PS 3511 
 .U94 C4 
 1919 
 Copy 1 
 
 I 
 
 A CENTURY 
 OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 (COPYRIGHT' 
 
 By 
 EMANUEL FURTH 
 
©C1A580726 
 JAN 13 1920 
 
A Century of Observations 
 
 By Emanuel Furth 
 
 PREFACE 
 
 It must not be supposed by the reader that the author has attained 
 the age which the title suggests, aUhough he is quite willing, in the 
 natural course of events, to become a centenarian. 
 
 He has, in a fairly busy life, borne a very scanty resemblance to 
 Caesar, but in nothing more striking than that he came, he saw and was 
 conquered. Life for him has had its ups and downs ; its happiness and 
 griefs, successes and disappointments; but the lure of it has ever been 
 
 with him. 
 
 Neither is it to be supposed that these observations state anything 
 that is either infallible or original. To repeat, he came without effort 
 of his own; he saw, and with some effort, he has endeavored to jot 
 down, from time to time, the result of his observations— mayhap, for 
 the kindly guidance of others who are still in the noonday of their 
 journey. What are the subjects? Well, anything which he thought 
 worthy of thought and record. 
 
 Accustomed as the author is to giving professional advice, he is 
 by no means insistent that the injunctions herein contained are to be 
 followed. The reader has the option always afforded to the dissatis- 
 fied client, to obtain a better lawyer. 
 
 Times, conditions and circumstances must be taken into account, 
 but under no variation should there, in the opinion of the author, be 
 a lapse of kindly optimism. It will help to solve many a problem which 
 seemed insurmountable. 
 
 It is to be hoped that the reader will not regard any of the 
 observations as dictated by an irreverent spirit. Sadly lacking as he 
 is in highly developed religious traits, he has the greatest admiration 
 for piety, with a preference for the unobtrusive sort. He has tried 
 his hand at many things with varying success, but never before has 
 he even attempted to sermonize, and does not do so now, as he is 
 painfully aware of the fact that he dwells in a metaphorical crystal 
 
 palace. 
 
 Without more ado. he dedicates this effort to his beloved profes- 
 sion, wherein he gained so many of the notions and experiencesi herein 
 
 expressed. 
 
 Emanuel Furth. 
 
 Philadelphia, October 1, 1919. 
 
I. 
 
 Many thousands of books have been written about books, but few- 
 have been devoted to Book Agents, who in the years of our adolescence 
 glibly aligned our literary tastes until experience dictated the necessity 
 for disregarding their specious advice. Sooner or later we come to 
 know that the contents of an easily handled, limp leather bound book 
 are often more valuable to us than those of the costliest dc luxe edition. 
 Time-worn shoes are no more friendly to comfort than our favorite 
 author, especially to one who has the ability to make a real choice. 
 
 II. 
 
 It is a far cry from Cervantes to Ibanez. The former sounded the 
 death knell of chivalrous knight-errantry ; the latter seems to be in a 
 fair way to destroy the tawdry accessories which made for the deca- 
 dence of Spain. She is to-day on the brink of rejuvenation if she in 
 anywise follows the admonition of the brightest intellect she has pro- 
 duced in the intervening centuries. 
 
 III. 
 The greatest of living historians is an Italian. In presenting to us 
 a picture of Ancient Rome, Gibbon had the disadvantage of not being 
 "to the manor born." Ferrero, in his brilliant version of those stirring 
 days, breathed the balmy atmosphere of his Native Latium. One may 
 hope that when the hectic D'Annunzio shall have declaimed his last 
 word in the Fiume incident, his sane compatriot will record passing con- 
 temporaneous events so that we may form a judgment as to whether 
 "Italy Redeemed" is a mere phrase or a reality. 
 
 IV. 
 
 \\'ith rare exceptions, the Novelists depicting life in the A^ictorian 
 Age now seem stilted and artificial — almost like the high hat and Prince 
 Albert coat — dressy but scarcely practical in this day of harnessed 
 motors prepared to reach the stars. 
 
 V. 
 
 A sense of humor in the human make-up plays the part attributed 
 to a safety valve in mechanics, but when you can attend many perform- 
 ances of "The Ham and Egg Tree" at timely intervals and laugh as 
 o-leefully at the last presentation as when you first made its acquaint- 
 ance, you have cast an "anchor to the windward" which will make you 
 survive with cheerfulness the stress and storm which life inevitably 
 keeps in store and awards to all of us. 
 
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A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 VI. 
 Any device which will enable you to imprison a bit of sunshine in 
 your heart will give you strength to weather the storms of adversity. 
 The wit of man has been exercised for ages and in countless forms to 
 produce faith which will create the silver lining for the passing cloud. 
 Lucky is the man who has not outlived his childish faith in fairies, 
 the kindly but effective enemies of hobgoblins. 
 
 VII. 
 Golf is a wonderful game; it involves recreation and exercise in 
 equal proportions. It ought to be largely patronized by the legal pro- 
 fession. It inculcates courtesy ; it is a perfect romance of alibii ; it 
 affords a post-graduate course in the science of numbers ; it produces 
 figures which cannot lie. Moreover, its vocabulary of expletives is 
 inexhaustible. Mention ought to be made of the fact that it is a guar- 
 anteed cure of the gambling or speculative habit ; and now that the 
 nineteenth hole is abolished, it bids fair to take the lead in a prohibition 
 referendum. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Elijah still holds the record for aerial flights, with Elisha a close 
 second — confirming the prognosis of King Solomon anent novelties. 
 
 IX. 
 To be characterized as a "silk stocking" in the days gone by was 
 equivalent to taking rank among the "Four Hundred." Nowadays, to 
 be without a silk stocking is an unheard-of monstrosity. What a dreary 
 world this would be if the silk worm went on a strike for more mul- 
 berry leaves and less hours of labor in perfecting its cocoon ! Meantime, 
 more power to the "near silk" industries. 
 
 X. 
 
 Self-respect is but a form of egotism, but vanity is by no means 
 the most deplorable of human characteristics. It will disappear only 
 with the advent of the Millennium, and until then, it now and then 
 serves a good purpose. In men, if accompanied by a bit of clever capa- 
 liility, it is a saving grace ; in women, it serves as a barrier against 
 unwarranted encroachments. 
 
 XI. 
 
 Gratitude is the highest form of human virtue. Since we are at 
 all times so dependent upon each other, its universal prevalence would 
 serve, as no other sentiment could, to cement the happy relations of 
 
 4 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 mankind. On the other hand, ingratitude is the basest of vices. It 
 promotes discord and discontent, and for the most part might be said 
 to be a plant of feminine growth. Ever since Creation, woman and 
 the serpent have been associated, so that proverbs of hoary age attest 
 our thoughts in this respect. Gratitude seems to require virile soil for 
 its hearty growth. It may be that when men and women are made 
 entirely equal by force of law, the loss of femininity will be made up 
 by the forceful gain of appreciation. 
 
 XII. 
 
 We tolerate eccentricity in genius for the benefit of mankind; we 
 submit to the domination of the entirely capable for more or less 
 selfish reasons ; we shrug our shoulders at the folly of the fool, but 
 it requires a deal of moral courage to, subvert the claims of assured 
 mediocrity. The success obtained by small-souled assurance makes it 
 tempting and attractive; it oflen ensnares and holds in bondage ])U(lding 
 intellect that might well, with perseverance and courage, escape so 
 dismal a fate. 
 
 XIII. 
 
 Enlightened conversation would serve to largely eliminate health 
 and weather discussions, but this would embarrass those who use these 
 leads to obtain the benefit of a serious talk on style and the domestic 
 servant problem. 
 
 To satisfy curiosity is often the open sesame to one notoriously 
 given to minding the business of others ; quiet, very quiet, argument 
 is most efifective with the stubborn ; short, crisp sentences are required 
 for those who are firm ; a sigh and a pressure of the hand move the 
 sentimental; coolness saves the hasty and impulsive; courtesy (which 
 costs nothing) is the concrete foundation upon which all may safely 
 stand. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 Character and reputation are largely and erroneously regarded as 
 synonymous. The former is known to the few ; the latter gauged by 
 many. The best of us may be misunderstood, and the worst of us over- 
 estimated. The meek and lowly have much to achieve in the public 
 eye ; the frank and outspoken are often regarded as irritants ; the hasty 
 as too impulsive, and the braggart is not always envied. After all, 
 integrity of purpose, subject to human imperfections, generally produces 
 the finest standard by which you may be estimated. 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 XV. 
 
 Sarcasm is sometimes the only effective weapon to implant the 
 truth. It may l)e, it often is, the pvirveyor of malice, and when addressed 
 without regard to comprehension it is visihly emharrassing. Spoken 
 with kindly intent, accompanied hy a merry twinkle of the eye and 
 upward curve of the mouth, it is usually unfailing in promoting amity 
 and understanding. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 The colored sage asserts that "Friendship don't mean no mo' to 
 some folk dan a license to 1)orrow money," and it is greatly to he 
 feared that sordid considerations form the hasis of many alleged friend- 
 ships. \"olumes have heen written upon this theme, and still there is no 
 adec|uate description of the real friend. Persons, circumstances and 
 conditions are so varied that a general definiiion can scarcely fit all 
 cases nor clear the path of duty. Love of humanity is the hroad founda- 
 tion upon which all friends may stand ; sacrifice of sentiment, even of 
 principle, may l)e justly demanded, so that heneficent happiness may 
 he promoted. Every ]ntrely friendly act is like a stone cast in a stream ; 
 a generous cast, producing ever-widening circles, carrying the deed far 
 heyond its origin, thus tending to link the multitude in fraternal bonds. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 Courage is a wonderful thing, especially when balanced by mental, 
 moral and physical qualities. Cowardice causes more sufifering to those 
 thus afflicted than to those who are aiTected by its conseciuences. Little 
 men are usually full of noisy, physical courage; big men, with real 
 nerve, are rarely aggressive. To exhibit moral courage is the severest 
 test of all. Brutal frankness is by no means an expression of vigorous 
 mentality. Hypocrisy is the most blatant of vices and clearly indicates 
 a lack of every form of courage. 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 The law of compensation in nature is applicable to humankind, 
 though, as a rule, we fail to notice this all-pervading influence. Nature 
 is ever busy to remedy its own defects, though nowise hurried, for time 
 is not in its reckoning. Impatient man lives a decade in a day and 
 looks for vast changes with each succeeding sunset. Energetic striving 
 contentment brings a sure reward. The shifting scenes of life are mar- 
 vels of alternate light and shade, the happy blend of which makes the 
 struggle worth all it costs and enables you to create a surplus which no 
 inheritance tax can deprive the donor from presenting, or the donee 
 from receiving. 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 XIX. 
 
 Xothing is so gratefully appreciated as the ethical action of the 
 other jcUoiv; and in this respect, example is often thrown to the winds 
 of shrewdness, there to he ruminated over among the other foibles of 
 mankind. The culture of ethics — Heaven-born sentiment — still waits 
 for successful propagation upon the disintegration of a thousand and 
 one other cults of minor force. 
 
 XX. 
 
 Umbrellas ought seasonably to be classed with dogs, as ferae 
 naturae, and thus eliminate the right of property in both. It would save 
 the conmiission of many petty crimes, rarely, if ever, punished except 
 by the twinges of an uneasy conscience. When you care to think about 
 it, the umbrella is a manifestation of character in the person who owns 
 or even borrows this seeming necessity. The prudent man is never 
 without one, even during a period of long-continued drought. The 
 careless are always seeking the shelter of a corner store, now converted 
 into a .Salvation Army Rest ; the fastidious alTect marvels ; the slovenly 
 exhibit spare ribs: the virile possess the ante-dekige kind, and the 
 delicate make a show of silk and tassels. In the Orient it is an emblem 
 of royalty. On the stage, the farmer-visitor to the city uses the rain 
 protector as a handy weapon, and rescues threatened virtue. 
 
 Supplications to St. Swithin to protect us from the melancholy 
 effect of "dry days" in wet weather have thus far proved' abortive. 
 Woe betide us when the High Cost of Living reaches the umbrella 
 stage — after that, the deluge ! 
 
 XXI. 
 
 The pajama is fast bowling out the nightgown. We really ought 
 to bolster up our statutes on import and immigration, so that the ideas 
 of the Orient may not be further permitted to taint the notions of the 
 Occident. 
 
 XXII. 
 
 If you will play the Stock Market, on paper, according to your 
 notions for a given period of time, then make comparisons with that 
 which really took place, it will surprise you to learn how much money 
 and Avorriment you have been saved and how much more preferable is a 
 quiet, entrenched sector. 
 
 XXIII. 
 
 In this ingenious mechanical age, it is ever more difficult to deter- 
 mine cause from effect. Are we becoming more inventive because of 
 the progressive training of our mental faculties, or rather out of an 
 
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A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 indisposition to labor physically, driving us — like James Watt — to lazily 
 discover the virtue of steam power? It is cheering news to learn that 
 inventive genius is rubbing its Aladdin Lamp in the eiTort to increase 
 the number of genii who will relieve our overworked maids and matrons 
 from their household cares and duties. 
 
 XXIV. 
 
 We hear much these days of "heavier than air machines" and those 
 of us who do not fly are a bit puzzled — it seems so obvious that all 
 machines must be heavier than air. Long ago we came to know about 
 men and women "lighter than air," and it was always a matter of sur- 
 prise what fantastic figures they cut, though without wings and unable 
 to fly. 
 
 XXV. 
 
 To be sure, titles in this country are an anchronism, but Carlyle 
 in "Sartor Resartus" has convinced us that without proper clothing 
 there would be no titles, and hence neither kings, princes nor Grandes 
 Dames. So in a democracy, how would you know a colonel from a 
 judge? An Exalted Ruler from the Grand Head Forester — if it were 
 not for titles? It is to avoid unnecessary confusion that we love handles 
 to our names. 
 
 XXVI. 
 
 Keeping a diary is more or less sporadic. Those of us who have 
 tried it appear to have outlived its usefulness. It is usually an unsatis- 
 factory alibi, and frequently is an accusing witness; besides which, it 
 might be awkward for either biographical or autographical use. Our 
 lives are less interesting to others than we fain would believe. 
 
 XXVII. 
 
 In thinking of "the gentle art of letter-writing," we naturally 
 exclude business and technical correspondence. Yellow-backed books of 
 the "perfect letter-writer" type are like dream oracles — they never ring 
 true except by accident. A good letter is not so much dependent upon 
 orthography, grammar or logic as upon the ability to write clearly and 
 frankly as you think. Above all. it ought to be a photographic repro- 
 duction of your personal characteristics. It ought not to require your 
 signature for identification. 
 
 XXVIII. 
 
 It is a blessed privilege — rarely exercised — to be able to see the 
 other side. Those of us who think, form opinions and pronounce judg- 
 ments ought to be able to look into the other fellow's back yard — not 
 
 8 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 overlooking the mess in our own. Human experience is, on the aver- 
 age, pretty much the same, but the effect of it is vastly different, making 
 for good or ill. as we have a sense of proportion and comparison. 
 
 XXIX. 
 
 Catching trains, as the phrase goes, is expressive of a whole gamut 
 of human psychology. To arrive too early, too late or just in the nick 
 of time, that is the question; and, when you do get there in time, to 
 have the ticket-window blocked by a person who ought to take a course 
 of study in the Bureau of Information, is excusably exasperating. 
 If trains had a propensity for leaving ahead of time, as they have in 
 the matter of being late, many of us would lament the progress of 
 science; others would insist upon having missionaries at local stations 
 instead of the far-off corners of the world where there are no trains. 
 
 Railroad schedules (when you can manage to get hold of one) 
 remind you of the Integral Calculus tables which so infernally bothered 
 your college days. It's all very well when you are going on a lark, but 
 when you're bound on a sober business mission or paying a visit to 
 disagreeable relatives, it is not fair to vex the soul and still be obliged 
 to pav for the privilege. 
 
 XXX. 
 
 The ever-advancing progress in mechanical sciences will some day 
 bring to perfection the "smoke catcher," and the nuisance which arises 
 from production stands fair to be eliminated to the advantage of repro- 
 duction. The art of gloom-making is, in these days, enjoying unwonted 
 prosperity. It would require more than ordinary statesmanship to dissi- 
 pate the pessimistic clouds which hang low over the world's area. It 
 required a flood to right wicked conditions in Scriptural times. Shall 
 civilization fail to restore the rainbow of optimism without a cataclysm? 
 Rain has ever been followed by sunshine, but selfishness must be re- 
 pressed in order to obtain that clear vision which enables one to see 
 the iridescent coloring growing out of a happy combination of these 
 natural elements in this beautiful world of ours, given to us to make 
 for the betterment of even the lowliest among us. It would seem as 
 if the world was "all right," but we cannot be so sure about the people 
 
 in it. 
 
 XXXI. 
 
 The tendency of the Bourgeoisie class to dine in palatial public 
 places, so that they may see and be seen, is unhealthy, both from a 
 social and physical point of view. "Keep the home fires burning" is as 
 essential in peace as in war. The kitchens of our grandmothers have 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 become the kitchenettes of to-day — now presided over by an autocrat 
 who could give many points of preference to a Hohenzollern and beat 
 him at the game. Ireland and our Suffragettes want "Home Rule," 
 only in different fashion. It would appear as if freedom and independ- 
 ence still required work and sacrifice. 
 
 XXXII. 
 
 Habits are like straightjackets, not easily doft'ed, though they 
 require no Keeper. We frequently distinguish between good and bad 
 habits, more often than not, without rhyme or reason. The citizen of 
 the world, as the result of travel and experience, amiably adapts himself 
 to the varying customs of those among whom he happens to be sojourn- 
 ing. Simple habits might well accord with habits of the simple. The 
 best of us gradually come to know that as habits encroach upon us they 
 become a nuisance to others. W^earing them only for self-indulgence 
 is a form of beneficence. 
 
 XXXIII. 
 
 "Strap Hangers" are, on the average, philosophic, long-suft'ering 
 creatures. Barely do they have time to do more than cast a wistful eye 
 at the auto whizzing by. To many it seems better than "back to the 
 farm" with its lonesome loneliness which the Flivver has more than 
 relieved. The rush hours of sunrise and sunset are things of the past. 
 Restricted working hours, combined with "time and half time." have 
 contrived to change th.e peak load. The Grand Army of Labor now 
 rushes past "the whining schoolboy * * * creeping like a snail, 
 unwillingly to school," where he must continue past the age of puberty; 
 and if progression counts for anything and he is emancipated, he may 
 loll a bit longer and still ])e in time for his work-a-day. 
 
 "The darkest hour is just before the dawn," was crystallized long 
 before "Daylight Saving" was made effective by law. Like the "Twi- 
 light Zone," sunrise is a land one rarely visits. With curtailed hours 
 of labor, we are not likely to be caught napping. 
 
 XXXIV. 
 
 To "dwell under your own vine and fig tree," was the ancient 
 idea of the promotion of all the social virtues. In these days, when 
 "Home, Sweet Home" evokes regretful memories, we are naturally 
 remitted to hotels and other public dining places for our daily bread, 
 eaten with thankfulness, and carry away mementoes and souvenirs ac- 
 counting for the missing "linen and silver" which the avaricious propri- 
 
 10 
 
A CENTURY OF O BS K R V AT I O N S 
 
 etor insists upon the innocent and guilty, alike, paying for. Surely these 
 are not the sins whicli the decalogue had in view. What's the use of 
 any longer cultivating the vine? And iigs do not grow on thistles — 
 neither is our land permitted to flow with milk and honey. 
 
 xxxw 
 
 Mascots, like soldiers' pets, ought to be tethered in the o])en — 
 close proximity l)reeds a herd of infections: hut when you contem])iate 
 the Jonahs who have beset you in your life, you are tempted to regret 
 that the age of miracles has passed ; you may even deplore the decadence 
 of the whaling industry on your fishing trips. 
 
 XXXVI. 
 
 The amount of injustice done by some men to their heirs is often 
 ]:»rovoking even to bystanders. !Many a dollar injudiciously s])ent might, 
 with the slightest forethought, be readily saved for post-morten ])'ar- 
 poses. In the organization of new societies to promote the moral uplift 
 this thought has been religioush' neglected. 
 
 XXXVII. 
 
 It is far from beneficial to keep a frisky horse in the stable — 
 so with Sunday Athletic Sports — whenever they are legalized they will 
 be seemly. 
 
 We are all apt to regard moral, social, religious and political re- 
 formers as more or less pestiferous. Hence we shall all be happv and 
 contented when this nagging race will have perished from the face of 
 God's green earth, making the path of duty lie clear and unobstructed 
 to our view. 
 
 XXXVIII. 
 
 Funerals are as often comic as they are tragic. Much depends upon 
 the religious service or the absence of it; the attitude of the chief 
 mourners and the number of those who really want to go to the place 
 of interment for the sake of the departed, or wdiether the attendance 
 is for the sake of a pleasant ride on a pleasant day, or, as sometimes 
 happens, to take advantage of the opportunity to look after a lonely 
 grave or a family mausoleum. Since it became fashionable to "Please 
 omit flowers," the florist has been busier than ever, and now and then 
 the truth regarding the deceased is fearlessly uttered. To so live as to 
 leave a happy memory, grateful survivors of those who have known 
 and loved the departed, is more than equivalent to the finest obsequies 
 ever held. 
 
 11 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 XXXIX. 
 
 It is a thousand pities that one may not as readily change racial 
 marks as we can our names. It is difficult to disguise alien ancestry. 
 To be Black, Yellow or Semitic, etc., is to encounter the unearned 
 increment of prejudice, the growth of more generations than is stated 
 by the Mosaic Dispensation to be the Statute of Limitations for the 
 descendants of those who do not love the Lord. 
 
 XL. 
 
 Hicrosolynia Est Perdifa (Jerusalem is destroyed) was the origin 
 of the Hep ! Hep ! of the fierce mobs which sought for centuries to 
 destroy the Sons of Jacob from the face of the earth. How vain were 
 their efforts, how false was their rallying cry, is attested by the capture 
 of the Holy City from the Turks by the English under Allenby. who 
 proclaimed and enforced civil and religious liberty and preserved invio- 
 late the sanctuaries and institutions of the motley array of inhabitants. 
 The Mosque, the Church and the Synagogue fared alike ; the quarrels 
 of the religious fanatics of every denomination were silenced ; law and 
 order were established in this land of promise, restored as the heritage 
 of all humanity. 
 
 XLI. 
 
 We exist in an era of drives. It began with William HohenzoUern 
 in an advance upon Belgium. Heaven alone knows when it will end. 
 The drivers are continuously recruited from the driven. The ig7i7s 
 fatuus of Society aspiration is the lure which at times seems to dim the 
 light of real charity. 
 
 Federal and State governments with their multitudinous bureaus 
 and regulations, inspections and reports are generously assisted by 
 vacations, strikes and lock-outs. 
 
 The world is busy swapping horses crossing the stream ; the constant 
 crack of the whip forces us perilously near the surging current and 
 diverts us from the safe landing. 
 
 XLII. 
 
 One can. imagine no more condign punishment than to be obliged 
 to "take in" the alleged Comic Section of the newspapers. At times it 
 seems as if the artist ( ?) as well as the publisher ought to be charged 
 with a deliberate attempt to desecrate the Sabbath, not to speak of the 
 di'^turbancc of mental balance occasioned on the lesser days. 
 
 12 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 XLIII. 
 
 Forensic eloquence is fast losing its charm. Stump-speaking as 
 once we knew it is being relegated to the limbo of the past. All things 
 make for the written and printed word, and even now the boasted 
 power of the press is succumbing to the moving picture. Leading and 
 misleading film artists and film poseurs are a bit popular and better 
 known than Hearst, Northclifi'e or Munsey. 
 
 Fight fans, Movie fans and Baseball fans are far more closely 
 related than would appear to the casual observer. They have many 
 traits in common, and many common traits. Dift'erences of opinion 
 must necessarily arise amidst their respective gatherings, only to be 
 eventually harmonized, though the methods differ. They all achieve 
 a language of their own. failing to understand which instantly fixes 
 your status as a rank outsider. One wonders Avhat the newspapers 
 would do without them. As a class, they arc great specialty readers ; 
 they know just where to find authentic news concerning their favorite 
 diversion — all other topics are banished. Inability to attend ihe exhibi- 
 tions to which they are attached is regarded as nothing short of a calam- 
 it^^ Their lives are spaced a thousand miles, according to their notions, 
 from mere humdrum existence. 
 
 XLIV. 
 
 The Muses emerged from Grecian mythology without a cootie. In 
 these days the parasitical influence of the Manager, the Bookincr Agent 
 and whatnot has a debasing eff'ect upon art. The artist and the pul)lic, 
 alike, suft'er from the predatory mercenary instincts of the purveyors. 
 Now and then, temperament is the avenging Nemesis, and we smile at 
 the worry and discomfort it causes, even though we are obliged to 
 share it. 
 
 By the way, which Muse has the film appropriated for its patron 
 saint? 
 
 XLV. 
 
 Doctrinal religion has evolved more superstition than all other 
 human forces combined. Ordained ceremonials have bent the knee and 
 beclouded the mind of man ever since Creation. No one can complain 
 that wide choice of mode and form of worship is denied. For all that, 
 fortune-telling flourishes to-day as it did in the days of Saul. Oracles 
 and soothsayers are still plentiful ; spiritual leaders, just as divinely 
 ordained as kings and emperors, are rampant and are ever seeking to 
 establish the latest triumph of one superstition over another. 
 
 13 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSE R V .ATIONS 
 
 XLVI. 
 
 The Organic Law of the United States provides that "no rehgious 
 test shall ever he required as a qualification to any office or public 
 trust." Likewise, that "Congress shall make no laws respecting an 
 establishment of religion." These sentiments are more or less forcefully 
 stated in the Constitutions of several States. Perhaps, in no other 
 country have these ideas of Jefferson been so ingrained in the body- 
 politic. It would seem as if it were intended that the Church should in 
 no respect dominate or influence political action, It would also seem 
 to indicate that if the Church were fully occupied with ministering 
 to the spiritual needs of its disciples, there would be no temptation to 
 meddle in civil affairs. The history of the past twenty centuries dem- 
 onstrates that the Church has been a retarding force. 
 
 The enlightening dawn of a new era came with the French Revo- 
 lution and our Federal Constitution. Shall we look backward and thus 
 gather new strength to go forward? Or shall we, by indirect legislation. 
 erect signposts at the doors of our churches to remind the masses that 
 there, and there alone, are life- and soul-saving: stations? It is greatly to be 
 feared that under such impulsion, the ranks of the faithful will not be mate- 
 rially strengthened. Faith must come from within, and even the most 
 fastidious will have no chance to complain of paucity of choice. 
 
 XLVII. 
 
 The fellow who asks for a lower berth in a sleeping-car and, per- 
 force of necessity, takes an upper, with the smiling remark, "There's 
 more air up there anyhow." may not be in line to inherit the Kingdom 
 of Heaven, but he will not have half the troul)le the camel had in trying 
 to pass through the eye of a needle. 
 
 "At night," says the old proverb, "all cows are black," and this was 
 remarked long before Pullman Sleepers were invented. Have you ever 
 had occasion to leave your berth, after the "lights were dim and low," 
 and endeavored to return, with a vague idea that you must be in the 
 vi^rong car, or perhaps that you cannot just recall your number, and 
 •the porter has fallen from the train or is asleep? Well, it's the same 
 kind of feeling you had when you bought a ticket in the Louisiana 
 Lottery, in the good old Beauregard days— only the prospect of drawing 
 the capital prize seemed far brighter in the latter than in the former 
 contingency. 
 
 14 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 XLYIII. 
 "Ignorance of the law" excuses no one — but a judge, a lawyer or 
 a member of the bar. 
 
 XLIX. 
 
 It is written that "In a multitude of counselors there is safety," 
 and without attempting to question this hoary maxim, experience would 
 seem to justify the added thought that a counselor in time might, in 
 the aftermath, save nine. Free legal advice as presented in the column.s 
 of newspapers and periodicals, even "Every Man His Own Lawyer," is 
 usually worth less than the cost of these mediums, and frequently 
 proves most costly. 
 
 The high privilege of a Gentleman Learned in the Law is to 
 endeavor to adjtist disputes and lend a willing ear to compromises. 
 Courts of Jtistice ought to be the final resort of those whom fierce 
 litigiousness alone will satisfy, or where it is necessary to have an 
 attthoritative decree, required by the policy of the State or the estab- 
 lishing of a necessary precedent. 
 
 L. 
 
 "Truth crushed to earth will rise again," and now and then and 
 again, from the witness-stand. 
 
 Hectoring a witness is by no means an entirely safe method to 
 obtain favoral)le testimony. Due allowance is not always made for the 
 superiority of intellect exhibited by the witness as compared with exam- 
 ining Counsel. Direct truth, for obvious reasons, seldom emanates from 
 the witness-stand ; comparisons and deductions usually establish facts. 
 Courtesy to an adverse witness is a disarming process. A close student 
 of human nature can usually master the mind of the most refractory, but 
 on judgment Day. Othello's occupation will be gone, and lawyers wnll 
 again attest the fact that they make the most unreliable witnesses. 
 
 LI. 
 The term "vested rights" has lost its one-time sacred significance. 
 One short decade has destroyed the iM-ecedents of centuries. The speed 
 traveled by notions of pul)lic right as compared with private ownership, 
 would seem to lead us back to Scriptural days, with its Sabbatic Year. 
 One must, of course, make allow^ance for the time it would take to move 
 one's habitation and garage to those of his distant neighbor. Good roads 
 and ever-speedier motor cars might tend to simplify the problem, and 
 septennial tenure of office might tempt legislative enactment. 
 
 15 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 LII. 
 
 In the impending social revolution there will be no room for the 
 legal profession. Like an echo from the past comes the merry quip 
 of Jack Cade's Rebellion, "Let's kill all the lawyers." 
 
 If you have a bright, ambitious son, do not seek to have him become 
 a lawyer — rather equip him with a legal education, so that he may acquire 
 the technique of the profession ; then may his brawny arm flourish an 
 axe or other useful tool, taking pains to conceal the sheepskin diploma 
 with a leathern apron, so that no longer shall "parchment, being scrib- 
 bled o'er . . . undo a man" ; have him join the ranks of organized 
 labor, and tell the Walking Delegate or Executive Head how to formu- 
 late demands, and soon he will possess the inheritance which the Lord 
 promises to the highly gifted. 
 
 LIII. 
 Law libraries are, for the most part, mausoleums of the wit of 
 Bench and Bar. Tombs are rifled for the promotion of unholy causes. 
 Sophistry and casuistry have played havoc with the rights of man. 
 Nero is said to have played an accompaniment to the destruction of 
 Rome. Some of us are whistling for another Justinian to frame a legal 
 code in accord with the spirit of the age. Meantime, we are a bit care- 
 less about the further preservation of hoary precedents and groaning 
 book shelves. 
 
 LIV. 
 
 Why longer urge the elimination of obey in the marriage cere- 
 mony? As long as it remains, it is a noble remnant of a virile past. 
 If the proposed amendment prevails, why not, while tinkering, place 
 the obligation where it now rightly belongs and force timid man to do 
 that which is his fore-ordained doom. It will also be worth considering 
 whether it is necessary to change names ; and if found so to be, why 
 should the bride be charged with this ignominious badge of servitude? 
 Marriages beyond our national frontiers will have significance unless 
 it is desired that matrimony shall be a dry afifair from its initial stage. 
 
 LV. 
 Though we walk through the valley of widowers, yet we fear no 
 evil, iot the sunshine of the widow — without which there can be no 
 shadow — is ever with us. 
 
 LVI. 
 No one can truthfully deny but that giant strides have been made 
 in the last quarter of a century in the relations of employer and employe, 
 
 16 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 favoring the man and limiting the asserted powers of the master. The 
 only question that remains is, whether progress has not been a bit too 
 rapid, so that entire subversion of the social fabric may be at hand with- 
 out a workable substitute in sight? It takes a lot of time to remedy the 
 destructive force of an earthquake or a cyclone. The reconstruction 
 period involves the creation of new social phases, inevitably based upon 
 eternal principles of right and wrong, when industry will not be con- 
 founded with agitation and energy leveled by the slothful. 
 
 LVII. 
 
 We have come to know that the many processes incident to the 
 manufacture of ammunition and other implements of war is a degen- 
 erating influence. The difference between the man who makes the hand- 
 grenade and the soldier who carries it "Over the Top" in the face of the 
 enemy, is no disadvantage to the latter, and turned out to be a distinct 
 detriment to the former. This inequality is not only produced bv the 
 respective rates of pay and hours of service, but also by the lack of 
 harmony in sentiment evolved. 
 
 LVITT. 
 
 Until it receives a severe jolt, the value of a dollar will continue 
 to decrease. The rising percentage of the cost of labor may be checked 
 by the Income Tax when all those who are earning their living, as dis- 
 tinguished from employers, will acquire the dignity of becoming tax- 
 payers. If the masses achieve this result — and we are fast approaching 
 it — taxation and representation will go hand in hand. 
 
 LIX. 
 
 The right, liabilities and duties of citizens, as well as many divisions 
 of the Government, in the event of dispute, must be submitted to com- 
 pulsory arbitrations by Courts of Jiistice. Disagreements between em- 
 ploye and employer are referred to the tender mercies of Conciliation 
 Commissions, in an atmosphere of strikes and lockouts, largely sustained 
 by violence on the one hand and arbitrary action on the other. The 
 nation which first enforces working conditions governed by decrees based 
 upon impartial justice will be the saviour of mankind, and will be an 
 admirable adjunct to the "League of Nations." thus eliminating armies, 
 navies, walking delegates and predatory capital at one fell swoop. 
 
 LX. 
 
 Efficiency has come to be a recognized science, depending for its 
 success upon the unfettered, justly rewarded worker. Mere statements 
 of principles of economic saving and advancing progress will not suffice 
 
 17 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 — there must be an inspired man behind the gun. enHsted for the sake 
 of the Cause, in love with his work and assured of recognition. The 
 Huns and Vandals of industry are vigilant enemies ; they must be smoked 
 out of the trenches before the banner of increased and increasing pro- 
 duction can be hung upon the outer walls of Labor's citadel. 
 
 Even co-operative trading and profit sharing require a manager and 
 accoiuitant. Very few animals can be taught to work automatically — 
 the human being never. Cash registers require a cliangc department, 
 and you do hear of comptometer girls. The Patent Office is filled with 
 devices to escape the trammels of existence, but perpetual motion has 
 thus far eluded our ingenuity. 
 
 LXI. 
 
 Vacation time grows in extent and apparent necessity as the work- 
 day becomes less strenuous. In the "Good Old Summer Time" of the 
 long ago, it varied from a day to a week ; now there isi no limit, either 
 as to time or season. Progressive decrease in working hours and days 
 will soon relieve Legislatures from decreeing legal holidays — every day 
 will l)e a holiday. The popularity of the old song. "Everybody Works 
 But Eather." will then 1)e Init a fleeting memory — perhaps then, even 
 fathers will cease to be fashionable. 
 
 LXIL 
 
 "Preparedness" has lost its charm. "Profiteering" has usurped its 
 place. It is assumed that Capital is responsible. If so. Labor is a handy 
 accomplice. At least, there is some semblance of law to curb the 
 monopolistic tendencies of the former ; there is express exemption for 
 the latter. It brings forcibly into the limelight the lack of courage of 
 our public officials, not the least of the evils which assail a democracy. 
 The vicious circle is daily narrowing, awaiting the leader whose slogan 
 will be "A plague upon both vour Houses." Equality before the law 
 must be the inevitable result. 
 
 LXIII. 
 
 The theory which would place public utilities under Government 
 control and ownership would be greatly helped — and God knows it 
 needs help — if those who were charged with administrative duties, from 
 the humblest clerk to the highest paid official, were imbued with altru- 
 istic notions. After all. these workers are human beings, taken from 
 the mass who are on the outside and pay the bills. The other fellow 
 
 18 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSER\ ATIONS 
 
 is on the inside and thinks he is an absohite necessity to the public, 
 who are ever striving to get within the confines of the magic circle. 
 
 LXIV. 
 
 Henry George first located and defined the long existing "unearned 
 increment." Prior to his discovery and ever since the Nation, the 
 State, the City and all the inhabitants thereof, have pursued this will- 
 o'-the-wisp with varying success. 
 
 Caught, trained and put into your bank account, the unearned 
 increment is most charming; to see another fellow corral it is disgust- 
 ing. Penalized into the cofi^ers of the Community, we are enabled to 
 scoff and jeer and tightly Initton up our own trousers' pockets. 
 
 LXV. 
 Many thousands of foreigners originally intending to permanently 
 settle in this Country liave inaugurated an exodus to their native homes. 
 A continuance of this tide of travel l)odes ill for economic conditions, 
 already in woeful sha]:)e. The reasons given for this serious departure 
 range from pr(>hil)ition to high-cosi-of-living. Here we face an addi- 
 tional, altogether abnormal, problem. It is alleged that these foreigners 
 will never become Americanized. So. it might have been thought of 
 the party landing from the Mayflower and the millions who have since 
 journeyed to these sliores, for the most part to seek the Ijenefits flowing 
 from hfe in a voimg and vigorous Democracy. Now that we have 
 grown a bit older, we have shed much of our l)oasted freedom and 
 equality. A strong federal government, heightened by tlie aid of an 
 odious intrenched linreaucracy ; an increasing multiplicity of laws and 
 regulations perforce, induces the thought that autocracy on the other 
 side of the Atlantic being exterminated, personal freedom is in the 
 ascendancy, and living conditions there will compare most favorably 
 with the small-necked tyrannv of the minority here. The fires which 
 stirred the contents of the "Mehing Pot" and heretofore produced a 
 l)oasted fusion now appear to be smoldering. We must see that new 
 courage is injected into ''Old Boreas." 
 
 LXVI. 
 It would require more than a Presidential Message to Congress 
 to reproduce a "Alarriage Feast at Canna" in this peace-ridden country 
 of ours. 'AA'ar-time prohibition" to the accompaniment of "trading 
 with the enemy" would fairly shake with laughter the fat sides of the 
 most respectal)le of Roman Augers. 
 
 19 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 LXVII. 
 
 Pro-German propaganda and the Brewers' Fund have achieved 
 mighty and unexpected resuks, but where did the sinews of war come 
 from to combat the treason mongers who sought ostensibly to preserve 
 our personal liberties ? We sit and slowly sip our cola-coca, lost in 
 thought, bankrupt in mind, and untimately drain our cup of humiliation. 
 
 LXVIII. 
 
 The sunny Southland, with States' Rights banners flung to the lazy 
 breeze, reluctantly dips its colors to the half-mast. Acceptance of the 
 results of the Civil War. with a myriad of evasions, has driven it into 
 the lap of Prohibition and Federal enforcement, which bids fair to 
 rouse again the sentiments for which their statesmen plead and their 
 best citizens fought and sutTered and died. 
 
 LXIX. 
 
 The unrest in the Balkans, the unruly attitude of the smaller 
 nations whom we seek to accord autonomy, seems to beget slight sym- 
 pathy in the American public. The races most intimately concerned 
 are very foreign to us. and we have little patience with their views. 
 It is asserted that a majority of our people favoring Prohibition seek 
 to make world-wide application of their doctrines — why not make a 
 beginning on the other side with those whom we know and care for 
 the least? The only risk would be the betterment of conditions for 
 alien races, and the de-alcoholization of their policies. It is n-ot likely 
 that these countries will refuse to rise the passports of such "dry" 
 missionaries we would be glad to send them. 
 
 LXX. 
 
 "Keep the taverns closed" will soon cease — perhaps has already 
 ceased — to be the favorite slogan of those who have hitherto regarded 
 it as the surest preventive of epidemics', race riots, car strikes, mine 
 lockouts, auto accidents, cold, sober daylight hold-ups, and other like 
 evils. 
 
 LXXI. 
 
 "Heatless," "Lightless." "Meatless" days deserve a bit of compen- 
 sation, and we shall have many "Drinkless" days in which to think it 
 all over. 
 
 LXXII. 
 
 It is an old-time query, "Where do the flies come from?" "Where 
 do the pins go to?" So now, "drinking songs" will vanish from litera- 
 ture. Another generation will know neither Pharoah nor Israel, and 
 
 20 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 the curiously wrought goblets and flagons will adorn the curio cabinet. 
 Flasks will be, w4ien found, presumptive evidence of guilt ; soothing 
 syrup will be administered in cocktail glasses ; the glass with a stem 
 will not longer be an iridescent inspiration ; the growler-can will be an 
 emblem of peace ; the mug will be hunted from its lair and High-balls 
 will be confined to the "World's Baseball Series." We confidently 
 predict and impatiently await a "Dry Edition of Holy Scriptures." 
 
 LXXHI. 
 
 The Recording Angel must, for centuries, have had a busy time 
 of it in noting the conduct of those who have constructed or are obliged 
 to travel over "bad roads." Ruts, detours, the absence of sign posts 
 are, alike, prolific of profanity. Wayside Inns with entertainment for 
 the traveler were as welcome as an oasis in a desert, and the revival 
 was attended with joy by all concerned. Just when they seemed 
 re-established came the withering "dry" blast, which must inevitably 
 result in eliminating even the inns where General Washington stopped 
 to take a drink. Great care must now be exercised in crossing State 
 lines, over the best of roads, with liquid refreshment in the exhilerator 
 of your auto; but the net result has already been noted in less speed, 
 absence of recklessness and avoidance of accident. It may well be 
 that in the course of another century the Heavenly record shop, wherein 
 are duly chronicled "Sins of the Road" — at least so far as it afifects 
 this Country — may be closed. If Americans are happy, why should 
 we concern ourselves about foreigners continuing on the road to destruc- 
 tion? 
 
 LXXIV. 
 
 We all long for the day to come when income taxes will cease to 
 bother our consciences and the "dry taxes" for State and municipal 
 purposes are increased high enough — as surely they will be to 
 dampen the ardor of the "Wets" and thus raze the moral standard 
 of the "Drvs." 
 
 LXXV. 
 
 Who shall be privileged to assert that the lazy, the vicious and 
 improvident men and women who are helped in their downward career 
 by intemperance and other evil habits will be cured by Constitutional 
 enactment ? 
 
 Prior to enforced prohibition this class formed but a small per- 
 centage of the entire community, and if the majority, particularly the 
 saintly portion thereof, were to expend the same amount of money, 
 zeal, enthusiasm and oratory they devote to restrictive legislation to 
 
 21 
 
A CENTURY OF OBS l- R V AT 1 ONS 
 
 the attempt to reclaim the fallen, the result would largely free them 
 from the burden which they so zealously assume. 
 
 LXXVI. 
 
 When the ladies have control of the Government in the near 
 future — as now seems reasonai)ly certain — national conventions will 
 formulate planks on the "High Cost of Living," which will have a 
 value far beyond anything mere man has as yet suggested. Varying 
 styles of garments, with every shift of a shiftless wind, will be tabooed. 
 Laces, frills and furbelows will be accorded exclusive use at official 
 receptions, the num1)er of which will be mightily reduced. Furs will 
 only be permitted in midwinter; domestic servants will be given half 
 holidays only on the days when Primary and General elections are 
 held, and on all other occasions men will be thoroughly drilled in house- 
 hold duties, and footwear will be regulated as to size, color and design, 
 by statute. Powder puiTs will be relegated to "first aid" kits and the 
 prevailing nonsense about one woman being permitted to look better 
 than another will be wholly exterminated. 
 
 LXXVIl. 
 Charity runs a losing race with patriotism in the numlier of sins 
 which it conveniently covers. A state of war is its great opportunity, 
 but it flourishes as well in time of peace, though not so obtrusively. 
 Many a citizen has been unexpectedly elected to high office by specious 
 appeals to the Flag, though at heart he is an unprincipled slacker. Our 
 latest hope for betterment in this respect lies in the "fair sex." who 
 will likely avail themselves of other political vestments. 
 
 LXXVIIL 
 
 The well-groomed man and the stylish woman would not last long 
 together in a dovecot. Vanity still continues to be the thing which 
 makes life worth living. Costume jealousy is rampant and increases 
 in the inverse ratio as toggery grows more scanty. 
 
 LXXIX. 
 
 The poor downtrodden Farmer! "Far from the madding crowd,'" 
 he lives free from the taint of guile which is ever infecting the urbanite. 
 
 Tilling the soil, no longer required to save daylight, his thrifty 
 Soul is engaged with problems of costly import to the rest of us. He 
 claims and acquires exemption from legislation on economic subjects. 
 Like Newton, he watches the apple as it falls, wraps it carefully in 
 tissue paper, trundles it to market, with no special theory of gravita- 
 tion — all other mortals stand by and watch him grow. 
 
 22 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 LXXX. 
 
 Federalization is on tiie way to giving the Domestic Relations' 
 Court a prominence which its warmest advocates failed to predict. Soon 
 it will be the last resort of the "States' Rights" patriot. 
 
 LXXXI. 
 
 It is curious to observe of the two great political parties' in this 
 Country that they are opposed to the increase of Federal power as 
 they happen to be in the opposition. The seeds of destruction, however, 
 are planted in the usual rotation in office, illustrating the maxim — 
 "Last year's luxuries are this year's necessities." 
 
 LXXX II. 
 
 In this democracy of ours there is no truer saying than that 
 "Politics make strange bed fellows." This miscegenation more often 
 than not produces fantastic misbegotten shapes, having little regard for 
 the pul)lic weal. The prevalent thought seems to be that there is as 
 little honesty to be hoped for in politicians as in plumbers or lawyers. 
 It is the wise politician who does not adhere selfishly to party principles. 
 He is an exception ; the balance always lurk in the ambuscade of pos- 
 sible change. 
 
 LXXXIII. 
 
 The executives of metropolitan cities are accustomed to finding 
 the office a political graveyard. Proxinfity to the voter does not "lend 
 enchantment to the view." A grim determination to cleanse the Augean 
 stable is never prolific of success. Extempore talk of policies is as 
 futile as a gas attack with notice to the enemy. Creating with patronage 
 a partisan, political backing is as dangerous as standing on the brink of 
 Niagara and allowing its fascinating influence to overpower your nor- 
 mal thought of "Safety First." In fact, the recipe for the making of 
 a Mayor who will merge triumphant to higher place and greater regard, 
 is still in the brewing — one might almost be tempted to say — in the 
 Witch's cauldron, so mysterious and powerful must be the concoction. 
 
 LXXXIV. 
 
 Of all the evils inflicted upon the body politic, the demagogue is 
 the most atrocious. Self-seeking for self-interest, he is filled with 
 sordid ability to influence the masses to their detriment — always for 
 destructive, never for constructive, purposes. In a way he is selling 
 something which costs him nothing to produce, for the highest price 
 which his glib tongue and false pretense can induce the community to 
 pay. Martyrdom usually overtakes those who denounce him, and when 
 
 23 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 truth finally prevails, he rarely receives the punishment which he so 
 richly deserves. Occasionally he becomes a convert of his own views, 
 and then he is doubly dangerous. 
 
 LXXXV. 
 
 In a representative government the initiative and referendum are 
 a confession of weakness which by no means reaches the primary 
 defect of real lack of choice. The same "boss" whom you allow to 
 choose your Representative is more than likely to control the vote of 
 the people on measures of statecraft. Political bravery is sadly lack- 
 ing — political brigandage is obnoxiously prevalent. Subserviency is 
 the strongest recommendation for political preferment. Organization, 
 which costs money and effort, usually controlled by scheming minds, is 
 the ])ane of the elector, who, occasionally struggles vainly against this 
 seemingly brute force, only to be overcome by the helplessness of the 
 situation. A patriotic boss is as rare as an oasis in a desert. 
 
 A considerable percentage of those who declaim the loudest against 
 the ills of government, fail to exercise the right of Suffrage. Every 
 citizen ought to be compelled to vote unless prevented by unavoidable 
 occurrence. It would lead to a more general scrutiny of the merits of 
 candidates, and greatly lessen the opportunities of political organiza- 
 tions in herding electors for indiscriminate balloting for men and meas- 
 ures of which the mass is profoundly ignorant. 
 
 LXXXVI. 
 
 Civic courage is fast waning, largely due tO' the methods of metro- 
 politan journals in their treatment of public matters having a political 
 trend. The policy of the paper, largely subservient to the views of the 
 owner, controls the circulation as well as the editorial departments, 
 both of which are engaged in good-natured rivalry to expand the output. 
 
 Abuse of public officials is so continuous as to have deadened the 
 effect upon readers. Coloring news to coincide with policy finds 
 pliant acceptance by reporters, with encouraging results in the inner 
 sanctum. One may be allowed to wonder what would be the effect 
 of an impartial appraisement of the acts of public officials — bestowing 
 praise whenever deserved, criticizing in a just spirit when required, and 
 treating fairly, unawed by public clamor, the acts of public utility cor- 
 porations. Selling to-morrow's paper today is merely the proverbial 
 straw. 
 
 LXXXVII. 
 
 The autocracy of the proletariat, now designated "Bolshevism," 
 is by no means the novelty which its most recent baptism would seem 
 
 24 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 to indicate. Tried by many races in various climes, it has always proved 
 an ultimate failure, with a mass of wreckage in its wake and a return 
 to sane equality as its sequel. Many and devious are the methods by 
 which it has sought to achieve a lodgment in this country, but as yet 
 without success. The number and power of our middle class is the 
 bulwark upon which the radical, the desperate, the vicious and the 
 theorist will hurl themselves in vain. In this contest organized lal^or, 
 with extreme and unconscionable demands, may yet find its graveyard. 
 
 LXXXVIIT. 
 
 The Red Flag is the symbol of anarchy; the color of "grape juice." 
 diplomacy is akin. Both are claimed to be public evils. The former, 
 as yet. appeals to a limited number, while the latter has been so effective 
 that it has visibly increased the followers of the former, with vanishing 
 beneficial results. 
 
 LXXXIX. 
 
 Vox populi — vox Dei might prove true in a religious world filled 
 with sanctified inhabitants. The Holy Scriptures attest the fact that 
 the trials of the rtilers of a theocracy were many and vexatious, and 
 ultimately led to destruction. In this materialistic age the masses 
 seem to fear neither "God, man or the Devil." Up and down our 
 fair land are howling dervishes seeking whom they may lead astray, 
 with the promise of a libertine's license. The Scylla of Bolshevism 
 facing the Charybdis of arrogant, brutal w^orkers, leaves a mighty nar- 
 row way for the voice of God to penetrate the consciousness of His 
 people. 
 
 XC. 
 
 There are so many "Cradles of Liberty" extant that one may 
 express surprise that the nations are not. long ago, in possession of 
 perfect freedom. In this comparatively new Country of ours, in addi- 
 tion to Philadelphia, we have the claims of Boston and Mecklenburg 
 to consider. After all. the little wicker basket containing the infant 
 Moses, floating down the Nile, was a sort of harbinger. 
 
 XCI. 
 Prior to the "World War" it was esteemed by the thoughtful that, 
 owing to the progress made in the methods of transportation. National 
 boundaries and frontiers were fast being eliminated and we were on 
 the high road to internationalism. The Treaty of Versailles, with its 
 recognition of the rights of small nations, seems to have exceptionally 
 stranded the Semite and the Celt. Once again these dissimilar races 
 
 25 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 find themselves united by a common misery. Oh ! for the valorous 
 Gideon's band or the victorious leadership of Brian Boru. 
 
 XCIT. 
 
 Breach of faith is still among the definitions accorded to treason, 
 although it is not presently regarded legally as a crime against the State. 
 If strikes by public officials and employes and the operators of neces- 
 sary public utility corporations are permitted to continue and increase, 
 as now seems likely, it must soon result in extending the legal signifi- 
 cance of the term so that we may escape anarchy. The base of the 
 pyramid, upon which rests social order and security, must not be per- 
 mitted to be wrenched from its foundation by loading the apex until 
 the entire structure totters to ultimate fall. 
 
 XCIII. 
 
 We have grown so accustomed to taking a survey of the world's 
 doings at the breakfast table and to incessant confirmation on every 
 conceivable topic in periodicals and mag"azines, that one may well ponder 
 over the effect of a sudden stoppage of such publications. Life would 
 indeed be dreary, and under such conditions likely to be panicky. Every 
 idle rumor would be exaggerated, only to be met by ignorance of facts. 
 One may well shudder to contemplate the possibilities. It would not 
 be beyond the ken of radicals and anarchists to prevent the dissemina- 
 tions of news and authentic information. Until the restoration of normal 
 conditions it will be the duty of sturdy citizenship to cry out "Watch- 
 man, what of the hour?" with a grim determination to guide and guard 
 our institutions in order to preserve the latest hope of mankind. 
 
 XCIV. 
 
 The kind of assurance which "makes doul)ly sure" is as potential 
 as insurance fathered by the State. Formerly it was the lightning-rod 
 man who symbolized the thought ; now it is the publicity agent who 
 makes and unmakes the "Who's Who," and when you tell him "What's 
 What" satisfactorily, holds the ladder for you while you climb to 
 fame and fortune. He is the envy of the Walking Delegate. 
 
 If our self-appraisement of service became its real market value, 
 it would doubtless be open to the objection of "too much water." Cor- 
 porations are composed of people with sinister ideas of value. To pay 
 for "good-will" seems to the purchaser a species of imposition, but of 
 course much depends upon the interested point of view. In the coming 
 
 26 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 socialized Utopia, there will be neither barter nor sale ; distribution 
 will wait upon exchange, and the ancient admonition to "seize life ener- 
 getically," will have lost its charm. 
 
 XCV. 
 Arrogant dogmatism is never attractive except to single-track 
 minds. In its presence one is tempted to agree with that iconoclast. 
 Samuel Butler, when he declares that "Hard and Fast lines ever cut 
 the fingers of those who draw them." 
 
 XCVI. 
 
 The stories told of Samson and Absalom well illustrate the truth 
 of the old saw "What is one man's meat is another man's poison." 
 The fate which ultimately befell these Scriptural characters should be 
 a solemn warning to all long-haired agitators. 
 
 Crusades have ever been failures, although the historic influence 
 of those first attempted has been by no means contemptible. Under 
 its borrowed plumage, vast as well as petty schemes have been launched. 
 If success had attended a tithe of them, angels would no longer have 
 been confined to the sterner sex. The world would be one vast camp 
 of crowns, harps and spotless robes, the then ordinary vestments of 
 all mankind. Revivalists have come and gone, leaving faint traces upon 
 the sands of time. 
 
 XCVII. 
 
 The phrase. "Tell your troubles to the policeman" has more virtue 
 in it than would appear at first glance. Not that anyone cares ofifhand 
 to trouble a policeman. Keeping your thoughts to yourself is not 
 always wise ; having an intimate friend or confidant serves many a 
 timely purpose. 
 
 Bufifers and shock absorbers add to duration, mileage and comfort. 
 We are far more wonderfully built than the most delicate machine. 
 Friendly counsel depends largely upon frank revelation; it must have 
 been the milk upon which Methuselah fed. 
 
 XCVIII. 
 Respect for age is a vanishing quantity, and with it the external 
 marks of advancing years are disappearing. Dress, modification of 
 habits and cleaner living, have all contributed to the change, and yet 
 there is probably nothing more agreeable to those who are nearing 
 life's ultimate goal than the little attentions of youth, which indicate 
 that usefulness has not been outlived. 
 
 27 
 
A CENTURY OF OBSERVATIONS 
 
 XCIX. 
 
 Oh, thou youth, ever fair and insidious to those who dwell in 
 the twihght zone of allotted age ! We summon thee to the har of 
 reason ; we arraign, indict and acquit thee, with vmfailing regularity ; 
 thy faults and follies forgotten and forgiven. It w-arms the cockles of 
 our heart to restore thee to supreme place in our innermost thoughts. 
 
 C. 
 
 When the pearly gates swing ajar at sound of the last trump, the 
 motley procession entering will comprise every race and color. Aye! 
 even the adherents of all creeds — the lowly sparrow will chirp and hop 
 along; Radicals and Conservatives will jostle with each other for place, 
 carrying emblazoned banners with neither epigram nor aphorism con- 
 cerning rights or wrongs, but all inscribed with the motto "Hail to our 
 restored heritage of Fraternity." 
 
 28 
 
l_j.Dl\Mni wr \*uii«rv