ine ^^Ic^'.'-*'" Rtf^tf^lr d^ Rnnk P^ Gop}'rightN°. COPyRIGHT DEPOSrr. THE DICKENS YEAR BOOK X; '^i-^vcx/vvo j v-'-vvi*/! The Dickens year Book COMPILED BY LOIS E. PRENTISS AND GERTRUDE C. SPAULDING ILLUSTRATIONS BY DAN SAYRE GROESBECK CHICAGO A. C. McCLURG & CO. 1913 7K 4^^^ T7 Copyright A. C. McCLURG & CO. 1913 Published March, 1913 //^ ©CI.A343539 CHARLES DICKENS Born, February 7, 1812 Died, June 9, 1870 Oh rare Charles Dickens ! You found us well, but you left us Weller." Janua^ I HAVE faith, and I wish to diffuse faith in the exist- ence of beautiful things — yes, even in those con- ditions of society which are degenerate, degraded and forlorn. I take it that we are born, and that we hold our sympathies, hopes and energies in trust for the Many and not for the Few. That we cannot hold in too strong a light of disgust and contempt, before our own view and that of others, all meanness, falsehood, cruelty, and oppression of every grade and kind. Above all, that nothing is high because it is in a high place, and that noth- ing is low because it is in a low place. This is the lesson which we may read alike in the bright track of the stars, and in the dusty course of the poorest thing that drags its tiny legs upon the ground. — Charles Dickens: Address at Hartford, Conn., 1842. The Dickens year Book Janua0^ "There's milestones on the Dover road!" — Mr. F/s Aunt *' Run a moist pen slick through everything, and start afresh." — Dick Swiveller Annual income, twenty pounds, annual expenditure, nineteen, nineteen six, result happiness. Annual in- come, twenty pounds, annual expenditure, twenty pounds, aught and six, result, misery. The blossom is blighted, the leaf is withered, the god of day goes down upon the dreary scene and — and, in short, you are forever floored." — Mr. Micawber My friends, peace be upon this house ! On the master thereof, on the mistress thereof, on the young maidens and on the young men! My friends, why do I ask for peace? What is peace? Is it war? No. Is it strife? No. Is it lovely and gentle and beautiful and pleasant and serene and joyful? Oh, yes! There- fore, my friends, I wish for peace, upon you and upon yours." — Mr. Chadband JlaimEap^ " I ast your pardon, ma'am, sez Mrs. Harris, and I humbly grant your grace, for if ever a woman lived as would see her fellow-creeturs into fits to serve her friends, well do I know that woman's name is Sairey Gamp." — Mrs. Gamp Errands gone On with fi Delity by Ladies and Gentlemen I remain Your humble servt Silas Wegg." — Silas Wegg " Water in the wash-hand basin 's a mask o' ice, sir. Fine time for them as is well wrapped up, as the Polar Bear said to himself, ven he was practising his skating." — Sam Weller If this here lasts much longer, Sammy, I shall feel it my duty as a human bein' to rise and address the cheer. There 's a young 'ooman on the next form but two, as has drank nine breakfast cups and a half and she 's a-swellin' wisably before my wery eyes." — Mr. Weller, Sr. Jfamiuiaig^ All was over in a moment. I had fulfilled my destiny. I was a captive and a slave. I loved Dora Spenlow to distraction. ... I was swallowed up in an abyss of love in an instant. There was no pausing on the brink — no looking down or looking back ; I was gone, headlong, before I had sense to say a word to her." — David Copperfield m What 's the good of references? It *s no satisfaction to be done by two men instead of one. One 's enough. A person who can't pay gets another person who can't pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a per- son with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he 's got two natural legs. It don't make either of 'em able to do a walking match." — Mr. Pancks — lii " Whether twenty Romuluses made a Remus, or hie, haec, hoc was troy weight, or a verb always agrees with an ancient Briton, or three times four was Taurus, a bull, were open questions with him." — Of Paul Dombey With the exception of the heel of a Dutch cheese — which is not adapted to the wants of a young family — there is really not a scrap of anything in the larder. I was accustomed to speak of the larder when I lived with papa and mamma, and I use the word almost unconsciously. What I mean to express is, that there is nothing to eat in the house." — Mrs. Micawber Wishing that your elth may be better than your looks, which your inside must be bad indeed if it's on the footing of your out." — Mrs. Badger Sorry, partner, that you're not picking up faster, but your soul 's too large for your body, sir ; that 's where it is.'* — Silas Wegg " You are troubled with remorse until the last act, then you make up your mind to destroy yourself. But just as you are raising the pistol to your head, a clock strikes ten. . . . You pause. You recollect to have heard a clock strike ten in your infancy. The pistol falls from your hand — you are overcome — you burst into tears, and become a virtuous and exemplary character forever afterwards." — Nicholas Nickleby -23 Mr. Limbkins, I beg your pardon, sir, Oliver Twist has asked for more ! ' " " There was a general start. Horror was depicted on every countenance. " * For more ! Compose yourself, Bumble, and an- swer me distinctly. Do I understand that he asked for more after he had eaten the supper allotted by the dietary?' " * He did, sir.' " * That boy will be hung ! I know that boy will be hung ! ' " — From Oliver Twist ' My name 's Jack Bunsby ! And what I says I stands to. Whereby, why not? If so, what odds? Can any man say otherwise? No. Awast then." — Captain Bunsby '* Tuesday. D. weak and nervous. Beautiful in pallor. (Do we not remark this in moon likewise? J. M.) D., J. M., and J. took airing in carriage. J. looking out of window and barking violently at dustman, oc- casioned smile to overspread features of D. (Of such slight links is chain of life composed! J. M.)." — Julia Mills " Wednesday. D. comparatively cheerful. Sang to her as congenial melody, Evening Bells. Effect not soothing but reverse. D. inexpressibly affected. In- stead, recited verses about self and young gazelle. Ineffectually. Also referred to Patience on Monu- ment. (Qy. Why on monument? J. M.)." — Julia Mills -m Mrs. Corney, ma'am, I mean to say this, ma'am, — that any cat, or kitten, that could live with you, ma'am, and not be fond of its home, must be an ass, ma'am." — Mr. Bumble Copperfield, you are a true friend ; but when the worst comes to the worst no man is without a friend who is possessed of shaving materials." — Mr. Micawber -E Within the first week of my passion I bought four sump- tuous waistcoats and took to wearing straw-colored kid gloves in the streets, and laid the foundations of all the corns I have ever had. If the boots I wore at that period could only be produced and compared with the natural size of my feet, they would show what the state of my heart was in a most affecting manner." — David Copperfield -B " Put me in the dock anywhere — I don't care where — and I says, ' My Lord, I am an honest man.' Put me in the witness-box anywhere — I don't care where — and I says the same to his lordship, and I kisses the book. I don't kiss my coat-cuff. I kisses the book." — Rogue Riderhood -m- Was you thinking at all of poetry?'" " * Would it come dearer? ' " * It would come dearer ; for when a person comes to grind off poetry night after night, it 's but right he should expect to be paid for its weakening effect on the mind.' " — Silas Wegg -ii Samivel Veller, sir, has conferred upon me the ancient title of grandfather vich had long laid dormouse and was supposed to be nearly hextinct in our family." — Mr. Weller, Sr. Jfamiiyiag^ " There are some low minds (not many, I am happy to be- lieve, but that are some) that would prefer to do what / should call bow down before idols. Positively idols; before services, intellects and so on. But these are intangible points. Blood is not so. We see blood in a nose and we know it. We meet with it in a chin and we say, * There it is ! That 's blood ! * " — Mrs. Henry Spiker m His manner was so bland. . . . though he had merely said, * A verb must agree with its nominative case in number and person, my good friend,' or * Eight times eight are sixty-four, my worthy soul,' anyone must have felt deeply grateful to him for his humanity and wisdom." — Of Mr. Pecksniff " * The very first time I saw that admirable woman, John- son, she stood upon her head on the butt end of a spear, surrounded with blazing fireworks.' " * You astonish me ! ' " * She astonished me! Such grace, coupled with such dignity ! I adored her from that moment.' " — Vincent Crummies Mr. Micawber's difficulties are almost overwhelming just at present, and whether it 's possible to bring him through them, I don't know. When I lived at home with papa and mamma, I really should have hardly JJamtuiag^ understood what the word meant, in the sense in which I now employ it ; but * Experentia does it,' as papa used to say." — Mrs. Micawber "My own, I sez, has fallen out of three-pair backs and had damp doorsteps settle on their lungs and one was turned up smiling in a bedstead, unbeknown. There- fore, ma'am, I sez, seek not to proticipate, but take 'em as they come and as they go. Mine is all gone, and as to husbands, there 's a wooden leg gone like- wise home to its account, which in its constancy of walking into wine-vaults, and never comin' out again till fetched by force, was quite as weak as flesh, if not weaker." — Mrs. Gamp But do I see afore me him as I ever sported with in his times of happy infancy? And may I? — Ma^ I?" — Mr. Pumblechook " He often informed Mrs. Todgers that the sun had set upon him; that the billows had rolled over him; that the car of Juggernaut had crushed him ; and also that the deadly Upas tree had blighted him." — Augustus Moddle .m " It 's difficult to impart the receipt for punch, because however particular you may be in allotting your ma- terials, so much will still depend upon the individual gifts, and there being a feeling thrown into it. But the groundwork is gin." — Mr. Venus -m JmM.B^ No malice to dread, sir, And I forgot what to cheer. But truth to delight me And I forget what to cheer. Li toddle de om dee, And something to guide, My ain fireside, sir, My ain fireside." — Silas Wegg Jebrua^ HAVE always had and always shall have an earnest and true desire to contribute, as far as in me lies, I to the common stock of healthful cheerfulness and enjoyment. — Charles Dickens lebrua^ " Any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness." — C. D. W 1 Captain Swosser always used to say of me that I was better than land ahead and a breeze astern to the mid- shipment's mess, when the purser's junk had become as tough as the foretopsel weatherings." — Mrs. Badger Shakespeare dramatized stories which had previously appeared in print, it is true.' " * Meaning Bill, sir? So he did. Bill was an adapter certainly, so he was; and very well he adapted, too, considering/ " — Mr. Timberry -ia ** If ever man combined within himself all the mild quali- ties of the lamb with a considerable touch of the dove and not a dash of the crocodile or the least possible suggestion of the very mildest seasoning of the ser- pent, that man was he." — Of Mr. Pecksniff I've only got to say this here,' said Sam, stopping short, * that if I was the proprietor o' the Markis o' Granby, and that 'ere Stiggins came and made toast in my bar, I'd — ' "*What?' interposed Mr. Weller, with great anx- iety, 'What?' " * Pison his rum and water,' said Sam. " * No ! ' said Mr. Weller, shaking his son eagerly by the hand, *would you raly, Sammy; would you, though?' " * I would,' said Sam. *I would n't be too hard on him at first. I'd drop him in the water butt, and put the lid on and, if I found him insensible to kindness, I'd try the other persvation.' " — The Wellers Vich is your particular wanity? Vich wanity do you like the flavor on best? " — Sam Weller Betsy ! Drink fair, wotever you do ! " — Mrs. Gamp How I envy you your constitution! You are ready at all times to go anywhere and do anything! Such is Will ! I have no Will at all — and no Won't ; — sim- ply Can't." —Harold Skimpole " Mr. Tibbs was to his wife what the o is in go : he was of sonte importance ivith her ; he was nothing without her. Mrs. T. was always talking. Mr. T. rarely spoke ; but if it were at any time possible to put in a word, he should have said nothing at all ; he had that talent." — Sketches by Boz I have seen him again and again, his spoon a perfect fix- ture in his mouth, looking at your sister. I have seen bnjia] him standing in a corner of the drawing-room gazing at her in such a melancholy state that he was more like a pump than a man and might have drawed tears." »?^ . — Mrs. Todgers _lia " They 're always at it. And as for Marseilles, we know what Marseilles is. It sent the most insurrectionary tune into the world that ever was composed. It could n't exist without allonging and marchonging to victory or death or blazes or somewhere." — Mr. Meagles -ill Marsh . . . seated in an arm-chair . . . inces- santly crying out, * I am dead.' To which the women servants said, with great pathos (and some appearance of reason), ' No, you ain't, Marsh.' To which he per- sisted in replying, * Yes, I am ; I'm dead.' Some neighboring vagabond was impressed to fetch the Doctor, who said (the patient and his consolers being anxious that the heart should be the scene of afflic- tion), * stomach.' " — Letters So she makes all the apple pasties and does all the cooking, does she? . . . Perhaps you might be writing to her? ' " * I shall certainly write to her.' " * Ah. Well, if you was writing to her, perhaps you 'd recollect to say that Barkis was willing, would you?' " * Is that all the message? ' " ' Ye-es — Barkis is willing.' " — Mr. Barkis and David Copperfield J^feriuiay My dear Peggotty : — I have come here safe. Barkis is willing. My love to mamma. Yours affectionately. P. S. He says he particularly wants you to know — Barkis is willing.*' — David Copperfield Lovely creetur : — I feel myself ashamed and completely circumscribed in addressin' of you, for you are a nice girl, and nothing but it. Afore I see you I thought all women was alike. But now I find what a reg 'lar soft-headed, ink'red'lous turnip I must 'a been; for there ain't nobody like you, though / like you better than nothing at all. So I take the privilege of the day, Mary, my dear, to tell you that the first and only time I see you, your likeness was took on my hart in much quicker time and brighter colors than ever a likeness was took by the profeel machine, altho' it does finish a portrait and put the frame and glass on complete, with a hook at the end to hang it up by, and all in two minutes and a quarter. " Except of me, Mary, my dear, as your walentine and think over what I have said. My dear Mary, I will now conclude." — Sam Weller * Do you like the name of Nicodemus? ' " ' It is not, sir, a name as I could wish anyone I had respect for to call me by. But there may be persons that would not view it with the same objections.* "'What's your name?' bnnap^ " * Silas Wegg. I don*t know why Silas, and I don't know why Wegg/ " — Mr. Boffin and Silas Wegg Did its mothers make it up a beds then? And did its hair grow brown and curly, when its caps was lifted off and frighten it a precious pets a-sitting by the fire ? " — Tillie Slowboy " My feelings will not consent to be smothered like the young children in the tower. The more I press the bolster the more they look round the corner of it." — Mr. Pecksniff 'Four Somethingean singers ranged themselves in front of a small apple-tree to look picturesque and com- menced singing their national songs, which appeared by no means difficult of execution, inasmuch as the grand secret seemed to be that three of the Some- thingean singers should grunt while the fourth howled." — From Pickwick Papers m Mrs. Crupp had indignantly assured him that there was n't room to swing a cat there; but as he justly observed to me, ' You know, Trotwood, I don't want to swing a cat. I never do swing a cat. Therefore what does that signify to me? ' " — Mr. Dick m " You 're a brimstone Idiot. You *re a scorpion — a brimstone scorpion ! You *re a sweltering toad. pfennap^ You *re a chattering, clattering broomstick witch that ought to be burned." — Grandfather Smallweed -R1 " ' I don't believe there 's no sich a person ! * " * What ! you bage creetur, have I knowed Mrs. Harris five and thirty years, to be told at last that there ain't no sech a person living? Have I stood her friend in all her troubles great and small to come at last to sech a end as this, which her own sweet picter hang- ing up afore you all the time, to shame your Bragian words ! But well you may n't believe there 's no sech a creetur, for she would n't demean herself to look at you; and often has she said, when I have made men- tion of your name, which to my sinful sorrow I have done, ' What, Sairey Gamp ! Debage yourself to her!*" —Mrs. Gamp * Bought him at a sale. Eight wollumes. Red and gold. Purple ribbon in every woUume to keep the place where you leave off. Do you know him? ' " * The book's name, sir? ' " * I thought you might have knowed him without it. His name is Decline-and-Fall-off the Rooshian Em- pire.' '* -- Mr. Boffin My friends, what is this which we behold as being spread before us? Refreshment. Do we need refresh- ment, then, my friends? We do. And why do we need refreshment, my friends? Because we are but mortal, because we are but sinful, because we are but pbima^ of the earth, because we are not of the air. Can we fly, my friends? We can not." - Mr. Chadband _R1 " * Very pleasant premises.' " * Pardon me. It is the abode of conscious though independent poverty.' " - Mrs. Wilfer " * You are master here, R. W., it is as you thmk, 4. »r.j Ar^*» — The Same not as I do. ^P ' " I have no doubt you know already not only because I have thrown it out in a general way but because I feel I carry it stamped in burning what 's-his-names upon my brow that before I was introduced to the late Mr. F. I had been engaged to Arthur Clennam •^Mr, Clennam in public where reserve is necessary. Arthur here. -Flora Finching Dear boy and Pip's comrade, I 'm not a-going for to tell you my life, like a song or a story book. But to give it to you short and handy I ^11 put it at once into a mouthful of English: In jail and out of jail, in jail and out of jail, in jail and out of jail. There you 've got it ; that 's my life." - Magwitch *Well,' said Sam, 'he's in a horrid state o' love; reg'larly comfoozled, and done over with it. Here 's Mr. Vinkle reg'larly sewed up with desperation, Miss.' " * Ah! ' said Arabella, drawing nearer the wall. pbiraap^ " * Ah, indeed,' said Sam. * Ve thought ve should ha' been obliged to strait- veskit him last night ; he 's been a-ravin* all day ; and he says if he can't see you afore tomorrow night 's over, he vishes he may be somethin' unpleasanted if he don't drownd hisself.' " — Sam Weller -l^ And with regard to being spruce, that 's where the ag- gravation of it is. Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he 's well-dressed. There ain't much credit in that. If I was very ragged and very jolly then I should begin to feel I had gained a point." — Mark Tapley " The chairman felt it his imperative duty to demand of the honorable gentleman, whether he had used the expression which had just escaped him in a common sense. " Mr. B. had no hesitation in saying that he had not. He had used the word in its Pickwickian sense. (Hear, hear!) He entertained the highest regard and esteem for the honorable gentleman and merely con- sidered him a humbug in the Pickwickian point of view." — From Pickwick Papers f>S^s:'■:;./w•>■^*<■---:^'',■S'y1"Pji■ Z^!^MW^i?^^W^ JV^arch HARLES DICKENS—the philanthropist who has conferred the greatest happiness on the greatest number. — Thurlow Weed JV^arch Her Bible was bound, like her own construction of it, in the hardest, barest and straitest boards, with one dinted ornament on the cover like the drag of a chain, and a sprinkling of red upon the edges of the leaves — as if it, of all books! were a fortification against sweetness of temper, natural affection and gentle in- tercourse." Mrs. Clennam Well, be it so, or be it son 't, you must be a common scholar afore you can be a oncommon one. The king upon his throne, with his crown upon his head, can't sit and write his Acts of Parliament in print, without having begun, when he were a unpromoted prince, with the alphabet — begun at A too, and worked his way to Z." — Joe Gargery 'It's the seasoning as does it. They're all made o' them noble animals ' pointing to a nice little tabby kitten, * and I seasons 'em for beefsteak, weal or kid- ney, according to the demand. And more than that, I can make a weal a beefsteak, or a beefsteak a kid- ney, or any one on 'em a mutton at a minute's notice as the market changes and tastes wary.' " — Sam Weller Captain Cuttle is my name and England is my nation. This here is my dwelling-place and blessed be cre- ation :— Job." — Captain Cuttle ]%ireh It is not the custom to put the knife in the mouth — for fear of accidents — and while the fork is reserved for that use, it is not put farther in than necessary. Also, the spoon is not generally used overhand but under. This has two advantages : you get at your mouth bet- ter (which, after all, is the object) and you save a good deal of the attitude of opening oysters on the part of the right elbow." — Herbert Pocket If at the sacrifice of all my property I could get trans- migrated into Miss Dombey's dog, I — I really think I should never leave off wagging my tail ! Mine ain't a selfish affection, you know, it 's the sort of thing with me that if I could be run over — or trampled upon — or — or thrown off a very high place — or anything of that sort, for her sake, it would be the most delight- ful thing that could happen to me." — Mr. Toots Wot does he mean by the soft sex, Sammy? ' " * The womin.' " * He ain't far out there, Sammy. They must be a soft sex if they let themselves be gammoned by such fellers as him — a wery soft sex indeed.* " — Mr. Weller, Sr. " Ever the best of friends, ain't us, Pip? Well, then, that 's all right. That 's agreed upon. Why go into subjects, old chap, which as betwixt two sech must be i^fclh forever onnecessary? Inere 's enough subjects as be- twixt two sech, without onnecessary ones." — Joe Gargery " Now I ain't alone, as you may think I am. There 's a young man hid with me in comparison with which I am a Angel. That young man hears the words I speak. He has a secret way, pecoolier to himself, of getting at a boy's heart and liver. It is in wain for a boy to attempt to hide from that young man. I am a keeping him from harming of you now. I find it wery hard to hold that young man off your insides." — Pip's Convict -lia " He came in here, ordered a glass of this ale — Tvould order it — I told him not — drank it, and fell dead. . . . You see our people don't like things being ordered and left. It offends 'em. But I '11 drink it, if you like. I 'm used to it, and use is everything. I don't think it '11 hurt me, if I throw my head back and take it off quick. Shall I? " — The Obliging Waiter in David Copperiield " When a young lady 's as mild as she 's game and as game as she 's mild, that 's all I ask and more than I expect. She then becomes a queen, and that 's about what you are yourself." — Inspector Bucket -m Was there ever such a Roman as our friend Chiv? Was there ever a man of such purely classical turn of Marolhi thought, and of such a toga-like simplicity of nature? Might he not, gents both, have sat upon a tripod in the ancient times and prophesied to a perfectly un- limited extent, if previously supplied with gin-and- water at the public cost? " — Mr. Tigg -m Bones warious. Skulls warious. Preserved Indian baby. African ditto. Bottled preparations warious. What's in them hampers? I don't quite remember. Say human warious. Cats. Articulated English baby. Dogs. Glass eyes, warious. Ducks. Mummied birds. Cuticle warious." — Mr. Venus -m Mrs. Harris, I sez to her, don't name the charge, for if I could afford to lay all my fellow-creeturs out for nothink, I would gladly do it, sich is the love I bears 'em. But what I always sez to them as has the man- agement of matters, be they gents or be they ladies, is, don't ask me whether I won't take none or whether I will, but have the bottle on the chimbley-piece and let me put my flps to it when I am so dispoged." — Mrs. Gamp Ho, yes! My only becoming occupations is to help young flaunting pagins to brush and comb and titi- wate themselves into whitening sepulchres and leave the young men to think there ain't a bit o' padding in it, nor pinchings-in, nor fillings-out, nor pomatums, nor deceits nor earthly wanities, ain't it, Miss?" — Miss Miggs -IS " I am well aware that I am the umblest person going, let the other be where he may. My mother is like- wise umble. We live in a umble abode, but we have much to be thankful for. My father's former calling was umble; he was a sexton. Umble we are, umble we have been, and umble we shall ever be. We know our station and are thankful in it." Uriah Heep " A pale, puffy-faced, dark-haired person of 30 with big, dark eyes that wholly wanted luster, and a dissatis- fied, doughy complexion, that seemed to ask to be sent to the baker's." _ Of Bazzard " He has such an obvious disposition to pimples, that the bright spots on his cravat, the rich pattern on his waistcoat, and even his glittering trinkets, seemed to have broken out upon him, and not to have come into existence comfortably." _ Qf George Chuzzlewit " If he were really not in the habit of drinking more than was exactly good for him, he might have brought an action against his face for libel and have recovered heavy damages." _ Of Fang I don't care whether it 's unsportsmanlike or not, I 'm not going to be shot in a wheelbarrow for the sake of appearances to please anybody.' " -^j. pickwick IE! *' He 's a-breaking his heart for her and I would wish to take the liberty to ask how it 's to be made good to his parents when bust? He played with her as a child when in that yard a child she played She answered, ' No, John, I can not have you. . . . It is my intentions to be always a sacrifice/ This is the way in which she is doomed to be a constant slave to them that are not worthy that a constant slave she unto them should be." — Mrs. Chivery " Can I view thee panting, lying On thy stomach, without sighing; Can I unmoved see thee dying On a log Expiring frog! "Say, have fiends in shape of boys. With wild hallo, and brutal noise. Hunted thee from marshy joys. With a dog. Expiring frog ! " — Mrs. Leo Hunter -m -M Head, potry — chapter, literary friends — name. Snow- grass ; ver good. Introduction to Snowgrass — great poet — friend of Peek Weeks — other sweet poem — what is that name? — Fog-Perspiring Fog — ver good — ver good indeed." — Count Smorltork J^airclhi Dear Mrs. B. — Chops and tomato sauce. Yours, Pick- wick.* Gentlemen, what does this mean? 'Chops and tomato sauce! Yours, Pickwick.' Chops! Gracious Heavens ! And tomato sauce ! Gentlemen, is the hap- piness of a sensitive and confiding female to be trifled away by such shallow artifices as these? " — Sergeant Buzfuz If the law supposes that, the law is an ass, — an idiot. If that 's the eye of the law, the law 's a bachelor." — Mr. Bumble -m Would have sent the stockings as desired, but is short of money, so forwards a tract instead, and hopes Gray- marsh will put his trust in providence. Hopes that he will study in everything to please Mr. and Mrs. Squeers, and look upon them as his only friends ; and will not object to sleeping five in a bed, which no Christian should." — Graymarsh's Maternal Aunt In came Dumps, feeling about as much out of place as a salmon might be supposed to be on a gravel walk. * The baby? Decidedly not like you! Oh, certainly not. . . . I 'm no judge, of course, in such cases ; but I really think he 's more like one of those little carved representations that one sees blowing a trumpet on a tombstone.' " — Mr. Dumps J^irek * Emma ! * said Mr. Micawber, * the cloud is passed from my mind. Mutual confidence, so long preserved be- tween us, is restored to know no further interruption. Now, welcome poverty,' cried Mr. Micawber, shedding tears, * welcome misery, welcome homelessness, wel- come hunger, rags, tempest and beggary. Mutual confidence will sustain us to the end.' " — Mr. Micawber ^m " Henrietta informs Thomas that my eyes are open to you. I must ever wish you well, but walking and us is separated by an unfarmable abyss. One so malig- nant to superiority — Oh, that look at him ! Can never conduct. " P. S. To the altar." — Henrietta Train up a fig-tree in the way it should go, and when you are old, sit under the shade of it. Overhaul the — well, I ain't quite certain where that 's to be found, but when found make a note of." — Captain Cuttle My informiation (extra syllable for the sake of empha- sis) my informiation were my own experience, which is usually considered to be good guidance. But whether so or not, I was put in youth to a very gen- teel boarding-school and a poorness of blood flowed from the table which has run through all my life." Mrs. Billickin i%irclh ^m "When youVe a married man, Samivel, you'll under- stand a good many things as you don't now; but vether it 's worth while going through so much to learn so little, as the charity boy said ven he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter of taste." — Mr. Weller, Sr. -m The gushing fountains which sparkle in the sun must not be stopped in mere caprice. The Oasis in the Desert of Sahara must not be plucked up idly." — Julia Mills lBa^!?S?!;ftS^2^J^^ April THE day he penned his first book he made his coun- try happier, he made it younger, he made it better. Today we reward him with abiding affection, given him from a multitude of grateful hearts. — The London Times ni -p BILST UM PSHI S.M. ARK — Mr. Pickwick's Antiquarian Discovery Then idiots talk of Energy. If there is a word in the dictionary under any letter from A to Z that I abomi- nate it is Energy. It is such a conventional supersti- tion, such parrot gabble." — Eugene Wrayburn " If ever an Alphonse carried plain Bill in his face and figure, that page was the boy." — Of Mrs. Wititterly's page " I never see any difference in boys. I only know two sorts of boys — mealy boys and beef-faced boys." — Mr. Grimwig " He 's enough to break his mother's heart, is this boy ! I wish I had never brought him up. He 'd be sharper than a serpent's tooth if he was n't as dull as ditch- water." — Jenny Wren * You are quite a philosopher, Sam,' said Mr. Pick- wick. * It runs in the family, I believe, sir,' replied Mr. Weller. * My father 's werry much in that line AP2°2l now. If my mother-in-law blows him up, he whistles. If she flies in a passion and breaks his pipe, he steps out and gets another. Then she screams werry loud and falls in 'sterics and he smokes werry comfortably till she comes to again. That 's philosophy, ain't it? ' * A very good substitute for it, at all events,* said Mr. Pickwick." —-Sam Weller " He had heerd it given for a truth that accordin' as the world went round, which round it did rewolve un- doubted, even the best of gentlemen must take his turn of standing with his head upside down and his air flying the wrong way into what you might call Space. Wery well, then. . . . That gentleman's ed would come up'ards when his turn come, that gentleman's air would be a pleasure to look upon being all smooth again." — Mr. Plornish " * My dear Doctor,' said I, * what is my wife's complaint? Tell me all. I can bear it. Is it nerves? ' * My dear fellow,' he said, ' be proud of that woman — make much of her; she is an ornament to the fashionable world and to you. Her complaint is soul.' " — Mr. Wititterly *' Mr. Squeers had but one eye and the popular prejudice runs in favor of two. And when he smiled his expres- sion bordered closely on the villainous." — From Nicholas Nickleby ^nl What are you up to, Aggerawayter? . . . Saying your prayers ! You 're a nice woman ! What do you mean by flopping yourself down and praying agin me? . . . You werent praying for me! And if you were I won't be took the liberty with." — Mr. Cruncher at home I go SO far as to say, Miss, morehover,' proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit — * and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself — that wot my opinion respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart is as Mrs. Cruncher may be flopping at the present time.* " — Mr. Cruncher in Paris -M Sir: — My pa requests me to write to you, the doctors considering it doubtful whether he will ever recuver the use of his legs which prevents his holding a pen. We are in a state of mind beyond everything and my pa is one mask of brooses both blue and green like- wise two forms are steepled in his Goar. We were kimpelled to carry him to the kitchen where he now lays. You will judge from this that he has been brought very low." — Fanny Squeers to Ralph Nickleby ** When your nevew that you recommended for a teacher had done this to my pa and jumped upon his body Apnl with his feet and also langwedge which I will not pollewt my pen with describing, he assaulted my ma with dreadful violence, dashed her to the earth, and drove her back comb several inches into her head. A very little more and it must have entered her skull. We have a medical certifiket that if it had the torter- shell would have affected the brain." — The Same -m " Me and my brother were then the victims of his feury since which we have suffered very much which leads us to the arrowing belief that we have received some injuries in our insides especially as no marks of vio- lence are visible externally. I am screaming out loud all the time I write and so is my brother which takes off my attention and I hope will excuse mis- takes." — The Same The monster having sasiated his thirst for blood ran away, taking with him a boy of desperate caracter that he had excited to rebellyon, and a garnet ring belonging to my ma, and not having been appre- hended by the constables is supposed to have been took up by some stage-coach." — The Same -m ** My pa begs that if he comes to you the ring may be re- turned, and let the thief and assassin go, as if we have him prosecuted he would only be transported, and if he is let go he is sure to be hung before long which Ap2°il will save us trouble and be much more satisfactory. Hoping to hear from you when convenient, " I remain yours and cetrer " Fanny Squeers. " P. S. I pity his ignorance and despise him." — The Same Mr. Wegg, if you was brought here loose in a bag to be articulated, I 'd name your smallest bones, blindfold, equally with your largest, and I 'd sort 'em all and sort all your wertabrae in a manner that would equally surprise and charm you." — Mr. Venus -U Don't use your temper as well as your money,' says Mr. George, calmly knocking the ashes out of his pipe. * Do you know what that tune is, Mr. Smallweed?' he adds, after breaking off to whistle one, accompanied on the table with an empty pipe. * Tune? ' replied the old man. * No, we never have no tunes here.' * That 's the Dead March in Saul. They bury soldiers to it ; so it's the natural end of the subject. Good evening, Mr. Smallweed.' " — Mr. George He is, without exception, the highest-minded, the most independent-spirited, most original, spiritual, classi- cal, talented, and most thoroughly Shakespearian, if not Miltonic, and at the same time the most disgust- ingly unappreciated dog I know." *— Mr. Tigg Miss P. sat upon a stool because she was all girlishness and playfulness and wildness and kittenish buoyancy. Miss P. sat upon a stool because of her simplicity and innocence which were very great — very great." — Of Miss Pecksniff -m Under the impression that your peregrinations in this metropolis have not as yet been extensive, and that you might have some difficulty in penetrating the arcana of the modern Babylon — in short, that you might lose yourself — I shall be happy to call this evening and install you in the knowledge of the nearest way." — Mr. Micawber "M I never wanted two or three words in my life that I didn't know where to lay my hand upon 'em. It comes of not wasting language as some do." — Captain Cuttle -m He made a fortunate discovery of a means of entertain- ing himself and dividing the long day into stages without neglecting business. . . . Before day- light in the winter time he went to and fro in his little oilskin cap and cape, piercing the heavy air with his cry of * Morning paper ' which, about an hour be- fore noon, changed to * Morning pepper,* which, at about two, changed to * Morning pipper ' which, in a couple of hours, changed to * Morning popper ' and so, declined with the sun into * Evening pupper.* " — Adolphus Tetterby Aps'il Will she call me ' sir ' ? Me, who dote upon her with the demdest ardor. She who coils her fascinations round me like a pure and angelic rattlesnake? It will be all up with my feelings. She will throw me into a demd state." — Mr. Mantalini -m ** Some people may be Rooshians and others may be Prooshians. They are born so, and will please them- selves. Them as is of other naturs thinks different.'* — Mrs. Gamp " * Yes, I have a pair of eyes,' replied Sam, * and that 's just it. If they wos a pair of patent double million magnifyin' gas microscopes of hextra power, p'raps I might be able to see through a flight o' stairs and a deal door; but bein* only eyes, you see, my vision is limited.' " — Sam Weller " Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last." — C. D. " I hope they will bless their own good fortune, which has born them superior to common people's children." — Mrs. Kenwigs -1 " Werry glad to see you, indeed, and hope our acquaint- ance may be a long 'un, as the gen'l'm'n said to the fi' pun' note." — Sam Weller *' There 's small glasses on the shelf. Give me the one without a foot. I gets my living by the sweat of my brow, and it *s good enough for me ! " — Rogue Riderhood * George/ said Mr. Bagnet, * You know me. It *s my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own it to her before her. Discipline must be maintained. Whatever the old girl says do — do it.* * She is a treasure ! ' exclaimed Mr. George. * She 's more, but I never own it before her. Discipline must be main- tained.' " — Mr. Bagnet " His family was as old as the hills and infinitely more respectable. . . . He has a general opinion that the world might get on without hills, but would be done up without Dedlocks.'* — Of Sir Leicester -m I '11 put my hand in no man's hand,' said Mr. Micaw- ber, puffing and sobbing, to that degree that he was like a man fighting with cold water, * until I have — blown into fragments — the — a — detestable — ser- pent — HEEP! I'll pertake of no one's hospitality until I have — a — moved Mount Vesuvius — to — eruption — on — a — the abandoned rascal — HEEP ! Refreshment — a — underneath this roof — particu- larly punch — would — a choke me — unless — I had — previously — choked the eyes — out of the head of ID — interminable cheat and liar — HEEP ! I — a — I'll know nobody and — a — say nothing — and — a — live nowhere — until I have crushed — to — a — un- discoverable atoms — the — transcendent and immor- tal hypocrite and purjurer HEEP ! ' " — Mr. Micawber K^y VERY page a clean page, every line a help to right living, right feeling and right thinking; and all with a joyous spontaneity that will hold the love of millions yet unborn. — F. Hopkinson Smith Macv The First of May! There is a merry freshness in the sound, calling to our minds a thousand thoughts of all that is pleasant and beautiful in Nature, in her most delightful form. What man is there, over whose mind a bright spring morning does not exercise a magic influence — carrying him back to the days of his child- ish sports, and conjuring up before him the old green field with its gently-waving trees where the birds sang as he has never heard them since — where the butter- fly fluttered far more gaily than he ever sees him now, in all his ramblings — where the sky seemed bluer, and the sun shone more brightly — where the air blew more freshly over greener grass, and sweeter- smelling flowers — where everything wore a richer and more brilliant hue than it is ever dressed in now ! Such are the deep feelings of childhood, and such are the impressions which every lovely object stamps upon its heart ! '* — Sketches by Boz " Whoever would begin to be worried with letting lodg- ings that wasn't a lone woman with a living to get is a thing inconceivable to me, my dear; excuse the familiarity, but it comes natural to me in my own little room, when wishing to open my mind to them that I can trust and I should be truly thankful if they were all mankind, but such is not so, for to have but a furnished bill in the window and your watch on the mantlepiece, and farewell to it if you turn your back for but a second. However gentlemanly the manners ; ^^ nor is being of your own sex any safeguard as I have reason, in the form of sugar-tongs, to know.'* — Mrs. Lirriper I have been suffering myself from another kind of malady, a severe, spasmodic house-buying-and-repair- ing attack which has left me extremely weak, and all but exhausted. The seat of this disorder has been the pocket." — Letters Coals, candles and house-rent free! Oh, Mrs. Corney, what an angel you are ! " — Mr. Bumble Why, you don*t mean to say that there was no black welwet CO— ch? At least there was dogs? Come! If there weren't no weal cutlets, at least there was dogs? A dog? A puppy? Come!" Joe Gargery " I'll tell you what, young fellow, I did n't bring you up by hand to badger people's lives out- People are put in the Hulks because they murder and rob and forge and do all sorts of bad ; and they always begin by ask- mg questions. Now you get along to bed." — Mrs. Joe Gargery " Fashions are like human beings. They come in, nobody knows when, why, or how; and they go out, nobody knows when, why, or how. Everything is like life, in my opinion, if you look at it in that point of view." — Mr. Omer Msix " The people are frightfully civil and grotesquely extor- tionate. One man (with a house to let) told me that he loved the Duke of Wellington like a brother. The same gentleman wanted to hug me round the neck with one hand and pick my pocket with the other." — Letters Betsy Prig, try the cowcumbers. God bless you! Sairey, sez Mrs. Harris, sech is life. Vich likewise is the hend of all things." — Mrs. Gamp " We have left unmet people whom we ought to have met, and we have met the people whom we ought not to have met, and there seems to be no help in us." 99m — C. D. _EJ — " In a commercial establishment where any gentleman may say, any Saturday evening, * Mrs. Todgers, this day week we part in consequence of the cheese,* it is not easy to preserve a pleasant understanding." — Mrs. Todgers " It is nothing to say that he had n*t a word to throw at a dog. He could n't have thrown a word at a mad dog. He might have offered him one gently, or a half a one, or a fragment of one — for he spoke as slowly as he walked ; but he would n't have been rude with him and he could n't have been quick with him for any earthly consideration." — Of Mr. Chillip ~M " John Edward Nandy, sir, while there *s a ounce of wit- tie or drink of any sort in this present roof, you *re fully welcome to your share on it. While there 's a handful of fire, or a mouthful of bed in this present roof, you are fully welcome to a share on it. If so be as there should be nothing in this present roof, you should be as welcome to your share on it as if it was something much or little. And this is what I mean and so I don't deceive you and consequently which is to stand out is to entreat of you and therefore why not do it? " — Mr. Plornish That punctual servant of all work, the sun, had just risen, and begun to strike a light on the morning of the thirteenth of May, when Mr. Samuel Pickwick burst like another sun from his slumbers, threw open his chamber window, and looked out upon the world beneath. Goswell street was at his feet, Goswell street was on his right hand — as far as the eye could reach. Goswell street extended on his left; and the opposite side of Goswell street was over the way. * Such,* thought Mr. Pickwick, * are the narrow views of those philosophers who, content with examining the things that lie before them, look not to the truths which are hidden beyond. Cab ! * cried Mr. Pickwick, * Golden Cross.' " — From Pickwick Papers He cannot have too little to do with people who are too deep for him, and cannot be too careful of interference with matters he does not understand; the plain rule is to do nothing in the dark, to be a party to nothing under-handed or mysterious, and never to put his foot where he cannot see the ground." — Mrs. Bagnet's advice -m Is she dead, Joe? ' *' * Why, you see, old chap, I would n*t go so far as to say that, for that 's a deal to say ; but she ain't — ' "'Living, Joe?' " ' That 's nigher where it is. She ain't living.' " Joe Gargery mmmmmmmmmmmMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm " * Circumscribed, that 's it.' " * That ain't as good a word as circumwented, Sammy.' "'Think not?' " ' Nothin' like it.' " * But don't you think it means more? * " ' Well, p'raps it is a more tender word. Go on, Sammy.' " — The Wellers That, ladies and gentlemen,' said Mrs. Jarley, * is Jas- per Packlemerton of atrocious memory, who courted and married fourteen wives, and destroyed them all by tickling the soles of their feet when they were sleeping in the consciousness of innocence and virtue. On being brought to the scaffold and asked if he were sorry for what he had done, he replied yes, he was sorry for having let 'em off so easy, and hoped all Christian husbands would pardon him the offense. Let this be a warning to all young ladies to be par- ticular in the charactei of the gentlemen of their choice. Observe that his fingers are curled as if in the act of tickling, and that his face is represented with a wink, as he appeared when committing his barbarous murders/ " — Mrs. Jarley ^M There was a Miss Podsnap, and this young rocking- horse was being trained in her mother's art of pranc- ing in a stately manner without ever getting on." — Of Miss Podsnap US! He (Mr. Pickwick) would not deny that he was influ- enced by human passions and human feelings, — (cheers) — possibly by human weaknesses — (loud cries of * No ! ') : but this he would say, that if ever the fire of self-importance broke out in his bosom, the desire to benefit the human race in preference, ef- fectually quenched it." — Mr. Pickwick -m Not quite in a good temper, Tattycoram? Take a little time — count five and twenty." — Mr. Meagles — Nj "One Saturday night a little thin old gen'lm'n comes into the shop in a great passion and says, * Are you the missis o' this 'ere shop?' * Yes, I am,' says she. * Well, ma'am,' says he, * then I've just looked in to say that me and my family ain't agoin' to be choked for nothin' ; and more than that, ma'am,' he says, * you will allow me to observe that as you don't use the primest parts of the meat in the manafacter of sas- sages, I think you 'd find beef come nearly as cheap as buttons/ * As buttons, sir ! * says she. * Buttons, ma'am,' says the little old gen'lm'n, unfolding a little bit of paper and showing twenty or thirty halves o' buttons. * Nice seasonin' for sassages is trousers* buttons, ma'am.' * They 're my husband's buttons,' cries the widder, beginnin' to think. * What ! ' screams the little old gen'lm'n an ' turning werry pale. * I see it all,' says the widder. * In a fit o' temporary insanity he rashly converted hisself into sassage.' And so he had, sir," said Mr. Weller, look- ing steadily into Mr. Pickwick's horror-stricken countenance. "The little old gen'lm'n rushed out of the shop in a wild state, and was never heard on arterwards." — Sam Weller " I was not sleeping, nor what a person would term cor- rectly dozing. I was more what a person would strictly call watching with my eyes closed." — Mrs. Tickit " Begging your pardon, sir, I would skorn the haction. The woices was wery loud, sir, and forced themselves upon my ear." — Mrs. Cluppins " Mr. Rugg 's a red-haired man and gets his hair cut. And as to the crown of his hat, it 's high. And as to the brim of his hat, it's narrow. And there's no more benevolence bubbling out of him than out of a ninepin." — Mr. Pancks " Tears never yet wound up a clock nor worked a steam engine." — Sam Weller " It opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes and softens down the temper. So cry away ! " — Mr. Bumble " Here 's flesh ! Here 's firmness ! Here *s solidness ! Look at them tears, sir ; there 's oiliness ! " — Mr. Squeers "Are tears the dew-drops of the heart? J. M." — Julisa Mills * It 's a devil of a thing, gentlemen,' said Mr. Swivel- ler, * when relations fall out and disagree. If the wing of friendship should never moult a feather, the wing of relationship should never be clipped, but be always expanded and serene. Why should a grand- son and grandfather peg away at each other with mutual wiolence when all might be bliss and concord? Why not jine hands and forgit it?' " ' Hold your tongue,' said his friend." — Dick Swiveller He had proved that, by altering the received mode of punctuation, any one of Shakespeare's plays could be made quite different and the sense completely changed. It is needless to say, therefore, that he was a great critic and a very profound and most original thinker." —Mr. Curdle -m " A man must take the fat with the lean ; that 's what he must make his mind up to, in this life." — Mr. Omer May the present moment be the worst of our lives! I like this plan of sending 'em in with the peel on; there 's a charm in drawing a potato from its native element (if I may so express it) to which the rich and powerful are strangers." — Dick Swiveller You remember the night I first came here and found you floating your powerful mind in tea? There you sit, in the midst of your works — An exile from home, splendor dazzles in vain. Oh give you your lowly preparations again ; The birds, stuffed so sweetly, that could n't be ex- pected to come at your call. Give you these with sweet peace of mind, dearer than all. Be it ever so ghastly, all things considered, there 's no place like it ! " — Silas Wegg He appeared to conduct his business by looking across the street at the saddler, who seemed to transact his business by keeping his eye on the coachmaker, who appeared to get on in life by putting his hands in his pockets and contemplating the baker, who in his turn folded his arms and stared at the grocer, who stood at his door and yawned at the chemist." — From Great Expectations -m " She calls me cruel — me — me — who for her sake will become a demd, damp, moist, unpleasant bod^! Can I live to be mistrusted? Have I cut my heart into a demd extraordinary number of little pieces and given them all, one after another, to the same little engross- ing demnition captivator? And can I be suspected by her? Demmit, no, I can't." — Mr. Mantalini June I WOULD rather have the affectionate regard of my fellow-men than I would have heaps and mines of gold. — Charles Dickens in America June And when Sunday came how differently the day was spent from any way in which he had ever spent it yet, and how happily, too. There was the little church in the morning, with the green leaves flut- tering at the windows: the birds singing without, and the sweet smelling air stealing in at the low porch and filling the homely building with its fra- grance. The poor people were so neat and clean, and knelt so reverently in prayer, that it seemed a pleasure, not a tedious duty, their assembling there together." — From Oliver Twist Don Bolaro Fizzgig — Grandee — only daughter — Donna Christina — splendid creature — loved me to distraction — jealous father — high-souled daughter — handsome Englishman — Donna Christina in de- spair — prussic acid — stomach-pump in my port- manteau — operation performed — old Bolaro in ec- stasies — consent to our union — join hands and flood of tears." — Mr. Jingle If ever you gets to up'ards o' fifty and feels disposed to go a-marryin' anybody — no matter who — just you shut yourself in a room, if you 've got one, and pison yourself offhand. Pison yourself, Samivel, and you '11 be glad on it arterwards." — Mr. Weller, Sr. Jftane "'Licence, sir, licence?' 'What's that?' 'Marriage licence.' * Dash my weskit, I never thought of that ! ' * I think you wants one, sir.' ' No, damme, I 'm too old, and besides I 'm a many sizes too large.' * Not a bit on it, sir. We married a gentleman twice your size last Monday.' * Did you, though?' 'To be sure. You 're a babby to him, sir. This way, sir.' " — Mr. Weller, Sr. She is come ! ' said the old gentleman, laying his hand upon his heart. ' Cormoran and Blunderbore ! She is come! All the wealth I have is hers if she will take me for her slave. Where are grace, beauty and blandishments like those? In the Empress of Mad- agascar? No. In the Queen of Diamonds? No. In Mrs. Rowland, who every morning bathes in Kalydor for nothing? No. Melt all these down into one, with the three Graces, the nine Muses, and fourteen biscuit-bakers' daughters from Oxford Street, and make a woman half as lovely. Pho! I defy you.'" — Mrs. Nickleby's Suitor " ' When a man says he is willin',' said Mr. Barkis, ' it 's as much as to say that man 's awaitin' for a answer.' " — Mr. Barkis 'And a very snug little business you have, no doubt? ' said Mr. Winkle, knowingly. " ' Very,' replied Bob Sawyer. ' So snug, that at the end of a few years you might put all the profits in a wine glass, and cover 'em over with a gooseberry leaf. Hardly anything real in the shop but the leeches, and they are second-hand.' " — Bob Sawyer " * Come ! ' said Tim, * let 's be a comfortable couple. We shall live in the old house here, where I have been for four and forty year; we shall go to the old church, where I 've been every Sunday morning, all through that time; we shall have all my old friends about us — Dick, the archway, the pump, the flower- pots, and Mrs. Frank's children, and Mr. Nickleby's children, that we shall seem like grandfather and grandmother to. Let 's be a comfortable couple, and take care of each other! And if we should get deaf or lame, or blind or bed-ridden, how glad we shall be that we have somebody we are fond of always to talk to and sit with ! Let 's be a comfortable couple. Now, do, my dear ! ' " — Tim Linkinwater's proposal — iaa " She fainted away stone dead when Mr. Sanders asked her to name the day, and believed that everybody as called herself a lady would do the same under similar circumstances." — Mrs. Cluppins -IS We were all in all to one another it was the morning of life it was bliss it was frenzy it was everything else of that sort in the highest degree when rent asunder we turned to stone in which capacity Arthur went to China and I became the statue bride of Mr. F." — Flora Pinching -ID When I made my proposal she did me the honor to be so over-shadowed with a species of Awe as to be able to articulate only the two words ' O, thou ! ' meaning myself; — and though encouraged to proceed, she never did proceed a word further." — Mr. Sapsea -Ei " Papa would remark to me that a family of whales must not ally itself with sprats. ... I well remem- ber mamma's clasping her hands and exclaiming, * This will end in a little man ! ' She afterward went so far as to predict that it would be a little man with a mind below the average, but that was in what I may denominate a paroxysm of maternal disappoint- ment. Within a month I first saw R. W., my hus- band. Within a year, I married him. It is natural for the mind to recall these dark coincidences on the present day." ■— Mrs. Wilfer " * I was considered tall ; perhaps I was. Papa and mamma were unquestionably tall. I have rarely seen a finer woman than my mother; never than my father.' " * Whatever grandpapa was, he was n't female.' " * Your grandpapa was what I describe him to have jMne been and would have struck any of his grandchildren to the earth who presumed to question it.' " — Mrs. Wilfer and Lavinia m *A young gentleman may be over-careful of himself, or he may be under-careful of himself. He may brush his hair too regular, or too unregular. He may wear his boots much too large for him, or much too small. That is according as the young gentleman has his original character formed. But let him go to which extreme he may, sir, there 's a young lady in both of 'em." — Mrs. Crupp -11 " Samivel, Samivel ! I did n*t think you 'd 'a done it ! Arter the warning you Ve had o' your father's wici- ous perpensities ; arter all I 've said to you on this here wery subject; arter actiwally seein' and bein' in the company o' your own mother-in-law, which I 'd 'a thought was a moral lesson as no man could never have forgotten to his dying day ! " y^a —Mr. Weller, Sr. "Hello! Here's a church! Let's go in! Hello! Here's a pair of gloves ! Let 's put 'em on ! Hello ! Here 's Miss Skiffkins ! Let 's have a wedding ! " — Mr. Wemmick Beside that cottage door, Mr. Boffin, A girl was on her knees. She held aloft a snowy scarf, sir. Which (my eldest brother noticed) fluttered in the breeze ; JFumnie She breathed a prayer for him, Mr. Boffin, A prayer he could not hear; And my eldest brother leaned upon his sword, Mr. Boffin, And wiped away a tear." — Silas Wegg O Calf, Calf! O Baal, Baal! To barter away that pre- cious jewel, self-esteem, and cringe to any mortal creature — for eighteen shillings a week ! " — Mr. Pecksniff -m " * It theemth to prethent two thingth to a perthon, don't it, thquire? One, that there ith a love in the world, not at all thelf-interetht after all, but thomething very different : t'other, that it hath a way of ith own of calculating of not calculating, whith thomehow or another ith at leath ath hard to give a name to, ath the wayth of the dogth ith ! " — Mr. Sleary I 'm an old traveler and all foreign languages and cus- toms are alike to me — I never understand anything about any of 'em. Therefore I can't be put to any in- — Mr. Meagles m^ " Several American friends at that inn all called Mont Blanc Mount Blank, except one good-natured gentle- man, of a very sociable nature, who became on such intimate terms with it that he spoke of it familiarly as * Blank' — observing at breakfast, * Blank looks pretty tall this morning.' " — Holly Tree Inn "Once I passed a fortnight at an inn in the north of Eng- land where I was haunted by the ghost of a tremen- dous pie. It was a Yorkshire pie, like a fort, an abandoned fort, with nothing in it. It was a point of ceremony at every meal to put that pie on the table. After some days I tried to hint, in several delicate ways, that I considered the pie done with — as, for example, by emptying fag-ends of glasses of wine into it; putting cheese-plates and spoons into it, as into a basket. But always in vain, the pie being invariably cleaned out again and brought up as before." —The Same " I was taken by quick association to the anglers' inns of England (I have assisted at innumerable feats of angling by lying at the bottom of the boat whole summer days, doing nothing with the greatest per- severance; which I have generally found to be as effectual towards the taking of fish as the finest tackle and the utmost science) " — The Same i! and to the pleasant, white, clean, flower-pot-decorated bedrooms of those inns, overlooking the river, and the green ait, and the church spire, and the country bridge; and to the peerless Emma with the bright eyes and the pretty smile, who waited, God bless her, with a natural grace that would have converted Bluebeard." —The Same " Then I came to the inns of Paris, with the pretty apart- ment of four pieces up one hundred and seventy-five waxed stairs, the privilege of ringing the bell all day long without influencing anybody's mind or body but our own, and the not-too-much-for-dinner con- sidering the price." — The Same " Next, to the provincial inns of France, with the great church tower rising above the church courtyard, the horse-bells jingling merrily up and down the street beyond, and the clocks of all descriptions in all the rooms, which are never right unless taken at the precise minute when by getting exactly twelve hours too fast or too slow, they unintentionally be- come so." — The Same Next I put up at the restless inns upon the Rhine, where your going to bed, no matter at what hour, appears to be the tocsin for everybody else's getting up; and where in the table-d' bote room at the end of the long table one knot of stoutish men rvill re- main all night clinking glasses and singing about the river that flows and the grape that grows, and Rhine wine that beguiles, and Rhine woman that smiles, and hi drink, drink, my friend, and ho drink, drink, my brother, and all the rest of it." — The Same M I put out to sea for the inns of America, with their four hundred beds apiece, and their eight or nine hundred ladies and gentlemen at dinner every day. Again I found, as to my individual way o£ thinking, that the greater, more gorgeous, and the more dol- larous the establishment was, the less desirable it was. Nevertheless I drank in all good-will to my friend the General and my friends the Majors, Col- onels, and civilians all; full well knowing that what- ever little motes my beamy eyes may have descried in theirs, they belong to a kind, generous, large- hearted people and a great people." — The Same " Come to England ! Our oysters are small, I know ; they are said by Americans to be coppery; but our hearts are of the largest size. We are thought to excel in shrimps, to be far from despicable in point of lobsters, and in periwinkles challenge the world." — Letters -m " I can't be denounced as heartless by the whole society of China without setting myself right when I have the opportunity of doing so and you must be aware that there was * Paul and Virginia ' which had to be returned and was returned without note or com- ment not that I mean to say you could have written to me watched as I was but if it had only come back with a red wafer on the corner I should have known it meant Come to Pekin, Nankeen and What 's-the- third-place barefoot." — Flora Finching July t au t nui ini ni iiii n i I WOULD beg to give you as a toast America and England — may they never have any division but the Atlantic between them. — Charles Dickens: Address at Boston, 1842 " Your papa used to say that roast pigs always put him in mind of very young babies, only the pigs had much fairer complexions.'* — Mrs. Nickleby " Allow me, sir, the honor of grasping your hand. Per- mit me, sir, to shake it." — Mr. Leo Hunter Rendering unto all their just doo and maintaining equal justice between man and man, my father were that good in his hart." — Joe Gargery " What is the odds so long as the fire of the soul is kindled at the taper of conwiviality and the wing of friendship never moults a feather? " " Yet loved I as man never loved That hadn't wooden legs. And my heart, my heart is breaking For the love of Sophie Cheggs." — Dick Swiveller " In Freedom's name, sir, I advert with indignation and disgust, to that accursed animal, with gore-stained whiskers, whose rampant cruelty and fiery lust have ever been a scourge, a torment to the world. The naked visitors to Crusoe's island, sir ; the flying wives of Peter Wilkins; the fruit-smeared children of the tangle bush; nay, even the men of large stature, an- ciently bred in the mining district of Cornwall, alike Jw|y bear witness to its savage nature. Where, sir, are the Cormorans, the Blunderbores, the great Fee-fo- fums, named in History? All, all exterminated by its destroying hand! " I allude, sir, to the British Lion." — General Choke Lord love you, sir, they're so fond of liberty in this part of the globe, that they buy her and sell her and carry her to market with 'em. They Ve such a pas- sion for liberty that they can't help taking liberties with her." — Mark Tapley " STRANGER Respect the tomb of JOHN CHIVERY, JUNIOR, Who died at an advanced age. Not necessary to mention. He encountered his rival in a distressed state and felt inclined To have a round with him; But for the sake of the loved one, Conquered those feelings of bitterness and became MAGNANIMOUS." — John Chivery * Away with melancholy Nor doleful human folly. On life and human folly, But merrily, merrily sing, Fa-la." — Eugene Wrayburn Jw|y " My young friend, you are to us a pearl, you are to us a diamond, you are to us a gem, you are to us a jewel. And why, my young friend? My young friend, it is because you know nothing that you are to us a gem and a jewel. For what are you, my young friend? Are you a beast of the field? No. A bird of the air? No. A fish of the sea or river? No. You are a hu- man boy, my young friend, a human boy. Oh, glori- ous, to be a human boy! And why glorious, my young friend? " — Mr. Chadband -W I don't know why it is, but a fine summer day like this, with the birds singing in every direction, always puts me in mind of roast pig, with sage and onion sauce, and made gravy." — Mrs. Nickleby -m All he asked of society was to let him live. That was n't much. He was a mere child in the world, but he did n't cry for the moon. He said to the world, * Go your several ways in peace ! Wear red coats, blue coats, lawn sleeves, put pens behind your ears, wear aprons, go after glory, holiness, commerce, any object you prefer; — only let Harold Skimpole live." — Of Harold Skimpole "Where's the use of a division between you and me? We are two halves of a pair of scissors, when apart, Pecksniff; but together we are something, eh? " — Anthony Chuzzlewit _!3_ " The gout is a complaint as comes from too much ease and comfort. If ever you 're attacked with gout, sir, just you marry a widder as has got a good loud woice and a decent notion o* usin* it, and you '11 never have the gout again." — Mr. Weller, Sr. Widders, Sammy, widders are *ceptions to every rule. I have heered how many ord 'nary women one wid- der 's equal to in point o' comin' over you. I think it 's five and twenty, but I don't rightly know vether it ain't more." — The Same -fO I dreamed that somebody was dead and was greatly overcome when the news was broken to me by a gen- tleman in a cocked hat, top boots and a sheet. Nothing else. * Good God!' I said, 'Is he dead? What did he die of? ' The gentleman burst into a flood of tears and said in a voice broken by emotion, * He christened his youngest child, sir, with a toast- ing-fork.' " — Letters "Wot I have took from Betsy Prig this blessed night no mortial creetur knows! If she had abuged me, bein' in liquor, which I thought I smelt her wen she come, but could not so believe, not bein* used myself, I could have bore it with a thankful 'art. But the words she spoke of Mrs. Harris, lambs could not forgive. No, Betsy ! Nor worms forget ! " — Mrs. Gamp