, 7 female char. 62. WHICH WILL HAVE HIM? A Vaude- ville. 1 male, 2 female char. 63. MADAM IS ABED. A Vaudeville in 1 Act 2 male, 2 female char. 64. THE ANONYMOUS KISS. A Vaudeville. 2 male, 2 female char. 65. THE CLEFT STICK. A Comedy in 3 Acts. 5 male, 3 female char. 66. A SOLDIER, A SAILOR, A TINKER, AND A TAILOR. A Farce in 1 Aci. 4 male, 2 female char. 67. GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME. A Farce. 2 male, 2 female char. 68. DAMON AND PYTHIAS. A Farce. « male, 4 female char. 69. A HUSBAND TO ORDER. A Serio-comic Drama in 2 Acts. 6 male, 3 female char. 70. PAYA BLE ON DEMAND. A Domestic Drama iu 2 Acts. 7 male, 1 female char. Descriptive Catalogue mailed free en applkaiim^ ^ (ieo. M. BaKtr ii to., 47 Franklin St., Bostou. THE BACHELOR'S CHRISTMAS A CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENT BY E. a Ay. AUTHOE OF "SAUTA CLAUS AT H03IE' BOSTON GEORGE M. BAKER & COMPANY / REMARKS. Tins little play is written for the use of persons wishing at Christmas some very simple entertainment which a few can execute, and which will be short, easy of performance, and inex- pensive. Do not be afraid to select and trust quite yoiuig chil- dren to do their parts. The author has had much experience with young children, and they always more than fulfil expecta- tions. Work easily and quietly with them, and do not rehearse them too much. Instruct them to speak clearly, loudly, and slowly. Never, no matter if the speech be of but one word, let them hurry ; and always make a good opportunity for their little speeches, and give them time enough to have full effect. A child young enough to sit in a high-chair, and be given a rat- tle and other playthings, will add very nnich to the picturesque- ness of the piece, and will give good opportunity for grouping and occupying the other children. The child may be called "baby," even if quite old, if it is somewhat small. Copyright, 1884, By GEORGE M. BAKER. All rights reserved. The Bachelor's Christmas. DRAMATIS PERSONJE. Mk. Kobekt Chester. — A wealthy, hot-tempered, but kind- hearted bachelor. Mrs. Wilton. — A poor widow with a family of small chil- dren. She proves to be Mr. Chester's sister. Harry. — Mrs. Wilton's oldest child. Kex, Daisy, Dotty, and Baby. — Her other children. A serving-boy. Harriet. — A maid. COSTUMES. Mr. Chester always as comfortably and stylishly dressed as is possible. Mrs. Wilton and the children very poorly, with clothing neat but patched, until the last scene, when they must be gotten up to look as pretty and stylish as possible. Time, less than an hour. PROLOGUE. (Before the curtain. Enter Daisy and Dotty: trip to the middle of stage.) Dotty. Merry Christmas ! Merry Christmas ! Merry Christmas to you all ! Merry Christmas, fathers, mothers; Merry Christmas, sisters, brothers; To big folks and to small Daisy. We can wish it, you must make it. In the heart the merry grows : From the heart the face must take it, Till with Christmas joy it glows. Daisy and Dotty. So Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to you all ! Merry Christmas, fathers, mothers; Merry Christmas, sisters, brothers; To big folks and to small. A BACHELOR'S CHRISTMAS. SCENE I. Street. Tico days before Christmas. Enter Mr. Chester. Me is muffled up very wai^m and com* fortahle looking. - Mr. Chester (searching for something on the ground) . Fool ! Idiot ! To lose a pocket-book at my age ! I must be getting into my dotage. Br-r-r ! How cold it is ! A curse on the malicious fates ! I shall never see that money and those valuable papers again. You can stake your — - (Stojis suddenly on looking u]?^ ayid seeing Harry tvatching him. Harry's clothes are patched; he has no overcoat; a tippet around his neck. He has his hands in pockets^ and keeps his feet in motion to keep them warm.) Hullo, youngster! What are you spying after, I should like to know? Haven't you any thing better to do than to stand around poking fun at your betters ? Harry. I'm not poking fun, sir. Mr. C. Well, just let me know why you consti- tute yourself a spy on gentlemen's movements. Hey ! Get out of my way, I say, young impudence {lifts his 5 6 A bachelor's cheistmas. cane tJireateningly at Mm. Harry dodges) . What do you want around here, anyway? Harry. I thought you seemed to be looking for something, sir. Mr. C. Well, and if I was looking for something? Isn't that my privilege, sir? Be off, I say ! {Suddenly changing tone, as an idea strikes liini.) I say, little boy, you haven't found any thing, have 3^ou? Harry. Yes, sir : I found a pocket-book with a lot of money in it. Mr. C. {irritably). Well, now you talk business. {Angrily.) But wliy don't you give it to me, and not stand gaping there? I suppose you want to chaffer about the reward. Hand it over, I say ! {Strikes the ground angrily with his cane.) Hand it over. You need have no fears. I shall pay you handsomely. Harry. But mother said I was to be sure it was the right man, 'cause there's ever so much money in it. Mr. C. True. Your mother is right. Of course, of course. But I am the right man, you see : so you may give it to me. Harry. But mother said I must ask the man his name ; for there's a whole bunch of his cards in it. Mr. C. Why, of course ! What a dolt I am ! I'm acting like the impatient idiot that I am, and the boy keeps his temper like a gentleman. {Bending down pleasantly to Harry.) My name is Robert Chester. Now, is that the name in the pocket-book? Harry. Yes, sir ; that is the name. Mr. C. Well, then, now you will give me the pocket-book, won't you, like a nice little boy? A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 7 Harry. But I haven't got it. Mr. C. Fury and lightning ! Haven't got it ! Then where in — Ah-ahem {beading pleasantly down to the boy ugain). Where is it, then, my little man? Harry. Mother's got it. She says I'm too little to cany around such a lot of money. I'll go right home and get it. {He starts to go.) Mr. C, That's true, of course. Your mother is right again. Here, wait. I'll give you my card, so your business-like mother will be satisfied (2mts his hand in ove)xoat-pocket for his pocket-book^ then sud- denly recollecting). Oh, I forget! my cards are in my con — Ah, in my lost pocket-book, you know, of course. Here {he finds a scrap of paper in one of his 2)ockets^ writes his name on it, and gives it to Harry). There, that will do. How far do j^ou live ? Harry. Just around the corner. I'll be back in two jiffies. {He 7'iins off.) Mr. C. {solo) . Now, I wonder how long the chap will be gone. I haven't half-a-dozen wits about me, or I should have gone with him. Br-r-r 1 How cold it is ! Ah, here comes the boy ! He's spry, that's a fact. One must be, this weather, or freeze. {Enter Harry, out of breath.) See here, youngster, are you crazy? Don't 3^ou know it's cold weather? Harry {staring in surjyrise) . Sir ! Mr. C, I say, it's a stinger of a day. Why don't you wear your overcoat ? Harry. I haven't any overcoat. I've got this big tippet, though. Mr. C Nonsense ! Now, what a reasonable yarn 8 A BAOHELOE'S 0HKISTMAS, that is ! Haven't soy overcoat^ gacb weather as this ! That's likelvy tJiat m, . Why doesn't your stHpid father get you one ? Habky {a little prm(dhf) . I haven't any father, and my father vjamH stitpid, Mr, C. I beg your patdoK, Of cotifs^ he wasn't, {Aside.') Vni the ^tHpid one. No father at aO I that'g shocking really, aed stich a baby too 1 {To hjy.) Bat aren't you cold, you know ? PIarky. a little bit, iiometiroe^; but wbes I'm hi^ I'll earn me an overcoat, Mr. C% (aside). Hear hnu, now ! D'ye s'pose he's too jryoor to hare a coat? On honor, I've heard them tell of such things; but no, it's ab^nrd, it ean't t^e, Not to have an overcoat, such weather as this t {To hoy.) Well, little l>oy, did yoo brijig my pocfeet-book? If you did, I'm thinking you've eanaed yourself an overcoat wittiout waiting till you're big, Harry. Mother i^ays die is soiTy to trouble jon^ sir ; but I'm not very big, and, as it's only a ^tep, ^\\e would feel safer if she gave it to you herself. Mr. C. Bah ! another delay. I was a fool not to go with you in the first place. After all, she is right. Come along, my man. {Exeunt Mr, Chester and Harry.) A BACHELOR S GHEISTMAS. SCENE II. Mrs. Wilton's Jiome, Very poor and desolate looking. The pocket-book lies half-open on a pine table. The children,, excepting Hakky, gathemd around the table^ intent upoti the pocket-book, Mrs, Wilton aslde^ holding in, 7ier hand tJie piece of paper Harry brought from Mr. Chester. Hex. Ob my buttons ! Just look, Daisy ! See the 2yiles of money. My e^^es ! I wish it was ours. We'd have the big turke}^ that's hanging up down to Smithes for Christmas dinner, wouldn't we though? 'n' cran- b'ries, 'n' nuts, 'n' all the fixings. {They peep at it excitedly^ bid do not touch it.) Mrs. W, {apart ^ looking at the paper in her hands) . Eol)ert Chester ! my own brother. And this was writ- ten by his own hand ! What will he be like ? ( Greatly agitated.) Will he know me? No, no, he will not know me. Twelve long years of poverty have changed me so ! How I tremble at thouaht of meeting him again ! Daisy {going to her mother). Mamma, would you know how to cook a great big turkey? Rex. 'Cause if you would, mamma, keep the money, 'n' we can buy the one hanging up down to Smith's, 'u' have some more coal, 'n' be warm. Keep it, mother : /would. Harry found it, 'n' /think it's ours. Mrs. W. Hush, dears : you do not know what you are saying. The money isn't ours. Hark ! they are 10 A bachelor's Christmas. coming. (Aside.) Heaven help me ! I tremble like a leaf. (Stejis outside. Harky rushes in, rims up to his mother, and speaks hastily.) Harry. He's cross as a bear, mother, but don't 3^oa be afraid. He's all right. (Rushes back, shows in Mr. Chester.) Mamma, this is Mr. Chester. He's the man who lost the pocket-book. Mr. C. (very much embarrassed) . Your son, madam, ahem — your boy here — ahem ! (He looks in iconder around the room.) You don't mean to say, madam, that you Hve here ! Mrs. W. Yes, sir: this is our home. (Aside.) He doesn't know me ! It is cruel — cruel ! Mr. C. But really, madam (still looking around), ahem — I beg your pardon, it's none of my affairs, you know; but — ah — well, ahem — ah — What I mean is, you know, I shouldn't think you'd like it. Mrs. W. (aside). Poor Robert ! He's no idea of poverty. How should he have? He has always lived in luxury. (To Mr. Chester.) It's tlie best I can do for them, sir. My family is large, and I have no husband and no money. Mr. C. Hm ! Really ! Possible ! I'd no idea, you know, it was so bad. We give a good deal of money to 'em for the poor ; really we do indeed, madam, and you ought to have some of it. Of course you ought. Hm ! (Excited.) It's shocking -3^ou haven't. It is really, you know. Mrs. W. (aside). M}^ own brother, and he v:iU not know me. And he has changed too. It seems impos- sible that this is my bright brother Bob. A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 11 Mr. C. And your boy found my pocket-book. I am the right man, madam. Indeed, you may believe me. Mrs. W. (giving him the pocket-hooTx). Certainly I believe you, and I am very glad my son was able to do you the service. Mr. C. Yes, yes. And what shall I — you kuow what I mean — ah — What's the right thing to pay him for his honesty, you know? How much do you want? Mrs. W. {proiidly). We want no pay, sir, for being honest. Honesty is its own reward. Mr. C. (nervously). Why, yes, of course, madam; of course, without doubt. That's a very sublime sen- timent, — very, and I approve of it perfectly, per- fectly, madam ; (turning to Harry) but look here, young man, you know, set your own price, and you needn't be at all bashful. Harry. Mother is right. I will not be paid for bemg honest. Mr. C. (striking his cane angrily on the floor). Con- fusion to your fine sentiments ! You little simpleton, I say you shall be paid. Gods and heroes ! Do you think you're to do me a service like that, and not be paid for it? (The children start hack ivhen he strikes his cane, the smallest one clinging to its mother.) Daisy (coming foricarcl in front of Mr. Chester, and stamping her little foot vigorously, and looking up in his face). Harry isn't a simpleton, and j^ou're a naughty, bad man. Harry sha'n't take whatever he don't want to — so now ! (Stamps again.) 12 A bachelor's chbistmas. Mr. C. {frowning down at Daisy a moment, then iq)on all the rest, suddenly bursts into a kmgli). Ha, ha, ha ! You pretty baby ! What do you know about it, — you? See here, baby, wouldn't you like a lot of money? now say, ivouldn't you? Daisy. 'Nuff to buy the big turkey hanging up down to Smif s? Dotty. 'N' some candy dogs 'n' horses? Rex. 'N' rae a big tippet like Harry's? Mr. C. That's it exactly, my cherubs : j^ou've hit it plum. And your little fool of a brother won't take the money. Now, what do you say to that? Daisy (stamping again). Harry isn't a fool-ver- brover, and if Harry doesn't want us to have 'em we don't want 'em. ( Wags her head at him defiantly, and goes to Harry.) Won't you let the man give us some money? Please do, Harry dear, and we'll have a nice big fire, and be warm. It's cold. Mr. C. (winces as he looks at the fire). Shades! It's only the ghost of a fire. Dotty. An' we'll be rich, Hally. Rex. Do, Hal. Let him. We need the money more'n he does. Harry (to Mr. Chester). When I found your pocket-book, sir, I was going over to do some errands for Smith. He was going to give me half a dollar. I lost the job waiting round for you. You could pay me the half-dollar, if you please, sir, — just for my time, you see. Mr. C. Ha, ha ! You are a regular little business man, you are. Really, 1 like that, after aU. And A BACHELOe'S CHRISTMAS. 13 what were you going to do with your half-dollar, pray? Harry. Mother and I were going to get some little presents to put in the children's stockings. Mr. C. {very 7nuch amused) , The children's stock- ings ! That goes ahead of every thing yet. And aren't you one of the children yourself, pray? Harry. Oh, yes ! but I'm the big one, you know ; and — and father told me to help mother take care of the littler ones. Mr. C. {aside^ very much affected). And what could you buy for the little ones, my man, with your fifty cents? Harry {hrighthj) . Oh, lots of things ! A tippet for Hex ; and there's lots of cunning little things for the girls at Carter's, for only five cents apiece ; and then some candy, {hastodng to explaiit) just the very least bit, you know, sir, to tuck way, way down in the toes. Mr. C. Well, my boy, here's your fifty cents {giv- iiig him a silver half-dollar) ; and you've earned it, my boy, indeed 3^ou have {brushes his eyes excitedly) . You are a good boy, a very good boy. ( Taming to Mrs. Wilton ; the children alt examine Harry's half-dollar.) Madam, you ought to be proud of your son : he's a man, every inch of him. I'm a cross, crusty old bach ; but I've got half an eye, and I can see they are fine children, all of 'em. And now, madam, be kind enough to take this money {lays a bill on the table) ^ and buy them some nice Christmas presents. (Mrs. W. makes a inotion of refusing.) No, uo, my dear madam ! 14 A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. it is not to pay yonr honesty ; no, indeed {pompously) , certainly not. It would be absurd, it would be an insult, to offer anybody pay for being honest, — ahem (embarrassed) , ah — ah — of course it would. I agree witli you. It's only a Christmas present to your good little children ; just exactly, madam, just exactly as I would give Christmas presents to my little nephews any nieces if I had any. Yes — ah — that's it; I agree with you perfectly, you know. Mrs. W. (aside). Oh, it is cruel! Why will he not know they are his nephews and nieces ? I will tell him. {Starts to attract his attention, but her courage fails.) No, no, I cannot: I have not the courage. It is enough just to have seen his dear face : I will be satisfied. Mr. C. Good-day, madam. {To Harry.) Good- day, my fine boy. Good-day, all of you. A — a — merry Christmas ; yes, merry Christmas, that's the way they say it, and I trust you'll have it. You'll hear from me again, madam ; yes indeed, of course. I wouldn't let it end there. Good-day. {Exit.) Mrs. W. My brother ! my brother Bob, and he is gone, actually gone ! It is too cruel ! I cannot bear it. I was wrong, I was wrong ! I should have told him. He is hasty, but he is not hard-hearted. He would have taken care of my little ones ; and now he is gone, and I know not where. {Buries face in her pocket-handkerchief. The children gather., some about baby., some about Harry and his money.) {Curtain.) A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 15 .. SCENE III. Mr. Chester's room in hotel. Enter Mr. Chester ' in his costume of Scene I. and II. Mr. C. (throws his gloves on the table tvith an em- 2)hatic gesture). Really, I wouldn't have believed it. It doesn't seem possible, such poverty as that. Right under our very eyes, too ! AVell (provdly)^ I've always given them all the money they've asked me for, for charitable purposes, — every cent. I've never been grudging. It's a comfortable reflection, that is, — a very comfortable reflection. (Hangs his overcoat on the nail ichile talking, then takes off his boots, and puts on slip2^ers. He takes off his inside coat, and in an ab- sent-minded tvay throws it into the corner of the room, and tries to hang his boots on the nail.) Well, reall}^ ! What an old dotard I'm orettino- to be ! Here I am banging up my boots, and throwing my coat in the corner. (He puts them right.) Strange I cannot get these people out of my mind ! I didn't believe I had such a thing as a heart. I thought it was dried and withered all to nothing. And here I find I have one, and it is stirred through and through. Bah ! I'm get- ting weak and feminine. I sent them the turkey. I'll send them fifty or a hundred dollars, and forget all about them. Really, it's absurd to allow myself to be so weak. (Bings the bell, and, picking ^ip a paper, seats himself to read. Enter boy. He takes no notice. Boy waits respectf idly . Looks up.) Dolt! Don't you see 16 A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. those boots? Weil, and haven't you eyes to see that they need blacking? {Exit boy ivith boots.) My mind reverts continually to Mary. My pretty sister Mary ! Perhaps she is alone in the world like this woman, — alone and poor, with half a dozen children to care for. God forgive me ! I was a beast to turn her away ])e- cause she married a poor man, — I {bhfbberlng) , I who was all she had after father and mother died. What a beast I was 1 I'm a criminal. I'll give myself to the authorities to be hung, {Bloics his nose^ and 2')€Lces the stage excitedly,) What weakness and folly is this ! (Fiercely,) It was her own fault. What right had she to marry a man without a cent in his pocket? I gave her her choice, — her own brother, or poverty. She chose the poverty, — she freely and deliberately chose the poverty. It is her own fault — not mine. {Seats himself savagely in a chair^ and tries to read, A few notes of piayio in an adjoining apartment are heard, then a voice sings, " Peace on earth, good-will to men," etc, Throics paper angrily doivn. Siuging continues.) Thrum, thrum, thrum 1 They are at that eternal rehearsal again. I suppose they will keep that up till after Christmas {jxiciug excitedly up and down the stage). No one ought to be allowed to disturb people's peace in this fashion. If they must keep up such a racket, they ought to be made to get off by themselves. {Sits down., and gradually begins to listen. (Song stG2)s, A feiv Uugering notes on the piano.) *' Peace on earth, good- will to men ! '* I know I shall never know peace on earth again till I find my sister Mary, and find her I will. {Gets up excited again^ A bachelor's cheistmas, 17 pounds the table idth his fist.) When Robert Cliester says be will do a thing, it is done } and before Heaveii I say I will iiDd be? 1 Marry a pool* mars, indeed ! Why sb€Hild Bhe not marry a poor man if she chooses? I adnsire her pluck for doing it, Wowldu't I iHarr3^ a poor woman if it plea&ed Riy will ? Bast I {Soherly and luith great feeling.) But poor Mary ! Perhaps; she is like this woman — who know®? How do I know her biisband is still living? Twelve years! He's had tiafe enough to die a dozefl times. Bat {vehemently pounding the tcihle ivith his fist) I say I will hod Mary, 111— I'll— I'll be her slave, {Blubbers. Enter hmj.) BoT, Bid yoa call me ? Mr, C, (angrily). Did I ring? Boy, Yoa poanded, sir. Mr. C, (fiercely). Well. hasnH a mati the privilege In this hotel of pounding without being called to task for it? Go I (Exit boy.) Bat how to find my poor Mary? I have it ! I'll advertise. {Picks vp piece of paper ^ takes pencil frmn pockety aiul torifes ^^ Lost/') Lost, lost I No, that won't do (crosses it, and imites again). Strayed, strayed! 1 shoakl say she was a cow (crosses it mit). I'm an idiot, I'll employ .t de- tective. No, that's worse yet. I shotild hoi>e she isn't a thief or a murderer. ( Throtus dotvn pencil^ scoids^ and thinks a moment. Suddenly starts tip in great ex- citement^ and rushes up and dotvn the stage.) Know- nothing ! Fool ! Idiot I No wonder the voice thrilled me ! No wonder my dead heart came to life again I It's Mary. It's Mary herself ! Heaven forgive me I Have I let her come to this ? I did not know ; I — I 18 A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. • — how should I, — how should I know it was so bad ? But no, no, it isn't Mary. It can't be ! Mary was rosy and plump and beautiful ; and this woman — But twelve years ! Twelve years of such living ! No wonder she is changed ! {Flies around excitedly.) But I'll get her — I'll get her and her children this instant. {Looks for his boots, and. rings bell.) Strange she did not know me, — very strange ! {Blubbers.) And I'll be a father to her children. I'll — {Enter boy.) You scoun — {Aside.) Wait! If I'm to be a father to Mary's babies, I must stop that sort of thing. {Aloud to boy.) I say, will you please be kind enough to bring me my boots? and {fiercely) mind you are not half an hour about it either. {Exit boy.) This Christ- mas will find me a changed man. {Puts on his over- coat energetically.) What a wretch I've been ! What a blind-eyed, crusty old cosseter of myself I've been ! But it's ended. I — {Enter boy ; he puts down boots., looks shyly at Mr. Chester, and exit. Mr. Chester sits down, and tries to put on his boots.) I'm an old — old — I never knew before a man couldn't put on his boots with his overcoat on. {Throics off overcoat, jnits 071 boots very rapidly, draivs on mittens, puts on hat, and picks up cane) . I always thought Christmas was a regular bore, but I believe I'm getting on a thorough Christmas spirit myself. {Cutely to audi- ence.) Send 'em fifty or a hundred dollars, and forget them! ha, ha! I made a joke that time, didn't I? Ha, ha 1 {Exit smartly.) A BACHELOE's CHRISTMAS. 19 SCENE IV. Mrs. Wilton's liome. A big kirkey lying on the table. Tlie children gathered around the turkey in delight. Mrs. Wilton sitting thoughtftdly apart. Harry {pidling the turkey by one leg, the better to ex- amine it). It is, it's the big turkey that was hanging up at Smith's. I know him sure : I've looked at him so many times, wishing we could have him. Daisy. And now we've got him ! Eex. Who do you s'pose sent him? Daisy. That man, of course. Harry. Oh ! but he's a fat fellow. My eyes ! I wish he was baked. Mrs. W. (aside). He's a kind man if he is gruff. I wish I had had the courage to tell him I am his sister. He is rich. Perhaps he would have taken care of us. Oh, my poor husband, my poor dear husband ! {Puts her head on the table, with her face in her handkerchief. The children go toward her.) Daisy. Mamma, dear mamma, what is it? Please tell us. Aren't you glad we've got a turkey, and lots of money? Don't, mamma dear, don't cry. We were so poor yesterday, and now we are rich. Rex. Say, mamma, a^-e we rich now?- and what makes you cry? Harry. I know. She is thinking of papa. I've been thinking of him too. But mamma {anxiously) it'll be Christmas in two days, you know ; and oughtn't 20 A BACHELOB's CHRISTMAS. we to make it as merry as we can, — just for the children ? Mrs. W. Just for the children ! You dear, brave, tiny little man ! How would mamma ever get on with- out you? {Takes Harry's face between her hands^ and kisses it.) Yes, we wilt malve it merry. You must all hang up your stockings to-morrow night, and I don't believe Santa Claus will forget you. To-morrow after- noon you will be good children, and take care of the house ; and I will go down town, and spend {holds up finger merrily at them) — you know what I {Children dance, and clap their hands*) And it will all be secret ; and you must shut your eyes when I come home, and not ask any questions. And then Christmas morning ! ah, won't our eyes shine I You'll seel {Children dance, and clap hands.) Harry, /ought to go with you to carry the bundles, mamma. {A knock, and Mr. Chester enters. Mrs. Wilton starts.) Mr. C. {looking very stern). Well! {He looks around the room. Aside.) How shall I begin? It's very embarrassing. {He scoids.) Well ! Mrs. W. {aside). How he scowls, and how stern he looks ! Oh, he suspects, and he is angry ! Now Heaven help us ! Daisy {stepping in front of him, and looking up in his face). Was it you 't sent it? Mr. C. {taking no notice). Bad enough ! bad enough !" I can hardly believe my senses. {Aside.) Yes, it is my sister, my beautiful blooming sister Mary. {Aloud.) And you say you have no father ? A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 21 Mrs. W. No, they have no father. Their father died Dearly a year ago. Mr. C. {suddenly and in a commanding tone^ rapijing his cane on the floor) . But I say they have a father. {Pauses grandly. The children seem a little frighteyied,) I say they have a father. Now and in the future / am their father so long as I live. {Pauses again in an impressive manner.) Daisy {steiyping forioard^ stamping her foot ^ and look- ing up in his face). You're 7iot our papa. You sha'n't be our papa. Our papa wasn't cross. He was kind and good, — ever so kind and good. {Steps back, wag- ging her head defiantly.) Mr. C. {froivning doiun at Daisy, then around at the rest. He breaks down stammering and blubbering). Mary, Mary, my sister, don't you know me? don't you know your brother Bob? {Blows his nose, and is very much excited. Mrs. Wilton buries her face in her handkerchief, and sobs.) Rex {fiercely, stepping toward him belligerently). You go away ! You are a naughty, bad man, 'n' you make my mother cry. Harry. And take your turkey, and all your money. Daisy {going in front of him, and stamp)ing) . Go away ! Dotty {going in front of him, and stampiyig). Quick, orfle quick ! Mr. C. {dreadfully perplexed). See here, Mary, your children are afraid of me. Tell 'em, tell 'em, Mary : /can't. Tell 'em I'm their father. — See here now, children, you know, I'm not cross. Really, now, 22 A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. little clears, I'm not. I'm the kindest man in this city ; I am now, really, only — why, you see, I don't know how to show it. {Suddenly winks to audience triumph- antly. Aside.) I have it! {Sits doivn, and ogles to 4he children^ and beckons to them.) Come here now, little dears, and I'll tell you a story, — a true one! Come now. Dotty {coming over to him). And won't you hurt us — truly ? Mr. C. No, indeed. {Puts her on his knee.) There, I like that ! You shall be my especial pet. Now {to Daisy), you come too, little pussy. {Makes a 7ioise as if calling a cat.) Dotty {x)utting her hand on his cheek., and pulling his face toward hers). Daisy isn't a kitty. Mr. C. {feigning the greatest surprise). No indeed ! There, now I have j^ou. {The boys draw nearer.) Now for the story. ( Very pompously, and as though it were an astonishing statement.) Once I was a little boy no bigger than you ! Rex. O' course. Daisy. All big folks was little folks like us once, wasn't they? Mr. C. {puzzled and aside). What shcdl I say next? How shall I tell 'em? I ivon't tell 'em at all : they'll hate me. I'll patch it up somehow. {Aloud to the children.) And I had a little sister, — a dear, beautiful {blubber's, and takes out handkerchief), beautiful little sister. It was your own mother, children, — your own mother, my beautiful, rosy little sister was. Mary {turn- ing to her) , Mary, come here, and tell them it is true. A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 23 Mrs. W. {rises, arid stands beside Mr. Chester tvith her arm over his shoulder) . Yes, my darlings, it is my owu dear brother Robert ; and thank God he is come ! Mr. C. {using his handkerchief freely) . And, chil- dren, it's a big world — and — and — and I lost her. And now I've found her, and I shall never lose her again. ( Gets up, and very clumsily puts his arms around her, and kisses her.) No indeed, I will never lose her again, before Heaven I swear it ! (To the children, in his ogling tone again.) And now, little darlings, will you let me be your father? Dotty. If you'll be good. Daisy. And if mamma says so. Mr. C. If and if! It seems, then, I may get the mitten yet. Hey, little folks, I have a fat pocket- book, you know ; and you won't have to wish for things any more and not have them — ha, ha ! How will you like that? Rex. And shall we drive a span, and have lots of servants, and live in a castle ? Mr. C. Hi ! {very proudly and grandly) my son, you get on fast. Daisy. Like kings and queens in fairy stories? {Claps her hands.) Oh, I shall love that ! Mr. C. {proudly again). Tut, tut, my little daugh- ter ! Your expectations tally with your brother's, don't they? Mrs. W. {smiling). No, no, dears, not that. Your uncle means plenty of food, and warm clothing to keep you warm, and — and — a happy, comfortable home. Mr. C. {looking grandly around on the company). 24 A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. Am I, then, at last the accepted head of this house, and father of these children ? Rex (running to liim^ and taking his hand). Oh, you good, good, new papa! Daisy {she and Dotty dinging to his other hand; baby ivith mamma). I'll be good always, always^ and mind 3'ou ; and I know I'll like to be rich. Mr. C. Tut, tut ! Dotty. An' me too. Harry {throidng his arms around his mother^ s neck). O mother, mother ! It's too good, Mr. C. {raising his finger at Harry). And mind, I'm to have no rival. You have no further charge of these little ones. You are to be my {proudly) eldesfc son, and one of the babies. {Curtain faUs with finger still up.) SCENE V. Handsome parlor of the new home. Mrs. Wilton making one or two ribbon boivs at the table. Mr. C. {pacing up and down the stage, rubbing his hands delightedly). I tell you, Mary, we were lucky to get this ail 'furnished at so short notice. Here it's been standing idle for four months. I believe it was just waiting for us. And to think they made me pay two hundred more for it on account of the children ! Ha, ha, ha! Really now, I never knew before, — I really didn't, — that the little rabbits were so much A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 25 below par. But just let 'em try to get 7nme (jyroudly) away, — let 'em try it that way, and they'll find 'em at rather a heavy premium : eh, Mary? Mrs. W. {snips off end of ribbon^ and throics down ivork). Yes, brother, we were fortunate in getting the house. And, Robert, you don't know it, but it was very quick work getting the children fitted out as you wished ; but I hope j^ou will find them to your liking. ]Mr. C. I trust so — I trust so. But, Mary my dear, {pompously) the nephews and nieces of Robert Chester ought to have every thing that is needful in the way of dress. {Rings for servant; comes over to his sister* s side.) And to think, Mary (pulls out his handkerchief)^ that my own sister should have been poor and homeless with all her little ones, and I — I — (blabbers) I rolling up a great bank account — boo-hoo — all for myself — for one cosseted, crusty, snarly, withered-up old bach. It's shocking, it is really, you know. But I'll be a good father to your children, Mary. Really, I will, Mary. I — (Knocks and maid enters. Wipes eyes hastily^ straightens ^ip majestically., and goes toicard tJie maid.) Harriet, you understand the children are to be here at seven. And mind you, (getting excited) seven doesn't mean quarter of seven nor quarter past seven — but just seven precisely and exactly. (Exit maid.) Mrs. W. Robert, if you wish to be a good father to the children — Mr. C. I know. I know. I go off like a fire- cracker. But (proudly) I shall stop it, — I shall stop it for the childi-en's sake. ( Very pompously.) If I'm 26 A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. to govern this house and these children, of course I must govern myself. That's it — that's it; and I shall do it, too. {Knock, cmd re-enters maid.) Maid. If you please, sir, is baby to be brought in with the other children ? Mr. C. {in a fury). Is baby to be brought in with the other children ! And what would you do with baby, pray, if he isn't brought in with the other chil- dren ? Tell me that, if you please. Would you throw him out of the window ? Would you — Mrs. W. {placing her hand on his arm). Robert dear — Mr. C. Yes, Mary my dear, there I go again. {To maid, vei-y politely.) Harriet, my love, you may bring baby in with the other children, certainly. And, my love, {very mysteriously) keep them in the nursery till seven, then bring them here. Prompt at seven, you understand, my love. {Exit maid, eying Mr. Ches- ter quizzically.) There, sister Mary, that's a good beginning, you'll own. You mustn't despair of me. You see, my heart is so bursting full of Christmas peace and love and good-will, that it — why, you know what I mean — it will break out in spite of me. Daisy {behind scenes). I won't stay in that old room. I'm going in that pretty room with mamma. Rex {same). No, you mustn't. Our new papa said we mustn't. Mrs. W. Robert dear, I think I'll go myself, and look after the children till seven o'clock. Harriet will never be able to control them. {Exit.) Mr. C. (rubbing his hands in delight). Our new A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 27 papa ! Now, really, that means me, you know. It does, really. Of course Harriet will not be able to control those children. They are bright children, those children of mine are. Nobody will be able to control them, — nobody except myself {with great importance)^ and I shall rule them solely by love ; solely by love, that's it. Ha, ha, ha ! Won't the fellows at the club die with envy when they see me at the head of this house and all these children ? Oh, but it will be sport to see them ! it will now, really. But {looking at his watch) they will be here in a few minutes. This won't do. I must get to work {picks up a Santa Claus costume lying on sofa). I made a monkey of myself once to be Santa Claus, but that was when I was young. Bah ! After all, I'm not so old now; no indeed, I'm a young man j^t. How does this thing go anyhow, I wonder? {Dresses as he talks.) Now, that is a gay ticket. I wonder if the little rabbits will know me. I rather guess ! You can't blind those young- sters very easily ! {Puts on wig.) They ivill be 'cute if they know me now. ( Turns round and round before the glass, and admires himself delightedly.) Ha! Won't their eyes shine, though ! {Puts a big bag over his back, and hangs a pair of skates, a trumpet, a tin horse, two dolls, and other toys over him.) There ! I'm a festive-looking Santa Claus, at all events. {Voices outside, "Here, wait for me, Rexie ! ") Here they come, bless 'em ! {Enter Daisy.) Daisy {peeps in, coming far enough to be well seen. At sight of Santa Claus, holds up both hands in amaze- ment, and exclaims) . Oh, my ! Oh ! {Pushes off the 28 A BACHELOE's CHRISTMAS. stage screaming very loudly.^ Harry, Harry! Rex! All of you ! Come quick ! It's Santa Claus ! Really aud truly Santa Claus, right here in our parlor ! Where did he go ? {Enter the children. They look all about expectantly.) Harry. Nonsense, Daisy, you little goosie ! you're fooling us. Rex. Pooh! Santa Claus never comes right out like that. Daisy. But I saw him ! I saw him alive ! Right here ! With my two eyes ! {Dancing around^ and hunting for Santa.) Dot. Course she did ! Daisy wouldn't tell a lie. I'U find him. All the Children {spying him). Oh, there he is! Oh, my ! It is Santa Claus, as true as you live ! {Clap their hands^ and dance up and doivn during these exclamations.) Santa {coming out and frisking around). Well, little folks, a merry Christmas to you all ! All. Merry Christmas ! Merry Christmas ! How did you get here? Oh, but isn't he jolly ! {They clap hands and dance around.) Daisy {going up to him). Are you the truly, truly Santa Claus? Honest? Harry. Of course he is. Rex. You can see that with one eye. All. Oh, my ! Isn't it fine ! {Clap hands, and dance around Santa.) Harry. See those skates ! Oh my eyes ! Rex. My buttons ! and that drum ! (Daisy and A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 29 Dotty ivhisper together, and point to the dolls. Enter ma^nma loith youngest child, if very small, in arms.) Children. O mamma! It's really and truly Santa Claus ! (Santa, who all this tirae has been frisking around, and shaking the presents teasingly at the children, begins to take them off. He holds up the skates.) Santa. Now, here's a fine pair of skates ! They are just the thmg for — for — let me see — for the baby. Children. The baby! (They laugh.) No, no- no mcZeecZ/ They'll just fit Harry. {In the scramble for the skates, Daisy or Dotty, if big enough, gets the skates, gives them to Harry, giving him at the same time a hug around the neck.) Santa. And these dolls ! {Eocks them, to and fro, singing "By-low-baby.") I do believe Rex here has his eye on these dolls ! {Laughter again.) Children (boisterously) . You funny, naughty Santa ! Rex. a boy have dolls ! Harry. You must give Daisy and Dotty the dolls. Dotty. Of course. (Santa gives dolls to the little girls.) Santa. And here's just the prettiest drum I could find in my toy-shop. Daisy and Dotty will want that too, I suppose. (Children, laughiyig boisterously, scramble for the drum, and hang it over Rex's neck. They pull the toys from Santa, he pretending to defend himself. One or two toys like a jumpiyig-jack, a ball, and perhaps a few handfuls of candy, Santa tosses slyly to the chil- dren in the audience. The children on the stage get 30 A bachelor's cheistmas. among the toys some bonbons; each snaps one, ayid puts one of the paper caps on. Rex laughingly puts one on baby, and Daisy on her mother. Daisy then steps off, and exclaims with a wag of her head.) There ! Santa. There, children ! Now, hasn't old Santa treated you handsomely ? {He holds up his finger for them to keep quiet, and pulls from his p)ocl:et a gold ivatch and chain. Goes to mamma, and fastens the chain around her neck very proudly and affectionately.) And see what we have for dear, dear mamma ! Children. Oh! (Admiringly.) Oh! You dear, dear old Santa Glaus ! Oh, you jolly old darling ! . Santa {takes baby in arms). And now, my dear, dear little folks, what is the very best of all the Christ- mas presents Santa Claus has brought you ? Children. Our new papa ! Our beautiful, splendid new papa ! Santa. And the very, very best Christmas gift he has brought to your new papa is a big, precious family to love and to care for. And so {coming forward in centre) God bless us all, and give us every year — Mrs. W. a merry Christmas and a bright New Year. Rex. And send us Santa loaded down with toys. Harry. And fill our hearts with merry Christmas joys. Daisy. And we will help to make the Christmas merry — Dotty. By being kind and loving, very, very, very. {Music strikes up. Santa puts baby on the floor in A bachelor's CHRISTMAS. 31 front at one of the sides, takes Mrs. Wilton as part- ner; the children pair^ Rex with Daisy and Harry with Dotty, and. dajice around the stage,) (Curtain,) iq"oTE. — After the curtain, Santa may go down into the audience, and distribute boxes of candy or bonbons to the children. It would be a good way, to have Santa Clans, when he is distributing the presents to the children in the play, toss to some gentleman in the audience boxes of candy or bonbons. They may be kept until now, and he can now distribute them. Santa may stay around in his costume as entertainer-in-general as long as is desirable. tou will find the Piece you are looking tor among 60 of tlie Choicest Selections in the u Reading Club and Handy Speaker, Edited by George M. Baker. PHce, cloth, 50 cents; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. P'ra Giacomo . . • -r^; Bob Cratcbit's Christmas-Dinner The First Snow-Fall . rbe Countess and the Serf . . Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man Losses Mad Luce . \ \ ' The Solemn Book-Agent • What the Old Man saia _ . Bone and Shicw and Bram . Pat and the Oysters Twilight ... The Singer •„•_.• Speech of the Hon Perve^^o the Acquisition of iJui^a Bunker Hill . . • ■ Two Births . . • • The Old Fogy Man Auction Mad . . • • The Wedding Fee ;r-bodr B^hv X lie »» <^v»vi»..^ Schneider's Tomatoes . The Wolves . • • • The Ballad of the Oystermai' The Deck-Hand and the Mul'^ A Lay of Real Life Riding Down . The Minute-men of 7o Uncle Reuben's Baptism • - How Persimmons took Cab oh der The Evils of Ignorance . • Scenes from the School of Reform Ambition . • • • The Victories of Peace For Love • • . • . * The Flower-Mission, junior The Sons of New England . The Jonesville Singin' Quire The Last Tilt The Burial of the Dane . • Aupeal in Behalf of American Liberty The Church of the Best Licks . • ^ ^ The Roman Soldier. Destruction culaneum Temperance . • -^ " , ' Roast Pig. A Bit of Lamb . Sirailia Siraihbus ._ Two Loves and a Life . . The Recantation of Galileo . Mosqiiiloes • • ' ™, Ibe Law of Kindness; or, The man's Railway Signal . Ode . , . . • |£r. Stiver's Horse Robert Buchanan. Dickens. James Russell Lowell, J. Sheridan Knowles. 3rark Twain. Francis Browne. All the Year Round. Detroit Free Press. Alice Robhinx- John Boyle O'Reilly. Spanish Gypsy. Alice Williams. George IT. Calvert. Charles J, Sprague. Her- Old R 31. Streeter. Charles F. Adams. J. T. Trorcbridge. Oliver Wendell Holmek Tom Hood. Nora Perry. ^ , George William CurtU Vick^^burg Herald. St. Nicholas. Horace Jfann. Thomas Morton, ffniry Clay. Charles Sumner. Earl Marble. If on. George B. Loring. My Opmions and Betsey 3«Q&m Ilepri- .^. Hirst. IlenT-y Howard BrownelL Story^ Fdwaf-l Sggleston. 1 Atherstone. Wendell FHi'ipa. Charles Lan^b. ', William Su"^.-r. , Francis E. .tale^gh. . K.K. Wo- j Elihu Burritt. George Sennott. The Danbweu J^evah Kd If you are looking for Something New, you will find it amon§ 50 of the Choicest Selections in the M Reading Club and Handy Speaker Edited by George M. BaKEB. Price, cloth, SO cents; paper, IS cents. CONTENTS. The Tramp « • • Joan of Arc . . . Pecoration ... Minot's Ledge . Scene from " The Hunchback Widder Green's Last Words I'he Cane-Bottomed Chair The House-Top Saint . Tom ..... The Song of the Dying . My Neighbo»:'e Baby " The I'aper Don't Say " The Post-Boy . What is a Minority? . Robert of Lincoln , • Duddy Worthless , Zenobia'3 Defence . . William Tell . Mary Maloney's Philosophy Custer's Last Charge Mother's Fool . The Little Black Eyed Rebel " The Palace o' the King " Grandfather *• Business " in Mississippi The Indian's Claim . The Battle-Flag of Sigurd The Way Astors are Made Mr. Watkins celebrates . The Palmetto and the Pine Pip's Fight Cuddle Doon . . The Hot Roasted Chestnut St. John the Aged . TheBellof Atri Ml . O'Hoolahan's Mistake The Little Hero The Village Sewing-Society He Givetli' His Belovf d Sleep The Dignity of Labor A Little Shoe . « The Penny Ye Meant to Gi' &. Question The Cobbler's Secret , The Lost Cats . . , The Pride of Battery B . Leodle Yaweob Strauss , Two Portraits . Elder Sniflies' Courtship Goin' Somewliere , lAE & SHEPARD, Pubiijhe.s, Boston ¥•• will riitd nothing bu« ram Q*mt in th« ^ C>«>«« t«l*«tiM« l« «!• Reading-Club and 3andy Speaker. M Edited by Gkorgk M. Baker. Price, cloth, 50 ctnts •• paper, IS cents. CONTENTS. K Royal Princegg . Christina O, Ros$4iH. A Reminiscence H. B. Hooker, D.h The Lest Hymn Marianne Farmns^^'^ The Fool's Prayer Atlantic. The Deid Student Wili Carleton, Greatest Walk on Becord Drawing Water This Side and That George MacdomO^ Civil War Anonymous. A Modem Sermon ...«.••• That Calf . . . . , Phoebe Gary. The New Dixie O. L. C. The National Game Unf ]e Melliok Dineg with hig Magter . . . J, Jt. Eggletton. M^d's Misery San Benito Helen M. Oilberi How Randa went over the River . . . . C. C. Cojin. The Ladies Mark Twain. Two Fishers Harper's Wrektu. Left Alone at Eighty " Dashing Rod," Trooper S. Conant Fosiar, Orient Yourself . Horace Mann. Rhymes at Random The Carpenter's Wooinsf, and the Seqael . . Tawc<^ Strauss, A Humorous Dare-Devfl Bulwer. Hohenlinden Campbell. St. Leon's Toast The Patriot Spy F. M. Finch. How Neighbor Wilkins got Religion . . . James Berry Bensti Jim Wolfe and the Cat* Mark Tioain. Pledge to the Dead William Winter, , A London Bee Story Quiz. A College Widow Acta Columbiana. " He Giveth His Beloved Sleep " . , . .J. C. HnntingtoH. Hannibal at the Altar Elijah Kellogg. Creeds of the Bells J.W.Bungay. The Pomo logical Society Ave Maria Comhill Magcunme The Singer's Almg Family Portraits School for ScandeU, The Irish Boy and the Priegt The Retort A Free Seat Paddle Your Own Canoe All 's Well that Ends Well Jimmv Butler and the Owl Ammvmous. A Mo^ie^n Heroine ....... KUzabeth Cm»*«f» DowT Hill with the Brakes Off Q, H Jessop. On the Chaimel Boat O. L. C. The Pin 9o^ by all hooksella^s and newsdealers, and sent hy mail, posi^fsid, 9SL receipt of price, LEE * SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. You will find both Wit and Sentiment in the 50 Choice Selections in the Reading-Club and Handy Speaker. Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, 50 cents ; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. Nt. Vir: Strone: Tennyson. Bulicer. Afichnel Lynch. Francis S. Osgood. Lucy Wade Herrick. H.H. The Defence of Lucknow . Paul Clifford's Defence . . The Outlaw's Yarn . Labor is Worship • • , • . The Legend of the White Hand Two Dreams . . . • People will Laugh . " Christianos ad Leones ! " . Ballad of the Bell-Tower . A Sermon for the Sisters Mrs Brown at the Play Dutcii Security .... From One Stand-point . The Captive .... The Peril of the iiines . Aunt Phillis's Guest Annie's Ticket . . . • Along the Line .... The Divorce Feast . The Indian Warrior's Defence The Farmer and ttie Barrister Yankee Courtship . London Zoological Gardens Apples — A Comedy Old Grimes Daisy's Faith .... Father William .... Parody on " Father William " The Grave of the Greyhound A New Version of tlie Parable of the Song of the Mystic . The Fast Mad . . De 'Sperience ob de Reb'rend Quacko The Patter of tiie Shingle The Girl of the Crisis . The Rich Man and the Poor Mao A Colored Debating Society Shiftless Neighbor Ball Lauty Leary The Baron's Last Banquet The Last of the Sarpints The Dilemma . . A Brick .... An Evangel » A Thirsty Boy . Masked Batteries The Stcry of the Tiles The City Man and Setting Hen Miss Edith's Modest Request The Man with a Bear ^old by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, receipt of jirice. LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. Francis A. Dnrirage. Margaret J. Preston, Irvin Jizissell. Arthur Sketchley. M. P. Bvtfs. Henry Hdllips, Jr. Win. C. Gannett. Iricin Russell. Horace Smith. BlacJctoood's Magazine. A. G. Green. Joanna H. Matheics. It. Sotithey. Adventures in Wonderland Spencer. Father Ryan. John H. Yates. Walter Smith. Khemnitzer. Mrs. Annie Preston. Samuel Loiter. A. G. Green. O. W. Holmes. Burlington Hatvkeye, "■ Vanity Verses.'' Golden Age. Bret Harte. The Freshest, Brightest, and Best, are the 50 Choicest Selections in the Reading Club and Handy Speaker Edited by George M. Baker Price, cloth, SO cents; papr,, 15 cents. CONTENTS. The Ballad of Ronald Clare . The Scotchman at the Play . The Dead Dull A Chari^e with Prince Rupert An Irish Wake The Honest Deacon Tact and 'i'alent The Two G lasses . Whistling in Heaven Koble Revensie Dot Baby off Mine. (By permission) The Amateur Spelling-Match Why Biddy and Pat got Married Art-Matters in Indiana , Miss Edith helps Things along The Flood and the Ark . Not Dead, but Risen Ballad of a Baker . Five Uncle Remus' Revival Hymji A Mysterious Disappearance An Indignation-Meeting. Something Spilt From tlie Sublime to the Ridicul " 'tis but a Sti-'p " Scene from " The Marble Heart" The Seven Ages A Watch that " wanted cleaning, (By permission) Tired Mothers ...» Good-by *« One of the Boys " The Bridge .... A Rhine Legend . . . The Little Shoes did it . Burdock's Goat Faithful Little Peter Blue and Gray Mollie, or Sadie? . • • Butterwick's Weakness . Between the Lines . Somebody's Mother . . The Ballad of Constance Failed The Canteen .... A Blessing on the Dance \n Exciting Contest The Last Redoubt . *' If We Knew "... Bcene from " London Assurance "The Kaiser's Feast . Sideways . . • > • Thomea S. Collier. '* J/aii-sie Wimc/t." 3far(/aret Vandegrift* T. W. Higginsoiu London Atlas, Harper's Magazine, Charles Follen Aiams, Earl Marble. R. II. Stoddard. Bret Harte. Charles Dicken. ,^1meici ^pen Charles Selby. Shakspeare. J. T. Fields. Frank Foxcroft. E. W. Longjellon, Curtis Guild. William Winter. C. G. Halpine (MiUf CBtUiu Irwin Russell. Alfred Austin. BeucicauU. !lo.6 The Best Yet. 50 Rare Selections. Eeading Club and Handy Speaker. Edited by George M. Baker. Pi'ice, cloth., 60 cents ; paper, 16 cents. CONTENTS. Count Eberhard's Last Foray Thos. S. Collier. Tammy's Prize Deaf and Dumb Anna F. Burnham. The Changed Cross Virginius to the Roman Army Elijah Kellogg. The Fountain of Youth Ilezekiah Butterworth. They Met Clerical Wit Greeley's Ride Mark Twain. Der Shoemaker's Poy The Sergeant of the Fiftieth The Fan Drill Spectator. Warning to Woman The Cavalry Charge F. A. Ihirivage. Widow Stebbins on Homceopathy Charles F. Adams. The Fight at Lookout li. L. Can/, Jun. The Well-Digger John G. Saxe. Behind Time f Freeman Hunt. A Miracle Charles H. Webber* Weaving the Web The Great Future . George F. Hoar. A Christmas Carol "Them Yankee Blankits" Samuel W. Small. Jim Lane's Last Message Sherman D. liichardsoik One Touch of Nature A Disturbance in Church 3fax Adeler. The Palmer's Vision J. G. Holland. A " Sweeter Revenge" The Farmer's Story David Hill. Faddy O'Rafther . . . . „ Samuel Lover. The Fireman's Prayer Russell //. Comoell. Down with the Heathen Chinee! U^ew- York Sun. John Chinaman's Protest M. F. D. The Sweet Singer of Michigan Ten Years After Kate Putnam Osgood, Putty and Varnish Josh Billings. Nationality Rufus Choate. Tacking Ship off Shore Walter Mitchel. Immortality Phillips Brooks. Mr. Coville" Proves Mathematics J. 31. Bailey. Blind Ned Irwin Russell. The Benediction Franqois Coppee. " Conquered at Last" 3Iaria L. Eve. The Ship-Boy's Letter An Irish Love-Letter George 31. Baker, Reserved Power Talk about Shooting The King's Kiss li'ora Perry. Joe's Bespeak A Disturbed Parent Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, vn receipt of price. LEE & SHEPARD^ Publishers. Bostoru Acknowledged fhe Best. 50 of the Choicest Selections in the Reading-Club and Handy Speaker. Edited by George M. Baker. Pr^e, cloth, 50 cents ; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. The Spinnmsf-whcel . The Hero- Woman . The Son<; of the North No Color Line in Heaven Ginj»-erbread A Night Watch . . The Loves of Lucinda The Widow of Nain . The Tomato . Lookout Mountain, 1803— Beutelsbach The Little Girl's Song " Papa says so, too " The Poetry of Iron . Hannah .... An Old Man's Dreams Don Squixet's Ghost The Kiiii?'s Hell . . The Tramp of Shiloh Johnny on Snakes . Antony to Cleopatra Cleopatra Dying Cheek .... The Right must Win Make the Best of Every The Datrger Scene from " The Wife The Calif . . The Man wich didn't driu Mice at Play Jan Steener's Ride . Setting a H en The Marked Grave . A Very Naughty Little Girl's Views of The Dandy Fifth The Holly" Branch Antoinette . Claribel's Prayer The Marriage" of Santa Claus A Similar Case . Selling the Farm "He and She" . The Legend of the Organ-builder The One-Legged Goose The Owl Critic . Time .... The Sleep . . . She would be a Mason The Legend of Saint Barbara Reviving de Sinners . Awfully Lovely Philosophy Life in De ith k Wotter B. F. Taylor. George Ltppard. Lizzie Doten. San Francisco Argonattt. Mark Melville. N. P. Willis. Charles F. Adams. Geo. L. Catlin. Sydney Dobell. Jennie T. Hazen Lewis, Burlington Hawkeye, Eliza M. Sherman. Harry Bolingbroke. Eben E Hexford. Joaquin Miller. Gen. Wm. H Lytle. Thorn. S. Collier. Phillips Thompson. Frederic William Faber^ J. Sheridan Knowles, Ida T. Thurston. Neil Forrest. John W. Chadivick, Lillie E. Barr. Frank H. Gassaway. " lirnmnie.^'' Francis A. Dnrivage. Lynde Palmer. Beth Day. Edwin Arnold. Jidia C. R. Dorr. James T. Fields. Eohertson. Mrs. E. B. Broioning, James C. Laughton. Mary A. P. Stansbury. B. P. Shillaber. and sent by mail, post-paid^ on Life Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers receipt of jtrice. LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers^ Boston. Acknowledged the Best. 50 of the Choicest Selections in the Fid Reading-Club and Handy Speaker* Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, 50 cents ; paper, 15 ^ents, CONTENTS. The Story of a Stowaway A Purpose . . • • • Building and Being . * • The Round of Life . . The Clown's Baby . . Our Baby . . . . • Sooner or Later . . . • Autumn Thoughts . The Cruise of the Monitor . No Yearning for the B.3autifal Ravenswood's Oath . . . The Widow to her Son . The Banker and the Cobbler . Rather Embarrassing Saving Mother .... The Sharpshooter's Miss . . Brudder Johnson on 'Lectilcity Utiion of Blue and Gray . The Jackdaw of Rheims . BeathoftlieOid Wife . . Squire Houston's Marriage Ceremony The Baffled Book Agent . . Scene from Mary Stuart . A Christmas Elegy ... Conversion of Colonel Quagg . The Confession .... A Court Lady .... Tickled all Oafer .... A Penitent Nebiichadnezzab ... Death of Steerforth . . . The Serenade .... The " Ole Marster's" Christmas How the Colonel took it . Robert Eramett's Last Speech The Parting Lovers . This Means You, Girls . Ramon Tlie Vay Rube Hoffenstein Sells Wild Weather Outside . . Young Grimes .... Autumn Leaves. A Comedietta Hark! Intensely Utter .... Charge of the Heavy Brigade The Chain of Gold . . . Garheld No Time like the Old Time . Caxcassonne The Mate of the Betsey Jane Punch. From " Geraldine/* Chambers^ Journal. Margaret Vandegrijt. Harriet Prescott Spoffortti Bill Nye. George M. Baker, Max Adeler. A. Wallace Thaxter. The Dnhlin Freeman, Lafontoine. Frank H. Gassaway, Paul H. Hayne, Barham, Schiller. George Augustus SdUu Lover. E. Barrett Browning, Margaret Eytinge, Erwin Russel, Dickens. Atlanta Constitution, Walter Thornbury, Mary E. Day, Peck^s Sun. Bret Harte. Margaret E. SangstOtu B. P. Shillaber. Rose Terry Cooke. Albany Chronicle, Tennyson. J. G. Blaine. Anonymous. Gustave Nadaud. Anonymous. Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, post-paid^ receipt of price. LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. Eiiii-CiiJHaiF Spate Edited by George M. Baker. Price, cloth, 50 cents ; paper, 15 cents, CONTEXTS. The Catatact of Lodore Robert Souther/. A Glimpse of Death From A Tight SqueezSo Reflections on the Needle Cor mac (fLeary, The Red O'Neil Thomas S. Collier. Vii-i:inny! S.N.Cook. Convent Rol)hin(i: Robert Bucharian. For Life and Death , . Mairnificent Poverty Victor TTufjo. O'thello Harper's M igazine. Washee, Washce Joaquin Miller. Last Upon the Roll Hugh M. McDermott, A Second Review of the Grand Army . Brk Harte. Going Towards Snndown Hattie E. Buell. ** Treadwater Jim" ** Old Si," in JocksonviUe Timex Yawcoh Stranss C F. Adnms. Leedle Yawcob Strauss — What He Says Arthur Dakin. The Closing Scene T. Buchanan Read. Drifted Out to Sea Rose H'trtwick Thorpe, The GUI Man Goes to Town J. Q. Swinnerton. Suckers on d.e Corn The Crutch in the Corner . . . . , . John Mcintosh. The Bivouac of the Dead tr Hira. " Nearer Home'' . Phrehe Cary. The Snow Storm R. \V. Emerson. The Unforirotten Foe Epes Sargent. Tlic Charge at Valley Maloy .... The Countersign was " Mary " . . . . Margaret Ei/tinge. Pat's Bondsman Lilian A. Moulton. What Saved t'le Uniun Oen. Grant. Wreck of the White Ship • . . . , Charles Dickens. *' iSIeh!)e " Joe's True Feesh Story . . Jtiig iii^n Bolton Euqene J. Hall. The Child's Eveninsr Prayer Mary A. Denison. Abraham Lincoln and the Fooi' Woman "Picciohi" " Fall In" . Mfiry Clrmmer. Mysterious Kappings ^ , B P. Shillaber. Kelly's Feiry . . . c Benjamin F. Taylor, Paddy's Metamorphosis Moore. Mr Murphv Explains His Son's Conduct Variegated Dogs Peck's Sun. No Precedent The Wonderful Tar-Baby Story . . . Harris The Captain's Tale ...... ^ From A Summer in the Azores, Speculation . . o . A Clear Baruaic . . .... Garibaldi and His Corat^snions .... Thomas RusselL Pericles to the People Kellogg, Roland Gray The Silver Cup THE GLOBE DRAMA. Price, 25 Cents each. 1. COUPON BONDS. A Drama in Four Acts. By J. 1. Tkowbridge. Dramatised from the story of that name. Seven male, three female ,naractt'rs. Three scenes. Modern costumes. Easily produced. 2. UNDE B A VEIL. A Comedietta in One Act. By Sir Randall Roberts, Bart. Two male, three female characters. Scene, interior. Double room. Time in representation, thirty minutes. 3. CliASS DAY. A Farce in One Act. By Dr. Francis A. Harris. Four male, three female characters. Scene, interior. Played at Harvard wiib great success. 4. BETTER THAN GOLD. A Drama in Four Acts. By George M. Baker. Five male, lour female characters. One interior; same for the four acts. 6. MRS. WALTHROP'S BACHELORS. A Comedy in Three Acts. Translated and adapted from the German of Benedix. By George M. Baker and Willaku Small. (" Our Bachelors " and " Mrs. Walthrop's Boarders " were translated from the same.) 6. OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. A Comedy in Four Acts. Dramatised from the novel by Charles Dickens. By Harriet K. Shattuck. Four male, three female characters. 7. REBECCA'S TRIUMPH. A Drama in Three Acts. By George M. Baker. (For female characters only.) Sixteen characters. Scenes are : Act 1, kitchen. Act 2, woods. Act 3, parlor. Written at the request of the " D.O.C, Cooking Club," of Chicago, -who took "Among the Breakers " as a model. 8. APPLES. Comedy in One Act from Blackwood's Magazine. One male, two female characters. 9. BABIE. Comedy in Three Acts. Translated from the French of Emile de Najac and Alfred Hennquin, .y F. E. Chase. Six male, five female characters. 10. A PERSONAL MATTER. Comedy in One Act. By F. E. Chase. Two male, and two female characters. 11. COMRADES. A Drama in Three Acts. By George M. Baker. Four male, three female characters. Scene, interior. Costumes raodern. Always successful. 13. SNOW-BOUND. A Musical and Dramatic Entertainment. Jly George M. Baker. For three male and one female characters; requires some scenery, hut can be easily produced. Introduces tongs, recitations, and an original Burlesque, "Alonzo the Brave and the Fair Imogene." Time, two hours. 13. BON-BONS. A Musical and Dramatic Entertainment. By George M. Baker. For four performers: three male, one female. Requires little scenery; introduces songs, recitations, and an original Burlesque, "The Paint King." Time in representation, two hours. 14. PAST REDEMPTION. A New Temperance Drama in Four Acts. By George M. Baker. Nine male, and four female characters, and super- numeraries. Scenery : three interiors, one exterior. 15. NEVADA ; or, The Lost Mine. Drama, in Three Acts. By George M. Baker. Eight male, three female characters. Scenery, exterior and in- terior of a Miner's Cabin in Nevada. Time, about two hours. 16. POISON. A Farce, as acted by the Hasty Pudding Club of Harvard College with great success. Four male, three female characters. Time, thirty minutes. 17. THE COOL COLLEGIANS. Comedy in Two Acts, by Miles Medic; three male and four female characters. GEORGE M. BAKEB, 47 Franklin Street. BY GEORGE M. B Author of ** Amateur Dramas ;' " The Mimic Staged' " Room Stage" '' Handy Dramas" " The Exhibition L Titles in this Type are New P Titles in this Type are Tempe LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 017 401 678 1 4 DEAHAS. In Four Acts. Better Than Gold. char. 7 male, 4 I'emale In Three Acts. Our Folks. 6 male, 5 female char. . . Tlie Flower of the Family. 5 male, 3 female char Enlisted for the War. 7 male, 3 fe- male characters My Brother's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- male char The Little Brown Jug, 5 male, 3 female char In Two Acts. Above the Clouds. 7 male, 3 female characters Oxkf> lluiidred Years Ago. 7 male, 4 female char Among the Breakers. 6 male, 4 female char teSEAD ON THE Waters. 5 male, 3 female char. JDowN BY THK Sea. 6 male, 3 female char. Once on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. The Last Loaf. 5 male, 3 female char. In One Act. Stand by the Flag. 5 male char. <. . The Tempter. 3 male, i female char. COMEDIES AND FAECES. A Mysterious I>isappearance. /, male, 3 female char Paddle Tour Ovrii Canoe. 7 male, 3 female char * A Drop too Much. 4 male, 2 female characters A. Little More Cider. 5 male, 3 fe- male char A Thorn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 female char. Never Say Die. 3 male, 3 female char. Seeing the Elephant. 6 male, 3 female char The Boston Dip. 4 male, 3 f-^male char. The Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- male char Thirty Minutes for Refrkshhents. 4 male, 3 female char We're all Teetotalers, 4 male, 2 fe- male char ^ Male Characters Only, A Close Shave. 6 char A Public Benefactor. 6 char. .... A ^EA of Tk<(VBLes. 8 chair. ..... COMEDIES, &c., continued. Male Characters Only. A Tender Attachment. 7 char. . , , Coals of Fjrf.. 6 char, o Freedom of the Press. 8 char. . . . Shall Our Moth$;rs Vote ? u char. Gentlemen of the Jury, 12 char. »> . Humors of the Strike. 8 char. . . My Uncle the Captain. 6 char. . . New Brooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. . The Great Elixir. 9 char The Hypochondriac. 5 char. .... The Man zvith the Demijohn, 4 char. . . The Runaways 4 char. . . , . . The Thief of Time. 6 char. . . . Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. « . ■, Female Characters Only. A Love of a Bonnet. 5 cha/. . 1$ A Precious 1'ickle. 6 char 15 No Cure no Pay. 7 char. 15 The Champion of Her Sex. 8 char. . 15 The Greatest Plague in Life. 8 cha. 15 The Grecian Bend. 7 char. .... 15 The Red Chignon. 6 char. .... 15 Using the Weed. 7 char. 15 ALLEGOHIES. Ai-ranged for Music and Tableaux. Lightheakt's Pilgrimage. 8 female char 15 The Revolt of the Bees. 9 female char 15 The Sculptor's Triumph, i male, 4 fe- male char 15 The Tournament of Idylcourt. 10 female char 15 Thf ■'Var of the Roses. 8 female char. 15 MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. An Original Idea, i male, 1 female char, XS Bonbons ; or, the Paint King. 6 male, I female char 25 Capuletta ; or, Romeo and Juliet Restored. 3 male, 1 female char. . 15 Santa Claus' Frolics if, Snow-bound : or, Alonzo the Brave AND THE Fair Imogene. 3 male, z female char . 25 The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe. . . 15 The Pedler of Vbry Nice. 7 male char • • •. • ^S The Seven Ages, h Tableau Entertam- ment. Numerous iwale and female char. 15 Too Late for the Train. 2 male char, x^ Thb Visions of Freedom. 11 female dtwjr, ... «S Geo. M. Baker & Co., 47 Franklin St., Boston.