»— . upwagjoar* EEN-ROOM EDITION OF COPYRIGHTED PLAYS The Club Friend OR A Fashionable Physician BY SYDNEY ROSENFELD THE DE WITT PUBLISHING HOUSE NEW YORK THE CLUB FRLEND OR A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN 2ln ©riQinal ComeDg in 3fouc Sets r SYDNEY ROSENFELD Author of ^*A Possible Case/' ''Imagination/^ **A House ol Cards/' "The Passing Show"; co-author of "The Senator"; adapter of ''The Two Escut- cheons," etc., etc THE DE WITT PUBLISHING HOUSE NEW YORK 1897 K rWn n^*— . •twlt) «'er /?.). FiLB. {Following her). And I am now in the house of her who twelve years ago — that is to say — who married. And then — what's-his-name ? — Oaks, is her father — no, husband. I am getting confused. For goodness sake, Mrs. F'/awley, how has this sudden revelation been made ? Mrs. F. Mr. Oaks invited you to dine here this evening. When Mrs. Oaks heard who you were, she had an attack of nerves, without letting Mr. Oaks know why, and your invi- tation as I have already told you, has been withdrawn. FiLB. Then I am now the invited but unwelcome vis- itor in the house of a gentleman who is my friend, a wife whose nerves I am too much for, and a sister with whom I am vainly striving to become acquainted. This is decidedly interesting. Mrs. F. I have done my duty in acquainting you with the circumstances. I am going — will you stay or will you come with me ? FiLB. As between communing with the furniture and enjoying your charming society, there is only one choice. {About to follow Mrs. F. off C). 1 OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 15 {Enter quickly Sylvia, 7?.). Syl. Oh. Mr. Filbert ! FiLB. Miss Oalcs. Syl. You are not going, are you } FiLB. (T^Mrs. F.). Ami.? Mrs. F. /am, {Starts io go up C). Syl. No, Mrs. Frawley, Evelyn wishes to see you. Mrs. F. Does she.? (Exit Mrs. Frawley znio Mrs. Oaks' rooju, R.). File. {FiJit/Z/ig himself alone with Sylvia). Good afternoon. Miss Oaks. Syl. Must you go } FiLB. {Not moving). Yes, I think so. I don't know why I should need the presence of Mrs. Frawley to justify my being in your company, but I feel like an intruder with- out her. Syl. Why should you ? FiLB. I hardly know — but the fact remains that I'm em- barrassed. Syl. Aren't you well ? FiLB. Not particularly. Syl. {Coming to him). Oh, that's too bad ! FiLB. Don't let that worry you. I'm never particularly well. Syl. What ails you ? FiLB. I think a general attack of hazel eyes and chestnut hair. Svi,. You are jesting. Mr. Filbert. {Going down 7?.). It's unkind of you to make fun of me like this. FlLB. {FoIlo7ving her). I shouldn't dream of such a thing. I'm in earnest — dead in earnest. {Awkward pause). Where's Mrs. Oaks? Syl. Shall I send her to you } 1 6 THE CLUB FRIEND; FiLB. By no means. Miss Oaks, I know I must appear irrational to you and that my manner must surprise you ; but I assure you after you have discovered the key to me, you U'ill find me quite sane. Syl. {Sitti/ig OH divaji, R.). Then do give me the key at once ! FiLB. I can't this minute. Syl. In that case we shall probably find it difficult to carry on an intelligent conversation. FiLB. Then don't let us try. What's the use of an in- telligent conversation ? Let's have one that is not intelli- gent. It will be much more original. Syl. Then why talk to each other. We can drivel to ourselves ! FiLB. Oh, that wouldn't be the same thing at all. It is the charm of the other's presence that makes the mere speaking of words enjoyable to each. Syl. How singular ! I never thought of that before. FiLB. That's because you never realized your own charm. Syl. You must stop saying these insincere things, Mr. Filbert. FiLB. {Earnestly). You have no right to call them in- sincere ; they are much more sincere than I can possibly tell you ; but some day. Miss Oaks, when I am laboring under a less confused idea of why I am here, I shall be able to con- vince you what an impression you have made upon me. {Enter Mrs. Frawley, R.). Mrs. F. {Crossing C). Mrs. Oaks is coming out to see you. FiLB. Indeed ! Syl. {Aside, rising). How awkward ! He was making such a lovely speech, and there's no telling what it might have led up to. {Goes up R.), OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 17 {Enter Mrs. Oaks. E.). Mrs. F. {Introducing). Mrs. Oaks, permit me to pre- sent to you my friend Mr. Stuyvesant Filbert. Mrs. O. {Extending- her hand). How do you do, Mr. Filbert ? FiLB. I am delighted, Mrs. Oaks. Mrs. F. I really must get home. Mr. Frawley will be indignant if I keep him waiting any longer. Good after- noon {Bows to all, and Exits, C. to L.). Mrs. O. Sylvia, find my thimble ! Syl. {Muttering). I'm sure she doesn't want her thim- ble, now ! Mrs. O. Sylvia! Syl. Yes, Evelyn. {To Mr. Filbert). You will ex- cuse me for a moment, Mr. Filbert .'' File. Certainly. That is — if necessary. (Mrs. O. starts R. to Syl.). Syl. Thimble, indeed ! {Exit Sylvia, 7?.). Mrs. O. Since we are to meet again, it is as well that we should meet without embarrassment, and so I take this op- portunity of welcoming you — as a friend of my husband — into my husband's house. {Extending her hand). FiLB. {Taking it). I thank you, Evelyn — I beg pardon, Mrs. Oaks. You always were tactful and charmingly direct. You have relieved me of considerable awkwardness. I might have been kept dangling about these premises for an indefinite period, but for your candor. Mrs. O. {Indicating divan R.). Do sit down, FiLB. May I ? {Crossing R.). Thank you. {Sits). It won't do to make me feel too much at my ease ; for it wouldn't be difficult for the old-time feeling i8 THE CLUB FRIEND; Mrs. O. {Sitting in armchair L. of him). Don't talk nonsense. It is many years since we met. Things have prospered with you ? FiLB. Amazingly. Mrs. O. How nice ! I like to hear of these nineteenth century Monte Cristos who make the world their own. I am sure you must have made yourself very popular at home. FiLB. Popular enough. Mrs. O. How lovely ! FiLB. {Extravagantly) . Not a bit ! It's all hollow mockery ! What is the benefit of a blaze of glory without, with a heart of ashes within ! What are the triumphs of wealth and popularity to the defeat of a heart overthrown ! Mrs. O. Do stop your nonsense ! File. That's twice you have said nonsense to me in two minutes. You haven't changed in these years. I never could make you understand how much I cared for you. When I would pour forth my molten passion to you, you would be counting the number of dots in my necktie. Mrs. O. That's because you never were serious. File. It seems to be my fate never to be taken seriously. Once give a man the reputation for levity, and it's the most difficult thing in the world for him to be credited with one grave emotion. I am constantly reminding myself of Punchinello in the song — Punchinello, the maddest, merriest fellow, even when his heart is breaking. Mrs. O. Well, your heart isn't breaking, so the analogy fails. Filb. You didn't care a dozen years ago whether it broke or not. Mrs. O. Why will you insist on going back a dozen years ! File. {Leanifig towards her). How can I help it in the presence of those hazel eyes and that chestnut hair ! Mrs. O. You are treading on dangerous ground ! OR, ^ FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 19 File. I love dangerous ground ! {Thoughtfully). And so you have a sister-in-law ? She too has hazel eyes and chestnut hair ! Mrs. O. That seems to be a mania with you. File. It's the early attack. Mrs. O. On dangerous ground again ! File. Fd like to pitch my tent on it ! Mrs. O. {Rises, crosses up L., laughing). You are like the boy who loved to set off fireworks. It didn't hurt him, but it sputtered every one in the neighborhood with flying sparks. File. {Following her.) Talking of flying sparks, what- ever became of that hated rival of mine, young — what was his name ? — who was studying medicine in those days ? Jarvis, I believe his name was ? Mrs. O. Oh, he's become quite a popular physician. A specialist for the nerves. File. I hate specialists ; they are simply feeders of fads. I like a good all-round doctor, who unloads his physic on you, and then pulls out his stop watch, gambling on the result — kill or cure, in so many seconds. Mrs. O. How dreadful I But you never liked Jarvis, even in the earlier days, I remember. File. No. I never did. Mrs. O. I see you are prejudiced. File. Yes; against him and his class. Mrs. O. His class ! He's one of the most popular doctors in society. File. That's just it! It's your society doctor I hate! Your dancing, singing, merry-making parlor physician ! Mrs. O. How bitter you are. File. I'll tell you some day an experience I had with one of them in San Francisco; a man who— but pshaw! {Laughing). Here I am letting my temper run away with me! {Pause). 20 THE CLUB FRIEND ; Mrs. O. Mr. Filbert, your words have disconcerted me ; I don't like you to hold such opinions about the class to which you say Doctor Jarvis belongs. He is a very dear friend of mine. FiLB. Then let us change the subject. Mrs. O. I have always found him intelligent, courteous and — and — sympathetic. FiLB. I knew it ! Sympathetic! They are all sympa- thetic ! That's the worst of them, confound them ! What right has Doctor Jarvis to be sympathetic } {In a tone of anger) . Mrs. O. Mr. Filbert, I don't understand your tone ! FiLB. I beg your pardon. The old-time feeling of pro- prietorship overcame me. I forgot that I had been dis- charged for incompetency, and sent West for a change of manners. By the w'ay — it's pretty nearly time for me to be taking my departure. Mrs. O. Oh, must you go ! Can't you stay for dinner? File. With a cancelled invitation waiting for me at my hotel ? Hardly ! Mrs. O. {Rising). You must let me show you my conservatory before you go. You always used to be in- terested in the plants I raised, and I have a lovely collection now— some gardenias that I am extremely proud of. FiLB. Indeed ! Mrs. O. {Going L). Yes, Doctor Jarvis sent them to me. FiLB. Doctor Jarvis again ! Mrs. O. Come along, and don't be silly ! FiLB. You wouldn't dare call me silly if you hadn't hazel eyes and chestnut hair ! {Ex e wit into Conservatory, L). {Enter Oaks, C./rom L„ followed by old FrawleY.) Oaks. {Speaking). Not now, Frawley! I am not in OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 21 the mood for it. I have no doubt your speculations will make a fortune for everybody concerned ; but I am not in the mood for speculation to-day. Fkawlev. Don't call it speculation, Oaks ! It's an in- vestment ! It's like finding money ! Oaks. (Sitfi/tg in anncliair down R. C). That's what you said on forly-three different occasions. You've been finding money all your life, and in spite of that if it were not for Mrs. Frawley's income, I'd like to know what you'd be living on ! Fraw. Don't get personal. Oaks. I'm not to blame be- cause my wife's well off ! Oaks. She wouldn't be if you could help it. Fraw. Come now. Oaks. You haven't looked into this new scheme of mine. You don't know whether it's good or bad. Oaks. Not to-day, Frawley. Not to-day. You know I left my office early to get away from business. I'm out of sorts. Fraw. Why, what's the matter ? What has ruffled you ? Oaks. A mere trifle — a mere nothing. I oughtn't to pay any attention to it, but human nature is weak, and I can't help it. Fraw. Let me help you. You mayn't think much of me in business but you can't deny I've always been a friend to you ! Oaks. So you have, Frawley. I'll tell you what it is. I've received an anonymous letter. I've tried not to pay any attention to it, but it rankles. Fraw. Hang an anonymous letter ! Throw it into the fire! Oaks. That's what I did ! But I rescued it before it was quite destroyed. Fraw. {Going down R.). It was about your wife, I pre- sume. 22 THE CLUB FRIEND ; Oaks. What makes you think it was about my wife ? What makes you presume ? Fraw, Because I've had anonymous letters about ;/y wife too. No man's wife is complete without them. Oaks. {Rising). But I never received any before. Fraw. Everything's got to have a beginning. Oaks. Frawley, the scoundrel^for he is a scoundrel or he wouldn't be anonymous — has the impertinence to advise me to keep an eye on " some one who is very much inter- ested in Mrs. Oaks." {Takes letter and reads). " You may not know him well yourself," he says, " but your wife knows him better than you do." Fraw. That's what they said to me ten years ago. That's what they've been saying ever since — these anony- mous correspondents. They made me miserable for the first two years. 1 set traps for every visitor that came to the house. I made my wife's life a burden to herself and me. The only one I caught in a trap was myself, and I finally concluded that if I was being deceived, it was being done so cleverly, that ignorance was gilt-edged bliss ! Take the tip from me, dear boy. Don't you ever pay any atten- tion to anonymous letters. Now about my plans for Window'Glass Insurance. Oaks. I may not know him well myself, but my wife knows him better than I do ! Fraw. He may mean 7ne ! Oaks, I had your wife at the opera twice last week, when Mrs. Frawley couldn't come, and you were at the club ! Oaks. {Going /?.). Don't be an ass, Frawley ! Fraw. {Going L.). Don't you be an ass. Oaks ! Oaks. {At fireplace, J?.). Mrs. Oaks was very nervous this morning. Quite ill with nervousness. Too ill to re- ceive a gentleman to dinner to-night, whom I had met at the club, and taken a great fancy to. I had to retract the in- vitation ! One of the brightest, merriest chaps I ever saw ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 23 Got all the boys laughing over his stories, and applauding his songs! I'd set my mind on a lovely evening, and Mrs. Oaks has a nervous attack and refuses to see him. Now somebody's given her trouble with her nerves ! That's what this anonymous note means; and I'll find it out! Mark my words, I'll find it out ! (Mrs. Oaks is /teard laughing tn the conservatory). Oaks. Why, that's her laugh ! i^Goes up). And there she is in the conservatory with a visitor ! {Laugh). Did you hear that, Frawley ! In her delicate state of health having a good time in the conservatory ! I wonder who he can be .-* Fraw. I guess I'll be going ! Oaks. No, don't go, Frawley ! I need you to sustain me ! {Looking ojff). I know that man, Frawley. It's my friend. It's the man she didn't want to meet ! It's the man who affected her nerves ! Frawley, I see it all ! What has brought that man into this house ? He's the one my wife knows better than I do ! Shall I blow his brains out, or shall I see him first ? Fraw. You had better see him before you blow his brains out. Oaks. I'll write Mrs. Oaks a letter, and say farewell, and tell her I know all ! I'm too nervous to write. {Tak- ing him to desk ttp R. C). Frawley, come here. Sit down, and write what I dictate. (Frawley protests, but Oxv^^sits him down, hands him pen and stands over hivi). {Enter Mrs. Oaks with Filbert, L.). Mrs. O. {To Filbert). If you really must be going! File. Why, it would be absurd to insist upon meeting Mr. Oaks at dinner to-night, after he has cancelled his invi- tation. 24 THE CLUB FRIEND; Oaks. (Turning suddeitly). Not at all ! Mrs. O. {Surprised, but recovering). Mr, Oaks ! Oaks. Yes, madam ! Mrs. O. Why, then you can persuade Mr. Filbert to stay. I have been trying to do so. {Going R.). You'll ex- cuse me, won't you, dear, while I get ready for dinner. Abram, dear, entertain Mr. Filbert, won't you ! " {Exit Mrs. Oaks, R). Oaks. Entertain him ! Frawley, we are to entertain him ! Did you hear, Mr. Filbert — we are to entertain you ! FiLB. That will be a very easy matter. Oaks. Won't it.? {To Frawley, 7£//i!^ is trying to go up C). Don't go, Frawley ! FiLB. You must be surprised to find me here. Oaks. You haven't received my letter at your hotel.? FiLB. No. I haven't been home since morning. Oaks. Do you hear that, Frawley.? He hasn't been home since morning! Fraw. {Dazed). Not since morning ! Oaks. Frawley and I have just been talking about you. Haven't we, Frawley.? Fraw. Yes. FiLB. How delightful! Won't you introduce me? I think I have already had the pleasure of meeting yT/ri'. Fraw- ley. Oaks. Oh, don't you know Frawley? Funny! I thought you knew everybody, — or everybody's wife ! Fraw- ley, this is Filbert ; Filbert, Frawley. F-W- J Delighted. Oaks. So you're here ! All the better ! I didn't know you knew Mrs. Oaks, but you do I see. All the better. FiLB. Yes. The fact is, Mrs. Oaks and I are old ac- quaintances ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 25 Oaks. Do you hear that, Fravvley ? Old acquaintances ! All the better. Then you've got to stay for dinner. FiLB. You must really excuse me. Oaks. No, but we won't excuse you — will we, Frawley } Fraw. {Dazed). Perhaps Mr. Filbert has made other engagements. FiLB. That's it precisely — other engagements. Oaks. Absurd ! How can he have made other engage- ments ! He knows he's been invited to dinner here, and he hasn't been home to find out differently. File. But Mrs. Oaks has told me. Oaks. She had no right to tell you anything. This is my house. Isn't it, Frawley } Do you hear me, Mr. Fil- bert } My house ! File. {Aside). The old gentleman is excited. Oaks. And I mean to keep you here! File. Keep me here.'* Oaks. Yes — the whole evening. File. The whole evening .> Oaks. Yes — and to-morrow ! File. Oh, no ! Oaks. And the next day ! I shall have you under my eye all the time. {Sees Frawley about to go up C, grabs /itm.) Don't go, Frawley ! I need you here ! Fraw. My wife is waiting for me ! Oaks. That's all a man's wife is good for. Don't worry, Frawley, she won't be lonesome ! Women never are, are they, Mr. Filbert ? File. Never in pleasant company. Oaks. Ha ! ha ! That's good ! Never in pleasant company. How's that, Frawley ? Fraw. Ha ! ha ! Never in pleasant company. File. Mr. Oaks, you are excited about something. I should be a fool if I did not notice it. Won't you please give me some explanation ? 26 THE CLUB FRIEND; Oaks. Excited ! What an idea ! Ha ! ha ! Now if you were a married man — but psliaw ! You're not, don't you see ! You don't know what it is to have a wife many years younger than yourself, and to have suddenly found out that Fraw. (^liiterrupiing). Don't be a fool. Oaks, you are betraying yourself ! FiLB. {Aside). He has heard something about his wife ! Oaks. Mr. Filbert, let me tell you at once, that I know all! FiLB. If you know all, you haven't much to learn. Oaks. I'll tell him, Frawley. I'm no good at setting traps ! Mr, Filbert, I received an impertinent letter this morning. {Enter Mrs. Oaks, R.). FlLB. From whom ? Oaks. I don't know, perhaps you can tell me. I'll read it to you. {Reads letter). " Keep an eye on some one who is very much interested in Mrs. Oaks. You may not know him well yourself, but your wife knows him better than you do." (Mrs. Oaks starts). File. And the letter is not signed.' Oaks. No. File. May I see it? (Oaks hands it to him). An anonymous communication ! And you have allowed that to prey upon your mind ! There is only one thing to do with a note of this kind ! {He tears it into bits). Oaks. What do you mean ? File. {Seizing his wrist). I mean that you are seri- ously ill, and that you need a physician. {Seats him on sofa down L., crossing in front of him to C). {Enter Sylvia, Z.). OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 27 (Sylvia sees picture, and joins her broiJier, Frawley also with him). {Enter D R. J A R v i s, C. from L.) . Dr. J. Good evening ! And how does my patient find herself this evening ? {Going R. to Mrs. Oaks). File. {In imperative tone). Doctor Jarvis ! Dr. J. {In surprise). Stuyvesant Filbert ! File. Your patient is there ! {Indicating Oaks). I will attend to Mrs. Oaks. (Filbert goes to Mrs. Oaks, and offers his arm, which she takes mechanically as the CUR- TAIN FALLS). END OF ACT /. 28 THE CLUB FRIEND; ACT IT. SCENE: Reception-roo7n at MRS. Frawley's. DISCOVER: MRS. Frawley in evening dress, seated {in armchair, L. C.) reading. FRAW- LEY, ift dressing gown and slippers, pacing tip and down stage nervously, Mrs. F. Makepeace, what on earth are you running up and down the room for } Fraw, I am thinking, my dear ; you know I always have to be moving when I think. Mrs. F. But, my dear, you have been moving all day long! Fraw. It's been one of my thinking days ! Mrs. F. Whatever have you got to think about? Fraw. That's just like you, to ask such a question ! I wonder who would do the thinking for the family if I didn't ? {Goes down /?.). Mrs. F. Makepeace, whether you stop thinking or not. do get some proper clothes on. Don't you know we are ex- pecting friends ? Fraw. I am getting tired of these Friday evenings of yours, Margaret. {Crossing to her). What's the good of entertaining a lot of people who don't care a snap of their fingers for you, and only interrupt the current of your thoughts ? Mrs. F. You'll find your evening clothes laid out for you on the chair. Your buttons and studs are put in ; so you've Jiothing to do but make yourself look beautiful. Fraw. {Smiling). I can't be cross with you, Margaret, and you know it. {Kisses her). But do enter a little more OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 29 into my projects, and give me a little more encouragement when I'm thinking out ways to make a fortune. Mrs. F. What use would we have for a fortune .' We each have the other, that ought to be fortune enough ! Fraw. How beautiful, Margaret ! But how unpractical ! I need money, Margaret, and it keeps me moving and think- ing where to raise it ! {Going down R.). Mrs. F. I'm afraid you've raised more already than you can pay back ! Fraw. All the more reason to keep moving and think- ing. {Going up L.). Mrs. F. I do hope you have not been borrowing? Fraw. No, I haven't borrowed lately. That is to say, I don't call it borrowing if one's own son advances the needed capital. Mrs. F. One's own son ! {Rising). What are you talk- ing about. Makepeace ? Maximilian hasn't been letting you have any money, has he ? Fraw. Well — yes, my dear— that is, a little. Mrs. F. W^hy, where has he been getting it from ? Fraw. Why, he gets a good salary from Mr. Oaks, a much better salary than I'd care to pay him, if I were Oaks I Mrs. F. You know that Mr. Oaks has employed Maxi- milian as much to oblige us, as anything else ; for though we adore our son, we can't call him a brilliant boy — in fact Fraw. Maximilian is an empty-headed numbskull, with no more brains than a mosquito, though he is our son ; but that is no reason why he shouldn't invest his capital with his father, if he wants to, is it ? {Enter Maximilian, up R. C. a sapped-out specimen of a youtJi) . Maximilian. Good-evening, mother. {Kisses her). Mrs. F. Good-evening, Max. 30 THE CLUB FRIEND ; Fraw. {Sitting on ottoman, C). Where have you been since yesterday ? Max. At the club. Mrs. F. All night? Max. Yep ! Got betting with the boys whose lump of sugar a fly would light on first. Staid up till morning. All the flies lit on my sugar. I won eighty-four dollars. Mrs. F. {Dismayed). Up all night betting on flies ! That was a thrilling occupation for a young man ! Fraw. But he won, Margaret ! Max. Yes, I won. (Mr. F. rubs hands with satis- faction). Then I bet the eighty-four dollars that I could jump over more chairs at once, than anybody else in the club. Fraw, Yes — and you won — ? {Pause). Max. And I lost. Fraw. The whole eighty-four dollars ? Max. At a clip. Fraw. {Rising). You drivelling numbskull ! You dough-headed specimefi of a dodo ! Aren't you ashamed of yourself.? To let your hard-earned savings go out of your hands in that way } Max. But those eighty-four dollars were not hard-earned savings ! Max. But they might have been ! Mrs. F. {Coming down R. C. to tete-a-tete) But Maxi- milian, think of your health ! If you stay up all night like this, and lose your sleep, what will become of you } Max. I don't lose my sleep. I stay in bed. Fraw. How can you stay in bed down in the office ? Max. Fm not down in the office. Fraw. What does Mr. Oaks say to that } Max. He discharged me last week. Fraw. {Gasping). Discharged you ! Margaret, do you hear that ? Discharged ! And that's your boy, that's the boy you brought up ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 31 Mrs. F. He's the boy you took to your club and got elected. He hasn't been fit for anything since the day he became a member. (Max has gone down L. C. and leans against table). P^RAW. Would you mind telling me, young man, what you intend to do with yourself, now that you have been dis- charged ? Max. I don't know. Something will come along. Fraw. Will it ? Max. I've saved a little money, and some of the boys at the club will invest it for me. Mrs. F. {Pleased, A'.). So you have saved a little money, have you, Max } Max. Yes, mother. Mrs. F. Where is it } Max. Father has it. Fraw. Is that all the money you have ? Max. Every cent ! Fraw. {Hopeless). And you call that saved ! {Turning to her). Margaret, what have I ever done to you that you should have made me father such a specimen as this ! Mrs. F. Don't abuse him, Makepeace ; you've no doubt told him yourself that you were saving it for him. Max. He did, mother. Fraw. But he believed it ! That's what drives me wild ! He believed it ! {Recollecting himself). I mean — of course he believed it ! But what right had he to get himself discharged ? To lie in bed all day and neglect his work, until Mr. Oaks had to get rid of him. That is un- pardonable ! Max. I didn't lie in bed all day until after I had been discharged. Mrs. F. What do you mean, Maximilian ? ( With ages- ture of impatience Mr. Y . goes up C). Max. Mr. Oaks came to me last week, and said : k 32 THE CLUB FRIEND ; " Maximilian, as you are aware, our firm has met with severe losses ; and I am compelled to cut down expenses. One book-keeper will have to do. We shall have to let the as- sistant go. I'm sorry, more especially as I have only words of praise for you, for the faithful and conscientious way in which you have always performed your duties." Fraw. Mr. Oaks said that to you } Max. Last week. Mrs. F. Why didn't you mention it } Max. He told me the firm's condition in strict confi- dence, so I thought I'd think it over, before speaking of it. Fraw. So you thought it over in bed .-* Max. Yes, father. Mrs. F. {Pause). Don't scold him, Makepeace, he's done nothing wrong. It's a matter of much more importance that Mr. Oaks is embarrassed. I hope it's nothing alarm- ing. {Enter Sylvia, L.). Syl. Good-evening. All. Good-evening, Sylvia. Syl. Mrs. Frawley, {going over to her) Evelyn says she will drive over later. Mrs. F. Very well, my dear. Makepeace, do make yourself presentable. Fraw. All right, my love. {Starts to go off into his room). Max. {Intercepting him). Father, just a moment. {Bringing him down). When do I get that money ? Fraw. Next month ! {Starting R.). Max. {Detaining him). Father, don't you think I had better break off my engagement with Sylvia .'' Fraw. I never knew you were engaged. Max. Very nearly engaged. Fraw. Do as you please about that. {Starting R.). OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. ZZ Max. {Detaining him). She might be very much in love with me, and I don't want to brealc her all up. Fraw. No fear of that ! {Starting R.). Max. And besides ■ Fraw. You are very much in love with her. Max. I was, but Fraw, Yes — well. Max. I've learnt to love another! Fraw. You're an ass ! {Exit Frawley, R. I E.) {During the above, Sylvia and Mrs. F. have come down R. C, conversing). Mrs. F. {Rising to go). Tell him yourself, Sylvia, that's the best way. {Exit Mrs. Frawley, R. i E.). {Both Max and Sylvia remain awkward for a minute^ Max. Sylvia! Syl. Maximilian ! Max. I've got something to say to yoUo Syl. And I have something to say to you. Max. It concerns us both. Syl. It concerns you and me. Max. I used to think Syl. So did I ! Max. But I've concluded Syl. So have I ! Max. Of course everybody has a right to change his mind. Syl. That's what a person's mind is for. Max. That never occurred to me. Very likely. 34 THE CLUB FRIEND; Syl. I never really gave you any encouragement — did I, Max ? Max. Well, I can't say that, Sylvia ! Syl. But j'ou must, if you want to speak the truth. Max. Well, you can't say that I really offered. Syl. {Quickly rising). Offered what } Max. {Calmly, after a pause). I don't know. Syl. Offered what ? Who asked you to offer anything ? Did you dare to presume, because I listened to a few silly flattering remarks of yours, that I gave you sufficient en- couragement to offer me anything under the sun, sir ! How dare you have the impertinence to begin your sentence by saying you didn't really offer Max. {Perplexed). That wasn't what I wanted to say. Syl. You will please then, Mr. Frawley, confine yourself henceforth to saying what you want to say. Max. I don't want to say a word — I want to listen. Syl. In that case, let me state briefly, as follows : all is over between us. {A pause.) Max. Thank you. Syl. What do you mean, sir ? Max. I mean I'm sorry. Sorry, but I'm resigned. I didn't think you'd give me up without a struggle, but you do give me up ; and you don't struggle, so I thank you. I pre- sume you have learnt to love another. Syl. What business is that of yours ? Max. Nothing. Only, so have I. Syl. Love another } And who is she, pray } Max. I don't see Syl. That's right! Get impertinent, and tell me it's none of my business ! Max. {Going to her). I won't tell you who she is, but I'll show you her picture. Syl. Oh, it's got as far as that has it ! You carry her picture about with you ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 35 Max. Yes. {Taking picture slowly from his pocket). Syl. Let me see ! {Grabbing it quickly). Why ! You great big story teller ! Her picture ! It's a man's picture ! Max. Is it? Syl. {Laughing). Why, this is a picture of Mr. Stuyve- sant Filbert ! How did you come by that } Max. {Looking at picture). Filbert's picture ! Ha ! ha ! I am a ninny ! I took up the wrong picture in a hurry. {He takes it back). Syl. {Working herself up into a passion). How did that photograph come into your possession .'' Max. I found it on the mantelpiece of the young lady I was calling on. She knows Filbert very well. He's a rival of mine in her affections ; but he's too old for her. Syl. He's not too old for anybody ! {Goes down L.). Max. (C'.J. Yes, he is for her! She says she loves him as a father, I tell her I've no objection to that. Syl. You have no objection indeed ! Max. No. Have you? Syl. {Coming to him). I don't believe a word of what you are saying to me. I don't believe you got Mr. Filbert's picture off any girl's mantelpiece, and I don't believe Mr. Filbert gave any girl his picture to put on her mantelpiece ; and I don't want you ever to speak another word to me as long as you live ! {S\l.\l\ flounces tip stage). {Enter Filbert, L. i E.). File. Ah! Good-evening. Max. Good-evening, Mr. Filbert, we were just talking about you. Filb. Go on then. You couldn't talk about anything that would so chain my attention. {Sits in an armchair, L. C). Max. I was just showing this photograph to Miss Oaks. {Showsii to Filbert). 36 . THE CLUB FRIEND; Syl. [Coming down C). Which he took off a young lady's mantelpiece. File. {Severely). How does that photograph come into your possession ? SVL. That's what I should like to have explained. FiLB. {Business of Max, looking from one to the other). Then you are the young man she told me about. I want to have a serious talk with you by-and-by. Max. Really.? FiLB. Yes, really. In the meanwhile I'll keep this pic- ture, if you don't mind. I can't afford to have myself in cir- culation so promiscuously. It might make me too popular. Max. If you don't need me any longer, Miss Oaks, I'll go? Syl. Need you ! Need you ! What word is there in the English language to express the opposite of need } FiLB. Needless! Syl. Need-/,?^^ / I don't need afty of him ! Max. Thank you ! {Exit Max, C, to L.). Syl. And if it's all the same to you, I'll leave also. {Starts up L. C). FiLB. Don't run away on my account I beg. {Opens albtim). Syl. The guests are in the drawing-room. FiLB. Yes, I know. I came here to escape them, {Listlessly t timing over the leaves of album). Syl. {Aside, getting up C). He doesn't care the snap of his fingers for me, and I know it. File. {Aside). If Jarvis comes here to-night, will it be wise for me to speak to him } Syl. {Aside). He doesn't pay the slightest attention to me, an4 last week he was all eyes and ears in my presence. OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 37 FiLB. {Aside). I will speak plainly to Mrs. Oaks first. I can surely rely on her intelligence. Syl. {Aside). I'll take my glove off and drop it. If he picks it up and keeps it, it will be a sign he cares for me. {Taking off her glove). FiLB. {Aside. Rising and coming C). Mrs. Oaks has all the thoughtlessness of innocence, but I cannot bear to see her compromise herself, without wanting to warn her; and yet, how can I, how can 1} (Sylvia has crossed to the chair where he had been sitting, a7id drops her glove in the chair. He returns to the chair, and passing Sylvia, accidentally pushes against her). FiLB. I beg your pardon ! Are you still here } Syl. Yes. But I'm going now. {Starting up C). FiLB. Won't you let me know when Mrs. Oaks arrives, Sylvia, I want to see her. Syl. Certainly. Good-evening. FiLB. {Vacantly). Good-evening. {Sylvia does not go off but stands at back, eagerly watch- ing his movements^ FiLB. {Going to chair, L). Perhaps I had better tell Mrs. Frawley the whole story of Jarvis. ( Vacantly picks up glove). Syl. {Aside). He has picked it up ! FiLB. {Slapping the palm of his hand with the glove as he speaks). If one could only do one's duty for duty's sake and not let sentiment creep into it ! But that is the fatality of those hazel eyes, and that chestnut hair ! (Filbert draws the glove through his hand sentimen- tally). Syl, {Aside). He's treating it tenderly ! He'll kiss it in a moment ! 3* THE CLUB FRIEND ; FiLB. {Crossing to C). Under their spell I am pledged to her service. I'm a fool ! Every man is, who mixes him- self up in another's affairs ! But Jarvis must be called to account by somebody, and, by Jove ! I'll do it — if I have to slap his face. {Thro%vs glove off in anger. Sylvia has co7ne down L. C. slightly). Syl. {Screams). FiLB. {Startled). What's the matter ? Syl. That's my glove ! FiLB. I beg your pardon ! {Hastens to pick up gloz'e, hands it to her, he still holding on to the other end). Syl. Thank you. I'll take it, please. File. {Sejttimentally). The same hazel eyes ? The same chestnut hair ! Syl. Oh, bother my hazel eyes! Do you understand me ? — and bother my chestnut hair ! (Exit Sylvia angrily, L. i E.). FiLB. Certainly, if you insist on it. Bother your chest- nut hair. I don't want to bother it — but if you insist Why has the miniature angel risen in its wrath .'' What have I done .> {Turning R.). {Enter Mrs. Frawley, i?.). Mrs. F, Good-evening, Mr. P'ilbert. FiLB. Good-evening. Mrs. F. I am so glad you have come ! Nobody is so amusing as you. File. That's very kind of you, but it's libellous. Mrs. F. You are always so droll ! File. {Gloomily). Thank you. Mrs. F. Do you know, I just like to sit and listen to you, without paying the slightest attention to what you say. It just amuses me to hear you prattle. File. How flattering ! It strikes me I have chosen a bad time to talk seriously with you, OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 39 Mrs. F. K^« talk seriously ! {Laj/g/nng). Now don't belie your magnificent reputation of being unable to. FiLB. I am reeking with seriousness at the present moment, and I decline to be trifled with. Mrs. F. {Crossing L.). At the present moment I am determined that you shall come into the music-room and sing something for us ; 1 positively forbid you even to at- tempt to be serious ! FiLB. But I won't sing ! Mrs. F. And disappoint a whole room full of people who have heard of you ! FiLB. No matter what they have heard of me I am in- nocent ! (Dr. Jarvis heard off" L., laughing). FiLB. Wasn't that Doctor Jarvis ? Mrs. F. I shouldn't wonder. FiLB. I want to talk to you seriously about Doctor Jarvis. Mrs. F. Not to-night — not to-night. {Goes up — looks offL.). {Enter FrawleY, R. i E. He conies dcmm very cordially to Filbert). Fraw. Here you are, my dear Mr. Filbert ! {Shaking both hands). May I call you Stuyvesant .? I «//// call you Stuyvesant ! I hope you don't hold me answerable for Mr. Oaks's eccentric demeanor towards you the other day. I am very glad indeed to see you here this evening. I want to have a chat with you. FiLB. A serious one I hope. Fraw. Precisely. Serious. FiLB. Thank goodness there's somebody serious ! Mrs. F. {Reprovingly). Makepeace ! A serious talk this evening ! 40 THE CLUB FRIEND; Fraw, Serious — and business ! Mrs. F. {Cotni7ig down L.). 1 hope. Makepeace, you don't mean to talk business to Mr. Filbert this evening. Fraw. Business is always in order. Don't you think so, Mr. Filbert ? {Enter Dr. Jarvis and Mrs. Oaks, L. 2 E). Mrs. O. Good-evening. The Others. Good-evening. (Mrs. F. meets them up C). Mrs. F, {To Mrs. O. and Dr.). Mr. Filbert is coming into the music-room. Fraw. {Going L. with hitn). No — the smoking-room. Mrs. F. {To Mrs. O. and Dr.). He's going to sing for us! FiLB. Am I } Fraw. Not until I've had my business talk with him ! FiLB. Talking about business, at what time to-morrow would it be convenient ior yot( to see 7ne, Doctor Jarvis .-* Dr. J. Would three o'clock suit you ? FiLB. Very well indeed. (Tt? Mrs. Frawley). And now I am at your disposal. {To Mr. Frawley). Or yours. Either or both ! {They both lock arms with him). {Exeunt chatting, L. i E!). Mrs. O. {To Jarvis going J?.). And what is the objec- tion you say you have to Mr. Filbert ? Dr. J. I don't like the interest you show in him. It dis- concerts — it distresses me ! Mrs. O. {Sitting on tete-a-tete, laughing). What non- sense you are talking ! How can it concern you, as my physician, whom I take an interest in ? Dr. J. Why will you persist in reminding me of my of- fice as your physician } {Coming to her). Have I no rights as a friend ? OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 41 Mrs. O. No right to permit you to dictate my choice of other friends. Dr. J. You forget that no other friend can care for you as I do. Mrs. O. {Looking up at htm curiously). This is some- thing new ! Since when has this sudden care arisen ? Dr. J. Since when } Have you been blind all these months to a devotion I have taken no pains to conceal.'' Mrs. O. Has your devotion been more than I had a right to expect from my physician .'' Dr. J. Much more. Mrs. O. You surprise me. I beg of you, then, to turn over a new leaf at once, f have no right, and certainly no desire, to claim more of your interest than is due a confiding patient. Dr. J. Evelyn, it is too late to recede. You know it is not as my patient that I have learnt to look upon you with such fervor ; it is as my ideal, my love. Mrs. O. {Rising slotu/)'). Doctor Jarvis ! Dr. J. Have I not given you every proof of my sincer- ity ? Mrs. O. Proof? Proof? Dr. J. Have you ever appealed to me for assistance when I was not willing and ready to render it? Mrs. O. I do not know to what you refer. Dr. J. It is only a trifling matter I admit, but did I not yesterday, when you came to me and confessed the financial embarrassment of your husband, instantly respond ? Mrs. O. I came to you in all honesty and told you that I had offered to turn over to my husband my personal prop- erty, amounting to some ten thousand dollars, which he de- clined to accept. You did not hesitate to lend me the money on those securities. Dr. J. A'of on those securities. Mrs. O. I gave you my note 42 THE CLUB FRIEND; Dr. J. Which I destroyed in your presence. Mrs. O. {Crossing to C). Had I foreseen that the obliga- tion to you would entail upon me others that you seem to hint at, do you think for a moment that I should have come to you with my confession .'' Dr. J. I hope so, for you must have felt how delighted I was to serv^e you ! Mrs. O. You were serving my husband. Dr. J. {Smiling). No doubt ! But surely you are not unsophisticated enough in this selfish world, not to know that helping a husband through the wife, is a service that far transcends mere business. Mrs. O. {Sitting on ottoman — back to Jmn). You are growing more and more difficult to understand. Dr. J. {After a slight pause, during which he ap- proaches her with a sho7u of fervor, — then with increasing warmth.) Evelyn, I love you. There is nothing I would leave undone to win you ; I may have deceived myself in supposing that you had understood me all along, but as I have told you already, it is too late to recede. There is hardly a folly — Heaven help me I — there is hardly a crime, I could not justify to myself, if by committing it, it would draw me nearer to you. Do you know why I sent that anonymous letter to your husband ? Mrs. O. {Aghast). You sent it ! Dr. J. Yes I — in the hope that if our names were linked together, even in the mouth of gossip, I should feel a pos- session of you, different from any I had yet known. Mrs. O. Doctor Jarvis ! {In a tone of anger and con- tempt) . Dr. J. I have laid myself bare to you, because I love and trust you ! Mrs. O. Not another word ! I have duties before me — immediate and imperative. The money you loaned me yes- terday must be returned to you at once. Every second that OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICUM. 43 this debt is unpaid, adds to ray disgrace and the guilt I feel in having accepted it. I will bring those ten thousand dollars to your office to-morrow at three. That debt once paid {going iip to C.) never dare to enter my presence again ! Dr. J. Where will you get ten thousand dollars to- morrow .'' Mrs. O. (/« arc/i up C). That is ;/y affair ! {Exz't haughtily C. to L.). Dr. J. {Alone). And she will do it, too ! And I shall have failed ! She will bring that money to me herself, for she will let no one else share the secret. Where will she get it from } {Goes to desk R. and takes up pen to write). Filbert will be at my office at three to-morrow ! ( Writes). " Dear Mr. Oaks. She will meet him at Dr. Jarvis' office at 3 to- morrow." {Isolds and seals the letter. Starts L.). I must see that this is mailed to him at once. (Exit, L.). {Enter Filbert and Maximilian, L. 2 E., conversing). FiLB. And so you are sure that little Mabel Douglas, who gave you my picture in mistake for her own, cares for you ? Max. No, I'm not sure she cares for me, but I'm quite sure she will care for me, after you are out of the way. FiLB. Am I in the way? Max. Yes. She told me she never could care for any- body as much as for you ; now I think you are much too old to care for her yourself, and you might give me a chance. FiLB. Quite right. {Sitting C). It's time a man of my age let the girls alone, I'm thinking, anyhow ! Max. That's'so ! FiLB. And you love her ? Max. {Sitting). You bet ! Who can help loving her } FiLB. Have you told her so .-' 44 THE CLUB FRIEND ; Max. No. I haven't. Some fellows can talk, I can't. Father says I'm an ass. FiLB. Your father ought to know. Max. I just sit still in her presence and look at her pic- ture. That's how she came to offer to let me have it. I was so happy I took the wrong one by mistake. FiLB. Oh, it's as bad as that, is it ! There's always hope for a man who can't speak when he's in love. If he could talk, it wouldn't be half so sincere. Max. I'm awfully glad to hear you say so. If it would only prove to her how much I love her, I would hold my tongue for a month. FiLB. How are you fixed, in case she wanted to marry you } Max. That's the trouble. I've loaned my money to father. File. Loaned it to your father? On what security .? Max. He didn't give me any. File. {Sitting in arm chair L. C). Yotl are a bad business man. Max. But he's my father ! File. That's not negotiable collateral. Max. The first thing to do, is to get the girl to be will- ing to wait. File. She might get wrinkled ! Max. No. I'm able to work. I'm not such a fool as father thinks I am. {Getting to back of table). Now I had a nice position with Mr. Oaks, until he was compelled to let me go. File. Compelled to let you go ! Who compelled him ? Max. Why, it's like this. If I tell you something in confidence, you won't give me away } File. Not unlessj must. Max. Mr. Oaks was financially embarrassed, and he had to get rid of me. I OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 45 FiLB. Mr. Oaks financially embarrassed ! Max. And he cut down expenses. FlLB. And you were one of the expenses.' Ma.x. Father says 1 was a luxury. FiLB. Mr. Oaks embarrassed, and she never mentioned it ! {Aside.) Max. If Fm good enough to earn a salary in one place, Fm good enough to earn one in another. FiLB. Right you are ! Max. And if Mabel Douglas will give me time File. {Rising). Mabel Douglas shall give you time. Leave that to me. Max. {Joyfully). What do you mean ? FiLB. I don't know yet. Hope ! {Going down C). There is no harm in hoping. Max. Tell her Fll save my money, and Fll give up the club. I hate the club anyway. I can't play billiards, I never can smoke without feeling dizzy, the drinks give me a headache, and sitting up at night makes me bilious, and that's all the club's good for. I only joined it because father proposed me. FiLB. Then you wt7v an ass ! Max, All I want is a little time. FiLB. If you'll send your father to me I'll be much obliged. Max. Thank you, sir. If father should call me names, don't pay any attention to him, will you ? {Going L.). FiLB. Not at all. I'll remind him that he was a boy once himself, and that you'll be a father some day. Max. Oh, thank you ! {Exif Max. L. I ^.). File. {Alone). Oaks embarrassed ! Surely Evelyn knows about it, and has said nothing. I wonder if she would come to me if they were in trouble, and remember that there is nothing under the sun I wouldn't do for her. 46 THE CLUB FRIEND ; But how can I serve her, without complicating the already strained relations that exist between her husband and my- self? {Enter MRS. Oaks excitedly, C. from L). Mrs. O. {Comijig down quickly to him). Mr. Filbert ! FiLB. Mrs. Oaks I Mrs. O. Stuyvesant ! FiLB. Evelyn ! Mrs. O. Ever since I have known you, you have been my friend. FiLB. Ever since I've known you I've tried to be. Mrs. O. I didn't realize the other evening the true mo- tive that made you warn me against Doctor Jarvis. I fan- cied it was the old animosity ; but my eyes have been opened since. FiLB. Those hazel eyes ! Mrs. O. If I ask you to do me a great favor, and tell you that I ask it in order that I may set myself free forever from the influence of this man, do you think you could grant it without asking more information than I am willing to give? FiLB. I would grant any favor you ask, and the greater the service the happier I shall be in rendering it. Mrs. O. Thank you, Stuyvesant, you are as generous as you are noble. File. I wish you had found that out years ago ! Mrs. O. I did find it out. File. But you forgot to mention it. Mrs. O. To come directly to the point, I am in debt to Doctor Jarvis. File. In debt to him ! Mrs. O. To the amount of ten thousand dollars. File. I'd rather be in debt to the ; it's the same thing. You must get out of debt this minute. Mrs. O. You divine then the great favor I would ask of OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 47 you ? I have in personal property and securities, the value of about ten thousand dollars. These 1 wish you to convert for me into cash without a moment's delay. FiLB. One moment — one moment — let me understand. What did you do with the money Doctor Jarvis loaned you.'' Mrs. O. I gave it to my husband. FiLB. Can't your husband give it back.^ Mrs. O. Impossible ! Immediately on receiving it he wired the money to Chicago. The whole future of his affairs hinged upon that sum, that was needed before nightfall by his correspondents in the West. File. Where did you tell him you got it from } Mrs. O. I told him ths truth. I told him it was loaned to us by Doctor Jarvis. File. And he suspected nothing? Mrs. O. He had nothing to suspect, no more than I had when I accepted the loan. We both believed in his friend- ship. File. My entire bank account is at your disposal, Mrs. Oaks. That is the simplest part of the difficulty that con- fronts us. How can I serve you without further embarrass- ing you ? Mrs. O. I don't follow you. File. (Crossing L. thitikitig). I must not appear in this matter. As it is, Mr. Oaks views me, as you know, very much in the light of an intruder. Give me ten minutes time in which to mature a plan, and I promise you, all shall be as you desire. Mrs. O. Oh, Stuyvesant ! {Extends her hand). You will never know how much I appreciate your kindness in this hour. File. I don't want to know. It would only complicate things worse than ever. Mrs. O. In ten minutes then File. I will see you. 48 THE CLUB FRiEND ; Mrs. O. {Going tip C). Bless you, Stuyvesant ! FiLB. {Going L.). As you say — bless me, Stuyvesant. {E>iicr Frawley, L. i E.). Mrs. O. {Seeing him, and changing manner). Ah, Mr. Frawley, where is your wife } Fm looking tor her. Fraw. There she is saying good-bye to Doctor Jarvis. (^Exit Mrs. Oaks, L. i E.). FiLB. {Realizing Yk.\\w\.v.\'?, presence). Confound it ! Fd forgotten all about him. Fraw. Mr. Filbert, my son tells me you have something to say to me. FiLB. So I have, something very important. {Aside). Hang me if I remember what it was. Fraw. {Sitting on ottoman, €.). As a rule my son's an ass, and I don't pay any attention to him. File. That's just it. It's about your son. It grieves me very much to have him considered an ass. Fraw. Oh, it does, does it ? File. And there should be some remedy for it. Fraw. No doubt. FiLB. I am convinced your son has great abilities, they only want to be developed. Fraw. No doubt. I suppose if he were locked up in a hot house with plenty of fertilizer he'd develop one way or another— but I can't afford the hot house, and I'm out of fertilizers. FiLB. By Jove! I've got both the hot house, and the fertilizer. Fraw. I don't understand you. FiLB. I'm the hot house, and you're the fertilizer, Fraw. (indignant, — rising). Sir ! FiLB. {Putting him dowfi). I u\c3in, you're the hot house, and I'm the fertilizer. Fraw. {Looks at him dazed, — rising). Good-evening ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 49 FiLB. {Putting him down agaiti). Don't go — it's all right. You'll understand in a minute. I want to make you a plain up and down proposition. You can accept it, or you can decline it, but you've got to do it quick. Fraw. Fire away. FiLB. I want to go in with you on a scheme for making some money. Fraw. {Changing his manner). At last ! FiLB. {Sitting on ottoman by his side). I know that a man like you, with a brain so full of projects, must be wide- awake, and it's your wide-awakeness that has caught me. Have I your ear ? Fraw. You have. FiLB. I want to build up the house of Abram Oaks, and I want to build it up through you. Fraw. Through me } File. I want you to go into partnership with Mr. Oaks. Fraw. Me ? FiLB. You told me in the smoking-room a while ago, that you had had business talks with Mr. Oaks, and that he had told you, when you had money to invest, to come to him, and he'd give you all the opportunity you wanted. Fraw. Yes — but FiLB. Now's your time ! Fraw. Whose time .'' What do you mean } FiLB. As Mr. Oaks's business is not as prosperous as it has been, he will certainly entertain a proposition of partner- ship from a jnan who is willing to invest fifty thousand dol- lars. Fraw. Good Lord ! FiLB. I want you to invest fifty thousand dollars with Mr. Oaks. Fraw. Me ? FiLB. Yes— at once. Fraw. You're dreaming ! 50 THE CLUB FRIEND; FiLB. Not at all. Fraw. I haven't got fifty thousand cents ! FiLB. I didn't suppose you had. But you're going to have. Fraw. I'm going to have a fit, if you don't come to earth. FiLB. I'm going to give you fifty thousand dollars. Fraw. {Rising). What!! FiLB. Now keep cool, and let me explain. You are to represent me. With your business head, this money in a firm of as long standing as Mr. Oaks's ought to be a profit- able investment. You are to be responsible to me for fifty per cent, of your share of the profits. You don't doubt you can secure a partnership with Mr. Oaks .'' Fraw. Doubt it ! He'll fly at it ! I'll show him how the much despised Frawley can come to his rescue at the critical moment. FlLB. Certainly you will ; and you can pay back the money you borrowed of Maximilian. Fraw. In a flash, sir— in a flash! I'll teach that im- pertinent brat to dare dun his father for a few measly hun- dreds. FiLB. Measly hundreds indeed ! Fraw. When do I take hold.^ I mean — when do you FiLB. Hold on ! There are other conditions ! Fraw. Oh ! FiLB. But I think you will comply with them. Fraw. {Grasping his arm and taking him down R, C). Of course I will. What are they.? FiLB. In the first place I must not appear in this deal at all. Mr. Oaks doesn't like me, and I must be kept in the background, until he doesn't shy at the sight of me ; but before we do anything else, we must pay back Doctor Jarvis ten thousand dollars that we borrowed from him. OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. $l Fraw. Did we borrow ten thousand dollars of Jarvis ? FiLB. We did, very foolishly. Jarvis is the kind of man to go and talk about it, and the quickest way to shut his mouth is to pay him the money. Fraw. That's my idea exactly. FiLB. Now when we buy in fifty thousand dollars worth with Oaks we can give him Jarvis's receipt for ten thousand, and forty thousand in cash, can't we .'' Fraw. {Grasping arm again). Why, of course we can — in a flash — in a fiash ! FiLB. Let's start at once. Fraw. Eh } FiLB. Draw a check this minute for ten thousand, and nail Jarvis ! {Business, starting R. to desk ; stopping, turn- ing back). Fraw. Eh ? FiLB. Why do you hesitate .'' You can certainly draw a check } Fraw. I can summon spirits from the vasty deep ; but will they come when I do summon them ? Filb. {Going to desk R.). Your business is to summon them. I'll vouch for their coming, Fraw. But File. ( Taking out check book, writes and reads'). " Pay to Doctor Jarvis, ten thousand dollars." Sign this. Fraw. You're crazy. How can I draw a check on a bank I've no account in .-* Filb. But you have an account there. Do you see this? ( Writes out another check). " Pay to Makepeace Frawley, ten thousand dollars. Stuyvesant Filbert." This check I date to-day. You can deposit it in the morning. Your check is dated to-morrow ; so I can't take advantage of you. My only idea is to get square with Jarvis, for personal reasons. {Rising). To-morrow morning we meet at my lawyer's, draw up the terms of our agreement, and arrange 52 THE CLUB FRIEND; for the investment of the other forty thousand dollars. {Going L. C). All you've got to do is to sign that check. {Hands hz'm the second check, arid waits for the other). Fraw. Is that all ! Well, I can't lose by it, that's one sure thing. FiLB. Lose by it! (Putting him in chair). It is what is known in classic parlance as a lead pipe cinch. Fraw. Here goes for the cinch ! {He writes his name to check). File. {Aside). It's done. My name doesn't appear, and she will have the money for Jarvis to-morrow. Fraw. {Hands check to Filbert). {Enter Mrs. Oaks, Z.). Mrs. O. (r<7 Frawley). Oh, Mr. Frawley, Mr. Oaks is asking for you. Fraw. Oaks ! Good ! Good ! I'll go to him at once ! {Exit Frawley), Mrs. O. {Hurrying down / (To doctor). Dr. J. It is quite so. Oaks. Ten thousand dollars } Mrs. O. Ten thousand dollars. Oaks. And where did you succeed in getting so large a sum of money, and why have I not been told of it } Mrs. O. One question at a time. My motive in saying nothing to you I will explain some other time — as for the source whence I obtained the money, the check I have tendered the doctor will speak for itself. (Takes check from desk and gi7.>es it to Oaks). Oaks. What is this ! Frawley's check for ten thousand dollars ! Preposterous ! It is not worth the paper it is writ- ten on ! Dr. J. That is precisely the point I was arguing with Mrs. Oaks when you arrived. Mrs. O. But surely Mr: Frawley would not have given me a spurious check ! Oaks. Who and what prompted you to hasten the pay- 70 THE CLUB FRIEND; ment of this money to Doctor Jarvis ? And who and what prompted you to go to Frawley to get it ? Mrs. O. {Aside). What shall I say ? Oaks. You cannot answer! Then it is not to you I must look for my reply ! ( Vo/ce of Filbert heard quarrellitig with Sylvia). {Ejitcr Filbert and Sylvia). File, {To Sylvia). You will know all about her some day ! Syl. Don't you ever speak another word to me '. I hate you ! FiLB. {Seeing the others). Ah— this is an unexpected pleasure. Oaks. {Aghast. 77; Filbert). May I ask, sir, what particular and especial business it is, that has concealed you in the doctor's apartments at this hour .'' FiLB. I don't know that I am obliged to tell you that ! Mrs. O. {Manifests her nervoicsness to Filbert). Oaks. Perhaps you can throw some light on this check ? Filb. {Reads). " Pay to Doctor Jarvis or order ten thousand dollars. Signed, Makepeace Frawley." How does that concern me } Oaks. It does concern you ! I am not blind, sir ! {Enter Frawley, listens to cojiversation). Oaks. Your presence here and this check have some connection. What it is rests for you to explain ! Fraw. {Coming down). Let me explain. Oaks. (Putting him aside). Pardon me, but I wish to hear from Mr. Filbert. Fraw. But that's my check ! Oaks. Your check ! Why, your check isn't worth t)eans ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 71 Fraw. {Getting a)tgr)'). Not wortli beans ! I'll bet ten thousand dollars it's worth beans ! Tell them, Mr. Filbert, don't let them disparage my credit like this. File. Well, if Mr. Frawley insists upon having it told, I am willing. I didn't wish to expose his private affairs — I loaned him the money. Oaks. You did ! And you followed him here, I sup- pose, to see him pay it to Doctor Jarvis } File. I came here to demand an mterview with Doctor Jarvis. (Crossing to doctor who is at desk). He has disap- pointed me, and I must insist now on his being at my hotel at eight this evening. {Gives him card). Dr. J. Pardon me upon insisting on an explanation here and now. If my office has been used as a rendez- vous, I have a right to know it. File. What do j'ou mean } Dr. J. Mr. Oaks, allow me ! (Mr. Oaks holds out 7iote to Filbert). File. An anonymous note ! (Treads). " She will meet him at Doctor Jarvis's office at three to-morrow." Oaks. Now perhaps you will say that your being here with Mrs. Oaks is merely an accident ; and that your lend- ing Mr. Frawley ten thousand dollars to be given to Mrs. Oaks, is another accident. File. I know that writing ! {Puts note on desk). Dr. J. Well, sir ! File. (Aside). He is trying to compromise her ! (Aloud). No, gentlemen— since you have driven me to the wall, I must confess. Mrs. O. (Aside). What will he say ? File. I was reluctant about making this confession in public, but since I am compelled, all the better that it should be made in the presence of the relatives of Miss Sylvia Oaks. All. What do vou mean ! 7i2 THE CLUB FRIEND; FlLB, I hope you will not blame me, Mr. Oaks, for showing what must have appeared a strange interest in your affairs, when I tell you that I love your sister Sylvia, and ask her hand in marriage. Oaks. {Surprised.) Sir ! (Sylvia vianifcsts amazement). Dr. J. But this note, sir ! Explain ! FiLB. She will meet him at three o'clock in Doctor Jar- vis' office .'' Well, she has kept her appointment ; she has met him, hasn't she ? But it was mean, Doctor, of some- body, to have betrayed us ! Wasn't it ! {Slaps him on shoulder. Picture). CURTAIN. END OF ACT III. OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 73 ACT IV. SCENE : Filbert's apartments at his hotel. At rise of eiirtain the stage is clear. After a tno- ment enter Mrs. Oaks and MRS, Frawley, R. 2 E. Mrs. F. You are with me, Mrs. Oaks, so don't be ner- vous. Mrs. O. It is very easy for you not to be nervous ; but if, under the circumstances I have described to you, a gentle- man had suddenly proposed for the hand of your ward, you'd be a little nervous hunting him up yourself. Mrs. F. I have every confidence in Mr. Filbert. When he sent for me to call on him, and said if I did not find him in, to wait, I took it for granted that there were reasons why he couldn't call on me. {Enter Mabel Douglas, Z. 2 £".). Mabel Douglas. {About to remove her bonnet). Oh, I beg pardon. One of these ladies must be the one Mr. Fil- bert was expecting. Won't you be seated .'' {Both ladies are surprised). My name is Mabel — Mabel Douglas. No doubt Mr. Filbert has told you who I am. {Both ladies continue to exchaitge looks). One of you ladies is Maximilian's mother. That's you. {Referring to MRS. Frawley). Of course ! {Going to her and putting her in chair R. of table). I have so often wanted to know you, but both Mr. Filbert and Maximilian said that would come in due time. Of course Maximilian has spoken to you about it. Mrs. F. About what } (Mrs. O.goes up R. C, looking off R. U. E. tiervoiisl}'). 74 THE CLUB FRIEND ; Mab. About us, Mrs. F. Who am I to take to be— us? Mab. Why, Maximilian and me. Mrs. F. This is very singular, Miss Douglas. But he hasn't said a word. Mab. {Smiling). That's just like Max. Mr. Filbert al- ways says there's no knowing what Max will do, or what he wont do. I should have thought he would have told his mother, the first thing. Mrs. F. Told his mother what ? Mab. That he had obtained Mr. Filbert's consent. Mrs. F. Consent to what .? Mab. Why — whj? — to our engagement. Mrs. F, Whose engagement ? Mab. Maximilian's engagement to me ! Mrs. O. (Coming down R. Taking sudden part in the conversation). What has Mr. Filbert to do with the matter, that his consent should be necessary ? Mab. Oh, perhaps I ought to have begun at the begin- ning, but I thought surely yon knew all about Mr. Filbert before you came. Mr. Filbert is my father. Mrs. O. Your what ! Mab. Not my real, sure, father — but the only father I ever knew. He brought me up. He's been the kindest, sweetest father any girl ever had in the world. But I thought, of course, you knew all about this. Mrs. O. (T'^? Mrs. Frawley). This is certainly news to me, Mrs. Frawley, is it not to you ? Mrs. F. It is in part — not altogether. (Introdneing). Miss Douglas, this is Mrs. Oaks. Mab. (Innocently glad going to MRS. O., /?.). Oh, Mrs. Oaks, you are the lovely lady Mr. Filbert has so often spoken to me about. Sure enough, you have hazel eyes Mrs. O. Yes— and chestnut hair. Mae. I have often been jealous of you ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 75 Mrs. O. Indeed ! Mab. Yes, for you've no idea how many, many tinges Mr. Filbert has spoken about you. Oh, he'll be so pleased to see you when he comes. He's gone to get some papers to give Doctor Jarvis. He won't be long. Mrs. F. To give Doctor Jarvis } Mab. Yes. (^Gocs up C. Takes flowers from mantel, puts in vase on table up Z.). Mrs. F. {Aside to Mrs. O. Rising and going to her). Do you know who Doctor Jarvis is } Her father ! Mrs. O. {Surprised). No ! {Enter Maximilian, R. U. E). Max. Hello, mother ! What are you doing here } Mrs. F. That's what I should like to ask of you } Max. Why, you know. At least you ought to know — but, on second thoughts, how should you ? You would never hsten to me when I wanted to talk to you about these things. Mab. I have told your mother all about it, Max. Max. {Going up to her, C). How good of you, Mabel, it has saved me a deal of trouble. Mrs. F. {Crossing L.). You call it trouble, do you ? My boy, your trouble has only just begun. (Max. is talking to Mabel). {Enter Filbert, R. U. E., with papers). File. Hello — how's everybody ! Mab. {Running to him and embraciiig him). Papa Stuyve ! File. {Embarrassed). You mustn't, Mabel. Mab. Why not ? File. To be embraced by a young lady in the presence of other young ladies ; and to be called papa in this reckless fashion, may cut off all sorts of future possibilities ! 76 THE CLUB FRIEND; Mab. I don't understand you. Mrs. F. Don't distress yourself, Mr. Filbert; your daugh- ter has told us all. FiLB. Impossible ! She couldn't have told you all. She doesn't know all herself. {To Mabel, w/io has joined Max). Mabel ! Mab. {ComiJig down a trifle). Yes, papa Stuyve ! FiLB. Don''t ! Mabel, I see you have lassoed Maximil- ian ! Mab. Yes, papa Stuyve ! FiLB. Don't! Take Maximilian softly by the hand, and lure him into the adjoining room. I v^ant to talk with his mother. Mab. Yes, papa Stuyve ! FiLB. Dont! Mab, Come along, Max ! {Exeunt Max rt«^ Mabel, L. U. E.). File. Does Mrs. Oaks know who the young lady is, who calls me " papa Stuyve " .'' Mrs. F. I have told her. Filb. Good — then you know that "papa" is a title I have not earned, only acquired. Mrs. O. I do ! You may remember, or perhaps you have forgotten, that at about half-past three this afternoon, you asked the hand of my sister-in-law in marriage. Filb. True enough ! So I did ! Mrs. O. And immediately thereupon, you disappeared ! Filb. That's so — isn't it ! You can imagine how busy I've been. Mrs. O. Mr. Oaks has been cross-examining me ever since, and Sylvia, on being asked point blank by my husband whether she really wanted to marry j'ou, answered that she would not have you, if there wasn't another man on earth. Filb. You don't mean it ! OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 77 Mrs, O. Mr. Oaks is coming here to see you and in view of this, I have prevailed upon Mrs. Frawley to come with me and pay you this visit. You are forewarned — consequently, I trust, forearmed, and my duty is fulfilled. {^Starting to go). FiLB. {In comic fright). Surely you don't intend to let me cope with this situation single-handed ! Mrs. O. I certainly do ! FiLB. Then say at least, that I have your consent to marry Sylvia. Mrs. O. I will not answer that question, until Sylvia asks my consent to marry jv// .'' File. Oh ! Mrs. O. Which, as you know, she never will do. File. Well, this is a nice condition of affairs. Mrs. F. And now it is my turn. File. Et tu, Brute ! Mrs. F, {Leaning over table towards hint). Do you think it is right to let Maximilian entangle himself in a love affair, without giving me some idea of it first ? FiLB. What good would it have done to have given you an idea of it .'* Mrs. F. Has a mother no rights over her son ? FiLB. Not over such a son. Mrs. F, What do you mean ? FiLB. I mean some sons are not good for anything in the world but to get married. Mrs. F. {Rising). Sir ! FiLB. What good on earth would Mr. Frawley have been, if he hadn't married J'^jk.^ Mrs. F. Mr. Gilbert ! FiLB. And your son takes after his father! Mrs. F. {Going around back of table). I will send Mr. Frawley to you ; you and he can argue it out together. FiLB. Don't — please don't ! You don't know how diffi- 78 THE CLUB FRIEND; cult it is to argue with Mr. Frawley, it's like carrying on a conversation in a foreign language. {Ejitcr Frawley, R. U. E.). Fraw. Ah, he's at home. How are you, Filbert! What ai^ you doing here, Mrs. Frawley .'' Ah, Mrs. Oaks ! Mrs. F. Mr. Filbert wants to talk to you about Maximil- ian. Fraw. (Coming down, R.). Maximilian be blowed ! I've come here on business ! Mrs. F. {To Mrs. Oaks.) Come along, Mrs. Oaks, if these gentlemen are going to talk business, this is no place for us ! Mrs. O. Good-bye, Mr. Filbert ! We will drop in by-and-by, after you have seen Mr. Oaks. FiLB. Thank you ! {Exeunt Mrs. Oaks a7id Mrs. Frawley, R. U. E.) Fraw. Sit down, Mr. Filbert. I want some of your time. FiLB. Can't you take it standing.^ Fraw. No, sir. I want to tackle you from Alpha to Omega. When a man gets another to sign a check FiLB. Hold on. Your son Maximilian Fraw. Will you stop throwing that son of mine in my teeth ! FiLB. Your son Maximilian wants to get married. Fraw. He's a d d fool ! FiLB. He says you owe him some money, and he must have it. Fraw. The impertinent brat ! Does he dare dun his father ! FiLB. He says that you've put him off with promises from day to day, and if he can't get you to stump up now that he needs the money to get married, he'll bring suit. OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 79 Fraw, Bring- fiddle-sticks ! Does he forget I'm his father ? {Crossing L.). I'll pay him when 1 get ready. Do you understand ? P'lLB. When will that be ? Fraw. Mr. Filbert, you annoy me — do you understand ? — you worry me! Fve not come here to be worried! I want to speak to you about those checks! FlLB. Let us dispose of Maximilian's matter first. Fraw. What's Maximilian to you ? FiLB. I want him for a son-in-law ! Fraw'. Whose father's daughter do you want him to marry, to make him your son-in-law ! FlLH. My father's son's daughter by adoption. P'raw'. Draw me a diagram please, {JtamltJig Jiiin lead pencil) and I'll understand you. FiLi;. I have an adopted daughter, who is foolish enough to care for your son. Fraw. She must have graduated from the same brain department. FiLB. I won't let her marry him, until he has some money, so he's waiting for what you owe him. (Frawley enraged, tries to speak. SpeecJiless with rage). FiLR. Now you've got ten thousand in the bank Fraw. At last you're beginning to talk sense ! FiLB. You shall make your son, Mr. Frawley, a wedding present of those ten thousand dollars. Fraw. Never ! FiLB. Oh yes. Be reasonable. The money isn't yours. Fraw. What of it? FiLB. Then you can certainly afford to give it away. Fraw. You're trying to make a fool of me. FiLB. That would be impossible. Fraw. You made me sign a check that couldn't be used, for a consideration that I couldn't claim, and now you 8o THE CLUB FRIEND ; want me to give away this consideration when I tell you it isn't mine. What kind of a catch-as-catch-can game are you playing with me ? FiLB. Don't you see that by a roundabout way I want to put money in your son's pocket, to enable him to marry my adopted daughter ? Fraw. Well, let me understand. If I make my son a present of that money which doesn't belong to me, you'll get his receipt in full for all claims, real or imagined, he holds against his father up to date } FiLB. That's the idea. Fraw. Well, I'll do it. FiLB. I thought you would be reasonable. Fraw. I can't lose by it. At least I don't t/ihik I can lose by it. {Arguing it out with hi)nself, exits). {Servant having previously entered with card ; F I L- BERT takes card, nods to servant and goes to desk and writes. Exit servant.) {Enter Dr. Jarvis, R. U.E.). Dr. J. Mr. Filbert. FiLB. Ah, Doctor Jarvis ! Dr. J. I am here, Mr. Filbert, to demand that explana- tion from you which I was unable to obtain this afternoon at my office. FiLB. That suits me exactly. Won't you sit down ? Dr. J. {Sitting R.). To the point, at once 1 I refuse to accept the solution you gave to the situation this after- noon. I know that the money loaned for the payment of those ten thousand dollars to me, came from you ! FiLB. Indeed ! And what then ? Dr. J. I think too highly of Mrs. Oaks to allow her to be compromised by you ! FiLB. Since when has Doctor Jarvis become a defender of reputations .'' You mustn't affect this spirit of badinage OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 8i with me. (Dr. J. iurtts to him). There was a small boy once, who caught a fish, and as he dangled it, he exclaimed : " My, little fish, what a good time we are going to have to- gether ! " "Together?" cried the fish. "Not for me!" and it simply disentangled itself, and flopped back into the sea. Now I'll give you the choice of two things— for I might as well tell you that you are the fish : we can have fun together— or you can flop back into the sea. But you must choose quickly. Dr. J. If you knew me better, Mr. Filbert, you would know that this flippant vein of yours can have no effect on me ! FiLB. Doctor Jarvis, not only do I know you — but I can follow your career back to the time you were a student. It was in those days you became acquainted with Nellie Doug- las. Dr. J, And what then! {Ncrvotisly). FiLB. Ah, the fish approaches the hook ! Nellie Douglas came to you, a patient. She left you, a broken-hearted woman. Dr. J. Who has told you this ? FiLB. The fish is caught! Nellie Douglas told me her story in San Francisco — how she was ensnared by you into what she believed a marriage. How, after a few months, when you had grown tired of her, and found other fashion- able patients with whom you could " sympathize " you told her that your marriage was all a sham, and that you had been married before, and to convince her produced a certificate antedating your marriage with her. Nellie Douglas, instead of prosecuting you for bigamy, left you in despair, died broken-hearted, and bequeathed her child to me. Dr. J. {Rtsmg). Her child ! My God, man ! Where have you heard this ? FiLB. I have brought her up as my own. She has never known her father so that her young heart has never learned to hate the man who wronged her mother. 82 THE CLUB FRIEND; Dr. J. Where is this girl ? FiLB. You were summoned to her side yesterday during my absence by young Frawley. Dr. J. That beautiful girl.? My daughter — my child ! FiLB. Yes, but only in name. Dr. J. She is my child ! I was married to Nellie Doug- las. The certificate that I produced in order to make her cancel her marriage was only FiLB. Only a cheat ! Ah ! We've got it at last ! Dr. J. I— I— didn't say that ! FiLB. But I did ! I hold the spurious document which your wife gave me on her death-bed. I have examined the register. I find no such marriage recorded. The lie that rid you of your lawful wife is exposed — and now, Mr. Fish, will you dangle, or will you withdraw into the sea ? Dr. J. You have proved that I am the lawful father of that child, and I now claim her from you. File. {Risztig). Not so fast ! Before you deserted Nellie Douglas, you obtained — by a forged order — the money left her by her father ; five thousand dollars — which belongs to her child. Dr. J. {Sneering). Go on. FiLB. I have prepared a document which I want you to sign. I want to be constituted the legal, as I am already the established guardian, of Mabel Douglas. After you have signed this, I demand that you refund to your daugh- ter the dowry of her mother ; the five thousand dollars that started you on your fashionable career. Dr. J. If I refuse } FiLB. You do so as a forger ! {Doctor starts). If you accept, you do so as a friend and well wisher, and as a wise fish that knows its own sea. Dr. J. Shall I be denied the right of claiming my own child ? FiLB. ( With genuine touch of sentiment). Doctor Jar- OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 83 vis, let me appeal to that one spark of manhood which must survive in you in spite of all. You, and this innocent girl, have never known each other in the relation of father and daughter. Her heart has been won by others whom she love's, and who lovelier. Why should her life be blighted now, with a knowledge that could not come to her save with bitterness } (Dr. J., evidently moved, crosses afid si/s at desk ; writes. Business of Filbert motioning Mabel on). {Enter INIabel). FiLB. Little girl, this gentleman has just been very kind and good to you. Mab. Doctor Jarvis? FiLB He knew your mother very well, and cared tor her very very much. As an old friend of your mother's, he wants to see you happily provided for, and he has just presented you with a large sum of money, which 1 shall keep for you as a wedding present. (//.A//;/^ Mabel). He .s eoing to leave the city, so you won't be able to see hmi agam. So thank him for his kindness, and wish him a safe journey. Mab Oh '^ir, I thank vou so much ! If my dear mother were alive she would thank and bless you too. {Rtins to him and kneels to Jiini). Dr. J. {Overcome ; presses her head, rises, points to doc- uments on the desk for Filbert to see). {Exit DOCTOR jARVis, R. U. E. Mabel crossing to door R. U. E., looks after him). FILB. {After paused. And the fish fell back into the sea. {Enter OAKS, R. U. E.). OAKS. I hope I 'm not interrupting a delightful family scene. File. Not at all. 84 THE CLUB FRIEND; {Enter Max, L. U. E). Max. May I come in ? Oaks. {Bows). I came to see FiLB. Yes, I know. You needn't go, children. We'can combine business with pleasure. Mr. Oalis wishes to talk to me on a matter that's going to interest us all/ Oaks. I don't understand. FiLB. Let me conduct the case, Mr. Oaks. The first question you are going to ask me is : Why I loaned Mr. Frawley those ten thousand dollars which Jarvis declined } Those ten thousand dollars are now the property of Mr. Maximilian Frawley ; it is to serve him after all, that the whole scheme was cooked up by Mr. Frawley. He wanted me to help him buy into your business, that his son Maxi- milian might be restored to his place. Oaks. All on account of Maximilian ! FiLB. Yes. There stands the hero. Max. (Proudly to Mabel). Here stands the hero. FiLB. And the next question you are going to ask, is: Why my interest in Maximilian? He is going to marry my adopted daughter. Oaks. Your adopted daughter! FiLB. Miss Mabel Douglas. And now, Mr. Oaks, if you will entertain it, I am prepared to make you a business propo- sition on behalf of my future son-in-law, tending to his secur- ing a foothold in the firm of Abram Oaks & Co. Oaks. This sounds something like sense. I couldn't un- derstand the thing at all from the way old Frawley put the case the other day. FiLB. That's his trick of muddling things. Oaks. And now Mr, Filbert, there remains one point more. FiLB. Oh, yes. I divine that. Perhaps we might as well discuss that between ourselves. Mabel, dear, if you OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 85 could find something to do, that would enlist the joint ser- vices of Maximilian Max. ( IVilh a gleam of intelligaice), I understand. You want us to go. FiLB. How quick he is to take a hint ! Mab. All right, papa Stuyve. {Ei)ibraces hivi). (At the embrace, enter Sylvia, A'. U. E. She sta7ids at back). {Exeunt Max and Mabel). Syl. Abram, Evelyn's downstairs, and sent me up to find you. I don't know why. FiLB. I wonder if I could guess? Syl. ( Turns up her nose and walks by hint, R. U. E.). Oaks. Mr. Filbert, Sylvia is, as you know, the subject we were about to discuss. (Pause). Shall we continue ? Syl. Fd rather not be discussed by Mr. Filbert. FiLB. I did myself the honor of asking Sylvia's hand in marriage. I am anxiously awaiting your consent. Oaks. What do you say, Sylvia } Syl. I have already told you my answer. Oaks. In that case, Mr. Filbert, there is nothing for me to do. File. Yes, there is. Oaks. What.? FiLB. You won't be offended if I tell you ? Oaks. Certainly not ! FlLB. Disappear ! Oaks. Disappear } FiLB. Yes — into the adjoining room. Here's a news- paper. Baseball — politics — the tariff bill — divorce suits — all sorts of cheerful things. The Giants are way ahead— but maybe you don't care for baseball ? (Oaks laughs and exits, R.) 86 THE CLUB FRIEND; Syl. {Alar vied, starts to rim after him. FiLBERT catches her by the skirt and detains her). Syl. Let go of my dress. File. Not until you promise you won't run off. Syl. I promise nothing. Release me ! FiLB. You are released — but I conjure you remain ! Syl. You think that sounds impressive, don't you .'' But I refuse to be conjured ! Filb. Then I beseech! Syl, 1 refuse to be beseeched ; I mean besought ! FiLB. Then I implore you to remain! Syl. What do you want me to remain for.-" FiLB. For ever ! Syl. You think because you can say odd and unexpected things that you can trample upon one's feelings and then frolic one back into good humor— but you can't with me. I have discovered the kind of man you are, and I never want to speak to you again ! (Goes up R. C). Filb. So I have understood ! Theoretically, we have parted forever ; you go your way, and I mine ! Theoreti- cally I am unworthy ever again to face those smiling eyes — theoretically. But practically, Sylvia, there is a mistake somewhere, and we must find it and correct it; and, as the dentists say, extract it without pain to the sitter. Syl. It's not only one mistake; there are twenty. In fact, for fear I might forget them, I have written them all down on a sheet of paper, so no blandishments of yours will avail to wipe them out ! {Takes out folded sheet of tinted note paper) . Filb. Let me see them. Syl. No ! Filb. They can't be very terrible if you need a written document to refresh your memory. Syl. Not to refresh my memory — but to hold me to my purpose. OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 87 FiLB. Name a few of my crimes. Begin with the worst ones. Syl. (Sii/ing L. of table). The greatest of all is your confession that you cared for some one else. File. Yes.? Syl. Whom I saw you embracing as I entered the room ! FiLB. Oh, you saw me embracing her."* Syl. Yes. FiLB. That is the young lady who is going to marry Maximilian Frawley. She is my adopted daughter, Syl. Max — your — adopted — daughter ! Is that the truth ? FiLB. It is, Sylvia. Syl. Well, then, for No. 2. When you met me at Doc- tor Jarvis's (suddenly getting back) — why didn't you tell me about this before ? Filb. Because I was trying to find the girl's real father. Syl. And did you find him .'' Filb. [After a pause). No! Syl. Well, then, for No. 3 on my list. Filb. We haven't had number two yet ! Syl. I forgot ! But tell me — were you very fond of her — your adopted daughter ? Filb. Very, very fond — as your father must be of you, Syl. Only as a father ? Filb. Why, of course, you silly little thing! Syl. Well, then, for No. 4. Filb. No, I refuse to be jumped from No. i to No. 4. You had better consult that list ; in fact, it will save time for me to consult it myself, ( Takes it from her). Syl. (After an attempt at resisting, resigned). I don't retract any of those charges ! (Goes dowji L.). Filb. Why, this is a funny sort of list ! (Reads). "Dear Mrs. Frawley." Syl. What's that } (In alarm). 88 THE CLUB FRIEND ; FiLB. " As I first met Mr. Filbert through your introduc- tion, I must take you into my confidence " Syl. Give me back that letter ! FiLB. {Cotitinues reading). " I shall never in my life care for another man as I care for him." Syl. {Ge/s the letter). I must have sent Mrs. Frawley the list by mistake ! FiLB. {Embracing her). Not by mistake. On purpose to let me hear your own sweet confession ! Sylvia, from the first moment I set eyes on you, I felt for you a tender sympathy deeper than words can tell you. Syl. Is that true } File. I love you and want you to be my little wife. Sylvia, will you take me for your very own } Syl. (Jiesitating .) I-d-d don't know — I think FiLB. Let me hold you tight, while you're thinking. {Em- braces her). {Enter Mrs. Frawley, R. U. E.). Mrs. F. I beg your pardon ! Both. Mrs. Frawley ! Mrs. F. I received a mysterious letter at the house, just now — not signed. I can't make it out at all, but as it has your name on it, Mr. Filbert, I thought you might explain. File. (Taking paper from Mrs. Frawley). It's my list of crimes against Sylvia— for all of which I now atone. [Embracing her). Mrs. F. Indeed, I congratulate you. {Enter Mrs. 0.\ks). Mrs. O. Where is Mr. Oaks ? FiLB. Been, and gone, and left me Sylvia. Have I your consent ? Mrs. O. You know what I told you— not until Sylvia shall ask for it. OR, A FASHIONABLE PHYSICIAN. 89 FiLB, Sylvia, repeat what I shall say. "Evelyn, I love Mr. Filbert, may I have him for keeps ? " Syl. Evelyn — (Pause). Those are my sentiments. (Filbert kisses her behind her hat which he lifts off her head. OAKSjoi/!s Mrs. Oaks, Frawley has entered at back with Max and Mabel — Picture). CURTAIN. Christmas Plays FOR Homes and Parishes. collection of Plays and Entertainments specially arranged for Church and Home Amusement ut Christmas-tide. Any of the above can be successfully used at any other season than Christmas, thesy being so arranged that the part relative to Christmafl can be omitted. The Plays are very brigbt aud attractive, and all permit the employment of quite a number of juvenile characters who do not have long and difiBcult ''parts '* to commit to mfniiory. The arrauyements for Sceuery are simple and inexpensive, XEd the Stage Directions are so full and explicit that the merest tyro in amateur theatricals will experience no difficulty in comprehending them. I*rice 35 Oents. MRS. JARLEY'S WAX FIGURES. Not the worn-out ' ' original, " but a fresh version, introducing new haracters and fresh descriptive matter, and giving a diagram of the igfage set and the arrangement of the figures, with full directions for the costumes and "make-up " of all. Requires six male and six female sharaoters, aud makes an entertainment of about an hour in length. l»rice 1 5 Oents. j|9*Single copies of either of the above books sent, post-paid, on receipt of price. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS M J^J>?^.^JPj^#Pj&fc iB_''0''g 0'47""9"" 4 FOR W AMATEURS 1 — ^ Our Catalogue contains Jj^ lists and descriptions of thousands of '^ Plays, Dramas, Farces, Dialogues, ^ Recitations, Books of Indoor and Out- ^ door Games, Sports, Amusements and % Entertainments, .^1^^ ^ Athletics, Gymnas- jfl^Vk ^ tics, etc., etc. ' • .* • WE SEND THIS CATALOGUE FREE I I The De Witt ^ Publishing House, 33 Rose Street, c^ New-York.