ear Class. Book. TJC/ Copyright^ . COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK THE MACMILLAN COMPANY NEW YORK • BOSTON • CHICAGO ATLANTA • SAN FRANCISCO MACMILLAN & CO., Limited LONDON • BOMBAY • CALCUTTA MELBOURNE THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA, Ltd. TORONTO THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK BEING A PRACTICAL APPLICATION OF THE RESULTS OF SCIENTIFIC CHILD-STUDY TO THE PROBLEMS OF THE FIRST YEAR OF CHILDHOOD BY MARION FOSTER WASHBURNE AUTHOR OF "FAMILY SECRETS," ETC. Nefo gorfe THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 1908 All rights reserved UBHARYofGOfl Fwo copies Ke I 5US* A AXc s to -2LO GS^ '^^ gfw3» '^M^ ^\ ^I^^^V (^^M i >^ i vwSt$~i ^^^^^^T^^-i^'P, tia cy^as £ KVJ^Sf : t§^ Sg^M CHAPTER IV APRIL Three Months Old During the first weeks the baby's hands are much up and about his face. This is probably the reason — this, and the fact that sucking is his chief joy and occupation — why he so soon takes to sucking his own fists. But, accidental as the beginning may appear to be, it leads to consequences of educational importance ; for, by and by, the baby begins to distinguish between his fist and himself — that is, begins to be aware of himself, or at least of parts of himself. At first, he sucks in almost perfect unconsciousness ; but by and by he is annoyed to discover that he cannot at the same time suck his fist and wave it around in the air. Why is this ? So awk- 59 60 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK ward ! He frets and scolds, and then experi- ments — that is, he tries to suck his fist, and at the same time wave it freely — but he can't. After many, many trials, it dawns upon him, dimly, that his mouth and his fist are two sepa- rate things which have to be brought together in order that he may have the pleasure of sucking his fist. In his effort to accomplish this feat his dim will power grows ; and so do the brain centers in his little head. HAND AND BRAIN You see, this is the way the brain and the hands, and the nerves and muscles connecting them, act : The hand touches something. In- stantly the little nerves therein send word to the brain, or to the spinal cord. If to the cord, then the order back to the muscles to stretch or contract is delivered without consciousness, and the resulting action is called " reflex." Of this nature is our own action when our eyelids suddenly blink at a threatened blow, without waiting for our conscious brains to deliver the THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 61 order. Indeed, they blink so much more quickly than the conscious brain acts that we cannot, with the utmost effort, prevent them from blinking. Thus is it with the first grasping of a baby ; his hand closes over anything that is put into it, just as our eyes close against a blow. He can't help it; and the higher centers of his brain have nothing to do with the action. Microcephalic babies, with no higher centers at all, grasp things in the same way. But when the baby, later on, sucks his fists, and then tries to get that fist to his mouth again, in order to repeat the performance, he does use the higher brain centers. A microcephalic child, without a cerebrum, could not make the effort. Now suppose the effort to be made, what hap- pens ? The sensory nerves send word to the brain that the mouth has lost the pleasant feeling of sucking a round, soft object. The brain sends back word to the muscles of the hand to contract in a given way, and move the hand nearer the waiting mouth. The muscles so contract, the hand moves up, and the sensory nerves report 62 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK the pleasant sucking sensation as again taking place. Here, then, the baby has exercised the sensory nerves ; exercised the brain in receiving reports and drawing conclusions from them ; given a conscious command to the hand to move in a given way ; seen that command (probably involv- ing several dozen muscles) properly executed ; and experienced the pleasure of satisfying desire by a proper exercise of the wonderful machinery of his own body. By every such act, performed with intention, the higher brain centers grow, and the will power grows. So great is the importance of this usually un- noticed occurrence, that it can truthfully be said, that in this simple act is the possibility of all education. Indeed, in order to become a think- ing, intelligent human being nothing is necessary beyond a hand, a brain, the nerves and muscles connecting them, and the nutritive organization necessary to keep them alive. Laura Bridgeman and Helen Keller, who were, you remember, both blind and deaf, practically received their educa- tion in this way — through the hand. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 63 THE ORDER OF DEVELOPMENT The order of development is, as we see in this instance (an order which holds good in every other), that first, automatism is established, taking care of all the movements of the body necessary to existence ; secondly, instinct or inherited racial thinking, so established in the brains of offspring as to require no conscious personal effort, comes into play ; and thirdly, the child's own intelligence takes up the inherited machinery and uses it for his own ends — ends that become increasingly wide, and complex, and conscious as life advances. About this time the child may be observed closely studying his own hands — and feet ; for he tends to use them alike, as if he belonged to the quadrumana. Darwin observed his boy looking at his hands so fixedly that his eyes crossed. But he does not yet know that he can move his hands and feet separately. If you watch closely you will see that he tries to do with his feet whatever he does with his hands — that his 64 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK toes grasp, as his fingers do, and at the same time that they do. IMPORTANCE OF TOUCH It is of real importance, at this stage of his growth, that he should be allowed, and even encouraged, to touch the widest possible variety of objects. He should by no means be restricted to merely pleasant, smooth surfaces. The chil- dren of the rich, with their carefully appointed nurseries and watchful nurses, are here, at the very beginning, deprived of one of those educa- tional experiences which make the children of busy parents so much more capable than the others. Babies beginning to feel things with their hands should touch all sorts of things — the more diverse, the better — hot, to the point of discomfort, but not of danger ; cold, to the same point; rough, smooth, hard, soft, fuzzy, slimy, silky, bumpy — all sorts of contacts should be multiplied for them, to the end that they may accumulate the greatest possible mass of material upon which the developing brain may act. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 65 Awaiting the dawn of this interest, it is well to lay upon the baby's tray, at table, all sorts of queer, feelable objects which will meet and interest the groping little hands. INHIBITION IMPOSSIBLE Also, it is absolutely necessary to keep out of their reach everything which the hands really must not touch. It is worse than folly — it is cruelty and folly combined — to tell a child under two years old that he must not touch this or that. " No, No ! " we've all heard mothers say, peremptorily, slapping the little hands. "Naughty! Naughty! Baby must not touch ! " But the baby's mental mechanism is such that he can't help touching. The mental machinery necessary to make him overcome a strong motor solicitation has not been established in his brain. He may understand you perfectly, but he cannot obey you. The only thing to do at this stage is to keep out of sight, and out of reach, those things which he must not touch. There is one exception to this rule, and that F 66 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK is in the touching of fire. If a very young child, just beginning to creep, say, is in danger of touching a lighted stove, he can be taught better, not by appeals to his reason, or by ex- ercise of authority, but by an appeal to his reflex nervous system. That is to say, he may be permitted to burn himself very slightly — but enough to give him a very sharp and unpleasant shock. This impression will then be so power- fully registered that the same mechanism that makes us blink our eyes will make him shun the fire. Perhaps, too, there is some inherited aptitude for this particular lesson ; for it must have been necessary for the human race at a very early period. At any rate, this is the right thing to do about lamps and fires, for thereafter the baby is safe; and his activity and interest need not be restricted in order to protect his life. AMBIDEXTERITY Dr. Seguin, former United States Commissioner of Education, makes a strong plea for ambidex- terity at this early period. He says that we THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 67 greatly injure our children by trying to teach them to use their right hands in preference to their left. He says that from every point of view, we ought to encourage the use of both. In the first place, as we have seen, the use of the hand, with intention, leads to the increased growth of the higher brain centers. We all know, of course, that the centers affected by the motion of the right hand are in the left side of the brain, and the centers connected with the left hand in the right side of the brain. Now it is true that in human beings the left half of the brain is markedly larger than the right, and that, in left-handed individuals, the right side is larger than in right-handed ones. So Dr. Seguin ar- gues that if all children used the left hand more freely, all persons would have a more symmetri- cal brain. There would be, he thinks, an in- creased brain-area, and an increased power of using the hands. He points out that in animals, where the two sides of the brain are fairly equal in size, there is great grace, beauty, and evenness of temper — as in the deer and the horse; while 68 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK in more one-sided animals, like the beasts of prey, there is, indeed, plenty of intelligence, but coupled with a more unstable temper. At any rate, it is plain that the child who can use two hands is, other things being equal, better off than one who can only use his right hand. Modern machinery is making this double use more and more advantageous, for nearly all the complex machines, like the typewriter, call for the use of both hands. THE OTHER SIDE It is only fair to add, however, that some psychologists disagree with this dictum of Dr. Seguin's, arguing that the attempt to teach the use of two hands at once leads to mental confusion. These authorities say that to double the brain area in active use is not to double the brain power, any more than the use of two eyes doubles the sight, or the use of two ears doubles the hearing. They maintain that children who are taught to use two hands are awkward with both ; and that the partial development of two speech centers — brought about by the use of THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 69 two hands — sometimes leads to hesitating and uncertain speech, because the two centers do not always act simultaneously. I confess that these arguments do not sound conclusive to me. Imagine them applied to the eye — shall we darken one eye, because the young child, and sometimes the adult, focuses two with difficulty? It is true that the use of two eyes not properly focused leads to eye- strain, to headaches, and various nervous dis- orders — but that is not accounted sufficient reason for using only one. Every other pair organ in the body — the lungs, the kidneys, the eyes, and ears — is used in both its parts; why not the brain? The sane conclusion seems to be that the child should be encouraged to use both hands, though not prevented from using the stronger one, whichever it may be, whenever such use enables him better to accomplish his purposes. Certainly, I do not believe we ought to insist upon right-handedness. The first time that our baby grasps things he does so with all his fingers, including the thumb, 7 o THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK folded about the pencil, or whatever the object may be ; but toward the end of this month, when he is nearly four months old, he begins to oppose his thumb to his fingers, as we do. This, most psychologists agree, is the sign that he now grasps objects with conscious intention — his will and his intellect are taking possession of his hands and shaping them to human uses. About this time, too — just before he is four months old — he begins to hold out his arms to be taken. That is, he who has learned to grasp small objects now reaches out to grasp his mother or his father. It is almost his first marked proof of affection, and correspondingly beautiful and touching. What, then, have we seen, in the way the baby uses his hands? We have seen how he trans- forms the outer world of objects capable of giving rise to sensations, into an inner, human world of thought and volition. It is as if we saw him take up the hard world of matter into his little dimpled hands and transform it into the inner world of spirit. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 71 PROGRESS OF THE MONTH Now do the signs of human intelligence and affection multiply day by day, until it is hard to keep track of them. In this month the baby begins to use his hands, and we see, perhaps, for the first time, what wonderful instruments of the human spirit they are. He can sit up against a pillow and look all around, and can hold out his arms to be taken. He is able to tell us with greater distinctness what he wants and how he feels. Let us see what some of the ways in which he tells us are. In the first place, he shows us very clearly whether he is satisfied with his food or not. He thrusts aside the nipple with his tongue when he is through nursing, and does it with almost a look of disgust. If he doesn't do this, but still frets for bottle or breast, be sure he has not had enough ; and give him more. There arc a number of books on the market advising young mothers, on so-called scientific grounds, to give so many ounces at two months, so many more at 72 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK three, and so forth. But it is not safe to follow any such hard and fast rule; children differ too much. VALUE OF AVERAGE RECORDS Even the observations here recorded are not to be taken as final. Your child may advance to this or that stage of development faster or slower than the average baby here pictured, without anything being wrong. But if he is ahead of his schedule all the time, in every re- spect, you have reason to suspect precocity ; and consequently, you will know that, instead of stimulating that baby, you will have to hold him back, and encourage quiet and stupidity. While if he habitually falls behind in all respects, you will have reason to look to his nutrition ; and finally, if the backwardness persists, to take him to a sensible doctor, to see what is wrong. He may be all right — simply slow ; or he may not be properly nourished ; or there may be graver reasons. The point I am making is that, although we here record the development of an average healthy baby, month by month, it is by THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 73 no means intended that you should conclude that your baby must grow after just this fashion, or else something terrible is the matter with him. The records here are average, and there may be wide variations from the average, in certain partic- ulars, without damage to health or intelligence. But if there is persistent and marked variation in many particulars at once, then it is time for you to occupy yourself with seeing what is wrong. SATISFACTION AND DISCOMFORT To return to the signs of satiety : The satis- fied baby, after he is fed, shows every symptom of a lively enjoyment. He laughs, opens his eyes wide, and then half shuts them. And he makes inarticulate cooing sounds, so expressive that a person in another room, who does not see him nor know that he has been fed, per- ceives that he is feeling very happy. If he falls asleep soon after being fed, he smiles in his sleep, with an expression of great content. If, on the contrary, he is in some slight dis- comfort or discontent, he shows this fact by a 74 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK lack-luster eye, by indolent movements, by pal- lor, and by a peculiar set of the features, which no longer move under the play of feelings. They are passive and expressionless. When all these signs appear together, there is reason to infer some disturbance of health, and to look to its cause. In this month, that sign of discomfort which is characteristic of young children appears. It is the drawing down of the corners of the mouth, often accompanied with a plaintive cry. This sign increases in intensity up to the fourth year, and is one of the most delicate signs of discomfort. Even in sleep, the droop of the mouth corners may appear, giving the face a most doleful look. Watch, then, the angle of the lips, and when it tends downward, look for trouble — and take measures against it. You can often in this way stop the baby's crying before he fairly knows himself that he is going to cry. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 75 CAUSES OF DISCONTENT It is not, however, always easy to discover the cause for his depressed condition. Frau Dr. Friedemann tells about a little girl who cried piti- fully at the sight of her mother with a big hat upon her head ; as soon as the hat was removed she stopped crying. Eyeglasses and spectacles often produce this impression upon children who are not used to them. The distress seems to arise from surprise mingled with fear. Young animals show the same tendency to fear in the presence of the unexpected. It is comforting to learn that, among his many causes of discomfort, the baby has nothing to fear from nausea. We are told that he does not experience it, no matter how often he may vomit. The act is a simple regurgitation of too abundant, too swiftly taken, or unsuitable food, accompanied with none of the distress which we adults associate with the act. 76 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK HICCOUGH Hiccough is frequent, and Preyer records, with astonishment, that it can be relieved by a little lukewarm, sweetened water, put, a few drops at a time, upon the tongue, though he adds that he cannot discover any reason for the potency of the simple remedy. SLEEP AND FOOD The baby now sleeps for longer periods than he did at first. His waking periods are also longer. He often sleeps four or five hours without waking, and has occasional long nights of ten hours' sleep without any waking. His nursing intervals are now at least three hours apart, and sometimes longer. They may vary slightly, to suit his temporary needs. For it is observed that a tired child, especially one who has been played with a good deal, and been pretty well stimulated, gets hungry sooner than a placid, unhandled baby. We have all noticed how a sudden access of hunger and fret- THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 77 fulness will take possession of the baby, almost in the very midst of cheerful play. This is because his activity has caused a large destruc- tion of nerve and muscle cells, with consequent need of food repairs. VOLUNTARY MOTIONS During the first three months he makes no voluntary movements. Not but that he moves, and moves freely ; but that his brain machinery for executing desired movements is not yet com- pleted. Few of us realize what an extraordinary thing it is for the brain to be able to command the arm and hand, for instance, to move in a given direction. It would take some time merely to count the many muscles and nerves involved in the issuance and execution of this command. And each muscle must contract in due proportion to its neighbor, the whole regi- ment of them moving in perfect disciplined ar- ray, like a well-drilled band of soldiers. It takes more than three months, wonderful as is the baby's growth, to complete this discipline. 78 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK He cannot, therefore, at this period, so much as free his face from bedclothes, if they fall over it ; or turn aside his face, if he happens to roll upon it. Unless he is released from his dilemma by some older person, he must even die there, of suffocation — as many babies have done. HELPLESS AGAINST SUFFOCATION Here's a true instance in illustration : The little son of a prominent lawyer was left by his nurse asleep in his baby carriage in the vesti- bule of his home. He was accustomed to sleep thus, in order to get the fresh air. This time, when the nurse went to him, she found that he had fallen over among his pillows, and was dead ! — a perfectly healthy little baby. And there is another case, that of a woman living in the country, who, on rising in the morning, made the bedclothes into a tent above the baby, so that he could lie there and keep warm while she built the fire. When she went to take him up she found that he had stirred, and in stirring had knocked down the tent. The weight of the THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 79 bedclothes had killed him. These facts, and many others, indicate the practical importance of some definite knowledge as to what may be and what must not be expected of a baby. sitting up Our three-months-old baby can now sit up against a pillow, and he dearly loves to do it, for the attitude frees his ears, his hands, and his eyes, all of which he is learning to use. He should be well propped, and never encouraged to sit alone until he insists upon it. The rule is that, as soon as a healthy child is able to exercise a new function, he will be eager to do so ; and he should never be urged. FIXATION OF THE EYES His eyes no longer move irregularly, as they used to do, but can now fix an object, and follow it about the room, accommodating themselves to near and far objects. They look with especial joy at the mother's and father's faces ; and as Miss Shinn observes, these objects seem to be 80 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK especially fitted to attract and educate him. They move ; they have many lights and shad- ows ; from them proceed all sorts of pleasant, loving noises ; they are associated with many experiences of love and comfort and ministra- tion ; so that they at once please the interested little eyes and the awakening little heart. HOLDING THE HEAD Now 7 , too, Baby notices the ticking of a watch, and moves his head. The first efforts to hold his head erect arise from mere surplus energy, that, wandering about the body in search of something to do, contracts these neck muscles, as if by accident. But he very soon discovers that in this position he can see better and hear better ; and thus, following on automatism and instinct, we see again the voluntary action taking place. His head is raised for him, by his own machinery, going off by itself, as it were, in the first place ; then instinct prompts him to repeat the movement ; then, having experienced its ad- vantages, he wills to raise his head, and from THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 81 that time on he is master of it. Not suddenly, of course, but with increasing ability. He can turn it around, this month, too, — toward the latter part of the month, — thus following inter- esting sights and sounds, and adding to his store of experiences. AMOUNT OF FOOD This month his weight ought to increase at the rate of about three fourths of an ounce a day. His stomach at the beginning of the month holds about three and one half ounces, at the end of the month about four and one half ounces. It is on these facts that the books of advice to mothers, already referred to, base their rules about the amount of food to be given at a time ; but, as we have already said, there is too much variation in individual babies for any such hard-and-fast rule. Do not go so much by the measuring bottle as by the signs of satisfaction enumerated above. For one thing, a baby's stomach empties rather fast, and a slow-nursing baby can dispose of more than three and one half ounces at a time without distending his stomach. Many bottles, on the G 82 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK contrary, feed too fast ; and the child's stomach may fill up too full for comfort, while yet he has not enough milk to supply the needs of a rapidly growing and active organism. Let him tell you, then, as he knows how to do, when he has had enough ; and let no one else put in a word against him. THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF SELF If, this month, we hold him up to the looking glass, we shall find that the glass itself may please by its brightness, but that the baby does not pay much attention, if any, to the image of himself therein contained. His cc I feeling/' as the psy- chologists call it, is not yet enough awake for his own image to interest him. Next month we shall see a decided difference in this respect. Now he seems to feel much as a young monkey did. That animal gazed in astonishment at first, then passed his hand back of the glass, — thus exhibit- ing considerable intelligence, — and then turned away in disgust. Nor do monkeys seem ever to get past this stage. But babies do. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 83 SPEECH As for speech : During the first two months the baby spoke almost nothing but vowels, with a guttural "r" that was almost a vowel. Now he says m frequently — seems, indeed, to be saying " mamma," though without the least idea of the significance we attach to these syllables. He is simply exercising his speech machinery — getting it ready for use. It is an interesting fact that all normal babies express emotions and desires by means of sounds, even by syllables, long before they can understand or imitate the sounds made by others. If the true bearing of this fact were recognized, I think we should have, in our schools, less imitation and response to the teacher's questions — that is, fewer recitations ; and more spontaneous observation and expres- sion — thus following the natural order. Even so early as this, babies begin to recognize and distinguish many vowels and some consonants in words spoken to them. But, of course, they do not know them as speech, but only as sounds, 84 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK which they are interested in hearing. The more they hear, within limits, the more delicate will be their later appreciation of language. Mothers are not so foolish as some pedants would have us believe when they talk and talk to quiet, observant babies. Most of the mother instincts, as Froebel saw, are sound and true. HOLDING OUT THE ARMS Toward the end of the month, as we have already noted, we see the often sudden appear- ance of that gesture which always fills the mother's and father's heart with delight : the gesture of holding out the arms to be taken. That the gesture is a truly human one may be seen from the expression of quite indescribable longing which usually accompanies it. This month, as we see, is one of great interest. In it the baby seems to have made remarkable advances, and to come within communicable reach of our own understandings. He begins to be a separate individuality, no longer the mere recapitulation of the past of his race. But in THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 85 truth the foundation for all these activities was well laid in the two sleepy months that preceded this. CHAPTER V MAY Four Months Old During our first observations of the baby we were upheld by a tremendous enthusiasm ; and the task was so delicate and subtle that we needed all that enthusiasm to accomplish it. Now, however, when the baby is four months old, and distinctly a human being with traits all his own, and a will of his own that shows plainer every day, observing is a less difficult business. That is to say, there are plainly a great many things to observe and to note, growing con- stantly more numerous. But also we are more used to the wonder of the baby. Although he only came to live with us four short months ago, it is already impossible to imagine the house 86 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 87 or the family without him. He has brought us much joy, and caused us much trouble, and given us considerable wholesome discipline. Whereupon we, being, although mothers, not yet wholly regenerate beings, occasionally feel a good deal like disciplining him ! As his will de- velops, this feeling is likely to grow upon us ; and who of us has not seen mothers who were already somewhat at variance with their young babies ? Therefore, we must set ourselves with renewed determination to the task of studying and under- standing this little marvelous being whom we have borne. Even so early it is something of a task to understand him — a task that will grow harder and harder as the years roll on. Be sure that, if we do not perform it properly now, when it is comparatively simple, we are not likely to find ourselves able to perform it satisfactorily in the days that are coming. NEED OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING Babies need understanding — dear-eyed, sym- pathetic comprehension — almost as much as they 88 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK need mother's milk. The latter nourishes their bodies, but the former shows us how to provide food for their growing souls. They need love, too — great, abundant supplies of it. No one of them ever had too much. When a baby seems to be spoiled by too much love, it is not that his mother gives him too much love, but that she mixes it with too little sense. Let us per- mit our adoration to flow forth freely and deny it not, but let us send forth our wisdom in an equal stream. It is a well-known fact that babies in maternity hospitals, foundlings' homes, and other institu- tions equipped with the most modern hygienic conveniences ; babies whose food is sterilized and regulated, and whose hours of feeding and sleep- ing are perfectly adjusted by rule ; whose clothes are comfortable ; who have every physical advan- tage ; do not thrive so well as other babies in houses less clean, with many physical disadvan- tages, but with abundance of family affection. It is plain to every close observer, however scientific, that the child is not a little animal THE MOTHERS YEAR-BOOK 89 from the start, — or rather, not a mere piece of delicate machinery, for animals, too, thrive on affection, — but is a mass of budding affections and thoughts. These must be cherished and nourished as well as the body, or the body it- self will not grow as it should. DISCIPLINE During this fourth month the child begins to exhibit affections and preferences. He smiles with pleasure at the sight of his mother or father or nurse. He has, for a month, been putting out his arms to them, in token of desire ; now, in many other ways, most indescribable and most appealing, he exhibits love ; and now, of course, the mother responds most fully. All is well, unless somebody comes along and urges her to " discipline " this loving, tender creature — un- less, too, her own will longs, now and then, to have full sway, and put an imperative stop to an inconvenient crying. In that case she must even take council with herself in the quiet night- watches, when she is not impatient, nor driven 9 o THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK by household duties ; and then remind herself that what the tender young creature beside her needs is not discipline at all, but love and understanding. As Froebel justly remarks, the moment that the mother's will clashes against the child's will, there is the beginning of an alienation that is the root of all mischief. And as Preyer, the hard- headed German scientist, has remarked, love is the stimulus under which the young soul unfolds its powers most rapidly and naturally. If we love our children enough, and understand them enough, we shall have little or no need for pain- ful discipline. To help us gain this understanding, let us watch the young soul as it grows, and if possi- ble, make simple, short notes in some blank book kept for the purpose. Such a book will be invaluable as the years roll by. With this book as a general guide, note in what particulars your own baby differs from the typical baby here described. Keep the book and an indelible pencil near by, and, without waiting to make the THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 91 record very tidy or phrasing it well, note down, on the spot, the ideas that occur to you from day to day, and the occasions that give rise to them. PLAYING WITH THE BABY If you give free rein to your mother impulses, you will find yourself entering into all sorts of games with the interested, wide-eyed, responsive baby. Don't think this a waste of time. Give up making pies and cakes, and sewing elaborate clothes for baby or yourself, and give plenty of time to the active plays that develop his mind and soul and keep you young and fresh — fit to be his mother. Do you think a worn-out, ner- vous, anxious woman is fit to be the mother of a young immortal soul ? Froebel, in his " Mother-play Rook," shows how the simple songs and games of the mother in unity with the child have in them the actual foundations of all later educational advance. You will never know your baby so well as by playing with him ; you will never enjoy him so much ; and he will never get more from you. 92 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK We've been finding, all along, that motherhood is a highest education, haven't we ? — far and away better than any college course. Well, per- haps this play department, which, in this fourth month first begins to appear distinctly, is the most important department of all. It is not only necessary in order to be a good mother that we should know how to feed the baby properly, how to dress him, how to put him to sleep, and to take him out, how to keep him clean and healthy ; but it is just as necessary that we should understand him and love him. Both understand- ing and love find expression in play, and are fostered by it. PROGRESS OF THE MONTH In this, the fourth month, the baby shows himself so plainly an intellectual being that his progress is almost too swift to chronicle. His mind and will are both awake and active, and every day is full of interest. He is so keen to see and feel and know that he can now be coaxed even past his feeding time ; but it is not desirable to do this except under pressure of unusual THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 93 necessity, for the rapid waste of brain and nerve tissue brought about by his activities creates a necessity for plenty of food for repairs. Our ob- ject is not, of course, to keep him going on as little food as possible, but rather to give him as much as he can use to advantage. He can now, also, get too tired to sleep prop- erly. Be careful of so wearying him, for this is a very bad nervous habit to form. Indeed, most American children already have a tendency to too great nervous irritability, and this ought to be guarded against most carefully. Fatigue often comes on suddenly, almost without a note of warning, in the very midst of cheerful play. Heed the signals, and take the baby at once into a quiet, darkened room, feed him, and put him to sleep. Fond relatives won't like this, and will keep on turning and tossing the baby, and giving him new things to play with, to get him "good- humored " again ; but, although they may suc- ceed, it is at the expense of that precious reserve nervous force which he ought not to be allowed to expend on so trivial an occasion. 94 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK SITTING ALONE He begins to sit up alone on your lap ; but that is because he is partially supported by your knees. He topples over if he is set upon the floor. Even in your lap he suddenly collapses, showing that his young will is not yet equal to sustaining this particular effort. Don't try to hurry or persuade him, no matter how anxious you may be for his triumph. He will have a stronger back and be a happier baby if you let him gain power without a particle of urging. Just as soon as his internal and external machinery is all right for him to sit up alone on the floor, be sure he'll perform the feat with certainty and success. Miss Shinn, in her cc Biography of a Baby," tells of a novel device which has been used in her family for long, to help the baby over this period, when he likes to try to sit alone, but cannot manage it without some support. It is an old horse collar set on the floor, and covered with a blanket that can be easily washed. The baby THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 95 sits inside, supported just about as much as he is on his mother's lap. All around are his play- things, and the low sides enable him to reach over and get them again when they escape him. She records that her little niece made her first acquaintance with the back of her own head by throwing herself back in this collar and bumping the back of her head on the floor. However, there are times when our youngster ought to be allowed to sprawl freely on the floor on his stomach, without even the confinement of such a collar, for in this way he has a chance to exercise those muscles which will later be useful to him in creeping. HOLDING UP THE HEAD He now holds up his head permanently. That power, possessed by no animal less than man, is now his for life ; and is regarded by psychologists as a sign that his will is now steadily active. For it takes will to hold the head erect. Even adults let it drop when they sleep. Until about the fourth month the baby is not able to make this 96 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK steady exertion ; but thereafter, for all his life, he is able ; and, as we have seen before (see last month's outline), the motive that induces him to make it is an intellectual one. He is not urged by the need of food or rest, but by the desire to collect fresh impressions. This same little head now turns with certainty in the direction of a sound heard. He begins to bite, this month, although his jaws are, of course, still toothless. Biting, Preyer thinks, is exactly as instinctive as sucking, al- though later in putting in an appearance. IMITATION Now, too, appear the first faint and uncertain beginnings of imitation. Preyer records that in this month his little son first tried to purse his lips up in imitation of his father, and did it very imperfectly. This was the more noticeable, be- cause he had often pursed his lips before, quite perfectly. But the imitative act was an act of the will and was therefore poorly done, because the will was not yet master of its materials ; while the THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 97 first act was instinctive, and performed perfectly, because then the baby was only being exercised, without his own knowledge, by inherited forces. If you play the piano, you know that you can sometimes play a piece by trying not to think of it; while, if you get to thinking about how the left hand ought to go, you fail altogether. That is because you have, in learning the piece, com- mitted it to your unconscious mechanism, which then works much as instinct works ; but when you try to remember with your conscious brain, all this unconscious machinery is interfered with and refuses to work. So it is with the baby's first efforts at imitation — they are less perfect than the former instinctive actions ; but they be- long, nevertheless, to a higher stage of develop- ment. GRASPING The baby now finds distinct pleasure in grasp- ing at various objects. He is still fir from being able to estimate distances, and frequently grasps short. When he succeeds in getting hold of anything he promptly moves it to his eyes. He 98 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK now almost always opposes his thumb to his fingers in grasping ; and the grasping itself is no longer merely reflex, but is often an act of the will. As for his speech, it gains in variety — I mean that his utterances, which are not yet speech, but are practicings for speech, gain in variety. They are all expiratory, — that is, spoken on the out-going breath. He says cc nan-nana, na na, nanna " in refusal. When he screams he says something like "amme-a," and as a sign of special discomfort repeats over and over again " oo-a, oo-a, oo-a, oo-a." KNOWLEDGE OF HIMSELF Although he is so very attentive to the outside world, taking it in at every pore, as it were, he does not yet clearly distinguish his own body from it. It is in this month that he first begins that series of investigations which will so con- vince him that he and his body are much closer knit than he and the rest of the outside world that it will take him many years to be able THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 99 clearly to conceive that, by any possibility, he and his body could part, and he remain himself. I have often wished that we adults might experi- ment as long and patiently to prove ourselves distinct from our bodies as the baby does to prove his body distinct from the outside world. For one thing, he looks at his own hands and fingers, as well as the objects that they seize, and regards them most attentively. One may see him do this every day, and often many times a day. He now looks at his own image in the glass, — not merely at the glass itself, as he did last month. He looks at it as if he were look- ing at another person, whom he recognizes, and laughs as he does so. Sleep now lasts five or six hours at a stretch, and should not be interrupted, even when feed- ing time comes. Sleep is necessary for repair and growth to as great an extent as food itself ; and every artificial interruption of sleep is a nervous shock. The stomach holds four and one half to tour and three quarter ounces. The baby should 100 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK continue to gain at the rate of three and three quarter ounces per day. But the marked gain of this month is in the permanent holding of the head erect. Should there be failure to do this, the baby's nutrition and general hygiene should be looked to at once; and if there is no gain as the fifth month comes in, it would be best to consult a physician. _^_ jjgpiiiiiiiiit &£^$fcik =3 B *ZsiQ£& m o ■■ill CHAPTER VI JUNE Five Months Old In the second quarter of his life, our baby begins to have active pleasurable sensations. As we have already seen, the first months have in them much more discomfort than comfort. That is, the active sensations are more likely to be painful than otherwise. The comfortable ones are very passive in their nature, meaning, for the most part, mere absence of pain or distress. But now there is active enjoyment — a much higher state of consciousness than the warmth, satiety, and mild, agreeable sensations of pleasure in tasting, seeing, and touching which have hitherto been responsible for the baby's vague smiles of content. And it is significant that this IOI 102 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK first active enjoyment comes through his new power to use his hands — to do something. Thus early in life do we see exemplified the vast truth of which we lose sight so often in later life — the fact that the highest happiness man can know comes from his power to work — to transform the face of nature, to inaugurate changes, to do things. Yet we adults become in time so perverted that we act as if we would fain escape that power to change and make over which we call work, but which the young baby, yet dwelling in his innocent Eden, finds to be hap- piness. Probably this is because we have not yet learned how to regulate the amount of work, so that we are too often fatigued by it, and therefore fail to discover what it might do for us if we took it in more moderate quantities. But this is a digression. The point now is that the baby's small, tender hands, at last able to seize upon objects and move them as his will directs, open for him, by their activity, the door to his first active pleasures. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 103 CREATIVE ACTIVITY His great delight is to produce some change, and to feel himself the cause of the change. This is what Froebel called a, uiie." And when he is contented, " ooroo." But when be wants anything very badly he will scream himself hoarse in the effort to get it. When be is bun- 148 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK gry he draws his tongue back, broadening and shortening it when screaming, and makes loud expirations with longer or shorter intervals be- tween. But in pain the scream is high, piercing, and uninterrupted. In the midst of his crying one may sometimes distinguish the rare conso- nants / and t. Often he says i s d 3 m y n> r, g, and h. He achieves k only when he yawns, and says p occasionally both when he is crying and when he is engaged in friendly prattle. You will note that by little and little the child's organs of speech are being practiced in all the elements of speech, which he will combine later on when he comes to form words. TEMPERATURE OF BATH AND BOTTLE It is evident that the very young children dislike to be wet anywhere, especially with cold water. They are apparently much more sen- sitive than are older children to the local with- drawal of heat; therefore they object violently if their bath is below a certain temperature, although when they grow older they may be THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 149 trained to overcome this fear of cold water by experience of the refreshing after effects. In re- gard to this feeling for temperature, individual children vary greatly, and it is not therefore prac- ticable for any one to lay down an absolute law as to what should be the temperature of the baby's bath. The only safe rule is that it should be as cool as it can be and yet be agreeable to him, and that as time goes on it may be made a very little cooler every day. Preyer's boy allowed his bath to be cooled to 32J C. (89.7 F.) without making any objections, but at 31J C. (88|° F.) he invariably cried, no matter how gently they added the cold water. But by the time he was two and a half years old he allowed the water as cool as the air of the room he lived in, that is, so cold that it had for- merly made him cry, and at four years of age he objected to a warm bath at 36° C. (96. 8° F.). When he was first put into the water he always became pale, but was all right in one or two minutes. This was a case not of the immediate effect of cold upon the capillaries, but a vaso- i 5 o THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK motor reflex, as was shown by the fact that the face, which was not wet at all, was the first to show the pallor. He gave this undoubted sign of the organic sensitiveness of the young child to the cold until he was two years old. In the same way the child is exceedingly par- ticular about the temperature of the milk which he drinks from the nursing bottle. This should be as nearly as possible the temperature of the milk as it comes from the mother's breast, about 37 C. (98. 6° F.), yet they can by degrees be taught to drink milk, then water, at about the temperature of the room. M§^^ yT^x^llf^&r JJf%b r^c^P ;^^SV^-C ^^ JHr^% S^SS^R ^r^Sl CHAPTER IX SEPTEMBER Eight Months Old There used to be quite a superstition as to the baleful effects of night air. One might almost have thought to hear our grandmothers talk that night was a time when it was safer to suffocate than to breathe. Probably the notion had its origin in the early days of the country when the undrained swamps gave forth malaria (which is itself now known to be due to the bite of a certain mosquito), and made it unsafe to be out of doors after sundown. This condition has now been remedied in almost all parts of the country, and there is nothing to be dreaded in night air more than in the air of the day. We need only to be careful that the sleeping body, which has 151 152 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK less power of resistance, is not exposed to undue currents of air, producing too rapid evaporation. Even on warm nights, therefore, it is necessary to keep the baby covered if only with a light knit shawl. He must also be kept out of the way of draughts, for draughts, as you know, dry the surface of the skin and produce evaporation so rapid as considerably to lower the surface temperature of the body. SCREENS In order to give the baby the benefit of plenty of pure fresh air without the harm of direct air currents, screens are most useful. A few years ago these were both expensive and flimsy, but now good strong ones, designed especially for nursery use, may be had for little money. If the man of the house is handy with tools he can easily construct one himself. What is required is merely a rectangular frame of wood, set upon a standard sufficiently wide to keep it from easily toppling over ; or a folding screen may be con- structed of two or three such rectangles hinged together, and standing upon their own bases. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 153 These screens may then be covered with building paper, and upon this be pasted bright-colored pictures which will interest and amuse the baby ; or it may be covered with colored burlap or cretonne or chintz without any decoration. A small-sized folding clotheshorse may be used as the basis for such a screen if the man of the house cannot be induced to make a special frame. But the clotheshorse is usually a little wide for one breadth of cloth and is not so graceful in its proportions as a frame made for the purpose. DRAUGHTS Out-door breezes are in some subtle way different from draughts. Perhaps it is simply because the air is purer and warmed by the sun. But even they should not be allowed to blow directly upon the baby when the temperature is less than 95 . Choose for him some sheltered corner where the air is fresh because the breeze is stirring just outside, but where the currents do not strike upon him. Within doors look out for the draughts along the floor, especially during these cool nights and 154 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK mornings. When the baby is put down on the floor, see that he has a quilt under him and that it is placed in some corner out of reach of air from either door or window. Some fond parents have built for their baby's use a platform on casters, the platform being about five feet square. A railing about a foot and a half high still further protects the baby upon it. The platform can be pushed about and set anywhere, and the baby upon it, his thick quilt under him, and his toys all about, is safer and happier than any king upon his throne. TOO MUCH ATTENTION Young trees, young plants, and young children require plenty of room. Just as a little plant growing under the leaves of a larger and stronger plant fails to get its full share of nourishment, and if it is not transplanted to some freer space droops and withers, so a very young child, set too constantly under the shadow of grown-up human beings, pines for his own proper freedom and space. It is true that he cannot yet maintain THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 155 himself alone, and that therefore he must have within constant reach some one who can attend to his many wants ; but, nevertheless, he needs to be let alone almost as much as he needs to be cared for. The first grandchild in a large family is apt to be particularly unfortunate in this respect. His many relatives positively crowd him out of breathing space. A weakly child grows nervous under the affliction, and a strong one obstreperously rebels. A STRUGGLE FOR INDIVIDUALITY There was one sensitive, high-spirited little boy who went through the first two years of life with a perpetual defiant scowl upon his face, brought there by this effort to keep free from invaders the boundaries of his struggling person- ality. He was the only child in a large family. Everything about him offered continual tempta- tions. They wanted to kiss him, to hug him, and to play with him all the time. His mother protested against so much attention, and each of the family thereupon began to force himself to 156 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK resist temptation. After letting the baby alone say a dozen times, it seemed no more than fair to have a good frolic with him the thirteenth time. Each one felt that he had been not only moderate in his demands, but abstemious, yet all put to- gether, they made a constant and wearing drain upon the child's vitality. He was five or six years old before he recovered from this treatment, and even then he was more nervous and less friendly than he ought to have been. KISSES AND HUGS A wholesome, happy, fat, healthy baby is indeed a temptation to every one who loves him. No one — not even his mother — gets from him as many kisses and hugs as she wants. But we must always remember that such caresses please us more than they do him. As a rule, he endures rather than enjoys them. In spite of his charm and attractiveness, we must force ourselves to give him, every day, plenty of chance to live alone with himself; to gurgle and coo and roll and bite things, and THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 157 blink at the ceiling, and play with his own little fingers and toes, and practice all sorts of other enchanting accomplishments without an audience. If we really have to take a peep at him now and then, just to see what he is up to, let us do it so secretly that he will not suspect it. INTERRUPTIONS Above all, let us not interrupt him in his play, for, as we have seen while watching his progress month by month, in all these activities he is really gaining possession of his own faculties and acquiring knowledge of the outside world. We do not know what chain of thought and feeling we may be breaking when we pick him up for a moment's kiss and put him back again. Every such interruption is a break in his process of growth. Only when he begins to fret for atten- tion should we give it. Yet this does not mean, of course, that we should in any way neglect him, or keep away from him outward and visible tokens ot that abundance of love which our hearts yearn to 158 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK bestow and on which he thrives. There are times in every day when he is glad of love and cuddling, — all the more so if the day has had within it quiet, empty spaces. And these times are for our opportunity. We can then love him to our heart's content without interfering with the freedom necessary for his individual growth. PROGRESS OF THE MONTH We have seen how in the month before this, the eighth month, the child became gradually aware of his hands, interested in them, and able to use them. Now he discovers his feet and sometimes other parts of his body also. He does not yet seem to know, however, that they are parts of his body, but regards them merely as interesting, movable objects within easy reach. He likes to put his legs straight up in the air and examine his little toes. Grasping the foot firmly with both hands, he carries it safely to his mouth. In doing so he sometimes misses his aim and puts the toe into his ear or his eye instead ! But THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 159 although this surprises him, it does not discourage him : he merely tries again. After human faces, which interest him most of all, he is, if he is fed from the bottle, interested in all bottles. He associates them with the pleasure he is receiving from the nursing bottle, and his eyes shine and lips protrude at the sight of one. FALLING OBJECTS Now, in playing with him, a curious thing may be noticed. He may be much interested in a plaything, say a bit of bright feather or a piece of paper, but when he lets it fall he does not look after it, nor seem to have the least idea where it has gone to. He has not yet made the discovery that objects unsupported fall to the ground. This fact each human being has to discover for himself, and the eighth month is the time usually taken for the discovery. As the month advances, it may be seen that if the object moves slowly down- ward, as a feather does, he follows it with his eyes; also if it makes a noise when it hits the ground he looks at it. But it takes many such 160 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK experiences to convince him that when he lets go of that which he is holding it will surely fall to the floor unless something interposes. His language of desire and interest is becom- ing plainer and plainer. He protrudes his lips when his attention is held ; he reaches out his hands in the effort to grasp innumerable things that interest him. He has laughed before, but purely from imi- tation. In this month he laughs genuinely and loudly as an expression of joy. Any one who hears him knows that he is gay and full of life. The two things that delight him most are friendly faces and singing, LEARNING TO KISS Up to this time he has gone through various little lip performances which the proud mother has called kisses. But, as a matter of fact, he has been and is yet quite unable to kiss any one with intention. Not only that, but he doesn't like either to kiss or to be kissed except as through warm contact of his mother he is assured THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 161 of her comforting presence. Kissing is a late acquirement. It is not inherited and there are many nations which do not know it or practice it. Therefore it is not an instinct with the child, but is a conventional sign of affection which has to be slowly acquired. Preyer records that on the eleventh day, when his little boy " was kissed by his mother on the mouth, the baby fairly seized one of her lips with his and sucked it as if he had got the breast, putting out his tongue." But when he was thirty-two weeks old he no longer sucked at the lips he was kissing, but licked them, as he licked everything else that pleased him. He learned then not to resist the attempt to kiss him, but he gave no particular response, although in other ways he showed that he felt affectionate. It was not until he was three years old that he gave genuine spontaneous kisses as an expression of gratitude and good will. Preyer sums up the situation thus: "At first, then, the lips of the mother, when she kisses her child, are treated like the finger held to the mouth, or like the breast, as objects to be sucked; M 162 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK then they are licked, as by a puppy ; next, the kiss is endured ; further on, it is refused ; soon afterward it is awkwardly, and only on request, returned ; and, finally, it is spontaneously given as a sign of thanks and affection — and this by a boy who is not in the least tender and is not trained." SPEECH By this time the child has practiced himself somewhat in almost all the elements of speech. He has made all the sounds which he will after- ward use in his speech, and even more than these ; but still he cannot reproduce any of them purposely. They have all been made not inten- tionally, but at random. He repeats them be- cause he likes to practice such sounds, not aiming to make any particular one, but just moving his lips and tongue and his vocal chords in all sorts of ways, and experiencing the results with pleas- ure. Some observers have supposed that he made in these early months only those sounds which were least complicated and most easily produced, but the fact is that he even achieves THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 163 quite difficult sounds ; sounds such as in later life, when he tries to learn a foreign language, he finds most difficult of imitation. And it must be clearly understood that he just happens to make these noises in the general exercise given to all his speech organs and in their remarkable flexi- bility at this early stage. He cannot reproduce even simple sounds by imitation with any cer- tainty. For instance, he tries to say Papa, and succeeds only in saying Ta-ta, and this in spite of the fact that he perfectly well distinguishes the difference between the two sounds. That he does so distinguish is shown by the fact that he understands the difference in the words when they are spoken to him by another person. He knows what to look for when he is told that papa is coming. He turns his eyes and his body toward the door when any one asks him if he wants to go Ta-ta. But within his brain the association-paths between sounds heard and to be reproduced have not yet been so clearly marked that his nervous energy call traverse them with certainty. CHAPTER X OCTOBER Nine Months Old Even before the baby is nine months old, he has already proved his ability to raise himself on to his hands and knees. These move- ments have probably appeared first in the bath, because then he is free of the weight of skirts and clothing, and the water itself helps to hold him up. But by the time he is nine months old, if he is a vigorous child, he is probably making active efforts to creep about on all fours. This makes him so dirty, and is so hard on his clothes, that many mothers discourage it. Nurses especially feel that the creeping child is much harder to take care of than the child who can be peacefully confined 164 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 165 to his crib or baby carriage. For, as soon as the child begins to creep about, the floor must be looked after and freed of all objects which could in any way hurt him. Pins and tacks and pieces of colored paper, even threads, have to be guarded against, or the inquisitive baby, who puts everything into his mouth, will be sure to get them. INCONVENIENCES OF CREEPING Besides these really harmful objects, there are some other things which disturb the mother's sense of pride in her hitherto clean and kissable youngster. He shows now, for instance, the most uncomfortable determination to play with the coal scuttle. As soon as he can creep, or even hitch about on the floor, he makes a bee line for that black object, and, unless deterred, sucks away at each piece ot coal as if it were a chocolate cream. Imagine then the state of his white dress, and ot his hands and face ! Creeping, moreover, is very hard on the 166 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK baby's clothes. He wears out the knees of his stockings, and scuffs out the toes of his shoes. His dresses become so dirty that they have to be fairly worn out by rubbing before they can be made clean. All these things are real annoyances incidental to the creeping period, and unless the mother is so well-in- formed and intelligent that she knows the com- pensating advantages of the period, the baby is likely to be considerably restrained in his natural activities. But there is another side to the question. Most of the difficulties here enu- merated can be overcome by clothing the child properly. But such as remain must be endured if we want to have the child develop as Nature intended that he should. IMPORTANCE OF CREEPING On this subject Preyer remarks : cc Creeping, the natural preparatory school for walking, is but too often not permitted to the child, although it contributes vastly to his mental development. For liberty to get a desired object, to look THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 167 at it and to feel of it, is much earlier gained by the creeping child than by the one who must always have help in order to change his location. Mother and nurses in many families prevent children from creeping before they can stand, through mere prejudice and even superstition ; even when it is not the con- venience of the elders, it may be their disinclina- tion to observe watchfully the freely-moving child that determines the unjustifiable prohibi- tion. It cannot be a matter of indifference for the normal mental development of the child not yet a year old whether it is packed in a basket for hours, is swathed in swaddling- clothes, is tied to a chair, or is allowed to creep about in perfect freedom upon a large spread, out of doors in summer, and in a room moderately heated in winter." AN AMUSING DIFFICULTY The baby encounters a difficulty which is at first most amusing to the onlookers, but which presently becomes tiresome even to 168 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK them. As for the little fellow himself, he becomes perfectly enraged. The trouble is this : his arms are so much stronger and better developed than his legs, that he pushes himself backward instead of forward. The harder he tries to go toward a desired object, the more rapidly he scuttles away from it, scolding and fretting all the time. Some patience on the part of the mother is here required. She will have to get down on the floor with him, and put her hands behind first one little pushing foot, and then the other, until he gradually grows strong enough to make his knees do their proper work. Sometimes it takes almost a week to teach a baby to go for- ward instead of backward, and it is partly be- cause few women take time so to help the baby that he learns to get around the difficulty himself by various procedures. Sometimes he gives up trying to use his hands and legs at all, and hitches about over the floor in a sitting posture ; or he uses one knee and one foot ; or sometimes both feet, scuttling about with his hips THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 169 raised considerably higher than his head. There is nothing very harmful about these rather awkward procedures. They at least attain the chief object of permitting the child to move himself in the direction of whatever he desires. But they are not as graceful a means of loco- motion, nor as well suited for the harmonious development of all the body muscles, as is the ordinary creeping on hands and knees. About the same time that the baby begins to creep he shows a strong proclivity for climbing, and this, too, has occasioned much anxiety to mothers, who like to have their children keep to safe and limited fields of experience. The stairs especially attract the young explorer, and to prevent him from using them all sorts of gates and guards have been invented. THE STAIRS But the truth is that his attraction to the stairs, like most other spontaneous attractions, is a sign that they arc good for him. He needs to climb and to stretch in this wav certain 1 7 o THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK of the trunk muscles which are not sufficiently exercised in creeping on a level. Instead of trying, then, to prevent him from this exercise, suppose you take an hour or two off some morning and show him how to creep up and down stairs with safety. This needs to be done just as soon as he shows a desire to climb the stairs, because if he is thwarted in his first efforts, he will get so excited and eager when he is finally permitted to try that he will no longer be in a teachable condition. This is the way to teach him : start him at the top of the stairs, kneeling two or three steps below him ; pull down one little leg until the knee rests upon the step ; then pull down the other knee, and thus show him how to go down feet foremost. Every time he starts to turn around and go sideways restrain him and put him straight. It will be easy to do this in a playful and loving manner that will not rouse his ire. After he has gone downstairs in this fashion, say a dozen times, the habit will be pretty well formed. The point is never to THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 171 allow him to form the opposite habit of turning on the step. If he shows a strong tendency to do so let him turn and fall while you are there to catch him. But see to it that he bumps himself a little — enough at any rate to make him cry, and be undesirous of repeating the performance. Once he has been taught to go down in this way, he is perfectly safe on the stairway and will spend joyous hours there. Think of the increase in the territory over which he is now master ! Instead of one little room or the places which he could see from his mother's arms or his perambulator, but which he could not explore by his own initiative, he now has practically the range of the entire house. He is likely to pop his little grimy, interested face into the parlor or the kitchen at the most unexpected junctures. But then, dirty, or not, isn't he a welcome visitor ? CREEPING CLOTHES Now we have to give up the attempt to keep him dainty, and confine ourselves to considering 1 72 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK strict utility in his clothing. Only on company occasions and for a brief half hour at a time will he be able to wear the delicate little white dresses, in the fashioning of which we have taken so much pride. Now, from morning till night, will he disport himself in the dark blue overalls which proclaim his kinship with the world of laboring men ; and this is well, for, after all, this young son of ours is not going to be a lily of the field, clothed upon with perishable glory, but a member of the toiling, sweating, useful, and, on the whole, pretty happy human family. In order that the child may freely enjoy the creeping period and at the same time bring as little annoyance as possible to his mother, he must be clothed with an express eye to the nature of his activities. The best creeping clothes are probably the little dark blue overalls just referred to. The legs are made very full and baggy, and drawn in at the knees with an elastic band. They are, in short, much like a pair of Turkish trousers. Dark blue German calico, which is heavier than the American calico, THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 173 is the best material of which to make them. They are cut in two pieces after any ordinary trousers pattern, stitched up at the seams, and hemmed with an inch-wide hem around the waist and the knees. A narrow flat silk elastic (not round) is then run into these hems. Silk elastic is preferred because it is more flexible than the cotton and does not bind the legs and waist so tightly. This little garment may then be drawn on right over the baby's skirts, when the waist elastic will fasten it securely in position. WAISTS AND SLEEVES Some of the ready-made creepers have a bib like an overall bib, and this has the advantage of holding the garment more securely. It is, how- ever, more troublesome when the baby needs to be changed. But the baby's sleeves and arms get very much soiled, too. Therefore it is well to make him a little loose, long-sleeved jacket of the same blue material ; or, if it be summer, of the lighter weight American calico. Sonic mothers put i 7 4 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK sleeved bibs on their babies during feeding time, and these bibs (which also can be bought ready- made) may be substituted for the jacket. The point is to cover the sleeves and the front of the dress as well as the skirts. If the trousers are made amply long and full, so that there is a generous bagging at the knees, the stockings will not be worn out at the knees, nor will the creepers themselves give out here as soon as they would if the material were scant over this region. It is a good plan, however, in making up the garments, to stitch a square of goods on the wrong side just over the knees. SHOES The shoes bought for the baby's use during this period need to be of fairly strong leather. Here again daintiness must give way to utility. The constant dragging of the feet along on the floor wears through the toes of delicate kid shoes within a week. Something can be done to pro- tect them by making a pair of little slips of the blue calico. These are practically little pockets THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 175 which cover the toes of the shoes. They are held in place by a strap of elastic passing round the back of the heel, after the fashion of a woman's slip rubbers. When the baby is thus dressed, it is evident that there is not much use wasting elaborately made dresses and skirts upon him. Indeed, the more clothing he has on the more awkward he looks and feels. He needs, however, to be warmly covered, because he is now exploring all sorts of draughty places. This is best accomplished by means of a thick little shirt and a flannel, long-sleeved gown. If he has enough flannel nightgowns, he can just wear one in the daytime and another at night. By this means each one has an opportunity to be well aired, while he himself lives continually in loose, warm gar- ments. If he is dressed according to the Gertrude plan, advocated in this book, his long-sleeved flannel petticoat with the corresponding under- garments will be exactly right for him. Other- wise, of course, he will need to wear a warm knitted skirt under his flannel gown. 176 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK UNDERCLOTHING As for his legs, now so continually in contact with the cold floor, they must be especially warmly clothed. For this purpose he will need to wear woolen stockings, and a certain curious kind of under-drawers with the seat cut out. They are fastened at the hips by safety pins to the undershirt. A little square of cotton cloth needs to be stitched on the shirts at each side to take care of this pin. The illustration here gives the shape of the little leglets, which serve as under-drawers for the creep- ing baby. Thus protected, he is safe from any but the most outra- geous draughts. For one thing, his active exercise itself keeps him warm, and in condition to One Leg of Under-drawers for Creeping Child thrOW off any harm which might overtake a less active youngster. He is armored now for business, and just watch the THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 177 joy with which he goes about it. If we could only retain his zest for activity, his untiring in- terest in everything about him, and his delight in his own activity, how nearly we should find even this commonplace old world like the king- dom of heaven ! PROGRESS OF THE MONTH At last, when he is nine months old, the baby can turn over in his crib. Now, this is a most useful accomplishment, because until he attained it, it was not safe to leave him unwatched. Many cases have been reported where children unable to turn themselves have smothered to death in their own cribs. Therefore it is a blessed relief to know that now, in all proba- bility, our baby can extricate himself from any such dilemma. To make sure of it, let us turn him, when he is asleep, over on his face and watch results. If he manages to struggle back to a more comfortable position, we shall know- that he is safe, even when left alone. Last month we found that he laughed a full, N i 7 8 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK joyous laugh. This month we find he delights in striking his hands together and then laughing at his own accomplishment. He is also more and more interested in what- ever goes on about him. His observation is more definite, and he has a greater body of ex- perience against which to contrast his present experiences. Just as he used to watch bottles with delight, so now he is specially interested in all sorts of boxes, especially those that look like the talcum powder box from which he has derived so much satisfaction. All new objects he regards attentively, and he watches the doors as they open and shut. SENSITIVENESS TO NOISE His sensitiveness to noise is very great. Perhaps at this period, when he is usually teeth- ing, it is even greater than at any other time. This is shown in the fact that a loud bang causes a number of reflex motions. A sudden noise of this sort will, for instance, cause him to throw up his arms in his sleep, although the sleep itself THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 179 is not broken. Preyer reports that his child slammed down the cover of a large caraffe. Each time he winked and jumped, but, neverthe- less, his pleasure in the new sight and sound, and in being able to make the exciting thing happen, kept him slamming it over and over again. A practical corollary to be deduced from these facts is that now we shall have to be even more careful than before of the baby's sleeping time. He will need to be in a very quiet room, and as far as possible all noises must be kept from him. For these nervous actions, while not harmful in themselves, nevertheless exhaust to a certain degree his nervous vitality, and prevent his getting fully refreshed from his sleep at a time when he particularly needs it. Preyer reports that at this period even a loud word sometimes brings on winking, fright, quick breathing, screaming, and tears. EXPRESSIVE MOTIONS Our youngster has now acquired a new range of expressive motions. He shuts his eyes with- 180 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK out screaming, but with a frowning brow, when- ever he has to endure something disagreeable, such as an older person rubbing an inquisitive finger over his gums in search of teeth. He often expresses desire by a peculiar cooing sound with his mouth tight shut. This is sometimes accompanied by an outreaching of the arms and hands, and its meaning is perfectly evident even to an uninitiated outsider. Although he cannot yet speak a single word, he understands many words, and proves this by his actions made in response to a question. When he is asked, " Where is the light ? " he turns his head toward it. Or, " Where is bow- wow ? " cc Where is papa ? " etc. Many children also at this stage are easily taught to point out their own eyes, nose, and mouth. At the same time he is evidently steadily moving on toward the time when he will be able to speak. His voice is becoming more modulated. Even his screaming is less monoto- nous, and it is quite easy to distinguish whether he is screaming from pain or anger or fright. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 181 Whatever sounds he makes are accompanied by gestures and expressive movements of his fea- tures. Preyer's boy said " ma — ma, am — ma" whenever he wished to express pleasure ; also "a — pa, a — cha" and "ga — an — a"; and most children use the same or closely allied expres- sions. The inexperienced and proud young mother and father are likely to think at this stage that their young son is really saying mamma and papa with full appreciation of the meaning of those words ; but they are probably mistaken. FEAR Those persons who think that children who are never taught to fear, and who never see persons around them exhibiting fear, will them- selves be fearless, have to prove their contention against considerable difficulties. The baby in this early stage already shows unmistakable symptoms of fear of so irrational and absurd a character, as measured by adult standards, that it cannot have been acquired as a result cither of deliberate teaching or of imitation. For in- i82 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK stance, many children are at this stage much afraid of dogs ; and Preyer reports that his little son screamed violently on seeing some young pigs suckle their mother. It turned out, later, that he thought they were biting her. For a long time afterward, even after he was able to talk, dreams of biting pigs evidently occurred to him, for he would cry out in his sleep, " Go away, pig ! " A little girl was similarly afraid of doves ; and I remember my own little son be- ing much agitated over a chimney hole high up in the wall of an attic room. Preyer concludes that fear and courage are unequally distributed among children ; are often quite independent of training. He thinks also that they are hereditary and constitutional. On the whole, he is sure that courageous mothers tend to have courageous children. But it is always possible that the child may inherit from the other side of the house or from ancestors farther back, and so prove himself the timid child of brave parents. I think myself that Jack London is quite right psychologically when he points out, in his story THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 183 of pre-historic man, Before Adam^ that fear was originally necessary to man, it being the chief means of keeping him on guard against the manifold dangers that beset him. The useful faculty has by now become so ingrained in hu- man nature that it crops up still in our children. This is the period when the child begins to creep. As we have seen, it is a most important stage educationally, and the activity should never be checked. STANDING ALONE Many children now stand for a moment by a chair or a table, sometimes even without support. If they are much urged they may even begin to walk a little, but much early exercise of the as yet undeveloped legs is by no means desirable. It is much better for the child to creep, defer- ring walking until his legs are thoroughly strong. The average weight of the nine-months-old baby is seventeen pounds. He has already got his lower middle front teeth, and about this time the upper front teeth put in an appearance. ^^^s^^^^^^^ I p^/^^>^§?5^ES i,w»^«^J X i WJT^^^^^WU^ CHAPTER XI NOVEMBER Ten Months Old The first language in child and savage alike is gesture. This is aided by half-articulate cries which, as time and the child's intelligence prog- ress, become more and more articulate and definite in their meaning. The six-months- old child, for example, tugs at the front of his mother's dress when he is hungry. After a little he holds out his arms to be taken, or reaches out toward something that he wants, waves bye-bye, and still later on points out his own eyes, nose, and ears when asked to do so. There seems to be a universal sign language which, at least in its elements, is common to all peoples. Thus, the savage of North America 184 ' % m 'r^f M * 1 i 1 * ' ^ Wkk 1 J THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 185 and the untrained deaf-mute can understand each other when speaking in gestures. This fact is often made a basis for the widely spread teach- ing of the so-called sign language to deaf-mutes. But the argument is fallacious, because the ges- ture language which the deaf-mutes and savages have in common is not the same as the highly conventionalized language taught in most of our state institutions. In the latter, for example, the drawing of the thumb down the cheek is the sign used to mean woman. This comes from the fact that the conventional sign language originated in France, where the women wear caps. Drawing down the thumb is meant to signify the cap string as it passes over the cheek. But it may readily be seen that such a gesture would be void of significance to an American Indian or to any other race whose women do not wear cap strings. LIMITATION OF GESTURE The difficulty with gesture is that it is limited in significance. In the nature of things it must apply to objects and to animal-like desires. It 186 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK does not lend itself well to ideas of God, and of abstract right and wrong. Therefore, deaf- mute children who are restricted chiefly to the sign language rarely progress beyond a limited range of ideas. This is one of the strongest arguments for the teaching of speech to such children. It is not usually known that all deaf- mutes, not feeble-minded and in possession of sound organs of mouth and throat, may be taught speech. The difficulty is merely that, not hearing speech, they find it hard to imitate. Children and childlike races use more gestures in their speech than do adults of the more highly developed races. It is even said that some savages can hardly understand each other in the dark. However, in normal children the passage from gesture to speech is easy and comes almost with- out observation. The brain centers for speech and for the right hand lie close together, and the anatomical appearance is as if the use of either would tend to stimulate the other. As a matter of fact, in the training of feeble-minded THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 187 children the development of the hand has been found of great value in the development of speech and of other nearly-related brain centers. ARTICULATE CRIES Gesture, as we have just said, is accompanied from the beginning with more or less articulate cries. Significant cries are not limited to the human being. Buckman points out that fowls have twelve or more different cries by which they warn and guide each other ; cats, six ; rooks, six; and monkeys, two hundred or more, — almost a language in itself. Miss Tanner adds that idiots who cannot learn to speak or under- stand words can be taught some things merely by tone and gesture. During the first months the baby limits him- self almost wholly to vowel sounds, especially •#, ody a. The first consonant is usually an indistinct hard g> sounded partly in the throat and partly through the nose. Then comes ///, p y d y /, and k. Thus is arrived at the char- acteristic "a-goo." He tends also to double and 188 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK repeat syllables as savages do. Thus, cc goo-goo- goo. " The combination " ma-ma-ma " is usually the first. Buckman has an ingenious theory to account for this fact. He agrees with Vierordt that a usually signifies pleasure, and a signifies pain. Therefore, very naturally he thinks the broad a, used when the child is hungry and in pain, becomes a way of calling for his mother, who relieves hunger and pain. Presently he adds to it one of his earliest consonants, m> and then works his little trick of doubling syllables ; and there you have " mamma." The root of this word is found in Sanskrit, Greek, and Latin, as well as in our modern languages. IMITATIVE SOUNDS It is during the second six months that the child usually begins to imitate the sounds made by others. Sometimes he achieves remarkable success in this effort ; at other times he makes ludicrous failures. He imitates vowels more easily than consonants. To appreciate the diffi- culty of his task, let the mother herself THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 189 undertake to try to make some of the ex- traordinary noises which he manages to make. She will find some of the clicks and gutturals (which, by the bye, are much like the gutturals used by savages, the Arabs, and the Hebrews) quite sufficiently difficult of imitation, and will thereafter enter more sympathetically into her child's efforts to imitate her. TRYING TO WALK Toward the end of the first year the baby's attention seems to be switched from talking to walking. He gives his whole mind now to the effort to gain control of his newly acquired powers of locomotion. Usually these efforts put a complete stop to all further progress in the acquisition of speech, and sometimes he even forgets much of that which he has already acquired. But after he has mastered walking he regains his speech, and from that on his progress is very rapid. The order of his intellectual advancement seems to be that he first understands speech, i 9 o THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK then attempts to imitate it, then walks, and still later talks. The child's first speech is so surprising and charming that it is no wonder we have formed the habit of imitating it and using " baby talk." But in doing so Miss Tanner declares that we hinder the child's speech by limiting ourselves to him. He ought to have put before him for imitation perfect and distinct models of speech. Even with such reiterated examples he is likely to find the matter of talking quite difficult enough. But if his examples themselves are poor and incomplete, how much greater his difficulty ! LEARNING TO SPEAK As to the time in which a child ought to be able to learn to speak with a fair degree of fluency and accuracy, accounts differ. There may be wide variations without abnormality. While it is true that failure to speak within a reasonable period is one of the diagnostic signs of some forms of under-development of the brain, and of some diseases, yet many of the closest observers of children say that we cannot THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 191 rightly conclude from this sign alone that a child is abnormal, unless he does not speak by the time he is five years old. But, of course, as we all know from ordinary observation, most children speak fairly well at two years of age, and with considerable fluency at three years of age. Perez says that " the more intelligent a child is the less he uses words, and the more necessary it is for him that words should signify something to him if he is to learn them ; and this is why he only learns words in proportion as he gains ideas by objects. " This pronounce- ment, made by undoubted authority, offers con- siderable consolation to the parents of children who are late in learning to speak. As for parents of children who talk when they are a little over a year old there is no consolation for them. But, indeed, they don't need any, being already puffed up with pride ! What they do need is a friendly warning to make sure that their child is not being pushed ahead too fast, for precocity is, as we are learning to know, a danger signal. 192 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK IS IT REAL TEMPER The world of mothers is divided into two fac- tions in the discussion of this important question. There are those who think that the baby shows real temper within the first few months of life ; and not only that, but that he can be taught by pain of various kinds to control his temper. There are others who think that genuine temper and self-will is impossible before the end of the first year, and that, therefore, any attempt at dis- cipline is quite out of place before the close of this period. Now let us see what the scientific child observers, who have carefully avoided tak- ing any side in this practical controversy, have to say as to the baby's temper. Darwin observed that on the eighth day his child wrinkled his brow and frowned when cry- ing, as if in anger. Perez noticed that a child in the second month pushed away with a frown dis- tasteful objects. He adds that in the fourth month anger was unmistakably shown, the face and head were red, and the cry was irritable. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 193 This anger is caused at first by delay in supply- ing food ; but two or three months later will be called out by any thwarting of desire, such as the dropping of a toy. Commenting on these facts, Miss Tanner remarks : — " Anger at this early age, it must be noted, is simply the instinctive rebelling against pain. It is wholly unreasonable and is best dealt with by diverting the child's attention if the deprivation is for the child's good. As the child gets a little older, especially if it is a boy, he is likely to vent his anger by beating the person or thing that offends him, or by throwing things at them. Here, also, until a child can be reasoned with, diversion of attention and the final securing of an expression of affection is the wisest method of treatment. CAUSES OF ANGER "At best only a few of the causes of anger can be enumerated. There is, in the first place, what may be called an irascible disposition, with which some seem to be born. Disappointments and o i 9 4 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK vexations which others would hardly notice result in violent outbursts of temper. Personal pecul- iarities of speech, gait, dress, — almost anything, in fact, — may lead to a hate that is almost mur- derous in its vindictiveness. When a child is so unfortunate in its disposition, only the most constant, temperate, kindly training in self-con- trol will help him. " There are, in some cases, physical conditions causing constant irritation which are reflected in this bad temper. Hence parents should first of all ascertain whether the child is healthy. Fatigue is also a common cause of irritability." DESTRUCTIVE TANTRUMS In children who are eight months old or more, there appears sometimes a violent destructive anger very hard to reckon with. In these emo- tional paroxysms the child destroys anything within his reach, screaming meanwhile at the top of his lungs. In such activity the love of pro- ducing a change is undoubtedly mingled with emotional excitement. Hysterical women some- THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 195 times exhibit the same symptoms. I knew per- sonally a woman prominent in club work, the president of a certain federation, who, during fits of emotional excitement, would tear down cur- tains and smash furniture and china. In her it was plainly to be seen that passion operated as a sort of moral intoxication ; and the same thing is true with children. In their ordinary moments they feel themselves weak. Their desires, how- ever strong, cannot always take effect. But under the influence of passion they feel momen- tarily strong, and this delights them. A child in such a tantrum is temporarily insane. The tantrum itself is a species of emo- tional insanity. There is certainly no use argu- ing with him, and still less use in threatening. The only thing to do is to keep as still and cool as possible yourself, and to act promptly. You have the advantage of your size : make use of it. Pick him up, carry him to a quiet place where there is nothing he can injure, and leave him there. Solitude and silence are his best helpers. 196 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK PUNISHMENT Striking and punishment are worse than useless. Usually they do not even succeed in quieting the child. But if they do, you have merely substi- tuted the base emotion of fear for the emotion of anger — and that is little gained. In most cases you will find that the real truth is that the child has made you angry. You have been overcome by the contagion of his evil state, instead of over- coming evil with good. Many mothers fail of utter honesty with them- selves in this matter. They often pretend that their excited feelings were not anger, but only a zealous wish for the child's welfare. But God, who sees beneath our feeble pretenses, knows that when we large, strong women strike swiftly, and with something of enjoyment in the act, our little children, we are angry! We are in a temper which has in it more of moral turpitude than the hasty temper of the child himself. I do not be- lieve, nor can any one make me believe, that a woman ever struck a child in perfect calmness of THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 197 spirit, her heart filled with love. I used to think that I could do it ; and I used to fool myself into thinking that I had done it; but now that years have brought comparative calmness I know better. REMOVING TEMPTATIONS The thing we ought to try to do is, first, to avoid as far as possible all occasions for such dis- play of temper, for it is very easy to form in a child the habit of emotional uncontrol. Espe- cially is this so when a child inherits from either father or mother that weakness which we call quick temper. We need to establish a habit of poise, and of quiet, and therefore to remove as far as possible all temptations. This does not mean at all that the child should have his own way in everything for fear of an outbreak of temper. On the contrary, he must never be allowed to feel that he gains any- thing by a display of temper, except quiet and solitude. It means simply that we should look ahead ; and when we know, for example, that being lifted suddenly out of a warm bath into a 198 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK comparatively cold room brings on crying, we shall try to have something to distract his atten- tion, like a piece of candy to pop into his mouth at the psychological moment. Or when we know that he becomes restless and irritable when his meals are long delayed, we will put ourselves out to see to it that they are not delayed at all. And so with other recognized causes of bad temper. QUIET AND SOLITUDE But when, on the other hand, the temper is on in full force, we must see to it that the child does not get what he is screaming for. Even if it is right in itself, it is not right to let him have it while he is screaming, lest he come to think that letting go of himself is a good way of getting what he wants. Physical motion of all sorts forms a good vent for such nervous and emotional excitement. If the child can be induced to run out of doors, or can be given a hammer to pound with, or in any other way can be led to work off the nervous excitement through muscular activity, his temper will evaporate harmlessly. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 199 The cures for temper, then, are : First, the avoidance of provocation ; second, distracted attention ; third, active physical exercise ; and fourth, if all these fail, solitude and quiet until the storm has blown itself out. FALLING OBJECTS Our decision, then, as to the controversy stated in the beginning of this article, is that the baby has a real temper long before he is a year old, but that he is not able to control it himself. As we see, from the Progress of the Months he has not yet built, in brain and nervous system, the mechanism which enables us grown-up people to deny ourselves the yielding to an impulse. In psychological terms, he is not yet able to inhibit (or forbid) his impulses. Of course, no amount of punishment will build this mechanism for him. We have, then, to wait and, meanwhile, to help him. PROGRESS OF THE MONTH About the tenth month the child discovers his own body as distinct from other bodies ; that IS, 200 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK he begins to make this discovery. He is not perfectly sure of the fact until he is almost two years old. Preyer, among his careful records of his own little son, makes the following comment upon this fact : — " How little he understands, even after the first year of his life has passed, the difference between the parts of his own body and foreign objects is shown also in some strange experiments that the child conducted quite independently. He sits by me at the table and strikes very often and rapidly with his hands successive blows upon the table, at first gently, then hard ; then, with the right hand alone, hard ; next, suddenly strikes himself with the same hand on the mouth ; then he holds his hand to his mouth for a while, strikes the table again with the right hand, and then on a sudden strikes his own head (above the ear). The whole performance gave exactly the impression of his having for the first time noticed that it is one thing to strike one's self, one's own hard head, and another thing to strike a foreign hard object (forty-first week)." THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 201 Now, for the first time, also, the child looks at an object when it falls to the floor. Last month he dropped it out of his hand and seemed to be sur- prised at its disappearance, but he did not follow it with his eyes unless it moved very slowly. But this month his greater control over the muscles of his eyes, and his growing powers of reasoning from cause to effect, lead him to follow the falling object and notice where it lies. This fact is the secret of that trick which so much annoys mother and nurses at this period, i.e. the trick of throwing down almost everything that is put into his hands. He is really making a series of experiments in doing this, and is dis- covering what each human being has to discover afresh for himself; namely, that bodies are heavy, and fall if not supported. CAUSALITY At this time the child turns his head in the direction of any new sound that he hears. This is especially marked in the quick turning toward the sound of his mother's voice. This mav look 202 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK like a slight thing, but it gives evidence of great intellectual advance. For the child is evidently reasoning thus : cc Here is a sound. Every sound I have heard was accompanied by some- thing moving. Something must be moving now. What is it ? I will look around and see," Preyer has another instance to relate in illus- tration of this trait : he tells how his child when ten months old struck several times with a spoon upon a plate. It happened accidentally, while he was doing this, that he touched the plate with the hand that was free ; the sound w T as dulled, and the child noticed the difference. He now took the spoon in the other hand, struck with it on the plate, dulled the sound again, and so on. In the evening this experiment was renewed, with a like result. Evidently the function of causality had emerged in some strength, for it prompted the experiment. The cause of the dulling of the sound by the hand — was it in the hand or in the plate ? The other hand had the same dulling effect, so the cause was not lodged with the one THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 203 hand. Pretty nearly in this fashion the child must have interpreted his sound-impression, and this at a time when he did not know a single word of language. BITING Biting begins to appear about this time, and as the child has now four teeth, the biting is dis- tinctly effectual, — as many a nursing mother knows to her cost ! This action is as instinctive as sucking. If the baby is given bread, he promptly proceeds to crunch it with his sharp little teeth, without being instructed or seeing any one whose action he imitates. EYES His eyes still converge a little at times, and continue to do so until the twentieth month. But it is evident that the more he uses his eves with conscious purpose the more they tend to move evenly in the same direction. He looks more often at objects connected with his food than anything else. The intensity of his atten- tion may easily be guessed by the more or less 2o 4 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK complete fixation of his eyes when gazing at any object. HANDS As to his hands, he has already made great progress in the skillful use of his thumb and fingers. He shows it particularly when tearing papers, for he is already able to pick up from the floor very small shreds. But if any of these pieces of paper get in his mouth, his efforts to get them out again with his own fingers are very awkward, showing that touch without sight is as yet uncertain. With sight, however, it is already definite enough to enable him to pass a very small object, such as a thread or hair, from one hand to the other. He gains also in the power to use his arms, and may now be taught to wave bye-bye in imitation, although he does not yet understand the significance of the gesture. SELF-CONTROL The voluntary impulses are now rapidly grow- ing. The baby is even able at times to forbid a THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 205 reflex nervous action. You will remember that reflex acts, such as the winking of an eyelid before an expected blow, are quite involuntary. Adults gradually teach themselves to control most of these reflexes ; but before the tenth month babies cannot do so. The machinery which would enable him, for instance, to resist the urgence of bladder or bowels is now only beginning to be built in his brain. Therefore up to this time it is perfectly useless to try to teach him habits of self-control in this regard. A puppy may be trained when three months old; but not a baby. As we have seen in our studies of precocity, this is because the baby has so many more things to teach his brain than the puppy has that all he can do for a long time is just to start the good work. He can't finish any of it. So, no matter what nurses and neighbors may say about phenomenal babies who use the chair from the beginning, don't believe a word oi it ! Let your youngster alone until he is at least ten months old. Then observe his natural intervals and conform your training to them. 206 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK Soon he will begin to announce his needs by restlessness. This means that there is a struggle going on between his new-born powers of self- control and his well-established reflex impulses. The struggle cannot be maintained long, and the mother must not expect it, but must be quick to offer assistance. There is no need of punishment, for the child is glad to welcome such help as this. SITTING UP IN BATH About this time the youngster, who has long been making efforts to sit alone in his bath, at last accomplishes his object. He has long been able, of course, to sit up on his mother's lap, but that is because her body aids him in his efforts at equilibrium. It is different in the bath, where the smooth surface of the tub offers him the least possible support. However, he at last succeeds, and can now maintain his sitting posture for some minutes without support, so long as his attention is not distracted. This is one of his chief studies for this month, and he usually masters it for life. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 207 WALKING When he is held up under the arms so that his feet touch the floor, he makes walking mo- tions. At first his feet cross over once in a while, and he makes sidewise steps. As neither of these acts bring any unpleasant consequences, the psy- chologists are puzzled to know why he struggles not to repeat them, and keeps on trying to move forward in a straight line. He soon succeeds in this, and manages to make very good straight- away steps, although he lifts his foot too high and stamps too hard. His interest in this activity is so great that his crying can often be stopped merely by holding him so that he can walk forward. SPEECH As for his speech, it is evident that he uses more syllables and varies them better when he is left all alone and is chattering away to him- self, than when some one is noticing him, and talking back to him. In this we sec again that spontaneous activity, the mere unconscious use 208 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK of the organs of speech, is at once more per- fect and of a lower order than voluntary, conscious use of the same organ. That is, when the baby is merely playing with his tongue and throat, gurgling, and cooing, and smacking his lips, and uttering various sounds, this performance, which does not require any particular effort of the will, is more perfect of its kind than his attempts at imitation. When he says C£ ma-ma-ma-ma-ma ) ,, for instance, just opening and shutting his lips, his enunciation is more perfect than when he tries to say the same word in imitation of his mother. Yet already these meaningless babblings are begin- ning to come under the control of his will, for he tries hard to imitate those who speak to him, and he yields the closest attention to the effort. The latest researches into the great problem of the relation of the brain to the mind show that such faculties as, for instance, the speech centers, are actually built up in the brain structure by the will of the individual. In these early efforts to imitate speech we see the will THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 209 of the little child actually building in his brain that power of uttered speech which beyond all other faculties distinguishes man from animals. The baby already has four teeth, and no more are due now until the fifteenth month. His weight should be about seventeen pounds, and his height about twenty-seven inches. CHAPTER XII DECEMBER One Year Old WEANING At the close of the first year we have to face the problem of weaning the baby. But if we have been in truth wise, we have already made considerable preparation for this event — did you think I was going to say ordeal ? It used to be an ordeal to mother, child, and the whole family ; but it need not be one, if you will ex- ercise a little common sense, and take a little time in which to make the change. First, let's take a look at the old-fashioned way of weaning. The mother seizes upon the opportune visit of some near friend or relative, THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 211 and decides then and there, with scant reference to the baby's health and comfort, or, indeed, to her own, to have the weaning. To this solemn and uncomfortable rite three days and nights are devoted. Without warning or preparation the poor baby, full of his own affairs, very busy try- ing to walk and talk, is suddenly deprived of the chief joy and sustenance of his life. Of course he howls, stretching out appealing hands to his mother whenever she comes in sight. There- fore she keeps mostly away, and the forlorn youngster has to put up with a poor substi- tute. Any one, the most devoted grandmother, even, is a poor substitute for mother in a baby's eyes. Then his stomach begins to bother him, and strange discomforts pervade his abdominal regions, because, of course, he is partaking of unfamiliar food. But when he cries he doesn't get mamma, and a warm snuggle against a sweet breast full of comtort, but a dry old auntie or grandma, with some peppermint in a spoon ! And at night he sleeps with it — with this odious person who 212 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK has taken the place of his mother ! No wonder he howls and frets, and sometimes makes himself ill. Scarcely a greater grief could befall a year- old baby than this sudden loss of his beloved comforter and source of food supply. He doesn't know that he will ever get it back again — and indeed he will only get it back in part. Such weaning is to him poverty, famine, and sudden death, all rolled into one pain and bewil- derment. MISERY FOR TWO Meanwhile, the young mother is going about with bursting breasts and a yearning heart. She tries to be deaf to his cries ; but in truth she wants him almost as much as he wants her. To be sure, she can relieve the painful pressure of the milk by using a breast- pump ; but what a substitute is this harsh thing for the baby's soft, strong little mouth and push- ing, warm, snuggly body ! She rubs on Bella- donna ointment, and in spite of bandages, pump, and medicine, drips milk almost as plentifully as the baby drips tears. THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 213 Such weaning is a wicked and senseless per- formance, full of pain for both mother and child, and likely to give rise to serious mischief. A disordered digestion on the part of the baby, and consequent retardation of his growth and in- terference with his normal activities, is almost sure to follow ; and some babies even become ill. As for the mother, she may get an abscess in her breast or lay the foundations for a future tumor or cancer. Now, having looked on that picture, look on this. This is the right way to wean a baby : — THE RIGHT WAY Gradually in the last two or three months he has been getting extra things to eat — a soft-boiled egg once in a while, or milk toast, or baked potato with cream, or a bit of bacon to suck. He has tried a little oat- meal water or barley water. The oatmeal he gets when his bowels are too tight, the bar- ley when they are too loose. What is neces- sary is just to increase this feeding — very 214 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK gently and slowly. What has been irregular now becomes regular. He has first one meal a day which is not drawn from your breasts. You can tell, by watching his bowels, his sleep, his general serenity, which foods agree with him. Keep this up for a week at least, and for longer if the new food still shows signs of imperfect assimilation. Then, by the time this rule has been established, your breasts will have ceased to swell and throb at the hour when you used to nurse him, but at which he is now fed. If omitting one meal a day gives you this discomfort, think how you'd suffer if you suddenly omitted all the meals ! GRADUAL WEANING Next week, feed him twice a day. The week after, three times. And so on. This is as fast as you can go. Indeed, it is better to go slower, and make the change only every two weeks. The whole weaning is safest and happiest when it spreads over a period of three months. After all, that is none too long a time to accustom THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 215 the baby to such a change of nourishment. But if there is any special occasion why you should hurry, you can try changing one meal every week. But even then you must watch carefully to make sure you are not going too fast. WRONG WAYS As for the kind of food to wean on, there are a few " don'ts " to be disposed of before we pass to more positive instructions. Dont change to any kind of bottle food. If you do, you'll have a second weaning to go through by and by. Change at once to spoon-fed foods, and no bottle at night. Keep shifting along the night nursing until it coincides with the early morning nursing. This can be the last to go, because it is the one for which other food can be least conven- iently substituted. After he has learned to eat heartily and digest his food well, vou can give him a piece of bacon to suck in the early morn- ing instead of nursing him. Anyway, he will 216 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK soon be so intensely interested and tired with his play, that he will sleep right through the night, and until almost time for you to get up. Don't change to any single special food. The baby now needs variety. Advertisements to the contrary notwithstanding, there is no prepared food which meets all the needs of a growing child. Follow his appetite somewhat, and give him the stimulus of variety. Don't have him sit at the table with the family, where he is fed all sorts of things, no one knows how much. It's such fun to feed a baby that he tempts the sternest father or even big brother to indulge him beyond reasonable bounds. If he must come into the dining room at all — it is much better that he should not, if he has a nurse — let him have his own little low table and kindergarten chair, close beside his mother. From that lowly place he cannot see the tempting food spread out above, and he takes with joy whatever is given him. This is a good plan to follow out for the first four years. As other children come they can join this little THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 217 party, only graduating to the large table when they have reached years of fair discretion and decent table manners. Now as to the articles of food he may have : FOODS FOR WEANLING Milk, of course. Do not too quickly yield to a supposed idiosyncrasy against it. It is true that some children cannot take it; but they are a very small percentage of the total number of children. Mothers who do not like milk them- selves often give up very quickly the effort to make their children like it — thus laying up all sorts of trouble for the future. The child who likes milk can be well fed almost anywhere, but the child who dislikes it finds half the usual soups, vegetables, and desserts spoiled for him by its presence. If your baby does not like straight milk, try giving it to him warmed and sweetened. Or make him a cup of " cambric tea" — that is, hot water, sugar, and cream. Be careful not to use too much sugar. Sugar* of-milk, to be had in packages from the drug 2i 8 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK stores, is better for the weanling than cane or beet sugar. It does not ferment in the stomach. Next, soft-boiled eggs. Or very hard-boiled eggs, cooked at least fifteen minutes. Next toast, buttered, and wet with a little hot water ; or milk toast ; or toast with a little platter-gravy on it ; or toast with a soft poached egg on it. Next, Educator crackers, or other hard, dry crackers that will not choke him with crumbs. Bacon, boiled, not fried. Let him hold a strip and suck it. Being boiled, it will not break off in his mouth. It is a wonderful appetizer and full of nourishment. Other meats, in small quantities, are best given only after the appearance of the double teeth. FRUITS AND VEGETABLES As for vegetables, he can have baked pota- toes, with a little cream on them. Fried pota- toes he must never touch until he is three years old at least. Boiled potatoes are permissible, but not so good as baked. Potatoes must never THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 219 become a staple article of diet. They make neither bone nor muscle, but chiefly fat. The usual breakfast cereals that cook up into porridges are all right ; but not the flakes nor puffed grains. The baby cannot chew these, and when he does not choke on them he swal- lows them whole, and they go right through his little system, irritating as they go. Oat- meal is excellent when there is no looseness of the bowels. It is not good in hot weather. As for fruits, he can have a baked apple, the seeds and skin carefully removed, and orange juice, and small quantities of the pulp of per- fectly ripe, perfectly fresh, raw fruits, such as apples, peaches, and bananas. These should be scraped with a spoon, and fed to him only a very little at a time, — say three teaspoonfuls. They, too, are excellent appetizers. Babies love ba- nanas, and this love may be safely gratified if the mother makes it a rule never to give them the fruit itself to hold, but feeds it a little bit at B time, scraped fine in a spoon. This fruit must be perfectly ripe, but not at all overripe. The 220 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK indigestibility of the banana consists in the fact that it requires saliva for its digestion and yet slides down the throat so easily without chewing that it is rarely mingled with this necessary fluid. It is a good idea to plan the weanling's meals as carefully as you do those of the rest of the family. I always write down my menus for the day in a little blank book kept for the purpose ; and I used to write out the babies' meals by themselves. Thus I secured for them an attractive and wholesome variety. TIME OF WEANING As for the time of weaning, it should be about the close of the first year. Unless the mother is ill, or there is some serious trouble with her milk, weaning ought never to be attempted before this time. A slight, temporary derange- ment of the milk is not enough to justify wean- ing. Of course, another pregnancy necessitates it, for no woman can nourish properly two babies at once. However, the old-fashioned idea that a THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 221 woman is not very likely to become pregnant while she is nursing is founded on fact, and constitutes another reason for not weaning before the close of the first year. But some women carry this idea much too far, and nurse the baby almost into the third year in the hope of escaping pregnancy. This is alto- gether a mistake. Such prolonged suckling is not good for either mother or child ; and it will not accomplish the object she has in view. It will simply make her a thin, pale, dragged-out woman with a pale, flabby, fretful baby in her arms. If the weaning begins at one year, as here advised, and lasts three months, the mother will gradually cease nursing, will recover her tone, and, when the baby is fifteen months old, will be rosy and healthy, with an equally rosy and healthy baby. Let's hope they'll live happy ever after — for they've certainly had a good start. 222 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK LEARNING TO WALK When the baby began to creep we noticed how his horizon had widened, and how many more experiences he had with which to build up his growing personality. Now we see that walking is as much of an advance over creeping as creep- ing was over the previous stage in which the child had to be carried about by his mother. It is so largely because the upright position sets the child's hands free. He can not only go to what he wants, but can feel of it, and carry it about with him from place to place. In creeping, of course, this was not possible. When he gains this power he eats and sleeps better, his general health improves, and he is sweeter tempered. This fact, together with a number of others con- firmatory of the same truth, shows that active exercise of all the powers is necessary to health and happiness. In beginning to walk the baby holds on at first by the wall or furniture. He has already probably had considerable practice in moving THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 223 over the floor as if walking, although his weight has been partly supported by some one who holds him under the arms. The next stage is his attempt to get along by himself, substituting the wall or a chair for the missing human hand. Very independent babies when they first find that they can get about in this way resent the too-efficient assistance of the mother. They want to be able to get about by themselves, and this desire, while it often makes the mother ache with suppressed helpfulness, should, nevertheless, be encouraged. Long after he walks by holding on to chairs and walls the little fellow will drop on all fours and creep over open spaces. PUSHING A CHAIR Presently he learns to push a chair ahead of him, and for this purpose nothing is so good as a strong, well-built child's rocking chair, for the rockers enable it to slide smoothly over the floor, and its height is about right for the little fellow, who still maintains a half-recumbent attitude. 224 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK As he pushes the chair about, his fat legs bravely straddling, it is evident that this mode of pro- gression now is just about halfway between creeping and walking. The baby carriage, too, is a great help to him at this time. He can take hold of the handles, push it ahead of him, and at the same time maintain his own balance ; but the easily moving wheels tend to go so swiftly that a restraining hand is necessary to keep him from bumping his ambitious little nose. In trying to go entirely alone the fear of falling hinders many children. I have never been able to agree with those people who think that it does not matter how many bumps a child may get in his first attempts at walking. If he is too often hurt, it stands to reason that he will become timid and afraid of venturing again, and thus these early falls may lead to an unnecessarily late development of his powers of locomotion. FEAR AS AN OBSTACLE Often a child who is really able to walk by himself is still so fearful of falling that he will THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 225 not attempt it. He will hold on to one finger, exerting almost no pressure upon it, and walk bravely ; but he will not even attempt to go alone. Miss Tanner tells of one little girl who had always held on to her mother's dress while walking. One day she seized the scallops of her own skirt and walked bravely off, perform- ing a feat closely analogous to the famous one of raising one's self by one's boot straps. Pro- fessor Hall's daughter chanced to walk alone for the first time when she had a pair of her father's cuffs slipped over her arms, and for several days she could walk very well with them on, but would not stir a step without them. When a child is not being constantly urged to walk, it is not infrequent for him to take his first independent steps without knowing it, in his eagerness to get something that he wants. But as soon as he realizes that he is going alone, while he may be very proud of himself, he promptly falls, and may not try again for sonic days or even weeks. Then suddenly he walks alone again, and each day makes large gains, Q 226 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK until, in a week or so, walking is preferred to any other mode of locomotion. DATE OF WALKING As to the age when children first walk alone, accounts vary, and undoubtedly perfectly normal children vary also. Mrs. Hall reports that her boy stood alone for a minute in his thirty-eighth week, and in the forty-eighth pulled himself to a chair and stood for five minutes. Preyer's boy walked in the sixty-eighth week, and others, whose records have been kept, walked at the twelfth month, the thirtieth, and even the thirty- sixth month! In teaching the baby to walk, we have, of course, to lend him every intelligent assistance in our power. We want to save him falls as much as we can without interfering with his freedom of experiment ; but we do not want to urge him to walk before he is entirely ready. If he has betrayed any delicacy, it is better even to check this activity than to stimulate it. If, for example, he has not got his teeth properly, THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 227 or if he got them very much too soon ; if he is undersized and below the normal weight, it will not do to allow him to walk even so soon as he wants to himself. This is because his bones have evidently not been growing as they should. There has been some failure of nutri- tion ; and walking under these circumstances may lead to bowlegs and knock-knees. Ex- tremely fat and heavy babies, too, ought to be checked somewhat, if the fat is soft and the skin pale. But if, on the other hand, the child is obviously full of vigor, with a good color, and four teeth, he may well be encouraged to do as much walking as he likes, even though he be pretty heavy. The new exercise will of itself tend to reduce the unnecessary amount of fat. Some writers say that no one need be worried over the baby's failure to walk before he is three years old, but I should myself take alarm if he did not walk by the time he was two years old, especially if his general health showed any signs of being below par. There is no harm in consulting a doctor in regard to the baby's 228 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK condition, and it may be that the retarded de- velopment is due to some unsuspected weakness which calls for remedies and extra care. IRREGULAR ADVANCE It must not be supposed, however, that growth in the ability to walk proceeds in a perfectly even fashion from standing alone to complete mastery of legs and back. On the contrary, it is almost always more or less irregu- lar. It may be interrupted by the acquisition of speech, as we have found that the acquisition of speech may be interrupted by the effort at walking. Or any strong absorbing interest may put a stop to it temporarily. Sometimes it stops for no apparent reason. Perhaps it may be that the child's store of nervous energy has been overdrawn, and a rest is required before he lays up enough more to start him going again. We do not need to worry about any of these fluctuations ; but we will, of course, watch every possible symptom of approaching trouble. We will notice whether the child is languid, whether THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 229 he hangs his head and droops, whether he eats well and sleeps well. If any of these signs appear, we shall take him to a doctor, for some childish disease may be impending which early care may avert. But if, on the other hand, he seems perfectly cheerful and well, but simply does not get ahead with his walking, we shall know that he is taking a well-earned rest, and we will not trouble ourselves further about the change in him. Probably, when he takes to walking again, he will surprise us by his rapid progress. CHAPTER XIII SUMMARY OF THE YEAR'S ACCOMPLISH- MENTS LEARNING TO TALK Now that the first year of life is completed, let us look back and see what the baby has accomplished. First we will take up the matter of speech. We have found that in the beginning our youngster merely babbled without any atten- tion or significance. These babblings were just a sort of gymnastics of the vocal organs. He seemed to do it only because he could. Yet even in these almost unconscious sounds we have been able to trace the steady develop- ment of his intellectual powers. For a while at first he uttered only vowel sounds, yet later to these he joined consonants in their order of difficulty, thus making syllables. Having once 230 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 231 found out how to make a syllable, he repeated it, thus making such combinations as " ma-ma," "pa-pa," "a-goo," and many others. Although we have agreed to consider some of these duplica- tions, such as "ma-ma" and "pa-pa," as actual words, uttered with intention, they are not so in reality when the baby first utters them. But as soon as he makes these sounds those about him begin to speak them, too, and to urge him to repeat them by imitation. This is a long step in advance of the original aimless utterance, and it is a long time before the baby is able to accomplish it. As soon as he does he has be- come to a certain extent conscious master of the elements of speech. ASSOCIATION OF SOUNDS AND IDEAS The next step is that he learns to associate certain sounds with certain acts or objects. He does this by means of constant repetition. For instance, his mother calls herself mam ma, is pointed to as mamma, and is called by every one mamma ; and by and by this first, easiest- 232 THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK uttered word becomes attached to the idea of mother, and, as Buckman points out, is made to cover the whole idea of the person who re- lieves hunger, or pain, or even the relief itself. With most children the first word is "mamma," and the next, oddly enough, is " kra " or " ka- ka," uttered with a sort of a guttural snarl and a disgusted raising of the upper lip. It is used to express disgust, and as such appears in a num- ber of languages as a root word. In Greek, for instance, the word kakos means bad. " da- da" is another early word. It seems to mean " there-there," and signifies pointing out some object and delighting in it. For this reason, perhaps, some adopt it as the word for father, calling him "daddy." " Na-na," another early word, stands for protest and refusal, and in this sense it may be found in almost every language. It is, of course, our own word " no." FIRST SOUNDS Verbs predominate with young babies and with primitive peoples. This is because they signify THE MOTHER'S YEAR-BOOK 233 actions, and action is the chief thing desired. Probably the first sentences consisted of one word each. During this first year all the vowels appear, the consonants coming later, according to the order of the difficulty. Tracy says that the order of the appearance of letters is as follows : by py my ky dy Wy Oy ky cc P rogress oi the Month). 255 256 INDEX Diapers changing, 7. number of, 6. Discipline, 89. Discomfort after birth, 16. causes of, 34. signs of, 36, 73. Discontent causes of, 75. Distance sense of, 108. Draughts, 153. Dressing the baby first time, 11. Ear condition at birth, 13. Emotions child's expression of, 131. mother's — effect of, on child, 137. Eyes care of, at birth, 249. condition of, at birth, 13. fixation of, 79. motions of, 55, 56. Falling objects, 199. Fear, 181. as an obstacle to walking, 224. toward strangers, 133. Feelings unpleasant, 16. Fire teaching fear of, 66. Food artificial, 51. amount of, 71, 81. for nursing mother, 45, 46. for weanling, 215. testing suitability, 52. times of giving at 1 month, 25. times of giving at 3 months, 76. unaccustomed, 121. Fresh air effect on mother's milk, 46. Fruits and vegetables, 218. Gesture first language, 184. limitation of, 185. Grasping at 3 months, 69. at 4 months, 97. immediately after birth, 14. Hair-pulling, 105. Hammock or cradle, 18. out of doors in summer, 119. Hand relation to brain, 60, 61, 63. Head holding it up, 80, 95. raising it, 57. shape of, at birth, 13. Hearing at birth, 38. at 2 months, 56. Hiccough, 76. Hunger signs of, 54. "I" feeling consciousness of self, 82. Imitation, 96. Imitative sounds, 188. Individuality a struggle for, 155. Inhibition impossible at 3 months, 65. Insensitive areas, 35. Interests (outside), 106. Interruption of the baby's play, 157. Kiss baby learns to, 160. INDEX 257 Laughter at 1 month, 37. true, 160. Layette, 4. Learning to speak, 190. Massage, 115. Memory, 146. Milk aniseed tea, 47. care of baby's milk, 120. chemical imitation of mother's milk, 44. modified, for babies, 51. mother's, how to increase flow, 45- Motion expressive, 179. reflex, 205. voluntary, at 3 months, 77. Mouth as a general receptacle and sense organ, 109. Movements of the eyes at 1 month, 37. at 2 months, 56. at 3 months, 79. Muscles activity of, 115. Napkins, 6. Nausea, 75. Navel dressing, 11. silk for tying, 4. Negative commands, 65. New-born baby, 1. Night air, 151. Night care, 7. Nipples artificial, no. Noises interest in, to6. sensitive to, 1 7S. Nose at birth, 12. later, 144. Nursing complete, 26. frequency of, 25. night, 27, 46. Oatmeal water, 50. Obedience impossibility of, 65. Oil rub after birth, 9. Outfit see Layette. Outside interests, 106. Pain cry of, 54, 148. Playing with the baby, 91. Playthings, 124, 126. Pleasure signs of, 36. Precocity, 191, 205. Prenatal impressions, 136. Preparation for the baby's ad- vent, 2. Prickly heat, 123. Progress of the Month 1 month old, t,^. 2 months old, 53. 3 months old, 71. 4 months old, 92. 5 months old, 116. 6 months old, 130. 7 months old, [43. 8 months old, 158. q months old, 1 77. 10 months old, 100. 1 year old, Punishment for anger, 196. Putting baby to sleep, re. 258 INDEX Records value of average, 72. Rocking to sleep, 19. Satisfaction signs of, 73. Scratching, 104. Screens, 152. Self-control, 204. Sensations unpleasant, 16. Sensitiveness to temperature, 148. Shoes for creeping, 174. Sighs, 145. Sight at 2 months, 55. Singing to sleep, 20. Sitting up against pillow at 3 months old, 79. device to help baby sit up alone, 94. in bath, 206. on mother's lap, 94. Skull condition at birth, 13. Sleep at 2 months, 58. at 3 months, 76. at 4 months, 99. at 5 months, 117. at 6 months, 134. Smell sense of, 39. Smiles, 53. Soothers see Artificial Nipples. Sounds imitative, 188. Spatting hands, 65, 196. Speech development of — at 3 months, 83. at 4 months, 98. at 6 months, 134. at 7 months, 147. at 8 months, 162. at 9 months, 180. at 10 months, 187, 207. at 1 year, 230. flexibility of speech organs, 2 33- Squint, 37, 56. Standing alone, 183. Sterilizing bottles and nipples, 121. Strangers astonishment at, 133. fear of, 133. Sucking fist, 59. Suffocation helpless against, at 3 months, 78. Suggestibility greatest at waking and going to sleep, 21. Swinging cradle or hammock, 19. Tantrums, 194. Tearing paper, 103, 204. Tears, 53. Teeth, 209. the first tooth, 140. upper front teeth, 183. Temper causes of, 192. cures for, 199. is it true temper, 192? Temperature of bottle, 150. of cradle, 17. of first bath, 9. of room at birth, 8. Thumb-sucking, 113. Touch at 2 months, 55. importance of, 64. sense of, 115. INDEX *S9 Toys, 124. Water for the bath, 129. drink of, for baby, Weaning, 210. Vomiting, 75. time of, 220. Weight at birth, 12. Walking 1 month old, 40. date of, 226. 2 months old, 58. learning to, 189, 207, 222. 3 months old, 81. with the baby, 21. 4 months old, 100. Warmth 5 months old, 117. and growth, 18. 6 months old, 134. first great necessity for new- 9 months old, 183. born, 11. 10 months old, 209. 27. MAY 11 J908