NO PLAYS EXCHANGED Bugbee's Popular Plays El El 13 El El El EI El El El El El El El El El El El El El Uncle Eben s S prise Party By W. T. NEWTON PRICE 25 CENTS EI HI Q El El El El El E] El EI D G El D D EI Q E] G The Willis N. Bugbee Co. SYRACUSE, N. Y. The Bugbee Entertainments ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE Some Class. Commencement Play in 4 acts by Edith F. A. U. Painton, 6m. 9f. Claimed to be the best commencement play on the market. Full of good healthy humor. Time 1 hour 40 min. 35 cents. Aunt Sophronia at College. College comedy in 3 acts by Willis N. Bugbee. One of the best short plays we have ever offered. Full of fun from start to finish. 5m., 7i. Time lj4 hurs. 25 cents. Billy's Aunt Jane. Comedy in 3 acts by Willis N. Bugbee. For school or community. Good darkey character. 8m., 7i. Time, ly^ io 2 hours. 25 cents. Patriotism at Boggsville. Play for grammar grades. 8m., 5f. Good for indoors or out. A very up-to-date play. Time, 30 minutes. 25 cents. Graduation at Gayville. A play for grammar grades. 6m., 6f. Includes a mock commencement, class poem, etc. Time, 30 minutes. 25 cents. Uncle Peter's Proposal. A farce in 2 acts by W. T. Newton. 3m., 2f. A very clever little play. Time, 30 minutes. 25 cents. Coonville 'Ristocrat Club. A darkey play for church or school or any occasion. Clean and wholesome. 6m., 6f. Time, 1 hour. 25 cents. Darktown Social Betterment S'ciety. A good Avhole- some darkey play. Very funny. For 9 male charac- ters. Time, 30 minutes. 25 cents. Uncle Ebcn's S'prise Party. Here is another splen- did negro play. It certainly is a surprise party. 6m., 6f. Time, 30 min. 25 cents. Uncle Si and the Sunbeam Club. A delightful play for grammar grades. Opportunity for specialties. 7m., 7f. Time, 30 min. 25 cents. The Willis N. Bugbee Co., Syracuse, N. Y. Bugbee s Popular Plays Uncle Eben's S'prise Party By W. T. NEWTON Author of ''The DarJctown Social Betterment Society'* and "Uncle Peter's Proposal Copyright 1918, by Willis N. Bugbee THE WILLIS N. BDGBEE GO. SYRACUSE, N. Y. ^ " ."K^' Uncle Eben^s S^prtse Party Characters Uncle Eben, who Tias the party Aunt Dinah, Ms wife Thomas Jefferson Whitefoot George Washington Corncob Jeremiah Highbinder Absalom Meeker Moses Fletcher Mrs. Martha Meeker Mrs. Eliza Highbinder Mrs. Georgianna Whitefoot Miss Isabella Twogood Miss Carolina May Lilybud Guests Time of Playing: Thirty minutes. Costumes Any ludicrous or extravagant costumes with flashy colors may be used. Mr. Meeker is rheumatic. Mrs. Highbinder is very stout. Scene: Interior of Uncle Eben's home. Plain ivooden-'bottom- chairs, an old rocker or two and a cheap kitchen table constitute the furnishings. Uncle Eben and Aunt Dinah are discovered seated. As the curtain rises Uncle Eben has a severe fit of coughing and sneez- ing. SfP 23^/i,,a Q 'Ci.L) 504^7 TMP 'T^ -^d<^99,>H- Uncle Eben^s S^prise Party Eben. Oh golly! I'se done got it dis time fo' suah. Dinah (entering). I should say you had. Wharebber did you' get sech a distemper as dat? Eben. I dunno, Dinah. I s'pect mebbe I done caught it in bed. Dinah. Lan' sakes! How'd yo' catch col' in bed? ' Eben. Well, yo' see, I didn't hab bed clothes nuff on 'tother night an* — Dinah. Den why didn't you get up an' put some more on? Dar was yo' old obercoat an' dat piece ob carpet yo' could a put on. Eben. Yes. I was gwinter but I done went to sleep an' fo'got all about it. (Coughs and sneezes as before.) Dinah. Shucks! Yo' know dat ain't de reason. Yo* knows yo' done catched it dat night when yo' got yo feet wet goin' arter dem water millions. Eben. Sh — ! Dinah, don't let nobody heah yo' speak ob dem water millions. Dinah. Den yo' shouldn't a got 'em. Eben. I knows it, I knows it, but somehow I Jes' couldn't resis' de temptation. Dinah. Well, den you'se gotter soak yo* feet an' take a dose ob boneset tea, dat's wat yo' gotter do. Den yo'se gotter go to bed an' take a sweat an' see if yo' can't get ober it. Eben. Don't yo' s'pose de boneset tea an' de sweat would be nuff, Dinah? Dinah. No sah, I don't s'pose dey would. Dey all goes togedder — one ain't no good 'thout t'other. Takin 'all together dey can knock de grip all to smithereens. Eben. But Dinah, I — Dinah. Dar ain't no "huts" about it. We can't take no chances on yo' gettin' pneumony or de epizootic case dey am awful expensive diseases. Yo' take off you' shoes and stockin's while I goes an' gets de tub an* de watah. Does yo' heah me? Eben. Yes, yes, I heahs yo' all right. (Exit Dinah). Grachus! Dinah am wusser'n a doctor. But I reckon I hab to do wat she says or dar'll be "Hail Columby" in de quarters. (Enter Dinah with tub which she places in front of Eben.) 4 UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PAETY Dinah. Dar now, get yo' big feet in dar while I go'n' fetch de teakettle. (Exit.) Eben. Yes, Dinah (puts feet in tuh). I spec's I'd hab to do it if she done tol me to put my head in dar. (Re-enters Dinah with teakettle. Pours water in tub. Eben jerks feet up quickly.) Eben. Lawdy sakes! Dat watah am hot nuff to take de skin riglit off' n a rhinocerhoss. Dinah. Co'se yo' wants it hot. 'Twouldn't do no good if 'twas cold. Eben. I knows dat, but needer would my feet be any good 'thout any skin on 'em. (Makes great fuss over the water but finally gets feet into tub.) Dinah. Now, I'll jes' go'n get de hot stuff to put on de inside. (Exit.) Eben. De cure am wusser dan de disease but dar ain't no use ob argfyin' wif Dinah — she's as stubborn as a mule. (Enter Dinah with bowl of boneset.) Dinah. Heah now, yo' bettah get dis on de inside ob you jes' as quick as ebber yo' can. Eben. Yes um. Say, Dinah, s'posin' somebody should come. Wat I gwinter do? Dinah. Shucks! Dar ain't nobody gwine come tonight. It am too dark. Eben. Mebbe some white folks come to see 'bout dere washin'. Dinah. Let 'em come. All dey'd see would be a pair ob big black feet. Eben. Or s'posin' de elder come fo' de money we fo'got to put in de contribution box. Dinah. Lawsy me! Yo' don't nebber cotch him heah in de ebenin'. He am mos' suah to come when he smells de dinnah cookin'. (Sound of voices outside.) Eben. Golly, heah comes somebody now. How's I ebber gwinter get out of heah? Dinah. Lan' sakes! Who can it be? (Enter Mr. Whitefoot, followed by others.) Mr. W. Heah we is, Uncle Eben. We'se come to gib yo' a s'prise pahty. Eben and Dinah. Fo' de lan sakes alibe! UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY 5 Mr. Corncob. Haw! haw! haw! Wat am de mattah, Uncle Eben? Mr. Meeker. Am yo' tryin 'to get some ob de soil off? Haw! haw! (All laugh.) Mr. Highbinder. Reckon we suah did take yo' by s'prise. didn't we? (All laugh heartily.) Eben. No sah, I ain't soakin' no soil off. I'se done got de pleurisy in de win' pipe. Mb. Highbinder. It am a mighty bad time ob de yeah to* colds. Miss Lilybxjd. Dat's so. We'se all had colds to our house. Dinah. He wouldn't had no cold if he hadn't gone out an got his feet wet. Eben. Sh — Dinah! Dat ain't de reason 'tall. I done kicked de bed clothes off an' dat's how I cotched col. Moses. De bes' remedy fo' a cold dat I know ob, is a table- spoon ob goose grease mixed wif a tablespoon ob castor lie, taken jes' fo' goin' to bed. Miss Twogood. I knows a bettah remedy dan dat. Take a half a teacupful of melted lard an' put in a little honey an' drink it down fo' times a day an' de cold will be all gone befo' de nex' mornin'. Mr. Meeker. A bowl ob red pepper tea on de inside an' a mustard plaster on de outside done beat 'em all. Eben. Don't tell any mo' remedies case Dinah she done make me take 'em all suah as preachin'. Dinah. Lan* sakes! If I ain't done fo' got to ax yo' all to take off yo' tings an' sot down. I was so frustrated I didn't know what I'se about. We'se mighty glad to hab you' come. Eben. Dat's a fac, we is. We is jes' as glad to hab yo' come as — as — as yo' is glad to be heah. (All lay off hats and wraps. Aunt Dinah piles them on chair in corner or carries them off the stage L. Meanwhile Eben wipes feet with huge bandanna handkerchief, and proceeds to put socks and shoes on. Others take seats.) Dinah. Dar now, ebryone make yo'selves to home. To Eben.) Has yo' got froo wif de washtub, Ebenezer? Eben. Can't yo' see I has? Dat hot water jes' drawed de cold right out. I don't reckon I need any mo' medicine. (Dinah carries off tub,) Mr. Whitefoot. I reckon yo' knows de 'casion fo' dis s'prise, don't yo' Uncle Eben? out. UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY . Eben (scratching head). Dat's Jes' wat I'se tryin' to figure Mb. W. Why, it's on 'count ob yo' burfday, of co'se. Eben. My burfday? Golly, dat's so. (Enter Dinah.) Say Dinah, we clean fo'got all 'bout my burfday today. I'se fohty-seben yeahs old. All. Pohty-seben? Dinah. Fohty-seben? Yo'se fifty-seben yeahs old if you'se a day. Eben. How can dat be? Les see (counts on fingers.) I had de measles when I was ten yeahs old — married my first wife when I was twenty-fibe an' we libed togedder fifteen yeahs twill she died — that's thirty-fibe yeahs — Miss Lilybud. Dat's fohty yeahs, Uncle Eben. Eben. Yes, um, so 'tis. Den Dinah an' I got spliced an' we'se libed togedder in conjubial blissfulness eber since — seven- teen yeahs. Dinah. Well, don' dat make fifty-seben yeahs, T lak to know. Eben. Dat's right, I'se fifty-seben yeahs ol' today but I don't feel no more'n twenty-seben. Mrs. H. So yo' see we done get up dis S'prise Party in honah ob de 'casion. Miss Twogood (holding picture). An' we wishes to present dis lil' gift to yo' as a token ob our esteem an' frien'ship. (Hands picture to Uncle Eben.) Eben. Hi golly! Wat yo' tink ob dat, Dinah? Ain't dat splendiferous! Dinah. Dat sutttinly am lubly. Eben. An' we tank yo' from de bottom of our libbers. Dinah. De bottom of wat? Eben. 'Sense me, I mean de bottom ob our hearts. Mrs. H. Miss Lilybud has wrote a lil' poem specially fo' de 'casion, which she will now read. (Miss Lilybud rises and reads poem.) Miss L. I tells yo' bout our darkey frien' An' dar sho'ly ain't no finah, His name is Uncle Eben Jones — His woman's name is Dinah. UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY 7 We all ob us lub Uncle Eb — We lub his laugh so hearty; His bufday comes dis bery night — Dat's why we has dis party. We hopes yo' all will do yo' part Without DO great persuasion ' An' ebrybody dance an' sing In honah ob de 'casion. An' now I tells yo' all de truf — ^ His age am fifty-seben — We hopes dar's many yeahs in sto' For good o' Uncle Eben. Mr. Meeker. An' fo' Aunt Dinah too. Eben. I jes' lak to know who done tole yo' all my age? Carolina. We looked it up in de records, Uncle Eben. Eben. In de p'lice records? Carolina. Naw, not in de p'lice records. We foun' it whar it done gib de burfs. Eben. Dat soun's bettah. Say Dinah, hadn't yo' bettah clear away all de breakables an' gib 'em full swing ob de house? Dinah. Dar ain't nuffin' breakable 'ceptin' dis picture an de lamp. Eben. Well, yo' bettah leab de lamp. Mr. Corncob. Now wat am de fust ting we gwinter do to 'muse ourselves at dis pahty? Moses. Les hab some conundrums an' de ones wat don't gib conundrums has to sing. Mr. Highbinder. Dat am fair nuff. Moses. Well den, heah am de fust one: Wat am de difC'rence 'tween a safety razor an' a little goat? Mr. Corncob. Huh! A safety razor ain't nuffin' like a goat. Mr. Meeker. W« gibs up. Wat am de difE'rence twixt a safety razor an 'a goat? Moses. Well sah, I can prove to yo' dat dar ain't no diff'rence. Mr. Meeker. How's dat? Moses. Well, yo' see, a safety razor am a little shaver. A "little shaver" am also a pickaninny. A pickaninny am some- 8 UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY • times called a "kid," an' a kid am a little goat. Quinsequantly, dar ain't no diff' rence 'tween a safety razor an' a little goat. Mrs. "WniTEFooT. I knows anudder one: Why am a burglar wat gets into yo' house at night a suah sign ob spring? Mrs. Highbinder. Lan' sakes! I nebber knew a burglar was a sign ob spring befo'. Mrs. Meeker. Needer did I. Mrs. H. Mos' likely it's case de windows would be open to let in de spring sunshine. Mrs. W. No sah, dat ain't it. It am case he is a robbin' an 'a robin is a suah sign of spring, ain't it? Moses. Mrs. Meeker, it am yo' turn nex'. Mr. Meeker. Yes sah, heah 'tis: "Why am a lil' chicken jes' hatched out ob de shell like a mule's tail. Eben. a lil' chicken lak a mule's tail? Eben. Huh! I reckon case it's been set on so much. Mr. M. No, sah, dat ain't it. It's case it hab nebber been seen befo'. Moses. Miss Lilybud am nex'. Miss L. Lan' sakes, I nebber could think of one to sabe my gizzard. Moses. Well, den, yo' is booked to sing fo' us dis ebenin'. How 'bout yo', Mr. Corncob? Mr. Corncob. I spec's I gotter help Miss Lilybud sing. Moses. Den it am Miss Twogood's turn nex'. Miss T. Why am an ol' maid like a one-legged man's shoe? Eben. Huh! We all knows dat! Case dar ain't needer one ob 'em got a mate. Miss T. Yes sah, dat's it, an' dar ain't no likelihood ob her habin' one needer. Eben. Den yo' wants to look out yo' don't get to be one. Miss Twogood. Mr. W. Moses am gwinter look out fo' dat, ain't yo' Moses? Moses. Yo' bet I is. Nex' am Mr. Meeker. Mr. M. Well den wat kin* ob animal would make a good trabeler? Mrs. W. Why, a camel ob co'se, case it can, go a long time wifout drinkin'. Mr. M. No, sah, dat wouldn't make a good trabeler 'tall. Miss T. Den wat animal would make a good trabeler? UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY 9 Mr. M. An elephant case he carries his Saratoga trunk 'long wid him. Moses. Now it am Mr. Hingbinder's turn. Mb. H. I begs to be 'scused. Mes. H. An* I allers does Jes' as my husband does. Moses. Bery well, den we'll expect yo' bof to sing fo' us. I can see dat Mr. Whitefoot has one already fo' us. Mr. W. Yes sah, I has. Wat am de resemblance 'tween a dollah bill an' a pole cat? Mr. Corncob. Huh! I don't see no resemblance. I'll take de dollah bill an' yo' can hab de pole cat. Eben. Well, wat am de resemblance, Mr. Whitefoot? Mr. W. a dollah bill am a hundred cents, ain't it? Several. Yes sah. Mr. W. An' I reckon a pole cat has jes' as many scents. Mr. H. I bet dat pole cat wat got undah our bedroom flo' an' stayed fo' free days las' summah had more dan fohty million scents. Mr. C. I reckon we bettah quit on dat. Say, Uncle Eben, how's yo' pleurisy in de win'pipe comin' on? Eben. 'Tain't comin, it's goin'. It am mos' gone already. Mr. C. Does yo' feel able to sing fo' us? Eben. Yes sah, if Dinah'll help me. (Eben and Dinah sing any darkey song.) Moses. Now wat about yo' folks dat didn't gib de conun- drums? We'se waitin' fo' de song. (Mr. and Mr. Highbinder, Mr. Corncob and Miss Lilybud sing any good quartet.) Mrs. M. Miss Twogood, I heahs yo' am takin' lessons in hysterical torture. Miss T. No, sah, not "hysterical torture" — it am physical culture. Eben. Am yo' doin' it fo' yo' health? Miss T. No sah, I'se preparin' to gib instructions in it. Would yo' lak to hab me gib yo' folks a few instructions? Mr. M. Lan'! How's I gwine do it wib my rheumatiz? Miss T. It am good fo* de rheumatiz — bettah dan hard cider or liniments. Mrs. H. An' I suah is too stout fo' such fool performance. 10 UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY Miss T. Lots ob folks am takln' it jes' to rejuce dere weight Now if yo' will all stan' up, all yo' has to do is to watch me an' do jes' as I does. I'll count one-two-free-foah, like dis. (Shoivs motions and counts.) Now ebrybody, ready! (She executes any calisthenic movements such as finger tips on shoulders, extending arms sideioard, upward, forward, etc., on four or eight count time. Following the arm movement she may give leg movement as follows: (1) raise knee to right angle; (2) extend foot forward; (3) return foot to position in 2; (4) resume standing position. Hands should be on hips during this exercise. A trunk movement may he given as follows: extend arms and tend body to left and right on two count time. Mb. Meeker, Mrs. Highbinder and others make ludicrous grimaces and exclamations during the exercises.) Miss T. I spec's dat's enuff fo' dis time. Mr. M. Golly, I spec's it is. Mrs. H. I'se all out ob breaf. Mrs. M. We gets all dat kin' ob torture ober de washtub. Eben. Hadn't we bettah hab some refreshments, Dinah, aftah such strenuous business as dat? Dinah. I'se got a pan ob fried cakes I done fried dis mornin'. You can hab some ob dose. {Gets fried cakes and passes them around.) Moses. Hi! Don't dem look scrumptious! Mr. H. Dey looks jes' as good as my ol' Mammy uster make. Mrs. H. Dey looks bettah case yo' ol' mammy couldn't make fried cakes fit for a pi& to eat. Mr. C. Now while we'se refreshin' ourselves I jes' lak to ax a question an' hab yo' all gab yo' opinion on de subject. It am an old question dat has been argufied ebber since Adam an* Ebe was in de Garden ob Eden. Mb. W. Mus' be a funny question not to be decided in all dat time. Wat am de question anyhow? Mr. C. De question Is: "Am marriage a failure or isn't it?" Wat has yo' all got to say on de subject? Mr. W. I has a lot to say. Marriage am a great institution. Dar is mo' people in de state of matermony dan in any odder state ob de Union. If you has nebber been in dat state yo' better hustle an' get into it quick's ebber yo' can. Miss T. It seems to me dat ebrybody oughter get married if dey can scrape up money fo' de license, an' if dey can't dey oughter borrow it. Dat's my 'pinion. UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY 11 Moses. Does yo' tink I oughter borrow de money, Isabella? Miss T. Yes sah, if yo' don't happen to hab it in yo' pocket. Moses. Mr. Highbinder would yo' be so kin' as to loan me a quahter? Mr. H. I'se got one heah wif a hole in it I'll let you hab. (Gets money.) Moses (takes money). Tank yo', I'll go down fo' breakfas* tomorrow mornin 'an' get de license. Mb. C. How does yo' feel 'bout it, Miss Lilybud? / Miss L. I feels the same way as Miss Twogood. Mb. C. Den if Mr. Highbinder will loan me a quahter I'll go 'long wif yo' in de mornin', Mose. Mb. M. I'se jes' 'bout come to de conclusion dat marriage am a failure. Mr. W. Wat's de reason, Mr. Meeker? Mr. M. Well, yo' see my wife she done quit takin' in washin' so I'se had to go to work on de dump wagon. Tink ob it — a respectable niggah like me workin' on de dump wagon. Mrs. M. Dat's right. I'se tuk in washin' fo' de las' twenty yeahs. Now I'se come to de conclusion dat I'se gwinter take it easy fo 'a spell an' let somebody else do de drudgin'. Mr. C. I say, le's take a vote on de subject. All dose who tinks marriage am a failure raise de right han'. (Mr Meeker starts to raise hand.) Mrs. M. Absalom Meeker! Yo' take yo' ban' down. Mr. M. Yes um. Mr. C. All dose dat tink marriage isn't a failure raise de lef hand. (All raise hands except Mr. M.) Mrs. M. Absalom, yo' raise yo' lef hand. (He raises hand.) Mb. C. It am carried anonymously dat marriage am not a failure. MosEs. Wat am de nex' ting? Les ebrybody hab a cake- walk. (All clear floor and execute short cake walk if desired. An- other song may be given by quartet in place of cake walk, if desired.) Mrs. W. I reckon we all bettah be goin' home now. It am gettin' mos' bedtime fo' ol' folks like us. Moses. 'Taint neah bedtime fo' us, is it Isabella? 12 UNCLE EBEN'S S'PRISE PARTY Miss T. I should say not. Mrs. H. But we'se had a lubly time. Several. Dat's right, we suah has. Mb. W. An' we wish de bes' kin' ob luck to Uncle Eben an' Aunt Dinah. Eben. An' we'd like to hab yo' all come again on my nex' burfday. Dinah. An' as off'n as yo' can betwixt an' between times. (Exeunt with chorus of "good nights." Young people start up negro song.) Ctjbtain Thb Mbboanttle Pbsss 845 W. Payette St. Syracuse, N. Y. The Bugbee Entertainments ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE Hiram and the Peddlers. A farce in 1 act. The climax is a great surprise. 5m., 2f. Time, 30 min. 25 cents. Closing Day at Beanville School. The most popular play for intermediate grades we have ever offered. 7m., 7i. (more or less). Time, 30 min., or more. 25 cents. Seven Little Soldiers and Seven Little Maids. For primary or intermediate grades. A splendid patriotic number. Book contains also "The Little Patriots* Loyalty Drill. 25 cents. Midgets' Grand Parade. A delightful pageant for little tots. Very easy to produce. Time, 30 min. 25 cents. Funny Little Food Folks. A novelty entertainment for children. This is something different. Time, 30 rain. 25 cents. Jolly Christmas Book. By Willis N. Bugbee. The only patriotic Christmas book on the market. Full of good things for a Red Cross or patriotic Christmas program. 30 cents. America's Flag. A beautiful patriotic march and drill with tableaux. For 8 or 12 girls. 25 cents. Following the Stars and Stripes. A splendid new patriotic pageant. This should be on every program. For any number of children. Time, 15 to 45 min. 25 cents. The Spirit of Christmas Time. A delightful pageant introducing pretty little drills, dances, songs, tableaux, etc. For any number. 25 cents. The Willis N. Bugbee Co., Syracuse, N. Y. 015 910 137 P # Two Patriotic Numbers FOLLOWING THE STARS AND STRIPES A Patriotic Pageant by Willis N. Bugbee Introduces Betsy Ross, Minutemen, Daughters of Liberty, Volunteers, Barbara Frietchie, Soldiers and Sailors, Red Cross Nurses, College Boys, School Girls, Tradespeople, etc. Suggests songs, drills, dances, tableaux, etc. Should be included in every patriotic or Red Cross program. Price 25 cents. PATRIOTISM AT BOGGSVILLE A Play For Grammar Grades A lively little play full of fun and patriotism. Mr. Wiggles worth, a deaf old miser; Hi Bartlett, who al- ways does as Bill does; and Pat McGinnis furnish the comedy. A flag raising in the second act. A splendid number. 25 cents. ^ ^^^ The Willis N. Bugbee Co., Syracuse, N. Y. Mercantile Press. 345 W. Fayette St., Syracuse. N. Y.