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Motion Song 11 PLAYS FOR MALE CHARACTERS ONLY IS CENTS EACH M APRIL FOOLS. 1 Act; 30 minutes 3 BYRD AND HURD. 1 Act; 40 minutes 6 DARKEY WOOD DEALER. 1 Act; 20 minutes 8 WANTED, A MAHATMA. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 HOLY TERROR. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 MANAGER'S TRIAL.S. 1 Act; 1 hour 9 MEDICA. 1 Act; 35 minutes 7 NIGGER NIGHT SCHOOL. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SLIM JIM AiND THE HOODOO. 1 Act; 30 minutes 5 WANTEf).*-A? CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SNOBSOII^-'S 'stag PARTY. 1 Act; 1 hour.. 12 PICKLES AND TICKLES. 1 Act; 20 minutes 6 HARVEST STORM. 1 Act; 40 minutes 10 CASE OF HERR BAR ROOMSKI. Mock Trial; 2 hours... 28 DARKEY BREACH OF PROMISE CASE. Mock Trial. 22 GREAT LIBEL CASE. Mock Trial; 1 Scene; 2 hours 21 RIDING THE GOAT. Burlesque Initiation; 1 Scene; li^ hours 24 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y. FOUND IN A CLOSET A Flay In One Act BY CARLTON VAN VALKENBURG Copyright 1916 by Dick & Fitzgerald NEW YORK DICK & FITZGERALD 18 ANN STREET FOUND IN A CLOSET. CHARACTERS. Patricia Van Dike An art student, known as " Pat.'* Ethel Bird , A music student, Pat's friend' Mrs. Brown The landlady William Winner A former lodger, known as " Bill " Tims.— The present. Locality.— -Boston. Time of Playing. — Twenty minutes. COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS. Patricia. — Wears artist's smock. Ethel.— Wears a light dress and hat, carrying parasol, flowers and a wicker basket. William Winner. — Wears business suit. Mrs. Brown. — Wears ordinary house dress. INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES. A number of letters, red ribbon, watch for Patricia. Parasol, quaint, heavy, odd-shaped wicker basket, bunch of flowers for Ethel. Tea caddy and tea kettle in trunk, also a long scarf wrapped around two cups and saucers, pair of shoes, and a pair of corsets in trunk. STAGE DIRECTIONS. As seen by a performer on the stage facing the audience, R., means right-hand; l., left-hand; c, center of stage; R. c, right of center ; d. l., door at left. Up means to^^jd back of stage ; down, toward footlights u^l * *y''^_^^ p means StP I2I|1)%|,D 44867 •"V^ I TMP96-006789 FOUND IN A CLOSET. SCENE. — Room in a Boston lodging house. Door in rear fiat R. C, opening into a closet, and door in rear flat l. c, open- ing into hallway. Practical window with shade r. Down R. a sofa on which is a large hat box, several sofa pillows and some clothing. In front of sofa is a plain round center table. In the center and slightly to the rear is a large trunk, closed but unlocked. Up l. is an artist's easel with an un- Unished picture unframed. Several smaller framed pictures lean against the base of the easel. Two chairs loaded down and several small packing boxes complete the confusion. The room is in disorder. DISCOVERED Patricia, laugh- ing loudly, curled up comfortably on the sofa between hat box and sofa pillows with letters and a long red ribbon in her hands. Other letters lie on the floor and some are in her lap. As she controls her laughter a voice is heard in the hall and then a knock at d. l. Patricia {jumps up quickly, the letters fall on the floor). Come in. ENTER Ethel d. l., carrying a parasol, a quaint, heavy odd- shaped wicker basket, and a bunch of flowers. Ethel. Pat. Pat. Ah, Ethel, dear, I knew it was you. Ethel {dropping basket and parasol on floor, but clutching the flowers). Great heavens, Pat.! What on earth have you been about ? Pat. {embraces Ethel). About crazy with laughter the last five minutes. Thank you, dear. {Takes flowers from Ethel and lays them on table) Ethel. Well, you're crazy enough all right. Here I ex- pected to find everything in order, and every picture hung and not one thing have you done towards getting settled. {Stands looking around in dismay) 3 4 Found in a Closet. Pat, Yes I have I I've brushed off the top shelf in the closet fand that's the cause of it all! (Stoops to pick up letters) Ethel (picks up parasol, crosses to closet door, opens it, looks in, takes off her hat and hangs it up with her parasol on a *hook). Well, I always use my closets to put things into. 'Mother said I might stay all night so I'll just start this closet to work. Pat. (looking at her watch, holding it to her ear). Goodness sakes alive! It's tea time! I had no idea it was so late. But those letters were as absorbing as a sponge. Ethel (picks up Patricia's hat and wrap, and a hat box from the sofa and puts them all in the closet). Who is this absorbing person writing to you? I hope you are not having another one of those foolish love affairs of yours. Pat. (stops in the midst of pushing the trunk against the wall between the closet and d. l.). Love affair, I? (With a toss of her head) Well, I should say not! Ethel (stops, throws her arm about Patricia). We're both agreed on that. (Tosses her head defiantly) The best man on earth isn't worth a " once over " as Nell Hicky would say. (Looking curiously towards the bay window) Say, Pat., who are the good looking men in the window across the street? Pat. (turning in that direction). Students, I suppose, — their curiosity indicates an interest in the study of Ethel. Audacity, I should say! That tall good looking one is using a pair of opera glasses. Pat. (indignantly crosses to the window and pulls down the ^hade). I'll have sash curtains up here to-morrow. Men are the limit Even the writer of those letters was no exception. Ethel. If you say another word about those letters you will have my curiosity aroused, but first, where is your tea kettle? i'll start the water boiling. (Looks around) Pat. Let me see — it's in that box — no, it's in this trunk. ]{Opens trunk, taking out long silk scarf wrapped around two cups and saucers, a pair of shoes, a pair of corsets and then the iea caddy and kettle. The shoes and corsets are dropped on the floor in full view of the audience. Ethel puts tea caddy and kettle on the table) Oh goodness, I forgot to get some cake! Ethel. Mother sent over a nest egg for your larder. (Picks up basket and hands it to Patricia) Here are some beans, a glass of jelly, some cake and cookies, and a few of those de- licious doughnuts that Mary makes. And I stopped for a jar of cream. Pat. (embraces her). Your mother is a darling and you are Found in a Closet. 5 a second edition. (Patricia peeks into basket and sets it "down by table) Ethel. Now let's sit down and wait for the kettle. I know you are already bubbling over to tell me about those letters. iWho wrote them? Pat. I really don't know. Ethel. Don't know? Then why are you reading them? Let me see them. Pat. Oh, you'd read the last one first and spoil the whole ro- mance. Ethel. Romance? Pat. Yes, they are letters from a girl to her fiance and his answers. Ethel. And no names signed? Pat. She signs hers, " Devotedly yours, Firefly," and he signs his, " Yours wholly. Bill ". Ethel. "Wholly, Bill?" (Ethel shows some sign of being shocked) Pat. Yes! What's the matter? Ethel. Nothing — only that reminded me that mother told me to stop and get the butcher's bill. (Ethel sits back in the .pillows) Pat. The girl is evidently a Bostonian and he a Southerner at Harvard. (Patricia arranges the letters) They meet at a musical and swish in no time he is writing of the passion of impatience that nearly consumes him during the interim of a few days. He is fast and furious as Southerners are and fre- quently chides her for not being demonstrative enough. They become engaged, she goes to Washington for a month, and while there he writes a proposal of marriage to another girl in Boston, one he had never seen, and in his most florid style de- clares he has watched the flicker of her light from the hedge in- numerable successive nights; has waited hours upon the corner, that he might breathe that heavenly perfume of her presence as she passed him by, and what a thrill of rapture possessed him as a ribbon of her fluttering gown touched but the sleeve of his coat. Unluckily for him the girls were friends and " post-haste " the proposal was forwarded to the fiancee at Washington with some delicious comments as to his sanity and perfidy. The result was that his fiancee immediately returned to Boston, packed up all the letters he had written to her, together with his proposal to her friend, sending them to him with the demand that he never let her see his face again. He called, and was refused admission. His letters to her and to her friend were also refused. He rushed south to enlist the aid 6 Found in a Closet. of his mother and upon their arrival in Boston the fiancee's' house was found to be closed and his fiancee in Europe. If the poor little fool had only read his explanation she would have saved herself a heart break. Ethel. His explanation, what was it? Pat. I'm getting to that. He was proposed for membership to a fraternity, and the stunt they compelled him to do, was to write a proposal of marriage to a girl he had never met. Ethel. Boo-hoo, oh-boo-hoo — Gimme those letters — (Kiss- ing letters and crying) Oh, Bill, I've been a horrid little fool. Pat. What in the world's the matter, Ethel, are you ill? Ethel. Matter enough. Those letters are Will Winner's and mine. Pat. Will Winner! (Astonished) Ethel. Where is he ? oh — he used to sit on this couch, oh^=— ^ Pat. Hush, Ethel — I'll find out where he has gone. Ethel. I'll bet he's one of those horrid boys across the way. Got any opera glasses, Pat.? (Crosses to window, runs up shade, looks across while Patricia crosses to d. l., opening door quickly, Mrs. Brown, who has been listening at the door, tum- bles in on the floor) Pat. (indignantly). Mrs. Brown, what have you to say for yourself ? Mrs. Brown (picking herself up and folding her hands across her stomach in an embarrassed way) Jest this much, Mumm. That yew can go on stayen here if yew want to. I think yer a very decent young woman, an' them's the only kind I likes to let my rooms to. Pat. Where did Mr. Winner go when he moved out of this room? Mrs. Brown. He's tuk a bigger wun down-stairs. (Ethel hoo-hoos) Pat. Is he in? (A man's voice is heard singing in the hall) William (off stage, singing). My landlady's Mrs. Brown She's the greatest saint in town As particular as particular can be. Oh, it's only by her nose I know where my whisky goes For she tipples on the strict Q. T. Mrs. Brown. ) t-u i.» u- ■p > That s his voice. Pat. Tell him that the new lodger wishes to speak to him. Found in a Closet. 7j [(Mrs. Brown EXITS, Patricia picks up the letters, quickly running the red ribbon around them, forcing them into Ethel's hands, pushes her gently but quickly into the closet, closing the door. Knock is heard) Come in! (ENTER William d. c.) Oh, Mr. Winner, I believe? Will. That's my name. You sent for me, did you? Pat. Yes. I believe you left a package of letters on the shelf of that closet. Will. I did? Pat. Please see if there is anything else there belonging to you. (William opens the door and Ethel falls into his arms, sobbing) Ethel. Oh, Bill. Will. Ethel! Pat. Well, — she is settled, if I am not! CURTAIN. FARCES TANGLES Farce in One Act. Four Males, Two Females By C. Leona Dalrymple One interior scene. Bill Tracy accepts Mrs. Janeway's Invitation to Sinner, intended for his cousin, Phil. Tracy, who is Jack Janeway'8 chum. Elsie, her maid, advertised for a husband under the soubriquet of " Bright Eyes." Jenkins, Bill's valet, answers it as X. Y. Z. The mistakes in identity get them into a tangle of surprises, finally un- raveled by Jack, who arrives opportunely. The " situations " are tremendously funny and keep the audience in roars of laughter. Plays forty-five minutes. PRICE 15 CENTS ^^ A NIGHT IN TAPPAN Farce in One Act. Two Males, Three Females By O. B. Dubois One Interior scene. The action commences at 10 : 45 P. M., on th* arrival of Mr. and Sirs. John Betts, quite unexpectedly, at the bomb of Mr. Augustus Betts, while Mrs. Augustus Betts is awaiting her husband's return from the city. The complications caused by a saucy, blundering, Irish servant, Mr. Augustus being entirely Ignorant of the new arrivals, are screamingly bewildering. Plays about thirty minutes. PRICE 15 CENTS KISSING THE WBONG GIBL Farce in One Act. One Male, Two Females By W. C. Paekek No scenery needed. It is the case of a " cheeky " book-agent, two Bisters who look much alike, all sorts of funny mistakes, and any number of ridiculous situations, that will keep the audience in a con- tinuous roar of laughter. The piece can be played either " straight " or with specialties. Plays about thirty minutes. PRICE 15 CENTS THE NEW BEPORTER Farce in One Act. Six Males, Two Females By Franklin Johnston One Interior scene. Hobbs, the proprietor of a newspaper, is expecting a new reporter, whom he has engaged on trial. Nancy, Hobbs' daughter, persuades her lover. Jack, who is unknown to her father, to personify the new reporter, and gets to work. The blunders he makes, and the arrival of Tupper, the real reporter, result in a general flare-up, until explanations are made, and Tupper is per- suaded by Nancy to retire in favor of Jack. Plays forty-five minutes, PRICE 15 CENTS MA'S NEW BOABDEBS Farce in One Act. Four Males, Four Females By W. C. Parker No scenery required. Mrs. Holdtight leaves her boarding-house In her daughter's charge. Prof. Alto-Gether calls a rehearsal of thfc village choir, but gives them the wrong address. The choir turns ur at Mrs. H.'s, and are mistaken for new boarders. Then follows » uproarious series of incidents that end in the Professor's round-u^ Can be played " straight " or with specialties. Excellent chance for eingle or double quartette. Plays thirty minutes. PRICE 15 CENTS. MILITARY PLAYS 25 CENTS EACH n. p. BY THE ENEMY'S HAND. 4 Acts; 2 hours iO 4 EDWARDS, THE SPY. 5 Acts; 2]^ hours 10 4 PRISONER OF ANDERSONVILLE. 4 Acts; 2J4 hours.. 10 4 CAPTAIN DICK. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 9 6 ISABEL, THE PEARL. OF CUBA. 4 Acts; 2 hours 9 3 LITTLE SAVAGE. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 4 4 BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. (15 cents.) 5 Acts; 2}4 hours 9 3 BETWEEN TWO FIRES. 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COMEDIES ANE 25 CENTS E BREAKING HIS BONDS. 4 Acts BUTTERNUT'S BRIDE. 3 Acts; 1 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 016 103 997 4 COLLEGE CHUMS. 3 Acts;. 2 hours; 1 stage sseiung ir COUNT OF NO ACCOUNT. 3 Acts; 2i^ hours 9 4 DEACON. 5 Acts; 21^ hours... 8 6 DELEGATES FROM DEN"VER. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 3 10 DOCTOR BY COURTESY. 3Act8;2hourB 6 5 E ASTSIDE US, Tlie. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setthig 8 4 ESCAPED FROM THE LAW. 5 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 GIRL FROM PORTO KICO. 3 Acts; 2H hours 5 3 GYPSY QUEEN. 4 Acts; 2i^ hours 5 3 IN THE ABSENCE OF SUSAN". 8 Acts; 1^ hours 4 6 JAILBIRD. 5 Acts; 2i^ hours .^ 6 3 JOSIAH'S COURTSHIP. 4Act8;2hour8 7 4 MY LADY DARRELL. 4Act8; 2^ hours 9 6 MY UNCLE FROM INDIA. 4 Acts; 2)^ hours 13 4 NEXT DOOR. 3Acts;2hours 5 4 PHYLLIS'S INHERITANCE. 8 Acts; 2 hours 6 9 REGULAR FLIRT. 8Act8;2hour8 4 4 ROGUE'S LUCK. 3Act8;2hour8 6 3 SQUIRE'^ STRATAGEM. 6 Acts; labours 6 4 STEEL KING. 4 Acta; 2^6 hours 6 3 WHAT'S NEXT? 8 Acts; 2^ hours 7 4 WHITE LIE. 4ActB; 2Hhonn 4 3 WESTERN PLAYS 25 CENTS EACH ROCKY FORD. 4 Acts; 2 hours 8 3 GOLDEN GULCH. 3 Acts; 2^4 hours 11 3 RED ROSETTE. 3Acts:2hoar8 6 3 MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. 4 Acts; 2^ hours.... 5 8 STUBBORN MOTOR CAR. 8 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 4 CRAWFORD'S CLAIM. 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