5 Hail the Conquering Hero ! A Comedy in Three Acts By ADELAIDE C. ROWELL NOTE The professional rights in this play are strictly reserved and application for the right to produce it should be made to the author in care of the publishers. Amateurs may produce it with- out payment of royalty on condition that the name of the author appears on all programmes and advertising issued in connection with such performances. VALTER BOSTON LTER H. BAKER COMPANY I 9 2 I ^"^^ Hail the Conquering Hero! CHARACTERS Mrs. Greenwood. Uncle David, Mrs. Greenwood's brother. Guy, Mrs. Greenwood' s son. Caryl, Mrs. Greenwood' s daughter. Richard, Mrs. Greenwood' s foster son. t^XJt'SZU } /"■-* ^ «-" ^-'■''- Tom ] Bob \ friends of Guy. Jerry ) MILDRED I ^^,^^^^^^^^^, Suzanne, Uncle David' s housekeeper. Time. — Late summer of the year 1919. Scene. — Terrace adjoining Uncle David's house. Act I. — Richard the Conqueror. Act II, Scene /.—Richard rides forth. i^Next morning.') Act II, Scene 2. — Richard rides back. ( Two hours later.) Act III. — The echpse of Richard. { The same evening.) Copyright, 1921, by Adelaide C. Rowell as author and proprietor. All stage and moving picture rights reserved, ©CI.D 58H20 SEP 1^ x^'l\ » . ovA.0 1 Written for and Dedicated to the Class of ig2 1 of the Central High School, Hamilton County, T^ennessee SYNOPSIS When Mrs. Greenwood's artist brother, David, who has spent many years abroad, returns home he finds a cool reception awaiting him from his seventeen-year-old nephew, Guy, and his fifteen-year-old niece, Caryl, who feel he has shamed the family by being in Europe at the time of the war and yet taking no part in the con- flict. They know that if their foster brother, Richard, a dashing young lieutenant in the Marines, could have gone over he would have saved the family honor. It is Richard who now brings the exciting news that two great for- eigners. Baron Huysman and General Graveur, are to be in the city the next day. They are on a secret mission, but the Mayor has gotten wind of their coming and a big celebration is to be staged. The following day the whole town turns out to do honor to the guests, and Caryl is disgusted with her mother and Uncle David for not going, as Richard is to lead the parade as Captain of the Greys. Later, the young people return home in great distress, for the great men have never come; and when they learn they are at Uncle David's home they are amazed, and hastily conclude they must have come to take him back as a military prisoner. Instantly, Uncle David becomes dear to them, and Richard forms a daring plan to kidnap the foreigners, in which event Caryl is persuaded to star, reluctantly, as a " vamp," to lure them to their doom. But that night when Caryl goes shakily forth to encounter her victims. Uncle David finds her, and in the scene that follows the two become such great friends that Caryl forgets her mission and it is Uncle David who is captured by Richard. Caryl's screams bring her mother and the foreigners to the scene, and in the explanations that follow the young people find that it is Uncle David who is the real hero and Richard the pale shadow. Hail the Conquering Hero! ACT I SCENE. — The setting for all three acts is a stone terrace adjoining the side entrance of a comfortable brick and timber house in the late summer of the year 1919. The low gables, the quaint doorway with an old-fashioned lantern hung on either door post, the charmingly draped windows as seen from the outside, the walls which the vines have striven to cover, the variety of potted plants and growing things seen everywhere bespeak the artistic instinct of the presiding genius of the place. A large green rug partly covers the stone floor. To r, stands a broad swing banked with cushions, and about the terrace are scattered comfortable wicker chairs and seats. One feels at first glance the air of comfort and artistic fitness of things that gives to the scene a homelike and much-lived-in appearance. (The curtain rises upon two boys of seventeen or eighteen, seated in the swing, both singing loudly and atrociously. ^ The one to the right is Tom, a tall, slim boy with a dry sense of humor and a quiet way of getting what he wants. The other is Guy Green- wood, full of ginger, lithe as a sapling, and always ready to do anything. You think of him as a born cheer leader for college athletics. He and Tom are as close to each other as Damon and Pythias, but neither was ever known to speak a civil word to the other. When we first see them they are singing: 6 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! "How you going to keep them down on the farm after they've seen Pareef " but soon even they see that this thing must stop.) Tom {glaring at Guy). Good heavens ! This is awful ! Guy {bristling up like a game cock). Rotten! Can't you carry a tune better than that ? Tom. What you talking about ? I had it fine, but you were squealing like a stuck pig ! Guy. "W hy, darn it all, you were roaring so I couldn't hear myself. Tom. You were in luck then ! {Stops short and takes a good look at a ring Guy is wearing on his little finger.) I say, where did you get that ? Guy {after a moment's hesitation). Oh — ah — that? Why — Uncle David. He picked it up somewhere in Belgium — used to go sketching there, you know. Tom {impressed). Gee! I sure do like that! I say, Guy, I'll match you for it. Guy {shortly). You big stiff, you won't do anything of the kind ! Tom. Oh, come on ! Be a sport ! Guy. I can't, I tell you, Uncle David — a — a — ^he gave it to me. Tom {scornfully). Is that any reason he'd want you to be a quitter and not match up when a fellow called your game? Guy {irritably). I can't. Mother would never for- give me. Tom {shrugging his shoulders). Oh, well, if you are going to be influenced all the time by women Guy {indignantly pulling out a coin as he speaks). Women! Huh! Of all the nerve! See here, if you're going to match with me you'll have to get a move on you. Tom. Right oh ! {The two boys spin their coins first in the air, then clap them on the backs of their hands, and when they uncover ToM gives a caper of joy and Guy looks gloomy.) Mine! Guy {nervously) . Best two out of three. ToM. You're crazy ! I've already won that ring. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 7 {Light, quick footsteps are heard off stage, but the boys do not hear them.) Guy (desperately). Two out of three! Tom {magnanimously). Oh well, then! {They match again. Tom shouts with delight, and Guy thrusts the ring at him indignantly.) Guy. Here, take the old thing I (Tom is gloating over his prize when a girl's voice calls from off stage: "Mother! Guy! Where is everybody? " The boys look around in surprise, a smile breaking over Tom's face, and even Guy look- ing less gloomy. ) Tom. Caryl home ! Guy. How did she get here? I know Mother wasn't expecting her home from camp for several days. (There now enters from the wings a girl of fifteen. This is Caryl Greenwood, Gi;y's sister. In her build she resembles him very much: slim and grace- ful, with quick, lithe movements. But here the resem- blance ends, for Caryl is like herself and no one else. The younger sister of two brothers, she has all their love for outdoor sports, and will take any dare they care to offer. Yet, withal, she is very feminine. Quick of tongue, and full of the animal spirits of youth, she will at times become unaccountably shy. Her hair is a soft brown with copperish lights in it, her features regular with a touch of piquant delicacy, her color fresh, and in her grey eyes there is a constant play of expression from, gayety to wistful- ness. Her face is flushed with excitement, and her eyes bright as she runs in, calling to her family. She is dressed in a simple white middy suit. Her hair is worn in a loose plait finishing in a curl. A re- lieved smile breaks over her face as she spies the two boys.) 8 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! Caryl. Goodness, but I'm glad to find somebody at last ! I thought the family must have moved. (The boys run to her and she holds out a hand to each. Tom grabs one and shakes it like a pump handle. Caryl rescues her hand.) Save the pieces, Tommy. Guy (giving her a brotherly peck on the cheek). What you mean by coming home like this and not letting a soul know about it? Caryl. I wanted to surprise you, and when I reached home there was nobody to surprise. Guy. Serves you right. If you'd told me you were coming I'd have met you at the depot with the car. Caryl (radiantly). Oh, Richard did that! Guy (brusquely) . How did he know? (Caryl laughs in a provoking manner, but does not enlighten him.) Tom (courting trouble). Heard about that camp of yours in Virginia. Caryl (taking up the challenge). North Carolina! Tom. Well anyway, old Bill Martin went up there one day to visit his sister, and he's been killing himself laugh- ing about it ever since. Caryl (with spirit). Billie never so much as stuck his nose inside of our camp ! (Guy and Tom chuckle and jeer at her.) Guy. Bill said they all wore Indian togs, and danced around a wood fire every night. Tom. And called each other Indian names. What was yours, Caryl ? Popocatepetl ? Caryl (laughing). Smarty! Billie's sister wasn't at our camp at all. And we didn't wear those silly things. We had bloomers and middies, and we did everything wild and woolly we could think of. It was gorgeous ! Guy. Huh ! You're all sunburned. Caryl. Huh ! I don't care if I am. It was such fun I didn't want to leave, but now I'm here I'm glad as anything to be home. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 9 Tom. Darned if I'm not glad, too. (Caryl smiles at him, as she crosses over to Guy.) Caryl. Richard says Daddy is still in Washington. I'm so disappointed ! I can hardly wait to see him. And Guy, where is Mother? Do you think she'll be gone long ? Guy. No. She's just out riding with Uncle David. (Caryl's face lights up with a new interest,) Caryl. Tell me about Uncle David, Brother. Do you like him? He has been over here a month now, hasn't he ? What is he like ? Is he (Tom shouts with laughter, and Guy breaks in in- dignantly, ) Guy. Hold on there ! What you think I am ? Caryl {laughing). Tell me, Buddy. I'm so curious to know about him. Guy {helplessly) . Oh — a — ^he's all right, I reckon. Tom {generously) . He's a good scout. I like him. Guy {in puzzled tones). Mother has been the queerest ever since he came. Can't let him out of her sight. Caryl {coaxingly). Tell me about it please. You know our camp was miles away from a post-office, and I am sure half of Mother's letters never reached me. What made him come so suddenly? Guy. Well, it seems he had been sick for a long time in a hospital in England. Caryl. Did Mother know he was sick? Guy. No, he wouldn't let them tell her. As soon as he began to feel better he decided to come home to Mother. Tom {curiously). Whatever made him go to France to live? Caryl. He's an artist. Tom. Couldn't he be one and stay at home? Caryl. Of course not, silly! (To Guy.) And then what did he do ? 10 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO I Guy. Well, you know he owned this house next door to ours {Designating the one they are enhancing.) so he wrote Mother to have it fixed up for him — gave her all manner of directions, and one day he turned up and has been living here ever since. Caryl {looking around her critically). I'll say it for Mother she made a good job of it. Tom. Oh, he's done wonders with it himself. You ought to see that man. I swear, he can stick a burnt match in the ground, and the next day a rose-bush will be sprouting from it. Caryl {thoughtfully). Doesn't sound much like a man, does it? Imagine Daddy planting flowers! What does he look like, anyway? Guy. Tall and thin. Tom. Dad told me he used to be a wonderful big fel- low. Best back at Virginia. Guy {zvith an unconscious note of contempt in his voice). Think of a crack full-back turning out to be an artist ! (Tom shakes his head as though the idea was too much for him. Caryl and Guy seat themselves in the swing, and Tom on the table.) Caryl. Of course, I want to see him, but Guy. He's crazy to see you. Talks about you a lot. Says he loves girls. Caryl {helplessly) . Dear me, I won't know what to say to him. I never knew an artist before. Tom {inspired). Tell him about the camp. Caryl. I can't talk indefinitely about that. Besides, an artist wouldn't care to hear about a crowd of girls in middies and bloomers running around the woods and swimming and all that sort of thing. Guy {ponderously). Just talk to him about — well, about anything, and when you kind of run down, ask him about — oh say, about life in Paris. Caryl {horrified). Oh Guy, I'd be afraid to! Rich- ard says the way those artists live over there is some- thing awful ! HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO! 11 Tom (Tvith a knowing wink). I'll say it is! Fellow was telling me about it once — Mmh ! Guy (heavily). Reckon you're right. Better keep off that Paris line of talk then. Caryl (sighing). I can't understand why we should have to — to have an artist in our family — Mother's own brother, Tom. But she thinks he's all right. (In the moment's silence that follon^s it is plain to be seen that Caryl and Guy do not agree with their mother. The girl now asks with some hesitation, as though ashamed it should be necessary to ask such a question about a member of her family:) Caryl. Does — does he talk much about the war ? Guy (flushing). Not a word. Gets all upset when you mention it. Caryl. Wasn't he in it — not even a little ? Guy. Guess not. Mother won't let us ask him a thing about it. (A middle-aged woman of the French peasant class comes to the door, looks out and nods to the boys, glances curiously at Caeyl, and then disappears again within the house. ' Caryl. Who is that ? Guy. His housekeeper, Suzanne. He brought her with him from France. Caryl (moved). What a sad face she has ! Guy. No wonder ! The Boche killed her husband. Caryl (springing to her feet, her eyes aflame). Oh, how could any man stay over there and not fight for France! If only I had been old enough nothing could have kept me at home ! Guy (mournfully). We Greenwoods didn't have any- one over there to fight for us. They made Father stick up there in Washington, and Richard (He pauses with kindling eye, and it is apparent from 12 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! the proud interest called forth in each young face that the aforesaid Richard is a shining light among them.) Caryl (rebelliously). If they had only let Richard go he would have fought for us as long as there was any- thing left to fight ! Tom (proudly). Old Dick would have made those Dutchies sit up and take notice ! Guy {gloomily). And if the fool Government didn't keep him drilling rookies in that fool Marine camp — drilling rookies! — and then when he did get his orders to go across, if the fool war wasn't called off when he was in Hoboken waiting to sail ! Rotten luck, I call it ! Tom (seised with an inspired thought). I believe there was some German propaganda behind it. They had spies in all our camps, and I bet you when they found out what a dare-devil old Dick was they pulled the wires to keep him on this side. Guy (impressed). I hadn't thought of that. Richard would be furious if he thought that was true. He'd lick the very first German he met. Caryl (softly). If Richard only could have gone! {There is no sentiment in Caryl's attitude toward Richard. Some day she may fall in love with him, but now her feeling toward him differs little from that of the boys, though being a girl it has added depth and tenderness.) Guy. Alvin York would have been a pale shadow beside Dick if he could only have gone ! Caryl. I know he would have won the Croix de Guerre. Tom. Oh my, yes I Guy. Tough luck ! If Dick could only have been over there instead of Uncle David ! (At this unfortunate moment Uncle David enters with his sister, Mrs. Greenwood. She is a pretty woman, wholesome, well poised, and possessed of a youthful charm that will keep her young if she lives a full HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO \ I3 century. Young people like her naturally, and her own children adore her, though often they manifest it in a most peculiar and unfathomable manner. But it never matters for she always understands. Uncle David is a man in the neighborhood of forty, dark hair shot with grey, smooth face, a mouth that re- minds one of Caryl's, and eyes dark grey with a tragedy written within them which he strives to hide beneath a whimsical air. He is very tall with a large frame which shows signs of a long illness, though he seems now to be on the road to better health.) Uncle D. {pleasantly). Who is taking my name in vain ? (There follows a moment of confusion and embarrass- ment on the part of the young people, soon dispelled, however, by Caryl and her mother discovering each other.) Mrs. G. Caryl ! Caryl. Mother! {She throws herself joyously into her mother's outstretched arms, and the two embrace, laughing in happy excitement.) I surprised you. Mother ! Mrs. G. I should think you did! What made you come so soon? Caryl. I — well, it seemed ages since I had seen you. Mother. Mrs. G. Bless your heart! I've missed you so! {Looking into her face, a hand on either cheek.) And how well you are looking. You are as sunburned as Guy. How was the camp, dear ? Caryl {bursting with animal spirits). Glorious! I haven't been still a minute . . . rowing, swimming, hiking, shooting. Mother, what do you think? I can hit the bull's-eye nine times out of ten ! Tom {sarcastically). What with? A hammer? Caryl {laughing). You hateful old thing! {They all laugh, and it is then that Mrs. Greenwood remembers she has not yet presented Caryl to her 14 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! Uncle David. He has been looking at the girl with keen interest, a wistful look on his long, lean face.) Mrs. G. But come, you must meet your Uncle David. (With an arm about her daughter she leads her proudly to her brother.) David, dear, this is the httle girl you have been wanting to see ever since she was a baby. (For one vibrant moment the girl and her uncle stand looking into each other's eyes, he visibly moved, and she frankly interested; then with a shy smile, she holds out both hands to him. Her action is very sweet, but one misses the youthful abandon of her greeting with her mother. Uncle David does not seem to notice this, however, and drawing the girl to him, he kisses her upturned lips. Laying both hands upon her shoulders, he looks down upon her with a smiling tenderness that brings a blush of confusion to her cheeks.) Uncle D. So this is my little Caryl at last! I have been waiting for many years to see you, my dear, and I am not disappointed. Caryl {uncomfortably). I — I'm glad — ^you're not. Guy {flippantly). You weren't expecting much of her, were you, Uncle? Uncle D. {amused). You scamp! {To his sister,) That's the way I used to talk to you, wasn't it, Nancy ? Mrs. G. You were insufferable at times, David. Caryl. So is Guy. I don't know how he will end up. Uncle D. {his eyes tzdnkling) . Not as an artist, I hope. Guy {taken off his guard). I should say not! Er — I mean — I {He breaks off in helpless confusion and Uncle David takes pity on him.) Uncle D. That's a wise resolve, Guy, for if you ever tried to paint it would be jazz stuff, I feel sure. {To Caryl.) So you are an all-round out-of-doors girl? Caryl {self-consciously) . I suppose so. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 1 5 Mrs. G. (thrusting Caryl good-naturedly toward her Uncle). I'll leave you two to get acquainted now, while I run in and speak to Suzanne about that new recipe. (Caryl watches her mother disappear into the house in agonising silence. Tom feels now it is time for him to leave this family party.) Tom. Well, I must be getting along. Guy. Oh don't go, Tom. Tom. Have to. So long, folks. Caryl. So long, Tom. (Uncle David now settles himself on the swing, Caryl dutifully seats herself beside him, and Guy hovers restlessly near, hands in pockets. Uncle David looks cheerful and disposed to be friendly, but the young people accept the trying situation almost grimly. Their uncle tries to put them at their ease, but they s^em incapable of feeling anything so com- fortable.) Uncle D. (genially). Well now, we three have lost a lot of time in getting to know each other, and will have to make up for it, won't we? Caryl (sitting very erect, answers stiffly). Yes, sir. (Guy nods and jingles the loose change in his pockets. The lack of enthusiasm shown would dampen the spirits of almost anyone, but Uncle David carries on manfully.) Uncle D. As far back as I can remember I loved your mother better than anyone else in the world. Our mother, you know, died when I was a baby, so Nancy was always Mother and sister both to me. She was a little older than I, but she never bossed me. She had a way of making me do as she wished without letting me know it was the thing I ought to do. (Caryl and Guy thaw out a bit and laugh.) Caryl. Mother is still that way. Guy. Even old Dick eats out of her hand. l6 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! Uncle D. {nodding wisely). She will manage us all to the end of our days. We grew up together, and it was not until after your father took her from me that I left her and went abroad to study and paint. Caryl {frankly). Whatever made you decide to be an artist. Uncle David? Uncle D. I didn't decide that, my dear. Something within me decided it for me. Perhaps it may speak to you some day, and if it should you will have to do as it says. Do you ever try to draw or paint ? Guy {proudly). Yes she does! She's a wonder, Uncle David. She can draw anything. Caryl {with determination). Well, I'm not going to be an artist. Uncle D. {amused). And what are you going to do, Caryl ? Caryl (defiantly). Get married. (Guy shouts with laughter, but Uncle David smiles under standingly.) Uncle D. That is better than being a Raphael. Caryl. Well, if I did want to be an artist, I would have to go to Europe and study, and Richard says Guy {motioning to her uneasily). Ahem! (Caryl stops suddenly and Uncle David's eyes twinkle. ) Uncle D. And what does Richard have to say, Caryl ? Caryl {recklessly). He says it is no place for a lady. Uncle D. Mo doubt Richard is quite correct. Caryl. Richard says it is awful the way art — (Guy coughs and she corrects herself hastily.) err — ^people live over there. Uncle D. And where did Richard get all this inter- esting information? Guy. He picked up a lot of stuff like that in the army. Caryl {eagerly). You know Richard was in the army — nineteen and a lieutenant in the Marines I Uncle D. Wonderful ! HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 1 7 Caryl (pleased). We thought so too, but they didn't let him go across ! Guy. He'd have been a captain in a month or two if he'd only had a chance at the fighting. Caryl (appealing to her uncle). Wasn't it a shame he didn't get to go, Uncle David ? Uncle D. Absolutely inexcusable. Guy. He'd have won his Croix de Guerre. Uncle D. Undoubtedly. Caryl (proudly). But now he is home again they have made him captain of the Jackson Greys ! Just think of it! The oldest troop in the state, the one Grand- father commanded when he fought under Stonewall Jackson ! Uncle D. So we have a real hero in our family ? Guy. I'll say we have ! Caryl. I could listen to him forever when he is tell- ing about his experiences in camp. (Uncle David sees that he shines with but a pale, sickly light beside the flaming glory of this young hero.) Uncle D. (to Caryl). You could not love Richard more if he were your own brother, could you? Caryl (softly as though this were a new thought) . I had never thought of him as anything else. You know his father was Daddy's best friend, and he died at our house before I was born — the father, not Richard, you know. He left Richard to Daddy and Mother, so he has always been my brother. Uncle D. May he always be just that. Caryl (puzzled). What do you mean. Uncle David? (He is prevented from answering by the appearance of Mrs. Greenwood from the house, bearing a plate of tarts.) Mrs G. See what Suzanne has sent to the poor hun- gry children! l8 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! (Caryl and Guy greet her arrival with an enthusiasm that is as much a compliment to her as to the tarts ) GvY (helping himself). Suzanne's a brick ! Caryl {taking one). She must have known I was starved, Mother! (Takes a bite.) M-m-h ! Suzanne has made a new friend ! (A voice off stage is heard calling " Mother I Caryl! Oh Guy I" Caryl's face lights happily.) It's Richard! (Calling.) Here we are, Richard ! Voice. All right, Caryl ! (Sounds of other youthful voices, and then enter Richard, accompanied by several boys, among whom is Tom. Richard is a handsome young fellow of twenty, perhaps, conscious no doubt of his good looks, but not sufficiently so to detract from the un- deniable charm of his personality. He affects hair, clothes and mannerisms that are reminiscent of Lord Byron — but never absurdly so. The miniature mus- tache he wears, however, is quite modern a la Charlie Chaplin. He is so used to the admiration of those slightly his juniors that he accepts it with an easy good nature very charming and becoming to his style of being. One has a feeling that he has in him the making of a fine man, though he will always be prone to play his part to the grandstand. Mrs. Green- wood and Uncle David secretly exchange looks of amusement as he appears on the scene; but Caryl's eyes glow with the light of hero worship for this youth five years her senior.) Uncle D. (twitting him). Why, Dick, you enter my poor garden plot like the conquering hero in a ten-twenty- and-thirty cent melodrama. Richard (genially, as though he too were in the sere and yellow leaf). Those good old days are gone, sir. Now we have to be movie heroes; don't we, little Mother? (Catching Mrs. Greenwood affectionately by both HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! I9 hands. She smiles into his eyes with tender amuse- ment.) Mrs. G. We do indeed, son. And can it be that you are staging a scene yourself to-day, Richard? Is this not the flush of excitement that I see registered upon your cheek? (Richard affects an air of nonchalance, but his com- panions break in with excited comments. ) Tom. Tell 'em the news, Dick ! Guy. I thought he was keeping something up his sleeve ! Jerry. Tell 'em about it, Dick ! Bob. Real thing, Mrs. Greenwood! Jerry. Dick's going to Tom. Shut up ! Let Dick tell 'em about it ! (Tom has been keeping his ring well hidden, but as he speaks he makes a gesture that gives Richard a glimpse of it, and it is not lost.) Uncle D. (plaintively). Man, are you going to let us stand here in a state of expectancy until we petrify? (Richard laughs easily, but there is a note of excite- ment in his voice. ) Guy. Aw, hurry up ! Richard (running his hand gracefully through his pompadour). After I met you this morning, Caryl Caryl (joyfully explaining to her Mother). He met me at the depot. Mrs. G. (amused and surprised). Oh, he did I Well, go on, Richard. Richard. As I was saying, after leaving you I ran into the Mayor, and he seemed pleased as Punch. " If this isn't luck ! " he said. " I've been trying to locate you for over an hour." (Modestly.) I assured him I was 10 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! at his service, and he said: "Well now, that's a great relief to me, and I am going to depend on you to put this little matter through for me." Caryl. Put what through ? You are the slowest thing, Richard ! Richard (laughing charmingly) . All right then, little Sister, I'll get down to business. In short, the Mayor told me he had just gotten wind of the fact that two world renowned war heroes from abroad are going to be in the city to-morrow, (Eagerly.) and you can't guess who they are ! Guy (shouting). Not General Graveur who is over here on a special mission ; the fellow the poilus will follow anywhere ? Richard (forgetting to pose in his excitement). The very one, Guy. And with him is Baron Huysman, the idol of Belgium ! (Uncle David and Mrs. Greenwood exchange quick glances. He looks annoyed and she very thought- ful.) Tom. What are they coming here for, Dick? Richard. Don't know — Mayor hasn't an idea. They are on some secret mission and evidently did not intend letting anyone know they were in town. But the Mayor got on to it somehow or other, and he's going to give them a great reception, I can tell you. (Appealing to Mrs. Greenwood.) Couldn't let great men like that go through here without showing 'em what we thought of the way they fought, could we. Mother? Mrs. G. (absent-mindedly) . No — of course not. Guy. What are you going to do for them, Dick ? Richard. Meet them at the depot with a band, every- body come out with their cars decorated in French and Belgian flags, banquet at the Chilton Caryl (breathlessly) . And you — Richard? . . . Richard (with great show of indifference). Oh, I? Why, the Greys are going to be the guard of honor, and as captain I'll head the parade. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 21 Caryl {her voice hushed with awe). Mother, isn't it wonderful ? Mrs. G. {her arm around the girl). Splendid! It is grander than having a policeman in the family to march in the parades. Caryl {shocked). Mother! Guy {enviously). Richard, will you get to meet them ? Richard. Of course! I'm on the reception com- mittee at the depot. In fact, the Mayor turned all the arrangements over to me. Jerry. Gosh, what luck ! Tom. I bet I join the Greys the minute I'm eighteen ! {Again Richard catches sight of the ring on Tom's finger, and his eye kindles covetously.) Uncle D. {thoughtfully). What time did you say you were expecting the distinguished visitors, Richard ? Richard. Two o'clock, sir. Uncle D. Hml Two p. m. {He motions to his sister and they step hack and en- gage in serious conversation. At the same time two of Caryl's girl friends, Jean and Mildred, run in and greet the newly returned camper with enthusi- asm. The boys and Guy join the group, and Tom is moving that way when Richard hauls him back peremptorily.) Richard. Hey, wait a minute ! Let me see that ring. (Tom displays it reluctantly.) Where did you get it? Tom {uneasily). Friend. Richard {impressed). It's swell. Where did he get it? Tom {audaciously). France. A Duchess gave it to him. You see, a Boche was trying to kill her, and he came along just in time to save her, so she rewarded him by giving him this ring. Richard {grinning). Some tale. Tommy! Say, I'll match you for it ! 12 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! Tom (scornfully). Darned if you will! Richard. Oh come on, be a sport! Tom (bored). I don't even hear you. Richard (sweetly). What's the matter, honey? Won't your mamma let you match for things any more ? Tom (hotly, drawing a coin from his pocket). I do as I darn please ! Well, put up, put up ! Richard (gaily spinning a coin in the air). That's the man! Let's go, Tom! (They match and Richard lets out a shout. ) It's mine ! Tom (firmly). Best two out of three! Richard (generously). Oh, well, just as you say. (They match again and Richard laughs triumphantly.) You see it was meant for me. Tom (shortly, handing the ring over). Here, take the old thing! Richard. Tough luck. Tommy, but it's all in a life- time. (He is examining it when the girls and hoys gather around him again, so he slips it quickly into his pocket. Caryl has been telling the girls the excit- ing news, and they are duly impressed. ) Caryl. And think of it — he'll get to meet them ! Guy. The great Graveur! They say he's not afraid of anything ! Jerry. You're in luck, Dick ! Richard (easily). I am pretty lucky, I'll admit it. Mildred (laughing up into his face). Richard, will you speak to me when you ride down the street at the head of the Greys? Jean. No, he'll not ! He's a perfect old stick when he's in a parade. (Richard laughs provokingly.) Mildred. Not even if I wear my new pink dress and hat? Jean. Richard, please salute us. I'd be so thrilled if you would! HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 23 Richard (laughing). Oh, you children! What would the General think if I did a thing like that? (Looks at his wrist watch.) Say, it's getting late, and I promised the Mayor I would attend to a lot of things for him. And my uniform. (To Caryl.) Little Sister, will you do something for me ? Caryl (thrilled). You know I will. Brother. Richard. A little snag in my sash Caryl. I'll mend it for you. Richard. That's the girl ! (He throws one arm with careless fondness about her shoulders, and thus they turn to go. At the exit he looks back with a genial nod.) So long, folks ! See you later. All (with feeling). So long, Dick! (In silent envy and deepest admiration they watch him disappear. In the doorway of his home Uncle David looks on with his sister, quite forgotten by the young people in their admiration for this gallant hero. ) Tom. Some good scout ! Bob. I'll say he is ! CURTAIN ACT II Scene i SCENE. — Same as Act I. Time: About noon of the following day. (Suzanne is seen pottering about the flowers and plants, when Caryl enters hurriedly. She is in a state of happy excitement, cheeks flushed and eyes dancing. She is wearing a simple white dress, and is carrying a panama hat in one hand and a French and a Belgian flag in the other. From the smile she gives Suzanne, and the one she wins in return, it is apparent the two have already become the best of friends.) Caryl (gaily, her pronunciation atrocious). Bon jour, Suzanne. C'est un joli apres-midi. Suzanne (slowly, a broad smile spreading over her sad face). Oh, ma chere, you should speak only the English, for you cannot speak the French. Caryl (pretending to be offended, though her eyes deny the charge). Why, Suzanne, how can you talk that way ? I give you my word I can parley vous better than anyone in our French class. Suzanne (quaintly). It would be most droll to lis- ten to that class in conversatione. Caryl (laughing). Between you and me, Suzanne, it is something awful. Mother says — and that reminds me. I didn't come over here to talk French. I'm in the big- gest hurry. Where is Mother? Suzanne. She is with the master in his studio. Caryl (impatiently). She is always over here now. I've scarcely seen her since I came home. Suzanne (gently). But, ma chere, he is her brother. Caryl fo bit hurt). And I'm her daughter. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 25 (Enter Guy, busy and important. With him is Tom, and the two are followed closely by the girls, Jean and Mildred, who are dressed in pretty summer clothes and bedecked in flags and streamers. All are talking and laughing excitedly.) Guy. Come on. Sister, we are all ready to go. Caryl. I've been looking for Mother. Suzanne says she's in there. Guy. Well, run and get her. Caryl {calling). Mother! Oh, Mother! {She disappears within the house.) Jean. Did you see our car ? Daddy went away in it a few minutes ago. It was wonderful, even the wheels were decorated. Tom. So were ours. Mildred. Colonel Tanner was going to ride in ours with Daddy. Guy. I worked on ours last night until Mother made me go to bed. Jean, It looks grand, Guy. {Enter Bob and Jerry, bursting with news.) Jerry. Say, you ought to see old Dick! Mildred. Is he ready? Bob. Almost; and when he comes we'd better be ready to leave. Jean. Richard is the best looking thing in his Grey uniform ! Mildred. Wonderful! . . . And not a bit con- ceited. (Mrs. Greenwood comes from, house and is hailed enthusiastically. ) Mrs. G. (gaily) . Dear me, but this is a festive looking gathering! You look so patriotic that I really feel I should stand at attention and say, " They shall not pass ! " (They gather around her laughing at her nonsense.) 26 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! Jean. Mother says I look a fright in this pink idress draped in all these flags and streamers. She says my colors clash. Mrs. G. But clashing colors are the latest style, they tell me. (Caryl enters from house, and at sight of her mother sighs with relief.) Caryl {reproachfully). Mother, I have been looking everywhere for you ! Mrs. G. Well, here I am, dear. Guy. We are all ready. Mother, and the car looks fine. Caryl. Put your hat and things on and let's go so we won't miss anything! Please hurry, Mother! Jerry. Here comes Richard! {All eyes are turned toward Richard, who enters most gloriously. He wears a trim blue-grey uniform, cap- tain's epaulets, a red sash around his slim waist, a sword, long black boots, and a broad, black hat cocked on one side with a red rosette. He makes a very picturesque figure as he walks gracefully across the terrace toward the waiting band of admirers, and we can hardly blame him if he seems to radiate a glow of self-satisfaction. He has just come from his trusty mirror, and he knows he has seen something well worth looking upon. Mrs. Greenwood watches him with an air of kindly amusement, but her daugh- ter is spellbound with hero-worship. ) Caryl {softly). Mother, aren't you glad Richard belongs to us ? Mrs. G. {with assumed humility). I always try to show my appreciation of him. {To Richard.) Wel- come, my Prince. {Snatching off his hat, he sweeps her a courtly bow.) Richard. And how is the Dowager this fair morn- ing? HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 27 Mrs. G. Speechless with admiration. Richard (eagerly, almost pleadingly). You are go- ing with us, aren't you, Mother ? (She shakes her head, smiling at him fondly.) Mrs. G. I am afraid I can't go, Dick. Caryl {horrified almost past belief). Mother! Mrs. G. Something very important has come up that will keep your uncle and me here all afternoon. Richard (^disappointed). Pshaw! I am sorry! Mrs. G. It is unfortunate, but it can't be helped. Caryl (unable to forgive her mother's cruelty). I don't see how you could let anything keep you away. It isn't fair to Richard! Mrs. G. (patting Richard fondly). I am sure Rich- ard understands. (Caryl turns away in aggrieved silence, but Richard takes his disappointment manfully.) Richard (giving Mrs. G. a boyish hug). Of course I do, little Mother ! (^To the others.) But it's late and we'd better be getting on. Tom. I should say it is late. Guy. Come on, people, the cars are all out in front! (The young people all start away chattering happily. Caryl is moving silently away after them when her mother calls to her gently.) Mrs. G. Oh, Caryl ! Caryl (not turning). Yes . . . Mother? Mrs. G. Are you going away without telling me good- bye? (Caryl turns back reluctantly and coldly presents her cheek to her mother. Mrs. G., with quiet reproach.) Not that way, my little girl. (Turning away she starts toward the house. For a moment Caryl watches her in stunned surprise, then a lightning change comes over her, and springing after her mother, seizes hold of her impulsively.) 28 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! Caryl (pleadingly). Mother, don't leave me like that ! (Her mother rests her hands on the girl's shoulders, and smiles into her eyes.) Mrs. G. And how were you leaving me ? Caryl {laughing). There, I might have known you'd have the best of it in the end! (Kisses her mother with youthful abandon. ) Now, are we friends again ? Mrs. G. (smiling). Till the next time. (She turns again to enter the house just as Richard enters calling imperiously to Caryl.) Richard. Here, here. Sis! Come along — ^you want to be late ? Caryl (happily). Coming! (But she tarries to wave a last good-bye to her mother. Richard lays an im- patient hand upon her arm to drag her away, and as he does so Caryl stares at it in delighted surprise.) Rich- ard! Where did you get that ring? (Richard, taken aback, tries at first to hide it, but seeing this is too late, allows Caryl to examine it; though without enthusiasm.) This is a beauty. Where did you get it, Richard? Richard (evasively) . Friend of mine. Caryl (looking shrewdly into his face). A friend! Do you mean to tell me that a friend gave you this won- derful ring? Richard (plunging in courageously). Well, you see, he was badly wounded in a — in Italy, and — and when they brought him home I was kind to him. Just before he died Caryl (sympathetically). Did he die? Richard (heavily). Oh, yes — gave me this on his death bed. He was in Aviation over in Italy, and one day he had the good luck to save the Queen of Italy from being bombed by a German Zeppelin, The King gave him this ring for his brave act. (Caryl, who has been listening all the while with a I HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 2g solemn face, now throws back her head and laughs delicioitsly. ) Caryl. Why, Dick, couldn't you tell a better one than that? Richard (grinning). Best one I could think of. Caryl (feeling her way). You matched for it, didn't you? Richard (on guard). That's my affair. Caryl (all alert). I'll match you for it, Richard. Richard (shortlyj. No you won't! Caryl. Well, I'd like to know why ? Richard (stiffly). I don't match with girls. Caryl (stubbornly). You've matched with me plenty of times. Richard. But it isn't right and I'll not do it any more. Caryl. Huh! I know why. It's because I always win. (This is too much for Richard.) Richard (haughtily). Put up then, and we'll settle this matter. Caryl (radiantly). Lend me a quarter, Buddy. (Gloomily he draws forth two coins and hands one to Caryl. Caryl spins hers deftly in the air. ) I'm ready ! (They match and Caryl laughs out merrily.) Richard (in disgust). You beat anything I ever saw. Caryl (generously). Well, then, make it best two out of three. Richard (seising her hand roughly and putting the ring on her finger) . What's the use ? If we matched a million times you'd win every time. (Throwing back her head and raising aloft the hand with the ring upon it so she can see it the better, Caryl pirouettes off the stage, half singing as she goes.) 3© HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO I Caryl. Think o£ it, old Ring, the King of Italy gave you to Dick's friend! Just think of it — a king! Won- derful ! Wonderful ! Come on, Richard, they are toot- ing their horns for us ! {The curtain falls upon Richard stalking off stage in offended dignity, Caryl laughing back at him from over her shoulder.) Act II. Scene 2 SCENE. — Same as before. Time: Two hours later. {Men's voices are heard raised in hearty laughter, and then, enter Uncle David zmth Baron Huysman and General Graveur. Both men are somewhere in the neighborhood of forty, though the Frenchman looks a bit older. He is a lean, wiry built man of medium height, with a military mustache and goatee. His actions are quick and alert, and his sharp black eyes are ever busy noting every detail about him. The Belgian is of a wholly different type. He is rather tall and inclining to stoutness, merry blue eyes, a smiling face set off by a mustache trimmed and turned to a fastidious nicety. He is deliberate in his movements, and his laugh is genuine and in- fectious. Both men speak English perfectly with only a slight foreign accent.) Graveur {comically). I am unnerved, David. I feel as I did when the Boche chased us to the fateful Marne. Uncle D. Oh, that Is mild to what they'll do to you when they have found you've escaped from them. Huysman {tragically). What will they do, David? Uncle D. {grimly). Trail you with bloodhounds, and HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 3 1 when they have captured you they'll take you away to a banquet Graveur. Mon Dieu ! Uncle D. And there will be speeches — ^many long speeches HuYSMAN (pathetically). Is there no way to escape ? Uncle D. What do you expect, man? This is America! (Mrs. Greenwood now enters and her brother hastens to present the two foreigners.) Back safe, Nancy! My sister, Mrs. Greenwood — General Graveur and Baron Huysman. (They greet each other warmly.) Graveur. You have been known to us for many years, Madame Greenwood. Huysman {ligntiy). It was a black week for Davy when no letter came from Nancy — for so we all learned to call you. Mrs. G. (laughing). And it was as Hy and Gravy that you were known to me. Uncle D. (comfortably). Good! Then we are all old friends and there need be no reserve. Let us sit out here rather than indoors. Oh, Suzanne ! (Huysman seats himself beside Mrs. Greenwood in the swing, and Graveur and Uncle David draw up easy-chairs. As they talk Suzanne appears, and at a gesture from her master, removes the hats and canes of the guests.) Huysman (to Mrs. Greenwood). You know, I dare say, that we three musketeers met years ago in Paris ? Mrs. G. Yes, I know — in the famous Latin Quarter. Graveur. Two of us thought we were artists, and one really was. Uncle D. They were talented too, Nancy, but they wouldn't work. Graveur ( twinkling) . Neither did he, Madame. 32 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! . HuYSMAN. He did not have to. He was as gay and irresponsible as the rest of us; but somehow he man- aged to snatch time to do real work that soon brought him under the eye of the masters. Mrs. G. I am glad I am at last to have the oppor- tunity of hearing about David from some other source than himself. He has a way of telling only the things he wants to tell. Graveur (dryly). Ah, yes, we all know that way of his. Some call him modest. I say he is just sly. Uncle D. If you boys have come over here to start trouble HuYSMAN. Not I, old friend. Why, Madame, he was the most terrible man in the Latin Quarter. Would you believe it, the first night I ever saw him he thrashed me outrageously ! Uncle D. (chuckling). He needed it, Nancy. HuYSMAN (genially). Oh, well, we have been friends ever since. Mrs. G. Then you two soon gave up your ambition to become artists ? Graveur. H we had not, our instructors would have died of an overdose of merriment. HuYSMAN (jovially). On the day that old Doriau threw his pallette at me I knew that I was not divinely appointed to be an artist. So I went back to my home in Brussels, and when I walked dejectedly into my father's study, he looked at me from over his glasses and said: "Ah, well, there is hope for an ass when he finds out he has truly been one." Uncle D. But Hy got even with him. When all Bel- gium was saying • " The King and Huysman — what would we do without them ? " then the old Baron would pace up and down on the beach at Ypres saying : " He was al- ways a noble boy." Mrs. G. (prettily). We parents are often kinder of heart than of tongue. Graveur. I cannot think of you as ever unkind in word or thought. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 33 Uncle D. Those are her company manners, Gravy, don't be fooled. Graveur. Not by you, David. Eighteen years of military life have opened my eyes to you, my man. Mrs. G. From art to the army must have been a be- wildering change. Uncle D. Not at all. As an artist all he ever did was to fight everybody and everything. So the whole Quarter got together and advised him to enter the army as a profession. After that, when we v/ould read of him forging to the front, we would say : " See there — we did that." Graveur. You see, Madame, he has much to say of us, but nothing of himself. Mrs. G. He is the most exasperating man I ever knew. I run after him all day long begging to know of this and that, and he hands out to me only the meagerest scraps of information. HuYSMAN. Always he is that way. After we three parted he would write me long letters of the others, but nothing of himself. Each year we would spend a month or so together, but no word of his success. All the while he was becoming a world famous artist — and how did I know ? Through the newspapers and magazines. Uncle D. That ought to be reliable enough for any one. Graveur (reproachfully). And I return from a cam- paign in Africa to know nothing of his fame. In Paris one day a friend says : " Come to the Salon to-day with me." So we go, and there I find a whole room given over to his paintings, and all Paris agog over them. I was furious ! Mrs. G. You had cause to be, General. Graveur. If he had only done one such thing — but no, it is all the time. Take as an instance, the trick he played upon us during the war Uncle D. Oh, Graveur, for Heaven's sake let's not go into that! Huysman. Old friend, we came over here for just 34 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! that purpose. We can never forgive you for the way you slipped out of France without a word to either of us. Graveur ( to Mrs. Greenwood) . As if the earth had swallowed him. {The two foreigners look at the culprit sternly.) Uncle D. {trying to explain). I was a physical wreck . . . my usefulness was gone. Why should I allow myself to be an added burden to an already over- burdened land ? I slipped away to come to you, Nan, but in England I went to pieces and for two years I was an invalid — no good to any one. HuYSMAN. And all the while we were searching, searching for you. Graveur. As the army moved from place to place, little children would ask us : " Have they found Uncle David ? " for so all France was calling you. Uncle D. {his voice none too steady). I ... I couldn't write — somehow or other ... I simply couldn't. ... Huysman {reproachfully) . You were afraid if we found you we would feel forced to decorate you — — Graveur. And kiss you on both cheeks — which so displeases you. Uncle D. {savagely). Confound you! You talk as if I were a prig ! Graveur. You are! The kind to whom two nations must send special envoys. Huysman {lightly). But we found where he was at last, Madame, and have tracked him to his lair. We thought to slip in upon him like thieves in the night, but through the carelessness of my secretary, the secret leaked out, and your Mayor got wind of our coming. Uncle D. {his eyes twinkling). Nancy, you should have seen the crowd that was down at the depot waiting for them! Mentor, the Division Superintendent, hap- pened to be there and he smuggled me over the tracks. The Mayor was there, as Guy would say : " With bells on." He was strutting up and down with a Judge on HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 35 either side of him. Outside the depot I could see hun- dreds of cars decorated with French and Belgian flags, and opposite the entrance the troop of Jackson Greys was drawn up impressively. HuYSMAN. As the train drew into the depot I looked out cautiously, and was amazed at the sight that greeted my eyes. Who was the handsome lad in the cocked hat, David? Mrs. G. That must have been my foster son, Richard. Uncle D. It was, and he was the cock of the walk. Wherever he went he was followed by an admiring crowd; and whenever he stood still the crowd gathered around him. Oh, our Dick is a hero — no doubt of that ! (Suzanne appears in the doorway and courtesies quaintly. ) Suzanne. Pardon, M'sieu, shall I serve the refresh- ments al fresco? Uncle D. No, we will come inside, Suzanne. {To others.) I want to show you fellows a picture I am working on. HuYSMAN. Perhaps we would better retire within doors to escape the angry mob which you say may over- take us. Uncle D. Good idea. They lynch 'em down here when they get mad. (They rise and start toward the house, Uncle David leading the way with Graveur, while Huysman gives his arm to Mrs. Greenwood.) Huysman. I feel sorry for you, David, when your irate fellow citizens discover the trick we have played upon them. But it was clever the way you slipped us from the train and into the closed car you had awaiting us. Uncle D. (from over his shoulder as he enters the house). Couldn't have done a thing without the Super- intendent. He worked the scheme. Mrs. G. (to Huysman as they pass inside). And you 36:: HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! may depend upon it that David worked the Superin- tendent. {They are no sooner in the house when from the near distance comes a troubled medley of bleating auto- mobile horns, and a moment or two later Caryl rushes in, her face a picture of indignation and dis- appointment. She stops short when she sees the court is deserted, calling out anxiously.) Caryl. Mother! Mother! Oh, dear, where is she? Mother ! {It is plain to be seen she is quite upset, and that no one can give her comfort but her mother. Mrs. Greenwood appears in the doorway.) Mrs. G. Did you call me, dear? (Caryl hurls herself at her mother, tempestuously un- loading upon her a tale of woe. ) ' Caryl. Mother, it's a shame ! A shame ! Mrs. G. {quietly). What is a shame, darling? What has happened? Caryl {indignantly). It was awful, Mother ! Every- body was down there to meet them and they never came ! {Enter boys and girls, all in haste and volubly in- censed. ) Guy {in a loud, angry voice). The Mayor's a nut! I tell the world he's a nut ! Tom. I came within an ace of telling him so myself. Jean. Well, why didn't you? Tom. How could I, silly, when he'd sneaked out ? Caryl. Daddy always did say he was one. Mrs. G. Hush, dear! {They gather around her excitedly, all talking at once.) Bob. Well, he is, Mrs. Greenwood! Tom. He's a coward HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO I ; ^J Mildred. It was awful ! Guy. He ought to be run out of town! Jerry. Just let him try to show his face! Caryl. And poor Richard — it was a shame ! Jean. I could just cry for him! Tom. Old Mayor better look out. Dick'll lick him for this yet ! Caryl (fiercely). I hope he does! Mrs. G. But you haven't told me a thing. What hap- pened? And why are you so bitter toward the Mayor? Mildred. It was awful Mrs. G. It must have been — but just what was awful ? Caryl. Well, Mother, everything started out just lovely. The streets were decorated with flags and things. Jean. And everybody was out in their cars. Tom. All of 'em fixed up swell ! Bob. And the troop rode up to meet them at the station. Caryl. And, Mother, Richard looked wonderful on his horse, riding at the head of the troop. Mildred. Like a god. Tom. Slush ! But he sure can ride a horse, old Dick can. Mrs. G. And then what happened? Caryl. When the troop rode up to the depot every- body followed them. Guy. Yes, the Mayor — darn him ! Tom. He was bowing to everybody like he was the President. Bob. Old fool, nobody was looking at him ! - Caryl. Then everybody went into the depot, and the Mayor went around shaking hands with us all. Guy. Makes me sick when I think about his shaking my hand! Caryl. And then he made a speech, telling us (Mock- ing him.) what a wonderful occasion it was, especially for his young friends gathered there. (They all laugh and shout: " Go on! " "Just the way he talked! " She takes up the tale in the spirit of audacious mimicry.) jS HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO Think of it, my young friends, two of the greatest, most spectacular figures in the World War — the most tre- mendous conflict ever waged — these two renowned heroes will be with us within but a few short mo- ments Tom. That's the stuff Jean. His very words ! Jerry. Go on, Caryl ! Mrs. G. {laughing). No, that is enough. Are you going to keep me waiting all day to know what happened ? Guy. You wouldn't be the only one then who's waited to-day for something to happen and it didn't happen at all. Caryl {taking up the tale). Mother, he had us all practicing yells to greet them, and singing the Mar- seillaise Tom. We sang it fierce, too. Mildred. I thought it sounded fine. Mrs. G. And then ? (There is an ominous pause, when all stop and look at each other in dark, meaningful silence.) Caryl (tensely). We waited and waited and they never came ! Jean. But that wasn't the meanest part of it. Caryl (with flashing eyes). No! What do you think the Mayor did? Mrs. G. I can't imagine. Caryl. Somebody brought him a note and he looked awfully funny when he read it. Jerry. He certainly did. I noticed it at the time. Tom. Then he got all the other people together and talked to them Guy. I remember now they looked kind of mad, but we were having such a good time we didn't pay any at- tention to them. Caryl. Then he sent Richard out to see how the troop was getting on, and while he was gone the Mayor slipped out. I saw him. It was past time for the train, HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 39 and I had seen one come in, but thought, of course, it was not the one we were looking for. We were all laughing at the funny new bob Nell Trail has on her hair, when Richard came back in, and we heard him say the worst swear word, Mother ! And what do you think had happened ? The Mayor, the Judges and everybody's fathers and mothers had disappeared, and — and they had slipped away and left us there. Did you ever hear of anything meaner than that. Mother ? Guy. We'd have waited there all afternoon if it hadn't been for Richard. He saw through the trick right away and sent us home. Jerry. Dick was hot. Bob. Never saw him madder. Jean. Well, I don't blame him! Caryl. It was mean — mean! Mrs. G. I believe this is Richard coming now. {Enter Richard. He comes striding in like the God of Wrath riding upon a storm cloud. At sight of Mrs. Greenwood his cheeks flush and the expression on his face becomes strained and unforgiving ; but he marches straight up to her, coming to attention a few feet from her. Mrs. Greenwood knows there is trouble ahead for her, but she is used to handling young people with hurt feelings, so she meets the issue with frank gentleness. The boys and girls all stare at Richard in wide-eyed astonishment. ) Tom {hushed voice). What's the matter now, Dick? Mildred. Oh, Richard, have you been licking the Mayor ? {With one haughty glance he reduces them to im- potent silence.) Mrs. G. {quietly). Well, Richard? Richard {trying to be calm). I hate to believe this of you, Mother. Mrs. G. What is it, dear? Richard {indignantly blurting out his words). You 40 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! and Uncle David played a trick on me — and the whole town! Mrs. G. And which was hurt most, Richard, you or the town ? Richard (stiffly). There's nothing funny about it — if it's true. (Sternly.) Mother, is it true? Mrs. G. What, Richard? Richard. That Huysman and Graveur are heref (Great excitement among the young people.) Caryl (shrilly). Here? Guy. What's that you say? Tom. Not here in this house? Mildred. Whatever are they doing here? Richard. That is what I want to know. How did they get here, and in the name of all conscience why are those two world famous heroes hiding in this house of Uncle David's when half the town has turned out to welcome them? Mrs. G. (trying to placate him). It was their wish, Richard. They wanted no one to know they were here. Richard. So you did know? Mrs. G. Yes, but we were bound by an oath of secrecy to the French Legation to say nothing about it. Though it was very hard to keep our promise when we saw all the preparations going on for their reception. Richard (in hurt tones). Surely you could have told me! Mrs. G. Not even you, my boy. Richard (irritably). What do they want with Uncle David, anyway? Caryl (with sudden suspicion). Mother, he hasn't done anything, has he? Mrs. G. (trying not to smile). I am afraid he has, Caryl, a number of things. (A shiver of horror runs over all those present. Richard looks stunned, Guy and Caryl move closer together, as though in their family disgrace they will cleave to each other.) HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 4I Caryl {crushed). Mother! Richard. Good Lord, you don't mean Guy. They didn't come to — to Mrs. G. {the twinkle in her eye belying the gravity of her tone). I am afraid they did, Guy. {The outsiders look on in shocked silence. Caryl looks at her mother with a hint of suspicion in her glance.) Caryl. I believe you are trying to tease us, Mother. (Uncle David now thrusts his head out of the door and calls.) Uncle D. Oh, Nancy! Mrs. G. Coming, David! {They watch her departure in troubled silence. Caryl lanes a quick siep after her retreating form, abruptly changes her mind, and as her mother disappears into the house, turns to the others with questioning inde- cision. ) Caryl. Is she joking; or does she really mean it? Richard {curtly). Of course she means it. I tell you there is something wrong here. Radically wrong:. Caryl {highly wrought up). I said from the first there was something mighty funny about the way he came home. Didn't I, Guy? Guy. You sure did ! Caryl. Mysterious, I called it. Didn't I? Guy. I thought so too. Richard. I've been expecting something of this kind to happen any day. Caryl. It is positively crushing ! {The outsiders look on deeply sympathetic^) Jean {to others). I think we'd better go, don't you? Tom {reluctantly) . Maybe we'd better. Richard {stoically). No — no! You have seen this much of our family trouble, so there is no need of your 42 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! going now. Besides, something must be done, and I may need your help. (They were going unwillingly, and now they remain eagerly. ) Jean. What are you going to do, Richard? Richard. I can't tell yet. I'll have to think it over. Caryl. What do you suppose he has done. Brother? Richard. He has been getting in bad with the French and Belgian governments, I'm afraid. Guy. Mother admitted as much. Tom. She didn't look like she felt very bad about it. Caryl {darkly). You can't tell about Mother. But what do you think they will do to him? Richard. Take him back with them. Bob. But he's an American citizen. Richard (scornfully). What good will that do him if they have extradition papers? (Each one steals a secret glance at the others to see if they know what this really means, and it is plain each thinks it is some new kind of terror they know not of.) Guy (weakly). Extra — ex {His voice trails off into nothingness.') Mildred. Isn't it awful ! Caryl. What do you suppose he did ? Richard. How do I know? But it must have been serious; mighty serious. Caryl (thoughtfully). But he seems so kind. If it wasn't that he is an artist I believe I would like him. Guy (boldly). I Hke him anyway. Caryl. So do I ! Richard. Well, it doesn't matter what he has done. He is Mother's brother, and must be saved from these foreigners at any price. Caryl (gently reminiscent). He has the funniest twinkle in his eyes. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 43 Tom.- Whatever you do you'll have to hurry, for like as not they'll take him away with them on that midnight train. Richard. We must act at once. Leave the thing to me and I'll put it over. {There is an eager stir.) Jerry. What are you going to do, Dick ? Richard. It will have to be some cave man stuff, I'm thinking. Guy. Sure — that's the only way. Tom. But just how are you going about it ? Jean (bubbling over with a great idea). Why don't you call out the troop, Richard, and ride up here to- night, steal Uncle David, and hide him away some place until they are all gone? Richard (impatiently). That would never do. Why, don't you see, that would bring about international com- plications ? (They look at each other in puzzled silence.) Tom ( feeling that something must be said). Yes, you're right about that, Dick. Richard. Of course, I am. Whatever I do must be done in an unofficial capacity, and not as Captain of the Greys. Caryl. Well, for goodness sake think up something quick, for I wouldn't have anything happen to Uncle David for worlds. If only he had been in the war I wouldn't have a thing against him. Richard (mysteriously) . I am afraid he was, though. (Chorus of: "Honest, Dick?" "You don't mean itf" *' How awful! ") I think he has escaped from a military prison, and they have come after him. Guy. He doesn't look like that kind. Richard. You can't tell. Caryl (with feeling) . I don't believe it ! Richard. Anyway, we must save him. He is an 44 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! American citizen and your uncle. Now this is a plan that has just flashed into my head Jerry. Sing it out, Dick! Richard. You will all have to help. {Another chorus of: "We'll be there!" "Trust us!") Caryl, yours will be the most difficult part — save my own. Caryl. Oh, I will do anything to save him. Richard. Then to-night you must act a great part. You must be a vamp. Caryl (disgusted and rebellious). A vamp! Richard. That's what I said. You must lure Huys- man and Graveur, one at a time, out to the swing, and then you must be so fascinating that you will make them forget all about Uncle David. Caryl. I can't, Richard. You know I hate that vamp stuff. Richard (firmly). You must. And meanwhile we will be hiding out there in the pergola, and we'll sing softly; that will make it easier for you. Caryl (fretfully). Well, don't let Guy and Tom sing then. When they get started it always sounds like some one was robbing a hen-house. Tom. The nerve f Guy. I would talk if I were you ! Mildred. Isn't this thrilling! I'd love to do it, Caryl. Caryl (to Richard). Let her do it then. Richard. Don't you want to save your uncle ? Caryl. Of course I do. Richard (sternly). Then do as I say. Caryl (rebelliously). What are you going to do? Richard. When you have him in a good humor I'll slip in behind him and throw a noose over his head. The boys will run in then, bind him, carry him to the car, and when we get both of them we'll slip away to the depot and stow them away in a freight car. Nobody vf^W know who did it, and in the meantime Uncle David can get away and they'll never find him. Jean. Wonderful ! HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 45 Bob. Say, Dick, that's a great scheme! Jerry. Air tight, I call it ! Caryl (m despair). And I have to vamp two men! Guy. Aw, that's easy! Caryl. I wish you had to do it. Richard. Come on, all of you! Let's go over home and plan this out to the last detail. Guy. I'll say we'd better. Tom (dryly). Have to show Caryl how to be a vamp. Caryl (indignantly, as she marches off). I'd rather climb a telegraph pole. Anyway, I don't believe Uncle David ever did anything to be extra — whatever-you-call- it — for. (Richard calls them all to "Come on!" and they follow, talking excitedly: " This is great! " " I'm kind, of scared, aren't youf " " Scared! Shucks, I can hardly wait for night to come! " When they are all gone, Suzanne enters, peers about her to see if she is alone, then ventures further onto the scene, though keeping well to the rear. At this moment Caryl reenters, preoccu- pied and a hit down-hearted. She has come for her hat, which she has left on one of the chairs, picks it up and starts to go, but at sight of Suzanne, who has not yet noticed the girl, she drops it again and calls softly to the French woman. ) Suzanne ! Suzanne (starting in surprise). It is then ma petite, Caryl? (Turning to go.) I thought no one was out here. Caryl (pleadingly). Don't go, Suzanne! Stay just a little while. There are so many things I want to ask you. Suzanne. No, let it be some other time. I am but a sorrowful woman to-day. My heart is heavy. Caryl (taking her hand impulsively). But if you're sad, Suzanne, it is the worst thing in the world to go moping off by yourself. Suzanne (smiling in spite of herself as she allows Caryl to pidl her down upon the swing with her) . Ah, then, you too have suffered? Caryl. Well — well, I know what it is to be awfully 46 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! sad. . . . Daddy says it's indigestion — ^too much candy and pickles and things — but that isn't it at all, is it, Suzanne ? Suzanne {amused). No, no! He does not under- stand, I fear. Caryl. Being a man he couldn't. Men are the queerest things ! Now Daddy gives me the money, and then when I spend it he thinks it is awful because I do. Suzanne (understandingly) . So stupid! Caryl. Isn't it? What good is money if you don't spend it? Suzanne. Ah, my child, how like the good master you are. Caryl (with shy eagerness). Uncle David? Suzanne. Oui, ma petite. ♦ Caryl (edging closer). Am I really like him? Tell me, Suzanne. Suzanne. In many, many ways. Caryl (off her guard). Oh, dear, I hope I won't turn out to be an artist ! It's all right for Uncle David Suzanne (almost sharply). You think so now, then ? (Caryl looks ashamed and ^ncomfortable.) Caryl. Suzanne, I am ashamed of the way I have treated him. Suzanne. One would be. Caryl. I should think so! It isn't that I was mean to him, or said anything horrid. I just didn't pay much attention to him at all. Suzanne. We French are not so cold. Caryl. Don't say that, Suzanne! . . . You see, I. was ashamed of him because he was an artist. Suzanne (unable to believe her ears). Mais non! Caryl. It is true, Suzanne. It didn't seem like a real man to go around painting pictures . . . not like any man I had ever known. I have been ashamed of him ever since I found he could make flowers grow. Suzanne (scornfully). Is It a crime in this country for a man to love beautiful things? HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 47 Caryl {determined to have the misery all her own). Don't blame it on the United States, Suzanne, it's all my fault ! Suzanne (o glint of humor in her sad eyes). One cannot wonder then at your sadness. Caryl. I am sorry, Suzanne. I wonder if he will ever forgive me. Suzanne. Dear child, his heart is so great he does not even know you need to be forgiven, Caryl {suddenly, hut with delicate understanding). You love him too, don't you, Suzanne ? Suzanne {her face grown sad again). I worship the master. Caryl {curiously). How long have you known him? Suzanne. For as long as you have been in this world. Caryl {amazed at this vast stretch of time). Fif- teen years! Goodness me! Where did you live, Su- zanne ? Suzanne. In Beloit, a village not far from the Bel- gian border. Caryl. How did he ever find you in the first place ? Suzanne. He came there to paint, and liking the looks of our humble cottage, he asked if he might re- main with us for a few days. Caryl {frankly curious). Did you have any chil- dren? Suzanne. No. The good man — ^he was all I had. Caryl. Oh, yes — your husband. Did Uncle David come back there often? Suzanne. He came back for a part of every year, and soon Baptiste and I would have died for him gladly. Caryl. Baptiste was your husband's name? Suzanne. Oui — Heaven rest his soul ! Caryl. And Uncle David always stayed with you and Baptiste? Suzanne. From that time we labored but for him. Caryl. Tell me; what was Uncle David like before he was taken sick? Mother says he was a big man. Suzanne {proudly). A great man and afraid of no 48 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO I one. With a laugh that was overlarge for our little house. Caryl (pleased). He was good fun, then? Suzanne. Aye, that he was! Ah, what a man — so quick to love, so quick to fight and so quick to forgive ! Caryl (wondering). But he is so different now. Suzanne. In those days he was blessed with robust health. Caryl. Do you think he will ever be jolly again ? Suzanne (sadly). Jamais — he could not be. He has suffered too much. Caryl (a coaxing note in her voice). Was Uncle David in Beloit when the German Army marched into France ? Suzanne. No, he was in Belgium sketching along the lovely canal near Bruges. Ah, if he had only been there to tell our poor, simple people what to do! We said they would never dare set foot in France — jamais ! Caryl. Did they come, Suzanne? I hope they didn't come to Beloit. Suzanne (grimly). But they did! Mon Dieu, they came ! We had foolishly begun to feel we had no cause to fear . . . but they came. Caryl (shuddering). What did they do ? Was there no way to escape ? Suzanne. No, child, no way to turn. The fair land of France was aswarm with Hun soldiers, Caryl. Oh, Suzanne, can you tell me — just a little more? (Suzanne sits for a moment or two lost in bitter memories. She sighs, and then takes up the tale in a low, even voice.) Suzanne. Into every house came little squads of soldiers. . . . Many drunk with blood and wine. . . . They took away our men. . . . Stood them against the wall of the town hall. . . . Shot them like so many dogs. . . . My Baptiste— he too was there! HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 49 Caryl (seeing the war in a new light). Oh, Suzanne ! Poor Suzanne. . . . ( Tragically. ) What if that had been Daddy ? . . . And you, Suzanne ? Suzanne. The master returned and saved me. Caryl (joyfully). He came back then? Suzanne. Yes. How he reached there I can never know, but he came to our house one night — the pitiful ruins of our home — and together we fled. Caryl {wildly excited). And they did not find you? Suzanne. Almost — many times, but always we escaped. Caryl (uncertainly, but spurred on by an overpower- ing curiosity). Suzanne, did Uncle David ever fight in the war ? Suzanne (critically). No — not with a gun. Caryl (puzzled). What do you mean? Suzanne. He fought with his great heart. Caryl (tensely). Tell me, Suzanne, did Suzanne (rising). Not to-day, ma petite. I am too sad. _ Caryl (rising also and catching the French woman's hand). But you will tell me more about Uncle David, won't you ? Suzanne. Often and often. I can never be done telling of him. (As she starts to go Caryl calls to her softly.) Caryl. Suzanne ! Suzanne (from over her shoulder). Yes, little one? Caryl (a bit huskily). I — I'm so sorry about Bap- tiste. SuzA^T^-E (touched). Bless you, ma petite. How like the good master you are ! CURTAIN ACT III SCENE. — Same as before. Time: evening of the same day, only the light of day is replaced by the soft glow shed from the two, quaint, old-fashioned lanterns that adorn the door-posts. Light also filters out through the windows and door of the brightly illuminated house where one can occasionally hear voices in conversa- tion, the deeper tones of Uncle David and the two foreigners interspersed with the softer notes of Mrs. Greenwood. (Two figures are discovered center stage, engaged in earnest conversation. These are Richard and Caryl. He is clad in a somber suit that at once proclaims him a man beset with a deep, dark purpose. She is attired in a girlish pink dress of some diapha- nous stuff, very illusive and extremely becoming. He is examining her with marked approval, and trying to strengthen her to a task which she approaches with no little trepidation.) Richard. Now that's the way I wanted you to look. You're dressed the part to a " T." Caryl (skeptically). I never saw a vamp dressed like this. They always wear long, clinging things, and walk like a fish. Richard (wisely). Ah, but there are vamps and vamps. Now you are the little innocent kind that bowls 'em over with her sweetness. That dress is a stunner, Sis! Caryl. I had the worst time with Mother about it. Richard. What's the matter — didn't want you to wear it ? Caryl. I should say not — she was almost stem. 50 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 5t Richard. She'll be sorry when she knows why you wanted to wear it. Caryl (dubiously). She'll have to change a lot then. I had to talk and talk. If she hadn't found me with it already on I'd have never gotten by. You know, it's my brandest, newest dress, and she wanted me to save it until Daddy comes home next week. Richard (consolingly). Don't you bother about that, Caryl. These little worries won't amount to a hill of beans compared to the big things we are going to pull off to-night. Caryl. Oh dear, I wish it was to-morrow or next week or something ! Richard. Now cheer up, child. It won't be half bad when you get started. Why, believe me, you're a regular little picture to-night. Caryl. Oh, I reckon my clothes are all right, but they won't help me talk to — to those men. I don't know what to say. Richard. Pshaw ! I never saw you when you didn't have too much to say. Caryl. I just hate you — sometimes ! Richard. I was just kidding — you can handle them all right. Caryl. That's easy to say Richard (knowingly) . Well now, I'll tell you. Yots have forgotten something you left in there, you run in to get it, and you're awfully surprised when you find the General and the Baron are there. Then of course. Mother or Uncle David will introduce you. I'm counting on that little scene taking you a long way, for you always blush and act just a little timid at such times, and that will take like anything with those foreigners. Caryl. I know I'll fall over my feet. Richard. Oh, no you won't! And after you are introduced, then you fasten on one of 'em and talk to him for all you're worth. Just be natural. Caryl (dismally). Natural! . . . I'll be scared stiff! 52 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! Richard. Nonsense ! Talk to him sweet — you know, like you talk to Father when you're trying to wheedle something out of him. Caryl (deciding to laugh a little). I — I'll try. RiCHAjiD. And then when you get him just where you want him, suggest that it is so much pleasanter out- side. Of course, by that time he'll be delighted to come with you, and once you get him out in the swing, I'll attend to the rest. Caryl {sighing). It sounds easier than it is. Richard {impatiently). After it is all over won't you be proud to think you have done your part in saving your uncle ? Caryl {thoughtfully). Yes. ... I would do anything for him. Richard, I am ashamed of the way I have treated Uncle David. Richard. Now is your chance, then, to do him a good turn. Caryl. I am so puzzled about him. I just can't believe he has done anything wrong. Richard. What you think won't help him with these foreigners. We must act and act quickly if we hope to save him. Now listen : The rest of us will be over by the pergola waiting for the time to step in. I'll give you time enough to get the Baron — I'd begin with him if I were you — to get the Baron outside and into the swing. Then we'll give you a little soft music. That with this romantic light out here will do wonders — and when I think the time is ripe, we'll slip up behind you and throw a noose over the Baron's head. He'll be too surprised to fight, and we'll hustle him out of the way in a hurry. Caryl. It's real creepy sounding, isn't it? {After a thoughtful moment.) Well, I suppose I might as well go in and begin. Richard. Yes, run along. The sooner it's over tlie better for us all. Caryl. And Richard, don't let the others hang around and listen. I couldn't say a word if I thought they were near. HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO ! 53 Richard. Trust me, I'll look after them. Caryl. All right then. Go on, Richard. I don't want anybody watching me when I go in. Richard. Just as you say. Good luck, Caryl ! You'll not fail us? Caryl (hesitatingly) . Not if I can help it. Richard (moving toward the wings). You'll work the game all right. I'm for you. (Caryl stands looking after him in troubled silence. Her uncle comes to the door, and seeing the girl steps outside, and stands looking toward her, wistful and uncertain. Finally he speaks gently so ^ " 6 >^ " 6 y " 5 >^ " 7 >^ " 7 2 1 " 14 IX " 9 ly " lo X " 5 3 I " II lO \y " trie* BAKER, Hamilton Place, Boston, Mass. 1 .IBRARY OF CONGRESS 1 L^ 015 825 930 8 • Plays and Novelties ThatrxiLaver ueeii^ ^^wmneTs " MaUt T tmaht T> T* Prie* Ro/all/ Camp Fidelity Qirts II ^% hrs," 35c None Anita's Trial II 2 " 35 c It Tlie Farmerette 7 2 " 35c i< Betiind the Sceaes 12 ^Yz If 35c « The Camp Fire Girls ^5 2 " 35c « A Case for Sherlock nlolmes lo ^% « 35c " The House in Laurel Lane 6 ^% « 25c « Her First Assignment to I « 25c i His Pother's Son 14 134 « 35c M The Man With the Nose 8 % " 25c « On the Quiet 12 I^ «' 35c <4 The People's Money II I^ '• 25c « A Ref^ular Rah ! Rah 1 Boy »4 I^ l< 3SC H A Regular Scream II •X M 35c (!< Schmerccase in School 9 I " 25c « The Scoutmaster lO 2 « 3SC U The Tramps' Convention *7 ^Y^ « 25c « The Turn in the Road 9 ^Y^ " 25c