f 
 
 -1^ PRICE TWrENTY-FIVE CENTS 
 
 r^ 
 
 WITH THE 
 
 STARS AND STRIPES 
 
 IN FRANCE 
 
 BY 
 
 FRANK DUMONT 
 
 THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 PHILADELPHIA 
 
Successful Rural Plays 
 
 A Strong List From Wkich to Select Your 
 Next Play 
 
 FABM FOLKS. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
 Lewis Tubes. For five male and six female characters. Time 
 of playing, two hours and a half. One simple exterior, two 
 easy interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Flora Goodwin, a 
 farmer's daughter, is engaged to Philip Burleigh, a young New 
 Yorker. Philip's mother wants him to marry a society woman, 
 and by falsehoods makes Flora believe Philip does not love her. 
 Dave Weston, who wants Flora himself, helps the deception by 
 intercepting a letter from Philip to Flora. She agrees to marry 
 Dave, but on the eve of their marriage Dave confesses, Philip 
 learns the truth, and he and Flora are reunited. It is a simple 
 plot, but full of speeches and situations that sway an audience 
 alternately to tears and to laughter. Price, 25 cents. 
 
 HOME TIES. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
 Lewis Tubes. Characters, four male, five female. Plays two 
 hours and a half. Scene, a simple interior — same for all four 
 acts. Costumes, modern. One of the strongest plays Mr. Tubbs 
 has written. Martin Winn's wife left him when his daughter 
 Ruth was a baby. Harold Vincent, the nephew and adopted son 
 of the man who has wronged Martin, makes love to Ruth Winn. 
 She is also loved by Len Everett, a prosperous young farmer. 
 When Martin discovers who Harold is, he orders him to leave 
 Ruth. Harold, who does not love sincerely, yields. Ruth dis- 
 covers she loves Len, but thinks she has lost him also. Then 
 he comes back, and Ruth finds her happiness. Price 25 cents. 
 
 THE OLD NEW HAMPSHIRE HOME. A New 
 
 England Drama in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For seven 
 males and four females. Time, two hours and a half. Costumes, 
 modern. A play with a strong heart interest and pathos, yet rich 
 in humor. Easy to act and very effective. A rural drama of 
 the "Old Homstead" and "Way Down East" type. Two ex- 
 terior scenes, one interior, all easy to set. Full of strong sit- 
 uations and delightfully humorous passages. The kind of a play 
 everybody understands and lik^s. Price, 25 cents. 
 
 THE OLD DAIRY HOMESTEAD. A Rural Comedy 
 in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For five males and four 
 females. Time, two hours. Rural costumes. Scenes rural ex- 
 terior and interior. An adventurer obtains a large sum of money 
 from a farm house through the intimidation of the farmer's 
 niece, whose husband he claims to be. Her escapes from the 
 wiles of the villain and his female accomplice are both starting 
 and novel. Price, 15 cents. 
 
 A WHITE MOUNTAIN BOY. A Strong Melodrama in 
 Five Acts, by Charles Townsend. For seven males and four 
 females, and three supers. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 
 One exterior, three interiors. Costumes easy. The hero, a 
 country lad, twice saves the life of a banker's daughter, which 
 results in their betrothal. A scoundrelly clerk has the banker 
 in his power, but the White Mountain boy finds a way to check- 
 mate his schemes, saves the banker, and wins the girl. Price 
 15 cents. 
 
 THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 PHILADELPHIA 
 
With the Stars and 
 Stripes in France 
 
 A War Melodrama in Three Acts 
 
 By 
 
 FRANK DUMONT 
 
 Author of ''A Gunner in the Navy, 
 **The Cuban Spy,'' etc. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA 
 
 THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 191 8 
 
<h 
 
 4 xK 
 
 
 Copyright 191 8 by The Penn Publishing Company 
 
 '^S^22idi8 
 
 With the Stars and Stripes in France 
 
 ©CLD 50750 
 
With the Stars and Stripes in France 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Samuel Lee - - - a brave young American foreman in 
 
 the Sanders Munition Works 
 Philip Barclay - - a German spy who carefully con- 
 ceals his real name — Ludwig 
 Rhinehart 
 
 John Glitter his accomplice 
 
 Johnson Jenks druggist and bill poster 
 
 Jacob Stitch a tailor 
 
 Felix Flaxseed a rube 
 
 Simpson Crabface a colored barber 
 
 Parson Crabface his father 
 
 CtOTTLIEB \ 
 
 Siegfried i soldiers in the German army 
 
 Lieutenant in the American army 
 
 Major in the German army 
 
 Mabel Sanders - daughter of the chief owner of the 
 munition factory 
 
 Widow Hobson with many admirers 
 
 LouELLA Butler - - - - a colored manicure artiste 
 
 American and German soldier s^ American citizens^ etc. 
 Time : — Two hours. 
 
 STORY OF THE PLAY 
 
 Sam Lee, a young foreman in a factory where shells 
 are being made for the U. S. Army, loves Mabel 
 Sanders, daughter of the owner. Ludwig Rhine- 
 hart tries to ruin Sam and win the girl. Sam en- 
 lists, meets Rhinehart on the French front, and 
 finally exposes him as a German spy. 
 
 3 
 
COSTUMES, ETC. 
 
 Samuel Lee. Twenty-five to thirty. In Act I plainly 
 dressed as an American factory foreman in street 
 summer costume; straw hat. Acts II and III, 
 uniform of sergeant of infantry, U. S. Army. 
 Bandage on head. 
 
 Philip Barclay. About forty. Act I, blonde. Wears 
 light beard. Handsome summer business suit and 
 hat. Act II, uniform of captain of infantry, U. S. 
 Army. Wears moustache. Act III, uniform of 
 colonel or higher officer in German Army. 
 Moustache now turned up at ends in Prussian 
 fashion. 
 
 John Glitter. About forty. Act I, plainly dressed, 
 in dark suit and hat. Dark moustache. Act II, 
 uniform of private in U. S. Army. Smooth face. 
 
 Johnson Jenks. About fifty. Act I, eccentric cos- 
 tume, loud checks, wig, etc. May wear large 
 tortoise-shell glasses. Acts II and III, same wig 
 and glasses, but wears uniform of private in 
 medical or ambulance corps, with a red cross 
 " brassard " on arm. 
 
 Jacob Stitch. About fifty. Act I, eccentric cos- 
 tume. May be played as a Jew or Swede. Acts 
 II and III, uniform of private in U. S. Army. 
 
 Felix Flaxseed. About twenty. Act I, flaxen wig. 
 Small derby. Trousers too short. Low shoes, 
 etc. A " rube " costume. Acts II and III, ap- 
 pears as soldier in U. S. Army ; still looks a little 
 rustic, but not too much so. 
 
 Simpson Crabface. About thirty. Colored. Act I, 
 costume of a barber. Trousers of a loud check 
 or plaid. White duck coat. Acts II and III, 
 private in U. S. Army, with red cross " brassard " 
 on arm. 
 
 Parson Crabface. Old man. White hair and beard. 
 
/PBOPEBTIES 
 
 Spectacles. Rusty long ^ black coat and black 
 trousers. Battered high hat. Carries cane. 
 
 Gottlieb, Siegfried. Soldiers in German Army, 
 One old, one young. One fat, the other thin. 
 Both wear uniform of private, widi spiked hel- 
 met, trench " tin hat," or the round flat cap of 
 German infantryman. 
 
 Lieutenant. About thirty. Uniform of lieutenant 
 of infantry, U. S. Army. 
 
 Major. About fifty. Very fat. Uniform of 
 major, German Army. Spiked helmet. 
 
 Mabel Sanders. About twenty-one. A pretty girl. 
 In Act I wears handsome summer costume. Hat. 
 Parasol. Hand-bag. Act II, uniform of U. S. 
 Army nurse, with blue cape. Act HI, same cos- 
 tume, without cape. 
 
 Widow Hobson. Forty-five. Fair and fat. Act I, 
 street costume. Carries large knitting bag and 
 stout umbrella. Acts II and HI, blue uniform 
 suit, with short skirt, belt and small hat. Still 
 carries large umbrella. 
 
 LouELLA. About twenty-five. Colored. Act I, white 
 duck suit ; no hat. Acts II and HI, wears a half 
 military, half nurse costume. She is supposed to 
 be a helper at a military hospital. 
 
 American and German soldiers wear appropriate uni- 
 forms and carry rifles. 
 
 PROPERTIES 
 
 Lee: Bandage around head; rifle; folded papers. 
 
 Philip: Sealed and stamped letter; a match; purse 
 with money; other loose money; two folded 
 papers ; two pistols ; an electric flash-light. 
 
 Jenks: Recruiting poster, to be put up with brush 
 and paste taken from a pail ; or if preferred may 
 be fastened with thumb-tacks ; two pistols ; folded 
 paper. 
 
 Glitter: Sealed envelope. 
 
 Felix: Large American flag; pistol; costume of a 
 
 5 
 
SCENE PLOTS 
 
 peasant girl, with apron and "Normandy cap"; 
 
 two handkerchiefs. 
 Jacob : A loaf of black bread. 
 Simpson: Razor; a collection of old tools, such as 
 
 saw, hammer, chisel, etc.; pack of cards; rope 
 
 with slip-knot to form a lasso. 
 Gottlieb and other German soldiers : Rifles. 
 Lieutenant : Pistol ; short piece of rope ; large hand- 
 kerchief for bandaging eyes. 
 American Soldiers: Rifles; one soldier carries an 
 
 American flag. 
 Mabel: Hand-bag; small flag-handkerchief or small 
 
 silk American flag. 
 Louella: Manicuring tools; razor; rifle; pistol. 
 
 SCENE PLOTS 
 Act I 
 SACK n Kop- SHQi^^/A/e g rnsE r 
 
 Scene. — A street in a small American city. Back 
 drop shows street scene. Exits up R. and L. and 
 through store doors. A bill-board up L. shows 
 posters, recruiting notices, etc. Up l. store front 
 with sign in front, " Johnson Jenks. Drug Store. 
 Post-Oflice. Also Bill Poster." Further down l. 
 another store front with sign, " Simpson Crabface. 
 \ 6 
 
SCENE PLOTS 
 
 Tonsorial and Manicure Parlor." Barber pole in 
 front of shop or attached to it. Up R. wood wing 
 and further down R. a store front with sign, 
 " Jacob Stitch, Tailor." 
 
 Acts II and III 
 
 Scene. — A room in a half ruined chateau in France, 
 supposed to be near the front. Up r. c. is a large 
 window, high up in the wall, or a ragged hole sup- 
 posed to have been made by shell-fire. Doors R. 
 and L. Up R. a rickety table and chair or box. 
 Boxes or old chairs and stools down r. and l. 
 Up L. a collection of boxes, barrels, and rubbish. 
 Backing shows exterior scene. 
 
With the Stars and Stripes 
 in France 
 
 ACT I 
 
 SCENE. — A street in a small town. Street scene at 
 hack. At I., is a shop front with a barter's pole 
 and sign, ''Simpson Crahface. Sanitary Ton- 
 sorial and Manicure Parlor." Further up l. is 
 another store front with sign, "Johnson Jenks. 
 Drug Store. Post-Office. Also Bill Poster." 
 
 (At R. a store front with sign, " Jacob Stitch, Tailor." 
 Up stage l. a hill-board or space for Jenks to put 
 up a poster. Exits to stores and also street exits 
 up R. and L.) 
 
 {Lively music for opening. Enter, up r., Felix Flax- 
 seed, looking awkwardly around.) 
 
 Felix. My, how this place has improved since they 
 built the ammunition factory! It begins to look 
 like a real city. I'm kinder tired of the farm. 
 I want to see some city life. 
 
 {Enter Jacob Stitch from his store r.) 
 
 Jacob, You're just in time, young man. Looking 
 for a new suit of clothes, ain't you? Here's the 
 place — step in. I got just the thing for you, a 
 nice blue with 
 
 {Enter Simpson Crabface from his shop, l.) 
 9 
 
WITS THE STABS AND STBIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Simpson. Ah ! A customer. Wait a minute, boss. 
 
 Don't you want a shave? 
 
 Felix (rubbing his face). Why, mebbe I do. I 
 
 Jacob (pulling Felix r.). Here, you're going to buy 
 
 a suit. 
 Simpson (pulling Felix l.). What! Put on a new 
 
 suit before you're shaved? That ain't right. 
 
 Shave first. Dress afterward. Come on. You're 
 
 next. 
 
 (Johnson Jenks enters from store l. with posters, 
 pail and paste brush. He proceeds to bill-board 
 and begins to put up a poster headed, " Recruits 
 Wanted:') 
 
 Felix. Here. Lemme alone, daggone it. I've 
 
 changed my mind. 
 Jacob (scornfully). Your mind! 
 Felix. Yes. I don't want a suit, and I guess I don't 
 
 want a shave. 'Tain't Saturday night yet. 
 Jenks (coming down l. c. to Felix). That's right, 
 
 young fellow. Don't buy a suit or a shave. Go 
 
 into the army, and Uncle Sam will give you a new 
 
 suit of clothes and a shave for nothing. 
 Felix. Say, I'll think that over. 
 Simpson. But you need a shave now. You also need 
 
 a shampoo and a hair cut, and you ought to be 
 
 manicured. Come on, man! 
 
 (Takes Felix hy the arm.) 
 
 (Enter Louella from Simpson's shop, l. She has 
 manicuring tools in her hands.) 
 
 Louella. Who said manicure? Here I am right on 
 the job. If I do say it myself, I'm the most ex- 
 pertest female manicurist that ever manicured 
 fingers. Let me see your hand. (Takes Felix's 
 hand.) Are you a farmer? 
 
 Felix (l. c). Uh-huh. 
 
 Louella (l.). I thought so. I see you like to carry 
 your soil around with you. Let me separate you 
 from it. Come right into the beauty parlor. 
 
 ID 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STEIFES IN FRANCE 
 
 Felix. Here — wait a moment until I decide what 
 I'm going to do. 
 
 {Enter Philip Barclay, up r. He pauses up r. C 
 Jacob and Simpson how to him.) 
 
 Simpson {down l.). How do you do, sir? Glad to 
 hear you are planning a new addition to the shell 
 factory. 
 
 Philip. Ah, yes. WeVe needed it for a long time. 
 Can't keep up with our orders, nowadays. 
 
 {Strolls L. toward post-office and enters it. Jenks 
 follows.) 
 
 Simpson. That's a fine man. He's part owner of 
 that factory and I hear he's applying for a com- 
 mission in the army. 
 
 (Jenks stops up c.) 
 
 Stitch. Huh, you don't know him. No army for 
 
 him. 
 Felix. Army! Army! That's all I hear wherever 
 
 I go. 
 
 (Jenks comes down c.) 
 
 Jenks. And that's all you are going to hear until the 
 
 Kaiser gets a good walloping. 
 Felix (l. c). I'd like to be one that will help to 
 
 get it for him. 
 
 (Philip reenters l., holding a letter. He crosses 
 down R. and opens his letter, hut while pretending 
 to read it is listening to the others.) 
 
 Jenks (c). Then here's your chance. Uncle Sam 
 wants some real men to help him down that war 
 loving barbarian villain. {Points to poster.) 
 
 Philip {down r.). A man would be acting like a 
 simpleton to go into the army tmtil he is actually 
 needed or drafted. 
 
 Jenks. Is that so? Well — if they were all like you — 
 
 II 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STEIPES W FRANCE 
 
 Staying here when you should be in the trenches — ■ 
 I don't know how we'd ever defeat the Kaiser. 
 
 Philip. I have a duty to perform here. 
 
 Jenks (c). Duty, hey? Well, a fine big man like 
 you could be more useful on the other side. 
 
 Philie {haughtily). That's about enough. I know 
 my business. But how about you yourself? 
 (Sneeringly.) If you're so anxious why not sign 
 up to-day? (Points to poster.) 
 
 Jenks. Well, maybe you think I couldn't fight. 
 Maybe not. Maybe I'll show you. (Struts up 
 and down.) I ain't afraid of you or old Kaiser 
 Wilhellum, either. (Snaps fingers.) 
 
 Philip. Don't get excited. I merely advised this 
 young man for his own welfare. 
 
 Jenks. Advise him? Fine advice — not to defend 
 the flag ! 
 
 Philip. Oh, one flag is just as good as another. They 
 merely represent so much bunting. It's a matter 
 of sentiment — that's all. 
 
 Jenks (c). Not the Stars and Stripes! No, sir. 
 The red represents the blood of the patriots of 
 1776; the white is the patriotism of all Amer- 
 icans ; and the blue and the stars are like those in 
 heaven — the whole world can't pull them down. 
 
 (All but Philip applaud. Felix goes up l. and reads 
 poster.) 
 
 Philip. You have a right to your opinion, and I have 
 a right to mine. We shall see what we shall see. 
 
 Jenks (laughing). I'll lend you a telescope so you 
 can see it all right. 
 
 Simpson. Oh, oh, I forgot. I have a man in my 
 shop waiting to be shaved, and his mouth's full 
 of lather. (Runs into shop, l.) 
 
 LouELLA. My land, that's so, and he'll have a mouth- 
 ful of talk by now. (Runs into shop, l.) 
 
 (Enter Mabel Sanders up l. Close behind her enters 
 John Glitter. Mabel is about to enter post- 
 office, but pauses at the door.) 
 12 
 
WITH TEE STABS AND STBIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Jacob (r.). Well, I've lost a customer by all this 
 foolishness. Mr. Jenks, you are a busybody. 
 
 Jenks {crossing r.). Glad of it. If it weren't for 
 the busybodies you'd never find out anything. 
 
 Philip {going to Jenks, r.). Sometimes it's danger- 
 ous to find out too much. 
 
 (Glitter comes down r. c.) 
 
 Jenks. Sometimes a spy finds out too much, and 
 gets his neck in a halter, or is put up against a 
 v^all and filled with good American bullets. 
 
 Philip. Do you dare insinuate that I am a spy? 
 
 (Mabel comes down l. c.) 
 
 Glitter. Mr. Jenks, you should be careful what you 
 say. You forget that Mr. Barclay is part owner 
 of the Sanders factory, and has done much for 
 this town. Mr. Barclay is a gentleman, and will 
 soon be an officer in the United States Army. 
 
 Mabel. Thank you, Mr. Glitter. You took the 
 words out of my mouth. It's a shame to attack 
 a man like Mr. Barclay with such mean suspicions. 
 {To Jenks.) You are too free in your denuncia- 
 tion, and I believe you will regret it. 
 
 Jenks. Oh, no, I won't. I don't take back anything 
 that I have said. I know a thing or two. He's 
 a snake in the grass, and I will prove it. And, 
 Miss Sanders, let me warn you at the same time. 
 Don't be too sure that he is a gentleman. {Crosses 
 up L. and slaps Felix on the back. Mabel shrugs 
 her shoulders and crosses to Philip, r.) Come 
 along, young fellow. I'll put your name down. 
 Enlist and show these slackers that all patriotism 
 isn't dead in this town. 
 
 Felix. I'll go you ! And you can bet I'll defend the 
 flag that waves over the land that gave me birth. 
 
 Jenks. That's the stuff, boy. 
 
 {They go toward shop l. Exit Felix.) 
 Glitter {to Philip). Here is some mail for you, 
 
 13 
 
WITS THE STABS AND STBIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 sir — {aside) the plan you wanted of the new 
 factory. 
 
 {Hands envelope.) 
 
 Philip. Hush ! 
 
 {Slips envelope into pocket of coat.- Jenks watches 
 this, then exit L. into shop.) 
 
 Glitter. I'll go in and talk to that man. I'll make 
 him apologize to you. Spy, indeed ! Outrageous ! 
 
 {Exit L. to Jenks' store.) 
 
 Jacob. Well, all I got to say is, war is sending busi- 
 ness to the deuce. Here I lost a customer al- 
 ready this morning. My, my, what are we com- 
 ing to? I guess I'll go call on the widder. 
 
 {Exit, up R.) 
 
 Philip. Miss Sanders, I wish to thank you for speak- 
 ing in my behalf. Your father trusts me. You 
 know that. 
 
 Mabel (r. c). Yes. 
 
 Philip (r.). And he knows my true character better 
 than these sneaking fellows. As long as I stand 
 well in your estimation let the curs bark at my 
 heels. 
 
 Mabel {a little confused). I will not see any one 
 unjustly accused if I can prevent it, Mr. Barclay. 
 
 Philip. You know how much a word of defense 
 from you means to me. 
 
 Mabel. Please don't, Mr. Barclay. 
 
 Philip. But you cannot prevent me from admiring 
 you! 
 
 Mabel {smiling). Perhaps not. No woman ever 
 objects to admiration. But we cannot accept it 
 too openly from every one. 
 
 Philip. Yet there is at least one from whom you 
 accept it. 
 
 Mabel. Mr. Barclay! You have no right 
 
 14 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Philip (bowing). You make me painfully aware of 
 
 that. I wish my name were Lee. 
 Mabel (Hirning away). I will not listen to such talk. 
 
 It's unfair. (She crosses up r. c.) 
 Philip (laughing). Oh! All is fair in love and 
 
 war. Sam Lee is a fine young man, and I envy 
 
 him. 
 Mabel (coldly). You have no occasion. There is 
 
 nothing between Mr. Lee and me. 
 Philip (going toward her, up r. c). Ah, then I 
 
 may hope 
 
 Mabel (decidedly). No! You are very much mis- 
 taken. If you were the last man in the world I 
 
 would not listen to a word of love from you. 
 
 The world is wide, Mr. Barclay, and you may 
 
 win some other girl. 
 
 (Exit, up R.) 
 
 Philip (going up c. and looking after her). Ah! 
 Ha! Just as I thought. But I haven't lost yet. 
 (Comes down r.) Her father will give her a 
 good talking to, and the way will then be easier. 
 All in good time. All in good time. 
 
 (Enter, up l., Samuel Lee. He is about to enter 
 post-office L. when Philip motions to him, and 
 Lee comes down r.) 
 
 Lee. Did you wish to speak to me? 
 
 Philip. Yes. What's the matter at the factory? 
 
 Lee (cautiously). You know as well as I do. You 
 
 are there every day. 
 Philip. It's lucky I am. I found this on the floor 
 
 of one of your filling rooms yesterday. 
 
 (Takes match from pocket and holds it up.) 
 
 Lee. Every one who enters is searched for matches. 
 
 You know that. 
 Philip. I know a lot of things happen that you as 
 
 superintendent are supposed to prevent. 
 Lee (coldly). Indeed! 
 
 15 
 
WITS THE STAMS AND STBlPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Philip. Yes. There was a fire in Room No. 2 at 
 9 : 30 this morning. 
 
 Lee {startled). How did you hear that? Only one 
 person in the factory beside myself knew it. It 
 was all over in a few seconds. 
 
 Philip. Well, as a stockholder I make it my business 
 to keep informed about the factory — {signifi- 
 cantly) and about its superintendent. There may 
 be spies about. 
 
 (Jenks sticks his head cautiously out of store door 
 up -L.) 
 
 Lee. You are quite right — spies who are very close 
 to everything in the factory. Spies who perhaps 
 are not suspected on account of their high posi- 
 tions. 
 
 Philip. I think so too. You are a clever fellow and 
 ought to discover the scoundrels. Here ! I want 
 to make you a little present to keep an eye on 
 certain suspicious characters. (Gives money.) 
 
 Lee. You needn't pay me, Mr. Barclay, if that is your 
 name, to watch the ammunition needed for our 
 soldiers in France. It's my duty as an American 
 to do so. {Throws money at Philip.) What 
 are you trying to do — bribe me? There's some- 
 thing crooked about this, Mr. Barclay. 
 
 Philip {picking up money). Crooked or not, you'll 
 treat me with respect or lose your job. I've had 
 my eye on you for some time, Mr. Lee. Look 
 out! 
 
 Lee. You bet I'll look out. But don't get your eye 
 too near my fist unless you want it well blacked. 
 
 Philip {going up r.). You've had your warning. 
 
 {Exit, up R.) 
 
 {Enter Jenks from his store up l. He comes down 
 R. c.) 
 
 Jenks. I heard it all! That's the scoundrel that's 
 at the bottom of all the trouble in the factory. 
 Why in the world did Sanders ever let him in? 
 16 
 
With the stabs and steip£S in fbancj^ 
 
 He represents a German group bound to destroy 
 all ammunition factories in this country. And 
 Glitter is another of the gang. 
 
 Lee. Oh, I've suspected them from the first. But 
 I can't prove anything, and neither can you. 
 You've got to be awfully sure before you openly 
 accuse him. A charge like that sometimes has a 
 big kick in it. Barclay has influential friends in 
 Washington and the alliance clubs are back of 
 him. But follow him. Don't lose track of him, 
 and report to me. 
 
 Jenks. Trust me, Sam. From now on I'm on his 
 trail, and I won't lose sight of him for a minute. 
 I'll knock seventeen different kinds of sour krout 
 out of him — see if I don't. 
 
 {Exit, R.) 
 
 Lee. I will see Mabel and tell her all. She has 
 spurned my love, it seems, because I am merely 
 an employee in her father's factory. I did think 
 at one time that I had won her love, and life was 
 worth living. But now — well, it's the old story — 
 the old story. 
 
 {Exit to post-office, l.) 
 
 {Enter Glitter from post-office, l., and looks around. 
 In a moment enter Philip up r.) 
 
 Glitter. Ah, Ludwig, there you are! 
 
 Philip {looking about him). Hush |^ Are you crazy? 
 Never speak the name of Ludwig Rhinehart aloud. 
 And then these plans of the factory {takes en- 
 velope from pocket) — why did you give them to 
 me when Miss Sanders was present? Why, it 
 was insane, positively insane. 
 
 Glitter. But they were sealed. 
 
 Philip. Never mind. You are getting careless. Did 
 you not hear that fellow Jenks openly accuse me 
 of being a spy? More caution, my friend, more 
 caution. 
 
 17 
 
wits THE STABS AiTD STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Glitter, I will remember it. You'll find everything 
 there — the plans and specifications — everything. 
 (Jenks strolls on unobserved up r.) Now, when 
 do I get the hundred dollars? 
 
 Philip. Right now. 
 
 {Puts envelope into side pocket of coat, pulls out 
 purse, takes out money, and hands to Glitter. ) 
 
 Glitter. Thank you. That's right. 
 
 Philip. Now be very careful hereafter. Never ad- 
 dress me as Ludwig Rhinehart or be seen too 
 often in conversation with me. 
 
 (Jenks comes down r., slyly takes the papers from 
 Philip's pocket, and strolls off up r.) 
 
 Glitter. What are you going to do with that fellow 
 Lee? 
 
 Philip. Have him discharged from the factory as a 
 spy and driven away from this town. He went 
 into the post-office a short time ago. Keep an 
 eye on him. Our safety demands it. 
 
 Glitter. I'll do it. Ach — these stupid pigs of Amer- 
 icans! They can never find out anything about 
 us, and when this shell factory is destroyed we 
 have served the fatherland. 
 
 {Exit to post-office, l.) 
 
 Philip. And that will happen before a great while. 
 No more good shells must leave here if I can 
 prevent it. 
 
 {As he goes up c. Mabel enters up r. He is about 
 to speak, but she boivs coldly and conies down R. 
 Philip, enraged, stands up r. Lee enters l. and 
 comes down to Mabel. Philip, with an angry 
 exclamation, goes off up r.) 
 
 Lee. Miss Sanders. 
 Mabel. Oh, Mr. Lee. 
 
 Lee. Miss Sanders, I've been wanting to see you — 
 to ask your advice. 
 
 18 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Mabel.' My advice? Why, I can't think it is of any 
 
 value, but you're welcome. 
 Lee. I've been feeling I ought to go into the army. 
 Mabel. Oh, no! 
 Lee. Why not? The country needs every man who 
 
 can carry a gun. 
 Mabel. Yes, but you — you are so valuable to the 
 
 factory. My father says so. You are helping 
 
 the army here. 
 Lee. Some one else could do my work. Besides, I 
 
 have not a free hand. I'm hampered. Some- 
 body or something is interfering. 
 Mabel. Don't you know who it is? 
 Lee. No — ^yes, I think I do. 
 Mabel. Then act at once — to-day. See father 
 
 about it. 
 Lee. Miss Sanders {bitterly) your father would not 
 
 listen. 
 Mabel. Oh, but he will. I'll make him. He must. 
 Lee. No — it's no use. I'd better go into the army. 
 
 Mabel. Oh, don't, I beg of you 
 
 Lee. What? Then you care 
 
 Mabel (hastily). I mean — you must not act hastily. 
 
 I'm going to talk to father. (She starts up R.) 
 Lee (following). No, please, I'll handle this myself. 
 
 But you can't think how much it means to me that 
 
 you are interested. 
 Mabel. It means a great deal to me to see you 
 
 succeed. 
 Lee. I'll remember that. And I'll think it over — 
 
 what you said. 
 Mabel. Do. And tell me to-morrow what you de- 
 cide — to fight for your country in the field, or to 
 
 work for her here. 
 Lee. I will. Good-bye. (They shake hands.) 
 Mabel. Good-bye. 
 
 (Exit, R.) 
 
 Lee. Ah, she's a girl in a thousand. If I only 
 
 dared 
 
 {Exit, L.) 
 
 19 
 
WITM THE STABS AND STMIFES IN FRANCE 
 
 {Enter Simpson Crabface from his shop l., quarrel- 
 
 ing with Louella, who crosses to R., followed by 
 Simpson, who has a razor.) 
 
 LouELLA. Don't you pull no razor on me, nigger, or 
 your father will preach the obsequies over your 
 decomposed body. 
 
 Simpson. Then don't pick on me. Don't threaten 
 me, woman. We ain't married yet, so you ain't 
 got none of them privileges. 
 
 LouELLA. We ain't married yet, but it's just the same. 
 I've got the refusal of you. 
 
 Simpson. Suppose I don't choose to put a rope 
 'round my neck? 
 
 LouELLA. Then I'll sue you for breeches of trust. 
 
 Simpson. Ha! ha! ha! Breeches of trust. You 
 mean promise of connubial felixity. 
 
 LouELLA. You know what I mean. You think be- 
 cause you've got a barber shop, where all the 
 politicians and business men get shaved, that 
 you're somebody. {Laughs.) Why, you're only 
 an ignorant nigger, and you'll never get over it. 
 
 Simpson. Don't you insult my occupation to my face. 
 {Blusters up in anger.) When you do that, you 
 cast a reflection on my tonsorial ability. 
 
 LouELLA. I don't care about your tonsils nor your 
 disability. You can't bluff me, nigger. There's 
 Indian blood in me. 
 
 Simpson. Who cares about that? You can't scalp 
 me. 
 
 LouELLA. No, but I can manicure your face for you. 
 
 {Shakes fist.) 
 
 Simpson. There's my jaw. You manicure it. 
 Woman, I'll certainly have to sue you for defama- 
 tion of E. Pluribus Unum! 
 
 LouELLA. Don't you call me that. Don't you call 
 me a plurisy woman. 
 
 {She slaps him. He fights back. At that moment 
 Parson Crabface enters up l. He comes down 
 20 
 
WITH THE STARS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 between them and receives several blows that 
 knock off his hat.) 
 
 Parson. Here ! here ! here ! What do you mean by 
 this antagonistic demonstration? {Picks up hat.) 
 Have you no respect for the ministry? What's 
 all this turmoil? {Both try to talk at once to ex- 
 plain matters.) Wait a minute. One at a time! 
 Now — elucidate. 
 
 Simpson. She started on me first. 
 
 LouELLA. Now ain't that just like that man? He 
 picked on me and exasperated my feelings. 
 
 Simpson. She threatened to take my life. 
 
 LouELLA. That ain't nothin' to what he was goin' to 
 do to me. 
 
 Parson. I'm ashamed of you both. If you go on 
 in this manner now, what are you going to do 
 when you are tied up in the blessed state of con- 
 jugial circumstances? 
 
 Simpson. She ain't got no right to boss me yet. 
 
 LouELLA. I may as well begin now as any time. 
 
 Parson. I repeat, I'm ashamed of you. How these 
 here white folks goin' to live right if you don't 
 set them a good example? But here you is, 
 fightin' and quarrelin' right before this Sanatorial- 
 Tonsorial Emporium! No wonder white folks 
 laugh at your qualifications. 
 
 Simpson. I'se got feelin's, I has. 
 
 LouELLA. I'se got more feelin's than you. I was 
 brought up different. 
 
 Parson. No more bickering or quarreling. Shake 
 hands over the bloody chasm ! Forget it. Come 
 to church Sunday, and don't forget the contribu- 
 tion box. Now, go in your barber shop, and try 
 to be human beings. Go on, now. Don't talk 
 back. Go in. There's enough war going on 
 without having it here in this family. Go in, I 
 say — accelerate your movements. {Bus. Drives 
 them both into the barber shop, l. They try to 
 talk back and explain.) Go in or I'll lick both of 
 you. 
 
 21 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 {All exeunt into shop, l.) 
 
 {Enter, up l.. Widow Hobson and Jacob Stitch, 
 arm in arm. They come down c.) 
 
 Jacob. Oh, if I should be drafted and go in the army 
 
 what would you do ? 
 Widow. Well, there are lots of slackers. I guess I'd 
 
 have to be satisfied with a slacker. 
 Jacob. Then I'll be a slacker! 
 Widow. Oh, no. I want to many a soldier ! 
 Jacob. Suppose I come back without any arms or 
 
 legs? 
 Widow. I've always had a perfect passion for rem- 
 nants. 
 Jacob. I know — but without arms or legs. That 
 
 would be awful. 
 Widow. I'd carry you around with a shawl strap! 
 
 At any rate, I would know you couldn't go out 
 
 alone, and I would know you couldn't hug any 
 
 other girl. {Goes l.) 
 Jacob {following). I don't want any other girl. 
 
 Let's get married now. 
 Widow. Oh, no, I never do anything in a hurry. 
 
 Let me see how you look in a uniform first. 
 Jacob. I'll enlist right away. {Marches up and 
 
 down.) I'll show you what a fine man I am. 
 
 Come to my arms. 
 
 {Suddenly embraces her as Jenks enters up r.) 
 
 Jenks. Hello! Break away! Well — I like that. 
 
 {Comes down c.) 
 
 Jacob {downu). So do I. That's why I'm doing it. 
 Jenks. But not in front of me. I won't stand for 
 
 it. Oh, no. Are you aware, sir, that this lady 
 
 is mortgaged to me? 
 Widow {down l. c). Wait a moment! I am still 
 
 free! I said I would marry the one that looked 
 
 best in a uniform. 
 Jenks {down c). All right. That goes. I'll enlist 
 
 22 
 
WITR THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 and let my drug store and the bill posting busi- 
 ness go to the deuce! Oh! Love — love — what 
 will a poor man not do for love? 
 Jacob. Ah! You're off your noodles. No use of 
 you going to war. I'm her next husband. 
 
 (Widow retreats up c.) 
 
 Jenks. You? You're not a man, you're a tailor. 
 
 You are the ninth part of a man. Go into your 
 
 shop and sit cross-legged and sew up your mouth 
 
 so your brains won't fall out. 
 Jacob. I'll show you that I am man enough to wallop 
 
 you! 
 
 (They box and strike wildly at each other without 
 hitting. ) 
 
 Widow. I'll be the referee! Oh! Ain't it fine — to 
 have two men fighting over you? {They follow 
 each other around with blows that do not reach — 
 uppercuts and grotesque blows ad lib., saying, 
 " How do you like that onef " '' How does that 
 feelf " " Got enough? " etc, etc. Finally Widow 
 interferes.) That's enough. Now before any- 
 body gets hurt come into the drug store and we'll 
 all have a nice glass of soda water. 
 
 Jenks {aside). I'll put a dose of castor oil in his. 
 (Widow extends an arm to each. They go up 
 toward store with Widow between them, each try- 
 ing to outdo the other in attentions and politeness 
 and yet showing jealousy. Enter Philip up r., 
 as though looking for something. Jenks, to 
 Widow.) One moment. {To Philip.) Lost 
 something ? 
 
 Philip {scowling). No. 
 
 Jenks {turning away with a grin). Oh, excuse me! 
 {To Widow.) After you! {Bows.) 
 
 {Exeunt Widow, Jacob, Jenks, into store l.) 
 
 Philip {crossing down l.). I believe that scoundrel 
 knows something about those papers. If he's 
 
 23 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 tricking me let him beware. {Enter Mabel up R. 
 She carries hand-hag.) Ah, Miss Sanders. 
 (Bows to her.) Excuse my excited appearance 
 but I have lost valuable papers. Both your 
 father and I vi^ill suffer from this loss, should they 
 fall in the hands of spies. 
 
 Mabel (coming down r.). I am sorry to hear of 
 your loss. 
 
 Philip (follozving her down r.). Perhaps I dropped 
 them here and you picked them up. 
 
 Mabel. I assure you that I did not see them. 
 
 Philip. Why, you v^ere here when I received them. 
 I saw you here only a few minutes ago — and dis- 
 covered my loss just afterward. Are you telling 
 me the truth? 
 
 Mabel (coldly). Mr. Barclay, how dare you ques- 
 tion me in this manner? Never dare to address 
 me again ! 
 
 Philip. . I left you here with Lee. Perhaps you are 
 shielding him. Those papers I must and shall 
 have. Are they in that hand-bag? 
 
 (Philip seizes the hand-hag to take it.) 
 
 Mabel (struggling). Release my hand-bag at once. 
 Philip. Open it and let me search it, or I'll never 
 let you go. 
 
 (Enter Samuel Lee up l. He runs down r. c, seises 
 Philip and flings him over to L. c.) 
 
 Lee. You'll let her go now ! (Philip makes a move- 
 ment as if to draw a weapon.) Take your hand 
 away from your hip pocket or I'll drop you. 
 
 Philip. You can't bluff me. You have no pistol. 
 
 Lee. No, I don't need one for you. I have nature's 
 weapon. (Puts fist under Philip's nose.) I 
 never miss with it. And when I fight I fight a 
 man! I never fight a w^oman! 
 
 Philip. Are you aware that I am your superior? — 
 that I can have you thrown out of the factory 
 neck and heels? 
 
 24 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Lee. I dislike to think the cowardly insulter of a lady 
 
 can ever be my equal, let alone my superior. 
 Philip. I represent the United States government. 
 Lee. And I represent American manhood. God 
 
 help the United States if they have to depend upon 
 
 men like you. 
 Philip. I'll show you before the day is over what 
 
 it means to insult me. 
 
 (Enter Jenks, Jacob and Widov^ from drug store, 
 up L. They come down c. Simpson, Parson 
 and Louella enter l. They come down l.) 
 
 Jenks. That's right. Stand up to him, Mr. Lee. 
 That's a little straight talk for Mr. Philip Barclay, 
 alias Ludwig Rhinehart. 
 
 {Enter Glitter, r. He sneaks down l. c. to Philip 
 and motions him to he cautious.) 
 
 Lee. Mr. Barclay is searching for spies, and he has 
 
 lost valuable documents. 
 Philip. And you have lost your position in the 
 
 factory. You are discharged. 
 Mabel. Not so fast. My father still owns most of 
 
 the stock in that factory, and I'm going to tell 
 
 him a few things. Mr. Lee is not discharged, 
 
 and you cannot discharge him. 
 Lee. I don't care for the position — I have a better 
 
 one waiting for me. I'm going to enlist to fight 
 
 for my country and Uncle Sam. 
 Mabel. Oh, so you have decided ^ 
 Lee. Yes. My mind is made up. I shall sign the 
 
 papers to-day. 
 Mabel. And you'll be going away ? 
 Lee. Yes. You wouldn't keep me from going? 
 Mabel {enthusiastically). No! You are doing what 
 
 every American should do if he is able to carry a 
 
 gun. Go. Don*t be a slacker. Go and fight for 
 
 the old Stars and Stripes. 
 Lee {to Philip). You hear that? 
 
 25 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Philip. Yes. I have applied for a commission my- 
 self. 
 
 Jenks. Commission! You ought to be tarred and 
 feathered, you miserable snake! Here, Sam. 
 Here are the papers he is looking for! {Gives 
 papers to Lee. Philip and Glitter are dumb- 
 founded.) They sneered at the flag. Bring it 
 here. 
 
 (Felix brings out a flag l. and gives it to Lee. Philip 
 and Glitter are pushed up c. Citizens may 
 enter here, if desired, to make a crowd at climax. ) 
 
 Lee. Now, then. Take your hats off to this flag. 
 (Philip and Glitter hesitate but Lee threatens.) 
 Hats off, I say! {They remove hats.) Now to 
 prove that you are not German spies or traitors, 
 kneel — and kiss that flag ! 
 
 {The two villains hesitate. Jenks kicks Glitter.) 
 
 Jenks. Do as Mr. Lee orders you. 
 Simpson. Do it, or I'll separate you from your ex- 
 istence. 
 
 (Lee hands the flag to Mabel.) 
 
 Lee. Now kneel and kiss the flag that you have in- 
 sulted. 
 
 {Bus. The two spies kneel and kiss the flag as all 
 cheer ad lib., and sing part of " The Star Spangled 
 Banner,'* some jeering at the spies.) 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
ACT II 
 
 SCENE. — A room in a semi-ruined chateau, near 
 the American lines in France. The place is used as 
 an emergency hospital. At back a large open 
 window or a ragged hole in wall supposed to have 
 been made by shell fire. Broken furniture. Piles 
 of boxes. Several barrels under window. Door 
 R. Exit L., concealed by boxes. 
 
 {Music at rise of curtain. Bugle call heard faintly. 
 A squad of American soldiers are passing out at 
 door R. Samuel Lee, in uniform of a sergeant^ 
 discovered on box up l. His head is bandaged, 
 Jenks, in uniform of a private of the Medical 
 Corps, is tightening the bandage.) 
 
 Jenks. There, Sam! You're all right, my boy, and 
 you're all patched up. You certainly deserve 
 your promotion. 
 
 Lee. Oh, nonsense! They were all in it. 
 
 Jenks. Yes, but you were the boy who led the squad, 
 and wouldn't give in till they bombed or bayoneted 
 the last Hun of the bunch and cleared the hill. 
 We saw you. I wished I was in it. Why, making 
 you sergeant was the least they could do. You 
 ought to have the Distinguished Service medal. 
 
 Lee. Well, you're a good friend, Jenks. I appreciate 
 it, all right. I'm glad we licked them. They had 
 a machine gun to every yard, but we drove them 
 back, eh, old boy, and gave them a taste of Amer- 
 ican bullets and cold steel ! 
 
 Jenks. You bet you did; and they'll never forget 
 the Yankee boys they appeared to despise and 
 defy. 
 
 Lee. I dare say I ought to be thankful that I came 
 out of it alive. But, Jenks, I don't care. I have 
 nothing to live for. 
 
 27 
 
WITH TEE STAES AND STBIPES IN FETNOE 
 
 Jenks. Nonsense. You've got a lot of fun coming to 
 you yet. What's the matter ? A girl ? 
 
 Lee. You've guessed it. 
 
 Jenks. Yes, and I can guess her name, too. 
 
 Lee. Perhaps. Keep it to yourself. If you know 
 the girl you know why I can't many her. 
 
 Jenks. I don't know anything of the kind. If you 
 mean her father's a rich man 
 
 Lee. That's what I mean. And I was his employee. 
 
 Jenks. Well, he worked up from a shirt-sleeve job 
 himself. 
 
 Lee. His daughter never did. She's always known 
 luxury. 
 
 Jenks. If she knows a good thing when she sees it 
 she'll take you. Did you ever tell her ? 
 
 Lee. No. I knew it was no use. I thought at one 
 time she loved me, but she never gave a sign when 
 I came away. Women are all fickle, Johnson. 
 
 Jenks. All but widows! They've been taught a 
 lesson in losing a husband, and they're anxious 
 to get another one, and that's why they are true 
 to you, until they get you. Then good-night 
 " Liberty."^ 
 
 Lee (^^7/ musing). Never a line or word from 
 Mabel! Not a message to encourage me or bid 
 me hope. 
 
 Jenks. Oh! Don't let that worry you. Wait until 
 you go back to the States as a major, a colonel or 
 a general, all covered with gold lace. They'll all 
 fall for you. You can have your pick of them. 
 You won't know what to do to shake them off. 
 
 Lee. That's all right, Jenks, but I thought she would 
 at least write an encouraging letter as a matter 
 of courtesy. Most of the boys hear from home 
 or their sweethearts; they get some little token. 
 But I — well, it serves me right — a mere mechanic 
 daring to love a millionaire's daughter. 
 
 Jenks. Forget it ! There isn't a millionaire's daugh- 
 ter living who is too good for one of Uncle Sam's 
 soldiers. 
 
 Lee. We'll have a new set o£ officers now. Lieu- 
 
 28 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 tenant Henderson is near going West, they tell 
 me, and he's the last of the lot. 
 Jenks. You'll probably be doubled up with what's 
 left of B Company. But come ! I want to have 
 the surgeon look you over. Stop worrying and 
 get the girls out of your mind. First thing I 
 know you'll be clear dippy. Come on now. Easy 
 does it. 
 
 {Lifts Lee gently, and leads him off l.) 
 
 (Jacob is led in r., half supported by Felix — both in 
 uniform. Jacob groans, limps 'and at times yells 
 with seeming pain. Lays Jacob on floor up c. ) 
 
 Jacob. Oh — oh! Easy! Don't hurry me. Oh! I 
 
 guess my leg is shot off, or my arm is amputated 
 
 or something. On ! but I'm badly wounded, boy. 
 
 No more fighting for old Jacob. I'm a busted 
 
 tomato. Oh ! 
 Felix. Oh, cheer up ! The doctors will get hold of 
 
 you and sew a new leg or an arm or two on you. 
 
 They're cuttin' off lots of good arms and legs that 
 
 will fit you. 
 
 (Enter Jenks, l.) 
 
 Jenks. What's the matter? This isn't the hospital! 
 
 Next house — half a mile from here. 
 Jacob. Oh ! I'll die before I can get there. 
 Jenks. Oh, ho! It's you, is it? Jacob Stitch — and 
 
 wounded ! 
 Jacob. There's about half of me left. 
 Jenks. Well, well, too bad. Shall I write the widow 
 
 about it? 
 Jacob (fiercely, trying to rise). Never mind. I'll 
 
 write her about it myself. 
 Jenks. Well, she'll be glad to hear it — I mean, glad 
 
 to hear from you. What's the matter ? 
 Jacob. Oh ! I'm going to be sent home to be re- 
 paired. Sewed up, stitched, pressed and ironed 
 
 out, basted and hemmed all over. 
 Jenks. Where are you wounded? 
 
 29 
 
WITH TEE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Jacob. All over. I'll give you a quarter for any 
 place you find as big as my hand that ain't got a 
 hole in it. My head is shot olf and my legs are 
 all tied in bow-knots. 
 
 Jenks {prodding him). Hurt there? 
 
 Jacob. Ouch! You bet. 
 
 Jenks {prodding). There? 
 
 Jacob {yells). That's the worst of all. 
 
 Jenks. Ah, I see. A very serious case. It's lucky 
 for you I'm a surgeon. 
 
 Jacob {yells). Surgeon! You? 
 
 Jenks. Sure. I'm going to operate on you at once. 
 
 Jacob. Never. {Yells.) Murder! 
 
 Jenks. Quiet, quiet. (Felix pushes Jacob down on 
 table.) Just wait till I call my assistant. {Goes 
 L. and calls.) Surgeon! Surgeon! 
 
 {Enter Simpson Crabface, l.) 
 
 Simpson. Here's the sturgeon. Right on the job. 
 Where's the patient? 
 
 Jenks. Right here. {Goes r.) He's badly wounded. 
 
 Simpson {following r.). Well, if it ain't Jacob 
 Stitch, that had a tailor shop opposite my ton- 
 sorial emporium. Welcome to the dismembering 
 depot. 
 
 Jenks. We've got to doctor him up. Get your sur- 
 gical instruments. 
 
 Simpson. With the greatest of elasticity and com- 
 prehensive deuteronomy. 
 
 {Exit, L.) 
 
 Jenks. Place him on the table. 
 
 (Jacob objects, but Felix and Jenks seise him and 
 place him on table, r., Jacob groaning, yelling, 
 and resisting ad lib. Simpson enters l. with a lot 
 of tools, such as old saw, auger, hammer, chisel, 
 bits of old iron to make a clatter and any tools 
 available for this business.) 
 
 Simpson. Here you are! 
 
 30 
 
WITS THE STABS AND STEIPE8 IN FRANCE 
 
 {Throws tools on the floor , making a clatter. Jacob 
 starts up and seeing the tools he attempts to 
 escape, hut is held in place by Felix and Jenks.) 
 
 Jenks. Now which leg shall we chop off first? 
 Simpson. Doctor, I think I would cut him in half 
 
 first and see if his heart has been punctured. 
 Jenks. No remarks! As the surgeon I will do the 
 
 slicing and the amputating. 
 Simpson. I would advise taking out his brains and 
 
 scalding them with hot vinegar. 
 Jenks. You are too radical. That's the homeopathic 
 
 treatment. I am for gentle measures. I will 
 
 merely remove his lungs and his liver, and 
 
 (Jacob tries to escape hut is held in place.) 
 
 Felix. How would it do to drive nails in his kidneys ? 
 
 Jenks. No, sir. Very old-fashioned practice. Nails 
 would only give him more iron in his blood. 
 What he needs now is a new set of ribs and a 
 compound fracture of the sarcophagus. (Jacob 
 tries to escape.) Get ready now. We'll put him 
 out of his misery. 
 
 (While thus talking they have been picking up and 
 showing tools, to Jacob's dismay. They 'now 
 seize Jacob and pound him with their hands ad 
 lih.) 
 
 Simpson. Does this hurt you? 
 
 Felix. Do you feel this? 
 
 Jenks. Where does it hurt you now? 
 
 Jacob. Let me off this table. I'm not wounded at 
 all. I was only shamming. 
 
 Jenks. Oh, ho! skulking from the battle line, eh? 
 That's what I thought. You'll be shot as a de- 
 serter. Fall in! {They compel Jacob to fall 
 in line. Then each takes a tool as if a weapon 
 and all three imitate drums and sing the "Dead 
 March " as they are going out in single file, toward 
 L., with Jacob as a prisoner in the line; Simpson 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 prods him with the saw. Jenks, aside.) He'll 
 steal the widow from me, will he? 
 
 {They all march out l.) 
 
 {Enter Philip, r., in uniform of American captain, 
 followed by Glitter, uniformed as a sergeant. 
 Glitter looks about cautiously.) 
 
 Philip. That's all right ! Our uniform protects us, 
 and my rank places me in command and above 
 suspicion. 
 
 Glitter. Everything seems to play into our hands. 
 All the company officers killed or wounded and 
 you as the ranking officer in this part of the field, 
 to do as you like. 
 
 Philip. The game is nearly over. Our friends are 
 very near. {Points off r.) They are only await- 
 ing the word from me. 
 
 Glitter. How will you signal them? 
 
 Philip {draws electric flash-light from pocket, and 
 flashes it once or twice). With this. {Puts light 
 in pocket. ) The time is nearly ripe. 
 
 Glitter. I hope so. {Nervously.) I have a feeling 
 we are watched all the time. Why not try to 
 cross the lines now — at once, and carry our mes- 
 sage that way? 
 
 Philip. What — and be captured ? Not on your life ! 
 We are of more use to the Kaiser right here. No, 
 I shall see this through as agreed, and signal when 
 the right time comes for the attack. 
 
 Glitter. All right. Here are the latest dispatches 
 and some drawings which I made of the new 
 trenches. {Gives papers to Philip.) But I 
 admit I'm nervous. Lucky we haven't any old 
 friends in the States to make trouble for us. 
 
 Philip {snapping his fingers). I don't bother my 
 head about them. Now don't be seen too fre- 
 quently conversing with me. As soon as it grows 
 dark I will signal from that window. Go ! 
 
 {Goes up c. to window. Bus. Glitter goes to door 
 
 32 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 L. just as Jenks is entering it. They meet face to 
 face. Jenks puzzled. Glitter turns and strolls 
 
 R.) 
 
 Jenks. Stop! Haven't I seen your face before? 
 Glitter {turning). That's how I generally wear it! 
 
 {Laughs and exits door r.) 
 
 (Jenks goes to door r., looks after him and imitates 
 his laugh.) 
 
 Jenks {calling after Glitter). That's how you gen- 
 erally wear it, hey? Well, if I'm not mistaken, 
 somebody will take it off for you soon and screw 
 it on upside down, {He is crossing again to l. 
 when he sees Philip, stops, and goes up r. c.) 
 Hello! I think I know you, too. 
 
 Philip. Salute! Don't you know enough to salute 
 an officer? 
 
 (Jenks comes to attention, and is about to salute, hut 
 suddenly drops his hand and laughs.) 
 
 Jenks. I'll be darned if I do. In the medical corps 
 we salute only real officers and gentlemen. 
 
 Philip {approaching him). What! What's that? 
 Salute at once! 
 
 Jenks. No ! 
 
 Philip {threateningly). You scoundrel, I'll 
 
 {Pauses.) Oh, ho! I believe we have met be- 
 fore. 
 
 Jenks (l. c). Oh, remember me now, do you? Yes, 
 we have met all right — over in the States. And 
 perhaps you remember an ammunition plant that 
 came near being blown up by spies and other 
 vermin. And you may recall a certain pair of 
 dirty Huns who were forced to kiss the American 
 flag. Remember that ? 
 
 Philip (c). Keep a civil tongue in your head and 
 remember where you are. 
 
 Jenks {crossing r,). I'll never forget it, and don't 
 
 33 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 you forget that a uniform doesn't always hide a 
 crook or a traitor. 
 
 Philip. I'll see your commander about this. You 
 will hear from me, depend upon it. 
 
 Jenks. Send it special delivery and registered so I 
 won't miss it. (Philip utters an exclamation of 
 anger and exits R. Jenks follows to door r. and 
 laughs.) He seems to be real peeved. Well, it 
 was quite a surprise, but we've learned to expect 
 surprises in this war. 
 
 (Widow appears at door L. Seeing Jenks she utters 
 a cry of surprise.) 
 
 Widow. Jenks! Johnson Jenks! Found at last! 
 Jenks. Another surprise party, and I may say — a 
 large surprise party. 
 
 {Before he is aware of it, the Widow has rushed across 
 R. and embraced him with delight. She pulls 
 him down c.) 
 
 Widow. I've been searching over half of France to 
 find you, and at last we meet. Oh ! Johnson, this 
 is Heaven! 
 
 Jenks. If this is Heaven you must be a little fat 
 angel ! Tell me, Birdie, where did you flit from ? 
 
 Widow. After all the men enlisted and went away 
 I was very lonesome. Nobody left in town but a 
 lot of bald-headed, toothless, spavined and rheu- 
 matic old men. I couldn't see it being a nurse for 
 a lot of superannuated stay-at-home invalids. So 
 I volunteered to come over here in the Emergency 
 Reconstruction Service, to look after little or- 
 phans, the sick and destitute victims of the war. 
 
 Jenks. Fine ! Fine ! I admire your benevolence and 
 courage. 
 
 WIDow^ I've got courage all right. If that's all 
 that's necessary I won't be a widow very long. 
 It's mighty lonesome business having no one to 
 cuddle up to or to talk to, or to lecture when it's 
 deserved. Jenks! I never knew how much I 
 
 34 
 
WITS THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 thought of you until you left your drug store 
 and came over here. 
 
 Jenks (r. c). What about Stitch the tailor? 
 
 Widow (c). He's not in it. (Jacob is just coming 
 on L., when he stands and overhears the conversa- 
 tion.) A tailor, a man that sits cross-legged and 
 sews all day ? I took his measure and ripped his 
 suit for him. 
 
 Jacob. I wonder if she means me? 
 
 Jenks. Then you don't care for the tailor? 
 
 Widow. What! I wouldn't wipe my feet on him. 
 Just think of a husband who in his sleep would 
 dream that he's running a hot iron up and down 
 your back or is sewing on buttons all over you! 
 Not much. He is just fit to be a monkey-— that's 
 all. 
 
 Jacob {half crying). I hope the next battle I go into 
 I'll get shot to pieces. (Jacob disappears l.) 
 
 Widow. Have you seen any of our old friends since 
 you have been over here? 
 
 Jenks. Yes, our old friend Samuel Lee was wounded 
 yesterday and promoted. 
 
 Widow. Samuel Lee, who had the impudence to try 
 to win old Sanders' daughter? 
 
 Jenks. The very same young man. She'd be lucky 
 if she got him. 
 
 Widow. Well — there'll be a surprise for him, I guess. 
 Mabel Sanders came over on the boat with me. 
 She's a Red Cross nurse, and I heard she had 
 been sent to a hospital near this part of the line. 
 I'd like to see the look of surprise on Mr. Lee's 
 face when he sees her. It will be as good as one 
 of the moving picture dramas. 
 
 Jenks. It might cheer the poor fellow up. 
 
 {Enter Simpson Crabface, l.) 
 
 Simpson. Well, look who's here! The whole 
 United States is moving over to France. 
 
 Widow. Well, the colored barber, I declare ! 
 
 Simpson. Not a tonsorial artist any longer, but a son 
 of Esculapius. Got you there. You don't know 
 
 35 
 
WITM TME STAM8 AND &TRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 who that is? No? Esculapius is the gent who 
 invented porous plasters. 
 
 (LouELLA, in a half nurse, half military costume, 
 enters door l.) 
 
 LouELLA. For the land sake! Simpson Crabface or 
 I'm a Dutch sardine! Let me just grab you by 
 the wool to say welcome home ! 
 
 Simpson. Now I just said the whole United States 
 is here. Ain't it the truth? What you doin' 
 here, woman? 
 
 LouELLA {following Simpson as he tries to avoid her). 
 Don't you try to run away from me, nigger, for 
 it will be all the worse for you ! You thought to 
 escape the breach of promise and run away in the 
 army, eh? Look at me, you dried up, bank- 
 rupt nigger. I'm a black cross nurse. 
 
 Simpson {down c). 'Deed, I'm glad to see you, 
 Louella. 
 
 LouELLA {down L.). You don't say it as if it came 
 from the heart. Come close, and utter them ex- 
 clamations again. {He comes to her and she 
 throws her arms around him ad lib.) Mine to 
 have and to hold. To kill or preserve alive. 
 Nigger, you're in the army now, but Uncle Sam 
 can't divorce you from your promised bride. I'm 
 a war bride, sure enough, and you're my prisoner. 
 
 Simpson. Don't squeeze me so tight. I ain't going 
 to run away. I'm as glad to see you as though I 
 had the appendicitis. 
 
 LouELLA. Take me where they are serving out the 
 rations. I haven't eaten anything since day be- 
 fore yesterday, and I'm starved out. 
 
 Simpson. Then come with me and devour some nice 
 hardtack and a chunk of railroad track. I'll give 
 you some of these here iron rations you been 
 hearing about. 
 
 Widow. That reminds me that I'm a little bit hungry 
 myself. I've heard of people living on love, but, 
 a few provisions always help it along. 
 
 36 
 
WITS THE STABS AND STBIPES IN FBANCE 
 
 LouELLA. Come along. When food is ready don't 
 be a slacker. 
 
 (Exeunt Simpson, Louella and Widow, l.) 
 
 (Music. Enter Mabel, r., as a Red Cross nurse.) 
 
 Jenks. Oh, Miss Sanders, I just heard you were 
 here. Welcome, doubly welcome, to this magnifi- 
 cent chateau — what is left of it. 
 
 Mabel. Hello, Mr. Jenks. (Looks about.) No, not 
 much of a house, is it? The shelling has almost 
 destroyed it. 
 
 Jenks. Oh, well ! We can put it to some use. Do 
 you know, this is a romantic old building. I dare 
 say it saw some stirring incidents in the old days. 
 
 (Walks L. as though examining walls.) 
 
 Mabel. The Huns do not spare even sacred edifices. 
 (Looks around.) Have you examined the build- 
 ing? 
 
 Jenks (l. c, turning to her). Yes, and I have made 
 a discovery in this old chateau. I don't know all 
 about it yet. (Takes her hand mysteriously.) I 
 have discovered a secret underground passage ! I 
 don't know exactly where it leads — but leave it to 
 Jenks to find out ! 
 
 Mabel (c). Perhaps it may lead back to the river 
 bank just behind us. 
 
 Jenks. Maybe ! Maybe ! The entrance is almost 
 covered up by broken timber and stones. 
 
 Mabel. Do not speak of it to any one. Let it re- 
 main a secret for the present. We may be able 
 to explore it some day. 
 
 Jenks. There was lots of fighting around here, and 
 some of our brave boys were badly hurt. 
 
 Mabel. Yes, the work in the clearing station has 
 been terrific. I haven't had my clothes oft' for 
 three days. The doctor made me stop work and 
 rest for a few hours, but I can't sleep. 
 
 37 
 
WITH THE STARS AND STRIFES IN FRANCE 
 
 Jenks. One of our old friends was severely 
 wounded — Samuel Lee. You remember him. 
 
 (Mabel shows painful surprise.) 
 
 Mabel. Mr. Lee! Wounded? Tell me, is he in 
 danger ? 
 
 Jenks, Well, I think he will pull through. A ma- 
 chine gun bullet ploughed across his scalp. 
 (Points to his head.) Pretty narrow shave. 
 
 Mabel (anxiously.) Did he have proper medical at- 
 tention ? 
 
 Jenks. Oh, yes; but there comes the young man! 
 You may ask him all about it. 
 
 (Music. Samuel Lee, with head bandaged, feeble 
 and almost tottering, enters l., leaning on his 
 rifle. Jenks retires slightly up l. Mabel and 
 Lee see each other.) 
 
 Lee. Mabel! — Miss Sanders. (Goes l. c. to her.) 
 
 Mabel. Oh, you are wounded ! 
 
 Lee. Yes. ( Touches his head. ) They got me, here. 
 Pity they didn't take my head off entirely. 
 
 Mabel. Oh, no ! You don't mean that. 
 
 Lee. I do, pretty nearly. 
 
 Mabel. It sounds ungrateful. 
 
 Lee. To whom? 
 
 Mabel. To an all- wise Providence that spared you 
 when so many brave fellows were taken. 
 
 Lee. Yes, — spared! Spared to see you again. Miss 
 Sanders. You once advised me to go with the 
 boys that left to fight the savage Huns 
 
 Mabel. Yes, because I thought it was the duty of 
 every American to go with his flag to fight for 
 the liberty of the world. To defeat the monster 
 who would enslave every nation and trample out 
 freedom, and to show the world what America 
 could do in a just cause. 
 
 Jenks (coming down l.). Spoken like a real Ameri- 
 can girl. (Applauds.) If we had an army of 
 girls like that we could whip the Kaiser and 
 
 38 
 
WITR THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 twenty million savages. But it strikes me that 
 two is company and three is a crowd, so I'm 
 excused! I'm going out on a furlough. 
 
 {Exit, L.) 
 
 Mabel {to Lee). Is your wound painful? 
 
 Lee {smiling). Seeing you makes it better. I did 
 
 not expect to see you as a Red Cross nurse in 
 
 France. 
 Mabel. I thought it my duty to come here. My 
 
 father gave his consent freely. I have been in 
 
 France for three months, but I came here only 
 
 this week. 
 Lee. And you have come like an angel to this place. 
 
 Words fail me to speak the joy I feel. Had you 
 
 no other motive in coming over to France? 
 Mabel {hesitating). Well — to be of service to the 
 
 poor wounded soldiers. 
 
 (Lee shows disappointment. At this moment Philip 
 returns R. In an instant he recognizes both Mabel 
 and Lee. He starts with surprise and can 
 scarcely control himself. He advances down r.) 
 
 Philip. Miss Sanders ! Why, this is a genuine sur- 
 prise. And here is my dear friend, Samuel Lee — 
 wounded ! 
 
 Mabel (c). Mr. Barclay — Captain, I should say. 
 Yes, he has been severely wounded. 
 
 Philip. But he will receive gentle treatment from 
 the pretty Red Cross nurses. I envy the wounded 
 soldier — indeed I do. 
 
 Lee. So this is Philip Barclay, and an officer in our 
 army? 
 
 Pi-iiLiP. Yes. I have not forgotten the humiliation 
 I suffered at your hands — jeered at, and forced to 
 kiss the flag. Things are different now, quite 
 different, I assure you. If you are well enough 
 to idle your time away here, you are well enough 
 to resume your duty. 
 
 Mabel. But he is severely wounded. 
 
 39 
 
wite: the staes and^stetpes in feance 
 
 Philip. That is for a surgeon to say. I order you 
 
 to your duty at once. 
 Mabel. And -my duty as a nurse is to remain at 
 
 his side. 
 Philip. Do you dare question my authority? 
 Mabel {simply). I am responsible to the surgeon 
 
 general only. 
 Philip. I will be obeyed. 
 
 {Makes a move toward Mabel.) 
 
 Lee. Stop! {Raises musket.) Put but a single 
 finger on that lady and I'll blow your head off. 
 
 Philip. Do you dare threaten an officer? 
 
 Lee. I don't care who and what you are! If I die 
 for it I will not permit you to insult her again. 
 
 (Philip produces a pistol. Mabel steps before Lee, 
 takes from her bosom a small flag handkerchief 
 and holds it up.) 
 
 Mabel. Fire on this flag if you dare ! This flag pro- 
 tects every lad in the army ! This is Uncle Sam's 
 banner and it is enough to shield a wounded man 
 from a designing villain! 
 
 Philip. Do you dare accuse me? 
 
 Mabel. Yes, I have never entirely lost sight of you, 
 Philip Barclay. There are those who have 
 watched your actions. The moment you dare 
 persecute this man without just cause, that mo- 
 ment will I denounce you for what you are ! 
 
 Philip (r. c, sneeringly). What do you know about 
 me? 
 
 Mabel (c). More than you think I do. Your uni- 
 form or rank won't save you when I speak the 
 word. 
 
 Lee (l. c). Miss Sanders, please do not permit 
 yourself to be annoyed by this man. Leave him 
 to me. His rank cannot protect him. 
 
 Mabel. You are agitated. Come, I will attend to 
 your wounded head. {To Philip.) I leave you 
 to your conscience. Make no mistake. I know! 
 
 40 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 {Exit Mabel with Lee, l., Mabel glancing back 
 meaningly at Philip, who is livid with passion.) 
 
 Philip. What does she know, I wonder? Bah! 
 (Gesture of impatience.) What do I care? But 
 I must act quickly now. (Looks out doors and 
 windozv.) No one about. They are waiting be- 
 yond there for my signal! (Philip mounts a 
 box or barrel and stands at the window. He 
 first looks around carefidly, then produces the 
 flash-light which he flashes through the large 
 aperture or broken window. The stage is dark 
 . enough by this time for these signals. He makes 
 circles, crosses and many complicated signs with 
 his flash-light. While he is thus busy Jenks and 
 Felix, l., appear at door, carrying lanterns and 
 observe him. After more flashes Philip turns 
 and sees them. He is disconcerted for a few 
 moments.) Well, what do you want? 
 
 (Steps down from window and comes down c.) 
 
 Jfnks. Don't want anything. How long is it since 
 you've been in the signal corps? What are you 
 signaling about, anyway? 
 
 Philip. I am an officer. I am minding my own 
 business. You would do well to mind yours. 
 
 (Goes R.) 
 
 Jenks. I always mind my own business when every- 
 thing is on the level. 
 
 Philip. What do you mean to insinuate? 
 
 Jenks (crossing r.). The Germans can see those 
 signals if they are intended for them. 
 
 Philip. I have a right to signal to my own advance 
 patrols. 
 
 Jenks. Maybe. But to say the least, your actions 
 are very suspicious. 
 
 Philip. I ought to stretch you dead at my feet. 
 
 (He whips out two pistols. But Jenks produces tzvo 
 revolvers and Felix shozvs one.) 
 
 41 
 
WITS THE 8TAES AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Felix. Come right up against itl Three of a kind 
 
 beats one pair, always ! 
 Philip. I will summon the guard and have you both 
 
 put in irons. I beUeve you are spies. 
 Jenks. Not when you are around. We don't intend 
 
 to be in your class. You've got a monopoly on 
 
 that business. 
 
 {Exit Philip, r., with great show of anger.) 
 
 Felix. Lay low for ducks ; something is in the wind. 
 
 (Jenks is about to follow through door r. hut sud- 
 denly springs back.) 
 
 Jenks. Ha — there's the other one! Quick! They 
 are coming back. Come into this camouflaged 
 observatory. 
 
 (They go behind the boxes and barrels up l. and 
 conceal themselves. ) 
 
 {Enter, R., Philip and Glitter. They look all around 
 to discover any observers or listeners.) 
 
 Philip (c). They are gone. That blockhead of a 
 druggist caught me making signals at that win- 
 dow. 
 
 Glitter (l. c). That's all right. If the signals 
 were not seen we can still reach the German lines. 
 
 Philip. That young fellow Samuel Lee is here and 
 so is the girl Mabel Sanders who rebuffed and 
 insulted me before everybody. 
 
 Glitter. Let's pay them all back at one stroke. 
 
 Philip. We will. Place these papers in Lee's 
 pockets if you can. Then we will accuse him 
 and have him searched. Denounce him as a spy 
 and I'll call in a shooting squad and put an end 
 to him. 
 
 Glitter. Good ! I'll attend to him at once. 
 
 {Shows papers and exit l.) 
 
 Philip. ^ Now, Mr. Lee, I think I've got you fixed for 
 a swift journey into eternity. 
 42 
 
WITS THE STABS AND STRIFES IN FRANCE 
 
 (Goes to windozv and makes a few more signals, 
 pausing now and then as though for reply. Jenks 
 and Felix observe him from their hiding-place. 
 £nfer Glitter, l.) 
 
 Glitter (softly). Captain! (Philip comes down 
 c.) Do they answer? 
 
 Philip. Yes. They understand and are waiting for 
 you at the usual place. (Jenks and Felix evi- 
 dently hear this.) Did you find Lee? 
 
 Glitter. Yes. It's all right. It couldn't work more 
 smoothly. I had a great chance and slipped the 
 papers into his coat pocket while the nurse was 
 attending to his wounded head. 
 
 Philip. Good! Fine! Now speed away with these 
 dispatches. The German commander must have 
 them at once. Don't lose a moment. Point out 
 the weak places in the line. They must attack 
 to-night. I'll attend to the rest. (Gives papers.) 
 Don't be caught with these. Use my pass and be 
 watchful. 
 
 Glitter. Trust me for throwing anybody off my 
 track. 
 
 (Exit, R. Philip goes to window at back, then Jenks 
 and Felix rise and sneak r. Jenks shakes fist 
 unseen at Philip's back. Exeunt, r.) 
 
 Philip (up c). Now I feel that I am on the road 
 to a general victory over all my enemies. I hope 
 my signals have been seen and understood, but 
 Glitter will make sure of the message. 
 
 (Enter, l., Lieutenant, armed, followed by a squad 
 of soldiers with rifles. All salute Philip> who 
 returns salutes.) 
 
 Lieutenant. Captain ! Signals have been seen from 
 
 this place — intended apparently for the enemy. 
 
 We came here to find the spy or persons doing this. 
 
 Have you seen any one here? 
 Philip. Yes. I saw some of the signals myself and 
 
 hurried here to investigate. I traced them to that 
 
 43 
 
WIT3 THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 window and saw one of our men in the act of 
 using a flash-light. I am sorry that any man in 
 our uniform would betray his comrades thus. 
 
 Lieutenant. Where is the man? 
 
 Philip. In the adjoining building. {Points l.) He 
 pretended to be wounded in the head to avoid 
 suspicion. His name is Lee — Sergeant Samuel 
 Lee. 
 
 Lieutenant {surprised). Sergeant Lee? 
 
 Philip. Yes. Find him and bring him here. If he 
 is guilty he will be executed at once as a lesson 
 to others. 
 
 Lieutenant. Very well, sir! 
 
 {They salute and all exeunt l. at word of command.) 
 
 Philip. Now, Mr. Sergeant Lee, I've got you in a 
 box {laughs) and I think you'll get out of that 
 box only to find yourself in another, about six 
 feet by two. And then good-night to you. 
 
 (Lieutenant and soldiers bring in Lee from l., as a 
 prisoner. Mabel and Widow follow. ) 
 
 Lieutenant. Sir, here is the prisoner. 
 Philip. Let him be searched. 
 
 {They search Lee and find some folded documents.) 
 
 Lieutenant {bus.). Here are outlines of our ad- 
 vanced trenches, sir, and locations of our heavy 
 artillery — also information of the numbers of our 
 reserves. 
 
 {Hands papers to Philip, who opens and examines 
 them. ) 
 
 Philip. I thought so. That accounts for his signals 
 at that window. 
 
 Mabel. Do you mean to accuse Samuel Lee — as a 
 spy? 
 
 Philip. Yes, these papers are proof enough. 
 
 Lee. Miss Sanders, and comrades — I deny the ac- 
 cusation. I never saw those papers nor made any 
 
 44 
 
WITM TH^ STABS AND STRIPES W FRANCSl 
 
 signals at that window. I have been in the hos- 
 pital yonder. {Points L.) 
 
 Philip {to Mabel). Have you been with him all 
 the time, during the past half hour? 
 
 Mabel. Yes — all but a very few minutes. 
 
 Philip {coldly). Ah, yes. {To Lieutenant.) A 
 great deal of dangerous signaling can be done in 
 a very few minutes. 
 
 {He emphasises the last words, with a hostile look at 
 Lee.) 
 
 Lee. I did not leave the hospital for a single moment. 
 
 Philip. So you say. 
 
 Mabel. I believe you, trust you, no matter what a 
 contemptible villain may say or do against you. 
 I believe you are innocent. 
 
 Lee. Thank you. That means a lot to me. Don't 
 be frightened. I have done nothing wrong, and 
 therefore they can prove nothing against me. 
 
 Philip. Soldiers, your lives have been endangered 
 by this spy. Take him into the room, search him 
 carefully and you may find additional proof. You 
 know the fate of a spy on the battle-field or camp 
 in time of war. 
 
 Lieutenant. Death ! 
 
 ( Gives military commands and soldiers take Lee out l. 
 All leave hut Mabel and Philip. He goes r. 
 She follows.) 
 
 Mabel. So you intend to have him shot as a spy? 
 
 Philip. Yes, I have waited for this chance. A kind 
 turn has furnished it. He dies. {Goes to r. c.) 
 
 Mabel (r.). Is there no way to save him from this 
 shameful death? 
 
 Philip. Yes, there is one chance. Give me your 
 love and promise to become mine and I will find 
 a way to save him. 
 
 Mabel. I pray you, I implore you to save an inno- 
 cent man. You know that he is not guilty, but 
 you are actuated by motives of hate and revenge. 
 
 45 
 
WlTff TBE STARS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Philip. You have said it. Come — what do you say ? 
 Think quickly. 
 
 {Takes her hand, hut she draws it away.) 
 
 Mabel. You villain ! You miserable spy and scoun- 
 drel ! 
 
 Philip {scornfully). Big words. 
 
 Mabel. Oh, I hate you ! 
 
 Philip. Very well. Then he dies. {Moves to c.) 
 
 Mabel. Stop! On my knees {kneels) I beg for 
 clemency. Spare that poor wounded innocent 
 man. 
 
 {At this moment Lee is brought in by Lieutenant 
 and soldiers. Simpson, Louella, Widow and 
 Jacob follow. Lee is halted l. c. Others up and 
 down L. Lee sees Mabel kneeling to Philip.) 
 
 Lee. Miss Sanders, rise. Do not kneel to that black- 
 hearted villain. Don't beg for my life, for I 
 would not accept it at such a sacrifice. 
 
 Philip. She kneels because she loves you. 
 
 Mabel {rising). I was kneeling to save an American 
 from the clutches of a spy, a traitor, an alien 
 scoundrel whom I will unmask yet, in spite of 
 his uniform. 
 
 Philip. Stand him up against the wall. {To Lieu- 
 tenant.) Get your firing squad ready. 
 
 Lieutenant {evidently surprised). Sir! 
 
 Philip. Get your squad ready. Put the prisoner 
 against the wall there. {Points up c.) He will 
 be executed at once. 
 
 (Widow screams. Others agitated.) 
 
 Lee. You have no right. I demand a regular court- 
 martial. 
 
 Philip. This is war time. We will shoot first and 
 talk afterward. {To Lieutenant.) Obey or- 
 ders. 
 
 (Lieutenant salutes. Lee's hands are tied and he is 
 
 placed against wall up c.) 
 
 46 
 
WITR THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Mabel {to Philip). Will nothing move your heart 
 to do justice to that man? 
 
 Philip. He is a spy. The safety of our army de- 
 mands it. Put a bandage over his eyes. 
 
 Lee. No, I can look upon my comrades without fear, 
 for I have never disgraced this uniform ! 
 
 WiDov^. Bully for you! If I v^ere a man Fd tear 
 the uniform off of that sneak ! 
 
 {Points to Philip, and crosses r. to Mabel.) 
 
 Lee. Miss Sanders, one request. Let me have the 
 little flag you protected me v^ith. {She goes up c. 
 to him.) I v^ant to wear it next to my heart 
 as your last gift, and a suitable emblem for a 
 soldier to wear as he faces death. {She pins flag 
 on his breast.) Here, standing upon the brink 
 of eternity, I say to my comrades, to you, Miss 
 Sanders, and to all, that I am the victim of that 
 scoundrel's plot and I die an innocent man, but a 
 true American! In the words of Nathan Hale, 
 I regret that I have but one life to give to my 
 country ! 
 
 Philip. Make ready. {Soldiers get ready to fire. 
 Mabel screams and faints in arms of Widow, 
 who soothes her.) This is the fate of a spy! 
 Ready — aim! {Soldiers obey.) 
 
 (Jenks and Felix heard off r.) 
 
 Jenks. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Come 
 along! {They force in Glitter, holding pistols 
 to his head. ) We caught this spy red-handed and 
 weVe got the goods on him. 
 
 (Philip astounded.) 
 
 Philip {c, aside). Glitter! And caught. {Aloud.) 
 Where are your proofs that this man is a spy? 
 
 Jenks (r.). Right here. He had these dispatches 
 {shows them), but we got him all right. You 
 gave them to him, but we got 'em, see? 
 
 47 
 
WITS THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FMNOE 
 
 Glitter (r. c, aside to Philip). You've got to get 
 
 me out of this, or 111 squeal. 
 Philip. We will examine this spy after we get rid 
 
 of this one. {Indicates Lee.) 
 Lieutenant. A spy is a spy. If we shoot one we 
 
 should shoot both of them, sir. 
 
 {Everybody approves of this.) 
 
 All. That's right — shoot them both ! 
 
 (Philip dismayed.) 
 
 Simpson. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for 
 the rooster ! 
 
 (Glitter goes close to Philip.) 
 
 Glitter. Get me out of this, do you hear? 
 
 Philip. I can't do anything. I will not save Lee at 
 any price, come what may. I've got him, and 
 nothing shall stir me from my purpose. 
 
 Glitter. Do you mean to go back on me ? 
 
 Philip. You have been paid for your work. It is 
 the fortune of war. 
 
 Lieutenant. Come ! Put him up against the wall. 
 
 {Soldiers take Glitter up stage. He struggles and 
 breaks away from them. He runs to Philip, 
 down R.) 
 
 Glitter. The moment they aim a gun at me I'll tell 
 
 all I know, and denounce you. 
 Philip. Bah ! That for your threats. 
 
 {Snaps fingers.) 
 
 Glitter. I did all the dirty work at your command, 
 but I won't die for you! {Soldiers come down 
 and take him.) If I die, you die with me. 
 
 Philip {aside). It's strange that my signals have 
 not been answered. {Aloud.) Soldiers, do your 
 duty. Shoot them both. 
 
 {Soldiers place Glitter iip c. and take aim.) 
 48 
 
WlT£t THE STABS AND STEIPJES IN FRANCE 
 
 Glitter. Stop ! Soldiers ! I confess that I am a spy, 
 but there is my confederate ! (Points to Philip.) 
 Lee is innocent! Here is that man's personal 
 pass. 
 
 (Shows it. Philip is staggered. All are about to 
 attack or shoot Philip, hut at that moment a dis- 
 charge of firearms is heard off and shouts of the 
 Germans attacking the place also heard. Ger- 
 mans rush in r. and attack Americans. Philip 
 strikes down Lieutenant. Fight takes place but 
 Americans, outnumbered, are killed or captured. 
 Mabel runs to Lee, who tries to protect her. 
 Glitter is shot down by Jenks. Philip shows 
 he is triumphant and has Mabel and Lee as pris- 
 oners. Simpson and Louella join in the melee 
 hut are captured with the rest. With a laugh 
 of triumph Philip waves his signaling torch in 
 Lee's face.) 
 
 Philip (c). So! The masquerade is over. You 
 are prisoners to me and the Emperor of Germany. 
 
 Lee. I don't know which is the worst scoundrel. 
 But neither can break the spirit of an American 
 soldier ! 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
 49 
 
ACT III 
 
 SCENE. — Same as in Act II. All lights on. 
 
 (Music. At rise of curtain some American prisoners 
 are discovered. Lee seated on box l. c, Jacob r., 
 on ground or on box, trying to bite into a stale loaf 
 of bread. Simpson Crabface seated on a box 
 down L., with cards, trying to tell his own fortune. 
 Soon as curtain is up Simpson commences to sing 
 chorus of " Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are 
 Marching." Two German guards, Gottlieb, r., 
 and Siegfried, l., pound on the floor with their 
 rifles, demanding silence.) 
 
 Siegfried. Silence! Silence! Stop this noise! 
 Simpson. That shows how much you fellows know 
 about music. The}^ call my singing a noise. 
 
 {Prisoners laugh.) 
 
 Gottlieb. Shut up, you American pig-dogs. 
 Simpson. Look out that the American dogs don't 
 
 bite you! If they do you'll get sixteen kinds of 
 
 hydrophobia ! 
 
 {Prisoners take interest in all the conversation; ap- 
 prove and laugh at intervals.) 
 
 Jacob. Say! When do we get our rations? 
 
 {Sentries laugh.) 
 
 Gottlieb. These Americans want to eat. That's a 
 
 good joke, nicht wahr? 
 Simpson. Yes, but I don't want any of that bad 
 
 cabbage that you call sour krout, and that cheese. 
 
 Great Jerusalem ! You can find it in the dark. 
 Lee. Ah, boys, don't let this worry you. A true 
 
 American is never beaten till the last man is out 
 
 50 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 in the ninth inning. Cheer up. The boys will 
 come soon, and get us out of this. I feel sure 
 of it. 
 Simpson. That's so, Sergeant ! I've been telling my 
 fortune, and I see we'll all give these fellows the 
 slip yet. The cards never lie. 
 
 {Enter, r., a fat German major. The guards give the 
 ''rifle salute.") 
 
 Major. Don't allow these Americans too much lib- 
 erty in speech or movements. They are as 
 slippery as eels. Come down here, and I'll whis- 
 per the password to you. 
 
 {They come down c, and Major whispers to them 
 "' Crown Prince." While he is doing this Jenks 
 appears from behind the boxes, etc., up l. He 
 goes to Lee and speaks cautiously to him.) 
 
 Jenks. I have been exploring that secret under- 
 ground passage. It leads toward our advanced 
 lines. Sh ! I'll tell you more about it when I 
 get a chance. 
 
 {Skips back among the rubbish and disappears. 
 i Major turns. ) 
 
 Major. I will notify the outer guards to be doubly 
 careful. I want to get these prisoners, male and 
 female, away from here as soon as I can. 
 
 {Enter Philip, l. He is now in uniform of a Ger- 
 man colonel. He is followed by a few German 
 soldiers. Major and guards salute.) 
 
 Philip. The outer guards have orders to shoot any 
 one coming near the dead line. The enemy are 
 making preparations of some kind, but our spies 
 have not yet made a report. {To prisoners.) 
 How do you like the change in this game of war ? 
 {To Lee.) You had a narrow escape, but you 
 are not out of the woods. 
 
 51 
 
WITS THE 8TAES AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Lee. You are at last in your true element, and in 
 your correct viniform. 
 
 Philip. I will have more to say to you in a short 
 time. As a cat plays with a mouse before des- 
 troying it, so can I aiford to amuse myself with 
 you. {To Major.) Remove all prisoners to the 
 other building and secure them ! Don't be afraid 
 to shoot them if they attempt any rebellious move- 
 ments. 
 
 Major. Guards! Remove the prisoners. 
 
 {Sentries and other soldiers order the prisoners off R. 
 Lee looks at Philip with scorn and exits R. 
 This leaves Major and Philip alone, c.) 
 
 Philip. There is one American among that group 
 that I will trample under my feet when the time 
 comes. 
 
 Major. I have heard about this place from some of 
 our spies. They tell me there is a secret pass- 
 age — a relic of old days. We could use it to at- 
 tack the Americans or they could use it to surprise 
 us here. Do you know its exact location ? 
 
 Philip {surprised). No; I did not know of such a 
 passage. I do not place much reliance on such 
 stories. 
 
 Major {aside). He knows, but is trying to throw 
 me off the track. {Aloud.) You certainly know 
 something about it. 
 
 Philip. I have told you that I do not. 
 
 Major. How do we know that you are not playing a 
 double game on us ? Once a spy always a spy. 
 
 {Looks at Philip and exits r.) 
 
 Philip. A spy is not trusted even by his comrades. 
 Well, I'll look after him later on. I never forget 
 little compliments like that. I'll look over the 
 prisoners myself and try to console Sergeant Sam 
 Lee. {Laughs.) All my friends are here and I'll 
 try to make it pleasant for them. 
 
 {Exit, R.) 
 52 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STEIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 {Immediately Felix capers on from L. and dodges 
 around ad lib.) 
 
 Felix. So far they have overlooked me, but I've got 
 to make a get away from this place. They're 
 going to send all prisoners back from here, and 
 I must look after myself. (Felix, in searching 
 among rubbish, etc., up r. and l., finds a Nor- 
 mandy peasant girl's dress, apron, and Normandy 
 cap. He comes down c.) Here's the stuff! 
 With this disguise I can escape and get back to 
 the American lines. (Rolls up his trousers, 
 showing white stockings. He puts on the female 
 dress. Funny business ad lib., but not too slow. 
 Then he puts on the Normandy cap.) There! 
 I'd like to know if I don't look like the real thing ! 
 
 {He has taken but a few steps when the two German 
 sentries, Siegfried and Gottlieb, enter R. and 
 admire Felix.) 
 
 Siegfried. Oh! Wass a bootiful madchen. 
 Gottlieb. Oh ! Such a fine shape and sweetness. 
 
 Dot belongs to me yet. 
 Siegfried. I have dot seen first already. 
 
 {As these two cannot be given their native language, 
 dialect and distortion of phrases is permissible. 
 During the speeches Felix is puzzled and anxious 
 to avoid them.) 
 
 Gottlieb. You are such a big stick of sugar candy. 
 
 {Puts arm around Felix's waist.) 
 
 Siegfried. You are worse than candy. You iss 
 molasses yet. 
 
 {Puts his arm around Felix's waist,) 
 
 Felix {aside). I'll rap one of these chaps on the 
 jaw in a minute. 
 
 Gottlieb. You love me because I am a military sol- 
 dier — yes? 
 
 53 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STBIPES M FRANCE 
 
 Siegfried. And you love me because you can't help 
 
 it, no? 
 Felix. My mama don't allow me to flirt with strange 
 
 gentlemen. 
 Siegfried. We are not gentlemen — we are German 
 
 soldiers. 
 Gottlieb. I never was a gentleman since I was in 
 
 this army. 
 Felix. Anybody can tell that. You couldn't be if 
 
 you tried ; the Kaiser wouldn't let you. 
 Siegfried. And the officers are worse! {Laughs.) 
 Gottlieb. Yaw, yaw! Better as worse! Please 
 
 give me a kiss. 
 Siegfried. Me first, because I am the prettiest. 
 Gottlieb. I shall have the first kiss, because I saw 
 
 her first. 
 Felix. Oh! I am so bashful. I want to kiss you, 
 
 but you mustn't look at me when you kiss me. 
 Siegfried. No, I will shut my eyes open. 
 Gottlieb. Yes, I will close my eyes wide open. 
 Felix. I will do better than that. I will blindfold 
 
 you both. Have you a handkerchief between 
 
 you? 
 Siegfried. Handkerchief? What's dem for? 
 Felix. Never mind. I have some. {Takes two 
 
 handkerchiefs from pockets of dress or apron.) 
 
 Oh ! I hope mama won't catch me flirting with 
 
 you handsome men. 
 
 {Ties handkerchief over Siegfried's eyes, then blind- 
 folds Gottlieb with another.) 
 
 Siegfried. I am without eyes! I can't smell noth- 
 ings. 
 
 Gottlieb. And me too likewise. 
 
 Felix. Now when I say the word kiss me quick so 
 my mama won't see you. (Louella appears from 
 L. Felix motions to her. She expresses sur- 
 prise. ) Come down here ! { Louella advances. ) 
 Now, all ready! 
 
 {The two Germans advance to c. as Felix places 
 
 54 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 LouELLA c, and runs out l. The Germans throw 
 their arms around the astonished Louella and 
 kiss her repeatedly, she being unable to escape, 
 until they joyfully pidl off the bandages and then 
 see they have been kissing Louella. They utter 
 a yell of disappointment and wipe their mouths 
 in disgust. Louella produces a razor from her 
 shoe and slashing ad lib. at them chases them 
 out R.) 
 
 {Enter Mabel, l.) 
 
 Mabel. What is to be the fate of the prisoners? 
 We cannot expect much mercy from our captors 
 and none at all from the one who has persecuted 
 us at every chance. 
 
 ( Jenks appears from under rubbish, etc., up l., and 
 motions to her to be silent and careful.) 
 
 Jenks. Sh! Be careful, Miss Sanders. I'm acting 
 
 as a mole or a ground-hog digging in the earth. 
 
 I'm on the eve of a great discovery. 
 Mabel. What is it? 
 Jenks. Do you remember I told you about an old 
 
 secret passage? 
 Mabel. Yes — yes! Have you found it? Where 
 
 does it lead? 
 Jenks. It led from our lines to this place before the 
 
 Germans captured it. 
 Mabel {down l.). Yes, yes, go on. It may yet 
 
 prove the means of our escape. 
 Jenks (l. c). It may — but I haven't explored it 
 
 thoroughly yet. I have told Mr. Lee about it 
 
 and we're all anxious to get a line on it. Look 
 
 out ; our dear friend Philip approaches. I'll keep 
 
 an eye on him, never fear. 
 
 {Exit, R.) 
 
 {Enter Philip, r. He sees Mabel, l., and bows to 
 her.) 
 
 Philip. Miss Sanders, we seem to meet under strange 
 
 55 
 
WITS TEE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 circumstances at all times. It was a queer turn 
 of fortune that placed you all in our hands. But 
 we may as well make the best of it. (Calls.) 
 Sergeant! Bring in the American, Samuel Lee. 
 (A German soldier enters R. with Lee l.) You 
 may leave us, but remain within call. 
 Soldier. Very good, sir. 
 
 {Salutes and exit, R.) 
 
 (Mabel and Lee exchange glances.) 
 
 Lee (r., to Philip). What do you wish to say to me? 
 
 Philip {up-L. c). First, let me say that all prisoners 
 are going to be sent back to Germany. You have 
 certain information that may be of great use to 
 me. 
 
 Lee {down r.). And if I have it will never be re- 
 vealed to you while I live. 
 
 Philip. Miss Sanders has partially revealed some- 
 thing of importance. 
 
 Mabel (l., starts forward). It is false. I have not 
 spoken to you upon any subject whatever. 
 
 Philip. We will not discuss the matter. You have 
 a chance to save your lives. 
 
 Lee. Would you murder unarmed prisoners? 
 
 Philip {laughs). Murder! Oh, nothing so crude 
 as that. We will simply arrange matters so that 
 you will be very anxious to die. 
 
 (Mabel, l. c, shudders. Lee crosses to her. Philip 
 goes down r.) 
 
 Lee. I demand the treatment due to a prisoner. I 
 am an American soldier. 
 
 Philip. Bah! Why do you Americans keep shout- 
 ing so about your nationality? 
 
 Lee. Because Fd rather belong to America than to 
 any other nation on earth. 
 
 Philip. Why, forsooth? 
 
 Lee (c). Why? I would rather be an American 
 because I believe in the United States of America, 
 which has been created by the people and for the 
 ; 56 
 
Wim THE STARS AND STRIFES IN FRANCE 
 
 people. A land devoted to freedom and justice, 
 where one man is as good as another, and where 
 every man is the architect of his own fortune, 
 and can rise to the highest office in the gift of a 
 great nation. Abraham Lincoln was born in a 
 log cabin! I am an American because I do not 
 bow the knee to or recognize a tyrant and a despot 
 who compels his people to go as slaves and fight 
 his battles to perpetuate his throne and family. 
 I am an American because America is the land 
 of my birth, the country that fed me and made 
 a man of me. I am an American because I have 
 enlisted to fight under the Stars and Stripes for 
 the liberty of the world, and in my heart I carry 
 this resolution — In all good things America must 
 and shall be first ! 
 
 Mabel (l. c). Good! I never felt so proud of you 
 and my country as I feel at this moment. 
 
 1.EE (c). I can't conceive of a more despicable 
 traitor than the man who stands ready to betray 
 his country to a foreign power. 
 
 Philip {down r.). Men in high places in your own 
 boasted country are helping us. 
 
 Lee. Some day the American people will rise in 
 their wrath and drive out all those poisonous 
 reptiles ! 
 
 Philip. A very patriotic speech ; but what has Amer- 
 ica done that compares with the glorious deeds of 
 Germany ? 
 
 Mabel. Glorious deeds ! Yes — shooting nurses, shell- 
 ing churches filled with women and children, fir- 
 ing on poor fellows in boats who were trying to 
 save themselves, killing clergymen in Belgium and 
 murdering prisoners of war. You certainly have 
 some reason to glorify your deeds and your 
 boasted " Kultur." 
 
 Philip {angrily). Modify your language. 
 
 {Advances in a threatening manner to r. c. Lee steps 
 forzvard. Mabel steps between the two men, as 
 though shielding Lee from danger.) 
 
 57 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 Mabel. Do not fear for me. If it comes to the 
 worst I will show you how an American woman 
 can protect and defend herself from brutes in the 
 shape of men. 
 
 Philip. You also know that when we catch spies 
 over here we do not dilly-dally with them as your 
 American government does. We shoot them, 
 male or female. 
 
 Lee (starts). Male or female? 
 
 Philip. Yes, we have done so before, and will do so 
 again. Miss Sanders could be easily accused ! 
 
 Lee. What a low brute you are! 
 
 Ppiilip. I repeat — that she could be accused and shot. 
 
 Mabel (r. c). When I volunteered my services as 
 a nurse I fully believed that the German officers 
 would respect my sex and calling. 
 
 Philip (r.). This is war time. I need information. 
 There is a secret underground passage leading to- 
 ward the American trenches. (Mabel starts.) 
 Ah, I see you know something about it. Would 
 you save your lives? 
 
 Mabel. I reject your offer. I would not purchase 
 my life by giving you the slightest bit of informa- 
 tion. 
 
 Lee (c). God bless you, girlie, for refusing to live 
 as a dishonored representative of the land of your 
 birth. 
 
 Philip. During this war Germany has made spying 
 
 a science. To be a spy is not dishonorable in 
 
 . Germany. Some do their work through patriotic 
 
 motives and believe that Germany will yet be 
 
 master of the world. 
 
 Lee. It must be a fine nation that depends upon 
 treachery and dirty work to win. 
 
 Philip (impatiently). Very well. That's enough. 
 I'll have you shot within ten minutes. As for this 
 girl — she is mine. Come ! 
 
 (He seises Mabel's hand, and as she screams tries to 
 draw her to door r.) 
 
 Mabel (to Lee). Oh, save me! 
 
 58 
 
WITH THE S'TABS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 {Music. Lee jumps forward and seizes Philip by 
 the throat and a desperate struggle takes place. 
 Philip tries to draw his revolver hut Mabel 
 seizes his arm. Lee begins to get the best of 
 the fight and forces Philip to his knees, up r. 
 Philip yells.) 
 
 Philip. Help — guard — help! (Gottlieb and Sieg- 
 fried dash in R., throw Mabel aside and attack 
 Lee up R. This gives Philip a chance to rise, 
 up L. c.) Ach! Now we have him. Kill him! 
 {He turns to Mabel, who lies sobbing on ground 
 up c.) Now you will come with me! (Philip 
 seizes Mabel, and half carries, half drags her to r. 
 She fights him desperately, striking him in the 
 face.) What, you tigress! 
 
 {Standing near door R., he raises his arm to strike her, 
 when Jenks, rushing in r., seizes his arm. Lee 
 throws down the two soldiers in the same moment. 
 Jenks levels cu. pistol at Philip. Mabel sinks on 
 her knees.) 
 
 Jenks {to Philip). Keep your hands up, Kamerad 
 fashion. That's right. Now I'll relieve you of 
 this pistol. {Disarms Philip.) 
 
 Lee {going l.). Thank you, Jenks. Just in time. 
 My wound makes me weak. {Sinks on box, l.) 
 
 Jenks (r., to Philip). Three to one, you cowards; 
 but that's the only way you ever fight. {The 
 two soldiers make a movement but Jenks covers 
 them.) Make another move and I'll blow your 
 heads off. 
 
 Philip. Call the guard ! 
 
 Jenks. Shut up, or I'll call the undertaker! 
 {Threatens them ad lib. Jenks then calls.) 
 Crabface — Crabface ! 
 
 (Simpson enters r., with rope lasso.) 
 
 Simpson. Right here! 
 
 Jenks. Take out these prisoners and tie them up. 
 ^Hands Philip's revolver to Simpson after 
 
 59 
 
WITH THE STABS AND STBIPE8 IN FRANCE 
 
 Simpson has placed his rope around the two sol- 
 diers and Philip.) Take them out! (Simpson 
 pulls the Germans out r. Business ad lib.) Now- 
 then be quick ! I've found the secret passage and 
 sent word to our Sammees. (Mabel and Lee 
 are delighted.) Look out for a picnic. {Explo- 
 sion heard off l.) What's that? {Runs to win- 
 dow c. and looks out.) Great Scott! A shell 
 has exploded right at the end of the secret passage ! 
 Mabel {despairingly). We are lost! We are lost! 
 
 {Rattle of musketry off L. ; distant shouts and loud 
 explosions. Lee goes to window up r. c.) 
 
 Lee. That's an American barrage. Our boys are 
 about to attack. {Comes dozvn from window.) 
 
 Mabel. Oh, will they shell this building? 
 
 Lee (c). I'm afraid so. It may come any moment 
 
 Mabel {going to him up c). At least we die to- 
 gether. 
 
 Lee. Then you care — you love me! 
 
 Mabel. Better than life itself ! I have always loved 
 you and always will. 
 
 Lee. If we are spared will you be my wife? 
 
 Mabel. Yes, yes! 
 
 {They embrace. Another rattle of firearms heard. 
 LouELLA runs on r. with a rifle and revolver and 
 gives weapons to Lee.) 
 
 LouELLA. Here! If the Germans attack us defend 
 yourself ! 
 
 (Lee takes Mabel off l. Exit Louella, r. Widow 
 rushes in r., screaming, "Save me!" Runs into 
 arms of Jenks.) 
 
 Jenks. Wait until after the fight ! 
 
 {Casts her off and rushes off l., followed by Widow 
 screaming, ''Don't desert me, dear Johnson! 
 Come back!" Simpson dashes on from r. and 
 when he is c. a shot is fired off R. Simpson falls 
 with his head to r. The fat Major runs on from 
 60 
 
WITE THE STARS AND STRIPES IN FRANCE 
 
 R., kicks and abuses Simpson, then as he starts 
 to go L., Simpson sits up and shoots him in the 
 hack, then runs off r., pursued by Major, limp- 
 ing. Lee and Mabel enter l. Keep up shoot- 
 ing and shouts off stage.) 
 
 Lee. The boys are at hand. Remain close beside me. 
 We'll die together if need be. 
 
 (Philip rushes on from, r.) 
 
 Philip. You expect a rescue, do you? Surrender! 
 Lee. This is my answer ! 
 
 {Shoots Philip, who staggers and falls r. c. At this 
 moment the Americans dash in l., led by Jenks, 
 Felix and Lieutenant. German soldiers drive 
 in the prisoners from l. They run over to their 
 rescuers. All characters are now in this general 
 conflict. The Germans are beaten down or killed. 
 Lee, up c, takes the flag from an American sol- 
 dier who is wounded and while embracing Mabel 
 he waves the flag over the cheering Americans.) 
 
 Lieutenant. Where's Rhinehart ? Where's the spy ? 
 Lee {pointing to Philip). There he lies — he will 
 
 serve Germany no longer ! So perish all enemies 
 
 of the Stars and Stripes in France ! 
 
 curtain 
 
 6i 
 
Unusually Good Entertainments 
 
 Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
 Your Next Program 
 
 GRADUATION DAY AT WOOD MILI. SCHOOL. 
 
 An Entertainment in Two Acts, by Ward Macauley. For six 
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 EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOXi. 
 
 An Entertainment in One Act, by Ward Macauley. Eight male 
 and six female characters, with minor parts. Plays one hour. 
 Scene, an easy interior, or may be given without scenery. Cos- 
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 BACK TO THE COUNTRY STORE. A Rural Enter- 
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 Two scenes, both easy interiors. Can be played effectively with- 
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 Quig's home. He returns a failure but is offered a partnership 
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 surprise party given in his honor. Easy to do and very funny. 
 Price, 15 cents. 
 
 THE DISTRICT CONVENTION. A Farcical Sketch 
 in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For eleven males and one 
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 SI SLOCUM'S COUNTRY STORE. An Entertainment 
 in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eleven male and five female 
 characters with supernumeraries. Several parts may be doubled. 
 Plays one hour. Interior scene, or may be played without set 
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 THE PENW PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 PHILADELPHIA 
 
Unusually Good Entertaioments 
 
 Read One or More of These Before Decidlsig on 
 Your Next Program 
 
 A SUBPKISE PARTY AT BRINKLEY'S. An En- 
 tertainment in One Scene, by Ward Macauley. Seven male and 
 seven female characters. Interior scene, or may be given with- 
 out scenery. Costumes, modern. Time, one hour. By the 
 author of the popular successes, "Graduation Day at Wood Hill 
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 planned a birthday surprise party for Mary Brinkley, recently 
 graduated from college. They all join in jolly games, songs* 
 conundrums, etc., and Mary becomes engaged, which surprises 
 the surprisers. The entertainment is a sure success. Price, IS cents, 
 
 JONES VS. JINKS. A Mock Trial in One Act, by 
 Edward Mumford. Fifteen male and six female characters, with 
 supernumeraries if desired. May be played all male. Many of the 
 parts (members of the jury, etc.) are small. Scene, a simple 
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 Time of playing, one hour. This mock trial has many novel 
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 THE SIGHT-SEEING CAR. A Comedy Sketch in One 
 Act, by Ernest M. Gould. For seven males, two females, or 
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 that four persons may play the sketch. Time, forty-five minutes. 
 Simple street scene. Costumes, modern. The superintendent 
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 THE CASE OF SMYTHE VS. SMITH. An Original 
 Mock Trial in One Act, by Frank Dumont, Eighteen males 
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 Scene, a county courtroom ; requires no scenery ; may be played 
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 produced in any place or on any occasion, and provides almost 
 any number of good parts. Price, 15 cents. 
 
 THE OLD MAIDS* ASSOCIATION. A Farcical Enter^ 
 tainment in One Act, by Louise Latham Wilson, For thirteett 
 females and one male. The male part may be played by a 
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 BARGAIN DAY AT BI<OOMSTEIN'S. A Farcical 
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 THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
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Successful Plays for All Girls 
 
 In Selecting Your Next Play Do Not Overlook This List 
 
 YOUNG DOCTOR DEVINE. A Farce in Two Acts, 
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 SISTER MASONS. A Burlesque in One Act, by Frank 
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 A COMMANDING PdSITION. A Farcical Enter- 
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 cents, 
 
 HOW A WOMAN KEEPS A SECRET. A Comedy 
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 Time, half an hour. Scene, an easy interior. Costumes, modern. 
 Mabel Sweetly has just become engaged to Harold, but it's "the 
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 THE OXFORD AFFAIR. A Comedy in Three Acts, 
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LIBRARY OF CUN(jHtt>D 
 
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