; 3 5';-^ 2 ^ PS 3515 .068 P6 1892 ;o;;i ANTATION BITTERS a Coloreti Jantasig in SDtoo ^cts FO/e MALE CHARACTERS ONLY (AS WRITTEN FOR THE BELMONT TENNIS CLUB) BY MARY B^ HORNE AUTHOR OF "the BOOK OF DRILLS" " THE PEAK SISTERS " " THE CARNIVAL OF days" "professor Baxter's great invention" "the great moral dime show " etc. BOSTON 1892 i CHARACTERS' <^ {As orighially cast by the Belmont Tennis Club.') UNCLE JAKE, an old house-servant . . . .J. Henry Fletcher AUNT DINAH, /its -wife F. Alcott Pratt SAMBO ^ / R. B. Horne BETTY > their children ) Harry Pease MOSE 5 ( Frank Lennon LUCY, mulatto girl, house-servatit Kendall Weston TILLY, ditto Lincoln M. Grant GUESTS AT PARTY. JASPER VINtENT, a colored gentleman from Nezv York F. N. Robbins POMPEY JONES, very thin old plantation negro, repre- senting the living skeleton E. H. Barnard AUNT CHLOE, a very fat old cook, representing the fat ■woman ......... James Otis Simonds ROSY UEY,, a young negro girl, zvho da7ices . . . Albert F. Hayden BRUDDER SCI pi O, a good-looking darkey, v.'ho dances the clog R. M. Diaz CATO, a young plantation negro, vjho plays the haiijo \V. Lyman Underwood yiWAN, a negro girl, ivho dances the ballet .... Winthkop Brown AMOS GREEN, a house-servant, who has been to the theatre E. B. Homer MALVINA SNOWFLAKE, a colored lady, vjho sings ] > . C. H. Hayden BILL WILLIAMS, a nondescript negro . . . ) SCENE. — Dining-room on the Abercrombie Plantation in Georgia. TIME. — Summer's afternoon and evening. Copyright, 1892, by Walter H. B.\ker & Co. /t-5i33Y COSTUMES. NOTE. — These characters can all be represented by males. That was the original intention. Uncle Jake. Black trousers, short white coat such as waiters wear, high collar, black stock, white apron, spectacles. Apron removed at party. Aunt Dinah. Chintz dress of very showy pattern, fan-waist gathered to a point, small ruffled shoulder-cape, red turban, large calico apron. The last removed at party. Sambo. (A boy of thirteen or fourteen years.) Ragged calico shirt, patched trousers, reaching to ankles, held up by one home- made suspender, old light socks, very heavy rough shoes, tied with white string, and ragged straw hat. Black stockings should be worn under the socks, as the leg is likely to show. Kangaroo costume. Bett. (Represented by a boy a year or so younger than Sam.) Calico dress, rather short, white pantalets, loose white stockings, shoes like Sambo's, and white sun-bonnet. Bett's wig should be braided in little tails, with white cord, so that the tails will stand up all over her head. Kangaroo costume. MosE. (As small a boy as can play the part.) Very short linen trousers and calico pinafore (the latter should be daubed on the front with red, yellow, sepia, etc.) ; black stockings will represent bare legs, and he may wear old light slippers or moccasins. A very effective dress can be made of a burlap sack or bag ; then only one garment need be used. Kangaroo costume. Lucy. First dress, ordinary light caHco dress, white apron, and head-handkerchief. Second dress, pink silk party-dress, with train. Tilly. First dress similar to Lucy's. Second, yellow satin party-dress, with train. Jasper Vincent. Pronounced checked suit, black and white, cane, and eyeglass. PoMPEY Jones. Old-fashioned brown linen coat with skirts, dark trousers, very short and tight, high collar, black stock, tall hat, lar-ge steel-bowed spectacles. Everything about him neat, but much worn. Aunt Chloe. Very full calico dress, drawn in about the waist, a light shawl, red and yellow turban, with a large sun-bonnet worn over the turban. 3 4 COSTUMES. Rosy Lee. First dress, light calico, white apron, blue ribbons, and cape-bonnet. Second, red tarletan dress, with accordion- plaited skirt. Cato. Homespun trousers, calico shirt, striped blazer. MiLLY. First dress, similar to Rosy's, with red ribbons. Sec- ond, green tarletan, low-neck and short sleeves, with accordion- plaited skirt. SciPio. Gay striped jumper, striped cambric trousers, ruffled shirt, straw hat with bright ribbon. Bill. A nondescript suit, made up of different garments of different styles, as incongruous as possible. As Dr. Bill, tall hat, frock-coat, doctor's bag. Amos Green. Neat waiter's costume. Malvina Snowflake. This dress may be an extravagant caricature of any prevailing fashion. PLANTATION BITTERS. ACT I. Scene. — Dining-room. Sideboards, c. ; table K.', settle L. ; old- fashio7ied tall clock ^ B. L. corner ', chairs, etc. Window L. b. ; door R. B. ; entrance's also R. a7id l. Strap hangs on nail beside clock. Tainbourine hangs on wall L. Large peacock feather brush in corner r. b. Uncle Jake discovered counting the silver at table. Jake. Sixteen, sebenteen ! For de Lord's sake, whar's dat Oder spune ? Tis owdacious de way dis yer silber gits ter strayin' off roun' de place ! Maybe Ts counted wrong. One, two, tree, fo', five, six, seben, eight, nine, ten, 'leben, twelve, thir-teen, fo'-teen, fif-teen, six-teen — dar 'tis, seben-teen, an' dey oughter be a dozen an' a half. {Calls off.) O Dinah ! Dinah! Dinah {outside). I's a-comin' ! Jake. O Dinah ! Dinah ! Dinah {without) . Wha's de marter wid de ole nigger ! Jake. O Dinah ! I say — Dinah! Dinah {at door R. b.). I tells yer I's a-comin' ! Jake. So's Christmas, some time nex' year ! Dinah {coming down to ¥.). What in de name o' gracious ails ye, makin' sich a commotion, an' de missis an' de young ladies no more'n sca-cely outer yearin' ! Is Mose failed inter de water- bucket, or one ob de yuther chilluns got bit wid a moccasin ? Jake. Laws, Dinah, jest hole on to dat ar member o' yourn, what's waggin' past de endoorance ob a common nigger, an' set down yander an' — {Enter Lucy and Tilly l. giggling a?td punching each other. Dinah has dropped onto the settle, and fatis herself with her api'on.) Jake. Now, what is you two gals a leabin' ob yer wuk an' a-comin' foolin' roun' yere for? Lucy. I say, Tilly, you do de axin' ! • Tilly {giggling). I don' dars ter! Lucy. Laws, you's de timides' yaller gal what I's eber seen yit. An' you know you's de fav'rites' one o' de gals wid ole Jake ! 5 6 PLANTATION BITTERS. Tilly (J>ointing towards Jake, who stands near the table on which the silver lies spread 021 1, glaring at tJietn over his spectacles). Gracious goodness, Luce! Look at de eyes ob him an' de set o' he shoulders, Lucy (^pushing Tilly towards him). Go 'long, gal ! Jake. What in de name o' goodness does yer want ter do? . Lucy. Tell him, Tilly. T1LI.Y (giggling). Darsn't! Lucy. Laws, you is de bigges' goose for a nigger ! Dis yer's what we was tinkin\ Aunt Dinah, you-alPs gwine stand by de gals, ain't yer .-* (Dinah nods.) We was tinkin' dat whiles missis an' de young ladies was away, an' not'in' tickler ter do, an — an — Tilly, you go on ! Tilly {giggling). Laws, Luce, ef you ain't de bashfulles' yal- ler gal in Jawjy ! Lucy (bracing up). Dat are town niggei* is a-stayin' ober to de Peyton Place, an' he done gone an' say dat dere ain't no style down in dese parts. He all de time talkin' 'bout York State an' de lugs dey pats on up dar, an' me an' Tilly, we thought maybe you'n Dinah'd — kinder gib us niggers a — a — Dinah (who has approached., punches Jake in the 7'ibs). Laws, Jake, de younguns wants a party ! (Bett and Sam appear at window l. b, and listen, having heard the word party .) Sam {aside). Hi, Bett, dere's gwine ter be a party I Bett. Le's lay low, an' git de pints ! Jake. No, yer don't hab no party! Dere ain't no sperrit in dis ole nigger fer kickshaws an' sich trash, long as dere's a spune missin' outer dat are pile ! Dinah. Laws, Jake, is dat de upshot o' all dat hollerin' what's set dese yer narbs o' mine in sich a twitter, fearin' as how dem chilluns was — Jake. Laws, what's chillun to silber ! An' niggers into de bargain ! (Sam and Bett nudge each other and hide their faces in their hands.) Dinah (shaking her fist). Don' you slander dem pickanin- nies I Dere as likely a set o' younguns (Sam ajid Bett straighten up) as eber I seed, notwit'stannin' de misfortins ob der inheritance on de side ob de fader! (Saim and Bett double up. Meantime Lucy and Tilly have b£en whispering.) Lucy. Come now, Unk Jake, can't yer be sort o' 'bleegin' like, an' twixt Tilly an' me dat are spunell git founded. Jake. Does ye know whar 'tis .'* Case ye ain't gwine play no tricks on dis nigger ! Tilly. Sure's ye born, Unk Jake, we don't know notin' — PLANTATION BITTERS. 7 LUCY {interrupting). It's jes' dis yer way. Dar^s one place whar dat are spune mought be, an' me an T.lly k^^fde place (Tilly opeiis her eyes in amazement and then giggles) ?^vi v--^ ^W hopes ter die an' be burnt up everlastin', ef we eber tells, thouten vou Vrees ter gib us dat party. ' Jake {picking up the silver). Fin' de spune, an' den we 11 talk. {Puts silver away in sideboard.) Lucy. Oh, come, Aunt Dinah, stan by de gals! Tilly. An' de fellers'll stan' by you ! Dinah {meditating), Dere's de vittles ! Lucy. Laws, Dinah, you can manage dem ! Sam {having climbed in the wiridow). Dat are tukkeygobbler what got los' las' week, he turn up in de yard jes' now. He done look fDOwerful fat ! , , . u ^ i ' u^ Bett {sittifig on the wi^idow-sill) . An' missy neber d Know he ^^^CYXpatting Sam). Dat's you, Sam ! You'n Bett's dat cute, we'll sure nuffhab ter let you care de mvites. Take Don' you git dem chilluns inter dis yer busmess thouten you wants trubble. Younguns an' trubbles goes tergedder, an dey neber goes single, neider. , r > * ^t Dinah. Laws, Jake, vou hole dat are old grumbhn' tongue o yourn, an' jes' lissn. De gals'll fin' de spune, an' you go kill de tukkey. De chilluns ken take de invites, an' dis yer ole critter 11 be preparin' ob de vittles. ^. , , r ^. Take. No, yer don't cheat dis nigger ! Fin' de spune fust ! Lucy Laws, don' you worry! Dat are spune's someers. Come, Unk Jake, go kill de tukkey, an' we'll make dat town nigger ooen his eyes. , , , , Dinah {to Jake). Come, go 'long, an' when yer comes back, dar's de spune ! {Exit Jake R., picshed out by Dinah and the girls.) Lucy. Sambo, say, do you know whar dat are spune's got ter ? Sam." Dis nigger neber seed no spune! Tilly. Come, now, Sam, own up.- You n Bett s had it. Bett. Neber had it ! Neber had no spune ! Tilly. Laws, what'U we do ? , . . ^ j u «. Lucy. Git dese younguns off wid de mvites, an den hunt ^^Dwah {to SAM and Bett). Come yere. (Bett jumps off windoiv-sill and comes forivard to Dinah, who sits on chair R. f.) Now, chilluns, you jes' lissn to de mammy. You takes de invites down to de Peyton Place, an' ober to de Huntoons, an den you finds Mose, an' vou goes to de cabin an' you turns in for de night. Min' what I tells yer, an' laws, honeys, de ole mammy cou dn count de good tings she'll sabe for ye outer de supper. Derell be chickin an' water-million an' cakes 2.^' — {smacks her /z/i") — but 8 PLANTATION BITTERS. jes' as sure as yer shows dem black faces o' yourn roun^ yere, de daddy'll hab dftt are strop ready, an' — Clar out now ! {Exeunt Sam and Bett r. b.) Lucy. Come, Tilly, les' go fin' de gowns an' de fixin's. Ole miss done lef de key in de cedar-closet door, an' we needs ter take de bes' dar is, ter cope wid dat fine nigger. He's dat elegunt, he makes yer eyes water. (^Exeimt Lucy a7id Tilly l.) Sam {popping his head in daorB.'). Say, mamm}^ Mose ain't nowhar. Specks he's fell in de crick an' got droiinded. {Runs aiuay.') Dinah. Fo' de marcy's sake, whar is dat chile ? Dis ole woman know'd dere's somep'n goin' wrong dis yer ebenin', else she don't hab no sich turn when de ole man call — Dinah! Dinah! {Meditating.') Spect de chile can't be drounded, case he neber took no likin' to de water. {Calls off R.) O Mose, Mose! is you in dar ? {Calls off i.^ O Mose, Mose ! is you in dar ? {Calls off V: ) O Mose, Mose! is you out dar ? {Begins to cry, and call.) O Jake, Jake ! {Cries loitder.) O Jake,- Jake ! {Enter ]AYiEwith the turkey killed, but jmplucked^ Jake. Laws, Dinah, ole woman, wha's de matter ? Dinah. Jake, you ole nigger, it's de jedgment o' de Lord on ye. De pickaninny's done gone an' got los'. Dat are blessed leetle Mose, de light ob he mammy's eyes, de core ob dis yer ole nigger's heart. {Sobs^ An' you-all says, what's younguns to spunes. {Rocks back and forth sobbing.) Jake {throwing down titrkey near settle). Laws, ole woman, de chile's all right ! Dinah. Whar den ? Fin' him ef yer can ! I's hollered till Ps hoarse, an' de yuther chilluns don' know whar he is ! Jake {taking alar? n). Come on, ole woman ! De gals is hunt- in' for de spune, an' we'll hunt for de youngun. {Exennt Jake and Dinah r. Enter Mose r. b., having first peeped in, to see that no one is present. Conies down c. licking the silver spoon.) Mose {sings). Air. — " Nancy Till." Down in de cook-house, close by d-; spring, Dere day keeps de 'lasses-jug, an &hr; sweet ting. Dere dey keeps de jellies, an' dere's de jam. Oh, my goUies ! ain' dis little nigger cram ! Come, den come ! des take dis 'poon An' try her on de sweets, by de light ob de moon. Oh, my eye ! Ain't dis nigger full, Clar way up to de top ob de wool. PLANTATION BITTERS. 9 Fust come de honey, dat so high ! Den come de 'lasses an' de jelly an' de pie ! Nex' come custard, den come jam, Oh, my gollies, ain' dis little nigger cram ! Come den, come ! etc. (^A/ close of song Mose listens to approaching steps.) MOSE {hidifig spoon in his dress). Spect dis chile better sabe de spoon ! Mought be somep'n good roun' yere fo' mornin' ! Jake {outside). I tells yer dat I heard dat chile's voice a singin' ! Mose. . Spect " dat chile " better git ! {Crawls under settle; draws the turkey uftder after him.) Dinah {outside). Ef yer heard him singin', sure nufFit must ha' been in de angels' choir, 'case he's gone up from yere. Ef he was on dis yearth, we'd a found him. {Enter Jake and Dinah talking r. Enter Lucy and Tilly l., with party-dresses on their arms.) Jake. Laws, ole woman, you's los' what little sense de Lord gib yer ! Lucy. What's all dis bobolation 'bout? We-ali's gittin' ready for de party. Jake. De chile's los', dat are leetle Mose, an' de ole woman's got took wid de narbs 'bout it. Laws, dem chilluns ain't gwine ter stay lost ! No sich luck ! Ef dey was spunes ! Dinah. Dere ain't gwine ter be no party in dis house, not till dat chile's found. Lucy and Tilly. O Aunt Dinah ! Jake. Whar's dat tukkey what I killed .? Pears like dis yer is a losin' 'casion ! Lucy. He's proberly flew off. Like's not ye didn' kill him right dead ! Jake. Didn' kill him? Spect I kin wring a gobbler's neck ef 1 can't stop de rattlin' tongues o' de wimmin critters. Tilly. Reckon he's gone wid Mose an' de spune ! Jake.^ Dat are ain' possible, 'case de ole woman's got de chile located in de Kingdom Come. Dinah {who has been peering about tmder chairs and table, and looking in sideboard, reaches under settle). Dere's somep'n under yere, wid feaders ! Jake. Must be dat tukkey! Mose couldn't a got his plumage so soon ! (Dinah pulls out the turkey.) Tilly {who has peeped uitder settle). Try agin, Aunt Dinah, 'case 'twould be a burnin' shame to gib up de party ! (Dinah reaches under settle again and drags Mose out.) lO PLANTATION BITTERS. Jake. Hi ! you limb ob Satan ! Wait till de daddy gits de strop ! {Takes down strap and lashes abotit with it.) Dinah {shaking }^\0'S>y.). Whar yer bin all dis time.'' Scarin' de life outen de ole mammy ! MosE {doubling np a?td cfying). I's been sick, mamm.y ! I's had de pains dretTul bad ! Spect I's got de colic. Dinah {to Jake). Dar now, put away dat are strop, de ole woman wasn' so fur wrong ! De poor chile moiigJit a been a angel ef de mammy hadn' foun' him in time! {Cuddling Mose.) Come now, honey ! don' cry! De mammy's got a dose in de cab'n dat'll fix de colicyf ;/^ .'' Mose {bright eni7ig up). Does yer take it in a spooji? (Jake groans.) Tilly and Lucy {aside to Mose). Sh, sh ! Don' talk 'bout spunes ! Dinah {taking Mose in her arms). No, honey, dat's de medi- cine what yer drinks outen de bottle ! {Carries Mose off^. B. The child winks at the audience over her shoulder.) Jake {picking up the turkey). Dat are ole woman's de biggest fool ! {Notices the dresses.) What you gals a-doin' wid dem gowns ? Lucy. Oh, you go 'long ! You tend to de rangerments ob de party, an' leab us to do credit to de style ob de State ob Jawjy 'gin dat ob de State ob New York ! Jake {gru7nbling and walking off). Gals ain' no credit to de style ob enny state ! Dey tinks dey adorns de state ob matrimony, but dey is a tribberlation to mankin' from de beginnin' to de end! {Exit Jake r. with turkey^) Lucy. Dat's a good riddance ! Now we-all's got ter 'cide de matter o' dese gowns ! Tilly {looking at the dress on Lucy'^s arm). Well, den, dis nigger ain' gwine to war no yaller gowns, case dey don' suit de complexion ob her skin. Pink's de color what I's allers crabin'! Lucy. Laws, now, hear dat ! De complexion ob her skin ! Who's de yallerest nigger in de country ? An' who eber heard tell o' puttin' pink outer yaller? Tilly. Dat's jes' de chune, don' yer know ? Pink an' yaller Ketch defellar! Lucy. Laws now, you's a-gittin' ob you'se'f up to ketch dat town nigger ! Tilly {giggling). Ain' we bof on us up to de same racket ? Lucy {seriously). Dere's notin' takes a town nigger like de far- ness ob de skin, an' now I tells yer dis, an' you min' what I tells PLANTATION BITTERS. II yer ! You war dis yaller an' you's got him sure nuff, case de yaller upon de yaller makes de yaller gal look white. Tilly {opening her eyes ivide). You don' say so ! Well, den, shift her ober. {Exchange dresses. h\jCY places hers on chair. Tilly does same^ Lucy {sings). J. C. Mullaly.^ { Together.) Lucy. Air — '-Charming Gavotte." Arranged by When dat nigger Vincent comes to-night, Look you, Tilly gal, now don' take fright. Ketch yer gown up dis way, dis way, Turn yer toes out dat way, Make a curchy dis way, dis way ! Oh, we're perty gals now, don' fergit, An' we'll make dat Vincent tink so yit. Ketch yer gown up dis way, dis way ; No, no, no, not dat way — You's a stupid yaller gal ! Tilly {sings). {Dance.)! What you put on airs fer ? I's no fool ; Ain't I larn de ways in de colored school? Ketch me gown up dis way, dis way. Turn me toes out dat way, ^lake a curchy dis way, dis way ! {Together.) Sam. Oh, we're perty gals now, don' fergit. An' we'll make dat Vincent — {Enter Sam and Bett l. b.) Hi. sals ! he's out yander ! {Giggles.) Laws sakes, Lucy and Tilly. Who's out yander ? (Vincent passes win- dow., looking in.) Bett. Dat are swell nigger from York State. Sam. We-all fetched him along arly. Lucy {seizing her gown and handing it to Tilly) . Tilly, ain't we in a pucker ? (Tilly ////j- Lucy's ^^^w;/ on chair with hers and stands before tt, trying to hide "the7n. Vincent appears at door R. b.) Sam. Come in, Mr. Vincent, de gals is yere, an' {giggling) so's de gowns ! 1 This sona; is written for the air onlv to be found in this gavotte. The first verse is sung to the first sixteen measures, next sixteen for interlude and dance, next sixteen for second verse. Lucy's extravagant action and Tilly's awkward imitation make the point of the song. 12 PLANTATION BITTERS. {Enfer Vincent. Sam and Bett ritn off l. b. Vincent 7nakes an exaggerated bow, Lucy an elaborate courtesy. Tilly g/ggles.) Vincent. Good-evenin', Miss Sam (putting head in at window). Say, dat nigger's Luce, an' t'other one, she's Tilly ! {Disappears.) Vincent. Good-evenin', Miss Lucy I Lucy. Good-ebenin', Mister Vincent ! Vincent. The compliments of the evenin' to you, Miss Tilly! Tilly {spreading ont her gown to hide chair, and making a bob- bing coiirtsey). Howdy ! U3Q,Y {aside). Tilly! (T^? Vincent.) Take a cheer! (Sam and Bett conceal themselves outside windoiv and listen, showing themselves occasionally.) Vincent. No, thank you, young ladies ! I perceive that I have arove upon the scene a leetle prematoorly, so to speak, an' — Tilly {clapping her hands). Laws, ain't he de eleguntest nig- ger a-goin' ? Lucy {aside). Hole yer tongue, Tilly, yer'll spile ebryting! {To Vincent.) We-all's bery happy ter see yer, ef it is a leede arly. Dem youn ;uns is so full o' dar tricks, dey mos' proberly gabe ye de wrong time. Vincent. Oh, aw ! In York State, whar I have the pleasure to weside, there are so many kyinds of parties — Tilly. Laws now, is dey ? Lucy {aside). Keep quiet, can't yer ? Vincent. An' as the juveniles wequested the pwesence of your humble sarvent immejate, I persoomed it was arternoon tea. Tilly. Laws, we takes our tea down to Jawjy when we has our supper, time de chick'ns goes to roost ! Lucy {aside). Hoi' yer tongue, gal ! ViNC. Oh, ah ! indeed ! Lucy. We-all's bery sorry dat de younguns was so free, but all de same we's happy to see yer, 'case we's dat int'rested to year 'bout de State ob New York, an' bime-by, when de yuthers come, dere won't be no chance. We's born an' bred in Jawjy, an' we don' believe thar's nothin' up to York enny better'n what we gits down yere. V\^c {scornfully). Nothin' better? Oh, the ignowance of this benighted land ! Tilly. 'Tain't alius night, an' 'tain't sca'cely what yer could call ebenin' yit, ye come so arly. Maybe dem's York styles ! ViNC. {ignoring Tilly). Miss Lucy, listen to what I welate, and if in this poor an' barren land you can perdooce aught to wival the chahms of New York City, I will wetire into oblivion. Lucy {with an air) . Perceed ! ViNC. Fust take the theaytres ! Thirty on 'em in full blast! Fust-class ones, whar the swells congwegate to see the gweat actors PLANTATION BITTERS, 1 3 from foreign lands, Henry Irving, Sara Bernhardt, the Jarsey Lily, an' sich ; an' others that patwonize home talent an entertain the multitudes. Did you ever see Dr. Bill an' the famous Kangaroo Dance? Did they ever run one hundred an' two nights in Geor- gia? {Girls stare.) An' the /talian Opewah, with the divine Patti ! Does she give last appearances in this State? Tilly. Dunno ! ViNC. Then thar's the German Opewah, with tickets at five dol- lars a head. (Tilly claps both hands to her head, a?id groans.) Can Georgia compete with that? Do the dulcet stwains of the moosic of the — future — aliem ! — ahem ! — float in the — in the — in the air — of — of — these parts ? Tilly. Laws, Luce, do they? Lucy. Hole on, Tilly, an' year the rest ! ViNC. An' then for the lower classes thar's the circus, with the acrobats' performances on the flying trapeze; an' the dime museums with the fat women, the hving skeletons, and other curi- osities. Then thar's the minstrel shows, with the clog-dance at- tachment, an' the banjo concerts. There's balls an' parties an' the ballet — Tilly. Good Lord ! has you seen 'em all? ViNC. Most sartainly! An' these are but a few of the attwac- tions of the gweat city. Lucy. We don' doubt yer word, an' we hopes ter die ef we can outshine de elegance ob all dat are ; but — (glajtcing toward clock) . ViNC. {taking the hint). You will excuse me, ladies, an' I will wetiah to weturn at the hour you will appint. Lucy. You is bery obleegin' ! In Jawjy we begins our festibi- ties 'bout nine o'clock, at which hour we hopes ter enj'y de pleas- ure ob vou-all's society. Tilly. Yer k'n come along o' Amos Green. He'll git ye here all right. (Vincent glares at Tilly through his eyeglasses, bows to Lucy ; exit k. B.) Tilly {seizing gowns). Laws, Luce, 'pears to me he's a pill to swaller ! Lucy. Tilly, you-all's de greenest nigger what I's eber seen ! Tilly. Ef I's green, 'pears like I mought a had de pink gown. {Exeunt Lucy atid Tilly l. Enter Sam and Bett through the window.) Sam. Hi. Bett ! Here's a go ! De ole folks tinks we's turned in for de night, an' here we is, boun' ter git all de enj'yments outen dat are party ! Bett. Dat so, Sam ! {Sits on settled) Sam. Look yere ! dat are York nigger tink he know a pile, don' he? 14 PLANTATION BITTERS. Bett. Spect he does ! Sam. Hi ! reckon we-all kin knock spots outen him. {Placing himself before Bett. Hands in his pockets.') Wha's dem tin^-s he's braggin' 'bout? Ain't we got 'em clown yere ? Bett {counting oji her fingers). De uproar an' de Patti ! Sam. Malviny Snowfiake kin gib him pints on de uproar ! (Bett nods.) An' mammy, shell tend to de patties. Bett {stnacking her lips). Dat so. {Counting again.) De theayt? Sam {scratcJmig his head). Spect Amos Green'll hab to help us oaten dat are. He's seed 'em. Bett. De Jarsey Lily ! Sam. Neber heard Amos tell er no flowers ! Bett. Laws, Sam, you's green. Don' dey fling de bouquets all roun', when dey likes de playin' ? Sam. Dunno, neber seed' 'em ! Beit. Dey does all de same. 'Pears hke you'n me mought manage one flower. Ole Miss Calla lily done blossom dis yer bery day! Sam. Bett, fo' a gal you'll do. Wha' next? Bett {counting). De circus ! Sam {kicking np his heels). Ki-yi, Bett! You'n me'll gib 'em all de circus dey'll want dis night ! Bett, De akkerbat on de fly ! Wha's dat are? Sam. Dunno ! {Meditating.) Mought be de base-ball. Bett. Dat ^re ain't likely, 'case de balls goes on de fly an' not de bats. Sam. Laws, Bett, I's got him ! Dem's de little critters what flies roun' nights an' gits in de nigger gal's wool. Akker-bats is what dey calls 'em in York State. Reckon we kin fix him for de credit ob Jawjy ! Bett {counting). De dime museum! Sam. Dat's outen de question. Dar won't be no dimes, not in dis company. Bett. De fat woman ! Sam. Aunt Chloe's a-coming ! Bett. De libin' skellington ! Wha's dat, Sam ? Sam. De skellington? Don' yer know, sure nuff, Bett? (Bett shakes her head.) Sam (/;/ sepulchral tones). It's de bones ob a libe man wid de meat all lef off ! Bett. Laws, Sam, you scar's me fearful ! Sam (rubbing his head). Dere's ole Pomp Jones. He's de most approach in' dat are curiosity in dese parts ! Bett. De banjo concerts, de cullud minstrels ! Wha's dem ? Sam, De minstrels ? Dunno ! Bett {counting). De clog, de balls, and de parties ! Sam. Dey's all easy nuff. De party'll take care ob itself. Bett {solefnnly) . be ballet ! PLANTATION BITTERS. 15 Sam {looking wise). Dat are's 'bout de same as de rest, wid de close lef off! Bett. Laws, Sam, whar's yer manners. {Coining forward, looking over both hands to fijid a finger not counted, and seizing a thumb.) Dr. Bill an' de kan — kan — Sam. Dat's a sticker, Bett. How we gwine ter make dat out ? Bett. How kin I tell ? Sam. We got ter do it some way. Bett. An we's in it, sure nuff! Sam. Bet yer life ! SONG. The Plantation Ball. Air, — '' Odd Fellows Hall:' Sam a7id Bett {sing) . De ok folks dey plans out a party. To gib to de niggers a treat, An' let de gals all hab de pleasure, Dat swell New York nigger to meet. De poor little chilluns ain't in it, 'Case nobody wants 'em at all. But we-alls intends to be present. To lend tone to dat Plantation Ball. Chorus. Uproars, ballets, ak'rbats on de fly, Turkey, patties, ice-cream 'n cake, 'n pie ! Kan-kans, clog-dance — Oh, we'll hab 'em all! Now don't you forget, you safely can bet, We'll go to dat Plantation Ball. {Dattce.) (Bill Williams, a disreputable-looking darkey, appears at door R. B. Sam and Bett seize upon him and dance to f.) Sam {punching Bill in right side) . A party ! Bett {same business, left side) . 'N a supper ! Bill. Oh, laws, an' dis nigger ain't in it! Sam and Bktt. De chilluns'Il fix dat are. Bill. Sure nuff. Gollies ! Sam. Sure's you born ! et" you'll help perdooce de kan — kan — Bett {triumphantly). Ga-ROO. Bill. Oh, laws, chilluns, what you know 'bout dat are critter ? Sam. Dunno nothin'. Bett. Dat's de mischief! Bill. Neberseed 'im, did yer? Sam and Bett. Neber. Bill. Laws, dey's de ungainest critters a-goin\ Pears like when dey was a-makin' ob de beastsis dey done got sort o' balled up, an' made dis yer kind out o' de leavin's, fo' a joke, don't yer see ? Sam. Wha's dey like den, dese kan — kan — l6 PLANTATION BITTERS. Bett. Ga-roos ! Bill. Dey's mighty curus ! Dey heads is too little, an' dey tails is too big, dey front legs is too short, an' dey behind legs is too long. When dey Stan's up dey sits down, an' when dey runs dey Jiops. Bett. Laws, Bill, you's doin' de jokin' ! Bill. It's de solemn truf ! Sam. Can dey keep it up one hunderd an' two nights ? Bill. Keep what up, honey ? Bett. We-all means de hoppin' ! Bill. How can dis nigger tell ? Sam. Look yere, Bill, you git some critters dis yer night approachin' dat are beast, an' set 'em a-hoppin' at de ole folks' party, an' you can come. Bett. 'N git some ob de grub ! {Enter Jake, gnunblhig, l. Sam and Bett try to hide Bill, who s gnats behind the7n.') Jake. De whole place am at sixes an' sebens. {Sees children.') Didn' de mammy sen' you off to de cab'n ? Sam. We's a-huntin' fer de spune, daddy ! Jake {groans). Don' mention dat subjec' ! {Sees Bill.) Who's dat are low-down nigger a-scroochin' in de corner? Bett. Dat are's Bill ! Sam. He done come to borry a dose ob de bitters ! Jake. Get out, you disrespectable nigger. Don' you come foolin' roun' dis high-toned place. Bill {groaning). Oh, laws, Jake, ef you was a-suiferin' like I be, wid de gripes an' de collywobbles, you-all'd compassionate a poor nigger to de extent ob one spune — Sam atid Bett {clapping hands over Bill's month). Sh — sh ! Jake {sinking disconsolately on settle). Don' you come here talking 'bout spunes. {Enter Dinah with large sgnare bottle labelled '■'■ Plantation Bitters.'") .. Dinah. Mose, he's settled ! Now — Laws ter gracious ! wha's gwine on ? Jake, ole man, brace up. Sam and Bett, wliat you doin' here ? Clar out! Nigger Bill, you ain't wanted in dis com- pany. Make tracks ! Sam. Bill's sick, mammy, 'n he wants some bitters. Bett. 'N dad's in de dumps, 'n he needs a dose. Sam. 'N Bett, she's res'less. {Giggles.) She carn't sleep 'ithout sooth in' ! Bett. 'N Sam, he's carvorlin' round like a hoppergrass — wid de chilblains. Sam. 'N we all needs a dose ! PLANTATION BITTERS. 1/ Dinah {holding bottle high). No, ye don't git one spuneful {all groaii), not one drap ! Sam and Bett. O mammy, an' dey's so powerful healm . (Sam, Bett, Jake, and Bill sing, beseeching Dinah, who guards her bottle. Chorus ofprecediiig song.) Headache, toothache, rheumatiz, an' sprains ; Colic, bruises, internal aches an' pains; Chilblains, ague, how dey makes us feel I Don't let us endure de ills we may cure — Dem bitters all troubles can heal ! CURTAIN. Bi^^- Sam. Dinah. Bett. j^^ ACT II. ^C^-^^. — Same as in Act I. Dinifig- table removed, chairs set back against the wall Aunt Dinah discovered sitting on settle L. fanning herself with large palm-leaf fa- tan. Dinah. Laws, Ps jes' about tuckered out wid de contrary ways O' dis 'stableshment ! {Sighs.) De supper's ready anyway — an' it's jes' about as good as dey makes 'em up yander, I reckon. {A knock.) Come in! {Efiter Aunt Chloe r. b., with large basket covered with a cloth.) Dinah {coniins, forward). Laws, Sis' Chloe, how is yer ? Chloe {handing basket to Dinah, who sets it down). I's porely, Sis' Dinah, mighty porely! Jes' thought I'd draproun' arly an' see ef I couldn' help yer wid de vittles ! , , . , o- , Dinah {takino her shawl a?id bonnet). Yo^'s dat obleegin bis Chloe, dat I carn't spress my obligations to yer. How's yer rheumatiz ? , , . , , j . i • ■» Chloe. I neber complains. Sis' Dinah ; I ain't one o dat kin . Dere's a ketch here {putting hand on right hip), an' a pain yander (putting hand on back), wid de cramps in de knee-jints. I am't so limbersome as I use ter was. But laws, honey, dat are's what ole folks must spect ! How's de chilluns ? Dinah. Oh, dey's right smart, dey is. I's done gone an put 'em to bed, an' dar I hopes dey'll stay. Wat you got in dat are barsket ? 1 8 PLANTATION BITTERS. Chloe. Laws, now, 'tain't much ! Jes' a par o' chickens dat I tole ole miss was a leetle gamey for de fambly {chuckles), an' a pone er cornbread, an' a jar o' pussuvs, an' — Dinah {chuckling) . Laws, Sis' Ciiloe, for a ole nigger wid de cramps, you's about as up an' comin' as de next one. Come on, an' le's put you-all's pervisions wid de rest. {Exeicnt Chloe arid Dinah with the basket r. Enter Sam and Bett r. b. giggling.) Bett. De mammy didn' find him? Sam. How she gwine fin' him.'' Bett. Dunno ! Sam. Course yer dunno! Yer dunno not'in ! Now look yere, Bett, you'n me's got ter locate whar we c'n watch de workin's o' dis show. Bett, Now yer talkin', Sam! Sam {crawling nnder settle). Dis yere's good enough fer me ! Bett {creeping under sideboard). An' dis yere'll 'commodate dis nigger ! {Silence^ SA-i,! and V>KTT {loud whisper). O Mose ! Say, Mose, is yer all right? A VOICE. Ki-yi ! {Enter Dinah ajid Chloe r.) Sam {aside). Dis yer's de fat woman up to date ! Dinah {offering chair to Chloe l. Chloe sits). Wal, Sis' Chloe, ebryting's all ready cep de comp'ny. {Looks at clock.) Ten minutes ter nine! Reckon I'll set down. Dey'll be here direckly. {Sits R.) {Enter Jake r. b.) Dinah. Laws, Jake, don' look so glum ! Chloe. Ain' yer well, Jake, dis ebenin'? Jake. I's well enough! Whar's dem gals? Dinah. De gals? Laws, Jake, dey's furbelowin' dey selfs up to kill, all on account o' dat town nigger. Chloe. Spect heUl be comin' 'fore long. Jake {looking at clock). Pears ter me de time's a-draggin' I {A knock.) Dinah. Come in ! {Enter Pompey and Rosy l. b.) Dinah {shakirig hands). Laws, now, Pomp, how is yer? It's a heap o' days sence I's set eyes on yer ! Sam {aside ). De skelling'ton ! he'll do ! Dinah {to Rosy). An' how's you-all gettin' on. Rosy? Rosy {handing su7i-bonnct to Dinah). I's right peart. How's you-all, Aunt Dinah ? PLANTATION BITTERS. I9 PoMPEY {to Jake). How's de chilluns ? Jake. Laws, dey's miohty soon critters, dem chilluns. Alius jest whar ye don' want 'em. Tank de Lord de ole woman's got 'em safe under de kivers for dis night. Dey's down in de cab'n fas' asleep. Rosy. Laws now, Unk Jake, I's ?-hopin' ter see dat are Mose. He's de best-favered little nigger in Jawjy. Jake. Dat so.-* Dey ^