DEUTSGHLAND UBER IRELAND AND OTHER POEMS BY HARRY E. PICKENBACH Price 25 Cents DEUTSCHLAND UBER IRELAND and other poems By HARRY E. PICKENBACH Copyright 1918 by HARRY E. PICKENBACH West Orange, N. J. ^^ ^5 ©CI.A481392 m I2!8i8 ib-^' V* DEUTSCHLAND UBER IRELAND or DIE WACHT AM RYAN Sure, what's ailin' with Cohalan And his comrades in New York? "Is the German cause a f ailin'?" Comes the cry from County Cork. Then up spakes Jerry Meyer Of the Ku Klux Kaiser Klan, "The Von Learys never tire, And they fight as Germans can." AVhen Billy O'Henzollern Ascends the Irish throne, Every harp in dear owld Ireland, From Galway to Tyrone, Will play "Die'Wacht am Ryan" And "The Wearin' of the Griin," And horns will toot like Teutons toot- And toot "God Save the Queen." From Ireland the "ire" Will seek the meltin' pot, And be lost in German fire While the Kaiser's stove is hot ; And toasts will be a drinkin' In the Clan-a-Gael Verein To Alt Heidelberg in Sligo, And to Limerick on the Rhine. The big and little bosses, From Kerry to Kildare, Will all wear Iron Crosses Like the O'HenzoUerns wear. Irish-German, German-Irish, From Kiel to Donegal, Sure they'll "double up" in Dublin With the "double cross" for all. McHindenburg, O'Tirpitz, Fitz Burns-Duff and the rest. Will march through Tipperary With a shamrock on each breast ; And Mickey Michaelis, The Kaiser's faithful "mouse," Will tell in German-Gaelic How Britannia got the "raus." PERHAPS ! But Billy O'Henzollern Has rickets in his throne. His "Kaiser Bund von Erin" Is in the Danger Zone. He'll never land at Belfast Upon an even keel; He's sailin' straight for Helfast, With Satan at the wheel. For every Herr von Leary, And Herr Cohalan, too, He'll find ten thousand Irish Who are true red, white and blue. They know the "bunk" and "blarney" Of Billy von Potsdam; And from 'Frisco to Killarney Sure they'll stand with Uncle Sam. "ALLES IN PLUNDERLAND" With apologies to "Alice in Wonderland" To Foreign (Real Estate) Minister Zimmermann. Guten Morgen, once already yet, Herr Zimmermann, you have to let Some farm lands in New Mexico, In Texas und in Idaho? Some acreage on "Palma" Beach You have to agri-Kultur teach? Und through the loyal southern states We hear the peoples say, "Wie gehts Mit unserm Hohenzollern Bill?" They "Hock" the Kaiser with a will; They drink a toast with keen delight To Hindenburg und Schrecklichkeit; Herr Zimmermann, a toast to you, Und Soupmarine Von Tirpitz too. A treaty is a paper scrap, Und so we rearrange the map. Und Fritz, der Sohn von unserm Bill Will make a Schnitzel of Brazil. Ach! Junkerism takes command Of alles dann in Plunderland. "DEUTSCHLAND UNTER ALLIES" To the music of "Deutschland Uber Alles" Enter Mr. William HohenzoUern, a candidate for private citizenship. The "old tomato" Austria sent To Serbia, should not have went. If backwards I could frontwards see, Those Junkers would got "23"; July the fifth, nineteen fourteen, Inside mein skull they put a "bean" ; In sinister they put the sin That "shady" night in old Berlin. It stands so in the Yellow Book; Von Bethmann-Hollweg got the hook; Und why the Helfferich is it now That Scheidemann begins a row? The Herr Landrat von Gravenitz, Says, "Bill, your Reichstag's full of Splitz, Your Majesty should curb their bits." Potztausend, Donnerwetter, Blitz! Und should the Socialistic Bunch Hand out a solar plexus punch, Himmel! JNIein throne I should get off. Like Nicolauski Romanoff? With Constantin the Kink of Greece I then would shout "Let us have Peace." Potsdam it, noch einmal Potsdam, Ach ! Was ist los mit Onkel Sam ? So much it gives for Liberty Loan I sometimes think I "pulled a bone." Ach! So much Geld for Liberty, What chance has mein Indemnity ? A lumpiness is in mein throat. It feels as someone "gets mein goat." Mein Sohn, mein Sohn, the Crowned Prince, Will he be "handed out a quince?" A fear is raging in mein blouse That Onkel Sam gives me the "raus." 6 THE RIVER FRONT ("Somewhere in America.") Ach Domierwetter ! woe betide! I try to make a suicide ! I run myself down to the pier, But to the water can't get near! The soldiers guard the entrances, Und hand me out these sentences : "Pass auf !" "Pass auf!" Which means as much As "Danger!" or you "get in Dutch!" Und so, mein footprints I retrace, Und try to find another place Where I the water can jump in! Before to undress I begin. Again the warning cry I hear : "You can't make suicide on this pier!" Und so it is that I would yell— Mit Sherman too, that "War is Hell!" The sale is stopped of Lager Bier, Und by the pier you can't get near ! Mit tears of anguish I would cry, "I cannot live, I cannot die!" C^SAR HOHENZOLLERN I'm the Hohenzollern Csesar, I'm the Rock of Eben-ezer, I am greater than the Norman or the Dane. To mein individual hking I am braver than the Viking, Such a Kaiser yet before did never reign. Homer too und Aristotle, You might put them in a bottle Mit the greatness of a Plato on a plate ; But that Hohenzollern Willy- He would make them all look silly ; I am greater than the greatest of the great. Und the genius of a Chaucer, No, it wouldn't fill a saucer If beside Mein Majest^^ it had to stand; Ach ! mein bust mit decorations I have filled for mein orations ; Ich bin the greatest genius in the land. I'm the Hohenzollern Cassar, By the whiskers round my "sneezer" Ach ! mein picture it is known from pole to pole, Und upon the walls of Heaven They have hung no less than seven, Und in Hell they have mein statue made of coal. I'm the Hohenzollern seizer, All the other worlds und dieser Are preparing at mein royal feet to fall ; Yes! und when it comes to "freezing" Onto others' lands, und seizing, Ich bin sure the greatest seizer of them all. to^ I'm the Hohenzollern vulture, I have put the "K" in Kultur, Und it means not what it does when spelled mit "C" When the peoples should get wiser Und it's "raus" mit unserm Kaiser They'U spell Culture mit a "C" und mit a "E." "THE DOVE OF PIECE' " To Herr Von FoUette, U. S. Senator from Germany, Washington, D. C. From His Majesty the Kaiser. Ach ! Mein lieber Herr Von Follette, Such a weakness has mein wallet, It's longing for a large und German "piece." You should make your elocution, On mein "piece aim" resolution, Or get yoiu* unconditional release. Willie Horst will write a sermon, In his sheet the "Evening German," On honesty, integrity und "piece," Und every advertiser Should eulogize den Kaiser Who calls upon this cruel war to cease. So begin now your orations. We must save the bankrupt nations, Barbarity should quickly come to stop ; When it gives no German lenders. On the war we put suspenders, Und have "piece" before those Allies get on top. "Piece," oh "piece," I hope we get it. We are running down of credit, Und creditors are hard to satisfy ; Hot I get "around the collar," Down I get to my last dollar. Give us "piece" before we don't lose all the pie. 10 War is filled with pain und sorrow When you can't no longer borrow ; Such a suffering, it breaks mein heart with woe. We should make a stop to fighting, Und the sins of Schrecklichkeiting, When those Allies put a corner on the "dough." "Hell is War," said General Sherman, But he didn't fought the German, Und he didn't met mein super-soupmarines. When it is you can't get trusted, Und they all say "Bill, you're busted"; War is Hell, without a nickel in your jeans. "Piece," oh "piece," when we have got it. It's for war again we plot it, Und another march to Paris we begin. With a navy three time stronger, Und an army ten miles longer, Ach! In sinister again we put the sin. 11 MEIN SIX SONS Ach ! when the war I did begin Und tried by Paris to get in, Six sons I had, und not one twin, Of Hohenzollern royal kin. Six sons stood ready to command The forces of the Fatherland. Six sons rushed backwards, just to show Where common soldiers dared not go. Six sons performed the noble deed Of rushing backwards mit such speed, Und threw themselves into the fray. The front behind, upon that da3^ The royal bands you could hear play As waved the banners far away. Und such a charge they did begin Upon the castle in Berlin — It was a brave, courageous fight ! — They ca]^tured it before the night. The doctor said, "Now, let us see Your awful list of casualty." One son did got a lot of croup From sitting too long on the stoop. Und one, what let the razor slip. The doctor said, "It is the pip"; Und one what went his hat without. Did bring a awful case of gout. Der letzte one, without his coat Did got bronkittens in his throat. But now they all are well again. Prepared to fight like Hellagain, .'. : 12 But outside not, but just within The boundaries of Old Berhn. So when it comes to taking care, A Hohenzollern is a "bear"; It shows mit what for high degree We take care of our family ; When we can such a war go through Und not lose even one or two. Und so we finish out the war Mit six sons yet . . . und maybe more. i:i HURRY BOY Hurry boy, hurry! Or you'll miss Life's grandest chance, When the troops of Uncle Sammy Begin the Great Advance. They're headed now for Belgium, They're leaving dear old France ; Hurrj^ boy, hurry, get in the Great Advance. The stricken ones of Belgium Are calling to you, son. So do your bit, and pack your kit. And "take it on the run." They're ringing bells in Belgium, The death-knell of the Hun, They're singing "Yankee Doodle" now and "Johnny get your gun." Hiu-ry boy, hurry! The end will soon begin, • The forces now in Belgium Are headed for Berlin. And in the final inning We want to count you in. Hurry boy, huny, the victory to win. Hurry boy, hurry! Get in the final jam When the forces of Old Glory — The Troops of Uncle Sam — Break through the Prussian breastworks, Then onward to Potsdam, Hurry boy, hurry, for God and Uncle Sam. 14 Photo by courtesy of >Sassano Facsimile of crocheted war blanket. One of a series made by Helena Rademacher-Pickenbach and donated by her to Duryea War relief. Hero- land Bazaar and Y. M. C. A. fii The Nation Press, Inc., New York.