LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, ©ajajrigljt If xu Shelf_._S-£5 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Jffl Helps for Daily Living M. J. SAVAGE ¥/ The true hero is the helper BOSTON Geo. H. Ellis, 141 Franklin Street 1889 ^p Copyright By George H. Ellis 1889 \vw^? DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO, KNOWING THEY CAN HELP BUT LITTLE, ARE STILL READY TO HELP ALL THEY CAN. CONTENTS I. Life's Aim and Meaning 9 II. Things that make Honesty Hard 23 III. The Self and Others 39 IV. The Problem of Evil 53 V. Life s Petty Worries 65 VI. The Commonplace 79 VII. Helping 92 VIII. Conflicts of Conscience 107 IX. Living by the Day 121 X. How to Die 136 LIFE'S AIM AND MEANING. Not a great while ago, I was engaged in conversation with a finely-cultured and earnest-hearted gentleman, who had been trained in the old religious faith, and who, I think, is still a member of the Orthodox Church. I found, how- ever, that, in spite of these facts, he was sharing in the dis- content, the bewilderment, the questionings, that are touch- ing so many hearts and so many minds at the present time. He had been suddenly smitten with a great affliction, — one that had been great enough and had come near enough to his own life to shock his settled belief, and make him ready to ask the question, What does life mean ? What is it for, he said, what is the outcome of it ? Why are we subjected to these tremendous trials ? Are they worth while ? Is there any definite aim and meaning in life ? So people in all departments of life, in all branches of the Church, first or last, come back to raise these old funda- mental questions ; and we need, if it may be, to have them answered, sufficiently at any rate to give us a working the- ory of life. I do not undertake to settle all questions, to clear away all difficulties. I do not presume to tell you that I can see through the mystery of life and tell you just what is to be the outcome. I only tell you, as the result of hard study and thinking, that I have come to certain convictions ; and these convictions constitute for me a practical working theory of life. There are no more objections against them, io Helps for Daily Living at any rate, than against any other theory of life that I can frame. And this theory, or this way of looking at life, has the advantage of giving us standing-ground under our feet and, at least, hope for the future. In attempting, then, to answer this broad question as to whether there be any aim and meaning in life, I wish, first, to treat of it from the stand-point of the world as a whole, as to whether we can see any traces of a divine aim and meaning, as to whether we have any right to speak of God as having a plan, a purpose, in human life. Then I shall come to the more personal question, when I have disposed of that. First, then, have we any right to think that God has any plan, any purpose, in his management of the world ? In old times, it was comparatively easy to believe that he had. When I was a boy, I was taught that we ought to look — each one of us — at our lives as being a distinct and definite plan of God ; that he not only had a plan of the universe, — a plan of the world, — but that he had a plan concerning each one of us ; and that, if we tried to find out what he wanted us to do, and tried to do it, we were co-operating with him in working out this divine plan. In old times, when we held that theory of the world concerning which I spoke last Sun- day ;* when we believed that this globe, which was not even thought of as a globe then, but only as a flat surface, — when we believed that this was the centre of God's universe, the most important body in it, and that everything else existed merely for the sake of men, that the sun was only to light our pathway by and the stars only to shine upon us by night; when we believed that God had created this planet only a little while ago for a very distinct and definite end, — it was easy, then, to think of God as having a plan not only for the ♦See sermon on " Break-up of the Old Orthodoxy." Lifes Aim and Meaning II world, but for each person in it. I used to be taught that the world was created about five or six thousand years ago ; that, as it was created in six days of labor, and this was fol- lowed by a Sabbath of rest, so there were to be a thousand years of labor corresponding to each of the six days ; that the world was to exist six thousand years in the midst of the turmoil and struggle of life, in the battle between good and evil, and that that was to be followed by a thousand years of peace, — the millennium of rest, — and that then this world and its affairs were to be wound up, and this system of ours was to cease to be. That was the scheme of things that was believed for hundreds of years. It was, I repeat, easy to believe then in God's plan. We could think of that kind of a God. We could think of that kind of a world. It was comprehensible. We could grasp it and make it real to us. But what has happened ? We have found out that this world of ours, instead of being the largest and most impor- tant body in the universe, is one of the smallest in our solar system ; and this solar system is one of the smallest among the systems. We know that there are suns thousands on thousands of times larger than ours, that our sun is one of the smaller stars to any person who may be inhabiting some other solar system away off in space. As Colonel Ingersoll expressed it once in his terse though humorous fashion, " We are only inhabitants of the rural districts of the uni- verse." We have found out that this world is quite a small affair, that man, instead of being this special creation for this special purpose, that once we thought we knew all about, has been developed by natural processes from lower forms of life, and has come to be what he is under the work- ing of natural law, whatever may be the force, the power, back of and controlling that law. Now we have waked up to feel ourselves utterly lost in 12 Helps for Daily Living infinity. We have a new problem to discuss, and it must be looked at in a new way ; and, if we are any longer to have faith in any purpose and plan of God, we must get it in a different fashion from that which used to satisfy our fathers. They talked of all the manifestations of life on earth as being definitely planned and arranged just as they are. The eye was made on purpose to match the light, and the ear on purpose to match sound ; and wings were created perfectly adapted to enable the possessor to fly in the air, and fishes were adapted to live in the sea. All the different parts and processes of nature were supposed to be planned in just this way, just as a carpenter might plan a house. The foremost argument for the old-time design — one that has played a greater part than any other in theological discussion — is that of Dr. Paley. His famous argument or illustration was based on the watch. He showed that the watch manifestly had a designer, — somebody that planned it. Then he goes on to draw the parallel between the mechanism of that watch and the mechanism of the forms of life in the world and to say that, if one of them had a planner, a designer, so must the other have had. And this argument, at that time, was considered conclusive. But now that way of looking at the question of design has been outgrown ; and, should I to-day speak in the presence of any body of careful, scientific, philosophical thinkers, and refer seriously to Paley's watch, the only answer that would meet me would be a smile. If there be design, if there be plan and purpose, it is certainly not of that kind. For what do we see ? What does the evolutionist say in regard to this adaptation ? He would say, of course, that the eye is adapted to the light because the year-long and ever- lasting play of light upon the nervous system of animated forms has created eyes, and it has not created them very well Lifes Aim and Meaning 13 either ; for, instead of the eye being the perfect instrument that theologians used to speak of, it is very far from being perfect. There probably is not one pair of eyes in a hun- dred that are normal, that are anywhere near perfect. They tell us now that it is the play of the powers and forces around us upon organism that has shaped and adapted or- ganism. The Maine pine now grows in the north, not be- cause God, foreseeing the climate, created and adapted the tree to live in these conditions, but because in the process of ages this particular tree developed a hardiness which enabled it to live there, and those that were less hardy have all died out. This is what they tell us now. So, if I should go to some far island in the sea, — a small island, — and find there a race of insects without any wings, instead of saying that God made these insects without wings and adapted them to live upon this little island, the scientific men would say that the insects which had wings with which they were accustomed to float in the air were swept off by the winds into the sea, and so only those which clung close to the surface of the soil survived, propagated, and became possessors of the island. So animals especially swift or strong, or whatever they may be, are the result of these long struggles for life. And, if any plant, any flower, any animal, any race of men, is found existing in a particular set of circumstances, it is because it has progressively adapted itself to those circumstances. It has been a suc- cessful fighter in the age-long battle for life. You see, then, from this how the whole question of plan and design has been changed; and this, added to the discov- ery of the immensity of the universe and the natural origin of man, has made many earnest, hungry-hearted thinkers feel that they are all adrift in the infinite world. They know not whether there be any plan or purpose of God in human life. 14 Helps for Daily Living But I believe just as much as I ever believed in a divine plan and purpose. I believe there is a drift, a trend, a ten- dency, through the ages ; that there is, as Tennyson sings it, " One far-off divine event, To which the whole creation moves." Let me hint to you this larger, this more inclusive, line of thought, so as to put my mind into your minds, if I may. Go back, no matter how many thousands or millions of years, to the time when life first appeared on the planet. Take that as your point of departure, and then run through in your mind the steps of ascent. For here is the striking thing about it, that life, beginning far away and at the lowest point, has been progressively ascending all the way, climbing from the horizontal forms of life represented by the fishes, up through reptile, bird, mammal, to man standing upright on his feet, with his face questioning the heavens. So much for the steps of physical development through the long course of ages. At last, man appeared, man differentiated from the lower forms of life by finer physical structure not only, but chiefly by larger brain and grander power of thought. At first, perhaps, he may have been only more cunning, so that he was able to outwit those swifter and stronger than he, and make himself king of the world. Then this cunning devel- oped into the higher forms of intellect, until we have the grandest productions of human thought that have enriched the world. Then came the development of the moral, the affectional side of man, a step higher, something mightier than brute force, something mightier than intellect. For to-day it is unquestionably true that the mightiest forces in this world are the moral forces ; and they are growing every year, mastering the physical, mastering the intellectual. It is Lifes Aim and Meaning 15 felt in all communities that moral force has come to be mightier than armed hosts ; for there is not a single nation in the world to-day that dares to wage an undoubtedly unjust war. No nation dares to go to war without at least claiming that it is right, so that the military leaders of the world with their armaments bow themselves before the majesty of the moral law. Above and beyond that is coming to be recognized the spiritual, that which links man with the infinite, makes him feel that he is a child of the eternal, makes him hope and dream that there is a thought and heart and life to respond to his own, the soul of all the worlds. So that there has been — this is the only point I wish to impress upon you — this progress from the lowest forms of physical life on through the different stages of what we call the animal life of man, and then from man physical up through the intellectual, up through the moral nature, to the soul. And the universe has followed this pathway from the very beginning to — what shall we call it ? You can trace it as clearly as you can trace a star-beam through space. The progress of the world for ages, up from men like Hercules, like Samson, to men like Galileo, men like Angelo, men like Shakspere, men like Buddha, men like Jesus, — does it not look as though some- body meant it ? The power that can hold this universe in its arms and lead life from the lowest up a stairway like this until we see men like Jesus at the summit, talking about our Father in heaven, — does it not look as though somebody meant it ? Is a pathway like that trodden by accident ? I believe that a mighty power, an almighty power, an all-wise power, an all-loving power, has carried the world in his arms, and that he is leading it to some issue grander than any which we are yet able to dream. I think, then, we may take it for granted that this first step 1 6 Helps for Daily Living is clear, that God has a purpose in the world, and that this purpose is the culture and development of the spiritual life of man. It is that towards which everything thus far has tended. And what beyond ? " Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." We are ready now, then, to raise that further question which pertains to us individually, as to whether we ourselves can have a plan and purpose in life which we can carry out. I dealt with the larger theme first, because whether you agree with me or not, unless I could become convinced that the power who has made things and has led them had some pur- pose, and a wise and good one, I should think it a serious question whether it was worth while for me to have one. But believing that he has, and that it is a purpose of such magnificence and grandeur as that of which I have hinted, we may raise the question whether you and I can frame for ourselves a plan and purpose in life, whether we can believe that there is an aim, a meaning, in our lives, that it is worth while for us to discern. The first thing that strikes us here, as in the other case, is the vast difficulty concerning the whole theme. So much of 3/our life and mine was settled before we were asked to have anything to say about it that it looks as though the range within which we were able to plan was a very narrow one. I was not asked whether I would be born in America or in Africa, whether I would be born of white parents or colored, whether I would be born in a Christian or a heathen land, whether I would be born of intellectual stock or the opposite, whether my parents should have had any training so that they would care as to the training they gave me, or whether they should not. I was not consulted as to the kind of tem- Life's Aim and Meaning 17 perament with which I was endowed, whether one of melan- choly and depression, or one of hopeful, upspringing opti- mism, courageous and happy. I was not consulted as to how I should be trained and taught in my infancy and early youth. In regard to the most of us, we waked up to self- consciousness to feel that we were at last in some sense free to deal with ourselves, after the great main questions of life had been settled, without our being consulted concerning them at all. How many of us even now have the power of realizing our ideals ? Conditions hamper us. All sorts of difficulties beset us, over which it seems to us we have no control, until sometimes we raise the question whether we are free in any sense, whether we are not the playthings of a power so mighty as to paralyze our own wills; whether, even if we think we are free, there be not some cunning power back of ourselves that is playing even with the manifestation of what we call will, turning us into mere puppets. I say these ques- tions perplex us, until, as I talk with this friend or that, I find it is in many cases a great practical difficulty with him. He says : What is the use for me to try to plan, or to have an ideal ? I cannot reach it. I desire to work good and great things in this direction or that; but the instrument breaks in my hand, or my power fails me, or those who stand nearest me, and to whom I have a right to look for sympathy and help, oppose those things which I regard as best and highest in me, so that I become discouraged and know not whether it be worth while to try. Yes, friends, I agree with you. The limits within which we are free, within which we may accomplish very much, in which we may seek for ourselves an aim and a meaning in life, are very narrow. And yet something we can do, — some little I can do, some little you can do ; and the total of what 1 8 Helps for Daily Living all can do means, in the course of long years, nothing less than the transformation of the world. Look back a few thousand years and see. The world a jungle ; barbarous tribes lost in the desert, the forest, or wandering along the coves by the sea or the shallow rivers, simply to gather what nature has created to keep them in existence. There are no ships on the sea, there is none of that marvellous transforma- tion of the habitable globe that makes up the material aspect of what we to-day call civilization. Think what this crippled, helpless, confined race of ours has wrought in the way of making this world a grander, finer place than they found it. They have accomplished results so marvellous as to make us wonder no longer that some dreamers dare to think of themselves as like the Creator who gave them the field for these magnificent operations. How has man accomplished all these things? You need to note that point carefully. Man has never been able to do anything alone. He has been the child of God, the mediator of God, the co-operator with God, always and everywhere, when he has accomplished anything. He has simply found out some divine forces, that existed before he came here, be- fore he discovered them ; and he has co-operated with them, and through them he has wrought out these magnificent attainments. All the material civilization of the world means just so much discovery of the divine, so much co- operation with the divine. Steam, electricity, all these forces, — what are they ? Man created none of them. They were here, they were operating, they were God waiting for man's discovery and co-operation ; and, when he had discovered and had learned how to work with God, then he found almost anything to be possible. So in regard to these grander things, creating not merely a change in our physical environment, but creating a change in Life's Aim and Meaning 19 one's self, a change in one's friends, creating a higher civil- ization in human hearts and lives. In regard to all this, the method is precisely the same. Find out God at work. Obey God, co-operate with him. Just as a ship can be sailed on the sea, or a train of cars run on the land, or a message sent along the telegraph wire by discovering and co-operating with the forces of God, so I can create additional strength in my arm, I can create new powers of hearing in my ear, I can create new powers of seeing with my eyes, I can create new lung-cells, so that I can breathe more of God's vivifying air. I can change any part of the structure of my body. Tie my arm to my side, and it atrophies and withers. Exer- cise it, and it grows mighty and strong. So use and food for those parts of my physical nature that I wish developed, neglect and starvation for those that I wish to have shrink, die out. Give me time, and there is practically no limit to the changes I can work in my physical structure. The same precisely is true in regard to the mind. It is true in regard to the moral nature. It is true in regard to the spiritual perceptions and powers that are in us and which are the most divine part of us. This is what you can do. Decide as to what tendencies in yourself, what faculties, you consider worthiest. Decide along what lines you wish your nature to be developed. De- cide what you will regard as the aim, the meaning, of life, and then feed those faculties and powers. Exercise them, and you shall grow to mastery. Find out those things that need to be pruned away, cut off, trampled under foot, and neglect them, fail to feed them, and you shall find yourself growing in stature, into the ideal which you hold as the one after the shape of which you desire to be formed. So much we all can do, then, within the limits where we are free. We can find God'5 methods, we can find his powers, 20 Helps for Daily Living we can co-operate with him, and so help ourselves to fulfil what we believe to be the divine aim and meaning in human life. And one step more and one in the region of the practical. Just what shall we think ought to be the aim and meaning of the individual life ? We are apt to be confused in regard to what worthy ends and aims are, when we look merely at the life that is right about us. Our neighbors and friends fre- quently by their course of life set up a standard that we find it difficult to get away from. The pressure of public opinion about us coerces us sometimes into ways that are contrary to our highest thoughts, our noblest convictions. We all desire to be well thought of by those who are round us. We find it hard to have them censure us ; and sometimes it is almost as hard to have our friends censure us when we feel sure that we are right as to have them blame us when we are wrong. We love to be in harmony with our surroundings. In order, then, that we may have a clear conception as to what are the worthiest aims of life, as to what is its deepest and highest meaning, let us for a moment glance over the past, away from the passions and confusions of the present, and see who it is, what kind of people they are, whom the world has always adjudged to be the ones approximating to a realization of the ideal humanity. Who are they? Whom do we think of as the great men of the world ? What have they done that we call them great and good ? There are several grades of them ; and it is easy to assign them their places, when once we get clearly in our minds the significance of these grades. There are certain men in the past who have helped the material development of the world. They are discoverers who have sought and found new conti- nents, new lands. They have led other people in settling these new lands. They have been colonizers and organizers, Lifes Aim and Meaning 21 sometimes conquerors, who have put barbarism under the feet of a higher civilization. They have been inventors and men who have changed the face of the physical earth. They have made it an easier place for people to live in, given them mastery over the physical forces of the world, so that the conditions of this bodily life of ours have been bettered by them. These are the first. They are the lowest grade, be- cause those who help men in the lowest things are the ones that render them the least valuable service. And yet I would not emphasize this too much, because the high and the low in us, as we reckon it, are so intimately linked and blended that we find it impossible to develop the highest and finest in us until we have made the conquest of the lowest. Above the first grade I would place the thinkers, the men who have developed the intellectual side of their natures and who have helped others to develop their intellects, the men who have sought for what is scientifically true about the earth, about the heavens, the men who have written the world's books, its poems, its novels, its dramas, those in the intellectual grade. It is not easy to mark them off ; for the one class runs into the other. But this class, roughly speaking, I make second. Above these, highest of all, crowned with halos that speak the divinity of their souls, are those who have been distin- guished for being good, who have illustrated, represented the moral, the spiritual, side of human nature, who have made themselves the companions and the inspirers of those who desire to live in the spiritual range. These are the greatest of all. In the light of this principle, you see why it is, how necessary it is, that we place Jesus first of men. Why? For the simple reason that Jesus has done more than any other man that ever lived to help the spiritual life of man. That is why he ranks above all others that the world has ever seen. 22 Helps for Daily Living You see now, when we estimate what we ourselves have come to regard as greatest and highest, how we find our- selves keeping step with God's footsteps up the ages in the development of the world and of man. What God has made so far the crown and summit of his creation, the spiritual nature in man, we — though we forget that fact as we look back over the past — recognize as the greatest and best. And so, if we wish to find the true aim and meaning of our own individual lives, the key to it is here. Find out what it is that God has evidently designed and developed, find out what the unanimous consent of humanity has crowned as the finest and best, and seek to develop that in your- selves. Help your fellow-men in the range of physical need, help them in the range of the intellectual ; but you help that which has become distinctively human the most when you help the moral and the spiritual life. And since your power to help depends first and foremost upon what you are, before you can render this highest and grandest help to others, you yourself must be. God says it then, man says it, our own heart, our highest and finest thought, say it, that the aim and meaning of life is the development of the soul. For what? That doth not yet appear. THINGS THAT MAKE HONESTY HARD. It is said that on a certain occasion the old Greek cynic, Diogenes, was found walking through the streets of the city, in the daylight, with a lantern in his hand ; and, when asked what he was doing, he said he was in search of a man. I have sometimes questioned whether some of his neighbors might not have found the search quite as difficult as he did himself; for those persons who set out pretentiously with their personal ideals, in seeking for what they call a man, are perhaps quite as likely to be deficient in some important direction in their own characters as they think their neigh- bors are. But it is necessary for us this morning to have our ideal of a man, what we mean by all-round manliness, before we are able to estimate the force of those temptations that make it hard for us to reach and maintain our ideal. I wish, therefore, in the first place, to give you some hints as to what I mean by honesty, what I mean by an honest man ; and then we shall be ready to estimate the difficulties that assail him. As time goes by, changes come over the meaning of words, and we sometimes narrow down their meaning and make them one-sided in their application. So, in the use of this word " honesty," we are too apt to think that a man is en- titled to this word, this name, who simply refrains from out- right cheating in his business, if he keep himself within the limits of the law, or if he keep himself, at any rate, within 24 Helps for Daily Living those somewhat stricter limits of respectability, of what his neighbors demand of him. We confine it, therefore, gen- erally, in our common use of the word, to this matter of busi- ness. We say a man is an honest man, if he comes up to our ideal of what honesty requires in his business relations. I propose this morning to widen the use of the term, and make it include complete manhood, no matter whether he faces in the direction of business, of politics, of social life, or religion. An honest man ought to be like a tower that stands four-square, fearlessly facing and defying every wind that blows. To illustrate our point a little, — not to go into it exhaust- ively, but to make it sufficiently comprehensive, — I propose to touch for a moment on some of these separate aspects of honesty, that you may see what I mean by a man's being honest in these different departments of his life. First, and most obvious, let us dwell for a moment upon a man's business honesty. What is business ? What is busi- ness honesty ? What is the end that ought to be sought by it, and that is sought by it more or less consciously by nearly all those who engage in it? Business, of course, depends upon the simple fact that man, even in his most primitive condition, wants something that he himself does not create. And perhaps he is able to create more of something that is particularly in his line than he has any use for or cares to keep. So he wishes to ex- change something which he owns for something that he needs or desires more. As I said, we find this state of things in the most primitive condition of the world. One man in a savage tribe will have an aptitude for the manu- facture of bows and arrows. Another has no faculty at that perhaps, but has some special talent in the manufacture of moccasins or other article of use or ornament ; and the one Things that make Honesty Hard 25 who can manufacture successfully his bows and arrows makes more than he cares for, and exchanges them for moc- casins or beads that some one else possesses and that he desires. As society develops, the needs, the wants, and the desires of men increase, broaden, reach out in every direc- tion, until man needs not merely something to eat, something to wear, something to shelter him from the weather, a home, but he needs something to feed his intellectual life, some- thing to feed his moral hunger, something to feed his artis- tic taste, his desire for beauty ; and so the productive power of the world attempts to keep pace with the desires of man- kind. Thus, naturally, as the world increases in complexity, there is division of labor ; but in the midst of all the complex- ity there is one simple fundamental principle on which all honesty hinges. There must be equality in the exchange, so that the person who gets as well as the person who gives is better off than he was before. Indeed, in an exchange, each person both gets and gives. But the point to be remem- bered is that this exchange, however complex the process be by which it is carried out, should be such that after it is over both the parties to it are better off than they were be- fore, or at least as well off. If not, then there is dishonesty somewhere involved in the process. There is a point that I need to call your attention to for a passing moment. I have had occasion to remind you sev- eral times during the past years of the fact that this civil- ized world of ours is only a little way at any time from destitution. If there were no production, if nothing were added to the stock of the world, the world would wear out and eat up all that there is in the course of two or three years, and so perish. Here, then, is this stock of general good ; and it seems to me a fundamental principle of business hon- esty that any man who proposes to take out of this accumu- 26 Helps for Daily Living lated wealth of the world the tiniest particle for his own use must see to it that he adds something to the general welfare that shall be an equivalent, at least. If he leaves it no richer or if he takes what he has no right to, he becomes, no mat- ter what his position, what we mean by a thief. That is what theft means. Rendering some equivalent, serving the world, adding to its legitimate amusement or welfare in some way, is the only honest condition for any man, woman, or child. Then, when you engage in the world's business, see to it that it is honest, that there is equal exchange. These are the principles that underlie honesty in business. I must not stop one moment for application, for there is no time. Turn next to consider what it means to be honest politi- cally. For what does politics exist ? Government is simply the management of public business, public affairs, those affairs that are too large, too wide-spread, too complicated to be as well done by individual enterprise. What is the one thing to be aimed at always ? Always the public good in the use of public money, in the use of public time, in the use of public position, — always the public good. And he who attempts to gain position for the sake of using it for his own private advantage, to punish his enemies or to reward his friends, is a dishonest politician. He who by means direct or indirect attempts to beguile the public mind, to turn the attention of the people to a false issue, to hood- wink or deceive them as to the welfare of the people, — he who does any of these things for the sake of helping himself personally or for the triumph of his party is a dishonest poli- tician. Any man who interferes in any way with a free, intelligent expression of the popular will, in a popular gov- ernment, is a dishonest politician. Any man who attempts to get laws passed which are unequal in their practical work- Things that make Honesty Hard 27 ing, that help a person, a class, a clique anywhere, to the disadvantage of the public, is a dishonest politician. The honest politician is he who attempts earnestly to serve his time in a position that is honestly and manfully won. And the honest politician will stick by that motto which was uttered years ago, but that few people really believe in, that it is better to be right than to be President, better to be right than to be mayor, better to be right than to occupy any po- sition of political power. What in society ? Who is the man socially honest ? Not the man who seeks in any way that is within his power to gain a high social position, but he who recognizes that there are real distinctions among the people of the world, and who fixes his attention on that which he regards as really above him in the manly line of ascent, and attempts to reach this higher place, because to be there is to be more of a man and to be able to render society a nobler service. An aristocracy may or may not be noble ; but certainly the man who hap- pens to be born of certain ancestors, but who himself is neither intelligent nor true, nor fine in his feeling, nor clean in his character, is not a nobleman, however he may be born. I stop not to quarrel with society organized on the basis of money. If there be certain people who think that the only other people worth associating with are those who pos- sess somewhere near the amount of money which they pos- sess themselves, I have no quarrel with them : only I say to them that I cannot share their ideal, and that what they call high I call poor and not worth the search. So, if a person seeks literary distinction, or power in that direction, merely for the sake of himself, he is not any higher, grander, nobler than he who seeks selfish power for selfish ends in any other direction. The same principles precisely must be applied. 28 Helps for Daily Living Who is the honest man religiously ? The honest man religiously is the one who faces the facts of the world, who does not shrink from the truth because facing it hurts, be- cause facing it entails upon him present and personal loss, — loss of prestige, loss of position, of power ; the man who dares to open his eyes and sees things as they are and then stand manfully, believing in the integrity of the universe to such an extent that he cannot consent to be anything less than hon- est ; the man who will not swear to a creed that he does not believe, who will not stand in a false position in the pulpit, who will not sit in a false position in the pew, who will not cast his influence in favor of anything which he believes will be for the injury and not for the help of the world ; the man who dares to stand by what he believes to be the real truth of things, — such is the honest man religiously. These but as hints,— hints few and fragmentary, but per- haps sufficient to indicate to you my ideal of the honest man : honest wherever you put him, honest alone as well as in a crowd, honest whether he gains by it or loses by it, honest because he believes the universe is honest, and because he believes that this is the only way by which he can be a man. Now, do not think for one moment that I stand here claiming to occupy a position of exceptional honesty myself, looking down upon and lecturing the world. Do not think for one moment that I underestimate the tremendous forces that are at work all round us to hinder our maintaining such an ideal as that I have hinted at. I would not have you think that I am above or beyond being touched by these motives. If I were, I should have had none of that struggle or effort that I have made in the past, and am making to-day, to at least keep in sight of the ideal that I have attempted to outline. I share with you and with the race all the hopes, the fears, the passions, the desires and feelings, and the stress of Things that make Honesty Hard 29 those temptations that I propose to indicate, as much as other men. Let us, then, see what some of these temptations are. I shall class them under three heads, and point out some con- crete illustrations under each. 1. In the first place, one thing that frequently makes honesty very hard, in whatever direction the temptations come to us, is the fact observed as we look over the world, that immediate success seems to be most readily gained by not being very particular as to the means. The manner of gaining immediate success and the motives the world is not very particular about, so that a man succeeds. We have a say- ing that " nothing succeeds like success." When a man is rich, you know as well as I that people, when they are in- vited to enter his parlors, do not look very narrowly into the way by which he attained his wealth. If he has succeeded politically, and has power, and you are either afraid of him or want him to help you, you do not stop very carefully to estimate the means by which he won the requisite number of votes. If he occupies a high social position, people are apt not to look too carefully into his personal character. If a person occupies a high position in the church, the people who sit in the pews, as well as those who attend the neigh- boring churches, are not very scrupulous to hold him closely and carefully to the letter of the bond by which, were he completely held, he would be bound to modify his position or to leave it. People overlook the means by which a per- son comes into a position, after he is there ; and so a man says to himself, If I can only do so and so, if I can only win this thing, the main thing is gained. It is a perfectly nat- ural feeling that people should be governed by the desire of gaining what they think of as welfare and happiness. In- deed, I do not know of any other thing that a man can vol- untarily choose. It is our ideal of welfare and happiness 30 Helps for Daily Living which we are all of us seeking as the one highest thing to be attained. Of course, most people, before they have tried it, are apt to think that happiness lies in social success, or political success, or religious success, or financial success. And is it not true that, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, nine hundred and ninety-nine out of a thousand, people are spurred on with the thought that to win a position in the front rank of the work that they are engaged in is not only a laud- able ambition, but the way for them to be happy? And, if they win it at the sacrifice of conscience, even then they say there are men who have done the same thing and who ap- pear to be happy. So they are apt to be led away by this which appears to be the readiest means of success. One illustration of the kind of philosophy involved in reasoning of this sort is in Browning's poem called " Bishop Blougram's Apology." Of course it applies to the Church; but it will apply equally to anything else. Two young men had been classmates, and had been separated for years. One had become a bishop; and the other had wandered round, meeting with very little success, with no position, having acquired no wealth, nor power, nor fame. Years passed, and they met again. The bishop invited his old chum to dine with him; and over the wine, after dinner, he lays out his philosophy of life. Half wise, half cynical, half sneering, he points out the fact that he has won success in this life, — fame, money, power, honor, distinction. I stand here, he says, on the pinnacle ; but you, poor fellow, when you came to the point where the path turned, you foolishly allowed your conscience to interfere, and so, instead of taking the left-hand way to success, you took the right-hand way to nothing in particular. And, he argues, I have won this success, I hold it here in my hand ; and the bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But the bishop reveals the Things that make Honesty Hard 31 fact that at the bottom of his soul he is an utter sceptic : he does not believe in the creed nor in the God he worships, nor the heaven that he has attempted to get other people to enter. He does not feel quite sure of anything except that he is a bishop ; but, as long as he has won the highest success, he is willing "to chance it," as we say, concerning the rest. How many thousands of people there are who have gone upon this philosophy, and who have allowed their honesty to break down under the stress of this tremendous bribe of success that is close at hand and can be most easily grasped ! On the other hand, take a character like Jesus. Oh, how grand he seems to me when I think of him in the light of these worldly principles of immediate prosperity! How plausibly might he have argued : What am I really doing ? I cannot lead these people, unless I bend and give way! Do you remember a certain occasion when he spoke out clearly his truth, that it is recorded that from that day many who had followed him went back, and walked with him no more ? Jesus might very rationally have argued : I have lost my hold on these people by being too strict and severe. Is it not the wiser policy, the more religious policy, for me at least to keep my hold of them, not to speak too clearly ? If I can keep my hold on my people, I can gradually mould and change them. Did Jesus argue in that way ? It seems to me that a person looking at it at that time, not estimating the work since, might very rationally have argued that he was taking the most unwise course in the world ; that, when the time came at the last, instead of' having changed the religion of his nation, he was deserted even by some of the twelve, his own immediate followers, who had been with him from the first. He stood alone, lifted between heaven and earth, malefactors on either side, his work an utter wreck about his feet. 32 Helps for Daily Living But what since ? Simply because he was honest, because he stood by his integrity and uttered his truth, he has almost fulfilled that word which was spoken by him, or, at least, was put into his lips, whether he uttered it or not, — " And I, if I be lifted up, will draw all men unto me." Think of the thousands that to-day are ready to honor him and his truth, who would have looked upon him simply as, what he would have been, a dishonest man, if he had given way one inch or surrendered one iota of his truth for the sake of immediate success. But I must pass, for lack of time, to my next point. 2. This is one of the mightiest of the forces that stand in the way of people's being honest, the fact that the man who will be upright, downright, can count on so little sympathy on the part of his fellow-men. This is reasonable, looked at in one way. The popular standard has the majority in its favor ; and generally, I am willing to admit, it is true that, when a man differs from all the rest of the world, the chances are that he is wrong and they are right. But the simple fact that the world learns something gradually, and grows to better and better, is demonstration of the fact that now and then he is the one who is right, and all the rest are wrong. Were that not true, there never would have been any progress or growth. But generally it is true, and the man has to face that. Think how hard it is that he must not only face the fact that his own fellow-men do not sympathize with him, that even his friends perhaps think he is a little daft and wild, but that perhaps he must also face the underlying doubt whether he is right himself. How often there comes a case like this : a man in business, for example, starts out to be an honest man, and he comes to the point where he might succeed in gaining a large amount of money by giving way a little. He knows that the price of not doing it is to Things that make Honesty Hard 33 forfeit his success. Perhaps his own wife thinks he is strain- ing the point a little. Perhaps he hears her wish that she had this or that, saying, Here is one of my schoolmates now living on the Avenue in a fine house : you have never got on as her husband has, — hinting that perhaps it is because he is incompetent. Think of the temptation that comes to a man when he must face the fact that his own wife, his own friends, his own little band of sympathizers, as he hoped they would be, have turned on him with the imputation that he is either a little too strict or not quite as smart as his fellows, or he might have succeeded as well as they. And perhaps he knows at the same time that his ability is not less, but that only his conscience stands in his way. Let me give you one or two illustrations. I take them from literature; but they are no less true than if I had taken them from life. You remember George Eliot's story of "Felix Holt, the Radical." You remember that his father had been the proprietor of a patent medicine which young Felix, when he came to investigate the matter, could not honestly believe in the virtues of ; and so the question came up whether he would take the fortune involved in making it or go out into the world poor. And the question was com- plicated by the fact that he must seem to antagonize the honesty of his own father, and must, in conversation with his mother, as he is represented, put himself in the position of telling her that her own husband was either not quite clear- headed or else not quite true. Think of the temptation in- volved in a position like that. Take the next illustration, in another of Browning's poems, "Andrea del Sarto," where the great painter knew that he had ability to stand with the highest, and yet fell from among the stars through the importunities, the vanities, the passions of the wife whom he passionately loved, but who 34 Helps for Daily Living could not take his measure, who valued his art simply for what it could do towards the gratification of her own desires. Case after case like this must men face. Think how hard it is for a man to be true, for a man to be faithful, in the midst of temptations like these. I think that the hardest thing, perhaps, in all the world is for a man to be true in his religious convictions when besieged by temptations like these. Picture Sir Thomas More in prison, when a word would set him free. His wife comes with her little children, and gets on her knees, and clings about his feet, and pleads with him with tears to speak that word, which is only a lie, and he is free, with wife and children in his arms once more. Is it easy ? It was only a question of religious creed, after all. And perhaps Sir Thomas More was not right. Perhaps the majority of his time could have showed better authority than he. Take a more recent, fresher case from literature. You will notice that I have not followed the fashion of preaching a sermon on " Robert Elsmere," but I shall not let that stand in my way of using illustrations from it. Those of you who have read it will remember the strain, the deadly battle for the truth, that went on with Robert in view of the fact that his wife Catherine not only could not comprehend and could not sympathize with him, but felt that he was being untrue to everything sacred and holy in all the world. What does it mean for a man to stand up for a conviction against all his friends and against the pleading and tears of those nearest him ? These are some of the things that make honesty hard. As I look back over the past and study my own life, I appreciate what this battle means to such an extent that I find it very hard to fling epithets at people and call hard names, or to be anything but tenderly sympathetic. And Things that make Honesty Hard 35 yet, by virtue of the stress of that fight, I feel authorized to say to those who are in the midst of a similar battle that they have no right, for personal peace or even to satisfy the wishes of their friends, to be untrue to the noblest ideal of integrity which they can dream. There is one other group of facts that I must speak of, to cover the theme as it lies in my own mind. 3. The third thing that makes honesty hard in so many departments of life is the fact that one becomes entangled in a set of conditions and circumstances before waking up to the fact that any dishonesty is involved ; and, when they do wake up, they find themselves tied hand and foot. They find themselves committed, in this way and committed in that way, so that they seriously question whether they will do more good or more harm by following a conviction. It is so easy for us, with our sober second-thought, as we call it, to persuade ourselves that the easier path is the right one. To illustrate what I mean, let me refer to a gentleman I have in mind. It is not a case from literature, but from life. A gentleman who has had a wide reputation through- out the Union told a friend of mine something like this: I joined such and such a church when I was a young man, when I believed, or thought I believed, its creed. My chil- dren have been born and baptized in that church. They have grown up in it, all their associations are there, all their friends are there. My wife is there, still satisfied, still a believer. Her entire circle of friends is there. I, however, as I have travelled, read, and studied, have ceased com- pletely to believe that which once satisfied me. And here I am. I am a vestryman in my church, I have held official position, I have accepted its honors ; yet I no longer believe. What shall I do ? How shall I free myself from this entanglement ? how escape honorably ? May I not do more harm than good by leaving it ? 36 Helps for Daily Living Take another illustration. I was talking with one of the most cultured gentlemen in one of our great cities within a week; and he told me of a conversation that he had recently with the most popular clergyman in a great city, a man who has the largest following in the city, an immensely rich, strong church, who said : " I have found that I do not believe more than one-third of the creed of the church in which I am preaching. But what am I to do ? Here I am, the pastor, possessed of tremendous power. My congregation is rich. I can get ten thousand dollars any Sunday, by asking for it, to help this cause or that. While I am here, I can mould the thought of my people. I can educate them, I can help them to higher and better ways of thinking. If I leave them, I throw away this power. It all goes into other hands, some one who will not preach half as sensibly as I do, perhaps. There will be reaction. May it not be worse for my people for me to leave than for me to stay where I am ? " You see the line of argument. You see how easy it is for any one to persuade himself that the position he occu- pies, though it be not quite upright, not quite clear in its integrity, is still practically the best. There may be cases where this course is the best. I do not feel called upon to pronounce any hasty judgment. I only do feel this: that, if all the men in this country to-day who occupy similar posi- tions would speak out at once and step out at once, the world would leap ahead a century in five years. And, so long as I hold that conviction, I must speak out and step out, though I do it alone. I will fling no hard words at those behind me. I will only utter my conviction and stand as I may for what seems to me the truth, true honesty, in the relig- ious life. But it is not simply a religious temptation. This same principle comes to the man in political life and to the man Things that make Honesty Hard 37 in business life. A man who occupies a position in the political world may persuade himself that he can do great good by keeping it, though he finds himself pressed into doing things, or consenting to the doing of things, that he does not really believe in. So a man in business may find himself in a position like this. Suppose one goes into a banking house or a mer- chant's store, as a boy, and grows up in the business, and wakes up at last to the conviction that the methods by which that business is carried on are not strictly honest methods. But he is involved in it. His own business career is in- volved. He has his future to look out for, and perhaps a mother or friends dependent on him. What shall he do? It is not so easy as we sometimes think to be an honest man. Now, at the last, one consideration, and one only. What can make a man strong enough to face all these temptations and go through all these fires and come out unscathed ? He must have a deep-down faith in the integrity, in the reality, the meaning of things. He must believe that this is no hap- hazard scheme of which he is a part. He must believe that there is wisdom and righteousness and truth and love at the heart of things, with which he can ally himself. He must believe that there is a power controlling these affairs that is on his side, when he is on the side of right, and that in the long run it will be worth his while to stand, to be patient, to wait. If a man really believes this, then, though he sacrifices, he does not sacrifice the best, — though he loses, he does not lose the essential ; for such a man is convinced that the one grand end and aim of life is the creation of completed hu- manity, a manhood that lasts when business is forgotten, a manhood that endures when our present social order is a thing of the past, a manhood that remains when political struggles are no more remembered, a manhood that is a part 38 Helps for Daily Living of the religious life of the world, a part of the permanence of things, something that he keeps and carries over with him j something that all the world can minister to, but that he would be a fool to exchange for any or all. The only- safety, it seems to me, for a man in this world is to carry in his right hand and in his soul that divine conviction. With that as a light, let him look over the past, and he will see that by common consent the grand souls of the world have been those who were fools enough to fling away their lives that they might save them. They are the ones who were right ; they are the ones who are remembered. And, if we can believe that these, though invisible, are not far away, if we can realize that picture which the author of the Epistle to the Hebrews so grandly wrought out, — that picture of one in the arena equipped for running a race, with a great cloud of witnesses rising tier on tier in the amphitheatre all about him, remembering that the one thing which was important for him to do was to win that race, the race for his own man- hood, then he can hear and respond to the challenge, "Wherefore, seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, . . . and run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, — [and to all the great and the noble of the past], — looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him — [the joy of allegiance to the truth and victory with it] — endured the cross, de- spising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of God." THE SELF AND OTHERS. Practical life is an unsteady and constantly changing balance between the claims of the self and the claims of other people. And these conflicting claims present to us constantly varying practical problems as to which way duty lies. What rights have I as an individual ? How much have I a right to enjoy? How much have I a right to study? What right have I to my own individual opinions? What right have I to accumulate and use money as I please? In short, what is the nature and what are the limits of my right to live out to its full extent my own individual life ? And here is the counter question : What rights have other people concerning my personal life ? How much right have they to my time ? How much right have they to demand that I shall sacrifice a certain quantity of my own personal enjoyment or my accumulated intelligence ? What right have they to my own personal services, to my money ? You see that practical questions of this kind are perpetually fac- ing us, — questions of practical casuistry, each one of them having some peculiarity that sets it off apart by itself, and makes it a new problem to solve. The tendency always is to one or the other extreme. There is this perpetual pulling, so to speak, between what philosophy calls the ego — the egoistic theory of life — and the altruistic theory of life. These forces seem to me to resemble in some particulars what we call the centripetal and 40 Helps for Daily Living the centrifugal forces in astronomy. If the centripetal forces were so mighty as to pull all the planets and moons into the sun, the solar system would cease to be. If the centrifugal forces, on the other hand, were so mighty as to send each planet off by itself, in this case, also, the solar system would cease to be. No matter how brilliant any sun might be, no matter how brilliant any planet or moon, it would be as though all were darkness; for they would be so far apart that they would come into no relation to each other. There would be none to give and none to receive illumination. Not only do we find this a practical problem for us to settle in our daily lives, but these two tendencies have mani- fested themselves in the world's religions, philosophies, and governments. There are, for example, certain theories of the religious life which make it the one great end and aim of each individual to save his personal soul. This first, this always. This is his prime duty to God, his prime duty to himself. On the other hand, there are certain theories of religion, like some phases of the Hindu teaching, where the individual soul is considered as practically of no account. It is the all that fills the contemplative mind. The individual is only a tiny wavelet on the vast sea, that lifts itself into promi- nence, glints for a moment in the sunshine, and then sinks, never to possess the same individual life again. Then, in philosophy, we find the same two divergent, antagonistic expressions. There are certain philosophers who say that the only thing that any man knows is that he exists and has certain sensations. On this theory, I am the universe, so far as I am concerned. I am the centre of all things ; and all that I know is that I am, and that I feel. Then there is a certain pantheistic philosophy, which cor- The Self and Others 41 responds to the pantheistic religion of which I have spoken to you, that counts the great souls of the world as practically of no account. This philosophy teaches that the course of the world's history would practically have been the same if the greatest men of the world had never lived. It makes them not creators of epochs, but only expressions of ten- dencies, so that the individual is swallowed up in the mass. Then we have these two opposite theories in government. You are familiar with the terms "• anarchy " and " social- ism," and possibly, without thinking very deeply, you may confound the two at times ; but yet they are the two repre- sentatives of extreme opposites. The anarchist theory is individualism run mad, — the right of every man, woman, and child to live out his own life. It would be the abolition of all government, the abolition of all contract, the abolition of the family as well as of the State. Extreme individualism would be the result. On the other hand, the theory of socialism makes the individual count for practically nothing. He has no rights which he is not bound at once to surrender to what is called the general welfare. He has no right to hold property individually, or even to choose his profession or trade. He has no right to go his own way in any direc- tion. He is only a unit, — a part of the larger whole, — to be dominated and controlled by the central power which gives direction to this whole. So you see that these conflicting claims of egoism on the one hand and of altruism on the other dominate the world, and in every department of thought and life are perpetually bringing us face to face with problems practical and theo- retical for us to solve. My purpose this morning is not an ambitious one. I am not to discuss philosophy or science or sociology with you. I speak of these at the outset only to show you how univer- 42 Helps for Daily Living sal the problem is. What I have in mind is to talk famil- iarly with you for a little while concerning some of the per- sonal aspects of this question as they present themselves to us for daily settlement. I want to help you to appreciate that the individual has rights and that society has rights, which are not necessarily in conflict, though they appear to be. I want to put in your hands, if I can, some principle that shall enable you to solve some of these problems as they present themselves to you ; for it is my conviction that it is quite as possible for one to overestimate the duty of self-sacrifice as it is to underestimate it. And, while we are accustomed to say that the whole world is selfish, and that every man and every woman in it is dominated merely by selfishness, — I have heard it over and over again, — I believe that there are thousands and thousands who carry the matter of self-sacrifice to an extreme, whose sensitive consciences ride them till they drive them into that which is positively wrong, not only to themselves, but to others, — in the thought that the highest thing they can do is to repress and wipe them- selves out. My plan, therefore, will include the bringing up of a good many typical cases, — an attempt to sketch in rough outline, but clear enough for our purpose, certain illustrations of the way these conflicting claims work in practical life. It does not take us long to find the weak point in a char- acter like that of the Pharaoh who built the Great Pyramid, a man who attempted apparently to sum up in his own individ- ual life the entire life of his age. He was a man who carried to extreme this principle of egoism, reaching out and absorb- ing into himself the life of a kingdom merely for the building of a monument for his own personal glory, sacrificing the personal rights, claims, conscience, enjoyment, even the lives of probably hundreds of thousands of his subjects. A man The Self and Others 43 who makes the most of himself along those lines and in that way, it needs no argument to show, comes short in the most serious way of making the most of himself. He masses that which is central in his own personality, and through the very excess of his selfishness sacrifices not only the lives of hun- dreds of thousands of his subjects, but sacrifices the highest life of his own soul, developing himself not into something highly human and grand, but into a monster. Precisely the same danger threatens men in the modern world. I have in mind one of the most famous merchants of modern times, a man who lived, so far as the changed conditions of the world permit, a life substantially like that of the Pharaoh to whom I have referred; a man who crushed out all opposition ; a man who hindered all rivalries so far as he could ; a man who stood in the way of the devel- opment of all others whose work would in any way tend to compete with his own; a man who absorbed the whole life of his time in that direction, so far as he was able to do so, making himself a sponge, sucking up and taking into himself everything with which he came in contact and giving out nothing, giving only as a sponge when he was the victim of some outside pressure beyond his own control. It needs no words to make apparent the mistake of men like this. Not only do they not serve to the best their fellow-men, not only do they not recognize the rights and the welfare of others, but they do not in any true and high sense make the lives that they destroy minister to them that which is good for themselves. Now let us take a case a good way off from either of these, a case the like of which we have known more than once in life, where, under what I regard as a mistaken sense of duty, some one spends her life — for it is generally a woman — in being absorbed so completely in what are considered holy 44 Helps for Daily Living parental claims that she ceases to have power to develop her own individuality or to be a noble, rounded out, complete woman, or to live the noble free life that rightly belongs to her. I have in mind the case of a daughter whose father and mother are growing old. The brothers, if there have been any, have grown up and gone away. Parents rarely think of absorbing in this sense the life of a son, or, if they do, the son generally rebels and refuses to submit. But many and many a time does it come to pass that the daughter, claimed by the fond and over-fond but the not over-wise love of father and mother, feels that she has no right to live out her own life or to be anything on her own account. She is needed at home ; father wants her, mother wants her, and she gives up her life completely to them. The time comes perhaps when the perfect flower of her womanhood might blossom under the sunshine of a perfect love, and she might link herself to another life and go on in her own way developing all the fine qualities of her womanhood and her motherhood. But under this sense of duty, this over- mastering claim of father and mother, she represses this love, crowds down that which is most characteristic and most noble in any woman, puts some tender keepsake away in a drawer, perhaps lessens the power of another life that had the grand claim of a grand love on her by a refusal, and sacrifices all this to this mistaken — is it? — sense of duty to father and mother. I do not say it is always mis- taken ; but I do say that time and time again this is pure, unmitigated, needless selfishness on the part of father and mother, and that they have no right, because this woman perchance is their child, to absorb into themselves all that is noble and grand in her, and make her life an abortion and a failure. Here is one of the great questions. I cannot answer it The Self and Others 45 authoritatively in every case, but in many a one it is only a very sensitive conscience on the part of the daughter and overweening selfishness on the part of father and mother. Because I have chosen to bring a soul into this world, I have no right to do anything with that soul except to make that life, if possible, a grand success for that life itself. Sometimes it is the opposite. Sometimes the father and mother bow to the child, son or daughter, to such an extent that the whims and fancies, the desires and passions, of the child rule ; and the life of father and mother becomes ab- sorbed in the selfishness of the child. Here, again, it is a question between the self and the claims of other people as to which shall rule, as to where the limit shall be set up, as to which way the balance shall incline. There are other cases. Sometimes it is an invalid in the home. Some one is ill, perhaps for months and years ; and in the sick fancy of this illness the invalid persuades herself that there is only one person in all the world that she can bear to have about her. And so this one person is only a satellite revolving day and night, month after month, year after year, round this one invalid life. Here, again, it is a question, and a serious question, as to whether it be not the duty of this attendant to break away. What right has one, merely because ill, to suck the life, the heart, the brain, the soul, out of another life, making two ill where there need have been but one, when the services are such as might be rendered by another? Then it seems a serious question whether this loving at- tendance, so overdone, may not be an evil to the invalid her- self. Go out into the wide world, touch the outside life, bring in something of the fresh sunshine and the air ; and not only do you help yourself, but you help the sick one bet- ter than though you devoted yourself exclusively to this at- tendance and care. 46 Helps for Daily Living To turn away from cases like this, let us consider our public men. To a man who is in such a position that every one feels he has a right to come to him for service of this kind or that, the question becomes very practical. His prob- lem is : Shall I reserve to myself some sacred hours ? Shall I reserve to myself the right to study, the right to think? Shall I reserve for myself some time in my own home ? Shall I claim, as other people do, the right to have a few intimate personal friends, a little circle nearer to me than the rest of the world, or shall I become a public pasture, where every- one has a right to feed ? Shall I become a common, trod- den by everybody's feet, and claim nothing for myself? I am not speaking of myself now, mark you. I am only refer- ring to typical cases, true of thousands. Again, take the case of the man who has made himself wealthy, who has been successful in business, — what shall he do ? Here are the claims of the poor, of the sick, of a thousand charities, — claims in the way of public education, claims in every direction. How much shall such a man spend on himself ? How large and fine a house, what fur- nishings, shall he allow himself? How much for his family? How much in the way of music ? How large a share of his own estate shall he keep to give to his children ? Where is the line to be drawn between the claims of the world and his own claims to that which he calls his own ? It is not an easy matter to decide. I want to turn now to another class of cases. I know I am going to tread on dangerous ground. I am going to say some things that can be very easily misunderstood. I am going to preach what a great many would call dangerous doctrine. But, if fools listen and fools interpret, I do not know of any doctrine, even the multiplication table, that may not become dangerous. This world is full of danger. You The Self and Others 47 are not free from danger any minute of your lives. The only way that you can escape danger is to go out of the world. I am going to speak about the relation between husband and wife, as to what constitutes true marriage, and as to what are the rights and the claims of husband and wife on each other. Suppose a wife has high and grand ideals, and that she marries a man who lacks them. You remember that Tenny- son says in such a case, in " Locksley Hall," — "As the husband is, the wife is : thou art mated with a clown, And the grossness of his nature will have weight to drag thee down." Will it ? Must it ? Should it ? Suppose the husband is an exacting and selfish man, who claims that he cannot be happy except as the life of his wife becomes absorbed in his own and in his own way of living. There are such cases. Is it her duty, for the sake of making him contented with his selfish life, to sacrifice all the higher and grander things in herself? I do not believe it is. I believe that that whole theory of marriage is barbarous from beginning to end. How did the husband in old times acquire a wife ? Fre- quently, he did it with a club as the result of pursuit. Later, he did it by purchase ; and he does it sometimes that way now. But, when he had gained his wife, he felt, and the great majority of men feel still, that the wife is his property. They are not very willing to turn it round, and let the woman say that the husband is her property, though that claim is made as exactingly sometimes on the one side as the other. I believe that there will never be true marriage, and that the question, " Is marriage a failure ? " will never be settled, till men and women become civilized enough to recognize the rights of the personality of both husband and wife; and that neither the man nor the woman has any right, because 48 Helps for Daily Living they are married, to invade the sacredness of that personal- ity, any more than, because New York and Massachusetts are united as a part of this great Union, the militia of one has the right to invade the soil of the other without per- mission. I believe that any true marriage means a perfect, self-centred, roundly developed womanhood and a perfect, self-centred, roundly developed manhood, and then cordial, willing, voluntary co-operation. Anything short of that is degradation. I believe, then, that both the man and the woman should be free, free as the air, to live out his and her individual, intellectual, spiritual life, and to hold his own or her own way. If I had a wife that I had to tie either by a cord or by fear, or by persistent pestering when I was out of her sight, I would — certainly not hold her by force, either physical or spiritual. If husbands and wives cannot hold each other by mutual loving respect and mutual tenderness, then mar- riage most certainly in their cases is a failure. But suppose, — and here I tread more dangerous ground still-, — suppose either the husband or wife find that they have tastes that lead them in different directions, and that bring them into association, even intimate association, with other people, men or women to whom they are not married, and are not likely to be, — what then ? I do not believe that any man or any woman has a right to starve a certain faculty or quality of mind of wife or husband for the simple reason that they have no taste in that direction. Why, if the husband and wife were mere echoes, duplicates of each other, what a monotonous life it would be ! By as much as the wife differs from her husband, by as much as the husband differs from the wife, by as much as each is developed on some side of the nature that the other is not, perhaps hardly understands, by so much does the common life become larger, richer, The Self and Others 49 finer, higher, because of this variety. True marriage ought to be like twin stars in the heavens. You would not, if you could, have one fall into and become absorbed in the other. Let the two swing and shine together in their one sphere, each with its own peculiar brilliance ; and then the heavens become glorious. These are illustrations of what we find in every direction all over the world, practical questions. The question came up, and it is fresh in your minds this morning, in the case of Robert Elsmere and his wife. I have heard a good many women say, — and I do not agree with them, — that they think Catherine was all wrong, and that, for the sake of peace and helping her husband, — "and, if she had loved him, she would have done it," — she should have surren- dered her sacred convictions, and have become simply an instrument for him to play on. I do not believe it. Cath- erine is not a woman I should have cared to marry ; but she is a grand woman. She was true and noble, and she lived her own life ; and, if there were a Robert Elsmere who had passed over into the other life and could look back upon a Catherine here, he would have loved her all the more truly because she was woman enough to be her own self. Take one more case in this direction, — a case like that of John Stuart Mill. Mill came into such personal relations with the life of another woman as made him believe that he had never lived until he met her. Those relations were every way noble. Nobody in all the world ever dared ques- tion the nobility of them ; and he felt, as he got towards the end of his life, that all the best that he had ever done he owed to Mrs. Taylor. Suppose there had been narrow, petty jealousy, so as to have starved the life of this great man, who found here a well-spring and source of inspiration. Friends, we shall be civilized by and by ; and then we shall 5