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 |LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 
 
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 I UNITED STATES OP AMERICA. 
 
EDUCATION OF CHILDREN, 
 
 WHlLt; DNDER THE CARE OF 
 
 PARENTS OR GUARDIANS 
 
 ' JOHN HALL, 
 
 PRINCIPAL OF THE ELLINGTON SCHOOL. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 PUBLISHED BY JOHN P. HAVEN, 
 
 148 NASSAU STREET. 
 
 ia35. 
 

 Entered according to the act of Congress, in the year 1835, by 
 
 JOHxN P. HAVEN, 
 
 In the Clerk's office of the District Court of the Southern District of 
 New Yorlc. 
 
 WM. VAN NORDKM, PRINT., Ill NASSAU ST. 
 
RECOMMENDATION. 
 
 I HAVE had an opportunity of examining, in 
 part, a wotk of Mr. John Hall, on the educa- 
 tion of youth. From this examination, and 
 from my long acquaintance with Mr. Hall, and 
 my knowledge of his practical good sense as 
 the head of a numerous family, I should, as a 
 father, greatly desire to have a copy of his 
 work for my own personal benefit, and I have 
 every reason to believe that its merits would be 
 fully appreciated by an intelligent public. 
 
 T. H. Gallaudet. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 PAGK 
 
 Introductory Remarks, 9 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Native dispositions of children too much overlooked — 
 not properly checked. — Partiality of parents, and its 
 effects 13 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Personal neglect of parents in conducting- the education 
 of their children — entrusted too much to others — 
 commitment of it to mothers 27 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Government of children. — Relaxation in discipline- 
 views entertained respecting" it. — Coercion.— Apolo- 
 gies for misbehaviour, — IneflBciency of parental g-o- 
 vernment in many cases. — Penalties for misconduct 
 considered. — Use of the rod — different views concern- 
 ing it. — At what age should discipline commence 7 — 
 Opinions and practice of some pious parents. — Exam- 
 ples of Eli and Abraham compared .... 50 
 
CONTENT 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Style of Intercourse between parents and children. — 
 General remarks. — Examples 94 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Unwillingness of parents to have the faults of their 
 children mentioned by other people — why unreaeon- 
 able.— Taking" the part of children against their teach- 
 ers. — Treatment of friends and neighbors who dis- 
 close the faults of children 109 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Parental vigilance. — Indiscriminate yielding to child- 
 ren's requests. — Allowance of spending-money — and 
 other means of self-indulgence. — Withholding of 
 restraints. — Ignorance of parents as to the places 
 which their children frequent— their companions — 
 their unseasonable hours — their employments. — Im- 
 portance of harmony between both parents. — Direct 
 permission of children to be from home in the night 
 season. — Practices in country villages . . . 126 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Choice of schools, — Course frequently pursued in select- 
 ing one. — What are proper Inquiries to be made re- 
 specting schools. — Parental conduct towards children 
 when at school. — Representations of the likes and dis- 
 likes of the latter— how to be received. — Siding with 
 the child against the teacher — directly — and indi- 
 rectly. — Selection of proper situations for business — 
 things to be regarded 153 
 
CONTENTS. vii 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Containing- general observations. — Early condition of 
 those now in middle life, and possessed of property 
 and reputation. — Condition, at this period, of those 
 whose parents were wealthy. — Causes of the diflferent 
 results. — Danger of departing from the republican 
 simplicity of our fathers. — Right education of our 
 youth connected with the future welfare of the coun- 
 try • . 178 
 
INTRODUCTORY REMARKS. 
 
 The want of success in the education of 
 youth, so that many of them become, in the end, 
 vicious, or at best useless characters, is a sub- 
 ject of frequent remark, and of deep regret. 
 How often are the fondest hopes and tenderest 
 affections of parents frustrated by those very 
 children on whom they had doted as the pro- 
 moters of their greatest earthly comforts, and 
 as the props of their declining years. It is not 
 the children alone of parents in humble life, nor 
 of those who are reckless or profligate ; but of 
 the most respectable, wealthy, and even pious, 
 who give occasion for such regrets, and spread 
 a gloom over those domestic circles which 
 
10 INTRODUCTORY REMARKS. 
 
 they ought to have cheered and blessed. An 
 inquiry, then, into the causes of this evil, so 
 generally acknowledged and lamented, cannot 
 be inopportune, even if it prove unsuccessful. 
 
 Most treatises on the education of children, 
 point out courses to be pursued rather than to 
 be avoided ; desirable objects to be aimed at, 
 rather than disagreeable ones to be shunned. 
 They recommend what is pleasant in the pro- 
 cess of training them up for future usefulness, 
 and refer but little to what is trying or painful. 
 This process is represented as delightful, rather 
 than arduous; and we are fitted to meet the 
 realities of education, much as the reader of 
 novels is prepared to encounter the actual oc- 
 currences of life. With what reception a de- 
 parture from the more common course may 
 meet, and what favorable attention may be 
 given to a work which dwells on defects rather 
 than on excellencies, and points out the more 
 toilsome parts of duty in preference to the more 
 
INTRODUCTORY REMARKS. U 
 
 pleasurable, is far from being certain. Present 
 gratification, rather than ultimate benefit, is that 
 which secures to most books the honor of being 
 read. With the full consciousness, however, 
 of the risk which is incurred, I shall, without 
 further prelude, endeavor to consider what are 
 some principal defects in the education of child- 
 ren, and which, in my own view at least, are to 
 be accounted as some of the causes of the evil 
 in question. It should be remarked, that the 
 education now intended, is that which is con- 
 ducted at home by parents themselves, or those 
 who supply their places; — that in which the 
 formation of character is concerned, and not that 
 which relates to the mere improvement of the 
 intellect. The very foundation of character, 
 that which will render well directed efforts for 
 the improvement of the mind and for the at- 
 tainment of those habits which are necessary 
 to constitute a man of worth, in any depart- 
 ment of life, availing, and without Avhich all 
 
12 INTRODUCTORY REMARKS. 
 
 Other acquisitions are nugatory or hurtful, is the 
 more immediate part of education which will be 
 considered. Those defects which pertain to 
 this branch of education, will, of course, claim 
 our principal attention. 
 
ON THE 
 
 EDUCATION OF CHILDREN 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Native dispositions of children too much overlooked— not properly 
 checked.— Partiality of parents, and its effects. 
 
 The first defect in the education of children 
 which I shall mention, and which may be re- 
 garded as a fundamental one, results from the 
 wrong estimate which many parents form of 
 the native character of their offspring. By na- 
 tive character, I barely intend that which is 
 natural, and common to all; exhibiting itself, 
 indeed, in different degrees, and with various 
 modifications : yet, in some important respects, 
 being one and the same, under whatsoever cir- 
 cumstances the subject of it is placed; to whom- 
 soever he may be related, and to whatsoever 
 condition in life he may be destined. It is a 
 truth incontrovertible and of momentous bear- 
 ing, that all children, without exception, pos- 
 sess tempers that are irascible; dispositions 
 2* 
 
14 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 which are selfish; propensities, of various 
 kinds, which tend to evil ; that they are impa- 
 tient of restraint ; that they dislike obedience to 
 parental authority any further than it comports 
 with their own inclinations; that they are 
 averse to regular industry ; and that they pre- 
 fer the pleasures of sense to all other gratifica- 
 tions. 
 
 The evidence of such a character, as is here 
 asserted, is conspicuous throughout the whole 
 conduct of children. It is, indeed, so apparent, 
 that I should deem it superfluous to undertake 
 to substantiate it by proof. If any may choose 
 to deny the fact, they would hardly be brought 
 to change their opinions by any array of argu- 
 ments which might be advanced; and they must 
 be allowed to make such use of their contrary 
 belief as seems to them best, let the result be as 
 it may. Yet would I advise them to re-examine 
 the grounds of their dissent. If parental par- 
 tiality will not allow them to look with a steady 
 and equal eye on the conduct of their own 
 children in all its bearings, let them attentively 
 watch the children of their neighbors; and, 
 after an impartial scrutiny of all which the 
 latter exhibit, let them say whether those afford 
 
OFCHILDREN. 15 
 
 no traces of a character which needs to be 
 modified and amended by discipline. Take 
 away the objects which please them; cross their 
 inclinations; subject them to restraint; stand in 
 the way of their gratification ; coerce them to 
 do what they dislike ; give their play-things to 
 another ; substitute toil for amusement ; and 
 then say if you discover no symptoms of re- 
 sentment ; no indications of selfishness ; no ap- 
 pearance of dispositions which need to be soft- 
 ened; of passions which need to be controlled; 
 and of antipathies which need to be overcome. 
 The great difliculty, however, is, that parents 
 who admit the general truth that children are 
 naturally wayward, and, as such, require vari- 
 ous measures of restraint and coercion, too fre- 
 quently fail in applying it to their own families. 
 They can easily enough discover marks of per- 
 verseness in their neighbors' children, and talk 
 of them and complain of them ; but cannot 
 trace the same marks in their own. In a fond 
 partiality to these objects of their afi'ection, they 
 lose sight of the darker shades in their charac- 
 ter, and dwell only on those fairer traits which 
 present themselves to view, and which perhaps 
 are exceedingly magnified by the medium 
 
16 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 through which they are discerned. How often 
 is the blindness of particular parents to the 
 faults of their children, and their extreme in- 
 credulity in this respect, the theme of neighbor- 
 hood remark. How often do those very child- 
 ren who are caressed with the most overween- 
 ing fondness at home, and treated there with 
 unmingled approbation, and flattered into the 
 belief of their own entire perfection, create dis- 
 gust wherever they go, by their exhibition of 
 fostered pride, of tempers immoderately indulged, 
 of effrontery which never was abashed, and of 
 desires which had never been chastened, " See 
 how that child behaves ;" " there is a spoiled 
 child ;" " what a pet child is that ;" is the fa- 
 miliar language of other people applied, in a 
 thousand instances, to hapless young immortals, 
 in whom their deluded parents have as yet dis- 
 covered nothing but excellence, and have seen 
 nothing which their partial fondness has judged 
 amiss. In such a state of things, how is it pos- 
 sible that these children can make useful and 
 desirable members of society? Why should 
 they not form odious characters in after life ? 
 The baser principles and motives of action 
 have been fostered in them ; they have been 
 
OFCHILDREN. 17 
 
 accustomed to live only for themselves ; and 
 have literally been subjected to no other law 
 than that of nature, which is evermore the law 
 of appetite assisted by the promptings of desire. 
 Discipline is out of the question: for there is no 
 discipline where there is no check, no restraint. 
 The experience of all ages has taught us, that 
 men are, what they are trained up to be ; that the 
 formation of the human character commences 
 in childhood. Whatever may be the sort of 
 character designed to be given to the man, the 
 common consent of all mankind has decided 
 that you must begin with the child. The veri- 
 est savage understands this principle as well as 
 the sage. In order to become a warrior, he 
 disciplines his child by privations and hardships 
 adapted to such a character ; he early instructs 
 him in the use of the bow and the tomahawk ; 
 teaches him, while young, the war-song and the 
 shout of battle ; instils into him the desire of 
 warlike distinction ; and stores his mind with 
 traditionary legends well adapted to inspire him 
 with resolution to do and to suffer whatever, in 
 their view of the subject, is necessary for the 
 attainment of the one great end. In all states 
 of society, in all ages of the world, self-denial. 
 
18 ONTHEEDUCATION 
 
 in certain respects at least, and the subjugation 
 of all those propensities wh^ch are adverse to 
 the object aimed at, have been deemed indis- 
 pensable to fit young persons to become dis- 
 tinguished in that sphere of life which common 
 opinion has sanctioned as honorable or useful. 
 The only departures from this rule are, to be 
 found among those indolent and effeminate 
 communities, where nothing active and vigor- 
 ous finds admission ; where man is a mere ani- 
 mal, and gives himself up to the sole guidance 
 of animal instinct. 
 
 Let now all the children of our own happy 
 country grow up with those habits of in- 
 dulgence and that freedom from restraint with 
 which certain parents suffer their children to 
 grow up, and how long would it be before a 
 moral desolation would come over the land? 
 How long would it be before a generation 
 would be on the stage, presenting, in frightful 
 alternations, the spectacle of slothful effeminacy, 
 and conflicting, vindictive passions, with all 
 that is disgusting in the one, and dreadful in the 
 other? A principal reason why parents who 
 do not subject their children to proper discipline, 
 iail to take seasonable alarm for the conse- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 19 
 
 quences of their neglect, is, that they look 
 around on the community at large, and find 
 that, in general, all is regular and quiet. Such 
 is the effect of a better education in other fami- 
 lies, that they do not discern the consequences 
 of its neglect in their own ; and it is no uncom- 
 mon thing for them even to take great credit to 
 themselves for a state of order and happiness 
 which they never promoted, but took the surest 
 measures to subvert. If there is an appearance of 
 regularity, and of things as they should be, in 
 the young community with which they are en- 
 circled, who should be more likely, think they 
 to themselves, to produce this effect than our 
 own dear children, in whom we have never dis- 
 covered any traits of perverseness, and who 
 are models of youthful perfection ? But alas ! 
 were all to be such models, disastrous would be 
 the consequences to the well-being of society. 
 Children whose passions have never been 
 curbed, whose frowardness has been always 
 indulged rather than checked ; who have been 
 habitually flattered into a high opinion of their 
 own perfect characters, and have had their own 
 capricious humors gratified in every thing ; are 
 not those, let their parent? ^»ceive themselves 
 
20 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 as they will, who do credit to their families or 
 constitute the hopes of the rising generation. 
 
 However important may be the truth that 
 children naturally possess dispositions, tempers, 
 and appetites, which require restraint and dis- 
 cipline, and that, consequently, they are imper- 
 fect beings, extremely prone to go astray ; and 
 however essential it may be to a right edu- 
 cation of them, that their parents should be 
 thoroughly convinced of this truth ; we never- 
 theless see, if the foregoing remarks are correct, 
 that the truth is often lost sight of through the 
 blind partiality of the latter, and that all the evils 
 are experienced which would follow from an en. 
 tire denial of this fundamental doctrine. As a 
 physician would prescribe but poorly for a pa- 
 tient whom he did not believe to be sick, no 
 matter how he came by his belief; so a parent 
 will prove a poor educator of his child whom 
 he considers to be free from fault, whatever 
 may be the process by which he came so to con- 
 sider him. His treatment, if he is consistent 
 with himself, will correspond with his opinion 
 of the case to be managed. He will not attempt 
 to eradicate what, in his belief, needs no eradi- 
 cation ; nor to suppress what requires no sup- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 21 
 
 pression ; nor to strengthen what is not weak ; 
 nor to allay what needs no abatement. What 
 he deems to be already right he will endeavor 
 to continue ; and what already pleases him he 
 will seek to retain. How important then is it 
 that we look at our children just as they are. 
 How important that we view them with an eye 
 of impartiality. If they possess faults, we must 
 discern them, or we shall never attempt their 
 removal. Our blindness to their faults will not 
 remove their reality, nor make others blind to 
 them ; nor will it lessen our accountability for 
 the faithful discharge of our duty in the trust 
 committed to us, but will rather increase our 
 culpability in case of failure. Ignorance where 
 knowledge is to be had is no plea in bar of 
 guilt, when the consequences are evil ; it may 
 even constitute the chief part of the oJEFence. 
 In a matter so important as the education of 
 children, a parent cannot be excusable for not 
 making himself acquainted with the true cha- 
 racter of the child committed to his care, so 
 that he may apply whatever treatment may be 
 necessary to his proper moral culture, any more 
 than he would be for his ignorance of the fact 
 that both himself and child belong to the human 
 3 
 
22 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 family, or than a physician would be excusable 
 for not endeavoring to understand the physical 
 structure and constitution of his patients. Mere 
 animal instinct, or, in other words, that natural 
 fondness which the Almighty has implanted in 
 all animals for their own young, is not the 
 guide which parents of our race should follow 
 in the rearing up of their nobler offspring. It 
 may, and will prompt a parent to vigorous 
 effort in the defence, protection, and support 
 of the object of his love ; and will give him a 
 patience and perseverance in its behalf, and a 
 strenuousness of zeal in the promotion of its 
 welfare, which a stranger never felt, and which 
 he cannot know. But this instinctive affection, 
 I repeat, must not be his guide. He has a law 
 from Heaven ; — and he possesses understanding, 
 reason, and a knowledge of duty. He and his 
 child are accountable beings ; have volitions 
 which they can control, and are destined to an 
 immortal existence, for-which this life is a pre- 
 paratory state, in which they are called to act 
 an important part, proportionate to the capaci- 
 ties with which they are endowed. Thus con- 
 stituted and placed, every parent should consult 
 the true character and interests of his child, 
 
OFCHILDREN. 23 
 
 subjecting his natural affections to that higher 
 law of love which seeks its gratification in pro- 
 moting the best good of its object; and in a 
 way which reason, and conscience, and an en- 
 lightened understanding approve. In man, 
 every other use of natural affection is an indi- 
 cation of weakness, rather than of wisdom ; and 
 the pdssession of it is converted into a snare, 
 rather than made subservient to genuine happi- 
 ness. 
 
 Should some one here inquire; what, then, 
 would you have me to do ? Must I see nothing 
 hut faults in my children, and must I overlook 
 all their good qualities, and all that is gratifying 
 to a parent's feelings? Must I be so fastidious 
 as to condemn every little aberration from what 
 is strictly proper, and leave nothing to their 
 own discovery and correction? — My reply is, 
 your danger does not lie in this path. The 
 risk is not that you will fail to discover, and to 
 appreciate, the better side of your children's 
 characters ; nor that you will not leave enough, 
 when you have done your best, for themselves 
 to rectify and correct. You need no urging, 
 no new inducements here. The danger is, that 
 you will overrate their excellencies, and over- 
 
24 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 look their defects ; and it is the latter, both in 
 yourselves and them, of which I have under- 
 taken to treat. Were you and they unerring 
 and perfect beings, treatises on education would 
 be useless. Where there is no danger, no 
 warning is necessary. From thirty years' ex- 
 perience in matters of education, in various 
 forms, and under various circumstances,*during 
 which I have had opportunity to notice the man- 
 agement of children in many families, and in 
 many parts of the country, I am fully persuaded 
 that an over-estimation of their good proper- 
 ties, and insensibility to their faults, lies at the 
 foundation of most of the mistreatment which 
 they receive from their parents, and is one of 
 the greatest causes of their little success. In 
 the topics which are soon to claim our atten- 
 tion, this evil is blended with every other, more 
 or less, as either giving birth to it, or aiding its 
 effects; and, although I may not specifically 
 advert to it again under any one head, a little 
 reflection on the part of the reader will con- 
 vince him of the truth of what is here advanced. 
 Let me, then, press the consideration of this 
 subject upon every parent, as one in which he 
 and his children have a deep interest. Let him 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 25 
 
 carefully examine it in all its bearings, with an 
 entire willingness, — nay, more, — with a heart- 
 felt anxiety, to arrive at the truth, and to do 
 whatever a sacred regard to it, and to his child- 
 ren's best welfare shall demand. It is not re- 
 quired of any one that he shall renounce the 
 smallest portion of his parental love and affec- 
 tion ; but it is desirable that he should keep 
 them under proper check, and employ them only 
 in the promotion of the really best interests of 
 their engrossing objects. Whoever is a parent, 
 provides for himself and his children the great- 
 est store of happiness, by training them up to 
 virtue and usefulness ; by ascertaining their 
 true characters and wants ; and by adapting his 
 treatment of them to their actual condition, un- 
 influenced by capricious feelings and moment- . 
 ary gratifications. In proportion to the intense- 
 ness of the delight which he now takes in 
 them, will be the bitterness of his grief, 
 if, through his own folly and self-indulgence, 
 they grow up with confirmed habits of 
 depravity ; with no qualifications for useful- 
 ness ; a burden on their friends and soci- 
 ety ; and with no other requital of misplaced 
 parental kindness and love, than a scornful re- 
 3* 
 
26 EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 
 
 sentment of the admonition which now comes 
 too late ; a sullen disregard to those tears 
 which their ungrateful conduct has forced from 
 a broken heart ; and an obstinate perseverance 
 in a career, of which they may possibly discern 
 the baseness ; but which they have neither the 
 sQlf-denial, nor the manhood to forsake. This 
 picture is no caricature, but is a faithful repre- 
 sentation of what, in various degrees and pro- 
 portions, too many eyes have seen, and too 
 many hearts have felt. Can it then be wise to 
 slight the timely preventives of the evil, and 
 neglect to shut up the avenues through which 
 it finds access ; or to fail of early attempting to 
 throw obstacles in the way of its approach? 
 Can it be wise to slight the manifold evidences 
 of danger which are presented to view by so 
 many living examples ; to look at the evil 
 throug'h an inverted medium, which diminishes 
 and obscures the object by throwing it to a dis- 
 tance; or to see, and acknowledge, that some 
 caution may, indeed, be proper for your neigh- 
 bor, but that you — yourself, are not the man? 
 
CHAPTER II 
 
 Personal neglect of parents in conducting the education of their chil- 
 dren. — Enirusted too much to others. — Commitment of it to mothers. 
 
 A WANT of vigilance in superintending the 
 education of children while at home, is the next 
 defect which will claim our attention. If there 
 is any business which requires unremitted care- 
 fulness in the proper conducting of it, and in 
 which negligence is attended with disastrous 
 results, it would seem to admit of little question, 
 that the one under consideration is of that 
 kind. Property lost through temporary neg- 
 lect, may be recovered ; office missed through 
 untimely inaction, may be yet obtained ; and 
 various objects of pursuit, which, though greed- 
 ily coveted, are lost by the neglect of present 
 opportunities, may still be possessed at some 
 future day ; but the foundation of character, 
 the constituent elements of good behavior, and 
 of useful manhood, if not formed and substan- 
 tially laid in the season of childhood and youth, 
 
28 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 are not, with scarcely an exception, formed and 
 laid at all ; — the opportunity of doing it has 
 passed by, and gone forever. On this point 
 there is no mistake, and can be none. Here, at 
 least, I may take strong ground, and fearlessly 
 challenge a dissent from any portion of the 
 adult community. It is notorious, indeed, that 
 many parents make great allowances for the 
 faults of their children when quite young, and 
 rely upon time, and the approaching good sense 
 of the latter to cure the evil, at some unknown, 
 future day ; but none, it is believed, extend this 
 period of hope, and of cure, beyond their arri- 
 val at complete maturity. If no good founda- 
 tion be laid previous to this time, there is no 
 pretence that it can be reasonably expected 
 afterwards. 
 
 Plain, however, as the foregoing truth may 
 be, there are parents who seem to lose sight of 
 it entirely, and to give less attention to the edu- 
 cation of their children, in that period of life 
 when attention to it would do them any good, 
 than they devote to almost every other object 
 of pursuit. There are those who will sacrifice 
 the future well-being of their offspring to the 
 love of present ease, or of pleasure. To them 
 
OFCHILDREN. 29 
 
 the care of their children is a trouble, a burden, 
 which they are unwilling to take upon them- 
 selves, and which they seek to devolve upon 
 others. If poor, they abandon their children to 
 their own inclination ; allow them to wander 
 about in idleness ; and neglect to provide for 
 them some suitable occupation, by which they 
 might be kept from present mischief, and be 
 making provision for future usefulness, and hap- 
 piness. If able in reality, or in imagination, to 
 meet the expense, their children are turned over 
 to the care of others, who are strangers to pa- 
 rental feelings, and who have but feeble appre- 
 hensions of the responsibility which is thus 
 transferred to them. These substitutes of vari- 
 ous names, may be faithful, or they may not be. 
 If they prove to be of the latter description, 
 who can compute the evil which must ensue 
 from the unfaithful discharge of such a trust? 
 Even if they prove to be faithful, they may be 
 wholly incompetent to their work; and then the 
 evil will be scarcely diminished. Yet allow 
 them their full share of competence and fidelity, 
 they can never have a parent's solicitude, a 
 parent's love, a parent's patience, nor a parent's 
 authority. The parent himself is left in igno- 
 
30 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 ranee of much which he ought to know — it 
 may be, of what he is unwilling to know. His 
 child, perhaps, is a very different being from 
 what he imagines ; is forming habits of which 
 he has no suspicion ; encountering dangers of 
 which he is not aware ; acquiring principles at 
 which he would shudder ; and is on a career of 
 ruin of which he never dreamed. All this, too, 
 a parentis vigilance, affection, and authority, 
 might have checked and prevented, when a 
 stranger's interference, however well aimed and 
 intended, could only be unavailing ; and thus 
 is the object of such fond affection, and of so 
 many hopes ; a being capable of so much hap- 
 piness ; a young immortal fitted to adorn and to 
 bless society, sacrificed to his parents' love of 
 ease and pleasure — to their unwillingness to 
 encounter the little trouble which might have 
 prevented all this loss, and which natural instinct 
 would have prompted them to take, had it not 
 been obliterated by artificial aids, or overcome 
 by the undue preponderance of other gratifica- 
 tions. 
 
 Of that species of neglect to which I have 
 just adverted, there are various degrees. There 
 are gradations of it, from the entire abandon- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 31 
 
 merit of children to the direction and control 
 of others, down to a slight departure, only, from 
 what strict propriety would require. But the 
 effect is usually proportionate to its cause. The 
 evil of a smaller degree of remissness in attend- 
 ing to the education of children, may not equal 
 a greater degree of it ; still, its effects are not 
 doubtful. If the constant, unremitted, care and 
 vigilance of the parent is not too much to be 
 given to the proper education of his children 
 in order to secure their best interest, then any 
 less degree of the same, is too little ; and in a 
 case of such importance, why should not all 
 be done which can be? — But after all, the con- 
 sequences of neglect, however real, are not 
 always in exact proportion to the degree of it, 
 but oftentimes much exceed it. A few in- 
 stances, merely, of inattention, may have been 
 sufficient to expose a child to irrecoverable 
 ruin, as effectually as a uniform course of it 
 might have done. Nay, more, a single act of 
 omission in this respect, on the part of the 
 parents, may have been the occasion of intro- 
 ducing their child to temptations which he 
 never afterward found strength to resist, and of 
 introducing him to companions who finally 
 
32 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 allured him to ruin. It is a rule of general 
 application, that wherever vigilance is required 
 at all, it is required to be uniform. A sentinel 
 is stationed on his watch to avoid surprise ; if 
 he falls asleep, or is otherwise remiss, he puts 
 every thing to hazard. He may never sleep 
 but once, but that once may be as though he 
 had slept forever. It was then when the ene- 
 my came, and the unguarded place was carried 
 by surprise. Such, and many other considera- 
 tions, should warn parents against neglecting 
 the interests of their children, from an aversion 
 to the trouble which it may cost them to do 
 their duty in this respect, or from a love of indo- 
 lence, or from the false expectation of greater 
 pleasure in a daily round of giving and receiv- 
 ing visits, in frequenting places of fashionable 
 resort, in giving way to detrimental indulgences, 
 or in the pursuit of any object which diverts 
 their minds, or their hearts, from the faithful 
 discharge of that trust which God has committed 
 to them. 
 
 The parents to whom I have just alluded, can 
 have little apology to make for their neglect, 
 and are entitled to little commiseration, on their 
 own account, for the evils which they incur. 
 
OFCHILDREN. 33 
 
 Their conduct is wholly voluntary, and, whether 
 judged by reason or by revelation, is of a censur- 
 able character. But there is a different class 
 of individuals, whose situation is such as entitles 
 their apologies to respectful consideration ; and 
 whose misfortunes derived from the misbehavior 
 of their children, demand our sympathy. I refer 
 to those whose attention is so much engrossed 
 by business concerns, as to leave them little 
 opportunity to superintend, as they otherwise 
 would, the education of their children. Men 
 engaged in extensive mercantile pursuits, in 
 professional business, and who occupy high 
 official stations, have little comparative leisure 
 for the due administration of their family con- 
 cerns. The performance of that duty is, at least, 
 exposed to great interruptions, and attended with 
 much irregularity. Their views in regard to 
 the management of their children may be cor- 
 rect, and their anxiety for their welfare suffi- 
 ciently intense ; but these views, and this anx- 
 iety, are unavailing, because the never-ceasing 
 avocations of life leave no room for any thing 
 besides. The children are consigned to the 
 care of other guardians than those appointed 
 by nature, while their parents are held in igno- 
 4 
 
34 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 ranee of their characters, their wants, and 
 their prospects. A gentleman of great distinc- 
 tion, not now living, who had been for many- 
 years a leading member of Congress, once said 
 to an instructer who, through fear of giving 
 offence, or of not being readily believed, had 
 been telling him with some hesitation of man- 
 ner, certain defects in the character of his son, 
 then under the care of the latter ; " I wish you 
 to tell me frankly all which you know in rela- 
 tion to my son, for you are better acquainted 
 with him than I am, and I place entire confi- 
 dence in your relation. I have been for many 
 years so much from home, that I feel myself to be 
 almost a stranger to my family, and I have re- 
 signed my place in Congress, that I may be- 
 come acquainted with my children, and attend 
 to their education."* How many parents are, 
 and have been, similarly situated in regard to 
 their families, from various causes, though all 
 
 * This g-entleman retired from Congress, to the great 
 regret of his friends, at a time when his services there were 
 considered to be almost indispensable. The true reason of his 
 retiring was as stated above, although it was never assigned 
 to the public. It should be added, that his family had no 
 occasion to regret this measure. 
 
OFCHILDREN. 35 
 
 may not be equally frank and honest-hearted 
 in acknowledging the truth, or equally prompt 
 to forego the pleasure of popularity, or the 
 love of gain, to secure the more quiet joys of 
 domestic life, and the satisfaction of training 
 up their children for future usefulness. — But to 
 whatever apologies neglects of this kind may 
 be entitled, the consequences of them are not 
 less serious than if they resulted from more 
 exceptionable causes. Some allowances may, 
 indeed, be made on the score of a better exam- 
 ple set before the children; but the general 
 effect, in both cases, must be nearly the same. 
 Neglect of education, come how it will, is of 
 evil tendency ; and the truth of this position is 
 amply attested, both by theory and experience. 
 After all that may be said in excuse for those 
 parents whom business, in various forms, di- 
 verts from the personal management of their 
 children, and however liberal we may be in 
 extending our sympathies to them, it may ne- 
 vertheless admit of some question whether 
 they themselves, or some of them at least, are 
 not more ready to claim justification than the 
 actual state of facts, if attentively regarded, 
 would really warrant. Duty would seem to 
 
36 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 demand that every parent should make it a se- 
 rious inquiry how far he is authorized by the 
 law of love to his offspring and his family, 
 to engage in such an amount of business, of 
 what kind soever, as to banish him from the 
 bosom of a family of which he has voluntarily 
 made himself the head, to say nothing of that 
 relation as constituted by Heaven ; as to keep 
 him ignorant of concerns which no one else 
 should know so well ; and as to abandon, to 
 the care of others, those whom nature and 
 affection have taught to seek in him a guardian 
 and guide. Great must be the emolument 
 which business creates, and ample the honor 
 which office bestows, to compensate for the 
 ruin of a child, whose welfare has been sacri- 
 ficed to the pursuit of these objects. Most 
 persons engaged in business will say that, on 
 their children's account, they toil ; that for 
 them they endeavor to amass property which 
 they may afterwards enjoy. The man in 
 office will perhaps say, that he derives his 
 chief happiness from the consideration that he 
 is shedding lustre upon his family, and intro- 
 ducing his children to an honorable notice 
 from the world. But what estate is so large 
 
OFCHILDREN. 37 
 
 that a profligate son will not soon squander it 
 away? What lustre can the highest official 
 station give, which an abandoned child will not 
 quickly tarnish ? Of what avail is it to acquire 
 property for one who neither knows its value, 
 nor how to preserve it? Or of what use is it 
 to endeavor to dignify one whose character is 
 essentially base ? The man who has arrived 
 at opulence, or has acquired but a moderate 
 fortune, knows full well that he owes his suc- 
 cess to a course of patient and persevering in- 
 dustry, united with prudence and economy. 
 He knows that without them, he must have 
 been poor ; and he will readily accede to the 
 truth of a common remark, that property is 
 more easily acquired, than kept. Yet he is 
 careless of forming in his children those habits 
 which were indispensable to his own prosper- 
 ity, and of imbuing their minds with those 
 principles of economy which he admits to be 
 absolutely necessary to their long enjoyment 
 of the wealth which he has so diligently labor- 
 ed to accumulate. Strange, but most true it is, 
 that men should so forget the principles and 
 the process of their own conduct, sanctioned 
 by their own successful experience, and ac- 
 4* 
 
38 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 knowledged by themselves to have been abso- 
 lutely essential to their own prosperity, when 
 they came to be parents, and to sustain the re- 
 sponsibility of educating those other parts of 
 themselves — their children. Would it not be 
 well for parents sometimes to reflect, whether 
 it would not be better for their families to be a 
 little less wealthy, if, in consequence of it, their 
 children might be rendered more capable of 
 using what they did possess to better advan- 
 tage ? Suppose that a legal practitioner should 
 annually have some fewer cases in his docket ; 
 a physician should attend to somewhat fewer 
 patients ; a placeman should not continue quite 
 so long in office, or be content to hold some- 
 what fewer posts ; a merchant should be con- 
 tent with a sphere of business somewhat more 
 contracted ; the manufacturer should put some 
 fewer hundred spindles into operation ; and the 
 speculator should lose now and then a bargain ; 
 might not each, in many instances, be compen- 
 sated an hundred fold in the benefit done to his 
 children by his own personal superintendence 
 of their early education — by forming in them 
 the love and practice of order, obedience, mo- 
 rality, temperance, and economy? Mere eco- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 39 
 
 nomy, on their own part, and the acquisition of 
 "riches that will" not "take to themselves 
 wings and fly away," I have no doubt would 
 be much oftener promoted, than is commonly 
 imagined, by such a procedure. I am acquaint- 
 ed with facts on this subject very much to the 
 point, and which would speak a powerful lan- 
 guage to those who could receive it. Multi- 
 tudes of parents have become converts to the 
 opinion here intimated, after experiencing the 
 fruits of a contrary course, and when conver- 
 sion came too late to prevent the mischiefs 
 already realized. Why cannot men be wise in 
 season, where such interests are at stake, and 
 where principles and facts of acknowledged 
 authority unite their testimony in behalf of the 
 truth? — Much more could be said on this 
 branch of the general subject, but my limits 
 forbid it. Sufficient hints have been given to 
 elicit inquiry, and to invite reflection ; and it is 
 hoped that all whose circumstances in life place 
 them within the range of these remarks, will 
 give them the attention which they shall seem 
 to deserve. 
 
 Some one may here say, that he is well aware 
 that the urgent demands of business have pre- 
 
40 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 vented him from bestowing much attention to 
 the education of his sons ; but then he has felt 
 quite easy on this head, for they have an excel- 
 lent mother, who devotes the greatest part of 
 her time to the formation of their characters, 
 and is fully competent to the task. Many 
 fathers, beyond doubt, have rested satisfied 
 with a similar persuasion, and supposed that 
 in confiding their sons to maternal guidance, 
 they had done all which was necessary in the 
 case. Waving, however, all queries as to the 
 benevolence and kindness of throwing all the 
 burden of educating his sons on their " excel- 
 lent mother," I must be allowed to call in ques- 
 tion the full propriety of this measure. Far, 
 very far, is it from my wish to undervalue, or 
 disesteem a mother's importance in the educa- 
 tion of her children. To her daughters, in 
 every period of their minority, her value is in- 
 estimable ; and in their early childhood, scarce- 
 ly less is her value to her sons. Thus far, let 
 all the importance be given in her station in the 
 family, which the most ardent encomiast of her 
 worth can desire. Let us go still further, and 
 appreciate the influence of her example, of her 
 precepts, and her counsel on the character of 
 
F C II I L D R E N . 41 
 
 her sons as they approach to manhood, in 
 strains of admiring eulogy ; there is still a 
 point at which I must stop, and assert the 
 value of a father. In the ordinances of Pro- 
 vidence, there is nothing exclusive, nothing 
 superfluous. One of these ordinances is, that 
 father and mother shall jointly constitute the 
 parental relation ; and that each shall have ap- 
 propriate duties to perform. Neither of the 
 parties can ever be a complete substitute for 
 the other. Yet, if I am not mistaken, this or- 
 dinance of Heaven is, at the present day, some- 
 vi^hat overlooked. It has, to some extent, be- 
 come fashionable — and what is it that does not 
 have its fashions? — to eulogize a mother's im- 
 portance in the work of education, at the ex- 
 pense of the father's. The latter, at least, 
 seems to be lost sight of in the general mass of 
 well meant encomiums passed on the female 
 sex, and especially on the pre-eminent value of 
 the maternal relation, in the current of popular 
 treatises on this subject which almost daily 
 issue from the press, and in the promiscuous 
 conversations upon it which are every where 
 heard.* The paramount influence of the mo- 
 
 * A very respectable, well informed, and pious lady, who 
 was left a widow with several daughters, and an only son, 
 
42 ONTHEEDUCATION 
 
 ther, in some instances, is made almost an article 
 of religious faith; and shall I, can I, be pardoned, 
 if I add, that there seems to be a sort of reli- 
 gious gallantry on this point ; one which claims 
 recognizance, under no dubious penalties ? 
 
 All this comes in aid of the father's readiness 
 to excuse himself for yielding up the manage- 
 ment of his children to the superior tact and 
 competence of their own mother, and helps to 
 render him excused. Still I must maintain, at 
 some hazard perhaps, that there is a time, in 
 
 under her care, once said to an acquaintance of hers that, 
 irreparable as was the loss of her husband to herself and to 
 her children, yet she considered that the loss would have 
 been more injurious to her son, had she been taken away in- 
 stead of the father. This she said, not from any under-esti- 
 mate of her husband, for he was highly valued and lamented 
 by her, was pious, and had been liberally educated, but in all 
 singleness of heart, and with the full conviction of the gene- 
 ral truth, that a mother is of more importance to a son, dur- 
 ing every period of his minority, than a father. 'J'his proposi- 
 tion she, in fact, defended with immediate allusion to her 
 own son, then fifteen years of age, and about to enter a situ- 
 ation respecting which a father's counsel and direction would 
 once have been thought needful. It should be added, that 
 this son seemed in a peculiar manner to require a father's 
 authority and control, provided such authority and control 
 are of any value. — This is given as one case in point. — How 
 many other such cases may there be 1 
 
OFCHILDREN. 43 
 
 the minority of boys, when a father's counsels, 
 wisdom, and firmness, and a father's authority, 
 are demanded. Boys grow restive under ma- 
 ternal restraint, at an earlier age than is gene- 
 rally believed. They consider it humiliating to 
 submit to female authority. In her presence 
 they may treat her with apparent deference, 
 but they have many mental reservations all the 
 time ; many inward purposes and secret plans, 
 of which she is unconscious. In her absence, 
 these purposes and plans are carried into effect 
 in a thousand ways which a mother's delicacy 
 cannot examine, nor her sagacity penetrate. 
 Her daughters may be patterns of submission 
 and obedience to her will ; but her sons will re- 
 member that they are boys, and that their 
 mother is a woman ; and they will deem it un- 
 masculine to be entirely subject to female con- 
 trol. They will consider it manly to break 
 through such restraints, and assert the honor of 
 their sex. If such thoughts and feelings do not 
 spring up spontaneously within them, there are 
 never wanting other boys to bring these things 
 to their remembrance. This is no fictitious re- 
 presentation. I have boys now in my eye who 
 manifest all these thoughts and feelings, while 
 
44 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 their mothers are unconscious of the truth, and 
 whom no argumentation, in all probability, 
 could persuade of its existence. Boys easily 
 learn that there is no readier way of accomplish- 
 ing their purposes of being men, than to keep 
 their mothers in quiet security ; while in their 
 presence, they will condescend to reciprocate 
 any amount of caresses and endearments, and 
 to manifest any degree of orderly, and, some- 
 times, of even devout behaviour, provided, in 
 their absence, they can pursue their own way 
 without more inquiry or molestation. How 
 often have I most earnestly wished, and how 
 often have I known others as earnestly wish, 
 that mothers might be fully apprized of the real 
 situation and conduct of their sons ; and how 
 often have I known the plainest hints and inti- 
 mations of the truth, and even the direct ex- 
 posure of it, disregarded. " My son has always 
 appeared so kind, and affectionate, and so ready 
 to comply with all my wishes whenever he has 
 been with me, I am compelled to believe that 
 there must be some mistake in this matter; nay 
 more, I have taken pains to acquaint him with 
 what I have heard, without letting him know 
 how I heard, and he assures me that things are 
 
OF CHILDREN. 45 
 
 misrepresented, and wonders how I should think 
 that he would do thus and so, and grieve and af- 
 flict his mother. Boys, you know, are exposed to 
 have their enemies, and it is very possible that 
 my son has his. Besides, he appears so sin- 
 cere, and so willing to converse with me on the 
 subject, that I cannot help giving credit to what 
 he says." Such is substantially the language 
 which the attempts of friends to give informa- 
 tion to mothers respecting their sons, too often 
 elicit. 
 
 Now that fathers always conduct with pro- 
 priety in the education of their sons, or that in 
 no cases mothers will do even better than they, 
 is not pretended. Let no disparagement what- 
 ever, I repeat, be done to the latter, and let 
 there be no over-valuation of the former. The 
 truth nevertheless is, and should be told, that 
 whenever boys arrive at that age, as they 
 always do, when they begin to consider it un- 
 manly to submit altogether to female discipline, 
 then is the time when a father's authority should 
 be known and felt. He, at least, should be re- 
 cognised as a man. There is something in a 
 father's sternness, and firm dignity, which ad- 
 mits of no substitute. He can follow his son 
 5 
 
46 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 into places where no mother would be allowed 
 to go ; can put questions to him from which she 
 would shrink ; is well acquainted with springs 
 of action of which she knows nothing ; sees 
 things in various relations to which she is blind ; 
 is intimate with many facts to which she is a 
 stranger; and possesses nerve which she is de- 
 nied. The father, too, is almost invariably less 
 incredulous on the subject of his son's failings; 
 he listens with more attentiveness to the story 
 of his faults, and is more ready to discover and 
 apply the remedy. His authority in coercing 
 obedience is vastly greater, and he is less the 
 subject of the false pity which would spare the 
 offender present pain, at the hazard of future 
 ruin. His knowledge of the world, and of 
 what is necessary to qualify a young man to 
 enter upon the stage of life advantageously, is 
 incomparably superior. If this be a correct 
 statement of the case, can it be prudent, or 
 proper, for any father to withdraw himself from 
 the care of his sons, without the most cogent 
 reasons, or some actual necessity ? What can 
 better employ his time, his talents and atten- 
 tion, than fitting his sons to be ornaments of 
 society, and to be a crown of glory to his hoary 
 
OFCHILDREN. 47 
 
 hairs ? Rarely can a man serve his country so 
 well in any other way as by presenting to it a 
 family of sons and daughters, well trained and 
 disciplined, and amply qualified to act a useful 
 and honorable part in the various stations which 
 they may be called to fill. A good name, 
 founded on real worth of character, is of more 
 value than riches ; and better is it for a young 
 man to begin the world pennyless, with this in 
 possession, than to be the owner of large 
 estates, and the inheritor of paternal fame, with 
 neither the disposition nor the ability to main- 
 tain them. There is no truer maxim than this, 
 that every man is the maker of his own fortune. 
 He cannot become wise, nor good, nor great, 
 by proxy : and the earlier he is made to believe, 
 and act upon this truth, the better. Let no pa- 
 rent, then, suppose that his own children are 
 exemptions from the common lot of humanity ; 
 but if he will so consider them, there should.be 
 no wonder if he meets with disappointment. 
 
 When children are deprived of the guidance 
 of one, or both, of their parents by an act of 
 Divine Providence, although the bereavement 
 be great, and severe, yet the hand which afl^licts 
 has palliatives to bestow, and commonly miti- 
 
48 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 gates the evil by dispensations of mercy, such 
 as becomes infinite wisdom to provide, and infi- 
 nite goodness to confer. In place of these na- 
 tural guides and helps, other assistants are usu- 
 ally raised up ; new friends appear, or old ones 
 are made more useful ; temptations are remov- 
 ed, or their force abated ; new sympathies are 
 excited in behalf of the sufferer ; and in a thou- 
 sand ways it is made apparent, that He who 
 permits not a sparrow to fall without his notice, 
 will care for those little ones whose welfare he 
 commits to other hands, but whom he has never 
 deserted. Not so, however, are we authorized 
 to expect an alleviation of the ills which our 
 own folly, or neglect, has brought upon us. 
 The privations and evils which we voluntarily 
 and unnecessarily procure to ourselves, we shall 
 be left to bear. We are neither disposed, nor 
 should we be permitted, if we were, so much as 
 to ask deliverance from evils of our own volun- 
 tary procurement. The dying parent may, 
 with strong hope and confidence, commend his 
 tender orphans to the safe keeping of their 
 Heavenly Father, and may take his flight into 
 far distant regions, serene, and happy in the be- 
 lief that He, who kindly and safely bears him- 
 
OFCHILDRKN. 49 
 
 self away, will make these beloved ones the ob- 
 jects of his care. But he who voluntarily, and 
 without sufficient cause, and in the full vigor of 
 life, abandons his children to their own way, or 
 places them within reach of temptations, or neg- 
 lects any part of his parental duties towards 
 them, must not expect the same divine assist- 
 ance to keep them back from evil, and bear 
 them through the season of childhood unhurt. 
 He has made himself answerable for the conse- 
 quences which may follow, however painful 
 they may be, and, in the retrospect of his do- 
 ings, finds himself destitute of the feeble conso- 
 lation, that he is suffering evils which he could 
 not avoid. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 Government of Children. — Relaxation in discipline — views enter- 
 tained respecting it.— Coercion. — Apologies for misbehaviour. 
 Inefficiency of parental government in many cases.— Penalties for 
 misconduct considered.— Use of the rod— different views concern- 
 ing it.— At what age should discipline commence 1— Opinions and 
 practice of some pious parents. — Examples of Eli and Abraham 
 compared. 
 
 Unless I am much deceived, there has been, 
 for a considerable length of time past, a gradual 
 relaxation in what is properly called family- 
 government, or discipline. For the last twenty- 
 five years, much has been said and published, 
 in various forms, on the subject of education. 
 Many projects have been started, many schemes 
 devised, and much money expended, to render 
 the whole business of education more perfect. 
 That these efforts have thrown considerable 
 light on the general subject, and that they have 
 done much good by the inquiries which they 
 have elicited, and by many practical results 
 which have followed, cannot be denied. But 
 that as much good has resulted from them as 
 
EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 51 
 
 some appear to imagine, and that no errors 
 have been propagated in the dissemination of 
 truths, I cannot readily concede. Theories are 
 neither to be rejected nor received, merely be- 
 cause they are new. They must be submitted 
 to examination, and stand or fall as truth and 
 reason shall determine. 
 
 Among other claims to improvement during 
 this period of time, it has been more than insi- 
 nuated that the family discipline of our fore- 
 fathers WSLS too severe, and that both reason and 
 nature demand a gentler regimen, and a milder 
 treatment. It is always easier to descend, than 
 to climb ; and that which comes to us under the 
 guise of gentleness, finds us more attentive au- 
 ditors, than what is presented under a more 
 rugged aspect. Hence the transition was easy 
 from the rigid exactness of our fathers who 
 lived in the eighteenth century, to the laxer 
 views which characterize their descendants of 
 the nineteenth. I shall not institute a compari- 
 son between the opinions on this subject which 
 have been respectively entertained by the two 
 parties ; although I must be allowed to say, in 
 consideration of the sweeping remarks which 
 are sometimes thrown out in condemnation of 
 
52 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 the former, that it seems mysterious how a sys- 
 tem of education, which was entirely and radi- 
 cally bad, should have trained a generation to 
 act, on the stage of life, so glorious a part as 
 that which our fathers acted through their revo- 
 lutionary struggle with the mother country, and 
 in the years which immediately succeeded. 
 Should we of the present day, and our children 
 with us, do better or more nobly than they, 
 with all the refinements and improvements of 
 which we boast ? 
 
 The opinion is extensively adopted at the 
 present day, that coercive measures to secure 
 obedience on the part of children, if adopted at 
 all, should be deferred until their minds shall 
 be sufficiently matured to understand fully the 
 nature and intendment of discipline. It may be 
 admitted, in the gross, that at some future time, 
 which possibly will never arrive, some degree 
 of coercion may be used with propriety. At pre- 
 sent, however, " the child is too young ; he is too 
 feeble, too delicate, too sensitive, to meet with se- 
 verity. It would make him too nervous, too stu- 
 pid, too timid ; and what is worse, it would make 
 him afraid of his parents, and so he would never 
 love them." Let him be ever so peevish, petu- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 53 
 
 lant, waspish, and unmanageable, there is some 
 excuse for it all. •' The darling child has just 
 waked up ; has slept too little, or has slept too 
 long ; has been suffering from cold, or from 
 heat; is believed to be unwell, for his face is 
 unusually flushed, and he has acted just in this 
 manner for several days ; he is afraid, or dis- 
 likes, to see strangers : his little sister just now 
 got away his playthings, or, what is equally to 
 the purpose, he wants hers ; he was never 
 known to act so bad before ;" while the fond 
 expressions of the parent and the looks of all 
 present clearly intimate the hope, though for 
 different reasons, that he never will again. The 
 child, at length, outlives the season for this kind 
 of excuses, but new ones are at hand. He be- 
 comes forward, pert, impudent, and saucy. 
 "These are indications of smartness, and of 
 talent; they may be carried a little too far, but 
 discretion at that age is not to be expected, and 
 as he grows older his exuberant feelings will 
 abate." If he plays the truant, "boys, you know, 
 are apt to do so ; they are naturally indisposed 
 to regular application, but when they are old 
 enough to see its importance, they will, of their 
 own accord, apply themselves to business. 
 
54 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 Children must have their sports and amuse- 
 ments, and their own way in many things ; to 
 curb their inchnations when they are so young, 
 and to subject them to strict rules of discipline 
 would endanger their health, cause them to be 
 dumpish, and would make them appear like lit- 
 tle old men and women, just like Mr. such a 
 one's children, who look so grave, so demure, 
 and so dejected, for want of more liberty, it 
 makes my heart ache to see them. I do not 
 believe that one of them would, for the world, 
 venture across the way to see a playmate with- 
 out their father's or mother's permission. I 
 cannot be so very choice and tender of my 
 children as to keep them always at home, never 
 trusting them out of my sight. It will be seen, 
 in the end, whose boys are the smartest. The 
 other children, I know, get the best lessons at 
 school, now; but they have to study all the 
 time to do it ; and the instructor tells me that 
 he wonders how mine recite half as well as they 
 do, for their eyes are scarcely ever on their 
 books ; and he has no doubt that they might be 
 equal to any in the school, if they would. My 
 boys, it is true, are sometimes charged with be- 
 ing a little mischievous, and roguish ; but all 
 
OFCHILDREN. 55 
 
 boys are apt to be so who have wit and talents. 
 I love to see them cheerful and lively, and have 
 been amused to see their cunning, roguish 
 tricks, and sly frolics ; but I always caution 
 them not to carry their jokes too far." — If these 
 frolicksome lads should now and then get into 
 a broil with their fellows, and exchange a round 
 or two of blows, they will probably be received 
 at home with the condoling inquiry, in the first 
 place, "what naughty boys were they who hurt 
 my dear little darlings ?" To this gratifying 
 assurances will follow, that they shall never do 
 so again. Or should a sense of justice and pro- 
 priety so far prevail as to induce some inquiry 
 into the causes, and the beginning of the affair, 
 the examination will perhaps close with the 
 very grave and important injunction, "whenever 
 you get into such a quarrel in future, do you 
 always remember, my children, never to strike 
 first V At a more advanced stage, the child- 
 ren put on airs of importance, and plainly inti- 
 mate that they know how to take care of them- 
 selves, and neither wish, nor need the continual 
 inspection of others. This is pronounced to be 
 natural, and characteristic of youth ; and being 
 a mere matter of course, it should excite no 
 
56 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 concern. " They are beginning to feel like 
 young gentlemen, and these first attempts of 
 the kind, though somewhat rude, need to be en- 
 couraged rather than repressed." These young 
 gentlemen, perhaps, begin to make further es- 
 says at manly gentility ; are out from home late 
 in evenings, and finally, late at night : acquire 
 by degress the habit of profanity ; like an oc- 
 casional ride of pleasure, not precisely with 
 such companions, nor to such places, nor under 
 such circumstances, as the parents, if left to 
 themselves, would choose, but such as, never- 
 theless, "young folks are wont to be pleased 
 with ;" possibly they drink rather more than is 
 consistent with sobriety of behaviour, and ca- 
 rouse a little too hard to render them fit for 
 any profitable pursuit for a few days afterward. 
 They may do, every day, things which they 
 cautiously conceal from their parents, and may 
 have learned the genteel, and significant lan- 
 guage, so much in vogue, — " what would the old 
 man," or "the old woman," or "the old folks 
 say, if they knew what we are about ?" They 
 may have acquired the art of obtaining money 
 from their parents under feigned pretences, and 
 of spending it in disgraceful practices ; they 
 
OFCHILDREN. 57 
 
 may have become adepts in cheating them dex- 
 terously ; and may have gradually become so 
 familiar with false representations, as to lose the 
 consciousness of their turpitude. All these 
 things, and many others alike objectionable, 
 may happen, and, what is more to the purpose, 
 have happened, without any direct and effectual 
 reprehension on the part of the parents. If 
 these children absent themselves from home till 
 a late hour in the evening or night, the parents 
 wish, indeed, that they could be contented with- 
 out so doing; "but it is no worse," it will be 
 sometimes said, "than they themselves did at 
 that age ; it would be wrong never to allow 
 them to be away at unseasonable hours ; when 
 they are just beginning to feel themselves to be 
 men, it would injure their ambition to lay them 
 under too much restraint. As to profanity, we 
 never mean to allow it in our children, what- 
 ever we may do ourselves ; or, we wholly and 
 entirely disapprove of it, and disallow it in 
 every shape, and have often so informed our 
 children ; nor can we think that they practise 
 it to much extent. We shall tell our boys 
 again, that we do not permit it;" — and — the 
 boys swear on. If they take occasional jaunts 
 
5S ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 of pleasure, and attend, now and then, a mid- 
 night carousal, " young people are always fond 
 of such amusements ; it is a time of life when 
 the feelings are buoyant ; we do not approve of 
 excess in these matters, more than you do, and 
 our children are well acquainted with our views 
 on this subject. We always tell them that ex- 
 cessive indulgence is wrong, and ungentleman- 
 ly ; but, to be candid, — that they should always 
 keep themselves within the strict requirements 
 of prudence, is more than we expect, and there 
 is evermore a hazard of augmenting the evil by 
 being over-particular in measures of restraint. 
 If we trust our children from our sight at all, 
 they will sometimes fall into company such as 
 we do not like, and happen at places where we 
 should not wish them to be, and be placed in 
 circumstances which it would be well enough 
 to avoid ; but the world is full of its tempta- 
 tions, and it is better to allow our children to 
 meet with them by degrees, while we are able 
 to point out to them the consequences, and put 
 them on their guard in future, than expose them 
 to the danger of encountering these temptations 
 all at once, without experience of their number, 
 or their tendency. If they drink a little too 
 
OFCHILDREN. 59 
 
 much wine, and carouse so hard as to stupify 
 them somewhat for a succeeding day or too, 
 this is no uncommon occurrence among youths 
 of their age, who think it manly to be adven- 
 turous and are ambitious to go as far as their 
 companions. They will get the better of such 
 things when they come to reflect, like Mr. A., 
 who, we remember, once or twice got tipsey 
 when we were boys, but is now as regular a 
 man as the place affords. In regard to their 
 practising concealment, nobody would wish to 
 have all his actions inspected even by his 
 equals, and much less by his superiors ; we can 
 never consent to place spies upon the conduct 
 of our children when they are absent, especially 
 by our own permission ; and the nature of 
 things forbids that we should be constantly with 
 them. The epithets of "old man," "old wo- 
 man," "old folks," do not exactly please us, we 
 admit; perhaps our boys may sometimes use 
 this language, when they have taken some of- 
 fence, or in the way of showing off their inde- 
 pendence to their companions ; but they never 
 do it in our presence, nor would they venture 
 to do it there. — Ah well ! we are beginning to 
 grow rather older than we once were — and we 
 
60 O N T H E E D U C A T I O N 
 
 must — we suppose — make up our minds to be 
 told of it, whether we like it or not, — but we 
 shall take care, we assure you, that our child- 
 ren say no such things — to our face ! — As for 
 their obtaining money under false pretences, 
 and playing off their other deceptions, we are 
 not so easily cheated as you imagine. They 
 sometimes think that they have taken us in, but 
 we see through it all, though we do not suffer 
 them to know it. We can look as honest, and 
 as grave, as they can ; although, at times, we 
 can hardly refrain from smiling at their arch- 
 ness, and their shrewd deportment. If they lay 
 traps for us, we can lay traps, too, for them ; 
 and it is amusing to see how we can make them 
 explain away all improper intentions, when 
 they are fairly caught ; how slily they will 
 parry every charge, and what marvellous ex- 
 cuses they will invent for doing as they have. 
 By this sort of management we never fail of 
 bringing them to a sense of shame, and, in con- 
 clusion, of obtaining from them the fairest pro- 
 mises of future honesty. Such young folks are 
 oftentimes surprisingly sly, and cunning in their 
 tricks, and we have frequently remarked that 
 the brightest lads are the fullest of their pranks. 
 
O F C II I L D R E N. 61 
 
 We do not believe that our children will tell a 
 downright lie, though they have been charged 
 with doing it. There is something so gross, 
 and so depraved, in direct and deliberate false- 
 hood, that our very hearts recoil at the thought, 
 and we ought never to believe a child capable 
 of it without the strongest evidence. In the va- 
 rious examinations of our children, we could 
 never discover those marks of guilt which they 
 must have betrayed had they told a wilful lie ; 
 their countenances were too unmoved, and they 
 too pertinaciously insisted on their innocence, 
 to admit of such a conclusion. They have 
 surely been cautioned enough against every 
 error of this kind, at home, at sabbath schools, 
 and elsewhere, to know how wrong it is, and 
 how much it is opposed to our views and 
 wishes." 
 
 The whole matter of treatment and apology 
 may, in other cases, stand thus. " Our children, 
 we well know, have their faults. When these 
 are mentioned to us we fully admit them, and 
 are in no wise disappointed. We are sorry, 
 sincerely sorry, that such should be the fact. 
 They have our best desires for their welfare, 
 
 our counsels and our prayers. We have talked 
 
 6* 
 
62 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 to them again, and again ; have advised them 
 what to do, and what to shun ; have strictly en- 
 joined it upon them to read good books — to 
 have none but good companions, and to lead 
 honest and useful lives. They have much of 
 the old Adam, in them, just as all other children 
 have, and we expect that they will do a great 
 many wrong things ; but we hope to see them 
 improve, and in the end to become very wise, 
 very virtuous, and very worthy members of 
 society." 
 
 Such is an abbreviated outline of that kind of 
 treatment which very many children receive 
 from their parents, and of the apologies which 
 the latter make for them, through the various 
 stages of childhood and youth. If all these 
 things are not said and done precisely in the 
 form here stated, though it is believed that even 
 this will hardly fail of recognition, yet all these, 
 and many more of a similar character are sub- 
 stantially practised every day, and every 
 where, in our country. I appeal to the 
 whole community, for the faithfulness of the 
 representation. But the difficulty, in regard to 
 many, will not consist in their denial of the 
 facts, but in their failing to understand the 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 63 
 
 harm of them, admitting them to be true. Now 
 the harm, if I mistake not, lies here; — the pa- 
 rent, in the first place, is too easy in regard to 
 the faults of his children : he suffers his mind 
 to be too much warped by his feelings and par- 
 tialities ; hence, he either sees no faults, or 
 apologizes for them if they are seen ; or his 
 standard of proper behavior is too low ; or he 
 has never formed the resolution to bring his 
 children to entire obedience to his w^ill ; but 
 suffers them to evade it, and to carry their own 
 points at the expense of his authority. He has 
 never taken ground which he had fully deter- 
 mined to maintain ; and has vacillated between 
 a few sober conceptions of paternal and filial 
 duties on the one hand, and a mistaken feeling 
 of tenderness, united with too much compla- 
 cency in his children's erratic dispositions, and 
 too strong a confidence in their power of self- 
 recovery, on the other. In the end his hopes 
 are disappointed. His children grow up with 
 confirmed habits of self-indulgence ; with un- 
 subdued propensities to evil ; with no maturity 
 in virtue; but in prodigality, and vice, suffi- 
 ciently ripe. Even should children, thus un- 
 fortunately trained, become reformed in after 
 
64 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 life, through the mercy of Heaven, their cha- 
 racters will be less perfect, and possess a more 
 varied mixture of good and evil, than if they 
 had been early modelled by regular discipline, 
 and judicious management. The time after- 
 wards spent in the mere eradication of evil 
 habits, would have been sufficient to expand 
 and multiply better ones with the happiest suc- 
 cess, and with no admixture of the grief which 
 is occasioned by the reflection on time and ad- 
 vantages lost, on errors committed, and on 
 talents abused. 
 
 I have said that the opinion is extensively 
 prevalent at the present day, that coercive 
 measures in regard to children should be de- 
 ferred, if used at all, until their minds shall be 
 sufficiently matured to understand fully the 
 nature and intendment of such discipline. If 
 we carefully attend, however, to the theo- 
 ries which are advanced on this subject, in all 
 their bearings, we shall see that there is, in re- 
 ality, no expectation that this sufficient ma- 
 turity will ever arrive. The expectation clearly 
 is, that a child may be so managed that a resort 
 to coercion, properly so called, will never be 
 necessary. The sort of treatment which is to 
 
OFCHILDREN. 65 
 
 prevent this necessity, consists in kind and en- 
 dearing expressions ; in soothing their fretful 
 ebullitions into quietness ; in gratifying all their 
 wants, so far as it can be done, and in bringing 
 about a pacification as well as you can, where 
 it cannot be done ; in placing every thing which 
 is good and right in so pleasing an attitude be- 
 fore them that they will, as a matter of course, 
 fall in love with it ; and in causing whatever is 
 evil to appear so disgusting that it will excite 
 their abhorrence. As they grow older, appeals 
 are to be made to their understandings ; their 
 affections are to be won over to the side of vir- 
 tue by presenting it before them in alluring as- 
 pects ; their perceptions of moral excellence 
 are to be made so clear and vivid that it can 
 never be mistaken, and its worth so apparent 
 as to charm them to its embrace. The air, the 
 earth, and sea — the whole treasure-house of 
 nature — are to be laid open to their inspection; 
 and arguments and illustrations are to be thence 
 derived, to show them how much better bene- 
 volence is than malevolence ; how all the won- 
 derful things which are there contained were 
 designed as inducements to virtue, or as deter- 
 ments fron vice. If this course of proceeding 
 
66 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 should fail of entire success, and a child should 
 aftiil^ exhibit a refractory temper, and give way 
 to vicious practices, he must be treated with gen- 
 tle reproof; he must be told how much he grieves 
 his parents ; how odious it is to do wrong ; and 
 the examples of other boys and men, who 
 have conducted themselves badly, and received 
 the wages of their misdoings, must be presented 
 before him as admonitory beacons. This ap- 
 pears to be the ultimate extent of parental in- 
 terference to suppress the waywardness of their 
 children. Should this be ineffectual, no ulte- 
 rior measures seem to be provided in the im- 
 proved system of reform ; and the child is left 
 to his own cure, in the full hope that it will be 
 accomplished, at a future day, in some unknown, 
 undefinable, and merciful manner. 
 
 Were the course of treatment just alluded to 
 but a part, only, of a system of moral education, 
 it would receive no reprehension from me. 
 There is nothing in it which is not proper 
 enough in its place. On this point I am de- 
 sirous that there should be no misunderstand- 
 ing. I object to it as a whole ; as being essen- 
 tially, all that is relied on, in the treatment of 
 children, to secure their good behaviour, and to 
 
OFCHILDREN. 67 
 
 fit them for an advantageous entrance on the 
 stage of life. Nor do I assert that there may 
 not be occasional instances of children who are 
 possessed of such a happy temperament by 
 nature, and such a docility of disposition, that 
 this course may be sufficient for the attainment 
 of the object in view. But I do insist that its 
 adequacy is too much relied on, and that it is 
 founded in a misconception of the prevailing 
 characters of children, and of the fundamental 
 principles on which law, government, order, 
 and discipline depend. It presupposes a de- 
 gree of docility and pliancy in children which, 
 in general, they do not possess. It overlooks 
 that natural acerbity of temper, that obstinacy 
 of purpose, that stubbornness of will, that va- 
 grancy of desire after forbidden things, that im- 
 patience of control, and that tendency of the 
 will to be swayed by selfish motives which 
 children begin to manifest at an early age, and 
 which, if not timely checked, will eventually 
 break through the feeble barriers of restraint 
 which parents, in a season of alarm, may after- 
 ward venture to interpose. The system, or theory, 
 in question, does not proceed on the ground 
 that this impetuous current must be stopped — 
 
68 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 that obedience to parental authory must be ob- 
 tained ; but is supported by the hope that such 
 will be the result. But the true and only safe 
 ground which the parent ought to take, is, that 
 his own purposes, not those of his children, 
 shall be carried into effect ; that his commands 
 shall and must be obeyed ; that obedience to 
 his requirements is indispensable. Let him be 
 duly cautious, indeed, that all his purposes, 
 commands, and requirements are proper ; but 
 these once settled, the child should feel that 
 compliance with them is unavoidable. This is 
 the true secret, the essence of all government, 
 whether it be the government of a family, or 
 any other. Therefore, I repeat ; obedience to 
 rightful commands must be deemed and felt, by 
 those on whom they are laid, to be unavoidable, 
 — as a matter of course. Command and obedi- 
 ence stand to each other in the relation of cause 
 and effect ; and this relation should be made 
 clear, visible, and palpable. The moment it is in- 
 vested with obsurity, and uncertainty, by any 
 means whatever, the proper force of govern- 
 ment is weakened ; and as soon as this relation 
 is destroyed, the cause is as fully annihilated as 
 the effect ; in other words, in proportion as 
 
OFCHILDREN. 69 
 
 obedience to government is refused, the latter is 
 enfeebled ; and if it be entirely witheld, it is 
 annihilated. 
 
 From the manner in which multitudes of pa- 
 rents issue their orders to their children, it is 
 evident to every spectator that nothing is fur- 
 ther from their expectation than that they shall 
 be obeyed. Irresoluteness, indecision, vague- 
 ness, and a mistrust of their ability to enforce 
 what they require, are betrayed at every step, 
 and indicate too well the results which must 
 follow. Nor is it less evident that the child- 
 ren, on their part, have no expectation of ren- 
 dering obedience. The difficulty is, that there 
 is no penalty annexed to transgression ; none, 
 at least, that is adequate ; none that deters 
 from a violation of authority. It is either so 
 small as to render it contemptible ; or so re- 
 mote and uncertain, as to make it no object of 
 dread. The children, in fact, are under no law 
 whatever ; and, of course, are under no govern- 
 ment ; because a law, or that which professes 
 to be such, without penalties prescribed and 
 enforced, is really no law ; it is simply a re- 
 commendation, or an expression of advice, 
 which he who receives it is at liberty to regard, 
 
70 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 or reject, as he chooses. On this point, it 
 would seem that there could be no mistake ; 
 yet public opinion, to a great extent, gives 
 currency to this very species of lax requisi- 
 tions, and sanctions a theory which, in no other 
 case, would meet with support. 
 
 It would seem to be one of the plainest dic- 
 tates of common sense, that whatever a parent 
 enjoins on his child as essential to his welfare, 
 and proper for him to observe, the child should 
 observe and do ; and that, if he refuses compli- 
 ance, he should be made to comply. That a 
 child should be permitted to pursue any course 
 which is manifestly detrimental to him, pro- 
 vided he can be brought to pursue it, i& repug- 
 nant to every principle of benevolence, as well 
 as of reason. It is the indispensable duty of 
 the parent to insist on being obeyed, and, of the 
 child, to obey. A relinquishment of this duty 
 by either party, then, involves him in guilt 
 which it is impossible to excuse, and difficult to 
 palliate. 
 
 Here the questions will be very naturally 
 asked, if penalties are so important in the ad- 
 ministration of family government, what are 
 they ? and at what age shall the enforcement 
 
OFCHILDREN. 71 
 
 of them begin? — To enumerate the various 
 kinds of penalties to which it may be proper to 
 resort, is no very easy matter, nor is it neces- 
 sary for the illustration of my views. How- 
 ever the kinds may differ, the object aimed at is 
 one and the same. A faithful and judicious 
 parent, after having once seen and admitted the 
 propriety of resorting to them, will rarely fail 
 of adopting such as are suited to the object in 
 view. So different are the various tempera- 
 ments of children, and so different are the cir- 
 cumstances which never-ceasingly arise to give 
 new modifications to conduct, and to diversify 
 the character of offences, particular rules for the 
 treatment of these future and unknown contin- 
 gencies, will serve to embarrass rather than in- 
 struct, and to mislead rather than direct a pa- 
 rent in his course of duty. Let those leading, 
 but simple principles to which I have just ad- 
 verted, be fixed in the mind, and there is little 
 danger of any serious mistake in the selection 
 of penalties, and applying them to use. The 
 wisdom and benevolence of God are very con- 
 spicuous in the fact, that he has not made great 
 talents, nor high intellectual attainments, nor 
 an extensive acquaintance with men and with 
 
72 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 books, with rules and with systems, necessary 
 to constitute a man a good manager of his 
 children, and a successful disposer of those 
 counsels, and of those measures of discipline, 
 which effectually secure their quiet obedience 
 to his authority, and their advancement in vir* 
 tue and usefulness. In places of retirement, in 
 families whose unlettered heads are least ac- 
 quainted with those rules and motives which 
 control the actions of other men, are often found 
 exemplary instances of domestic order, and 
 filial obedience. From such families, and from 
 such early training, often arise both men and 
 women, who become future ornaments to soci- 
 ety ; while from the families of the learned, the 
 polished, and the wealthy, enjoying all the 
 means of knowledge, and affording rare advan- 
 tages for becoming eminent, often spring up 
 persons with blighted characters, occasioned by 
 the defects of early discipline. A parent who 
 has clearly resolved in his mind that the path 
 of virtue is the only path of safety for his child ; 
 that there is, in reality, no filial virtue where 
 there is no obedience to parental authority ; 
 and that this obedience must, therefore, be 
 secured ; will seldom fail to discover ways and 
 
OFCHILDREN. Ti 
 
 means of enforcing it when it is withheld, or im- 
 perfectly rendered. True decision and firm- 
 ness of character, on the part of the parent, is 
 worth volumes of rules and systems on this 
 subject. Without the former, the latter are use- 
 less ; with them, rules and penalties will come 
 unsought, and come in season, and be suited to 
 every emergency. Coercion, of the proper 
 kind, and in the appropriate measure, will be 
 suggested, and the whole business of discipline 
 be conducted conformably to nature and to 
 common sense. When I hear a parent curiously 
 inquiring what sort of penalties and expedients 
 others resort to when their children are refrac- 
 tory, I confess that a suspicion naturally arises, 
 that he has not yet settled the previous ques- 
 tion in his own mind, that any are needed at 
 all ; or, at best, that he vacillates between a 
 vague apprehension of duty, on the one hand, 
 and a disposition to evade the performance of 
 it, on the other. 
 
 There is, however, one species of discipline 
 on which I will hazard a few remarks, lest it 
 should be thought that I am willing to avoid 
 the consideration of it, or should seem to coun- 
 tenance an opinion which I do not entertain, I 
 7+ 
 
74 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 refer to the use of the rod. This, to a consider- 
 able extent, is among the proscribed penalties, 
 at the present day. Not a few totally discard 
 it, and pronounce it cruel, servile, and degrad- 
 ing. To whip a child is, in the view of many, 
 synonymous with abusing him. Appeals are 
 made to our sympathies, on this point ; and the 
 child, on whom such a penalty has been inflict- 
 ed, is treated as an object of commiseration, and 
 the parent who imposes it is considered vindic- 
 tive and hard-hearted. But let us pause a moment 
 ere we proceed too far in our vituperations and 
 our compassion, lest, after all, we be found to have 
 taken a position which, in the end, it will be ha- 
 zardous to maintain. In the first place, let facts 
 speak. Now it is a fact, that no parents are 
 more kind, more tender-hearted, more ready to 
 sympathize with their children in all their joys 
 and sufferings, than multitudes of those who im- 
 pose upon them this interdicted penalty. It is 
 a fact that no children exhibit less evidence of 
 degradation and servility, are more afl^ectionate 
 towards their parents, more prompt to render 
 them obedience, to anticipate their wants, to 
 comply with their wishes, and administer to 
 their comfort, than multitudes of those who 
 
OFCHILDREN. 75 
 
 have received this unsalutary correction. It is 
 a fact that parents who denounce the penalty in 
 question give no evidence, to others, that they 
 are more kind, more tender-hearted, more ready 
 to sympathize with their children in all their 
 joys and sufferings, than are their neighbors 
 whose theory and practice are so different. It 
 is a- fact that the children who are exempted 
 from the rod, are in no wise better governed ; 
 more ready to anticipate the wants of their 
 parents, to comply with their wishes, and to ad- 
 minister to their comfort, than are those Avho have 
 been subject to a contrary treatment. Institute 
 comparisons between different families, and 
 then impartially say, whether those children 
 who have experienced no correction appear to 
 better advantage, in any one respect, than those 
 who have. Nay more, let an appeal be made 
 to truth and fairness, for the decision of another 
 question — do not the latter, those who have re- 
 ceived timely and proper correction, appear, as 
 a general truth, to much better advantage than 
 the former? Let the decision be impartially 
 pronounced, and I fear not the result. But al- 
 lowing, for the sake of an argument, that both 
 parties stand on equal ground, the theory in 
 
76 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 question is upset. The theory is, that children, 
 without correction, behave letter than those who 
 receive it ; the admission now is, that they only 
 behave just as well; — of course nothing is 
 gained in point of good conduct. Should it be 
 replied that there is a saving of pain to the 
 child, my answer is, be it so ; but this is not the 
 main part of the controversy ; the leading point 
 in the theory is, that children are made worse 
 by the correction of the rod ; a point which 
 facts do not substantiate. — There is no occa- 
 sion, however, for the concession now made. 
 I will risk the question in the appeal already 
 taken, and court inquiry into the actual condi- 
 tion of things. The question cannot be settled 
 by theoretical suppositions, by imaginary cases, 
 nor by presumptive deductions. Nor can it be 
 settled by the citation of a few extraordinary 
 instances of random abuse, and of ill judged 
 severity in times that have gone by, or which, 
 by careful inquiry, may be here and there dis- 
 covered in more recent days. It is too trite a 
 remark that the abuse of a good thing does not 
 determine its real character, to need a repeti- 
 tion of the proofs on which it is grounded. We 
 must rely on the general tenor of facts to aid us 
 
OFCHILDREN. 77 
 
 in forming a right conclusion ; on the right use 
 of the measures which are to be tested, and not 
 on their misapplication. — As it is so often as- 
 serted that correction will sour the temper of a 
 child, and cause him to dislike his parents who 
 administer it, even to the utter alienation of his 
 affections. I must be allowed to make one 
 more appeal from these theorists, and it shall 
 be to parents themselves who have judiciously 
 applied the remedy, and to adillt children who 
 have been its subjects. Of the former I ask, have 
 you not uniformly found your children, after re- 
 ceiving correction at your hands, more docile, 
 gentle, peaceable, affectionate to yourselves and 
 to each other, — more ready to gratify you in 
 all your wishes, more kind-hearted, frank, and 
 sincere ? Have you ever found so effectual a 
 method to cure them of sullenness and morose- 
 ness ; and when they have been ill-natured, and 
 have habitually shunned your presence, have 
 you ever found a better way to bring them back, 
 and make them cheerful, fond, and happy there ? 
 Of the latter I would inquire, can you not, as 
 you call to mind the various instances of paren- 
 tal correction which you have received, testify 
 to its salutary influence on yourselves*, in the 
 
78 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 various particulars just mentioned? If these 
 questions are answered in the negative, I yield 
 to the opponents of chastisement the whole 
 matter in debate ; — if they are answered in the 
 affirmative, will they have the candor to do the 
 same ? — I have one m.oxe fact to adduce, which 
 may seem rather paradoxical to those who are 
 not familiar with the general subject. — It is no 
 uncommon occurrence that persons who are 
 most opposed to using the rod, in theory, use it 
 most, in practice. If this fact be admitted, it 
 is not incumbent on me to account for the in- 
 consistency. It can, however, be accounted 
 for, I believe, without much difficulty. The 
 persons who adopt the theory in dispute, do so 
 under the guidance of their feelings, rather than 
 of their judgment deliberately formed. Now he 
 who allows his feelings to control him in specu- 
 lation, is very liable to do the same in matters 
 of practice. The passions and feelings are 
 never the offspring of system, but act as pro- 
 vocations excite them. Hence these persons, 
 when provocations come, lose sight of their 
 theory; — and the bodies of their children ex- 
 perience the consequence in no ambiguous 
 measure. Let me not be understood as here 
 
OFCHILDREN. 79 
 
 charging all, who discard the discipline of the 
 rod, with this inconsistency ; many of them 
 practise as they teach, whatever may be the 
 correctness of their doctrine ; with regard to 
 the rest, they must vindicate the discrepancy 
 between their precepts and conduct, as well as 
 they can. 
 
 We are commanded, indeed, to be merciful^ 
 even as our Father in heaven is merciful ; but 
 it will hardly be pretended that we either should, 
 or can be, more merciful than He. Shall mor- 
 tal man be more compassionate than his Maker, 
 can with as much propriety be asked, as " shall 
 he be more just ?" Again it is written, " let not 
 the wise man glory in his wisdom." If, how- 
 ever, he chooses to glory, will his wisdom be 
 superior to that of the Omniscient ? Let us be 
 cautious how we entertain opinions which con- 
 travene those which God has given, and how 
 we condemn what he has both authorized and 
 enjoined. Solomon says, " he that spareth his 
 rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chas- 
 teneth him betimes." The wise man, it seems 
 then, did not consider the use of the rod as fur- 
 nishing evidence that a parent is wanting in 
 affection, but drew from it a very different con- 
 
80 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 elusion. Fie says again, "foolishness is bound 
 in the heart of a child ; but the rod of correc- 
 tion shall drive it far from him. — Withhold not 
 correction from the child ; for if thou beatest 
 him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt 
 beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from 
 death." So Solomon, it appears, was not so 
 much afraid of killing a child by correction, as 
 are some others. But further ; " the rod and 
 reproof give wisdom ; but a child left to him- 
 self bringeth his mother to shame." Yet there 
 are those who say, that the rod and reproof 
 cause stupidity ; and that a child left to himself 
 will bring his mother to honor. Again Solomon 
 says, " correct thy son, and he will give thee 
 rest ; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul." 
 — "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and 
 let not thy soul spare for his crying."* — In 
 many other passages in the Holy Scriptures, 
 the use of the rod is recognised as both com- 
 mon and proper, and is adduced in illustration 
 of the Divine government over the children 
 of men. I shall produce only the following. 
 Moses says, " thou shalt also consider in thy 
 
 Prov. xiii. 24.— xxii. 15.— xxiii. 13.— xxix. 15, 17.— xix. 18. 
 
OFCHILDREN. 81 
 
 heart, that as a man chasteneth his son, so the 
 Lord thy God chasteneth thee."* If such chas- 
 tening of a son, on the part of an earthly parent, 
 were not in itself proper, and worthy of commen- 
 dation, surely it would not have been cited to 
 illustrate the resemblance which the Divine 
 treatment of men bears to that of the former in 
 relation to his children. Paul is very full on 
 this point. " My son, despise not thou the chas- 
 tening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art 
 rebuked of him; for whom the Lord loveth 
 he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom 
 he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God 
 dealeth with you as with sons ; for what son 
 is he whom the father chasteneth not ? But if 
 ye be without chastisement, whereof all are 
 partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 
 Furthermore, Ave have had fathers of our flesh 
 which corrected us, and we did them reverence : 
 sha^l we not much rather be in subjection to the 
 Father of spirits, and live ?"t Here this apostle 
 considers it a token of the Lord's love to his 
 sons, that he chastens them; and leaves us, evi- 
 dently, to infer this in the same way as we should 
 
 ♦ Deut. viii. 5. t Heb. xii. 5—9. 
 
 8 
 
82 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 infer that a man loves his child, from the fact of 
 his correcting him. He even appears not to con- 
 sider it a supposable case, that a child could be 
 found who received no chastisement ; for he 
 asks, ''what son is he whom the father chasteneth 
 not f" Nor does he stop here ; to be without 
 chastisement he treats as an evidence of being 
 without parents ; • that is, of legitimate ones, 
 who would either acknowledge the relationship, 
 or discharge its duties. He thinks, too, that a 
 child who is corrected will reverence his father; 
 and seems not, with many, to suppose that such 
 correction will cause the child to dread his 
 presence, or treat him with dislike. On the 
 contrary, from the well known fact that the cor- 
 rection which we received from our earthly 
 parents caused us to reverence them, the apostle 
 derives an argument that a similar treatment of 
 ourselves from the Father of spirits ought to 
 inspire us with submissive feelings to Him in a 
 still higher degree. Nothing can be more ab- 
 surd than to suppose that inspired men should 
 thus appeal to what is wrong, and worthy of 
 denunciation, to exemplify the fitness and pro- 
 priety of the Divine government, and to induce 
 
OFCHILDREN. 83 
 
 US to acquiesce in it as it becomes dutiful 
 children. 
 
 On the question, then, of corporal punish- 
 ment I durst not dissent from a practice which 
 so many wise and good men have found to be 
 salutary : which is authorized, sanctioned, and 
 enjoined by Him who made us ; and which is 
 opposed only by arguments which are better 
 calculated to seduce our feelings and beguile 
 our imaginations, than to lead us to a right 
 understanding and faithful discharge of our duty. 
 The practice, I admit, is liable to abuse ; and 
 so is every other in which man has an agency. 
 Its impropriety, therefore, must fail of being 
 established, until it can be shown that this 
 abuse is inseparable from the thing itself; that 
 the experience of the wise and good in all ages 
 of the world has been an idle dream ; and that 
 Infinite Wisdom has committed a mistake. 
 
 The other question, at what age shall the 
 enforcement of penalties begin? — or in differ- 
 ent words, at what age shall the coercion of 
 children commence ? must be dismissed with a 
 summary answer, inasmuch as the particular 
 consideration of it does not fall within the gene- 
 ral plan of this work. It is, however, quite too 
 
84 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 common a defect in education, that the coercion 
 of children is too long deferred to be as effect- 
 ual as it might be. Experience teaches us that 
 almost every child will have at least one strug- 
 gle, one which will be distinguished above 
 every other, for mastery over his parent's au- 
 thority. It is a contest for victory ; a full de- 
 termination to consummate his own will ; not 
 for once merely, but for deciding the question 
 of future supremacy. The party which tri- 
 umphs in this struggle usually remains master, 
 and the vanquished yields the ground to the 
 victor. It is not always the case, indeed, that 
 a single trial brings the matter to a final issue ; 
 though such is the general fact, if the parties 
 have fully tried their strength, and the victory 
 is not doubtful. It is scarcely necessary to say 
 here, that in making these remarks, I have re- 
 ference only to those cases where the parents 
 themselves choose to have the question of su- 
 premacy settled, and to have it settled in their 
 own favor. There are those who, if we judge 
 from appearances, never wish to have the ques- 
 tion decided in form, and who keep up an une- 
 qual contest until repeated discomfitures bring 
 them to submission, or rouse them to despe- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 85 
 
 rate, but unavailing remedies. There are 
 those, too, who, from the very first, surrender 
 themselves servants to their children's caprices, 
 and quietly yield to all their requirements 
 without an attempt to control their desires, or 
 a suspicion that they need to be controlled. — 
 Now if a parent really intends to assert his 
 own authority, the sooner he brings his child 
 to submit to it, the more easily the work is 
 accomplished. The natural obstinacy of his 
 child continually increases witk his age, as 
 well as by indulgence , and the longer, there- 
 fore, the overcoming of it is postponed, the 
 more difficult it becomes. The younger the 
 child, the more flexible are his passions and 
 appetites ; and the more easily is he made sen- 
 sible of his own weakness, and of his parent's 
 strength. Unless the child is made to feel that 
 he is in his parent's power, and that resistance 
 to his will is impracticable, he will never cease 
 from efforts to prove his own ability to throw 
 off" restraint, and the feasibility of bringing the 
 latter to comply with his desires. When the 
 child is quite young, therefore, let the parent 
 overcome his obstinacy, and teach him compli- 
 ance with his own will. Let him be taught the 
 8* 
 
86 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 necessity of submission. As soon as this les- 
 son is learned, his acquiescence in his parent's 
 commands will be prompt and cheerful. The 
 law of necessity is recognised and quietly- 
 obeyed by all percipient beings, whether ra- 
 tional or irrational. No law is so easily made 
 intelligible ; and none is so early learned by 
 children. A child never contends for that 
 which he does not conceive it possible to ob- 
 tain ; nor does he resist that against which he 
 considers resistance of no avail. As soon, then, 
 as he is capable of understanding and feeling 
 this general law of percipient beings, let it be 
 sooner or later, he is old enough to be subjected 
 to its influence, and maybe profited by its pro- 
 per application. I do not say when it is that 
 this capacity is first developed ; the time will 
 vary, undoubtedly, in different individuals ; but 
 it is the duty of the parent to be attentive to 
 the indications of its arrival, and to seize this 
 opportunity of establishing his influence. When- 
 ever a parent begins to proclaim to his friends 
 the precocity of his child, displays with fond 
 delight his witty pranks, and dwells on the 
 numerous tokens of his genius, he ought to be 
 aware that the same arguments which will prove 
 
OFCHILDREN. 87 
 
 his child to possess tliese rare endowments, will 
 also prove that he has understanding and capa- 
 city to obey. A mind which is sufficiently ma- 
 tured to be witty, shrewd and sagacious, is mature 
 enough to exercise those simpler acts of obedi- 
 ence which a judicious parent will first enjoin, 
 and to understand whether obedience must 
 necessarily follow the injunction, or may be 
 safely neglected. Let him who is inclined to 
 postpone the government of his child until he 
 is old enough to comprehend the propriety of 
 submission, and is disposed to make that period 
 a late one, be equally willing to defer the eulogy 
 of his intellectual brightness to a season not 
 less remote. To do this, it is believed, would 
 be safe, as it certainly would be prudent. 
 
 Whatever may be the earliest time of com- 
 mencing the work of governing a child, the great 
 defect with very many parents is, they delay it 
 much too long. When the passions of a child 
 have become strong and mature, and his temper 
 has been strengthened and made obstinate by 
 habitual indulgence, it is no easy matter for a 
 parent to summon resolution sufficient to master 
 them, should he even see the necessity of mak- 
 ing the attempt. In most cases of protracted 
 
88 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 delay the struggle must be severe, or the victory 
 incomplete ; and who that has ever known the 
 feelings of a parent's heart is ignorant of the 
 test to which these feelings are put, when the 
 alternative is fully presented, of the ruin of the 
 child or the infliction on him of pain and dis- 
 tress which shall suffice, if he is peculiarly ob- 
 stinate, to mollify his temper and produce his 
 reformation ? In the more moderate struggles 
 which he is called upon to encounter, the parent 
 has need of well fixed principles of duty, and 
 of much firmness of purpose, to enable him to 
 persevere without a betraying of his trust; how 
 much more, then, will they be needed in circum- 
 stances of superior difficulty and temptation? 
 How, then, shall it be questioned that wisdom 
 and feeling both demand that discipline should 
 be commenced, and the reluctance of the child 
 to yield himself to his parent's guidance should 
 be overcome, at an age when his temper is most 
 pliable, and the task of moulding it is compar- 
 atively easy? — before the mind itself has be- 
 come armed with expedients, and has lent the 
 aid of all its powers to swell the current of the 
 passions, and direct their force against the 
 barriers which resist them ? 
 
OFCHILDREN. 89 
 
 Some pious parents seem to entertain the 
 idea that inasmuch as peculiar promises are 
 made to them, as Christians, in behalf of their 
 children, they have little else to do than trust to 
 promises, without any special effort on their 
 part to learn or to fulfil the conditions on which 
 they are made. They commend, as they ought, 
 their children in prayer to God, and appear to 
 overlook the duties which he has devolved upon 
 themselves, as growing out of the parental rela- 
 tion, and without the performance of which his 
 aid would be little less than miraculous. They 
 may teach them many important religious truths ; 
 inculcate on their minds the necessity of virtue 
 and piety ; exhort them to the practice of all 
 that is lovely and of good report; and set before 
 them in their own persons, an example of holy 
 living, and yet fall short of the demands of duty 
 and a reception of the promises. All these 
 things may have been done without any author- 
 itative efficiency ; by way of counsel, advice, 
 and recommendation, but without insisting 
 on the performance of a single item, and with 
 none of that urgency of manner which charac- 
 terizes a demand which cannot, must not, be 
 denied. 
 
90 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 We have, in well authenticated history, the 
 example of a pious man whose counsels and 
 advice to his children were, in all probability, 
 as salutary and as urgent as those to which I 
 have just alluded. Yet his sons were impiously 
 abandoned characters, and drew upon them- 
 selves the signal displeasure of Heaven. For 
 aught that appears, the pious Eli prayed as fer- 
 vently for his sons, and as much desired their 
 best welfare, as any other parent. We have the 
 highest evidence of his devotion to the honor of 
 God, and the cause of religion. After all, he had 
 one grand defect; and that defect brought ruin 
 to his family, and hastened his own departure 
 from the world. It is said of him, " that his sons 
 made themselves vile, and he restrained them 
 not." It was an aggravation o€ his fault, as it 
 further appears, that he knew their "iniquity," 
 while he failed to correct it. The difficulty with 
 this good man was, he did not exercise such a 
 control over his sons as was sufficient to keep 
 their evil propensities in check. They had their 
 own way, and maintained it in spite of the know- 
 ledge and authority of their father. Now had it 
 not been possible for him to control his sons, he 
 would not have received so severe a rebuke 
 
OFCHILDREN. 91 
 
 from Him who exacts nothing from men which 
 they cannot perform, nor punishes them for an 
 omission of duties which they cannot fulfil. 
 Yet we have reason to believe that at this 
 period of their lives, spoken of in their history, 
 this parent had, indeed, no power to control his 
 sons ; for what authority, at their age, was any 
 father ever able to exert over sons who had 
 successfully set it at nought through the season 
 of childhood and youth ? His error, then, com- 
 menced further back; it must be dated from the 
 first opportunity which he carelessly lost of 
 controlling their base propensities ; and Avas 
 continued and aggravated, so long as such 
 opportunities were oflered and neglected. On 
 the admonitory character of such an example, 
 I forbear to comment. It speaks a plainer 
 and more powerful language than any at my 
 command, and most forcibly illustrates the im- 
 portance of an early coercion of children to 
 obedience and duty. 
 
 This branch of my subject will be dismissed 
 with the citation of a brighter example from the 
 same authentic source as the former. When 
 the Most Wise had selected a man to be the 
 " Father of the faithful," and " in whom all the 
 
92 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 families of the earth were to be blessed," as if 
 to attest the propriety of his choice, he gave 
 him this remarkable commendation : — "I know 
 him, that he will command his children and his 
 household after him, and they shall keep the 
 way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment." — 
 The Lord knew that Abraham would not only 
 counsel and advise his children to do right,^ 
 and pray to Him to keep and guide them, but 
 would do all in his own power to accomplish 
 the same object. He would have commands to 
 be given and enforced, as well as advice and 
 moral suasion to be administered. These com- 
 mands would not be the mere expressions 
 of his own opinion of right and wrong, 
 but would be enforced with a patriarch's 
 authority. Abraham's sense of duty was not 
 confined to the entertainment of sundry good 
 wishes, and the mere perception of the value of 
 moral excellence ; he went further, and made it 
 his aim to secure the actual possession of what 
 appeared so well in theory, and which his 
 heart and his judgment approved. There was 
 something which gave efficiency to his com- 
 mands, as the general conduct of his house- 
 hold sufficiently evinces, and the filial obedience 
 
OFCHILDREN. 93 
 
 and piety of Isaac, in particular, clearly attest. 
 So long as the relation between parent and 
 child shall exist, the example of the latter will 
 be a standing proof that parental faithfulness, 
 as exhibited in the enforcement of salutary 
 commands, does not weaken the force of filial 
 attachment, nor divert it from its natural chan- 
 nel. The commendation bestowed on Abra- 
 ham for his fidelity in the relation which he 
 sustained, will be an equally enduring proof of 
 the estimation in which such a parental cha- 
 racter is held by One who cannot err ; — whose 
 praise is given without flattery, and whose 
 censure is founded in truth. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Style of intercourse between parents and children.— General 
 remarks. — Examples. 
 
 The kind of intercourse which is maintained 
 between parents and children forms no incon- 
 siderable item in the process of education, and 
 has its attendant errors. That a parent at 
 all proper times, and on all fit occasions, should 
 be accessible to his children; that he should 
 be ready to attend to all their minuter wants ; 
 and should make them feel easy and happy in 
 his presence, none will deny. He who can do 
 this without compromitting his dignity, and 
 without losing that respect and deference 
 which children should always bear to their 
 parents, should count himself fortunate in the 
 possession of an attribute which is oftener com- 
 mended, than attained. From her relation to 
 her children, and her station in the family, 
 together with the natural structure of her mind 
 and feelings, the mother possesses a tact and 
 
EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 95 
 
 a grace in these things, which a father cannot 
 have ; and, it should be added, which it is not 
 best that he should have, to the same extent, 
 and with the same modifications. There ought 
 to be a greater distance between the father and 
 his children, than between the mother and them. 
 The orderly management of the family requires 
 it ; and a just gradation and distribution of 
 powers, the natural fitness of things, and the 
 due counterpoise of the different parts in the 
 domestic system, require such an arrangement. 
 After all, in this family intercourse the father 
 may be too distant and reserved, and the 
 mother may be too familiar; and while the 
 father also may be too familiar, the mother, it 
 is believed, will err, if she errs at all, on the 
 score of excessive familiarity alone. She hardly 
 can, if she would, be too distant and reserved; 
 while every thing around conspires to tempt 
 her to the other extreme. An over-rigid, 
 austere, cold, and distant mother may, possibly, 
 be here and there found by ransacking the 
 history of the sex , but the exceptions would be 
 too rare, and the anomaly too great, to invali- 
 date the truth of the general remark. 
 
 It is now generally agreed that our forefa- 
 
96 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 thers, to a considerable extent, carried their 
 views of austerity and reserve towards their 
 children too far. No parent, at this day, would 
 probably imitate their example in full. But in 
 rejecting what was wrong, have we been suffi- 
 ciently careful to avoid an opposite extreme ? 
 To me it seems that we have not. The pre- 
 dominant error now is, unless I greatly mis- 
 take, that parents indulge in too great familiari- 
 ties with their children, to the risk of maintain- 
 ing their ascendancy over them, and at the 
 hazard of that dignity which is necessary to 
 command respect. Government cannot be sup- 
 ported if the source from which it emanates is 
 debased, and incapable of inspiring awe ; and it 
 is enfeebled in proportion to this debasement, 
 and its failure to preserve reverence. But pa- 
 rents must lose the power of inspiring their 
 children with much awe or respect for them- 
 selves, when the latter are admitted to such 
 terms of intimate familiarity as we sometimes 
 witness. The indecorous manner with which 
 some children are suffered to treat their parents 
 when in their presence ; their entire freedom 
 from restraint ; their rude, pert, and unceremoni- 
 ous questions and answers, and their romping 
 
OFCHILDREN. 97 
 
 behaviour, sufficiently bespeak the kind of awe 
 which they have been accustomed to feel. In 
 vain does one listen to the indication of some 
 small remains of an expiring sense of propriety, 
 on the part of the parent, in the trite and awkward 
 form of an apology : " It seems as if my children 
 had undertaken to see how bad they could act 
 when you are present ; I know not what has 
 induced them to be so rude and noisy all at 
 once; — (Children, do you not know it is impo- 
 lite to behave in such a manner when ladies and 
 gentlemen are present?) — I am afraid you will 
 think that they always conduct in this way." 
 The countenances of the children and their un- 
 intimidation sufficiently show that they are well 
 acquainted with such remarks, and that they 
 are quite at ease as to any future molestation, 
 when " the ladies and gentlemen" shall have 
 gone. 
 
 There are two short words which, under 
 proper management, have a wonderful effect in 
 teaching children deference to their superiors. 
 These are, Sir and Ma^am. The omission of 
 them in the addresses of children to their pa- 
 rents, betokens a degree of familiarity which 
 fashion may approve, but which it cannot justify. 
 
98 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 It betokens a familiarity which is devoid of re- 
 spect, and is an approach to such an equality 
 as is inconsistent with parental influence, and 
 filial subordination. In a family of Friends, or 
 Quakers, whom I mention with unfeigned re- 
 spect, children may omit these words of defer- 
 ence without any impairing of their reverence 
 for their parents, because the custom of those 
 with whom they associate sanctions their dis-' 
 use, and other usages and manners supply their 
 place. But in families of which I speak, no re- 
 ligious scruples forbid the employment of such 
 words of address ; on the contrary, they are re- 
 cognised as proper by the parents themselves, 
 and treated by them as essential to good breed- 
 ing and respectful politeness towards those 
 whom they design to honor. Of all this the 
 children are well apprised ; and the necessary 
 effect of not being required to adopt these usual 
 forms of civility towards their parents is to 
 lower their estimation of the latter, and to do 
 away that sense of deference which, by a sort 
 of conventional agreement, these terms of ad- 
 dress were intended to convey. Nor does the 
 effect stop here. These privileged children 
 extend their pert disrespect to all their superiors, 
 
OFCHILDREN. 99 
 
 if superiors they can be brought to acknowledge, 
 and deal out their impartial rudeness wher- 
 ever this species of justice can be conveniently 
 exhibited. But it is not the simple use of yes 
 and no which alone stamps the intercourse in 
 question with a bad appearance ; the air of 
 effrontery with which these monosyllables are 
 uttered is a legitimate consequence of the habit 
 itself In most cases, perhaps, this effrontery 
 is the source, as well as the consequence, of the 
 habit ; and both stand in the relation of cause 
 and effect to each other. — Let it not be said 
 that all this is descending to the notice of trifles. 
 Nothing is trifling which affects the characters 
 and conduct of our children ; and who will 
 deny that a deferential regard to parents and 
 seniors, is one of the most amiable traits in the 
 character and conduct of children and youth ? 
 
 The habits and, of course, the characters of 
 children are, or ought to be, formed at home. 
 I speak now of that period of their lives, when 
 they reside under the parental roof If the 
 daily intercourse of their parents with them is 
 such as to encourage them in pertness, rudeness, 
 and insolence at home, what should hinder 
 them from being pert, rude, and insolent every 
 
100 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 where? If there be no fear of their parents 
 before their eyes, what ground is there for sup- 
 posing that they will stand in awe of other 
 superiors ? If they are allowed to take great 
 liberties under the eyes of their parents, will 
 they not, in all probability, take greater when 
 other eyes are upon them? — Often have I seen 
 children rude and impertinent at home, when it 
 was obvious that their behaviour was unnoticed 
 by their parents ; and unnoticed, because it was 
 so common and habitual as to cease to attract 
 their attention. The rudeness, probably, began 
 at that early age which many suppose to allow 
 of no restraint ; and so was continued onward 
 till, from familiarity with it, the parents regard- 
 ed it with indifference. In other cases, the 
 children when quite small have been allowed, 
 and even encouraged, to be pert and saucy : to 
 say and do things which would have been pro- 
 hibited in older ones, from a mistaken idea that 
 this behaviour was in them smart and amusing, 
 or indicative of manly feeling. The parents, if 
 questioned as to the propriety of indulging their 
 children in this manner, would at once reply 
 that they expected to check them when they 
 grew older should it then be necessary ; but, in 
 
OFCHILDREN. 101 
 
 general, the expectation would be intimated, 
 that the children would learn propriety as age 
 should give them experience, and teach them 
 the importance of correcting their errors. They 
 seem to forget that modesty and diffidence are 
 not the result of increasing intercourse with the 
 world, nor of that self-confidence which is in- 
 spired by the continual encouragement of the 
 opposite qualities. The child must be expected 
 to walk in the way to which he has been train- 
 ed, unless we choose to overlook every dictate 
 of experience, and forget the lessons of Divine 
 inspiration. — But why should a rude and im- 
 pertinent behaviour be encouraged at any period 
 of childhood and youth? Is not modesty a 
 virtue ; and, connected with that kind of diffi- 
 dence which ever attends it, one of the greatest 
 safeguards from vice ? Who ever looked on an 
 impudent child, without a suspicion unfavorable 
 to his character in other respects? — and with- 
 out a suspicion, too, that the parents had been 
 faulty in the discharge of their duty to him ? 
 Yet nothing seems to be so much dreaded by 
 some parents, as that their children will be too 
 bashful. To avoid this object of alarm, they 
 will almost compel them to be impudent, with- 
 
102 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 out ever seeming to think that, in avoiding one 
 evil, they were encountering others still worse. 
 They should remember that bashfulness, though 
 a fault, is not a vice, nor a temptation to it ; but 
 that undue pertness, rudeness, sauciness, and 
 impudence have a close affinity with the one, 
 and are a direct source of the other. 
 
 I shall now touch upon a subject which I 
 would gladly omit, could the omission be recon- 
 ciled with the entire fidelity with which I have 
 undertaken to discharge a serious duty. At 
 the hazard, however, of some misapprehension, 
 and of being charged with the want of tender 
 emotion and affectionate feeling, I shall venture 
 to express my thoughts, whatever may be the 
 reception with which they meet. The topic al- 
 luded to, is the overweening fondness with 
 which children are often treated in the domes- 
 tic circle. The child is habitually plied with 
 such a variety of caresses, that he comes, at 
 length, to consider himself a privileged being. 
 Accustomed to hear no language but that of ap- 
 probation, or addressed with no words but those 
 of fondness, he views himself as entitled to hear 
 no other, and is both surprised and offended by 
 any thing like serious reproof. He has heard 
 
OFCHILDREN. 103 
 
 the language, •• my love, my dear, my darling ; 
 you sweet creature, my dove, my cherub," &c. 
 &c. so often reiterated from the lips of parents, 
 and uncles, and aunts, and cousins, and friends, 
 and dear kind neighbors, that he really ima- 
 gines himself to be somewhat superhuman, 
 though his capricious actions will ever and 
 anon betray a grosser origin. How common 
 such expressions are, how fashionable, and how 
 genteel, I need not say. I will rather ask, if 
 parents who do not use them at all, or but spa- 
 ringly, would not be considered quite wanting 
 in refinement and polite sensibility? To ad- 
 dress a child without the addition of some en- 
 dearing appellation, is evidently considered by 
 many as coarse and vulgar. To use some 
 fondling expression whenever he is accosted, is 
 considered a mark of good breeding. Were all 
 these endearments confined to children in the 
 nursery, the mischief done would be compara- 
 tively small and tolerable ; but to hear a great, 
 overgrown boy, far advanced in his teens, never 
 addressed without "my dear," to soften and 
 qualify it, is really distressing; — I mean, it 
 would be so if it were not fashionable. 
 
 With the natural propensity which all human 
 
104 ONTHEEDUCATION 
 
 beings possess of thinking too well of them- 
 selves, it should not seem strange, if we will 
 persist in giving our children names of flattery, 
 that they imagine themselves to be in reality 
 what we so often call them. Accustomed to 
 such treatment, they consider themselves abused 
 whenever they are reminded of a fault. Nor is 
 the transition very easy, on the part of the pa- 
 rents, from flattery to reproof. There is an in- 
 consistency in it which is felt by both parents 
 and children, and which the latter will always en- 
 deavor to turn to what they deem their own ad- 
 vantage. It is difficult to convince a child who 
 has always been flattered and caressed without 
 occasion, that his parents are in earnest when 
 they change their tone to that of rebuke. The 
 conviction is more diflficult still, when such ca- 
 ressing accompanies the rebuke itself "My 
 dear," " my love," — " why are you so naughty," 
 give feeble promise, at the commencement of 
 reproof, that the "naughtiness" will be removed 
 by very decisive measures. But when I hear 
 a reproof addressed to a lubberly boy, twelve 
 or fourteen years of age, and prefaced with 
 " my dear," I have no expectation that the dear 
 fellow will be alarmed into contrition. The 
 
OFCHILDREN. 105 
 
 child is conscious that reproof, in order to be 
 effectual, must be made of "sterner stuff," and 
 he shapes his course accordingly. His way- 
 ward passions disdain to be bound by such 
 silken cordage ; while his understanding has 
 been too much practised in these matters, to ap- 
 prehend evil from continuing in conduct which 
 meets with such endearing reprehension. 
 
 In justification of that kind of address which 
 has just been considered, it will be said by some 
 that parents ought to be affectionate in the treat- 
 ment of their children, and to show them, in all 
 their intercourse, how much they love them. 
 Hence, they say, " our language should always 
 be affectionate and tender, that our children 
 may see how strong a hold they have on the 
 feelings of our hearts." Ah ! there is the dif- 
 ficulty. They do see how strong a hold they 
 have there, and they practise accordingly. They 
 clearly see that, do what they will, they have 
 nothing to expect but soft words, and gen- 
 tle advisement. They discover, indeed, the 
 strength of your attachment, but they perceive, 
 besides, the weakness of your authority. — But 
 is there no way in which a parent can disclose 
 his love to his children, except by the never 
 10 
 
106 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 ceasing use of endearing epithets ? What has 
 become of the old proverb, " that actions speak 
 louder than words ?" The fear that our child- 
 ren will not love us, nor think that we love them, 
 unless we continually remind theAi of the lat- 
 ter, and allure them to do the former by the 
 continual use of these epithets, is altogether 
 idle. The Author of our being has placed our 
 natural affections on a firmer basis, and has 
 provided stronger motives of action than the 
 parents, whose practice here comes in question, 
 seem to suppose. Let us faithfully discharge 
 our duty to them in all its bearings and propor- 
 tions, exercising our authority over them, and 
 securing their obedience, whenever these things 
 need to be done. Let us evince our love to 
 them by our careful regard to their best inter- 
 ests, and setting before them an example which 
 will meet with their respect, and which they 
 may safely copy. In this way we shall secure 
 their love without coaxing, and their esteem 
 without weakness. We should always bear in 
 mind that endearments, as well as threats, lose 
 their power by constant reiteration ; and that 
 children early become excellent judges of the 
 value of appearances. They early learn that 
 
OrCHILDREN. 107 
 
 true affection is not seated on the lips, and that 
 the genuine feelings of the heart are not indebt- 
 ed for their utterance to the monotonous use of 
 a few doting epithets. Such an affection is ut- 
 tered in a thousand varied forms of conduct, in 
 comparison with which all such epithets appear 
 btit insipid mockeries ; and he who resorts to 
 any expedients for securing the love of his child- 
 ren beyond what nature and reason dictate, be- 
 trays a want of confidence in these superior 
 guides, and a misapprehension of the effects 
 which affectation produces. Sincerity has so 
 little need of profession, that an abundance of 
 the latter usually casts suspicion on the former. 
 An excessive solicitude to convince our children 
 that we love them, may only lower us in their 
 esteem. Such a consequence is perfectly na- 
 tural and ought to be expected, although it 
 seems to be greatly overlooked, or strangely 
 disregarded. 
 
 There is another style of intercourse which 
 merits a brief notice in this connection. Often- 
 times, not only does the parent speak of him- 
 self in the third person, but addresses his child 
 in the same, both in familiar speech, and when 
 he ventures so far as to convey to him some- 
 
108 EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 
 
 thing like reproof. — "Papa," or "mamma, 
 wants George should do thus and so :" — "George 
 should always do as mamma bids him:" — 
 "George will never do so again, will he?" — 
 These are short specimens of the kind of inter- 
 course to which I allude. Now does the parent 
 suppose that the use of the pronoun / would 
 place himself in too prominent and imposing 
 an attitude in the sight of his child, and would 
 appear too stern to his nervous sensibility ? Or 
 does he think that the use of the pronoun you 
 would be too direct an address to suit the lat- 
 ter's views of the deference which should be 
 paid him? — This courtly style seems badly to 
 comport with that which naturally subsists be- 
 tween parent and child. It savors of weakness 
 and affectation on ordinary occasions ; but 
 when employed in the ministration of reproof, 
 it has in it, really, something of the ludicrous. 
 To rebuke a child in the third person, is much 
 like threatening another in his absence. Both 
 will commonly entertain the same expectation 
 — to escape with impunity. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 Unwillingness of parents to have the faults of their children men- 
 tioned by other people, — why unreasonable. — Taking the part 
 of children against their teachers. — Treatment of friends and 
 neighbors who disclose the faults of children. 
 
 The person, probably, was never known who 
 would not admit, in the gross, that he possessed 
 faults : though, if they were mentioned to him 
 in detail, there might not be one, in the whole 
 unseemly catalogue, which he could be made to 
 acknowledge as his own, or which could be 
 mentioned without giving him offence. But 
 unwilling as men, in general, are to be remind- 
 ed of their own errors, there are not a few who 
 are still more restive when informed of the 
 faults of their children. In accounting for this 
 fact, it is not necessary to suppose that one's 
 self-love is less fastidious than his love to his 
 offspring; it can be accounted for, rather, on 
 the ground that love of self is the predominant 
 principle. So generally, and yet almost un- 
 consciously, is the idea imprinted on the minds 
 10* 
 
no ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 of men that children "walk in the way to which 
 they have been trained," that any misbehaviour 
 on the part of the latter is considered an impu- 
 tation on the fidelity, or at least, the discern- 
 ment of their parents. To tell a parent, there- 
 fore, of his children's faults, is received by him 
 as tantamount to a reproof of himself His 
 pride is offended in a tender point; and the 
 messenger of these evil tidings is too often 
 treated as an officious intermeddler with other 
 people's concerns. 
 
 The pride to which I have now alluded is, 
 however, much too easily alarmed. In a mul- 
 titude of instances, without doubt, the parent is 
 greatly to blame for the faults of his children ; 
 he is, indeed, always so, if they are such as he 
 could have prevented. But, it should be re- 
 membered, no parent is always present with his 
 child, nor can be; and how shall he know what 
 faults his children commit, when out of his 
 sight, without some one to inform him? To 
 those parents who think that their children 
 never commit faults, under any circumstances, 
 at home or abroad, in their presence or ab- 
 sence, I have but little, in this place, to say. 
 They must continue, for aught that appears, 
 
O F C II I L D R E N. HI 
 
 voluntarily blind to facts, and dream of ideal 
 innocence and perfection till wakened from their 
 reveries by some louder call than a few general 
 remarks, like these, are calculated to make. 
 There are enough whose general theory of the 
 human character, and of the liability of their 
 children to err, is such as to induce a hope that 
 they may listen to the observations which fol- 
 low, with some degree of attention. 
 
 If it is true, as was just now suggested, that 
 no parent can always be present with his child- 
 ren; if they must, of necessity, fall under the 
 notice, if not the watch, of others ; it follows, 
 as a natural consequence, that much of their 
 conduct can never be known to their parents, 
 except through the medium of those who may 
 be friendly, and faithful enough to disclose it. 
 To do this, however, is an office both unplea- 
 sant, and hazardous. It is unpleasant, because 
 the character of an informer, in every shape, 
 subjects a person to many unfavorable imputa- 
 tions and suspicions, however pure may be his 
 motives, however delicate may be the manner 
 of his communications, however necessary these 
 latter may be for the prevention of evil, and 
 however pressing may be the demands of duty. 
 
112 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 No person of common sensibility, I venture to 
 say, ever communicated to a parent the unwel- 
 come intelligence of his children's faults with- 
 out a shrinking from the task, and without a 
 struggle, for a while, between a sense of duty, 
 and a feeling of diffidence at performing the 
 service. The office is hazardous, because he 
 who undertakes it incurs the risk of losing the 
 good will of a friend, or a neighbor, with whom, 
 it may be, he has long been intimate, whose dis- 
 pleasure would be to him a serious loss, and to 
 whom he may be obligated in gratitude for 
 many acts of kindness. But laying aside par- 
 ticular obligations, and special attachments, 
 every person feels conscious that, in disclosing 
 faults of this sort, he is in danger of drawing on 
 himself some degree of displeasure, and possi- 
 bly, of resentment ; or, at the least, that he is 
 performing a service which is not often remu- 
 nerated with thanks. When, therefore, a per- 
 son, under such circumstances, acquaints another 
 with the errors of a child, he is entitled to be 
 considered as an honest, faithful, and impartial 
 witness, even should he prove to be a mistaken 
 one. From the very nature of things, it is dif- 
 ficult to conceive how any man would become, 
 
O F C H I L D R E N. 113 
 
 in ordinary cases, the bearer of such unwel- 
 come intelligence, unless he was satisfied with 
 respect to its truth, and was actuated by fair 
 and conscientious motives. To treat him, then, 
 unkindly for the performance of a duty so self- 
 denying, and so indicative of good intentions, 
 is both unjust, and ungenerous. To treat him 
 harshly, is cruel ; it inflicts a wound on feelings 
 of a most benevolent character, and which may 
 remain long unhealed. To treat him, and the 
 intelligence, with indifference merely, or with 
 incredulity, is sufficiently disheartening to one 
 who, at the sacrifice of much feeling, has en- 
 deavored to benefit a friend without the hope 
 of any possible advantage to himself in return. 
 But the parent who thus cuts himself ofl^ from 
 information which so nearly concerns the best 
 interests of his children, makes himself and 
 them the greatest losers. Were he to treat a 
 person who should bring him tidings that his 
 child was sick or wounded, with resentment or 
 neglect, all would exclaim against his folly, and 
 want of generous sentiment. Yet of how much 
 more importance are diseases of the moral man, 
 than those of the body. Why, then, should a 
 parent reward the messenger of ill tidings, in 
 
114 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 the one case with gratitude and esteem ; while, 
 in the other, he receives him with neglect, dis- 
 like, and resentment? Why, in the one case, 
 does he avail himself of the intelligence, and 
 send for physicians, and anxiously apply all 
 proper remedies; while, in the other, he dis- 
 misses all concern for his child, and fosters the 
 disease which he had now the opportunity to 
 cure ? A wise regard to the interests of his 
 child would lead him to receive and treat the 
 messenger with as much kindness in the latter 
 case, as in the former. It would induce him to 
 listen with attention to the story of his child- 
 ren's faults ; to examine the evidence of its 
 truth with impartial care ; and to thank, with 
 all cordiality, the person who had performed 
 the unpleasant office. It would invite rather 
 than repel such friendly advances, and give such 
 evidence that they were received with good 
 will, as would put the apprehensions of him 
 who made them to rest, and encourage him to 
 venture upon future disclosures. 
 
 Although the theory in this case appears to 
 be so plain, who is there who does not feel the 
 difficulty of approaching a parent with the story 
 of his children's faults? Who does not fear 
 
F C H I L D R E N. 115 
 
 that a forfeiture of friendship, or such a dubi- 
 ous fecognition of the favor as is nearly equiva- 
 lent to it, may be the only result ? Or, if the 
 lips of the parent should falter out some ex- 
 pression of formal acknowledgment, that all else 
 would show that the heart withheld its concur- 
 rence ? Hence it is that recourse is so often 
 had to hints, inuendoes, allusions, and a multi- 
 tude of other expedients, to introduce the faults 
 of their children to the notice of their parents ; 
 and that full and ample disclosures are so 
 seldom made. But how rarely these indirect 
 methods are attended with success, I need not 
 tell. I have seen a parent thus beset with inu- 
 endoes and allusions, varied in every possible 
 form, for an hour together ; the examples of 
 other children brought into full and open vision, 
 with hint after hint thrown out to show their 
 application ; and every expedient tried short of 
 a downright declaration of the object in view ; 
 while he would yield his approbation to all that 
 was said, give new force to every sentiment, and 
 have no suspicion that he, or his, had the least 
 concern in the subjects of discourse. — But when 
 a person ventures directly to inform a parent 
 that his child has been guilty of some miscon- 
 
116 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 duct ; that he has, for example, been saucy to 
 his superiors, quarrelsome with his fellows, pro- 
 fane in his language, has violated the truth, or 
 has frequented bad places, how often is the in- 
 former treated with a resentment equally direct, 
 and undisguised ? How often are the bonds of 
 friendship, in such cases, ruptured ; and how 
 often is the informer dismissed with the taunt- 
 ing monition that he would do well to attend to 
 the faults of his own children, or those of some 
 different friend or connection, and not to med- 
 dle with the concerns of other people before 
 he was solicited ? 
 
 But the restiveness of parents is peculiarly 
 observable when the faults of their children are 
 exposed at school ;* and more especially, when 
 their children receive correction there. What 
 large displays of parental wrath are every now 
 and then made, because a punishment has been 
 inflicted on some notorious delinquent; what 
 ample scope is there given to heart-broilings, 
 vindictive feelings, reprehensions, and threats; 
 what occasion is now taken for the formation 
 and display of party feuds, and the genderings 
 
 + I refer principally to our common, or primary, schools. 
 
OFCHILDREN. 117 
 
 of strife? — Beyond all question a school 
 teacher is sometimes found who is indiscreet 
 and hasty in his feelings ; inexperienced, and 
 incorrect in his views of discipline; and who 
 may, therefore, inflict a punishment not deserved, 
 or disproportionate to the oflence. Nor is it to 
 be denied that, among all who are entrusted 
 with the care of a school, an individual may 
 sometimes be found the tissue of whose nerves 
 so well comports with the solid structure of his 
 skull, and whose social and moral feelings are 
 so obtuse, as to render him insensible to the 
 pain which he inflicts on others, and incapable 
 of the common sympathies of our natures. But 
 such instances are rare, and whenever they 
 occur, there is no difliculty in speedily remov- 
 ing the evil. Nor shall I stop to notice cases 
 where, through mutual precipitancy and indis- 
 cretion, both teachers and parents are betrayed 
 into temporary errors. I would barely remark, 
 in passing, that one indiscretion does not com- 
 monly cure another ; and that it is often better 
 to treat slight wrongs with forbearance, than to 
 undertake to avenge them. A different class 
 of occurrences more particularly claims our 
 
118 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 attention ; one much more common, and 
 attended with more pernicious consequences. 
 
 In most communities there is a class of 
 parents with whom the maltreatment of their 
 children at school, is a standing theme of com- 
 plaint. Their children are always right, and 
 their instructors always wrong. If the latter 
 restrain them, and compel them to order, and 
 to study — they are "abusive tyrants;" if, from 
 fear of giving offence, and to avoid difficulty at 
 home, they suffer them to take" their own way — 
 then "they neither know how to govern nor how 
 to teach." For proof of the last position, they 
 will refer you to the facts that their children 
 have grown uneasy and turbulent, and that, in 
 many weeks or months, they have made no 
 advancement in learning. The facts are, indeed, 
 incontestible, but of their proper causes they 
 seem to have no suspicion. They never dream 
 that their own conceit of their children's worth 
 and inviolability has been the occasion of the 
 mischief, and thrown a barrier in the way of 
 their improvement ; that their own jealousy has 
 prevented the instructors from an efficient dis- 
 charge of their duty, and encourage their child- 
 ren to set up for independence. They forget 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 119 
 
 that instructors have either feelings or respon- 
 sibilities ; and that they have as little relish for 
 personal abuse and vituperation, as parents 
 have in reference to their children. Whatever 
 reports may be brought to their ears, by in- 
 structors or others, respecting the misde- 
 meanors of their children, they give them no 
 credit. Teachers, other children, neighbors 
 and all, are prejudiced against themselves and 
 their family. They know not what they have 
 done that ''their James, and George, and Mary, 
 should always incur the ill will of others. No 
 children behave better than they do at home ; 
 and, no doubt, they would always do so abroad, 
 if other people's children would let them 
 alone, and the teacher knew how to humor 
 them." — Well would it be if the part of a child 
 who had been corrected for some misdemeanor 
 at school were never espoused by the parents 
 at home. Yet even this is no very uncommon 
 
 occurrence. " Mamma, Mr. whipped me 
 
 to-day," whimpers out a young offender as he 
 returns from school, eager and pouting. " What ! 
 did Mr. dare to hurt my little Henry," ex- 
 claims the incensed mother ? " Yes, mamma, 
 he did, — he did certainly!" reply little John 
 
120 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 and Caroline, both at once, and in breathless ra- 
 pidity. " I will tell your papa," says the mother, 
 " and he shall see that the naughty master 
 never hurts my darling again." — " He'll whip 
 the naughty master, v/ont he mamma?" — 
 
 " He'll take care, I promise you, that Mr. 
 
 shall know better than to hurt you, or any of 
 my pretty children any more." — No inquiry is 
 made on the part of this discreet mother, 
 whether the child had deserved correction, or 
 not; nor whether it had received beyond its 
 merits. The teacher had inflicted a hurt ; no 
 matter whether it was moderate, or immode- 
 rate ; proper or improper ; too great or not 
 great enough. The deed is done ; and all 
 inquiries into its propriety, and all concern for 
 the moral good of the child are precluded. 
 But the issue of all this is clearly foreseen by 
 those who are not equally infatuated. It is 
 even foreseen by other parents who might, in 
 similar circumstances, imitate, to some extent, 
 the same example. A more direct course to 
 ruin a child could not be devised. 
 
 Let none say that the above picture is over- 
 drawn; that no parents can be found sufficiently 
 infatuated to adopt a course so wild, and absurd. 
 
OFCHILIOREN. 121 
 
 It is, indeed, to be hoped that such is not the 
 usual practice of parents at large ; but who- 
 ever thinks that such a case as the one de- 
 scribed is fictitious or a solitary one, one which 
 very, very rarely occurs, cannot have mingled 
 extensively with families around him, or must 
 have noticed with little attention how children 
 are there managed, or must have been quite 
 fortunate in his intercourse with the world. 
 But I can assure my readers, that the above 
 picture, if it exhibits deformity, is not a carica- 
 ture ; and that such a scene as it represents 
 happens much too often — happens, perhaps, 
 oftener than it is witnessed by those who are 
 not concerned in its representation. It was 
 my object, I confess, to exhibit a strong case ; 
 but from that case there are nice and innumer- 
 able gradations, until we arrive at small and faint 
 departures from propriety and discretion. Now 
 all these departures are wrong ; and unremitted 
 vigilance is required of every parent in guarding 
 himself against the commission of errors which 
 jeopardize the future well-being of his children. 
 It would seem enough that he refuses to open 
 his eves to his children's faults; but when in 
 
122 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 their presence he denounces those whom, in the 
 capacity of teachers, he has himself constituted 
 their guardians ; when by hastily espousing 
 their cause he justifies their errors, and encour- 
 ages them to transgress not only by the hope 
 of impunity, but by the promise of retaliation 
 on those very instructors who are faithful 
 enough to correct their misbehaviour, he should 
 be prepared to expect a superabundant crop of 
 evils as the legitimate product of the seed which 
 he has so inconsiderately sown. In exact pro- 
 portion, too, as he has sown the seed, must he 
 expect the crop to be. Although he may have 
 sown but little, there will be a correspondent 
 harvest of real evils, which, at some future day, 
 will be fully developed. 
 
 Even should a parent have good reason to 
 believe that his child had been unduly corrected 
 by a teacher, or unjustly dealt with in some 
 other way, it must be an extreme case indeed, 
 which would render it expedient to disclose to 
 this child his particular views of the affair. A 
 judicious parent would either choose to pass 
 over the matter, or take advantage of a private 
 interview to acquaint the teacher with his opin- 
 ion and feelings. He would value the mainte- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 123 
 
 nance of order and discipline in the school, and 
 his child's respect for the authority of his 
 teacher, at too high a rate to sacrifice them all 
 to a sudden, and, perhaps, an undue resentment. 
 True affection for his child would teach him to 
 suppress his feelings, lest he should encourage 
 a spirit of insubordination ; and justice to the 
 instructor would induce him to suspend his 
 judgment till the latter could be heard in his 
 own vindication. 
 
 Whenever a child prefers a complaint against 
 his instructor, it should be borne in mind that the 
 evidence is, presumptively, in favor of the latter. 
 It is always to be presumed, until facts shall 
 appear to do away the presumption, that a per- 
 son of mature age, of approved character and 
 standing in society, and placed by proper 
 authority in a responsible situation, is more 
 likely to be right than a mere child, inexperi- 
 enced, unformed in character, capricious, and 
 peculiarly liable to err. The ordinary rules of 
 justice would require that this person should be 
 held innocent until sufficient proof to the con- 
 trary should be adduced. With this principle 
 prudence, also, entirely concurs. Let parents, 
 then, be careful how they listen to such allega- 
 
124 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 tions as have been now considered, until they 
 have examined the ground? on which they 
 are made ; and let them be willing to award to 
 Ihe guardians of their children, the same mea- 
 sure of justice which they would not refuse to 
 other persons engaged in the humblest employ- 
 ments. 
 
 On principles not very dissimilar, when a 
 friend, a neighbor, or acquaintance, gives notice 
 to a person that his child has been in fault, and 
 this friend, neighbor or acquaintance, sustains 
 a fLir character for probity, the presumption is 
 that he has told the truth ; and he ought to be 
 credited for what he says until something shall 
 appear to weaken or disprove his allegations. 
 To distrust his information is to consider him 
 as credulous, or dishonest ; to receive it with 
 coldness, is to show him that his further good 
 offices are not desired ; to treat it with an unkind 
 return of words and actions, is a direct act of 
 injustice and a most ungenerous abuse of friend- 
 ship. However badly your child may conduct 
 in future, and however ruinous may be his 
 course, you must thenceforward remain in 
 ignorance of the truth, or learn it from some 
 other quarter. Nor will any other person, ac- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 125 
 
 quainted with the success of former efforts to 
 convey the truth, be forward to volunteer his 
 services in so bootless, and so thankless an 
 undertaking. Yet this very success, or rather 
 want of it, will be widely known, for matters 
 of that kind are not usually kept a secret ; and 
 while some will be pitying you for your mis- 
 fortune, and others reproaching you for your 
 folly, you will remain in ignorance of your 
 need of the one, or your desert of the other. 
 Your child, in the mean time, is advancing in 
 the downward road with no parent to check 
 his career, because he has none who is willing 
 to know where he is, or what he does. In all 
 probability he is himself aware of your unwil* 
 lingness to know the truth respecting him, for 
 rarely is a child deceived in regard to his 
 parent's blindness to his failings. You have 
 removed out of the way the most effectual 
 barrier against his progress in error — a pa- 
 rent's vigilance. In refusing to listen to the 
 disclosure of his faults, you have encouraged 
 him to commit them; and however disastrously 
 his career may terminate, you cannot have the 
 consolation of exclaiming — I am innocent. 
 
CHAPTERVI. 
 
 Parental vigilance.— Indiscriminate yielding to children's requests. — 
 Allowance of spending money — and other means of self indul- 
 gence. — Withholding of restraints. — Ignorance of parents as to 
 the places which their children frequent— their companions— their 
 unseascmable hours — their employments. — Importance of harmony 
 between both parents. — Direct permission of children to be from 
 home in the night season.— Practices in country villages. 
 
 The necessity of parental vigilance, in some 
 of its applications, has been occasionally ad- 
 verted to in the preceding chapters. I shall 
 now consider it more extensively. — By vigil- 
 ance here, I mean an unremitted attention, on 
 the part of the parent, to the formation of the 
 character of his child ; a constant oversight of 
 his conduct ; and a due care that this oversight 
 shall not be withdrawn by himself, nor eluded 
 by the latter. 
 
 As a fraction can never be equal to a whole 
 number, so the character of a child which is 
 formed only in part can never be complete. In 
 proportion as the integrant parts of the cha- 
 racter fail, it must be mutilated and deformed. 
 
EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. UJ 
 
 Knowledge, virtue, health, industry, and skilful- 
 ness in business, are essential parts of a proper 
 education. Let either of these be wanting, and 
 the evil consequences are at once obvious. 
 Of these, health, or bodily vigor, is, in many 
 respects, the least essential to general useful- 
 ness, unless it be impaired in a very consider- 
 able degree ; yet who would willingly suffer 
 any portion of it to be abstracted, and hazard 
 the consequences, if such a loss could, by any 
 attention, be avoided ? Whatever parent, then, 
 neglects either of these particulars in the edu- 
 cation of his child, is guilty of a fault for which 
 he has no excuse, provided he had the power 
 to secure a different result. Yet none need to 
 be told that very many parents do neglect to 
 use all the care and pains which might be em- 
 ployed in relation to these important objects. 
 But I cannot stop here to give each of these 
 topics a separate consideration. There are 
 two or three practices which are in their ten- 
 dency subversive of those objects, on which I 
 shall next submit a few remarks. 
 
 It is quite a prevalent custom with parents 
 seldom, or never, to deny a child any request 
 which it may choose to make, and which he has 
 
128 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 it in his power to bestow. He stops less to in- 
 quire whether the granting of the request will 
 benefit his child, than whether it will prevent 
 its further importunity. This the latter well 
 understands ; and if one simple asking will not 
 suffice, it knows that a little teasing will. — 
 " Ask your mamma," said once a little girl to 
 her playmate, " to give you such a thing," 
 which the former wanted, but which the latter 
 felt conscious she could not obtain. "My 
 mamma," replied she, " will refuse to let me 
 have it if I do ask her." " Oh," rejoined the 
 other, '^ tease her, and you will get it ; I always 
 get what I wish from my mother, by teasing 
 her." — That was the true language of nature. 
 This little child had already learned how to 
 conquer. Her mother had betrayed her own 
 weakness, and nature itself had taught the 
 daughter how to take advantage of it. In her 
 simplicity, too, she thought that all mothers 
 were like her own ; and she had become a 
 tempter of others before she knew what tempta- 
 tion meant. — This brief story illustrates the 
 practice and the folly of many thousand parents, 
 who appear to be unconscious of the mischief 
 which they are causing. They probably never 
 
OFCHILDREN. 129 
 
 once thought of putting the question to them- 
 selves, are we right in giving our children all 
 vrhich they require ; or in allowing ourselves 
 to be overcome by their entreaties, when our 
 better judgments had at first given them a de- 
 nial? — The conduct of such parents is censur- 
 able, in whatever point of view it be considered. 
 It is wrong to multiply the factitious wants of 
 our children by indulging them. There are 
 real and proper ones enough on which we may 
 expend our generosity, and in the supply of 
 which Ave may manifest our paternal desire to 
 gratify our children's feelings, without encour- 
 aging them to demand favors which it would be 
 a kindness in ourselves to withhold, and a 
 cruelty to bestow. The parent who gives solely 
 because his children ask him to give may, if he 
 will, take credit to himself for being kind and 
 indulgent, and for loving them with a superior 
 degree of affection ; but he greatly miscon- 
 ceives the true test of attachment. It is a cha- 
 racteristic of genuine love to seek the best good 
 of its object. In the language of Paul, "love 
 worketh no ill to his neighbor." In conform- 
 ity with this general laAv, then, a parent's love 
 to his child should lead him to promote his 
 12 
 
130 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 welfare, not to gratify his caprices. When- 
 ever the welfare of the latter demands that his 
 wishes should be denied, it is the part of true 
 parental affection to give them a firm denial. 
 To do otherwise is, in fact, downright selfish- 
 ness, however disguised it may be under a 
 specious exterior. How commonly is indulg- 
 ence given to a child, merely because to give 
 it, is easier than to withhold it. It is because 
 the parent himself cannot practise self-denial 
 that he fosters the capriciousness of his off- 
 spring. He may dignify this procedure with 
 the name of parental fondness and kindness, if 
 he pleases ; but the effect is no better than if it 
 originated from malevolence. 
 
 The habitual indulgence of children is not 
 only an evil in itself, as it stands opposed to 
 self-denial, which has always been accounted a 
 virtue of no small magnitude, but it also carries 
 with it a train of other evils. The objects of 
 gratified desire, in very many instances, become 
 themselves sources of new temptation. The 
 child requests permission to peruse some book ; 
 perhaps, to purchase it. The parent, without 
 inquiry into its character, grants the request. 
 By the reading of that book, the moral princi- 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 131 
 
 pies of the child may be completely under- 
 mined, and his ruin made secure ; or, at the 
 least, many false notions of men and things 
 may be infused into his mind, which it may be 
 impossible afterward to eradicate, and which 
 cannot be retained without injury. He asks, 
 and is allowed, to have certain persons for his as- 
 sociates. These associates allure him into vice, 
 cause him to despise what is good, and conduct 
 him in paths which, but for them, he would 
 never have trod. — The practice of indulging 
 children with spending money, to the extent to 
 which it is often carried, is a most fruitful source 
 of temptation, and deserves a particular consi- 
 deration. This, in my own view, is one of the 
 greatest errors into which parents of wealth and 
 fashion generally fall. Here they seem hardly 
 to wait for solicitation, but volunteer to put 
 their children in the road to ruin. A more di- 
 rect way to make a youth a spendthrift could 
 not be devised, than to give him money with- 
 out stint, without direction how to use it, and 
 without accounting for its application. His ad- 
 vances in forming prodigal habits will corre- 
 spond with his means and opportunities for 
 acquiring them ; and in whatever degree these 
 
132 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 exist, he receives a positive injury commensu- 
 rate with the temptation, and the indulgence in 
 which it originated. Let no parent, then, be- 
 lieve that even a partial indulgence in this re- 
 spect is harmless, and that his child is safe 
 because he has not tempted him to the full ex- 
 tent of his ability, or to the extent on which 
 some other parent has ventured in relation to 
 his children. It is not, moreover, very easy, nor 
 very safe, to fix a graduated scale for the 
 measurement of moral evils. What a parent 
 may deem a very moderate allowance of spend- 
 ing money, may suffice to ruin his son. On 
 this point parents are exposed to judge very 
 differently. The man who is worth a hundred 
 thousand dollars is quite likely to consider an 
 allowance as small, which another, worth only 
 the twentieth part of that sum, would consider 
 a very large one. The truth is, he is very prone 
 to estimate this allowance by his own ability to 
 furnish it, rather than its adequacy to supply 
 the proper wants of his child, or its tendency 
 to injure him. He scarcely, if at all, takes into 
 view the question, how much, in the nature of 
 things, is it proper and safe to furnish ; nor 
 even stops to reflect whether there is such a 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 133 
 
 thing as a general principle in the case, appli- 
 cable as a rule of action, and involving a duty 
 which he is not at liberty to disregard. Yet 
 there must be, and is, a general principle here, 
 as vrell as elsewhere, founded in the very na- 
 ture of man, and in the natural connection 
 between causes and effects. No matter whether 
 a parent be rich or poor, honorable or disho- 
 norable, considerate or inconsiderate ; their 
 children are all born with similar dispositions 
 and propensities; with similar aptitudes to re- 
 ceive impressions, good or bad ; and with simi- 
 lar capabilities of being acted on by all the 
 causes which ever operate in the formation of 
 human character. So far as money can ope- 
 rate as a temptation to evil, the child of a 
 rich man, surely, is endowed with no greater 
 natural powers to resist it than the child of the 
 poor man ; and so far as the general manage- 
 ment and contingencies of his education are con- 
 cerned, the probability that he will resist is by 
 no means increased. When a lad, a youth, 
 who knows not what it is to toil for the acqui- 
 sition of property, nor the care and attention 
 which are requisite for its preservation ; and 
 who has learned to attach no other value to 
 12* 
 
134 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 money than its capability of administering to 
 his factitious wants, and the gratifying of appe- 
 tites and desires which ought to be extinguished 
 rather than cherished and indulged, is liberally 
 provided with this commodity notwithstanding, 
 and is suffered to use it as his inclinations shall 
 prompt him, his parents should not — ought 
 not — to be surprised if he becomes extrava- 
 gant, and prodigal. 
 
 Ignorance of the value of property, and pro- 
 fuseness in spending it, are not the only evils 
 attendant on a free allowance of money to the 
 young. It is both the source and the instru- 
 ment of mischief in a variety of forms. The 
 youth who is liberally furnished with this arti- 
 cle is at once tempted to form devices for 
 expending it. His ingenuity is taxed in form- 
 ing plans for the gratifying of appetites which 
 might otherwise have lain dormant. He is 
 beset with tempters, under the name of associ- 
 ates, who, but for this, would have let him alone; 
 but who now excite him to various excesses, 
 with the double motive of securing a com- 
 panion, and of adding something to their own 
 means of gratification. That " money is power," 
 is grown into an adage ; and it is a true one. 
 
O F C H I L D R E N. 135 
 
 It is as truly " power," too, in the hands of the 
 young, as of the old, and for hurtful, as for use- 
 ful purposes. It is the key which unlocks the 
 doors of those haunts where all the panders to 
 the senses dwell ; it is the lever which removes 
 out of the way the obstacles to forbidden en- 
 joyments ; it is the hrihe which hires abettors 
 and procurers of unlawful things, and constrains 
 to secrecy the mouths which would utter tales. 
 How those who plentifully supply their child- 
 ren with the means of procuring almost every 
 species of indulgence, and then send them forth 
 inexperienced and unguarded into places, and 
 leave them in circumstances, where temptations 
 abound, and evil suggestions are multiplied, 
 and the pathway to error is made easy, can ex- 
 pect them to escape the exposure unhurt, would 
 be strange, indeed, were not the practice so 
 common. In many instances, there is reason 
 to believe, the youth is exposed to all that is 
 here intimated without even a premonition of 
 danger ; but even in cases where he may have 
 received some salutary counsels, and the "incul- 
 cation of some correct principles, of how much 
 avail will these be against the allurements and 
 temptations with which they are combatted? 
 
136 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 " Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his 
 clothes not be burnt?" — If we give our child- 
 ren the facilities of mischief and they do not 
 escape, we ought not to avoid the reflections 
 which our conduct may afterward excite. 
 Even if they come forth unharmed, we shall 
 have no cause of self-gratulation, that they 
 have escaped the snares to which we had ex- 
 posed them. — Why do the children of the 
 wealthy so often become idle, and profligate, 
 and squander the estates of their fathers ? is a 
 question often asked, and easily answered. — 
 Why should they not do thus ? it may be asked 
 in return ; what other result ought to be ex- 
 pected ? The parents did all which they could 
 — at least, they did enough, to produce the ef- 
 fect; — and the eff*ect followed in the due 
 course of nature. Happy is it for the children 
 of the poor that their parents are denied the 
 power of so completely tempting them to ruin. 
 A consideration of this kind should reconcile 
 both to their lot, and should stifle in them the 
 feelings of envy towards their wealthier neigh- 
 bors and acquaintances for possessing a source 
 of evils from which they are exempt, but which 
 they are nevertheless too prone to covet, and 
 
OFCHILDREN. 137 
 
 would, in all probability, use no better, if it 
 were their own. 
 
 It is proper to remark that parents strictly 
 wealthy are not the only ones who are liable to 
 err in too liberally furnishing their children 
 with money. There is a fashion in this matter 
 which is often followed because it is the fash- 
 ion, without a consideration of the propriety of 
 so doing. Many err in this particular whose 
 resources are small, and who can but poorly 
 afford this demand upon their purse. But their 
 children "want it;" "the children of Messrs. A, 
 B, C, and D, have money enough at their com- 
 mand, and I do not wish that my children should 
 be thought of lightly, or suffer mortification for 
 the lack of means to make them appear respect- 
 able." — " Our children must do and appear 
 like other children." — The practice of which I 
 am treating is very observable in our cities and 
 larger towns. Children there are furnished 
 with this "root of all evil," to a much greater 
 extent than in the country at large. More ob- 
 jects which are to be bought with money are 
 there presented to the senses, and exposed in 
 very inviting forms. Such presentations pro- 
 duce desire, and this urges the child to apply to 
 
138 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 his parents for the means of gratifying it. The 
 parent, unwilling to deny, grants the request. 
 Success in first petitions encourages the child 
 to repeat and enlarge them ; to grant them be- 
 comes a habit on the part of the parent, and is 
 finally considered a matter of course. Every 
 one is sure to countenance his neighbor in what 
 he does himself; and so a general concert, and 
 tacit agreement, is introduced for giving cur- 
 rency to a practice which puts in jeopardy the 
 essential interests of their children. — Nor is this 
 practice confined to cities and populous towns. 
 Country villages, in the spirit of emulation, fall 
 in with the usages which there prevail, for fash- 
 ion's sake, if for no better reason. Who are 
 such competent judges of fitness and propriety 
 as those who live in the midst of wealth, of bu- 
 siness, of crowds, and of social enjoyments ? To 
 know where a custom originates, is to know 
 whether it is worthy of adoption. Nor are 
 even our village inhabitants the only copiers of 
 metropolitan manners. The family that lives 
 quite retired catches the spirit and the feelings 
 of others whose situation is supposed to give 
 them a rightful dominion in the empire of cus- 
 tom. In short, if a man has the mere present 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 139 
 
 ability to furnish his child with pocket-money, 
 the latter wants it, and custom sanctions the 
 usage, no further inquiry is made about first 
 principles, natural tendencies, and probable 
 dangers. 
 
 These plain and frank-hearted remarks on a 
 practice which is extremely common, may, by 
 some, be deemed too fastidious. It may be 
 thought that the danger is over-rated, and that 
 a course, quite too restrictive, is impliedly re- 
 commended. What has been said, however, is 
 the result of my own convictions derived from 
 thirty years' experience in the management of 
 youth, under a variety of circumstances which 
 have afforded favorable opportunities for per- 
 ceiving the operation of various causes in the 
 formation of their characters, from early child- 
 hood up to maturer years. My opinion, thus 
 gradually and deliberately formed, is, that the 
 whole system of needless indulgences, under 
 different forms and names, is radically wrong, 
 and injurious in its consequences. Among 
 these, the furnishing of children with money be- 
 yond what their proper exigences require, and 
 thus committing to them the power of self in- 
 dulgence to an unknown extent, holds a promi- 
 
140 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 nent place. Other indulgences contribute their 
 respective shares to the grand result, and in 
 their various proportions. The question, why 
 the children of wealthy parents are so often, 
 not always, spoiled, finds here a ready solution, 
 and the evil itself its proper remedy. All must 
 admit that this evil, if it actually exists, has its 
 peculiar cause ; and what other cause, so ade- 
 quate to an efl^ect so distinctive in its character, 
 can be assigned? Were the management of 
 children, thus situated, reversed, would the re- 
 sult be the same ? Could causes, diametrically 
 opposite, and acting on the same subjects, pro- 
 duce the same effects ? 
 
 The withholding of restraints upon children is 
 intimately connected with the granting of in- 
 dulgences. — It is the practice of a great many 
 parents to allow their hoys, especially, to be out 
 of the reach of their inspection, and of their 
 knowledge of what they are doing. These lat- 
 ter are permitted to be absent from home at 
 whatever hour, and for whatever purpose they 
 please, without special leave first obtained, and 
 to return when they choose. No questions are 
 asked in respect to the places of their resort ; 
 the company which they have kept; nor the 
 
OFCHILDREN. 141 
 
 employments which have engaged their atten- 
 tion. If they return late at night, the fact is 
 kept from the knowledge of their parents, or it 
 is tolerated, or but slightly noticed. No ac- 
 count whatever is rendered for any part of their 
 conduct, for none is required; and no anxiety 
 is manifested by the parents lest something 
 should be wrong ; no suspicion betrayed that 
 all is not right. Or should there be a surmise 
 that something was amiss, the expression of it 
 would be so feeble, and the reproof so gentle, 
 that no danger would be inferred to any future 
 repetition of the affair. There is no peremp- 
 tory prohibition of a further offence ; there is 
 hardly an intimation, indeed, that any one is 
 offended. So little is the vigilance which many 
 parents exercise over their children, that the 
 latter frequently advance far in the formation 
 of irregular or dissipated habits, and even so 
 far as almost to exclude the hope of reclama- 
 tion, before a suspicion is excited that they have 
 strayed at all. Often is it the fact that the for- 
 mer are quietly pursuing their business, or sit- 
 ting by their fire-sides musing over their do- 
 mestic prospects in tranquil expectation of hap- 
 piness to come, with entire confidence in their 
 13 
 
142 O N T II E E D U C A T I O N 
 
 children's virtuous and sober habits, while these, 
 at the very moment, are in the midst of scenes, 
 and engaged in pursuits, which, if known or 
 even suspected, would fill their hearts with dis- 
 may. When children once discover that they 
 can easily elude the vigilance of their pfarents, 
 or rather, as often happens, that there is no vi- 
 gilance to be eluded, they are very prone to 
 avail themselves of their advantage. The fear 
 of detection, which is one of the greatest pre- 
 servatives from mischief, is here removed, and 
 full opportunity given to follow the bent of their 
 own inclinations. When this parental watch- 
 fulness is wanting or but feebly interposed, 
 there need be no great wonder at the kind of 
 expedients which are sometimes adopted by the 
 young. I will give only a single specimen of 
 what may be more common than is generally 
 supposed. In one of our large cities was a fa- 
 mily of several sons. By mutual agreement 
 these would retire to rest at an early hour, and 
 as soon as the parents had done the same, all, 
 but one, would silently sally out in quest of 
 such adventures and sports as the theatre and 
 other places of nocturnal revelry might offer. 
 The one who remained behind had it in trust to 
 
OFCHILDREN. 143 
 
 maintain guard, and open the doors to receive 
 his fraternal vagrants when they should return, 
 towards morning, exhausted with the adven- 
 tures of the night. At the next sally, his post 
 was occupied by one of the others, while he 
 went forth with the remainder. Thus they se- 
 verally took their turns with systematical regu- 
 larity, and helped each other to ruin. The pa- 
 rents, and Christian parents too, rested quietly 
 every night without a suspicion of what was 
 transacted, and in the morning viewed their 
 children with fond complacency, and by their 
 easy, unsuspecting, and fond demeanor, proved 
 how much they had become their dupes, and so 
 encouraged them to repeat their delusions. 
 Christian friends were acquainted with these 
 facts, but, for reasons already assigned in the 
 last chapter, were deterred from making them 
 known. Now let me inquire, was all this ig- 
 norance on the part of the parents unavoidable ? 
 Was here a proper vigilance maintained? 
 Friends and neighbors, who had much less op- 
 portunity, and incomparably less interest, to 
 become acquainted with the facts, nevertheless 
 knew them all, and would have been willing to 
 disclose them also, had not another attendant 
 
144 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 error precluded this act of kindness. How- 
 many similar scenes, in different proportions 
 and with varied shades, are dimly represented, 
 Slight after night, through our land, is known 
 only to that Omnipresent Eye to which the 
 darkness and the light are the same. Cases si- 
 milar in character, with many variations of form 
 and degree, certainly are not rare. They form 
 a subject of conversation in even almost every 
 village and state of society, and seem to be un- 
 known to few, excepting those whose know- 
 ledge ought to be greatest. 
 
 Should some one inquire, how is it possible 
 that parents should know what is transacted in 
 their sleep; and if their children will deceive 
 them, although it is a calamity, how is it to 
 be avoided, and how are the former to blame ? 
 I answer, this sort of questioning does not 
 conduct us to a right solution of the diffi- 
 culty. Their error commenced farther back. 
 They had lost their proper hold upon their 
 children by previous neglect. They had, 
 step by step, encouraged them to do as they 
 pleased ; had not held them responsible for 
 what they did, nor where they were , had con- 
 fided in all their representations without the 
 
OFCHILDREN. 145 
 
 pains of ascertaining how far their confidence 
 was well placed ; by fearing no evil themselves 
 had taught them to fear none in return ; and, by 
 all these united, had encouraged them to expect 
 impunity in transgression, or, at least, success 
 in deceiving. This want of parental vigilance, 
 this false security of parents, is the fruitful 
 source of tremendous evils. A child who be- 
 lieves that he is under the continual inspection 
 of his parents, that they make continual inquiry 
 into his conduct, that he can do nothing with- 
 out its coming to their knowledge, that he can- 
 not cheat them with fair speeches, and a feigned 
 look of sobriety, will seldom venture on forbid- 
 den ground. If he is made to account for his 
 conduct, he will view himself accountable, and 
 never without it. He will have a conscience, 
 for he is constrained to have one. He will 
 dread to give his parents trouble, from the fact 
 that he sees they are troubled, and are willing 
 to be troubled, in his behalf. He will try to 
 avoid faults, because he knows that they will 
 inquire into them. He will be cautious how he 
 feigns excuses, when he knows that they will 
 be thoroughly sifted. He will be careful to re- 
 veal the truth, when he sees that other testi 
 13* 
 
146 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 mony will receive credit besides his own. These 
 are fundamental principles, and whatever pa- 
 rent disregards them, will find, sooner or later, 
 that he does so to his cost. 
 
 In the whole process of education it is of vast 
 importance that both parents should harmonize 
 in their views. When one thwarts the other, 
 very serious consequences may follow. Any 
 disagreement here, if acted out, is sure to be 
 known to the children, and to them will often 
 be submitted the important decision, which they 
 will obey ? But when one directly espouses 
 the cause of the children, as they would term 
 it, against the other, the consequences are truly 
 disastrous. Yet such cases exist. To what 
 good purpose can one parent endeavor to be 
 faithful, and vigilantly guard his children from 
 evil, while the other counteracts his efforts with 
 ill-timed interventions 1 When one, in presence 
 of the children, charges the other with undue 
 severity, there must be a prostration of parental 
 authority. There is still another interference 
 which ought not to be unnoticed, and with un- 
 feigned regret do I find occasion for bringing it 
 into view. Mothers, — even so, mothers some- 
 times screen the improper conduct of their elder 
 
OFCHILDREN. 147 
 
 children from the knowledge of their fathers ; 
 not for the sake of sparing his sensibility, but 
 for the purpose of defending them from his re- 
 buke. I know mothers who have done thus, 
 and could call them by name. They have been 
 fully informed of the guilty excesses of their 
 children ; of their nocturnal scrapes, their bad 
 companionship, their profane behaviour and lan- 
 guage ; they have seen in their sons and their 
 daughters things which never ought to have 
 been seen nor done ; and have studiously con- 
 cealed the whole from their father's knowledge. 
 When his suspicions were excited, they have 
 assiduously endeavored to allay them, and been 
 successful, too, in the attempt. The conse- 
 quences have been such as might have been an- 
 ticipated. The behaviour of the children has 
 been proverbially bad ; they have fixed a stigma 
 on themselves, and on their maternal abettors, 
 as lasting as the remembrance of their names. 
 What motives could prompt these persons to 
 such a course, I stop not to inquire. Happy 
 would it be were there no such facts to be men- 
 tioned, and were there no originals for the 
 drawing of such a picture. 
 
 Next to the evil of permitting children to 
 
148 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 elude the inspection of their parents is that of 
 directly allowing them to go where they please, 
 and to be out as long as they please, in the 
 night season. It is truly painful to witness the 
 extent to which this custom is carried. The 
 idea that young people mws^have their licenses 
 and their frolics, and that, if they are restrain- 
 ed, their youthful passions, like waters dammed 
 and pent up, will sooner or later burst forth 
 with the greater violence, is quite too prevalent 
 for one that is so absurd. The passions of men 
 are more like concealed fires, than streams of 
 water, in their nature and effects ; and combus- 
 tion is not retarded by excitation, and by fresh 
 supplies of inflammable materials, but pro- 
 moted. Friction elicits heat in bodies which, 
 without it, would have continued cool ; and a 
 bellows kindles into flame a fire which might 
 otherwise have slumbered. A parent who ex- 
 poses his children to all the collisions of an un- 
 restrained intercourse with companions in noc- 
 turnal revels ; who provides them with the 
 means of procuring hurtful enjoyments ; and 
 who, believing that all this is a matter of 
 course, makes no inquiry as to their places 
 of resort and the manner in which they 
 are employed, does enough to excite all 
 
OFCHILDREN. 149 
 
 their latent energies of evil into action, and 
 gives even more than his tacit consent to their 
 full development. The darkness of night, the 
 absence of reprovers, the consciousness of 
 safety from paternal admonition, the presence 
 of companions mutually exciting each other, 
 the sound of music, the glee of youth, the in- 
 fluence of wine, and the forgetfulness of Hea- 
 ven, unite in subduing their moral sensibilities, 
 and giving them a relish for animal gratifica- 
 tions. Such occasions, often repeated, perma- 
 nently vitiate their taste, and debase their mo- 
 ral and intellectual faculties. How any should 
 suppose that the way to overcome and subdue 
 the vagrant propensities of youth is to give 
 them scope ; to destroy an appetite is to in- 
 dulge it ; and to allay desire is to keep its ob- 
 jects in sight, is not to be accounted for on the 
 common principles of philosophy. Those who 
 think thus must judge from other data than 
 those which are furnished by common expe- 
 rience, or by the success of their own experi- 
 ments. 
 
 In country villages who has not been annoy- 
 ed with collections of boys, noisy and obstrep- 
 erous, at those seasons of the year when the 
 evenings are favorable to such gatherings? 
 
150 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 These boys are to be seen even in front, or in 
 view, of their parents' dwellings, rudely voci- 
 ferous, pert to passers-by, and heedless of com- 
 mon decorum. These are not occasional meet- 
 ings, and held a moderate time for the purposes 
 of recreation, but regularly occur, and continue 
 from supper to bed time. I said, till bed-time 
 
 — it were well if some of them observed that 
 usual hour of repose, instead of stealing away 
 to prowl in quest of some work of darkness. 
 Now parents must admit that they really allow 
 all this, for it is done before their eyes, and in 
 their hearing. But what good do they pro- 
 pose to themselves, or their offspring, by such 
 allowance ? What one useful thing are the lat- 
 ter here learning. How is their health, or their 
 minds, or their manners, here benefitted ? On 
 the contrary how much is lost in point of time, 
 and opportunity for improvement ; how much 
 evil sustained by the acquirement of bad habits. 
 
 — But, "I cannot keep my boys at home," re- 
 plies a parent, " they will be in the streets so 
 long as other boys are there ; I know it to be 
 wrong, yet I cannot prevent it." — A pitiable 
 case, truly ! Your children will not obey you! 
 — What a pity that a father should have such 
 
OFCHILDREN. 161 
 
 children! — that children should have such a 
 father! — Do you not see that the children of 
 some of your neighbors are never seen in those 
 collections ? They have been taught to obey 
 their fathers, and yours might have been taught 
 to do the same, had you discharged your duty. 
 Begin, then, to do what you have so long 
 neglected. Do it patiently, steadfastly, uni- 
 formly ; assert your abandoned parental rights, 
 and you will find that you have obedient child- 
 ren, as well as others. When you shall have 
 succeeded in keeping your boys from the streets, 
 go one step further, and keep them from your 
 village stores, from tavern houses, and other 
 places of idle resort. These country stores 
 are often dangerous from the fact that it is con- 
 sidered less disreputable to congregate there 
 than at taverns ; although the only difference 
 between the places in point of practice and 
 eflect, is that the former give most encourage- 
 ment to what is bad, from having a better name, 
 and affording greater security from detection. 
 Ask your country youth where they have 
 squandered the most hours by night, in tippling 
 and gambling, and in idle and profane discourse ; 
 many of them will tell you, in the stores. In 
 
152 EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 
 
 these mercantile cloisters, as they truly become 
 by their shutters and bolts and bars as soon as 
 the daily customers retire for the night, are 
 often perpetrated deeds which would bear com- 
 parison with their gloomy prototypes. One 
 vicious clerk, with an easy unsuspecting master, 
 can do more mischief in one of these veiled re- 
 cesses, than can well be calculated. Let every 
 parent who values the moral character of his 
 child aright, keep him aloof from places of this 
 description, and from every place where evil, 
 and not good, is acquired. He should teach 
 him to spend his evenings at home, in useful 
 reading and conversation : or in places of pro- 
 per instruction. He should teach him to love 
 home, and the pleasures which are there to be 
 found ; and when the family retire to rest, to 
 follow their example with a conscience unbur- 
 dened with a sense of guilt, and happy in de- 
 serving a parent's blessing. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Choice of schools.— Course frequently pursued in selecting one. — 
 What are proper inquiries to be made respecting schools — Pa- 
 rental conduct towards children when at school. — Representations 
 of the likes and dislikes of the latter— how to be received.— Siding 
 with the child against the teacher— directly— and indirectly. — 
 Selection of proper situations for business — things to be regarded. 
 
 The observations which have thus far been 
 made have respect to the care and management 
 of children while they remain under the parental 
 roof But it is not always, even during their 
 minority, that they can remain there. Their 
 parents oftentimes have occasion, and are in 
 duty required, to place them in schools away 
 from home, or to apprentice them to some busi- 
 ness, or in some other way to dispose of them. 
 Some remarks, therefore, in relation to the 
 errors which are, or may be, committed in this 
 disposal of children may very properly be made 
 in connection with what has preceded. 
 
 When a parent is called upon to select a 
 school in which to place a child, it would seem 
 14 
 
154 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 to be an obvious dictate of good sense that he 
 should endeavor to find one where the mind 
 should be most effectually cultivated, and where 
 the morals, manners, general habits, and health, 
 should be best promoted.* Every one must be 
 the judge of his own ability to defray the school 
 expenses of his child ; but whatever he may 
 judge himself able to devote to this important 
 object, it is fit that he should lay it out to the 
 best advantage ; — that he should derive as much 
 benefit as possible from a given sum in a given 
 time. The general inquiry, however, seems to 
 be, where does schooling come the cheapest? 
 That point ascertained, the whole business is 
 settled. How much is learned, of good or evil, 
 is never taken into the account ; nor is it con- 
 sidered what actually constitutes an article dear 
 or cheap, beyond the price which is paid for it ; 
 — the value received makes no part of the esti- 
 mate. A school is a school ; and the tiw,e 
 which a child has been in one, together with 
 the assumption of a few appropriate airs, is the 
 only criterion of his acquisitions. 
 
 * It need hardly be remarked that schools of a higher order, 
 to which children are sent from abroad, are intended in these 
 remarks. 
 
O F C H I L D R £ N . 155 
 
 Some, however, do make inquiries into the 
 character of different schools, before they ven- 
 ture to place their children in them. But per- 
 haps these inquiries are confined to the single 
 point, whether the scholars are suited with 
 them ? If these are satisfied, all is well ; al- 
 though the very reasons for this satisfaction 
 may be, that they are suffered to have their 
 own way, with little or no restraint ; to study 
 no more than they please ; to recite but seldom, 
 and then without correction ; to misspend their 
 time without reproof; and to engage in mis- 
 chief without the fear of being detected. Such 
 schools, beyond all question, are the delight of 
 very many young masters and misses. — "Why 
 do you send your son to such a school?" in- 
 quired one gentleman of another. " Because 
 he is so greatly pleased with it," was the reply. 
 " What is it that so much pleases him ?" " Oh, 
 he goes off to hunt and to fish, to be on the 
 water, and to amuse himself in various ways, 
 as often as he chooses." " But, does he learn 
 well?" " No, not as well as he did before he 
 went there." " Why, then, do you continue 
 him where he is ?" " He likes the place, and I 
 love to gratify him." This brief conversation 
 
156 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 discloses the kind of feelings by which not a 
 few parents are governed in this important 
 matter. To gratify the irregular wishes of 
 their children at any risk, rather than to guide 
 and control them, seems to be their chief aims. 
 In seeking information respecting a particular 
 school, they address their inquiries to the pupils 
 themselves, indiscriminately, without a know- 
 ledge of their characters, and of the motives 
 which may influence their responses. It not 
 unfrequently happens that the very individuals 
 relied on for information, are the last to whom 
 application should be made ; individuals who 
 have been under censure, and who, in the mo- 
 ment of resentment, are ready to retaliate on 
 those who disturbed their tranquillity. Every 
 literary institution, from the university down 
 to the simplest primary school, is liable to 
 temporary disquietudes and commotions, not 
 unlike the occasional agitations of the atmo- 
 sphere, or the epidemical outbreakings of 
 disease. There is a distempered state of these 
 communities^ during the continuance of which 
 objects are made to appear distorted, and truth 
 and reason give place to visions of the imagina- 
 tion. Yet there are not wanting those who will 
 
OFCHILDREN. 157 
 
 suffer their opinion of a school to be biased by 
 representations of youth while infected with this 
 disease, and who even imbibe the contagion in- 
 to their own systems. — Now it is strange that 
 any should not see that the real merits of a 
 school are but poorly ascertained from such 
 ambiguous sources. I do not say that the tes- 
 timony of scholars themselves is never to be 
 regarded; nor that, in certain circumstances 
 and in connection with other evidences, it may 
 not be valuable. But to rely exclusively on 
 this when other, and more certain, evidence 
 might be had, can be neither wise nor safe. It 
 is committing too much to the whims and freaks 
 of childhood and youth, and prematurely trust- 
 ing to judgments which were never formed. 
 Order, decorum, industry, and virtuous re- 
 straint are not precisely the traits of character 
 in a school which are wont to draw forth the 
 highest encomiums from youthful minds : but 
 they are traits which a judicious parent must 
 know how to prize, and for the want of which 
 no other good qualities can make an adequate 
 atonement. 
 
 The proper inquiries concerning a school 
 are, is the instruction thorough, and is there 
 14* 
 
158 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 enough of it ; — is good care taken of the moral 
 principles and habits of the pupils ; — are they 
 trained to order, industry, and economy: — or 
 are these things attended to but in part, or su- 
 perficially? As every school is sure to claim 
 for itself to be a good one, and as there is never 
 any difficulty in obtaining signatures to almost 
 any high-wrought recommendations in its favor, 
 either from persons interested in its support, or 
 from such good-natured individuals as are ever 
 ready to lend their names to all who ask them, 
 it would be well if parents would ascertain for 
 themselves what are the instruments and means 
 provided for the accomplishment of what is 
 promised. It is not uncommon to hear the 
 funds of some literary institution, or a new and 
 elegant building recently erected, spoken of in 
 commendation of its merits. But it should be 
 remembered that neither funds nor buildings 
 constitute instruction, nor confer talents on 
 teachers, nor give a sure pledge for the protec- 
 tion of morals, and the formation of general 
 character. Funds may render tuition cheap, 
 but they do not determine its quality ; and a 
 splendid edifice may gratify the eye, without 
 furnishing the head with knowledge, and with- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 159 
 
 out improving the heart. It would be far more 
 useful to the parent to know whether there is 
 but one instructor to perhaps forty pupils, or 
 one to twelve or fifteen ; and whether the in- 
 structor himself possesses sufficient scholarship 
 to become the teacher of others. It is not enough 
 to know that a teacher has been honored with 
 a college diploma, — these diplomas are but poor 
 vouchers of literary merit. They are evidence, 
 indeed, that a man has been where knowledge 
 was to be had, but they do not very accurately 
 show how much he has gained. — A parent's 
 inquiries should refer to the indispensables for 
 constituting a good school, and to evidence 
 which will not prove deceptive. If they are 
 directed to matters which are foreign to the 
 purpose, or delusory in their nature, disappoint- 
 ments must frequently ensue. How much, and 
 how often, do the scholars recite? — are they 
 required to be regular and industrious, or are 
 they allowed to spend much of their time in 
 parties of pleasure, and in rambles for their 
 amusement? — and when, in consequence of 
 such engagements or some other misspense of 
 time, they stay away from recitations, or come 
 unprepared, are they called to no account, or 
 
160 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 are they easily excused ? are inquiries of im- 
 portance, but which are too seldom made. 
 There are schools where all this remissness 
 may be found, which are nevertheless popular. 
 But would they be popular were their merits 
 estimated by the actual progress of their pupils 
 in useful knowledge, and in other valuable ac- 
 quisitions ? How different an opinion would 
 parents form of the character of schools, would 
 they request a competent friend to examine 
 their children in the studies which they had pur- 
 sued, and so ascertain the actual progress which 
 they had made. If, on such examination, they 
 should be found deficient in improvement, the 
 next inquiry would naturally be directed to the 
 cause? Was it the remissness or incompe- 
 tence of the instructor ; or was it the negli- 
 gence, or dullness of the children ? If it was 
 either of the former, the remedy would be a 
 change of schools ; if it was the negligence of 
 the child, let the parent co-operate faithfully 
 with the instructor to produce a reform ; if it 
 was his dullness, let not the parent blame the 
 instructor for not achieving an impossibility. 
 
 We will now suppose that a parent has 
 placed his child at a school where every thing 
 
OFCHILDREN. 161 
 
 is conducted on the part of the instructors, as 
 it should be. What then is to be done ? As 
 my general object Is to point out errors, I will 
 rather suggest what is not to be done. — If the 
 child writes home that he is highly delighted 
 with his situation, and gives a very flattering 
 account of himself, and of every thing around 
 him, the parent is not, without examination, to 
 take it for granted that there is proper ground 
 for all this satisfaction. The real cause of 
 this flattering picture may be, that he is suf- 
 fered to do just as he pleases ; — he can play 
 when he ought to study ; can be insolent with- 
 out reproof; and can plot and execute a school- 
 boy's pranks without detection, or with such a 
 gentle admonition as amounts to a connivance, 
 and emboldens him to repeat his mischievous 
 adventures. It may be that he finds much to 
 pamper his animal appetites, and little to stimu- 
 late him to intellectual labor. It may be that 
 he can practise many immoralities without fear 
 or restraint, and receive commendation for what 
 deserved rebuke. It would be well, then, to 
 ascertain from imexceptionable sources, why it 
 is that the child is so well satisfied ; and this 
 can generally be done, if the necessary pains 
 
162 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 are taken. But it is a truth, as has been already 
 intimated, that many parents rest easy so long 
 as their children are gratified, and never think 
 of making inquiries into the cause ; nay more, 
 they will even humor the inclinations of the 
 latter, when they know is to be done at the 
 expense of their moral and intellectual improve- 
 ment. 
 
 Again, if a child writes home to his parents 
 in a discontented tone, complains that he has 
 too little liberty, and that the discipline is 
 severe ; this affords no certain evidence that 
 his complaints are just. He may possess an 
 uneasy, or an indolent disposition, which his 
 instructors have endeavored to correct ; he may 
 have had a thousand imaginary wants which 
 have not been supplied; he may have been 
 arrested in some favorite, but mischievous 
 course ; he may have found it difficult to suc- 
 ceed in his wayward pranks ; he may have 
 been recently punished for a fault ; or, what is 
 equally to the purpose, he may be conscious of 
 having committed one, and be dreading the con- 
 sequences of detection. He may have uttered 
 his complaints under the influence of any one 
 of these motives, or all of them combined, and 
 
OFCHILDREN. 163 
 
 with no just occasion for them whatever. He 
 may have received the most judicious and pro- 
 per treatment, with all the lenity which the 
 case admitted. Who that is acquainted with 
 human nature does not know that the passions, 
 inclinations and habits, of either young or old, 
 do not quietly yield to counteraction ; that an 
 offender is not wont to praise either the mea 
 sures or the agents employed for his reclama- 
 tion ; and that one given to self-indulgence, 
 views, with little complacency, the hand which 
 thwarts his gratifications. Now, if a parent, 
 on the reception of such complaints, gives full 
 credence to them without investigating the facts 
 in the case, he incurs the risk of injuring the 
 child, and of doing injustice to his instructors. 
 If he openly takes the part of his child, blames 
 the instructors in his hearing, sympathizes with 
 him, and caresses him as if with new affection, 
 he prostrates, even if the child were wrongly 
 dealt by, the authority of others over him. But 
 should it turn out, as it commonly will, that the 
 child has complained without cause, and that 
 the instructors have only discharged their duty, 
 the parent, by taking such a course, abets him 
 in his faults, and hurries him to ruin. He is 
 
164 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 providing ample materials for his own future 
 humiliation and sorrow ; and he will be con- 
 vinced of his folly when the opportunity of 
 remedying it will be lost. Yet there are pa- 
 rents who conduct precisely in this manner ; 
 who believe, without inquiry, all that their 
 children tell them, and encourage them in trans- 
 gression by espousing their cause, and vindicat- 
 ing their errors. The more common evil, how- 
 ever, is not to side directly, and openly, with 
 their children in cases of this sort; oh no, — 
 they are altogether too wise, and too discreet 
 for that. They will express themselves so very 
 guardedly ; will pass such prudent commenda- 
 tions on the instructors ; will entertain such 
 strong hopes that their children did not mean 
 to conduct so as to grieve them ; and will have 
 so many comforting things to suggest, as will 
 readily convince the offenders that their parents 
 are quite as well prepared to blame their in- 
 structors as themselves. The very fact that 
 instructors are not justified as well as not 
 directly blamed, by the parents, will commonly 
 convince the children that the latter espouse 
 their cause ; but the smallest expression of con- 
 dolence, any intimation of sympathy, the same 
 
OFCHILDREN. 165 
 
 affectionate treatment as though nothing had 
 happened, will be seized upon not only as com- 
 plete proof that they are acquitted by their 
 parents of blame as it respects the past, but as 
 a token of future acquittal. 
 
 It may be laid down as a maxim, to which I 
 know no exceptions, that a child who is refrac- 
 tory at school cannot be reclaimed by his in. 
 structors without the co-operation and support 
 of his parents ; or, in default of them, of his 
 legitimate guardians. So long as there is a 
 prospect of successful appeal to this ulterior 
 tribunal, the resolve will be to make it ; and 
 the appellant will govern his conduct according 
 to that decision which he expects to prevail. It 
 is folly to suppose that the authority of a 
 teacher will ever prove paramount to that of 
 a parent ; even a small abatement of it is suffi- 
 cient, in most cases, to undermine the whole, 
 and to render all attempts to assert it nugatory. 
 This is not theory, but a truth founded on am- 
 ple experience. Multitudes of children are 
 dismissed from our public schools, solely be- 
 cause the authority and wholesome require- 
 ments of the instructors are not sustained at 
 home. This may not, indeed, be the commence- 
 15 
 
166 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 merit of the evil, but such is the consummation. 
 The foundation of this indomitable temper 
 which has come to this result, may have been, 
 and usually has been, laid in the early failure 
 of the parents to subdue it, or, what is Avorse, 
 in their direct encouragement. "A child, when 
 at school, soon shows whether he has been go- 
 verned at home," has grown into an adage, the 
 truth of which no instructor will be much 
 disposed to question. Even a stubborn and 
 refractory child will soon evince by his conduct 
 whether he has been accustomed to parental 
 discipline. It is not the mere possession of 
 natural stubbornness, and refractoriness, of 
 of spirit, which forms the criterion of judging 
 in such cases, for these the best governed child 
 may naturally have ; but it is the hesitating, 
 suppressed, and chastened manner in which 
 they are exhibited ; or else in their bold ebulli- 
 tions, and in an insolent disregard of authority. 
 A previously well governed child, when cor- 
 rected for a fault, never tells his instructor, nor 
 intimates to him, that his parents, if they knew 
 it, would not permit him to be corrected ; he is 
 cautious, rather, that his correction shall not come 
 to their knowledge, lest he should receive it in 
 
OFCHILDREN. 167 
 
 still greater measure. Such a child fears his pa- 
 rents more, not less, than he does his instructors, 
 and they are the last persons to whom he would 
 appeal for redress of his imaginary grievances. 
 Were they to be acquainted with his misde- 
 meanors, and the consequent trouble in which 
 they involved him, he would expect some sterner 
 language of address than many offenders hear 
 on such occasions. He would not expect the 
 first salutation to be commenced with "my 
 dear," and followed with a kiss ; nor to receive 
 all the customary caresses and tokens of affec- 
 tion as though nothing had happened, with no 
 inquiries about his offence, and with no evidence 
 of his contrition. Having received a letter 
 from his parents, or having had an interview 
 with them, he would not be able to give to 
 some over-curious or sarcastic companion, that 
 should inquire what they said to him, the tri- 
 umphant reply, that they said nothing; — it 
 would be a question which he would have little 
 inclination either to hear, or to answer. When, 
 after the receipt of such a letter, or after such 
 an interview, a schoolboy swells with import- 
 ance ; gives out his inuendoes that Mr. 
 
 will not venture to repeat what he has done ; 
 
168 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 continues insolent in his behaviour, and shows 
 a fearlessness of the future, it requires no 
 prophet's vision to penetrate the cause. It is 
 not necessary that a parent should say to his 
 child, in so many words, I find no fault with 
 what you have done; or you have done per- 
 fectly right, and your teacher has been too 
 hasty, or inconsiderate, or to blame; — every 
 child, as fully as an adult, knows the different 
 meaning between a kind, gracious reception, 
 and a reserved and formal one; — he knows 
 that the one admits him forthwith to wonted 
 favor, and that the other defers it till interpos- 
 ing difficulties be removed. He knows that 
 reproof is not conveyed in the language of 
 complacency, and that displeasure for a fault is 
 not expressed by caresses. He perceives that 
 his parent, though sufficiently fond to shield 
 him from blame, intends also to be civil ; and 
 that the instructor is not to be censured without 
 the observances of good breeding. 
 
 There is a mistake, yet different, into which 
 a parent sometimes falls. He intends to be 
 strict with his children ; never to justify them 
 in their faults ; and to sustain the authority of 
 those under whose guardianship they are placed 
 
OFCHILDREN. 169 
 
 by his own act. He has, nevertheless, a greater 
 partiality for his children than he is aware. He 
 makes great allowances for their faults. On 
 his catalogue of childish errors there are very 
 many venial ones — "such as they will natu- 
 rally out-grow," he receives accusations against 
 them, but with very critical examination ; he 
 even admits that his children have done wrong, 
 — "but then has not their instructor gone 
 rather too far? He would not say this to them 
 for all the world;" — but his whole demeanor 
 shows them that he thinks so. Then, perhaps, 
 begins the reproof. " My dear child, father is 
 very much grieved that his dear child has had 
 such a story circulated against him. You 
 know, my dear, that I never allow such things. 
 You have read good books which forbid them, 
 and have seen how they look when committed 
 by other boys. / hope that things have been 
 somewhat overstated, else I do not know how 
 badly I should feel. Now, my dear, if you have 
 really done as it is said, own it all, and I shall 
 be willing to forgive you, and so, I have no 
 
 doubt, will be Mr. , your instructor. I do 
 
 not wish you, my dear, to own any thing which 
 you have not done, but father cannot bear to 
 15* 
 
170 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 see his son charged with a wrong act without 
 knowing the truth." — The child, perhaps, con- 
 fesses a part, and denies a part, of the allega- 
 tions brought against him. So far as the con- 
 fession goes, he is at once, and without com- 
 ment, forgiven, and his word is taken for the 
 rest. The parent remits him to the care of his 
 teacher in the full belief of his repentance, and 
 future amendment. If the teacher, however, 
 should exhibit some mistrust of the genuineness 
 of this reformation, and intimate an opinion 
 that some more searching operation was needed 
 to accomplish a cure, the parent would deem 
 him quite uncharitable, and his views of govern- 
 ment much too rigid and austere. All this 
 while the parent would consider himself a pat- 
 tern of orthodoxy on the subject of a strict — 
 very strict — education of children; would ex- 
 patiate largely on its importance; refer to cases 
 where a neglect of it had been attended with 
 disastrous consequences ; commend the instruc- 
 tor for his well meant fidelity ; and wish that 
 other parents would take better care of their 
 children. 
 
 I took occasion to speak, in another place, of 
 the reluctance of many parents to hear the 
 
O F C H I L D R E N. 171 
 
 faults of their children mentioned by friends 
 and neighbors. The" reluctance is not less 
 when the mention of faults is made by instruc- 
 tors, although the manifestation of it may be 
 more guarded, on the score of the general duty 
 which is devolved on the latter, and the mani- 
 fest propriety of their fulfilling it. But neither 
 duty nor propriety is sufficient to screen them 
 from the censure of some who are more anxious 
 to shield their children from the imputation of 
 blame, than from the commission of wrong. 
 Whenever a teacher informs a parent that his 
 child has conducted amiss, the presumption cer- 
 tainly is, that he tells the truth. The character 
 of our public teachers is always, may I not say, 
 such as to afford a pledge that they will speak 
 the truth. Their interest, clearly, is such as 
 to induce them never to bring an ill report 
 against a pupil without cause ; and even with 
 one, they are under a strong temptation to 
 maintain silence. The fact is, the temptation 
 to conceal the misconduct of their pupils from 
 the knowledge of parents, both on account of 
 the reputation of the school, and the well 
 known aversion of the parents to be informed 
 of this sort of truth, is so very powerful, that 
 
172 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 few instructors summon up sufficient resolution 
 to perform the ungracious office. To obtain 
 their good will, many instructors conceal from 
 them almost every thing that is wrong in the 
 conduct of their scholars ; to avoid their dis- 
 pleasure, others disclose but a very little of 
 what is amiss ; and none exaggerate their pu- 
 pils' misdeeds, against every motive that can be 
 named. While the instructor has thus no mo- 
 tive to prefer fictitious charges against his pu- 
 pil, or to exaggerate those which are well 
 founded, the pupil, on the other hand, has 
 strong inducements, if he be really in fault, to 
 hide his guilt, and to practise on a parent's cre- 
 dulity. A sense of shame, the love of carrying 
 a point, the desire of some indirect retaliation 
 on his teacher, the hope of transgressing in fu- 
 ture with impunity, and the wish Xo maintain 
 himself in his parent's good graces, all tempt 
 him to resort to deception. If he is tired with 
 the restraints of the place, now is the time to 
 bring surmises and reports against it. If he 
 can make his parents believe that he is injured 
 and abused, he knows that he shall triumph. In 
 anticipation of this glorious event he already 
 bids farewell to scenes and things which have 
 
OFCHILDREN. 173 
 
 no charms for a spirit like his. — With all these 
 truths staring him in the face, how can a parent 
 justify himself in resenting the faithfulness of a 
 teacher who informs him of his children's 
 faults; in giving credence to all their com- 
 plaints and representations, both against and 
 without evidence, and in being more ready to 
 impute blame to men of years, of tried inte- 
 grity, and worth, than to inexperienced, thought- 
 less, headstrong boys, even if these boys hap- 
 pen to be their own sons ? When will parents 
 learn that their own sons can do wrong ; that 
 descent from themselves confers no exclusive 
 prerogatives — no exemption from the common 
 attributes of humanity? — that transgression in 
 their children is the same thing as transgres- 
 sion in those of other people ; and that a teach- 
 er, when he censures the conduct of their sons, 
 or daughters, is just as worthy of credit and 
 confidence as when he does the like in respect 
 to the children of other men ! Let parents love 
 their offspring with all the ardor which their 
 relation to them warrants ; but let not their 
 love degenerate into idolatry, and folly ; let it 
 not destroy their sense of moral obligation, nor 
 make them forget those social ties which bind 
 
174 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 themselves to the rest of mankind, nor the dic- 
 tates of. impartial justice. I do not ask them 
 to value the truth for its own sake merely — for 
 there is, in reality, no such thing — but I would 
 invite them to value and abide by it, for their own 
 and their children's sake, and for the happy con- 
 sequences which would inevitably follow. There 
 is no necessity that a parent should be blind to 
 his children's characters, any more than he should 
 be blind to their height, or color. God has given 
 him powers of mental perception, and made 
 him accountable for their right use. If he sinks 
 them in a blind partiality, or prostitutes them 
 to selfish feelings and ends, he sins against the 
 appointment of Heaven, and contravenes the 
 very object which he professes to seek. In- 
 stead of treating the instructor, who is so honest 
 and faithful as to inform him of his children's 
 faults, with coldness or resentment, the parent 
 ought to thank him for the performance of an 
 act of kindness, and, by a prompt co-operation, 
 to profit by the intelligence. By such a course 
 many a child would be reclaimed, and rescued 
 from future evil, who now, through a misplaced 
 partiality, and untimely sympathy, is encour- 
 aged to a progressive perseverance in error. 
 Most of the remarks which have now been 
 
OFCHILDREN. 175 
 
 made in relation to the treatment of children 
 when placed at school, will apply to the treat- 
 ment of them when put in other situations. If 
 a parent designs to put his son an apprentice 
 to some trade, or business, or to send him from 
 home in pursuit of any employment, prudence 
 would dictate that he should look well to the 
 temptations and exposures which the youth 
 will be called to encounter. Yet, if I mistake 
 not, parents are prone more to inquire whether 
 a situation or employment will prove to be lu- 
 crative, than whether it is safe from temptation. 
 They are sufficiently ready to inquire about 
 prospects of gain, and to provide for the dress, 
 and genteel appearance of their sons ; but ask 
 few questions how they spend their leisure 
 hours, to what places they resort, and with 
 whom they associate. Nor do they inquire so 
 much whether the person who employs them is 
 exemplary in his own behaviour, and a vigilant 
 guardian to those whom he has taken into his 
 business, as whether he is good-natured and 
 easy. But in many cases, and nearly always 
 in our populous towns and cities, it makes little 
 difference whether the employer is himself a 
 correct manager in this respect, for he seldom 
 
176 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 boards his clerks, or apprentices, in his own fa- 
 mily. They are left to find quarters where 
 they please, or where they can, with no respon- 
 sible person to watch their conduct, or sound 
 an alarm on the approach of danger. What 
 wonder is it, if multitudes, thus situated, fall into 
 the seductive snares which beset their path, and 
 terminate their course in shame and poverty ? 
 A parent ought to consider that property is de- 
 sirable only as the means of usefulness and hap- 
 piness to its possessor; and that a person can 
 attain to neither without habits of virtue, in- 
 dustry, and economy. These latter are to be 
 sought and obtained as first in order ; because 
 without them property, if possessed, would be 
 prostituted to vile purposes, and be soon squan- 
 dered ; and with them, he has the means of sup- 
 port in his own hands, and resources on which 
 he can draw in all his future progress through 
 life. I repeat it, therefore, let these be first ob- 
 tained ; and let every parent see to it that he 
 inculcates them on his children. Let him never 
 place them where these shall be exposed to risk. 
 In seeking a situation for his son abroad, let his 
 first and main inquiry be, where can I place 
 him free from danger to his moral, industrious, 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 177 
 
 and economical habits ? Should a situation be 
 presented ever so alluring with regard to pro- 
 spects of immediate or future gain, but holding 
 out temptations to vice and idleness, or in any 
 way calculated to draw a youth away from vir- 
 tue and a regular attention to his business, let 
 him pause before he subjects his son to such a 
 hazard. Let him also see that he does not lay 
 the foundation of his ruin at home, before he 
 commits him to new and untried circumstances 
 abroad. If he does not previously fortify him 
 against future perils by a careful and diligent 
 formation of early habits, and the infusion of 
 right principles, he is himself instrumental in 
 producing the evils which shall afterwards en- 
 sue. It is not to be expected that one who has 
 received the elements of corruption at home, 
 with greater checks and fewer temptations, will 
 escape unharmed with less restraint, and with 
 more numerous incitements to a profligate life. 
 16 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Containing general observations. — Ear Jy condition of those now in 
 middle life, and possessed of properly and reputation — Condition, 
 at this period, of those whose parents were wealthy.— Causes of 
 the different results.— Danger of departing from the republican 
 simplicity of our fathers. — Right education of our youth connected 
 with the future welfare of the country. 
 
 Should we inquire into the early histories 
 of those men in our country who are now in 
 middle life, and in possession of wealth and an 
 honorable fame, we should find that most of 
 them were of humble though respectable origin, 
 and began the world with poverty, or with an 
 outfit at best but moderate. We should find 
 that very few of them, indeed, were the inheri- 
 tors of wealth ; and all of them would inform 
 us, that they had been strict observers of indus- 
 try, and regular attention to business. On the 
 other hand should we search the histories of 
 those whose fathers were wealthy, Ave should 
 find a large proportion of them, at that period 
 of life, reduced in property, and many of them 
 poor. We should also discover that most of 
 
EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 179 
 
 these individuals had fallen into this condition 
 in consequence of idle, and dissolute habits; or 
 from their ignorance of business, and inatten- 
 tion to its concerns. So far as there should be 
 honorable exceptions to this class, we should 
 learn that the persons embraced by it had pur- 
 sued a different course — had been early taught 
 the value of property, and trained to industry 
 and economy. Perhaps their parents had been 
 blamed by their more knowing acquaintance 
 for their parsimonious views, and unnecessary 
 strictness ; and themselves been subjected in 
 their youthful days to much criticism on their 
 needless observance of parental whims, and 
 their premature advancement to the sobriety of 
 old men. It has been oftentimes remarked that 
 in our own country, where there are no laws of 
 entailment, family estates are never transmitted 
 beyond the third generation ; — that they sel- 
 dom remain unimpaired in the hands of the se- 
 cond, — and are commonly lost even by the first. 
 This remark has been the result of experience 
 and observation, and it corroborates what I 
 have now advanced. I suppose, however, that 
 my general position will he recognised as true 
 
180 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 by all who are acquainted with the general 
 state of society as it here exists. 
 
 If the statement which I have now made is 
 no more than correct in the main, it presents a 
 subject for contemplation by no means flatter- 
 ing to human pride. The thought that one's 
 labors, and well-earned honors and possessions, 
 instead of redounding to the ultimate benefit 
 and happiness of his descendants, will contri- 
 bute to their injury, is sufficient to produce 
 very unwelcome anticipations, and to overcast 
 the future with shadows which can hardly fail 
 to darken, to a greater or less extent, the pre- 
 sent sunshine of his prosperity. But is such a 
 state of things natural, and necessary ; or is it 
 artificial, and avoidable ? This is a grave 
 question, and merits consideration. 
 
 It will not be pretended that the possession 
 of wealth, honors, and distinction by the parent, 
 can of itself have any influence on the native 
 powers of his child. — His child comes into 
 the world with the same pliability of faculties, 
 with the same capability of receiving good or 
 bad impressions, and of being moulded and 
 formed to right or wrong action as other chil- 
 dren. If he is exposed by his situation to some 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . 181 
 
 temptations from which the son of a poor man is 
 exempt, so too is he free from some to which the 
 other is exposed, and enjoys advantages which 
 the other does not possess. We must look, 
 then, for the causes of the evil in question be- 
 yond any natural condition in which the sons 
 of the wealthy are placed, and trace it to others 
 more likely to produce the effect. Now what 
 should be more likely to produce it than a course 
 of education and treatment just the reverse of 
 those which were attended with success in the 
 case of the parents themselves, and precisely 
 the same as those which have been found, by 
 uniform experience, to have a disastrous issue ? 
 Were the children of the wealthy trained to 
 regular, virtuous, sober, and industrious habits; 
 were they taught the practice of self-denial, in- 
 stead of being accustomed to unbounded indulg- 
 ence ; were they instructed in the business of 
 acquiring and keeping property, instead of be- 
 ing allowed and incited to spend it ; were they 
 taught to appreciate its value and its legitimate 
 uses, rather than to view it as worthless for any 
 other purpose than that of dissipation ; were 
 they brought to believe that frugality and in- 
 dustry are honorable, and that idleness and ex- 
 16* 
 
182 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 travagance are mean and contemptible ; — were 
 they made — yes, were they made to believe 
 and practise thus, then should we see them 
 pursuing a career as felicitous in its progress 
 and termination, as it usually is calamitous. 
 Whatever may be the natural abilities, tempers, 
 and dispositions of men, it must be acknow- 
 ledged that what is commonly called character 
 is acquired. The former are subject to innu- 
 merable modifications, and from these the latter 
 is formed. " Just as you would have me, make 
 me," may, without much hyperbole, be address- 
 ed to every parent by his child. On all the 
 diversified characters of men the lineaments 
 of their education are drawn with a visible im- 
 press which cannot be mistaken, and indicate 
 with clearness the process by which they were 
 formed. — 1 do not subscribe entirely to the 
 opinion which has been advanced by some, that 
 if parents would discharge the whole of their 
 duty to their children, faithfully and con- 
 scientiously, the latter would never go astray. 
 I know of no M^arrant, either from Scripture, or 
 experience, that such would be the uniform re- 
 sult. Our first parents were created holy, and 
 endowed with intelligence equal, we may sup- 
 
OFCHILDREN. 183 
 
 pose, to that of their descendants ; they had the 
 Great Father of us all for their immediate 
 guide and counsellor ; they were beset with the 
 fewest conceivable temptations to err, and had 
 every inducement to do well. Yet, under all 
 these circumstances they went astray. What 
 assurance have we, then, that the utmost fidelity 
 of parents, as the world now is, will secure the 
 virtue and happiness of their children? Still 
 we have ample reason to believe that were they 
 as faithful as they might be, and as their duty 
 demands, the instances of such gross aberra- 
 tion on the part of children as we now witness 
 would be comparatively rare. The cases to 
 which I have just alluded, and which have been 
 adverted to in the preceding pages, are suffi- 
 cient to account for most of the disastrous 
 effects which we deplore. Were they removed, 
 and more appropriate ones substituted in their 
 room, far happier results would meet our eyes, 
 and gladden our hearts. 
 
 Let it not be supposed, that in what has been 
 said respecting the children of the wealthy, ex- 
 clusive or invidious reference is had to them. 
 Their case, in some particulars, is a prominent 
 one, both as it regards their peculiar advantages, 
 
184 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 and their peculiar exposures. When property 
 is consecrated to a good use, it dignifies its pos- 
 sessor, and benefits mankind. Hence its per- 
 version to wrong uses excites general regret ; 
 and the evil which is done is the more conspi- 
 cuous from the influence on society which pro- 
 perty gives to its owner. But we havp many 
 parents who, with moderate means, and there- 
 fore with the less excuse, tread in the steps of 
 their wealthier neighbors, and indulge their 
 children in expensive habits which they cannot 
 afford. They exhibit the same inattention to 
 the formation of their characters ; and are en- 
 titled to the same animadversion on the general 
 course which they pursue, with the additional 
 consideration, that they err against peculiar 
 motives to adopt a different procedure. The 
 happy progress of their children through life is 
 dependent, in a manner which cannot be mis- 
 taken, on their habits of industry and economy. 
 As these start in the world, not only is " a good 
 name," emphatically to them, " better than 
 riches;" — it is all the wealth which they have. 
 This truth should be impressed on their minds 
 by every method which is fitted to render it ef- 
 fective and indelible. 
 
O F C H I L D R E N . IBd 
 
 We boast much, in this country, of our re- 
 publican principles and institutions. But do 
 we sufficiently consider how fast we are depart- 
 ing from republican plainness and simplicity, 
 in our manners and habits? — Luxury, extrava- 
 gance in dress and equipage, fondness of dis- 
 play, love of ease, and effeminacy in various 
 forms have infected the various classes of 
 society. Wealth has brought with it the 
 means of gratification, and they have been 
 liberally used. The progressive development 
 of our resources, foreign intercourse, the culti- 
 vation of the refined and useful arts, and even 
 the advancement of literature and science, have 
 all lent their aid in this concern. The general 
 tendency of the social state among us is to fos- 
 ter and encourage a sickly refinement ; to mul- 
 tiply facilities for living without labor; and to 
 produce a disrelish for manly efibrt. How far 
 these, and many other of our modern tastes and 
 habits, comport with the stern demands of re- 
 publicanism, and how well they promise to give 
 perpetuity to those privileges which we profess 
 to esteem and to cherish so highly, I do not 
 say. Our ancestors, certainly, were a race of 
 men accustomed to a state of society, and pos 
 sessed of views and feelings, of a quite difl'erent 
 
186 ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 cast. From such men we received our institu- 
 tions, broadly and deeply laid. Whether we 
 shall preserve them unimpaired, and complete 
 the structure so well begun, if we continue to 
 depart from their example, is a great national 
 problem which is yet to be solved. Every va- 
 riation in a system which has thus far wrought 
 so well, and in usages which have heretofore 
 proved salutary, should be watched with a 
 jealous eye. 
 
 Education has been too much treated by our 
 countrymen as though it consisted in mere in- 
 tellectual culture, and a certain refinement and 
 gentility of manners. The formation of the 
 moral man, and submissiveness to rightful 
 authority, have, to a great extent, become 
 neglected. The latter has been treated as 
 though it were meanness of spirit, and consti- 
 tuted no part of a manly, or useful character. 
 But if submissiveness to rightful authority be 
 not a duty, we may as well deny the existence 
 of the authority itself; for this becomes dead, 
 of course, a mere nullity, where its claims are 
 not supported. Regard it, however, as we 
 please, there is not a lovelier trait in the hu- 
 man character, than this same submissive temper ; 
 
OFCHILDRBN. 187 
 
 none which conforms a man more to the 
 image of his Saviour — none which more assi- 
 milates him to angels — none which more fits 
 him for the society of the blessed hereafter. 
 There is no one trait which goes farther in 
 making a good child, and a useful, quiet, citi- 
 zen. We hazard too much, then, in discarding 
 this virtue from our systems of education ; in 
 so doing we open the door wide to the licen- 
 tious misrule of turbulent passions, and make 
 every man the sole arbiter of his own conduct, 
 the sole executor of his own decisions. To 
 whatever extent we may cultivate the intellec- 
 tual faculties, we can never make, in any sense, 
 a virtuous and good man without moral culture. 
 It is of no avail to give a man knowledge, un- 
 less you give him also a disposition to use it to 
 good purpose. Along with it give him a dis- 
 position to do evil, and you have made him a 
 formidable fiend. We have talked too much, 
 and too long, as though the salvation of our 
 country depended on the mere enlightening of 
 the minds of the people, without regard to 
 moral virtue; or as though the latter consisted 
 only in a mental illumination from Avhich the 
 principles of morality and virtue might be ex- 
 
18S ON THE EDUCATION 
 
 eluded. There has been a delusion on this 
 subject which ought to be dissipated. It is the 
 moral virtue of the people which will prove 
 their highest safeguard ; — it is the want of it 
 which will prove their ruin. If knowledge is 
 power, as it has truly been said to be, let it be 
 placed in the hands of the good and virtuous, 
 to be wielded for the common benefit, and not 
 in the hands of those who are destitute of moral 
 worth, to be employed for mischievous pur- 
 poses. While we insist with great propriety 
 on giving the people this power, let us more- 
 over give them that which will ensure their 
 using it to wise ends, and not in the production 
 of evil. 
 
 The topics treated of in the preceding pages, 
 however humble they may be in appearance, 
 have an important bearing on the future pro- 
 sperity of our country. The youth of the 
 present generation are to constitute the future 
 men and women who shall adorn and bless 
 society, or affect it with a malignant influence. 
 They are now acquiring, in the discipline 
 which they receive, the characters which will 
 fit them for the one, or the other, of these ends. 
 
OFCHILDREN. 189 
 
 It should not be forgotten that those who con- 
 trol the education of the young, have the future 
 destiny of their country in their hands. If the 
 progress of society, for one generation only, 
 shall be downward, we must anticipate a still 
 greater declension of the next, and so of suc- 
 ceeding ones ; as each will form the character 
 of the one which shall follow. Such a declen- 
 sion may, indeed, be checked by the operation 
 of extraordinary and unexpected causes ; but 
 these are only exceptions to the natural course 
 of events. The situation of parents in relation 
 to the education of their children we thus see 
 to be one of high responsibility, involving a 
 vast amount of happiness, or misery, both pre- 
 sent and to come. While we regard the insti- 
 tutions and laws under which we live as in- 
 separably connected with the welfare of the 
 nation, and while we deem it indispensable that 
 the manners, morals, and usages of society 
 should be preserved pure and safe, we must 
 remember that they who frame the former, and 
 introduce or model the latter, received the rudi- 
 ments of their own characters, whether good 
 or bad, from the hands of their parents, or of 
 those who had the charge of their early educa- 
 17 
 
190 EDUCATION OF CHILDREN 
 
 tion. From these they imbibed their first no- 
 tions of right and wrong, and a moral bias 
 wljich influenced all their future actions. The 
 image of the future man was indelibly stamped 
 on each in the season of youth, with strong 
 prognostications of his future value or worth- 
 lessness to society. Not only as parents, then, 
 but as patriots and good citizens, we must regard 
 the right education of our youth with deep in- 
 terest. Here is an object which the most exalted 
 tn pointfof talents, or station, may deem it ho- 
 norable to promote ; and in the achievement of 
 which, we have the happiness to know, that the 
 humblest individual who sustains the relation 
 of a parent, or a teacher, may take an efiicient 
 and useful part. 
 
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