LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 
 
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 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 
 

 M. F. BENTLEY. 
 
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 Herald Print; Potsdam, N. Y. 
 

 Kiitort'd ;icc(»r(lii)«;- to Ad of ('onorcss, 
 in the yvixr 1^5. })y M. V. JJextley, in 
 the <inic(' of tlic Librarian of Tongress. 
 at Washiiiutoii, All IJiyiit^ liesorvcd. 
 
J 
 
 f 
 
 <t» 
 
 POEM 
 

 .JT '• 
 
PFIEFACE 
 
 To my fellow Fanners and the Pul)]ie in general I dedicate this 
 "Little Work, "with a hope, though preliaps born of weakness, that it 
 merits a share of public patronage. And as T take this tiny "Craft" 
 from the work shop of my mind, as I loosen the moorings that have 
 held it at' 'Home," and push it out as it were upon the sea of minds, 
 unfurl its sails to be caught by the l)reezcs of pul)licJapprobation ; lam 
 well aware that the same canvas thus spivad may be met with the ad- 
 verse winds of public criticism. But whether it shall make a success- 
 ful voyage, be wafted by propitious breezes, oi- whether it will be 
 swamped among the angry billows of public condemnations, now re- 
 mains with itself. As with the material ship, it remains to its con- 
 sti-uction, the Captain and his Crew. The Sailors on board this 
 "Craft" are all ', Jolly Country Lids" their duties their pleasures, 
 their wit, are of the Farmer kind. The Pictures hung in its State 
 Rooms and along its Dining Hall are Home and Country scenes. Its 
 Cabin is furnished and decorated in a rustic manner. On the center 
 table lays "God's Word" untrammeled by any Sect, which I trust is 
 the Chart by which She sails, aufl thus I "Launch Her" upon the 
 Groat Ocean of Human Minds, asking the kind forbearance of an 
 indulgent public 
 
 M. F. B. 
 
ARGUMENT. 
 
 The scene of this Poem may be supposed to have 
 happened on any New England Farm, in the month 
 of .Tnly, and in Haying Time. The time occupied is 
 one day of twenty-four hours, commencing with the 
 setting of the sun in the evening, and ending with 
 the going down of the same the followinc^ nis^ht. 
 
BAD DAY ON THE FAKM. 
 
 It was in July and haying time 
 
 Just at the close of day, 
 
 I bad fed tlie pigs and done the chores 
 
 And tnrned the cows away; 
 
 I says to wife, "Tomorrow morn 
 
 At i)reciselv four by the clock, 
 
 I mnst make a break and not be late 
 
 Fori have lots of hay in the cock." 
 
 I went to bed and liowl dreamed 
 I dreamed in ryhme and prose, - 
 I scarcely got any rest at all 
 For fear I would over doze; 
 It was the .very longest night ; 
 Would morning never come? 
 I laid on one side and said, "0, Dear!" 
 On tbe other and said, "I Vum!" 
 
 The alarm went off and up I sprung 
 All in the twinkle of an eye; 
 Put on my pants, my boo's, my hat, 
 Went out and viewed the sky; 
 I whistled for my sheplierd dog 
 But at my caUhe did not come, 
 So for the cows I scampered off 
 On a dog ti'ot, — a fanner's run. 
 
10 
 
 I found them all within the lot, 
 But scattered they were all over, 
 And bent on feeding to the last 
 As if they were in clover. 
 1 ran around tlie whole outside 
 Like the Cow boA's on the plains, 
 But ere I had started one a rod 
 She went to feeding again. 
 
 how I hollered! how I yelled! 
 Until my throat was sore, 
 
 1 thought of every-thing that's had 
 (Forgive me if I swore.) 
 
 And when I had them in the barn 
 And all securely tied, 
 I found that one was missing still 
 So off for her I hied. 
 
 And at the very farthest end 
 
 bless her peaceful soul, 
 
 A restino; in the fullest content 
 
 She lay behind a knoll. 
 
 "Get up Old Brin! you lazy scamp! 
 
 1 know^ you are somcAvhat lame, 
 But you must hustle to the barn 
 For I see it looks like rain." 
 
 Now when them cows they all were milked 
 And we our breakfast had ate, 
 I saw by glancing at the clock 
 That we were two hours late. 
 
11 
 
 I said to Dan, my right hand man, 
 "Now catch them horses quick, 
 I saw them when I got tlie cows, 
 They are down there h}^ the creek." 
 
 
 
 " Get ii}> old Brill, you lazy scamp." 
 
 Now Dan spoke up and tliiis he said; 
 "I know I should have told, 
 I hroke the wagon tongue last night 
 But was afraid that you would scold. 
 "I Avill send ri^-ht over to the Deacon's 
 And get his wagon if I can, 
 lie's got two, he will lend us one; 
 For he is a very clever man." 
 
 Back came Dan without the nags, 
 His face was looking tragic. 
 "They are not there I do declare 
 It heats the furies maoric." 
 
12 
 
 Cries I, "It does beat Father Time 
 It beats all places hot, 
 Pox take their jumping hides! 
 They are in the Deacon's lot." 
 
 We finally got them jumping nags, 
 We borrowed the wagon too, 
 Our Ilay-rack would not tit it, 
 But then we made it do, 
 Already we were, and about to start, 
 When up came neighbor Fjy, 
 And Oh! his anger it was hot. 
 And his wrath was boiling high. 
 
 "/5 that your dogV he yelled in tones 
 That caused my soul to wonder, 
 ''The Miserf'ble Whelp! the WhmJfif/ Cut 
 Oh Lightiiinri! Biixeii^! Thiwifn!'' 
 '^Yes that's my dog my neighbor dear, 
 Now what have you to say? 
 At least the tax upon that dog 
 For years I have had to pay. 
 
 *^Yes, that's the color, black and white, 
 Yes, that's the dog as sure as death, 
 There is no mistake, I have it right, 
 He soon will die for want of breath." 
 "Now neighbor Fry ain't you a man?. 
 Don't vent your spite upon that dog 
 For if you do, I swear to you, 
 "Y^ou'll lay beside him like a log." 
 
 . r 
 
13 
 
 ^^Ile has cliased my sheep, and tore their \viH>i 
 Tlie iainl)sare foi' their mother crying, 
 But ahxs for them, and alas for her, 
 She is somewhere dead or dying 
 And I will kill that dog upon the sjiot. 
 Or I will some future day, 
 Unless you settle up this hash 
 And the damage quickly pay." 
 
 "Now if that dog your sheep has chased 
 
 I will tell vou how to manatee. 
 
 When you have well made out your case, 
 
 Why then I'll pay the damage. 
 
 Stop swearing here till the air is blue 
 
 With oaths that nuike me quiver, 
 
 Take my advice and hie you home. 
 
 Take something for 3'our Un i\. 
 
 Drive on the team and let them zip, 
 We can wait for no more s[)nttering," 
 And as we iiew, the wind it hlew 
 The echo of his muttering. 
 The wind it blew a perfect gale 
 From the south it came direct, 
 
 You could scarcely land a forkful 1 
 Without its being wrecked. 
 
 A spiteful gust it took my hat 
 T thought I would have to yield, 
 When next I saw that hat of mine 
 It was clear across the field. 
 
u 
 
 It needed a School House fall of boys 
 To hold that hay in place, 
 It needed the arm of Hercules 
 With Sampson's for a l)race. 
 
 We finally got what we called a load 
 
 But what a horrid thing, 
 
 It looked like a March Day on a spree 
 
 The wildest day in Spring. 
 
 Would we ever land it in the barn? 
 
 Was no question for a jury, 
 
 But whether we had strength enough 
 
 To war against this fury. 
 
 For it hung all over on one side, 
 
 Like a wasp's nest on a tree, 
 
 And looked hke a Hedgehog just returned 
 
 From a Hedgehog bum or spree. 
 
 Now Han I'll carefully drive the team. 
 
 You boost from the leeward side, 
 
 And we will do our level best 
 
 To homeward make it ride. 
 
 Slowly we moved and careful too, 
 I had the best of a team. 
 In the wind there was a gentle lull 
 There was hope for us it seemed. 
 When all at once came a sudden jog, 
 And then a tremendous slide, 
 And that hay it lay upon the ground 
 .\nd I lay by its side. 
 
15 
 
 a- 
 
 5: 
 
 P 
 
 O 
 CD 
 
 oq 
 
 o 
 
 SO 
 
 £3 
 
 
 1 picked me up, I stared around. 
 
 But I saw no stalwart Dan, 
 
 Nor was he anywhere to be found 
 
 Around all that count raband. 
 
 I heard a low and moaning sound. 
 
 It came from near my feet, 
 
 And when I had my Dan dqg out 
 
 He was as white as a sheet 
 
16 
 
 Just tlien my Wile came running out 
 
 Came running down the lane, 
 
 Cries she: "Tlie c-ows they have all got out 
 
 They are trani; ing down the grain. 
 
 The wind has blown the fence all down 
 
 It is flat, as griddle cakes. 
 
 There is nothing to hinder their getting out" 
 
 Cries I, "Confound their Pates!" 
 
 '^Dan, to the hain you take the team 
 
 And we them cows will chase" 
 
 Dan was muttering Nouns and Adjectives 
 
 All in the Ohjective Case. 
 
 The Adjectives we I'e Proper 
 
 If used in a proper ^qw^q, 
 
 l>ut the way tliat J)an cond)ined them 
 
 Tlieieaie some who'd tids:e offence. 
 
 T.ast Winter I rea<l a Pa})er 
 
 rt was of a modern farming tone, 
 
 It advised tlie freer use of hrains 
 
 To sax'e oui* nniscle and hone. 
 
 Tt told of a new horn Oat 
 
 As yet, hut little known to fame 
 
 It told of its egregious weight 
 
 And the nrodiii-ions vield of the same. 
 
 It ffave the name of a '4\artv" 
 WIjo resided in a distant State, 
 Tliat they invited correspondence 
 And for "orders" they did "wait." 
 
17 
 
 It told the price we would liave to pay 
 By the bushel it was a V, 
 And though at first it might seem large 
 That ill the end we'd "see." 
 
 Theie would he money in the '^project" 
 
 It would increase a thousand fold, 
 
 That "Nothino; ventured, nothinij: u-ained" 
 
 Was an adage true^ if old, 
 
 And Avhen the "neighbors" saw tliem "Oats" 
 
 And how stout tliat they did grow 
 
 They would Avant them all for seed next "Spring'' 
 
 They would "Buy tliem in the bknv." 
 
 The argument was convincing 
 
 To me I ch) confess, 
 
 I wrote: "You may send to me a busliel 
 
 You may send it by 'Express' 
 
 I do not know your Com[)any 
 
 Nor neither (h) you know me, 
 
 And for mutual good and suiety 
 
 You may mark it C. O. D." 
 
 Now when that l^>ill I came to pay 
 
 You may bet I was perplexed, 
 
 P\)r instead of little over V 
 
 It took most all an X. 
 
 I took my Chemistry from the shelf 
 
 And said, "Good Bye, to aches and pains 
 
 Let others use their muscle and born^ 
 
 But I will use my brains." 
 
18 
 
 X 
 
 T found tliei'eiii tliat our Kartli was made 
 
 Of many a Latin word, 
 
 That when the soil was minus one 
 
 To ti'y a ('r()[) it was absurd. 
 
 I found tliat tlie soil that I did till 
 
 Ma!ii[»ulated, handled, worked, 
 
 Was composed of niany Chemicals 
 
 I always 'sposed 'twas "dii't." 
 
19 
 
 And if the Lord who made oiii' Earth 
 T ad left some part undone, 
 Been partial to some certain spot 
 And 8li<i,'hted some other one, 
 It hecame my duty as a man 
 Of a niodei'ning farmini^^ tone, 
 T()SU[)ply tliat part with my own liand 
 With Guano and Dust of Bone. 
 
 I learned that the stuff that adhered to my Itoots 
 And which at home I tracked u[)on the lioor, 
 And Avhich My Wife had said; " \V<(s im/d'^ 
 I found was something more, 
 That if exposed to heat and lain 
 And the action of the frost 
 And the sn[tplying. of some "certain part" 
 That had l)y chance been lost, — 
 
 That I could obtain far better croj:;s 
 With these hel|S at command. 
 Than to take it in its natural state 
 As it rolled from God's own Hand, 
 And I made a vow rii»ht then and theie 
 And l)y that vow I swore, 
 I would give them oats the xoiy hest spot 
 That I could lind out door. 
 
 I would lind a spot wheie Natuic had 
 Her very tinest done, 
 And then with art I'de fix it u[» 
 'Till it was Number One. 
 
20 
 
 T would get inaniire of Modern Stamp 
 Those ^'Patented Eiglity-FouiV 
 I would get Guano from the Isles 
 And Sea-Weed from the Shore. 
 
 r searched my farm trom end to end 
 .\hide Chemical tests of the same, 
 And found the very richest spot, 
 For growing high priced grain. 
 I measured off just eighty rods 
 For this my Baht/ PM^ 
 It was in the very farther end 
 Of my most farther lot. 
 
 And on one pleasant afternoon 
 
 Quite early in the season, 
 
 I committed them oats to Mother Faith 
 
 And then commenced to reason. 
 
 I figured up manure and cash, 
 
 My lahor with Uiuscle and hone. 
 
 And then threw into the conmion sum 
 
 My brain work, 'twas my own. 
 
 And I thought so then and I have from hence 
 
 And I do as I write these lines, 
 
 That instead of sowins; common i^-rain 
 
 I was scattering silver dimes. 
 
 But if they only hore their fruit 
 
 That lucre for which we strive, 
 
 Then I'd be glad, tliat I'd complied 
 
 With what was Advertised. 
 
21 
 
 The clouds descended, the showers came 
 
 The sun gave down its light, 
 
 And with Nature's elements all comhined 
 
 Them oats soon hove in sight. 
 
 When first I saw them peeping up 
 
 It was early in the morn, 
 
 I says to Wife when I Avent up 
 
 That my ' Pet CliihC is born. 
 
 And day hy day this ^' Bahi/^^ grew, 
 
 In figure I rocked it too and fro, 
 
 And when I had nothins^ else to do 
 
 I stood and watched it grow. 
 
 I thought so then and I think so now 
 
 As I this subject throtle, 
 
 If I am permitted the" figure of speach, 
 
 I brought it up on the "Bottle." 
 
 I hung around this sequestered spot 
 It was my souls enchanter, 
 I showed it to my many guests 
 And with them all did banter. 
 I saw it last on yesters eve 
 And it was well appearing, 
 Tall and stout, with color good 
 Just putting on "Head-Gearing." 
 
 That Chiy it died— at 10 to-day 
 It was Murdtr in the First Degree^ 
 Crushed to death, by the teeth and feet 
 Of thirty cows on a spree. 
 
99 
 
 Yes, cruelly murdered, cut off from life 
 In the pride of Youth and Promise, 
 And when Dan and I arrived on the scene 
 I was hoth mad, and astonished. 
 
 .^^ 
 
 t^'|'f^^J'!iiii'ia 
 
 2:r.^iiil'^r Jfift 
 
 V 
 
 
 Tliere stood those thirty murderers 
 
23 
 
 With eve-balls o-lariuo; wild. 
 
 As if a 2:loatiiii»: oe'r the wreck 
 
 Of this mj own '' /'it Child y 
 
 They passed through clover of inviting sweet 
 
 ^Y grain of the common kind, 
 
 But never stopped until they reached 
 
 This enchanted ^^spot" of mine. 
 
 Yes there upon them "Eighty Kods"' 
 Them thirty murderers stand, 
 But every spark of life has fled, 
 There is nothing left, but the land. 
 Now up and down that lot tliey fly 
 Those breakers of the law, 
 Pursued by men and dog in haste 
 Oh how they all did claw? 
 
 They ran, they cantered, they galloped 
 
 With their tails swung in the wind, — 
 
 They looked like a wild herd on the plain 
 
 Pursued with fire behind. 
 
 Yes up and down that lot they flew 
 
 In a w^ild chaotic prance. 
 
 And the tune to which they all kept ste]) 
 
 Was the same the Wild Men dance. 
 
 Yes up and down that field they went 
 They knew where they got in; 
 They could not see it now you know. 
 That's just the way with sin. 
 
24 
 
 They flew like ^'demons" at the stakes 
 As if they owed them spite. 
 Took on their horns a wad of hay, 
 As they ran onward in their flight. 
 
 I chased them '^nnrderers" till I tired 
 
 My hreath was almost gone, 
 
 And then from dire exhaustion 
 
 Sank down u[>on a stone. 
 
 And when I had well caught niy hreatli 
 
 So I could my thou«:hts direct, 
 
 I think they'd went unto the had 
 
 Had the good not hehl them in check. 
 
 1 thought of all the swear words 
 
 That in ni}- life I'd heard, 
 
 I hope I did not say them 
 
 I ''do u[)on \\\\ word." 
 
 I rather think I did not, 
 
 But the tongue is an unruly memher 
 
 I am somewhat like the "Bad Boy," 
 
 I do not now rememl)or. 
 
 Now wlien we liad them ^'culprits" jailed 
 
 Put u[) their prison hars 
 
 The bell had rung fordinncr twice 
 
 I feared domestic jars: 
 
 For if there's anvthinii: in tliis world 
 
 That makes mv i^-ood wife scold 
 
 It's waiting dinner for a time 
 
 Till evervthiiiiT is cold. — 
 
25 
 
 
 Now who is that a tiirnnio; hi, 
 
 A trotting up the drive? 
 
 It is Pars(jii L.^I'll het my hoots, 
 
 It is as I am ahve. 
 
 The iniserahle V^ — why did lie come? 
 
 When the weather is so tine, 
 
 His husiness conkl as well be done 
 
 In not so hurrvin"' a time. 
 
 ''Very glad to see yon Paison L., 
 
 Although I may he a sinner, 
 
 Just put your horse right in the barn 
 
 And stop with ns to dinner." 
 
 "It can't l)e noon," the Parson said. 
 
 And his eyes they flashed amaze. 
 
 Then from his pocket drew his watch, 
 
 Then to the sun did 2:aze. 
 
26 
 
 "TlicTi from his pocket drew his watch, 
 Then to the sun did gaze." 
 
 OhI Time flies fast in these liglitninii; times, 
 
 In these fast living days," 
 
 And the smiles danced on his })leasant face 
 
 Like the white caps on the waves. 
 
 '^ Yes I'll take you at yonr word 
 
 And to "dinner" with you stay, 
 
 Just throw the horse a peck of oats 
 
 You need not mind the hav." 
 
 My Wife came out upon the stoop, 
 She said not a word I think, 
 But quicker than a flash of light 
 She cauii'ht mv Httle '^wink." 
 
27 
 
 I kept the Parson from the house 
 I showed him the calves and pig, 
 While my Wife she' shuffled into 
 A cleaner and hetter rig. 
 
 I showed him the fine points of my nags 
 Told the feats that they'd perform, 
 And the number of years that had lied by 
 Since them two nags were born. 
 While in the house the dishes flew 
 Old table-cloth and all, 
 These being replaced by better ones 
 In honor of this call. 
 
 I told him that near nag of mine 
 
 In a race had been a winner, 
 
 And was interrupted in my tale 
 
 By a call of Wife to dinner. 
 
 When all were seated round the "board" 
 
 I gave the Parson a nod. 
 
 And he proceeded in a solemn tone 
 
 Returning thanks to God. 
 
 When our repast was ended 
 
 I felt I could not wait, 
 
 I thought I'd take my usual smoke, 
 
 Asked the Parson to '^partake." 
 
 "IN'o, thank you friend, I do not smoke 
 
 Narcotics I do not need, 
 
 No, for their use, I've no excuse. 
 
 It would be sowing '^'bad seed." 
 
28 
 
 Now, while you enjoy this pleasure, 
 
 Draw solace from the ^^weed," 
 
 I'll discourse to you a spell 
 
 About thiuii^s I think we need. 
 
 It may not be a personal sin 
 
 For you to enjoy your smoke. 
 
 But there are weaker brethren in the hue 
 
 That cannot stand the stroke. 
 
 And when once their appetites are 'roused 
 
 There is created a burning thirst, 
 
 That will not quench until they pass 
 
 From bad unto the worst. 
 
 Through all my lite I haye observed 
 
 Among all its whirl or din 
 
 That ^vhat's an innocent pleasure to one 
 
 To another may be a sin. 
 
 I think 'twould bo by iartbe best 
 Tofaliill the la\y t<> the "letter/' 
 And that we should let this pleasure ^j^o 
 For others it would be better. 
 Now Farniei' I), you liaye pi"ospered 
 By the tilling;: of the sward. 
 Now he that 'giyeth to the poor 
 But lendeth to the Lord.' 
 
 There are many people in the world 
 To whom tlie "Word" was never preached 
 There are man}- people on this earth 
 The Bi])le has not reached. 
 
29 
 
 The Word of God it teaches 
 And the mandate it is strong, 
 That the good has got to conquer 
 And must supplant the wrong. 
 
 This world of ours is heautiful 
 Which tlie Lord our Grod has given, 
 .\nd promised if we are dutiful 
 We shall live with him in Heaven. 
 And one of our duties here to do 
 Is to help His noh!e Cause, 
 And snatch as many as we can 
 From sins most raecii'ed iaws. ' 
 
 The peo[)le here upon this plain 
 Their old Church now do rue, 
 And think of erecting in its place 
 One that's good and new. 
 We cannot huild tliis church with faith, 
 We cannot make it of prayer, 
 But we must have the sohd cash; — 
 Now have you some to spare? — 
 
 For just as true, as the sky ishlue, 
 
 And drops do form the river, 
 
 Blessings pure, that will endure 
 
 Shall he the reward of the giver. 
 
 Though you don't train under our Sectional Flag 
 
 Your aims are for the right, 
 
 And I have no douht, but you are on your route 
 
 To Heaven's Mansions bright. 
 
so 
 
 T think it would Ije by far the best 
 
 If you would join (uir Army Coqise 
 
 And nmrcli witli us to tlie home of tlie jus.t 
 
 Far away on tlie other shoi'e. 
 
 Now Farmer D, Ujum tliese points 
 
 I vvisii you wouhl speak your mind, 
 
 And tell me true, how it is with you 
 
 And how you are inclined." 
 
 f 
 
 I laid my pipe upon the slielf 
 And then I sx-ratched my head, 
 And jismy thoughts came to me 
 Itinally spoke and said: 
 "[ believe in the Gospel Banner 
 Thouo-h r don't live np to the text. 
 And that the God who made tliis world 
 l>id als) make the next. 
 
 That we all have duties here to do 
 Thjit we shoidd try and ^vell perform 
 And make it our aim to Heaven gain 
 And es/ape the [)lace that's ^'//v/rm." 
 And to cany on this Gospel Work 
 It takes the cash T am well aware, 
 And as our Father deals Avith us 
 With Tlim we ouicht to share. 
 
 That the man that preaches the Word 
 Says mass and makes a prayer. 
 Has got a stomach like myself 
 And cannot live on air. 
 
81 
 
 And lik(^ me he is also human 
 And with the flesh he has to light, 
 And that he makes his 'Mittle mistakes'' 
 While trviniJ' to serve the iii2:ht. 
 
 I hardly think there is any Sect 
 
 That controls this '-{r/v^// 'rhintafl, /.v'y?r," 
 
 Or has any special hargam made 
 
 Forniakinir '^<inicker time." 
 
 I hardly think theie '.s any Sect 
 
 That owns a Palace Cai", 
 
 That will carry its memhers to Heaven's gate-s 
 
 AVithout a single jar. 
 
 I hai'dly think there is a'ly Train 
 That runs upon the Kail, 
 But if it travels hy the ( 'h'lri 
 That Heaven's Hosts will hail. 
 Ihardiy think theie is ;my Train 
 When all its passengeis are in, 
 But has on hoard with all its good 
 Some of Adam's sin. 
 
 I don't helieve their is any Train 
 That on tliis Track should run, 
 That carries only the grea.t in mind 
 And slights the little ojie. 
 I don't helieve u[)on tliis Ti'ack 
 And it seems its clear enough. 
 That the^'Eugine" makes the (piickcst time 
 That has the loudest \)\\^\ 
 
32 
 
 I don't believe upon this Track 
 And it is very plain I ween, 
 That the '-Enirine is the stronsrest 
 That has the loudest scream. 
 
 ■^j 
 
 111 
 
 I beheve that every '^Sleeper'" on this Route 
 
33 
 
 No iiuitter to wliat Train hitched, 
 Before it arrives at the end of the Line 
 Will from the Track he switched. 
 
 r helieve that the Lord who sui-veyed this Hoiire 
 
 And superintends this Line, 
 
 Will see tliat eveiy Train that runs 
 
 Shall make its ))roiier time. 
 
 Nor is tliere any [>asseni>:er 
 
 Wlio has a |)ass cleai- thiouo-h, 
 
 But if he disoheys the rules 
 
 Tt will he cancelled ere he is duo. 
 
 That the passeno-er wlio pays his fare, 
 TLis liis tickets "]>roi)erly punched," 
 Will find at the Loi'd's tahle a chair, 
 And ^'milk and lioney" for lunch. 
 That payino; tlie fare is "doiui;- i-io'lit," 
 That tlie "checks" ai e tlie witnesses withiTi, 
 Ihat he has [tassed from "deatli to life 
 Been freed tVom oii.;'i!ial sin. 
 
 "1 boliove this track whi(!h Moses laid, 
 And which our Savior did repair. 
 
34 
 
 I believe this track whicli Moses laid. 
 And which our Savior did repair, 
 Ts the only way that we ai'e sure 
 Will ever lead us "There/' 
 If there's an entrine on this line. 
 And there are some, T ween. 
 That has not cajtacity enoui»:lr 
 For making snthcient steam; — 
 
 It had better be voted tVom the Tnhk 
 As a "shiii-irMrd" and a '-hai-mer," 
 And would better sei'Ne the hunun race 
 As a ditt her oi- n fari^.er. 
 
 It had better Ix' votod frrrrn the track 
 Asa "slu'i^ii'in'd" and a ''fiarincr," 
 And would better serve tlie liuiiiari race 
 As a ditehei- or a fanner. 
 
35 
 
 N()vv% F^irso]! L.. take no offense 
 At what to you I've said, 
 We all have got onr duties to do, 
 We all have crot to be fed. 
 
 Some are called to preach the Woid, 
 Some ill the busy marts to stand, 
 And S'>me to settle up the feuds. 
 While others till the land. 
 Some there are who have nothing to do. 
 And I am sometimes led to think 
 That their only special caUing is 
 To gape, and stretch, and blink. 
 
 Now, Parson L., when you've been the round* 
 
 Of your own })ai'ticular sect, 
 
 And in the end you lack a bit, 
 
 Why, then I'll draw my ''check." 
 
 I am willing to do what ere is right 
 
 To help this noble catise. 
 
 For I believe it's the corner stone 
 
 Of all good and noble laws, 
 
 ''Now, Farmer I)., I agree with thee 
 
 In many things you say. 
 
 But there are some, I vow! T vum! 
 
 I see in a diff'erent w^ay. 
 
 I Avont stop now to argue these. 
 
 For I must wend my way. 
 
 But, perhaps, dear sir, the time may occur 
 
 When I'll have more to sav. 
 
36 
 
 Accejtt my tluiiiks my Honoied Host 
 
 And alx.nit that matter yon s; oko, 
 
 From what Vvo lieard, I'd as soon have your' word 
 
 As your ^-Promise to jiay'" ma note. 
 
 Nhiy the hlessinirs of Heaven shine on yon. 
 
 May your labors he met with reward, 
 
 May you enjoy this hte in full measure 
 
 And in the end find a home with the Lord.'" 
 
 Dan had -the Parsons riji; to the dooi-, 
 
 For a moment he did l(»iter, 
 
 Then stannneriuir unto Dan he said: 
 
 •"Did you ii'i\e the lioise some wntei?" 
 
 Dan in tlie afhrmativc did lej-ly, 
 
 A sniile [.laved round tlu' Pa i Son's face. 
 
 He iuittoned his duster good and hiu'h 
 
 And into liis u'iu" he jum[ed with i^'race. 
 
 I!r j.uiU'd tlie lap r<»h(3 u[) in front 
 
 In the k'Tt hand held the rt'in, 
 
 'i hen tuincd his eye, ira/A'd at tiie sky 
 
 And ieii;ai ked, "It looks like rain."' 
 
 'I hen with his wliip, iraVL' 'lit' lioiso a v\\\> 
 
 'I Ikmi utteicd a solemn, '•Stc'a<iyl Whoa!" 
 
 1 hen wa\ed liis hand, and touched his hat 
 
 And howcd a kind "Good Dav." 
 
 It w;is half past two, wlien tlie Parson went 
 And waved his iarewell adieu; 
 P)Ut {'/<> think, that Parsons s' A o^^/^/ ihink 
 When "HayiniT Time" is due, 
 
37 
 
 And take to themselves a vacatkm 
 Ketire to Nature's charmino: bower. 
 Drink in her inspiration true. 
 To use in some dark liour. 
 
 "'Now Dan it* you evev made a motion 
 Since you hjive lived with me, 
 Hiteh up them horses lively 
 And about that hay we'll see." 
 Theie comes my favorite Peddler 
 All prepjired a tirade -^to whack," 
 With iifty [Kxinds in either liand 
 And twice that numl)er on his back. 
 
 He thiidvs that labor is a sin 
 
 That a fai-mer is a [.1 odder 
 
 And with his i)ack stra[)ped on hie back 
 
 He tries to get his fodder. 
 
 He would not [tlough, hoe nor mow, 
 
 He thinks it allied with trouble, 
 
 But makes a freight car of himself 
 
 Till he is bent up double. 
 
 And when adding up within his mind 
 
 His many little gains, 
 
 He gives no credit to muscle and bone, 
 
 But ascribes it all to brains. 
 
 How are you? Mr. Peter Pulkahetzel I 
 
 But I had almost rather be bounced, 
 
 In fact, be hung, than with the English tongue 
 
 To try and your name pronounce. 
 
88 
 
 '^OTi! tlie W()i-I(l moves fairly on vid me^ 
 
 I lune no cause for complain; 
 
 I makes my leetle trades eacli day, 
 
 And makes my leetle i^ains. 
 
 Do you vant any i^-oods to-day ? 
 
 I'll sell them very scheep, 
 
 For I have a "Tiir' that's vallinu' due. 
 
 And vhich I vants to meet. 
 
 " I ho't these ii;<^<><1s of a Bankrupt Firm 
 
 For a leetle ot nothini;, suie, 
 
 They are i^oot to vear; they will not teai-, 
 
 I'll warrant 'em to enduie." 
 
 '' Oli! Trade witli the woiium if you can, 
 
 For I've no time to linger, 
 
 And then I whis[)ered unto wife 
 
 '' Don't huy anything, hy ginger!" 
 
 Here comes the Butclni- looking for hecf. 
 
 The red faced jolly clown, 
 
 lie is coming n-av to huy that cow 
 
 I si)()kc al)i>ut when at town. 
 
 ^'Well how is it with thee, Mr. Farmei- D. 
 
 And how ahout that co\^'? 
 
 As I was <roin<r hv, I thoui^^ht I'd try 
 
 If I could huy lier now." 
 
 "Oh! Drive on your nag, and call again, 
 I have no time to dicker, 
 I would no.t stop now to sell a cow 
 Not even if it was mv "kicker." 
 
89 
 
 CJC 
 
 "^'Beef s oi) the dcmnward slide my friend 
 I sup[)(ise yon well do know, 
 It's not woith now into a cent a jxmnd 
 What it was a week, ago." 
 
40 
 
 Here conies a man a selling tin 
 
 To barter tor co})[)er and rai:;8, 
 
 And by tbe way we look, we'll be mistook. 
 
 He wifl liave us all in bairs. 
 
 Just tben tbe niaid cjime to tbe door 
 
 In a dress of old -'Dolly Varden." 
 
 Cries sbe, "Vourpiirs aie danciiiii; jiij;s, 
 
 x\ll over tbe bjsl of y ):i;' i^ii'de »."' 
 
 "Come Peddlei" of tin and notions too, 
 
 Come Bute-ber and let us try, — 
 
 Ob I bate a bog! Come bere my dog, 
 
 Let us i2:et tliem iiiL!:sin tbe stv." 
 
 In tbe Englisb tongue, tbeie aie no woids 
 
 To express tbe noise tbem pigs did make; 
 
 l>ut peal oti [leal of territbc squeals 
 
 Did tbrougb tbe aii' vibrate. 
 
 [)n tbe waves of tlie wind, tlie fearful din 
 
 Did float away into space, 
 
 Wbile tbe yelling ot* men atul tbe l)aik of dog 
 
 Did I'ollow (piick in i>a* e. 
 
 On eacb wave of tbe breeze, went a wlice and ;i 
 
 wbeeze' 
 Witb a gi'oan, a grunt and an I"g! 
 While eacb [»ig faced about presenting bis snout 
 To be bit o\\ tbe end witb a club. 
 
 I know tbat tbe Ci-eator of All Good 
 
 In bis works never used any "Sboddy," 
 
 But for all I bavc said, it seems a bog's bead 
 
41 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 C 
 
 ^* 
 
 
 c 
 
 cS 
 
 
 Vj 
 
 o 
 
 
 % 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 '"*- 
 
 U; 
 
 _ . 
 
 bJC' 
 
 _, 
 
 fcjj 
 
 ■^ 
 
 .^ 
 
 J— ' 
 
 E 
 
 — 
 
 f3 
 
 
 P 
 
 IX 
 
 1 ^' 
 
 
 ■^ •- ^ T! 
 
 Is oil tlie wronir end of its Ixxly. 
 
 For l)ackvvar(l tlicv we-it, vvliut ere tliuii- intciit 
 
 Till they l):icke(l clcjir into tlie [)eii, 
 
 And wlicn tlioy weiv there, by their acts did 
 
 declare 
 How came we liere? and wlien? 
 
42 
 
 I hardly could sec in iny lit'o Itcfore 
 
 How the Devils entered the swine, 
 
 l>nt now I'm content, they certainly went 
 
 In ohediance to tliat summons iJirnK. 
 
 And tliougli we are intoinied in Si-riiihiral Lore 
 
 That thejn swine nm into tlie sea, 
 
 And of tlie (h'vilisli i»ack ne'er one caine Imc'c 
 
 Oh how c'lm all this this he? 
 
 For whatever with swine y«>n \va\v to (h> 
 
 Be your actions i^'ood or evil, 
 
 They will pay you hack in e\ eiy act 
 
 As it possessed of the 1) . 
 
 Xow I understand that s lyin;^- of old, 
 "As cotiti'ary as a hog on ice," 
 And can plainly see, it will lasting he 
 As, So Bossy! So- o! Hoist! 
 
 "I thank you fi lends each and all 
 
 For the service yrw ha\e gi\eii, 
 
 Thu.s in helping another, out of a hother 
 
 You lia\e fulfilled the Law of Heaven. » 
 
 As you each ply well yoin- S[ ecial trade 
 
 May |)lenty crown your store, 
 
 You have my good will, tliat 3'our money till. 
 
 Mav he full and i unninir oe'r. 
 
 Ah! lleie comes a stranirer throuiili the <i:ate 
 With i)ortly look, -aye grand, — 
 Witli massive hrow and comely shape 
 And gloves upon his hanck 
 
43 
 
 "Good Day, my fVieiid! Do T now addiess 
 Mr. Fanner D. Ins lionored self?" 
 "Yon have that honor, if it an lionor he 
 Though with tlie honored I'm only an elf." 
 
 '•I would like to S[)eak with you my tVieiul 
 
 111 private if you please^ 
 
 And when jilanned ai ight and you join in might 
 
 We will launch it oji the l)reeze." 
 
 '•We will hie to the ham my honored friend 
 
 'Ihe Farmer's "Ofiice" you understand, 
 
 Now make youi'self at home, at ease. 
 
 I am your -^servant" ami at youi* eonnnand." 
 
 "My friends they say, and seem siticere, 
 That they think it foi- the puhlie good, 
 That 1 should feast for at least a year 
 Upon the government's food. 
 It is a fact, as you well kno\A-, 
 That them old laws our fatheis made 
 Aie getting almost ol)S')lete, — 
 Thev aie vervoldand staid. 
 
 They need re mod ling, "tixing u[)" 
 
 They are too slow a "team," 
 
 'Jhcy do nt)t with the times keep [)ace 
 
 Of Tele[)hoiie and Steam. 
 
 I feel ordained hy Providence 
 
 'I'hat this is my "special woi'k" 
 
 I have felt its impress ere so long 
 
 That from the "field" I dai'enot shii'k. 
 
44 
 
 I intend to .enter the Ciinvass 
 '^Solely for the [mhh'c l'"oo(]. 
 (Aside.) Bnt within [ liave a ''liankt'iinic' 
 V^y lis ^'•Statesmen"' understood) 
 I will standi hy my "Constituents" 
 (Aside.) But the "Lohhy" I admire) 
 I will stand hy my "Constituents" 
 (Unless there is somethin^• bin — ir. 
 
 I wantyoui- hc'l[»n()W Faimcr I)., 
 ThoiiiJ-h vou and t ai*e sri'an_ivis 
 \!)d you may het V\\ tiy and s'<in my eye 
 For the good < t* all the "G/ani;ei-s." 
 Xow will you ii'i\(' me youi' word <»t" honor 
 Your lienor as a nuin. 
 That yon will help me in tliis matter 
 And do whatso'eie you can. 
 
 "Xow Hon. A. I will say to you 
 Our Coimtry does stand in nee.l 
 Of lemedies that are healiiiii" 
 It is late in the day to "hleed," 
 lUit in all oui- Natioirs"aihneiits" 
 For all of her seeming "ills", 
 I think the "/JrWo/w" do her "hleed," 
 As often as they give "liealing i)ills/' 
 
 Now in the early days of our Nation's life 
 The office songlit the man, 
 
 And there were but few, that made np the erew 
 Now styled the "Political Band," 
 
45 
 
 r)nt in tlic'se days wlion a n()l)le son) 
 
 Sees liis countiy si"()iii;jf to I'uiii, 
 
 And knows tVom that liour, if [tlaced in | ower 
 
 Tie can stay tlie storm that's hrowitiiz;, - 
 
 He ninst have money at his command 
 
 And infhience "liiii'li' [ lemark. 
 
 And son.e to yell -'Sic* Ilim!" '-Sterhoy!" 
 
 And sou.e to i nn and hark. 
 
 lie has !i;ot to '-o/r//" a pack of houmhs 
 
 Stronii' in muscle, mii,'ht and main 
 
 Commanded hy a'diuiitsman tme" 
 
 That knows wlieie to ti'.id the '^ ''ame." 
 
 One that knows well tlie "Innitinsj; ground," 
 
 And the favorite haunts of -'i^'ame," 
 
 If he would have luck, to follow his pluck, 
 
 And wishes to "hole" the sime. 
 
 ^(nv, brains ei.ough I have not got 
 
 To help yon pull the w^ire, 
 
 My budget of infinence it is small, 
 
 It will not pay to hiie. 
 
 My pace is slow, at any rate, 
 
 It is only a farmei-'s jog, 
 
 And I cannot see what I can l>e 
 
 Unless I can be your— dog. 
 
 I have barked around the "political stump'" 
 
 When told that there was "game," 
 
 But I'll be bound, some other 'houn<r 
 
 Did always get the same. 
 
46 
 
 -J-A 
 
 ... ... > ^. ^■^^' 
 
 "I have b;H"ke(l anniiid t!u' ••politiciil slump. " 
 
 I have I'oiiulit fur these poHtiral '-hrieks". 
 With the s, ill it of a Spartan — aye, ]K>l<lei', 
 And was led totliiiik, hy jnoni'sr and irniL\ 
 That tliey wonld beiir the .\nhoii on tlmr sh'.Hhii i 
 \\q\v lier I'p tlircngli tlie (jna^i's and niiies. 
 Stop tlie wastinij: of h^r sweetest sij», 
 Aiul hind lierat last, as in a n;other's ii:i"asp, 
 \\\ the G<><hl<s-< of Ijfbni'/'s I j). 
 
 { watched my '-iiuxUd" of pohtical skiH, 
 Take tlie Xation on his s^i )u](ler. 
 And was [)rond at lieart to see him start, 
 Foi' tlie ''Goddess,'' to enfold lier. 
 My pulse heat slow, my lieart throhhed lou'. 
 -^ s his foi'm heeame unsteady, 
 I s iw him reel, slip on I>rihery's '-peel", 
 (r() d(>wn in eorrnption's eddy. 
 
 Xo, to yo'i I will mike no promises, 
 On my help yoa need not dote; 
 But it beloni^sto me, to carefully see 
 Where acoes mv honest vote. 
 
47 
 
 I :. 
 
 y. 
 
 Now, Dan, that hay we now riinst get, 
 No rnatter what comes next; 
 We nmst not stop, unless we are honght, 
 For any slight pretext. 
 
 The liuujs of Ndturr^ wliich had heaNed 
 The whole of the live-long dav, 
 
4^ 
 
 .1 -% 
 
 ^ 
 
 tm c^^,V^ 
 
 / 
 
 s<^'\;4l 
 
 ^ 
 
 ^/l. /^ 
 
 :^^]if- 
 
 
 And wliicli lind raised partirulai' fits 
 
 Wlioii wc woiv at tlic liay. 
 
 Had (inietod down to tlii-ir -Mioi-inal state" 
 
 And ceased to nioiii and I'let, 
 
 And tlie ''svnihtoms" tliev were very stion »-, 
 
 That Xatuie was about to ^'sweyt." 
 
49 
 
 For ill the South a hank of clouds 
 
 As hhick as nether doom. 
 
 With lio^htnino' flasli, and then a crash 
 
 Of thunder's fearful bocni, 
 
 Proclaimed to nie, as plain could be 
 
 Without a revelation, 
 
 Tliat the clouds were about to empty out 
 
 On earth their '^perspiration." 
 
 We had that ja*^: re-loaded. 
 
 And we were ready to go; 
 
 The sky was black as dooms-Day — 
 
 Three Dooms-days in a row. 
 
 The drops came down with terrific force 
 
 From Heaven's Hydraulic Ram, 
 
 And it seemed by the roaring, hissing sound 
 
 They had broke away the ''dam." 
 
 Eacli dro[> was a liftle win!n% 
 
 As it struck onr summer ircdi-, 
 
 It made a svow -drift of our feelino-s. 
 
 An icchrrf/ of each hair. 
 
 Into the Ijarn we drove pell mell, 
 
 A yelling like two country l)ricks, 
 
 Ran through an old hen and chickens 
 
 And killed just three of them chicks. 
 
 Down c[ime the rain in toi'rents 
 In dr()[:s both large and small, 
 It wet the hay and evei'ything 
 The eaves were a waterfall: 
 
50 
 
 I souo:lit my cot in the kitchen 
 
 With feelings any l)ut grand, 
 
 And to ease ni}- pain took the very lirst tinin 
 
 Ti) dreamland's happy land. 
 
 And in that beautiful world of visions 
 
 To my hearts content and delight 
 
 I found they had not a "L>r///" that's ''Bad" 
 
 r>nt one most lovingly bright. 
 
 I thought it was in "Jlaying Time"'" 
 
 Quite early in the morn 
 
 And as I cast mv evci unt<^ the skv 
 
 Thoi'c were no signs of "storms." 
 
 And though the '^\huanai'" it had siid 
 "The Sim will rise at half past Four." 
 It seemed to me, it was up at Thix-e 
 And had opened wide its doC))-, 
 Thi'own hack the "shuttei-s" of the night 
 Rolled up the "crrtains" high 
 And with its radiant l)eams did light 
 The whole of the Eastern sky. 
 
 I thought the "cows" came up alone 
 
 Came one hy one to me, 
 
 And stood so still, while my pail did till 
 
 I'd only to look on and see. 
 
 T thought "Old I)i-in" was the first to come 
 
 r thought she was not lame, 
 
 All seemed right, and the sky was bright 
 
 And it did not look like I'ain. 
 
51 
 
 I thoui^^lit 1113' dog lay close to rue 
 All curled up in a little heap, 
 And ill dog language seemed to say 
 "I have not cliased any sheep." 
 
 ;»—— Va-^n Jill ^ 
 
 I thought neighbor F.ry, he was at Iioiik 
 And with convulsions did <juivei-, 
 I thought the nurse was dosing him 
 With medicine for hlsUcer. 
 
 I thought my "nags" came trotting u[t 
 
 All liitched to a new hay rig, 
 
 With Dan, my man, to them command 
 
 While he was dancing a jig. 
 
 I thought the cow^s they grazed around 
 
 And chewed their cuds in the shade, 
 
 Remain d in view, did not fret or stew 
 
 As if thcv thought to aid. 
 
52 
 
 It seemed the "Peddlers" weut straight by, 
 
 They never look onr way, 
 
 As if thev tlioiri:ht tiiat we had o^ot 
 
 To handle all that ha v. 
 
 fs:- ■" , ; 
 
 '^% (7^7— ill'-, i = 
 
 
 
 ^ S, 
 
 
 1 rocked niy "Pet diild" some that day, 
 Snatched kisses of approbation, 
 
53 
 
 I thonglit {he "Pars-)ii" lie went liy 
 (~)n liis wny to spend ''Vacation." 
 
 But from these tliono-]jts T suddenly woke,- 
 
 Pleasant dream it Avas to me , 
 
 As my little Danirhter to me spoke 
 
 And says '-Pa' get up to tea." 
 
 And liavino- done justice to that meal 
 
 Kei2:aled the inner nun. 
 
 We all went out to milk the cows 
 
 And Dan did lead the van. 
 
 But ere T iairly had commenced. 
 
 Oh how their tails did tly, 
 
 And straio'htway with uneirino: aim 
 
 They took me in tlie eye. 
 
 And thono'h the sun was shininij: hriLcht 
 
 All throno^h the window hars, 
 
 I could distinctly, plainly see 
 
 The "Twinklino; of the stars." 
 
 And if they chanced to miss my "eye" 
 Thouo'h they would scarcely eyei' fail, 
 Then hackward in its comse 'twould come 
 Co— slap into the pail. 
 All reeking with this milky foam 
 Then came what I did fear, 
 And Avith a true unerring aim 
 She "swashed" it in my oar. 
 
54 
 
 I tli()iii;-]it oftliat fanatic fool 
 
 Who l>y Ills close devotion 
 
 Had ruined ]iis reason and Ixxly too 
 
 In seekin_i- '-Peipetnal Motion/' 
 
 And wished he weie tliere for a little vj[)ell— 
 
 r know he w )!d(l have re-jovei'ed, 
 
 For lie'd liaxe thonii'ht, he'd certainly got 
 
 What ne'r had been discovered. 
 
 Oh how I wish "my kicker'' was milked! 
 
 I wish to the "Butcher" ["d sold her, 
 
 And you may l»et I will, or call me a pill 
 
 Before I am \'ery much older. 
 
 But sighiuii; and wishing amounts to naught 
 
 In this world's husy stiife, 
 
 So down to "mv kicker" I inmiediatelv 2:<>t 
 
 After saying "Good Bye" to Wife. 
 
 'What are \ ou ahout?" I yelled quite loud 
 
 With thoughts nii»h unto sinninji; 
 
 "What ailsyour |)egs, keej* still your legs, 
 
 J\ee[) down your under|)inning." 
 
 She stood in a twice, as still as mice, 
 
 And gently die wed her cud. 
 
 From me not a word,tliej"e was nothing stii"rc(| 
 
 Fxce[)t the milk's dull thud. * 
 
 When quicker than a flash, there came a crash, 
 Like the ]>anging of a door. 
 The milk did fly and so did T, 
 AIL sprawled u[)on the floor. 
 
55 
 
 T gatheixMl my l)oiies np in a heap 
 Placed tlieiii down on stable sill, 
 And could yon haye seen my face iust then 
 You'd thouficht I was niakinji: my " IIV//," 
 
 And if that subject had been niy theme 
 
 I giye to you my yow, 
 
 That the man I liated the worst on earth 
 
 I'd willed to him that cow. 
 
 And the [a'incijial tenet of that "wilP' 
 
 And tlie sole condition on whicli made, 
 
 That he should milk lier ///vVr a (hiy 
 
 While on this earth she stayed. 
 
 The worst [)unished man in all this world 
 This enemy of mine would haye been, 
 He'd wished Satan had con.e from his ai>ode 
 And took him to liye with him. 
 States-iJiison would been a nlace of joy 
 With rounds of pleasure Til allow, 
 And hanging a "sweet sersation'' 
 In place of milking 1 hat cow. 
 
 ^'DaUj" I cried in anguish tones, i 
 
 •'My Stalwart Dan I trow, 
 
 If you haye any conceit you can't l)e beat, 
 
 Just try and iinish that cow. 
 
 My bones are sore and so is my grit 
 
 My neryes are all unstrung, 
 
 And curses not few, my mind course tbrougli, 
 
 Thouixh I've uttered ne'r a one." 
 
56 
 
 ^•\(>\\' Pxiss I \'()W, and do declare 
 
 r>y all tliat's said and writ, 
 
 'iliat wliatcvcr I tlion^'lit that von n.ioLt lack 
 
 T iK'xer supposed it was ij^rit. 
 
 Tliere iievei' was a cow in this hroad land 
 
 Toniposed ot* inusele, liones and meat, 
 
 That when once I was seated hy her side 
 
 I)id evei' n.e nnseat. 
 
 I will finish that eow for von my Bess 
 I will, as I'm a man, 
 And when she is (h)ne, as Xnnd)er One 
 Von shall sij) the health of Dan." 
 With nms-le of steel, and a heart of flint 
 'Ihat in Herce fiii,-]it wonld ne\'er fail, — 
 I>an seated hin;self hcside that eow, 
 And the milk went l)nhl)linii' in the ['ail. 
 
 Quiet rei^-ned supremOj like the gentle hill 
 
 That follows in the wake of the di'ead stornTs 
 
 hlast; 
 A deathly stillness reiLi'ned o"ei" all 
 As Dan ('o;itinned at his .task. 
 The milk had almost ceased to 11 )W, 
 '1 he finishing stroke was neai". 
 When (inicker h\- far. than a ' sh(^otinir stai'" 
 I )aM landed on his eai'. 
 
 '•Grent GhosV lie cried, "Is it the Knd of Time? 
 Has the Jndiiement certainly come? 
 What is tliat roai'imi; in mv ear? 
 
57 
 
 cf. "^ 
 
 cci -, 
 
 
 Is it tlic 8 'ii;;(l of Truiiiiiet and Di-iim?" 
 
 'I lieu into a liin] sy mass lie fell, 
 
 'I lie coli.r iT'iii liis faei' <li(l <i,'(), 
 
 And tlie ex{)ress;()n on his eountenance le t 
 
 JU'Spoke liis Teal fill woe. 
 
58 
 
 I Itont o'er liis still mid stalwait t'onii 
 
 I stroked liis maiilv Idow, 
 
 And as liis conscionsnoss did retiii n 
 
 He gazed n|> to tliat ro/r. --, 
 
 '•I swear by the KiiiLis of Satuiii 
 
 By tlie red fared firev Mars. 
 
 By all the Planets that in s[)ace levolve 
 
 \)\ the Universe of stai's, — 
 
 I)y all the ho\ini'S of the land 
 
 That do earth's waters (nuitf, 
 
 That there is '- J/Hjlitniiuf enoiiuh in that eow's 
 
 hide 
 To run the whole " l\li (jniph.''' 
 If [ owned that <'ow myself ]>oss, 
 Whether low in tliis world's goods or u}) 
 Pd trade her oft' for something else 
 If it was naught hut a '-poodle pup."' 
 
 -'Dan, let otluus piate the gentleness 
 
 Of our Yankee l)ovine raee, 
 
 But you 11 agiee, I trust with me 
 
 'lliat they'll de[>o; ulate our i"aee. 
 
 People may talk ahont the Farmer, 
 
 Of his eomforts and his joys, 
 
 Of his merry lauiZ'hini'' milkmaids 
 
 And liis jolly whistling hoys,— 
 
 Of the breezy aii'of free(h)m 
 
 That surround their eountry's home, 
 
 As through the vales they ramble, 
 
59 
 
 ¥ 
 
 Or o'er tbe hills they roam. 
 But among all this joy and gladness 
 There are some things that are sad 
 Among all these days of goodness 
 There is often one that's '' Bad.'' 
 
 It was in July and Haying Time 
 
 Just at the close of day, 
 
 I had fed the pigs and done the chores 
 
 And turned the cows away, 
 
 The sun sank low in the distant west 
 
 To sleep in- Morpheus' arm, ♦ 
 
 And with its last departing ray 
 
 Closed the "Bad Day On The Farm:' 
 
 FINIS. 
 
00 
 
 AGENTS 
 
 Wantkj) in vvvvy town and county in the Uniti'd 
 States to sell ''r.AD day on the farm." Send twenty- 
 iive cents for- 'M'rositectns" and onttit and ij^o to work. 
 Yon will tind it the best seillin^ ]5ook of the seasnn. 
 It needs oidy to he shown to sell it. Saiu[>le e«>pies of 
 *'BAi) itAV o\ Tin-; TAiiM,"' scut to any a(hliess post paid 
 on reeei[)t of retail priee (50 ets.) fifty rents. Liher- 
 al terms to aietits. ('oi-respondence s )lieited. All 
 connnunifati )ns sh )uld he addressed to the Author, 
 (wlio owns and conti-ols 'Jie whole husiness, havini:,- 
 liired the printinii' of the sime at s > wwu-h ([ku- tli >n- 
 
 Band.) 
 
 M. F. BKNTLKY, 
 
 C^uitoiu St. r.awrenee Co.. X. ^ . 
 
;^«- --*~^ . -,, _: iz~ 
 
K*{',r,°'= CONGRESS 
 
 
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