25:iiMi piiRusHEK? csmm DENISON'S ACrrNG PLAYS Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Laree Catatoeue Free. DRAMAS, COMEDIES, ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. M. F. Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 acts, 2^ hrs (35c) 8 8 Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 2 hrs (35c) 15 After the Game, 2 acts, 1J4 - hrs (25c) 1 9 All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (3Sc) 4 4 All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 2^ hrs (35c) 6 10 And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 234 hrs (50c) 6 6 Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 7 5 Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2J^ hrs (50c) 6 6 As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 2V2 hrs (35c) 9 7 At the End of the Rainbow, 3 acts, 214 hrs (35c) 6 14 Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 9 3 Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, \Y\ hrs. (25c) 17 Boy Scouts* Good Turn, 3 acts, \yk hrs (25c) 16 2 Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2% hrs (25c) 7 3 Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 7 4 Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2^ h. (25c) 7 4 Call of the Colors, 2 acts, Ij/^ hrs (25c) 4 10 Call of Wohelo, 3 acts, \Va hrs (25c) 10 Camouflage of Shirley, 3 acts, 2y^ hrs (35c) 8 10 Civil Service, 3 acts, 2l^ hrs. (3Sc) 6 5 College Town, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs (35c) 9 8 Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 21^ hrs. (35c) 5 5 Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (35c) 6 4 Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2^2 hrs (25c) 8 4 Dream That Came True, 3 acts, 214 hrs (35c) 6 13 - Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 Enchanted Wood, 1^4 h.(35c).Optnl. Everyyouth, 3 acts, IJ^ h. (25c) 7 6 Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 4 4 For the Love of Johnny, 3 acts, 2\i hrs (50c) 6 3 Fun on the Podunk Limited, 11/2 hrs (30c) 9 14 Gettin' Acquainted, 25 min. (35c) 1 2 Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 2 hrs (35c) 3 5 M. F. High School Freshman, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 12 Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 214 hrs. (25c) 6 4 Jayville Junction, ly^ hrs. (25c) 14 17 Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 2^ hrs (35c) 10 9 Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 acts, 2yi hrs (35c) 6 12 Laughing Q,\x\t, 2 acts, IJ^ hrs. (35c) 4 5 Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 2% hrs." (35c) 5 4 Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. ' (25c) 7 4 Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 hrs (35c) 3 4 Mirandy's Minstrels."... (30c) Optnl. Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytovvn, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 4 7 My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 2J^ hrs. (35c) 6 6 OH Maid's Club, 1J4 hrs. (30c) 2 16 Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 8 6 Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 1)4 hrs (30c) 12 9 On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 214 hrs (25c)10 4 Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 hrs (35c) 4 4 Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2^4 h.(35c) 7 4 Real Thing After All, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 7 9 Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 10 12 Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 2% hrs (35c) S 7 Safety First, 3 acts, 2M hrs (35c) 5 5 Southern Cinderella, 3 acts. 2 hrs (30c) 7 Spark of Life, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 4 4 Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 2^ hrs (35c) 10 10 Star Bright, 3 acts, 214 h. (35c) 6 5 Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 6 4 Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 254 hrs (3Sc) 9 16 Tony, the Convict, 5 acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 7 4 Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2^ hrs. (35c) 6 18 Trip to Storyiand, W^. hrs. (25c) 17 23 , Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 214 hrs. (25c) 8 3- Under Blue Skies, 4 acts. 2 hrs (3Sc) 7 10 When Smith Stepped Out, 3 acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 Whose Little Bride Are You? 3 acts, 254 hrs (50c) 5 5 Winning Widow, 2 acts, VA hrs. (25c) 2 4 T,S.DENISON& COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago ALMOST AN ACTOR COONTOWN CROSSFIRE BY WADE STRATTON AUTHOR OF '.^n Awful Appetite," "The Barber's Bride." "Cash Money, "Hitting the African Harp," Etc. CHICAGO T. S. DENISON & COMPANY Publishers ALMOST AN ACTOR CHARACTERS. Ambrose A Dusky Actor Jasper Almost Another ><-< V '^"^ Flace—WJw Knozvsf "Y> ^^ ack^ .W Time — Who Cares? Time of Playing — About Tzventy Minutes. COSTUMES. Ambrose — Pompous, swaggering negro of the conven- tional "ham actor" type ; battered silk hat, gaudy suit badly frayed ; carries battered suitcase containing soiled shirt, a few celluloid collars and fake shirt fronts, etc. Piece of paper in pocket to hand to Jasper. Jasper — A down-and-out cdon ; worn and patched over- alls or other dilapidated costume ; station porter's cap, pref- erably red. '-"" STAGE DIRECTIONS. R. means right of stage; C, center; R.C., right center, L., left; I E., first, entrance ; U. E., upper entrance; 7?. j E., right entrance up stage, etc. ; up stage, away from foot- lights ; down stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience. Notice. — Production of this play is free to amateurs, but the sole professional rights are reserved by. the publishers. COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 2 ©CI.D sgoiiJ} ^^ TMPC6-006673 ALMOST AN ACTOR Scene: A street or wood drop, if available, in "one*\' but scenery is not essential. Lights: Up all throuyli. Music : Lively jazz for opening and closing. At rise, Ambrose enters, zvitJi Jasper trailing after him, the latter trying to get possession of Ambrose's suitcase. Each is clutching the handle. Ambrose tries zvith his free hand to push Jasper away. After a brief comic struggle the suitcase falls open and the contents are spilled on the stage. Both drop the suitcase. Music stops. Ambrose. Now look what you done, you fresh, ignorant niggah ! Jasper. Ah ain't done it. The vaHse done it. Ambrose. All got me a good mind fo' to git you arrested fo' assault an' battery. Jasper. Boss, you is kind o' salt an' peppery. Wha' fo' you got mad on me? Ambrose. Wha' fo' is Ah got mad on you? Wha' fo'? WhdJ fo' is any gen'man got mad "on any low-down, rough- neck, bolshevikamous niggah what comes an' busts open his fav-o-rite, special, high-priced wahdrobe trunk? {Straight- ens his collar, smooths his coat, eh\.) Yo' ignorance remlahs me completely diso'ganized ! Jasper. Boss, Ah ain't done nothin'. Ambrose, (sarcastically). Oh, no. You ain't done noth- in' — nothin' a-tall ! Jasper. Ah jest comes up to you at the deepo, an Ah says, ''Boss, kin Ah smash yo' baggage?" Ambrose. You smashed it, all right. Jasper. No Ah ain't. Ambrose. An' Ah says you is ! (Angrily.) Lo(jk at it ! Jasper. Boss, that valise done lost its vitality when you 3 4 ALMOST AN ACTOR • an' me was puffec' strangehs. {Picks up (jarnicnts and puts them ill suitcase.) Ain't nothin' busted. Ambrose. Ain't nothin' busted 'cause ain't nothin' com- bustible. Suppose Ah had had some precious crockery in mah valise? Suppose Ah had had a pint o' gin? Jasper. That's what Ah did suppose, which elucidates mah activity. {Finishes packing, closes bag and picks it up.) Carry yo' valise fo' a dime. Boss? Ambrose. Ought to be proud to carry mah valise fo' nothin'. Ah is a notorious personage. Jasper. Sure 'nough? Ambrose (thrusting his Jiand in breast of coat). Boy, yo' is beholdin' the classic features of Ambrose Shakespeare White, the immortal tragedian actor. Jasper. A actor! But Boss — {scratching his head) Ah ain't nevah saw you in the movies. Ambrose. Movies ! You low-brow rough-neck ! In course you ain't ! Mine is a loftier spear. Ah interpolates the world's most classic litterchure. Jasper. Ain't you simply splendiferous! Boss, Ah reckon a actor is somethin' what Ah wouldn't rathah be anything else than which. Ambrose. You ambitiates fo' to be a actor? Jasper. That's what Ah pre-tickelerly perspires fo' to be. Ambrose. Then Ah got you a job! Ah is not only a actor, but a manageh. Ah got a position fo' you. {Puts hand on Jasper's shoulder.) Consideh yo'self undeh arrest — (Jasper cringes) — 'scuse me, Ah means undeh engage- ment. Jasper. How much does Ah git? Ambrose. Boy, Ah fears you is too mercerized evah to rise to extinction. Yo' salary is the last thing to be con- sidahed. Jasper {starting away). Then this job is likewise the last thing to be considahed. Ambrose. Whah you gwine? Jasper. Gwine fo' to kiss mah rosy dream of thespian fame goodby, an' smash a valise fo' a thin dime. ALMOST AN ACTOR 5 Ambrose {extending his hand). Hoi' on! Now is yo' glorious opportunity! If you kin domonstrify yo' circum- navigation as a elocutionary prodigy, yo' financial status will be indefinable! Jasper {coming back). That's different. Ambrose. Ah will proceed to scrutinize yo' disqualifica- tions. Now you got to act. Git ovah thah. (Points and Jasper moves as directed.) Ah will come ovah an' condem- nify you as a villyan an' a traitor to the state, an' you will draw yo'self up fiercely an' call me a liah. Now. Hyah Ah comes. (Strides over to Jasper and slaps him hard on the hack. Jasper nearly falls.) You is a villyan an' a traitor to the state ! Jasper {in a very zveak voice). Liah. Ambrose (disgusted). Oh, that's terrible, terrible! Jasper. Don't git mad, Boss. Ah ain't mean it. You done tol' me fo' to call yo' a liah, an' — Ambrose (excited). In course Ah tol' you fo' to call me a liah ! But Ah ain't tol' you f o' to sing it like a mosquito ! Ah'll show you. Now you call me a villyan an' a traitor to the state. Jasper (rolling back his coat- sleeve). Kin Ah wham you lak you done* whammed me? Ambrose (cautiously). You kin wham me a genteel wham. That's play actin'. Jasper (feeling his muscle and limbering up his arm). Than Ah's a nat'ral bo'n j^lay actor. (Slaps Ambrose hard on the back.) Ambrose (staggering). The wham ain't the most impo'- tant part. You is got to say, "You is a villyan an' a traitor to the state!" (Jasper repeats limbering up business.) Nevah min' the wham. Jes' say it. Jasper. You is a villyan an' a traitor an' a cheap skate ! Ambrose. Not a cheap skate! You fo'got yo' lines. Jasper. An' you is fo'got mah salary. Ambrose. Try again. "You is a villyan an' a traitor to the state !" Jasper. You is a villyan an' a traitor to the state ! 6 ALMOST AN ACTOR • Ambrose (fiercely). Liar-r-r! Jasper (shrinking). Ah done say what you tol' me to says. Ambrose. In course you has. An Ah done show you how to say what you is exposed to say back. Jasper. You is called me a liah. Ambrose. Play actin'. It don't mean nothin'. Jasper. \\'hat you says about mah wages, maybe that don't mean nothin' neither? Ambrose. Nevah min' yo' wages! Fust you is got to learn how to act. You is got to learn how to make a hit. Jasper (turning back his sleeve). Make a hit is the best thing which Ah does. Ambrose. You ain't suspected to make a hit on me. You is to make a hit with the audience. Jasper. S'pose somebody massage mah face with some ancient hen fruit. Then the audience make the hit. Ambrose. Ah'll give you an idea of the plot. Ah is a man of immense fambly. Jasper. You is got mah sympathy. How does they eat? Ambrose. Nevah min' ! Ah leaves mah wife an' fo'teen chillen an' the scenes of mah boyhood — Jasper. \\^ith the sherifif afteh you. Ambrose. Yes, with — (checking himself) in course not ! Ah wanders in foreign lands — Jasper. In — r-? (Nearby town.) Ambrose. Yes, in — no, not a-tall ! In foreign lands in search fo' gold. Aftah many years Ah returns to mah fam- bly, with millions of untold wealth. Jasper. \Miere at? Ambrose. In this hyah valise. (Jasper grabs for bag.) Lay off'n that ! The money's only in the play. Jasper. You said it was in the valise. (Mimics Am- brose's tragic style.) Liar-r-r! Ambrose. As Ah^ enters, you info'ms me that you is mah long lost brothah. Jasper. Ah is yo' brothah ? Ambrose. You is. . ALMOST AN ACTOR 7 Jasper (clasping liand to brow). Mah mothah has been with-holclin' from me a terrible secret ! Ambose. Yo' wife an' chillen is stahvin' for want of food. Jasper. My wife an' chillen? Boss, you knows mo' about me than Ah knows mahself. Ambrose. This is play actin'. You" is stahvin'. Jasper. Play actin' nothin ! It's the gospel truth ! Ambrose. Now go ahead an' walk lak you ain't et nothin' fo' a month. (Jasper walks across vigorously. ) No, no ! Get back. You walk like you is loaded to capacity with po'k chops an' gravy! Hyah is yo' lines. (Hands him a sheet of paper.) The big paht is where you hides, an' then you sighs deeply, like this. (Sighs.)- Then you walks like this (walks ivcarily) an' you falls on yo' knees befo' me, an' you grabs me by mah coat-tails, and says, "Brothah, niah wife an' chillen is stahvin'! Oh, give me gold!" Now we'll rehearse. Jasper. Who said hearse? Ah is stahvin'. but Wx ain't (lead yit. Ambrose. Nevah min' ! Go ahead an' act! Jasper (reading). "Thus fah has Ah wandered on the dusty road to peace an' happiness." .\mbrose. Fine! Go on! Jaspi^. "Mah limbs is weary of well doin'. Ah will hie me to some friendly rock and rye." Ambrose. What's that? Ain't nothin' 'bout no rock an' rye! (Looks at paper.) "Some friendly rock an' rest!" jasper. That ain't so appetizin'. "Ah will hie me to some friendly rock an' rest." Jasper crouches behind R. zving and peeks around it. so that his head is visible. Ambrose exits L. and immedi- ately re-enters, in "ham actor" fashion, swaggering steps, with hand thrust in breast of coat, etc. Ambrose (dramatically). Gold is not happiness, nor riches peace. Oh, could Ah but find my long lost brothah— {looks around at Jasper.) Go ahead. That's yo' cue. Jasper. My cue? Now is we playin' pool? 8 ALAIOST AN ACTOR • Ambrose. Not a-tall. That's yo' cue fo' to sigh deeply. Listen now. "Could Ah but find mah long lost brothah — (Jasper gives a piercing scream.) Fo' love of Pete, what's that? Jasper. That's a sigh deeply. Ambrose. Sounds lak whistle fo' dinneh time. Has you fo'got you is hungry? Jasper. Wish't Ah could fo'git it. Ambrose. Go ahead. Fall on yo' knees, an' spout yo' oratory. Jasper (reading). "Brothah — " -Vmbrose. Brothah? Rinaldo, mah mothah's long lost feeble-minded boy! (Starts to embrace him.) Jasper (drannng hack threateningly). Who's feeble- minded ? Ambrose. Go ahead, you jass-ack ! Read yo' lines ! Jasper {on his knees). "Brothah, mah child an' fo'teen wives is stahvin' !" Ambrose. Mah brothah's fambly stahvin'? Jasper. Ah'll say we is ! Ambrose. Shut yo' big mouth ! That ain't in the play ! Stahvin'? (Extends hag.) Hyah, Rinaldo, is uncounted gold — Jasper. "Mah own brothah, returned with all the wealth ot creosote — Ambrose. Not creosote, you liver-lipped niggah ! All the wealth of Croesus ! Jasper. "Mah wife an' chillen is stahvin'! Oh, brothah. gimme — " (forgets to go on reading from paper) gimme a plate o' Boston baked beans an' chicken gravy an' dumplin's an' fried potatoes an' pigs' knuckles an' — Ambrose. Boy! Don't make mention of them things! Yo' savory conversation has completely ruined mah inspira- tion. Jasper. Ah wish somebody would completely ruin mah appetite ! Ambrose. If Ah had two bits fo' to feed mah face — (Quick music, vcr\ soft.) ALMOST AN ACTOR 9 Jasper (grabbing Ambrose's ami and pointing off, c.v- citedly). Look yondeh ! Yondeh goes a white man with two big suitcases an' a fur-lined overcoat ! Good f o' two bits apiece f o' them suitcases ! Ambrose {starting off and dragging Jasper by the hand). Come on, boy! Hyah's where we eats! (Shouts off.) Hey, Boss! Smash yo' baggage? (Quick exit to music loud and fast.) Curtain. DENISON'S MINSTREL OPENING CHORUSES AND FINALES By JEFF BRANEN Something new. A boon, especially to amateurs. Assure the success of your minstrel performance. Get your audience in a friendly mood, tingling witli the warm glow of pleasure, from the opening curtain. Get away to a flying start and make a whirlwind finish, and your show will be pro- nounced a success, even though there may be some rough spots in between. Provide a relish at the beginning, make your inter- vening acts as good as your individual talent will permit and then leave your audience wath a good taste in their mouths. Denison's Minstrel Opening Choruses and Finales are for the purpose of creating good first and last impressions. As such they are made to order and are as good as professionals ever used. No more will you have to follow the practice of relying for this all important work upon a novice w'ho probably will throw together some stale choruses and call it an opening and perhaps may ask \ou to close with a simple song which means nothing. Each Opening Chorus and Finale tells an original and interesting story and will instantly thaw the chilliest audience. Laughable, ar- tistic and in excellent taste. The finale of each chorus is a witty ■'thank you." NOW READY Number One For Blackface Minstrels Number Two For Whiteface Minstrels Number Three For Female Minstrels Number Four For Legion Minstrels Piano Score, Words and Music. Price, Each Number, Postpaid, 75 Cents. Supplementing the vocal score, a special orchestration is fur- nished for each Denison's Minstrel Opening Chorus and Finale. It provides for eleven instruments including effective saxophone obbligatos. the latter being the final word in arrangements of this kind. The cost of the orchestration is extra, but is trivial compared with the expense of employing a local or special arranger. Elcven-Iristrniuevf Orchestration {No sets broken). Price, Each Number, Postpaid, $1.50 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 623 South Wabash Avenue, CHICAGO New Blackface Series For Minstrels and Vaudeville Price, 25 Cents Each, Postpaid 10"""!;^?, ^^P'f^'^, °°^^ CLUB.-Blackface farce, by Jeff Branen; 10 males. 1 female. Time, 2d mmutes. The rattle of the cubes the burning- of a neighboring chicken coop and the tragic loss of the contraband "hkker" combine to shatter the nerves of the dom- ino gallopers. But they do gallant rescue work. An ideal afterpiece. ALMOST AN ACTOR.— Coontown crossfire, by Wade Stratton; ^ males. Time, 20 minutes. A seedy manager tries to initiate a station porter into the thespian art, but they find there is little in.spiration when hunger gnaws. This skit crackles with fresh gags and comedy business. Both parts are rich THE BATTLE OF ROAR ING-BU LL.— A black and copper-colored massacre, by Jeff Branen; 11 or more males. Time. 30 minutes Two wandering darkies fall into the clutches of a terriSe red: skin tribe, with hair-raising results. Can be effectively elaborated r/te^i^S. ■^' ^^''•' ^"t^°^"^>"^ entire minstrel troupe as an .. Jil.^rp^'-'^^i^^ VAMP.— By Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 males, 2 fe- males. Time, 15 minutes. Sam thought his wife didn't appreciate n ?2' t^ r^ got his good friend Phil to impersonate a dusky vam- pire, to liven things up. He livened things up, all right. Chance rAcI!" 1]:^^}IZ''^ specialties. The female%arts can be ''doubled '' o ^t^H ^S-^^^h::^ minstrel spree for three, by Wade Stratton; o males. Time, 20 minutes. Two travelers are forced to share a room in a fust-class cullud boa'din' house, with almo.st fatal re- sults. The handsome waiter is a factor in the mixup. Fine chance tor comedian who plays banjo, ukulele or guitar. THE COON AT THE DOOR.— A black-and-white skit, bv Jeff Branen; 3 niales Tune. 20 minutes. The doctor's office bov fears the man at the door is his hated rival, and his efforts to evade a meeting are side-splitting. The wliite doctor blackens up and douI)les as the mysterious coon. Specialties are to be introduced. , ^ DARK SECRET.— Colored farce of mystery, by Jeff Branen; 4 males. 1 female. Time, 30 minutes. This screaming story of the adventure of a negro detective and his dusky a.'^sistant ' has nmde thousands roar when presented on the professional stage, and IS now availa)>le in print for the first time. FU'ST AID TO CUPID.— Minstrel absurdity, bv Wade Stratton; 3 males 2 females. Time, 20 minutes. Willie, a wandering waga- bond without wim. wigor, witality or wittles, who poses as a "mis- ery specialist to aid the course of true love, will bring down the • "^"•":^^A welcome modern adaptation of the sham doctor theme. HITTING THE AFRICAN HARP.— Blackface skit for a banjo duo, by Wade Stratton; 2 males Time. 15 minutes, or according to specialties. Written as a veliicle for a banjo plaving team to introduce specialties, and rich in cowiedv lines and business. Verv popular with college banjo clubs, etc., as a novelty stunt. KISS ME, CAMILLE!— Blackface novelty, by Wade Stratton; Z males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Horatio, the dramatic teacher, finds Lucinda a promising pupil, and they rehearse love scenes with enthusiasm. But Luke McFluke. his other pupil, doesn t take kindly to the course of training, and the instructor is sadly out of luck. The blackface travesty on "Camille" is a scream. THE MYSTERIOUS SUITCASE.— Bv Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 males. Time, J 5 minutes. Sam has to carrv Harry's grip, and both negroes have a laughable time trving to keep the mvsterv from leaking out. The fact that thev stop to rest near a cemetery also gives Sam cause for serious thinking. T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago Son^ Numbers for Your Show Make a program of live wire hits. Prices below as indicated, postpaid. Complying- with a demand for a series of musical numbers which are well adapted for interpolation in musical comedies, revues and minstrel shows, the publishers are bringing out the following care- fully selected songs, ideally suited to this purpose, for which they were especially written. Each number is in regular sheet music form, for piano and voice, with beautiful title page in colors. CARMEN, SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY CHARM IN'.— A novelty comic number with very raggy treatment of characteristic Spanish music. Splendid for ensemble as well as for solo. Price, 30 Cents. CROONIN' NEATH THE COTTON-PICKIN' MOON.— A beau- tiful southern serenade, rich in mellow chords and close harmony; excellent feature for any musical comedy or minstrel show, espe- cially for male quartet; includes quartet arrangement. Price, 30 Cents. HINDU MAN. — A cleverly worded and gorgeously harmonized oriental number that carries the weird spell of mystic India in both lyric and melody. An unrivalled production number, and will fit any program. Price, 30 Cents. GOOD NIGHT, DEAR NIGHT.— An out-of-the-ordinary ballad, characterized as a semi-classic, with piano accompaniment of vm- usual beauty. Wortliy of feature position on any musical program. A splendid concert number. Price, 30 Cents. I AIN'T GOT ENOUGH TO PASS AROUND.— An irresistibly funny coon song, with a blue-y accompaniment. Every bit as good as "Constantly" and "Somebody Lied," by the same writer. Every burnt cork comedian needs it. Price, 30 Cents. OSHKOSH, B'GOSH!— A "hey rube" novelty number that is crowded with wit and unexpected twists in the lyric. Charac- teristic josh music that takes you right back to the farm, by heck! A great number for a character comedian. Price, 30 Cents. SOON I'LL BE THE CZAR OF ZANZI BAR.— Dan McGrover was a rover in his motor car. The letter tliat he wrote to McClusky from far off Zanzibar intimated that he was sitting on the world. A speedy number that will ring the bell for a laughing hit. Price, 30 Cents. THE SUNBEAM AND THE MOONBEAM.— A charming ballad with a novel idea charmingly expressed, and a melody with a haunting (luality. combine to make this song appreciated by any audience. Includes arrangements for male and mixed quartets. Price, 30 Cents. WONDERFUL.— A whimsical love song that will fit into any mu- sical show, and is easily adapted as a double number for male and female. Equally good for male or female solo. Price, 30 Cents. YOUR LITTLE GIRL.— An appealing ballad, harmonized in catchy syncopated tempo. Excellent solo number, especiallv for mixed or female minstrels. Includes special chorus arrangements for male and mixed quartets. Price, 30 Cents. THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM.— This sure-fire comedy mono- logue, with musical accompaniment, has been used by America's foremost professional entertainers, but was never placed on general sale, and is now available to amateurs for the first time. Eleven pages, complete with descriptive music, 50c T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, 623 S.Wabash Ave.. Chicago DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays, Large Catalogue Free FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. Price 25 Cents Each M. F. All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 min 1 2 Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 35 min 11 Billy's Chorus Girl, 30 min... 2 3 Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 Borrowing Trouble, 20 min 3 5 Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 Class Ship, 35 min 3 8 Divided Attentions, 35 min... 1 4 Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 Goose Creek Line, 1 far 3 10 Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 Honest Peggy, 25 min 8 Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 Last Rehearsal, 25 min 2 Men Not Wanted, 30 min Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 Not a Man in the House, 40 m. Paper Wedding, 30 min 1 Pat's Matrimonial Venture, 25 min 1 Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 Rummage Sale, 50 min 4 10 Sewing for the Heathen, 40 mm Shadows, 35 min 3 Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 min 7 Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 min^ 3 Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 Wanted: a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of Spades, 40 min 3 Whole Truth, 40 min 5 Who's the Boss? 30 min 3 Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 FARCES, COIVIEDIETAS, Etc. Price 15 Cents Each April Fools, 30 min 3 Assessor, The, 15 min 3 2 Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 Before the Play Begins, IS min 2 1 Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 Country Justice, 15 mm 8 Cow that Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 2 Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 For Love and Honor, 20.min.. 2 1 Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min. . 5 M. F. Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 3 4 Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 ] Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 Please Pass the Cream, 20 min. 1 1 Second Childhood, 15 min 2 2 Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 1 1 That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 1 1 VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES Price 25 Cents Each Amateur, 15 min 1 1 At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 Coming Champion, 20 min..., 2 Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 Pete Yansen's Curl's Moder, 10m. 1 Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min.. 4 Si and I, 15 rain 1 Special Sale, 1 5 min 2 Street Faker, 15 min 3 Such Ignorance, 15 min 2 Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 Time Table, 20 min 1 1 Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 Umbrella IMender, 15 min.... 2 Vait a Minute 2 BLACK-FACE PLAYS Price 2 5 Cents Each Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 Booster Club of Blackville, 25 min 10 Colored Honeymoon, 25 min. ..22 Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 Darktown Fire Brigade, 25m.. 10 Good Mornin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 Hungry, 15 min 2 Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 Memphis Mose, 25 min 5 1 Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 What Happened to Hannah, 15 min 1 1 A great number of Standard and Amateur Plays not found here are listed in Denison's Catalogue T.S.DENISON&COMPANY,Publishers,623S. Wabash Ave.^Chicago 1—921 POPULAR ENTERT Price, Illustrated Paper THE FAVORITE BOOK or DRILLS IN this Series are found books touching every feature in the enter- tainment field. Finely made, good paper, clear print and each book has an attractive individual cov- er design. A Partial List DIALOGUES All Sorts of Dialogues. Selected, fine for older pupils. Catchy Comic Dialogues. Very clever; for young people. Children's Comic Dialogues. From six to eleven years of age. Country Scheol Dialogues. Brand new, original. Dialogues for District Schools. For country schools. Dialogues from Dickens. Thirteen selections. Friday Afternoon Dialogues. Over 60,000 copies sold. From Tots to Teens. Dialogues and recitations. Humorous Homespun Dialogues. For older ones. Little People's Plays. From 7 to 13 years of age. Lively Dialogues. For all ages; mostly humorous. Merry Little Dialogues. Thirty-eight original selections. When the Lessons are Over. Dialogues, drills, plays. Wide Awake Dialogues. Original successful. SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES Choice Pieces for Little People. A child's speaker. The Comic Entertainer. Recitations, monologues, dialogues. Dialect Readings. Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. The Favorite Speaker. Choice prose and poetry. The Friday Afternoon Speaker. For pupils of all ages. Humorous Monologues. Particularly for ladies. Monologues for Young Folks. Clever, humorous, original. 016 103 731 n DRILLS The Best Drill Book. Very popular drills and marches. The Favorite Book of Drills. Drills that sparkle with originality. Little Plays With Drills. For children from 6 to 11 years. The Surprise Drill Book. Fresh, novel, drills and marches. SPECIALTIES The Boys' Entertainer. Monologues, dialogues, drills. Children's Party Book. Invitations, decorations, games. The Christmas Entertainer. Novel and diversified. The Days We Celebrate. Entertainments for all the holidays. Good Things for Christmas. Recitations, dialogues, drills. Good Things for Sunday Schools. Dialogues, exercises, recitations. Good Things for Thanksgiving. A gem of a book. Good Things for Washington and Lincoln Birthdays. Little Folks' Budget. Easy pieces to speak, songfs. One Hundred Entertainments. New parlor diversions, socials. Patriotic Celebrations. Great variety of material. Pictured Readings and Tableaux. Entirely original features. Pranks and Pastimes. Parlor games for children. Shadow Pictures, Pantomlme«> Charades, and how to prepare. Tableaux and Scenic Readings. New and novel; for all ages. Twinkling Fingers and Sway- ing Figures. For little tots. Yuletide Entertainments; A choice Christmas collection. MINSTRELS, JOKES The Black-Face Joker. Minstrels' and end men's gags. A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. Monologues, stump speeches, etc. Laughland,vla the Ha-Ha Route. A merry trip for fun tourists. Negro Minstrels. All about the business. The New Jolly Jester. Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. Laree Illustrated Catalogue Free T.S.DENISON & COMPANY,Publisher$.623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago