4 o */ v-W-v v™> v#/ i c°*.^>.% y.c^r.^ c°*.-^>>o / ••; '^ ,S* <- * ..i^%*°, .^\-.^.. V ,0*.- 4 ^ \ v *S W O ' . . 5 4 .A LIEUTENANT-GENERAL GRANT AND HIS BRAVE SOLDIERS. THE PICTORIAL BOOK OF ANECDOTES AND INCIDENTS OF THE WAR OF THE REBELLION, EMBRACING THE MOST BRILLIANT AND REMARKABLE ANECDOTICAL EVENTS OK THE GREAT CONFLICT IN THE UNITED STATES: HEROIC, PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, ROMANTIC, HUMOROUS AND TRAGICAL, FROM THE TIME OF THE MEMORABLE TOAST OF APCBR1W MOKS©Nl-=."THE FEBERAI. UNION; IT MIST RE PRESERVE© t" Uttered in 1830, in presence of the original Secession Conspirators, to the Assassination of President Lincoln, and the end of the War. WITH FAMOUS WOKDS AND DEEDS OF WOMAN, SANITARY AND HOSPITAL SCENES, PRISON EXPERIENCES, &c. By FRAZAR KIRKLAND, Author of the " Cyclopedia of Commercial and Business Anecdotes," etc. Scaati&lla Illustrate foitjf oto 3M ftngrabht^ n * r % ,e * Washin C- PUBLISHED BY SUBSCRIPTION ONLY. HARTFORD PUBLISHING CO., HARTFORD, CONN, NATIONAL PUBLISHING CO., PHILADELPHIA, PA., AND CINCINNATI, O. J. A. STODDARD & CO., CHICAGO, ILL. ZEIGLER. MCCURDY & CO., ST. LOUIS, MO. 1867. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1866, by HUBLBUT, WILLIAMS & CO., In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for the District of Connecticut. £">'•> Electrotyped by LOCKWOOD & MANDEVILLE, HARTFORD, COJiN- PREFACE PLAN OF THE WORK, It is safe to assume that no family — no intelligent man, or woman, indeed, — in the sisterhood of States composing our common country, will be willing to forego tlie possession of some portraiture of the more lively or personal sayings and doings which crowded themselves with such rapidity into each succeeding day of the Great Four Years' War: and, to supply that want, in the most fit and attractive form, this volume has been prepared, and is now offered, — in confident assurance of its value and popular reception, — to the American People. Not only would it be a difficult task to find that man or Avoman whose mind has not been thus enlisted to the most intense degree of interest in the great procession of events during the period named, but the attempt would be almost equally futile to discover the family circle or individual upon whom those events have not fallen, either directly or indirectly, with a shock which memory will never efface nor time obliviate. And whilst, of these latter, it may be said the number is well nigh past enumeration, who have spilled their blood, sundered the nearest and dearest ties, endured weari- some and relentless persecution, and been brought to irretrievable penury and desola- tion ; on the other hand, multitudes there are, who now find reason to rejoice, as surviving participants in the grand and triumphant, though bloody and appalling train of events, which, under an overruling Providence, have doomed forever this and all future similar attempts to destroy a Government founded in the blood and prayers of earth's wisest and best, and upon which the hopes of the world are centred. Great Company of Heroic Martyrs ! The Nation's acclaim of gratitude hails and blesses you, and the Song of Jubilee which you have put into the hearts of the people — yea, of thrice ten millions ! — shall be taken up by coming generations, and in far distant lands now awaking to political consciousness, until every voice shall sing- responsive to the Universal Anthem of Manhood Vindicated, Justice Regenerated, and Liberty Enthroned. To exhibit and commemorate the course of events thus inaugurated in crimeful ambition and sectional heresy, and culminating in a New Birth, and in a larger, stronger, and more enduring Life to the Nation thus sought to be destroyed, the historian has gathered together and woven into thoughtful chapters the documentary materials and official details of the Struggle ; the poet's genius has lent its inspiration to the charm of glowing and melodious rhyme ; and the pen of romance has indited its most touch- ing story of mingled pathos and horror, of principle tested, and suffering crowned with victory ! All these have their appropriate place, — their peculiar usefulness and adaptation. Future generations, scarcely less than the present, will read with absorbing avidity the historian's volume ; the poet's ringing verse will not cease to be the keynote to warm the sympathies and rouse the heart to greater love of patriotism, freedom and justice. ; and the more gushing sensibilities will find food in the well-wrought tale ot heart-trials not simply " founded " on fact, but the delineation of gaunt fact itself, in its relation to individual cases innumerable. o PREFACE. The character of the present work, — The Book of Anecdotes and Incidents of the War of the Rebellion, — is distinctive alike from that of the sober Histoiy, the connected Narrative, and the impassioned Story. Whilst embracing all that is striking and marvellous, touching, witty and pathetic, in the scenes from which the latter have been produced, its object is not to weave together any individual theory, philosophy, or methodical detail of affairs, but to present, in attractive form and classifi- cation, a volume of the most thrilling, racy and wonderful incidents in the Nation's four years' experience of War, culminating in the assassination of Lincoln, the Beloved Chief Magistrate, and in the ignominious doom of the Arch- Conspirators ! It may be remarked, in a word, that, equally to the Army, the Navy, and to the Civilian, — one and the same in their glorious consecration to the great cause of National Existence, — are the pages of this work devoted. Nor is this collection confined to any particular State, Section, Corps, or Depart- ment, but embraces them all. The States loyal, and those in rebellion, are here por- trayed, in the scenes, incidents and episodes, which transpired in them respectively. The Army of the Potomac, of the Cumberland, of Virginia, of the Southwest, of the James, and every other, of whatever name, is alike and copiously represented. Gen- erals Grant, Sherman, Sheridan, McClellan, Burnside, Hooker, Thomas, Butler, Fre- mont, — Admirals Farragut, Foote, Porter, Rodgers, Dahlgren, Dupont, and the rest of the great host of Chief Commanders on the Land and on the Sea, — their grand armies, corps, divisions, brigades, fleets, squadrons, etc., and the brave men under their lead, — are here duly commemorated. The stirring deeds of the Armies and Fleets en masse, and of their officers and men individually, — those momentous days and hours, those transcendent acts and move- ments, the memory of which will live in letters of blood before the eyes and burn like fire in the hearts of those who participated in them ; these, sifted like gold, are here spread out in all their varied attractiveness. Thus it is, that the rank and file, as well as the superior officers, are made illustrious in these pages, by the valor, skill or achievement, which distinguished them, — and such instances may be said, without any strain of truth, to have characterized every regiment and crew, without exception, in the Grand Army and Navy of the Union ! A glance at the General Contents of this work will furthermore show that they comprise Anecdotes of Scenes and Events relating to several hundred battles, skir- mishes and collisions, on land and sea, including every engagement of note during the prolonged Conflict ; that the vessels from whose mast-head the gallant ensign waved memorably in the nation's service, have here their annals of fame and honor ; and that not a single general officer, of historic fame, in either arm of the country's defence, has been lost sight of, in giving completeness to the volume as a repository of whatever is piquant, racy, marvellous, pathetic, or grand, in the different depart- ments and fields of military operation. The most famous sayings and doings in political circles, bearing upon Secession in its public and private aspects ; camp, picket, spy, scout and battle-field adventures ; the brilliant tactics, ruses, strategy, etc., which have made this war so remarkable even in the eyes of European military governments ; thrilling feats of bravery among the tarpaulins and blue-jackets ; " hard-tack " and mule beef legends ; recruiting, con- scripting and substituting oddities ; female soldiers ; the harrowing sights and experi- ences of the hospital and prison ; and all the inner-life happenings, humors and drolleries of an army ; — these cover the broad pages of this richly filled volume, and, it is believed, render it, above all other Avorks which the war has called forth, the one in especial which, for the spare hours of home reading, every soldier, seaman, citizen and family, will desire to possess. But, in addition to the above brief summary of contents, it may be claimed for this work that it is, almost exclusively, the one specially planned for a choice and discrimi- nating exhibition of Woman's Career in the Scenes and Events of the War ! Per- haps no other fact could give such peculiar value to these pages, or secure for them such ready acceptance on the part of the reading public. PREFACE. 9 The separate volume, originally contemplated by the editor, to be devoted entirely to that deeply interesting record, has been merged with this, into one, thus adding to its departments a most attractive feature — rich, unique, and surpassing romance in its resume of startling facts and strange developments of the Perils, Valor, Amours and Devotedness specially pertaining to that sex, the wheat being carefully sifted from the chaff. The wonderful character of Woman's Career, North and South, during a four years' fratricidal war which reached all classes and penetrated every element and interest of society, and in which she herself was summoned to bear such variety and burden of experience, has no counterpart Avhatsoever in the history of mankind ; a fact Avhich, indeed, could not have been otherwise, when it is considered that never before, in the ages of the world, was such a contest waged, and that at no previous period was Avoman's social and intellectual equality with the other sex so generally admitted, or her influence so powerful and wide-spread, — thus necessarily bringing her, by a coincidence truly memorable, in active identity with public affairs, in the greatest of human crises ! The part which the sex enacted, under these unparalleled circumstances, is here most amply illustrated, — excluding, of course, much that was of inferior interest, and the record will at least be adjudged a Brilliant, Romantic and Inviting one, on glanc- ing at the Index of subjects comprised in this volume, those relating to Woman being there printed in Italics. Not only in respect to the specialty just remarked upon, but equally with reference to all the other topical divisions of the volume, it may be asserted that no trouble, labor, travel, nor consideration of time or cost, has been allowed to stand in the way of their most complete preparation. Familiar intercourse with officials and privates, attendance at the Departments in Washington, personal observation and correspond- ence, all the official documents, the teeming issues of the newspaper press, in their vast and prolific range, — of all these, the editor has painstakingly and freely availed himself, during the last five years, in order to produce a work, if not absolutely perfect, yet certainly not excelled, in the quality of readableness, by any Book of the War. Of the many thousand anecdotes which have passed under his inspection, in the immense accumulation of materials named, — common to all and special to none, — the contents of this volume comprise those which were found to have called forth the greatest interest and admiration on the part of the public, and which were thought to most aptly exhibit the lights and shades of the Avar. This Avas the aim and object kept in vieAV. A conscientious care Avas justly called for, and duly exercised, in excluding those productions concerning the Avar, to which the pens that gave them birth affixed a retaining claim ; and a faithful comparison, in that respect, of what is here brought together, Avith the contents of other collections, is freely invited. It Avas nevertheless found inherently impossible, in a vast number of instances, (out of more than seven thousand memorabilia in hand,) owing to the rapid and wide-spread publication in so many issues of the press, interchangeably, of the same anecdotes or performances, to trace out and authenticate their paternity or first source ; — a difficulty still further increased by the citation, in frequent cases, of different authorities or sources for the same narration, incident, poem, etc., etc. This lack and confusion of identity, so com- mon, and perhaps unavoidable, in the making up of anecdotical columns, selections of miscellany, poetry, and extracts from current books, for the press, did not, hoAvever, inter- pose any barrier to their use in a work like this. But if, arising from this circumstance, anything has thus unconsciously been appropriated for these pages which encroaches upon any exclusive and verified proprietorship, or upon any repository of avoAved and genuine originality, such matter "will as readily and cheerfully be eliminated from the text as it Avas there giAen a place. With reference to those passages which inA'ol\ T e the heated language of personal colloquy or combat, it seemed not always possible, howeA T er much to be desired, to divest them of all their excited, and eA r en irreverent expletives, and at the same time preserve the animus of the occurrence as it actually transpired. Nor, indeed, is it a 10 PREFACE. question in ethics, readily to be answered in the affirmative, whether the recital of those ghastly scenes of blood and death, which necessarily constitute the substance of every war and of all war literature, and which are read of with such avidity, can be considered any more congenial to a correct taste and moral sensibility, than the merely verbal attestations, however imprecatory, by which they were accompanied. As showing the extent and variety of matter contained in this volume, the simple statement will suffice, that the accompanying list of Battles, Engagements, Collisions, etc., etc., consulted in the preparation of these anecdotes, numbers several thousand ; — of Generals and Naval Commanders, and of Public Vessels, many hundred ; — each list reflecting a multitude of pleasing, spicy, unique, and startling events. Besides these, there is presented a classified outline of the topical contents or special subjects pertaining to each of the Eight Parts, and a most copious Index to the leading anec- dotes is placed at the close. Of the mechanical appearance of this book, the names, enterprise and liberality, of the eminent Publishers, will at once be accepted as vouchers that nothing in the typographical and illustrative art has been omitted by them, to gratify the eye, and to render the publication one in every way deserving universal patronage. • The numerous Illustrative Engravings, executed in the highest style of beauty and without regard to cost, by the most skillful artists in the country, which are here presented, constitute a feature of embellishment in no other instance attempted in books of this kind. They are of themselves alone worth the full price of the volume. LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. PLATES, PORTRAITS, AND DESCRIPTIVE EMBELLISHMENTS. Designed.and Engraved Expressly for this Work, by N. Orr & Co., New York. 1. LIEUT.-GEN. GRANT AND HIS BRAVE SOLDIERS, 2. EMBLEMATIC TITLE-PAGE,— Battle and Corps' Flags,— Printed in Colors, 3. Dedicatory Vignette, ..:.... 4. ILLUSTRATIVE PLATE FOR PART I.— The American Flag Triumphant! 5. Illuminated Initial Letter, ....... 6. Portrait of John C. Calhoun, 7. Afraid of the Girl's Eye, 8. According to their Sympathies, 9. Vindication of the Flag Abroad, 10. Portrait of Edwin M. Stanton, 11. Portrait of Joseph Holt, 12. Portrait of Abraham Lincoln, 13. Homage to the Flag by an Eagle, 14. Front-Door Confabulations, 15. Portrait of Fernando Wood, 16. Portrait of C. L. Vallandigham, 17. Carolina Unionist, 18. Portrait of Stephen A. Douglas, 19. Portrait of William H Seward, 20. And the Brother shall Deliver up the Brother to Death, 21. Hard Shell Brethren, .... 22. Portrait of Gen. Robert Anderson, 23. Portrait of Lieut.-Gen. Winfield Scott, 24. Minute Men of Massachusetts, 25. Portrait of Col. R. Barnwell Rhett, 26. Portrait of John Tyler, 27. Portrait of Preston S. Brooks, 28. The Boy Father to the Man, 29. Presidential Fayor for Everybody, 30. Portrait of Howell Cobb, . 31. Which Side? 32. Portrait of Mrs. Lincoln, 33. Romantic Adventure, . , 34. Portrait of Edmund Ruffin, 35. Refusing to Volunteer, 36. Portrait of Andrew Jackson, 37. Swear Him, &c, 38. Witnessing and Dying for the Truth, 39. Portrait of Edward Everett, 40. Portrait of J. C. Breckinridge, 41. Stating the Exact Alternative, 42. Portrait of Mrs. Stephen A. Douglas, 43. Portrait of Charles J. Faulkner, PAGE. Frontispiece. 12 LIST OP ILLUSTRATIONS. 44. Interceding for her Father, 45. God's Flag, .... 46. Portrait of R. M. T. Hunter, 47. Portrait of Gen. Philip Sheridan, 48. Length of the War, 49. • Accommodating Himself to Circumstances, 50. ILLUSTRATIVE PLATE FOR PART II.— Ho! for the War, 51. Illuminated Initial Letter, 52. How does he grow 'em? 53. Love and Patriotism, . 54. Ira's Wife and his Breeches, 55. Fate of a Coward, 56. Fannnie and Nellie; 57. Career of Frank Henderson, . 58. Portrait of Lieut.-Gen. Ulysses S. Grant 59. Hopeful Tackett, 60. Portrait of John Letcher, 61. Effect of Crinoline, 62. Portrait of " Stonewall " Jackson, 63. Portrait of Col. Billy Wilson, 64. Quite the Youngest Recruit, 65* Drafting Scene, 66. Equal to the Emergency, 67. Fightin' ober a Bone, 68. Bounty Jumper Captured by a Dog, 69. Tender in Years, but Patriotic, 70. Snaked Away and Drummed In, 71. Tenderness of the President, 72. ILLUSTRATIVE PLATE FOR PART III.— Bombardment of Fort Sumter, 73. Illuminated Initial Letter, 74. Rallying around the Flag, 75. Portrait of Gen. Geo. H. Thomas, 76. Young America, 77. Is the Colonel at Home? 78. War and Navy Buildings, 79. Old Capitol Prison, Washington, 80. California Joe, 81. Portrait of Gen. Felix K. Zollicoffer, 82. Portrait of Gen. John C. Fremont, 83. Going in Quest of Satisfaction, 84. Portrait of Gen. Humphrey Marshall, 85. General Meade's Head-quarters, 86. Well Done for a Youth, . 87. Portrait of Gen. Judson Kilpatrick, 88. Good Samaritan, 89. Portrait of Gen. Wm. W Ayerill, 90. Too Big Not to be a Soldier, 91. Portrait of Judah P. Benjamin, 92. Lieut. Davis's Task, 93. Portrait of Major Zagonyi, 94. Mrs. Brownell, the Heroine, 95. Portrait of Gen. Pope, 96. Portrait of Gen. Saxton, - LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS, 13 97. Courtesies of Picket Life, 98. Portrait of Gen. A. Sidney Johnston, 99. Won his Wager, 100. Portrait of Gen. Longstreet, . 101. Uncomfortably Warm Place, 102. Head-quarters of Lee, Gettysburg, 103. Preferred to Die in the Field, 104. Characteristic Pluck, 105. Ragged Texans, 106. Remember Fort Pillow, 107. Use for a Shell, 108. Portrait of Gen. Jeff. Thompson, 109. Fate of Two Germans, 110. Owning Up, 111. Portrait of Gen. Philip Kearny, 112. Negro Rifleman, 113. Portrait of Gen. E. D. Baker, 114. Fairfax Court House, . . - 115. Portrait of Col. Ellsworth, 116. Bull Run Battlefield, 117. Neutral Cornfield, 118. Portrait of Gen. J. E. Johnston, 119. Climbing the Mountains, 120. Union Bushwhackers and Rebel Cavalry 121. Portrait of Maj.-Gen. McPherson, 122. Portrait of Gen. Barksdale, . 123. Portrait of Gen. Dayid Hunter, 124. Union and Rebel Pickets, 125. Portrait of Gen. A. E. Burnside, 126. Soldiers Captured by a Boy, . 127. Portrait of Albert Pike, . 128. Intrepid Conduct, 129. Bob, the Spunky Drummer Boy, 130. Portrait of Gen. H. W. Slocum, 131. Portrait of Gov. H. A. Wise, 132. Capt. Tilden's Lucky Escape, . 133. As Good as a Captured Gun, 134. Portrait of Gen. J. C. Pemberton, 135. Portrait of Gen. L. Polk, 136. Ahead of his Troops, . 137. Surrender of Gen. Lee, 138. Portrait of Gen. G. A. Custer, 139. ILLUSTRATIVE PLATE FOR PART IV 140. Illuminated Initial Letter, 141. Raking a Traitor, . 142. Naval Peacemaker, 143. Portrait of Lieut. Worden, 144. " Charge ! Chester, Charge J " 145. Portrait of Admiral Dupont, 146. Half-hour's Visit at Island No. 10, 147. Light-House at Fort Morgan, 148. Portrait of Admiral Porter, . 149. Before Vicksburg, Naval Scenes and Exploits, -Varieties of the War, 14 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 150. Pleasant Hoax all Round, .... 151. Wreck of the Monitor, 152. Portrait of Capt. J. A. Winslow, 153. Portrait of Admiral A. H. Foote, 154. Blue-Jacket on his Mule, 155. Lieut. Cushing's Great Exploit, 156. Another Cassabianca, . 157. • Pictorial Humors of the War, 158. Portrait of Secretary Welles, 159. Portrait of Com. Bailey, . 160. Portrait of Capt. Semmes, 161. Buchanan's Sword Yielded, 162. ■ River Devils for Carrying on War, . 163. The Merrimac, 164. Gunboat Fight at Fort Pillow, 165. Fleet of Gunboats in the James River, 166. Farragut lashed t so much of the English blood, from which Ave are derived, and which yet flows in Yankee veins ; but that we began by blundering and blundering — [laughter] — but I think we are doing bet- ter and better at every step. [Loud cheers.] Right kind of Government to be Established Down South. Colonel Hanson, of the Kentucky Sec- ond, was one of the prisoners that fell into Union hands at Fort Donelson. Not so taciturn as some of his comrades he en- tered into an animated conversation with the Union Lieutenant who had him in charge, on " the situation," telling frankly some bad truth : Colonel — Well, you were too hefty for us. Lieutenant — Yes, but you were pro- tected by these splended defences. Col — Your troops fought like tigers. Lieut — Do you think now one South- ern man can whip five Northern men ? Col — Not Western men. Your troops are better than Yankee troops — fight harder — endure more. The devil and all hell can't stand before such fellows. But we drove you back. Lieut — Why didn't you keep us back ? Col — You had too many reinforcements. Lieut — But we had no more troops en- gaged in the fight than you had. Col — Well, you whipped us, but you havn't conquered us. You can never con- quer the South. 6 Lieut — We don't wish to conquer the South ; but we'll restore the Stars and Stripes to Tennessee, if we have to hang ten thousand such dare-devils as you are. Col — Never mind, Sir, you will never get up to Nashville. Lieut — Then Nashville will surrender before we start. Col— Well, well, the old United States flag is played out — we intend to have a right Government down here. Lieut — What am I to understand by a ' right Government ? ' Col — A Government based on property, and not a damned mechanic in it. Lieut — Do these poor fellows, who have been fighting for you, understand then that they have no voice in the ' right Gov- ernment ' that you seek to establish ? Col — They don't care. They have no property to protect. Tracing his Political Pedigree A northern sympathizer with the South was denouncing, in immeasurable terms, the United States Government and the war, when the company was joined by a neighbor, a strong Union man, and after listening for a time, he interrupted him with the remark : " You came honestly by your principles — you are a tory, natural- ly." " What do you mean ? " said Secesh. " Yon know," said Union, " that during the war with Great Britain, the British entered the harbor and burned the town of New London." " Well, what of that," said S. "Why, somebody piloted them in, and when his dirty work was done, he came home with the British gold, and his neighbors, hearing of his presence, pro- vided themselves with ropes and made him an evening call, when he made his escape by the back door, and fled to the island of Bermuda, and died there." "Well," said S., " what has all that to do with it?" "Well," said Union, "that pilot was your grandfather." 88 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. Pelicans vs. Eagles. A little incident in connection with the custom-house at New Orleans, would seem to show that secession was a thing thought of by some of the southern leaders many years ago. This was not done merely to assert the. doctrine of State Rights, but rather with the deliberate purpose and ex- pectation that Louisiana would one day become an independent nation. The cus- tom-house in question has been in the course of erection some sixteen years or so, and, more than ten years ago, there were put up the heraldic ornamentations and devices which usually give to such an edifice the indications of its nationality. An examination, however, shows that there is not on the building the slightest indica- tion that it was erected and owned by the United States. As many as ten or twelve years ago, Beauregard and Slidell displayed their propensity to treason by ignoring the arms of the United States and substituting in their stead the Pelican of Louisiana. And there to this day is the sectional sym- bol, occupying the place of right and honor in the great room, where should be the eagle and the shield. Mistook his Man. Rev. Mr. was a priest of the Catholic church in Missouri, his parochial precinct embracing several counties. A staunch Union man from the beginning, he hoisted the Stars and Stripes over the door of his church at the commencement of the war, and there he kept them flying. His life was threatened, he was warned to flee, but he maintained his ground. He knew the views and sentiments of every man in his parish, which extended from the Iowa line to Missouri river. One day he saw a man moving about from house to house and having business with rebel sympathizers. He watched the fellow's course. He noticed also a wagon filled with bedding, with a woman and children, as if the family were on the move. It stopped at the houses of rebel sympathizers. He took notes and kept his own counsel. One night he was waited upon by a ruffianly looking fellow, who ad- vised him to flee, as there was to be an uprising of the rebels, and his life might be in danger. Out of respect for the Catholic religion, he had called to give him timely warning. " The wagon which you may have seen filled with bedding," said the fellow, " contained guns and am- munition. Our friends (rebels) are sup- plied with arms, and will soon be in posses- sion of the country." " Sir," said the priest, " you have come voluntarily into my house and told what I had already mistrusted. I give you two hours to leave this town. If you are found here at the expiration of that time you need not appeal to me to save your life. Go, Sir!" . The ruffian had mistaken his man. He disappeared, and the rebel sympathizers did not rise. The nearest Federal officers were at once informed of what was going on, and the Union citizens were immedi- ately supplied with arms. Sprinkling' Blood in the Face of the People. Jere. Clemens, of Alabama, in a public address given by him, related an interesting circumstance in connection with the early history of the Rebellion, as illustrating the predetermination of the leaders to plunge the country into war. He was in Mont- gomery soon after the Ordinance of Seces- sion was passed, and was present at an interview between Jeff. Davis, Memmin- ger and others. They were discussing the propriety of firing upon Sumter. Two or three of them withdrew to the corner of the room, and, said Mr. C, " I heard Gilchrist say to the Secretary of War, ' It must be done. Delay two months and Alabama stays in the Union. You must sprinkle blood in the face of the people.' The meeting then adjourned." The traitor chieftains were as good as their word. Sumter was fired upon. Blood was sprinkled " in the face of the PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 89 people," and from this sprinkling the best blood of the nation, in both sections, was made to flow as a river. " Sprinkle blood in the face of the people ! " — a trim and Iloweil Cobb. polished phrase which filled a continent with woes unutterable! It was doctrine such as this, that Howell Cobb taught in Georgia, and, by carrying that glorious old State over to secession, gave force and prestige to the disloyal movement in its first stages, and thus reddened the history of the whole country with four years of blood. Andy Johnson and the Clerical Secessionists. The State of Tennessee had a watchful pilot at the helm when Andrew Johnson was its Governor. He was early called to deal with secessionists and traitors in this capacity. One day a pair of citizens belonging, professionally, to 'the cloth,' stood before him, and the following dia- logue between the respective parties, ' spir- itual ' and ' secular,' will throw some light on the question ' Who was the truer man ? ' Gov. Johnson — Well, gentlemen, what is your desire ? Rev. Mr. Sehon — I speak but for myself. I do not know what the other gentlemen wish. My request is that I may have a few days to consider on the subject of sign- ing this paper. I wish to gather my fam- ily together and talk over the subject; for this purpose, I desire about fourteen days. Gov. Johnson — It seems to me there should be but little hesitation about the matter. All that is required of you is to sign the oath of allegiance. If you are loyal citizens, you can have no reason to refuse to do so. If you are disloyal, and working to obstruct the operations of the Government, it is my duty, as the repre- sentative of that Government, to see that you are placed in a position so that the least possible harm shall result from your proceedings. You certainly cannot reason- ably refuse to renew your allegiance to the Government that is now protecting you and your families and property. Rev. Mr. Elliott — As a non-combatant? Governor, I considered that under the stipulations of the surrender of the city, I should be no further annoyed. As a non- combatant, I do not know that I have com- mitted an act, since the Federals occupied the city, that would require me to take the oath required. Gov. Johnson — I believe, Mr. Elliott, you have two brothers in Ohio. Mr. Elliott — Yes, Governor, I have two noble brothers, there. They did not agree with me in the course I pursued in regard to secession. But I have lived in Ten- nessee so many years that I have consid- ered the State my home, and am willing to follow her fortunes. Tennessee is a good State. Gov. Johnson — I know Tennessee is a good State : and I believe the best way to improve her fortunes is to remove those from her borders who prove disloyal and traitors to her interest, as they are traitors to the interest of that Government which has fostered and protected them. By your inflammatory remarks and conversation, and by your disloyal behavior, in weaning the young under your charge from their allegiance to the Government, you have won a name that will never be placed on the roll of patriots. A visit to the North may be of benefit to you. 90 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION Loyal Demonstration with a Crutch. At one of the fashionable hotels in New York, there boarded for a time, during the war, a somewhat wrathful secession sym- pathizer — one of the New England and consequently one of the worst kind, — and a chivalric, spirited Major-General of the army, minus a leg, and hobbling about on his crutch. Fired by natural folly and a luxurious dinner, the former insulted the latter, as he was passing through the halls, with loud and coarse denunciations of the war, anil all who fought on the loyal side in it. The cripple turned and faced the coward, demanding apology and retraction. They were denied. The man of crutch and soul then asked the name of the pol- troon traducer of his country and her patriots. With natural instinct, a wrong one was given. Other words followed ; another insult was added by the traducer ; whereupon the hero of Chancellorsville and Gettysburg " shouldered his crutch and showed how fields were won," by breaking it over the head of said degenerate son of Adam, who then took himself off, with at least one new idea in his head, namely, that the next crippled soldier of the army he insulted had better be somebody else than Dan Sickles. First Oath and Testimony of a Slave in Virginia. A few miles from Fortress Monroe, to- ward Buck river, there is a place called Fox Hill, in the neighborhood of which are or were several excellent farms, one of these being the " Hudgins place." The Hudgins family had absconded when Gen- eral Magruder retired from Hampton, and, under permission from General Wool, Cap- tain Wilder (superintendent of the colored inhabitants) had allowed a colored man named Anthony Bright to occupy and cul- tivate the Hudgins farm. Under this per- mission Anthony had carried on the place in 1861, and up to August, 1862, assisted by other industrious and well-behaved ne- groes. In July or August, 1862, Mrs. Hialgins and her two children had unexpectedly returned to the farm, taken possession of the mansion, and set up a claim to the' harvest of 1862. She came with her claim to the provost judge, John A. Bolles. On the other hand, Anthony Bright, in behalf of himself and his black co-laborers, presented his claims to the fruit of his labors, and called on the judge for protec- tion. A day and hour was appointed for the trial. Mrs. Hudgins was an intelligent lady, and in all her conduct and conversa- tion made a very pleasant impression on those who observed them. Anthony Bright was a tall, finely-formed, and very bright young man of perhaps thirty years of age. He was a slave. His master had been many years in California, and during that period Anthony had been left in charge of Mr. and Mrs. Hudgins, who had allowed him on payment of $75 a year to work for himself and to act as though he were a freeman. About half an hour before the trial was to begin, Col. Joseph Segar, the member of Congress from that district, called upon the provost judge in behalf of Mrs. Hud- gins, and among other things inquired if the judge was intending to allow Anthony or any other slave to testify. The judge answered yes. But the Colonel begged him to reconsider his determination, re- minding him of the exclusionary rule of the Virginia law of evidence, and remark- ing that in his own judgment the admission of colored witnesses would, more than al- most anything else that could happen, dis- please the Union men among his (Segar's) constituency, and prejudice the cause of the federal government. The judge, however, was unmoved by that suggestion, and ven- tured to express the belief that never again in the Old Dominion would a colored man be banished, as unworthy of belief or as unfit to be heard, from a court of justice. " However, Colonel," said he, " I will first examine Mrs. Hudgins, and possibly she may save me the necessity of shocking the PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 91 prejudice of your constituents. If she places the case beyond the need of further evidence, or is herself desirous to hear what Anthony will say, your difficulty will be obviated."' Accordingly Mrs. Hudgins appeared in court, and after being sworn, proceeded to relate her story. From her statements and the documents which she produced, it ap- peared that the farm, which formerly be- longed to her father, had been devised by him to her two minor children, and that she was the executrix of the will, and guardian of the little girls. Her husband, then with the rebels, had no interest hi the farm. She went on to state what "Anthony said," and what 'Anthony told me," and was interrupted by the judge, who in- quired, " But who is Anthony, Mrs. Hud- gins?" "Anthony," answered she, with much surprise, " why, judge, Anthony is the colored man that claims the harvest." " Yes," said the judge, " but isn't he a slave, and would you think of believing what he said, or of washing me to hear his story?" "Of course, Sir," replied Mrs. H., " why should not I believe him ? He was brought up in the family. I would believe him as quickly as I would one of my children." "And have you no objec- tions to my examining Anthony, and at- tacliing such credit as I please to what he may say ? " " No objection in the world, judge ; I want you to hear him." Here the judge exchanged glances with Colonel Segar, and said, " Well, Colonel, I don't see but that I must gratify Mrs. Hudgins ; " and the Colonel, in a tone that was almost amusing, responded, " I suppose you must." Anthony was accordingly called into court, and told all that Mrs. Hudgins had said, to which he assented as strictly true. He was then asked if he had ever testified under oath. " No, Sir," said he, very re- spectfully, " I never has." He was further asked if he knew what an oath was, and what would be the consequences of false swearing. " I s'pose so master," was his answer ; " If I ask God to hear me tell lie, God will punish me for lying." " Very well, Anthony ; very truly answered," said the judge. '■'•And now, Anthony" continued Judge Bolles, rising as he spoke, " / am about to administer to you the oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Hold up your right hand" It was worthy of a long journey to be- hold Anthony in that supreme moment of his life. As he lifted his hand and arm aloft, he seemed to gain several inches in height ; his broad chest expanded and his dark eye lighted up as with the inspiration of a new manhood. He was a noble spec- imen, physically and intellectually, of his race, and most favorably impressed all who saw him. Anthony produced the permission of Captain Wilder and of General Wool, and then told his story clearly and intelligibly and with a modesty as pleasing as his in- telligence was remarkable. When he had finished his statement, the judge asked the lady if she wished to cross-examine An- thony ; but she said, " No, I believe he has told the truth." And there, so far as the evidence was concerned, the case was ended. The judge gave the parties a short time to settle the matter among themselves, and at the end of that period, as they had not come to a settlement, appointed a commis- sioner to divide the products of the farm, awarding one half of the harvest to the ex- ecutrix and guardian, as the representative of the land, and the other half to Anthony and his associates, as the representatives of the labor. This decision was satisfactory to both the panties in interest, and even Col- onel Segar was content with the result, though not entirely pleased with the pro- cess by which it was attained. Two King's at the South. Senator Hammond, of South Carolina, will long be remembered for his famous "mudsill" speech in the United States Senate, in the palmy days of Union, when 92 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION. the lion and the lamb there commingled. In that speech, the vivacious Senator de- clared that by means of her cotton crop the South could " bring the whole world to her feet." With a defiant air he went on to say : " "What would happen if no cotton was furnished for three years ? I will not stop to depict what every one can imagine, but this is certain — England would topple headlong and carry the whole civil- ized world with her, save the South. No, you dare not make war upon cotton. No power on earth dares to make war upon it. Cotton is King ! " Senator Hammond, as well as many others, unquestionably be- lieved this, and acted accordingly. But there were and are a much greater num- ber believing, with Senator Clark, of New Hampshire, who, in his review of the astute South Carolinian's argument, re- marked : " Cotton is King ! Sir, there is another King besides Cotton — Humbug is Kins ! " Which Side? Walking one day on the beach at Birattz, Louis Napoleon happened to meet an intel- Which Side? salute, and said, "Are you English?" "No," answered the boy, very quickly, and drawing himself up, " I'm American." " Oh ! American, are you ? Well, tell me, which are you for, North or South?" " Well, father's for the North, I believe ; but I am certainly for the South. For which of them are you, Sir ? " The Em- peror stroked his moustache, smiled, hesi- tated a little, and then said, " I'm lor both ! " " For both, are you ? Well, that's not so easy, and it will please nobody!" His Majesty let the conversation drop and walked on. ligent looking boy, about eight or nine years old, who took off his hat as he passed. The Emperor courteously returned the Diseases of the Brain and Heart. In one of the upper townships of Ohio were two farmers, their places being sep- arated by a small creek. They were well- to-do people, but diametrically opposed in politics, and each noted for the zeal with which he defended his sentiments, Mr. M. being a straight uncompromising Union man, and Mr. S. an anti-war Democrat. Meeting a few days before the State elec- tion, Mr. S. accosted his neighbor, say- ing: " How is it, friend M., — I hear there is a very prevalent disease on your side of the creek ! " "Ah!" said Mr. M., "what is the dis- ease?" " N-i-g-g-e-r on the brain," replied Mr. S. " Well," said Mr. M., " that is a mere trifle compared to the malady existing on the other side." " Indeed ! " exclaimed Mr. S., "and pray what can that be ? " " Treason on the heart ! " retorted M. The conversation " took a turn." Treason in an Unexpected Quarter. As one of the boats containing Federal prisoners was on its way to the point where an exchange was to be made, the rebel Captain essayed a conversation with one of the passengers on board, the circum- stances and situation furnishing the theme. PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC 93 "I am a Northern man myself; my name is Samuel Todd ; I am Mrs. Lincoln's brother," said the Captain. "And what are you doing here ? " asked the passenger. " Yes, Sir," he repeated, in a musing man- ner, " I am Mrs. Lincoln's brother. I was Mrs. Lincoln. bom and brought up in the North ; but I am into this thing on the Southern side, and I mean to see it through." To this the Captain received answer : " Now, you know very well that the cause of the Union, for which the United States are fighting, will be successful in the end, and what in the world are you doing down here, fighting against the lawful govern- ment of the Union — fighting against your own historic flag, which you know has been respected and honored by the civil- ized world?" This allusion to the Stars and Stripes seemed to touch him ; but he answered, " I came down here several years ago, made some money, bought some property, and my home and interest are here. We consider that the Northern people are encroaching on our rights, and of course we feel bound to protect them, or die in the attempt." And yet, there was no truer-hearted loyal woman, during the Avar, than Mrs. Lincoln, whose mis- guided brother was thus willing to " die in the attempt" to destroy the best and most benign government in the world. Hatred of Southern Unionists to Southern Rebels. In one of the tents of a Union Mary- land regiment a man was found who had been wounded in an engagement Avith a rebel Maryland regiment, in Avhich Avere two of his cousins, "the same as brothers to him — they had all gone to school together and lived on the next farm to each other all their lives, till the Avar broke out." The Unionist Avas asked if it would not have been very disagreeable to him if he had learnt that either of them had been shot by a bullet from him. " No," he an- SAvered savagely, " I Avas on the lookout for them all the time, so that I might aim at them. I Avas hoping and praying all the time that my shot might by chance reach them. I would ask for nothing better than to shoot them, or to stick them with my bayonet — curse the traitors ! " When throAvn together on picket or in hospital, the Yankee boys from Massachusetts or Ohio, and the Johnnies from Alabama and Mississippi Avere the best of friends ; but the loyal Virginian scoAvled darkly on the rebel Virginian, and the rebel Tennesseean had only a curse for the loyal Tennesseean — and so of the other border States. " To the Manor Born." At one of the receptions at Secretary SeAvard's, the dusky representative of Haytien government Avas present as one of the diplomatic corps. This distin- guished colored gentleman figured con- spicuously among the richly attired ladies and official dignitaries in attendance ; but at the refreshment table an awkward inci- dent occurred in connection Avith him. One of the representatives from Missouri, upon reaching the table with a lady upon his arm, obserA-ed a Avell dressed negro helping the ladies to oysters, and suppos- ing him to be one of the waiters, the Mis- sourian, holding out his plate, directed the supposed seiwant to " put some oysters on that plate." The colored gentleman hes- itated. The Missourian then became more 94 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION imperative, when the colored individual, whom he addressed as " waiter " — looking daggers at him — finally obeyed the order. The incident was generally observed, and the Missourian was soon after informed that the colored personage whom he had commanded as a servant and addressed as " waiter," w r as " His Excellency " the Hay- tien Minister. " I am very sorry for the mistake," replied the gentleman from Mis- souri ; " But as I own a/i hundred as, good looking negroes as he, I can not afford to apologize for so natural a misconception of his position." Such an occurrence seems in keeping with the domination at Washington which preceded the Rebellion, but not subsequently. It may, however, have taken place, and at all events illus- trate the manner of those who are " to the manor born." "Welcome to the Tioops at Port Royal. Our troops at Port Royal were accom- panied in their first reconnoissance into the island by Dr. J. J. Craven, who re- ported the negroes on the plantations further inland as almost wild with delight at the advent of our soldiers and the hasty flight of their masters, which they described with great gusto. Said one of them to the Doctor : " 0, Lord ! massa, we're so glad to see you. We'se prayed and prayed the good Lord that he would send yer Yankees, and we know'd you'se was coming." " How could you know that ? " asked Dr. Craven : " You can't read the paper ; how did you get the news ? " " No, massa, we'se can't read, but we'se can listen. Massa and missus used to read, and sometimes they'se would read loud, and then we would listen so" (mak- ing an expressive gesture indicative of close attention at a key hole) ; " when I'se get a chance I'se would list'h, and Jim, him would list'n, and we put the bits together, and we knowed the Yankees were coming. Bress the Lord, massa." Constructive Parole Rights. A detective officer belonging to the New York police force, named Hart, who accompanied Mrs. Anderson cm her visit to her husband at Fort Sumter, obtained permission to remain there on condition that he should not fight. He faithfully observed his parole, but when the barracks took fire, he exclaimed, " I didn't promise not to fight fire ! " and devoted himself with almost superhuman energy, to extinguish the flames. With balls hissing and shells bursting around him, he worked on un- daunted, and could with the utmost diffi- culty be forced away from the burning buildings, even when it was death to remain. When the flag was shot down, the Charlestonians concentrated their fire upon the flag staff, to prevent its being replaced ; but unmindful of the shot, which whizzed by him every second. Hart nailed the flag to the wall, amid cheers from the United States troops. That Flag- Presentation in New Orleans. General Butler had a dandy regiment in New Orleans — one a little nicer in uniform and personal habits than any other ; and so ably commanded, that it had not lost a man by disease since leaving New England. One day the Colonel of this fine regiment came to head-quarters, wearing the expression of a man who had something exceedingly pleasant to commu- nicate. It was just before the fourth of July, and this is Mr. Parton's apt narra- tion of what followed : " General," said he " two young ladies have been to me — beautiful girls — who say they have made a set of colors for the regiment, which they wish to present on the fourth of July." " But is their father willing ? " asked the General, well knowing what it must cost two young ladies of New Orleans, at that early time, to range themselves so con- spicuously on the side of the Union. " Oh, yes," replied the Colonel ; " their father gave them the money, and will PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC 95 attend at the ceremony. But have you any objections ? " " Not the least, if their father is willing." " Will you ride out and review the regi- ment on the occasion ? " " With pleasure." So, in the cool twilight of the evening of the fourth, the General, in his best uniform, with chapeau and feathers, worn then for the first time in New Orleans, reviewed the regiment amid a concourse of spectators. One of the young ladies made a pretty presentation speech, to which the gallant Colonel handsomely replied. The General made a brief address. It was a gay and joyful scene ; everything passed off with the highest eclat, and was chroni- cled with all the due editorial flourish in the Delta. Subsequently, the young ladies ad- dressed a note to the regiment, of which the following is a copy : New Orleans, July 5, 18G2. " Gentlemen : — We congratulate and thank you all for the manner in which you have received our flag. AVe did not ex- pect such a reception. We offered the flag to you as a gift from our hearts, as a reward to your noble conduct. Be assured, gentlemen, that that day will be always present in our minds, and that we will never forget that we gave it to the bravest of the brave ; but if ever danger threatens your heads, rally under that banner, call again your courage to defend it, as you have promised, and remember that those from Avhom you received it will help you by their prayers to win the palms of victory and triumph over your enemies. We tender our thanks to General Butler for lending his presence to the occasion, and for his courtesies to us. May he continue his noble work, and ere long may we be- hold the Union victorious over his foes and reunited throughout our great and glorious country. Very respectfully." A few days later, an officer of the regi- ment came into the office of the command- ing General, his countenance not clad in smiles. He looked like a man who had seen a ghost, or one who had suddenly heard of some entirely crushing calamity. " General," he gasped, " we have been sold. They were negroes ! " "What! Those lovely blondes, with blue eyes and light hair ? Impossible !" " General, it's as true as there's a heaven above. The whole town is laughing at us." " Well," said the General, " there's no harm done. Say nothing about it. I suppose we must keep it out of the papers, and hush it up as well as we can." They did not quite succeed in keeping it out of the papers, for one of the "for- eign neutrals " of the city sent an account of the affair to the Courier des Etats Unis, in New York, with the inevitable French decorations. Original Conspiracy to Assassinate Mr. Lincoln. That Mr. Lincoln, the President-elect, was to feel the sting of Southern steel — as proclaimed by his political enemies — on his way to Washington, to take the oath of office, is now historical. A detect- ive of great experience, who had been employed by Mr. Lincoln's friends, dis- covered a combination of men banded together under a most solemn oath, to do the deed of assassination. The leader of the conspirators was an Italian refugee, a barber, well known in Baltimore, who assumed the name of Orsini, as indicative of the part he was to assume. The assistants employed by the detect- ive of this plot, who, like himself, were strangers in Baltimore, by assuming to be secessionists from Louisiana and other sece- ding States, gained the confidence of some of the conspirators, and were thus intrusted Avith their plans. It was arranged, in case Mr. Lincoln should pass safely over the railroad to Baltimore, that the conspira- tors should mingle with the crowd which might surround his carriage, and by pre- tending to be his friends, be enabled to 96 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. approach his person, when, upon a signal from their leader, some of them would shoot at Mr. Lincoln with their pistols, and others would throw into his carriage hand-grenades filled with detonating pow- der, similar to those used in the attempted assassination of the Emperor Louis Na- poleon. It was also intended that in the confusion which should result from this attack, the assailants should escape to a vessel which was waiting in the harbor to receive them, and be carried to Mobile, in the seceding State of Alabama. Upon Mr. Lincoln's arrival in Philadel- phia, upon Thursday, February 21st, the detective visited Philadelphia, and submit- ted to certain friends of the President- elect the information he had collected as to the conspirators and their plans. An interview was immediately arranged for between Mr. Lincoln and the detective. The interview took place in Mr. Lincoln's room, in the Continental Hotel, where he Avas staying. Mr. Lincoln, having heard the officer's statement, replied : " I have promised to raise the American flag on Independence Hall to-morrow morning — the morning of the anniversary of Washington's birthday — and have ac- cepted the invitation of the Pennsylvania Legislature to be publicly received by that body in the afternoon. Both of these en- gagements I ivill keep if it costs me my life. If, however, after I shall have con- cluded these engagements, you can take me in safety to Washington, I will place myself at your disposal, and authorize you to make such arrangements as you may deem proper for that purpose." On the next day he gallantly performed the ceremony of raising the American flag on Independence Hall ; he then went to Harrisburg, where he was formally welcomed by the Legislature, and at six o'clock in the evening he, in company with Col. Lamon, quietly entered a carriage without observation, and was driven to the Pennsylvania railroad, where a special train was waiting to take him to Philadel- phia.' On his departure, the telegraph wires were cut, so that no communication of his movements could be made. The special train arrived in Philadel- phia at a quarter to eleven at night. Here he was met by the detective, who had a carriage in readiness, into which the party entered, and were driven to the depot of the Philadelphia, Wilmington and Balti- more railroad. They did not reach the depot until a quarter past eleven; but fortunately for them, the regular train, the hour of which for starting was eleven, had been detained. The party then took berths in the sleeping car, and without change of cars passed directly through to Washington, where they arrived at the usual hour, half-past six o'clock, on the morning of Saturday, the 23d. Mr. Lincoln wore no disguise whatever, but journeyed in an ordinary traveling dress. Protection under the Constitution. Among the incidents attending the op- erations of the celebrated Mackerelville Brigade, at or near the seat of war, is the following, recounted by the historiogra- pher-extraordinary of the corps, Mr. Kerr. It seems that just at the moment when the Conic Section was proceeding to make a " masterly movement," an aged chap came dashing down from a First Family country seat, near by, and says he to the General of the Mackerel Brigade : " I demand a guard for my premises immediately. My wife," says he with dignity, " has just been making a custard pie for the sick Confederacies in the hos- pital, and as she has just set it out to cool near where my little boy shot one of your vandals this morning, she is afraid it might be taken by your thieving mudsills when they come after the body. I, there- fore, demand a guard for my premises in the name of the Constitution of our fore- fathers." Here Capt. Bob Shorty stepped for- ward, and says he : PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 97 " What does the Constitution say about custard pie, Mr. Davis ? " The aged chap spat at him, and says he: " I claim protection under that clause which refers to the pursuits of happiness. Custard pies," says he reasoningly, " are included in the pursuits of happiness." " That's very true," says the General, looking kindly over his fan at the venera- ble petitioner. " Let a guard be detailed to protect this good old man's premises. We are fighting for the Constitution, not against it." A guard was detailed, with orders to make no resistance if they were fired upon occasionally from the windows of the house ; and then Captain Brown pushed forward with what was left of Company 3, to engage the Confederacy on the edge of Duck Lake, supported by the Orange County Howitzers. Unacquainted with Politics. No small pains were taken by certain partisan leaders, while General Grant was at Vicksburg, to inveigle him into some debate, or the expression of some definite idea or opinion relative to the state of the various political parties of the country, and their professed tenets. The General, however, Avas not thus to be drawn out. He had never attached himself to any mere partizan organization, and all the various political issues or questions were, to him, entirely subordinate to the great and single object of crushing the rebellion. While operating in the vicinity of Vicks- burg, his professed political friends paid a visit to his head-quarters, and after a short time spent in compliments, they touched upon the never-ending subject of politics. One of the party was in the midst of a very flowery speech, using all his rhetor- ical powers to induce the General, if pos- sible, to view matters in the same light as himself, when he was suddenly stopped by Grant. " There is no use of talking politics to me. I know nothing about them, and, furthermore, I do not know of any person among my acquaintances who does. But," continued he, " there is one subject with which I am perfectly acquainted ; talk of that, and I am your man." "What is that, General?" asked the politicians, in great surprise. " Tanning leather," was the reply. The subject was immediately changed. Secesh Taming-. War, like nearly every other sort of human experience, has its comical side. ' Old Ben Butler's ' management of New Orleans was " as good as a play," — a spice of humor in it, a certain apt felicitousness in turning the tables, calculated to make even the victim smile while he yet winced. It was the New Orleanaise who gave the General his soubriquet of ' Picayune Butler ' — that being the well known ap- pellative of the colored barber in the base- ment of the St. Charles. The fourpence ha'penny epithet of course implied how very cheap they held the commander at Ship Island. The Yankee General fetched up at the St. Charles. 'Twas empty and barred. Where was the landlord ? Off. The house must be opened. Impossible. It shall be forced. Well, here are the keys. So the first thing was to show he could keep a hotel. Next he sends Avord to the Mayor that he must see him at his parlor. Back comes word that His Honor does business at the City Hall. Straight goes a per- emptory message by an orderly, and Mayor Monroe and a Avhole be\y of dignitaries make their appearance, hats in hand. The hotel-keeper is induced to draAV it mild, and arranges that the civil government of the city shall remain in their hands on the condition that all the police and sanitary duties shall be faithfully performed. For a little while matters go on smoothly. But it soon became apparent that the streets Avere neglected, as if on purpose to invite YelloAV Jack to come and 98 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. make short work of the " Hessians." A sharp Avord goes from the St. Charles to the City Hall to start the hoes, and, at a jump, the hoes were started. But it went against the grain. The aldermen could not sleep o'nights. Yellow Jack ■out of the. question, they thought they would try la belle France. So they passed a resolution tendering the officers of the French frigate Catinet the freedom and hospitalities of the city. Up comes word from the St. Charles that this sort of thing don't answer — that ' the free- dom of a captured city by the captives would merit letters patent for its novelty, were there not doubts of its usefulness as an invention, and that the tender of hospi- talities by a government to which police duties and sanitary regulations only are intrusted is sinmly an invitation to the calaboose or the sewer.' The women next bridle up. They are not content with leaving our quiet soldiers to themselves, but must needs insult and abuse them. The General determines that this unfeminine practice, so provoca- tive of ill blood, shall stop. He proclaims that all women guilty of it shall be treated as disorderly Avomen. Thereupon Mayor Monroe steps again upon the scene, and as ' chief magistrate of this city, chargea- ble with its peace and dignity,' protests against an order 'so extraordinary and astonishing.' The immediate reply is that ' John T. Monroe, late Mayor of the city of New Orleans, is relieved from all re- sponsibility for the peace of the city, and committed to Fort Jackson until further orders.' Straightway the Mayor hurries down to the St. Charles, and makes a writ- ten retraction, to wit : ' This communica- tion having been sent under a mistake of fact, and being improper in language, I desire to apologize for the same, and to withdraAV it.' The retraction is accepted, and the Mayor retires ; but on the next day, having been taken to task by his clique, he again presents himself, with several backers, to get a modification of the ' Avoman order,' or to take back his apology. He receives for reply, that a modification is impossible, and with it an argument from the good-natured General shoAving its propriety and necessity. The Mayor boAvs, convinced, and leaA r es. Two days afterAvards again he comes down Avith his friends and insists upon having back his apology. The General, being of a yielding nature, politely hands it back, and, at the same moment, gives an order com- mitting the Avhole set to Fort Jackson, and there they ruminated. -♦ Romantic Adventure of a Tennessee Loy- alist. Of a similar character for boldness and intrepidity to Parson BroAvnloAv, Avas Hurst, the indomitable Unionist of Purdy, Tennessee. On returning from West Ten- nessee, to make his periodical report of himself — being under heaA r y bonds to the rebel powers to do so — and stopping at his home, he had no sooner entered his Romantic Adventure. house than he AA r as told to fly for his life, as a neAV accusation of being a traitor and a spy had been made against him by a malicious old rebel neighbor. He had barely time to make an appoint- ment Avith a bound boy, Avho loved him more than he did his OAvn father, to bring a faA'orite horse — that somehoAv escaped PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 99 the thieving confiscations of the rebels — to the entrance of a certain alley in the town. Scarcely had he made the arrange- ment when a file of Confederate soldiers was seen coming towards the house. He slipped out at the back door, passed through a neighboring garden, and in a minute more was walking composedly down the principal street of the town. His bold and unconcerned appearance created quite a stir in the town. Men whispered together, and winked and wag- ged their heads significantly, and now and then would dart off to give information to the rebel guard, who were searching for him. He knew his time was short, that in a few minutes they would come in upon him from all sides, and his chance for life would not be worth a straw. He quick- ened his pace a little, and suddenly entered an apothecary's shop ; dozens of men were watching him, and said — " Now he is trapped ; he'll be nabbed as he comes out." Hurst walked quickly through into the back room, and called the proprietor in after him. The apothecary entered smil- ingly, thinking, doubtless, of how soon he should see his guest dancing upon nothing in the air. The moment he had entered, Hurst grasped him suddenly by the throat, and placing a pistol at his ear, told him that if he attempted to raise the slightest alarm, and did not do exactly as he told him, he would fire. By this time a crowd had collected in front of the shop, and as they could not see what was passing in the back room, they waited until the guard should come up to arrest him. Hurst now opened the back door, and looking up the alley, he saw the faithful bound boy with the horse standing partly concealed in the entrance of the alley. He beckoned to the boy, who quickly brought the horse to him. He then turned to the trembling fellow, and said — " Now, sir, in the spot where you stand, the rifles of four of my faithful friends are covering you — they are hid in places that you least suspect, and if you move within the next ten minutes they will fire ; but if you remain perfectly quiet they will not harm you." The apothecary had become so com- pletely ' frickcned,' as the Irish would say, by the touch of cold steel at his ears, that he did not recognize at once the improba- bility of Hurst's story. In an instant more, Hurst had put spurs to his horse, and dashed out of the alley, leaving the terrified 'pothecary gaping after him, and the bound boy absolutely crying at his master's danger, and in another instant the rebel soldiers and the crowd entered the store, rushed through the back room and out at the back door, just in time to see Hurst dashing out of the alley at full speed. Horses Avithout number were at once in requisition, but Hurst distanced them all. He soon joined the Union army, and on its subsequent triumphant entry to Nashville, Hurst was on hand with them, naively remarking that he came so as to " defend his bondsmen from any damage they might suffer by his non-appearance, and ' report ' himself as he had agreed! " Them and Theirs— not Us. One of the most interesting cases among the rebel prisoners at Camp Denison, Ohio, was a wounded youth, whose heart was evi- dently busy doing poetic justice to the Yan- kees he had been taught to hate, though he still was anxious about Southern rights. Parson Clayton talked to him for some time concerning religious matters, and the young man at last broke in by saying, " We've talked about religion long enough, now let's talk politics." There Avas a peculiar Southernism about his look and tone that excited a smile all around. "Well," re- plied Mr. Clayton, " I'm not much on pol- itics ; I'd rather not talk about them — tell me how you felt when you were wounded." He did so: " Thought it would be a sharp pain, Sir, but it wasn't. I was wounded in the legs, 100 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. and it Avas just like my being knocked off my pins by a strong blow from a log of wood. Fell flat on my belly, and my knees drew themselves up under my chin. Made sure I was dead, but thought it didn't make much difference, for I saw our men retreating, and knew that the Yan- kees would get me and kill me sure ; al- ways was told, Sir, the Yankees had horns. Well, there I lay ; and up came a Colonel leading his men — he was in front, Sir; he jumped down from his horse, and ran to me drawing something from his belt, so I gave up ; but it wasn't a pistol, Sir," (and here the boy's eyes moistened) "it was a canteen ! He put it to my lips, I drank. He jumped on his horse again, and said, 'Charge, boys, they're fleeing!' Then some soldiers on foot came toward me, and I thought they're not all like that officer, and I gave up again. But, Sir, they said, ' Comrade, get up.' They lifted me up and said, ' Put your arms around our necks, and we'll lead you away from these bullets. And these were the 'damned Yankees!' I tell you, Sir, no man ever hugged his sweetheart harder or more friendly than I hugged those Yankees' necks." After a few more remarks the youth showed a determination to " talk politics," and asked Mr. Clayton, " What are you fighting us for?" Mr. Clayton calmly, and in good humor, gave him his ideas of the issue, and in ending asked him what they were fighting for. " To hold prop- erty, Sir," replied the youth, — " our slave property." "How many slaves did you have?" "None." "And you?" (to the next) . " None." He then went around to all the thirty-four rebels, and but one was found who had owned a slave. "Now," said Mr. Clayton, "where are the men who have these slaves which they are so afraid of losing?" Here a man named McLellan, who soon afterwards died, raised himself up on his cot, and stretching out his thin hand said, in a sepulchral voice, "They are at home enjoying themselves, and have sent us to die for them and theirs." And to this the echoes around the room were, "That's so!" "That's God's truth ! " Vice-President Hamlin a Private in Com- pany A. There was at Fort McClary, in Ports- mouth harbor, New Hampshire, during the dark days of the war, a soldier who performed all the duties of a private in the ranks and a guard, and was not even clothed with the power of a fourth cor- poral, — but who, in the event of the death of President Lincoln, would at once have become the commander-in-chief of the army and navy of the United States. And yet, with that necessary consciousness, he was willing to place himself in the posi- tion of a common soldier, share with them in their messes, bear about his own tin dipper, and reside in their barracks. This was the position of the Hon. Hannibal Hamlin, Vice-President of the United States (and formerly Governor of Maine and United States Senator), and private in Company A, of the State Guard of Bangor. Such may be said to be one of the beauties of republicanism; but it re- quires a sound-cored man thus to display the most beautiful features of the sim- plicity of our institutions. Col. Polk, and Sanders, the Refugee. Colonel William H. Polk, of Tennessee, the well known scholar, politician and wit, of Tennessee, had a plantation some forty miles from Nashville, lived comfortably, had a joke for every one. and Avas, withal, a resolute man in his opinions. A few days before the arrival of the U. S. army at Nashville, in 1862, and, indeed, before he heard of the fall of Fort Don- elson, in going down the road from his farm, he descried a fat, ragged, bushy-head- ed, tangled-mustached, dilapidated-looking creature, (something like an Italian organ- grinder in distress,) so disguised in mud as to be scarcely recognizable. What was his surprise, on a nearer approach, to see PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC 101 that it was the redoubtable George N. Sanders. George had met the enemy and he was theirs — not in person, but in feeling. His heart was lost, his breeches were ragged, and his boots showed a set of fat, gouty toes protruding from them. The better part of him was gone, and gone a good distance. " In the name of God, George, is that you ? " said the ex-Congressman. ''Me!" said the immortal George: "I wish it wasn't ; I wish I was anything but me. But what is the news here — is there any one running? They are all running back there," pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. "No," said Mr. Polk, "not that I know of. You needn't mind pulling up the seat of your pantaloons. I'm not noticing. What in are you doing here, look- ing like a muddy Lazarus in the painted cloth?" " Bill," said George to the Tennesseean, confidentially, and his tones would have moved a heart of stone, " Bill, you always was a friend of mine. I know'd you a long while ago, and honored you — cuss me if I didn't. I said you was a man bound to rise. I told Jimmy Polk so; me and Jimmy was familiar friends. I intended to have got up a biographical notice of you in the Democratic Review, but that Corby stopped it. I'm glad to see you; I'll swear I am." " Of coui'se, old fellow," said the chari- table Tennesseean, more in pity of his tones than even of the flattering eloquence ; "but what is the matter?" "Matter!" said George ; "the d d Lincolnites have seized Bowling Green, Fort Donelson, and have by this time ta- ken Nashville. Why," continued he, in a burst of confidence, "when I left, hacks was worth $100 an hour, and, Polk, (in a whisper,) I didn't have a cent." The touching pathos of this last remark was added to by the sincere vehemence with which it was uttered, and the mute eloquence with which he lifted up a ragged flap in the rear of his person that some envious rail or briar had torn from its position of covering a glorious retreat. "Not a d d cent," repeated he; "and, Polk, I walked that hard-hearted town up and down, all day, with bomb- shells dropping on the street at every lamp-post — I'll swear I did — trying to borrow some money; and, Polk, do you- thiidc, there wasn't a scoundrel there would lend anything, not even Harris, and he got the money out of the banks, too!" "No," interjected Polk, who dropped in a word occasionally, as a sort of encourager. "Bill," repeated Sanders, "Bill, I said I you was a friend of mine — and a talented ! one — always said so, Bill. I didn't have a red, and I've walked forty-five miles in the last day, by the mile-stones, and I ! havn't had anything to buy a bit to eat ; and," he added, with impassioned elo- quence," what is a cussed sight worse, not a single drop to drink." This is complete. It is unnecessary to tell how the gallant and clever Tennes- seean took the wayfarer home, gave him numerous, if not innumerable drinks, and filled him with fruits of the gardens and flesh of the flocks. Unfortunate Absence at the Siege of Fort Sumter. On the news of the fall of Sumter, the fires of patriotic enthusiasm were kindled throughout all the loyal States. In one of the small towns of Western Pennsylvania the excitement became intense — patriotic speeches were made, companies for the war speedily formed, etc., etc. It was at this time, when the public excitement was at its height, that there was a flag-raising at a school-house two miles from A , the orator of the occasion being a young col- legiate, fresh from his Alma Mater. After the speech had been made a sheet of fools- cap was produced, and twelve big, noble- looking fellows walked boldly up and en- rolled their names amons; the brave de- 102 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, fenders of their country. As each man put his name upon the paper he was greeted by three lusty cheers and the rolling of the drum. Finally, when the twelve recruits had taken their seats, and no one seemed to manifest any inclination of following their example of enlisting, a young man was called upon to speak. He was a strong, dashing, dark-eyed youth, and evidently much excited. He seemed determined, however, to acquit himself with applause, and he spread out accord- ingly. After stating numerous, and, as he ur- ged, strong reasons for not going to the war himself — that 'he couldn't leave his business' — 'would go if they couldn't get along without him' — 'if he found it to be his duty,' etc., he waxed warm. He glowed in his overflowing patriotism, and having depicted in flaming colors the out- rage practiced on our flag by the rebels, he closed his impressive speech with, in effect, the following: Edmund Ruffin. "Gentlemen! do you know what I'd have done had I been down there- when that glorious flag was torn by these trait- ors from its lofty height? I would have snatched it from their bloody hands — I would have mounted the flag-staff — and, regardless of the hail of bullets that might have stormed around me, I would have nailed it there — ay! with my own hands would I have nailed it there ! and have — have — gentlemen — desired it to remain!" The absence of this patriotic orator at the siege of Sumter must, of course, have been the cause of its unfortunate surren- der. Edmund Ruffin, the hoary traitor, who fired the first shot at Sumter, should have had a clinch at that tonguy and soft- pated orator. The odds would have been of little account, which of the two went down. Application of the Term "Contraband" by General Butler. The rebel Colonel Mallory had the mis- fortune to lose some of his ' servants,' who used their legs to convey themselves from the custody of their master. Though a traitor to his country, Col. M. had the audacity to go with a flag of truce to For- tress Monroe and demand of hid old polit- ical friend, Butler, the delivering up of said escaped servants, under the Fugitive Slave Law. "You hold, Colonel Mallory, do you not," said General Butler, "that negro slaves are property ; and that Virginia is no longer a part of the United States." "I do, Sir." " You are a lawyer, Sir," Gen. Butler replied, " and I ask you, if you claim that the Fugitive Slave Act of the United States is binding in a foreign nation? And if a foreign nation uses this kind of property to destroy the lives and property of citizens of the United States, if that species of property ought not to be re- garded as contraband?" Such was the origin of the term con- traband, as applied to fugitive slaves, and its acceptance became at once universal. "Newport News." The operations of the two great armies, from time to time, at "Newport News Point," have given that place quite a celebrity in military annals, and its pecu- liar name has given rise to much curiosity as to how it could have originated. In reference to this, it appears that the early colony on James river was at one time PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 103 reduced to a straightened condition, and some or its members started down the James river, with the intention of pro- ceeding to England. They reached the bend in the river which has since become an object of so much interest, and paused for some days. When they were about to set sail, they saw a ship coming up the roads, bearing the British ensign. They delayed till it should arrive. It proved to be Lord Newport's ship, with his lord- ship on board, who brought the intelli- gence that the ship which the colony had long before dispatched to England for sup- plies, and which was many months over- due, was near at hand, bringing much needed relief. Meantime, his lordship distributed provisions among the colonists, who, from these circumstances, named the place " Newport News," on account of the good tidings which his lordship brought to them. the press., he gave expression to as fol- lows : "All people zall speak vat dey tink — I write vat dey pleaze, and be free to do . anytink dey pleazhe — only dey zall speak and write no treason/" Tigers and Treason. Colonel Boernstein, a German com- mander at the West, became somewhat noted for his logical method of dealing with traitors. While holding possession of Jefferson City, Missouri, his patriotic and magisterial traits were made conspic- uous by not a few well-remembered cases of summary discipline. One day he heard of a desperado being in town, from Clark township, who had led a company of dis- unionists known and dreaded as the "Ti- gers." "If anybodies vill make ze affidavit," said Colonel B., "I vill arrest him if he izh a tiger. I don't believe in tigers ; zey d d humbugs!" Some one inquired of the Colonel how long he should remain in that place. With a French shrug of the shoulder, he replied : " I don't know — perhaps a year ; so long as the Governor chooses to stay away; I am Governor now, you see, 'till he come back." His notions of freedom of speech and 7 G-ould, the Hero of Corinth. In the heat of the conflict, the Ninth Texas regiment bore down upon the left centre of the Twenty-Seventh Ohio reg- iment, with their battle flag at the head of the column, when Orrin B. Gould, a private of Company G. shot down the color-bearer and rushed forward for the rebel flag. A rebel officer shouted to his men to "save the colors!'''' and, at the same moment, put a bullet into the breast of Gould. But the young hero was not to be intimidated. With his flag-staff in his hand, and the bullet in his breast, he re- turned to his regiment, waving the former defiantly in the faces of the enemy. After the battle, on visiting the hospitals, Col- onel Fuller of the Twenty-Seventh Ohio, (commanding first brigade, second divis- ion) found young Gould stretched upon a cot, apparently in great pain. Upon see- ing him, his face became radiant, and, pointing to his wound, he said, " Colonel, I don't care for this, since I got their flair!" John Bell's Tennessee Iron Works. On the evening of Feb. 16th, 1862, Commodore Foote sent the gun-boat St. Louis on a reconnoitreing expedition to- wards Clarksville, Tenn. Six miles above Dover, they came in sight of the Tennes- see Iron Works, an extensive establish- ment owned by Hon. John Bell, Mr. Lewis, and others. Not a person was in sight, and to ascertain if anybody was at home, a shell was thrown at a high eleva- tion, and burst directly over the establish- ment, too high to do any damage. It had the desired effect — the workmen streamed out of their hive like a swarm of bees. It having been reported that the mill 104 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, had been engaged extensively in the man- ufacture of iron plates for rebel gunboats, officer Johnson, of the St. Louis, was sent ashore to find the proprietors and inquire .about it. He found Mr. Lewis, who at once presented himself as the proprietor, and in response to the officer's inquiries, stated that the mill had been occupied lately in the manufacture of a good deal of iron of various patterns ; but it had been done for contractors and other indi- viduals, and not directly for the rebel 4 Government.' Mr. Lewis was asked if he did not know from the pattern of the iron that it was for war purposes. He said that a good deal of it had been square iron, which he supposed was for wagon axles, and a considerable part had been heavy plates which might be for gunboats. He stated that he had been a strong and de- cided Union man as long as he could be with safety from mobs, which threatened his person and property, and likewise ap- plied the rather doubtful assertion to Mr. Bell. He was asked why he did not de- cline orders for making war materials, as Mr. Hinman — proprietor of the Cumber- land Iron Works, lower down the river — had done; to which his reply was, that Mr. Hinman was in Kentucky, which did not secede, while he was in Tennessee, and above the fortification of Donelson, which was erected in May, thus shutting up the Cumberland river at the Tennessee line. Li view of the inevitable fact that the works had been engaged in making and furnishing materials of war to the rebels, Commodore Foote considered it his duty to disable them, not knowing then that the Union lines would soon embrace them, and the river beyond, to Clarksville. He in- formed Mr. Lewis that this would be ne- cessary and also that he must require him to go on board as a prisoner. An attempt was first made to disable the machinery of the establishment, the desire being not to utterly destroy the property if it could be avoided. But the machinery was so heavy that no means could be found of confining powder sufficient to blow it up. It was, therefore, set on fire and consumed. When Mr. Lewis beheld his property in flames, he said — " I hope that my private residence will be spared." "Sir," said the noble Commodore, "we came not to destroy any particle of your property which has not been used in the carrying on of this most uimatural war against the Government." Other Side of the Case. A New York journal in one of its is- sues published the opinions of respectable colored people, favoring the President's Emancipation Proclamation. In the af- ternoon the reporter met a well-known colored man, named Cooley, who white- washes for a living, and is generally found about Ann street. The reporter said: "Well, Cooley, what do you think of the Proclamation?" Cooley — "The worse thing for the black man that ever was done." Reporter— "Why?" Cooley — (coming close up, and in a mysterious whisper,) — "There's too many niggers starving here now. By'-n-bye these fellows will come down on us from the South, and drive us out, for then I tell you, then there would not be a place where a decent colored man can put down his foot ! Mark my words ! " ♦ Another of the Uncle Toms. During the secession conflict in Ken- tucky, a Union gentleman on the other side of Green River had his attention at- tracted, one morning, to a little group com- ing up the hill. First were two intelligent looking contrabands, next, a little 'go-cart,' drawn by a mule, in which was a female slave and about a dozen little negroes, carefully wrapped in sundry and divers coats. An Uncle Tom sort of a chap, PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 105 with a Miss Dinah, brought up the rear. "As they came by," says the gentleman, "I addressed Tom.' "Well, Uncle, where did your party come from?" '• We's from de town, dar, sah." "And where are you going?" "Gwine home, sah." "Then you do not live in the village?" "No; we lib right ober yonder, 'bout a mile : de secesh draw us from home." " Ah ! well now stop a minute, and tell me all about it." "Dat I do, sure, massa. Jim (to the other leader of the mule-cart,) you go on wid the wagon, an I kotch you fore you gits home. Now, I tells you, massa, all 'bout ura. My massa am Union, an' so is all de niggers. Yesterday, massa war away in de town, an de first ting we know, 'long come two or free hundred ob dem seceshers, on bosses, an' lookin' like cut- froats. Golly, but de gals wor scared. Jus' back ob us war de Union sogers — God bress (reverentially,) for dey keep de secesh from killin' nigger. De gals know dat. an' when dey see de secesh comin' dey pitch de little nigger in de go-cart, an' den we all broke for de Union sogers." '•So you are not afraid of the Union soldiers ? " " God bress you. massa, nebber. Nig- ger gits ahind dem Union sojers, secesh nebber gits urn. Secesh steal nigger — Union man nebber steal urn, Dat's a fac, massa." And with a chuckling smile on his face, the clever old darkey bade good morning, and trotted on after the go-cart- Mr. Vallandigham himself had just fallen into a doze, when Colonel McKibben waked him, informing him that it was daylight, and time to move. Some poet- ical • remark had been made about the morning. Mr. Vallandigham hereupon raised himself upon his elbow, and said, dramatically, ' Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day- Stands tip-toe on the mountain tops.' He had evidently forgotten the remain- ing line of the quotation; but it seemed so applicable to his own case, in view of the wrathful feeling of the soldiers to- ward him, that some one near by could not forbear adding aloud, ' I must be gone and live, or stay and die.' The extreme appositeness of this quo- tation startled every one who heard it, including Mr. Vallandigham himself. On the Road to Dixie. When Mr. Vallandigham was being con- ducted to his Southern friends, by order of the United States government, because of his treasonable utterances, a halt was made by the escort, on nearing the out posts, for rest and refreshment. After an hour passed in conversation there was an effort made to obtain a little sleep, and Good Charlie, the Union Guide. A Union man named Smith had resided about six miles from Fayetteville, Arkan- sas, the owner of a tract of six hundred acres of land, with comfortable dwelling, stock, etc. Obnoxious to the secessionists, his property was plundered by their for- aging and other parties during the winter, his place being only about a mile from McCulloch's head-quarters. The family consisted of Mr. Smith, his wife and child, his mother-in-law, and also his brother-in- law, James Watkins and wife, married only about a year previously. Besides these, Charlie, the slave of Mr. Smith. Upon news of the approach of Curtis's forces to Springfield, the secessionists be- gan pursuing all the Union men to hang them, and Smith and Watkins fled, hoping to make their way to some of the Union camps. The women thus left behind, be- ing in fear of outrage and torture on their husbands' account — if not death — departed from their home on the night of Feb. 8th, with Charlie as their guide and protector, leaving the aged mother and child, who were unable to move. On foot they wend- ed their way, sleeping what they did sleep 106 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. in the open air, upon such straw or litter as Charlie could gather for them, and cov- ered by the single blanket which he car- ried, — subsisting on the food which he had stowed in a pair of saddle-bags. He would have been seized as marketable property belonging to a Union man, and the women regarded their own jeopardy as something more than that of their lives, if met or caught by the secessionists. They traveled about eight miles the first day — the women being feeble, and one of them in a delicate situation, — fording creeks, and avoiding the traveled roads. On one occasion, crossing a creek upon a log, one of the ladies fell in, and was witli difficulty extricated by Charlie, who, as he said, " cooned it on de log," so that his mistress got hold of him, and when she reached the bank he pulled her out. Thus for nearly a week, foot-sore and with short and painful journeys, having no shelter, and not seeing a fire, subsisting on the scant provision which Charlie carried, they slowly made their way until they first met the advance guard of the Union forces at Mudtown. Here the ladies were at once cared for by the Colonel, while Char- lie was taken some miles on horseback to " Mister Sigel," who examined him at great length, as a General knows how, comparing his stories with his own maps of the country. He was satisfied of Char- lie's truthfulness, and gave him a pass for himself and the two ladies. He was right- ly termed " good Charlie." Refusing- to Volunteer in the Rebel Army. In the same prison with Parson Brown- low and other Unionists in Tennessee, was a venerable clergyman named Cate, and his three sons. One of them, James Mad- ison Cate, a most exemplary and worthy member of the Baptist church, was there for having committed no other crime than that of refusing to volunteer in the rebel army. He lay stretched at full length upon the floor, with one thickness of a piece of carpet under him, and an old overcoat doubled up for a pillow, — and he in the agonies of death. His wife came to visit him, bringing her youngest child, which was but a babe. They were re- fused admittance. Parson Brownlow here put his head out of the jail window, and entreated them, for God's sake, to let the poor woman come in, as her husband was dying. The jailer at last consented that she might see him for the limited time of fifteen minutes. As she came in, and Refusing to Volunteer looked upon her husband's wan and ema- ciated face, and saw how rapidly he was sinking, she gave evident signs of fainting, and would have fallen to the floor with the babe in her arms, had not Parson B. rushed up to her and seized the babe. Then she sank down upon the breast of her dying husband, unable to speak. When the fifteen minutes had expired, the officer came in, and in an insulting and peremptory manner, notified her that the interview was to close. Entombment of a "Virginia Loyalist. Mr. John A. Ford, a respectable mer- chant of Petersburg, Va., having expressed a wish that the Boston troops had killed " fourteen or fifteen hundred "' of the mob PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 107 m Baltimore, instead of " fourteen or fif- teen," was soon after waited on by an ex- cited crowd of people, who demanded to know if he had used this language. He replied in the affirmative, whereupon a cry was raised of " shoot him ! hang him ! kill him ! " and demonstrations were made to carry out the demand of the excited mob. Meantime, however, it had become quite dark, of which some friends of Mr. Ford, fellow members of a Masonic Lodge, took advantage, in dragging Mr. Ford out into an open store, through which he was urged into an alley-way in the rear, while the crowd in the street who had lost sight of him, were clamorously in search. A friend and Masonic brother accompanied him rapidly through the alley, and con- ducted him to the only place of safety which probably could have concealed him — a tomb in his family burial ground ! Taking the key from the vault hastily from his pocket he opened it, urged Mr. Ford in among the coffins, locked the door upon him, and quickly disappeared. That night and the following day every place and by-place in the town was ransacked in the eager search of the mob for the victim who had so terribly and so narrow- ly escaped their clutches. They finally concluded that he had been spirited away, and relaxed their vigilance. Meantime Mr. Ford remained undisturbed, with darkness and the dead. There were sev- eral bodies deposited there — far less feared, however, by him than the living. At three o'clock the following Monday morning, the train was to leave for Rich- mond. At an earlier hour, Mr. Ford's protector and friend came to deliver his friend from the charnel house, where, for two nights and a day, he had fasted with the dead. He was faint and weak from exhaustion, but the emergency lent him strength. While his friend went for his daughter, a litle girl seven yeirs of age, Mr. Ford wended his way cautiously and alone to the depot. Here they met again, and when the train rolled out of the sta- tion on its way north, Mr. Ford sat on one of the car seats, with his child wrapped closely in his arms. Arriving at Richmond, he attempted to procure a ticket, but was told that no passenger could leave for the North, unless exhibit- ing a pass from Governor Letcher. With many misgivings, Mr. Ford (it was still early in the morning,) wended his way to the executive mansion. He represented to the Governor that his business called him out of the State, and desired creden- tials which would enable him to continue the journey. Mr. Letcher asked no ques- tions, but promptly made out the papers and handed them to him, by the aid of which he in due time arrived in Wash- in gton. Unwilling' to Forfeit his Eight to Escape. One of the prisoners at Fort AVarren, Boston, managed to escape about the time he was sent there from Fort Lafayette. He then enlisted in the navy under an assumed name, in the hopes of being placed upon a vessel from Avhich he coidd escape, and join his friends at the South. Finding that his chances of success in this project were small, and not wishing to serve against the Confederate States, he revealed his true name, and the fact that he had escaped from custody, whereupon he was sent to Fort Warren. Col. Dim- mick, of that institution, had an intervieAv with him, and told him that he might have the same privileges as the other prisoners, if he would give his parole of honor not to attempt to escape again. The man hesitated a moment, and then frankly re- plied : " No, Colonel, I cannot do it ; if I make the promise I shall feel bound by it ; but really, I cannot consent to give up the right to escape if an opportunity occurs." The Colonel told the man that if he did not give his parole, he should put him where escape would be impossible, but he remained spunky, and was placed m close confinement. 108 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE EEBELLION. Left to Dine Alone. A person from Baltimore, temporarily a resident in the city of Boston, invited five of his friends to dine at the house of a female relation, — which invitation was duly accepted. On going to the dinner table, the party found the rebel flag topping a piece of ornamental pastry, in the centre of the festive board. The insult was at once no- ticed by the guests, before they were seated, and, as it appeared, by all of them nearly at the same moment. Not a word was spoken, but every man left as by a mutual impulse, and the Baltimore seces- sionist had to dine alone. Next morning he was waited upon for an explanation of his misconduct, but his discretion had prompted him to take the first westward train for home. Circumstances alter Principles. An anecdote is told of a Union officer, by Prentice, which is somewhat illustra- tive of the fact that circumstances not only alter cases but principles also. The gentleman in question was a violent Re- publican, and both before and after going into the army opposed, with all the zeal and ability of which he was capable, the Crittenden Compromise. At the battle of Chickamauga, when our routed Aving was falling back in great disorder, and the mass of the enemy pushing forward with a shower of shell, grape, canister and musketry, this officer, who was in the midst of the deadly torrent, and who stut- tered somewhat in his speech, turned to a fellow-soldier and said : " G-g-g-george, if G-g-g-govemor Crit- tenden were to r-r-r-rise up now f-f-f-from his g-g-g-rave, and offer me the C-c-c-crit- tenden com-com-compromise, by I would take it ! " Old Cotton Beard and his Girls. Among those who took the oath of al- legiance to the United States Government, may be named Mr. V. B. Marmillon, one of the richest and most extensive sugar planters in the whole valley of the Mis- sissippi. He refused, however, to work his plantation, unless he could have his own negroes returned to him. He had about fifteen hundred acres of cane under cultivation, but his whole family of plan- tation hands left him and went to New Orleans, reporting themselves to the Union officer. Among them could be found every species of mechanic and artisan. They were called up and informed that the Government had taken possession of their old master's crop, and that they were needed to take it off, and would be paid for their labor. All consented to return ; but next morning, when the time came for their departure, not one of them would go. One of them said : " I will go any- where else to work, but you may shoot me before I will return to the old planta- tion." It was afterwards ascertained that Marmillon, whom they called " Old Cotton Beard," had boasted in the presence of two colored girls, house servants, how he would serve the hands when he once more had them in his power. These girls •had walked more than thirty miles in the night, with all the risks of personal safety staring them in the face, to bring the in- formation to their friends. The hands were set to work elsewhere. Conciliatory Mesmerism. General Garfield aptly illustrated, by the following quotation from an old Eng- lish nursery rhyme, the policy of those extra-bleached and super-superior patriots who sought to put down the rebellion with conciliatory mesmerism : " There was an old man who said, how Shall I flee from this horrible cow ? I will sit on the stile And continue to smile, Which may soften the heart of this cow. 7 ' PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 109 Circulation of Union Proclamations in South Carolina. Lieutenant Magner, of General Sher- man's staff j accompanied by Dr. Bacon, of the Seventh Connecticut, was detailed by General Sherman to perform the rather delicate duty of conveying to the rebels, under a flag of truce, his proclamation, which was addressed to the loyal citizens of South Carolina, inviting them to return to their homes and promising them protec- tion. The bearers were placed ashore in the cutter, under a flag of truce, accompa- nied by a negro, who was picked up while as- cending the river, and who, being acquaint- ed with the country, was to act as guide. Mules were found, and, led by the negro, they proceeded into the country, and after penetrating about ten miles they were met by a Rev. Mr. Walker, a Baptist clergy- man, formerly of Beaufort. To their in- quiries, whether there were any rebel camps in the vicinity, he informed them that the camps they were looking after were a number of miles on, and advised them not to proceed further, as he did not deem it prudent or safe. They were not quite satisfied, however, Avith the information he gave, as his conduct was somewhat suspi- cious, and they inquired of the negro guide as to the distance. He informed them that it was about half a mile further on They concluded to proceed. They had continued about half a mile further on, when they were met by two rebel offi- cers, one of whom bore a white handker- chief on an oar, which he had brought from a small boat in a creek near by, in which they had evidently come. They proved to be a First Lieutenant and a Second Lieutenant from a Charleston company. The object of the mission was explained by the bearers of the flag, and they were politely informed that there were no " loyal citizens" in South Carolina, and that their mission was fruitless. The business being completed, a luncheon was partaken of, which was furnished by the bearer of the flag ; the mules were fed by order of the rebel officers. During the lunch, Lieuten- ant Barnwell, one of the scions of thts aristocratic stock of South Carolina, made his appearance and joined the company. He was excessively haughty and distant in his demeanor, and appeared to regard himself as one of the most important per- sonages the world had yet produced. During the conversation he haughtily and impertinently inquired : " Have you permission, sirs, to return ? " Naturally enough the question was re- garded as insulting, and Dr. Bacon quietly replied : " I have already communicated with your superior officer." This sarcastically worded reply effectu- ally squelched the upstart, and he sub- sided immediately thereafter. Letting them Judg-e by the Tunes. A good story is told of an old patriot who was employed at the Kentucky Mili- tary Institute as a fifer. The old fellow had served in the Northwest, in the sec- ond war with Great Britain, taking a part in the battle of the Thames and other fights. During the secession tornado which at first swept over Kentucky, the cadets at the Institute, becoming affected with the fever, talked pretty severely against those devoted to the stars and stripes. Our old veteran listened, but said nothing. One evening he went into a room, and was observed to be in something of a passion. He paced backward and forward, saying nothing, and refusing to answer all ques- tions- At last he pulled out his fife, and, sitting down, sent forth Yankee Doodle with its shrillest strains. Then he played Hail Columbia, and then The Star Span- gled Banner, until the whole premises were made alive to the jubilant sounds, — the tears meanwhile rolling down his aged and weather-beaten cheeks. Concluding the last named exhilarating melody he jumped to his feet, and exclaimed : " Now, 110 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, It 'em, I guess they know which side Old Hickory's Three Swords and Three Injunctions. Among the multiplied testimonials that honored the glorious career, civil and mili- tary, of Andrew Jackson, were the three magnificent swords presented to him — one by the State of Tennessee, another by the citizens of Philadelphia, and a third by the riflemen of New Orleans. By his Avill the General bequeathed the first of these swords to his nephew and adopted son, Andrew Jackson Donelson ; the sec- Pv M ond to his grandson, Andrew Jackson ; mid the third to his grand-nephew, Andrew Jackson Coffee. The clause relative to the first runs thus : — "Seventh — I bequeath to my well-be- loved nephew, Andrew J. Donelson, son of Samuel Donelson, deceased, the elegant sword presented to me by the State of Tennessee, with this injunction, that he fail not to use it, when necessary, in sup- port and protection of our glorious Union, and for the protection of the constitutional rights of our beloved country, should they be assailed by foreign enemies or domestic traitors" That same Andrew J. Donelson did fail thus to use the sword thus received from his great kinsman, and even ranged him- self at the side of those very " traitors " who fought to destroy both the glorious Union and the Constitution itself. Again : *• I bequeath to my beloved grandson, Andrew Jackson, son of Andrew Jackson, Jr., and Sarah, his wife, the sword pre- sented to me by the citizens of Philadel- phia, with this injunction, that he will always use it in defence of the Constitu- tion and our glorious Union, and the per- petuation of our Republican system.'* This same Andrew Jackson, thus hon- ored by his patriotic grandfather, put him- self in the ranks of the traitors, aiding by his influence and his money the conspirators who sought the overthrow of that same " Republican system." And again : " To my grand-nephew, Andrew Jack- son Coffee, I bequeath the elegant sword presented to me by the Rifle Company of New Orleans, commanded by Captain Beal, as a memento of my regard, and to brinsr to his recollection the gallant ser- es o vices of his deceased father, Gen. John Coffee, in the late Indian and British wars, under my command, and his gallant con- duct in defence of New Orleans in 1814 '15, with this injunction, that he ivield it in protection of the rights secured to the American citizen tinder our glorious Con- stitution, against all invaders, whether for- eign foes or intestine traitors." Where, then, was Andrew Jackson Cof- fee, when the Union was in its life and death struggle ? He, too, was among the traitors, and the sword placed in his hands for the "protection of the rights secured to American citizens under our glorious Constitution," was pointed at the hearts of loyal men ! Broadbrim's Method with Secessionists. A secession minister comes into the store kept by a Quaker, and talks loudly against the country, until Broadbrim tells him he must stop or leave the store. The clerical brawler keeps on, till the Quaker tells him he will put him out of the store if he does not go out. " What," exclaimed the minister, •' I thought you Quakers dit" PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 111 not fight." " The sanctified do not fight, but I have not been sanctified yet; and I will put thee out of the store in a minute ! " The minister fled from the wicked Quaker. Badge of Treason in a New York Ball Boom. Quite a flutter in the political world was occasioned by a little act which trans- pired at a convivial gathering in New York, one winter's evening in 1863. The Marquis of Hartington, a young gentle- man from England, had been traveling for some months in this country, and had run the lines to Richmond. In returning, his companion, or one of them, was taken, and imprisoned. The Marquis was more for- tunate, and escaped. Before sailing for England from New York a masquerade was given by a gen- tleman of the city, to which the young man was invited. While chatting with a ' domino ' (one of the characters assumed by a lady in the masquerade,) the wearer insisted that he, the Marquis, should wear a rebel badge upon his coat. He refused, good humoredly. She pressed. He de- clined. At last die said, " Well, then, at least , while you are talking with me." It was the old story : " The woman tempted me, and I did yield." She paraded her triumph through the rooms until meeting suddenly his guide, philosopher, and friend, that gentleman said abruptly to the Mar- quis, as his eye fell upon the badge, " Good God! my good fellow — you must'nt do that ; " and exhorted him in the -most strin- gent Avay to remove the badge. The young man obeyed ; but not of course until it was known throughout the rooms that he had plainly displayed a badge which was inexpressibly offensive to the feelings of every loyal heart in the house. There were several officers of various grades present. General McClellan was one of the guests. It was therefore not surprising that a little later a young officer, whose only knowledge of that badge was that it was the symbol of the murder of his friends and the attempted ruin of his country, brushed violently against the Marquis. That gentleman, thinking prob- ably that it was an inadvertence, took no notice of the collision. But upon its repe- tition, when the intention was palpable, he turned, and said, " Well, sir, what am I to understand by that?" " You know very well what it means," was the prompt and crisp reply. At the same instant friends interfered, and begged that if any difficulty were pend- ing, its consideration should be deferred un- til the morning. The gentlemen assented. Before the morning full explanations were made, and when the two gentlemen met at the club-house an understanding satisfac- tory to both sides concluded the affair. A few days afterwards the Marquis sailed for England. It was a proceeding which grossly in- sulted every loyal American in the rooms ; and it is not to be doubted that the host — a conspicuous member of the gayer circles of the city — took occasion to inform the light-headed youth of the great abuse of courtesy and hospitality of which he had been guilty. If the host himself had been dining a few years since at the house of the Marquis of Hartington's father — an English duke — and had said or implied (as he certainly never would have done), intentionally or unintentionally, that he hoped Great Britain, which was then con- tending for India in the persons of the children and brothers and friends of the company at table, would not succeed ; or if he had worn at table the colors, had there been any, of Nena Sahib — if there had been a single gentleman present Avhose son had been massacred in that war, it is not rash to presume, despite British phlegm, that the offender would have left the dining-room more rapidly than he entered. Senator Lane and the Stage Driver. A story is told of Senator Joseph Lane, of Oregon, which will bear repetition 112 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. Accounts of the Senator's pro-southern sentiments and movements preceded his return from the Congressional session of 1861, and, it is said, rendered him very unpopular; particularly after the attack on Fort Sumter. When he reached the shores of the Pacific, he began to feel his unpopularity in various ways ; but no re- mark that was made to him and m his hearing was more cutting than that of a stage driver with whom he had entered into conversation without disclosing his name. In the course of his talk the Sen- ator took occasion to remark that he con- sidered himself the worst-abused man in the State. " Well, I don't know about that," replied the driver ; " but if you are any worse than that rascal, Jo. Lane, God help you." Loyal Breeze from Port Hudson. In order to enjoy a sight of the fleet of busy steamers at Port Hudson, soon after the capture of Vicksburg, a Union gentleman took a station on a cliff, com- manding a fine view of the newly-con- quered territory and of the Union flags, as their graceful forms waved sharp and clear against the blue sky. While thus sta- tioned, a rebel Captain gaily dressed, came up to the gentleman and said, thoughtful- ly- "It is a long time, Sir, since we have seen so many vessels lying there." "Yes, Sir, and I am glad of it, for your sake as well as ours." " How so ? " asked the Captain, in a somewhat surprised tone. " Because it looks to me very much like the beghming of the end ; and that is what we all wish to see." "The end is very far off yet," he con- tinued, in a proud manner; "In the first place I do not believe, even now, that Vicksburg is lost to us ; and you never yet knew a rebellion of such magnitude to fail in achieving its object." " Nor did you ever know a rebellion so causeless and unnatural to succeed. If you were like the Poles or Circassians, and we Russians, trying to crush out your existing nationality — if this were a Avar of religion or races, 1 could imagine it lasting through many, many years. But it is not so. In- stead of trying to crush out your national- ity, we are merely fighting to prevent you from crushing out our mutual one ; and every acre, every liberty we save from destruction, is as much yours as ours. War for such a cause was never waged before, and therefore cannot last. When a few more decisive successes like the present shall have proved beyond all doubt to the Southern people that the cause of separa- tion is utterly hopeless, I think we shall all be glad to meet again as citizens of a common country, greater for the very ordeal through which it has passed. The only difference will be that Slavery — the cause of all this trouble — will have died during the progress of- the war." '• We shall see," said the Captain, either unwilling or unable to maintain his posi- tion further ; " I suppose you will allow we defended our position here well?" " Too well,' was the answer ; '■ I think a great many good lives, on both sides, might have been saved by sooner surren- dering a place which, it must have been evident, you could not possibly retain." " We should have done so," he candidly avowed, " only we were all the while hoping for reinforcements." Familiar Chat about Generals. President Lincoln expressed his troubles to a gentleman who was visiting him on a certain occasion, in the following lan- guage : " The military men, it seems to me, will keep me in trouble all the time on their account. One day Senator Lane, of In- diana, calls on me and asks me why I don't give Lew. Wallace a command. I tell him that Halleek says Wallace is of no ac- count, and ought not to have a command. He goes at me then, and says Halleek isn't worth a cent, and oughtn't to have a com- PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, ClVlL, JUDICIAL, ETC 113 mand. Halleck wants to kick Wallace out, and Lane wants me to kick Halleck out." " Well," said the visitor, u I'll tell you how to fix it to the satisfaction of both parties." " How is that ? " inquired the President. " Why. kick 'em both out," was the re- " No," said Mr. Lincoln, " that won't do. I think Halleck is a good man. He may not be — of course ; I don't know much about such things. I may be a judge of good iawyers, but I don't know much about Generals. Those who ought to know, say he is good." "Well," said the visitor, "if you don't know, you ought to know ; and if the peo- ple don't know that Halleck is a fool, they think they do, and it's all the same." Pen with which the Emancipation Proclama- tion was Signed.. The identity of the pen with which the Emancipation Proclamation was signed by President Lincoln cannot be made good. This appears from the statement of a gen- tleman who happened to be in Washington a few days after the signing of that paper, and who, by appointment, had an interview with President Lincoln, on matters of offi- cial business. Just after he had entered the room and taken a seat, Mr. Lincoln opened and read aloud a letter from a Boston gentleman applying to him for the pen with which he signed the proclama- tion, and stating, in glowing words, what great value he should place upon it, could he obtain the prize. The President remarked, after he had read the letter, that he did not think he could comply with the request of the writer, as he was not sure which of his pens was the right one. He knew it was one of a lot (this was the word) of a dozen or so, and he would do the best he could. To finish up the matter, Mr. Lincoln — ac- cording to custom — told a story. He asked the gentleman at his side if he had ever read or seen a book or story called Squi- bob, and went on to give some account of it. But the point of the story was that Squibob was asked by some one for his autograph, which was sent with the re- mark that " it must be genuine, for it was written by his brother-in-law." When will the War End ? This question was answered by a little miss at one of the school examinations in Troy, in a manner that did credit to her intelligence and loyalty — her head and heart. After the exercises of the after- noon had concluded, the Principal stated that he should be pleased if the committee would examine the class in reference to matters of recent history, such as the events of the present war, — to show that they kept their eyes and ears open, and were posted in matters transpiring around them. One of the Committee said to the President of the Board of Education, who was conducting the exercises, "Ask 'em when the war will end. Guess that will puzzle 'em." Mr Kemp, in his blandest tones, said to the class — " It is asked, by a visitor, ' when this war will end.' Can any of you answer the question?" Up went a show of hands, as at least fifteen boys and girls manifested a willing- ness to solve the problem that statesmen, financiers and politicians were supposed to have puzzled over in vain. '* You may answer," said President Kemp to a bright-eyed little girl near him : '• When will the war end?" Rising from her seat, the little patriot, in a clear unfaltering voice, with enthusi- asm flashing from her eye, answered : " When the rebels lay doivn their arms and sue for peace ! " The gentleman who had suggested the inquiry said : " I guess we won't have any more questions." '-We are all loyal in this school,' was the comment of the Prin- cipal, echoed by the large audience pres- ent. 114 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, Swear him in, and let him go! A characteristic story is said to have been told by General Butler, one day, in Wash- ington. The General, speaking of the farce of administering the oath to cap- tured rebels, and then turning them loose, related an incident that occurred at For- swear him, &c tress Monroe. A scouting party having captured and brought in a live rattlesnake, a question arose as to the disposal to be made of the dangerous customer, when a partially intoxicated soldier hiccoughed, " — him ! swear him in, and let him go!" t "Mudsills" on the Sacred Soil. Mr. Orpheus Kerr, of the " Mackerel- ville Brigade," relates his experience with the soldiers of the Potomac army as fol- lows : I never really knew what the term "mudsill" meant, my boy, until I saw Capt. Bob Shorty on Tuesday. I was out in a field, just this side of Fort Corcoram trimming down the ears of my gothic steed Pegasus, that he might look less like a Titanic rabbit, when I saw approaching me an object resembling a brown stone monument. As it came nearer, I discov- ered an eruption of brass buttons at inter- vals in front, and presently I observed the lineaments of a Federal face. " Strange being ! " says I, taking down a pistol from the natural rack on the side of my steed, and at the same time motion- ing towards my sword, which I had hung on one of his hip-bones, "Art thou the shade of Metamora, or the disembodied spirit of a sandbank?" "My ducky darling," responded the eolian voice of Capt. Bob Shorty, "you behold a mudsill, just emerged from a liqui- fied portion of the sacred soil. The mud at present inclosing the Mackerel Brigade is unpleasant to the personal feelings of the corps, but the effect at a distance is unique. As you survey that expanse of mud from Arlington Heights," continued Bob Shorty, " with the veterans of the Mackerel Brig- ade wading about in it up to their chins, you are forcibly reminded of a limitless plum-pudding, well stocked with animated raisins." " My friend," says I, " the comparison is apt, and reminds me of Shakespeare's happier efforts. But tell me, my Pylades, has the dredging for those missing regi- ments near Alexandria proved success- ful?" Capt. Bob Shorty took the mire from his ears, and then, says he : " Two brigades were excavated this morning, and are at present building rafts to go down to Washington to get some soap. Let us not utter complaints against the mud," continued Capt. Bob Shorty, reflec- tively, " for it has served to develope the genius of New England. We dug out a Yankee regiment from Boston first, and the moment these wooden-nutmeg chaps got their breath, they went to work at the mud that had almost suffocated them, mixed up some spoiled flour with it, and are now making their eternal fortunes by peddling it out for patent cement ! " Davis's Chairs in Beadiness for Ulysses. During the siege of Vieksburg, some of the Sixth Missouri Cavalry visited the former residence of "President" Davis, and found the blacks all very much alarmed PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 115 at the near approach of General Grant, who they believed would immediately devour them. The frightened creatures asked numberless questions of the boys, as to what they should do to appease him if he should visit them. The boys told them the General was not very frightful, and if they would assemble in the yard and give him three cheers, when he made his appearance, they would be safe. They were very much amused on returning, to find that the darkeys had nicely swept a place under the tree in the yard, and had set there three of the best chairs the man- sion afforded — presuming that " cheers " meant chairs, — in readiness for the great Ulysses. The best part of this joke is not given, viz., the reply which Grant made when the joke-loving General was informed of said preparations to receive him. John Wells's "Idee" as to Splitting: the Union. At one of the stations on the Georgia Central Railroad, Sherman's men came across an old man named Wells — a very original character, — who was formerly a depot-master on that line. He was a shrewd old man, and seemed to understand the merits of the war question perfectly. They say, (remarked the old man,) that you are retreating, but it is the strangest sort of retreat I ever saAV. Why, dog bite 'em, the newspapers have been lying in this way all along. They allers are whipping the Federal armies, and they allers fall back after the battle is over. It was that ar' idee that first opened my eyes. Our army was allers whipping the Feds, and Ave allers fell back. I allers told 'em it was a — humbug, and now by — , I know it, for here you are right on old John Wells's place : hogs, potatoes, corn and fences all gone. I don't find any fault. I expected it all. Jeff. Davis and the rest (he continued) talk about splitting the Union. Why, if South Carolina had gone out by herself, she Avould have been split in four pieces by this time. Splitting the Union ! Why, — it, the State of Georgia is being split right through, from end to end. It is these rich felloAVS Avho are making this war, and keeping their precious bodies out of harm's Avay. There's John Franklin, went through here the other day, running aAvay from your army. I could have played dominoes on his coat tails. There's my poor brother, sick with small-pox at Macon, working for eleA r en dollars a month, and has'nt got a cent of the — stuff for a year. 'Leven dollars a month and eleA-en thousand bullets a minute. I don't believe in it, Sir. My Avife (added the old Georgian) came from Canada, and I kind o'thought I Avould some time go there to live, but Avas allers afraid of the ice and cold ; but I can tell you this country is getting too cussed hot, for me. Look at my fence rails a-burning there. I think I can stand the cold better. I heard as Iioav they cut down the trees across your road up country and burn the bridges ; why, dog bite their hides, one of you Yankees can take up a tree and carry it off, tops and all ; and there's that bridge you put across the river in less than two hours — they might as Avell try to stop the Ogeechee, as you Yankees. The blasted rascals Avho burnt this yere bridge thought they did a big thing ; a natural born fool cut in tAvo had more sense in either end than any of them. To bring back the good old time, (he concluded) it'll take the help of Divine Providence, a heap of rain, and a deal of elboAv grease, to fix things up again. Oath-Taking- in St. Louis. The St. Louis newspapers published long lists of the persons in that city who took the oath of allegiance to the Govern- ment in compliance with General Halleck's recommendation. Some of them append- ed remarks to their signatures. The fol- loAving is an instance : — Truman M. Post, pastor of the First Trinitarian Congregational church of St. 116 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. Louis. " As a minister of the Gospel, and a trustee of a State charity, I recog- nize the fitness of the call on me for my oath of allegiance. Cordially and grate- fully do I give in this my adhesion to my country in this hour of terrible trial, re- garding it as the scource of innumerable blessings to myself, and the millions of my countrymen, and fully believing the present attempt to destroy it to be a curse against both God and men, against the present and future, against ourselves and the human race, with hardly a parallel in the history of the world." That was good text and comment for every lover of his country and his race. Knotty Argument for Secession Ladies. Quite an entertaining dialogue occurred one day in the Governor's office in Nash- ville, Tennessee, between Governor John- son and two secession ladies of that city, who came to complain of the occupation of a residence belonging to the Confeder- ate husband of one of the ladies by a United States officer. The conversation was substantially as follows : — Lady. — I think it is too dreadful for a woman in my lonesome condition to have her property exposed to injury and destruc- tion. Gov. — Well, Madam, I will enquire into the matter, and if any injustice has been done, will try to have it corrected. But your husband, you admit, has gone off with the rebels, and you abandoned your dwelling, Lady. — My husband went off South, because it was his interest to do so. You mustn't find fault with anybody for taking care of himself these times. You know, Governor, that all things are justifiable in war. Gov. — Well, Madam, it appears to me that this broad rule of yours will justify taking possession of your house. Accord- ing to your maxim, I don't see any reason for helping you out of your difficulty. Lady. — Oh ! but I didn't mean it that way. Gov. — No, Madam, I suppose not. I will try to be more generous to you than your own rule would make me. I do not believe in your rule that " all things are justifiable in time of war." But that is just what you rebels insist upon. It is perfectly right and proper for you to vio- late the laws, to destroy this Government, but it is all -wrong for us to execute the laws to maintain the Government. The secession ladies looked around in various directions, and seemed to think that they had opened a knotty argument on a dangerous subject, with a very brist- ling adversary. Heaving a long sigh, they retired. ♦ ' ' Come from 'Ginny, Sure ! " At Point Lookout, where the Union army encamped, the blacks were nearly all from Virginia. Some, however, ran in there from the State of Maryland, pre- tending to have come from Virginia, that thus they might not stand any chance of being returned, in any contingency. On a certain occasion, a rich Marylander came down to the Point, to look after one of his boys ; finding him, he said, ' % Jack, you rascal, what are you here for?'' Jack very coolly replied, " Who be you. Massa ? I never seed you 'fore." " Yes you have too, you lying scamp, I raised you and you must go home with me." '' Yah ! yah ! Massa nebber can don fool dis nigger. I's come from ' ginny, sure," replied the darkey, and utterly refused to know his old master at all. General Marston was asked to send the negro back, but respect- fully declined, and " Massa" went off one darkey short. Literal " Stump" Speech of a Soldier. One of the attendants at the great. Union meeting held in Troy, Miami coun- ty, Ohio, during the gubernatorial canvass between Vallandigham the anti-war can- didate, and Brough the Union Republican candidate, was a returned soldier who had lost one leg at Vicksburgh. He was wel- come! by his friends, and one of them — a PATKIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 117 Vallandigham democrat — entering into conversation with the soldier, remarked, " You were a Democrat when you enlisted, and I suppose you have come back a Dem- ocrat." The soldier replied, " Yes, I was a Democrat when I left, and I am a Dem- ocrat still. ' '< That's right ! " replied his friend, triumphantly ; " and of course you will vote for Vallandigham," — looking around to gain the attention of the crowd to the answer* It came. " My God ! how can I ? " said the soldier, as he' raised his eyes to the crowd, and put his hand on the unhealed stump of his leg. Was not that an eloquent " stump" speech ? Bogus Yankee Legislature in Georgia. When the Twentieth Corps of Sher- man's grand army of invasion through Georgia marched into the capital of that State, to the music of the Union, the offi- cers, to the number of about one hundred, assembled at the Senate chamber, called the roll of the House, appointed a speaker and clerks, and opened the ' Legislature' with prayer, the facetious chaplain pray- ing for the overthrow of the Confederate Government, the return of Georgia to the old Union, fine weather and little fighting on their march to the coast, and conclud- ing with, " All of which is respectfully submitted." A lobby member very gravely arose in the gallery, and asked if this honorable body would hear from the gallery. Half an hour's discussion followed, and on a parliamentary division, it was decided that the gallery should be heard. Rising with all the dignity and polish of a Chesterfield, he quietly put his hand in a side pocket, drew out a flask, placed it to his lips, replaced it in his pocket, and resumed his seat. The Speaker. — I must raise a point of order. I believe it is always customary to treat the Speaker. Lobby Member. — I beg the pardon of the honorable House for my thoughtless- ness. I believe it is customary to treat the Speaker. Here he produced the flask, and pro- ceeded : ' Yes, I beg to inform the House that I shall treat the Speaker — respect- fully.' The flask dropped into his pocket and he into his seat, amid cheers from the gal- lery and smiles from the honorable Speak- er's colleagues. After the organization of the Legisla- ture the question of reconstructing the State was taken up and discussed for some time, with all the gravity conceivable, by the Yankee 'representatives' from the various counties. The result of the de- liberations was that the State was led back like a conquered child into the Union, and a committee appointed to kick Governor Brown and President Davis at their most accessible point — which committee retired, and soon after returned and reported that they were animated by a progressive spirit, but that the articles upon which they were to exercise their pedal extremi ties were non est. The Legislature adjourned after the style of Governor Brown's Legislature of the previous Friday — by taking a square drink and a handful of " hojmuts." Tableau Political. • In. a letter dated from Murfreesboro', N. C, January twenty-second, 1862, is a description of a tableau given there for the benefit of the soldiers. It must have its place among the political olla podrida of the war of the rebellion : — We should not do justice to the tableau unless we were to describe the first scene. A young gentleman representing King Cotton, sat upon a throne resembling a bale of cotton. Down on one side of the throne sat a representative of the ebon race, with a basket of cotton. The king held a cotton cloth as a sceptre, and one of his feet rested on a globe. Around him stood young ladies dressed in white, with scarfs of red and white looped on the 118 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION shoulder with blue. On their heads they wore appropriate crowns. These repre- sented the Confederate States ; Missouri and Kentucky were guarded by armed soldiers. While we Avere gazing on this picture a dark-haired maiden, robed in black, with brow encircled by a cypress-wreath, and her delicate wrists bound by clanking chains, came on and knelt before his maj- esty. He extended his sceptre, and she arose. He waved his wand again, and an armed soldier appeared with a scarf and crown, like those worn by her sister States. He unchained this gentle girl at the bidding of his monarch, changed her crown of mourning for one of joy and lib- erty, and threw the Confederate flag across her, — raised the flag over her and led her forward ; then Kentucky advanced, took her by the hand, and led her into the ranks. Need Ave tell you who this maiden of sable garments was intended to represent ? We leave that to be understood. If your readers cannot divine, it is owing to our description, and not to the scene. The ceremony was performed in pantomime. The representative of Virginia had in- scribed on her crown, ' Mater Herorum ; ' and North Carolina wore on her brow a white crown, on which was the word ' Bethel.' Both of these States were represented by their own daughters. President Washington's Summary Dealing ■with Rebellion. When the Whisky Insurrection broke out in the eastern counties of Pennsylva- nia in 1794, Washington said; "If the laws are to be so trampled upon with im- punity, and a minority, a small one too, is to dictate to the majority, there is an end put at one stroke to republican govern- ment." Washington issued his proclamation on the 7th of August, 1791, declaring that, if tranquillity were not previously restored, on the first of September force would be employed to compel submission to the laws. On the same day he made a requi- sition for twelve thousand men, afterward increased to fifteen thousand. He ap- pointed Governor Lee, of Virginia, to the chief command, and Lee marched with the fifteen thousand men in two divisions. This great military array, says the histo- rian, extinguished at once the kindling elements of a civil war by making resist- ance desperate. Every thing that Washington said and did at thaf period became of singular in- terest to those who lived in the times of the great Southern Rebellion, just two generations following. In writing of the soldiers to Governor Lee he speaks of " the enlightened and patriotic zeal for the Constitution and the laws, which had led them cheerfully to quit their families, homes, and the comforts of a private life, to undertake and thus far to perform, a long and fatiguing march, and to encoun- ter and endure the hardships and priva- tions of a military life. No citizen of the United States can ever be engaged in a service more important to their country. It is nothing less than to consolidate and preserve the blessings of that revolution which at much expense of blood and treas- ure, constituted us a free and independent nation." When the disturbance was quelled, he said: "It has afforded an occasion for the people of this country to show their ab- horrence of the attempt and their attach- ment to the Constitution and the laws; for I believe that five times the number of militia that Avas required would have come forward, if it had been necessary, in support of them." Governor Lee, of Virginia, was the "Light Horse Harry" of the Revolution — peculiarly dear to Washington, Avho in youth had loved Lee's mother before her marriage. He Avas also the father of General Robert E. Lee, the great Con- federate chieftain in arms against that same Constitution and those laAvs. Could General Lee doubt Avhere Washington, PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 119 had he been alive in 18G1, would have been found ? Would he have been found standing side by side with the Virginian Lee, striking deadly blows at the heart and life of his country ? Same old Planter's Crotchet. To General Mitchell and his brave troops belongs the distinguished honor of being the first Federal commander to pen- etrate to the great Charleston and Mem- phis railroad, and the first to break through the enemy's line of defence, ex- tending from Chattanooga to Corinth. A strong Union feeling was discovered by the Nationals as they entered the State of Alabama, but it was mingled with the usual Southern political crotchet of State sovereignty, and the duty of submission thereto. One old Gentleman, a planter, with an extensive estate, expressed the views of the majority of the people of Madison county. Said he — "It seems like tearing out my heart, to give up the old Union, but when Ala- bama voted to separate, I thought it my duty to sustain her." " But," said his Union interlocutor, "Alabama, in attempting to break up the nation, did what she had no right to do." "Ah," responded the old gentleman, " passion and prejudice blinded our eyes to that truth." "Are you then willing,' he was asked, " to see the authority of the National Gov- ernment restored ? " " Yes, and to pray from this time forth that all her people may be willing to re- turn to their allegiance." This final answer of the old planter in- dicated his resolution to abide by the ac- tion of his State, whether the majority of her people became loyal or remained treasonable. It was the old planter's blind- ing and blundering crotchet, as it was of the South generally, among the planters. 8 "Old Zack " and his Son-in-Law. When the usual committee was ap- pointed by Congress to wait upon General Taylor, the President-elect, and announce to him his election by the people as Chief Magistrate, an incident occurred which the events of 1861 served strongly to recall in the minds of those who were knowing to it. It was doubtless with a courteous intent that those who moved the springs in this little matter induced Congress to appoint as chairman of that committee Jefferson Davis, — his previous domestic relations with General Taylor suggesting him as an acceptable medium ; though, had the public been as well informed as the pri- vate mind, such a choice would have been the last adopted. The duty in question is, of course, only a form, to be fulfilled with the gravity and the grace adapted to the occasion, but calling for no display of rhetoric, and no assumption of official dig- nity ; it is simply a constitutional observ- ance, whereby the representatives of the nation testify to the result of the ballot, and state the same to the successful can- didate. General Taylor's want of oratorical ac- complishments, his aversion to display, his modest demeanor, and his conscientious- ness, were known as well as his bravery and patriotism, and would have been deli- cately respected by a thorough gentleman in the discharge of this simple duty, which needed for its performance only quiet courtesy and respectful consideration. Instead thereof, Jefferson Davis, enter- ing the hotel parlor, where General Tay- lor was seated, with the aspect of a quiet, honest old farmer, threw back his shoul- ders, turned out his right foot, and with precisely the air of a complacent sopho- more, began a loud harangue about the " highest office in the gift of a free people," the " responsibility of an oath," and other rhetorical platitudes ; — the needless pitch 120 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION of his voice and dogmatism of his empha- sis, the complacency and elaboration of his manner and assumption of his tone, in connection with the meek attitude and deprecatory air of his auditor, made the tableau resemble a prosecutor and prisoner at the bar. The difference of age and the former relations of the parties, (Davis having by a runaway match married Gen- eral Taylor's daughter, who died a few months after,) and the utter novelty of the good old man's position, made the scene, to say the least, a flagrant violation of good taste not less than good feeling. It was one of those unconscious and therefore authentic revelations of charac- ter, which reveal a man's disposition and temper better than a biography. Though ostensibly doing him honor, the speaker seemed to half defy the gray-haired sol- dier, whose eyes were cast down, and whose hands were listlessly folded — to challenge, as it were, with his fluent self-confidence ^ the uneloquent but intrepid man of ac- tion, and ungracious- ly make him feel how alien to his habits and capacity was the arena to which pop- ular enthusiasm had elevated him the spot, and standing for several minutes apparently fixed to the place, hastily turned and left the chamber, exclaiming that he could stand it no longer, for he "felt his Fourth of July rising too fast." Would that all whose names are familiar with the scenes enacted in that Chamber in 1861, had been susceptible to the spell of that same great name. Witnessing and Dying: for the Truth in Mis- sissippi. About fifty miles from Natchez, Missis- sippi, lived an unflinching Union man. During the war, his residence was ap- proached by an armed gang of guerillas, Magic of Washing-ton's Name. While the disunion Senate of Maryland were in session in the State House at Annapolis, in 1861, a number of soldiers entered the ante-room and inquired if the Senate Chamber was not the place where General Washington once stood? An employee of the house answered that it was, and showed one of them as near as he could the very spot where Washington stood when he resigned his commission. The young man reverently approached Witnessing and Dying for the Truth. who soon succeeded in securing him as a prisoner, and told him, that if he did not immediately and in their presence, recant his former sentiments, and take an oath that he never by word or deed would again favor the principles that he had formerly all along adhered to, his fate would be instant death. His reply was : " In the sight of God and man, I am clear of the crime of treason to so glorious a nation as this was till your wicked and selfish designs have caused it to be what it is; and while I draw the breath of life, I intend never to give my children cause to brand me as a traitor." They then replied that they had a long PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 121 time had him under their special notice, and that the words he had now uttered fixed their determination to make an ex- ample of him, in order that his doom might serve as a warning to others. Whereupon they immediately killed him, in spite of the entreaties, the agony and utter despair of his grief-stricken wife, and in the pres- ence of herself and children. Turning to the widow, they gave her ten days to get inside of the Yankee lines, and if she failed to do so, she would share the fate of her husband, — after which they rode away, leaving her to her gloomy fore- bodings and lonely wretchedness. The cries and sobs of her fatherless children fell in doleful accents upon her ear, which added, of course, still more to her Avretehed state. The sense of duty that she was now under to her children, together with the fortitude that woman is not unfre- quently known to exhibit in extreme cases of peril, nerved her to the task of con- signing her husband to his blood-wet grave. And then, remembering the words of his murderers, their parting threat also to her self, she procured an ox team, and after a trip of a few weary days, such as may easily be imagined, she arrived in Natchez, where she sold her oxen, and by the assist- ance of the Government procured trans- portation to her kindred in Indiana. outbreak, and did not consider their lives safe. Scarcely waiting to hear the words uttered, the General sprung to his feet, and with a voice and a look of almost superhuman energy, exclaimed, Union Men Safe in South Carolina in Jack- son's Day. What a scene it would have been, — said Edward Everett in one of Ins speeches before the citizens of Boston in the autumn of 1864, — to witness the flash of President Jackson's eye and to hear the thunder of his voice, when he heard of the attack on Sumter. What that scene would have been, the following anecdote of ' Old Hick- ory,' as related by Mr. Everett, will pretty fairly show: When the nullification phren- zy was at its height in South Carolina, the Union men in Charleston sent a deputation to Washington, to inform the President that they were daily threatened with an Edward Everett. " The lives of Union men not safe, while Andrew Jackson is President ! Go back to Charleston, and tell the nullifiers that if a hair on the head of a Union man is harmed, that moment I order General Coffee to march on Carolina with fifty thousand Tennessee volunteers, and if that does not settle the business, tell them (he added Avith an attestation that need not be repeated) that I will take the field myself with fifty thousand more." Purging- the Prayer-Book. The venerable Judge Pettigru, for four- score years one of South Carolina's noblest names, continued, to the day of his death, to bear witness to the value of the Union against the traitors who surrounded him. He had no faith in the practicability of their measures, and predicted from them the worst results to the State and the country. One day, while attending church, where, by his presence, he for so many years showed that the character of a states- man was most complete when religion gave it grace and solidity, he found that the ser- vices were purged (by nullification) of the usual prayer for the President of the Uni- ted States. The stern old patriot rose 122 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION from his seat and left the church, thus giv- ! pay Major Bartling, Provost-Marshal at ing a silent but most pointed rebuke to treason in its most rampant locality. General Paine's Conversation with the "Wife of a Secessionist. General Paine, with fifteen hundred men, occupied the town of Mansfield, Ken- tucky, to the great delight of its loyal citi- zens. It is a place situated twenty-eight miles from Paducah, containing one thou- sand inhabitants and many fine residences and public buildings. Soon after taking possession, General Paine and his staif went to make a call upon Mr. John Eaker, an old resident of the town, and one of the wealthiest rebels in it. They all walked into the parlor and took seats, when the General turning to Colonel Mc- Chesney, said : — " Colonel, you will occupy this room as your head-quarters, allowing Mrs. Eaker and family the privilege of remaining in the house ten days, when she, her family and husband, if he can be found, will re- port to me at Paducah, and I will furnish them transportation to New Orleans, and thence to Central America, where they will live hereafter." " Madam, Mr. Eaker has been our ene- my ; he has done all that he could to de- stroy the Government of the United States — that Government which has raised him in the lap of luxury, giving him slaves, rich crops, tobacco warehouses — all that his heart could desire, and did he, could he, think that he could raise his two sons and send them out to murder that Gov- ernment, and yet go unpunished ? Is it possible that he could have been so insane ? Now, madam, I want you to send your husband word to report himself to me im- mediately, and I will spare his life and let him go with you ? " " General, won't you write to him ? " " No, madam, I have no correspondence with rebels, except at the cannon's mouth. You put your boy on a horse and send him Paducah, the sum of ten thousand dollars, which is the fine I have levied upon him. This money, madam, is to go to make up a fund that I am raising from you rebels, from which to pay something toward the support of the widows and orphans your husband has made. Five thousand of it will be paid to the widow Happy. You know, madam, how the old man was led out in the front yard, across the street there, and shot dead! not for having wronged any human being — no, not for this, — but because, and only because, he was unconditionally true to his Govern- ment. Oh ! madam, it makes the blood boil to think of these things." " General, I have a very sick child in the other room, and don't think I can pos- sibly move with it. Won't you let me visit my friends, five miles above Paducah ? I have a daughter living there." " No, madam, I cannot ; think of the four thousand widows in Illinois — think of their little orphan children coming to me for help and protection ! You must go with your husband. God and nature have ordained that Avoman links her fate with her husband, for weal or woe. You have shared his prosperity, you have sympa- thized with him in his rebellion, and now you must abide with him in his exile. I am sorry to say these things, to you, mad- am, but the outraged law must be aveng- ed. How can you expect to live in a country you have robbed and murdered as you have this ? Did you think that the hand of justice would never reach you ? Madam, you will pack your trunks, take all your silver plate, and your linen, bed- clothes, all your ready money, (except the ten thousand dollars which I fine you,) but your heavy goods, such as that elegant bedstead, and this sofa, you cannot take ; it would cost too much to freight them. All your lands and tobacco will go to.the United States, and this will be the end of John Eaker, his estate and family, in the to him to-day, and tell him that he is to | United States ; and you will not go alone, PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC 128 madam, one hundred families from Graves county will go with you — these rebels who cannot live under our Government must go out of it. And, madam, for every day your husband refuses to report to me after to-day, I shall increase his fine five hun- dred dollars." Then turning to Colonel McChesney, the General said : " Colonel, I want you to act as com- mander of this post. You must levy on as many men, white or black (not soldiers) as you may need, first to sink a well that shall supply all your wants ; then repair this railroad, so that trains can run regu- larly to Paducah ; after that, you will send your cavalry out with instructions to rebel farmers who have been raising crops to feed the southern army, to bring all their hay, com and oats, and fat cattle in here, and send to Paducah all the grain and provisions you collect, so that I can oper- ate my whole district free of cost to the Government. For I tell you, Sir, these rebels must pay the cost of this Avar, pay five hundred dollars for every widow they make or cause to be made, support and educate the orphan children of our soldiers, and finally go to Central America, South America, or the jungles of Africa, to eat the apple of their discontent, and die de- pised of men." a Good morning, madam." " Good morning, sh\" John duincy Adams Foretelling 1 the Future to Calhoun. One day, during the debate upon the Missouri bill in Congress, Mr. Calhoun, the great South Carolina leader, remarked to John Quincy Adams that he did not think the slave question, then pending in the nation's councils, would produce a dis- solution of the Union ; but if it should, the South would, from necessity, be compelled to form an alliance, offensive and defensive, with Great Britain. Mr. Adams asked if that would not be returning to the old colonial state. Calhoun said, " Yes, pretty much ; but it would be forced upon them." Mr. Adams inquired whether he thought if, by the effect of this alliance, the popu- lation of the North should be cut off from its natural outlet upon the ocean, it would fall back upon its rocks, bound hand and foot, to starve ; or whether it would retain its power of locomotion to move South- ward by land. Mr. Calhoun replied that in the latter event it would be necessary for the South to make their communities all military. Mr. Adams pressed the conversation no farther, but remarked, " If the dissolution of the Union should result from the slave question, it is as obvious as anything that can be foreseen of futurity that it must shortly afterward be followed by a univer- sal emancipation of the slaves. A more remote, but perhaps not less certain con- sequence would be the extirpation of the African race on this continent by the grad- ually bleaching process of intermixture, where the white is already so predominant, and by the destructive process of emanci- pation, which, like all great religious and political reformations, is terrible in its means, though happy and glorious in its end." Hard-TJp for a Blacksmith. On the 4th of March, 1864, the citizens of Fort Smith, Arkansas, raised a palmet- to flag in town, and one of the soldiers, private Bates, company E, First cavalry, went out and climbed up the tree upon which the flag was suspended, took it down, and brought it into the garrison. Captain Sturgiss ordered him to take it and put it back where he got it. He said he never would The Captain ordered him to the guard house, and in going he tore the flag in pieces. He was then ordered to be put in irons, and was sent to the black- smith shop for that purpose ; but the smith, a citizen, refused to put them on, and he was discharged in consequence. D com- pany, First cavalry, farrier, was then order- 124 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. ed to put them on, and he refused, and was also sent to the guard-house. E com- pany, First cavalry, farrier, then put them on. The soldiery gave three shouts for Bates, and for the blacksmiths who refused to put the irons on. Reading the Amnesty Proclamation at "Buzzard's Roost." When Sherman's men were climbing the sides of " Buzzard's Roost," in their gallant and successful movement at that point, the rebels attempted to resist the advance by rolling down heavy stones from the cliffs and rocky sides of the mountain. The following story is told of the occasion, on the authority of a staff officer : A corporal of the Sixty-fourth Illinois halloed to the rebels, and told them if they would stop firing stones he would read to them the President's Proclamation. The offer was at first received with deri- sive yells, but they soon became quiet, and the corporal then read to them the Amnesty Proclamation. When he came to some part they did not approve, they would set up a fiendish yell, as if in defi- ance, and then sent down an installment of rocks by way of interlude. But the cor- poral kept on in spite of such uncivil de- monstrations, and finished the document, when there was another outburst of yells, mingled with laughter, and the old busi- ness of tumbling down the rocks and firing was again resumed. That corporal de* served an appointment as President Lin- coln's Secretary-at-large. Official Farewell to General Scott. An event of profound interest to the country occurred Oct. 31st, 1861, namely, the resignation of Lieutenant- General Scott, the veteran commander-in-chief. This was owing to his advanced years and va- rious bodily infirmities. The request, on such grounds, could not, of course, but be complied with, and General McClellan was at once notified that he had been selected as the successor of the late Commander- in-chief. The President, accompanied by every member of the cabinet, now visited Gen- eral Scott at his own residence, and read to him the order of retiracy, accompanied with highly eulogistic expressions of the national gratitude for his brilliant services in times past, and regret at the necessity of officially parting with him. The aged General stood up, and with him rose the President and the members of the cabinet. Deeply affected by the occasion, the old veteran said : " President, this hour overwhelms me. It overpays all services I have attempted to render to my country. If I had any claims before, they are all obliterated by this expression of approval by the Presi- dent, with the remaining support of his cabinet, I know the President and his cabinet well. I know that the country has placed its interests in this trying crisis in safe keeping. Their counsels are wise : their labors are as untiring as they are loyal, and their course is the right one." After these few words, overcome by emotion, and tottering from the effects of wounds and infirmities, the old hero sat down. The President and each member of his cabinet now bade farewell to the General and retired. Preaching- the Sword— and Using It. The following telegrapliic correspon- dence passed between a mother in Balti- more, and her son, the pastor of a church in Boston : Baltimore, April 17th. My Dear Son : Your remarks of last Sabbath were telegraphed to Baltimore, and published in an extra. Has God sent you to preach the sword or to preach Christ ? Your Mother. Boston, April 22d. My Dear Mother : " God has sent" me not only " to preach the sword," but to PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 125 use it. When this Government tumbles, look amongst the ruins for your Son. Irish Military Imagination. The following took place at a flag pre- sentation in the Army of the Cumberland, May 1, 1863. The flag was presented to the Fifteenth Indiana Volunteers (on be- half of the young ladies of Hascall, Indi- ana,) by the chaplain, and received for the regiment by General Wagner. The regi- ment was in line, and the rest of the bri- gade assembled to witness the ceremony. The General, in the course of his speech, said : '• Tell the yo\mg ladies of Hascall that when the war is over their then sanctified gift shall be returned to them, unless torn to shreds by the enemy's bullets." "An' thin we'll take 'em back the pole !" cried an Irishman in the regiment. The brigade, officers and men, created a breach of discipline by laughing immod- erately, and Pat received a pass to go to town next day. Brownlow Prefers the *' Direct" Route to Hell. Parson Brownlow, at that time editor of the Knoxville (Tenn.,) Whig, was re- quested by General Pillow, in the early part of the secession movement, to act as chaplain for that General's brigade in the rebel service. The Parson replied in his usual scathing and trenchant rhetoric, as follows : " Sir — I have just received your message through Mr. Sale, requesting me to serve as chaplain to your brigade in the southern army : and in the spirit of kindness in which this request is made, but in all candor I return for an answer, that when I shall have made up my mind to go to hell, I will cut my throat and go direct, and not travel round by way of the Southern Confederacy." Legislative Scene for a Painter. The secret schemes of secession under- taken by certain members of the Ken- tucky legislature gave great impetus, at one time, to the rebel movements in that State, especially as it was known that John C. Breckinridge, one of the political idols of the Kentuckians, would, under certain circumstances, be found on the conspirators' side. During the session of that body, there appeared one day in the Legislative Hall, a patriarchal old farmer from a neighboring county, — one of that kind for whom Kentucky has an instinct- ive veneration, — who uncovered his snowy John C. Breckinridge. locks and sat down. At the first lull in the debate, he rose slowly and said lie had a word to say, but was aware it was out of order for him to speak before the legislature Avhile in session. His dignified and venerable appearance arrested atten- tion, and " Go on ! " " Go on! " from sev- eral voices, seemed to keep him on his feet. Again expressing his diffidence at speaking out of propriety — " Hear ! hear! " resounded generally over the room. The members' curiosity as well as respect for the appearance and manner of the man, was up, and a silence followed the " Hear ! hear ! " when the old hero de- livered the following eloquent but laconic speech : " Gentlemen ; I am delegated by my county to inform you, that if you hold a secret session here, as you threaten to do, not one stone of this capital will rest upon another twenty-four hours after — good 126 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE EEBELLION. day," and he left. Alas ! that those words were derided, as they were, by that band of misguided men, and that Breckinridge, voluntarily falling from his high estate, should at last find himself an outlawed fu- gitive on a foreign shore. George Peabody Repudiating the Rebel Commissioner. Mr. Dudley Mann, one of the repre- sentatives of the rebel cause in England, waited in behalf of that cause on our countryman Peabody, who happens to hold some $300,000 of repudiated Missis- sippi Bonds, on Avhich there is due more than $600,000 of interest. Mr. Mann was very magnificent and grandiloquent, but withal, prosy ; and Peabody, suffering from gout and Mississippi Repudiation, lost his temper. Shaking his clenched fist at the rebel, he said, emphatically : " If I were to go on 'Change and hunt up the suffering and starved widows and or- phans who have been ruined by your infa- mous repudiation of honest debts, and proclaim that you are here to borrow more of our gold and silver to be again paid by repudiation, (as I believe it is my duty to do,) you would inevitably be mobbed, and find it difficult to escape with your life. Good morning, Sir." and took possession of the depot and cars. He inquired of the bystanders where the engineers were to be found. " There goes one," a man replied. Colonel Kinsman hailed him, and he approached. A con- versation ensued, which showed some, thing of the quality of the more demon- strative secesh. Stating the Exact Alternative. The active operations of General But- ler's army in Louisiana were confined, at first, to sudden incursions into the enemy's country, either for the purpose of rescu- ing Union men, who were threatened by their neighbors with destruction, or of breaking up camps and roving gangs of guerillas. The guerillas were numerous, enterprising, and wholly devoid of every kind of scruple. The first dash by the Federals into the inhabited country was made by Colonel Kinsman, who went fifty miles or more up the Opelousas railroad to bring away the families of some Union men who hod fled to the city, asking pro- tection. He crossed the river to Algiers, Stating the Exact Alternative. "Are you an engineer ? " asked Colonel Kinsman. " Yes." " Do you run on this road ? " " Yes." " How long have you been on this road ? " " Six years." " I want you to run a train of cars for me." " I won't run a train for any d — Yan- kee." " Yes you will." " No I won't." " You will, and without the slightest accident too." " I'll die first." " Precisely. You have stated the exact alternative. The first thing that goes wrong, you're a dead man. So march along with us." The man obeyed. Upon getting out of hearing of his townsmen, he appeared PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 127 more pliant, and the conversation was re- sumed. " What is your name ? " " Pierce." " Pierce ? Why that is a Yankee name. Where were you born?" " In Boston." "Are you married ? " " Yes." " Where was your wife born ? " "At East Cambridge." " How lbng have you been at the South?" "About six years." "And you are the man who would'nt run a train for a ' — Yankee.' You are, indeed, a ' — Yankee.' Go home, and see that you are promptly on hand to-morrow morning." He was promptly on hand in the morn- ing, ready to run the train for his con- demned countrymen. But as competent engineers were found among the troops, it was thought best not to risk the success of the expedition by trusting the renegade, and the objects of the party were accom- plished without his aid. Senator Douglas's Last Message to his Sons. For a considerable time previous to his death, Senator Douglas was in a semi- somewhat. Lying at apparent ease in his bed, but with the marks of death upon his pale countenance, Mrs. Douglas, who sat, soothing him gently, by his bedside, painfully aware that the dreadful moment of final separation was approaching, asked him what message he wished to send to his sons, Robert and Stephen, who Avere then students at Georgetown. He an- swered not at first, and she tenderly re- peated the question. He then replied with a full voice, and emphatic tone — " Tell them to obey the laws, and sup- port the Constitution of the United States." Death Preferred to the Southern Oath. John Beman, a watchman on board one of the Western steamers, was deliberately hung at Mound City for his patriotic fidel- ity to the flag of his adopted country. He was a native of Norway, came to this country more than fifty years ago, and lived in Boston, where his children still reside. He was first examined by a "committee," was proven to have said that he hoped Lincoln would come down the river and take every thing ; that he would die rather than live in the South- ern States, and much more of the same sort. The committee proposed to forgive him if he would take an oath to support the Southern States. He indignantly re- pelled the proposition, and said he would die first. Finding that he was determined, beyond all appeals, they threw a rope over the limb of a tree, and, stringing the venerable patriot up twenty-five feet, they left him to a halter's doom. Mrs. S- A. Douglas. is condition ; but on the morning Nature in Council upon the Union. The Rev. Bishop Ames, of the Metho- dist Episcopal Church, while preaching in his usual fervid manner at a Western camp-meeting, remarked that there had been one grand Union Convention, the proceedings of which had not been report- ed by telegraph. Said the eloquent Bish- op : " R was held amid the fastnesses of consciou of that event his mind and energies rallied 1 the everlasting hills. The Rocky Moun 123 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. tains presided, the mighty Mississippi made the motion, the Alleghany Moun- tains seconded it, and every mountain and hill, and river and valley, in this vast country, sent up a unanimous voice — Re- solved, That we are one and inseparable, and what God hath joined together, no man shall put asunder." "Nothing- agin the Old Flag-." After the battle of Fort Donelson, one of the rebel prisoners was asked if he was not ashamed to fight against the Union, and the Government which had done so much for them. He replied, "I never fought agin the Union, and I never will." " What then Avere you doing at Fort Don- elson?" "I hugged the ground closer nor ever I did before in my life." " Yes," peeped up a little shrill voice by his side, " and you ran three miles to get out of the way. You ran until you got tired an 1 then sat down and rested, and ran a'Tain." "Were you forced into the army ? " " Wal, no, not exactly forced ; I knew I would be, so I j'ined. I thought I'd feel better to go myself! " " What do you expect to gain by the rebellion?" "We find our leaders have lied to us. Our big men wanted to get rich and get into office, and so they have got us into this mess by their lies. We have nothing agin the old flag. All we want is our constitutional rights, according to the in- strument under which our forefathers lived. They told us the election of Lin- coln would deprive us of these, and we believed them. But we now know that they were lies." Calhoun's Escape from the Gallows. The relative position of the National Government and South Carolina, and of the President of the United States and John C. Calhoun, in the winter of 1833, placed the latter in great personal peril, which his friends perceived and tried to avert. Among others consulted on the subject was Letcher, of Kentucky, Clay's warm personal friend. He knew that South Carolina must yield, on some terms, to the authority and power of the National Government, and he conceived the idea of a compromise by which, in so yielding, she might preserve her dignity. He pro- posed it to Mr. Clay, who, sincerely desir- ing reconciliation, entertained the idea, and submitted it to Webster. The amaz- ing intellectual plummet of the latter had fathomed the turbid waters of Nullifica- tion deeper than had even the brilliant Kentuckian, and he instantly said : " No ! — it will be yielding great princi- ples to faction. The time has come to test the strength of the Constitution and the Government." He was utterly opposed to compromis- ing and temporising measures with a rebel- lious faction, and told Mr. Clay so ; and from that time he was not approached by those who were willing to shield conspira- tors from the sword of justice. Mr. Clay drew up a compromise bill and sent it to Mr. Calhoun, by Mr. Letcher. Calhoun objected to parts of the bill most decidedly, and remarked that if Clay knew the nature of his objections he would at least modify those portions of the bill. Letcher then made arrangements for a personal interview between these eminent Senators, who had not been on speaking terms for some time. The imperious Clay demanded that it should be at his own room. The imperilled Calhoun consented to so there. The meeting was civil but icy. The business was immediately en- tered upon. The principals were unyield- ing, and the conference ended without results. Letcher now hastened to Presi- dent Jackson and sounded him on the sub- ject of compromise : " Compromise ! " said the stern old man, " I will make no compromise with traitors. I will have no negotiations. I will exe- cute the laws. Calhoun shall be tried for treason, and hanged if found guilty, if he does not instantly cease his rebellious course." PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC 129 Letcher now flew to M' Duffle, Calhoun's ardent friend, and alarmed him with a startling picture of the President's wrath. That night, after he had retired to bed, Letcher was aroused by a Senator from Louisiana, who informed him that Jackson would not allow any more delay, and that Calhoun's arrest might take place at any hour. He begged Letcher to warn Cal- houn of his danger. He did so. He found the South Carolinian in bed. He told him of the temper and intentions of the President, and the conspirator was much alarmed. Meanwhile Mr. Clay, and Senator Clay- ton, of Delaware, had been in frequent consultations on the subject. Clayton had said to Clay, while the bill was lingering in the House, " These South Carolinians act very badly, but they are good fellows, and it is a pity to let Jackson hang them ; " and advised him to get his compromise bill referred to a new committee, and so modify it as to make it acceptable to a majority. Clay did so, and Clayton exerted all his influence to avert the calamity which hung over Calhoun and his friends. He assem- bled the manufacturers who had hurried to the capital when they heard of the compromise bill, to see whether they would not yield something for the sake of conciliation and the Union. At a sacri- fice of their interests, these loyal men did yield, and agreed to withdraw all opposi- tion to the bill, and let it pass the Senate, providing all the nullifiers should vote for certain amendments made by the Lower House, as well as for the bill itself. The nullifiers in committee would not yield. The crisis had arrived. The gallows was placed before Calhoun. Clayton earnestly remonstrated with him. Finally, they concluded to vote as Mr. Clayton demanded, but begged that gen- tleman to spare Mr. Calhoun the mortifi- cation of appearing on the record in favor of a measure against which at that very time, and at his instance, troops were being raised in South Carolina, and because of which the politicians of that State were preparing to declare their secession from the Union. Mr. Clayton would not yield a jot. Calhoun was the chief of sinners in this matter, and he, of all others, must give the world public and recorded evi- dence of penitence, whatever his mental reservations might be. " Nothing would be secured," Mr. Clayton said, " unless his vote appeared hi favor of the measure." The Senate met ; the bill was taken up ; and the nullifiers and their friends, one after another, yielded their objections on various pretences. At length, when all had acted but Mr. Calhoun, he arose, pale and haggard, for he had had a most terri- ble struggle. He declared that he had then to determine which way he should vote, and at the termination of his brief remarks he gave his voice in the affirma- tive with the rest. It was a bitter pill for that proud man to swallow. The alterna- tive presented to him was absolute humili- ation or a course that would bring him to the gallows. He chose the former. With that act fell the great conspiracy to break up the government of the United States in 1832. Minister Faulkner and the Emperor Napo- leon on Secession. The following interesting conversation took place on New Year's day, 1861, be- tween the Emperor of the French and Mr. Faulkner, United States Minister to the French Government. The conversa- tion possesses a special interest in view of the fact that Mr. Faulkner, on his return home became himself an avowed and in- fluential secessionist, participating inti- mately in the counsels of the leading con- spirators. After the usual greetings, the Emperor said : "What is the latest intelligence you have received from the United States? Not so alarming, I trust, as the papers represent it?" " Like most nations, Sire," replied Mr. Faulkner, " we have our troubles, which 130 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION. have lost none of their coloring, as de- scribed in the European press." " I hope it is not true that any of the States have separated from the General Confederation," added Napoleon. " The States still form one common government, as heretofore. There is ex- citement in portions of the Confederacy, and there are indications of extreme Chas. J. Faulkner measures being adopted by one or two States. But we are familiar with the ex- citement, as we are with the vigor, which belong to the institutions of a free people. We have already more than once passed through commotions which would have shattered into fragments any other gov- ernment on earth; and this fact justifies the inference that the strength of the Union will now be found equal to the strain upon it." " I sincerely hope it may be so," re- joined the Emperor, "and that you may long continue a united and prosperous people." ♦ Such a Sight as Thrills the Nerves. The vestry of Grace Church, Episcopal, in New York, was desirous that an Ameri- can flag should wave from the very apex of the spire of that magnificent structure, the height being two hundred and sixty feet from the ground. Several persons offered to undertake the dangerous feat, but on mounting by the interior staircase to the highest window in the steeple, thought they would scarcely have nerve to undertake it. At last, William O'Don- nell and Charles McLaughlin, two young painters in the employ of Richard B. Fos- dick, of Fifth avenue, decided to make the attempt. Getting out of the little dia- mond-shaped window about half way up, they climbed up the lightning rod on the east side of the spire, to the top. Here one of the men fastened the pole securely to the cross, although quite a gale was blow- ing at the time. The flag thus secured, the daring young man mounted the cross, and, taking off his hat, calmly and grace- fully bowed to the immense crowd which were watching his movements from Broad- way. As the flag floated freely in the air, they burst into loud and repeated cheers. It was a sight to thrill the nerves of any patriot. Clerical Prisoners of State. An event occurred one day during Gen- eral Butler's career in New Orleans, which brought that officer into such direct col- lision with the Episcopal clergy, that New Orleans was not considered by the Gen- eral large enough to contain both parties in the controversy. On a Sunday morning, early in October, Major Strong entered the office of the General in plain clothes, and said : '' I have'nt been able to go to church since we came to New Orleans. This morning I am going." Pie crossed the street and took a front seat in the Episcopal church of Dr. Good- rich, opposite the mansion of General Twiggs. He joined in the exercises with the earnestness which was natural to his devout mind, until the clergyman reached that part of the service where the prayer for the President of the United States occurs. That prayer was omitted, and the minister invited the congregation to spend a few moments in silent prayer. The young officer had not previously beard PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 131 of this mode of evading, at once, the re- quirements of the church and the orders of the commanding General. He rose in his place and said : " Stop, sir. It is my duty to bring these exercises to a close. I came here for the purpose, and the sole purpose, of worship- ping God ; but inasmuch as your minister has seen fit to omit invoking a blessing, as our church service requires, upon the President of the United States, I propose to close the services. This house will be shut within ten minutes." The clergyman, astounded, began to remonstrate. " This is no time for discussion, sir," said the Major. The minister was speechless and indig- nant. The ladies flashed wrath upon the officer, who stood motionless with folded arms. The men scowled at him. The minister soon pronounced the benediction, the congregation dispersed, and Major Strong retired to report the circumstances at head-quarters. This brought the matter to a crisis. General Butler sent for the Episcopal clergymen, Dr. Leacock, Dr. Goodrich, Dr. Fulton, and others, who were all ac- customed to omit the prayer for the Presi- dent, and pray in silence for the triumph of treason. The General patiently and courteously argued the point with them at great length, quoting Bible, rubricks and history, with his wonted fluency. They replied that, in omitting the prayer, they were only obeying the orders of the Right Reverend Major-General Polk, their eccle- siastical superior The General denied the authority of that military prelate to change the liturgy, and contended that the omission of the prayer, in the peculiar cir- cumstances of the time and place, was an overt act of treason. " But, General," said Dr. Leacock, " your insisting upon the taking of the oath of allegiance is causing half of my church members to perjure themselves." " Well," replied the General, " if that is the result of your nine years' preaching; if your people will commit perjury so freely, the sooner you leave your pulpit the better." After further conversation, Dr. Leacock asked : " Well, General, are you going to shut up the churches ? " " No, sir, I am more likely to shut up the ministers." The clergymen showing no disposition to yield, General Butler ended the inter- view by stating his ultimatum : " Read the prayer for the President, omit the silent act of devotion, or leave New Or- leans prisoners of state for Port Lafay- ette." They chose the latter — Dr. Leacock, Dr. Goodrich and Mr. Fulton — and were duly shipped on board one of the trans- ports. Curiosity of Rebel Soldiers to hear President Lincoln's Message. A few days after the publication of the President's message and Amnesty Procla- mation, the fact of its promulgation having been made known to the rebel pickets of the Army of the Potomac, they man- ifested great curiosity to hear it, and one of the Union soldiers consenting to read it to them, quite a considerable party collected on the opposite bank to listen. While it was being read the utmost silence and at- tention were observed by the listening rebels ; and after it was finished one of them called out, " We'll go back to camp and tell the boys about it." Papers had been frequently exchanged by the pickets, but about this time the rebels told our men that their officers did not like them to get our papers, as " there was nothing encour- Slidell's Consolation. In one of the great imperial soirees at Biarritz, one of the courtiers of the Em- pire, seeing the emissary Slidell alone crossing one of the reception parlors, ex- 132 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE KEBELLION. claimed: "Ah, Mr. Sliclell! you may show yourself as much as you please ; you will never be recognized." " I beg your par- don," said the Southern' diplomat, " I have been recognized long since for a patriot ; a few more Southern victories and I will be called the representative of a great nation. As to you, Sir, I acknowledge, you are too well known to need recognition ; and this is what consoles me for not being recog- nized!" Bah! rather more precious than flocks of slaves, " alone in his glory." Handsome Rebuke from an Alabamian. A highly instructive as well as amusing incident took place in a business house on one of the principal streets of Nashville, Tennessee, while a colored regiment was marching along to the music of the national airs. Several gentlemen were looking on the parade, among them a wealthy planter of Alabama, the owner of a large number of slaves. One of the group stepped out to the door, looking on for a few minutes, and then indignantly turning on his heel, addressed himself to the grave Alabamian, to the following purport: " Well, I'll be d— if that is not a burn- ing disgrace, which no decent white man can tolerate. Isn't that nigger regiment too great an insult?" The Alabamian jumped to his feet, and replied, while his eyes flashed fire : " Sir, there is not a negro in that regi- ment who is not a better man than a rebel to this Government, and for whom I have not a thousand times more respect than I have for a traitor to his country. I think that the best possible use the Government can make of negroes is to take them and make them fight against the rebels. No traitor is too good to be killed by a negro, no weapon too severe to use against the wretches who are endeavoring to overthrow the Government. Now, Sir, swallow that, whether you like it or not." The rebel stepped off in utter amaze- ment, without uttering a syllable in reply, leaving the sturdy Alabamian, who cher- ished the jewel of patriotism as something John Minor Botts between Two Fires. While the Third Indiana cavalry were engaged in one of the bloody skirmishes which fell to their lot in Virginia, Major McClure, seeing a hale-looking, oldish gen- tleman in a doorway by the roadside, hailed him, and inquired : " Which way did the rebel cavalry, that a moment since passed here, go?" " Sir," was the reply, " I am under parole to the Confederate Govern- ment to tell nothing I see. But, Sir, my name is John Minor Botts — as devoted a Union man as the world can find. I put no 'ifs' nor 'buts' in the case." Political Dialogue in Camp. In the rear of General Grants head- quarters at City Point was the camp of Head-quarters Cavalry Escort. While passing through said camp on a certain oc- casion, a visitor overheard the following dialogue-politico, coming from a group of soldiers lounging under a shelter of pine boughs: Says A. — " I tell you that a majority don't elect the President." Says B. — " I know better ; it does elect, and there ain't nothing else can elect." A. — " Well, it ain't so in our State, any how." B. — " Well, if the majority don't elect, I should like to know who does ? " A. — " Well, I'll tell you who does elect: it's the Pleurisy" B.— " The what-i-sy ? What the is that?" A. — " Well, I don't know exactly, but I know it ain't the majority" A. was right. He only got the pleurisy for ■plurality ; that's all. Money Couldn't Buy his Vote. Up in Morris County, New Jersey, lives old Uncle Pete, who always votes the ticket that bids the highest. A few even- ings before the presidential election of 1864, PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 133 some Republicans went to his house to out- bid some Democrats who had been there. But Uncle Pete informed them he had sold his vote three days before to the Dem- ocrats for ten dollars He was told that if he would carry his ticket and the ten dollars back to the one who gave them, and vote the Republican ticket, they would give him twenty dollars, which offer Uncle Pete im- mediately accepted. Just as the party had left the house they heard a couple of men coming up whom they knew to be Dem- ocrats. Being convinced they were on their way to Uncle Pete's, they hid them- selves till the second party had passed into the house, and went back to listen. The Democrats had hardly become seated when Uncle Pete said : " Gentlemen, you called upon me the other day, and offered ten dollars if I would vote the McLellan ticket. I am poor and took your money and the ticket. Here are both ; take them back — I never sell my vote ! " They tried to induce him to stick to his first promise to them, but it was no go ; for Uncle Pete said . " There is no use to talk, gentlemen. I am a Lincoln man, and have been for over ten years ! " And getting a little warmed up at the thought of the twenty dollars, he continued, " No, gentlemen, there is no use trying to change my mind, as I always vote unflinchingly on principle, and money can't buy my vote. I am a Lincoln man, and have been a Lincoln man all my life!" The Democrats left in disappointment, the Lincoln men of course feeling sure of Uncle Pete's vote ; — unless a higher bid came before election ! Northern Present to Jefferson Davis. The editor of one of the newspapers published in Norwich, Connecticut, sent Jefferson Davis, the " President" of the then '* Six Nations," a pen-holder made from a rafter of the house in which liis forerun- ner, Benedict Arnold, was born. In closing his letter of presentation accompanying the gift, the editor said : — " I have taken occa- sion to present you this pen-holder, as a relic whose associations are linked most closely to the movement of which you are the head. Let it lie upon your desk for use in your official duties. In the ' eternal fit- ness of things,' let that be its appropriate place. It links 1780 with 1861. Through it, West Point speaks to Montgomery. And if we may believe that spirits do ever return and haunt this mundane sphere, we may reckon with what delight Benedict Arnold's immortal part will follow this fragment of his paternal roof-tree to the hands in which is being consummated the work which he began." Scene at Fort Warren: Exit of Mason and Slidell. On the receipt, at Fort Warren, Boston, of the news that Messrs. Mason and Slidell were to be surrendered to the British Gov- ernment, there was general dissatisfaction among both officers and men, and expres- sions very much against their personal safety were freely indulged in ; but upon reading the very cool and logical deduction of the Secretary of State, especially the latter part of his reply, where the insig- nificance of the worth of the custody of the Commissioners in this country is as- serted, and the fact that were it essential to the welfare or the safety of the Govern- ment they would be retained at all haz- ards, a general acquiescence was as freely manifested. On the morning of their departure, the battalion was called out as usual, at 8:45, for dress parade, and were kept upon the parade-ground, manoeuvring slightly, till after the rebels left. The guards were strengthened to prevent any from going upon the parapets, either soldiers or pris- oners, and thus they left as quietly as a dog could — perhaps with not so much no- tice as a noble specimen of the Newfound- land ordinarily attracts. As they passed down to the wharf, thpv w r ere accompanied 134 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. by Colonel Dimmick, who kindly waved all ceremony at the guard-house, save to sim- ply turn out the guard — as our men were unwilling and doubtless would have re- fused to salute the Colonel, for in thus do- ing, they would have had to salute the rebels ; but when the Colonel came back, the thing was done to a nicety. When taking leave of Colonel Dimmick, Mr. Mason was somewhat affected, and said, " God bless you, Colonel ; God bless you ! " and cordially shook hands with him. Mr. Slidell shook hands with the Colonel, and said : " Under whatever circumstances and in whatever relations in the future we may meet, I shall always esteem you as a dear friend." During the morning many rebels thronged the rooms of Messrs. Mason and Slidell to get their autographs, and Mr. Mason's hand was so unsteady as to be noticed through the window out doors. Some of the political prisoners said to Mason : " We hope when you get to Eng- land you will represent our case, impris- oned on this island for no offence save differing from others hi political opinions." He replied that if ever he arrived in Europe he would faithfully represent their case. Bestride our down-fall'n birthdom. Each new morn New widows howl, new orphans cry; new sorrows Strike heaven on the face, that it resounds As if it felt with Scotland and yelled out Like syllable of dolour. Mr. Lincoln leaned back in his chair ir. the shade after this passage was pronounced, and for a long time wore a sad, sober face, as if suddenly his thoughts had wandered from the playroom far away to where his great armies were contesting with the rebellion a vast empire. * Interceding- for her Father : Elizabeth Self and Jeff. Davis. Poor Hessing Self was one of the many loyalists in Tennessee who were imprison- ed and barbarously treated by the rebels because of their fidelity to the Stars and Stripes. He Avas told that a halter was in preparation for him, only a few hours previous to the time appointed. His daughter, who had come down to admin- ister to his comfort and consolation — a most estimable girl, about twenty-one years of age — Elizabeth Self, a tall, spare-made President Lincoln at the Play of Macbeth. One evening at the Washingtoit theatre, while Macbeth was being rendered upon the stage by Mr. Wallack and Mr. Daven- port, President Lincoln was observed to be present with his little " Tad " (Thaddeus Lincoln) with him. It being Mr. Lincoln's favorite play, one could not repress a cer- tain curiosity to know — though he was familiar with them as with stump-speaking, doubtless — how certain passages would strike him. When the following passage between Malcolm and Macduff was pro- nounced the audience was suddenly silent as the grave : Mai Let us seek out some desolate shade and there Weep our sad bosoms empty Mart Let us rather Hold fast the mortal sword and like good men Interceding for her Father. girl, modest, handsomely attired, begged leave to enter the jail to see her father. They permitted her, contrary to their usual j custom and savage barbarity, to go in. They had him in a small iron cage, a ter- i rible affair ; they opened a little door, and j the jailor admitted her. As she entered the cage were her father was, she clasped \ him around the neck, and he embraced her PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 135 also, throwing his arms across her should- ers. They sobbed and cried ; shed their tears and made their moans. When they had parted, wringing each other by the hand, as she came out of the cage, stam- mering and trying to utter something in- telligible, she lisped the name of Mr. Brownlow, who was confined within the same walls. She knew his face, and he could understand as much as that she de- sired him to write a dispatch to Jefferson Davis, and sign her name, begging bim to pardon her father. Mr. B. worded about this : " Hon. Jefferson Davis. — My father, Hessing Self, is sentenced to be hanged at four o'clock to-day. I am living at home, and my mother is dead. My father is my earthly all ; upon him my hopes are centered ; and, friend, I pray you to par- don him. Respectfully, Elizabeth Self." Jefferson Davis, who then had a better heart than some of his coadjutors, immediately responded by commuting his sentence to imprisonment. Clerks of the President. Some clever patriot, anxious that things political should square a little more nicely with his ideas of the necessities of the public welfare, went to A\ r ashington, and there sought the occupant of the White House. He said to Mr. Lincoln, " Sir, you must get rid of Mr. Seward — throw him overboard." " Mr. SeAvard," said the President, " is Secretary of State. He conducts the diplomacy of the country. Have you read his diplomatic correspon- dence ? " '• Yes, Sir." " Have you any fault to find with it ? " " No, Sir." "Well, Sir, he is my clerk ; I got him for that purpose." " Well, but you should throw Blair overboard." " Sir, Mr. Blair is Postmaster General. Do you get your papers and letters regularly ? " " Yes, Sir." Well, Sir, he is my clerk for that purpose ; and /am President of the United States." That was pretty much the idea entertained by President Jackson of his cabinet. 9 " Mr. Lincoln Forgot It ! " The capture of Mason and Slidell creat- ed intense excitement throughout Europe, and in no country perhaps was this excite- ment more mercurial than in Paris. Pub- lic opinion was in painful suspense in re- gard to the forthcoming Presidential Mes- sage, which it was supposed would contain a broad and national enunciation relative to the event which held almost the whole world by the ears. The anxiously awaited document duly arrived, but no word did it contain about the affair of the Trent. The surprise of the volatile Parisians knew no bounds. A speculator at the Bourse, more spirituelle than his col- leagues, found an explanation of the enig- ma : " Mr. Lincoln forgot it ! " The word was taken up at once, and had an immense success. Here was England about to fall on the American coast with an armada such as the world had never seen, all Eu- rope was in consternation at the disasters that were to follow such a struggle, com. merce was already paralyzed, the funds were fluctuating like the needle of a ba- rometer before a storm, and — Mr. Lincoln had forgotten even to speak of the circum- stance ! The joke was too chilling ; and people swore while they laughed. Was there ever such a people on the face of the earth ? lis ne se doutent de Hen ' They fiddle while Rome is burning ! ♦ Examining one of the Baltimore TJncon- querables. Considering the source from which the following narration comes — the columns of the Charleston Mercury — it may perhaps be regarded as 'drawn rather mild,' though the veraciousness of the affair, even as thus given, is more than doubtful. It however gives the rebels a chance to set off the " unconquerable spirit of the women of Baltimore," and this is at least instructive to the student of feminine benignity. But to the " unconquerable" : — A Mrs. W., of Baltimore, about to pay a visit of a few days to the country, to some relatives, was driving through the city in 136 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. her own carriage, with her trunks strapped behind. Suddenly the vehicle was stop- ped by a policeman, who assured the lady she was under arrest, and would be obliged to repair immediately to the office of the Provost-Marshal. Mrs. W., somewhat indignant at the request, refused to go, alleging as an excuse, that such a public place was unfit for a lady to frequent ; she said that she would go to the Commanding General, Dix, at Fort McHenry, but if the policeman attempted to take her to the Provost Marshal she would shoot him. " As you please, madam ; I will get into the carriage and go to the fort with you." " You are mistaken," replied Mrs. W. ? " this carriage is mine, and if you attempt to get into it I will immediately fire upon you." The policeman took a seat with her coachman, in whom Mrs. ~W. confided as her protector, and they drove to Fort Mc- Henry. On reaching the Fort, she sent for General Dix, and seeing her he said : " Madam, J do not know how to address you." " It is time you did, Sir, since I am ar- rested, I suppose, by your authority." " Madam, you look wearied ; walk into my office." Ordering some regulars to bring in the trunk and search it, the General remarked to Mrs. W. : " This is a military necessity, madam, I would these things were not, but the Gov- ernment must be supported. ' United we stand,* you know. Madam, have you any sons in the Confederate army ? " " I have three, Sir." "• Did you aid and encourage them to enlist in that service ? " "General Dix, are you a married man ? " " I am, madam." " Then ask your wife what she would have done under similar circumstances." " Madam, you look faint and weary ; let me order you some refreshments." " What ! eat here ? I, a Southern wo- 'vian, break bread with the Yankees ? Never ! while they are the miserable foes they have proved themselves. Every day I see more clearly the necessity of an eter- nal separation. And where the dividing line is fixed I want a wall built so high that a Yankee can never scale it ! " The trunk breakers having satisfied themselves that nothing objectionable to the Administration could be found, report- ed the same to General Dix, who, on con- sultation, determined to have the person of Mrs. W. searched. The gallant Gen- eral remarked : " Madam, it is necessary now that your person be searched ; you will not object, I hope ? " " Oh, no, Sir, if the person to perform that ignoble office is a female." " Oh, yes, madam, a lady, your equal." " Sir, you are mistaken — not a lady, nor my equal. Were she either, she would not do the degrading work you as- sign her." Mrs. W. was taken to a private apart- ment, and the search was begun. Find ing the woman delinquent, Mrs. W. threat- ened to report her, if she did not perform her duty faithfully. " Pull off my shoes," she continued ; " look well into them ; make a thorough search, and see if you can find a combination of red and M'hite, or anything inimical to the Union-savers ; look well, or I will report you." ' The woman finding nothing treasonable upon Mrs. W., returned with her to the gallant General, telling him she would not search another lady for five hundred dol- lars : that such a persevering character she had never encountered. General Dix. shocked, no doubt, at Mrs. W's agitated appearance, again pro- posed refreshments, saying, u Madam, do have a glass of wine." " Only on the condition, Sir, that you will drink with me to the health and suc- cess of General Beauregard ! " The wine, it is believed, was not taken. Mrs. W. then, turning to General Dix, said : PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 137 « Sir, I hope } r ou are satisfied that I have nothing traitorous to your righteous (!) cause. You thought to find the Confeder- ate flag in my trunk, or on my person ; in- deed, you are not good at hide and seek. Your soldiei-s are too little interested in your righteous cause to serve you faithful- ly. They searched my house a fortnight since for the flag. Both you and they have been foiled. I sent that flag to Vir- ginia ten days since under a load of wood ; it now waves over the glorious Confeder- ates at Manassas. Sir, it seems the Yan- kees' peculiar pleasure is to try to frighten women and children. They cannot gain battles, so they revenge themselves in this ignoble manner. And now, Sir, I imagine you have done." " I regret, madam, that we should have met under these unfortunate circumstances. I will detain you no longer." " Sir, I demand one thing of you, before I depart. I have been arrested on suspi- cion. I desire now an honorable dis- charge." " Oh, madam, that is unnecessary ; it is a mere form, and therefore useless." " I like forms, General Dix, particu- larly when connected with official docu- ments." The General, seeing Mrs. W. determin- ed, ordered the Secretary to write the dis- charge, and, handing it to Mrs. AY, said : " Madam, I believe that is all." "No, Sir, not all yet. I wish your name added. I believe that it is essential to such a document." The General, more reluctant to sign his name than to grant the discharge, was finally brought to the point. " And now, General Dix," said Mrs. W.," do you know what I intend doing with this discharge ? I shall send it to my sons at Manassas, and if they have any of the spirit of their mother, they will one day make you rue this encounter." After Mrs. W. left, they say the Gener- al vowed he would not see another woman for three years, three months, and three days, calling, no doubt, to mind, Richard Camr de Lion's famous truce with Saladiu Poor Pat's Idea of tlie Thing. There is a story told of an Irishman who, landing in New York harbor, was met and welcomed by a countryman who had been longer here. " Welcome, Pat," said the latter, " I'm glad to see ye ; you've come just in time, for to-morrow's election day." Pat and his friend took some refresh- ment together, and presently the newly- arrived began to make some inquiries about voting. " Ye'll vote for who ye plaize," said his friend, " sure it's a free counthry." " Well, thin, be-gorra," rejoined Pat, " I go agin the government — that's what I always did at home." Juvenile Political Sentiments. An artist from the North was sitting on a bluff, at New Orleans, making a sketch of a river scene, when a whole bevy of little children came round to watch him, conversing freely upon the merits and de- merits of the picture, with all the acute- ness and correctness of any full-grown critic. A conversation between the artist and the little ones soon commenced, and as the lighter the straw the better can be seen the way the wind blows, these little fellows gave the man of the pencil as good an insight into the real state of political feeling there as could have been obtained from the older and more wily population. a What are you all, youngsters — Union or Secesh ? " asked the artist. " Union, Sir," simultaneously exclaimed the half-dozen tiny voices, with a decision that was surprising. " Oh, yes, it's very Avell to tell me that, with all those blue-coats coming up the hill ; but were you not all Secesh yester- day?" "No, Sir! we were always Union," firmly replied the leader — the same who had been reading from the note-book — 138 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION " we ain't afraid of your soldiers, either ; when they come here we know we are going to have something to eat." " Don't you have any tiling to eat, then, when the rebels are here ? " " Scarcely any thing, Sir ; there is'nt a thing they see they don't take ; " and then the Avhole of them began eagerly, at once, to give his individual experience of cases of extortion and oppression among poor families. " But though you are for the Union, my little friends," continued the artist, " I guess your parents are all Secesli." " No, Sir ; mine ain't," cried one. " they took the oath." " So did mine," chimed in all the oth- ers. " Don't you think your parents took it because they were afraid of us ? " asked the artist, turning to his young friend of the note-book. "No, Sir; father and mother were al- ways Union. I wish you could have seen how she took care of a sick Michigan soldier for three months; he used to call her mother, and the soldiers always loved father and mother. I wish I could show you my mother, Sir." The artist said he would be glad to see her, and shortly after set out with the boy to show him through the town, which he did most effectually, pointing out not only every building and thing of note, but every well-known Union or Secesli dwell- ing. The former appeared to be in a la- mentable minority; and others again he said had taken the oath, but he didn't think they were " good for much." Where are TheyP General Butler, during the interval of his military duties, made a visit to the White Mountains in New Hampshire, and while there he was compelled to make a speech. He enumerated the various points gained by the Union armies, and the work which had been accomplished, in the following strain : " The flao; of the Union to-day floats in every State of the Union but Texas. The rebellion came upon us when we were possessed of an army less than any other country keeps for an armed police. Traitorous hands had so disposed of it, and scattered our navy, that neither was available to imme- diately crush the incipient rebellion. But in two years we have seen three-quarters of a million of men raised." Before this last sentence was completed, one of the audience asked in a sneering tone, " Where are they now ? " " Where are they now ? " replied General Butler, with his customary prompt- ness, " Some of them lie sleeping beneath the sod ; and others are still fighting the battles of their country ; while you re- main at home aiding the cause of trai- tors ! " Rosecrans and Vallandigham coming' to an Understanding-. When Vallandigham arrived at Mur- freesboro', General Rosecrans went to see him. " I wanted to see you," said the General ; ' k I wanted to see you, Vallan- digham, to see if you had a rascal's face." Then changing the subject rather abrupt- ly, and bringing down the forefinger of his right hand in that rapier-like style which is a conspicuous feature of his gesticula- tion when he is in terrible earnest, he said : " Vallandigham, don't you corne back here. If — you — do — Vallandigham, I'll be , and may God forgive me for the expression — I'll be if I don't hang you ! " People will be pleased to remember that the General claims that he " never blasphemes, but sometimes swears." John Letcher's Views on a Very Personal Subject. When the boys of the Fifteenth West Virginia regiment went into Lexington, Va., they paid a visit to the home of Ex- Gov. Letcher, and among other things found in his dwelling was a composition read by him during his school days. As PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIYIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 139 the composition is on a subject that might have proved of no small personal interest to the author, it is here given word for word, and letter for letter. The subject is that of Capital Punishment. The manuscript bears the following in- dorsement on its back, and is also signed by its author, viz : " John Letcher, Composition read Sept. 25th, 1830. I have often thought if capital punish- ments were abolished, our Constitution would be rendered more wholesome. To hang a man looks too much like bar- barism among a people who call them- selves a civilized nation, when we con- sider the manner in which publick execu- tions are attended. They are generally if not always attended with riot and drunkenness, which is very prejudicial to morality, whereas if there were no publick executions this not be the case. A great multitude of people from a distance at- tend these executions whose families are on the eve of starving. It would have been better J. M. Jones had been confined in the penitentiary than to have been hung he would have had a chance to repent and the State would have been paid for keeping him the time he was confined in Lynchburg. Up- on the whole 1 am inclined to think if capital punishments were abolished our constitution would be rendered more wholesome. J. Letcher. September 24th, 1830." Government is right. You young men must sustain it. Col. E. — But I approve of the Eman- cipation Proclamation, and all. Gen. C. — So do I. Whether or not the President had the constitutional right to declare the slaves free, the President's friends do not strengthen the measure by claiming it to be constitutional. I do not deny that there is that in the Constitution to justify the act ; but the circumstances of the country clearly justify it. I do not fear its effect in the South — I only hope it will prove effectual. I cannot under- stand how any old Democrat can have any sympathy with the South; and I hope that if there are any persons in the North who would ever eonsent to a separation, they will not be permitted to have any position or influence. The old general and statesman showed a good stiff backbone. Mr. Cass's Backbone. Colonel Eastman of Chicago, having paid a visit to General Cass, narrates his I political conversation with that venerable | statesman, in substance as follows : Colonel Eastman — I have always ad- mired and supported you as a Democrat, but perhaps 3011 will not regard me as a Democrat now, as I have pledged my support to the present officers of the Gov- ernment, and to all the war measures. General Cass — You are right. The Cavender, the Martyr Preacher. There was in Van Buren County, Ten- nessee, an old Methodist preacher, of a great deal of ability, named Cavender. He was from the first, a most determined Union man, and as his influence in the County was great, they determined to make an example of him and get him out of the way. So the most rabid among the rebels took the aged and service-worn preacher out of his house, put a rope around his neck, and, setting him upon a horse, led him out into a forest. They then told him that unless he would pub- licly renounce his Unionism they were ready to hang him. Poor Cavender re- plied: " God gave me breath to bear witness to His truth, and when I must turn it to the work of lies and crime, it is well enough to yield it up to Him who gave it," They then asked him if he had any parting request. He said " he had no hope that they would attend to any thing he might ask." They said they would. He 140 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION- then requested that they would take his body to his daughter with a request that she would lay it beside the remains of his departed wife. They then said : " It's time to go to your prayers." " I'm not one of the sort," he replied, '* who has to wait until a rope is around his neck to pray.'" "Come, old man ; no nonsense ; if you don't swear to stand by the Southern Confederacy you'll have to hang," at the same time tying the rope to a branch. " Hang away," said the old man. One of them then gave a blow with a whip to the horse upon which poor Caven- der sat — the horse sprang forward, and the faithful servant of God and his coun- try passed into eternity. As already re- corded, they said they would fulfil his last request. Well, they cut the flesh off his bones and threw it to the hogs ; his heart was cut out and lay in a public place till it rotted. heard from you ; and I am going to the field again, partly to get away from an atmosphere that tolerates such people." Secesh sympathizer dumbed. " God's Flag-." As one of the brigades of the reserve corps which came up to the rescue of Gen- eral Thomas at Chickamauga was march- ing through the town of Athens, a bright- eyed girl of four summers was looking intently at the sturdy fellows as they tramped by. When she saw the sun glancing through the stripes of dazzling red and on the golden stars of the flag, she Bad Atmosphere for a Patriot's Lung's. In one of the Chelsea (Mass.) horse cars, there one day exhibited himself an original k secesh ' sympathizer — and after- war Is a groaner, of course — who com- menced the usual doleful lament common to that class, about the great rise in prices in this article and that, with the gold groan as a clincher to the whole story. There was not a word of hope or cheer for the country ; nothing but the evils from which civil wars are inseparable, could he see. Presently a returned soldier spoke some- thing in this wise : — '• All you say may be true, sir, but Ave have no such sort of talk in the army. No man would be allowed to utter such sentiments by the troops who are fighting the battles of their country to save it. I have served in the field three years. My time has expired. I joined the army from patriotic motives — because I believe we have a country worth fighting for, and the Union is our only hope. I am sick and tired of hearing such talk as I have just exclaimed, clapping her hands : " Oh, pa ! pa ! God made that flag ! — see the stars ! — it's God's flag!" A shout, deep and loud, went up from that column, and many a bronzed veteran lifted his hat as he passed the sunny-haired child of bright and happy thoughts, resolving, if his good right arm availed anything, God's flag should conquer. What a sweet and happy christening the glorious ensign received from those artless lips — ' God's flag ! ' and so it is. Taking- his Choice. The proffering of the Union oath of alle- giance to the people of Tennessee, in the infected districts, proved a severe expert- PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 141 mentum cruris to the professed patriotism of some of the people there. As a speci- men of the amusing scenes witnessed in the provost-marshal's office, the following will illustrate the ' situation : ' A surly planter presented himself, desiring to trans- fer himself or his goods to the North. " Certainly, sir ; " responded the mar- shal, " you will be obliged to take the oath of allegiance to the United States Gov- ernment." After some hesitation, and considerable inward squirming, the applicant gruffly re- marked — '•Well, I'll take it." The oath was propounded. As it was read out, the applicant's face assumed an expression of mingled surprise and indig- nation, almost sublime in its intensity. " Why, sir, I can not take that oath. It compels me to discountenance and discour- age secession forever." « Yes, sir." " And then it binds me to maintain the National authority over that of my own State. No, sir, I can not take that oath." " Very well, sir, there is no compulsion in the matter. But until you do, I shall be obliged to refuse you permission to leave town, or to ship or receive goods by the river." is not far distant. If you wish to hold us (meaning his brigade) prisoners very long, you had better send us further South, for before the month is out Memphis will be in our possession, and then the Mississippi valley will be lost to you and the back- bone of the rebellion broken." Object of the War on the Union Side. When the train from Corinth arrived at the Memphis and Charleston railroad depot, having on board General Prentiss and a portion of his brigade captured at the battle of Shiloh, a large crowd assem- bled to see the Yankees ; but no disrespect was shown them. On the contrary, bread, cakes, pies, tobacco and cigars were given them without stint. Said a rebel Colonel to General Prentiss : "What are the Federals fighting for?" " For the restoration of the Union as it was!' replied the General. " You don't think reconstruction is pos- sible, do you ? " continued the Colonel. " Yes," said the General, "and the event Object of the War on the Bebel Side. On the Louisville and Nashville rail- road, when the cars were conveying the gallant Union soldiers and the rebel pris- oners, a Union officer coming along said to a Confederate chap, " Will you answer me one question ? W^at are you fighting for ?" " What are yousV was the imme- diate reply of ' Alabammy,' and some others. " That is not answering my ques- tion. I asked you first," said the officer: At this there were mutterings of ' liberty bills,' ' abolitionists,' ' unconstitutional,' and some such expressions. " We are fighting for the rich marts niggers" finally spoke up an intelligent-looking Corporal, in a clear-ringing and decided voice. There were some 'constitutional' muttering^ IU M. T. Hunter. against this, on the Confederate side of the house, but they were entirely too fee- ble to neutralize the impression of truth fulness which the first remark made upon all the crowd, both Confederates and Un ionists. "That is all you need to say," observed the officer; "that short sentence 142 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION covers the whole ground." In reply to the remark that " there would be a large number in the South who had never been in the habit of working before the war, who would be found to have learned to do so since," Reb. said: "Oh, yes, one good thing about this war is that it will teach many of the rich, lazy fellows how to work and take care of themselves, which they never knew how to do before." Had R, M. T. Hunter's famous pronuncia- mento to the people of Virginia been ac- companied with those last two lines, it would have been an antidote to his pol- ished falsifications that would have saved the " old mother State " from plunging into a four years' war that soaked every acre of her soil with blood — yea, would have deprived the Confederacy of its first, strongest and most vital foothold. Investigation by General Butler into General Phelps's Insanity. While in command at Fortress Monroe, some officers told General Butler that they had been conversing with General Phelps, and that he (Gen. P.) was manifestly crazy. General Butler, with his charac- teristic promptness, went over at once and conversed with General Phelps, and found him as usual quite sensible. A few days after that, some Vermont gentlemen ar- rived, to urge the appointment of General Phelps to some expedition. General But- ler said, with great solemnity, " But, gen- tlemen, have you not heard the sad re- ports of the insanity of General Phelps ? " The Vermont friends of Gen. P. were very indignant, and were denouncing the charge as malicious, when General Butler interrupted them by saying, " Stop, gen- tlemen, I have looked thoroughly into the matter of General Phelps's insanity, and find that it is only that he has become an Abolitionist two months before you and I." American Consul at Matamoras. The Mexicans, having previously learned of Ins intention to do so, decided to give him a public reception. A deputation was dis- patched to invite him to the Public Hall. The military were paraded, a salute was fired, and all the enthusiasm of a gala day was manifested. Speeches were made by Srs. Argues, Cartina, and others, express- ing their sympathy with the Federal cause in the United States, and their belief that the result would be favorable to the cause represented by General Banks. General Banks replied, hoping that Mexico would come out of her present troubles trium- phant, and, after a great many mutual ex- pressions of friendship and sympathy, the party adjourned to the office of the Ameri- can Consul. The citizens of Matamoras were highly pleased with the quiet, unas- suming manner of the American General. One poor fellow, however, seemed greatly disappointed. lie was an old Mexican soldier, had fought at Palo Alto and Re- saca de la Palma. He evidently expected to see something more than human. "Ah, Senor," said he, " the Americans are not what they were at Palo Alto. I remember them well there ; their horses were larger than elephants, and the head of a mounted American reached the heavens ! " American Soldiers Then and Now, After the capture of Brownsville, Texas, General Banks paid an official visit to the Unexpected Rebuff. Emerson Etheridge, formerly clerk ol the House of Representatives, at Wash- ington, was introduced to Brutus J. Clay of Kentucky, and immediately began to denounce the government. Mr. Clay, after hearing his tempest a few moments, replied: "Well, Mr. Etheridge, this is pretty rough. Before the war, when I was a Democrat, I used to hear of you down in Tennessee as an Abolitionist. You must have lately changed your views." This was somewhat wilting to the retir- ing clerk, who supposed that he had got ft man after his own heart. He plucked un PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC 143 courage, however, and went into another tirade. Mr. Clay, thereupon, with calm- ness mingled with manifest indignation, rising to his full height, interrupted — " Well, sir, this is our first meeting. Your language, sir, seems to me atrocious, and all I have to say to you is, that when men talk thus down in Kentucky, we re- gard them as secessionists, and treat them accordingly." Mutability of Public Reputation. The sudden changes in the popularity of our political and military chieftains have been most remarkable,— so much so as to lead to the inquiry, " What is lasting distinction ? " There are, for instance, not many people in Boston who will fail to recollect the part they bore in the sponta- neous triumph which overwhelmed Gen- eral Banks on his return to Massachusetts during the war. On the very day in ques- tion, that favorite of the people was con- gratulated by a friend on the hold which he had on the public favor. " Yes, mad- am," said he, with his grave and expres- sive smile, " and the first mistake I make, Sheridan. they will forget it all," — a prediction that more than one General's experience most amply verified during the struggle, not excepting the General who thus so philo- sophically expressed himself. But, what Banks, through unavoidable obstacles, failed to execute, of his well planned cam- paign in the Shenandoah, the gallant Sher- idan abundantly retrieved by his brilliant and successful tactics — his name and fame encrowned with ineffaceable splendor. Coming: Events Cast their Shadows Before. When Marcus Morton was Governor of Massachusetts for the first time, he one day addressed his Council in the executive apartment at the State House upon his intended appointments, and among other matters he alluded to a petition from a young man who desired to fill the situation of messenger to the Governor and Council. The applicant had then just commenced his public career, having spoken at polit- ical meetings with excellent effect. The Governor remarked with reference to the matter: "I have considered his case and I shall not appoint him, for he is too smart a man and too good a mechanic to fill the position." "What did you say was his name?" asked a councillor, who had not listened very attentively: "His name," replied the Governor, "is Nathaniel P. Banks." That General Banks was one of the truest-hearted, though not always the most successful, of patriots, in the hour of his country's wo, no one will deny Leng-th of the "War according- to Floridan Chronology. The sublime ignorance in which the poor non-slaveholding whites of the South are steeped is pretty fairly exemplified in the following: In the month of February, 1864, when the United States troops penetrated to Jacksonville, Florida, some Confederate soldiers were captured. A motley crew they were, whose picturesque variety of raggedness bore here and there some in- dications of aim at military style, but nothing of what could be called " uniform." Two men claimed exemption from cap- ture as being civilians. One of the two owned to having been impressed into the Confederate army, but alleged that he had trot his discharge and was then a civilian. 144 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE EEBELLION. "How long Avere you a soldier?" asked Captain Randolph. "Three years," replied the prisoner. " The Confederate army has been three years in the field — eh?" asked the Cap- tain. " No," answered the ' cracker,' " but I was in the State of Florida service part of the time." Length of the War. " How long were you a soldier for Flor- ida?" "Two years," said the ex-conscript. "And how long has the war been going forward?" asks the Captain again. " Well, I suppose going on fifteen years," replied the prisoner. "Are you sure of that?" his captor in- quired. " Now, I hain't kept no strict tally," the Floridan veteran answers, "but this I do know, sarten ; we've ben hangin' the darn- ed Ab'lishnists a darned sight longer time nor that ; well, 'bout's long's I kin remem- ber!" act of brutality to a high official, which in later days found its counterpart in Brooks's assault on Senator Sumner. The inauguration of the monument was marred by a brutal and cowardly assault on the President of the United States. In the early part of May, 1833, the steamer Cygnet was bearing Andrew Jackson, on his way from the Capital to lay its corner stone. The Cabinet and many guests were on board, and the beauty of the day, and the music of peace charmed the company. While he sat over his newspaper smoking in the cabin, a dismissed Lieutenant of the Navy suddenly attacked the President, striking the General in the face with his gloved hand, but was instantly seized by the bystanders. In the melee the table behind which the President sat was broken down. The old hero only remarked : " No villain has ever escaped me before, and he would not had it not been for the table." It seemed as if the saered ei-rand of the President Avas about to be defeated, but the boat sailed on and he accomplished his duty, as Avas his Avont, forgetful of himself. Interesting- Scrap of History. While on the hights of Fredericksburg, the attention of our men Avas often at- tracted by the shaft of an imposing mon- ument in full view, and many took occa- sion to visit and examine it. Though its commemoratiA'e object belonged, as is well knoAvn, to the past, there is a strange rem- iniscence connected Avith its history, — an Mrs. Polk Defining her Political Position. Much has been said of the secession proclivities of Mrs. Polk, the Avidow of the late President. A writer in one of the Avestern journals gives an account of an interview Avhich he had with that distin- guished lady, Avhile he Avas on a visit to Nashville, during high disunion times. He remarked to her: " Mrs. Polk, I have heard you accused, since I have been in Nashville, of being a bitter secessionist: how is this?" She quickly and Avarmly responded in substance as follows: " Mr. G , that is a AATongful accusa- tion. I never Avas a secessionist, and I don't think I ever will be one. I ahvays said there was no excuse for the course taken by my misguided Southern friends. I said that Mr. Lincoln was constitution- ally elected, and that that election should be acquiesced in by every true patriot. I PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 145 go, Sir, for my Government — my whole Government." " In other words, Mrs. Polk, you go for that United States of which your late hon- ored husband was once the President." " Yes, Sir," she responded, with marked emphasis, "I do. I know my name has been placed before the public — once at least — in a connection that may have en- gendered in some mhids doubts of my loy- alty ; but was so placed against my wishes and remonstrances. But inasmuch as it was done for a humane and charitable pur- pose, I said nothing publicly about it. I do not deny," she added, " that my wo- manly sympathies are with the South, and that I often catch myself exulting over the success of the Confederate arms, but this is only when my reason is taken prisoner and my judgment temporarily suspended at the bidding of my sympathies, prejudices and affections. I was born in the South. From infancy to old age — for my days now, you know, ' are in the sere and yel- low leaf,' — my surroundings have all been Southern. My relatives, my friends, and more than all, my late loved and honored husband, were all of that 'sunny clime.' Is it, then, reasonable to suppose that, 'in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye,' with the frosts of many winters upon my head, I can throw off, as I would a gar- ment, all the affections, all the endearing associations, all the prejudices (if you please) of a long life ? No! No! this can- not be. And yet, dear Sir, notwithstand- ing all this, I long, and pray, and yearn for a restoration of my distracted country to its former peaceful and happy condition ; for a restoration of the 'Union as it was.'" The words italicized in the above afford a pretty direct clue to the alleged disloyal proclivities of the venerable lady. ♦ . Armstrong-, the Rebel Dominie, before Gen- eral Butler. One of the most interesting cases that came before General Butler to decide, in respect to loyalty, was that of Rev. Geo. D. I Armstrong, of Norfolk, Virginia, the same clergyman upon whom sentence of impris- onment at Fort Hatteras Avas pronounced, for his rebel sentiments. An aide of Gen- eral Butler conducted the first examina- tion, but the General himself afterwards made a careful personal investigation, cross-questioning Mr. Armstrong very closely. General Butler — I perceive that in your former examination you declined answer- ing the question : " Do you call yourself a loyal man in letter and spirit to day?" Mr, Armstrong — I do not decline to answer now ; if I were to put my own in- terpretation upon it, I should say I am ; but I don't know, Sir. General — Well, Sir, perhaps I car teach you. Now, Sir, what is the name of that gentleman who had taken the oath, and while coming out of the Custom House with you, made the remark that he "would like to spit upon the Northern Yankees?' Mr. A.— Mr. Charles Reid. I declined to answer on my former examination, be- cause I had not his consent to tell, Sir; but since that, I have seen him, and he has given me his consent to mention his name. General — Where is Mr. Reid? Mr. A.— He is in Norfolk. General — (to an aid) — Telegraph to Colonel Weldon, provost-marshal, Nor- folk, to arrest Mr. Charles Reid and send him here. He lives on Main street. General — He stated that as he came out from taking the oath? Mr. A.— Yes, Sir. General — With the oath fresh on his lips and the words hardly dry in his mouth, he said he " wanted to spit in the face of the Northern Yankees ! " Mr. A.— Well, General, he took it with the same view as I did. General — I agree to that, Sir. Mr. A. — I meant to say — General — Stop, Sir, I don't like to be insulted. You said, Sir, that that infernal 146 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE EEBELLION, secessionist wanted to spit in the faces of loyal men of this Union, and that yon took the oath with the same view as he did, or rather he took it with the same view that yon did — it makes no difference which. I agree, Sir, that you did. I have treated you, Sir, during this interview, with pro- priety and courtesy up to this moment, and yet you, Sir, here tell me, in order to clear this vile wretch, who shall be pun- ished as he deserves, that you took the oath to my Government with the same view that he did. Mr. A. — Well, Sir, it was a mortifying fact to confess that we were a conquered people, and it was the irritation growing out of that fact. General — You have not helped it, Sir. You had not better go on in that direction any further, Sir, for your own sake. Now, Sir, while you did preach a very virulent sermon upon " The Victory of Manassas," at the recommendation of the Confederate Congress, have you ever since preached in your pulpit a sermon favorable to the Union cause, or one that would be likely to please the loyal, and displease the dis- loyal? Mr. A. — No, Sir, I never have. After some further sharp questioning, the examination was continued and con- cluded as follows: General — You said you looked upon the hanging of John Brown as just and right, because he interfered with the peace of the country. Mr. A.— Yes, Sir. General — Very good, Sir. Now, then, would you look upon the hanging of prom- inent rebels, Jefferson Davis, for instance, as just and right? You know that, the rebels have 'interfered with the peace of the country' and have caused rivers of blood to flow where John Brown only caused pints. What do you say to that? Mr. A. — I would not, Sir. General — Are your sympathies with the Union or the Confederate cause? Mr. A. — With the Confederates. The examination was terminated by the following order from the General : " Make an order that this man be com- mitted to the guard-house in close confine- ment, there to remain until further orders ; and send a copy of this examination to the officer in command there." A "Long-" Portrait. Some curious reminiscences attach to the career of Alexander Long, of Ohio, whose well-known pro-southern speech and course in Congi-ess, during the war, raised him to such bad eminence. He was a candidate for Congress dur- ing the dark days of 1862, when McClel- lan retreated from the Peninsula, when Pope transferred his head-quarters from the saddle to the fortifications at Wash- ington, and when Kirby Smith was be- sieging Cincinnati — Alexander's home. He was wonderfully patriotic ; was a mem- ber of the military committee of Hamil- ton County, and gave liberally toward the payment of bounty for recruits ; he made speeches urging men to enlist in the glo- rious cause .of his country ; talked war, and declared he was prepared to act war, if his bleeding country demanded such a sacrifice ; and, by way of earnest, induced a young law partner to enter the army ; he went around among his religious breth- ren — for Alexander the Long was a de- voted member of the church — and urged them to support him from personal con- siderations, as he was as good a war man as his competitor — Gurley, the then sit- ting member. He held tickets all day at the polls in his own Ward — the Eighth — in Cincin- nati ; and persistently importuned all his friends and acquaintances to vote for him, pledging his word that he was for the sup- pression of the Rebellion at all hazards, and declaring that to compromise with traitors would be dishonorable in the high' est degree. Gurley had many enemies among mem- bers of his osvn party, and the consequence PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 147 was that Alexander the Long overreached his rival, and was accredited a Represent- ative from the lid Congressional District of Cincinnati, by a majority of a little ris- ing one hundred votes out of a poll of sixteen thousand. A few days after his election, a good brother in Alexander's church, Avho had always been a Republican, but who had voted for him out of personal considera- tions, upon solicitation, and a pledge that he was a good war man, called upon him to offer congratulations. Alexander prof- fered his hand, and vouchsafed one of his best smiles ; but ha was a little horrified when adced something about his views relative to the details of the war. '• I had better not talk toith you" said he ; "you are for war — I for peace ; we can't agree, and, as brethren in the church, we should, not quarrel" The ' brother ' left the Congressman, feeling that he had been completely sold, '•lid conveyed the intelligence to others, who, like himself, had been deceived; and they all resolved that never again should personal considerations induce them to vote for a doubtful candidate. The result was, that at the succeeding election for Governor, Brough, the straight Republi- can candidate, carried the District by about seven thousand majority. Chronicles of a Railway Trip. The ride over the Great Western road was amusingly diversified one day by the mouthing-; and antics of a big-whiskered, French-brogue jackanapes, who claimed to be a Southerner, and, of course, a rebel. He met his match, however, and a big dog under the wagon to spare, in the person of a plain, intelligent looking, and gentle- manly-appearing farmer from near Pon- tiac, Michigan. The " lordly Southron " opened the ball with the farmer, by leading off in a " for- ward two " movement upon the subject of the rebellion. The farmer sat directly be- hind the Southron, and the latter being anxious to know what " you Yankees think of us rebels," the farmer retorted by as- suring him that " we think you are a mis- erable set of rascals, and we mean to clean you out." This of course roused the ire of ye rebel, and he began to make a lusty display of tongue and muscle, — brandish- ing his arms wildly, pulling off his over- coat, advancing and then falling back gro- tesque^, and exhausting the rebel vocab- ulary of tirade and insult. The Michi- gander remained all the while as calm and composed as Bunker Hill monument, and although some of the occupants of the car were for holding back the French rebel, yet Michigan bade them let him advance just as soon as he pleased, or in any shape he pleased. Finding that bluff wouldn't win, the Frenchman began to plead that the sym- pathy of the car was against him, but boastingly said : " I' 1 be d — d if you can crush me, any more than Abe Lincoln and the d — d Yankees can crush the Southern Confede- racy." The old game of injured innocence and Northern cruelty here began to manifest itself, but it wouldn't work in the least. The Michigander carried too many Colum- biads for the chivalry, and beat him on every tack he took — muscle, cut-and- thrust argument, and every other way. Frenchy insisted that he must whip some- body, even after he had blown off two or three times, and apparently got cooled down to milk heat — a new degree of Fah- renheit, indicating a milk and water state of mental temperature. Michigan put a poser to him by inquiring : " If you are so full of fight, why don't you go back South, and help your friends out of their troubles ! " Frenchy said he had been in the South- ern service for fifteen months, and became so enfeebled that he was dischai'ged. (He presented a '■feeble' picture, he did!) Michigan assured him that from appear- ances he had thoroughly recuperated, and 148 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. as he was so full of fight, he ought to go back again now, and re-enter the service, where he could have all the chance he wanted, to whip somebody. Frenchy couldn't stand this kind of ' lip,' and so lie culminated all the mean things that he could think of, by venting forth the fol- lowing against his Michigan friend : " My opinion of you is that you are a — miserable, ranting, black-hearted Yankee abolitionist." " My opinion of you is," retorted Mich- igan, " that you are a sneaking, cowardly rebel, and a God-forsaken man-stealer, and a thief" (accent particularly heavy on the last noun.) " Right ! " " right ! " exclaimed several who were within the car. The sympathy was evidently with Michigan, and Frenchy saw it and had to wilt. A spruce-looking little fellow ap- proached Frenchy after the worst of the storm was over, and informing him that he was on his way to join the Federal Army, and was anxious to obtain recruits, made a vigorous appeal to Frenchy to go with him and join our army, promising him a handsome bounty, and a splendid chance for a fight. This was the last feather up- on the camel's back, and it broke Frenchy " clean down." Billy Shelton, the Martyr Patriot Boy. The sway of the rebels in East Ten- nessee was characterized by a trail of blood which flowed from the veins of men, women and children alike. The case of poor little Billy Shelton, the patriot mar- tyr boy, will never cease to be remem- bered and wept over by every true Union heart. He was but a mere child, only twelve years old, but with five others was ordered to kneel and receive the assas- sin's fire. He implored the men not to shoot him in the face. " You have killed my father and brothers," said he^ "you have shot my father in the face ; do not shoot me in the face ! " He covered his face with his hands. The soldiers received the order to fire, and five more fell. Poor little Billy was shot in both arms. He then ran to an officer, clasped him around the legs, and besought him to spare his life : " You have killed my old father and my three brothers ; you have shot me in both arms — I forgive you all this — I can get well. Let me go home to my mother and sisters." His appeal was dis- regarded. The little boy was dragged to the place of execution ; again the stern word " Fire ! " was given, and he fell dead, eight balls having entered his body. ♦ Memorable Interview at the White House. As a bit of political history that will always stand connected with the great money crisis during the rebellion, the change in the Treasury department caused by the resignation of Secretary Chase, may here be noticed, especially in its per- sonal developments, showing that ' all men are but mortal.' The President was very low-spirited on Thursday — the day on which he sent in the nomination of Dave Tod. The feel- ing, whether well-founded or not, was uni- versal in Congress, that for such a man to succeed Mr. Chase was ruinous to the fi- nances. On Thursday night Gov. Tod sent his declination by telegraph — the same as it was received by him. Mr. Lincoln went to bed upon it, and, as he said, before morning he was satisfied that Pitt Fessenden was the man. Early Fri- day he ordered the nomination to be made out, and Major Hay took it down to the Senate. Only five minutes after he had left, Senator Fessenden entered the Presi- dential apartment and was soon discussing the " situation." Mr. Lincoln did not tell him what he had done, but discussed Mr. Chase's resignation for a short time and then said : "Mr. Fessenden, I have made a new nomination this morning which I trust you will approve ; I have sent your own name in!" PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC, 149 The Senator was greatly surprised and amazed. He replied: '* You must recall it ; you can overtake Hay with a messenger now if you will. Please send for him at once for I can not possibly undertake it. My health will not permit me to think of it for a mo- ment." But the President was firm. "You must take it," he said, and later in the day he sent word as follows : u Tell Fes- senden to stick." Meantime telegrams from all parts of the country came pour- ing in upon him, congratulating him upon his admirable selection. At night Mr. Lincoln was in fine spirits, and he ex- claimed to Mr. Seward who was present : " The Lord has never yet deserted me, and I did not believe he would this time ! " The strain which the Ship of State suffered during this sudden financial com- plication will not be forgotten. place now, Massa John ; you is in a tight place now ! Good bye, Massa John ! " and Jim swung away at his usual limping gait. Master and Servant meeting 1 in a Strange Place. There is a quaint old negro to be seen every day in the City Building Park, Cin- cinnati, who is known and called by the name of James Morgan. He acts as a sort of Cerberus of the gates, or kind of Major Domo of the grounds, sprinkling water upon the grass Avhen needed, and clearing away the litter that accumulates in the paths. Well, James was originally a slave to the father of Morgan, the rebel chief, but some years ago he contrived to make his escape, and found his way to Cincinnati, where he has lived ever since. Hearing that his young master — the noto- rious guerilla Morgan — was in the city prison, he made application to the Chief of Police to see him, and was admitted. The General treated him Avarmly, shook hands with him, and congratulated him upon his having his freedom. "Yes, Massa John," broke in Jim, " you mout hab yourn too, if you hadn't gwine in to broke up de Union ; but you is in a tight Beauty of Nullification and of the Guillotine. Napoleon, on one occasion, when speak- ing of the French Revolution, called it ' natre belle revolution' This will do to go along with a little occurrence in 1835, soon after the excited times of nullifica- tion. Mr. Calhoun, in a conversation with Senator — then Judge — Butler, repeatedly called nullification a ' beautiful remedy.' The assertion of State sovereignty, against an unconstitutional act of Congress, ap- peared beautiful in the eyes of Mr. Cal- houn. "Mr. Calhoun," replied Judge Butler, " I am as determined a nullifer as any one, and I am as ready to go as far in the as- sertion of State sovereignty as you can possibly be ;" (Judge Butler and many others had, indeed, preceded Mr. Calhoun in the open avowal of nullification,) but, to save my life, I cannot see the beauty of it. Nullification is all right, but as to its being beautiful that is another thing. It is not unreasonable to suppose that a man might have replied to Napoleon — " Sire, whatever the French revolution may have effected, leaving aside all dis- cussions of this sort — to save my life, your Majesty, as to the beauty of the guillotine, I have never been able to see that ! " Stanton and the "Old General." Secretary Stanton will be recognized by all who ever saw him when in his prime, by the following portrait : Stout, thick-set, about five feet eight inches high ; hair and beard very black, the latter worn thick and long ; head set very erect on his shoulders — if anything a little thrown back ; face round and solid in expression, with blunt features ; address prompt and practical — voice full, distinct and unmusi- cal. He never studied the art of pleasing and this left him without the gift of pay 150 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, ing compliments in conversation. An ex- hibition of his thoughtlessness in this re- gard was exhibited when the officers of the army called to pay their respects to him on his induction into the War De- partment. An officer well sprinkled with gray, but yet with quite a vigorous step and clear eye, was presented to Mr. Stan- ton. The latter recognized him, and shook him warmly by the hand, saying : " I re- member you well. I saw you many years ago, when you were in the prime of life, and I was a little boy about so high," — and the new Secretary measured with his hand, as he said this, an imaginary lad of not over ten years old. The sturdy old General turned and walked off without a word in reply, evidently not disposed to regard himself so ' old' as Mr. Stanton's remarks would have implied. Quality of Secessionist Oaths. The following conversation, which oc- curred not far from Nashville, Tenn., will give some idea of the estimation in which the oath of allegiance to the United States is held by many of the chivalry. A wealthy secessionist, of high social posi- tion, was summoned as a witness before a military board : Officer. — Are you a loyal man ? Secessionist. — I have taken the oath. Off. — Are you a friend to the Federal Government ? Secess. — I cannot say that I am. Off. — Well, then, are you a friend of the Southern Confederacy? Secess. — Yes, I am. Offi — And you want its armies to whip ours ? Secess. — I have always lived in the South ; all my property is here, I have sons in the Confederate army, and it is natural that I should have a desire for our side to succeed. Offi. — So you want the Confederacy to succeed ? Secess. — Yes, I do. Offi. — Well, Sir, you have a strange misconception of your oath of allegiance. You have solemnly sworn to support the United States, and now you avow that you are for the Rebel Confederacy. This is nothing but perjury. I shall have to commit you for trial. Backing: the Commander-in-Chief. The story seems to have become quite a favorite one, that a well known Senator took it into his head to have a special in» terview with the President, in order to ask a change in a certain particular, relative to military operations. The President agreed that it was a good one, and promised that he would make it. Some time, however, intervened, and nothing was done, when the Senator again visited the executive mansion, and accosted the President with, " Well, I see you have not made the change.' " No, Sir, General Halleck woidd not consent." " Weli, then, why don't you dispose of Halleck, if he is al- ways in the way ? " " Well," said the President, " the fact is, the man who has no friends should be taken care of." The Senator retired, appreciating the Presi- dent's dry compliment to the Commander- in-Chief. Big- Job in Prospect. A brisk and spirited dialogue was that which took place between an East Tennes- seean loyalist and a Mississippi ' Butter- nut' who had been taken prisoner and brought into Federal custody. " What do you expect to do with us Southerners ? " asked the Mississippian. " Why, we mean to whip you, Sir ; we mean to whip you badly," replied the loy- alist. " But if you are so sure you can whip us, why is it that you have to call in the niggers to help you out of the scrape ? " " Why, our white men are too valuable to risk in battles against rebels. We want to save 'em, Sir ! But niggers are plenty good enough to shoot traitors with. We mean to save our white folks, and PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC 151 vrhip you, like the very devil, with your own niggers. And the niggers will do the job up brown. Before the war is over, they will knock the handsights off you, and we intend to stand by and see the job w^ll done!" * Garrison at the Grave of Calhoun. One of the most impressive scenes — be- cause so eminently historical — growing out of the war of the rebellion, was that of William Lloyd Garrison, the life-long Abolition Agitator, upon whose head a price in southern gold had for more than a quarter of a century rested, standing at the grave of the great Apostle of Slavery and Secession, John C. Calhoun. It was on the very morning, too, April fifteenth, 18G5, when Abraham Lincoln died. The cemetery where the mighty senator's re- mains repose is a small one, opposite St. Philip's church, in the heart of the city of Charleston ; and the monument of the great advocate of slavery and nullification is built of brick and covered with a large, plain slab of marble, inscribed' with the simple name — Calhoun. He who sleeps beneath was the very soul of the " pecul- iar institution," when Garrison began his intense warfare against it. The latter had now lived to see the power of his great antagonist pass away, and just as the illustrious Emancipator, who gave to the system its final blow, was breathing his last, Garrison laid his hand upon the monument before him, and said, impres- sively, " Down into a deeper grave than this, slavery has gone, and for it there is no resurrection." It was a scene, take it for all in all, that a painter might well attempt to reproduce upon canvass. War Dispatches in Church. Having been requested by President Lincoln to proceed to Fort Sumter, and deliver an oration on the fourteenth of April, 1865, at the unfurling of the na- tional flag once more over that renowned spot, Rev. Henry Ward Beecher gave 10 notice of the fact from his pulpit, on the Sabbath previous, hi the following words : " I am called to accompany the mem- bers of the Government and the officers of the army, as they go to lift again, over the ruins of Fort Sumter, our national ensign. At other times, when the pros- pect of any such mission seemed to me almost visionary — remote, certainly — I spoke of it with some jubilation ; but as the thing itself draws near, it comes with solemn shadows to me. And the sense of the magnitude of the work that seem- ingly, then, like a girdle, will have clasped itself upon this nation, and buckled itself in peace, so impresses me, that the great- ness of the mission seems such that, though I am unaccustomed to tremor, my soul trembles within me. There will be many that will go to participate in that solemn and wonderful event in the history of this people ; and I should be sorry if there was one that went with any other feeling than that of the most profound Christian patriotism. And if any man goes, supposing that he accompanies me upon an errand of triumph and exaltation over a fallen foe, he does not know the first letter of my feelings. For I go as a brother, to say to brethren misled, ' I ap- peal to you from yourselves, and from the clay of your information to the better day of your knowledge.' I go, not to triumph over the South, but to say to them, ' Breth- ren, after four long years of blood and darkness, we bring back to you the same hearts of love that you smote at in the beginning of this conflict, and are your brethren still, if ye will.' If there be any minded in that spirit, let them go ; and those that may not go, let them tarry at home, praying the blessing of God to rest, not upon the North, but upon this whole undivided land." When he had closed the sermon of the morning — the subject of which was, the Body-man and the Soul-man, or, the Old Man and the New Man, — and sat down. 152 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. and when the singing was about to com- mence, Mr. Beecher rose and said — " Stop ! Turn to ' America.' We will sing that; and I will read a telegraphic dispatch that I have just received, while you are finding the place ! " The reading of the dispatch — which was from the Secretary of War to Mr. Beecher, and which announced the trium- phant success of the National forces under General Grant — was greeted with pro- longed and enthu- siastic applause. — When the excite- ment, which was very intense, had subsided, and quiet was restored, Mr. Beecher said : — s= " The Old Man is ] being conquered, and the New Man of Liberty is going | to rule after this.'' -J America Mas then = sung with a depth of feeling such as the occasion may be supposed to have inspired, after which the congregation was dismissed, by the pastor, with these words : " In the name of Almighty God, of Justice, and of Humanity, now, men, go, and be worthy of your country ! " " Es this the Provo's offis ?" He was dressed in brown homespun, and had an old white wool hat on his head, tied on with a handkerchief, and he leaned on a brown stick. " Es this the Provo's offis ? I want a pass." Some one here attempted to explain to the old gentleman that he was in the wrong shop ; but the old fellow, who was a little deaf, it seems, mistook this as a Accommodating Himself to Circumstances. Immediately after the battle of Prairie Grove, some rebel officers of rank were sent up to Cane Hill, Arkansas, to nego- tiate for exchange of prisoners. It was during their visit that the amusing scene narrated below occurred : In a small building close on the only street of that crooked village, three Con- federate officers, in their best gray uniform, were sitting on one side of a table, and three Federal officers, in blue, on the other. An old gray-headed and gray-bearded man came to the door, and incontinently walked in, with the query — Accommodating Himself to Circumstances. hesitation to give him what he wanted. " I'm a good l'yal citizen. I've got my pertection papers. I've ben to get paid for my forage. It's all right." There was a slight inclination to laugh by sevei'al present; but the old gentleman continued to make the most earnest pro- testations as to his " l'yalty." " Look here, my friend," said Colonel W , with a smile, " you had better take care what you say about loyalty. Look at these gentlemen" — pointing over the table — " don't you see they are Southern officers ? " The old man's hand trembled as he now adjusted a dilapidated pair of spec- tacles to his eyes, and closely exam- ined the gray uniforms with the velvet collars and brass stars. His hands trem- bled more violently. For the time being he seemed to forget the place and surround* PATRIOTIC, POLITICAL, CIVIL, JUDICIAL, ETC. 153 ings in his fear and bewilderment. At last, in great distress, he turned to the gentlemen, and began to stammer out his explanations : " Well, gentlemen, I didn't think. I — I didn't mean any thing. I've allers ben a Southern man. I've jest got one son, and he's with Marmaduke. The only other man grown that's lit for sarvice is my darter's husband and he's with Rec- tor, and — and — " " Hold on, old fellow ! " cried Colonel W , " what about your being a loyal citizen?" " Will you inform me," asked Colonel P , who sat next to Colonel W , " who paid you for your forage ? " The old man turned to look at t'other side of the table. Again he adjusted his spectacles, and looked at the blue coats, and in an agony of distress he took off his spectacles and his handkerchief and hat, and while he leaned on both hands on the table, the tears ran down the wrinkles of his old face. "Well, well, gentlemen," he at last found words to say, " you go on an' fight it out among yourselves. I can live in any government." Important "Witness on the Stand. In a council held in the city of Charles- ton, just preceding the attack on Fort Sumter, two commissioners were appointed to go to Washington ; one on the part of the army from Fort Sumter, and one on the part of the Confederates. The Lieu- tenant who was designated to go for the Loyalists said it seemed to him that it would be of little use for him to go, as his opinion was immovably fixed in favor of maintaining the government in whose ser- vice he was employed. Then Governor Pickens took him aside, detaining, for an hour and a half, the railroad train that was to convey them on their errand. He opened to him the whole plan and secret of the Southern conspiracy, and said to him, distinctly and repeatedly — for it was needful, he said, to lay aside disguises, — that the South had never been wronged, and that all their pretences of grievance in the matter of tariffs, or anything else, were invalid. " But," said Governor Pickens, " we must carry the people with us ; and we allege these things, as all statesmen do many things that they do not believe, be- cause they are the only instruments by which the people can be managed." Governor Pickens then and there de- clared that the two sections of country were so antagonistic in ideas and policies that they could not live together, — that it was foreordained that northern and south- ern men must keep apart on accoimt of differences in ideas and policies, and that all the pretences of the South about wrongs suffered were but pretences, as they very well knew. Brief but Eventful History. The history of a Federal soldier, named Robert Lane, who entered the service as a private in Loomis's battery, has some features which characterize it as one of extraordinary qualities. Briefly summed up, Lane's chronicles, military and other- wise, may be given as follows: After being a member of the above-named com- pany nearly a year, he was discharged for physical disability. He then returned to the city of Detroit, where, however, his stay was limited, and the next heard of him he was in Nashville, connected Avith some sutler. Shortly after this he was acting as chief clown in a circus — swal- lowed the sword, and performed other gastronomic feats of more or less wonder- fid nature. After this, according to re- port, he entered a Kentucky regiment of cavalry, but soon closed his connection with this troop, whether by discharge or desertion is not known. When next heard from he was a sergeant in an Indiana regi- ment of Infantry, from which he deserted to enlist in another, in which greater boun- ties were paid. Another regiment, offer- 154 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. ino - a still higher bonus, induced him to risk the chances again. He did so, and the next heard of him he was a prisoner in the Indiana penitentiary, awaiting court martial for his numerous enlistments. The trial resulted in conviction, and he was sentenced to be shot. The extreme penalty, however, was commuted by the President to one year's hard labor with chain and ball. Rather Dcmbtful Allegiance. The capture of the Confederate General Jeff Thompson revived many anecdotes of his eccentricities of speech and man- ner. The General is a great talker, and is bound to tell a good thing, no matter whom it hits. On his arrival at Pilot Knob, Missouri, as a prisoner, he had a long conversation witli General Fisk, the commander at that post. Jeff swore on his honor that the Confederacy was a sure thing, bound to succeed, and all that. He continued : " But confound these fellows in south-east Missouri ! When I was cavorting around Bird's Point two years ago they were all friendly enough ; but as I came through the country here as a pris- oner,' and told a few of them that I sup- posed they were right yet, hang me if they didn't have to stop and think which oath of allegiance they took last ! " No Heart in the Cause. A young man, about twenty years of age, of marked intelligence and pleasing address, made his appearance one day in Louisville, as a refugee from the South, and from the rebel army, into whose ser- vice he had been drawn. He described himself as of wealthy parentage, and, be- fore the war, was the idolized heir of a large plantation in the vicinity of Charles- ton, South Carolina. He served nearly two years in the rebel army, but, having no heart in the cause, he concluded to break off, leave his native sunny clime) and find a home beneath the colder skies of the North. With this determination, and having but a scanty wardrobe in his possession, he bade adieu to Charleston, and set out on foot on his weary journey North. He dared not travel on the public thoroughfares, for he knew the relentless conscripting officers would not let him pass. He therefore pursued his lonely journey along unfrequented paths, often making his bed on the ground, with only the starry canopy for a covering. Weary steps lengthened into weary miles, and he finally arrived in Louisville, Kentucky, having traveled the whole of the distance, excepting about forty miles, on foot from Charleston. Wash Liitchtiter, one of Morgan's Converts. Wash Litchtiter, of Indiana, was con- verted from secesh into a warm Union man. Wash had been flogged once or twice for cheering for Jeff Davis, but he stuck to his principles. One day Morgan and his band of thieves came along, and Wash gave them a cordial welcome. He brought out all the liquor he had and treated them well ; told them how he loved the South, and hoped that the Yan- kees would be whipped out. The banditti then asked him for money. He begged off, but Morgan said, " Come, old Butter- nut, shell out; Ave. want all the spondulics you've got ! " Wash had to put his nose to the grind- stone this time, and fork over; he was however so slow about it that they pitched in and gave him a thrashing, and then carried off everything he had. Wash went in for a ' vigorous prosecution of the war' ever after, and was mighty glad when Morgan went to the State prison, where all such fellows belong. PART IL— HO! FOR THE WAR J PART SECOND. ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION— VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, COMMUTING, SUBSTITUTING, DESERTING, ETC. Noble Instances op Rallying to the Ranks, and of Enlistment among the Aged and Young; Hearings, Ludicrous and Perplexing, before the Commissioners; Raw Recruits and Eccentric Characters ; Applicants for Exemption ; Ruses and Quib- bles to Escape Duty — Strange Phenomena of Nativity, Age, and Infirmities ; Be- wildered Surgeons; Luckless Conscripts; Rare Brokerage and Bounty Dealings; Flush Purses , Hardships and Miseries ; Side-shaking Gaieties, Jests, Puns, &c, &c. " Sound, bugle, sound ! and rally round The Star-flag of the Free ! " " Lock the shop and lock the store, Chalk this down upon the door — ' We've enlistee/ for the war .' ' Put it through! " When the order came for me to join my company, sir, I was plowing in the same field in Concord where my grand- father was plowing when the British fired on the Massachusetts men at Lexington. He did not wait a minute ; and I did not, sir. — Concord (Mass.) Volunteer. I can't do anything for him, but I'll tell you what I'll do for you : In case he's drafted and gets killed,— I'll marry you myseli '— Gov. Tod, of Ohio, to an aged woman soliciting her husband' s exemption. He is my all, but I freely give him to my country.— Consent of a Maine mother for her ' only boy,'' a minor, to enlist. How does he Grow 'Em P old colored female one day approached Howard's column of Sherman's Georgia army, and entering into conversation, ex- pressed great sur- prise as to where they all came from. A wag informed her that old Lincoln had a very productive field away up North, where he raised them at the rate of a million per year. Turn- ing up her white eyes in blank astonish- ment, she exclaimed: — '* For de Lord's sake, you don't say so ! How does he grow 'em ? " '• Oh," was the reply, " that is very sim- ple. He gathers up all the dead rebels from the battle fields, plants them down in Massachusetts — after a while they be- gin to sprout, and the moment they see a chicken they make for it, when Lincoln's provost guard catches them and grafts them into the army." " Bless ye, say so ! And are you 'uns dead rebels ? " replied the bewildered creature, completely transfixed to the spot where she stood. " No, we used to be, but we're now live Yankees. I'm Bishop Polk, who preached down here in Dixie." " De debil you aire ! " exclaimed the now excited wench — " and what are you doin' here ? Come after Misses Bishop and de chilen ? " " No the children ! " was the profane reply ; " we've come to assist in whaling out of Jeff Davis." "You'll hab to cotch him fust," was the 158 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. quick response; "guess it's done gone job." " Well, we'll see," said the soldier ; "it's a race between us and the devil, and may be O'd Nick will win the heat." " How does he grow 'em'" " Should'nt wonder. Dis nigger don't care neder," remarked the dusky matron, as she right-wheeled aud double-quicked it back to the house. Old Men Turning Out when , England Pitches In. The attention of travelers on one of the Western railroads was considerably at- tracted, one day, by the appearance of a rather oldish man among a company of recruits for the Seventeenth (Irish) Wis- consin regiment, who were on board the cars, on the way to camp ; he gave his name, as follows : — " My name is Rufus Brock way, and I am in the seventieth year of my age. I am a. Yankee from the State of New Hampshire ; was a volunteer in the last war with England for nearly three years. I have served under Gens. Izard, McNeil, and Macomb, being transferred from one command to another, as the circumstances then required. I was at the battle of Plattsburg, at the battle of French Creek in Canada, and at the battle of Chateau- gay, on the fourteenth day of October, 1813, and was present at the surreuder of McDonough. I am now a farmer, in the town of Bea- ver Dam, Dodge county, and, with my son, the owner of three hundred acres of land ; my son was a volunteer in the Fed- eral army at the battle of Bull Run, had his nose badly barked and his hips broken in and disabled for life, by a charge of the rebel cavalry, and now I am going to see if the rebels can bark the old man's nose. I tell you (said the old man,) if Eng- land pitches in, you'll see a great many old men like me turning out, but the great- est of my fears is, that I shall not be per- mitted to take an active part in the present war." It was the opinion entertained by all those Avho listened to the old man's re- marks, that, if he ever should be '* per- mitted" to be in an engagement with the enemy, he would " take an active part," and not be found to have received any wound in the back, — but on the " nose " side, rather. Two Desertions— A Double Tragedy. A striking and most sad illustration of the effects of civil war in the domestic and atfectional sphere is that which the follow- ing event discloses. A lady had resided with an only daughter for many years in Alexandria. In the course of time, a mutual friend introduced a young gentle- man of his acquaintance, belonging to Richmond, to the family. The young peo- ple soon became quite intimate in their social relations, and, very naturally, fell in love. The parents on both sides consent- ing, the parties were betrothed, and thtf marriage day fixed for the fourth of July. In the meantime, however, the Virginians were called upon to decide on which side they would range themselves in the great political and military conflict then spread- ing its dark wings over the land. The ladies declared themselves heartily on the side of the Government, but the gentle- man joined the forces of his State. Such VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 159 was the rapid and widening progress of events, that no opportunity was afforded for any interchange of sentiments between the young folks, or anything settled as to their future movements. Matters thus re- mained till the fourth of July, when, ex- actly within an hour of the time originally fixed for the marriage, intelligence was received at the residence of the ladies that the young man had been shot by a sentry two days before, while attempting to desert and join his bride. His betrothed did not shed a tear at this sudden and overwhelm- ing information ; but, standing erect, smiled, and then remarking to her mother, "I am going to desert, too," fell to the floor, while the blood bubbled from her lips, and she was soon in the embrace of death. Jenkins's Mode of Paroling- Deserters. Notwithstanding the sympathy excited in behalf of the people of Hagerstown, at the time of the rebel raid upon them, some of the inhabitants were observed to receive the rebels with joy, spreading before them the best to be obtained for the morning meal. On Tuesday, about noon, a lieutenant and five men, wearing the uniform of Un- ion soldiers, crept out of some of the houses of the town where they had been concealed, and delivered themselves up. When they made their appearance before General Jenkins, the following conversa- tion occurred : — Jenkins. — Halloa ! who are you, and where did you come from ? Lieutenant. — We belong to the Union army, or did belong to it, but we don't wish to fight any longer against our South- ern brethren ; so when our forces left here, we staid behind, and to-day we came out to he paroled. Jenkins. — What did you say about "Southern brethren?" By ! if I thought I had a twenty-fifth cousin who was as white-livered as you are, I would kill him and set him up in my barnyard to make sheep ow T n their births. I'll show you how I parole such pukes as you are. You are too miserable to be paroled in military style. So saying, he ordered a detail of six men and a sergeant — " good lusty fellows, with thick boots " — who paroled the re- creant federals to the west border of the town, where the paroling process ceased, and the detail and crowd came back highly pleased with Jenkins's mode of paroling cowards of that genus. Jenkins's military stomach was just then in poor condition for rabbit flesh. Marian and her Brave Boy in Blue. An affair which took place in connec- tion with the First regiment of Michigan engineers and mechanics, goes far to illus- trate the old and never-questioned proverb that " when a woman will, she will, depend on't,"&c. In the fall of 1861, a young man con- ceived the idea of joining the above-named regiment. He had previously formed the acquaintance of a young girl living in the same village, whose proper name was Ma- rian Green — and, in fact, became enamored of her. They were engaged to be mar- ried, and she protested against his going into the army. He, however, had made up his mind to go, and go he did. She threatened to follow, but was finally pre- vailed upon to remain at home, which, however, she only consented to do after a solemn promise that her " brave boy in blue " would ever cherish and regard her as his affianced. The following Decem- ber, Marian Green bade good-bye to her lover at Ypsilanti, having gone there to see him "off for the wars." Letters passed regularly, for months, between the parties, but Marian grew tired of being absent from her lover, and finally resolved to join him. This time she kept the matter a profound secret. An oppor- tunity was soon offered, and she set her wits to work to accomplish her long-desu ed wish. By an arrangement known only to herself and a certain surgeon, she man- 160 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. aged to enlist in a detachment that was subsequently recruited for the regiment, and in the summer of 1862, she, together with many other new recruits, joined the main organization, then engaged in rebuild- ing some bridges on the Memphis and Charleston railroad. Although Marian had informed her parents that she was going to leave home on a visit to some friends in Illinois, she was soon missed, and anxious inquiries were made concerning her prolonged ab- sence from home. No tidings of her could be learned, and the sorrow-stricken parents remained ignorant of her whereabouts un- til she suddenly made her appearance in person, having apparently enjoyed soldier life amazingly. She, owing to her boyish appearance, while with the regiment man- aged to avoid the more arduous labors in- cident to that organization, and thus was enabled to bear up under the fatigue and exertions of a soldier's life. As letters written by her lover remained unanswered, save by her parents, he be- came sad and lonely. Could she have deserted him and eloped with another, after having so frequently assured him to the contrary ? lie could not, for a moment, entertain any such idea. That she would eventually prove true to her declarations, he felt no doubt. Strange forebodings, however, crept over his mind, and so worked upon his feelings that, in the fall, he was taken sick, and was sent to the hospital. But imagine his surprise, when, after a day or two in his dreary quarters, a familiar countenance there met his anxious gaze. It was none other than the one he cher- ished so much — that of Marian Green. What transpired at the recognition of each other at that time and place may possibly be imagined, but would be difficult to de- scribe. Suffice it to say, however, that mutual explanations followed never to re- veal the discovery then and there made. Months passed on, and still Marian Gi*een remained in the hospital, kindly nursing the patients. She kept her sex a secret for a time, and would doubtless have done so for the whole term of her enlistment, had not the young man himself proved recreant to his trust. He wrote a letter to her parents, informing them of the dis- covery, and they soon found means to bring home their long-lost daughter. She was loth to depart for home, but obedience to her parents rendered it necessary that she should lose no time in doing their bid- ding, especially since her sex had been discovered. In due course of time her lover returned home, and Marian Green, learning that a portion of the regiment had been dis- charged, proceeded to Detroit, where she met the idol of her heart. A justice of the peace was soon visited, and the happy pair wei'e made one. After the ceremony, they returned home to the inland town from whence they came, with their hearts full of joy and their pockets lined with green- backs. All this Avas accomplished by Marian Green's enlistment as one of Uncle Sam's " brave boys in blue." Taken In and Done For. An entertaining affair occurred at the Provost Marshal's office in Springfield, Massachusetts, illustrating the truth of the well-known adage, " the best laid schemes o' mice and men," &c. A citizen of that place, desiring to put a representative into the grand army, bargained for one at nine hundred and fifty dollars with the brokers who hung around the office, ready to " take in and do for" any timid wight wishing to be patriotic by proxy. Two or three can- didates were examined, and rejected, and the buyer was about to withdraw in de- spair, when the brokers announced that for nine hundred and seventy-five dollars they could " stop a man " — a healthy darkey, who was on his way North, but could be induced to enlist in Springfield, for the sum named. The money was promised, and soon the VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC 161 substitute elect was produced, bearing a letter from his employer — a Captain in a returned Massachusetts regiment — to the Provost Marshal, stating that the boy, his servant, brought from Dixie, wished to go as a soldier, and that the money he re- ceived was to be placed in a savings-bank for his benefit. This philanthropy on the Captain's part met the approval of the board of enrollment, the young contraband proved to be able-bodied, and, as the sequel shows, of sound and disposing mind also. While undergoing the usual sharp ques- tioning characteristic of the Marshal's of- fice, it came out that two hundred dollars was the sum total which he was to receive, while the disinterested Captain and the brokers were graciously to pocket the dif- ference, Furthermore, he did not wish to go as " sub " for any man, but it was his delight to march and fight as a Yankee volunteer, — and draw the bounties incident thereto. He was accordingly enlisted as he wished, and when the citizen and brokers came for their expected papers, they were politely informed that the intended " sub " was already a soldier in the service of the United States. The citizen cursed his luck, the brokers gave vent to their wrath in true Flemish style, and claimed the boy to return to the man who " owned him." Property in man not being recognized in the Marshal's office, he was not given up, and the brokers went their way, sadder but wiser men, threatening never to bring another " sub" to that office till " this mat- ter was made right." The lofty indigna- tion of the Captain on ascertaining the failure of his nice little project for filling his purse, would have overwhelmed any smaller men than those same United States officials', and the depth of his patriotism was sounded when he declared that he would not have allowed his servant to en- list had he been informed of the inten- tion. The new recruit was jubilant over his unexpected good fortune, and, determined to make the most of his opportunities, elected to go as a volunteer for one of the wards of the city, receiving thereby the ward and city bounties, which, with the State and Government bounties, made him up a purse of nearly one thousand dollars. Could he have now found a dark-skinned beauty, willing to have foregone the pleas- ures of honey-moon, he would have en tered into partnership, sharing fame and fortune, for the benefit of the State aid that a married man is entitled to. The last that was seen of the shrewd volunteer, he was marching through Boston with his " knapsack strapped upon his back," having given to his former master and Captain a generous gratuity as a " memento nigri." All a Mother Can Do. At the time of the first call for voluft teers to strike down the rebellion, a mn- ti'only lady, accompanied by her son, a fine youth of about nineteen years, entered a gun-store on Broadway, New York, and purchased a full outfit for him. Selecting the best weapons and other articles for a soldier's use, that could be found in the store, she paid the bill, remarking, with evident emotion, " This, my son, is all that I can do. I have given you up to serve your country, and may God go with you ! It is all a mother can do." The scene at- tracted considerable attention, and tearful eyes followed that patriotic mother and her son, as they departed from the place. Maiden, Wife, "Volunteer and "Widow- Love and Patriotism. ' An undaunted woman was Mary Owens. This remarkable person accompanied her husband to the army, fought by his side until he fell by the hand of his country's enemy, and then returned home in full uniform, to tell the adventurous tale of her devotion and sufferings. She was hi the service eighteen months, took part in three battles, and was wounded twice, — first in the face above the right eye, and then in her ann ; this required her to be taken tc the hospital, where she was obliged to con- 162 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, fess her true sex and the circumstances of her being in the ranks. She had en- listed in the town of Danville, Montour county, Pennsylvania, under the name of John Evans, and gave as her reason for such a romantic and hazardous undertak- ing, the fact that her father was uncom- promising in his hostility to her marriage Lore aud Patriotism. with Mr. Owens, threatening violence in case she disobeyed his commands ; where- upon, after having been secretly married, she donned the United States uniform, en- listed in the same company with her hus- band, endured all the hardships of the camp, and the dangers of tbe field, saw her husband fall dead by her side, and return- ed home wounded and a widow — young, rather pretty, and, of course, the heroine of the neighborhood. Though of Welsh parentage, she was a genuine Yankee in patriotism and " smartness." • Got the Point Twisted Around "Wrong-. A rural conscript appeared before the Eastern Board of Enrolment, Providence, Rhode Island, and desired to be exempted forthwith, in order that he might return to his country home. " What are your claims ? " demanded the Doctor. '■'■I'm en- tirely dependent upon my mother for sup- t ortf" was the innocent reply, Where- upon, thus the Doctor rejoined, while a smile faintly illumined the face of the Board : " I am happy to assure you, my honest-hearted friend, that the Govern- ment is prepared at once to relieve your mother of so unsuitable a burden, and as- sume your entire charge and expenses during the next three years, without the slightest recourse to the maternal fount for support or succor." The young draftee appeared a little bewildered, and, referring to the papers to ascertain what was the matter, found that the humanitarian clause in the Enrolment Act was not precisely in his favor, though he had thought it to be. He had innocently got the point twisted round just contrary to its word and intent, and found, greatly to his — 'satisfaction,' that he was just the kind of young buck to do his country a favor. No Fancy for Salt Pork, Hard Tack, and Iffinie Bullets. Katie Maxwell, with as loyal a spirit in her bosom as ever an American maiden owned, sat knitting alone in the parlor one evening ; she heard the bell ring, and knew by the sound whose hand had pulled the wire. Her fingers grew unsteady, and she began to drop stitches. So she let the stocking upon which she was at work fall into her lap. She sat very still now, her heart beating strongly. The heavy tread of George Mason was in the hall. Then the door opened, and the young man en- tered. She did not rise. In fact, so strong was her inward disturbance that she felt the necessity for remaining as ex- ternally quiet as possible, in order to keep from betraying her actual state of mind- " Good evening," said Mason, almost gaily, as he stepped into the room. Then pausing suddenly, and lifting both hands in mock surprise, he exclaimed, "Blue yarn and soldiers' stockings- blue yarn and soldiers' stockings ! Oh, Katie Maxwell!" Katie did not move nor reply. Her heart was fluttering when he came in, but VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 163 in an instant it regained an even beat. There was more in Lis tone even than in his words. The clear^ strong eyes were on his face. " Ha ! ha ! " he laughed, gaily, now ad- vancing until he had come within a few feet of the maiden. Then she rose and moved back a pace or two, with a strange, cold dignity of manner that surprised her visitor. " "What a good actress you would make ! " he said, still speaking lightly, for he did not think her in earnest. "A Goddess of Liberty ! Here is my cane ; raise your stocking and the representation will be perfect." " I am not acting, George." She spoke with an air of severity that sobered him. "You are not?". " No ; I cautioned you this morning about trifling with things which should be held out of the region of trifling," she answered steadily ; " If you are not suffi- ciently inspired with love of country to lift an arm in her defense, don't, I pray you, hinder, with light words even, the feeble service that a woman's hands may render. I am not a man, and can not, therefore, fight for liberty and good gov- ernment, but what I am able to do I am doing from a state of mind that is hurt by levity. I am in earnest ; if you are not, it is time that you looked down into your heart and made some effort to under- stand its springs of action. You are of man's estate, you are in good health, you are not trammeled by any legal or social hindrances. Why, then, are you not in the field, George Mason ? I have asked myself a hundred times since morning this question, and can reach no satisfactory answer." Katie Maxwell stood before the young man like one inspired, her eyes flashing, her face in a glow, her lips firmly set but arched, her slender form drawn up to its full height, almost imperiously. " In the field ! " he said in astonishment, and not without confusion of manner. " Yes, in the field ! in arms for your country ! " He shrugged his shoulders with an affected indifference that was mingled with something of contempt, saying blandly — for he did not give himself space to re- flect— " I've no particular fancy for salt pork, hard tack, and Minie bullets." "Nor I for coivards/ " exclaimed Katie, borne away by her feelings; and she pointed sternly to the door. The young man went out. As she shut the door she sank into the chair from which she had arisen, weak and quivering. The blue yarn stocking did not grow un- der her hand that night ; but her fingers moved with unwearied diligence through all the next day, and a soldier's sock, thick, and soft, and warm, was laid beside her father's plate when he came to the even- ing meal. Very sweet were the approv- ing sentences that fell from his lips, and they had balm in them for the pain which had wrought at her heart for many hours. For Life, if the Nation will Take Me. On the Sunday afternoon after the fall of Fort Sumter, Theodore Winthrop was walking with a friend in the woods upon Staten Island, near his home. No man could have a clearer conception of the significance of that event. An American in the noblest sense, he felt that the time had come in which the nation's liberties could be maintained only as they were Avon. " To-morrow," said his friend, " we shall have a proclamation from the Presi- dent." " Then to-morrow," he answered, I shall enlist. I wish to enroll myself at once in the police of the nation, and for life, if the nation will take me. I do not see that I can put myself — experience and character — to any more useful use." In this spirit he acted, and such was his evident ability that in a month he was aid 164 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION, and military secretary to General Butler, and held at bis disposal a first lieutenancy in the army. He lost his life in the expe- dition that left Fort Monroe- June 9, 1861, at Bethel, the rebel riflemen stating that they several times took deliberate aim at him, as he was all the time conspicuous at the head of the advancing Federal troops, loudly cheering them on to the assault He was shot in the side. Making- a Family Matter of It. Before the departure of the Fourteenth Brooklyn regiment for the seat of war, a man who carried on- a blacksmith shop in connection with two of his own sons, went to head-quarters and concluded to enlist. He said that he could leave the blacksmith business in the hands of the boys — "he could'nt stand it any longer, and go he must." He was accepted. Next day down came the oldest of the boys. The blacksmith business " wasn't very drivin', and he guessed John would take care of it." " Well," said the old man, " go it." And the oldest son went it. But the day following, John made his appearance. He felt lonesome, and had shut up the shop. The father remonstrated, but the boy would enlist, and enlist he did. Now the old gentleman had two more sons, who " worked the farm," near Flushing. The military fever seems to have run in the family, for no sooner had the father and the two older brothers enlisted, than the younger sons came in for a like purpose. The father Avas a man of few Avords, but he said that he " would'nt stand that any- how." The blacksmithing business might go to the d — 1, but the farm must be looked after. So the boys were sent home. Pres ently one of them re-appeared. They had concluded, on the whole, that one could manage the farm, and had tossed up to see who should go with the Fourteenth, and he had Avon the chance. This arrangement Avas finally and definitely agreed to. But lo ! on the day of departure the last boy of the family Avas on hand to join, and on foot for marching. The old man Avas someAvhat puzzled to knoAv what possible arrangement could have been made which AA T ould allow all of the family to go, but the explanation of the boy solved the diffi- culty. " Father, said he, with a confi- dential chuckle in the old man's ear, " the fact is, I've let the farm on shares ! " Father and four sons went with the Four- teenth regiment. Something- to Cogitate Upon. The movements of the Mackerel Brig- ade have engaged to such an extent the pen of that eminent historiographer, Mr. Kerr, that no additional fact need be stated in speaking of their interest and importance with reference to the Avar, in which the brigade played so distinguished a part. One commemorative scene is thus portrayed : — KnoAving that the Mackerel Brigade Avas making preparation to entrap the Southern Confederacy at Molasses Junc- tion, I ascended to the upper gallery of my architectural steed, Pegasus, on Tues- day, in order that I might not be unduly hurried on my journey. Taking Accomac on my Avay to the battle-field, — my boy, — I called upon Colonel Wbbert AVobinson, Avho is superintending preparations for the draft there, and Avas Avitness to an incident suitable to be recorded in profane history. The draft in Accomac, my boy, is posi- tively to take place on the eleventh of September; but it is believed that the enrolment can be finished before the fif- teenth, in which case the draft must not take place on the twentieth. In fact, the Judge Advocate of Accomac states posi- tively that the conscription will take place on the first of October ; and \ T olunteering is so brisk that no draft may be required. At least, such is the report of those best acquainted with the more decisive plans of the War Department, Avhich thinks of joining the temperance society. The exempts Avere filing their papers of exemption with Colonel Wobert Wob- VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 165 inson, my boy, and among them was one chap with a swelled eye, a deranged neck- tie, and a hat that looked as though it might have been an elephant's foot-pad. The chap came in with a weary walk, and says he : " Being a married man, war has no ter- rors for me ; but I am obliged to exempt myself from military affairs on account of cataract in my eyes." Colonel Wobert Wobinson looked at him sympathizingly, and says he : " You might possibly do for a Major- General, my son ; it is principally business that characterizes a majority of our pres- ent Major-Generals in the field ; but fear- ing that your absence from home might cause a prostration in the liquor business, I will accept your cataract as valid." The poor chap sighed until he reached the first hiccup, and then says he : " I wish I could cure this here cataract, which causes my eye to weep even in the absence of woe." " Do your orbs liquidate so freely ? " says the Colonel, with the air of a family physician. " Yes," said the poor chap, gloomily, " they are like two continual mill streams." " Mill streams ! " said Colonel Wobinson, meditatively ; " mill streams ! Why, then, you had better dam your eyes." I think, my boy, I say I think, that this kind advice of Colonel Wobert Wobinson must have been misunderstood in some way, for an instant departure of severally piously inclined recruits took place precipi- tately, and the poor chap chuckled like a fiend. It is a grate misfortune of your mother tongue, my boy, that words of widely dif- ferent meaning have precisely the same sound, and in using one you seem to be abusing another. ment. He had been urging the men to come forward and sign the roll, and told the women to hurry them up. At this, a woman arose in the meeting and addressed her husband substantially as follows : "Ira, you know that you said before you came Ira's Wife and his Breeches. here to-night, that you woidd enlist. If you don't do it, go straight home and take off those breeches, and let me have them, and I will go myself!" This brought | down the house and brought up Ira, who put his name down and became a volun- teer. Ira's Wife and his Breeches. While Mr. Ely was addressing a patri- otic meeting in Gosport, N. Y., a little scene occurred which created much merri- Hard Work for a Drafting-Colonel in Savan- nah. The scene which ensued on the occasion of the Confederate draft for four hundred men in Satannah, Georgia, to complete a requisition for troops, the requisite number not having volunteered, is thus amusingly described by an eye witness : Fifteen hundred of the business men and mechanics of the city were drawn up in a hollow square, on the parade ground, all in a high state of excitement. The Colonel now took his place in the centre, and from the back of a magnificent horse, in a few well-timed remarks, called for volunteers. He said it was a shame that a Georgian should submit to be drafted, 166 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION ind dishonorable to a citizen of Savannah to be forced into the service of his coun- try. He appealed to their patriotism, their pluck, and their — pelf. He told them of good clothes, good living, and fifty dollars bounty ; and on the strength of these — as he thought — conclusive considerations, in- vited everybody to walk three paces in .front. Nobody did it. An ugly pause ensued, worse than a dead silence between the ticking of a conversation. The Colonel thought he might not have been heard or understood, and he repeat- ed his catalogue of persuasions. At this point one of the sides of the square opened, and in marched a company of about forty stalwart Irishmen, whom their Captain, in a loud and exultant tone, announced as the " Mitchell Guards ; we volunteer, Colonel, in a body." The Colonel was delighted. He proposed " three cheers for the Mitchell Guards," and the crowd indulged not inor- dinately in the pulmonary exercise. The requisite number did not seem to be forth- coming, however, and the Colonel made another little speech, winding up with an invitation to the black drummer and fifer to perambulate the quadrangle and play Dixie, which they did, but they came as they went — solitary and alone ; not the ghost of a volunteer being anywhere visi- ble in the Ethiopian wake. The Colonel looked as blank as if he Avas getting des- perate, and a draft seemed inevitable. As a dernier resort the Colonel directed all who had excuses to advance to the cen- tre, and submit them for examination. Those who have ever seen a crowd run away from a falling building at a fire, or toward a dog-fight, or a street show, can form some idea of the tempestuous nature of the wave that swept toward the little table in the centre of the square around which were gathered the four grave gen- tlemen who were to examine the docu- ments. It was a scene which, as an uninterested outsider, one could only hold his sides and laugh at. Hats were crushed into every imaginable misshape, ribs punched, corns smashed, clothes torn, and canes lest. Every hand held its magical bit of paper, from the begrimed digits of the individual just from a stable or a foundry, to the filbert-tapering and dainty-gloved extrem- ity of the dry goods clerk, just from his counter. Young and old, rich and poor.» neat and nasty, Americans, Englishmen, Irishmen, Germans, Frenchmen, Italians, Israelites, and Gentiles, all went to make up the motley mass. What a pretty lot of sick and disabled individuals there were, to be sure. Swelled arms, limping legs, spine diseases, corns and bunions, bad eyes, toothaches, constitutional debility in the bread-basket, eruptive diseases, deafness, rheumatism, not well generally — these, and a thousand other complaints, were repre- sented as variously and heterogeneously as by any procession of pilgrims that ever visited the Holy Land. And so the day progressed, nearly ten hours being consumed in the endeavor to secure a draft. In the afternoon, the ab- sentees were gathered together, and the efforts renewed, when, strange to say, every man who found the liability imminent of his being forced to enlist, protested that he was just on the point of doing so, and " willingly " put his name to the roll. The state of things in Savannah, in respect to volunteering in defence ol "• outraged South- ern rights," was about on a par with the feeling; hi other cities of the South. Settling: an Irish Volunteer Case. A buxom Irish woman came one day to the room of the Supervisors' Volunteering Committee, New York, with three Emerald lads in tow, about six, eight and ten years of age respectively. She pushed rather brusquely up to the table where sat Mr. Chairman Blunt, with all the qualities of lawyer, judge and jury blended harmoni- ously into one, and said : — "Is Misther Bloont within? Come along up here, ye childers," turning to her trio. VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 167 " Yes, I am the man," says the jury, judge and counsellor. . " Wal, I've fetched the three boys for yees.' "Whose boys?" " Your own, to be sure. Take them and make the best ye can of them." Here was a nice pickle of fish. The clerks in the vicinity and the numerous spectators about pricked up their ears, and looked knowingly at each other and then at Mr. Blunt. The latter gentleman for a moment ap- peared a little staggered, looked about him generally, and ejaculated " Ahem." It was an interesting moment, and all waited for the next development. " My boys ! what do you mean ? " " Mane ? " said she ; " I mane that they are yer own, and ye must take the care of them, for I won't. Didn't ye enlist me husband here without me consent ? Put him in the nasty army, where I suppose he is shot by this time ? Yes ; he's left me and left me childers. As ye took him, so may ye take me boys, and support them, too He's the father of me childers, and he has left them and their mither, and without a cint to feed them with, and ye — ye — ye did it ! " " Oh ! be calm, my good woman," says Mr. Blunt ; " let us look into this matter. Your husband enlisted, did he ? " " Yees, sur." " Well, I do not enlist any one ; I only pay the bounty. Did he get his bounty money ? " " Yees, sur ; he did — three hundred dol- lars ; but niver a divil of a cint did he give to me. Ye had no business to give him the money. Ndw ye've got him, take the childers wid ye." '* Well, if you insist upon it, I'll take your children and put them in excellent quarters." " And what will ye did with them ? " "Why, put them in the Orphan Asy- lum." " The Orfen Asylum ! The divil ye will ! And do ye think I will have them in the Orfen Asylum, and their father isn't dead yit, and I am a living soul, their own honest mither, standing afore ye ? The Orfen Asylum ! " The very idea seemed abhorrent to her, and she still insisted on " Misther Bloont " taking upon himself the care of her " child- ers." " Have you not seen your husband since he enlisted ? " " No, sur." " How do you know I paid him three hundred dollars bounty ? " " Michael McGuire, who went with him, told me so." " Now, what is your name ? " says Mr. B. " Me name is Margaret Phelin." " And your husband's name ? " " Patrick Phelin ; and these are the three little Phelins — all we have." The Supervisor directed one of his clerks to refer to the books for that name. It was soon found, with the fact also that Mr. Blunt had, at Patrick's request, deposited the money in the savings bank to the credit of his wife Margaret. Here, then, was a discovery. Says Mr. B. to Margaret : " Patrick, you say, left you no money ? " " No, sur, and the more shame to him ; for he was a good man, Patrick." "What would you do with the three hundred dollars, if you had it ? " "Bless yer Honor, I'd put it in the praist's hands or the savings bank, and keep it safe for Pat and the boys." "You wouldn't spend it, nor fool it away ? " " In fath, I would not." "And you would bring up your boys well and send them to school ? " " Indade I would." " Well, my good Avoman, the money is all safe in the bank and belongs to you. I placed it there for you at Patrick's re- quest. It shows he is a good man, and you see to it that you make him a good wife while he is away." 168 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. The woman was overwhelmed with astonishment as well as gratitude at this piece of unexpected good luck, and poured out her thanks upon him whom she was a few minutes before anathematizing, and in such a demonstrative manner as the native Irish alone can evince. The tables were fairly turned, and no father was wanted for the " childers." Girl-Recruit for the Cavalry. A dashing young woman in male attire visited the city of Rochester, New York, and sought admission to the army as a vol- unteer. She was dressed in dark clothes and wore a soft hat with a gilt cord around it, and had the general air of a soldier. She went to the head-quarters of the Third Cavalry, in the Arcade, and there made her application to Sergeant White, of Com- pany H, to be enlisted as a soldier. She stated to the officer that she had served eighteen months in the infantry, and had been wounded in one of her limbs, was put into hospital, and then discharged. Sergeant White thought she was rather Tight for the service, but said she might perhaps go in as bugler. She replied that it was just what she would like, and to show her capacity she whistled one or two calls. The Sergeant, not at all suspecting that he was dealing with a female, familiarly put his hands upon her chest and arms, and remarked that she was rather queerly made. Finally he started with her for the office of the surgeon, «o be examined, she having signed her name as Johnson, on the roll. Just before reaching the office of the surgeon, the recruit said to the Ser- geant that she could not be examined, and if she went in it must be without that. The Sergeant replied that the law was im- perative. She then disclosed her sex as a reason why she craved exemption from the customary examination. This ended the matter so far as Sergeant White was con- cernedo He introduced the recruit to a number of officers, and none of them sus- pected her sex. The Sergeant did not be- tray the confidence reposed in him by the girl, until she had time to get out of the way. One of the lieutenants of the Third, who conversed with this recruit, expressed his doubts as to the young man being old enough or tall enough for such service. A measurement, however, showed that he was over five feet high, and though he claimed to be eighteen years of age, the lieutenant protested that he could not be over sixteen. Fate of a Co-ward. The following is one among the many curious cases resulting from the draft. In the month of July, 1863, a man in Ames- bury, Massachusetts, was drafted, and on the 27th of that month he presented a claim for exemption as the only son of an aged and dependent mother. On this, an investigation took place, which proved that the woman he called his mother was only one who had adopted him, and the claim was not allowed. He then suggest- Fate of a Coward. ed that perhaps his teeth might exempt him ; but an examination caused that also to he dismissed. The next day or the day after he went to Newburyport and had eight teeth extracted, and in four or five days afterward he called at the office for exemption, and was duly exempted for VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 169 loss of teeth. A short time after, these facts came to the knowledge of the pro- vost officers, the man was at once arrested, and the allegations substantiated. The case was now reported to the Provost- Marshal-General, who ordered that the man be held to service and assigned to the artillery, without the privilege of commu- tation or furnishing a substitute. He was soon on his way to Gallop's Island. " I likes de Job." A stalwart descendant of the Nubian race, buttoned to his chin with nine brass eagles, his Burnside hat surmounted with a feeble plagiarism of the " Prince's feath- er," his feet encased snugly in a pair of '' broadhorn " coal boots, built of leather, and his lips of a character not especially commented on in the " Song of Solomon," pleasantly vouchsafed to those around him the following little military apostrophe. Striking the most graceful attitude of Dick SAviveller, puffing a weed fresh from the remarkably choice stock of an army sutler, he cocked one eye condescendingly upon his listeners, as he defined his position : *' Yer see," said he, " dis life is diff'ent from what I used to live — no pickin' cotton in de field now — no sore sliins, no jeens clothes — no oberseer — no hckins. I'se a soger now- — thirteen dollars a month, plen- ty grub, and good clothes. I always 'haves myself, and gits furlough. I likes de job, myself ! Ha, ha, ha ! " Sad Result of Patriotic Courage in a Youth. Robert was a conscientious, likely young man, who was one of those persons honored by the draft, in one of the pleas- ant villages of New England. His state of bodily health was such that he could have availed himself, if he had chosen, of one of the ' humane clauses ' of the origi- nal conscription act, but being patriotic and honest, he felt it to be his duty to obey the call of his government. Before leaving his village home, he married the girl of his choice, and then left her and 11 his doting mother to pray for his early re- turn to them. In the course of time it was rumored that the young soldier was sick in a Washington hospital. Now, Robert was never fit to enter the service, and the severe marches between the Po- tomac and the Rapidan were too heavy a tax upon his slender frame. Sure enough, he fell sick, and was lucky enough to get into a Washington hospital. One Sunday morning, afterwards, a friend went to Harewood hospital, to find Robert. In re- ply to his inquiries, he was told that the young soldier had recovered, and had been transferred to the invalid corps. The friend was rejoiced at this announcement, but as he was leaving, he met a surgeon, and asked him more particularly respecting the soldier in question. He replied very quickly, "You have been misinformed. Charles has been transferred to the invalid corps, but Robert died last night of typhoid fever ! " This is one of ten thousand incidents, of a similar kind, in the heart-history of America's great rebellion. Jim Morgan and the New Recruit. The arrival of new recruits always was taken advantage of by the old soldiers, as an excellent opportunity to gratify their love for jokes and sells, of which they did not fail to have an abundant and varied supply, to suit different cases and circum- stances. On one of these occasions of camp haz- ing, General James Morgan, from Illinois, and commanding a brigade in Davis's Di- vision, was drawn in as one of the dra- matis personce. The General being one of those men who would be very apt to be mistaken for a wagon-master, on ac- count of his plain and unassuming manner and dress, advantage was duly taken of this for a 'lark.' A new recruit of his brigade lost some books, and made inquiry of a Veteran where he would be likely to find them. Veteran informed him that the only thief in the brigade was Jim 170 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. Morgan, who did the teaming, and who occupied a tent near the blue flag. Away ran recruit to Morgan's tent, shoved his head in, and asked, " Does Jim Morgan live here ? " " Yes," was the reply, " my name is James Morgan." " Then I want you to hand over those books you stole from me " " I have none of your books, my man." « it's a — lie," indignantly exclaimed the recruit. The boys say you are the only thief in camp ; turn out them books, or I'll grind your infernal carcass into ap- ple sass." The General relished the joke much, but seeing the sinewy recruit peeling off his coat, thought it time to inform him of his relations to the brigade, — at which the astonished recruit walked off, merely re- marking, " Wall, — me if I'd taken you for a Brigadier. Excuse me, General, I don't know the ropes yet." "Wanted to Draw on the Blue Clothes. Commissioner Blunt, of New York, while superintending the local bureau of drafting in that city, received the following note in " fair and gentle lines :" — " O. Blunt — Sir : Pardon me for the liberty I have taken ; but I am an able- bodied woman, and if you will enlist me I will put on soldier's clothing and go. There shall never be any one the wiser until my time has expired, if I could se- cure the doctor, and that is done very easy, I suppose. I think I should make a bet- ter soldier than a great many who draw on the blue clothes, and are always talk- ing but won't fight. Yours, etc., Miss Hattie , 55 street." Of course the fair Hattie was allowed to dispense her charms in her accustomed sphere instead of donning the " blue clothes" and to show " fight" with her pen instead of with the sword or bayonet. Fannie and Nellie of the Twenty-fourth New Jersey. Miss Fanny Wilson was a native of Williamsburg, Long Island, and about one year prior to the war she went to the West, visiting a relative who resided at Lafayette, Indiana. While there, her leisure moments were frequently employed in communicating by affectionate epistles with one to whom her heart had been given and her hand had been promised before leaving her native city — a young man from New Jersey. After a residence of about one year with her western rela- tive, and just as the war was beginning to prove a reality, Fanny, in company with a certain Miss Nellie Graves, who also had come from the East, and there left a lover, set out upon her return to her home and family. While on their way thither? the two young ladies concocted a scheme, the romantic nature of which was doubt- less its most attractive feature. Fannie and Nellie. The call for troops having been issued, and the several States coming quickly forward with their first brave boys, it so had hap- pened that those two youths whose hearts had been exchanged for those of the pair who then were on their happy way toward them, enlisted in a certain and the same regiment. Having obtained cognizance of this fact, Fanny and her companion VOIUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 171 conceived the idea of assuming the uni- form, enlisting in the service, and follow- ing their lovers to the field. Their plans were soon matured and carried into effect. A sufficient change having been made in their personal appearance, — their hair cut to the requisite shortness, and themselves re-clothed to suit their purpose, — they sought the looality of the chosen regiment, offered their services, and were accepted and mustered in. In just another compa- ny from their own, of the same regiment — the Twenty-fourth New Jersey — were their patriotic lovers, ' known though all unknowing.' On parade, in the drill, they were together ; they obeyed the same command. In the quick evolutions of the field they came as close as they had in other days, even on the floor of the dan- cing school ; and yet, notwithstanding all this, the facts of the case were not made known. But the Twenty-fourth, by the fate of war, was ordered before Vicksburg, hav- ing already served through the first cam- paign in Western Virginia ; and here, alas, for Fanny, she was to suffer by one blow. Here her brave lover was wounded. She sought his cot, watched over him, and half revealed her true sex or nature in her de- votion and gentleness. She nursed him faithfully and long — but he died. Next after this, by the reverse of for- tune, Fanny hei'self and her companion were both thrown upon their hospital cots, exhausted and sick. With others, both wounded and debilitated, they were sent to Cairo. Their attendants were more constant and scrutinizing. Suspicion be- gan to be excited, — the discovery of Fan- ny's and Nellie's true sex was made. Of course the next event in their romantic history was a dismissal from the service. But not until her health had improved sufficiently was Fanny dismissed from the sick ward of the hospital. This happen- ed, however> a week or two after her s*ex had become known. Nellie, who up to this time had shared the fate of her com- panion, was now no longer allowed to do so; her illness became serious, she was detained in the hospital, and Fanny and she parted — their histories no longer be- ing linked. Having again entered society as a mem- ber of her real sex, Fanny was next heard of en the stage of a theatre at Cai- ro, serving an engagement as a ballet girl. But this was for only a few days. She turns up in Memphis, even as a soldier again ! But she had changed her branch of the military service, having become a private in the Third Illinois cavalry. Only two weeks, however, had she been enlisted in this capacity, when, to her utter sur- prise, she was stopped by a guard and ar- rested fur being a woman in men's cloth- ing. She was taken to the office of the detective police and questioned until no doubt remained as to her identity, not proving herself, as was suspected, a rebel spy, but a Federal soldier. An appropri- ate wardrobe was procured her, and her word given that she would not again at- tempt a disguise. A brief description of Fanny would be that of a young lady of about nineteen years, of a fair but some- what tanned face, rather masculine voice, sprightly and somewhat educated mind — being very easily able to pass herself off for a boy of about seventeen or eighteen years. Table Turning: at the Recruiting- Office. The idea had become pretty general that no one was sharp enough to outwit or cheat a broker in bounties for army re- cruits ; but, in one instance at least, this illusion was dispelled in the goodly village of Gotham — sometimes known as the city of New York, — where one of the frater- nity was more than matched at the rooms of the municipal committee or commission on the draft. The broker in question attempted to take a man into the State of Connecticut as a substitute, for which act he confessed he was to receive the little sum of seven 172 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION hundred dollars. He was on the point of being arrested, but earnestly declared that he did not know of any law against it, and, promising fairly for the future, was let off. His next effort was with a party to whom he offered to give five hundred dollars to go as a substitute. The parties appeared at the rooms of the city commit- tee ; matters looked all right ; the broker deposited the three hundred and thirty- five dollars with the committee, as usual, (which was of course to be paid over to the substitute when he had passed,) and he paid to the substitute, into his own hands, the balance, one hundred and sixty- five dollars, — which made the five hun- dred. They now proceeded to the surgeon's apartment, for examination of the man's bodily condition, the substitute in the meantime having quietly and secretly given his one hundred and sixty-five dol- lars ' hand money ' to some sly friend, who was probably hanging about for the pur- pose. The examination progressed in the usual manner, when the surgeon an- nounced that the substitute would not pass ! Substitute probably knew this be- fore he started. Now the broker wanted his one hundred and sixty-five dollars back again ; but the substitute had not got it — he had just sent it home to his wife. The wife was sent for ; she had seen no money from any quarter, and had received nothing but a black eye, which she said her husband gave her when a lit- tle how-come-ye-so. Substitute was again questioned, then stripped and thoroughly examined, but nothing turned up' but a certificate pledging him an extra hundred to go to Brooklyn ; " But," said substitute, " my honor was at stake, and I would not leave the city." The broker was of course dumbfounded and amazed — silent with sorrow that he had at last found a man who could " do " him. But he was "done" most effectual- ly — done out of his 'one hundred and sixty-five ' clean, and also out of the two hundred dollars which he would have se- cured from his principal. He withdrew his three hundred and thirty-five dollars, from the hands of the committe, bade an affectionate farewell to Supervisor Blunt, declaring that ' There were two things he never expected to see in his day, viz., any one getting ahead of the supervisor, or being himself cheated. The last sad event he had experienced to-day, much to his grief, the other might yet happen, for it now appeared there were sharper ones to look after than the bounty-brokers — farewell ! ' With a wave of the hand the honesv broker retired — to meditate, probably, over the gross and open-handed corrup- tions of the day. ♦ Nervous Customer in the Red Tape Depart- ment. When Washington was being besieged by the rebel raiders, there came into the Adjutant- General's office a man anxious to serve the country. He was old and bent, long and gray of hair, coarse and strong j of features, nervous and trembling of hand, i slow and shambling of step, husky and uncertain of voice, quick and wandering of eye. " I want to go into the service ; aren't we to have a chance ? Isn't there j to be any call on the people of the city to I rise against the invaders ? " " Please step up to the Provost-Marshal-General's office, Sir," answered one of the clerks, as he winked at his neighbor. " But I don't want to run around — I want to go into service to help repel the invaders of our homes." " Certainly, Sir, certainly ; but you'll have to go up there to be enrolled," replied the clerk. The old man left. Half an hour later he was seen up stairs, talking with Colonel McBeever. " It's a damnable shame that the rebels have got into Maryland," said he ; " the invaders must be driven out, and I want to help do it. I am an old man, but I can handle a musket yet." " Certainly, Sir, certainly ; just step over to the Quartermaster's De- partment, and you'll find them organizing VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 173 a company for immediate service, into which you can go at once. Shall I send a messenger to show you over there, Sir ? " " Oh, no— I'll find it ; I'll find it." He went out, muttering something about the invaders ; but showed his confidence in official movements and directions, by turning deliberately and going the other way from the Quartermaster General's Department. Career of Frank Henderson. The war produced many heroines, and turned up from the humbler walks of life many rough stones that proved to be the genuine diamonds. But probably no army ever opened so many doors for romance as did the army of the United States during the southern rebellion. Accounts pre- iilii'llM Career of Fr;ink Henderson. seated themselves almost daily to the eye, of the valorous deeds of females fighting in the ranks for months, without their sex being divulged ; and in most of these cases there was connected with, their history some love experience or matter of ro- mance that had an important bearing upon their action. The following case of triple enlistment shows a military penchant quite rare and remarkable. While our army was at Chattanooga, Colonel Burke, of the Tenth Ohio, went out to Graysville, Georgia, under flag of truce, with authority from General Thomas to exchange twenty-seven prison- ers in our hands for an equal number in the hands of the rebels, the preliminaries of which had been previously arranged. Among the number in the hands of the enemy was a member of the Ninetieth Illinois, who may be called Frank Hen- derson. Frank's history was briefly this : On the breaking out of the rebellion she had an only brother, the only relative, living in Chicago, Illinois. The brother enlisted in the Eleventh Illinois infantry, and be- ing left alone in the world she resolved to enlist in the service in order to be near her brother. She enlisted in the Eleventh, participated in its engagements, and on the mustering out of the regiment for the three months' service she was discharged, without her sex having been discovered. She next enlisted in the Third Illinois regiment, and served for several months, during which time she managed to retain her secret, and by her staid liabits won the universal esteem of the officers. Wounded in one of the battles in which she participated, she was discharged. But Frank's love for the service did not per- mit her long to pursue the inert life inci- dent to home, and the organization of the Ninetieth Illinois regiment offered her an opportunity to gratify her love for a mili- tary life. She enlisted as a private in Colonel O'Mara's regiment, and proved herself an excellent soldier. She served in all the battles of that regiment, and was present at the capture of Holly Springs by the rebels — denounced by her as a disgraceful proceeding on the part of our forces, who could have held the place. In the latter part of the summer, while the regiment was marching through Flor- ence, Alabama, she asked and obtained permission of her Colonel to enter a house 1 in search of something to eat ; her regi- 174 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION merit moved on, and while waiting for the supper to be prepared in the house where she Avas, two rebels crawled out from un- der a bed, and presenting themselves be- fore her, ordered her to surrender. Thus in their power, she was forced to yield herself a prisoner, and was taken to Atlanta, Georgia, and there placed in duress. In a few weeks after her arrival, Frank made a desperate attempt to es- cape, and when ordered to halt by the guard, paid not the least attention to the demand, and was fired upon. The ball took effect in her leg, and she continued to suffer from the wound. Colonel Burke, while out with the flag of truce, effected her exchange, among others, and she be- came an inmate of the hospital, where in due time she happily recovered from her wounds. From the time of her first en- listment, which was in June, 1#61, until some weeks after her capture, she kept her sex a secret from everybody, nor was there ever any suspicion excited in regard to her not being of the sex whose attire she wore. In personal appearance she was prepossessing, and her whole demean- or was such as would have done no dis- credit to the best man in the ranks- Fearful Ordeal for a Deserter. One of the privates in the Nineteenth Indiana regiment having deserted his post, was tried by a court martial, and found guilty, the punishment being death for such a crime. His execution was deferred for some time, and he was kept in a pain- ful state of suspense. At last, the time was fixed for his execution, and five regi- ments were drawn up in line to Avitness it, while a file of twelve men Avere in ad- A r ance to execute the sentence of death by shooting him. The prisoner was led forAvard blind- folded, and the usual Avords of preparation and command were given in a Ioav, meas ured tone, by the officer in charge of the proceedings. During the interval betAveen the orders, " Take aim," and " Fire," and before the last Avas given, a horseman rode rapidly up the road, waving in the air a paper, which was understood by all pres- ent to be a reprieve. Covered Avith dust and perspiration, the officer rode hurriedly up to the officer in command, and deliv ered to him Avhat really proved to be a reprieA*e. The shout, " Reprieve ! " fell upon the poor soldier's ear, which Avas already strained to the utmost in anticipation of hearing the last and final Avord that Avas to usher his soul into the presence of his Creator ; it Avas too much for him, and he fell back upon his coffin apparently dead. The bandage Avas removed from his eyes, but reason had taken its flight, and he be- came a hopeless maniac. He Avas dis- charged and sent home to his friends. His death had really never been intended ; but it AA'as deemed necessary for the good order and discipline of the army to make an impression not only upon himself, but the whole brigade ; for that purpose the forms of the execution Avere regularly gone through Avith, in presence of five regiments, and the reprieve arrived in good time, as it Avas intended. It Avas sought by this means to solemnly impress upon the Avhole assemblage of soldiers the necessity of a strict observance of duty and obedience, under the penalty of an ignominious death. It AA'as a fearful or- deal for the deserter, but it was certainly better than to have completed the tragedy by sending his soul into " that Avorld which no mortal doth knoAV." From Deck to Camp. As some of the prisoners captured from Grant's Virginia Army were halting, when on their way to the Libby Prison, a south- erner, observing a rather good looking for- eigner among. the number — and stepping up to him, said, "What! are you down here fighting us — you are no Yankee." "No, Sir," said the soldier, hanging his head. " Why, then, do you come to fight us," continued reb, " if you have no com- VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, n« mon sympathy with the Yankees ? " "Well, Sir," said the prisoner, "I will tell you. I am a foreigner. I landed in New York not more than a month ago. I got drunk, and the first thing I knew I found myself in camp." This shrewd make-up did not save him from entering the portals of the rebel prison-house. Noble Words and Acts of a Slavemaster. Hon. Mr. McClurg, the well known member of the United States House of Representatives from Missouri, showed his patriotism by giving written permits to several of his slaves to go into the army, securing to each of them whatever com- pensation he himself might be entitled to as a loyal owner, and stipulating that in case of the death of the men, their wives and children should receive the moi ey. He also wrote a letter to his "yellow man," Caswell, hi which he sa'd to him: " Make your own choice. If you go into the army, let me hear frequently from you. Make peace with your God and you need not fear death. Be temperate ; save your earnings. If you ever fight, fight with desperation, and never surrender. Enroll your name as Caswell McClurg, and try to give honor to it. In the army use your idle hours in learning to read and write." science would not allow her to use the money, and she had come all that distance to return it to the proper authorities, which, she besought Dr. Thompson to do for her. The Dr. took it to Colonel Rob- erts, of the second district, who however declined to receive it, on the ground that it had been paid to the recruit legally, and if he had committed any subsequent act that was not right, the return of his money would not inake it so. If arrested as a deserter, he ^rnild have to suffer the con- sequences. So the woman received back the money she had so conscientiously brought with her. Strong: Case of Conscience. A remarkable instance of honesty — re- markable especially on account of its con-, nection with the war and Government — happened in Cincinnati. A woman in al- most destitute circumstances came to that city, a stranger, from Canada, and being a Presbyterian herself, she sought out a minister of that denomination, Rev. Dr. Thompson, to whom she confided the fact that her husband had volunteered in the United States army, obtained Government and local bounty to the amount of three hundred dollars, and then deserted. He had left the money with her and then gone off, perhaps to enlist again. Her con- Poorer Pay but Better Business. The following remarks were made by a non-commissioned officer of the New York artillery, in a hotel in that city; The officer was at home on a twenty days' leave, given him on account of his remark- ably good conduct and bravery. Though he describes himself as a "loafer," no one will deny him the character of a true man and patriotic soldier. The conversation was started by the entrance into the room of a black French poodle. He said: " There's a French poodle, /know it is.. I used to be in the fancy dog business my- self, before I went to soldiering. Did I find soldiering pay better? Yes, I did! I always spend all I can get. I can't help it. You see I am a loafer, I am. I get my little seventeen dollars a month for the little place I have in the battery, and I spend it all and I fight for my country. Here, in New York, I used to get more money, but I spent it all and it didn't do me any more good than what I get now. And then I know all the time I am doing my country's work. You see there are soldiers and there are 'sogers?' I'm a soldier clear through. We have lost two batteries since this war began, and I have been all through the fighting from the first. We came out of one fight with seven men, and out of another with five. It seems strange to me that while I saw men laid 176 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE EEBELLION, out all around me, who had wives, and mothers and babies, I shouldn't be hit. I am a loafer: I haven't got a mother, or a wife, or a baby, or a sister, or a brother. But they spared me, and killed hundreds of men who had lots of folks to mourn for them. I wish, sometimes, that I could have been laid out in the place of any of those poor fellows. Nobody would cry for me, but there would be some honor in dying for my country. I am going back in a few days, and if I sho^i get an arm or a leg shot off, I should have to come back to New York and beg for my living. I hope if they hit me they will kill me. I am ready to die any time for my coun- try." Had every man who enlisted in the war for the Union been of the above stamp, the conflict would have been a short one. Sole Condition for Re-enlisting?. While a visitor to General Butler's army before Richmond was threading his way through one of the camps, a good lor king, cleanly dressed, full bearded sol- dier attracted his attention by a gesture which was half salute and half beckon. Reining up, for there seemed to be a de- sire to speak, the soldier advanced, and, folding his arms and standing at his full length, began: " Sir, do I look like a beggar ? Look at me and say if I appear as if I were ha the habit of begging ? " The visitor answered in the negative, and desiring to know whether he had any- thing to beg for then, got his story. Said he— " Do you chew or smoke ? Now I don't know whether you are an officer, or a chaplain, or a sutler, or a quartermaster's clerk, but if you have any tobacco with you, for God's sake divide with me. You see I've not been paid for five months, so I can't buy any, and I must have a smoke — can't stand it any longer, am homesick as a school girl, be hanged if I haven't come confounded near deserting. (Here he stopped short to light a segar the vis itor had handed him, along with a more or less of Killikinnick.) When (puff,) I get back (puff, puff,) to Connecticut, I mean to raise (puff, puff,) raise tobacco by the acre, and, hang me, (puff, puff,) — hang me, if I don't give it all away to poor devils that haven't money to — (puff, puff, puff,) — poor devils that haven't money to buy any." In further conversation, he declared that he would re-enlist if he could be sure of obtaining tobacco regularly, and he would not re-enlist — not he! — unless he could be sure of it. After the Firing- on Old Sumter. "Well, father! the traitors have fired on old Sumter!" exclaimed Captain Grant, as he entered the store in Galena, on the morning of the loth of April, 1861. "What! fired on the American flag?" " Yes ! a body of seven thousand rebels have attacked Major Anderson in the fort, set the barracks on fire, and driven our brave boys out!" " Did Anderson give up the colors ? " "No, Sir: he has carried them with him, and brought them off in triumph. God bless him." "This is startling news, my son. What shall we do to restore the flag?" "I tell you Avhat I shall do, Sir! I shall volunteer ! " "Good. I like your pluck. I would do the same, if I were not too old. But what will your wife say to it?" "My family, father, are hi the hands of my God and my country. I believe that both God and country are calling me to volunteer; and I am not afraid to have my family in such good hands." In a few moments more our hero was across the threshold of his house. "AVife, what do you say? I am going again to war." There was an answering look that met his at that moment. It was more tender than that of the father in the store. Ita VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 177 brief glance told a sweet story of home joys. The witnessing tears that gushed silently to the eyelashes, and trembled a moment there ere they were dashed gently away, spoke louder than the father's words had spoken. But a moment more, and the firm consent followed. It was such a consent as a hero's wife loves to give a hero. In yet another moment the mother steps quietly forward: General Grant. " Go, Ulysses, go, my dear son. And may the blessing of Jehovah of hosts go with you!" "I knew you would all consent," said the Captain, as he glanced his eye quickly and firmly tc where some portions of his former armor were suspended; "for, if ever there was a just cause for fighting, it is this in which I now volunteer." In a few hours more Captain Grant was on his way to the capital and gov- ernor of the State. Black, the Scotch Deserter at Leesburg. One of the Confederate soldiers in the Virginia army was a rough Scotchman named Black. His relatives were at the South, and, desiring to get to them, he had joined the Northern army, with the intention of deserting at the first oppor- tunity. When on picket guard at the river, therefore, he pretended to bathe, and being a good swimmer, dexterously struck out for the Virginia shore. When midway, the rogue turned and shouted: "Good bye, boys; I'm bound for Dixie!" "Come back, or we'll shoot!" answered the guard. "Shoot and be , you white livered nigger-thieves," shouted Black, and in the midst of a shower of Minie balls he reached his destination. He entered at once the Confederate ranks, and proved an active fighter. During the battle he performed many feats of daring, and at night formed one of a corporal's guard who escorted a full company of cap- tured Federals off the hotly-contested ground. As Black was laughing and joking, the Captain of the Federals re- marked to him! " I ought to know that voice ! — is that you, Black?" " That's me ! " jocosely replied the ren- egade Scotchman. 'T couldn't stay with you, you see ; it wasn't because I feared to fight, but I like to fight in the right cause always." Singular enough, Black was escorting his old company, officers and all. Hopeful Tackett— his Mark. Hopeful Tackett sang the inspiring na- tional anthem — "An' the Star-Spangler' Banger in triumph shall wave '. the Ian dov the free-e-e, an 1 the homov the brave, : ' as he sat on his little bench in the little shop of Herr Kordwaner, the village shoe- maker. Thus he sang, not artistically, but with much fervor and unction, keeping time with his hammer, as he hammered away at an immense " stoga." And as he sang, the prophetic words rose upon the air, and were wafted, together with an odor of new leather and paste-pot, out of the window, and fell upon the ear of a ragged urchin with an armful of hand-bills. "Would you lose a leg for it, Hope?" he asked, bringing to bear upon Hopeful a pair of crossed-eyes, a full complement of white teeth, and a face spotted with its kindred dust. "For the Banger?" replied Hopeful; 178 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION "guess I would. Both on 'em — an' a head, too." " Well, here's a chance for you." And he tossed him a hand-bill. Hopeful laid aside his hammer and his work, and picked up the hand-bill ; and while he is reading it, take a look at him. Hopeful is not a beauty, and he knows it ; and though some of the rustic wits call him " Beaut," he is well aware that they intend it for irony. His countenance runs too much to nose — rude, amorphous nose at that — to be classic, and is withal rugged in Hopeful Tackett. outline and pimply in spots. His hair is decidedly too dingy a red to be called, even by the uttermost stretch of courtesy, au- burn ; dry, coarse, and pertinaciously ob- stinate in its resistance to the civilizing efforts of comb and brush. But there is a great deal of big, honest bone and muscle in him, which are of great value in a good cause. By the time he had spelled out the hand- bill, and found that Lieut. was in town and wished to enlist recruits for Company — , — Regiment, it was nearly sunset ; and he took off his apron, washed his hands, looked at himself in the piece of looking-glass that stuck in the window — a defiant look, that said that he wa> not afraid of all that nose — took his hat down from its peg behind the door, and in spite of the bristling resistance of his hair, • crowded it down over his head, and started for his supper. And as he walked he mused aloud, as was his custom, addressing himself in the second person, as follows : ' Hopeful, what do you think of it ? They want more soldiers, eh ? Guess them fights at Donelson and Pittsburg Lannen 'bout used up some o' them ridgiments. By Jing ! (Hopeful had been piously brought up, and his emphatic declarations took a mild form.) Hopeful, 'xpect you'll have to go an' stan' in some poor feller's shoes. 'Twon't do for them there blasted Secesh- ers to be killin' off our boys, an' no one there to pay them back. It's time this here thing was busted ! Hopeful, you an't pretty, an' you an't smart ; but you used to be a mighty nasty hand with a shot gun. Guess you'll have to try your hand on old Borey's (Beauregard's) chaps, an' if you ever git a bead on one, he'll enter his land mighty shortly. What do you say to goin' ? — you wanted to go last year, but mother was sick, an' you couldn't ; an' now mother's gone to glory, why, show your grit an' go. Think about it, any how.' And Hopeful did think about it — thought till late at night of the insulted flag, of the fierce fights and glorious victories, of the dead and the dying lying out in the pitiless storm, of the dastardly outrages of the enemy — thought of all this, with his great warm heart overflowing with love for the dear old " Banger," and resolved to go. The next morning he notified the "boss" of his intention to quit his service for that of Uncle Sam. The old fellow only opened his eyes very wide, grunted, brought out the stocking (a striped relic of the departed Frau Kordwaner,) and from it counted out and paid Hopeful every cent that was due him. But there was one thing that sat heavily upon Hopeful's mind. He was in a pre- VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 179 dicament that all are liable to fall into — he was in love, and with Christina, Herr Kordwaner's daughter. Christina was a plump maiden, with a round, rosy face, an extensive latitude of shoulders, and a gen- eral plentitude and solidity of figure. All these she had ; but what had captivated Hopeful's eye w T as her trim ankle, as it appeared to him one morning, encased in a warm white yarn stocking of her own knitting From this small beginning, his great heart had taken in the whole of her, and now he was desperately in love. Two or three times he had essayed to tell her of his proposed departure ; but every time that the words were coming to his lips, something rushed up into his throat ahead of them, and he couldn't speak. At last, after walking home from church ■with her one Sunday evening, he held out his hand and blurted out — "•Well, good-bye. We're off tomor- row.'' "Off! Where?" 4i I've enlisted." Christina didn't faint. She didn't take out her delicate and daintily perfumed mouchoir to hide the tears that were not there. She looked at him for a moment, while two great real tears rolled down her cheeks, and then — precipitated all her charms right into his arms. Hopeful stood it manfully — rather liked it, in fact. But that is a tableau that may be left to the imagination, — the tears and embraces, pro- testations of undying affection, promises of eternal remembrance, etc. The next morning found Hopeful Avith a dozen others, in charge of the Lieuten- ant, and on their way to join the regiment, and as he went through the various duties and changing experiences of soldier life, he would say, " Hopeful, the Banger's took care of you all your life, and now you're here to take care of it. See that you do it the best you know how." But in his case the path to glory was not amid the roar of cannon and muskets, through a storm of shot and shell, over a serried line of glistening bayonets — it was only a skir- mish, a bushwacking fight for the posses- sion of a swamp. A few companies w r ere deployed as skirmishers, to drive out the enemy. " Now, boys," shouted the Captain, " after 'em ! Shoot to kill, not to scare 'em!" " Pin": ! Pinsr ! " ran"; the rifles. O O o " Z-z-z-z-oit ! " sang the bullets. On they went, crouching among the bushes, creeping along under the banks of the brook, cautiously peering from be- hind trees in search of " butternuts." Hopeful was in the advance ; his hat was lo~t, and his hair more defiantly bristling than ever. Firmly grasping his rifle, he pushed on, carefully watching every tree and bush. A rebel sharpshooter started to run from one tree to another, when, quick as thought, Hopeful's rifle was at his shoulder, a puff of blue smoke rose from its mouth, and the rebel sprang in the air and fell back — dead. Almost at the same instant, as Hopeful leaned forward to see the effect of his shot, he felt a sudden shock, a sharp burning pain, grasped at a hush, reeled, and sank to the ground. " Are you hurt much, Hope ? " asked one of his comrades, kneeling beside him and staunching the blood that flowed from his wounded leg. " Yes, I expect I am ; but that red waraus over yonder's redder'n ever now. That feller w r on't need a pension." They carried "Hope" back to the hos- pital, and the old surgeon looked at the wound, shook his head, and briefly made his prognosis : — M Bone shattered — vessel injured — bad leg — have to come off. Good constitution, though ; he'll stand it." And he did stand it ; always cheerful, never complaining, only regretting that he must be discharged — that he was no longer able to serve his country. Once more Hopeful is sitting on his lit- tle bench in Mynheer Kordwaner's little shop, pegging away at the coarse boots, 180 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. singing the same glorious prophecy that he was first heard singing. He had but two troubles after his return. One, the linger- ing regret and restlessness that attend a civil life, after an experience of the rough, independent life in camp. The other trouble was when he first saw Christina after his return. The loving warmth with which she greeted him pained him ; and when the worthy Herr considerately went out of the room, leaving them alone, Hope- ful relapsed into gloomy silence. At length, speaking rapidly, and with choked utterance, he said : " Christie, you know I love you now, as I always have, better'n all the world. But I'm a cripple now — no account to nobody — just a dead weight — an' I don't want you, 'cause o' your promise before I went away, to tie yourself to a load that'll be a drag on you all your life. That contract — ah — promise — an't — is — is hereby re- pealed ! There ! " And he leaned his head upon his hands and wept bitter tears, wrung by a great agony from his loving heart. Christie gently laid her hand upon his shoulder, and spoke, calmly and slowly — " Hopeful, your soul was in that leg, was it?" It would seem as if Hopeful had always thought that such was the case, and was just receiving new light upon the subject, he started up so suddenly. " By Jing ! Christie ! " And he grasped her hand, and — but that is also one of those scenes to be left to the imagination. And Christie promised the next Christmas to take the name, as she already had the heart, of Tackett. Herr Kordwaner, too, had come to the conclu- sion that he wanted a partner, and on the day of the wedding a new sign was to be put up over a new and larger shop, on which " Co." would mean Hopeful Tackett. In the mean time, Hopeful hammered away lustily, merrily, whistling and sing- ing the praises of the " Banger." Occa- sionally, when resting, he would tenderly embrace his stump of a leg, gently patting and stroking it, and talking to it as to a pet. If a stranger was in the shop, he would hold it out admiringly, and ask : " Do you know what I call that ? I call that '■Hopeful Tackett — his mark ! v " And a mark of distinction — a badge of patriotism and honor — it might well be called. Substitute Broker Sold— " Indians " for the Army. Along the dock near the foot of First Street, Detroit, is a large wooden figure of an Indian, embellished with all the trap- pings of a Chippewa chief, and leaning against the warehouse of . Well, one day a stranger appeared in front of the provost-marshal's office, and beckoning to one of the substitute brokers hanging around there, said to him, " You are in the substi- tute business, I believe ? " Being answered affirmatively, he continued, " Do you take Indians ? " " Oh, yes," said the broker. " Well," inquired the stranger, " what will you give me if I tell you where you can get one, sound in every respect, not liable to draft, and will go as a substitute, if accepted?" "Give you?" replied the broker, every feature in his face beaming with delight at the prospect of making a lucky strike, "give you ! why, I'll give you a hundred dollars in greenbacks." " It's a bargain," said the stranger, and here they clasped hands fraternally over it. " Here's my name,' he continued, handing the broker a card, on which was pencilled " Enoch Ketchum." " Take this to , near the foot of First street, and tell them that I sent you after that Indian ; they will understand it ; and don't forget the hundred dollars when you get him through." "All right," shouted the broker, as he jumped on board of a street car, on his way to the foot of First street. Having reached the warehouse, he presented his card, and in- formed the attendants of his mission. " Go right through the back door on to the dock, and turn to the left, and you will find the VOLUNTEERING-, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 181 only Indian that I know anything about in this neighborhood," said the attendant. Having followed directions, he soon came face to face with the Chippewa chief here- tofore referred to. Fully realizing the joke which had been played upon him, he went back to the warehouse, and finding the party laughing at his expense, he bawled out : " That was — well done, but that wooden Indian is better than some live men that have gone in as substitutes,'' and left said dock in a hurry, occasionally cast- ing a furtive glance around to see if any one he knew was interested in the sell. Union Recruits among the Negroes. Some queer things now and then turn up, and the following is a pretty fair sam- ple of the best : A Tennessee slaveholder from the coun- try approached an old acquaintance, also a slaveholder, residing in Nashville, and said in quite a friendly and confiding man- ner : " I have several negro men lurking about this city somewhere. I wish you would look out for them, and when you find them, do with them for me as if they were your own." " Certainly, I will," replied his friend. A few days afterward the parties met again, and the planter asked — " Have you found my slaves?" " I have." "And where are they?" "Well, you told me to do with them just as if they were my own, and, as I made my men enlist in the Union army, 1 did the same with yours." The astonished planter thoughtfully ab- squatulated. » Putting his Hand to the Roll. In one of the counties of Indiana a meeting was held by the patriotic citizens, for the purpose of getting volunteers, by the usual means of encouragement and promise. After the matter had progressed some time in the usual manner, a pleasant incident occurred which seemed to warm and gladden every loyal heart. A young lady stepped from the crowd, went up to her betrothed, took him by the hand, and led him up to the stand, where the recruits ing officers were taking the names of those who desired to enlist in the service of their country. Having done this, and without seeming in the least abashed in the presence of the large assembly, the fair girl kissed him warmly, and then with her own plighted hand gracefully placed his hand on the roll, for him to sign his name. It was the rarest scene and sub- ject for a painter — a fair and beautiful girl inspiring her lover to go forth to noble deeds for their common country ! There was enthusiasm in that meeting. Beauties of Rebel Conscripting. Early in the morning of Nov. 6th, 1861, the outside picket belonging to our army at Newport News, on the river, was hailed by a man who approached in a skiff of small size ■ he proved to be a Virginian, by the name of Peter White, who escaped from a rebel prison at Williamsburg, Va., He used to own a little schooner, the Maria Louisa, and traded up and down the James and York rivers, especially during the oyster season. He hardly ever slept on shore, making the schooner his real home, having his wife and two children with him. In April, 1861, when the en- listment in the rebel army was progressing favorably, some one made overtures to White about enlisting Being at heart a Union man, he did not feel inclined to do so , yet he wished, if possible, to save the schooner and its contents, that being all the property he owned in the world. He therefore ran into a little bay in the Chic- kahominy river, a small branch of the James, where he found a safe hiding-place. At this time his wife died, and he had a good excuse in the care of his children for refusing to accept the offers of enlist- ment, which were still occasionally made to him. 182 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION He remained at this place until the 9th of September, when he ventured out of his retreat, to go up to Jamestown, hoping that, as the patriotic enthusiasm among the Southerners had considerably died away, he would be granted the necessary pass for following up the oyster business at Hogg's Island. However, poor Peter soon found himself mistaken on this score. The authorities at Jamestown, in pursuance of Governor Letcher's mandates, under confederate law, at once demanded that he should unconditionally enlist in the army, and when he refused to do this they confiscated his schooner with all its con- tents, including $150. in gold, and sent him as a prisoner to Williamsburg. Here he remained for forty two days, without being once permitted to have a fair hear- Gov Letcher in" - . He was confined in a cell next to three negroes, who had previously at- tempted to run away, and with their assistance, a hole was dug sufficiently large, under tire wall, to admit one man at a time. On Thursday evening he made good his escape. That night he walked twelve miles, and during Friday hid himself in a cornfield. Towards midnight he reached the house of Becky Simpson, an old ac- quaintance of his, and a woman with strong Union feelings, who offered him shelter, and further volunteered to go, on the following Monday, to Williamsburg to endeavor to bring his children back. He consequently remained at her house, pur- posing to await her return ; but on Sun- day he saw a certain Mr. Slader, a well known slave hunter in those regions, come towards the house, and knowing that a price of $500 had been put upon his head, he thought it best to ' vamose ' as quickly as possible ; therefore, when he came in at the front door Peter ran out at the back, and, it being dusk at the time, he safely reached the shore, where he soon found a skiff, and pushed off into the river. In thirty-two hours he rowed between forty and fifty miles. Effect of Crinoline on 'Union' Sentiments. William Growman, a rebel deserter, who was drafted in Michigan, escaped from the provost-marshal by concealing himself un- der the crinoline of his intended. After the marshal left, it was hard to persuade the man to run the risk of coming for;h Effect of Crinoline. from his hiding-place, fearing, so he said, that the officer was still on the look-out for him. But when he did finally emerge from the friendly shelter thus afforded him, he wanted — out of gratitude, probably — to marry the girl on the spot, and did so VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 183 the next clay, after paying his three hun- dred dollars commutation. He thus, at least in a constructive sense, proved him- self a prompt ' Union ' man. Married Applicants for Exemption. Commissioner. — " What have you to say?" Applicant. — " I'm forty-eight years old." " Where were you boni ? " " Don't know." " How old were you when you came to this country ? " " Don't know." " How do you know you are forty-eight years old ? " " I know it. I'm sure of it." • The Commissioner, after various inef- fectual trials to make applicant show what reasons he had for his belief, now asks, "Are you married ? " (Applicant very sulky, but no answer.) "I asked you if you are married. Did you hear?" " I don't wish to be insulted." " No one wishes to insult you. Are you married?" Applicant, in a very loud voice, — " Of course I am ! " No Appeal Left. At Newport, R. I., on mustering in the new companies for military service, several minors were finally rejected, because they did not produce the certificate of consent from their parents. One young man — his mother a widow — had first enlisted and then went to his mother with a certificate for her signature. But she, not being willing for him to go, withheld her consent, yet finally, after much persuasion, said she would agree to do it on one condition, namely, that her son should thrust his finger at random through the leaves of the closed Bible, and the language of the text upon which it rested should decide her ac- tion in the matter. He did as she requested, and his finger, when the Bible was opened, was found resting over the two following verses: 2d book of Chronicles, 20th chap- ter, 16th and 17th verses: " To-morrow go ye 'down against them: behold they come up by the cliff of Ziz ; and ye shall find them at the edge of the brook before the wilderness of Jeruel. Ye shall not need to fight in this battle ; set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the lord with you. O, Judah and Jerusalem : fear not, nor be dismayed ; to-morrow go out against them ; for the Lord will be with you." The thing was settled — the mother consented. There was no appeal from the very pointed text which had been resorted to as the arbiter. Enlistment of Stonewall Jackson in the Union Army. One morning, a young farmer from Og- densburg, N. Y., applied at the recruiting office in Brooklyn for a place in the Union ranks. The attending surgeon gave a favora- ble opinion of applicant's physique and he was accepted. When asked to sign his name he wrote, in very legible characters, "Stone- wall Jackson." The commissioner very naturally asked him, on seeing the signa- Stonewall Jackson ture, if that was really his name. " Every- body asks me that question," said the young volunteer ; " it riles my blood. It is my name, and I mean to let the rebels know that there is a Stonewall Jackson North." We would like to adorn these pages with a likeness of that noble youth, side by side 184 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE EEBELLION with that of his epauleted but treacherous namesake who threw away his valuable life in so ignoble a cause. Commissioner Deciding a Question of Age. Commissioner, (a young lawyer, looking very grave and dignified): "Well, Sir, how do you claim to be an exempt?" Applicant, (an Irishman, in the prime of life, with a bewildered look): "I am forty-six years old." " Where were you born ? " " Don't know." " How old were you, when you left Ire- land?" " By Gorra, I don't know." " How do you know you are forty-six years old ? " " I am grandfather of four children." " I don't see what that has to do with your age." " By Gorra, I believe you don't know much about it (eyeing the Commissioner contemptuously, as if he were a boy). Billy Wilson's Zouaves Extraordinary Scene. Billy Wilson's Zouaves composed a reg- iment made up from what are called the " Roughs " or " B'hoys," of New York city, and were formally mustered at Tam- many Hall, the evening before their de- parture for their encampment at Staten Island. On this occasion the following extraoi'dinary scene was enacted : The men were ranged round the hall three deep, with Colonel Wilson and the other officers in the centre of the room. The men had all clad themselves in the gray shirts and pantaloons which had been provided for their uniform, and which was completed by a common brown felt hat, brogans and leather belt. They carried a short knife, about seven inches in length, between a sort of bowie knife and butcher knife in shape. Many also had revolvers, — one or two being intended for the arms of each man, as well as a slung shot and a Minie rifle. All the men being ranged against the walls, Colonel Wilson, with a drawn sabre in one hand and an American flag in the other, stood forth uncovered, and addressed his men amidst deafening cheers. After a short adjuration to the flag, for which he declared his devotion, he called upon all to kneel and swear with him. Waving the banner and flourishing his sabre, he knelt on one knee. All present knelt with him and repeated the oath which he put to them to support the flag, and never flinch from its path through blood or death. He said he would lead them to Baltimore, and they would march through it or die ; at which they all arose with a tremendous yell, flung up their hats, and brandished their glittering knives, amidst prolonged Colonel Wilson. and frantic cheers. He then denounced death to the Baltimore traitor secessionists and Plug Uglies, and said they would leave a monument of their bones in the streets of Baltimore. Amid yells of '•Death to the Plug Uglies!" he said, though he might be the first man slain, he had but one thing to ask, which was that each one of his followers should secure his man and avenge his blood. That they would do so, he again called upon them to swear, and marched around the hall hold- ing up the flag and his sword, and accom- panied by two officers, the one on the right bearing a banner inscribed — "The Union Battalion of Zouaves : Death VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 185 ro Secessionists ! " — while the other officer, on his left, held up, in both hands, a bowie knife and revolver. Wilson shouted to them to swear, and they re- sponded with shouts of " Blood ! " " Blood ! " "Blood!" "We swear!" Governor Tod and the Applicant for Ex- emption. A good thing is told of Governor Tod, of Ohio, whose labor in the great work of suppressing the rebellion may be charac- terized as of the heartiest and most telling character. An old lady, between fifty and sixty years of age, entered the Governor's office, and made an effort to induce that personage to exempt her husband from the draft. Mr. Tod looked at her an in- stant and exclaimed, " Why, the old gentleman is exempt, isn't he ? " " Ah, but he ar'nt an old gentleman," added the applicant, " he's only 35 ! " "In that case," said the Governor, "I can't do anything for him, but I'll tell you what I'll do for you; in case he's drafted and gets killed, — I'll marry you myself." This seemed to satisfy the old lady, and she accordingly departed. Quite the Youngest Recruit for Uncle Sam. One of the principal recruiting factories was once on a time enlivened by one of those amusing episodes which help the appetite and spirits. " So, Sir, you've clapped your dirty sojer trappings on my husband, have you ? " " Who is your husband ? " asked the officer. " Billy McCurtee, an' shore, an' a bould boy he is, so plaze ye. But it's a dirty thing of ye, my pretty man, to take him from his wife an' childers." " Can't be helped," said the officer ; "it's too late now." " Then take the baby, too," she cried, as she forced the little one into the arms of Lieutenant Adams : " Take them all — I'll send ye four more to-day." Off she ran at a ramd ^ace. leaving the 12 Quite the youngest recruit for Uncle Sam. unfortunate officer with the squirming and squalling recruit in his arms. Doubtful of its services to Uncle Sam, he sent it home by its father. Happy Ending- to a Sad Mistake. One day, during the stringent pressure for men to fill the ranks and the rigid ac tivity to prevent the draft being baulked, Captain Maddox, of Brooklyn, New York, sent a provost guard to arrest a German, a deserter, whose name sounded very much like Ferral, and who was at work some- where in South Second street, near the residence of Mr. John Ferral. The guard took it for granted that Mr. Ferral was the man they had been sent to take into their custody, and straightway made known to him that his bodily presence was re- quired at the office of the Provost-Mar- shal. Mr. Ferral, who was just in the act of sitting down to a most toothsome dinner, which it seems had been prepared with especial pains, " didn't see it ; " he thought there must be a mistake or a joke somewhere. He was told that it was so- ber earnest. Then he said he would see Mr. Maddox very cheerfully, but — he must see his dinner first. But the guard's 186 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION. instructions were positive, and nothing would do but that Mr. F. should go forth- with. So he was duly marched off, ac- cording to the manner provided for de- serters and similar culprits, between two muskets, down to the office of Captain Maddox, of whom he demanded an ex- said, " You will pass, Sir ; a dollar, if you please." " But, doctor," said the man, " let me run down stairs once more, and then try me." The doctor said " Oh, yes ; " the man ran down stairs again, but this time with such increased velocity that he forgot to come back. Drafting Scene planation. The Captain was much amused at the mistake, which he explained to Mr. F. The latter couldn't see the joke of the thing, but concluded to make the best of it, and a hearty '• smile " all round rec- tified everything, even to the loss of a good dinner, — or rather it was worth the loss of that savory meal to have the matter turn out a mistake instead of a reality, in those times. Unintentional Trick taught by an Examin- ing Physician. An applicant for exemption in one of our towns, on account of physical dis- ability, informed the examining physician that he was troubled with heart disease. The doctor told him to run up and down the stairs leading to his office once or twice. This the applicant did, Avhen the physician, after listening to the motions of the heart, Western Zeal in Volunteering-. Soo;i after the formation of Camp Mor- ton, m Indiana, an old man of sixty years of age, with gray hair and flowing white beard, presented himself at head-quarters, full of the fire of patriotism, and offered himself as a volunteer soldier in defence of his country's flag. The officer in com- mand was obliged, however, to refuse the old patriot's offer, on account of his ad- vanced age ; whereupon, quick as thought, ho went to a barber's, had his beard crop- ped, and his hair and beard dyed, and again applied for admission to the coveted ranks of his country's defenders. Not be- ing detected, he was at once received, and being asked his age, for enrolment, mod- estly replied, "Rising thirty-five." At the same camp mighlt have been seen a young man on horseback, looking wishfully upon the scene before him. Speaking to VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 187 the crowd ho said : " If I could only dis- pose of my wife and children, I'd go in a minute." A gentleman who knew him well stepped up and said, " I'll look after them ! " " Hold my horse," cried the other, and with, one hound he was in the camp, and a volunteer. Wisconsin Body-Guard for the President. " Brick " Pomeroy, an editor — and wag — in La Crosse, Wisconsin, on heing in- vited to assist in forming a body guard for President Lincoln, after due consideration decided to " go in," provided the following basis could be adopted and rigidly adhered to throughout the war. The company shall be entuely composed of colonels, who shall draw pay and rations in advance. Every man shall have a commission, two servants, and white kids. Each man shall be mounted in a cov- ered buggy, drawn by two white stallions. Under the seat of each buggy shall be a cupboard, containing cold chicken, pounded ice, and champagne, a la mem- bers of Congress and military officers at Bull Run. Each man shall have plenty of cards and red chips to play poker with. The only side-arms to be opera glasses, champagne glasses, and gold-headed canes. The duty of the company shall be to take observations of battle, and on no ac- emy's country, two miles a week shall be the maximum, and no marches shall be made except the country abound in game, or if any member of the regiment object. Kid gloves, gold toothpicks, cologne, hair-dressing, silk underclothes, cosmetics, and all other rations, to be furnished by the Government. Each member of the regiment shall be allowed a reporter for some New York paper, who shall draw a salary of two hundred dollars a week, for puffs, from the incidental fund. Every member shall be in command, and when one is promoted all are to be. Commissions never to be revoked. Roiled because he could not Fig-ht. James Leonard, of Upper Gilmanton, N. H., who had been rejected as a volun- teer on account of his being over forty- five years of age, thus expressed his views of his own case and the et ceteras pertain- ing thereto : — "After accepting several men over forty-five years of age, and several in- fants, such as a man like me could whip a dozen of, I was rejected because I had the honesty to acknowledge I was more than forty-five years of age. The muster- ing-officer was a very good-looking man, about thirty-five years old, but I guess I can run faster and jump higher than he ; also take him down, whip him, endure count shall it be allowed to approach i m0 re hardships, and kill three rebels to nearer than ten miles to the seat of war. ! his one." Behind each buggy shall be an ambu- lance, so arranged as to be converted into a first-class boarding house in the day- time, and a sumptuous sleeping and dress- ing room at night. The regimental band must be composed of pianos and guitars, played by young ladies, who shall never play a quickstep except in case of retreat. Reveille shall not be sounded till late breakfast time, and not then if any one of the regiment has a headache. In case of a forced march into an en- Poor Jeems ought to have been allowed the chance of trying his hand — at least on the last-mentioned class. Mrs. Smith's Husband to be Exchang-ed. At the battle of Ball's Bluff, one of the gallant boys of the Twentieth Massachu- setts regiment was taken prisoner, and confined with many others at Salisbury, N. C. His name was — say Tom Smith — and he had a wife and children living not a thousand miles from New Bedford. "When it became pretty certain that there 188 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. would be a general exchange of prisoners, some kind friend, desirous of relieving the terrible anxiety of the wife, called and in- formed Mrs. Smith that her husband would probably be exchanged. " Well," said the lonely woman, " I love Tom, and — the children love Tom, and I don't want him exchanged. I wont have a rebel hus- band, so noiv." The poor woman thought the exchange was a swap, and that she was to have some chap from the South hi lieu of her real husband. Tom, however, reached home by-and-by, to the great de- light of Mrs. S., who was afraid that ex- change, in this case, was to prove robbery — and worse than that A Mother Puts Out the Eyes of her own Son to keep him from the "War. A deed to make humanity shudder was enacted in the neighborhood of Terre sea. He endeavored to pacify her, and left home for a time. On his return, find- ing her in the same melancholy frame of mind, he threatened, in jest, that if she made further reference to the matter, he would enlist voluntarily. Mrs. Eastwick, doubtless laboring under some hallucination, or uncontrollable oper- ation of her mind, seems now to have re- solved upon the sad act of mutilating her son in such a manner as to prevent his be- ing accepted for military service, whether as a volunteer or conscript. She deliber- ately pressed a burning coal upon his right eye, while he slept upon a lounge, and the optic nerve was thus destroyed with but a momentary pang of pain to poor Stark. He became entirely blind. It may well be supposed that this unfortunate issue from her fears did not contribute to the mother's peace of mind. On the contrary, r I insanity took hold upon her, her sane mo- ments being marked by melancholy regret recruits for the army. Mrs. John East- wick, the wife of a respectable farmer, was the mother of seven children, all boys. In the early part of the war, two of these enlisted and served with General Buell in Kentucky. One of them, the eldest, Ezra, died of exposure in camp, and his brother Thomas soon after suffered an amputation of the right leg, from injuries received in a cavalry skirmish. These casualties operated upon Mrs. Eastwick's mind to such a degree that she lost all fortitude and presence of mind, and sat during whole days weeping and full of forebod- ings. Among her premonitions was a cu- rious one, namely, that her third son, Stark, would also die in battle. As the war advanced and conscription began, Mrs. Eastwick's fear on this point grew intense. Finally, the first draft came ; the State had filled its quota in almost every district, and Stark promised his mother that, under no circumstances, would he go to the field. But a second draft being projected, the mother's fears and excitement augmented. She endeavored to persuade her son to leave the country and make a voyage to at her frenzied act. My Gift to My Country. From more than one heart — yea, from multitudes — came forth the same sweet, sad sentiments of domestic love mingled with patriotic self-sacrifice, which utter themselves so earnestly in the following sentences : — It was little more than three years ago that I met him for the first time. Alike in thought, feeling and action, Ave seemed exactly united to each other ; at least, we thought so ; and hope painted the fu- ture with roseate hues. Our home might be an humble one, but love and confidence, with a mutual trust in our Heavenly Father, and each other, would well make up for the lack of worldly fortune ; and many a bright hour did we spend together} dreaming fairy dreams of the future. But, thank God, we did not set our hearts upon them, for both of us had learned to say, "Thy will be done!" Together Ave studied God's holy word, and " walked to the house of God in company "; together VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING; DESERTING, ETC. 189 we courted the society of the Muses, and many a glad hour have we passed writing for each other. He was everything to me ! Many friends are very, very dear, but none can fill his place i It is vacant now. It was a beautiful summer evening, nearly midnight ; the moon sailed majes- tically overhead, and seemed to look laugh- ingly down upon us, as, arm in arm, we wended our way home from spending the evening with a friend ; but my heart was very heavy, for the call for six hundred thousand more soldiers had just been made, and we had been speaking of a draft. My only brother is not a Christian and it lay heavy on my heart that perhaps he might be taken from us, and die with- out hope. I said some such words, and he (I cannot write the familiar name yet), drew me closer to him, and said earnestly, " If the draft comes, I will go instead of Ben." The draft did not come, for bravely, and of their own free wills, the sons of New Jersey responded to the call of their Pres- ident, and hundreds left their pleasant homes to go forth boldly and fight the battles of their country. Oh, methinks I can still see his proud, elastic step ; still feel the pres- sure of his warm hand as we said our last good-bve ; still see the dear form as he rose in the stern of the boat to call it yet once more to the sad little group on the shore ; still see the boat dwindling in the mist as it bears him away from me forever — the gift I gave my country ! O, Fred- ericksburg ! thou that didst drink the blood of my cherished one ! They have laid him to rest near Fal- mouth ; but he is not there. Sometimes in the shadowy twilight, I feel him near me, and he seems to whisper sweet thoughts of another meeting, I can not see him, but I feel his presence. "When I speak his name it dies in a hollow echo ; but I hioio he hears it, and will some day answer My gift to my country — I gave thee freely ! Heaven has accepted the sacrifice ! We'll meet again — ah, yes ! Gottlieb Klobbergoss on the Draft. I dink muchs about de war und de draft? und de rebils, unci all about dese dings. I dinks about 'em more as about anyding else. Sometimes I sets mits myself all day on de front stoop, und schmokes, mid drinks hard cider, und does noting else only drink ; den my vife she gifs me de teufel for drinkin so much, und ses I vas petter go und see atter Jacop, our hired man, und not bodder my head mit more as I can understood. But I tells her what shall vomens know about war ? better she goes und mindts her own piseness. I drubles myself more about Abraham as about Jacop. Ven I gits tired mit drinkin on my own stoop. I goes doAvn to Hans Butterfoos's tavern, und I drinks dere, und I tells my obinion, und some oder one tells his obinion, und we makes him out togedder. De oder day begins de draft. Dat bod- ders me agin. Some goes in for de draft, mostly dem as is too olt, and von't be took demself; some goes agin de draft; und some don't know vich vay to goes, but ony goes roundt und roundt, und gits boddered like dam so as I do. But, nefer mind, I dinks I must find dis ding out, und down I goes to Hans But- terfoos und hears de fellers bio. I don't make notin mit dat ; dey all bios some uder vay, und I don't dink dey hef him rite in dere own mind to. So I begins und asks a questchun ; und I ses to Bill PufFenshtock : "Vot you dinks von de draft, dat it is rite ? " And ses Bill : " No, I dinks et ain't rite." Yell, I don't believes him, caus he sheated me vonce mit a plind mare he sells on me. So I dries agin und shpeaks mit Fritz Hoerkenshphcer. " Vot you dinks von de draft, Frith, ef it's rite or not ? " And Fritz, he ses, dat he " Dinks it is shust so as it ought to be." But I don't believes him neder, 'cause 190 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, lie run'd aginst me last year for de peace of shustice, und dey makes him de peace — dat is de shustice. Und he is no more good for shquire as my old cat. So I gifs up askin somebody, und makes him out myself. I dinks in dis shtyle ; de reason dey go mid de draft, is becos dey want sojers. Ef dey don't git no sojers den dey can't bring on de war. Ef dey don't bring on de war den dey don't licks de rebils. Ef dey don't licks de i-ebils, den de rebels licks dem. Ef de rebils licks dem den we all go to ter tuyfel. Dat's pooty straight. So much. Now I must dink of some more ; vot is de next ding ? I dink dat's all rite ; but now I shtops, someding else comes doe. Let me sees. Oh, yes ; dry hunderd tol- lars — dat's de ding — dey all bios about de dry hunderd tollars. I dinks so my- self. Dry hunderd tollars don't licks de ribils no more as dry hunderd cenths. Vot's de goot mit tollars ? Petter a good shmart sojer, like my Shorge, he licks de rebils more tan shix hunderd tollars, yes. Now, I know more as Bill Puffershtoek und Fritz Hoekenshplicer, both togedder. We want de sojers, not de tollars. Dat's where de bodder is. We pooty soon makes money enuff; but paper sojers is ony goot mit wooden guns, so when de draft comes und ven men ses, " here is dry hunderd tollars," I shtays behindt und dont fight de rebils, den if I was de draft I takes dat man by his preeches und I ses, " Go to ter tuyfel mit your tollars und come along mit me like some oder man as has got no tollars und don't like to go so- jerin so bad as not you do," den pooty soon I gits so much as I vants ; dat's my ideas. I tells my olt voman, if dey drafts me I goes myself. To be sure, I don't dink dey will, 'cause I am more as feefty years ; but nefer mindt. I should go a long while, like my Shorge, ony deres two dings I don't like, und one is de marshin r und de oder is de fitin. I sooner marshes down to Hans Butterfoos und fites dere. Ef Sheff Davis comes dere on me, I gifs him dam, you petter had believe ; but ef I goes to Richmond, may be Sheff Davis gifs me dam. So onyhow, I shtays home. De oder day, my Shorge he comes back mit a furlow. He is so much a corporal as ever he vas, und I shpeaks mit him about dese dings, und I gifs you now what he ses : " Shorge," I asks him, " you've bin mit de rebils und mit de army, und mit Olt Abe, und dese fellers ; vat you dinks von dis draft dat all de beeples bios about ? " Und he ses to me, " Oh, tunder ! " Well, dats his obinions. May be he shall know somedings to. He's pooty shmart sence he goes for a sojer. He shwears like a man shix foots high, und calls mudder " olt voman," und he calls me " cap," and he kisses de glials, and he calls Jacop " dam phool." I dinks he gits some high offis before de war is gone. Gottlieb Klobbergoss. Quid Pro Quo. Before the close of the " peace " inter- view between President Lincoln and the three Richmond Commissioners, in Feb- ruary, 1865, " Vice President" Stephens spoke to President Lincoln on the subject of the exchange of prisoners, and asked him what was proposed to be done in the matter. The President replied that every thing connected with that subject had been confided to the care of General Grant, and that all information must come from him, through the regularly estab- lished channels of communication. Mr. Stephens then said he had a favor to ask of Mr. Lincoln, and which, if he could grant, he would esteem a personal obliga- tion. The President, of course, incuiired what the favor Avas. Mr. Stephens said it was in reference to a nephew of his who had been taken prisoner some time ago, and still continued in the North. His de- sire was to have him released. " Well," said Mr. Lincoln, after a little reflection, " I don't think I have the power to do that ; but I will give you a note to VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 191 General tyrant, who will, no doubt, do all he can to oblige you. But, by the way," he added, " there is, I believe, a young man, a Union Lieutenant, in one of your prisons in the South, of about the same rank as the young man you wish to get released. If you will try and get him out of prison I will use my influence for the liberation of your nephew, and they can be easily exchanged one for the other." Mr. Stephens asked the name of the young Lieutenant, and, on being mformed, borrowed a pencil, and, tearing a slip of paper, took a note of it, saying that he would do what he could in the matter. " Very well," said Old Abe ; " send him to us, and your nephew shall go down to you." • " I've Enlisted, Sir." A wealthy citizen of Philadelphia had been supplied with butter twice a week by a young farmer living on the edge of Philadelphia county. He came on one of his usual days to the house with his butter, received his pay, and then asked for a brief interview with the head of the household. The gentleman complied with the request thus made, and the young ag- riculturalist was duly ushered into the parlor. "I just wished to thank you, Sir, for your custom for these three years, and to say that after to-day I can not longer serve you." " I'm sorry for that. Your butter and eggs have always been very fine. What's the matter ? " " Tve enlisted, Sir." " Enlisted ? " " Yes, Sir. A mortgage of eleven hun- dred dollars has been hanging over my place. I purchased it from a lady — Mrs. B." " Yes. I know her very well." " Well, Sir, she holds the mortgage. She offered, last Saturday, if I would en- list as a representative substitute for her, and transfer my bounty to her, she would cancel the mortgage and present my wife with two hundred and fifty dollars in greenbacks." "And you accepted the offer ? " " Indeed I did, most gladly. I go for one year. I come back with a farm clear of incumbrance. My wife and boy can take care of it for a year. My pay will keep me, and my family can live without me for at least that time. Besides, I am glad to go. I wanted to go all along, but couldn't leave my folks." "And you are glad to go ! " " Indeed I am. I feel just as contented and free from care as my red cow when Sally is milking her. If I can be with Grant when he goes into Richmond, it will be the very happiest day of my life." Representative Recruit for President Lin- coln. President Lincoln caused himself to be represented in the great army of which, 9 by virtue of his office, he was Command- er-in-Chief, by obtaining a recruit — Mr. John S. Staples. Mr. S., arrayed in the uniform of the United States army, and accompanied by General Fry, Provost- Marshal-General, Mr. N. D. Larner, of the Third Ward, Washington, and the recruit's father, was taken to the Exec- utive Mansion, where he was received by President Lincoln. General Fry in- introduced him by saying : " Mr. Pres- ident, this is the man who is to repre- sent you in the army for the next year." Mr. Lincoln shook hands heartily with Mr. Staples, remarked that he was a good-looking, stout and healthy-appearing man, and believed he would do his duty. He asked Staples if he had been mus- tered in, and he replied that he had. Mr. Lanier then presented the President with a framed official notice of the fact that he had put in a representative recruit, and the President again shook hands with Sta- ples, expressing to him his kind personal 192 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. regard, and the hope that he would be one of the fortunate ones in the conflict in which he had entered. Cheers and a Tiger for Harry Bumm. There was at one time a hitch in the management of affairs in Philadelphia, producing difficulty and delay in paying out bounties to the fresh volunteers. Be- sides, there was no very great amount of money to be found in. the treasury. On the whole, the duties of Mr. Henry Bumm, the popular treasurer of the Quaker City, were more difficult than those of any pre- vious incumbent of the office. Under these circumstances, Captain Cameron, with a hundred and seventy-five recruits, marched one day to Mr. Bumm's office to draw their bounty. The aggregate was a large sum. The treasury was something like the Susquehanna at low water — its bottom was plainly visible. Mr. Bumm, however, did not keep the gallant boys 3 waiting. They stepped up, one by one, and received their emerald-backed por- traits of Secretary Chase. When all had been paid, a color-sergeant stepped forward and called " Three cheers for City Treasurer, Mr. Harry Bumm." All mouths opened, and the cheers were given loudly and lustily. This done, Captain Cameron said, " Boys, three more, if you like." The three more were given, when all hands put in the largest " tiger " seen since Van Amburg's caravan left Phila- delphia. The men then formed into line, giving another feu de joie of cheers as they moved off. Deserting a Bad Cause. Lieutenant Foster, of the Third Maine Heavy Artillery, arrived at Philadelphia with forty rebels who had taken the oath of allegiance to the Union. One of these had one thousand dollars in genuine Con- federate scrip, of one hundred dollars each. He supposed they were worth nothing in Philadelphia, and on being told that possibly some of the sympathizers of the South, in that city, might buy them, he replied that of all classes of people they were the worst, and should receive merited condemnation. He was asked what he did for a living before the war broke out. He replied that he was a clerk at Atlanta, Georgia. He was then told— " Perhaps you can get a clerkship in Philadelphia." At this, he looked thought- fully for a moment, and then said, " No, no ; do you think any sensible man would trust me with his business af- fairs, believing that I am a deserter ? I have deserted the Confederate army ; most of us have done the same thing. If I can get work at laboring, I shall be sat- isfied. I want to go to some remote place, where I shall never hear the word ' war ' mentioned." " Could you make yourself useful on a farm ? " interrupted an elderly man from New Jersey. " Yes Sir," replied the rebel oath- taker. " I will give you plenty to do," respond- ed the farmer, " get into my wagon." The repentant got into the wagon, and was soon on the sandy soil of New Jer- sey. .Equal to the Emergency. Secretary Stanton is stated to have set- tled a little point with the President of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, as fol- lows : President — The draft has fallen with great severity upon the employees of our company. Stanton — Indeed ! President — If something is not done to relieve us, it is hard to foresee the conse- quences. Stanton — Let them pay the commuta- tion. President — Impossible ! The men can't stand such a tax. VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 193 Stanton — They have a rich company at their back, and that's more than other people have. Equal to the Emergency. President — They ought to be exempted, because they are necessary to the work- ing of the road for the Government. Stanton — That can't be. » President — Then I will stop the road. Stanton — If you do, I will take it up and carry it on. The discussion is said to have been dropped at this point, and the very worthy president still worked the road as success- fully as ever. Anglo-African Daughter of the Regiment. While the Twelfth Rhode Island regi- ment was on duty in the town of Lancas- ter, Kentucky, a chubby young Anglo- African, answering to the name of Tom- my, came into camp, and desired to enter the service of some one of Uncle Sam's officers, and was taken by one of the Cap- tains as a body-servant. In this capacity the fugitive followed the regiment through all the experiences and vicissitudes of the campaign, and then home to Rhode Island, always faithful, attentive, cheerful. But the refinements of civilized life were too much for Tommy, and the Captain's body servant proved to be a veritable daughter of the regiment, — a bona fide girl of less than twenty summers, — who had been able, during all the period of her military service, successfully to conceal her sex in the guise of a boy. Yankee Forever! Colonel Lawson, like every other loyal prisoner in the hands of the rebels, was not unwilling to accept the privilege of parole in lieu of a dose of cold lead. The Colonel was taken prisoner by a gang of Missouri guerillas, who at first proposed a little target practice upon him with their rifles, but at last concluded to let him off on his parole. Upon investigation, how- ever, it proved that of the rebels who then had him in charge — about a dozen — not one could write a parole, nor any thing else. Through their whole youth they had never been subjected to the per- nicious influence of free schools. At last they requested Colonel Lawson'himself to make out the parole and sign it. He im- mediately wi'ote an agreement, solemnly pledging himself never to take up arms against the United States of America, or in any way give aid and comfort to their enemies, — signed it, and was set at lib- erty. He made the best of his way to our lines, and was not overtaken. Mr. S., the Countryman, and his Substi- tute. During the drafting time in New York, a Mr. S., from Putnam County, arrived in New York city full of hope, and eager in pursuit of a good substitute to take his place in the army, and four hundred dol- lars in his pocket to pay for hini. Of course he did not call at the rooms of the Supervisors' Committee. Had he done so he would have been made by Mr. Blunt a wiser, if not a better, man, and also saved his money. But he preferred going into the street, into the highways and by- ways, and through an ' honest' agent or broker succeeded in a way not altogether agreeable. The active and persevering agent whom S. secured to aid him, soon found a capital fellow — strong, hale and 194 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. hearty, and an alien — just what he want- ed, and moreover named Stander — a good name, under the circumstances. The agent did all the business for S., made his own bargain with Stander, and received from S. four hundred dollars in cash. How much of this the substitute was to receive was a secret between him and the agent. S. was delighted. He took possession of his substitute and started in the first train for Putnam County ; but before he reached the Provost-Marshal's office there was a sergeant of marines after him, who, notwithstanding the remonstrances of S., took him by force of arms, and conveyed liim back to New York and to the naval rendezvous, where he had already enlisted for the navy. S. was of course disconso- late. He had lost his substitute, lost his four hundred dollars, and .lost sight of the agent who had fleeced ihim. Neither knew he of his whereabouts, or even his name. All was gone, and he had nothing to do but to cast about for another substi- tute or £0 into the ranks himself. Rebuff to a Trafficker in Exemption Papers. At Plattsburgh, New York, while the drafting was going on, a man of no very great loyal pretensions called on a widow and informed her that her only son was drafted, and then hastened to assure her that he could secure his exemption if she would certify that she was a widow, and that he was her only son, upon whom she made her dependence for support. The patriotic lady made the following Spartan reply to the mercenary : " I can certify to no such thing. I am not dependent on my son for support, and I never expect to be. Besides, I think he ought to go, if he is able to perform military duty, and so ought every other able-bodied man, till this wicked rebellion is put down. Nothing but the necessity of wearing these skirts has kept me from going." And the patri- otic trafficker in white-livered merchandize evaporated. Cause for Rejecting a Recruit. One of the recruiting agents in the city of New York carried a finely proportioned man to the surgeon for examination, telling the man to return to the ward room as soon as he had been passed. In due time the man arrived at official head-quarters, bring- ing his own rejection. There was indig- nation among the recruiting committee, who immediately began to feel of the mus- cles of this really promising specimen of a man, and point out the beauties of his structure. Loud were the complaints and bitter their denunciations of Dr. H — , and what overt act they might have committed it would be impossible to tell, had not a bystander asked the man what cause the Doctor gave for rejecting him. " Well, I believe," calmly replied the man, " that he said I had the itch." The wardroom was clear in a moment — muscle-feelers and all. Puzzling- a Draft Commissioner. Commissioner : " Well, young man, have you come to volunteer?" Applicant — a bright French boy of nine- teen : " No, Sir ; I'm exempt. I am not a citizen — I am a French subject." (Hand- ing to the Commissioner the certificate of such fact, signed by the French Consul.) Commissioner: "You speak English well. Where were you born?" Applicant : " In New York, Sir." Commissioner : " Then you are an Amer- ican citizen." Applicant : " No, Sir ; I am not." Commissioner : " Why not ? " Applicant : " My father was naturalized before I was born." Commissioner : " Well, what has that to do with making you a French subject ? " Applicant : " Why, when he was natu- ralized, I was not in the country." Fig-htin' ober a Bone. The following dialogue actually took place in war times, between a guest at one VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 195 of our metropolitan hotels and a sable waiter connected with the establishment : Guest : " Well, Jim, you are going to join a colored regiment at once, I sup- pose ? " Jim : " Me, Massa ? O no, me nebber tink ob it at all." Guest: "Never thought of it? I am surprised ! I supposed all your people Fightin' ober a Bone. would embrace the first opportunity to take up arms eagerly. But why are you not going to fight ? " Jim : " Well, Massa, I tell yer. Did yer ebber see two dogs fightin' ober a bone ? " Guest : " Yes, of course ; but what has that to do with it ? " Jim : " Why, don't yer see, Massa ? de bone nebber fight ; de bone take no part in de conflic'. De Norf an' Sonf are de two cloys jiylitivL ober a bone ; we niyyers are de bone : toe don't take no part in de con- jiic'!" Q.ueer Drafting: in Maryland. The enrolling officer for Salisbury Dis- trict, Maryland, was very active and thor- ough in the performance of his duties. One day he went to the house of a coun- tryman, and finding none of the male mem- bers of the family at home, made inquiry of an old woman about the number and age of the " males " of the family. After naming several, the old lady stopped. u Is there no one else?" asked the officer. " No," replied the woman, " none, except Billy Bray." « Billy Bray ! where is he ? " " He was at the barn a moment ago," said the old lady. Out went the officer, but could not find the man. Coming back, the worthy officer questioned the old lady as to the age of Billy, and went away, after en- rolling his name among those to be drafted. The time of the drafting came, and among those on whom the lot fell was the verita- ble Billy Bray. No one knew him. Where did he live ? The officer who enrolled him was called on to produce him ; and, lo and behold, Billy Bray was a Jackass (not a human one, like the enroller, but with four genuine legs and ears of the usual length) — regularly recorded on the list of drafted men as forming one of the quota of Mary- land. Complimentary Salutations to his General. The Thirty-eighth Ohio Regiment once on a time went home as veterans. They obtained many recruits, among whom was a young man recruited hi Dayton. He was paid the usual Government and local bounties, dressed out in a suit of blue, and after a good time on furlough, returned to the front. On Saturday his Regiment was on picket, and our new recruit was put on an outpost, as he was rather a sharp fellow. Soon, however, he was missed, and it was found he had deserted to the enemy. In a short time, nothing more was thought of it. The matter was someAvhat revived, however, when, with the flag of truce that subsequently came in, there were brought, among other things, the compliments of Cap- tain , late of Johnson's Island, to Gen- eral Band. He was one of the escaped prisoners, who had taken this means of again getting among his friends in Dixie. He was also too well posted not to be able to give the rebels almost as much valuable information as they could obtain from a northern newspaper. 196 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. Indiana "Volunteer Ninety-two Years Old. Indiana has accorded to her the honor of furnishing the oldest volunteer of any State in the Union. Mr. Bates, of Pen- dleton, ninety-two years old, volunteered with a company from Madison County, and went into Camp Morton on Saturday, full of patriotic fire. Of course he was re- jected, on account of age. When asked why he volunteered, he replied that he wanted to show the young men that old men were not afraid to fight, and ex- pressed his determination to remain with the company, if permitted to do so. Men ninety-two years old are seldom to be found in these days, and especially in a military camp. Mr. Bates is said to be the father of twenty-two children. No wonder that he feels some interest in preserving the nation from destruction. Deaf and Dumb Soldier. Connected with the Springfield City Guard, Captain Lombard, Tenth regiment of Massachusetts volunteers, stationed at Camp Brightwood, Virginia, was a deaf mute, named John Donovan, who was a regularly enlisted soldier, and detailed as the regimental tailor. He learned the trade of tailor in Brooklyn, N. Y. He went to Springfield, Massachusetts, from which city he enlisted at the commence- ment of the rebellion. His infirmity, of course, precluded him from performing the ordinary military duties of a soldier ; and, being employed as the regimental tailor, he had many leisure moments, which he im- proved by the practice of a natural gift for drawing. In that art he was a self-taught man, and in it he attained a truly aston- ishing degree of proficiency. An accurate draft of Camp Brightwood was made by him, and subsequently lithographed. John was always spoken of in the highest terms of praise by the officers of his regiment, and, notwithstanding his infirmity, was fully equal, bodily and mentally, to the rank and file of the gi^and army of the Union. Donning- the Breeches. In Clinton county, Ohio, there is a cer- tain township, Richland, which, at the opening period or year of the war, had not, it would seem, raised a very large crop of patriotic young men, — judging from the proceedings of a meeting of irate females held there to consider the call made upon the country for troops. It was stated that not more than two volunteers had been furnished by the township up to that time, and the resolutions adopted and the speeches made at the meeting referred to, not only called the patriotism but the courage of the men of Richland in question. So stung were the female population by what they termed the disgraceful and unmasculine spirit man- ifested by the male population — the young men, especially, — that seven young ladies, determined if possible to retrieve the char- acter of the community and set an exam- ple befitting the crisis through which the country was passing, stepped forward and requested to have their names then and there enrolled as volunteers in defence of the nation. They added, that as soon as they could be furnished with uniforms, they would leave their clothing to the young men, who lacked the manliness to defend the flag of their country when it was as- sailed. Recruiting' Extraordinary. At the time when the Federal troops were quartered at Blue Licks, Kentucky, the monotony of camp-life was broken by a rather romantic incident. Several re- cruits were coming in daily, and were im- mediately sworn into service, but one spruce little fellow arriving Sunday even- ing, refused to take the oath on the Lord's day, wishing to postpone it until next morning, which modest request was grant- ed. The young recruit sauntered leisurely around among the men, apparently perfect- ly at home. When the time came to " turn in," he was shown a bed with three or four soldiers in the same room, which he read- ily accepted. His fellow-lodgers attempted VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 197 to converse, but found him quite silent, and, observing him kneel for prayer be- fore retiring, they concluded he was too pious for a soldier, but was perhaps to be chaplain. Next morning the surgeon was sent to have a conversation with the recruit before the oath was administered, and he being rather observing than otherwise, con- cluded, after a short " confab," that the young soldier was a very pretty female. After considerable blushing, she acknowl- edged the fact, stating that her intended was in the ranks, and that she was deter- mined to accompany him. It seems that " cruel parients," as usual, were the cause, they having refused to let the young folks marry, and, in the desperation of the mo- ment, the young swain sought the army, and a night or two following, the love- stricken maiden donned a suit of her bro- ther's clothes, and joined her lover at Camp Blue Lick. The Colonel discharged the young Romeo the next morning, and that evenino; the fortunates were made one. Why John Rawley became a Substitute. During the battle of Olustee, Florida, Jerome Dupoy, of Company D, Seventh C. V., was shot in the back of the head, evidently by some one in his own ranks, and suspicion fell upon a substitute for a drafted man, named John Rawley, of the same company, who had a quarrel with Dupoy and been stabbed by him. Ser- geant Broes charged Rawley with the crime, when he confessed, and is reported to have made the following statement: Well, Sergeant, I did kill Dupoy; he stabbed me at St. Helena ; I swore if ever I got a chance I'd kill him. I had one at Olustee, and I killed him. Nor is he the only man I have killed or caused to die. I cut out the entrails of a sailor on a guri- boat, since this war begun; and I killed, by stabbing, a man in New York, which caused me to leave my family and go as a substitute for a drafted man last Fall. But the ghost of Dupoy is the only one that ever troubled me. Since the battle I have dreaded night, for they are horrible nights. When on picket I always see Dupoy stand a little way front, his face all bloody, and the bullet hole in his head. At night, when in my dreams, he stands at the entrance. I awake, he is there, pale and bloody, but vanishes as soon as I see him. I could not keep the horrible crime a secret any longer. Pat's Compliments to "Desarters." The following dialogue really took place between Lieutenant A. C. C d, then recently of the United States Texan army, and Pat Fletcher, one of the privates of the Second Cavalry at Carlisle, but then near Fort Bliss : — Officer — Well, Pat, ain't you going to follow the General (Twiggs) ? Pat — If Gineral Scott ordhers us to folly him, Sir, begor Toby (Pat's horse) can gallop as well as the best of 'em. Officer — I mean, won't you leave the abolition army, and join the free South ? Pat — Begor, I never enlisted in th' abo- lition army, and never will. I agreed to sarve Uncle Sam for five years, and the divil a pin mark was made in the contract, with my consint, ever since. When my time is up, if the army is'nt the same as it is now, I won't join it agin. Officer— Pat, tha "Second" (Cavalry) was eighteen months old when you and I joined. The man who raised our gallant regiment is now the Southern President ; the man who so lately commanded it, is now a Southern General. Can you re- main in it, when they are gone ? Pat — Well, you see, the fact of the matter is, Lieut. C, I ain't much of a scholar; I can't argue the question with you, but what would my mother say if I desarted my colors? Oh! the divil a give- in I'll ever give in, now, and that's the end of it. I tried to run away once, after enlistin', but a man wouldn't be missed thin. It's quite different now, Lieutenant, and I'm not going to disgrace naither iv my countries. 198 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, Officer — Do you know that you will have to fire on green Irish colors, in the Southern ranks ? Pat — And won't you have to fire on them colors, (pointing to the flag at Fort Bliss,) that yerself and five of us licked nineteen rangers under ? Sure, it isn't a greater shame for an Irishman to fire on Irish colors, than for an American to fire on American colors. An' th' oath'll be on my side, you know, Lieutenant. Officer — D n the man that relies on Paddies, I say. Pat — The same compliments to desar- ters, your honor. Worse than being Drafted. One of the earliest names drawn in the South District of St Louis, Missouri, for the war, in the draft of 1864, was that of George R. B — , a young man who had recently commenced business in the city, and who not long before had married a very respectable young lady. At noon on the day of the publication of the list of drafted men, in which his name ap- peared, he received notice from a substi- tute agent, that he — the agent — had eight hundred dollars in hand with which a sub- stitute was to be procured. This seem- ingly eccentric proceeding was no cause of surprise to the young man, inasmuch as he had from his very cradle been the re- cipient of bounties from an unknown source, having been left an orphan by the ravages of the cholera in 1848, and placed in one of the benevolent institutions of the city. He was put in the best schools as soon as he arrived at a proper age, and ever since he had been supplied with a sufficiency of means, the institution which had guarded his infancy being the trustee of the funds. Since commencing business he had been able to live independently, and whatever sums he was informed were placed to his credit at his alma mater he generously donated to the charity fund. But when he was drafted his hopes' of the future be- came clouded. His wife wept upon his bosom, and his heart sank within him at the prospect. Too poor to pay a substi- tute, he saw nothing left to him but to be put in the front and fight, perhaps die, just as life was blooming into the bright- ness of springtime. Under these circum- stances, the notification above referred to, brought sunshine back to the young and despondent couple. But the strangest point in all this experience was yet to be developed — one, too, partaking largely of the romantic. Two days after the exam- ination of the young man, at about the hour of nine, a carriage drove up to the door of his residence, and the driver placed the following note in the hero's hands : "October 21, 1864. " Come with the bearer of this. A dy- ing friend wishes to see you. Be quick, or you may be too late." L. G." ^Bidding his wife adieu, telling her busi- ness called him away for a short time, he stepped into the carriage, and after driving for near half an hour, stopped in front of a comfortable-looking cottage in the suburbs. In a few moments he was ushered into a room in which was every evidence of a tasteful but modest luxury. On a low couch in the centre of the room lay an emaciated woman, of perhaps forty years of age, who, roused from an unrestful doze, opened her languid eyes and looked upon the young man as he neared her. A wild, peculiar expression lit up her countenance, and she seemed deeply affected. But the interview was short, for her strength was fast failing. Said she : "George, I am dying. You are my son. I have been wicked, but suffering has purified me ; and because I am worthy to hope for God's forgiveness, I have sent for you to-night to see you, and let you know the mystery and history of your life. Father , who is here, will tell you all. I have supported you all your life, and to me you are indebted for your ex- emption from the draft. All I ask is, that you will not curse the memory of your VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 199 mother. For years I have lived secluded, and endeavored to retrieve the errors of other days. Be virtuous ! " The dying woman here became ex- hausted beyond the power of utterance, and not long after breathed her last. The young man learned that she had been a notorious character in St. Louis, and was divorced from her husband soon after her son's birth, the father having died about two years after, previously placing the boy in the orphan asylum spoken of. Knowing the whereabouts of her son, how- ever, she superintended his education and furnished means for his proper mainte- nance, by her vicious course, but at last, with amended life, dying in the hope of a happy future. But the young man was so deeply affected by this knowledge, that his reason for a time was almost over- thrown. The next day, without even in- forming his wife, he left the city for parts unknown. Chang-ed his Mind. A tall and good looking fellow made his appearance before Supervisor Blunt, in New York, intending to volunteer. To all appearance, he was well to do in the world, and, passing through most of the forms usual in enlisting, lie reached the chairman of the committee, of Avhom he expected to get his bounty. At this point another character stepped upon the scene. A tidy looking young woman, who claimed to be, and doubtless was, his wife, appeared unexpectedly before the would- be recruit, and in a modest, yet determined manner, protested against his taking the money. She appealed to him with tears in her eyes, to remain at home with her and the children. "You know, John," said she, " that I am not strong," and her delicate frame indicated this to be true, " and what can I do without you ? How can I take care of and support myself and our three dear, dear children, without you to assist ? The three hundred dollars will soon be gone, and then where shall we be, and you perhaps dead — dead?" Her poor little heart seemed ready to burst with grief, and her sobs were painfully affecting. Flinging herself upon his neck she again exclaimed, " John ! do not, do not leave me." Then she repeated her tale of sorrow, present and prospective, to Mr. Blunt. But John, as most self-willed husbands are, they say, was stoical and indifferent to all these feeling appeals, un- moved and unimpassioned. Mr. Blunt looked on all this, while hesitating what to do. Finally, without paying the bounty, he allowed them both to pass out of the surrounding crowd into the more private apartments provided for the new recruits, there to consult together alone on the sub- ject. With what arguments she assailed her John here, what appeals she made, or what witchery she practised, are not known ; but, like most intelligent women who accompany their strong protestations with a copious flow of tears — real tears — she triumphed at last. She obtained his consent to remain with his fond wife and family. Then they appeared again before Mr. Blunt — she with a triumphant air, and her face all aglow with joyful smiles, he looking as an obedient husband should, resigned and satisfied. She announced that her husband had changed his mind and concluded not to go. The little rogue knew very well that it was she who had changed his mind. He was asked if he had determined not to volunteer. He said he had. " Why ? " says Mr. Blunt. " Why, you see this little natty wife of mine has faii"ly persuaded me out of it, and she Avould control the devil himself, I believe, if he stood in her way." As the enlistment was not consummated fully, the Supervisor allowed him to go, and a happier woman never left the pres- ence of a woman's court than was that young Avife as she passed out of the pres- ence of those who came so near sending her husband to the "front." Husbands, obey your wives. 200 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. Sce.ue of Domestic Sadness : "Woman's Firmness. In a New York village resided a wid- ow named Smith, who had sent four sons to the war, two of whom were minors, leaving behind them only two sisters. After a while two of them returned home, Nathaniel Smith, a member of the Eight- eenth regiment, and the other a member of the Seventh artillery, the latter on a furlough. On Thursday night following this, there was to have been a jubilee at the house of their uncle, given in honor of the boys' return, and they had set off to meet companions, when, unexpectedly, officer Burt stepped up to Nathaniel and arrested him as a deserter. This was so unlooked-for that he almost fainted on the spot. It appears that Nathaniel deserted the regiment just previous to the second Bull Run battle, and since that time had been loitering about Washington and Alexandria, wholly unknown to the au- thorities in those places. Had he enlisted at the breaking out of the rebellion, and had he remained with his regiment he would have been mustered out of service in May. But he deserted eight months before his time was out, and consequently was compelled to make good that loss. After a parley with the officer who arrest- ed him, the latter consented to go with him back to his mother's house, and here a scene ensued which shows the earnest patriotism of a true woman's heart. When taken back to his mother's house as a deserter, and she being informed of the fact, she burst into a flood of tears and said : " I have sacrificed four sons to my coun- try — two minors ; I have buried my hus- band and children ; but I never knew what trouble and grief were before. To have one brought back as a deserter is more — more than I can stand. I do not blame the officers for doing their duty, but I do you for deserting. Go, my soil, you are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh I would rather have seen you brought home as a corpse, than to find you alive, branded as a deserter. But go, my son ; do your duty as a man and a soldier, re- membering that your mother's prayers are with you, and do not come home again un- til you can come as a man who has noth- ing to fear." While his mother was still engaged in talking to him in strains of sorrow and re- gret, his aunt came in — feeble in health, but strong in feeling. Mortified that he had deserted his comrades, she appealed to him as a lover of his country and a member of the family to go back to the army and do his whole duty as a soldier, and not return again until he had served his time out. The mother and aunt's tears were too much for the soldier, for they both wept tears of regret. With their blessings, the soldier left his mother and aunt, promising them henceforth to be a man, a true soldier, and not to return home until discharged. Bounty- Jumper Captured by a Dog - . The good deeds of a dog have more than once had to be put in contrast with the mean tricks of the human kind, and Bounty Jumper captured by a dog, here is an additional illustration of this truth. A man who had in charge a boun- VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 201 ty-jumper, stopped at the Union House, Wheeling, with his prisoner. The man left his charge in the hall in order to look into an adjoining room for a person he wished to see, when the nimble jumper jumped out of the door, upon the side- walk, ran up the street with great rapidi- ty and darted down the alley in the rear of the Union House. A Newfoundland dog — honest patriot ! — observing that the jumper was being followed, with loyal in- stinct joined in the pursuit. The dog soon overtook the fleeing rascal, seized him by the boot leg, and squatted down in the mud. The jumper kicked the dog off, but he had no sooner extricated himself than the faithful animal caught him again, and continued to hang on and delay the cul- prit until his pursuers came up and cap- tured him. Peculiar Question of Bounty. A party of raw recruits — very raw — were on their way home from a tavern in the town of , where they had spent a portion of the evening in revelry, when they brought up at a church where a re- vival was in progress. They marched into the crowded aisle of the sanctuary, and for a few minutes closely observed the minister, who was urging his unconverted hearers to at once " enlist in the army of the Lord i '' , At length the worthy minis- ter, noticing the uniformed men standing in the aisle, approached one of them, who was pretty near oblivious to the scene be- fore him, and remarked — " I am glad to see by your uniform that you are soldiers of your country ! That is right — glorious ! But you should now join the army of the Lord ! " '" Eh ? " queried the soldier, Avhose tav- ern entertainment had put him in such a state that he but imperfectly comprehend- ed the invitation — " eh ? join the Lord's army ? What bounty does he give, eh ? " The minister attempted to explain, but soon gave it up as a bad job, the recruit being really too raw for ' impression.' 13 Be-enlisting, but on a Different Side. Captain Crane, who commanded at Fort Meyers, tells a good story, illustrative of the value of time — in this instance viewed from a military point. When the Captain landed at Fort Meade he found a solitary sentinel marching back and forth, with a chip hat on his head, a dingy blouse on his back, and a double-barreled shot gun across his shoulder. This sentinel march- ed up and down, while Captain Crane and his men were busily removing the stores and doing other things usual on such oc- casions. At length the sentinel looked that way, and called out, " I say, fellows, who in hell are you ? " Captain Crane, with the brevi- ty of a soldier, replied with the one word, " Yanks." " Are you genuine Yanks ? " was the rejoiner. "We are that same," was the answer. The rebel sentinel pass- ed up and down a few times more, and then called out, " I say, fellows, will you allow a fellow to come up to you ? " Cap- tain Crane replied that lie might. At this the sentinel laid down his two barreled gun and went to where the Union men stood,, wlien he again addressed Captain Crane — " Will you allow a fellow to take arms with you ? " The answer was in the af- firmative ; upon which the rebel expressed himself in this manner : " Well, I reckon, my time with old Jeff, is out this day; and, as I don't like to waste time, I will enlist with you." And enlisted he was on the instant. Captain Crane said he had not a better soldier in his corps than the one who thus so readily ' re-enlisted.' This puts one in mind of Sir Walter Scott's Captain Dugald Dalgetty, who, when taken prisoner by the Marquis of Montrose (or Argyle), refused to serve the Covenanters, on th,e ground that he had stipulated to serve the king for the space of six months, but averred that, after his six months had expired he was open to any offer from the most noble marquis. >02 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, Private Notions and Public Laws. Governor Bramlette, of Kentucky, at one time had actually gone so far as to prepare a proclamation calling on the peo- ple of that State to resist by force the ne- gro enrollment. This was before his visit to Washington, and he was only dissuaded from issuing the document through the ap- peals of Rev. Dr. Breckinridge. General Grant treated the matter in his accustom- ed cool and soldierly way. When the General was at Louisville, he said, in re- ply to a distinguished Union man who asked him what he would do if Bramlette and others " made trouble about the en- rollment ? " "Do?" — looking at his in- terrogator a moment with stern surprise — " My God, Sir ! what have I to do with their notions about slaves ? This is a law of Congress. It shall be executed, if I have to bring up the entire army from Chattanooga. Tell them so." Hercules-Africanus going- to the War. A stalwart specimen of colored human- ity, just enlisted for the war, and incased .in a military uniform, — a perfect Hercules in appearance, — was accosted by a gentle- man who happened in his way, and the following conversation took place : " Where did you come from ? " "Lycoming county, sah," replied the candidate for military honors. " What business did you follow ? " "lama raftsman." "Then you are used to pretty hard work ? " " De Lor' knows I is." " Do you feel anxious to go South ? " " De Lor' knows I does." " Do you ever expect to come back ? " " No, sah ; 'xpect to be killed." " You know the rebels will have no mercy on you if they take you a prisoner." " Aint gvvang to be tuk prisoner — am gwang to fight till de bressed life falls out o'me." " Well, you don't intend, if you have the chance, to kill all the white people down south, do you, women and children ? " " Look yere, my chile, you doesn't un- derstand culled folks. We aint gwang to fight anybody, unless they fight us. You doesn't 'spose I is gwang to kill a little baby or a woman ; I is'nt much educated, but I knows de Lor' is above all ; and I knows right from wrong — aint gwang to do nuffin to displease de Lor.' I'm gwang to fight Jeff Davis and his rebels, and I feel as if I could kill ebery one on 'm. I could bite Jeff. Davis to def. I tell you I could lib a week without eating nothing, if that could only gib me a chance to smash the rebels. I tell you, I don't intend to hab much mercy on 'em, nohow." " Suppose a rebel surrendered to you ; what would you do then — would you kill him ? " " I tell you what I'd do under them ar kind of a circumstance. I'd say, look here, Mister Rebel, I'se got you in my power, and could smash you, but I aint gwang to do it ; but I'm gwang to tuk you prisoner — and off I'll tote him ; you bet- ter believe it." War's doings to One Family. There arrived, one day, at the sanitary rooms, a woman with the remains of her son, who had served in the army three years, and who, had he lived a few months longer, would have been sixteen years of age. The circumstances of this case show the doings of war in one family. In August, 1861, being then twelve years old, James Henry , enlisted as drummer in the Seventeenth New Hamp- shire regiment, where he served fourteen months* He then re-enlisted, and served nine months in the Nineteenth New Hamp- shire regiment ; and again, in January, 1864, enlisted for three years in the First Maine Heavy Artillery. He died in March, at Fort Sumner Hospital. The mother stated that this boy, who was evi- dently her pet — her Benjamin — had been the first of the family to enlist ; shortly VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 203 after, his father enlisted, served a year in the Tenth Maine regiment, and died at Lynchburg. In the same month of the father's death, another son enlisted, in the Seventeenth Maine regiment, was in bat- tle at Gettysburg, and was never heard from again. During the. same year, too, the third and last son enlisted in the Eleventh United States regulars, was wounded in the head at Gettysburg, discharged for permanent disability, becoming imbecile in consequence of his wound. The care of the mother, and of an infirm grand- parent, and of an imbecile brother, had fallen upon the little drummer-boy. Being small of stature, besides his extreme youth, he could not earn a man's wages, and therefore proposed re-enlisting. His mother had her forebodings, and remon- strated ; but he reminded her of his for- mer good fortune, of the bounty money, of a time when the war should be over, and every thing be all right. She consented. He served two months, and here were his ashes ! The mother behaved with Roman firmness. She would not say that she regretted giving up her all to the Avar : " The country needed them, and it was only right that they should go," was the patriotic language of this American mother. Drawing nearer the fire, she remarked, " I feel chilly ; I sat at the end of the car last night, for the sake of bringing home Jimmy's drum ; I did not like to take so much room by the stove." Ah, that little lone home in Maine, with nothing left in it so dear as Jimmy's silent drum! How many such desolate homes in the land ! " Divil a Macarthy drawn at-all-at-all." The editor of the Oshkosh Northwest- ern attended the drawing of the names for the draft in that district. While watching the progress of the draft, as one by one the names of the honored conscripts were announced, he was much amused by the evolutions of a tall, stalwart son of Erin. He was a man of somewhere about fifty years of age, was dressed in the long- tailed, high-collared coat of the last cen- tury, and, by way of jewelry, carried a 1 gem ' of blackthorn, about the size of a stick of cord-wood, in his right hand. His occupation seemed to consist in address- ing to every comer, the one question : " Do yez think it's fair ? " On an answer given in the affirmative he would eye his shillalah most affectionately, and respond, " Yiz, I think it's fair." A conversation with him proved that his anxiety arose from the fact that he had three sons, all liable to the draft, and he was concerned that they should have fair play. When his own town was being drawn, he stood all alert, listening to the names .as they were read out, and on the list being com- pleted, with a wave of his shillalah and a pigeon-wing that would have done jcredit to a younger man — " Hurroo ! " exclaimed he, " I Know its fair ; divil a Macarthy drawn at-all-at-all; sure, I know its fair .J" ♦ Happy to Make General G-ordon's Acquaint- ance. General Gordon was a strict disciplina- rian, who would never have any words with a private ; and hence a joke. One day, one of the 107th New York Volun- teers got ahead of the brigade, when the General halted him and ordered him back. The soldier stopped, turned around, stared at General Gordon, and replied, " Who are you ? " "I am General Gordon." " Ah, General, I am very happy to make your acquaintance ! " was the complacent an- swer. A roar of laughter burst from the General's staff. Branding Deserters at Castle Thunder. Branding deserters, as performed at Cas- tle Thunder, in Richmond, must be set down as decidedly one of the most beau- tiful of rebel military practices, and as humane as beautiful. The culprit was fastened to a large table, with his face downward, and a large " D " scarred upon his posteriors. A plain bar of iron, about 201 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, an inch in diameter, narrowed down a lit- tle at the point, was heated to incandes- cence, and then used as a sign-painter would use a brush in lettering, only in a very slow and bungling manner. A greasy smoke with a sickly stench arose during the performance of the operation, accom- panied with crackling sounds, and the groans of the victim as the hot iron sank deep into the flesh. On pretense of ren- dering the mark of disgrace plain and in- delible, but in reality to torture the unfor- tunate culprit, the hot iron was drawn many times through the wound, making it larger and deeper, until the victim, unable to endure the excruciation longer, would faint, and be carried away. The opera- tion was always performed by old Pard, the executioner of Kellogg, the greatest demon in human form outside of Pluto's realms. Eager to be a Soldier: Handsome Lizzie. The hospital matron at Benton Bar- racks, St. Louis, one day had the routine of her official duties varied by detecting the form of a young lady in the habili- ments of a young man, the wearer of which was an applicant for enlistment. She was sent to the office of the Depart- ment Provost-Marshal, where she declined to make any statement as to her name, history, etc. At length, however, she concluded to tell her story. Her proper name was Lizzie Cook, and her home lay in Aponoose county, Iowa. Her father was in the First Missouri State Militia, and met his death in a skirmish at Walnut Creek, Linn county, Mo. Her brother held the position of sergeant in the Fifth Kansas. A desire to reach him, and a disgust at the monotony of woman's life, with a wish to serve her country, led her to determine to assume male attire and volunteer as a soldier. She accordingly left her home and pro- ceeded to Keokuk, where she w r orked as house servant for a family needing such help, till she had earned money enough to buy a suit of boys' clothes. She bought and donned them, and as soon as she had done so, started for St. Louis. Here she put up at the Everett House, registering her name as Wm. Ross. In the morning she took the cars for Benton Barracks, and was there proposing to enlist, when, failing to carry out her disguise to the re- quisite degree of nicety, she was detected. Lizzie was a young lady of about twen- ty summers, tall, fine-looking, intelligent, animated in conversation, and expressed a strong desire to shoulder a musket and do with it what she could for the glorious cause of the Union. It was concluded, however, to commend her to the attention of the Union Aid Society, and, greatly to her disappointment, Lizzie was denied the satisfaction of engaging in her country's cause in the way she had marked out. A fine specimen of a whole-hearted, finely formed, patriotic, Western girl, was hand- some Miss Lizzie. Had to Acknowledge the Breed. An old farmer from the West, who knew President Lincoln in by-gone times, called one day to pay his respects at the Presidential mansion. Slapping the Chief Magistrate upon the back, he exclaimed, " Well, old boss, how are you ? " Old Abe, being thoroughly democratic in his ideas, and withal relishing a joke, respond- ed : " So I'm an old hoss, am I ? What kind of a hoss, pray ? " " Why, an old draft-boss, to be sure," was the rejoinder. Old Abe had to acknowledge the breed. "Unquestionably a Hard Case. The following inarticulate certificate got a man a discharge from the draft at Lou- isville. As he could not step squarely, he took the oblique. Puffiness ought to have excused him alone. But to the doc- ument — a model of its kind, as will be seen: " I hereby certify that had one of his feet caught in the cylinder of a threshing machine on the 4th of last Sep- VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 205 tember, and severely injured, particularly the metatarsophalongial articulation of the great toe and a spot on the dorsum of the foot — perhaps the articulation of the cu- baid bone with the scaphoid slightly inter- rupted. I have examined the foot lately, and have no doubt of the truth of his statement when he says he can not step squarely on his foot on account of not be- ing able to bear his weight on the ball of the great toe in walking. There also re- mains a pumness in the region of the in- step. He has hemorrhoids." Poor fellow ! Regimental Clothes-washer for the Six- teenth Illinois. He who gives a little spice to the ordi- nary flatness of camp life loses no friends. Acting upon this idea, a clever joke was perpetrated one dull day, at the expense of Lieutenant C, of the Sixteenth Illi- nois regiment, and a company of recently arrived recruits. The raw recruits, some twenty in num- ber, in a short time after their arrival, wished their linen washed, and made in- quiry of a veteran comrade as to the loca- tion of the quarters of the washerwoman. "We don't keep any washerwoman here," was the reply, " but tLere is a fel- low up in that tent (pointing to Lieutenant C.'s,) who washes for the regiment." Away to their quarters went the boys, gathered up their linen, and in a body re- paired to the tent of the Lieutenant, who unfortunately was not in. The unclean articles were left on his cot, with the names of the owners attached to each bun- dle. Whether Lieutenant C. w r ashed the clothes or returned them to their owners, is a question by no means so difficult of an answer as ' Who struck Billy Patter- Sixteen Brothers in One Regiment. Perhaps no incident in the way of prac- tical family patriotism, bearing upon the war of the rebellion, was more remarkable than the following : One of the companies connected with the Ohio regiments raised at the commencement of the Avar contained sixteen brothers by the name of Finch, res- idents of Dayton, Ohio. They were born in Durkheim, Germany, the family num- bering in all nineteen children — sixteen being boys, all of whom enlisted as soldiers for the defence of their adopted country, in the regiment named above. Their parents had taken up their residence in New York, and their children obtained leave to visit them in Philadelphia. Such an instance as this is certainly without a parallel in the annals of war. Fiction left in the Shade— the Corporal of the Tenth Connecticut. There was in the Second Connecticut regiment, before Richmond, a Corporal, the story of whose life outdid romance itself, and even left fiction in the shade. Seven years previously and more he enlisted into the British army in York. His first night as a recruit he passed with a fellow Ger- man, who had also just enlisted, and the two talked together as countrymen thus situated would be likely to. The next day they left for London, and there they were separated. Time passed on. This soldier was ordered to India. He was nearly five years in service. Receiving his discharge, he returned to England, shipped on a ves- sel for Norway, was, later, on a Norwegian vessel, and in that was shipwrecked on the coast of Sweden ; barely escaping with his life, he went to Wales ; again, he was on a Prussian vessel ; he visited Constantino- ple, Odessa, and the West Indies. Coming to New York, he was, after one or two brief voyages, led to Connecticut. Enlisting there, he joined his regiment at Gloucester Point, and was subsequently in all the battles of the army of the James. One day — or night, — in the winter of 1864, while Corporal of the guard, he was call- ing the relief at midnight ; in passing a tent he heard a voice, the peculiar tones of which attracted his special attention and revived remembered associations of that 206 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION, first night as a recruit in old York, more than seven years before. He was sure that the voice was that of his then com- panion, and inquiry proved him not mis- taken in his belief. Strange meeting — that of these two men ! His comrade's experience had been hard- ly less varied than his own. After several years' service on special duty in Great Britain, he also had taken to the sea. Coming to America, the opening of the war had found him at the South, and there he joined the Confederate army. For a time he was an orderly of a well-known Confederate General, and as such he on one occasion carried messages back and forth in a battle where the Tenth Connec- ticut fought prominently and victoriously. Later, he escaped from Charleston to the Federal gunboats, and after various expe- riences at Morris Island, Hilton Head and in New York, entered the Union army as a substitute, and there he found himself in the very regiment before the pressure of whose gallant charge he had two years be- fore fled in precipitous haste after his chiv- alrous and fleet-footed commander, on a battlefield in another State ; and now his voice was recognized and his name was called by a fellow-countryman who had been for a single night his comrade in the long gone years in a distant land. "Would it be strange if he rubbed his eyes and asked if it were all a dream ? and he drove them to town in his carriage on their way to Baltimore, after fitting them out quite liberally. He subsequently came to the city and went to Camp Birney, to get his certificates for the three hundred dollars substitute money for each slave, and to grant his obligation to free them when the State laws would allow him to do so. The slaves met him, on this visit, as affec- tionately and demonstratively as sons could meet a father. Maryland Slaveholder Driving: his Slaves to the Recruiting- Office. When the recruiting ball for the Union ranks had been fairly set in motion in Mary- land, a slaveholder in Dorchester county, in that State, said to his slaves one day that they had permission to volunteer in the army if they so desired. He requested them, however, when they had made up their minds really to go, to inform him, and as they had driven him many a time to Cambridge, he would himself drive them in his carriage hither on that important mis- sion. Sure enough they heeded his request, Girl-Boy Drummer. A fair and sprightly girl, of but twelve dimpled summers, and giving the name of Charles Martin, enlisted in one of the Pennsylvania regiments, in the early period of the war, as a drummer boy. She had evidently enjoyed the advantage of educa- tion, could write a good hand, and even composed very well. She made herself useful to officers of the regiment in the capacity of a clerk ; and though involved in the scenes and chances of no less than five battles, she escaped unwounded and unharmed. The officers never dreamed of any hitch as to her sex. After a while, she was taken down sick with the typhoid fever, a disease then quite prevalent in Philadelphia, and was removed to Penn- sylvania Hospital. It was while there that the worthy matron of the institution discovered the drummer boy, who had passed through so many fatigues, perils and rough experiences, to be no more nor less than a girl not yet in her teens. Just the kind of Arms a Young; Quaker Could Bear. Among the drafted men who presented themselves for examination before the re- cruiting Board at Providence, Rhode Island, was a young Quaker, whose conscientious regard for his faith would not allow him to send a substitute, or purchase a discharge, or take any personal part in bearing arms himself. But he proved a clear case of exemption from military duty under the law, as made and provided, and was dis- VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC 207 charged accordingly. Soon after the case had been decided, and before the young Friend had left the room, a letter came directed to the Board, and was opened by the officer. It proved to be an appeal in behalf of the young man, in a most deli- cate " hand of writ," and couched in most pure and winsome language. The com- missioner playfully submitted the letter to the inspection of the young man, who with unfeigned surprise marked the well-known tracery of a dear young Friend who, on the next " Firstday," in open meeting, would surrender to him " arms " that he could bear conscientiously. about twelve or thirteen years of age. Her story was soon told. She was from East Tennessee, where her husband had been killed by the rebels, and all their property destroyed. She had come to St. Louis in search of her sister, but not finding her, and being destitute of money, she thought if she could procure a situa- tion for her boy as a drummer, for the short time the company had to remain in the service, she could find employment for Tender in Years but Strong 1 in his Devotion to bis Country. Edward Lee, or " Little Eddie," as he was dotingly called, will never be forgot- ten among the reminiscences of Wilson's Creek, in the winter of 1861. A few days before the First Iowa regiment re- ceived orders to join General Lyon, on his march to Wilson's Creek, the drummer of one of the companies was taken sick and conveyed to the hospital. On the evening preceding the day of the march, a negro was arrested within the lines of the camp — Camp Benton — and brought before the Captain, who asked him : " What business have you within the lines ?" " I know a drummer," he replied, " that you would like to enlist in your company, and I have come to tell you of it." He was immediately requested to in- form the drummer that if he w r ould enlist for their short time of service, he would be allowed extra pay, and to do this, he must be on the ground early in the morn- ing. The negro was then passed beyond the guard. On the following morning there appeared before the Captain's quarters during the beating of the reveille,, a good-looking, middle-aged woman, dressed in deep mourning, and leading by the hand a sharp, sprightly-looking boy, apparently Tender in years but strong in devotion to his country. herself, and perhaps find her sister by the time the men -were discharged. During the rehearsal of her story the little fellow kept his eyes intently fixed upon the countenance of the Captain, who was about to express a determination not to take so small a boy, when he spoke out : " Don't be afraid, Captain, I can drum." This was spoken with so much confidence, that the Captain immediately observed, with a smile, " Well, well, Ser- geant, bring the drum, and order our fifer to come forward." In a few moments the drum was produced, and the fifer, a tall, round-shouldered, good natured fellow, from the Dubuque mines, who stood, when erect, something over six feet in height, soon made his appearance. Upon being uitror- 208 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. duced to his new colleague, or comrade, lie stooped down, with his hands resting upon his knees, that were thrown forward into an acute angle, and after peering into the little fellow's face a moment, he ob- served : " My little man, can you drum ? " cc Yes, Sir," he replied, " I drummed for Captain Hill, in Tennessee." The fifer immediately commenced straight- ening himself upward until all the angles in his person had disappeared, when he placed his fife in his mouth, and played the " Flowers of Edenhorough," one of the most difficult things to follow with the drum that could have been selected, and nobly did the little fellow follow him, showing him elf to be a master of the drum. When the music ceased, the Cap- tain turned to the mother and observed : " Madam, I will take your boy. What is his name ? " " Edward Lee," she replied ; then plac- ing her hand upon the Captain's arm, she continued, "Captain, if he is not killed " here her maternal feelings over- came her utterances, and she bent down over her boy and kissed him upon the forehead. As she arose, she observed : " Captain, you will bring him back with you, won't you ? " " Yes, yes, we will be certain to bring him back with us. We shall be discharged in six weeks." In an hour after, that company led the Iowa First out of camp, the drum and fife playing, "The Girl I left behind me." Eddie, as he was called, soon became a great favorite with all the men in the com- pany. When any of the boys had returned from a " horticultural excursion," Eddie's share of the peaches and melons Avas the wH3t apportioned; and during the heavy and fatiguing march from Rolla to Spring- field, it was often amusing to see that long- legged fifer wading through the mud with the little drummer mounted upon his back — and always in that position when fording streams. .But, though thus far sunny and unscathed in his military career, the dark side of the picture was soon to be turned to Eddie's gaze. Says a comrade : — During the fight at Wilson's Creek I was stationed with a part of our company on the right of Totten's battery, while the balance of our company, with a part of the Illinois regiment, was ordered down into a deep ravine upon our left, in which it was known a portion of the enemy was concealed, and with whom they were soon engaged. The contest in the ravine con- tinued some time. Totten suddenly wheel- ed his battery upon the enemy in that quarter, when they soon retreated to the high ground beyond their lines. In less than twenty minutes after Totten had driven the enemy from the ravine, the word passed from man to man throughout the army, " Lyon is killed ! " and soon after, hostilities having ceased upon both sides, the order came for our mam force to fall back upon Springfield, while a part of the Iowa First and two companies of the Missouri regiment were to camp upon the ground and cover the retreat next morn- ing. That night I was detailed for guard duty, my turn of guard closing with the morning call. When I went out with the officer as relief, I found that my post Avas upon a high eminence that overlooked the deep ravine in which our men had engaged the enemy, until Totten's battery came to their assistance. It was a dreary, lone- some beat. The moon had gone doAvn in the early part of the night, Avhile the stars tAvinkled dimly through a hazy atmosphere, lighting up imperfectly the surrounding objects. Occasionally I would place my ear near the ground and listen for the sound of footsteps, but all Avas silent save the far off howling wolf, that seemed to scent upon the evening air the banquet that we had been preparing for him. The hours passed sloAvly aAvay, Avhen at length the morning light began to streak along the eastern sky. Presently I heard a drum beat up the morning call. At first I VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 209 thought it came from the camp of the en- emy across the creek ; but as I listened, I found that it came up from the deep ra- vine ; for a few minutes it was silent, and then as it became more light I heard it again. I listened — the sound of the drum was familiar to me — and I knew that it was our Drummer boy from Tennessee Beating for help the reveille. I was about to desert my post to go to his assistance, when I discovered the offi- cer of the guard approaching with two men. We all listened to the sound, and were satisfied that it was Eddie's drum. I asked permission to go to his assistance. The officer hesitated, saying that the orders were to march in twenty minutes. I prom- ised to be back in that time, and he con- sented. I immediately started down the hill through the thick undergrowth, and upon reaching the valley I followed the sound of the drum and soon found him seated upon the ground, his back leaning against the trunk of a fallen tree, while his drum hung upon a bush in front of him, reaching nearly to the ground. As soon as he discovered me he dropped his drum-sticks and exclaimed, " O, Corporal, I am so glad to see you. Give me a drink," — reaching out his hand for my can- teen, Avhich was empty. I immediately turned to bring him some water from the brook that I could hear rippling through the bushes near by, when thinking that I was about to leave him, he commenced crying, saying : " Don't leave me, Corpo- ral, I can't walk." I was soon back with the water, when I discovered that both of his feet had been shot away by a cannon ball. After satisfying his thirst, he looked up into my face and said : " You don't think I will die, Corporal, do you ? This man said I would not — he said the surgeon could cure my feet." I now discovered a man lying in the grass near him. By his dress I recog- ! nized him as belonging to the enemy. It appeared that he had been shot through [ I the bowels, and had fallen near where j Eddie lay. Knowing that he could not ! live, and seeing the condition of the boy, he had crawled to him, taken off his buck- skin suspenders,- and corded the little fel- low's legs below the knee, and then lay down and died. While Eddie was telling me these particulars, I heard the tramp of cavalry coming down the ravine, and in a moment a scout of the enemy Avas upon us, and I was taken prisoner. I requested the officer to take Eddie up in front of him, and he did so, carrying him Avith great tenderness and care. When we reached the camp of the enemy the little fellow was dead. No Title of Soldier given to the Devil. Among the multitudinous developments of one kind and another made by the Avar of the rebellion, the light which it has thrown upon certain points and passages of Scripture is not to be reckoned as in- significant. At the funeral of an army Sergeant in the Federal ranks, Avho Avas murdered, Rev. Mr. Ilealitt, avIio preach- ed the funeral sermon, said he Avould not call the murderer a soldier, because the Avord soldier Avas an honorable title, borne by Joshua and David and others men- tioned in the Bible ; he Avished every one to remember that the devil is nowhere in Scripture called by the honorable title of soldier — a fact of no mean bearing upon the course of those Avho enlisted in the army of the Union to put down a sectional rebellion. " Sweet Sixteen " on the Male Side, and a " Darling-" too. A lad of less than sixteen years, named Darling, from Pittsfield, Mass., enlisted in the early period of the Avar in Captain Cromw ell's company, in the Northern Black Horse Cavalry. On learning that he had a sick mother at home, Avho Avas sadly afflicted at his departure, the Cap- tain discharged the youngster and sent him home, as the brave lad supposed on a furlough. The Captain received the foL 210 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION. lowing acknowledgment of his kindness from the sister of the " bold soldier boy." It is certainly worth reading : Pittsfield, Mass., Oct. 20, 1861. Captain Cromwell — Dear Sir : My brother, David H. Darling, a lad of six- teen, left home and joined your command without the consent or even knowledge of our parents. I went from school to see him last Thursday, and stated these facts to your second lieutenant. Our young sol- dier returned home Friday, on furlough, as he supposed, and seeing the effect of his conduct upon my mother and a sick sister, gave his consent to remain. But he is very much afraid you will think that he did not promise to return in good faith, or, to use his own term, that he has " backed out," so he made me promise, before I returned, that I would explain it to you. This, then, "is to certify," gentlemen, that the young Darling aforesaid has not abated his desire in the least degree to serve his country under your especial guidance, although he has consented to de- vote himself in the more humble capacity of staying at home and minding his mother. Having reached the advanced age of six- teen, he possesses the strength of Her- cules, and sagacity of Tacinaque, Agulier's bravery, and the patriotism of Washing- ton, whom you have probably heard men- tioned before. Would that he could add to these a few of Methuselah's superfluous years, for youth, though no crime, is very inconvenient in his case. Of course, the advancement of the Black Horse Cavalry is materially retarded, and its glory dim- med for a season ; but wherever you are at the end of two years, he is determined to join you. If thou wouldst take me in his place, I would be very happy to go. I believe not only in this war, but fighting in general, and think that if women were permitted to use ' knock down arguments,' it would civilize not only their mutual re- lations, but also their treatment of your much abused sex. Meantime, awaiting thy orders, I am respectfully thine, Jennie Darling. P. S. — If you are married, please hand this over to your Second Lieutenant. J. D. So much for Jennie. The Captain's response to this winsome epistle, failed, alas ! to greet the public eye. Sharp Practice among "Volunteers. That all the rogues were not in the army nor out of the State Prison was very clearly made to appear — and by the following fact among others, the scene of which was New York city. Mr. Blunt, the head of the Committee on Drafting in that city, took in multitudes of volunteers — black and white — paying the three hun- dred dollars, without being able to deter- mine whether they were, in all cases, hon- est and acquainted with their catechism. One was taken of this class, who appeared especially loose on both those points. A black fellow, who had been enlisted for the navy and received his three hundred dol- lars, applied in the course of an hour or so to Mr. B. for the privilege of putting his money into the savings bank. It was of course granted. The Supervisor, on counting over the darkey's money, found that there was only two hundred and thirty-five dollars. "Where is the rest of it?" says Mr. Blunt. " Dat's all," says Snowball. " No, it's not all. You have sixty-five dollars more. Turn your pockets wrong side out." Darkey complied, but not another green- back was found. This Avas a staggerer, for Blunt well knew he had paid him three hundred dollars. "Now, you horse marine," says the chairman, " what have you done with the balance of your money ? — here are some notes I never gave you." " Well, Massa Cap'n, I didn't do noffm VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 211 with 'em greenbacks ; I jis ask a feller in dare to change me one hundred dollar bill, and de sailor he did it ; and dat are is de money." " Ah, ha ! " says B., " Bring out that fellow." Wide trowsers came out, looking very innocent. His money, too, was examined, and sure enough, there lay ensconced the identical sixty-five dollars the darkey was minus of. " How is this ? " says Mr. B. " Well, you see, Boss, that piece of eb- ony wanted me to change one hundred dollars for him, and I did it , but I ain't very good at cyphering, and I rather guess I counted wrong. Here's your dust, old boy ; let's tack ship and put back to port." This impudent piece of rascality was corrected by the Supervisor, the darkey's money banked, and the parties again turn- ed into their quarters. "How are ycm, Conscript?" Not the least singular among the great variety of incidents in connection with the draft, is the following, which occurred among the good citizens of Vigo county, in the State of Indiana. During the draw- ing for one of the sub-districts of that region, the pi-oceedings were watched with eager interest by at least one person, a " patriotic " resident of the locality under draft. As the names were drawn he be- trayed considerable nervousness — was par- ticularly anxious about the price of sub- stitutes, and thought it the duty of all " veterans " to re-enlist. Finally, impa- tient under such critical suspense, and un- able longer to control his anxiety, he made bold to ask permission of Colonel Thomp- son, the provost-marshal, to place his hand in the box, and draw forth the unfortunate prize. The Colonel, with his accustomed suavity and willingness to accommodate, kindly granted the request. The individ- ual accordingly reached forth his hand, placed it in the box, and drew forth a card on which was written — his own name ! That his curiosity was now fully satisfied, was no matter of doubt ; and the good- humored salutation of " How are you, con- script?" regaled his patriotic ear from every quarter. Nasby's Reasons why he should not be Drafted. Petroleum V. Nasby, in order to place himself in his proper position before the public, felt called upon to give his reasons — weighty and cogent ones, too, — why he should not be drafted. Says he : — I see in the papers last nite, that the government haz institooted a draft, that in a few weeks hundreds uv thousands uv peaceable citizens will be dragged to the tented feeld. I know not wat uthers may do, but ez fer me, I can't go. Upon a rigid eggsaminashun uv my fizzikle man, 1 find it wooed be wus ner madnis fer me 2 undertake a campane, to wit : 1. I'm bald-heded, and hev bin obliged to ware a wig these 22 years. 2. I hev dandruff in wat scanty hair still hangs round my venerable temples. 8. I hev a kronic katarr. 4. I hev lost, since Stanton's order to draft, the use uv one eye entirely, and hev kronic inflammashun in the other. 5. My teeth is all unsound, my palit ain't eggsactly rite, and I hev hed bron- keetis 31 yeres last Joon. At present I hev a koff, the paroxisms uv which is frightful 2 behold. 6. I'm holler chestid, and short-winded, and hev alius hed panes in my back and side. 7. I'm afflicted with kronic diarrear and kostivniss. The money I hev paid fer Jayneses karminnytive balsam and pills wooed astonish almost ennybody. 8. I am rupchured in 9 places, and am entirely enveloped with trusses. 9. I hev varrykose vanes, hev a white swellin on wun leg and a fever sore on the uther — also wun leg is shorter than tot her, though I handle it so expert that nobody never noticed it. 212 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. 10. I hev korns and bunyuns on both ] feet, which wooed prevent me from marchin. I don t suppose that my political opin- ions, which are ferninst the prosekooshun uv this unconstitooshnel Avar, wooed hev enny wate with a draflin osifer, but the above reasons why I can't go, will, I maik no doubt, be suffishent. Clever Use of the Countersign. During the fight at Gauley Bi-idge, Vir- ginia, on the 10th of November, 1861, a glorious instance of personal bravery was afforded in the conduct of Sergeant Car- ter, of Tippecanoe, Ohio. The Sergeant was upon the post first attacked by the Confederates. The advance guard of the Second Virginia, consisting of twelve men, came suddenly upon him and his three companions. The bright moonlight re- vealed the flashing bayonets of the ad- vancing regiment. He was surrounded and separated from his reserve. With great presence of mind he stepped out and challenged, "Halt! Who goes there?" The advance guard of the Second Virgin- ia, consisting of twelve men, supposing that they had come upon a scouting party of their own men, answered, " Friends, with the countersign." At his order, " Advance one, and give the countersign," they hesitated. He re- peated the order peremptorily, " Advance and give the countersign, or I'll blow you through." They answered, without advanc- ing, " Mississippi." " Where do you be- long?" he demanded. "To the Second Virginia regiment." ' 4 Where are you going ? " " Along the ridge." They then in turn questioned him, " Who are you ? " " That's* my own busi- ness," he answered, and taking deliberate aim he shot down his questioner. He called for his boys to follow him, and leap- ed down a ledge of rock, while a full vol- ley went over his head. He heard his companions summoned to surrender, and the order given to the Major to advance with the regiment. Several started in pursuit of him. He had to descend the hill on the side toward the enemy's camp. While he eluded Ins pursuers, he found himself hi a new danger. He had gotten within the enemy's camp pickets ! He had, while running, torn the ' U. S.' from his cartridge box, and covered his belt plate with his cap box, and torn the stripe from his pantaloons. He was challenged by their sentinels while making his way out, and answered, giving the countersign, " Mississippi," Second Virginia regiment. They asked him what he was doing there. He said that the boys had gone off on a scout after the Yankees ; that he had been detained in camp, and in trying to find them had got bewildered. As he passed through, to prevent further questioning, he said, " Our boys are up on the ridge, — which is the best way up ? " They an- swered, " Bear to the left, and you'll find it easier to climb." Soon again his pur- suers were after him, as he expressed it, " breaking brush behind him." This time, with a hound on his trail, he made his way to a brook, and running down the shallow stream, threw the dog off the scent, and as the day was dawning he came suddenly upon four pickets, who brought their arms to a ready, and chal- lenged him. He gave the countersign " Mississippi ;" claimed to belong to the Second Virginia. His cap box had slipped from his belt plate. They asked him where he got that belt. He told them he had captured it that night from a Yankee. They told him to advance, and as he ap- proached, he recognized their accoutre- ments and kneAV he was among his own men, & picket guard from the First Ken- tucky. He was taken before Colonel En- gart and dismissed to his regiment. When the brave fellow was asked what was his motive in halting a whole column of the enemy, he said his plan was to give inti- mation to the reserve, of their advance, that they might open upon them on their left flank, and so, perhaps, arrest their progress. If ever a fellow escaped by the skin of VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC, 213 his teeth, from his enemies — and if ever a brave fellow deserved to — that man was the gallant Sergeant Carter. It was a courageous thing to obtain the countersign, and nothing but his courage made it after- wards available. Bridegroom and Volunteer the same Night. Crime and outrage, in all their various phases, are the concomitants of war. An illustration in point is afforded in the ad- ventures of an ex- Confederate soldier from Alabama, the scene of his exploits being in Chicago, Illinois. It seems that one day a young man waited upon the police authorities at the central station in that city, to obtain advice in a search for his sister, a young girl of seventeen years, who had fled from Oshkosh, Wisconsin, to Chicago, after having fallen a victim to the wiles of a seducer. On this representa- tion being made, one of the detectives took charge of the case, and in the course of time found the girl living with an Ala- bamian, of the name of Jones. The offi- cer arrested both of them, and then called in the brother, the interview resulting in a refusal on the girl's part to leave Jones, and Jones not only refused to leave her, but expressed his willingness to marry her at once. In addition to his offer of mar- riage, the man proposed to enlist in the Federal army as- a substitute, and leave the money with his bride. The brother was satisfied with this proposition, and the ex- rebel Jones, having become a virtuous Jones, instantly fulfilled his promise, — a justice of the peace performing the mar- riage ceremony. Jones thereupon went to a recruiting office, enlisted, received two hundred and fifty dollars bounty money, paid it over plumply to the brother, and left Chicago the same night for Springfield, to be assigned to a regiment. The bridegroom declared that he did not mind what regiment he entered, so long as he avoided being sent into Virginia, where, he stated, he was so well known that if captured he would assuredly be hung. Snak=d Away, and Drummed In. One of the " sufferers" at Camp Denni- son, which for a time was used for the care of the sick and wounded, was an Irish soldier. The attendant approached him and said : " Well, Sir, what's the matter with you ? " " Wounded, Sir ; slight wound in the groin — worse one in the heel." " Where were you wounded ? " " Pittsburg Landing, Sir." " What part of the battle ? " " Second fire of the last round, Sir." Snaked away and drummed in. " What, Monday ? Why it was rather hard, wasn't it ; to fight two days and then get hurt at the very last ? " " Devil a two days did I fight at all • Sir." " Why, how was that ? " " Why, you see, Sir, I didn't know what I was fighting for, and I didn't want to blow a fellow creature's brains out without knowing what I was blowing 'em out for, d'ye see ; no more did I want a fellow creature to blow my brains out without knowing what they was blown out for — so, Sir, I just snaked away Sir ! But on Monday they found me, Sir, and drum- med me in." He was from Texas. 214 THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. Melancholy End of Johnson, the Deserter. The execution of poor Johnson, for the crime of desertion, constituted a melan- choly page in the history of the army in Virginia. Of this crime, the unfortunate culprit said : I had not the slightest in- tention of deserting, up to a few minutes before I started in the direction of the enemy's lines. The way I came to leave our army was this ■ I was on the outposts, and after dinner, when watering my horse, I thought I would go to the first house on the Braddock road and get a drink of milk. When I rode up to the house I saw a man and a boy. I asked the man for some milk, and he said he had none ; and to my enquiry as to where I could get some, he said he did not know except T should go some distance further on. I said I thought it would be dangerous to go far, and he remarked that none of the rebels had been seen in that vicinity for some time. It was then that I conceived the idea of deserting. I thought I could ride right up to the rebel pickets and in- side the enemy's line, go and see my mother in New Orleans, stay for a few weeks in the South, and then be able to get back to our regiment again, perhaps with som/3 valuable information. I never had any idea of going over to the rebels, and as it is I would rather be hung on a tree than go and join the rebel army. I don't see what under heaven put it into my head to go away. I acted upon the im- pulse of the moment. When the man at the house said none of the enemy had been seen lately in that vicinity, I asked where it was that the five rebels I had heaixl of had been seen some time ago, and he said it was at the round house on the left hand side of the road. I asked him where the road led to. He said to Centreville, and so I went that way. Riding along on the Braddock road, some miles beyond our pickets, I suddenly came across Colonel Taylor, of the Third New Jersey regiment, with his scouting party. I thought they were the rebels, but at first was so scared that I did not know what to say. However, I asked him who they were, and he said they were the enemy. Said I to him, " I'm all right, then." " Why so ? " said he. " Because we are all friends," said I ; " I am rebel too — I want to go down to New Orleans to see my mother." Then he asked me how our pickets were stationed. I told him two of our compa- nies which had been out went in that day toward the camps. He asked if I thought he could capture any of them, and I told him I did not think he could. He asked why, and I replied that there were a num- ber of mounted riflemen around. The head scout asked me what kind of arms the Lincoln men received, and at the same time said, " Let me see your pistol." I handed him my revolver. Colonel Taylor took it, and cocking it, said to me, " Dismount, or I will blow your brains out." I was so much frightened I thought my brains had been blown out already. I dismounted, delivered up my belt and sa- bre, while at the same time they searched my pockets, but there was nothing in them except a piece of an old New York Ledg- er, I believe. Then he tied my hands be- fore me, and sent me back to camp in charge of three men, besides another who took my horse. Johnson, was duly tried by court-martial and found guilty. The place chosen for his execution was a spacious field near the Fairfax Seminary. The Provost-Mar- shal, mounted and wearing a crimson scarf across his breast, led the mournful cortege. He was immediately followed by the buglers of the regiment, four abreast, dismounted. Then came the twelve men — one from each company in the regiment, selected by ballot, — who constituted the firing party. The arms, Sharps ' breech-loading rifle, had been pre- viously loaded under the direction of the VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 215 Marshal. One was loaded with a blank cartridge, according to the usual custom, so that neither of the men could positively- state that the shot from his rifle killed the unfortunate man. The coffin, which was of pine wood stained, and without any in- scription, came next, in a one-horse wagon. Immediately behind followed the doomed man, in an open wagon. About five feet six inches in height, with light hair and whiskers, his eyebrows joining each other, Johnson indeed presented a most forlorn appearance. He was dressed in cavalry uniform, with the regulation overcoat and black gloves. He was supported by Father McAfee, who was in constant con- versation with him, while Father "Willett rode behind on horseback. The rear was brought up by Company C, of the Lincoln Cavalry, forming the escort. Arriving on the ground at half-past three o'clock, the musicians and the escort took a position a little to the left, while the crim- inal descended from the wagon. The coffin was placed on the ground, and he took his position beside it. The firing party was marched up to within six paces of the prisoner, who stood between the clergy- men. The final order of execution was then read to the condemned. While the order was being read, John- son stood with his hat on, his head a little inclined to the left, and his eyes fixed in a steady gaze on the ground. Near the close of the reading, one of his spiritual attendants whispered something in his ear. Johnson had expressed a desire to say a few final words before he should leave this world to appear before his Maker. He was conducted close to the firing party, and in an almost inaudible voice, spoke as follows : " Boys, — I ask forgiveness from Al- mighty God and from my fellow-men for what I have done. I did not know what I was doing. May God forgive me, and may the Almighty keep all of you from all such sin." He Avas then placed beside the coffin i again. The troops were witnessing the whole of these proceedings with the intens- | est interest. Then the Marshal and the , chaplains began to prepare the culprit for 1 his death. He was too weak to stand. He sat down on the foot of the coffin. ! Captain Boyd then bandaged his eyes with a white handkerchief. A few minutes of painful suspense intervened while the Catholic clergymen were having their final interview with the unfortunate man. All being ready, the Marshal waved his hand- kerchief as the signal, and the firing party discharged the volley. Johnson did not move, remaining in a sitting posture for several seconds after the rifles were dis- charged. Then he quivered a little, and fell over beside his coffin. He w r as still alive, however, and the four reserves were called to complete the work. It was found that two of the firing party, Ger- mans, had not discharged their pieces, and they were immediately put in irons. Johnson w r as shot several times in the heart by the first volley. Each of the four shots fired by the reserves took effect in his head, and he died instantly. One penetrated his chin, another his left cheek, while two entered the brain just above the left eyebrow. The troops then all marched round, and each man looked on the bloody corpse of his misguided comrade. Maternal Love and. Patriotic Duty. An old lady residing in Johnstown, ' Cambria county, Penn., had an only son, a strapping minor, to whom she "was most warmly attached. This lad, however, 1 having some of the war fever in him, was induced to join a corps from the mountains, and, hoping to deceive the old lady, he invented a very plausible tale, and came away. The love of the mother was, how- ever, too great to be deceived, and after a week had elapsed, the true story was revealed to her. She started upon the ' railroad with a bundle and a small sum of money, and walked to Harrisburg alone, 216 THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION. — a distance of more than one hundred and fifty miles. At Harrisburg she took the train, and her money carried her to Downington, where she again resumed her tramp, and turned up, much to the lad's astonishment, at Camp Coleman, near Frankford. There the old lady, utterly wearied out, fell sick, and the men, hear- ing of the case, made up a collection, and provided her a bed and attendance in the neighborhood. But her strength revived with her anxiety, and she proceeded to the railroad with her boy, and kissed him a good-bye at the cars, with the tears falling free and warm upon her cheeks. Distribution cf his Bounty. The better part of man's nature as well as its worst features, could be seen very palpably in the volunteering room, as the following among many kindred instances will show. A whole family, mother and five children, led by their stalwart head, the husband and father, presented them- selves one day to Supervisor Blunt, in New York city, for the six hundred dol- lars bounty, he, the husband, having just been examined and mustered in as a recruit. It was a large family and a sorrowful one — all except the little tow-headed fel- low in its mother's arms, who was leaping and crowing as though he really thought it was excellent fun, a capital joke. The family appeared like a respectable one, though the hand of poverty evidently rested heavily upon it, and this, most likely, was the last resort, the last hope, the throwing of one overboard to save the rest. As Mr. Blunt counted the money — one, two, three, four, five, six hundred dollars, and presented it, a kind of sickly, faint smile was visible through the unbidden tears which were coursing down the vol- unteer's cheeks ; for his time, he knew, with his family — its joys and hopes — was now about up. His children were cling- ing to his legs, begging him not to leave them ; his wife, too full to speak, looked unutterable griefs, and clung all the closer to her babe. The money was all right; he held it in his hand — more than he had owned at once, perhaps, dur- ing all his lifetime. Said he — " God bless you, wife and children ; we must now part, perhaps forever. This money, "wife, is yours — but let me give some to each ; it will gratify me, and will go to you whenever you are in want of it. Here, wife, is one hundred dollars for you ; may heaven bless it and you ! Here, Billy, is one hundred dollars for you ; be good and true to your mother, and, as you are the oldest, watch faithfully over your brothers and sisters. James, here is one hundred dollars for you ; give it to your mother whenever she wants it. Mary, take this one hundred dollars, be a good girl, and in your prayers remember your father. Come here, my pet Alice, here is one hundred dollars for you to keep until good mamma requires it And now, my little toad without a name — yes, let us call him Hope ; do you say so, wife ?'" It was assented to. " Then here, you little crowing cock, — bless the little fellow ! I may never see him again. Kiss me, boy. Here, put this hundred dollars in your little hand, and don't eat it, but pass it over to your mother as soon as possible.'' The noble-hearted fellow's heavy frame seemed to quiver all over as he finished his distribution and knew that his time had come. He embraced each and all sepa- rately, and declared himself ready to go. " But," says Mr. Blunt, " there is an- other hundred dollars coming to you — the hand money. Who brought you here ! " " That wee bit of a babe, your honor ; I'd never come in the world had it not been for that dear babe." " Well, then, the hand money or pre- mium belongs to him ! " ' k Bless me, is it so? Wife, put that one hundred dollars into the savings bank for Hope, and never touch it if you can help it — if you can help it, mind — until VOLUNTEERING, DRAFTING, DESERTING, ETC. 217 he comes of age. God bless the little fel- low ! He starts well in the world, after all, and may yet be President. The man stepped upon the platform of the turnstile, and was whirled in out of sight of the world and all he loved. Tenderness of the President toward the Lowly. A woman in a faded shawl and hood, somewhat advanced in life, Avas admitted one day, in her turn, to see President Lin- coln, in his office. Her husband and three sons, all she had hi the world, had enlisted in the war. But her husband having lost his life in the service, she had come to ask the President to release to her the oldest son. Being satisfied of the truthfulness of her story, he said, " Certainly, if her prop was taken away she was justly entitled to one of her boys." He immediately wrote an order for the discharge of the young man. The poor woman thanked him very gratefully, and went away. On reaching the army she found that this son had been in a re- cent engagement, was wounded and taken to a hospital. She found the hospital, but Tenderness of the President toward the Lowly. the boy was dead, or died while she was there. The surgeon in charge made a memorandum of the facts upon the back of the President's order, and, almost bro- ken-hearted, the poor woman found her way again into his presence. He was 14 much affected by her appearance and storj% and said, " I know what you wish me to do now, and I shall do it without your asking ; I shall release to you your second son." Upon this he took up his pen and com- menced writing the or