"^^^''^-'y"^ %**^-'^o^ ■*'^,'':^'\^^'^ "o^^^-'^o^ '^<.^'*^-\-?.'«'' "V*^- f' .°-'*. •- ^o,'*r^\/ %*^-*%o^ 'V'»^\^'fr^ '\*^-*/ '^^^•^^\^'«''^ %*^-', V ♦.To" .^* o, •.,->•* aO V ♦irT' ^ o ♦.,,•» .0 V • ^*'% •.^•- ./% '«•• , /'** :- V t*' '^'r* ■O' o ^ •ft. «. ♦ « 8v^ . • *rj^ A* *d o^ • "oV" V v^ ^ • ■^^ * AT 'it. ■> flf .^^-^Oi ?^%o^ V^V %*^^/ V^^\/ %*^^/ V^*/ "^. 0* .--^.-^O, ^^<»> <^°^ ^^-^^^ .;• **'\ •*..i^:i'. fe^. ♦<"T7r'' A -c^ 'c,-:* .6*- V ♦7f!Ti A ''^ ♦ill'. 50*w '«!? '•**/ V^^\«* %*^-'*/ V^^\*'" %*^^**/ *^^'^i^\/ "- V^°^ ay \ ''^s ^'^ ^^ "•^** /\ •.^^' / -"^ °-^* /\. '.UK- ^'^ -^^^ °»>^^'^/ .^ 0^ / s HRU rr. — ■■.'"■;i»'i*7;«'»l' '■ -■■ '1 ^^■r-M |y|j,yffi.t"-fjjH|^i|aiii V'-'r - ^^hhh > ■"' - ' - ■^ "^ ■ ■ V.-.ii">^ ,^, ; ■ -,. .^kM g^g^g '" ■ : ^ s*-^ HippiPf ^?aH * J 1 1 IhI^ ^_^' ^H 1 ■ ■U| > 9 0}, "Scattering lambiencies ' See page ; II KRU A DEPARTURE STANLEY OLMSTED JAMES CRICHTON WILLIAM CLARKE ILLUSTRATKD BY JAMES CRICHTON WASHINGTON THE NEALE PUBLISHING COMPANY 451 ELEVENTH STREET MCMIII II I Two ( \j 'Copyright, 1903, by Stanley Olmsted and James Crichton IV *THIS IS THE FIRST ISSUE OF A SERIES TO APPEAR AT INTERVALS OF TWO OR THREE MONTHS. EACH OF THESE ISSUES WILL POSITIVELY BE LIMITED TO FIVE HUNDRED AUTOGRAPHED COPIES, AT THE PRICE OF TWO DOLLARS EACH, OF WHICH THIS IS NUMBER J^^ * The plates of my illustrations for this issue have been destroyed, — James Crichton. mCRODUCCORV The world is insane. Tiie proof of this assertion is that all who read what 1 write will declare that I am insane. Now, it is a well known fact that lunatics always believe that they are sane, and that all who are different from them are insane. Therefore, the declaration of the world that I am insane only proves the world's insanity. Having thus logically and etfectuallv , substantiated and proved my major proposition, 1 will proceed with the deductions : The world, being incapacitated, by insanity, for self-government, I, from the generosity of my soul, hereby constitute and appoint myself its guardian and keeper; undertaking the exclusive control and responsibility for its welfare. In support of my claims I am willing to produce divine credentials. But the world will not respect such papers, being insane, and I shall therefore dispense with this formality, and proceed at once upon the duties of my stewardship. As a preliminary step in my administration of the world's acts, I desire to correct a number of popular errors, which the world, in its insanity, has permitted to develop. The first is — The folly of living. As I proceed in my task, I must take frequent occasion to remind my readers that they VI are lunatics. Therefore let them restrain any inclination to receive my words in jest, or without serious consideration ; always remembering their Umacy- Being a man of such piercing intellectuality that nothing less than perfection satisfies me, I aim to cure the defects of the world at one master-stroke. I therefore advise the world to die. In addition to advising death, 1 command it. Now, nervous lunatics, do not get excited — remembering your lunacy. My reasons for my advice are these : Your ideas of religion are wrong. Therefore, die; because dead lunatics can nut have erroneous ideas. Even a lunatic can understand the truth of this. Your ideas of happiness are wrong. Therefore, die. Because dead lunatics have no ideas. You do not know when you are unhappy ; and sometimes entertain the delusion that you are contented when you are miserable, though ignorant of your state. Which is unfortunate. Therefore, die. Because dead lunatics have no false ideas of happiness. You are wrong in everything. Therefore, die. Because death is right ; and dead lunatics are no longer insane. But do not Any of you die before 1 finish. Because 1 insist upon having readers. And also there are other reasons for postponement. The only persons in the world who are sane are V I 1 myself and my co-editors. Therefore, we three, alone, shall live. But we hate work ; and a world encumbered with dead lunatics would be dis.agreeable; and we renig at the prospect of buryinj; the world. Therefore, die gradually. Let those who die first be buried by their temporary survivors, to save us work. Then let the survivors die — always gradually ; and let the undertakers bury them. Then let the undertakers die gradually : each being buried by his friend; until but three undertakers remain. Then let the three die — and we will perform the rites for them ; or let them drown themselves. The world will then be perfect. My plan, in its simplicity, is such that even lunatics can grasp it. But as the process must be gradual, I desire to set forth certain rules of conduct to govern those lunatics who temporarily survive their predecessors, who are most fortunately at ease in death. The future will bring forth these rules. In the meantime, lunatics, begin to die. And thus renounce lunacy. VIII scjincev oehiscgd I X cunji Driven of destiny, Scattering lambiencies, White, cloven tongue of the hour after eve- Struggling for" speech From a seat midst the Heavens ! Belittling haste, Laboring breath 'Gainst the push of the clouds, 'Gainst the tide of the winds ! Illumined of thee, mumble flaccid lips, Drained of kisses. Bastards of genius Wistfully toss through the dream of their heritage Lighted of thee, Mauve-one and Luminous, XI I r.cr Inutile fumbler of devastations Skulking o'er wastes through the slain ; Ashily mute, yet conjuring thither Speech of the poet — He who would fain Lay his jaded cheek against the sky By thine ! Eyes grown yellow like sulphur, dilate Neath thy blear and thy blur ; And into the heavy midnight sleep Thou stalkest. Or creepest. Or crawlest, coiling The monstrous deceit Of thy portentous language of signs Round the brain,— Through the eyelid's vain seal of the sense,- O'er the soul. X I 1 White tist of death, Clenched midst the purple flowers of clouds Of the hour ere the dawn ! Xll! He who lives, learns. But he who learns wonders if it be worth while that he live. The ways of experience are dark, but the ways of inexperience are darker. A promise presents a radically different aspect and effect before and after taking. E. S. O. Prosperity does not alter man's character — it un- veils it. Chastity is like a heavy ornament, whose weight soon becomes irksome if worn by beauty. Married loves are like embalmed plants. J.C. Those who are happy deserve to he happy as a reward for being able to be happy. Happiness consists not in being wise, but in being otherwise. He who seeks happiness would do well to ignore his unhappiness. IV. H. C. XIV With arrogance whose power is intinite And lack of mercy liice the greed of earth, This all and aye bears as the weight which drives The heart-blood bursting into eyes of fire, Crushing the mass on mass until the end, And in the ruin only that survives Which knows Nirvana. William Clarke. XV MAY 23 1903 H 87 83 <. .^^ "-0 ^ O o V .^■^■' « <=v 1a atS" ' ■J* '-r^^^^- .0 .V" V ^o r^o^ ^°<. . ^ov^ "«« cl? 0^ »1*"» "^^^ '" ^t..^ •^^^^ ^ '•'^" .V q,. ♦r /'> V' ,.'.. •*;- ,0 1*^ . « • *• J''