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 McFINGAL OF TYRONE 
 
 OR THE 
 
 REVELATION OF OX 
 
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McFINGAL OF TYRONE 
 
 OR THE 
 
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 REVELATION OF OX 
 
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 ^ OX:-. 
 
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MCFINGAL OF TYRONE, 
 
 REVELATION OF OX. 
 
 The Revelation of Ox to show unto the multitude those things 
 
 which must shortly come to pass. 
 
 And go forth unto the people, for it hath been commanded of me 
 
 that all which mine ears hear and mine eyes seest, that same 
 
 shall be written in a book. 
 
 Therefore let him that readeth ponder. 
 
 And he that ponders let him reflect. 
 
 Reflecting, let him inwardly digest. 
 
 For verily I, Ox, the Keeper, say unto you the time is at hand, 
 
 and the sign is upon us. 
 
 Be ye therefore cunning like unto a serpent. 
 
 And hedge. 
 
 And wise like unto an owl. 
 
 And trim. 
 
 Nor idiotic be, 
 
 And flop 
 
 For the time is at hand, and the sign is upon us, that 
 
 " These great statesmen, 
 When time has made bold with the king and subject, 
 Throwing down all fence that stood 'twixt their pow'r 
 And others' right, are on a change." 
 
 • (3) 
 
MCFINGAL OF TYRONE. 
 
 Now it had come to pass that it was the fl.rst year of the reigii 
 of Benjamin, he that had succeeded the spouse of Frances, as 
 chief high ijriest of the nation. 
 
 And it was nigh unto the season when the tap shops were few 
 and wide apart, made so by venal justice rampant. 
 And behold there were politicians in the land. 
 And they were high priests and privy counselors. 
 Likewise were they smart alecks. 
 And stood on the pinnacles of city and state, 
 And waxed fat. 
 
 And had sand even unto their necks. 
 
 And coin of the realm had they in their inside pockets unto the 
 extent of more than fifteen ducats. 
 
 Now chief among these was one McFingal, who had been bom 
 early in life, 
 
 In the Province of Tyrone, in the land of Chamrok, beyond ihe 
 great seas. 
 
 And his vaccination took. 
 And having osculated the stone blarney 
 On a Black Ball Line packet had he come unto Manhattan. 
 
 Unto the Castle Garden therein. 
 And passed he the inspection. 
 For he had not been contracted 
 To labor in the Province of Pencoyd. 
 
 (4) 
 
Now McFingal had good sandals ^ith large spikes therein. 
 
 And he jonrneyed tinto the land of Bill Penn, nnto the Quaker 
 
 borough. 
 
 And straightway took out he his papers. 
 
 Now, McFingal was an A. P. A. 
 
 Nor worked he the groAvler. 
 
 Nor visiteth he the spake asys 
 
 Nor chased he the duclv« 
 
 Nor took he Willie for a walk 
 
 Nor possessed he any capillary embellishment upon his molars 
 
 Nor upon his incisors had lie any hirsute growth. 
 
 Nor of hair on his store teeth. 
 
 But of sand in his neck he had great store. 
 
 And had gathered wisdom and showed great cunning. 
 
 And took unto himself heelers. 
 
 And gathered a vast multitude about him as one num. 
 
 And produced delegates unto a legion. 
 
 And pulled their legs. 
 
 And gave unto the jieople stiffs 
 
 And taffy. 
 
 And worked he rackets. 
 
 And shut eyes like unto the manner that Bigsix surnamed 
 
 Billtwede did so in the land of Manhatta. 
 
 Which same is now the abiding place of him 
 
 That comforted not Maria, siu'named Halpin 
 
 Now McFingal long had a soft thing. 
 
 Likewise a hard cheek. 
 
 And of brogue had he a rare quantity 
 
 And it came to pass that he collected the tithes and taxes. 
 
By plastic proxy. 
 
 Clay. 
 
 And don't you forget it. 
 
 But McFingal was up in g 
 
 Even up in spring g 
 
 Anrl had a front i)e\x 
 
 In th-C Traction Juggernaut 
 
 And from tlie people's bank got he all his spending money. 
 
 And was good unto the poor-. 
 
 Like unto the manner in which the woman kept tavern. 
 
 For McFingal worshipped the stuff, 
 
 And tightened his grip on the shekels he gained. 
 
 Verily from his back likewise his belly did he spare to fatten 
 
 jiis money sacks. 
 
 Nor laid he up treasui'es in heaver. 
 
 But Id a strong box hai'd b.\' his coach. 
 
 But McFingal was sore put and disturbed for the sign was upon 
 
 him, 
 
 .i\iid the tijue was at hand, 
 
 For his enemies had risen and had in store for McFingal dire 
 
 mischief, 
 
 Like unto wiping up of a floor with him. 
 
 And McFingal was not comforted, and communed with himself 
 
 saying : 
 
 Behold, the sign cometh upon me and mine enemies are a legion. 
 
 Behold, I will go unto mine wicked partner and will hold sweet 
 
 converse with him. 
 
 And a small, still voice spake unto him saying . 
 
 Go to 
 
 And he did so. 
 
RELTIF, THE CORDSPINNER. 
 
 Now in the Quaker borough was situate The Temple of 
 
 Administration. 
 
 Or the Circumlocution Office as it hath been named 
 
 And it was hard by the fifth chestnut. 
 
 And nigh unto the cabinet where dwelt Jo, 
 
 Not Jo-Jo. 
 
 But he that dispensed the bug juice. 
 
 Nine ninety and nine. 
 
 And it had come to pass that Eeltif, a learned cordspinner. 
 
 Had been chosen as the high priest of the borough. 
 
 Now Reltif was a rich man whose coffers were heavy laden with 
 
 silver and with gold. 
 
 And had he of realty an abundance 
 
 And storehouses. 
 
 And McFingal was not so well heeled as Reltif. 
 
 Now Reltif, as high priest, had called unto his counsels certain 
 
 wise men. 
 
 And they and Reltif ruled the people like imto the manner in 
 
 which a fond father ruleth his child. 
 
 Oh ! mama buy me a jumping rope ! 
 No, dear, your papa makes them. 
 
 Aboudnations crushed he out 
 
 With the aid of his wise counselors. 
 
 Likewise called Reltif unto him certain wise men, they whose 
 
 (7) 
 
8 
 
 pockets were lieavy laden with, the weight of their Ward arron- 
 
 disements. 
 
 They who were known unto men as wardleaders, 
 
 The deliverers of goods, 
 
 Who fixed the workers in the political vinej-ard, 
 
 Who madeth the slates, 
 
 And made captive of the delegates 
 
 To the people's conventions in the large meeting-houses. 
 
 Now Reltif professed a great love for McFingal, but it was -like 
 
 unto the affection 
 
 That the feline has for the species rodent. 
 
 For Reltif was to the manor born, 
 
 While McFingal had his papers, 
 
 Which accounted for a one drop of the milk contained in the 
 
 Cocoanut. 
 
 Now Reltif had high hoj^es. 
 
 Likewise brilliant aspirations, 
 
 Whose altitude was not made disturbed by 
 
 Bullitt bill. 
 
 For lo ! Reltif had set his eye on the White Temple which stood 
 
 nigh unto the shores of the Potomac. 
 
 Even did he aspire to become mighty. 
 
 Like unto Don Juan, 
 
 He of the tribe of Kamorahn. 
 
 But McFingal had said him nay. 
 
 Yet Reltif was a subtle man, and could saw wood. 
 
 And he did so. 
 
 And being a cordspinner 
 
 Had gotten McFingal on a string, 
 
9 
 
 And played witli McFingal, 
 
 Even like a cat playeth with a mouse. 
 
 For Eeltif paid court unto the opposition, 
 
 Likewise to them who were on the fence 
 
 And to the remnant of the one hundred committee, 
 
 And to the wardleaders. 
 
 Whom he full well knew were but water-bearers, and carried 
 
 the same on both sh(julders. 
 
 But Reltif could no longer be gracious unto McFingal. 
 
 And he called unto him his choseu, and held a caucus, and spake 
 
 unto them in this wise : 
 
 Verily, verily, I say unto you, the time is at hand and the sign is 
 
 upon McFingal. 
 
 Keep wise your counsels, and say not that which 
 
 I speak unto you in low voice, 
 
 For I am agin McFingal. 
 
 Are ye wid me 
 
 Through the thick and even unto the thin thereof ? 
 
 But they answered him not. 
 
 And spoke one unto the other in low voice, saying : 
 
 Hedge, Hedge, for the sign is upon McFingal, even as Reltif has 
 
 spoken ; 
 
 Then again thundered forth Reltif : Hesitate ye not, for I have 
 
 counsel and strength for this war, now answer 
 
 In whom will ye place your trust — 
 
 In McFingal, of Tyrone, 
 
 Or in me who hath communed with the big chief Wah-ne-maka ? 
 
 Likewise have I made covenant with Hahuidish, the sawbuilder. 
 
 Verily saw I him, yea, even did I raise him, 
 
10 
 
 Likewise straddle his blind 
 And stood in 
 On a pat hand. 
 
 Likewise have I made sly covenant with Davemahr, the 
 caughton. 
 
 And with Billedes, who failed of high honor, but will get there ; 
 And A\ith Billstokh, the Martinet, the guardian of our borough 
 peace, and in whom I am well pleased ; 
 
 Also with him that is like unto the iron man Tom Ferguson and 
 hath sway over the gashouse tarriers ; 
 
 And with Eetrop, the farmer who raiseth the asparagus and is a 
 wise tinner and builder of the borough water-buckets ; 
 And with the medicine man Vulcanite, he who cureth the high- 
 ways, 
 
 And layeth thereon the bicycle surface ; 
 
 And likewise with many others who know not where I stand. 
 But who hunger to know 
 For a sure snap 
 That I am agin 
 McFingal. 
 
 And Eeltif looked wise, and yet spake unto them assembled : 
 Go ye your way, prepare, for the time is at hand, and the sign is 
 upon McFingal. 
 
 For by this sign shall I cook his aquatic fowl, if 1 be but fixed, 
 For it has been ordained that unto the people shall be made 
 manifest a new deal. 
 
 For lo ! from out of the land of Beaver there came uuto the 
 Quaker borough he that is known of all men 
 Mattstan, 
 
11 
 
 He tliat lieth close unto Benjamin, 
 
 And who is agin McFingal. 
 
 Verily sought he mine ear, likewise mine affections, and hath 
 
 laid glittering proposals at mine feet, 
 
 To my edification and delight if I but do his behests, even which 
 
 will I do, for verily while I am but a mare I have horse sense. 
 
 And megalocephalitis, as hath been chronicled by Aleck 
 
 He that is up to the times 
 
 And the}' that were assembled marveled at his words. 
 
 And he found favor with them. 
 
 For the sign was upon them. 
 
 And the time was near at hand 
 
 To hedge 
 
 And step on the neck of McFingal with both feet 
 
 And make use of him like unto a mop-cloth. 
 
 For so had it been ordained by Mattstan, who had the pull. 
 
 And they hedged. 
 
 An<l Eeltif journeyed unto the Konemaugh, 
 
 And looked upon the waste of waters. 
 
 And the tribulation of the people. 
 
 And the heart was rent iu twain. 
 
 Of the good mare. 
 
DAVEMAHR, THE CAUGHTON. 
 
 Now ill the Quaker borough, dwelt Davemahr, 
 
 He whom his father raised uj) 
 
 On a farm. 
 
 And in whom Mattstan was well concerned. 
 
 Now Davemahr was a you no- blood. 
 
 Withal a promising bud, 
 
 With a following like unto a Boss. 
 
 And Davemahr knew a thing or two 
 
 Now Davemahr rested his cej^halic extremity on the bosom of 
 
 Mattstan, 
 
 And they had forsworn McFingal. 
 
 And Mattstan spake unto Davemahr, saying : 
 
 Go to even unto the White Temple, nigh unto the Potomac ; 
 
 Tarry you there but a short season, and I \\'ill go unto you ; 
 
 And unto Benjamin will I speak in yoiu' praise ; 
 
 Nor shall the Prohibitionists assail you, 
 
 And Grimgosh, shall praise thee, 
 
 And thou shalt find favor in Benjamin's eyes ; 
 
 And honor shall come unto you, 
 
 And that also which cometli as a boon unto the politician — 
 
 Patronage — 
 
 Unto the extent of eleven and one hun<lred. 
 
 An<i by my strong arm shalt thou be j'aise<l up if thou doest my 
 
 behests, 
 
 (12) 
 
13 
 
 And aid me to put 
 
 McFingal in the soup. 
 
 Speak, therefore, I command you ; wilt thou take in thy hands 
 
 the reins of power 
 
 And pulverize McFingal, 
 
 The nincompoop from Tyrone, 
 
 And save thine and mine own white alley ? 
 
 And Davemahr answered : 
 
 You bet. 
 
 And he journeyed unto the White Temple 
 
 And caught on. 
 
 And Davemahr became a high priest in the Quaker borough. 
 
 And verily gaveth he out the orders unto the wardleaders, an<l 
 
 unto them that were known of men as rounders and workers. 
 
 And Davemahr had gotten up even unto g, 
 
 From whence had McFingal 
 
 Taken a tumble. 
 
 And thus had it come to pass that Davemahr was Lieutenant 
 
 over the Quaker borough. 
 
 And these were of his tribe : 
 
 Slackamos, 
 
 :N^obbyjo, 
 
 Harehunter, 
 
 Solomon, 
 
 Billedes, 
 
 Jakewihle, 
 
 Josephus, who had hesitated, 
 
 Tarn of the West 
 
 And EetTOj). 
 
HAHMDISH, THE SAWBUILDER. 
 
 Now there was a man of Benjamin, whose name was Hahmdish, 
 
 A sawbuikler and a wire-puller, 
 
 Who had of ducats a great store, 
 
 A founder of the Orion, 
 
 And who so loved his good nncle 
 
 BilwTite 
 
 That he had made him a high sheriif. 
 
 Now Hahmdish had set np his booth on the broad high\vay of 
 
 the Quaker borough 
 
 And he w^as beloved bv the big injun 
 
 Wah-ne-maka. 
 
 Likewise had he gotten on the soft side of Mattstan, 
 
 But was hated unto fnry by McFingal. 
 
 Nor loved he jMcFingal 
 
 By adamsite. 
 
 Nor made he rash promises unto his cohorts, 
 
 Neither had he fed his folloAvers on ashes or scrapple in the 
 
 Bummer time. 
 
 Nor had he commanded them to fatten on snow balls in the 
 
 winter season, 
 
 For Hahmdish had grown wise in his generation. 
 
 And possessed not a small cranium, 
 
 Nor had his perceptive organs or the receptacle thereof becoine 
 
 swollen. 
 
 (14) 
 
15 
 
 Long had he sawed wood, 
 
 And withal remembered former things he had done and those 
 
 that had Ibeen done unto him 
 
 By McFingal, 
 
 Who had put into tlie bouillon 
 
 His register Wilyum B. 
 
 He who manipulated the testaments of the dead 
 
 And had lifted up him 
 
 In law, a brother unto aleck. 
 
 A smart, cunning, shrewd aleck. 
 
 For this Hahmdish loved McFingal, 
 
 Like 
 
 Or like a child loveth the oil castor 
 
 Or like the trustee of the gas loveth 
 
 The long promised suit in law 
 
 Or like unto the affection that Eetrop hath for 
 
 Gimworke, the wool i)lucker. 
 
 But Hahmdish had counseled wisely and had abideth his time 
 
 to send out upon McFingal his wrath. 
 
 Therefore Hahmdish did a covenant make 
 
 With Wah-ne-maka, 
 
 And with Reltif, 
 
 And with Mattstan, 
 
 And with Davemahr, 
 
 And with Billedes, 
 
 And with Retrop, 
 
 To the end that he might knock out 
 
 McFingal, 
 - The Tyrone tarrier. 
 
16 
 
 Therefore spake up Hahmdish. unto his chosen, saving : 
 
 Hearken unto my words and heed thou my commands, tarry at 
 
 mine gates and watch daily by the posts of mine doors, for great 
 
 shall be 3'our reward — 
 
 Mint shalt thou have, 
 
 Bearers of sealed missives shalt thou be, 
 
 And unto the maid servants shalt thou deliver the toothsome 
 
 postal cards ; 
 
 Verily shalt thou chuckle under the chin the nurse maids who 
 
 propel the frisky perambulator over the section Avhere lieth thy 
 
 dnilj walks. 
 
 At the league island shalt thou disport thysehes, 
 
 And great shalt be your recompense ; 
 
 For verilj- I say unto you the time is at hand, 
 
 And the sign is upon McFingal, 
 
 For with his going down even am I up. 
 
 And mine is to counsel Avith sound wisdom, 
 
 And to harden my neck unto McFingal, 
 
 For verily \^•ill I put out his light, and shall watch even the 
 
 setting of his sun. 
 
 For behold even now have I a pud.ling, 
 
 And unto McFingal will I give crow. 
 
 And he did so. 
 
 For Hahmdish had grown in favor and verily had he made 
 
 ap]'roi>riation of 
 
 The bun 
 
 And all of which accounteth for yet another drop of the lacteal 
 
 fluid contained in th ^ cocoanut. 
 
BILLSTOKH, THE MARTINET. 
 
 Now it had come to pass that one Billstokh, a guardian of the 
 
 peace and safety of the inhabitants of the Quaker borough, 
 
 Had been called unto the counsels of 
 
 Reltif, the corilspinner, 
 
 Who was the high priest and mighty ruler. 
 
 Now Billstokh had been boj-n, 
 
 Like unto all men, 
 
 Of a woman 
 
 His parents were good people, 
 
 Withal poor 
 
 But honest. 
 
 At the early age of three 
 
 He took to pants and top boots. 
 
 With the advancing years of youth 
 
 He became an apprentice 
 
 Unto Arbeck, a flshermaiden, 
 
 And soon learned to stab 
 
 That succulent insect, 
 
 The roystering and nimble oyster. 
 
 For this got he his food and raiment, 
 
 Likewise became he a third hand 
 
 In a Pretzel foundry 
 
 And varnished the German fruit, likewise sandpapered it ; 
 
 Likewise builded he the Dutch Cakes— 
 
 (17) 
 
18 
 
 They with, the ringworm on top 
 
 And those without — 
 
 And he took the bakery ; 
 
 Also did his cunning hand make the Hokey Pokey bricks 
 
 Both in English 
 
 And the Italian vernacular. 
 
 And likewise madeth he the yellow jack; 
 
 Likewise ran he with the Harmony machine 
 
 And was a bunker. 
 
 For verily he was a fire laddie, 
 
 And subdued the fiery element, 
 
 And wore a fire hat 
 
 Surpassing in beauty 
 
 The tile of PoiselSenarose 
 
 " Where did you get that hat? 
 Where did you get that hat ? 
 A nobby oue I do declare : 
 Ox wants one just like that." 
 
 Now Billstokh grew apace 
 And raised corns and bunions and — 
 And became likened of many men, 
 And waxed fat. 
 
 Now Billstokh gave a great lep (leap), 
 And was made a chief mogid 
 Not once 
 Nor twice. 
 But even thrice. 
 
 But got it in the jugular on the fourth round 
 From King. 
 
19 
 
 And F.illstokh retired unto private life 
 
 From court intrigue, 
 
 From bickering faction far, 
 
 Until called unto a high place 
 
 By Eeltif, the cordspinner, 
 
 To manage the cops. 
 
 And crush out abominations 
 
 And. bawdy houses 
 
 And poke-shops 
 
 And tea-checks 
 
 And grab-bags 
 
 And fantan 
 
 And rat-shops 
 
 And faro banks 
 
 And thron gardens 
 
 And homeyards 
 
 And mettlers 
 
 A nd roops 
 
 And white elephants 
 
 And boxing retreats 
 
 And gyps 
 
 And fakirs 
 
 And rumandmusic 
 
 And discordant Pughtown harmony 
 
 And thirty pevcents on printing contracts, 
 
 And the more innocent grab bags at chui'ch fairs 
 
 And raffles for dressing and study go\\Tis for the pastor 
 
 And ditto for slippers for ditto 
 
 And dice chucking for widows' benefits 
 
20 
 
 And ditto ditto for eight day stoves, 
 And he did so. 
 
 Like 
 
 Yet Billstokh was a terror to the evil doer, 
 For ever and anon had he hay on his horns. 
 And they did beware of him ; 
 And in the consomme did he put 
 The sleepy cop. 
 And verily he was the keeper 
 Of the chroniqiie scandalnse 
 Of the Quaker borough. 
 
 But Billstokh was wise in his time, and ^heu he had heard 
 these new things and had hearkened unto the words of Reltif, 
 he spoke in low voice, saying : 
 Billstokh, get you not left. 
 And lo ! Billstctkh was a trimmer, 
 Even with the agility that bad he been a stabber. 
 Bub Billstokh was a nix cum arouze, 
 Which is revealeth later on, 
 
 And which goeth to show that Billstokh, he that with the 
 machine ran, and he that the pretzel varnished and sand- 
 papered, is no longer likened of men. 
 
RENGAW, THE IRON MAN. 
 
 Now had it come to pass tliat in tlie gerinan town <lAvelt one 
 
 Rengaw, surnanied tlie iron man, 
 
 A warrior bold, and bytimes called Tom Ferguson. 
 
 Him who had led the serried columns to the very cannon's 
 
 mouth. 
 
 For hath it not been chronicled that the colored troops fought 
 
 bravely ? 
 
 Verily it has. 
 
 And did they bounty obtain ? 
 
 They did. 
 
 And did Rengaw? 
 
 What man knoweth of this? 
 
 But Rengaw was wise, like unto a jackmule, 
 
 And possessed mule sense, 
 
 And hungered to be a mare. 
 
 Now Rengaw was a director, 
 
 And sold unto the inhabitants of the Quaker borough water and 
 
 light, or melted mnd, 
 
 Likewise kept he the borough highways in order ; 
 
 And had honest servants unto his house 
 
 Like unto him that peached, 
 
 Ahsmed, a deputy. 
 
 Now Rengaw had in councils been, 
 
 Likewise a recorder. 
 
 And other snaps had he availed himself of ; 
 
 But Rengaw desired even greater things ; 
 
 (21) 
 
22 
 
 And behold he, too, became a trimmer, 
 
 Likewise a hedger. 
 
 And possessed he perseverance, the son of faith, the t\\'in 
 
 broither of pluck, and gran<lfather of success; 
 
 And he took counsel with Eeltif, in whom he was well pleased. 
 
 And Eeltif softened his heart unto Eengaw and said: 
 
 Eengaw, thou hast been unto me a faithful servant. 
 
 But unto the contractors your name is Mud. 
 
 Why is this thus ? 
 
 And EengaAv answered, saying : Alas ! good master, thou 
 
 knowest not how sore tried has been my patience with the boss 
 
 rammers and pavers. 
 
 From the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof have I 
 
 compelled been to watch with eyes like unto a hawk the city 
 
 gravel ; 
 
 Verilj^ I BSij unto you, good master, have I kept one eye open 
 for the public good and with the other optic have I kept diligent' 
 watch to fall into th}^ old sandals. 
 And Eeltif marveled unto himself and in secret said : 
 Eengaw knoweth not the man of books, the Stuart ; 
 And Eeltif kept silence ; 
 And Eengaw was sore put. 
 
 For the sign was upon him, and yet, while he trimmer was, he 
 found no favor in the eyes of the people — 
 Which goeth to show that Eengaw, he that hath mule sense. 
 Cannot enter the temple of administration ; 
 For verily it is as hard for a pdor man a license to get 
 As for Eengaw to be a mare — 
 
 ^ hich same puttest thou, Eengaw, into thine pipe and smoke 
 thereof. 
 
ox. 
 
 Now he that testifieth unto these things, and which is written 
 
 nnto his name, 
 
 Is Ox, the keeper. 
 
 Seal ye not his sayings nor ignore his prophecy, 
 
 And let no man taketh away from the words of his book ; 
 
 For verily the sign is upon the people, and the time is at hand — 
 
 Ox to the six : 
 
 Reltif, 
 
 Billstokh, 
 
 Davemahr, 
 
 Hahmdish, 
 
 Rengaw, 
 
 McFingal, 
 
 Political grace and peace be unto ye. 
 
 (23) 
 
RELTIF. 
 
 " Oft expectation fails, and most oft there 
 Where most it promises, and oft it hits 
 Where hope is coldest and despair most sits." 
 
 Reltif, I know thy worlcs, thy labor and thy patience, even of 
 
 thy funny business am I cognizant. 
 How canst thou bear them M' hich thou callest in thy heart e\H ? 
 Thou hast labored nor hast thou fainted ; 
 ^NTevertheless I have somewhat agamst thee ; 
 For thou art even unto a trimmer, 
 And thou w^ouldst cast a stumbling block 
 Not in thine own path. 
 
 But unto that of Don Juan, he of the tribe of Kamorahn, 
 For thine eyes resteth upon and thy heart hungers after his 
 " posish " 
 That which thou hast already has set a glittering seal in thine 
 
 eye 
 Of higher of&ce. 
 
 Thou has of that which is known unto man as voluminosusceph- 
 alitis 
 
 Trim therefore, for thou art lukewarm, and if thou be neither 
 cold nor hot thou shalt be spew out t)f the mouth. 
 Therefoi-e trim. 
 
 Set thine anger against McFingal, 
 And keep bef<u'e thee the words of Mattstan if thou wouldst 
 
 succeed. 
 
 (24) 
 
BILLSTOKH. 
 
 " Let me often to these solitudes 
 Uetire, and in their presence reassure 
 My feeble virtues." 
 
 Billstoldi, I know thy works, 
 
 And that thou hast a name ; 
 
 Be watchful of ix. 
 
 I know thy works. 
 
 Beholi!, I have set before thee an open door, 
 
 And no man can shut it until thou hast passed through. 
 
 Thou hast little strength 
 
 Lay not your mind unto high things, 
 
 ^Vnd makest not a present of thy opinions too frequent. 
 
 For thou art like unto a barnacle. 
 
 Hold thou fast to that which thou hast while yet it last, 
 
 For thou art named a Dennis. 
 
 Anoint thine eyes with eyesalve that thou may seest, 
 
 That t]iou hast passed beyond the thoughts of thy fellows. 
 
 For thou art dead like unto a doornail 
 
 Politically, 
 
 Yea, like unto a multitude of soi disant political hacks thou art 
 
 dead. 
 
 Thou art bid retire unto the sequestered shades of thine own 
 
 vine and fig tree 
 
 Do so, 
 
 For a great light shalt drown thy weak lustre. 
 
 Go to, do. 
 
 (25) 
 
DAVEMAHR. 
 
 '' You have deeply ventured, 
 But all must do so who would greatly win." 
 
 DaTOiJiulir, I kno^' thy T\orks ; 
 
 Thou art even like unto a daisy, 
 
 Fair to look upon ; 
 
 Thou art no sardine, 
 
 Thou takest the cake 
 
 Thou art high cock-a-lorum 
 
 And hast found favor, 
 
 And thou shalt be praised, 
 
 And be called familiarly 
 
 By thy front name. 
 
 And they that ha-^e of the axe to grind shall fall (1ot\ii before 
 
 aud worship thee, 
 
 Not only for thine ovm sake, but also for that of Mattstan, 
 
 AVhom now is likened unto a 
 
 Perfect brick. 
 
 Verily thou art in great glee 
 
 And thou chucklest inwardly. 
 
 Canst thou perform all that which thou hast promised ? 
 
 Keep thine own self ujj, 
 
 Hold others low. 
 
 But soar not too nigh the sun. 
 
 Nor melt thy golden wings. 
 
 (26) 
 
27 
 
 Thou art now greater than before. 
 
 Let not thy new post betray thee into pride. 
 
 Hold your base, 
 
 Steal second, 
 
 But beware of McFingal 
 
 At the home plate. 
 
 Thou must needs be wise beyond thy generation. 
 
 Be so. 
 
HAHMDISH. 
 
 "Had I miscarried, I had been a villain; 
 For men judge actions always by events : 
 But when we manage by a just foresight, 
 Success is prudence, and possession right." 
 
 HAHMDISH, I know thy works ; 
 
 Yea, even thy saw-works, 
 
 And thy labor and thy patience, 
 
 Thy disappointments and thy woes ; 
 
 But now art thou even like unto a bully boy with a crockery optic ; 
 
 For verily hast thou made captive 
 
 Of Benjamin, 
 
 Likewise the big chief Wah-ne-maka, 
 
 And also of Kin-ka-de, the spread-legged Piute, 
 
 And of the gang entire. 
 
 And by thy honied words everything seemeth lovely. 
 
 And thy feathered bird is at great altitude. 
 
 More power to you. 
 
 Which is Irish and which thou hatest, 
 
 Even as thou hatest McFingal. 
 
 Nuff ced. 
 
 (28) 
 
RENGAW. 
 
 " I have no spur 
 To prick the sides of my intent, but only 
 Vaulting ambition "wliich overleaps itself 
 And falls on the other side." 
 
 RENGAW, I know thy works ; 
 
 Warrior hast thou been, 
 
 But thou hast not found favor ; 
 
 Thou hast of temper an uneven quantity, and thou lackest po^ju- 
 
 larity. 
 
 Thou art not set down as a bully boy ; 
 
 Neither art thou like unto a perfect brick. 
 
 Verily thou art too fresh. 
 
 Thou canst run anybody else's machine, but thou canst not run 
 
 thine own. 
 
 Thou art a delicate parcel, but 
 
 I have somewhat against thee, for thou art filled with vanity ; 
 
 Even dost thou think that the sun riseth and setteth on thee. 
 
 Like unto McFingal, thou art a back number ; 
 
 Thou art a low cock-a-highrem. 
 
 Thou puttest thy wits upon a whetstone, and a keen edge on thy 
 
 language. 
 
 " So dost thou aim thy darts which, even when 
 They kill, the poisons do but wake the men." 
 
 Thou hast allowed thy wisdom to run a-muck. 
 
 Thou art a splinter 
 
 (29) 
 
30 
 
 And, lo ! a wooden man 
 
 Bait thou thy hook with hope. 
 
 'Tis fortune's cheating lottery, and thou shalt draw 
 
 A blank. 
 
 Hoj)e, 
 
 'Twill court thee on with gleams that shall delude thee, 
 
 And, lo ! that which thou countest upon will be 
 
 A dream. 
 
 And like as thou hast done, that same shall be done unto thee, 
 
 For thou art blacklisted, 
 
 And thou flounderest in the broth. 
 
MCFINGAL. 
 
 " Such a house broke ! 
 So noble a master fallen ! all gone ! and not 
 One friend to take his fortune by the arm 
 And go along with him ? " 
 
 " Thus does the ever changing course of things 
 Kun a perpetual circle, ever turning ; 
 And that same day, that highest glory brings, 
 Brings us unto the point of back returning." 
 
 McFINGAL, I know thy works ; 
 Two strikes have been called on thee ; 
 Even thou hast borne and hast patience, 
 Slide, McFingal, slide. 
 
 And for thy followers hast thou done a heap much ; 
 Them hast thou lovest, yea, even hast thou had for them the tooth- 
 ache of the heart. 
 Murdering turf howld- yer base. 
 
 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, for thou art filled with 
 avarice. 
 
 Remember, therefore, from whence thou art fallen 
 Even into the soup. 
 I know thy works, oh, McFingal, 
 And thou art red hot ; 
 But it availeth thee not one jot or tittle. 
 For behold, like unto Billstokh, I set thee before an open door ; 
 
 Pass thou through the same : 
 
 (31) 
 
32 
 
 For Davemahr hath so ordained. 
 
 McFingal, thou art a back number. 
 
 Say, mon, can't you see the ball ? 
 
 Takest thou up thy lines unto more pleasant places. 
 
 Well hast thou progged and plotted 
 
 And gave with lavish hand unto thy followers of the official cream. 
 
 What hast thou gained if what thou gainest 
 
 Lose but its careful keeper ? 
 
 McFingal, thou of Tyrone, thy golden dream is o'er. 
 
 " The cheat, ambition, eager to expouse 
 Dominion, courts it with a lying show. 
 And shines in borrowed pomp to serve a turn ; 
 But the match made, the farce is at an end." 
 
 And lo, McFingal, all 
 
 "the hireling equipage of virtues, 
 Faith, honor, justice, gratitude and friendship. 
 Discharged at once." 
 
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