4 o Aw> : °o /.>^\ ^^fe°- jf'rtBk^ -^ ***** HEOLL F*er a Spirit>Me®»age Therefrom (Alleged) BY John Armstrong Chaloner, A. B., A. M Member of the Bar. MEDIUM Author of "Scorpio" — "Pieces of Eight" — "Jupiter Tonans," etc. A. Study in Graphic^Automatiam PALMETTO PRESS Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina *°w Copyright, 1917, By JOHN ARMSTRONG CHALONER. Printed by E. R. LAFFERTY, Richmond, Va. / OCT-45 1317 ©r.:. A 477 04 INTRODUCTION. The impulse to spiritualism given by the Great War and the appalling- slaughter following in its train, induced the writer to follow the suggestion given in a review of "Heir' — found at the rear of this book — appearing in the San Fran- cisco, California, Chronicle. August 6th, 1912 — "Hell** having been written and sent to the reviewers in that year — whereas '"The Infernal Comedy." its sequel, has only just been com- pleted, as follows: -A NEW VISIOX OF FIELL. 2sOT A BAD SORT OF PLACE AT ALL, ACCORDING TO MR. CHALONER. It might be more reassuring for those interested in know- ing what sort of a place is reserved for the wicked after death if John Armstrong Chaloner had been permitted to describe more than merely the Audience Chamber of his Satanic Majesty. The picture which he gives us of this room. with its walls of rubies, diamonds and sapphires, is attractive enough, yet doubt is allowed to linger as to the furnishings and other appurtenances of the living-rooms of the transient and permanent guests. * * * It is disappointing not to be told more about this interesting place. The glimpse into the Audience Chamber, with Satan presiding and looking like Napoleon Bonaparte at the apex of his power, cries out for another and completer picture. But. perhaps Mr. Chaloner intends to give us this in time, even if he has to o- there for it." Upon this hint the writer spake, with the result that one hundred sonnets form Canto One of 'The Infernal Comedy." The interest of the Californian reviewer would be amply satisfied were he permitted to peruse said Canto One. But at present that satisfaction is denied him, for the reason that this work is brought out in Great Britain before being submitted to the reviewers in the United States, for the rea- son that no such interest — as yet — in the other world exists in the latter country, as. for the reason stated above, is to be found in Great Britain today. Before the Great War is over there will be ample reason for American interest in the life beyond the grave — the writer fixing 1919 as the earliest possible date for the termination of the titanic struggle. In conclusion. The writer is a member of the Church of England and a devout believer in all that Church's tenets. He does not. for one moment, doubt the Divine Wisdom dis- played by the Founder of Christianity in dropping an im- penetrable veil over the future life. When analysed, the two statements of Jesus Christ relative to Paradise are soul- sufheing. What could be stronger than: "Thou shalt be satis- fied." And when — as though to gild refined gold and paint the lily — He adds: "It hath not entered into the heart of man to conceive the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him" — the measure is indeed "heaped up. pressed down, and running over." At the same time, Mahomet — beyond the shadow of a doubt — added something to his schedule of salvation, which carried more weight with it — by way of overcoming the nat- ural dread and horror of death — than did the Founder of Christianity. This is said in the most reverent spirit. This is said in a spirit of the most humble approbation for the attitude as- sumed by Jesus Christ in that regard — an attitude commen- surate in hopelessness of penetration with the awful pall hung in the Old Testament before Jehovah — commensurate with ''The ways of God are past finding out." And the writer would snrmk from even allegedly, even hypothetically lifting even the remotest fringe of a veil specifically set in place by Jesus Christ. But since the alleged revelations — in "Hell" and "The Infernal Comedy" — of the delights — as well as the terrific and soul-chilling tortures of the "Place of departed Spirits" — of Hell, in a word — rouse an interest — to put it somewhat mildly — in the heart of a man who under- stands the meaning of the word love, as well as the meat*- ing of the word war — and therefore do something commen- surate — to say the least — with what the Koran did in the hearts of the millions of its devoted followers — the writer launches "Hell" and "The Infernal Comedy" for what it is worth — upon the troublous sea of literature. JOHN ARMSTEONG CHALONER, "The Merry Mills," Cobham, Albemarle County. May 28, 1917. Virginia. DEDICATION. The names of: Dante Alighieri, author of "The Divine Comedy,*' containing the "Inferno" (1265-1321) ; John Mil- ton, author of "Paradise Lost*' (1608-1671) ; and John Bun- Tan, author of "Pilgrim's Progress'* (1628-1688) : are here printed, as the undersigned's illustrious predecessors in this dread domain. Johx Armstrong Chaloxer. FOREWORD JOHN ARMSTRONG CHALONER GIVES VIEWS TO THE PRESS. Talks With "Spirits" on Hades. (Washington Post, August 5, 1912.) "All dead game sports enjoy it in hell." — Message to John Armstrong Chaloner, dated Hell, Tuesday, 6:22 A. M. July 31, 1912. John Armstrong Chaloner, in the presence of a number of representatives of the press, who met him by invitation at Alexandria, Virginia, went into an interesting dis- cussion of his psychological researches, and read to his audience an interview which he said he had had at "Merry Mills" recently through his "subconsciousness" with an old friend, who, according to his chat with the spirit world, is now sojourning in Hades. Mr. Chaloner calls his subcon- sciousness his "X-Faculty," and stated while in communica- tion with the other side he lies on his back in the dark, with a pad and pencil convenient, and as soon as he is in com- munication with "the decedent" an unknown force — as is the case with "Planchette" — guides his hand. Before reading his interview with his departed friend Mr. Chaloner declared that he did not believe a "d — d word of it." He stated, however, that several years ago he became aware of the existence of this subconscious faculty, and be- lieved that some one had a message for him. At that time, he said, he was too busy with his legal matters and thought no more of it until recently, when he made several efforts to renew the contact, finally meeting with success. Very Much Like Xapoleox. | Mr. Chaloner gave a graphic description of his entry into the semihypnotic state, and said that he gasped for folly five minutes, meanwhile, he had been told, his features taking on a striking likeness of Xapoleon. Mr. Chaloner gave the name of his old friend, and stated that he was a noncom- missioned officer in the Confederate navy. He said they had been members of the same clubs in Xew York and a strong friendship had existed between them, though the other was many years older than himself, dying at the age of 80. Through his '•X-Faculty,*' and ''automatic writing," Mr. Chaloner received from his friend a most encouraging re- port of the hereafter, though to a spiritualist who was pres- ent he declared that he did not believe in spiritualism. "I am an Episcopalian," he said. "I believe in a future state, but I don't know anything about it." Mr. Chaloner arrived at his appointment promptly at 4 o'clock and announced his name, though he was easily recog- nized. He wore a blue serge suit, white stock, with a pearl scarf pin, tan shoes, and a short tan overcoat. As soon as he had counted noses and asked what papers were represented, lie removed his overcoat, which he placed over his knees and feet, saying that his feet sometimes got cold, but that he never got "cold feet." b Author Has Visiox. "A fiery throne." Upon said throne sits Satan. His fea- tures are precisely those of Xapoleon Bonaparte at the apex of his power. In height he is considerably taller, but yet under 6 feet, and regarding weight there is no surplusage of flesh. He is dressed in the costume of Miehaelangelo r s statue, ; 'The Thinker." The Hall of Audience (Hell) is an immense apartment, so huge as to be practically incomprehensible to mortal ideas of architecture. It is miles long, miles wide, and miles high. The hall is of rubies, and they are of the size of ordi- nary building bricks, and of the luster and fire of rubies known as "pigeon blood." In place of mortar, binding the bricks and making a white line, we have diamonds as large as your thumb nail, and of the purest water. To soften and enrich the fiery effect of such splendor, the diamond line is broken every few inches by several inches of sapphires, as blue as the Mediterranean. The floor is of marble, that lias the marvelous quality of being capable of taking on the tone of whatever stands upon it, or is reflected upon it, or flies over it. If a cherubim flies over the floor, the marble at once becomes tinged with blood. The roof is of cystal, so pure that the eye can pierce it as if it were plate glass." 1 — John Armstrong Chaloner 's description of hell, as recorded by his "subconscious mind," as announced yesterday. John Armstrong Chaloner Gives Interview and Describes Reception Room of His Satanic Majesty. (Washington Herald, August 5, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner, former husband of Amelie Eives and brother of Sheriff Bob Chanler, who married Lina Cavalieri, disclosed yesterday a message that he says he has received from the other world. The message brings news of the physical characteristics of his Satanic majesty and a description of Hades that at least has the merit of being unique. The message received by Chaloner comes, he insists, from Thomas Jefferson Miller, a former Confederate officer, and member of the Manhattan Club of New York City. Chaloner summoned the newspaper correspondents across to the Virginia side of the Potomac. "Last month," said the former husband of Amelie Eives. the novelist, "I picked up a copy of an English illustrated paper and saw therein an account of a supposed spirit com- munication with W. T. Stead, who went down on the Ti- tanic. The statement, while essentially puerile, attracted my attention because the late Prof. William James had informed me at one time that I was a medium, although I do not be- lieve in spiritualism." 10 Message fkom Hell. Chaloner went on to say that lie had summoned his art of "graphic automatism," and had managed to get in touch with the spirit of Thomas Jefferson Miller, with whom he had been friendly when Miller was of this world. "This, 1 ' said Chaloner, was last Tuesday evening, "Miller, or whatever force it was, immediately replied through my hand and wrote a lengthy statement, answering my queries and giving much information in regard to his present abode, which he said was Hell, temporarily." Here the brother-in-law of Lina Cavalieri read a sixteen- page typewritten statement, giving in full the interview with the disembodied spirit. It took eight hours for him to tran- scribe the message, with short intervals for food and sleep. It was mighty exhausting business. According to the message that Chaloner gives to the world, Hell was a very bearable place and one which every- body must pass through. Miller admitted to his former friend that he had been bad enough on earth to merit more punishment than he had received, but considered that his relief was probably due to the fact that he had had "his share of Hell on earth, being a New Yorker with social stand- ing and no money." Satan Resembles Napoleon. The message handed out by Chaloner describes Satan as a man of medium height, whose face is that of Napoleon Bonaparte at the apex of his power, and whose habiliments were those of Michaelangelo's statue, "The Thinker." His Satanic Majesty was seated on a throne in the center of an immense audience chamber. "The Avails of this audience chamber," says the message recorded, "are of rubies. The rubies are the size of ordinary building bricks, and of the luster and fire of rubies known as pigeon blood. In place of mortar binding the bricks and making a white line, we here have diamonds as large as your thumb nail and of the purest water. To soften and enrich the fiery effect of such splendor, the diamond line is broken 11 every few inches by several inches of sapphires, as blue as the Mediterranean. The floor of the hall is of marble, that has the marvelous quality of being capable of taking on the color of whatever stands upon or flies over it. Thus, if a cherubim flies over the floor space, the marble at once becomes tinged with reel. If, on the other hand, a seraphim crosses the space, the marble at once becomes of a cerulean blue, like an Italian sky. The marble takes on these colors from the armor and vestments of the mighty angels, which are scarlet and blue, respectively." Bloodhounds Spoil Dream. At this point, the message was interrupted by the baying of Mr. Chaloner's bloodhounds outside, who, he thinks, sensed the subconscious communication. However, the roof, Chal- oner learned, is of crystal, so pure that the eye can pierce it. At the end of the message, Chaloner himself records the following notes: "Knocked off for breakfast. Bread and water." Mr. Chaloner anticipated his coming from near Cobham, Va., by writing a letter to the Washington correspondents and others, in which he told them of a conversation he had held with Miller, who had spoken to him in the early hours of the morning of July 31st last, from Hell, and of conversa- tions which they had had in the Manhattan Club. This, he said, had convinced him that he could communicate with the dead while in a "Napoleonic" death trance. Chaloner Beads Statement. This statement was read by Mr. Chaloner, and was a most remarkable affair. It embraced twelve and a fraction type- written pages. Mr. Chaloner stated that he wrote it in long hand while in a state of subconsciousness. He declared that "he did not believe a damn word of it," after he had com- pleted its reading. Arriving at the office of the Alexandria Gazette building at a few minutes after 4 o'clock, Mr. Chaloner took exactly two hours and twenty minutes to tell his story to the scribes. 12 The story of his alleged conversation with a deceased friend while in a state of subconsciousness was related after he had gotten through his other talk. Wears Plain Clothes. As soon as Mr. Chaloner reached the office in a carriage from the union railway station, he entered and announced himself. Mr. Chaloner talked with vim and at times he empha- sized his remarks upon his auditors by clapping his hands together. Mr. Chaloner, for a millionaire, was not clad very pomp- ously, wearing but plain clothing. He wore a blue serge coat and waistcoat, and dark trousers, and carried with him a light overcoat with velvet collar, and he also had rubbers in a small suit case, the latter containing books which he has written. The nature of some of these books was explained by him during the course of the interview. In addition to the newspaper men was Prof. Helmut P. Holler, President of the Washington Psychological Society, who had a conference with Mr. Chaloner. At the conclusion of his interview Mr. Chaloner left for Eichmond. Chaloxer's Descriptiox of Hell. "The walls are of rubies of the size of ordinary building bricks, and of the luster and fire of rubies known as pigeon blood. In place of mortar binding the bricks and making a white line, we have diamonds as large as your thumb-nail and of the purest water. To soften and enrich the fiery effect of such splendor the diamond line is broken every few inches by sapphires as blue as the Mediterranean. The floor of the hall is of marble that has the marvelous quality of being ca- pable of taking on color of whatever stands upon or flies over it. Thus, if a cherubim flies over the floor space, the marble at once becomes tinged with red. If, on the other hand, a seraphim crosses the space, the marble at once be- comes of a cerulean blue, like an Italian sky. The marble takes on the colors from the armor and vestments of the mighty angels, which are scarlet and blue, respectively.'* 13 JOHN ARMSTRONG CHALONER MEETS NEWS- PAPER MEN. (Richmond Times-Dispatch, August 5, 1912.) Alexandria, Ya., August 4. — Coming here to-day for the special purpose of making a statement to newspaper men, a number of whom came from Washington and elsewhere, to meet him, John Armstrong Chaloner, of Merry Mills, who had anticipated his coming by writing a letter to the Wash- ington correspondents and others, told them of a conversa- tion he had held with a deceased New York friend, who {had spoken to him in the early hours of the morning of July 31 last from hell and who had recalled certain conversations they had had in the Manhattan Club. This, he said, had con- vinced him that he could communicate with the dead while in a "Napoleonic death trance." He graphically described his apparent death struggles while in his "sub- conscious trance," in which he assumed the lifelike features of Napo- leon Bonaparte, Hell Brought Down to Date. Alexandria, Va., August 4. — Hell isn't a half bad place, according to a friend of John Armstrong Chaloner. This friend, long a resident of the region which Dante once so graphically described, has now supplemented the observations! of the famous Florentine poet and brought Hell data strictly down to date in a spirit message to Mr. Chaloner, which the latter received by the subconsciousness, which is one of his claims to distinction. While Hell was Hell for a time, the friend of the author says he has "paid the piper" and is now free from torment. Mr. Chaloner prefaced his remarks with a statement that he "didn't believe a d — d word of it." Satan, according to the spirit message, resembles Napoleon in personal appear- ance and holds his court in an audience room "miles long, miles wide and miles high, built of rubies the size of ordinary building bricks." 14 COPY OF LETTER ADDRESSED TO A SCORE OR SO OF THE MEMBERS OF THE FEE-- OF WASHINGTON, D. C. ^ \e I -.. "The Merry Mi Cobham. Virgin: . August 2, 1912. Deab Sbb : q the 25th of Last month I happened : pick up an "Illustrated London News" of June 15th last, and saw under the headline "Science Jottings." by An . - : eming reputed — to cite — "So-called spiritualistic com- munication:? purporting to emanate from the late Mr. W. T. Stes 1. who perished on the •Titanic.' The result, as usual h - eeu ". What has aen done is that certain 'mediums* professed to put themselves in communication with the de- : sed journalist. In their sup] sed trance-state I that they received mess ges 1 >m him. Anything more puer- ile than the supposed communications it has never been my lot to peruse. Mr. Stea 1 is reported to have told hi^ friends that he was quite free, bin not yet attuned to the easy and perfect sendings of messages. Later on it w would improve in th> It is tolerably certain the vast bulk of us have not so far L: - _ r rip of commoD- sense as to accept such rubbish as evidence of another world's exi-tence. Ha* there lent - which has laid before . - - - ^ruth ted ~ : ~ ft B. ■ •.'■'-' - j -hit all of m a Q, 9 to I - — ] - " f thaz afterstati . go pron inent a / faith You have ignorant person* i publishing forth their ability to communicate with the spirits of | 15 who have gone before, and making a travesty of certain of the most sacred of our emotions and beliefs. Well may a writer in scathing terms speak of these people to whom death has no sacredness, and who treat the great mysteries of the universe as if they were trivialities of the first order: 'But when we come to real instruction, reliable information, or profitable or valuable knowledge, Spiritualism is as barren as Sahara, as empty as a hollow gourd.' We are reminded of the Mrs. Pipers, and other mediums whose performances, wonderful certainly, are still enveloped in a kind of mental fog. At the very best. I repeat, neither Mrs. Piper nor any other medium has ever shed any light on any of the great problems of the after-state, such as humanity has day by day to face." (Signed) Andrew Wilson. As far back as October 10th, 1901, Professor William James, of Harvard, (now deceased), pronounced me a med- ium, and went on to say. "but whereas most mediums prompt- ly adopt the theory current in spiritualistic circles, Mr. Chal- oner prepossessed against that hypothesis, appears to have set to work systematically, and, as would appear form his narra- tive" (by which "narrative" is meant a letter from me to- gether with certain specimens of graphic automatism — auto- matic writing — made by me in a trance-like state, and sub- mitted to him by mail for his opinion on said trance-writ- ings) "critically, to explore them and determine their sig- nificance for himself. In this attempt he seems to me to de- serve nothing but praise. Psychology would be more ad- vanced, were there more subjects of Automatism (medium- ship) ready to explore carefully their eccentric faculty." Since Professor James, who, by the way, besides being Professor of Psychology at Harvard, was also a member of the medical profession — having taken his M. D. degree at Har- vard in 1870 — practically discovered Mrs. Piper, the well- known medium aforesaid, of Boston, and also discovered your humble servant as a medium — vjho doesnH believe in Spirit- ualism, however, — as shown above, and since so well known a scientific writer as Andrew Wilson, who for years has han- dled the scientific column for so great a paper as the "Illus- trated London News" speaks favorably of said Mrs. Piper as 16 a medium, therefore it is not a far err to infer that I am "some punkins** of a medium myself — to put it somewhat jocularly. Such being the case it occurred to me — after read- ing said article in the "Illustrated London Xews** — th might not be a bad idea to follow up a lead I had got from my **X-Faeulty*" — my term for the Sub-consciousness — some rs ago. when experimenting in Experimental Psychology by means of Vocal Automatism. Said lead or tip was noth- ing less than an alleged "spirit-message." is Andrew W5 calls it in said article, from a deceased friend of mine, who had died a few years previously. Said ~ irit-message** was ft rtting : a degree: and left strictly nothing to be desired regarding an alleged revelation of life beyond the grave. S deceased friend was about 80 years old at the time of his de- mise and a prominent member, at said time, of a prominent Xew York Club. He was my oldest and best friend. I had never suggested his communicating with me in the event of his death before mine for the excellent reason that I did not think such a thing possible. Imagine then my surprise upon receiving per Vocal Au- tomatism, while in a trance-like state — in which state I have for over fifteen years carried on it ; :_ us in Experi- mental Psychology — imagine my surprise upon getting a so- to-speak wireless message from E 7 jt that was where my friend said he was at said time. I shall not attempt to picture my surprise: lei if - 3ee : say that my scientific curiosity was piqued. Mr. ^filler, for that is his name, went on to say that he knew that I wouldn't believe him. but that, nevertheless, he was in Hell, and had had rather a warm time of it for some years past — to put it rather mildly — that the orthodox claims about Hell are strictly accurate and minutely correct — except that said claims fail to give a proper estimate of the heat and torture in vogue down there. He concluded by saving that his head was bandaged — at said time of communication — from the wounds he had received at his torture. That he :hankful to say he had "paid the piper** during the years . »ny he had spent in Hell, and was now free for all time from torment. At said time I was engrossed in legal work, and did not 17 Lave time to repeat said experiment in Experimental Psy- chology. I left it alone for years. Not till a few days ago when I read said article by Andrew Wilson did it again occur to me to resume the experiment. Andrew Wilson's article proves that there is a public in- ternational demand for such an experiment as I proposed with the alleged spirit of the deceased Mr. Miller. I. therefore, a few hours ago, attempted to reopen com- munication with Mr. Miller. This time, since Vocal Auto- matism is much more fatiguing to operate than Graphic Auto- matism — I decided to employ the latter ; and as a result, hare about sixteen pages of legal cap filled with automatic writing from the alleged spirit of my departed friend. I propose to let you. and the other Members of the Press of Washington, not all, by any means, but a selected group, see the first page of above automatic writing, and have as much of the typed contents of said sixteen-page alleged com- munication from Hell — about ten pages of typewriting — as you care to take down, as I read it off from my signed typed statement, at seven oVlock next Sunday, the 4th August, at Fleischmamrs Hotel, Alexandria. Very truly yours, ' JOHX ARMSTRONG CHALOXER. P. S. — In putting "release by wire," at the top of this letter, I mean that you gentlemen may release the story upon seeing me at seven next Sunday evening. IS HELL CHAPTER I THE CALL OF HELL (Richmond Virginian, August 12, 1912.) CHALONER TAKES TRIP INTO HADES, TALKS TO FRIEND. While in MecUumistic Trance Receives Message From World Beyond. HE, HIMSELF, DOES NOT BELIEVE A WORD. Warned by Friend Against Scoffing, He Gives it Out for What it is Worth. With the sensational announcement that he had recently held converse with the spirit of a departed friend, now in Hell, and that he was prepared to give to the world some in- sight into the conditions existing in that unknown realm, John Armstrong Chaloner yesterday gave to the Virginian the prepared interview with which he startled the coterie of newspaper men whom he had invited to meet him yesterday afternoon at Alexandria in order that he might outline the nature of the campaign to which he proposes to devote his life and fortune. Mr. Chaloner very gravely sprang the unexpected sensa- tion. The alleged message from the spirit world was trans- mitted by automatism to him while in an involuntary med- iumistic trance a few nights ago. The spirit which estab- lished communication with him was that of Thomas Jefferson Miller, once a non-commissioned officer in the Confederate 19 navy, a member of the Manhattan Club, New York, and a personal and club friend of Mr. Chaloner. Mr. Chaloner explained that he was an "O. K. medium," so pronounced by the late Professor James and others, and at the same time he was an unbeliever in and a scoffer at spiritualism; in short, that his sub-consciousness, or X-Fac- ulty, as he terms it — held communication with spirits againsv his will. He said that the spirit of his old friend Miller had held converse with him five years ago, and he took iu- notes of the message because of his absolute lack of faith u> spiritualism. He has no more faith now than he had then, but he stated his belief that the "alleged spirit message," as he termed it, should be given to the world on its merits. Doesn't Beqlieve It. Mr. Chaloner vigorously impressed two points — first that "he didn't believe a d — d word of it," himself, second that he did not invent the communication consciously. He de- clared that the message from the spirit of Miller was trans- mitted to him as he lay in a sub-conscious state in his bed- room at "Merry Mills" the night of July 31st. With a pencil in his hand — as is the case with "PJanchette" — guided by un- known, unseen forces, his own hand wrote, without his con- scious direction, the communication on an ordinary yellow tablet as his decedent friend, Miller, dictated it. He lay in this trance, or sub-conscious state, for a period, with some intermissions, covering the night of July 31st and the greater part of the next day, the mysterious power guiding his hand, dictating through him to the world the decedent's message. "I want you to understand — and my veracity has never been called into question — that I did not invent this yarn consciously, nor do I believe a d — d word of it. I do believe that my sub-conscious self, my X-Faculty, did invent it in the guise of the spirit of Miller." Mr. Chaloner then read to the gasping correspondents the alleged spirit message from his late friend, Miller. The mes- sage in full, follows, the paragraphs in parenthesis repre- senting the remarks of Chaloner, and those not in parenthe- sis being the conversation of the spirit : - 7::: Ml - Merry 1 [ills,' 5 22 P. M. bedrc hd . "- - I should like ; :f Thomas Jeffers n Millei if the same is | sible an I . X-7 mlty . You :ir^:: : r_::: this until da::. •ulty . 141M Y q are to begin the inquii y int the sb te f the lej rted. J- - ~__ V are : ask Tn Jeffei s n Millei : speak to you hi ugh i X-F lv. ay thanks . (Uncle Tom, I should like tc speak a if sai ssible and permitted. Hell 1 ly dear bo^. 14 A 1 know how happy I am "-'"_-':_ that the hour has it last struck in which I am emitted by his S i b ni i _ I: J r-:~ — Foi Jod's safe y well exclaim, I repeat, by his Sat to lift rnei >f the veil which separates the living from the dead. Before going further I shall briefly cur last eon^ f some years ago after supper in om here by means >f vocal autoi:: your vocal organs — th t is t — in : : speak t you. You i P-::: tly. But you were - . rosse 1 in Leg d w : - skepl - : — : being a spiritual:-: — the episode made no in:" to S] :k of on your over- bed mind. You will i T had just em That is to I inf< : was udaged as to i e. on account of the v torture. I then briefly 3 21 ihat there is a hereafter ; that Jesus Christ was not lying when He spoke of hell fire ; and that the Roman Catholic church is correct in its statement that there is a Purgatory. I then went on to say that I have had a very mild torture compared to many other persons in my walk of life: largely because I happened to be a truthful and moderately honest man by na- ture, and also largely because I had my share of hell while •>n earth in being a New Yorker of social standing, but no money; no profession — in times of peace, at least — and being ever since you knew me in 1887 an old gray headed man. You will remember also that I hinted at a state of affairs below decks — as we said in the navy — that was marvellously inter- esting, unutterably lovely, but unspeakably terrible, awful and Hellish. (Perfectly.) I started to sketch my experience, but you grew tired at the strain on your scientific credulity, got sleepy, and bid me good night. (Yes.) Still Incredulous. Well, my dear boy, you are still quite as incredulous, but since I now employ automatic writing, for the first time, by the way, as the means of communicating, the strain on your nerves is so much less than under the trance-like state in which vocal automatism is possible that I have no fear of your growing sleepy to-night, especially as the night is young. (Pray have no fear, my dear Uncle Tom, if Uncle Tom you are, which I'm d — d if I believe, pray have no fear of my sleepiness to-night. For skeptical as I am, I am for years a student of experimental psychology, and as such am always interested in the performances with the pencil of what the late Professor William James termed — if I remember rightly — my "eccentric faculty." Therefore proceed, my dear Uncle Tom.) I like your fine airs, my dear Archie (Chaloner), but I'll ruffle that smooth spirit of yours slightly or my name's not Thomas Jefferson Miller, before I've done communicating with you to-night. __ (I doubt it. Uncle Tom. I doubt it It takes the Hell of a lot to ruffle my spirit after fifteen years of Hell on if : he hands of the New York courts, Si and National.) Admitted, my dear Arehie. but ruffle it I shall. So here goes. I shall preface my play with a curtain raiser to pro- tect you and myself from the ribald comments of a mo: iess vulgar and damnably wicked and dull world. (Pray proceed.) The first thought that would enter the head of the aver- age mortal on perusing these pages would be something like this: "What on earth is this I see. On what grounds does John Armstrong Chaloner claim — or allow rather his consciousness to claim — that he. above all men now living or that ever have lived, is the repository of a secret the whole world has been baffled at unearthing?** To which I now reply. (1) You are a medium on tLr - - of no less a per- sonage than the late Professor William James. (2) Pro- fessor James went on to say that you were opposed to a be- lief in spiritualism. (3) So much for your being physically attuned to catch the so-to-speak wireless message from the I ud. Now for other reasons You have injured no man r oman you ever knew or didn't know. Your reputation in your bailiwick of Albemarle county, . - well as Ha count N. .. and particularly the manufacturing i were instrumental in building, namely. Roanoke Rapids that county, is to befriend the friendless. Y u are becoming somewhat flattering, my dear I T ::/.. ud as such I doubt you even stronger than befon IMaettk to Science. Let _ : that. Archie, but give ear. my boy. _ Briefly I shall conclude why you are allowed what no human being of eithei as ever been allowed before. You are a martyr to science. : :ience of Psychology, and have been for fif: its s ; n:e March 13th last. "1. what of it ? There have been martyrs I the s : 1 not one of them has had such a palpable "frame-up" "put across'" : s your preposterou- tion that you are about to afford me a peep at Hell. ) 23 Admitted. But, you see, Archie, that said other scien- tists were not martyrs to a science which dealt with Psy- chology and all that misunderstood word implies. Psy- chology means the study of the soul as the Greeks who invent- ed the study taught — as Socrates, Pythagoras and Plato for instance. Hence your martyrdom will bear the peculiar fruit of knowledge that has been hidden from the world from the creation thereof, because you had the ineffable fortune to be first born a medium, second educated an Episcopalian, and third, trained as a scientist; after having been trained as a Bachelor and Master of Arts and member of the bar. (I hope, my dear Uncle Tom, that you will cut the above short by raising the curtain on Hell.) I shall. As I began, his Satanic Majesty has been gra- ciously pleased to permit me to communicate with jou to- night. I am permitted to exercise what you are pleased to term your X-Faculty or unknown faculty of the mind to practically an unlimited extent in a strictly limited sphere of information. By which I mean that the subject is so vast and the spheres of information so various that although I may and can touch on several spheres of information, I am limited to them and they — in comparison with the number of said spheres — constitute a limited sphere. I shall plunge in m&dicES res as Julius Caesar hath it. I shall conduct you to the Hall of Audience. By this I mean that I myself shall at once be there and from there report to you all I see and hear. Talk Up to Milton. (Now, my dear Uncle Tom, you are talking. Talk up to Milton's Satan throned in Hell — "High on a throne of royal state which far, outshone the wealth of Ormus and of Ind, or where the gorgeous East with lavish hand showers on her kings barbaric pearl and gold, Satan exalted sat, by merit raised to that bad eminence" — I quote from memory — falk up to that in prose, of course, and I shall arise and call you blessed — although you are in Hell — alleged.) Now, my dear boy, you must pardon my frankness but if this seance is to continue you must pointedly cease jeering at my claims, or I shall cease to communicate. 24 (A thousand pardons. I shall not utter another peep.) So far so good. What I am about to communicate is for your ear alone. You are not to allow anyone to see what follows so you must put it on another sheet of paper, leaving space here for me to begin again when I have less esoteric matter to divulge. (Very well.) (At this point Mr. Cha loner says the spirit of Miller gave him a confidential message which he cannot disclose.) I shall now continue my communication. You must know that I am now in the Hall of Audience of Hell. I am standing against the wall on the right side of the hall look- ing towards the fiery throne. Upon said throne sits Satan. Satan Looks Like Napoleon. What I am about to divulge will astound, possibly hor- rify you. His features are precisely those of Napoleon Bona- parte at the apex of his power. (You do astound me. Professor Sloan of Columbia Uni- versity — professor of history, I believe, says a word in the preface to his history of Napoleon Bonaparte, first edition, in book form — concerning his "His Satanic ending.") In height he is considerably taller, but yet under six feet, and regarding weight there is no surplusage of flesh. He is dressed precisely in the costume of Michaelangelo's statue entitled "The Thinker," placed over the tomb of one of the Medici in Florence, the one sometimes said to suggest Alex- ander the Great of Mace don. (I have seen it in Florence and admired same.) The Hall of Audience is an immense apartment. So huge as to be practically incomprehensible to mortal ideas of ar- chitecture. Let it suffice to say that it is miles long, miles wide, and miles high. (Would I be considered impertinent if I exclaimed, "Well played, Uncle Tom!'*") Not in the least, my dear Archie, not in the slightest de- gree, my boy. To resume. You must not think from this that the proportions are lost in distance, for you must know that when we shed the frail shell of the flesh, and put on the 25 filaments of immortality, the senses become as much more powerful, as much more penetrating, and as much more deli- cate and sensitive, as the incorruptible body is superior to the corruptible. Therefore it is as easy for the eye of an im- mortal to see fifty miles as it is for you — far from near- sighted as you are — to see five hundred feet. (Highly interesting). Having sketched the environment, it remains to describe the material of the building in which the Hall of Audience is situated. The material varies. That of the Hall of Audience is of rubies. (My brace of bloodhounds outside are strongly giving tongue. Might I ask if they, subconsciously, know what you are writing?) Archie, Do Not Jeer. Now. my dear Archie, you may permit me to remind you of your bargain, my boy, not to jeer at my communications. (I apologize.) The rubies are the size of ordinary building bricks, of the lustre and fire of rubies known as "pigeon blood." ^In place of mortar binding the bricks and making a white line, we here have diamonds as large as your thumb-nail and of the purest water. To soften and enrich the fiery effect of such splendor, the diamond line is broken every few inches by several inches of sapphires, as blue as the Mediterranean. The floor of the Hall of Audience is of marble that has the mar- velous quality of being capable of taking on the tone of whatever stands upon it, or is reflected upon it, or flies over it. Thus. If a Cherubim flies over a floor space in the Hall of Audience, the marble at once becomes tinged with blood: as much as though it were of snow, virgin snow, over which blood has been let. If, on the other hand, a Seraphim flies over a floor space in the hall of audience the marble at once becomes of a cerulean hue like an Italian sky. I do not mean, of course, by that that these mighty angels are red, or blue, in color; but that their armor and vestments are scarlet and blue, respectively. The roof is of crystal, so pure that the eye can pierce it - : pierces plate glass with you. To return to the Lord of lere below. Satan is _ ing audience to an embassy from the Kingdom of Sin: which Kingdom is contiguous to I and between which Kingdom and Hell there is pi perpetual war. - \e occasion of the present embassy is a rumo ot about that tr pproacMng its end ? by lean that the f Personified Sin be tores it would have complicated an already sufficiently com- plies ; of affairs among believers. Theref- S d has been employed in the dual role of Jehovah's attorney-*! t all supposedly fair-minded men and women, and sepa: i'old fr- ss; and the role of Personified sin. or Sin s I shall in future name that most dam: 27 being. Otherwise it would have been necessary to draw aside the veil, as I am about to do with you, and divulge things which the world was not sufficiently sophisticated to hear sooner than this epoch of widespread education, invention and business methods the world around. Briefly, Satan is the highest power in heaven after the Trinity. He reigns in Hell but appears in Heaven as he pleases: Satan is a Prince; as has been well said, the Prince of Darkness is a gentleman. He is far more, he is a hero and noble creature, who has been maligned — owing to the circumstances above described — as no other being has been maligned since the beginning of time. You must know that things are far better down here in Hell than is generally supposed. Jehovah is as loving and ten- der-hearted a Being as it is possible for an experienced, high- minded and enlightened mind to conceive. To put it mildly, Jehovah is as all embracing in His sympathy as the "good grey poet," our own Walt Whitman, to whom the prostitute and thief were sister and brother in adversity. That being the case, Jehovah, knowing full well the nature of men and women knew that if He allowed the magnificent facts, that I am about to divulge to you, to get abroad, that the ratio of wickedness to the square mile would be raised to the nth degree, or infinity, throughout the civilized w r orld. World Prepared. In a wordy nobody need try to get to heaven if he or she does not care for that sort of thing. There is a world 'pre- pared for men and women of the tvorld, for men of the world and for loomen of the world. Now this bright spot of subli- mated earthly bliss stripped of all spirituality, and ought but merely formal, more or less perfunctory, religion; but which is as orderly as the best regulated modern society any- where on earth, and as outwardly respectable — but no more so, by the way — this bright realm is under the rule of Satan. This realm is known as the Underworld. This realm is situated far from Hell, and far from the Kingdom of Sin. The Underworld is, and ever will remain, more or less modern. I do not care to go into that to-night more ex- plicitly, interesting as it is, on account of wishing to hurry 28 on with my tale of Joy and Woe. Yes. the cat is out of the bag. for woe there is. and it is of a nature to merit the de- scription, veiled as that is, of Hell by the ghost in Hamlet. For before a person is allowed to make his or her choice a.- to which goal they aim for. Heaven, or the Underworld, or Hell, or the Kingdom of Sin. or. last of all. annihilation. — if said party is mentally indifferent, and lazy, and cares not to work for either of the four said goals — before a candidate is al- lowed to elect which goal he or she will strive for. he. or. she, must, so to speak, "pay the piper." "Vengeance is mine. I will repay." etc.. meant precisely what it says, and to a jot and tittle, debts must be squared. Settle TTith the Captain. After new arrivals in Hell have stepped to the captain's office and settled, then their joy and feasting, and unutter- able delight, begins. It requires higher aims and far greater pains and suffering to aspire to and achieve Paradise — by which I mean any one of the various zones of Heaven — than to aspire to and achieve Hell, though said aspiration is far harder of achievement than the Underworld, or the Kingdom of Sin. Xo party lacking courage, and a certain semi-demi vein of poetry, or romance at least, can aspire to and achieve Hell. So that parties lacking said qualities, or one of them, must content themselves with a choice between the Under- world, the Kingdom of Sin. or annihilation — the Kingdom of Sin is the Botany Bay for utterly bad-at-heart parties. Parties whom the slight restrictions of -the underworld repel. Natural criminals and unnatural criminals. Before said promising gentry can enlist under the banner of Sin. they must pay the piper, as aforesaid, in Hell: and. more than that, must do some thinking and striving, even if the striving and thinking are towards wicked ends. Thought ential to prevent ani\ihilotion. Parties who prefer anni- hilation to having to think, will get annihilation. You'd be amazed at the hordes, that, annually — when they have done their time in Hell previously, of course — flock to the King- dom of Sin. The number choosing: annihilation is large, but far in- 29 ferior to that of the followers of Sin. Annihilation can only be achieved by being stripped of all one's mental and moral faculties: a process immeasurably more painful than having one's arms and legs cut oil' without chloroform, and the mar- row drawn from one's bones by an exhaust. Nothing re- mains but the essence of life, which is fire, which is thrown in the Lake of fire and brimstone : to burn painlessly through eternity — since fire can't hurt fire. So. you see. my dear Archie, there's trouble ahead for pretty nearly everybody. It will at once occur to you to think. "How about the power of the Church to save?" To which I reply that no church pretends, publicly., at least, to save a sinner except that sin- ner sincerely repents. There lies the rub. in that same word repentance. There is no more misunderstood word in any language. Unless the repentance is as deep as the crime, or sin, or selfishness, it is no repentance in the eye of the law down here: and said deficit must be made up by pains and penalties too unutterable to plunge into without more prep- aration than I have time for to-night. Before closing above brief explanatory note, as it were, which is obviously needed to put a mortal in touch with immortality, much as I dis- like touching on topics of religion, for you know, my dear Archie, that religion did not interest me very deeply in the Manhattan Club — CoVfPLTZUEXTS ''UxCLE TOM." (There wasn't a "whiter" man. a more honorable and warm-hearted man in the whole club or city, for that mat- ter, than your experienced-in-the-craft and subtlety-of-man- distinguished self, my dear Uncle Tom. if Uncle Tom you are. which you will pardon me if I continue to doubt.) Certainly put in that way. my dear boy. Don't think me any more of a stickler for etiquette than I was in the club, where you know that, other things being equal. an,d the amenities of civilization being preserved, I was easy as an old shoe. But. my dear boy. there are certain formalities — in the science which you have spent over fifteen years of servitude to unjust laws to investigate — which must be ob- served, or the harmonv. which is as essential for results 30 among the initiate in Hell as it is among the exalted dwellers in Paradise, will be wanting. Order is the first law of Hell. as ii of Heaven, and dot ~ ree&ed prevent- the said har- mony. Doubt felt, but not expressed, has no such evil re- sults. As I was about to observe, it was obviously necessary for me to touch upon religion, much as I dislike doing - I may as well say that I am now a sojourner in the Under- world. You will wonder why I am in Hell communicating with you. The reason is that all aspirants for the Under- world must pass throng'. Hell, which, being the greater of the two. contains Purgatory. In my sojourn of some yeai>. paying my moral obligations by a systematized scale of tor- ment, graded up int. the side of which an Indian at the stake is in a cool and shady spot. (Is that "cool and shady spot." siH I It is Archie. (If so. I ejaculate "Phew!" Knows the Ropes. 1 on well may. my boy. you well may. To resume. In my sojourn here of a few years I got. naturally, to know the pes, as we say aboard ship. Hence I am fitted, as any one need be. to tip you or! to the secrets of Hell. Since I was : your most intimate friend — at least as intimate as any one — and being so much older than you. stood in the position of Father, or at least guide, philosopher and friend, from the time I first met you — though not the first time I saw you about the Club — at the time of the "Volunteer" and '•T/.:stle" international yacht race in the fall of l v ^7 to late December. 1896. I was selected as the party of all others, since I died not very long thereafter, to put you in touch with surely the most interesting propo- sition — that is, to a man of sense — on earth. I can assure you that the topic of religion will not soon obtrude itself in our communications, and shall now pick up the thread of my where I left it some ]: ges Nothing can induce i accede to the overtures of the Kingdom of Sin. In the first place. Satan will too charmed with the ad- vent of the millennium — being what he i-. a Prince of Para- dise as well as Lord of Hell. But Sii sees rains: 31 through sinful and therefore more or less blinded eyes; and therefore fails to catch on to the situation. Satan has never had anything friendlier than an armistice, or now and then a truce of some months — never a treaty of peace — with Sin or his vile, but beautiful — to the not too critical eye — and vastly powerful Kingdom. During the time it has taken to write this, pawr parleys have been interchanged and proposi- tions made, by both sides, and then remodelled. (Knocked off for breakfast, bread and water, about 2 :15 P. M. 7-31-1*2, and then went to bed. 4:05 P. M.) 32 CHAPTER II THE PASSAGE OF THE STYX "The Merry Mills," 8-21-12. 3 :36 A. M. ( Spirit- Message Continued ) . You must know, my dear boy. that death comes without the least transitional shock or feeling, whatever. By this I mean that upon making the passage of the Styx — as the an- cients had it — there is neither jar, nor shock nor sense of fall- ing and landing — though, of course, the soul does fall and does land; since Hell is within this terrestrial ball. I do not, of course, mean that there is no physical pang at the dissolu- tion of the human existence at death — sometimes the pang is dreadful, any physician can tell you that who has seen people die in agony, but I refer to the aftermath, so to speak — what follows after the heart ceases to beat, and life in your Avorld is entirely extinct. There is, upon my word, no more sense of movement upon the part of the immortal soul upon finish- ing its mysterious flight through air, earth, and sometimes water, and arriving at the Judgment Seat in the Hall of Judgment — or elsewhere — than there was sense of movement during said flight, and in neither the said flight nor the said arrestation of flight before the Judgment Seat — or else- where — is there any more sense of movement or of feeling than you experience when I communicate with you by means of automatic writing — I mean of course, mental motion, feel- ing in your mind — for. of course, your hand, wrist, forearm and fingers are in a continual whirling motion while I am operating the nerve centre in your brain that controls and operates the said members of your body corporate, so to speak. Am I, or am I not exact in that ( (You are perfectly exact. The only mental movement I experience is that of a specta- tor at a play wondering what the actors are going to say and do next. I being in complete ignorance of what the next word you are going to write will be). 33 Upon reaching "the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns" the first sensation I experienced was that of awaking after a sound and peaceful sleep. I felt refreshed, vigorous, calm and cheerful. Not a pain or an ache, and not a care on my mind, all of which — as you know hounded me like dims, as duns hound a debtor, for years and years. I could scarcely believe my senses — this unutter- able relief from years and years of pain and care. I men- tally prepared to look about me and wonder not ichere I was, but how I was — for all these delightfully new sensations coursed through my being before I had had time to open my eyes and see where I was. When I did open my eyes what did I behold ! Xapoleon Bonaparte, my dear boy, sitting upon a throne the like of which never before was seen. I shall fully describe said throne since its nature has a good deal to do with the mise en scene. It was in shape like a bed but such a bed. It was, in the first place, not less than half a dozen yards long (That's eighteen feet). It is. And not less than the same distance wide, and stood not less than six feet off the floor. There were steps leading up to the side of the bed, which stood on the floor, not on a dais, or platform, as thrones usually do. The foot of the bed faced me: the head of the bed being against the wall. There were steps only on one side of the throne, on the left side of the bed there were steps, the left side of the bed was the right side to the observer. On the right side of the bed was a barrier one yard high rising perpendicular to the plane of the bed. At the foot of the bed was a railing, over which was thrown a red robe. The railing was highest in the middle, and curved downwards therefrom to either post at the foot of the bed. Said railing was about a foot high in the centre and was filigree work. The bed was of pure gold, with a canopy some six feet above it projecting towards the foot of the same, some two feet. Said canopy was of scarlet cloth. The clothing of said bed was of white linen and creamy woolen blankets. You should know that the vulgar idea of the heat of Hell is utterly aside from the fact. There u heat here in certain, so to speak, localities, but the general temperature is the most perfect climate, of the nature of our temperate zone. To resume. From said canopy de- 34 pended curtains of azure silk shot with gold. Xapoleon was dressed in a garment rather unknown among men of your world, it being of the nature of a shirt, resembling the ancient Greek costume, sleeveless, and falling only a short distance below the hips. I am speaking now of experience gained later. Of course, the length of the garment did not appear when he was under the bed clothes. On his head was a cross between a helmet and a crown, by which I mean the exact replica of the same headpiece surmounting the brow of Michaelangelo ? s "The Thinker," over the tomb of the Medici in Florence. His flesh was of the most dazzling whiteness, but, withal, with a ros}^ hue, such as snow or marble take on at sunset. This was noticeable in his arms which were superbly muscular, but at the same time, far from muscle -bound, or brawny. His face was rosy of hue, upon a dazzling white fond, as the French say, or base, of marble whiteness, without its pallor. You must remember that I am painting, or rather attempting to, an immortal, not a mortal; so what sounds like exaggeration of beauty must be charged to the nature of the immortal frame those of us achieve who so elect to undergo the punishment, torment and torture which is the price, my dear boy, of immortality. (The following insertion of automatic writing — done on the night of August 18, 1912, — is inserted here by me to elu- cidate what follows. — J. A. C.) Now, nothing can be farther from my mind than for you to infer that said prophecy is meant to be believed, by a soli- tary inhabitant upon this terrestrial ball, male or female. Belief is not in the least desired. Far from it, dear boy, far from it. The time has come when God Almighty is about to wipe out His score against that damnable aggregation of foul qualities yclept man and woman. I know from the feeling in your hand, that holds the pencil that I am guiding; that you shrink, and shrank from including the fair sex — whom, you know, personally, I respect, and from a respectful dis- tance — I refer to you, for I am not so far from the enjoy- ment of the loveliest portion of Creation as in your ascetic se lf — i n Hell tho' I be. (Who wouldrft be ascetic on my diet — bread and water! St. Anthony was a monk you remember). Admitted, my dear and martyred friend. To resume. I 35 know that you shrank when I included women in the curse aforesaid. But you know that as a Southerner my admira- tion and respect for women was something approaching the romantic. (I do). You can then well believe that nothing but the direst necessity could force me to write such a dam- nably ungallant thing about women, as I just did. But, my dear student of humanity, you must know that you, half Southern as you are on both your Father and your Mother's side, and from Charleston, South Carolina, at that — that the heart- of woman is just about as black and foul — (Come, come! Uncle Tom, you make me sick). Now, my dear Ar- chie, permit me. You know that I thought fully as highly of women as do you, when I was on the earth. (I do, and that's what makes your language now, so surprising and distaste- ful — to put it rather mildly). You must in fairness then al- low me the benefit of the doubt regarding what I have learnt in my, so to speak, collegiate course in Hell. {Collegiate course, did you say?) I did. For you must know that upon arriving here we are at once put to work preparing for the torment and torture we must undergo to pay the piper. This entails eventually a collegiate course very much such as you took at Columbia University, by which I mean a series of lectures upon morality such as I shall not now take up time to describe, but shall at no distant period. Suffice it to say that every man and woman arriving here is sent eventually to a, so to speak, University, where Morality is as enthusiastically and scientifically taught as, sa}^, Mathematics or Physics at any modern University. During said, I may say, highly in- teresting and instructive lectures, spread out over a series of years, the moral diagram of the human heart is displayed at large upon the blackboard, and upon charts, and in illustrated works as scientifically as the human organ is mapped and physically limned, and described in that standard work Grey's Anatomy '(I know the work and have it in my Library at "The Merry Mills"'). It is a frightful revelation, my dear boy, a Hellish disillusionment, this view of the human heart of man and woman from the spiritual, or ideal, side. All this will be gone into specifically, line upon line, precept upon precept, before very long. (End of insertion). You may as well know first as last, that the vicarious sac- rifice of Jesus Christ by which alone we miserable, damnable race of mortals escape perpetual flame, does not. as so many fools think, land the elect, as they self -sufficiently dub them- selves, on the sunny side of Jordan by a very large majority. Far from it. Over and above said vicarious sacrifice each man and each woman must, and shall, and does, work out his or her salvation in Purgatory — which is but another name for Hell. Work it out he or she must in agony and bl sweat such as Christ experienced upon the accursed cross I do not at all mean that all men and women are crucified. tho* I may as well state that millions and millions of them, both women, as well as men. are crucified and for precisely the same length of time and in precisely the same manner as was Jesus Christ. To resume. His eyes were truly mar- vellous, being like jewels in their deep fire and pearly beauty. That last may seem strange as applied to eyes. But Xapo- leon Bonaparte's eyes are precisely the color — and with the marvellous orient — of gray pearls. There is a softness playing through the fire, and at times, and for cause, ferocity, of his glance, that more nearly resembles a beautiful woman's look when she is willing to let the person regarding her for the nonce see that she loves. Xapoleon's voice is as much more resonant and marvellous in its steel-like lambent flexibility and penetration than it was in life. His teeth are pearly white and regular, his lips a cool, not a hectic, red. I have now. at some length attemped to picture the being that met my astounded gaze upon opening my eyes after death. There was a mi-chievous smile lurking in the corners of his mouth as I opened my eyes and rested them on his glance. He recognized me at once — as I him. I shall not attempt to picture my surprise. I rushed forward and threw my arms about his neck and he held me to his breast while tear^ dropped from his eyes upon my neck. I shall draw a veil — for certain reasons — over our conversation. You know that I always admired Xapoleon and apparently — he was as well aware of that fact as was I. and appreciated it in the above astonishingly unimperial manner. (Yon amaze me. Uncle Tom. alleged) I dare say I do. but I don't advise you to press me on our conversation, etc.. mv dear Archie — I 37 warn you as a friend to "keep off the grass."* When I under- took this job I desired to intimate that I was not at libert} 7 to describe every solitary secret under the lid of Hell — (My dear alleged — I beg pardon — in my interest I had quite for- got the reservations you made re alleged revelations. Pray proceed). Some half an hour was consumed in our marvel- ously friendly chat, whereupon he intimated that I might as well glance towards a tall cheval glass at the left of his bed. I had been standing upon the steps of the throne rest- ing against its side, holding Xapoleon Bonaparte's hands clasped in mine. The said cheval glass was almost directly opposite me — but so overwhelmingly absorbed had I been in the man beside me that I had not even seen that there was such a thing as a cheval glass in the apartment. Xo sooner did I turn and glance at the glass than I saw that I was nude. Once more, I shall have to ask you to imagine my surprise — not to say shame. Xapoleon Bonaparte instantly patted me on the shoulder and said in perfect English, with- out the slightest hint of an accent or loss for a word : "Xever you mind dear Uncle Tom, we're all like that when we first arrive in Hell — frankness is the key-note down here, and to impress it upon my subjects I have it arranged so that male and — ahem! — female make their passage of the Styx sans anything, bar luxuriant Lady Godiva hair for the ladies, which I have arranged every female shall find she possesses upon opening her amazed — not to say horrified — eyes upon my countenance. Pray do not consider your nudity as in the least embarassing : for we all have to go stark naked male and female, here below, until we lose the foul hypocrisy and lust begotten by clothing that is meant to indicate what it does not show: until we become like little children in that respect at least, if in no other. I do not want you to think that men and women mingle in so- ciety down here stark naked at all times. Far from it. At first, upon reaching my hospitable shores the sexes are strictly kept apart, as strictly as they are kept apart in jails, and in some places, Poor Houses. Not until the new-born sense of modesty, by which I mean purity free from all tinge of false modesty, not until the new-born sense of purity which distinguished the ancient Greeks, in their best and purest epoch, and has pretty much always distinguished savage 38 nations, not until this new-born sense has become nature, are males and females permitted to meet in Hell. So pray do not consider that you are not garbed in your good old dark grey sack suit, that saw so much service at the Manhattan Club — you are to my eyes. I shall at once instruct you as to what awaits you. My dear Uncle Tom, it pains me more than I can say, that pain and suffering, toil and torment, and even torture, awaits you here. Now, do not consider that you are in the old-time Hell of perpetual, indiscriminate combustion. Far from it. That old scare-crow serves well enough on earth, and is near enough the truth to deserve to serve its purpose on earth. But Hell is more an affair of intellect, will-power and aspiration, than merely combus- tion. By the employment of those three things, will-power, intellect, and aspiration, you can reduce your sufferings, toils and torments and tortures, not a hundred per cent. only. I shall not take up your time expatiating upon the almost in- finite variety of mental, moral, and, so to speak, physical combinations that can be worked in the game, each man and woman has to play with flame. The infinite combinations of the chess-board seem puerile and restricted by the side of the triune combinations of the so to speak, physical, mental and moral in Hell. The infinite combinations of the fenc- ing-school seem as limited and bare of imagination and scope of intelligence as the crude gestures of boys playing at mimic warfare with sticks for swords. Lastly, complica- tions of life, in the complicated, sophisticated and hypocrit- ical age you have just left seen as simple and unintelligent as the ruminations of a Central African savage, full of food and desiring sleep, when weighed with what I shall term the coruscations of the Hellish Triangle — aforesaid. I shall personally instruct you in the art of fencing with Hell-flame. You must know that Hell-flame is alive— is sentient. Hell-flame is, so to speak, a thinking — diamond rattlesnake — that beautiful and noble reptile that molests no one that does not cross its path, but strikes to kill all that do cross its path and do not give way before it. Hell-flame is a composition of my own, a composition invented shortly after arriving here from Paradise. I invented Hell -flame as Dr. Guillotin invented \ the guillotine— as a merciful means tlmproved. It being a Scottish invention of ancient date. 39 to a needed end. In Hell-flame I put, of course, naturally, under the circumstances, more than Dr. Guillotin could put into his guillotine. In Hell-flame I have, so to speak, a combination of Deputy-sheriff, crossed by a judge, and mixed with nitroglycerine. In a word, Hell-flame first arrests the culprit, second, tries and condemns him or her, and thirdly executes — figuratively of course, in respect to the immortal soul — the felon. I should add that Hell-flame differs from more than one human judge, in that, Hell-flame is absolutely just and impartial, and does not desire — in fact is chemi- cally incapable of tyranny, injustice, fraud or any of the dozen or so pastimes of so many human judges. It hates hyprocrisy and cold-heartedness as heat hates cold, and fights it as Vesuvius would fight ice thrown into its crater. To a man of your vast experience in legal matters — although a Layman, I know of your sitting on commissions-of-lunacy in New York as the layman among the legal three — lawyer, physician and layman — gathered from years of intimate ac- quaintance among the most learned judges in the Manhattan Club — men like that really great judge the late Judge Eapallo, Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals — added to your profound knowledge of human nature, gathered both in war and in peace — to a man of your in- telligence and honesty and experience it will not be long be- fore you conclude that in Hell-flame I had a good thing. I shall not continue this conversation, because, although there is no such thing as time in Hell, yet what goes for its substitute among new arrivals here calls you from me, and to begin your long training for meeting in battle array at the point of your rapier my faithful snakes — Hell-flame. Now, my dear Uncle Tom, you must not think me cruel in so soon broaching so unpleasant a topic as fencing with a fiery enchanted serpent that stings — not bites — you every time it lunges at you unless you can parry its thrust with your steel duelling sword. But you must know that I have begun your actual training by bringing before your mind the horrid prospect of fencing — so to speak for your life — with an enchanted and venomous human — so to speak — snake, though generally speaking my Hell-Snakes aforesaid are far superior to human beings morally as well as mentally and effectively. For you must know that in Hell everything is 40 judged primarily by intent. In law with you. intent of course governs, but the intent must be followed by action on earth in order to bring the party under the law. Whereas in Hell the intent in itself is enough to convict a man of crime. That is a startling proposition, is it not \ But such is the act. If a man think* adultery in Hell he commits adultery, and sharp and shrewd will the reckoning be. If a man thinks rape in Hell, he commits rape. If a man thinks murder, he commits murder. If theft, theft. Arson, arson: and so on down the list. And lastly, if a man thinks a lie — by which in this as in previous cases of course, is meant if he wishes in his heart that he had a chance to lie. and would lie if he had the chance — lastly, if a man thinks a lie he lies. Therefore in bringing before your mind the horrid picture of yourself fighting, for your life, with the natural and legendary enemy of man. the serpent. I. ipso facto, prepare to steel your courage, and arouse your charac- ter to the deadly campaign before you. which will require years of severe and torturing training before you can possibly be ready for the ordeal. As I said, what stands for time in Hell calls you away from me now. To cheer and comfort you I shall say that eventually you will triumph, before bidding you adieu for several years — this sounds brutal, but my dear Uncle Tom it is simply absolutely necessary to cultivate your courage, hardihood and self-reliance against the said awful day of reckoning. Being as dear to me as you are. you will at once wonder why I do not mitigate the torment or protect you from it by keeping you always by my side. My dear friend, this cannot be. In Hell, justice rules, hut it is justice untempered by mercy. This is sadly but ntr-tssarily so. The Law of the Universe compels me to arrange my Kingdom of Hell as severely according to the laws foreordained from the foundation of the world to govern my Kingdom of Hell, as the Laws of the Universe compel Jehovah. Almighty God and omnipotent tho" He be, to arrange His celestial Kingdom of Heaven according to the laws foreordained from the foundation of the world to govern His Kingdom of Heaven. I have large leeway in the arrangement and method of government of my Kingdom of Hell. So, of course, has Jehovah. But neither of m can change essential* y to salvation. This hard and cruel necessity stares God Almighty as bitterly and hopelessly 41 in the face as it does me. It will at once occur to you — the dictum of Jesus Christ that with God all things are possible. Without going into that too deeply now, I shall simply say that that is as relative a remark as though one were to say of a so-called "lightening calulator" in mathematics — "He's so powerful in mathematics that he can do what he pleases with the rules of Arithmetic. 7 ' Yes, he can do everything — but change them. The same holds good of God. He cannot change the Laws of the Universe. Such being the case, I can no more shield you from your dread ordeal than — were I a man with you on earth — I could shield you from death when your hour had come. Nor can I show you the slightest partiality. Dreadful are the laws of Hell; dreadful is the Law of the Universe under which, and under Jehovah and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit — / rule. To a man of your sagacity I have said enough. I would that there were a talisman that I could give you; but there is none beyond that your keeper will furnish you with upon your leav- ing my presence. Farewell, Thomas Jefferson Miller; and may God Almighty strengthen you, as far as He is permitted to — for nought can I do for you — in your hour of need. With these ominous words, my dear Archie. I left the presence of Satan. (Provided it is strictly according to Hoyle, so to speak, I put up a plea for the writing-current to be less severe and strenuous, less vice-like from now on, if possible, and cor* rect). Certainly, my dear boy. The reason for the rigor of the pages preceding is that the matter therein is some- what unusual and I want you to have no doubt in your mind as to whether you wrote the preceding pages or not. (There's no possible doubt about that, Uncle Tom, alleged, none in the world. Ill take my dying oath to that. My hand is as cramped as though it had, so to speak, been in the stocks). So far, so good, my dear boy. Now, to proceed. (Before doing so might I ask the size of the bed-chamber of Satan,) You may. It was about the size of your bedroom a* "The Merry Mills,"* (Many thanks. Pray proceed. One mo- ment. May I ask if there was anyone present at your audi- ence with Satan?) You may. There was no one present. (Many thanks. Pray proceed). *About 24 feet square. 42 So soon as Satan had spoken the above recorded words, the door of the chamber opened, apparently of its own accord, inwards, and I felt myself as it were. gently pushed by an invisible force, in the direction of the now open door, and through the same. No sooner had I crossed the threshold than I saw a sight which chilled my very blood, so to speak. Within six feet of me curled up in a corner of the hall outside the door lay an enormous snake. It- Byes were as yellowish-green as the glow of a glowworm on a summer night in the South, or a fir- flash. It riveted its eyes upon mine, but did not raise its head from its coil or open its mouth. It was as thick as a thinnish boa-constrictor, and from the number of its coils must have been over thirty feet long. Had I not been im- pelled by the said mysterious current I should have stood stock still in my very natural — it strikes me — horror. Bat the friendly current carried me by the dreadful object. (May I ask its color? ) You may. It was snow white, the Lord's sake I Xo wonder it gave you the jumps! A white boa-eonstrictor thirty feet long is rather more than the limit. I saw a white snake once — as I remember — once in Don Cameron's canal at Eoanoke Eapids. But this was a snake not more than a foot long, and a water-snake at that. I'd walked to the head of his canal, miles from Roanoke Eapids one Sunday afternoon in 1895, alone, and was sit- ting on a stone at the junction of the Eoanoke river and canal when this little snake swam into the canal from the river and disappeared under the bank of the canal: I re- member how pretty and graceful it was in the water — tho' I hate snakes; — but a white snake thirty feet long ! ) You may well exclaim. I descended the stairs leading from the land- ing upon which the snake lay curled, having passed through a door on the landing that opened of its own accord. No one was visible in the front hall, and no more snakes. I felt ied along as described to the front door, which opened as had the others, of its own accord, and stood upon the front piazza. I shall limit my description of the palace to -aving that it was small rather than large — as palaces _ low rather than high in the same domain — and was built of solid gold. The pillars of the piazza were of alabaster, as were the - pillars at each corner of the h< - . 43 as well as a border that crowned the upper story. The door was of bloodstone — a solid slab of bloodstone without blemish or flaw — a wide door — and the bloodstone was peculiar in this particular, that the blood color in the stone predomi- nates as largely over the green as the green does over the red in your world. As I stood on the piazza a most entrancing vista met my gaze. At the base of a flight of steps of a strange blue stone resembling the sky in color, and unlike anything I had ever seen on earth, stretched a carriage way paved with peb- bles that had a prismatic effect, but whose splendor was soft- ened by a strange sort of haze that seemed to hang on and above it like a perpetual dew. This laid all possible dust. Beyond the driveway stretched a most entrancing lawn, spotted here and there with the filigree shadows of the most airy and gracefully foliaged trees, of an unknown variety. Birds with really sweet and musically satisfying notes, and brilliant plumage, darted in and out among the leaves, or soared in the ether. The most sweet perfume of flowers that shone like golden stars on the velvet sward assailed the nostrils, and awoke as subtle longings. Beyond rose a range of dark, sombre, frowning mountains, which stretched in an almost perfect amphitheatre across the — what I after- wards learned was — North. I mean by that that the moun- tain range bent like a hoop, with the ends of the hoop point- ing towards the palace. Dark forest stretched between the Imperial pleasure grounds and the mountains. The same held true of all other points of the compass. Dark velvet foliaged trees stood like serried ranks of spearmen in all directions. I became lost in delighted wonder at the beauty of the prospect, when suddenly I heard a sound that stopped my heart from beating for a moment. It was the most blood-curdling thing I had ever dreamed of. It sounded like a cross between the roar of a lion and the scream of a wounded horse. The next moment I saw a creature the like of which I had never seen, dart towards me from a clump of bushes on the edge of the lawn. The creature was about the size of a lion — a large, full-grown lion — but in place of having the hind quarters of a lion — though it had the head, forepaws and mane of the King of Beasts — those of this horror were those of a horse. '(Is that "horse," may I ask?) 44 It is. (It must have been a horror). It surely was. The gait with which it rushed towards me was an unwieldy gal- lop. Its eyes shot fire, and its mouth opened as it roared. I felt that I should petrify. To my unutterable relief the thing had not gone more than twenty paces before it was seized by a current such as had been gently pushing me, and tripj^ed up and hurled with a back somersault high in the air. and flat on its back, whereupon it set up a piteous moan- ing, as heart-rending to a humane-minded man as its former noises had been hair-raising. I could scarcely forbear a smile of relief. My relief was short-lived however. TThile I was sympathizing with the unwieldly thing, as it writhed in pain on its back and sides, a sound like the (I see the current has stopped: as I feel sleepy. I presume it means bedtime?) You are correct. (9:17 A. M. 8-21-12). J. A. C (About 1:15 A. M. S-22-12. S-20-12 (X). J. A. C. ) hissing of a thousand serpents struck upon my startled ear. I looked in the direction of the sound, and saw from a cluster of um- brageous undergrowth opposite the lair of the half -horse-half lion creature, and protecting as it were the left flank of His Satanic Majesty's palace — a something undulating towards me that made my hair stand on end — I actually felt my hair stiffen and bristle from the roots up. I hasten to add — - since these words may reach the ears of some of my quondam Club associates of the Manhattan Club, that whereas I was as bald as an egg on earth, upon regaining consciousness after death at the foot of the throne in the bed-chamber of His Satanic Majesty. I saw. when at the request of Satan. I glanced at my reflection in the cheval glass, that I had as thick a head of hair as your curly self. and. you will smile at this, as curly as your own. (Delighted to hear it. my dear Uncle, alleged — pray, what is its color, may I askM You may. Archie, its color is red. (Ha. ha ! Uncle Tom. you make me laugh). I am not surprised, since, ever since you knew me. what fringe of hair I had below the hat-line, together with my patriarchal beard, were as gray as a grizzly bear. I may as well complete the catalogue of the marvel- lous and highly desirable changes, that -aid glance in the cheval glass showed death had conferred upon my face and fiirure. You. of course, remember that I was short and roly- poly, so to speak. Xot more than say. five foot five inches 45 high, and with irregular, and highly Socratic, features. (Ex- actly what you were. Uncle Tom — but please to remember that I imported the bust of Socrates as cast in plaster from the Greek original in the Louvre Museum in Paris eighteen years ago, along with other Greek statuary, for "The Merry Mills" and that I literally love Socrates r brave, honest, ugly face, and Olympian brow). I know you do, my dear boy, and that's one of the reasons you loved me — but not of that here — I must press on. Well, my dear Archie, in the first place I have gained some six inches in height. I'm five foot eleven in my bare feet. In the second place I am — who would not say it under any other circumstances — a strikingly hand- some man, without a ray, a solitary ray — of resemblance to my former comically ugly face. (You amaze me.) I well may. Whom do you suppose I look like ? ( God alone knows, Uncle alleged! I can't imagine). Prepare yourself, Archie, for a tremendous surprise. I am an idealized likeness of Marshal Xey! (I am dumb. I said something, but re- frained from putting it down). It seems that I am Marshal Ney himself — not that I was in life — in life I was partly Marshal Xey — about one-quarter of his personality was sub- merged in me; a man can be alive and yet not be all of his own personality. That may perhaps appear a paradox. (It does, rather) I inferred as much, Archie. I shall explain all this to you scientifically, in time, when I reach the un- veiling of some of the Secrets of the Universe. Till then, let it suffice to say that Brown, Jones and Eobinson may be three men ; all alive at the same time : and yet Brown may be more Jones and more Eobinson, than Brown. Thus, Say for example that a personality consists of twelve-twelfths. The unit Brown may consist of five-twelfths Jones, and five- twelfths Eobinson and only two-twelfths Brown; and the same — in another equation — might be the case with Eobinson and Jones. The secret of this is this. Prepare for another and most momentous surprise. I am well aware, my dear boy, that you do not believe a word I say, believing that you are bamboozled by what you are pleased to call your X- Faculty. or subconciousness, which you honestly, and before God. Who sees all hearts, believe is masquerading in the guise of your old, and tried, trusted, loved and true friend, Thomas Jefferson Miller. (I do, so help me God, Uncle 46 Tom alleged — I only wish I could get proof strong enough to scientifically prove your claim; but I am fully aware of the utter impossibility of such proof being vouchsafed; and therefore, as a philosopher, and follower, in all but religion, of the great Yoltaire, I smilingly listen to all you say, ana with great interest, I assure you, for I well know that the world has never seen such an exhibition of unconscious cere- bration as my X-Faculty is turning out on Hell, since the beginning of recorded time.) To resume. Here follows the surprise. The great Pythogoras was right in his doctrine of metempsychosis, or the transmigration of souls from man to man; woman to woman, and animals to men; vice versa, etc., etc. (You do surprise me) I thought I would. Thus a man called Brown may not be Brown at all, but only a negligible fraction of him: the real Brown being split up into other fractions, and parcelled out into as many as a dozen men. Eventually, all Brown will be gathered together into the soul of Brown — but it may take a thousand years. (There you surprise me again, Uncle alleged). I fancied I might, Archie. When St. Paul spoke about the dead being raised, he was correct; but not until their final reincarnation has been accomplished — which may require a series of in- carnations running through as many as ten centuries. I am Marshal Ne}^ in his full perfection and completion of soul, which includes intellect, heart and physique. (I now salute "the bravest of the brave"). And I in turn salute you. To proceed. Brave as Xey is generally admitted to be, my very hair stiffened and bristled from the roots up as I watched the "Something" undulating towards me, filling the air with a thousand separate and distinct hisses with each breath from its fiery jaws. (I smell a dragon, Uncle Tom). You have an excellent nose, Archie, the nose of a blood-hound, for typical old time St. George — and-the-dragon — dragon it w. The first thing I sensed out of a score or more of conflicting horrors, was the most foetid — nnd strange as this sounds, it's true, but incomprehensible to flesh and blood — terrifying stench that had ever offended my nostrils. I say terrifying, advisedly, for as the scent of a wild beast will stampede a herd of horses, or make one horse run like mad away along a country road, so the scent of a dragon is freighted with 47 fear. As I say, a human being simply cannot understand or take in this, so we will not waste time over it. The scent was a mixture of ordure and bilge-water crossed with the odor of burning flesh. (Not attar of roses — I can comprehend that). Fire gushed and spouted in gaseous smoky jets from its flaring cup — or other saucer-like — nostrils, which sucked in and puffed out like flabby lips, as the flame shot out, and the creature thereupon inhaled more air to work its bellows with. Said flames shot severel feet from each nostril and were each as broad as the flame of a gas jet in full flare. Its eyes were bottle green, b}^ which I mean a green flame glowed and rolled in each socket. In length the monster was about sixteen feet, and about as thick through as a crocodile. Its horrible tail swished from side to side, curling exactly like a cat's, only more so. Its dreadful claws spread out and tore up the earth in its path. I was stark naked, of course, andf felt the feeling of being defenseless, which that condition brings to all civilized beings unless armed. I was at my wits end. Suddenly the self-same blessed current seized and shot the thing flat on its back where it writhed and bellowed — instead of hissing — very like the bray of an ass; and what's more spun round at a furious rate, for all the world like a dish to which a rotary motion has been imparted, seemingly unable either to stop spinning or flop over onto its bell}'. Relieved as I now was by my escape from death by fire, and suffocation by stench, my mind was wholly concentrated upon the condition of the crestfallen chap-fallen dragon, when once more the current of my veins was turned awry. (About 3 :15 A. M. 8-22-12, 8-21-12 (N.), J. A. C. About 11-15' (K) 8-22 — '12 (N.) (The current won't work, may I ask why,) You may, it is because you are not alone on this floor, a party having come in. '(He is not in the room — the dining-room where I am munching my supper of bread and water). I am aware of that. (About ten minutes later. The party has now left the floor). At a second's space — hardly so much as that from the moment when my mind was absolutely and entirely free from anxiety, care or concern concerning the spinning dragon, I was aware of something occurring within my mind which you — as a mortal — are incapable of conceiv- ing. It was not dread because it was so much more deadly chill than dread, that dread does not deserve to be men- 46 tioned in the same week with it. It was not fear, because it was so much more numbing, relaxing, in the sense of weak- ening, say a strung bow-string — than fear. Lastly, it was not terror, because it was so much more stunning and para- lyzing than terror that terror dwindles into insignificance beside it. Before I had had time to more a finger, so swift was this overwhelming, engulfing sensation. I was aware of something which you are not permitted to allow anybody to know about. You are to take a separate sheet of paper for the recording of precisely what it was that I saw. (Very well. I shall do so). (The recording of the cause of your mysterious engulfing sensation required less than half a sheet of paper, and ten minutes" time. It being done. I presume you will proceed. ) Xo sooner did the cause of my said sensa- tion disappear into thin air than a yet more terrible sens-a- tion overwhelmed me. said description will also require eso- teric recordation. (Very well. I shall put it on the latter half of the same secret sheet of paper). (Nine lines were all that were required to record the second secret cause. I presume you will now proceed). So soon as said second cause of said sensation had disappeared as had said first, my mind became aware of a most divinely lovely sensation of peace and confidence and satisfaction. Xo cause was consciously behind said delectable delight. I simply stood at ease, and so to speak, drank in the sensation which — after what I had been through in the way of sights, sounds, and smells in t he- past few minutes — was about as near Paradise as I had ever expected to get. After about five minutes of said delightful experience, my ears were enchanted with the sound of female voices singing in unison. The sounds were so far sweeter than those possible to the human voice, that I -hall not at- tempt the impossible task of imparting it to you — devoted as I know you to be to music, both vocal and instrumental, of a high class. It was simply ravishing to the ear. heart, and soul, alike. I stood as tho* entranced. So entranced that the scantiness of my apparel did not so much as cross my en- raptured mind. It appeared to be a hymn that the females were chanting, and to my unutterable amazement, I soon learned that English was the language they were using. Their enunciation was so exquisitely distinct that I could dis- tinguish everv least word uttered and this without that 49 mouthing and explosive utterance of mortal singers in public. The words seemed to fall from their lips as softly and easily as drops from a flower sans any strain or effort or loudness of enunciation. It was more what I imagine was meant by Tennyson in his description of music in the land of Lotus- Eaters. The females sounded as though they were on the East side of the Palace and on the ground. The Palace faced North and South. I soon found that the object of their adoration was Apollo. The metre appeared to be that known as the iambic pentameter. I listened and learned that the singers either were — or took the role in the said hymn of — the Nine Muses, or female companions of the Greek God of Song. I shall not attempt to picture the mingled passion and purity, self-sacrifice and devotion hinted at by the words of the Hymn, and made convincing as proof of Holy Writ, as Shakespeare has it, by the passionate, penetratingly thrilling, almost convulsing charm of the voices. As I said, I stood entranced. Suddenly a shadow fell across the glit- tering driveway, proceeding from the East side of the Palace, proceeding slowly and with rhythmic dignity. To my mingled horror and joy I saw — one by one — nine maidens all in the flower and perfection of beauty of face and form and youth, file majestically by, and, unutterable shock, file my way! Had I not been rooted to the piazza floor by the said cur- rent — incapable of moving more than an eyelid — I would have braved rousing the half-lion-half-horse, plus the dragon himself — both of which creatures had been put out of their misery during mine, and were sleeping peacefully, but not silently, for, from the half-lion-half-horse, came a muffled purr, as loud as a cat the size of a lion would make when pleased ; while from the dragon came the chug-chug of a loco- motive on a siding. Both of the said animals were asleep I saw in the glance that I darted in my despairing effort to make a break for the underbrush, and play Ulysses to Nausi- caa and her maidens, by hiding. But budge I could not. My horror increased when I saw that the line of maidens was headed directly for me (Uncle Tom, I sympathize with you). TTell you may, my boy, well you may ! '(A stark naked, red-headed man, of presumably huskv build — presumably in the heavy-weight class in the "P. R.", and five feet eleven inches high, being approached by a bevy of Greek Goddesses 50 —takes all cakes, Uncle Tom). It does. To resume. The fear I now experienced was as penetrating as any of the hor- rid sensations that had previously coursed through my over- worked veins. I don't like to dwell upon it. Singing lower, and, if possible, more sweetly as they drew nearer, the group of Goddesses left-wheeled — so to speak — or rather columned- left and slowly ascended the piazza steps. I was rooted to the spot some ten feet to the West of the steps which faced due North. Slowly and gracefully they mounted the steps, their flowing garments fluttering softly about their divine shapes in a breeze that seemed to accompany them. Each held in her hand a small harp such as is usually depicted on Greek vases of an antique pattern. Upon this each played by touching the strings deftly and softly with her right hand. Chords soft as music on the waters was the result. To these chords was joined a music the cause of which was unseen, for it could not come from harps, being in the nature of strains from sweetest and richest violin you ever listened to. The combination of the harp's chords, the unseen violin, and the unutterable witchery of the maidens' voices I shall despair of ever imparting to mortal ears. Embarassing as was my position, stark naked as I stood, petrified by the min- gled horror, enchantment and current that held me as in a vice, yet, and nevertheless I had never in my life on earth — and in my youth, and before the war I had known happi- ness — never on earth had I experienced such ecstacy. The music slowly ceased as the last of the maidens set her snowy sandalled foot upon the cerulean pavement of the piazza in a direction opposite to me and seated herself on a stone bench that bounded the east and west side of the piazza, which stood some six feet from the ground. Said benches were of green marble the color of the dark trees that lined the horizon on every side. Each Goddess seated herself quietly holding her harp in her left hand, but allowing it to rest upon her lap. Slowly the Goddesses seated themselves in an easy but still upright attitude and slowly they turned their glorious eyes towards mine. Although I am operating the nerve-centres in your brain controlling the work of the pencil I can see your face as plainly as though I were sitting opposite you, and I smile at the smile that you are vainly trying to hide from playing about your lips. (You have created what I as 51 a reader of plays — from Shakespeare to Sardou, from Mar- lowe to Voltaire — term an embarassing situation). Ad- mitted. To resume. Slowly the Goddesses turned their glo- rious eyes towards me. The first thing that struck me in comparing their ravishing features and glorious orbs with the surely handsome women I have known on earth, was an inexpressible sweetness of expression that you may say is wholly wanting in the faces of beautiful women with us. I hasten to say that you know that no one had a more respect- ful admiration for women than myself. (I know that)- You also know that I was an enthusiastic admirer of beauty in women — beauty of feature, beauty of figure and beauty of soul, and of course, mind. (I certainly do). Very well, then, you will admit that in saying sweetness of expression is wholly wanting in the faces of beautiful women with us, I surprise you. (You surely do, my experienced veteran in the pursuit of loveliness. You surely do). Nevertheless what I have just said is strictly and unequivocally true. But you must know this. That I did not know that when I was on earth. I fancied that I had seen — and far better than that, my dear Archie — at least half a dozen women with ravishingly sweet expressions. Their expressions were sweet to me because I had never yet seen sweetness of expression, as sweetness of expression is depicted upon expressions, faces and features of females in Hell. '(You finished strong, Uncle Tom, you finished that sentence strong. My compli- ments). It is all very well for you, my blase friend, reclining as you now are on a lounge, with a writing-board resting on your breast and held in place by your left hand, it is all very well for you to lie back and sneer at me; but let me inform you sir, that could you but be vouchsafed so much as a glimpse of one of said Goddesses' profiles, no matter how fleeting, no matter how scanty a glimpse ; or of their glorious forms, veiled but yet outlined by the supernatural texture of their apparel: or of the front view of their divinely adorable faces, you would be brought up by such a round turn that it would give you pain, and you couldn't close your eyes for striving to conjure up the vision again, no. not close an eye for twenty-four hours. (I should like very much to have you put me to the test: Now here's a\ propomtion. I am — according to the late Professor William James — a bona fide, 52 dyed-in-the-wool medium. Now a medium is what was called in the Old Testament a diviner, sorcerer or witch. The pos- sessor of a "familiar spirit." Such was the Witch of Endor to whom went one of the most tragic figures in all History — sacred or profane — that precursor of "Macbeth,*' Saul, King of Israel. We have therefore pretty good authority that the only bona fide medium mentioned in the Old Testament — namely, the Witch of Endor, aforesaid — could do what no modern medium has ever done, though any number of the lying, thieving crew of professional mediums — I except that most admirable lady, Mrs. Piper, and Mademoiselle Helene Smith (a disguised name), the Swiss medium observed by Professor Flournoy, author of "From India to the Planet Mars, a Study in Somnambulism, " among other most scientifi- cally reasoned and splendidly arranged studies in Experi- mental Psychology — published by Harper & Bro., New York — though any number of that aggregation of thieves and liars known as modern professional mediums — as rank impostors as that old Hell-hag, Madame Blavatsky — though any num- ber of these cheats and charlatans claim to be able to do it and take gullible peoples' money for tricking them into be- lieving that they do it — we have the authority of the Old Testament that the Witch of Endor could "materialize." This, of course, means conjure-up the visible presence of a dead person, as the Witch of Endor conjured-up at the re- quest of Saul, practically on the eve of battle, the visible presence of Samuel from the bowels of the earth. Now, why should not I, a bona fide medium — do what another bona fida medium has done. Why should not I, tipped off by your respected, and thoroughly posted and distinguished self — why should not I be permitted to do — I am perfectly well aware of the fact that I am unable to do it of my own will and power — why should not I be permitted to do on the strictly "Q-T." of course, what a former predecessor in my art has done. I don't care a tinker's curse about conjuring-up you, my dear Uncle, alleged, for— among other reasons — I wouldn't know you if I saw you— but I'd risk considerable to be allowed to conjure up even one of the nine young ladies that gazed upon you so complacently — naturally — from the fact that to the pure ' ! 1 tings are pure, none but little chil- dren-like attain Paradise, and these nine were Goddesses— I'd 53 risk considerable for a glimpse of one of your young ladies aforesaid. I'm frank to say that young ladies of this world no longer interest me, I "cut them out" years ago. Nothing in petticoats can move me — but I'm perfectly willing to make an attempt at a move on Paradise, in the shape of one of your said nine, in clinging, diaphanous drapery). My youth- ful friend, pardon my frankness, but you talk like a damn fool. (On what grounds, may I ask?) By what right, I should like to kncnv, do you push yourself forward towards a prize no man has won? (The notoriously hard lines I have had in this world, after spending thousands of dollars and years of my life in helping others — offset by no crimes or even injury, to others. I'm no puritan, of course, and don't want to be, but I'm d — d if I deserve what I've been getting for fifteen years, if God Almighty is anything like what He was for power and justice when He argued with Abraham before destroying the aggregation of rascals known as Sodam: Unless the Judge of all the world has "gone back," He would admit — if I could only get within speaking distance of Him — as Abraham did — that He has administered unto me a "raw deal"). To resume. The first Goddess gazed meditatively upon my countenance for some moments in silence. My eyes met hers, and were riveted upon her face as by a spell. Slowly she parted her perfect lips and said in such mellifluous tones as have never reached mortal ears: "Mortal, put on immortality." At the completion of said formula, in the twinkling of an eye, I felt myself clothed in armor from head to foot. My right hand — impelled by said current and without the slightest guidance or thought upon my part sought my left thigh, and there grasped and drew from its sheath a sword such as Greek and Roman warriors are represented as wearing. My hand then brought the weapon to my face and lowered its point in the salute. At the same time I felt that a shield was strapped to my left arm — by which I mean had be- come so in the same twinkling. The moment the point of my sword pointed towards the ground, in the salute, a fan- fare of bugles startled the air and a shout like that of the Old Guard as it passed Napoleon Bonaparte at its last charge at Waterloo rent the air, coming from the lawn. Instantly the Goddesses vanished as though they had never existed and 54 In their place on the same green marble seat I saw Xapoleon Bonaparte asleep. He was to rny amazement, after all that 1 had seen, and after the antique fashion in which I was clothed, as I have said — he was to my amazement dressed in the familiar long gray overcoat and small cocked hat. He was wrapped in his coat, and his face had the expression of approaching victory. Instantly I recognized the situa- tion, it was a replica of Xapoleon sleeping by the camp fire on the eve of his greatest victory — Austerlitz. No sooner did I recognize the above than a veil of something seemed lifted from my memory, and I remembered I had played the role of Marshal Ney in a former life. Xo sooner had the said veil fallen than Xapoleon awoke. Instantly he became clothed in the costume of Michelangelo's "The Thinker." it was so lightening — like that you could not even see the light- ening, so to speak, by which I mean that I could not see the slightest sign of the change of costume from an early 19th century soldier to an ancient Greek warrior. All I saw was one instant Xapoleon asleep wrapped in a long gray overcoat with a cocked hat on his head. The next instant Xapoleon. in the armor of "The Thinker." was standing, sword in hand, before me. The glance of his eyes was terri- ble. It was as blinding as the lightening's flash. I could not bear his gaze, but my eyelids closed convulsively, as they do on a dark night when in a thunder storm out of inky blackness, a blinding streak of forked lightening cleaves its way. I also experienced a slight sensation of heat on the closed lids, as one does, standing at a safe distance from a blast-furnace. I recovered my self-possession and opened my eyes. This time, prepared as I was for what they had to en- counter. I was able, by will-power to-so to speak — force my lids to remain open under the glare of Xapoleon Bonaparte's battle-glance. I succeeded in forcing the lids to remain open, but I could not prevent a convulsive blinking which con- tinued for some seconds. Finally, this. too. passed away and I could look at Xapolecn steadily. I shall not attempt to picture his countenance. At the lapse of a few seconds, he said in slow, grave tones. "Marshal, we meet again." With out the least thought — and as though I were employing Vocal- Automatism, my lips uttered "Sire, we do." "Mar- shal, the time for payment has come." "Sire, 'tis true/' 55 ''Marshal, adieu." Whereupon Napoleon vanished. There- upon I felt myself instantly stripped of all armor, and re- duced to natal nakedness as before. Thereupon, upon the self-same bench that had borne such different — first lovely, then terrible — burdens in so short a time, appeared a form clothed entirely in scarlet. The costume was that worn by Pontius Pilate, in other words, the Paludament, or red cloak- like robe, worn by Roman generals. The features of the said being were those of the typical Roman Military Governor, by which I mean typical Roman soldier-politician, as practi- cally all Roman soldiers of rank were. Said being gazed upon me sternly for some time. His gaze seemed to search my very soul. At the end of about ten minutes, said being said in hard, cold, dry, judge-like tones, in perfectly good English : "Marshal Ney, you are about to prepare yourself to be able to undergo the trials, toils, torments and tortures merited by you for your self-indulgent, obstinate, thought- less conduct of the battles of Quatre-Bras and Waterloo; the which animadverted against the general plans of the Em- peror. The heroic courage you displayed at Waterloo, taken together with your heroic end, mitigate largely the charges against your heart and intellect. Be assured that you will triumph in the end, and emerge as invincible as your courage is and always has been, indomitable, adieu." Immediately his place was taken by a female figure dressed somewhat after the fashion of a sister of charity in the Roman Catholic Church, with the following marked differences. The color of her robes was a creamy white, not dazzling, but soothing to the eye. The shape of her head-dress was not in the least bonnet-like. The material was white linen, which was wound in a band under the chin and around the crown of the head. Her hair was done after the Greek fashion. Her robes were Greek also in cut. Said female allowed her hands to fall into her lap, the left hand over the right, in an easy posture, as she gently gazed upon my face. Slowly she studied my features. Slowly she opened her beautiful, but gravely sad lips, and said in a voice in which subdued sad- ness, was the dominant tone: "Marshal Ney, prepare your soul for trial.*' No sooner had she spoken than a most ter- rific shout rent the air — jells such as Indians give in charging in a night attack upon their foe, split the very firmament. 56 Instantly, the said female form vanished, and I saw dashing towards me from among the trees on the East of the Palace a skirmish line of naked American Indians in full war paint. Each had in his hand a bow with an arrow in place to draw to the head, while the gleam of tomahawk and scalping knife shone at their belts. A quiver of arrows was strapped over the shoulder of each. The bodies of the oncoming band were stripped to the waist, their limbs being clothed in deer- skin leggings. Their heads were shaved except for the brist- ling scalp-lock, and their faces and chests w T ere painted fan- tastically. I made shift to get to cover, but once more said mysterious current held me riveted in my tracks. The next moment a flight of arrows whizzed past my head and shoul- ders. Instantly, each brave drew another arrow from the quiver and (stopped at about 6:35 A. M., 8-23-'12, 8-22-12 (N.) (Napped on the sofa till about 8 A. M. and now re- sume automatic writing at about 3 to 9 A. M., 8-23-12, 8-22- 12 (N - .), J. A. C), fitting same to the bow string let fly another flight. This time I did not escape so easily. About half a dozen arrows struck me. Before describing their loca- tion, I should observe that the texture of the arrows was somewhat remarkable. Instead of being of wood shod with steel, the arrows were of steel shod with flame. The steel again merits description. It was the most delicate lambent material, metal was ever bounded by. In thickness the ar- rows were not grosser than the thinnest lead pencil you ever saw. Furthermore, the steel had the quality of bending, upon impact, as flexibly as though it were coiled into a series of spirals. Lastly, regarding the nature of the steel, it was the lightest metal imaginable, far lighter than alumi- num is by the side of lead. Said arrows were feathered as wooden arrows are, but the feathers were as much heavier than ordinary feathers and also stronger, as the steel was lighter than ordinary steel. It remains to describe the flame that tipped each arrow. Said flame had a magic quality, in that it offered as much resistance to a foreign body as did the steel. The said flame also kept in place, by which I mean did not flare or flicker, but stood straight out stiffly and firmly as though it were steel painted to represent flame. I shall first describe the location of the half dozen hits made on me as a butt, next the sensation accompanying same. The 57 first hit was precisely and directly in the center of my heart. (Is that "heart," may I ask?) It is. The second hit was precisely and directly in the centre of my right eye. (Phew ! Harold, the last English King's fierce fate). Precisely. The third hit was precisely and directly in the centre of my liver The fourth hit was precisely and directly in the centre of my kidneys. The fifth hit was precisely and directly in the centre of my right lung. The sixth and last hit was precisely and directly in the centre of my mouth. (Uncle alleged, you surely were shot up). It is very easy, my dear Sir, for you to sneer, but permit me to suggest that when the time arrives for you to take the same kind of medi- cine — after passing in your checks — pray attempt to remem- ber that flippant remark. (No offence, Uncle alleged, no of- fence). Oh, I am well aware that your mouth is choke-full of glib phrases to ease your way through life — none more so, my dear sir, none more so. (If you will pardon a sugges- tion coming from so unworthy a source as my "glib self," may 1 push forward the idea that you would have no farther trouble in procuring a respectful hearing from me, if you would only deign to furnish me with a scintilla of proof, of the authenticity of your incredible statements, in the slight- est degree commensurate with the enormity of the same). What did I just tell you about }^our glib tongue? (I per- fectly well remember what you just told me regarding that usually unruly member). I shall now proceed. Concern- ing the sensations following hard upon the heels of the en- trance of said peculiarly constructed arrows into my frame, I shall attempt only a partial description. In the first place the inconvenience and pain caused by the entrance of said arrows into my frame was incredibly increased by two pecu- liarities before alluded to in respect to the flaming tips of tlie said arrows and the flexible spiral-like stems — so to speak — of the said shafts. For, unlike ordinary arrows, the greatest pain was not caused by the entrance of the same into the frame — that was noteworthy certainly, but not a court-plaster patch upon the excruciating agony immediately following said entrance. For then the burning only really began. The flaming tips aforesaid began to get in their work only after obtaining a foothold — so to speak — in the centre of the heart, liver, lung, kidneys, mouth and eye. 58 The said flaming tips then "began to wheeze and flare—so to speak—precisely a,s a blacksmith's bellows wheezes, and causes the flame on the forge to flare. It was as though each Indian had his lips attached to the other end of each arrow, and was using it as a blow-pipe to excite the flame and increase its penetration and area. Of course, such was not the ease, the flames— so to speak— took care of that themselves. Next, we come to the damnably uncomfortable said spiral-Wee steel shafts at the end of said flaming tips. These said accessories seemed suddenly to become attached to a steam-roller— so n>arcellously did said delicate, frail looking shafts increase in weight. Each shaft began to weigh tons. (Is that "tons." may I ask:) You may. I reiterate the incomprehensible statement to mortal ears, that each steel shaft began to weigh tons. In order to aim to help you to attempt to take this in. I should add that the supporting strength of my frame exactly increased with mathematical exactitude and precision so as to keep pace with the strain placed upon same by the magical increase in weight of the said flexible steel shafts. The same, of course, held good with the resisting power of the texture of each organ aforesaid, subjected to the above- Hellishly unpleasant process of extermination, purification and concentration. I may as well lift another fold of the veil separating the living from the dead. It is far from my present purpose to break the thread of this narrative sufficiently to subject you to a discourse upon the nature of. and cure required for the extermination of sin — far from it, my dear Archie. But I must, in justice to the situation, say a few words of explanation touching the above frankly in- comprehensible — otherwise — statement. The object of all trial, toil, torment and torture in Hell and Purgatory, is to purify the mind, heart, frame and soul, and thereby cure it of moral evil, and fit it for better things than being turned into a chopping block, archery butts, or macadamized road, as I was bv the said flight of arrows lighting in me. and getting in their work. "Vengeance is mine. I will repay." is perfectly true, and surely carried out. But the repayment is so far in excess of the original debt that it would be hor- ribly unjust to carry out the said archery practice and road- making — I might call it "good-road v making — were the same not scientifically necessary to burn up and crush out of the 59 system — so to speak — the corroding, rotting quality of sin. I hope that I have said enough to show you that Jehovah does not permit Satan — should Satan desire so unjust a thing, which his superb nature would forcibly prohibit his doing — to allow wandering bands of redskins to Fenimore Cooper, the Human Race in Hell — to coin a phrase meant in no dis- respect of that great and far from properly appreciated in most quarters, novelist of all time — Jehovah is far too just to permit Satan, as Lord of Hell, to organize bands of rov- ing savages to attack in the above dramatic manner, new T arrivals in Hell. Satan acting in accordance with the most dark, dire, inscrutable and ominous code of Law ever com- piled, and known as the Decrees of Destiny, Satan acting in accord with said dread code, has used his poetic and dra- matic art to render heroic, romantic, and far from damnably mechanical, the surgical and chemical processes necessary for the purification of the human heart and other organs in Hell. Having had a shot at showing you why / was so shot at, I shall now proceed with my tale of woe: The first thing that will occur to you will be to inquire what I did under the circumstances. Well, I did nothing, for the excellent reason that I could do nothing. Said mys- terious force held me in a vice, while it sustained me, under the tons of weight rolled round in the various said portions of my anatomy, from breakage under said strain, and, at the same time, permitted the full and free burning, and grind- ing, cutting, grilling and flattening necessary for the eradi- cation of the corroding and rotting effects of sin from said portions of my frame. You will at once desire to inquire as to whether I cried out under said torture. To which I instantly reply that I had the strongest possible desire to do so, but was as strictly prohibited from so doing as I was prohibited from budging or moving a muscle. I attempted to cry out, in rage and despair, curses, and what not, that would naturally come to the mind of any one worthy the name of man, at such apparently unjust and tyrannical treat- ment of a newcomer in a perfectly helpless unarmed state — in a state of nudity. But try as I did, I could not utter a sound. Meanwhile the Indians were gloating over the sight of my sufferings — no doubt feeling that they were merely setting their dues for the outrageous robbery of their rights 60 by the white man from the first time that individual ever came in contact with the red. As I learned later, every emotion of my mind, every wish of my heart, every thrill of my nerves in agony was as legibly readable to a so- journer of experience in Hell, in my countenance in tor- ture, and in every man and every woman's countenance in torture, as are stock quotations on the bulletin board in a Wall Street Stock Broker's reception parlor. You will ask if I got accustomed in the slightest degree to the agony as it went on. as we do in the world. To which I reply, not in the faintest degree. The reason for this difference is the difference in the texture of the corruptible body and the incorruptible. In the former, of course, after the nerves have been sufficiently affected by torture, there is more or less diminution in the power of sensation. Not so in the incor- ruptible body. Here the torture is as penetrating in its last moment as in its first. Unutterably suffering as I was. yet said mysterious force compelled me to take note of the faces of the Indians. Never in my life had I ever imagined any- thing comparable with the savage joy lighting up the faces of the braves. Their eyes gleamed like stars in their dark faces. Their cruel lips parted, showing their white teeth as the emotion of retribution at last meted out to the enemy and destroyer of their race's power on earth, spread itself through their souls. Now and then a fierce, triumphant war- whoop would shatter the silence, as a brave noted a peculiarly poignant desire of revenge at such diabolical injustice as I was receiving, sweep over my storm-tried countenance. Xow and then a chief would rise, and throwing out his chest, would begin to chant a war-song of triumph at my woe. Now and then a brave would beckon to another and point to my face and smile exultingly. Whereupon the second would sometimes shout out a defiance at me. and sometimes begin in Ms turn to chant his war-song. The group consisted of about a score of male Indians. After about half an hour (For Heaven's sake! A half hour of such work!) A full and ample half hour. I do assure you. After about half an hour of torture, a sound of peculiar sweetness pierced the cloud of agony shrouding my perception. It came from the West side of the Palace. Slowly it drew near. Of course. I could not turn round, nor would have turned round if I could 61 have, having other pressing matters in mind at said time. But wild — with half an hour of such agony as no man has ever imagined — as I was, I could not be insensible to the peculiar sweetness of the sound that fell upon my anguished ears. SloAvly it drew near. Slowly it came abreast of me, and 9s slowly passed. It proceeded from the lips of a bevy of Indian maidens, about a score in number, which slowly filed by me in Indian file, singing in low accents as they passed. In Hell as I was, in more than one sense of that much used and frequently grossly abused word, in Hell as I was, I could not escape the beauty of these maidens. { Uncle Tom, I salute you as the Hero extraordinary, of the male sex in its adoration of the female. With a flaming ar- row in one eye, revolving, if not rotating as well — and rub- bing it in on you to the extent of several tons, to say noth- ing of the several other arrows — yet and nevertheless your unoccupied-by-an-arrow — other eye, true as the needle to the pole, followed its loadstar beauty to the bitter end). As I before remarked, wait till you get what's coming to you, my boy. To resume. As the beaut} 7 of the Goddesses tran- scended the beauty of all women I had ever imagined, so did — in its sphere — the dark beauty of the Indian maidens surpass that of all Indian beauties I had ever seen or heard of. In place of the copper color of the Indian on earth, their skin below has the hue of bronze mingled with and lightened by gold. The color is sometimes seen on earth in an un- usually beautiful mysterious summer sunset, but nowhere else. Their eyes were much more beautiful than their eyes on earth, as were their skins. Their figures — of which more could be seen than of the Goddesses, but nothing that could affront modesty — were as perfect as those of the God; desses. Their costume was an idealized pattern of the usual Indian female garb. The maidens slowly filed past me and took up position towards the South, that is to say, towards the Grove from which — as I afterwards learned — the God- desses had emerged on the East side of the Palace, No sooner had they clone so than the warriors, with one ear- piercing war-whoop of defiance, vanished into thin air. At that instant, my torture instantly ceased, and you mortal, cannot comprehend this — as instantly did every ves- tige of it disappear from my memory. (Come! Come! Uncle 62 Tom.) What did I tell you, my dear Archie. To resume. Not only did every vestige of the agony disappear from my memory, but I also was deprived of the slightest recollection of what had just occurred. (Phew!) You may well whistle, my observant and attentive friend. Now, you can see the mercy of God. Now you can com- prehend, that in spite of the Hell-awful punishment one un- dergoes in Hell, yet, through it, over it, and under it all, are the Everlasting Arms, are the encircling, protecting arms, of a Fatherly, loving and tender God. (That, my dear Uncle Tom, is the best you've done yet). To resume. So soon as the torture ceased and all memory of it and its occurrence was erased in a twinkling from my mind, I perceived that I was no longer nude. At the same instant I became clothed as before in antique armor. So soon as this most desirable change in my costume had taken place, the bevy of maidens approached and ascended the steps of the piazza, much in the same dignified, yet graceful, and easy way, in which the Goddesses had filed past me into position on the aforesaid stone seat. The leading maiden of the Indian band regarded me slowly with a searching penetrating look. Her hands were in precisely the same attitude of repose in her lap as had been those of the — so to speak — sister of charity, afore- said. Slowly, she regarded me. Slowly her perfect lips opened, and slowly issued forth the following words in Eng- lish, slightly tinged with an Indian accent: "Pale face, wel- come to the Happy Hunting Grounds. The Great Spirit has been pleased to number you among the chosen braves of His band. Again, I bid you welcome." To which strange speech I at once, without the slightest conscious ratiocina- tion, and, as it were, by vocal-automatism, made reply "Princess, be graciously pleased to deign to accept the hom- age and devotion of the most unworthy of his race.'* To which, I may add, for my part, equally strange speech — the leading Indian maiden made the following reply: "War- rior, I accept thy homage. The Great Spirit loves and trusts thee above all other pale-face warriors. You are his favorite. The Great Spirit will not as yet convey these words to you because you are still new and strange to this strange world, but I am deputed by Him to notify you of your lofty place in His heart. Warrior, know that many 63 perils lie along tlry way. Thy way is beset with terror, as the way of the Indian was beset with terror after the com- ing of the Pale-face. But rest assured that your heart is strong, and your fate even stronger, and the Great Spirit's love for thee stronger than all; Warrior, farewell." With these words, the bevy of maidens vanished. For a few seconds thereafter I was actually left alone with my thoughts, I could hear the rhythmic purring of the sleeping monster before described as half-lion-half-horse. It was lying on its side in the attitude of a sleeping cat. I was now free to move my body, but not yet my feet from where I had been glued, so to speak, during so many startling ex- periences. I could therefore see the recumbent dragon, also fast asleep, and chug-chugging as steadily as ever. A thin stream of smoke ascended from each nostril as it slept. I hasten to say that the unspeakable odor of the creature — I found to my unutterable relief — which had not only terrified but nearly strangled me — is never emitted unless the creature is irritated, and desires hostile action upon its part. Noth- ing could surpass the peacefulness of the superb prospect. I recalled nought of the torture, as aforesaid, but minutely recollected the slightest detail of each other incident. My heart swelled within me, with mingled pride and ambition, at the words of the Indian Princess. Slowly, the sinister meaning lurking in the background of her kindly warning, began to steal over my senses like a cool, almost chilling breeze. No sooner had this impression of impending evil reached my being, than I saw a shadow stealthily project it- self round the Western corner of the Palace, As I did so, I felt my feet released from the stocks, so to speak, in which they had been riveted, and the current instantly crouched me down behind the green marble bench on the West — as on the East side — of the piazza, and my hand stole to the hilt of my sword and waited. Slowly the shadow crept round the corner of the Palace. At length I saw the head of an Indian warrior, in full war paint, project itself beyond the shelter of the corner of the Palace, His gaze met mine. With a yell of surprise, the head disappeared. Instantly I felt myself speeding after the retreating savage with my sword drawn and shield advanced to cover my front. As I rounded the corner of the Palace, the Indian reached the 64 edge of the lawn, that surrounded the Palace on all sides, and turned to look in my direction. He then drew an arrow from his bow — not a flame-tipped one, as in the former band of Indians — but a wooden arrow, as I afterwards ascertained, with a steel point — and let fly at me. Instinctively I raised my shield, and the missile clashed against the metal surface of my shield, and fell harmless to the ground. With an whoop of defiance, the savage disappeared into thin air. At the salf same second of time, a third figure appeared in view. This was nothing less than a giant. (Is that "giant," may I ask:). It is "giant." This creature was about the size, build and equipment of one Goliath of Gath. You may imag- ine my surprise and concern. He was standing in precisely the same spot from which my Indian friend — the one who had shot an arrow at me — had vanished into thin air. The aspect of Goliath — for so I shall dub him — was highly trucu- lent and menacing. He was without his shield-bearer, but bore his own door-like shield on his left arm. His features were handsome, of an antique, stern, fierce type of oriental beauty, and his muscles and limbs and arms were superb. He haughtily observed me for a few seconds, and then said, in tones that rumbled like mimic thunder, in English, hint- ing of a strange accent "What make you here, Abner." To which I replied, as usual, without the least thought : "I make my rounds, Goliath, I make my rounds." To which the giant said: "Harken, Abner. The time has come for a trial of strength betwixt us twain. You have often boasted that the force from the Spirit of the Lord of Hosts could equal the strength Baal and Ashtaroth have implanted in my arms and limbs. Now hark you, Abner. I will a wager lay with thee. I will wager a talent of gold against a talent of brass, that I can throw my spear against thy shield, on thy arm and spit thee as I would a beast." "Goliath, I will joyfully accept thy wager, and let the game begin now." "Stay/ friend Abner, where is thy forfeit?" "It is here Goliath." And with that, I produced from the air— as it seemed to me — a talent-weight of brass and laid it on the greensward in front of me, but to the left of the line of vision, between Goliath and myself. Thereupon the giant produced from apparently the same obliging quarter a talent- weight of what appeared to be pure gold, and deposited it 65 on the grass to my left. Thereupon he said, "Now I will essay." I may as well observe that I was as much amazed at my own hardihood and indifference to inevitable destruc- tion — as it appeared to my judgment, to turn myself into a human target for a spear-throwing contest with Goliath of Gath, Goliath to hurl the spear, and I to hold the target — I was as much amazed at my own hardihood and indifference to death by violence, as I was at the sudden sense of over- whelming strength, gigantic, all-subduing strength that swept into my being from the soles of my feet, as though I stood on a magical battery of some sort and was being charged with magic force — and coursed through my veins until it reached my heart, which it thrilled and inflated with a feel- ing of confidence and phj^sical strength, little short of super- human. No sooner had I felt this ecstatic throb of power in my heart than I shouted in a loud voice: "The Lord liveth ! Let His enemies be scattered ! Advance, Goliath of Gath, to thy humiliation!" With that Goliath flew into a rage that was terrible to witness, but which left me abso- lutely calm and indifferent. I was standing in a nonchalant attitude, except that my shield was on my arm and my arm bent and ready to fly into place should Goliath let fly his spear. The giant, without more ado, raised his right arm, and hurled his weaver's beam of a spear at me. To my amaze- ment, I felt no more shock when it struck my shield than I had when the Indian's arrow fell harmless therefrom. The monstrous spear crashed harmless against my shield, and dropped, broken in two, at the impact. Thereupon Goliath drew his enormous sword, and advanced upon me at the charge, with his huge shield on his left arm. To my utter amazement, I felt no more concern at this than I had at the former threat of death aforesaid. The feeling of super- natural strength aforesaid, if anything, seemed increased rather than diminished, and I rushed to meet his charge with the joy of a Homeric Hero. I shall not now attempt to de- scribe this combat, but shall at some future time. You are getting somewhat, naturally, sleepy now, and need repose after practically incessant writing, bar some three hours' nap, since yesterday evening. Let it suffice to say that the force in my sword-arm was fully equal to that in my shield-arm, and my skill at fence amazed me. Goliath was a skilled 66 swordsman, and, as may be well imagined, a powerful one. But he did not do more than supply a strong foil to show off my dangerous and aggressive attack. He never touched me, whereas I drew blood from his arms and thighs more than once — not deep or dangerous wounds, but ones that bled freely for a few moments. After the fleshing of my blade several times in his carcass, Goliath concluded that I would be a good man to leave alone, and brought the combat to a close with these gutteral words: "Abner, I did thee and thy God gross wrong. I know that the Lord of Hosts is a powerful God, and after Baal and Ashtaroth, worthy to be praised. Abner, take thy prize, and know that Goliath har- bors thee no ill." To which I replied, unconsciously, as al- ways, under said circumstances: "Goliath, speed thee well. I take not thy forfeit, for the glory is to the Lord from whence cometh my strength. May Baal and Ashtaroth bless and reward thee for the greatness of thy soul. Adieu.*' IVhereupon Goliath of Gath disappeared into thin air. Xo sooner had Goliath disappeared than I found myself once more standing on the same spot on the piazza of the Palace, stript of everything but my skin. In front of me. standing this time in front of the familiar bench on the East side of the piazza, stood my keeper foretold by Xapoleon Bonaparte. To my delightful surprise. I saw that said keeper was none other than the said Sister of Charity. I of course, did not know the above from having been so told, but the instant I saw her standing there with a white garment like a Roman toga, depending from her uplifted hands. I divined tha| she was to be my keeper, in very much the same way that female nurses attend male patients in hospitals. Instantly. I was wrapped in the ample fold of the toga. Thereupon, she spoke as follows: "Marshal Xey. you have acquitted your- self well in the heroic struggle you have encountered. You must know that from now on for a considerable time, you will have no more feats of strength, skill, and courage to occupy you, but your preparation will be purely spiritual. I do not wish you to infer from this that you will have to submit to homilies by me or anybody else, on matters religious or moral, but simply that the scientific side of spirituality will be shown you. and the vast field of mind opened up. This field will require some years for you to conquer. You 67 will not clon warlike habiliments again until the aforesaid field has, by your own efforts, been made your own. I shall see } T ou for several hours each day, but for the first year here you will see nobody but myself. Your life will be that of a prisoner condemned to solitary confinement, except that there will be no disgrace connected with your confinement, i) or will it be in a building in the least resembling a gaol. I shall conduct you to your place of abode/' With that we both of us disappeared into the centre of the earth. (Is that "disappeared into the centre of the earth," may I ask?) It is. The action was so incredibly swift and sudden that for the life of me I couldn't tell what had taken place. I dis- covered later the minute details. Briefly the nurse — as I shall in future term her — and I were standing opposite each other on the fatal spot on the piazza, when I felt the floor of the piazza sink beneath me precisely as }^ou feel an elevator in a sky-scraper sink swiftly under your feet when the man in charge has slammed the gate shut. We went with the swift- ness of thought, the nurse and I, down a chute or elevator shaft apparently concealed in the flooring of the piazza. I could see nothing as we shot, as though expelled from a cata- pult, down the pitch black shaft. I noticed a damp, earthy smell, as though on entering a mine shaft. That was the solitary observation I was enabled to make as we whirled downward. At times, I was aware of great heat, but there seemed to be a — so to speak — cool atmosphere that accom- panied us as we descended — as a bank of cool air hangs in a hollow on earth. Through the bank fierce jets of heat at times pierced their way, and they were terrible, but so short-lived that they were hardly noticeable, since the enveloping bank of cool, pure, upper air appeared to continually replenish and renew itself from above as we shot downwards. At the lapse of some five minutes, roughly estimated, a faint ray of light began to be perceptible in our elevator — so to speak. This swiftly broadened and brightened until it was as bright as day when the elevator came to a gradual stop. As it did so, its sides — so to speak — disappeared, and I found myself in a most ravishingly beautiful country. I shall not attempt to describe this now, for reasons already stated — you must go to bed and to sleep. Let it suffice to say that I saw within a few yards of me a building precisely like an old-time Roman 68 Catholic monastery. -There lies thy goal." said the nurse. I shall not touch upon the architecture at this seance. I shall hurry to a close. Before the frowning portal the nurse halted: "Marshal Xey." she said. "Knock and it shall be opened unto you. Seek and ye shall find. For the nonce adieu." With that she disappeared. I approached the gloomy doors and knocked with my right knuckles upon the door. A wicket — so to speak — a small space in the door, opened, and a deep sepulchral male voice said, "Who Knocks?' 5 "Marshal Ney, r I replied, with the usual unconsciousness. "Marshal Xey. enter in the name of the Lord." Whereupon the huge doors slowly swung open, and I beheld a chapel lighted very much as in Ritualistic Protectant Episcopal churches, but less ornate than in the Roman Catholic Church. At the head of the chapel stood the altar, which was also more Ritualistic than Roman Catholic in construction. There were lighted can- ales thereon. I saw no one. The same voice said "Kneel. Marshal Xey. and confess thy sins to God." Whereupon 1 found my knees kneeling naturally. "Pray. Marshal Xey. for the sins of the world." TThereupon I found my lips mov- ing, and low -words issuing from them. At the end of - y, five minutes, the voice said. "Arise, Marshal Xey. and follow me." Of course, as the owner of the voice was absolutely invisible I could not have followed him through the long windings and turnings of the monastery at either side of the said chapel, which I afterwards found was in the centre of the vast pile, had I not found myself once more in the grasp, so to speak, of the friendly current. It pushed me along as gently as it had out of the bed chamber of His Sa- tanic Majesty, and through Xapoieon Bonaparte's Palace. After traversing a building as much vaster than the E scoria! in Spain as the Escorial is vaster than a village chapel, to put it rather mildly. I found myself in front of the door of a cell. The cell door was shut. It was the only doer on that corridor. The voice said "Marshal Xey. behold thy home for years. Enter, and fear not. Adieu." Whereupon the door of the cell opened of itself from within and I entered. The cell was the size of an ordinary large, bedroom. The windows were barred heavily with iron. There were two aspects from the cell : one to the South and one to the West The cell opened on those points of the compass by it^ win- 69 clows. The view to the South disclosed another vast build- ing, whose architecture I shall not now take time to describe. The view to the West embraced a beautiful prospect, which I shall not now describe. Not a soul was in sight nor a sound heard. I next addressed myself to acquainting myself with the furniture in my future home. There was a plain, monk-like bed, comfortably furnished with clothing, and on the walls, to my surprise, were engravings of historic inci- dents, known to mundane history. A large plain table, a chest of drawers, and several chairs completed the furnish- ings in my cell. I saw a second door in the wall. As I approached it opened of itself inward, and to my amazement I found a marble bath sunk into the floor, through which a stream of water was falling from a fountain — carved in the form of a lion's head — the bath and fountain were antique in build and design. Feeling a desire to bathe, I stopped the progress of the stream through the bath, and throwing off my toga, plunged in. The bath was deep enough and large enough to cover my shoulders with water when I stood up, and to allow of my floating and taking a few strokes before reaching either side. After a most refreshing ten minutes, I climbed out by some marble steps let into the side and found what I had not seen before, clean towels precisely like our bath towels. Also I found another costume laid out for me by the side of nry toga, the costume of a Greek when indoors. This I put on and re-entered my cell. So soon as I did, I heard the same voice say "Marshal Ney, prepare thy soul for prayer." Thereupon the idea occurred to me to banish all thoughts from my mind but those of the Deity and ni}' own unworthiness. This I did as best I could. Thereupon the voice said "Kneel," I found a prie-dieu, or kneeling bench, with cushions for the knees, and rest for the head — such as is found in Roman Catholic oratories, for instance. Upon this I kuelt. Thereupon the voice said: "Marshal Ney, know that this place was ordained for thy reception from the foundation of the world. Nothing hap- pens by chance, all is foreordained. Chance exists, but it is only chance in name — actually it is the working out of God's will in the world. Prepare to pray." I once more composed my mind to prayer. Thereupon the voice said, "Marshal Nev, why dost thou think that thou art here? 77 70 Whereupon I unconsciously, as usual, replied "For the good of my soul." "Thou sayest well." replied the voice. "Mar- shal Xey. what dost thou intend to do during thy stay in the monastery?" "I intend to prepare my soul for the grand things in store for it." "Thou sayest well. Marshal Xey. whence comest thou T "From Hell." "Where art thou now?" "In Purgatory." "Thou sayest well. How dost thou propose to prepare thy soul for the grand things in store for it?" "By prayer, fasting, and deep inward searching of the heart." "Thou sayest well. Marshal Xey. whither art thou bound after thy sojourn in Purgatory?" "To rejoin my Emperor in Hell." "Thou sayest well. Marshal Xey, how dost thou propose to deeply, inwardly search thy heart?" "By. first, a study of the Scriptures, in order that I may know what fashion of Being Jehovah is: what fashion of Being Jesus Christ is: and what fashion of Being the Holy Spirit is. By. second^ forming a rule of conduct for my daily guidance in my dealings with my fellow beings, based upon the fashion of Being I shall find Jehovah to be by said study of the Scriptures: and based upon the fashion of Being I shall find Jesus Christ to be by said study of the Scriptures; and based upon the fashion of Being I shall find the Holy Spirit to be by said study of the Scriptures. Upon said two pillars of faith hang all the secrets of life." "Thou sayest. well. Marshal Xey. what thereafter dost thou propose to do ]" "Thereafter I propose to quicken my spirit by prayer, and thoughts on the welfare of the world : and how I. by prayer, may guide and aid the destinies of the world, and my fellow beings." "Thou sayest well. Marshal Xey. what thereafter dost thou propose to doT* "Thereafter I propose to perfect myself in all manner of learning, to the end that I may aid the destinies of the world and my fellow beings as best I may." "Thou sayest well. Marshal Xey. may God strengthen thee in the hour of trial. Farewell." Thereupon I rose from my somewhat cramped — from being somewhat unaccustomed to an adoring attitude — knees, and heaved a profound sigh of relief. Whereupon said voice said " not at hwrmMiy lei ore the idea of Perfection, far th/rt is the essence of true prayer in the form of adoration of th> s - preme Being. Know that from now on thy slighte.-t thought will be answered — unless it requires no answer, either because 71 it is correct, or does not ask an unconscious question of creation, or because it is incorrect and demands correction for the good of thine own immortal soul. Know that from now on knowledge shall take the place of ignorance in thy heart, and certitude, of doubt. Know, moreover, that by strict attention to a high ideal of thought, as loell as of in- tention, as well as of conduct, is the only way in which to achieve thy aforesaid future high and worthy purposes. From now on thou art never alone. I take the place of thy con- science, and shall chide thee, or sparingly praise thee, as does conscience. In no other way can the dictum 'Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect' be attained, than by constant attention to the slightest hint of ideas suggested to your mind by conscience." You may see from the above, my dear Archie, that life below decks has a very serious side*«f# it. A side that bores all wordly people to stupefaction, but a side, nevertheless, that must be cultivated, if one wishes to achieve either Hell or the Underworld and avoid the Kingdom of Sin and Annihilation. Believe me, you have not been more fatigued by the above catechism than was I. I don't wonder at your spelling the pronoun I, e-y-e after the above hours. (Stopped about 4P.M. exact, 8-23-12. J. A. C.) End of first Spirit-Message (alleged) from Hell. L'Envoi. (Houston (Tex.) Post, July 28, 1912.) From the way John Armstrong Chaloner writes, it seems to us that he is bound to be happy. (New York Evening Telegram, August 5, 1912.) See that John Armstrong Chaloner, former husband of Amelie Rives, brother-in-law of Lina Cavalieri has received a "message from hell." No news in that for New York, but if the psychic receives any information from Chicago or the man higher up, would like to hear it. (Portland, (Ore.) Telegram, August 5, 1912.) "HELL'S NOT HALF BAD OLD PLACE, YOU KNOW." Alexandria, Va., August 5. — "Hell isn't a half bad place," according to a friend of John Armstrong Chaloner. This friend, long a resident of the region which Dante once graphi- cally described, has supplemented the observations of the famous Florentine poet and brought hell data down to date in a spirit message to Chaloner, which the latter received by the subconsciousness that is one of his claims to distinction. Chaloner came from his home at Cobham, Va., to-day especially to give this data to the Washington newspaper cor- respondents. The dead friend informed the author that for a while hell was what all preachers claimed for it. But he had finally "paid the piper" and was free from torment. Satan, he said, resembles Napoleon, in appearance, and holds his court in an auditorium room "miles long, miles wide and miles high, built of rubies the size of ordinary building bricks." Chaloner remarked that his correspondent had been a prominent New York Clubman and that he himself "did not believe a word" of the spirit message. 73 (Richmond (Va.) Leader, August 5, 1912. CHALONERS WEIRD DREAM LIKE DANTE'S MAS- TERPIECE ABOUT TERRORS OF HADES. Owner of "Merry Mills" Gives Out Interview Telling of Communication^ With Departed Friend. Going into Alexandria yesterday by prearranged appoint- ment, John Armstrong Chaloner, of "Merry Mills," Albemarle county, astounded his audience, a number of newspaper men, by making several statements of a weird character, among them being that he had recently been in communication with a departed friend, who told him all about that region whose terrors form the theme of D&nte's masterpiece. According to this friend, who communicated with Mr. Chaloner by that subconsciousness which is a gift of the latter, that place Hades is not so bad it has been painted. Mr. Chaloner gave a very vivid description of his vision of Hades. The description follows: A fiery throne. Upon said throne sits Satan. His fea- tures are precisely those of Napoleon Bonaparte at the apex of his power. In height he is considerably taller, but yet under six feet, and regarding weight, there is no surplusage of flesh. He is dressed in the costume of Michelangelo's statue, "The Thinker." The Hall of Audience (Hell) is an immense apartment, so huge as to be practically incomprehensible to mortal ideas of architecture. It is miles long, miles wide, and miles high. The hall is of rubies, and they are of the size, luster and fire of rubies known as "pigeon blood." In place of mortar binding the bricks and making a white Lne, we have diamonds as large as your thumb nail, and of the purest water. To soften and enrich the fiery effect of such splendor, the diamond line is broken every few inches by several inches of sapphires, as blue as the Mediterranean. The floor is of marble, that has the marvelous quality of being capable of taking on the tone of whatever stands upon it, or is reflected upon it, or flies over it. If a cherubim flies over the floor, the marble at once becomes tinged with blood. The roof is of crystal, so pure that the eye can pierce' it as if it were plate glass. 74 NAPOLEON. John Armstrong Chaloner, in his statement in Alexandria yesterday, relative to the message he got from his friend in Hades, alleged that Satan resembled Napoleon Bonaparte. The above brings to mind the theological deductions of an English preacher and writer named Baxter, who flooded the world with literature about a third of a century ago in efforts to induce people to believe that Napoleon or one of his family is the antichrist pictured in the thirteenth chap- ter of the Apocalypse. The preacher imagined that Napoleon III was destined to play havoc in this world by abolishing all semblance of religion. This worthy, however, paid the debt of nature in the early seventies when the preacher switched to his son, the Prince Imperial. The latter fell in the Zulu war, when Prince Pierre Napoleon, an unpopular member of the Napoleon family attracted the attention of Baxter. In time death visited Pierre, and the last of the family, Prince Victor, was fixed upon as the man who was to array himself in defiance of his creator. The latter, so far, has caused no stir in the world. The deductions of the theologian referred to above are curious and interesting. In the thirteenth chapter of the Book of Revelations the antichrist is given a mysterious num- ber — six hundred and sixty-six. It is one of the many biblical puzzles to the learned, although many not learned have imagined they have solved it. Some have played the part of Alexander and cut the knot, but it is still defying the penetration of all Bible readers. The English minister in his theory calls attention to the fact that when the Apoca- lypse was written, figures were not in use and letters were used as numerals. By spelling Napoleon in the dative case — Napoleonti — he made the Greek letters stand for 666. His etymology of the name is as follows: Napos, a thicket; leon, a lion. Hence Napoleon means "Lion of the thicket. " It is said that many Englishmen long after the body of the Corsican had reposed beneath the willows in St. Helena, believed he was still alive somewhere in the world. According to Chaloner, Napoleon resembles his Satanic Majesty, and he may be the scourge who. according to Scrip- 7o ture, is to emerge from the bottomless pit to fulfill the fears of certain Britons. (Richmond (Va.) Virginian, August 5, 1912.) Iffi. CHALONER TAKES ELEVATOR "DOWN." Inspired by the assertions of Andrew Wilson, the scien- tific writer of the Illustrated London News, that none of the so-called mediums had ever succeeded in drawing from the spirit world any message giving real insight into the condi- tions there, or giving any great truth or fact, John Armstrong Chaloners "X-Facnlty," he he terms it, has succeeded in communicating with the shade of a decedent friend and draw- ing from him a very vivid description of the "under world." It has been testified on occasion that Mr. Chaloner is a medium — we have the word of no less an authority than the late Professor James — and when Mr. Chaloner tells us in unequivocal terms that he really went into a trance and re- ceived this alleged spirit message by means of automatism, we must take his word for it; for whatever else might be said, his veracity has never been called into question. We must also believe him when he says that he is a medium "against his will," and he doesn't believe a word of the stuff his own hand sub-consciously wrote. These two facts he sought to impress firmly upon the newspaper correspond- ents to whom he transmitted the mysterious "alleged" mes- sage from the spirit world yesterday; first, that he did not invent the communication, and, second, that he doesn't be- lieve in it himself. He was frank enough to declare that he did believe it was the invention of his "X-Faculty." The disclosures the spirit message pretends to reveal are too serious to be disclosed lightly, perhaps, and whether one believes in the spiritualistic cult or whether he be a scoffer, the communication itself, which we are printing this morn- ing, "makes mighty interestin' readin'." 76 (San Francisco (Cal.) Chronicle, August 6, 1912.) A NEW VISION OF HELL. Not a Bad Sort of a Place at All, According to Mr. Chaloner. It might be more reassuring for those interested in know- ing what sort of a place is reserved for the wicked after death if John Armstrong Chaloner had been permitted to describe more than merely the Audience Chamber of his Satanic Majesty. The picture which he gives us of this room, with its walls of rubies, diamonds and sapphires, is attrac- tive enough, yet doubt is allowed to linger as to the furnish- ings and other appurtenances of the living-rooms of the transient and permanent guests. The fact that Chaloners information came to him through "Graphic automatism" from the spirit of one Thomas Jefferson Miller, a former Confederate officer and member of the Manhattan Club of New York, will undoubtedly be considered by many persons as evidence of authenticity. Cer- tainly Miller, who was on the opposite side to General Sher- man, ought to know what Hell is, and as a New York club- man it is reasonable to assume that his present address is the correct one. According to the message which Chaloner gives the world from his former friend, the Infernal Eegions would seem to be a very tolerable place in which to live. At any rate, the precious stones which ornament the audience chamber of the Prince of Darkness would seem to give to that place very much the same aspect ascribed to heaven with its pearly gates and streets of gold. The floor of marble that has the quality of taking on the color of whatever stands upon or flies over it is another inter- esting touch in the vision. With cherubs and seraphs flitting back and forth, changing the color alternately to red and blue, a kaleidoscopic effect is no doubt produced that would be worth going far to see. It is disappointing not to be told more about this inter- esting place. The glimpse into the audience chamber, with Satan presiding and looking like Napoleon Bonaparte at the apex of his power, cries out for another and completer 77 picture. But perhaps Mr. Chaloner intends to give us this in time, even if he has to go there for it. John Armstrong Chaloner's vision of hell, with an audi- ence chamber built of rubies, diamonds and sapphires, is quite different from the picture Dante gave us. However, it may be a true one. It would be hell to see all these things and not be able to have anv of them. (Sacramento (Cal.) Bee, August 6, 1912.) PLENTY OF HELL ON EARTH FOE NEW YOKKEES. J. A. Chaloner, of Virginia, announces that while in a "subconscious" state he has received from Thomas Jefferson Miller, "a friend in Hell," a message that things are not so bad down there as is generally supposed ; and that as between Hell and Heaven it is all a matter of individual preference and inclination — or words to that effect. Of his own case, Miller says: I have had a very mild torture compared to many other persons in my walk of life; largely because I happened to be a truthful and moderately honest man by nature, and also largely because I had my share of Hell on earth in being a New Yorker of social standing, but no money. On the whole, this must be regarded as cheering informa- tion for many persons. (Boston (Mass.) Morning Globe, August 6, 19120 HELL AND THE DEVIL. Right at the heels of the published opinion that there is no such place comes a sixteen-page, typewritten interview in which a disembodied spirit describes hell in detail and the monarch thereof to John Armstrong Chaloner, the former husband of Amelie Rives. His Satanic Majesty is pictured as of medium height, with the face of Napoleon Bonaparte at the apex of his power and 78 habiliments like those of Michaelangelo's statute, called "The Thinker/' Horns, mark 3^011, are not mentioned. Can it be that the Mephistopheles of our grand opera and tiie labels on our devilled ham constitute a criminal libel upon a person of really respectable appearance? The message declares that the throne room of the chief of the fallen angels has walls of rubies cemented with dia- monds and a marble floor which turns from brilliant red to the cerulean blue of an Italian sky whenever a seraph flies over. This taxes our credulity. Marble cracks and disintegrates when exposed to an in- tense heat. Far easier to believe is the final statement of the com- municating ghost that existence in the nether regions is fairly pleasant compared with living in New York with social stand- ing and no money. (Chicago (111.) Tribune, August 6, 1912.) VIA MR. CHALONER. Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner disarms the skeptical who would pooh-pooh his revelation of hell. Some one called the world over his wires and said Satan looked like Napoleon Bonaparte, that his residence was of marble, rubies and dia- monds, and that the place would be a relief to any man who had been trying to maintain a social position in New York without money. That's the message that came via Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner. As a medium he is neither skeptical nor credulous. A genuine medium is merely a cosmic telephone wire. Mr. Chaloner does not guarantee the good faith of the person on the other end. He thinks it was Thomas Jefferson Miller, but it may have been Artemus Ward, or Mark Twain, or William James, who said he would send back a message if there were any way of doing it. That hell would have no terrors for a man who had been broke in New Yor has been suspected — confidently declared 79 in some instances — and if Mr. Chaloner's message is confirma- tion of the idea it will cause no particular sensation. The most interesting part of the revelation is that Satan looks like Napoleon. That explains the notion prevailing in Eu- rope that the head devil was absent from his domain about 1769 to 1821. (New York Telegraph, August 6, 1912,) Mr. Chaloner selected an appropriate season for receiv- ing his message from Gehenna. He was enabled to read it without waiting for it to cool. (Wayne (Ind.) Gazette, August 6, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner claims to have received a mes- sage direct from a friend in hell. It's a wise man that knows the habitat of his friends. (New York City Telegraph, August 6, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner, always interesting and some- times unique, has learned that "Satan is a gentleman." Hum — he has to be to get away with it. (Chippewa Falls (Wis.) Independent, August 7, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner has received a message from a departed friend stating "Hell is not such a bad place after all," which will no doubt be cheering news to some. (Albany (N. Y.) Press, August 7, 1912.) HOW SATAN LOOKS. John Armstrong Chaloner, the former husband of Amelie Rives, claims to have a sixteen-page typewritten interview in which a disembodied spirit describes Hades and the devil. His Satanic Majesty is described as of medium height and stocky build, with the face of Napoleon Bonaparte and habiliments like those of Michelangelo's statue, "The Thinker." Accord- 80 ing to Chaloner "s report. Satan has no horns. The beef trust will not hail this news with joy. It will now be necessary to change all the labels on deviled ham. (Charleston (S. C.) Courier, August 7, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner avers that he has had a mes- sage from hell. Some of his friends must be living in Texas. (Washington (Pa.) Record, August 7, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner. always interesting and some- times unique, has learned that "Satan is a gentleman." Hum — he has to be to get awav with it. (New Orleans (La.) states, August 8, 1912.) THE PASSIXG SHOTT. According to a spirit message. John Armstrong Chaloner has received from a former friend on earth, "the walls of hell are of rubies the size of building bricks, and the lustre and fire of rubies known as pigeon blood. In place of mortar binding the bricks and making a white line, we have diamonds as large as your thumb-nail and of the purest water. To soften and enrich the fiery effect of such splendor the diamond line is broken every few inches by sapphires as blue as the Medi- terranean." Persons who contemplate going to the place which baloner has so prettily described, should take with them a complete equipment of mining implements. (New York City Tribune. August 9, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner claims to have communicated with a New Yorker in hell. Kindly note that "New Yorker." —Columbia ( S. C.) State. (New Orleans (La.) States, August 9, 1912.) The message which John Armstrong Chaloner has re- ceived from a spirit -ays his Satanic Majesty is a gentleman who has strong Napoleonic features. This tends to strengthen the belief that we are right in thinking that some men we know look like the devil. 81 (Chicago (111.) Blade, August 10, 1912.) HELL IS NOT SO WARM. So Says Message to John Armstrong Chaloner. Friend Describes it for Him, but Author Finds it Hard to Believe— vS' at an Looks Like Napoleon and is Not Criticized by Former New Yorker. Washington, D. C, Aug. 8. — John Armstrong Chaloner, has disclosed to Washington newspaper correspondents a mes- sage he says he has received from the other world. The mes- sage, he asserts, comes from Thomas Jefferson Miller, a for- mer Confederate officer and member of the Manhattan Club of New York City. Gets Description of Satan. After informing the reporters that he did not believe in spiritualism, the former husband of Amelie Eives, the novel- ist, said he had got in touch with the spirit of Thomas Jef- ferson Miller, with whom he had been friendly when Miller was of this world. According to the message Miller admitted he had been bad enough on earth to merit more punishment that he had received, but considering his relief was probably due to the fact that he had had "his share of hell on earth, being a New Yorker with social standing and no money." The message described Satan as of medium height, with the face of Napoleon Bonaparte at the apex of his power,, and the habiliments of Michelangelo's statute, "The Thinker." His Satanic Majesty was seated on a throne in the center of an immense audience chamber. Chaloner acknowledges that he finds it difficult to believe these revelations, and he is offering them to the public "merely for what they are worth." 1 (San Francisco (Cal.) News, August 10, 1912.) Chaloner claims to have a personal message from hell, h stone. but he neglects to say whether or not it smelled of brim 82 (Bridgeport (Conn.) Post, August 1©, 1912.) We have it straight from John Armstrong Chaloner that "Satan is a gentleman." We'll take his word for it. (Columbia (S. C.) State, August 10, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner claims to have received a me* sage from hell. Didn't know that John had any Texas acquaintances. (Nashville (Tenn.) Tennessean, August 11, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner has undertaken to enlighten the world as to what the devil looks like. This is one subject on which we prefer to remain everlastingly in the dark. (New York HeraM, August 12, 1912.) ME. CHALOXEE TO TALK OX XOMIXEES. Hires a Hall in Richmond for Lecture Series and Invites Representatives of all Parties. Eichmond. Va.. Sunday. — John Armstrong Chaloner. who recently startled the country with a psychic message from Hades, which he said he had received from a friend who de- parted this life some years ago, has pronounced that he has rented a hall in Eichmond for a series of lectures. He will give the first lecture the first Wednesday night in September, and will have as his subject Presidential Can- didates. Invitations will be sent to twenty representative men r filiated with each of the four leading parties in Eichmond — Eepublican, Democratic, Progressive and Socialist. He will reserve spaces for prominent labor men. Mr. Chaloner proposes to give such lectures before the Xovember election. 83 (Norfolk (\*a.) Pilot, August 12, 1912.) CHALONER WILL DELIVER LECTURES. Rents Hall in Richmond — %h Discuss Presidential Candidates Wednesday. Richmond, Va., Aug. 11. — John Armstrong Chaloner, who recently startled the country with a psychic message from Hades, which he claimed to have received from a friend who departed this life some years ago, is out with another surprise. This time, he announces that he has rented a public hall in Richmond for a series of lectures, which promise to be as interesting and unique as anything he has yet sponsored. He will give the first lecture the first Wednesday night in September and will have as his subject the presidential candidates. He will discuss their qualifications for the office, and in so doing will be coldly remote, as he very aptly ex- pressed it tonight. In other words, he will handle his sub- ject purely from the standpoint of a law writer and student of current events and actions. (Cleveland (Ohio) Leader, August 12, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner claims to have communicated with a New Yorker in hell. But he fails to tell what ward of the metropolis he located him in. (South Norwalk (Conn.) Sentinel, August 12, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner, always interesting and some- times unique, has learned that "Satan is a gentleman." Hum — he has to be to get away with it. — New York Telegraph. (Chattanooga (Tenn.) Times, August 1§, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner says he has received a mes- sage from hell. Unfortunately, it was of a private nature and no light was thrown on opinion down there as to the Bull Moose platform. (Omaha (Neb.) Bee, August 13, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner's revised vision of Dante's In- ferno, bringing into view a picture of surpassing sweetness and light, afford- : issurance that the fall's output of po- liticial hot air will sweeten political terur. Smmbc Falls (S.D.) Press, August 13, 1912.) Hie contention :: the IntemationaJ Bible Students, th : there is no hell, goes a-glininiering now that Mr. John Arm- strong Chaloner'- message from the anting regions is : public. (Schenectady (X. Y.) Star, August 14, :i«l2.) John Armstrong Chaloner asserts th : he communicated with New Yorker in hell. The transplanted G th probably didn't feel any unusual chan^ (Richmond (Va.) Journal, Angnst 14, 1912.) With the Bible students" eifort : : lieate the present ideas of hell and John Armstrong Chalor-: - -ritualistic interview that it really exists in a not objectionable manner. I nte's Inferno must take a back ae : — 1 - ?kstone >:ringfield (ILL) Register. August 1-5. 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner claims to have communic: : with a New Yorker in hell. But he fails to tell what ward : the metropolis he loe:.: this policeman in. llr^LZ'-ts IrZZ £; V AV.g"-5: 1". 1>1- _ Chaloner claims to have conim with - rker in hell. But he fails : tell w] r the : >polis he located him in. (Keokuk : August 15, 1912 John Arms . haloner's re vised vision of I : In- ferno, bring:: inf of surpassing and light, affords no assurance that the fall's output of politi- rrten political tempt (Raleigh : : Observer, August 15, 1 "_ Jol: a loner makes announceme: a mighty warm pL at rig : he mercury doing the climb- 85 ing stunt. Let's hold it over till the ice-wagon is replaced by the coal cart. (New Orleans (La.) Times, August 18, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner claims to have communicated with a New Yorker in hell. But he fails to tell what ward of the metropolis he located him in. — Cleveland Leader. (Brockton (Mass.) Times, August 20, 1912.) John Armstrong Chaloner has undertaken to enlighten the world as to what the devil looks like. An}' office boy can tell us that, however, particularly on an afternoon when his request to get off for the ball game is refused. (Richmond Times-Dispatch, September 5, 1912.) CHALONER TALKS TO LABORING MEN. Sai/s Wilson Will Win. Chaperox for Coxgress. Would Have "Plain People" Send a Delegation to Washing- ton to Sit on Lid. For one hour by the clock last night John Armstrong Chaloner, millionaire master of "Merry Mills," addressed an audience which occupied every available foot of floor space in Thompson Hall, 20 East Broad Street. He stepped lightly to the candidacy of Theodore Roosevelt and "Woodrow Wil- son, dismissing these two worthies with only a passing refer- ence. The Roosevelt reference amounted only to an endorsement of his stand for the recall of judges. Of the Colonel's twin doctrine of the recall of judicial decisions, said Mr. Chaloner, he was by no means in favor, because "absolute justice in the inscrutable scheme of things was sometimes unattainable." The recall of judicial decisions, carried to its logical conclusion, said the master of "Merry Mills," would mean that in place of the trained careful mind of an upright and honest judge, whose only object in life is to dispense justice from 86 the bench, there would be substituted the — in said particular only — utterly untrained impulses of the populace. Thixks Wilson Wm Win. Although Mr. Chaloner. in his reference to TVoodrow Wilson, expressed the opinion that the Jersey man would win cut next November, he took him to task for signing, about a year ago. what he designated as a '•monstrously un- constitutional and anarchistic sterilization bill." "I shall simply say." said Mr, Chaloner. concluding his remarks upon the Governor of Xew Jersey, "that when Gov- ernor TToodrow TTilson is elected President of the United States — as I believe he will be — I trust that he will be sur- rounded by abler advisers than when, as Governor of Xew Jersey, he put his hand to such an infamous bill." The speaker took the audience by surprise when he stopped short in the middle of a sentence at the beginning of his Wilson reference and asked that the women in the audience retire for three minutes. The twenty women pres- ent withdrew, returning at the appointed time. Ma^s-Meetixg Clubs. One-half of Mr. Chaloner's address was devoted to the outlining of a scheme for the organization of what he called "Mass-Meetiug Clubs" in every city. town, county and voting precinct in the United States. Each State capital, under this plan, would have a Mass- Meeting Club composed of delegates from the clubs in the smaller State political units, and would, in turn, send two delegates to a 'National Mass-Meeting Club, which would sit in Washington during the sessions of Congress to "chaperon" that body and make known to it the wishes of the plain peo- ple in matters of legislation. The present meeting, said the speaker, was the initial effort in the realization of the plan. Until plans could be devised for financing the scheme of clubs, he said, he will assume himself all expenses incident to the Richmond meet- ings, which he proposed holding fortnightly from now until the end of the presidential campaign. He announced that 87 he will speak again on the evening of Wednesday, Septem- ber 18 and that he would uncork some "hot stuff." Scores "Silk- Stocking Brigade." In the course of his address, Mr. Chaloner found time to address himself scathingly to the "silk-stocking brigade," which he said was responsible for the great mass of national and political insincerity. "When young — at school or at college — the hearts of the silk-stocking brigade," said Mr. Chaloner, "being yet un- spoiled and uncorrupted by society and business life, are as sound, spontaneous and pure as the hearts of the plain peo- ple. But the trouble is that it doesn't last." (Richmond Virginian, September 5, 1912.) CHALONER WILL ORGANIZE CLUBS OYER COUN- TRY, BEGINNING IN CITY OF RICHMOND. Says Something About Candidates. Distinguished Citizen of Merry Mills Also Pays Respects' to Silk Stocking Brigade. Figuring for the first time — and unwillingly — in the role of public speaker, John Armstrong Chaloner last night un- folded to a curious audience in Thompson Hall the unique plan by which he hopes to accomplish the remedying of evils with which the people are afflicted by reason of sumptuary legislation. Mass-Meeting Clubs, which shall be "senates of the peo- ple," designed to preserve the "Absolute Rights of the Indi- vidual," with headquarters in the capital of every State in the Union and national headquarters at Washington, is the cherished ambition of the master of "The Merry Mills," and he announced that he proposed to hammer away at his idea with fortnightly meetings in Richmond until this nucleus of the nation-wide organization was able to stand alone. Then he would carry the work into other fields. 88 Requests Women to Leave. When Mr. Chaloner arrived — fifteen minutes late — he found a crowd of from two to three hundred, which included a dozen women, one of them an announced suffragette, await- ing him. He read his address from manuscript, and before he had proceeded far with it created much amusement among his audience by politely requesting that the ladies retire for just two minutes; at the end of that time he would be glad to have them return. This request came at the period when Mr. Chaloner had disposed of Colonel Roosevelt and was about to enter upon a protest against a measure which Gov- ernor Wilson had indorsed as Governor of Xew Jersey. When he concluded his reference to the Xew Jersey measure he asked that some one request the ladies to return "if they are still there." Six of them were and they filed back into the hall. One or two of the women expressed indignation at tlie request; and immediately left the building. Others took it philosophically, realizing that the meeting was intended for the sterner sex, and while the newspaper invitations extended an invitation to the ''general public,*' women were not speci- fied as is usual in such cases. The incident was evidently embarrassing to Mr. Chaloner. Mr. Chaloner touched briefly upon policies of Roosevelt and Wilson from the standpoint of constitutional law; took a fall out of the "silk-stocking brigade", hit the pension steal a hard lick, and expounded in detail and at length his plans for the formation of Mass-Meeting Clubs. Despite the insufferable atmosphere of the hall, his audi- ence gave him the closest attention and occasional applause, and when the address — which occupied nearly an hour in read- ing — was concluded about fifty pressed forward to shake his hand and procure tickets for the next meeting, many of them assuring Mr. Chaloner of their sympathy with the intention to support the Mass-Meeting Club plan. The Presidential Candidates. Coming to the matter of the presidential candidates from the "standpoint of constitutional law," Mr. Chaloner said : "I shall first take up the proposition of Colonel Theodore Roosevelt, concerning the recall of judicial decisions. 89 "Before touching that I shall say that I am in hearty accord with Colonel Roosevelt concerning the recall of judges. "Concerning the recall of judicial decisions, however, I cannot say that I am in accord with Colonel Roosevelt. "We occupy the earth. We are not yet inhabitants of either Eutopia, or Paradise. Such being the case, justice — the most enlightened possible justice in this world — is at times, alas, a choice between evils. By which I mean that just de- cisions, at times, work injustice, and hardship; and must do so, until the end of time, and the advent of the millennium; the sacl. but simple reason being that, apparently, absolute justice is meant — in the inscrutable scheme of things — to be sometimes unattainable. "Concerning the Sterilization Bill signed by Governor Woodrow Wilson about a year ago: "I shall preface my remarks by saying that I am some- what surprised that this important measure has not received more attention from the press. "Without the least desire to appear egotistical, it appears that I am about the only man in the United States who was struck with the ominous danger to the absolute rights of the individual, and bold defiance of clue process of law, lurking in said measure. "I, therefore, as a law writer, mindful of my oath — when admitted to the bar of New York over a quarter of a cen- tury ago — to protect the Constitution of the United States from attack by illegal legislation, for example — at once, the very same day that I saw that the governor had signed said measure, wrote to the New York Tribune — in which paper I had read said news item — protesting vigorously against Governor Wilson's said action. "When Governor Woodrow Wilson is elected President of the United States — as I believe he will be — I trust that he will be surrounded by abler advisers than when, as Gov- ernor of New Jersey, he put his hand to such an infamous bill." About Silk Stockings. Mr. Chaloner then paid his respects in no uncertain terms to the idle rich, or "silk stocking brigade," saying in part : 90 "The Richmond Yirginiari in announcing this course of addresses in its issue of August 12th, last, said : *Mr. Chaloner made it plain last night that the plain people were the ones he hoped to reach with his series of addresses, and to the plain people he extended a free and hearty welcome. The silk stocking brigade would oblige him by staying away." ' ; "When young — at school or at college — the hearts of the 'silk stocking brigade' being yet unspoiled and uncorrupted by society and business life, are as sound, spontaneous and true as the hearts of the plain people. But the trouble is that it doesn't last. I am merely calling on my class knowledge — the ultimate experience I have had with all classes of men, rich and poor, good and bad, exemplary and criminal — gathered in a busy and studious life of fifty years' duration — in order to explain why I am not pla}dng to the gallery in my quoted remarks in 'The Eichmond Virginian] that 'the silk stocking brigade' would oblige me by staying away'." At this the speaker reiterated the fact that he intended to remain neutral in politics believing that nonpartisanship was essential to achieve the reform he had set out to accom- plish, and in detail explained to his audience his main pur- pose — the organization of "Mass-Meeting Clubs," he "said. I propose to inaugurate in time — it may take a life time — a Mass-Meeting Club in every large city and in every capi- tal of every State in this Union, including the capital of the United States, namely, Washington. The organization of all Mass-Meeting Clubs in all State capitals, or what I shall term Capital Mass-Meeting Clubs, would differ from all other Mass- Meeting Clubs in the following respect: The membership of the Capital Mass-Meeting Clubs — one in each State capital in the United States — of the forty- eight States, would include at least one representative from other Mass-Meeting Clubs in the State; so that when the legislature was in session here — for example — we should have with us, to aid us in our deliberations, brother members from all over the State. For my purpose is, not to confine Mass- Meeting Clubs to cities, but to spread out and capture the counties, townships, and voting precincts of every State in the Union. And thus take the real government of the country — the government of 91 the United States — out of the hands of politicians and place it where it belongs, namely, in the hands of the plain people of the United States in mass meeting assembled. (New York Herald, July 16, 1912.) A RESPECTFUL SUGGESTION. In setting aside a large part of his patrimony f for educa- tional purposes in the South, Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner has done a praiseworthy thing. If we may be permitted to offer a suggestion it will be that he devote a portion of his iroble endowment to a chair of English prose composition, to be filled by himself so long as he may be spared to a grateful nation. The rather florid style of rhetoric that still obtains south of Mason and Dixoms line was well adapted to the easy going days when people had time to enjoy the well rounded periods and glowing metaphors of literary dignity. The South has entered upon an age of energy and accomplish- ment that calls for terser forms of expression. Who in all this broad land is better fitted to teach the art of concise epigrammatic writing than the author of that model of brevity that flashed up from the Southland, a mes- sage of good cheer, rich in suggestion and surcharged with the sub-acid quality, "TvTkvs Looney Now?" tOne million dollars. HELL By JOHN AEMSTEONG CHALONEE. "The volume is a wonderful work as books go, and its title represents adequately its contents." — Eichmond, Vir- ginia, "News-Leader" October 28, 1912. "This last work of Mr. Chaloner is literature. John Milton has not got much in the way of word paint- ing on John Armstrong Chaloner and Thomas Jefferson Mil- ler, when they get together over the long distance. The author may rest assured that his book will be read." — Eichmond, Virginia, Evening Journal, October 30, 1912. 9-2 A MESSAGE FROM HELL. Jolin Armstrong Chaloner has just written a book en- titled '"1-1611/* which he declares is an account of his study in graphic-automatism. The book, which is dedicated to Dante. John Milton and John Bunyan, described as the author's "illustrious predecessors in this dread domain." tells in weird and picturesque language the experiences in Hell of one Miller, a former friend of the author, from whom Mr. Chalcner received the messages by means of what he calls The X-Faculty. Mr. Chaloner has opened up a new. if some- what red-hot. field of modern literature. — Richmond. Virginia. Times-Dispatch, October 30. 1912. The Infernal Comedy Canto One BY JOHN ARMSTRONG CHALONER "THE INFERNAL COMEDY" IN MEMORIAM DURANTE. The womb of Death and Hell will now unfold The awful secrets of their Mystery The upthrow will at times the blood run cold And make the reader curse this History. But fear or favour strangers are to me — The meek recorder of these dreadful things — I tell the story as 'twas told to me With blunt veracity the whole thing rings. As "Medium" — so-called — to me did come Across the Gulf of Death long-distance call From dear-loved friend who'd gone to his long home Who knew my number — rang me up — that's all. For those who treat me fair all's fair and well For those who don't the road runs straight to Hell. II By "automatic writing" did he weave A web as pictured as Penelope's Of deeds so dark stout hearts contracted heave When the mind's eye their blood and Hell-fire sees. I tell the story as 'twas told to me Telling the same with every — all reserve Giving and asking no credulity Save for the telling o't my meed of nerve. I'll let my friend Tom Miller speak for me — He tells the tale I turn same into rhyme — Continuing the Ancient History Called "Hell" which I did write once on a time. So far so good fair dames and sportsmen all I'll now proceed — and G — cl protect my "gall"! 96 III In "Hell" — writ by Tom Miller as is this — Save there his words in prose are straight set down — Twas shown that Satan is God's friend I wis His mighty right arm to protect His throne. That Sin Personified's another thing That Sin Personified's God's enemy Upon whose head anathema doth fling And 'twixt whom and Satan there's dread enmity. That Hell's heroic and a Paradise For brave romantic souls who follow war Other abodes there are for milder eyes And "twixt Hell and Sin's vast Kingdom there's grim war. That Satan reigns in Hell. God's deputy Cominof and sroins: as in Job we see. IV ■' 'Artie 'f my boy. 'tis after many years — Five stricken years as I do make it out — That once again I ; calT the Vale of Tears On Hell's Long-Distance and thus hunt you out. My tale 111 take up where I did leave off Or. rather. I'll hark back to how souls land — The instant following their taking off — Upon the verge of this most awful strand. My landing was. you know, exceptional And straight to Satan's Bed-Chamber did go Thus exceptional was I to nearly all Who land upon this strand of dreadful woe. The reason was my lot on earth was fell I passing honest, hence I won in Hell." fOur Great-Grandfather — on the Distaff side — the late William B. Astor, of New York — gave us that name as being the only diminutive possible fcr "Armstrong." Me being a college chum of Schopenhauer, being logical — if nothing else. Thomas Jefferson Miller evidently prefers the stricter etymology of "Artie" to "Archie," when communi- cating Under the auspices of the Muse — the latter being a distillation from "Armstrong" which has nothing etymological in it, and was merely the haphazard attempt of an infant relative to pronounce "Armstrong." 97 "And other reasons, too, mysterious Which need not here be entered on at all Twould make my story seem too devious Too deep replete with bitterness and gall. So let it go for what it's widely worth And open now thine alabaster ear — Thine ear was shapely and cool pink on earth — Lend it me now my dreadful words to hear. In Satan's Chamber there's an Oeil de Boeuf Which doth command all Hell — her vast expanse — From Torture- Chambers where Fiends 'cut up' rough To flowery P'leasance where sweet Fairies dance. To's Chamber from my penitential cell I monthly came — the sight did pay me well." VI "111 take a soul when it arrives in Hell - A man's grim soul — fair woman's later on — And what said soul goes through viridic tell — On earth my record was a truthful one. But bear in mind I do not tell it all Some things there be are draped in mystery Which can't be told till flesh from soul doth fall And face to face the soul its Judge doth see. But these are things beyond the reach of man He couldn't guess them in a million years. So — believe me — the Hell I'll bid you scan Will satisfy your doubts if not — your fears. "Mow brace yourself my friend — call up your nerve None but the coldest chilled steel now may serve!" 98 VII "I saw a Judgment Hall before me rise Rich draped in ruby red — the ceiling gold Much like unto our earthly Courts in size Save that the air thereof was rich not cold. Upon the bench a figure dread did sit In antique Roman armour clad was he A red paludament did drape o'er it His sword hilt peeped beneath it brilliantly. Such face on earth I never, never saw So stern — so awful in its majesty Severe inflexibility sans flaw Justice's enfeatured self did meet mine eye! Alone upon that awful bench sat he Imperial in his awful majesty." VIII "Beside the dock stood a Centurian Armed at all points and leaning on his spear Th' expression that his lean shaved face had on Was one to chill the stoutest heart with fear. No other beings were there in this Hall Whose utter silence almost could be felt A silence that the bravest would appal — If to that Judge in suppliance they knelt. Sudden a pon'drous door that faced the bench Did open with a sullen sombre clang As unseen hands the might}' knob did wrench Admitted guarded soul then closed with bang. A naked man betwixt two soldiers grim Then slowly crossed the Hall — clothed but in 's skin." 99 IX "His Majesty Satanic had been pleased To name a day when one of our club-friends — 'Manhattan' Club — from the flesh was released And was — in consequence — on his beam ends. Being a sailor I employ that term To paint a man in case most desperate A state of facts that doth contain no germ Of safety — in which none is situate. Egotist, liar and a hypocrite His very common faults lump-summed up were — Outside of that a gentleman polite Who never orwe in Fashion's Code did err. You hated him. I wish you'd seen his face When he that marble bench and Jud^e did face." "The two soldiers grim into the marble dock Escorted our swell friend of former years And once within the gate itself did lock — The soldiers at each side leaned on their spears. The awful Judge then slowly turned his head — His eyes before had gazed on vacancy — And gazed upon the trembling recent-dead With a gaze it chilled my very soul to see. It was as though a knife shot from his eyes And pierced the heart's core of the looked-upon A gaze ice-cold, immune to all surprise A gaze that conjured up the Book of Doom. The sinner's knees gave way and down he fell All of a heap, inert, mixed up, pell mell!" 100 XI "The Judge then sounded on a golden gong — A glistening disc of gold hung by his hand — When a small door to's right swift open swung And entered in a female fair and bland. This maiden garbed was as is a Nun Save that her head-dress showed her lustrous hair Her face my eyes did ravished gaze upon I never in my life saw one so fair. Upon her arm she bore a mantle soft A vial and a glass were in her hand The soldiers raised the sinner straight aloft And mantle o'er him threw when he did stand. The maid th' elixir then raised to his lips Tipping it with her rosy finger tips." XII "The magic liquor coursed down his throat And swift the sinner's senses did revive. Whilst his 'mazed e}^es did on the maiden gloat An 'attitude' he aimed to contrive. For he pursued the sex when on the earth And widely as a 'masher' known was he And as of the 'long green' t he knew no dearth For lust he was a 'spender* — spender free! The Judge took in this little comedy Although his iron face gave ne'er a sign The soldiers too looked on in irony Thinking upon his pending pains condign. The maiden with serene indifference Resumed the vial and departed thence." fGreenbacks. 101 XIII u The small door closed softly after her Whereon the sinner's face did sadly fall And he heaved a sigh as from a sepulchre Shuddered, and round him closely drew his pall. Once more the Judge turned on him his dread gaze And coldly measured him from top to toe The gaze this time the sinner did not 'faze' Th' elixir magical did buoy him so. But as he gazed the sinner felt a chill Creep slowly down his spine and raise his hair It conjured up the phrase re 'looks that kill 5 Of pending danger made him swift aware. He braced himself against the Judge' grim word And well he might — for this is what he heard." XIV " 'Sinner give ear unto my final words. The sins thou'st done on earth shall straight begin Upon that screen — as actors on the boards — As they were done in life to whirl and spin. The maids thou hast seduced thou'lt there seduce — The deed as done on earth thou'lt there do o'er The crimes which lovely maidens did reduce Unto the frightful status of a . Each kiss thou gavest shalt thou give again And each caress and stroke of stealthy lust Each sundry gesture made, there view with pain Nor miss an attitude — for look thou must. Thou mayest sit. Thy limbs would fail thee sure When thou dost witness thy fell acts impure.' r 102 XY '•The brazen tones that rolled athwart his lips — Not loud but hard and resonant as brass — Could scarcely wound more had they barbed tips And through the sinner's beating heart did pass. Scarce had dread silence settled in their wake Than on a screen across the Judgment Hall A sight appeared which made the sinner quake — Nought but his sitting posture saved a fall. A maiden and himself he there did see In semblance like as life — life's colours — all! Sitting beneath a low umbrageous tree A maiden whom he lured unto her fall. He made to turn away but felt a spear Held by each soldier hard upon each ear." XVI u He groaned aloud as the scene did progress Started to raise his hands to shade his eyes When two sharp spear points did those hands caress But yet did not draw blood — to his surprise. As all the act of love was there portrayed — The sacred act no eye may gaze upon — His breath came short as he grew dread dismayed And in his anguish leaned the spears upon! Their points did pierce his flesh but no blood came Their points were torture but less than the sight Of his unutterate and nameless shame At sight that seemed his very sight to blight. He groaned and sobbed and from his eyes shot tears Which stung his cheek as did his arms the spears." 103 XVII u No sooner was this scene in anguish viewed Than fell adultery shot on the screen And in a scene with treachery imbued He debauched the wife of one whose friend he'd been. In sinister procession then went on Each act of selfishness through lust he'd done Perforce of spears each act he looked upon Nor missed a posture — not a single one. His other vices then did troop in view — Mendacity and foul Hypocrisy — Full many a lie and act did he then rue Thrown on the screen for Judge and him to see. In less time than it takes the thing to tell He felt assured his place was right in Hell." XVIII "And when at last this suffering was o'er He looked upon the Judge — the Judge on him — And then began to suffer even more On thinking what he'd pay for this his sin — Something akin to pity in the eye Of his most awful vis-a-vis he gleaned And from his bosom heaved a mighty sigh And on his storm-tossed soul some faint hope beamed. The Judge — who saw these signs — encouraged them Unbent his awful brows and almost smiled — At all events did lighten his grim phlegm And seemed by pity for the nonce beguiled. The sinner upward shot his first short prayer Of which Recording Angel was aware." 104 XTX '"The Judge began in tones metallic-hard — 'Sinner. tuy ' :.. I u " lei-ree t: thee. Upon the wheel till :: jken - a shard Thou shalt revolve and writhe in agony. Two rawny Fiends with rm Ilets of chilled steel Shall bray thy ribs nd arms, thy lim i s in 1 thighs Shall break and rend till thou hast ceased to feel Till Lush in agony yells, groans and sighs. This lone >ne hundred years in penance dire In penitential fast varied with pain Till purged are thy foul sins in Hell's own hre Lo ! I nave spoken. Further words are vain." He rose and stalked thro' a :1 : w vt's rear Leaving the sinner paralyzed by fear." XX "The stern Centurian then roused him And rose : : from leaning on his spear Stroke! with his horny hand his shaven chin And said in tones metallic — trumpet clear — 'Soldiers to work — and rouse that sinner there The dog has had his day — Hell now has her's. The Judge 'threw i-to him' a v. re::-.- =care He always does when le ling with such curs. The scare he's had is not a eirenmstance To the scare he will have when he doth see The Fiends of Vengeance round him dance and prance Before they start him forth his weird to dree. When ye attain the grade Centurion Ye'll marvel at the sisrhts mv eves sraze on.' 105 XXI "The soldiers stiffened, then gave the salute Mounted the dock and seized the prisoner All huddled in a mass, inert and mute And straightway shook him to — both then and there. He rolled his eyes in agony around He gasped and moved his lips in vacancy His senses numb and foggy as a swound His thoughts chaotic as in infancy. The soldiers swiftly pulled him on his feet And thrust their shoulders underneath each arm Thus boosting him along with steps full fleet But at the same time doing him no harm. At said small door they touched a silver bell A silvery voice said: 'Enter. All is well'." XXII "The door swung open and the soldiers paused Upon the threshold — bending rev'rently. This act in them unusual was caused By the sweet maiden in her dignity. 'I thank thee, soldiers 7 — said she in that voice As sweet as water falling in one's sleep In which the tones as rich as they were choice Were varied as the murmurs of the deep — 4 I thank thee, soldiers, for thy courtesy In bringing to me thus the new-arrived Whom I assure will look less piteously Once at my hands he has been duly shrived.' The soldiers pushed him in. The door swung to. The three then left the Court sans more to do." 106 XXIII "The sinner drew his first un straitened breath As his dazed eyes gazed on this lovely Nun. And felt as though he'd 'scaped the jaws of Death As her entrancing face he gazed upon. Expert in beauty he did swift take in The wondrous beauty of the face he saw How like to alabaster was her skin The pink therein all matchless — sans all flaw. The lips were full as they were beautiful And delicate as they were rosy red But o'er them hung a shadow sorrowful As one in love, deep loveth one — long dead. Her eyes glowed 'neath her brows like two grey stars Which have lit battlefields at night — grim Mars." XXIV "Her figure full as it was virginal Showed her round bust by girdle at the waist. Lissome and willowy and somewhat tall The air of her as mountain ice was chaste. The sinner heaved a deep and piteous sigh — As sad as wind across a wintry sea — As this pure beauty met his wanton eye — This chastity his bestiality. He sighed and blushed and sighed then groaned aloud Then dropped upon his knees as tho' shot dead And kissed her garment's hem as 'twere her shroud Then hushed him as in presence of the dead. The maiden nothing said and nothing did Save — 'fore her eyes — a tear stood on each lid." 107 XXV "Slowly the sinner rose upon his feet Then bowed his head in all humility. The Nun then said in voice as music sweet 'Spite of thy doom I may encourage thee' — The sinner started at th' unlooked for words — The maiden raised her finger warningly. 4 Beware!' she said 'for my hint dread accords With toil and pangs will wring the heart of thee.' As sudden frost kills flowers in a night These dreadful words the sinner's heart did chill And filled his very soul with deadly fright And in an instant new-born hope did kill. 1 'Courage! I did but caution thee' she said ''Justice*, HeTl rules. And God is overhead.' " XXVI " 'Now follow me and I shall lead the way Unto the quarters due allotted thee. Which same thou wilt inhabit many a day Until — thy penance done — thou shalt be free.' She spake and glided onward as in a dream Almost sans motion one sees figures move As noiseless as a leaf floats on a stream As graceful in her poise as hov'ring dove. A sombre corridor they traversed Hewn from black marble interlined with gold And thereupon a wide cell entered Built of white marble full as chaste as cold. A cushioned marble bench she sat upon And motioned the sinner to a second one." 108 XXVII "An iron pallet in a corner stood With ample drapery in place thereon At's head hung a Monk's garb — the gown and hood — At sight of which he scarce repressed a frown. She saw the frown but let the action pass. A table with some books stood near at hand Ith 5 corner, basin, ewer and a glassf A chair, and chest, too, were at his command. A door ajar showed him a marble pool Sufficient deep and long some strokes t'accord His heart since mounting penitential stool Here first gave birth unto a sunny chord. Bars of pure gold did arm each window sill And hope of all escape did instant kill." XXYIII " 'Xow our first lesson shall I now begin' The maiden said and smiled bewitchingly. 'I am thy teacher all the time thou'rt in* — 'A hundred hundred years!* He gasped beseechingly. 'A hundred years' she smilingly replied. 'Time's nothing to us here — ice grow not old' — Here — since his death — for tlr first time he gay cried T understand thy point — I make so bold.' The maiden smiled and bowed gracefully 'Hell hath her charms — when once "thy bit" thou'st done. Thou'st no conception how the years roll by And how — tho' yet in Hell — there may'st be fun. Hell — of all places — thou in time wilt find — Of all and sundry — is the most maligned'." fLooking-glass. 109 XXIX ''God is the God of love and not of hate. He sends his rain on just- and the unjust — From time to time I aphorism state From time to time because — I simply must. You see the secret of all life in Hel] Is hid in just one word — one little word. You'll laugh when I to thee the word shall tell For 'tis so simple that 'tis just absurd. The word is: "Thought" — Ha! Ha! I see thee start — The sinner started had and turned dead pale And on his brow the sweat in beads did start He cowered on his bench — he e'en did quail. *My God! My God!' he cried 'my whole life long To stifle thought was th' burden of my song'/' XXX " ; And that is why we women find that Hell Is far less hot than it is said to be. Because if I to thee the truth must tell We women think far, far, far more than thee! From when we're tiny tots we're taught to think Lest from our mouths should pop some naughty word — Not gross of course — but to make Grundy blink — Naught coarse, of course, but something plump absurd. This "totine" training makes us by and by Look sharp as weasels at the words we use. And erej-j word we weigh, and dust and try To make full sure the word can't bring abuse. In other words we think from morn till night Not on high lines perhaps, but what is right'." 110 XXXI " 'Whereas you men despise the name of thought — You'd rather walk a mile than think a minute — Unless to think ye have been duly, bought Unless ye: think because "there's money in it." Hence, when ye get to Hell ye 're in despair For "thought" is here the crowning word of all It floats serenely on the very air 'Tis sword and buckler against Hell her gall. Therefore, fair sir, I'll straight teach thee to think To think on lines of logic — sound and hard — The effort now would cause thine eyes to blink But in good time thou 'It play the winning card. One hundred years gives thee time to turn round And say — at last — "The secret I have found." " XXXII "The newcomer then fixed his eye on her And murmured in a maze: 'One hundred years P Then with a start cried out : 'By Jupiter ! The time for preparation soothes my fears!' The maiden swift replied: 'You're very right' — For time is everything in Hell you'll find. By time you train your sinews for the fight By time you train the powers of your mind. When you are ready for the great essay When to the wheel you do with pride advance You then the role of hero stern will play And glory that you have the dreadful chance. For as you rule the powers of your mind Just so' from torture full relief you!ll find." Ill XXXIII " 'The Scriptures give one picture sole of Hell — The one where Dives in the throes is seen — Where — by the way — Dives plays his part well And better than his play could not have teen. He first did follow Nature's mighty law — Self-preservation did he full pursue. Then when he found that his "attack" held flaw Prayers for his brothers then did swift ensue. Herein doth lie the complete key to Hell Think first far thyself: next for others strive — In speaking thus I thus the story tell Thus doing thou dost save thy soul alive,' The newcomer drank in her every word And thought: 'This is my job — howe'er absurd'." XXXIV '' 'So now, fair sir, this talk draws to an end I must leave thee to ponder on my words Bearing in mind in me thou hast a friend Whose aim — to save thy soul — with thine accords.' Thus speaking she did rise with dignity And towards the newcomer extend her hand Which he did grasp with Passion's rhapsody Which she sustained with calm and aspect bland. She said: 'I leave thee now for thirty days At end of which again shall I appear To further lecture thee upon the ways That spell salvation, and thy soul win clear. Farewell. And hear in mind there is a God To Whom all things in Hell bow — to Whose nod\" 112 XXXV "Thv.s speaking did she float swift from the cell Or seemed to float so lightly did she move. The new-arrived encircled by her spell Muttered t 'himself : 'That creature do I love.' He then did heave a devastating sigh A sigh t'iat seemed his very lungs to crack Then brushed away a tear from either eye And th«-n reclined at ease upon his back. Thus gazing at the ceiling of the cell A voice broke on his ear — deep and sonore — 'How likest thou thy first view, sir, of Hell I trust it is not one unbroken bore.' The new-arrived rose swiftly to his feet And glanced about in hopes this male to meet." XXXVI " 'You'll look in vain for me — my worthy sir I am a voice — a voice and nothing more — I supplement the future work of her Whose lovely form has just passed through that door. I am thy conscience speaking loud to thee — That conscience which hath whispered all in vain That conscience thou didst slur so shamelessly — You threw me out out here I ami again! And here, my friend, I have thee "dead-to-rights" — Stooping forth' nonce to the vernacular — As dead as "John L."f had his man in's fights Those knock-out bouts so rare-spectacular. "Thy name is Denis"J now, my friend, trust me For I see thee, but me thou cans't not see'." fJohn L. Sullivan. $A slang phrase of twenty years ago signifying that a man had "lost out." 113 XXXVII "The new arrived gazed round him in amaze. His hair stood straight on end — the sweat burst out — His eyes stood out as in galvanic gaze He felt he knew not what he was about. Sudden he felt himself seized by the throat In grip of steel that shut his icindpipe off And for his life he would not give a groat And felt he'd met a second taking-off. The very instant this idea occurred The pressure instantly was swift relaxed And he sucked air so hard, to say a word His whole mentality had been sore taxed. He gasped and panted like a hard-run dog Then fell back on his back still as a log." XXXVIII "The bench he lay on was full three feet broad And its thick cushion rested him full deep He closed his eyes and looked no more abroad And in a little while was fast asleep. How long he'd slept he knew not when a start Convulsed his very soul with terror dread Clutched with convulsive hand his beating heart And once more raised each hair upon his head. He felt an awful 'presence' in the cell Something he knew not what that chilled his soul An odour damp of tombs he 'gan to smell And felt once more he stood upon Death's goal. The awful presence then drew on more near Rousing in him an ecstasy of fear.*"' 114 u He rose convulsively upon his feet. His parched tongue clave to his mouth's dry roof His eyes seemed scorching with a fiery heat His heart-beats struck as though each bore a hoof. This tension final snapped in a yell The like of which his ears had never heard It seemed to him its peal would rouse all Hell- He yelled and yelled but uttered not a word. The awful presence still drew on more near. He seemed to hear the rustle of a pall He listened and it came distinct and clear In silence which could have heard a pin fall. Once more he did emit a ghastly yell Then in a dead-faint on his face he fell." XL "How long he lay thus he did never know. After a time he came his senses to Oppressed by a mountains weight of woe And dread as to what next he must pass thro'. He rose unto his feet then sat him down Upon his 'mourner's bench' and groaned aloud As he recalled the cause of's recent swoon The awful presence with its ghastly shroud. His weary head he rested on his hand Supported by his elbow on his knee He felt so weak he was afraid to stand Deep dreading what the next foul fright would be. 'No more today*— then said the Voice sonore 'I rest in hope that Hell doth not thee bore'." 115 XLI "'Me bore!' cried out our friend exasperate — -But comforted to hear e'en ghostly voice — 'For throwing scares into one Hell's first rate A nonpareil — leaving no second choice!' 'I'm pleased thou art not bored'; the Voice then said. 'Boredum dulls th' edge of hospitality Boredum and Hell are two things never wed The one thing Hell lacks n-otfs — vitality. Hast thou a mind to dine before too long? Your dinner will be richer than you think And while you dine your ear '11 be joyed by song And lovely sights will make thy scared eyes blink. For you must know that Satan, Lord of Hell Treats all his visitors surpassing well'." XLII "111 not take time to paint the ecstasy These words brought to our friend's most storm-tossed soul Suffice to say his face was sight to see 'Twas that of wanderer who's made his goal. 'Perform ablution and then follow me. A plunge will do thy tortured soul much good. And think meanwhile on what thou soon shalt see And on thy viands — Hell's au fait in food.' The new-arrived then hied him to the pool And shed his pall and plunged head-first in Exulting in its limpid waters cool Which like smooth satin did caress his skin. He took three strokes then floated on his back And thought: 'Variety in Hell's no lack'." 116 XLIII (, He found a bath-towel handy and it used Then donned his monkish garb with wry grimace. His smile was half contemptuous half amused Thought — if they saw him — on his Club friend's face. He found new brush and comb of hrst-rate make The same he plied with care and solemn zeal Before the glass and got his hair in shape — So much so. like himself he 'gan to feel. 'Xow follow me my friend and have no fear' — Thus spake the Voice— *Thy strife today is o'er. Banish from out thy mind all hint of care And on Hope's pinions let thy spirit soar ! As guest of his Imperial Majesty — As Satan's guest- -thy soul should be care free'." XLIV ; * 'Know that our princely King and Emperor — That Satan — King and Emperor of Hell — Is guide and friend o' tliumblest newcomer To all and sundry Satan wisheth well. Of course the piper each must frankly pay — "Vengeance is mine. I will repay" saith God — For each side-step fro'th' straight and narrow way For each delinquency above the sod. But that once done the future is thine own The piper paid — the future is all gold After the sweat and blood and soul-wrenched groan The splendours of H ell's lire can scarce he tol.d\ So let the prospect cheer thee, sir and friend And know that as on earth trouble hath end'. ,, 117 XLV " 'We now may start. On passing thro' thy door Turn to thy right and do as I direct. Thou there shalt find a marble corridor Of palest pink. This warning ne'er neglect. Look neither to thy right nor to thy left But keep thine eyes severely on the ground Continue till of colour 'tis bereft And nought but pure white marble may be found. Follow this colour till it turns to green — A green translucent like to cresting wave. — When looking up a portal may be seen Strike bold the knocker and an entrance crave. On entering thou wilt be shown thy seat Raise not thine eyes till then I stern repeatf" XL VI "Our friend thus cautioned wended on his way Nor once his eyes did raise from oiT the ground Which he did find just as the Voice did say And when he did look up a door he found. A door like that of a Cathedral old Carved marble stained by time a misty grey Its knocker — a huge human hand in gold — The new- arrived let fall as th' Voice did say. A peal as hollow as a funeral knell Struck on his startled ear a dismal clang A boom as heavy as a huge Church-bell Shot from the mighty knocker's raucous bang. A solemn voice within said: 'Who is here?' The Voice spake for him : 'One who craves thy cheer'." 116 XL VII "The mighty door swung open without sound And closed upon him then as silently. "VYhereat the new-arrived did glance around No sooner done than no one did he see. He saw a vast and lofty Banquet-Hall Arranged with tables its vast entire length Richly bedecked as for a festival Loaded with plate and wines of richest strength. 2so viands on the board did yet appear. He stood at ease and waited the next move When an enraptured sound smote on his ear As love-lorn as the cooing of wood-dove. Great tears of ecstasy sprang to his eyes At this mellifluous and wild surprise." XL VIII "The female voices floated down the Hall — A mighty chorus with stringed instruments — The Opera it instant did recall But by these tones its tones were rudiment-. Xeer had he heard such music in his life — And ear well trained in music eke had he — Such ecstasy of counterpointal strife Such harmony of Music's witchery. The voices rose like winds that lash the main Or strip a virgin forest of its limbs Then like hushed waves they sobbed a soft refrain Which lulled the soul as heard-at-evening hymns. He stood enraptured — like one in a trance In perfect bliss — nought could his joy enhance." 119 XLIX "Sudden a mighty portal opened wide And down the Hall a mighty Concourse came Garbed as himself their Monkish weeds did hide Wounds that did make them crippled, halt, and maim. The Voice low at his ear said: 'These same men Are brothers in adversity to thee What they've gone through hath ne'er been writ by pen Nor told by tongue — nor yet did eye e'er see. What they've gone through in time must thou go through And suffer as" thou seest them suffer here But if sd be to thyself thou art true Thou'lt rise triumphant — on that have no fear. These thou seest here pertain to Christendom Other religions to this zone ne'er come'." " 'Each nationality is by itself Each County and each Town group with their own Ranked as they were in life — by birth or pelf Thus none in Hell are asked to stand alone. Some friends thou'lt find — both friends and comrades true — Thy place is straight reserved amidst them — "Manhattan" 7 Clubmen — a most jovial crew — They'll be rejoiced to see thee once again. They're grouped today at this first table's end Stand by a plate and wait their coming there. To their advice thy strict adherence lend Then of the future thou need'st have no fear.' The new-arrived — his eyes ablaze with joy Strode towards his seat — as happy as a boy." 120 LI ''The mighty throng advanced at a slow pace Their crippled state prevented ought of speed. He saw that Pain was seated on each face That Suffering therein had her full meed. A deadly fear assaulted straight his heart In thinking that these men portrayed his fate. It came upon him with a sudden start None the less poignant in that it was late. He pulled himself together out of pride Flor fear his ancient comrades would it mark And for his lack of courage him deride Since after all he did not fear a mark. With mighty effort he assumed a smile — That of Societv — with all its smile." LII "The leaders by this time were near at hand. The face of each he 'gan with vim to scan. He caught a chair — or he had failed to stand — When he encountered that of the first man. It was a Judge of high and wide renown Learned and upright as a ramrod he Who seldom wore the dark Judicial frown For he was known for geniality. Above the sod he'd known his Honour well And with him at the Club had oft plaved pool His horror hence at finding him in Hell And so cut up was something far from cool. The Judge o^azed on him with an awful eye That seemed to say: 'Ask me not how nor why'!" 121 LIII "Our friend — whose tact was vast — said not a word But bowed and smiled as he had been on earth. This in the Judge struck sympathetic chord — Of friendly manner had he ne'er shown dearth. Our friend then glanced beyond — and wild amaze Did hold him rigid as a statue cold Whose fearful shock his nerve did nearly 'faze' — It was a Bishop — if truth must be told! A Bishop in his Church — Episcopal — Of fame so lily-white and sacrosanct That for an Angel he seemed formed as 'pal' And all who failed to worship w T ere thought 'cranked.' 'Whafs coming next /' Our friend in horror thought 'Who'd ever thought his Rev'rence could be caught'!" LIV "With l Pax Vobiscurri 1 air the priest came on — Deeply embarrassed — but he passed it off — Saying in steady tones: 'How is my son?' And then fell back upon a nervous cough. Our friend just bowed and smiled as heretofore 'Silence is golden' — thought he — 'e'en in Hell. I'd give stout sum to know what he's here for — Whate'er it be I'm "dead sure" he won't tell!' And then appeared a Roman Cardinal Known to our friend from his newspaper cut Whose face was prey to bitterness and gall On having fallen into Hell's deep rut. 'Here is a goodly "bunch" — so help me G — d ! Enough to bring a smile to Boston's CodV'f fThe effigy of the codfish in the State House in Boston, U. S. A. 122 LV " 'But where on earth is my "Manhattan" crowd I'd love to have them by me at this board' — He silent thought and full as deeply vowed When — looking up — he caught a smile most broad. Some ten feet from him sat a merry band Of what were known on earth as 'dead-game-sports' Who all and sundry waved him the 'glad hand' Tho' from their wounds and cuts they'd all done torts. 'That is the place for me! No doubt of that' — Thus thought our friend prepared to make a bolt — This grave "bunch" here will swift "talk thro' their hat" And bore me stiff , and give my nerves a jolt. Hurrah for the old \Club! 'She stands up well And her bold offspring .hold their own in HellP " LVI "He swiftly then did engineer his bolt And bowing gravely right and left slipped out Feeling as doth at liberty a colt And a pronounced temptation to shout out. To his delight he found the jovial crew Had — in their midst — for him a vacant chair. So on the six he beaming glances threw And for the nonce was wholly free from care. He started to shake hands but found that all Had one arm or the other in a sling This wrapped his spirits as t'were in a pall And to his cheek a pallor swift did bring. His comrades saw it and said: 'Have no fear This sort of thing you won't meet for one year'.' 123 LVII " "On with the dance! Let joy be unconfined" As sang the mighty Byron in his day. In Hell both Joy and Torture are combined— E'en intertwined — in a most wondrous way!' Thus spake the leader of the Jovial Crew — A Stock-broker of note in his hot day — And from our friend e'en rich commissions drew — In ringing voice thus did the 'scalper'f say. 'You've no idea the fun we have down here There's nothing like it even on Broadway All is fair play — there's no foul play to fear But hear in mind you must the piper pay. But that's too complicate to unfold here Wait till you've sojourned with us for a year'." LVIII " 'So now sit down my friend and feel at home And well you may since for one hundred years From this dread Zone you never once shall roam — This Zone of laughter intermixed with tears.' Thus speaking he did show our friend a chair In which he sat and found himself at ease At ease and for the nonce full free from care — To see his old Club cronies did him please. Sudden a stillness fell upon the Hall And a sepulchral voice said in chill tones — 'Beware, my brothers, lest in sin ye fall But now fall to and leave nought but the bones.' A mighty shout as from an armed host Cheered to the echo this hint of their host." fA slang term for a Wall Street Stockbroker. Alluding to their taking — "scalping" — commissions from the losings, as well as the winnings, of their customers. 124 LIX "And then a marvel rose before his gaze! Magic of magic did at once unfold Our friend did view in wonder and amaze A thing which did his senses spell-bound hold. A thousand silver platters did appear Before the thousand guests spontaneously The sight did fill him with a sudden fear As 'twas his first sight of necromancy. The platters brought themselves — sans other aid Laden with oysters cool and succulent An oyster fork then by each platter laid Then at it tooth and nail th 'assemblage went. Goblets of gold were by gold flagons filled Silent and swift and not a drop was spilled." LX " 'We have had nought to eat for one whole week' His Club friend said as he a lemon squeezed — 'Hence secret of our zest's not far to seek E'en with less fairy fare would we be pleased. But once a week we eat — as you now see And each may have his fill sans ought of stint At the same time we "watch out" warily Bearing in mind our stern Preceptor's hint. Each man may drink as much as he Can stand But let him dread beware of drunkenness 1'th' calaboose for one month that will land The brother who doth show such thoughtlessness. Thus drinking is a test of self-control Strengthens the will and cheers the striving soul.' r 125 LXI "Just then two of the walls dissolved in air Facing each row of guests as they did sit And opened on a stage beyond compare Vast in proportions and by Magic lit. A dreamy melody then filled the air Soft as the soughing of an evening breeze Which instant soothed the soul suffused with care And equally the intellect did please. If trees had leaves were harps Aeolian And Zephyr softly played upon their strings With Apollo as the grand custodian O'th' baton and his orders silent flings — You'd get a hint of music that brought tears As its soft melodies sunk in our ears." LXII "Then on a sudden voices low did call From the umbrageous trees which formed the wings- Sweet girlish voices whose clear tones did fall Upon the ear as soft as beating wings. And a Midsummer Night's Dream 'fore us rose — With real and actual fairies in the east — Did Titania and her Oberon disclose And Fays and Fairies — a whole concourse vast. A second cheer deep-throated as the first — A cheer that caused the lofty dome to ring — ■ Did from th 'entranced host like thunder burst And to the Fairies' cheeks sweet blushes bring. The actors then their roles did straight rehearse Another text but in great Shakspeare's verse." 126 LXHI "The Fairies' figures were a thing of joy Of grace and symmetry and lovely lines Their stature was as that of girl and boy Which five feet, five feet two in each confines. But beyond that their figures were mature — Their dainty drapery hinted a breast Whose sweetly swelling lines were firm as pure Whose beauty was a thing can't be expressed. Their faces matched their forms in fairy charm The like of which our eyes had never seen Their glance intelligent as it was warm The whole ruled over by an air serene. The faces of the males were stern and bold While their muscled frames a warlike vigour told." LXIV "King Oberon did port a Kingly beard Which did resemble that of Charlemagne Its dusky strands his cuirass' top just cleared And from his square jaws tumbled like a mane. Titania's lovely tresses were pure gold — A gold as delicate as sunset-sheen With glamour and with lustre can't be told The like of it mine eyes had never seen. Her teeth of pearl and lips as ruby red Her dark grey eyes that like two jewels shone The fairy grace which shone forth in her tread As she and Oberon did mount their throne Her charms — my boy — totted up such a sum That — on my soul — the sight clean struck me dumb." 127 LXV "And when she spoke her voice did bear the tones — The witching murmur — that one hears in streams In little streams which murmur o'er the stones When o'er the bank long summer shadow streams. And when she laughed 'twas like a chime of bells — Of elfin bells heard on a frosty night Within the hollows of those haunted dells Where Dian loves to shed her silvery light. No rhapsody is this but solemn truth Poor mundane ears ne'er yet heard such a sound On hearing it I almost swooned in sooth — Swooned from pure joy — near went off in a swound. The voice of Oberon was strong and stern But through its chords a tenderness did yearn." LXVI "Upon the other stage was shown the Court Of Fairyland's Crown ^Prince, and Consort fair A handsome stripling with dark locks curled short While like Titania's was the Princess' hair. I merely turned to look then turned away Because my heart Titania fair had won But my esteem all lust firm held at bay In Hell adultery i'th' head is done — Just as Christ said— and in Hell all soon find Illicit thoughts it pays one well to shun Unless i'th' calaboose he'd be confined Unless for thirty daj^s he'd lose all fun. A play dramatic as its verse was grand Then held us spell-bound — by magician's hand." 128 LXVII "Such jewels as the lovely Queen had on Were never worn by Empress on the earth Suffice to say they like the dew-drop shone When the first rays of sunshine reach their birth. Her pearls were like the hoar-frost when the moon Draws near her time and falls upon the wane. Her rubies like a tulip at high noon When not a breath doth stir the weather-vane And when the sun doth glow like new-shed blood Athwart her lustrous velvet petal fine Or when red wine that in a goblet stood Is slowly spilled and through 't the sun doth shine. Her robe was pearl- sheened silk — her shoon of gold- J3ut of her charms I scarce the half have told." LXVIII "Meantime the banquet did sans halt proceed — Viands and wines to grace a kingly board — All dined with gusto but sans hint of greed And not a brother took too much aboard. Another wonder then did straight unfold — The knives and forks did cut the meat themselves! Thus those whose wounded arms a sling did hold Were, as it were, tended by viewless Elves. Nought of the scene behind did any hear Magic did halt the sound-waves instantly Thus nought of discord jarred upon the ear And all moved smooth and Fairy-pleasantly. Cigars of rich aroma then were brought And the solace which they bring by all was sought." 129 LXIX "Now what I straight shall say will make you smile But you do know full well I'm Truth itself That on the earth I was as free from guile As I was surely, surely free from pelf. Sudden the scene changed to a Minstrel Show! 'Interlocutor' and 'End Men' black as night With tambourine and 'bones' to make things go — The vasty stage did make a gorgeous sight! I feared the tympana of these my ears Would crack beneath the weight of that vast yell Of rapture — of catcalls and joyous jeers That burst from out the throats of us in Hell ! The ebon Interlocutor so bland With smile full mundane bowed and waved his hand." LXX "Whereat another and a fiercer yell Than e'en the former made the welkin ring! WTiich quieted by magic 'neath the spell Of singer who did like a Seraph sing! Like raindrops on a desert fell those tones Upon the parched ears o'th' mighty throng Which burst in stormy laughter as the 'bones' His comic end-man 'business' brought along. The Interlocutor's unruffled air As he did pose his questions to the 'ends' Brought vividly to mind the upper air And when all hands were bent on human ends. The grand finale brought ecstatic yell — Featured : 'Smart Aleck's' entree into Hell." 130 LXXI "Which roaring farce had scarce come to an end When a deep bell struck one soul-chilling tone Warning the throng their banquet straight must end And sobering the face of everyone. Once more the Voice with the sepulchral tones Re-echoed down that vasty Banquet-Hall Bounding and echoing along its stones Up-conjuring all bitterness and gall. The cowled assemblage slowly, sadly rose And with bowed heads awaited stoical Th'irruption of those awful tones that froze The heart and chilled th'immortal soul of all. .Like breath from glacier o'th" Boreal Pole Then slowly swept those tones upon the soul." LXXII " 'All things have end in Hell as on the earth Save torment in the Brimstone Lake of Flame. Prepare ye now for six days of dread dearth T\ Tien all meet here again if free from blame. That fasting desert past ye feast once more In this our Banquet-Hall of Hell's good cheer "V\ nere's ne'er a thought of care, nor hint of bore — Nor Care nor Bore dare show their noses here. So summon up your courage — brave my lads ! Call up the Soul's reserves of nerve and gall TThich make Her timber's strong as ironclad's — Enable you to truimph over all. Think on the joys which 'wait the victor-soul The bliss and a cc vei e I way Dark as a dungeon — when of light there's none. In utter silence lid they enter here The only sound theii sandals muffled fall Once entered on our friend did feel the rear Vhich gripped him when he heard that rustling pall. Sodden a thought like iron nerve 1 his soul! T-"-e oeaur -on s Maids of ho-- and their sweet goal." xcn "His dub- friend at his side 1 —-whispered him This place is haunted by the Fiends of Fear WhoTl make the goose-flesh rise upon your skin And on your forehead beads :f sweat appear. Thli 77 do. One cannot them prevent Hie Bravest of the brave feel these same things But sans the least lisgrs ; : — they're Nature's vent So be prepare when thh with Fiends' yells rings! 1 He'd scarcely ceased when such a yell burst out — Soul-chilling and hair-raising fraught I — to the sweat in streams on him spout out -1 vc 7 - 7 *o 7 - ' I -d ! Whea - TI st g ve ' k yell 141 XCIII "Whereat the very ground beneath their feet Did quake and totter with an earthquake's heave. It seemed as though the floor each face would meet Which rose in billows — like a wave did heave! By magic did the bricks which paved the floor Hold in their places as though glued thereto Whereby to Death was opened wide a door Since straight against their faces the floor flew ! But halted just before it mashed them in — The earth waves making the grim heroes reel — And all the while the air bore such a din As though all Fiends in Hell their yells did peel. But through the darkness rose Wundaunted yell Of the cowVd Host surrounded by Hell's spell." XCIV "His Club-friend threw his arm about our friend — About his waist — and yelled: 'Cling tight to me! A danger spot doth lurk at this gut's end We vet'rans know it — though naught o't* may see. We know when we approach it by the smell — A cesspool's rose-water by its foul stench — For 'tis a smell peculiar strict to Hell And carries fear which makes e'en our hearts blench. When you first smell it crouch prepared to fall In this way you may dodge the giant-bats Which harbour at that end 'gainst either wall Their bodies are five times the size of rats. The limit of their swoop's four feet fro'th 'floor See to it that vour stature is no more'". 142 xcv " 'These filthy things irt lice a full inch long ; h spring upon you if their wings you touch And if they land they bite as though a prong Had pierced you roundly and was in close touch. Hie bats, too, bite like any cornered rat — Their teeth are long and sharp as supet : acks — And you may safely bet new ;op-hat YouTl fly :ell-mell from one of their attacks There's nothing to be done but crouch full low With all your muscles flexed and joints relaxed Thus you dodge bats and lice at one fell blow But I warn you your patten ~ :dP The uproar by this time did clean subside. Our frienl gave thanks, his nerv r - — 7 : T sorely XCYI T : :■: ui - ~hieh imaginata :n quaUs At its vile :ouch his senses almost froze To paint that stench my language simply fails He sc roely had recovered from this shock " lien his hair stood on end at whir f wings His Club- friend in the ribs him swift did knock As sign of circling bats that did impinge, Tnsdamt our friend lid sronch and grope his way TTi:„ arms and hands outspread to grip the floor Whilst *neath the waves >f stench his soul And once again outburst the fell uproar. his ears, his eye-. As he lid dodge the bats and their vile blows". 143 XCVII "Sudden a light burst on their hungry eyes As golden-rosy as the sunsets sheen And their stunned ears were soothed — to their surprise — By female tones — cross twixt a song and keenf Slowly the words emerged as from a mist. — ■ In which shapes are obscure and lack all form — And as they did their very souls seemed kissed — Their storm-tried souls — so sweet these words did warm. *Xow welcome, heroes, to a zone of rest For a set space no danger here doth come Here is brief rest for souls with strife oppressed Here for a time may ye breathe as at home.' The voices ceased. The Host sank on the grass "Which luscious here and flower-laden was." XCVIII ''For a full sweet hour did they slumber there When trumpet blast did burst upon their ears And once more were they roused to toil and care Once more to face a world of grisly fears. The Host up-sprang like soldiers at command And ranged themselves in column as before When they did see approach on either hand Two monsters which chilled our friend to the core ! A cross betwixt an elephant and snake — Their trunks were snakes their tails were snakes as well — "Who as they moved a trumpeting did make Which seemed to shake the base of very Hell! The serpents writhed and hissed like a simoon And scared our friend till death seemed a sweet boon". tlrish funeral song accompanied with wailing. 144 XCIX " 'Stick close to me. His friend said in low tones Tf we do hold our ranks no harm, can come. He who falls out they crush to pulp his bones Ki?~. : ' ~ pie him I t-Ju U home. An exercise in Mora] Courage this — J. y:' : ": ; : ::-.v r \\ :. 'i; — An :■ : vJ. ri:les :-n e: i-h serpent's hiss Of which foul smell I warn you to be wary. Its tendency's to make one get away And if you do you never can get back A force mysterious holds you at bay Until the beasts have laid you on your back. After a man's been killed he straight comes-to But that fell trampling is .. thing all rue' ". " 'The beasts are forced to keep full six feet off The Laws of Hell forbi I they nearer come Those of us who've the nerve the brutes then scoff- Scoff and revile them till they make things hum. None but a man of iron nerve dare this For the beasts pick him : him see What's "up to him" if he one point doth miss -1- _: f ' M ; *Zf- The ' jT* the only man as yet Among our thousand who dare, challenge them But'-? logic is i ~ : m vg on which to 7 -:~ And logic — of M things — is rare in men. The beasts first try our ranks both front and rear To see if any one hath budged from fear.' " END OF CANTO ONE. 145 NEWSPAPER REVIEWS SCORPIO. (Sonnets) By John Armstrong Chaloner. i Keats has told us that "they shall be accounted poet-kings who simply say the most heart-easing things?" It may well be, therefore, that the author of the present volume of son- nets has no desire to be ranked among the poet-kings. For he certainly does not come to us with heartsease in his hand. On the contrary he prides himself on the fact that he is a hard and terrible hitter. Indeed, he assures us that he has come to the conclusion that you can put a wicked man "to sleep" with a sonnet in pretty much the same way that a prize- fighter puts his opponent to sleep with a finished blow. And not only does Mr. Chaloner believe in what we may term the sonnetorial fist, but he believes also in whips and scorpions, for the cover of his book is decorated with an angry-looking seven- thonged scourge, and he dubs the whole effort "Scor- pio." So that when we look to the fair page itself we know what to expect. Nor are we disappointed. Mr. Chaloner goes to the opera. Being a good poet, he immediately writes a sonnet about it, the which, however, he calls "The Devil's Horseshoe." We reproduce it for the benefit of all concerned: "A fecund sight for a philosopher — Rich as Groleonda's mine in lessons rare — That gem-bedizen'd 'horse-shoe' at th'Opera Replete with costly hags and matrons fair! His votaresses doth Mammon there array His Amazonian Phalanx dread to face! To Mammon there do they their homage pay ! 146 SpangFd with jewels, satins, silks and lace. Clones whose old bosoms in their corsets creak Beldams whose slightest glance would fright a horse Ghouls — when they speak one hears the grave-mole squeak — Their escorts par etnas of feature coarse. A rich array of Luxury and Vice ! But. spite of them, the music's very nice/" Here you have whips, scorpions, and a knockout blow with a vengeance. The sonnet as a whole is not one which we can approve from a technical or sentimental point of view, but it has points. Henley might have plumed himself on that line about the creaking corset, and the last line, a tour de ;. in its way reminds us of the withering ironies of Byron. It is only fair to Mr. Chaloner to add that not all his sonnets are concerned with back-flaying, bosom- stinging, or general thumping. Some of them show the tender emotions proper to a poet. We like him best, however, in his character as metrical bruiser. He is always on the side of the angels even if he is frequently over vigorous: and his book is well worth possessing. We gather that he has undergone personal trou- bles of no light or ordinary nature, and it is pleasant to note that, despite these troubles, he still retains a sane and reasonable outlook upon life, for when he likes he can be quite pleasantly humorous instead of acridly bitter. — THE ACADEMY. London. August S. 1908.1 THE TIMES-UNION, Albany. N. Y.. August -i. 1913. Scorpio, by J. A. Chaloner. Si. 50. The Palmetto Press. Eoan- oke Eapids. North Carolina. "Scorpio" is a volume of sonnets in which the author's talent as a satirist has been given full play. He is merciless in his attacks upon the frailty of man. and his puny indiffer- ence to big. vital matters which are slowly, but none the less* surely, sapping our nation's strength. Yet. true poet as he is. no one could revel in the beautv of lighter or more deli- fThe Academy heads the American Reviews for the sake of auld lang syne — it being the first publication in the world to notice the author's work. 147 cate fancies, when he turns his thoughts to things that are not man-made. As he writes of Kipling, it can be said of him : "His work is palpitant with strength and blood ; elastic vigor leaps in every line." KIPLING. Thy work is palpitant with strength and blood. Elastic vigor leaps in every line. There fire of Elizabethan hardihood Far-reaching and vig'rous as of yore, doth shine. There glint of bayonet and roll of drum — That world-encircling drum-tap of the race — Flash on the eye and pulse-stir with their hum — There strides the British soldier's sturdy pace. New life dids't thou impart to British verse. In Alexandrian doldrums did she swoon — "In irons" to Formality's cold curse — To her fair sails you came a breezy boon! Long may you live to voice your peoples' will A voice whose utterance needs not strength but skill. Mr. Chaloner is a graduate of Columbia University and a member of the bar. He comes of distinguished ancestry* being the lineal descendant — on the distaff side of the house — of Peter Stuyvesant — the last Dutch Governor of New York — then New Amsterdam — and John Winthrop, appointed* by King Charles II, Governor of Massachusetts. Besides being a blood relative of the following three prominent Generals in the Revolution — General Nathaniel Greene, recognized as the second General on our side after Washington — General Francis Marion, of South Carolina, known in History as "The Swamp Fox," from the trouble he gave, and the chases he led the superior British forces, through his native swamps, at the head of his small body of horse — which makes our au- thor a blood relative of Charlotte de Corday — General Marion being of French Huguenot ancestry — and — through the Heroine of the French Revolution — a blood relative of the greatest of French dramatists, Corneille. Lastly, John Arm- strong Chaloner is the great-great-grandson of General John 148 Armstrong, on Washington's staff at the British victory of the Brandy wine; and author of the famous Newburgh Ad- dresses, which came near splitting the newborn xVmerican Eepublic in half, by raising such resentment in the breasts of the officers and army when stationed at Newburgh-on- Hudson (after peace with Great Britain) because Congress refused to make good the arrears of pay of the men who had saved them from the halter — that the army was ripe for taking their pay at the point of the sword — and nothing but a hurried trip to Newburg, and the prayers and tears of Washington, saved the situation. Mr. Chaloner also claims relationship with the oldest and wealthiest Knickerbocker families. EDGAR SALTITS IN "VANITY FAIE." Scorpio is a shandigaff of prose and verse. Usually such things are inoffensive specimens of harmless literature. But not Scorpio. Richepin wrote a breviary that was like an ex- plosion of Roman candles. He also wrote a hymnal that was so many doors slammed in your face. Richepin, though a member of the French Academy, a membership which usually is a patent of incapacity, had something to say and knew how to say it. In piety and trwculence this thing of Mr. Chaloner y s equals RichepirCs wares. In commenting on an earlier per- formance, a critic called the author a literary bruiser. — New York, January, 1914. HENRY BRINSLEY IN "VANITY FAIR." New York, January, 1914. • I have been deeply moved recently by some verses of Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner % who has just published a slender volume of sonnets called "Scorpio." The following lovely little lyric will tell its own message without prosaic comment on my part. 149 DEATH. When our appointed sands shall run their course When in life's brief hour-glass none doth remain When death's mysterious river we must cross The following thoughts may ease the Soul her pain Death the Angel is of all activity The "open sesame" to action rare — The quick'ning of a new nativity In a world which is as dreadful as it's fair. The bones do rest, the dust doth rest. 'They Test. But the \Spirit — that which sprang from God's bright Throne — The Spirit which His breath gives life and zest The Spirit thro 7 eternity goes on ! Tomb the portal is to Hell or Paradise — Purgatory is Hell and versa vice. From NEWS SCIMITAR, Mempis, Tenn., July 29, 1912. A SON OF MARS. John Armstrong Chaloner is a true son of Mars. Evi- dently he was born under the blood-red planet. He has been a fighter since he reached manhood, and the prospects are that he will have to fight until he is gathered to his Fathers. He is a scion of the Astor family, and is therefore wealthy, re- puted to be worth $1,500,000. He first came into 1 public notice by marrying that sizzling vessel of molten lava, Amelie Rives, shortly after she had perpetrated on the world "The Quick or the Dead." Amelie seems to have exhausted all her warmth on this book, and toward Chaloner, she was as cold as the iceberg that sank the Titanic. War soon be- gan between the couple, and it ended in a divorce on the ground of incompatibility Explaining his circumstances in the instrument of trans- fer, and the reason why he adopts the chosen method, he has turned over all of his property in trust to a strong Southern financial institution, he retaining only a life interest, and com- 150 plete and absolute control until his death. After his death his estate is to be divided between the educational institutions of Virginia and North Carolina, with the residue to charities and chosen beneficiaries. In this way he hopes to defeat the cupidity of his family. They are preparing to fight this last move, and no doubt Chaloner will be engaged in a war until the end comes. Boston, Mass., ADVERTISER, December 20, 1913. SCORPIO STILL STINGS. We are sweetly toasted by John Armstrong Chaloner in "Scorpio, IL"ftt (Palmetto Press): THE TOURNEY. I love an enemy that strikes out bold ! To th' Boston Advertiser doff I my hat E'en tho' he lives where one eats beans grown cold Or beans e'en hot as H — 1 — "all's one for that." I love the shock and clamour of the joust! I love the roar ! I love the battle's din ! As they charge at me from my selle to oustf As I hold firm my pen to keep selle in ! 'Midst press o'th' knights o'th' pen I love to ride Where sword meets sword, or spear, or gleaming crest ! Where th' good red blood flows in a silent tide Where each grim swordsman doth his d — dest best ! I'th' thick o' th' press o' th' knights I love to be When I feel my snow-white charger under me.f f By this time Mr. Chaloner must be riding in gore to his stirrups. With his broadsword, or stiletto, or lance, or club, or snickernee, or shotgun, he is daily as diligent as a book- keeper at his desk. Now that he is paying his militant re- spects to States and cities as well as persons, there's no end to material. We are gladdened with a promise of "Scorpio, Vol. III." f Saddle. ftA snow-white piece of paper. fttPublished, 1913. 151 White Plains (X. Y.) ARGUS, October 12, 1915. John Armstrong Chaloner is again attracting attention because of his literary sonnets. THE NEWS DEMOCRAT, Providence, R. L, September 21, 1915. BOOK NOTES. "Robbery Under Law." By John Armstrong Chaloner. Published by Palmetto Press. 50 cents, net. John Armstrong Chaloner has just written "Robbery Under Law, or The Battle of the Millionaires," a play in three acts and three scenes, exposing the viciousness of the Lunacy Laws. He has given eighteen of the best years of his life in a crusade against the Lunacy Laws of various States. In the dramatization of the Virginia tragedy, Chaloner, is Hugh Stutfield, of "Rokeby," Albemarle County, Vir- ginia, and Xew York, millionaire art-patron and law-writer; James Lawless, of Xew York, rejected suitor of Viola Cariston, who is in love with Stutfield; Winston Blettermole, cousin and heir-at-law of Stutfield: Belisarius P. Spink, an un- scrupulous, but learned, Xew York lawyer, and Albert Wedge, an inventor, are the important characters who tell the story of Chaloners strange career. Viola and the love romance woven about her are fictitious, but Mr. Chaloner says the other characters correctly por- tray participants in events. This bids fair to be as interesting as his telegram "Who's Looney Now?" to his brother, "Sheriff Bob" Chanler, when the latter divorced Mile. Lina Cavalieri, and should find many appreciative readers. 152 THE PORTLAND OREGONIAN, Portland, Ore., August 22, 1915. "Robbery Under Law, 77 by John Armstrong Chaloner, 50 cents, Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, N. C. There are two plays in this book. One is "Robbery Under Law, 7 ' in which Lunacy abuses are pictured, and "The Hazard of the Die, 77 a three-act play in blank verse treating of the conspiracy of Catiline during the last days of the Roman Republic. Both plays are un- usual, interesting, and show the undoubted draarmtic talent of the author. THE EVENING TELEGRAM, Portland, Oregon, July 24, 1915. Robbery Under Law By John Armstrong Chaloner, author of "Scorpio 7 ' and "Who's Looney Now ?" Price 50' cents net. Published by Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. John Armstrong Chaloner, author of "Who's Looney Now? 77 here offers two plays. The play, "Robbery Under Law, or the Battle of the Millionaires, 7 ' purports to be an autobiographical one. It is to be played, too, the author says, in every State in the Union, and lie will appear for a curtain talk after each production to emphasize the need of Lunacy Law reform. "The Hazard of the Die," a blank verse drama of Catiline, in imitation of Shakespeare, follows with an epilogue in which the author says this is but the first of a series of plays. The work has passages of real vividness. There is real value though to students of Abnormal Psy- chology in the accounts of the "Napoleonic trances," of the mediumistic letters and the like which the author includes in this heterogeneous volume; he quotes William James, the American psychologist, as styling him a medium of unusual powers, and includes a letter from Thomson Jay Hudson, author of "The Law of Psychic Phenomena." 153 THE POST-EXPRESS, Rochester, N. Y., July 24, 1915. ''Bobbery Under Law; or The Battle of the Millionaires: A Play in Three Acts and Three Scenes." By John Arm- strong Chaloner, Roanoke Rapids, X. C, Palmetto Press. Mr. Chaloners play, "Robbery Under Law," has obviously been based on his own experiences. In the same volume there is another play entitled "The Hazard of the Die," treating of Catiline's conspiracy. It is in the manner of Marlowe, even that dramatist's peculiarities of accentuation being imitated. The author shows a knowledge of Roman history which is very creditable to his memory. Among the dramatis personae are the poet Catullus, Cicero, Crassus, Sulla and Caesar. The book will amuse and in many ways, astonish the average reader. THE SCIMITAR, Memphis, Tenn., July 15, 1915. From the Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, X. C, comes a fat volume garnished in purple and gold, with two splashes of red across the front paper cover, the author of which is John Armstrong Chaloner, who startled the reading public some time ago by the famous query "Who's Looney Xow?" The volume contains a play called "Robbery Under Law" and another called "The Hazard of the Die," together with a vast amount of comments and correspondence that he has gathered up and assembled. His play shows that his reading has been discursive and by no means desultory. He certainly has imagination and inventive genius, and his workmanship shows a command of literary technique not to be despised. His gifts are eminently respectable, and he is fortunate in hav- ing the money to place himself before the public in spite of the Pharisees and the guardians of our literary morals. 154 THE AGE-HERALD, Birmingham, Ala., September 5, 1915. "Robbery Under Law, or The Battle of The Millionaires. 77 (A play in three acts and three scenes.) By John Arm- strong Chaloner. The Palmetto Press, Eoanoke Rapids, North Carolina. John Armstrong Chaloner, author of "Scorpio," presents a play under the title of "Robbery Under Law, or the Battle of the Millionaires," which has attracted widespread attention. Among other things — interesting things — about the play, is Mr. Chaloners "Prologue," which throws considerable light on the subject as follows: "Since finishing the play, 'Robbery Under Law, 7 last fall, the undersigned has written another play found herewith, entitled, 'The Hazard of the Die,' a three act play in blank verse treating of the conspiracy of Catiline during the last days of the Roman Republic." From the foregoing the object of the play may be deducted and the hriZliant manner in which the author has handled the subject is in keeping with the other clever things he has written. THE THEATRE MAGAZINE, November, 1915. THE THEATRE. The Magazine for Playgoers. New Dramatic Books, November, 1915. "Robbery Under Law." By the author of "Scorpio." Palmetto Press, North Carolina. Mr. Chaloner who, on apt occasion, set going the some- what famous expression "Who's Looney Now?" has written a play in attack of Lunacy Laws. "Robbery Under Law" is the title of a play by Mr. Chal- oner. The plan is to produce the play widely as a perform- ance. It is lurid and extremely dramatic in some of its 155 scenes. It has the imaginative qualities and force to be ex- pected from a writer who was assured by the late Professor William James that he had the Psychic temperament and the qualities of a medium. The second section of the book is de- voted to the "Hazard of the Die,'' a play in three acts, of the last days of the Eoman Kepublic. THE VIRGINIAN, Richmond, Va., September 29, 1915. "THE SERPENT OF OLD NILE," MASTERPIECE. John Armstrong Chaloner Produces Sequel to "The Hazard Of The Die." Deals With Caesar. Following close upon the heels of his "The Hazard of the Die," John Armstrong Chaloner has written a three-act drama, "The Serpent Of Old Nile," which he terms a sequel to the other in that both plays treat of the same epoch and the same man — Julius Caesar. In the former he is shown as a young man when he was scheming for power and in the latter effort he is depicted as the man of maturer years, who has achieved power. In "The Serpent Of Old Nile" Mr. Chaloner essays to paint a sorceress and her wiles and probably not even Shakespeare himself would be ashamed to claim what the "Master of Merry Mills" who is a past master of English as it is written, has" put forth in blank verse. It should have a stage production and with intelligent inter- pretation would make a hit. The book has been issued by the Palmetto Press, of Roa- noke Rapids, N. C, in paper cover at fifty cents. L5C -THE SERPENT OF OLD NILE" A Dra—i in Three Acts. DRAMATIS PER 5 .":■". .7 Hj^HABSi!H»r-THB-ATHKNiA3r. Commander- 1 f Cleo- patra's 77' 77 :- P:»lemY A^r -3 ctfAer. / 7/ i Cleopa: Caxo Jcxjus Caesar Dictate Koman World. In Love with Cleopatra. Pothestjsl Cleopatra's v Mi 1st* ' Si --: Ptolemy — tht Sti - - Strift bet Brother one Siste Holoyesnes. Oaptaki vf Cleopatra's Body-G A _-.vi": ■!.:-.. Attached to Cleopatra's 5 vs. Arayid. / Cleopatra- E chs. A Hkbatd. Attached to Caesar's Army. lZ'.pattla. ; , . ■. . - Egypt. Sappho. A- Athenian. Cleopatra's 7. ~ -7 -~" Roman Soidu * 3 Greek Mercenaries* Egyptian Soldi* *, Bedouin Arabs an*2 '. " -'- : s. Time: iS B. C. PI ;.. * E gy 157 THE SORCERESS PEOLOGUE TO "THE SERPENT OF OLD NILE'' Chorus loquitur. We now essay to paint a sorceress — The "Serpent of Old Nile'- of Antony — That man-devouring-Sphinx — Egypt's — none less Whom Shakspeare limned in divine alchemy ! The task is dread — the task doth chill the heart — All in the steps of Shakspeare thus to tread — Especially as herein plays the part Of lover Caesar, whom th' world held in dread. Especially since Cleopatra's tossed Upon the bosom of two passions dire — Love — whose fulfilment world-empire would cost Ambition — which holds forth the world's empire! 'Twixt Caesar and the bold Hephaestion The sands of Pate's dark glass portentous run. From A SOUTHERN SHORT STORY WRITER. "The third act of "The Serpent Of Old Nile" reached me yesterday and I like it immensely. You know how pleased I was with the first two Acts, and this is a fitting climax. The conflict in Cleopatra's heart is splendidly represented : (Sappho:) 'So Cleopatra sways between two winds. The wind of love and Powers mighty wind. Which of the two winds win the Gods sole know Meanwhile her heart is tossing to and fro' Tossing and troubled like a troubled stream.' This whole soliloquy of Sappho is very fine indeed. I admire the attitude of Plephaestion when Cleopatra ig 158 trying to dazzle and charm him — the way in which he reads below the surface, and says to her: (Hephaes:) 'I see a spirit in whose plumbless depths Lurk passions deep as multifarious — Lurk Love and lurk Ambition hand in hand Joined whilst they sleep, but parted once they wake. I note Ambition to o'errule the world I note the courage to achieve the task Backed by a Policy as deep as dark — As subtle as 'The Serpent Of Old Nile 7 Learn 'd in all policy, skill'd in how to rule The hearts of men as sway a kingdom's host.' » I also admire the perfectly natwral way in which he finally yields to her blandishments! And these lines: (Hephaes:) 'Thought were not meant for words but for the heart — Thoughts hot as blood and as that hot blood fierce Thoughts all of fire that burn the very veins And arteries as they the heart surge thro' ! ' The termination of this love scene between Cleopatra and Hephaestion is original and very well done — the triumph of the Queen's ambition over her love. It is interesting to note the contrast between Caesar and Hephaestion — when Caesar appears on the scene he appears so entirely confident of himself and his success with Cleo- patra that he can talk about the scenery, and not hurry to his love-making: (Caesar) : 'How lovely gleams the Nile from where I stand, A silver shield it verily doth seem.' The end is very exciting and unexpected — I didn't guess at all how Caesar would conduct himself in regard to Haphaes- tion's death, and I was heartily glad that he punished the treachery of the 'fatal sorceress' so completely." THE HAZARD OF THE DIE A Drama in Three Acts. DRAMATIS PERSONAE. Lucius Sekgius Catiline, Read of the Conspiracy to over- throw the Roman Republic. Caius Julius Caesar, ^Candidate for Pon- tijex Maximum. Marcus Crassus, The richest Roman of Antiquity. Marcus Cornelius Lentulus, Patrican, I Conspirators with Praetor ()Chief Justice) of. Rome I Catiline Caius Cetiiegus, Patrician. Caius Sulla, Patrician, nephew of the Dictator Sulla. Quintus Curius, Patrician. Marcus Tullius Cicero, Consul. Caius Valerius Catullus, The great Roman- lyric Poet. Caius Sallustius Crispus, Known to modern tvrwes as Sal- lust; Roman Historian, Author of "The Conspiracy of Catiline." Publius Clodius, Patrician, Democratic Politician; Organizer and Leader of a Band of Gladiators with which he terrorizes his Political Ri/oals. Titus Annius Milo, Patrician, Republican or Senatorial- politican; Organizer and Leader of a Band of Gladiators in Opposition to Clodius. Spartacus, Lieutenant of Clodius 1 Band. Yettius, A Spy in the pay of Cicero. A Soothsayer. Aurelia Orestilla, Wife of Catiline. Clodia, Sister of Clodius, Mistress of Catullus. Fulvia, Mistress of Quintus :.: Is . Speak my : general, nought's done sans thee in T is that :':ie Roman halt his legions the furthest confines of our camp But enter same with fitting body-guard. Cleo. Agreed Hephaestion. Thy words are wis Id. (B< I take ::iy message, Q -en. and take my leave. 171 Hephaes. (Smiling) This strikes me well, my Queen, how strikes it you? Oleo. It strikes me e'en the same. I'd like to see What mould of man this conquering Eoman is. Hephaes. (Frowning) Thy motive then is curiosity? Cleo. Part curiosity — part interest. Hephaes. Interest in him or interest in our cause? Cleo. Interest in both, Sir cross-examiner! Hephaes. They say the Eoman likes the gentler sex That's amours e ? en are counted by the score. Cleo. (Smiling) So have 1 heard and so do full believe. Hephaes. Would'st thou be one-and-twenty on his list? Cleo. (Frowning) Sirrah beware! You broadly trespass there. Hephaes. What if I do Queen. Caesar doth the same. Cleo. Comparest thou thyself to Caesar sir? Hephaes. (Laughing) I frankly do fair Queen and with good cause. Cleo. (Sn-eeringly) Ah ! So thou hast conquered the Ro- man world? Hephaes. (Smilingly) One-third of it I conquered fair my Queen — Cleo. And when was that o'er-bold Hephaestion? Hephaes. On Carrae's bloody day the plan was mine. The Parthian general was in quandary — A very bog of doubt — o'erflood with fear. The night before the fight he came to me And said, "Hephaestion e'en counsel me For I know not, in sooth, which way to turn" I then the plan evolved which won the day And taught the Romans that the mystic East Was free forever from barbaric sway — That their barbarian swords could never pierce The portals of the land my forbears ruled. Cleo. (Lang kin gig) Call'st thou the Roman proud, "bar- barian?" Hephaes. Without a doubt when measured with a Greek. Cleo. (Sneering) Caesar'd be flattered did he hear thee now. Hephaes. (Smiling) Of that puissant Queen I make no doubt. Thev come to us to teach them letters, Queen. 172 Greece is the college that doth train Roman's brain Her dramatists, poets, and Philosophers Have set the compass that doth steer proud Rome. No dramatist, poet, or Philosopher Hath Rome ever produced to march with ours — Her's are pale copies of our own grand men. Cleo. I never knew such things did interest thee. Hephaes. Because my Queen, you never trenched thereon As soldier solely didst thou send for me — Drawn by my fame which filtered thro' the world And has been doing so since Carrhae's day — But I at Athens read philosophy E'en as a youth, before I studied arms. Cleo. (Smiling) Then two polished blades will gleam here presently For Caesar's orator and author too. Hephaes. (Starting. Aside) Did she then prophesy unwit- tingly ! Did Delphi's Sybil speak from her curved lips! Doth this presage a duel to the death Twixt Caesar and myself ere many suns? Cleo. Hephaestion you seem deep wrapped in thought. Hephaes. {Starting and Recovering his Usual Air of Calm Indifference ) — Graciously pardon me. my Queen, I dreamed. Cleo. Dream in broad daylight and before thy Queen! Hephaes. Pray bear in mind I am unused to Queens The only women I have ever known Were those I captured at the sack of towns. Cleo. (Laughing) Tut! Tut! Hephaestion you fable there. Tell that to some young chit that knows not men. No man with thy poise and audacity — When thou dost face a Queen in badinage — But in boudoirs hath served apprenticeship. Hephaes. (Smiling Grimly) My boudoirs were the sack of captured towns Where falling timbers and where falling stone 'Midst cracking archways in a trembling house Did urge compliance in the coldest dame. Cleo. (Laughing) Br-r-r thy polished methods lend to me a chill ! A Hvrcan ti^er but no lover — thou! 173 Hephaes. (Calmly) What did I tell thee but a moment since? Cleo. (Aside) Doth all that fire lurk 'neath that cold calm mask ! He tempts my will to rule — I'll conquer him! And play him 'gainst the Eoman Caesar cool. I could not have two finer specimens — Two strings to my love-bow — than these two men. With me do love and war go hand in hand. Hephaes. (Smiling) 'Tis now thy turn to dream — mysterious Queen A drachma for thy thoughts I'd willing give. Cleo. (Laughing) A drachma for my thoughts — no more than that! You hold me cheaper than a captured spoil ! Hephaes. (Smiling) Because I'd lose my money either way! If they were worth a talent you ? d them hide And hand me but a drachma's worth of truth. And if a drachma thou wouldst colour them And give me less than drachma in return. (Trumpet Heard). Here comes our Eoman. Now for glimpse of him. (Enter Julius Caesar Surrounded by a Powerful Body -Guard. Be is in Full Armour with a Man- tle of Purple Silk over his Coi"selet. The Body- Guard Halts some Fifteen Feet from Cleopatra, and Caesar Strides Forth. Upon coming to Within Three Paces of Her he Halts and Draw- ing his Stcord makes a Military Salute, Saying as he Sheathes his Sword and Stands Stiffly Erect) — Caes. Hail Queen of Egypt ! Cleopatra hail. Fair daughter of the Nile thy ally I. Cleo. (Smiling Graciously and Extending her hand) Welcome, world-conquering Roman to our camp. (Caesar Advances and Taking her Hand Raises it Respectfully to his Lips. Hephaestion Starts and Involuntarily Drops his Hand to a Dagger at his Right Side. The Movement is Unper- ceived by Both Caesar and Cleopatra. He- phaestion Instantly Recovers his Usual Cold Composure and Stands at Ease. Cleopatra N tart I " . or Hand. and Glances Hastily at Hephaestion: but the lent has Sufficed for the Latter to Assume his Xonchalant Calm. Cleopatra Quickli carers, and Withdraws her Hand. Saying with a Haughty Smile) — Thy maimers, smack, sir. somewhat of the camp. C es. '.rugging his Shoulders Involuntarily^ and then Instantly Assuming an Air of Humility says Hastily) 7 ; -_ ". i ;■. ;- J;::::. Le: i:t kfe ";;e hit ex ".lie. In : 1111:5 — :: :■: ::- — I've sr-ent ny litter ye Qeo. (Smiling Graciously) Roman you stand excused I know thy wars. Thy book on Gaul IVe read with interest deep. (Caesar Bones. Cleopatra Continues. Pointing to He 11 :.:•:: t — Hos is my general who doth stand at hand. Hephaestion — the Greek — who heads my host. (Caesar Turns and Advancing a Step towards He- phaestion Extends his Right Hand Saying in Pleasing Tones and with a Frank Smile) — j:- Thy fame I know and IVe a debt to pay — M15: ~ :/--.- rreek — : : -.::._ ri i :!!■= iiri — "T~i= ~i: i::kr::i '"riss'is i ..." iir_i= Hephies. Ad \g towards Caesar and Calmly Taking his Hand. On Relinquishing it he Says) — So Crassns was a riddle puzzled thee? (Laughing) The riddle of the Sphinx and nothing Hads't thou not slain him I'd had it to do. A cold hard money-grubber and insatiate 7 : power as for gold Mark Crassus was. Tie Eoman Senate incarnate was he. Hephaes. I'd heard as much and glad am I he s gone. Of all Rome's soldiers. I would deal with tnee — ^Vho shows the polished light of clemency. Caes. v Ming and Bowing) I follow in the Pericle id mighty Alexander — Philip's son — That gcd-like offshoot of wild Maeedon. 175 Greece is the Mother of my intellect — Rome Mother of n^ arms. — my toilsome wars. Those wars now drawing to a close, I yearn For the repose of Greek philosopher Who rules an empire with philosophy. Hephaes. (Bowing) I'th' name of Greece I thank thee for thy praise. Cleo. (Smiling) Minerva surely rules this interview. Caes. (Smiling and Bowing) That Goddess in thy guise before me stands. Cleo. (Smiling) I thank thee Caesar for thy compliment. And now methinks the time draws on apace When we should settle just where we do stand I'th' warlike game whose prize is, Egypt's crown. Hephaes. Thy point fair Queen is taken adm'rably. Caes. I stand for Cleopatra, Egypt's Queen — To place thee on the throne have I now come. (Hephaestion Gives a Sigh of Satisfaction. Cleo- patra Smiles Radiantly at Caesar and Says) — Cleo. I thank thee Caesar for thy valued aid. Thy troops and mine will settle the debate Which Ptolemy and Pothinus began. (Sappho now Emerges from the Tent Clad m Greek Costume Befitting a Lady of High Rank. Sappho is a Young Woman, Tall, Slender and Fair. Of Classic Greek Features, and with a Winning and Ready Smile. Her Eyes are Blue. She Approaches the Group with Easy Dignity^ Saying) — Sappho. (Smiling) The air within the tent was somewhat warm I thought I'd change it by e'en coming out. Cleo. (Smiling) Right glad am I thou didst — my Sappho fair As a lone woman midst these warriors bold I 'gan to miss thy presence wondrously. (To Caesar) This is my fair right hand in confi- dence No Queen e'er had a maiden was more true. Caes. (Botving to Sappho who Returns his Salute with Easy Dignity) — 176 Another Greek — judging from thy fair face. Sappho. (Blushing and Smiling) The Dictator guessed true at his first guess. Caes. And now, fair Queen. I take my leave of thee Hoping to have a later conference Whereat we three may straight perfect our plans For carrying on the campaign on this soil. Cleo. We name three hours before the set of sun For holding our war-council "fore our tent Caes. Agreed. Ladies farewell till we do meet again. Cleo. Farewell. Hephaes. (To Caesar) 111 "company thee to th'outskirts of our camp. Caes. The honour, warlike Greek, I highly prize. (Both men Salute Cleopatra and Sappho and at the Head of Caesar's Body-Guard March of the stage. So Soon as they Disappear, Cleopatra Sighs with Relief and Turning to Sappho Says) Cleo. Glad am I that the Roman e'en hath left Two men to handle ever is a crowd. Sappho. Methought my Queen, you handled them with ease. Cleo. That — yes. But ease and pleasure are not always one. Sappho. (Laughing) Pleasure is only when the man is one? Cleo. When the man's one — and — when that man is won. Sappho. To win a man is nothing for the Queen. Cleo. Xothing or something. That depends withal Upon the character o' th' one man won. Sappho. Here two men have you won — or I mistake. Cleo. Why think'st thou that, my fair and subtle Greek? Sappho. Fro'tlv looks of both — and from the tone of both. Cleo. Both looks and tone may be but surface deep Xone know what's in the heart — what dark thoughts sleep. Sappho. True my fair Queen most true as general ride But not when you men's feelings put to school. Cleo. (After a Pause and Dreamily) How strikes the Eoman Caesar on thy view \ Sappho. A comely man and mild — for all his wars. Cleo. (Meditatively) So thought I too. There's nothing fierce in him. 177 Sappho. Nought. And his record proves that clemency Joins with forgiveness towards his direst foes. Cleo. But towards his wife he showed not clemency. Her he divorced and would not hear a word When Clodious to th'sacred rites stole in Disguised as female — in a woman's garb And in the Bona Dea's mysteries Most sacreligiously did push himself. Altho' no proof did ever come to hand That Caesar's wife was party to his crime — Nor ever to his suit gave countenance. Sappho. (Laughing) In the intrigues of Rome's society Ne'er guessed I that my Queen was so deep learn 'd. Cleo. A Queen should know the secrets of all courts Of all the Kingdoms which impinge on hers. Sappho. Callest thou Rome Kingdom, sweet my Queen! Cleo. Not yet in name but 'tis in very fact Ever since Caesar seized th'Imperium. Enough of this deep talk — it wearies me. Affairs of State are well — but in their place. Fray tell me which thou thinks't the better man Imperial Caesar or Hephaestion? Sappho. In looks Hephaestion doth win the day. In brains 'tis nip and tuck between the two. In heart Hephaestion wins the day "hands down!" Cleo. (Smiling) Hephaestion's herald you appear to be. Sappho. I herald his points as they appear to me Cleo. You seem to have studied deep, Hephaestion. Sappho. I study deep what near regards my Queen. Since he's thine armed right hand in this thy war I've studied him to ascertain if's true. Cleo. Methinks he's true, but full presumptuous. Sappho. A soldier's love is ever so, my Queen. Cleo. (Starting Angrily) Ha ! Dar'st thou name that word twixt him and me ! Sappho. Any with eyes can see that he doth dote Worship and love the very sand you tread Cleo. (Coldly) Enough of this I hear his echoing tread. (Hephaestion's Firm Martial Step Approaching is Now Heard. lie salutes Cleopatra Coldly and Draws him.self Up To Attention in Stiff Mili- tary Fashion). 178 Hephaes. 1% Ad even Tone* > I s&w the Roman Caesar from our camp. Cleo. \ Ad 1 how doth he impress thee — soldier mine i Hephaes. v These Last Words, and 'Oder tone) As a suave Roman and — an enemy — L'Leo. ^ E As ly did he come to us, Hephaees. So he did say. But saying is one thing And being quite another, gracious Queen. Cleo. Tush! You (xreeks are s t - -picious of all mei — A franker man than Caesar ne'er saw I. Hephaes. Yercingetorix did find him frank enoughs — Yet Vercingetorix he put to death. Where was his vaunted clemency toward him? Cleo. s Ming) Tak'st thou the cudgels for a savage A\ Hephaes. He ~as a K ing in name and King in deed A knightly warrior — a chivalrous As e'er bestrode a steed and led the charge! Cleo. sar did merely as the Romans do Reserved him for his triumph — then him killed. Hephaes. That is the very point I urge _ K:v boasted clemency ne'er showed its head. Cleo. 1 fin Jgh of this. Now mark ichat I shad say. I: thou dost care to stand in my good books My valiant sir. no more of these black looks ( . esar is needed to support our cause His veteran legions eagles are our own ^ mee our most we :i ~ :~ mpact he did sag Seal and deliver e'en before thine een — By -lis unasked support which he did give Proffer and offer sans one word from With his support ill opposition dies And I fnll quietly shall ascend the throne :h wily Pothinus did filch from me Treading my F flier's will under his feet — Hi- will and testament — which plain did The throne should be to me and Ptolemy. Ptolemy's coo' § T lone SI 1 swiftly, presently ascend the throne. 179 (Smiling) So no more, sirrah, dost thou look on me With eves so sombre in their scrutiny. Come to our council at the hour set Guard well my warning and do not forget. (Hephaestion Boies Coldly and Strides Away). Exd of Act I. .180 The Bang Edited By Alexander Harvey. Vol. IX No. 2 Xew York. October 4, 1915 Five Cents "SAUK" A Tragedy. In Three Acts. DRAMATIS PERSOXAE. Saul. King of Israel. Samuel. The Prophet. Former Judge of Israel. Jonathan. Son of Saul, and Heir- Apparent to the Throne of Israel. David. The San, of Jesse. Doeg. The Edomite. Formerly Chief Herdsman of Saul. Now Head of Saul's Body -Guard. Abner. Commander of the Army of Saul, and Saul's Cousin. The Wltch of Endor. RrzPAH. Saul's Queen and Concubine. Michal. Princess of the House of Saul. Later. Wife of David. Place: Palestine. 181 Act I. Scene I. Time\ An hour before sunrise. (The Royal Palace m Gibeah of Saul. Saul's bedroom. This room is large and lofty. The only door in the room is at the rear. At the right of the stage is Saul's bed. A wide low couch having over it hangings of silk, of Tyrian purple. As the curtain rises Saul is discov- ered tossing uneasily on his couch. The coverings of said couch are merely soft dark green stuff resembling blankets but much lighter in texture. The night robe of Saul differs only from his Kingly robe m being simpler in design — the cut is the same, namely, reaching to the feet and slightly open at the neck. The texture is the finest lamb's wool dyed a deep red. There is a hanging lamp of antique pattern, of soldd silver suspended by a silver chain in the centre of the room depending from the rafters of the ceilmg. Saul's spear is at his couch's head by his right hand. His sword is suspended from a post at his Isft. His shield rests by his 1 spear. In a coimer is seen his helmet and breastplate. His clothing is thrown in a confused mass upon a smaller couch across the room. After tossing uneasily for a few moments the King awakes with a start and gases wildly about him. He breathes heavily and almost instantly grasps his spear, leaping out of bed at the same time and gazing with fierce penetrating glances into every corner of the room which is bare of aU fur- niture except what has been described). Saul By Almighty God my soul in torment is! The Spirit from the Lord doth torment me The Spirit foul sent at Jehovah's word To punish me for sparing Amalek — For harkening unto the people's wish That I spare Agag and his mighty herds 182 Of sheep and oxen fat as Bashan's bulls To make a sacrifice unto the Lord In place of killing everything that breathed As Jah ordained byth* mouth of Samuel From that day forth am I a haunted man! Haunted b}>- this foul Demon from the Fit Which preys upon me when I wake or sleep. Anon It goes and I am Saul again Saul King of Israel — afraid of naught ! Anon It swoops upon me like a vulture foul And drags my soul unto the depths of Hell — Where it is smothered in a sea of woe — Unnerves my courage and unmans my soul Making me fearful as a timid maid Afraid to see her shadow in the dusk — When only stars are out and moon there's none. Anon It tortures me and makes me fierce — Fierce to shed blood — and shed it out of hand — That instant — while the mood doth prey on me. Nought can I do to master the vile Thing — Save that I will not let It make me kill. Would to the Lord It would take human shape That I might grapple It and take Its life Or pierce it with my spear and see It die And rid me of Its Hellish tyranny. Mine health is sound in body as in mind / know what aileth me and thus am sane And that this 111 will go — (a sombre pause) but — come — again, {After a pause) I'll call me Doeg the stout Edomite His stolid countenance cloth hearten me To face the worst Jehovah e'en can send. Ho! Doeg. Thou Benjamite — come to thy King. {Enter Doeg in full armour, with a spear in his right hand, and a shield on his arm — his sward at his side. Doeg is a powerful man of sulhn and forbidding countenance. In the prime of life. Tie has a scar running a < ross his shaven face from the, left <■>/< -brow, down his left cheek asd across his chin made by a sword 183 stroke in battle. His voice is a low harsh g ut- ter al. He bows low to the King and says) : Doeg. An 't please the King his servant stands at hand. Saul. Well come stout Doeg, G — d! my soul's in Hell Tossing and tumbling in her waves of flame — I dreamed I'd lost the crown — and then awoke. Doeg. (Smiling grimly) Dreams go by contraries, my mighty liege. Dismiss the dream and be thyself once more — That self that is the Host of Israel's pride/ To follow into battle at thy call — ■ To hear thy clarion voice wild sound the charge As thou dost leap upon the sons of Amalek As leaps a leopard on a mountain ram ! (Saul sighs deeply and begins to pace the cham- ber in long stately strides carrying his javelin at arm's length, grasped in the middle — the muscles of Ms powerful wrist standing out Uke cords, as he grips the spear — the arm rigid as though about to spring into a relaxed atti- tude and hurl the weapon.) Saul. Thy words, stout Doeg, do recall the joy I ever feel when battle's in the wind. But I would speak with Kizpah — call my Queen I long to gaze upon her dauntless face — That face as proud as it is beautiful That face that facing Death would smile in scorn And bid the King of Terrors do his worst. Doeg. (B owing low) I go my liege to notify the Queen. (Exit). Saul. Now shall my sombre spirit find repose. (Pacing slowly up and down the apartment, but far less tragically. His arm, relaxed. The spear carried at a trail. He has hardly taken three turns of the room before Doeg enters and bowing low says in a low subdued voice) — Doeg. My mighty liege — the Queen. (There is a soft rustling sound heard and Kizpah enters. ) 184 Constructive genius of the finest kind is manifested by John Armstrong Chaloner in nearly every dc bis trag- edy of "Saul." The play is wrought in so deft, so sure a fashion that its effe :: of unity alone would hold a re:, ler's intei st The - is told irresistibly. rhe h n :terSj too, are realize vividly, sympathetically. Sanl is humanized for as with no sacrifice whatevei atmosphere investing him as a being in direct contact with tile supernatural forces. On the ther hand, he is very actual. One is made fcc z-t\ while reading this play that it all hap- pened. Sanl, again, is effectively contrasted with the ithers in the tragedy is he bares his burdened soul to each in turn. The subtle Eizpah is precisely what Saul's Queen must have been. She is the more impressive because of the blend of action with debate which is so characteristic of this latest Chaloner play. I once heard Cecil Chesterton say that very good play could he made out of a debate, John Armstrong Chaloner has not made his tragedy of "Saul" out of a de- re. It conveys an impression of action, tense and vigorous. from the opening lin- : the glorious wca Is : the But Mr. Chaloner has had the wisdom to refrain from what has been called the " ::- -;preme" of the French play- wrights. He has not assembled a lot of chars sters in any scene and there abandon- them to their own conversation. Every word is vital to the tremendous issue, promoting the ::: n. There is no halt. Merely as a great story gn told this play is triumph of narrative art. It illustrates the neglected truth that when a great story is told greatly, its tness is apparent, d t otherwise, A gre : story may be told so badly as to seem The success of Mr. Chaloner in this play is s onse- qnence >f more th n >ne f : :. but he must h ve t iled with - tremendous a theme, as anyone mi st ve failed, but for the spirituality of his wh tude to his subject. The inir ness of his f ith in : st : . : t humility of his own self-effacement in unfolding it. the perfection with which he has gone to the heart of it — these are a few only of the - power over his re Wh I ssed me from the first sire \ the play was 185 its penetration by this spiritual quality. The atmosphere, the mood and the very inspiration are so directly out of the Bible that every character as well as every scene contributes to an inexplicably startling effect. The influence of such a woman as Rizpah upon such a type as Saul is an element difficult to deal with in any cir- cumstances, but here it is managed with an absolute delicacy. She comes before us as a beautiful female of the odalisque type, given to wild worship of an alien goddess. Michal, that Princess of the house of Saul who later be- comes the wife of David, is sketched into the piece subtly not merely by way of contrast with Bizpah, although that is effected as well, but as a character essential to the develop- ment of the piece. Bizpah and Michal, the two eternal types of woman, are living commentaries upon the character of the two men. All that is of the senses is given expression through the sheer physical vehemence of Saul's devoted spouse. The spirituality of Michal is discerned as a reflection from the soul of David. In fact, an arresting feature of Mr. Chal- oner's play is this very introduction of the feminine factor in its appealing forms without the slightest descent from the in- herent loftiness of his theme. His Witch of Endor is worthy of the great climax which affords her a setting. There is little of the weird sister in the tall, graceful woman with plentiful dark hair who paces to and fro in her abode on the highroad to Beersheba, In this avoidance of a gratuitous morbidity Mr. Chaloner reveals again the good taste and the unerring instinct which never failed him at any stage of the composition of this work. The remorselessness with which every irrelevancy has been excised from the action makes the catastrophe a thing of breathless interest. The climax when the Witch announces the coming of Samuel has all the qualities of the "scene a faire." For, to the French, a play is simply a "scene" to be "made." Everything leads up to this great scene, puts us in the mood for it, renders it intelligible and convincing. In this respect considered by itself, without reference to any of the other »uolities I have indicated the "Send" of John Armstrong Chaloner is one of the few great plays written by anyone now living y literary DJ Ah. Chs Loner's . ank verse form was soond. since it enables him to attain u )le s Lemnity o: ... iosI ... aevei sink 3SS. SAUI/S MEDITATION UPON DAVID. I : Dm "Saul 57 ; a Ti . _ This --" :..:: son of Jesse is my bane. Do what I may. his fortune conquers mine. Killing Goliath won the people's heart. Their hero since that clay he's surely been. Returning from the spoil >f that great day — The day Goliath died and all Philistia Did flee before the hosts of Israel — Returning from the slaughter of the foe — Whom we lid mow down as one mo 1- : the grass — The women sang a song of ecstasy Which was an insult dire as e'er I heal . "Saul has slain his th as nds 73 — 'twas thus it ran "And David his ten thousands-thousands ten. 73 *. >.= * * * # * * # N oght can I Ic : rid me of that man. Uis : rtune brings him through the lirest straits. • d the peopleTI name him kiv_g. That lit me like an adder in the gi iss. I'd rather risk this Spirit sent from Be 11 — Which since his Mining hath been subjugate Flying at once his : _ rs I p — T: sk my Kingdom thro' his popularity Michal 1 fcl im with a perfect love Her life s3 'd lay down if 'twould ransom h - "With Jonathan the thing is ] st belief His! - ssel - ve in -trensrth! Pie David loves as David were his soul — 187 Its like have I nor seen nor heard' twixt men One would think Jonathan were not my heir — Heir to my crown and all its grand domain. By Abraham's beard, it passeth all belief. The Heir- Apparent sleeping on his rights As Heir- Apparent whilst another steals The favour of his people day by day. I'll save my throne e'en if I risk my soul And have a Fiend from Hell to wrestle with! JOHN ARMSTRONG CHALONER. Copyright by Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, N. C. New York EVENING SUN, October 12, 1915. THE SUN DIAL. "Scorpio" Stings Again. "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers Brought Up to Date," by the Author of "Scorpio," who is none other than John Armstrong Chaloner, is a sonnet series attacking certain New York newspaper critics who have attacked Mr. Chaloner 's earlier poems in years past. A perusal of it makes us glad that we were always too cautious to criticise 'Mr. Chaloner. Here is one of the son- nets in which he gets back at a critic : This clown starts out wth a most rattling lie — Says in plain words we cannot write blank verse And aims to back his malice helplessly Showing an ignorance that's even worse! The greatest work on English Prosody — A work that's monumental in its reach — By the deep learn'd Professor Saintsbury — For that epochal work, lo ! we now reach. His "History Short of Lit'rature" also — Of English Lit'rature, of course we mean — For this same clown will spell a Hellblack woe That we^ve writ by the card is therein seen. Training New York's wild critics is our task Savage Yahoos who in vile ignorance bask! 188 After that picture of the "History Short of Literature" and "Scorpio" reaching toward each other to discomfort the reckless critic, who would dare be that critic? Not we! But to lift lines from their context is seldom fair to a writer; the full flavor of "Scorpio" only comes out in the complete sonnet. As we read the one which follows we again thanked heaven that we had never been among the number of his critics: We "roasted" you so brown in "Scorpio Two" No single Gothamite had word to say When we with "roasting" you had eke got through Silence of Death did shroud that roundelay! Not a New York newspaper had a line In answer to our vitriolic verse Tho' doubtless ye in privacy did whine Tho' doubtless us ye sulphurous did curse. Flat as a field of turnips laid we you Flat as a turnip field — flat as a plate — Tis "easy" for us Gotham's press to "do" So easy we need not expatiate. Ye rogues ye know when master ye have found So of your lies swift halted the foul round ! The volume ends with a threat which is also a promise. Some day "Scorpio" is going to produce all his plays in New York: The working-man ye cannot e'er keep down — We are a working-man — our works prove that — Our vitriol shall e'en thy yelps deep drown And cause ye stop your "talking thro' your hat." In time w'll win our case and get our "pile" When we get that ye'll hear the welkin ring Our plays we'll stage upon Manhattan's Isle. And hit the bull's-eye— make the same go "Ping!" We are sure they must be different from most plays we have seen. We can't think of any play we'd rather see. 189 New York TRIBUNE, October 11, 1915. CHALONER VERSE RAKES PARK ROW. Author of "Who's Looney" Strikes Fire at Critics of His Outbursts. PREDICTS TRIUMPH OVER "YELLOW CURS.' 7 "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers Up To Date" Name of Latest Sonnets. By a DISTINGUISHED SOUTHERN SHORT-STORY WRITER FOR THE MAGAZINES; To Whom the Author Sent "English Bards" For Review October, 1915. Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner has paid his respects to some of the reviewers of his recent play, "The Serpent of Old Nile," in a caustic sequence of sonnets, entitled "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers Up-To-Date," just issued from "The Palmetto Press," Roanoke Rapids, N. C. The New York World and the New York Mornmg Tele- graph come in for a major part of Mr. Chaloner's maledictions, and in his sequence of sonnets he rips his critics up the back, down the front, and across the sides, until their critical gore incarnadines every page of his "up-to-date" pamphlet. The book is written with the independence of a wood- sawyer and the ripping effect of a buzz saw; and what it does for the World and the Telegraph may be denominated "a plenty." These sonnets testify that he knows how to land a solar- plexus blow as neatly as John L. in his palmiest days. Mr. Chaloner's sonneteering style is modelled on Shake- speare's but his methods of expression are as individualistic as Walt Whitman's. He may not please everybody especially the critics of the World and the Telegraphy but he "gets there with both feet" whether the feet be iambs, or troches. "Bards and Reviewers Up-To-Date" is characteristically unique; and in it Mr. Chaloner demonstrates that, like Alan Breck Stewart, he is "a bonnie fighter." As you read the 190 sequence, and hear the sword whistle and see the blood spurt, you will say. with Stevenson's fighting hero: "This is the song of the sword of Alan."" Pachniond. Va.. XE W--LEADEE. October 13. 1915. -LEAVE ATE ALOXE" MOTTO ABOVE CHAL- ONEB CREST, A BEAE. John Armstrong Chaloner. of "Merrie Mills." who gave the English speaking race a new phrase — "Who's Looney Now f ' — has just published a satirical poem. "English Bards and Scotch Beviewers Up to Date." The crest of Mr. Chal- oner is a grizzly bear walking quietly along with the motto. "Leave me alone." This motto is amply lived up to by the author in his scorpion-like attack upon those Xew York papers which failed to leave him alone. 191 BRITISH REVIEWS ABEEDEEX FREE PRESS, 30 Union St., Aberdeen, Scot- land, March 12, 1916. "Pieces of Eight,"" by J. A. Chaloner. '(North Carolina; Palmetto Press. 25 cents.) Mr. Chaloner who is an American and strongly pro-Ally, denounces the Germans in a series of sonnets, entitled "The Swine of the Gadarenes. ?? Aiming deliberately at the fierce- ness of Swift, he does not mince his words in so good a cause. Here are the opening lines of his first sonnet: The swine o* tlv Gadarenes are here once more, That demon-haunted herd now scours the earth, Led by Bill William Two, their great wild boar; Their antics, ? pon my soul, give cause for mirth! In massed formation do they charge pell-mell, Showing less judgment than a herd of swine; In massed formation are they sent to Hell — That's where dead Germans go I dare opine. Mr. Chaloner tells us that the first eight sonnets were offered free to several American newspapers but were refused. This could not, he thinks, have been owing to their lack of quality, for "anyone can see that they are correct iambic pentameters. 7 ' We wonder what more those American editors could want than correct iambic pentameters! OUTLOOK, 167 Strand, W. S., London, February 19, 1916. "Pieces of Eight," by J. A. Chaloner. (Xorth Carolina Palmetto Press. 25 cents.) A sequence of twenty-four war sonnets, the first eight of which were offered to various American newspapers and re- 192 fused. The sonnets are all condemnatory of Germany, and the author suggests that he "aimed at the fierceness of Swift" in his denunciation. HCDDEKSFIELD WEEKLY EXAMINEE, England. February 19. 1916. OX THE BAT'S BACK. "Where the bee sucks, there lurk I: In a cowslip's bell I lie: There I couch when owls do cry, On the bat's back do I fly After summer nierrilv." The Tempest. PIECES OF EIGHT." The Americans are a wonderful people. They have given to the world the Declaration of Independence, cock- tails, and the poems of Ella Wheeler Willcox. They have also produced Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner. of "The Merry Mills." Cobham. Albemarle county. Virginia. Lest, in your benighted ignorance, you should be unaware of the antece- dents and achievements of that gentleman, let me inform you in his own words, that he is " an Anglo-Saxon who has also the following strains in his veins — namely. Welsh. Scotch Scotch-Irish. French. Dutch, and German, and whose pro- genitors sailed from Tenby. Wales, in 1710. and landed at Charleston. South Carolina — a veritable olla podrida of an- cestors, as you will observe. Mr. Chaloner has already made the world of letters richer by a treatise on "The Lunacy Laws of the World" and a metrical nosegay under the title of "Scorpio." He now seeks, under the further influence of the divine afflatus, to "unbosom himself upon the European sit- uation.' , and does so in a slim volume of twenty-nine sonnets, entitled "Pieces of Eight." The dominating strain in our sonneteer is evidently British — Proud am I that my veins do course thy blood. Proud am I that my home's beyond the sea — Home o" my fathers — be it understood — For Columbia's the home that shelters me — 193 and he is vehemently — indeed almost diabolically — pro- Ally. His sonnets are grouped together under the engaging title, "Swine of the Gaderenes," and he is out (in vulgar parlance) to let our enemies "have it in the neck." POEMS OF PUGNACITY. When "Scorpio" claimed the attention of the Press in 1908, Lord Alfred Douglas hailed its author, in the columns of the Academy as a "metrical bruiser." The appellation is apt. Mr. Chaloner goes for his spiritual foes bald-headed, and neither gives nor asks for quarter. "How far" he writes, "we fall below the standard of fierceness set forever and in all tonguefc — bar, possibly, only Juvenal, Voltaire and Lord Byron — by the mighty Dean of St. Patrick's — is for others to judge." As a humble member of these others / confess that for frankness of expression our poet appears to me to out-Swift Swift. He writes beneath the American flag, but his enthusiasm could not be bettered in London, Paris or Petrograd. If he lays on the stripes, he makes his op- ponents see stars. Had Mrs. Willcox mothered these sonnets, I doubt not that she would have labelled them "poems of Pugnacity." They certainly deserve the title. Our metrical prize-fighter commences his series with an en- gaging little trifle entitled "Pig-Sticking," the introductory lines of which run as follows: The swine o'th' Gadarenes are here once more, That demon-haunted herd now scours the earth, Led by Bill William Two, their great wild boar; Their antics, 'pon my soul, give cause for mirth! "Bill William Two" is left under no possible misappre- hension as to the opinion which our author holds of him. Elsewhere he is hailed as - Thou treaty-breaking, perjured potentate, and Scrofulous leper, with a wither'd arm. 194 While Mr. Clialoner puts into the innocent mouth of Mr. St. Loe Strachey, the delicate warning: — Watch out for that bloody Dutchman, Windy Bill, That smug, moustacho'd lanz-knecht, William Two. Shades of "my Grandmother"! What would the regular readers of The Spectator say, were their editor, indeed to address them in this fashion? As for the "psychology" of Professor Hugo Munsterberg, of Harvard, Our Modern Swift describes it thus : Back numberd dry-as-dust rot-gut it be Enough to make Emanuel Kant blank stare. And as for the enemy, in gross, Mr. Clialoner encourag- ingly assures us that These gross Sausage-eaters surely haYe no show — Less chance than snowball in fell hottest hell. A forceful, though not original simile, which I should never have thought of myself. METRICAL BRUISING. Our sonneteer has nothing but contempt for "Jews and Gentiles, Bond and free, and All other members and Sup- porters of Premature-Peace Societies." His feelings, I dare say, are shared by most of us, but we would hardly have the temerity to express them as he does. As thus: — Ye piffling little squirts that drape the earth, or Lying fakers who the tin horn toot. Mr. W. R. Hearst, the American press magnate who "for palpably selfish ends yells for premature-peace in Europe/' comes in for a similar lash of the whip — "and id hoc genus omne" as our poet puts it. 195 Ye pimps and panders of the daily press Pimping your vicious wares e'en day by day, Ye make me smile — e'en laugh — I must confess, The way ye do your blooming public u play." Flim-flam and buncombe are your stock-in-trade "Hot-air" hypocrisy your longest suit. To this friendly greeting is appended a foot-note, which concludes: "Mr. W. E. Hearse (we spell it this way inten- tionally, since his character acts as funeral casket for his vaulting political hopes) we are informed, owns rather a large tract of land in Mexico. Eh ! What ! And also prints a German edition of the Evening Journal. Eh! What! 77 I myself feel pretty strongly about some of our British news- paper magnates, but I should not venture to castigate them with quite such vehemence as that. But Mr. Chaloner has no such qualms. He sees what he calls elsewhere "the cold, hard, undodgeable, non-lie -out able faef- that Premature-Peace people whether here, or in the United States, are flaying Germany's game, and, having seen it, he has no hesitation in expressing his opinion- in fitting language. .Nor has he any doubts as to the issue of the war. He speaks confidently of a time "when Germany shall have been crushed between the upper and nether millstone — between the Colossus of the North and France — and her undaunted but tottering ally, Austria — a house divided into three warring sections against itself — Teuton — Magyar — and Slav — shall have been actually dismem- bered" ! I wonder how the printer keeps up with the demand for dashes! AMERICA AXD THE ALLIES. I hope that in the improbable event these lines reach Mr. Chaloner's eye. he will forgive me for chaffing him so freely. For I appreciate, as any Englishman must, the deep and sincere sympathy for the Allied cause which has dictated these sonnets, and the passionate hatred of the Prussian mili- tary machine which breathes through every line of them. And I believe that, for all President Wilson 7 s silence, our sonneteer expresses the feelings of the majority of his fellow-country- men. America is with us in this struggle. Whether she as- 196 sures us of her sympatic in the shattering denunciations of Mr. Chaloner, or in the gentler cadences of less strenuous voices, we accept and value all that is involved in her support. We understand her problems no better than she under- stands ours, and perhaps if we were in the place of Mr. Wilson, we should have played no more dramatic part. But it is an immense asset to the cause of the Allies — not only now, but for the future — that the citizens of the United States should have passed judgment upon our enemies as unmistaka- bly as they have done, and that after full discussion and con- sideration. America has her quarrel with us over the block- ade — a quarrel which foolish folk would have us exacer- bate — but it is a quarrel of legal nicety rather than of moral responsibility. With Germany her quarrel — as is abundantly evident in these sonnets — is that of civilization, outraged and ravished by Prussian "necessity." Many Americans, as we know, are fretted by their President's impassivity. Mr. Chal- oner is one of them. He strains at the leash and fumes to be off on the trail. But I think we are justified in assuring him and all who think with him, that we in this country ap- preciate the sympathy which we know to be ours, and realize the great services which American men and women have al- ready rendered to the cause of humanity in the war. If we wish for something more, that is only natural. But for what we have already received, we are grateful. AKIEL. HAMPSHIRE INDEPENDENT, England, February 10, 1916. "Pieces of Eight 77 is a long pamphlet, by Mr. John Arm- strong Chaloner, the author of "Scorpio' 7 , a copy of which is sent us by the publishers, the Palmetto Press, of Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina, U. S. A. It embodies a sequence of twenty-four war sonnets by Mr. Chaloner, who is "an Anglo-Saxon, who has also the following strains in his veins, namely, Welsh, Scotch, Scotch-Irish, French, Dutch, and Ger- man, and whose progenitors sailed from Tenby, in Wales, in 1710, and landed at Charleston. South Carolina, 77 and the writer desires through its pages to unbosom himself upon the 197 present European situation. He is no pro-German. Listen to what he writes about u The Kaiser": — '"Thou treaty-breaking, perjured potentate! Blaspheming with thy lips the God of Truth Each time that thou dost dare asseverate That 'God is on thy side' — thou great uncouth ! The fate of Ananias hangs o'er thee That sword of Damocles o'er thee suspends And in the end thou shalt fiat ruined be When in the ''rechnung^ thou dost pay amends. Thy mighty ancestor Frederick the Great Turns in his grave at sight of thy foul deed Which makes all true men the name German hat© As synonym for bloodshed and for greed. My German blood doth curse thee to deep Hell A curse as black as rhyme and reason spell." This is dated September First, 1914, so that Mr. Chaloner soon formed his opinion of the Master Hun. His other son- nets — several are in French — are in much the same view, all in denunciation of German treachery and murderous intent, and of praise of the bravery of the heroes of Belgium and of the Allies generally. THE ENFIELD OBSERVES, England, February 19, 1916. EDITOR'S TABLE. An American Champions The Entente. There is no beating about the bush in the war sonnets by an American, John Armstrong Chaloner, and published under the singular title "Pieces of Eight." Cosmopolitan in blood, he has brought together, within the compass of some fifty pages, scathing condemnation of German war methods, addressing the Kaiser as "Thou treaty-breaking perjured po- tentate"; tells supporters of Premature-Peace Societies that "your antics shew what cowards can be found in big Amer- 198 ica"; and, singing of the British Empire, declares that "The English-speaking race for aye is one. And all who brave it to defeat go down." Appendix notes which elaborate the themes of the sonnets should leave the reader in no doubt as to which side the writer's sympathies incline, and amongst various reprints contributed to American journals is a fore- cast, written August, 1914. that the war u:iU last more like three years than three months: that France will reverse 1870 . . . and that France, Russia and Great Britian will become the police force of Europe. This interesting little publication comes from the Palmetto Press. Eoanoke Rapids, North Caro- lina, and is priced at 25 cents. DOESET COUNTY CHRONICLE. England. February 17, 1916. "Pieces of Eight" is the title of a sequence of twenty-four war sonnets by John Armstrong Chaloner (author of "Scor- pio"), in which an "Anglo-Saxon with Welsh. Scotch. Scotch- Irish. French. Dutch, and German blood, and whose progeni- tors sailed from Tenby, in 1710." unbosoms himself upon the European situation. Mr. Chaloner is a well-known American, and in these full-blooded verses he utters scathing contempt for the Hun and all his works. The "pieces" were apparently too much for the New York papers, for they refused publica- tion, and so Mr. Chaloner sends them over here in this form (price 25 cents). It is a fierce judgment which he passes on the Kaiser: "Scrofulous leper with a withered arm." "crip- pled German clown." are phrases in one of the sonnets, though the poet is careful to say that he means moral and not Asiatic leprosy. Mr. Chaloner evidently hates the German thoroughly, and he fairly lets himself go. They are clever sonnets, too. and because they are so hiohly finished they are the mwe deadly. The book issues from the Palmetto Press. Roanoke Rapids, Xorth Carolina. 199 MONMOUTHSHIRE EVENING POST, England, Wednes- day, March 1, 1916. "PIECES OF EIGHT." "Pieces of Eight" is a sequence of twenty-four war songs, by John Armstrong Chaloner, author of "Scorpio," published at 25 cents, by the Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, Noiih Carolina. The author, who describes himself as "an Anglo- Saxon who has also the following strains in his veins, namely, Welsh, Scotch, Scotch-Irish, French, Dutch, and German, and whose progenitors sailed from Tenby, Wales, in 1710, and landed at Charleston, South Carolina," is a very emphatic sympathiser with the Allies, and in these sonnets he does not mince his words. He apostrophises the Germans in the very strongest terms, and there is an inclination at times to sacri- fice poetry for denunciation. There can he no mistaking the virility of these sonnets, however. THE BRIDPORT NEWS, and DORSET, DEVON AND SOMERSET ADVERTISER, Bridport, England, February 18, 1916. REVIEWS. "Pieces of Eight," — One would naturally conclude that a book bearing this title liad something to tell us of the Spanish Main and the prizes of the cruel and haughty buccaneers of of the 16th and 17th centuries, but it has a far different pur- pose. As a matter of fact, it is a small volume of twenty- four war sonnets, entitled "The Swine of the Gadarenes," by Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner, and published by the Pal- metto Press, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. The title "Pieces of Eight" refers to the first eight sonnets in this se- quence, which were refused publication, although offered free, 200 by the New York Herald, the New York American, and the Boston Advertiser. They are cleverly written sonnets in praise of the Allies and in condemnation of the murdering Huns. Sonnet Five, which we reproduce, will give an idea of the intensity of feeling against the German outrages on the part of the author, who in this respect, represents the feeling of the civilized world. It is addressed: TO THE GERMAN ARMY OFFICERS: Who were your Mothers? The foul hags of Hell? And who your Fathers? Who? Fiends incarnate? And do your sisters, prithee, harlot spell? The premise to this sonnet thus I state. How otherwise could ye foul do a thing That's left to negroes wild, and savages? Outrage so ghastly that the world doth ring With your most Hellish Belgian ravages! Were justice to be done your Kaiser'd fall He and his Hellish brood would be cut oil' And your flayed hides would form their funeral pall In coldest frame I write — not lightsome scoif. Ye act like a band of drunken Malays Who as acts of God rape and arson appraise. THE DEVON AND EXETER GAZETTE, Exeter, Eng- land, February 22, 1916. "Pieces of Eight" is a somewhat strange title to a book of verse, published by the Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. It is a sequence of twenty-four War Sonnets by John Armstrong Chaloner. Originally the sequence con- sisted of eight — hence the title. But others were added with- out the name being changed. We only can say the poetry is of a strong order — in fact, the author says "nothing but the dire — the awful cataclysm — now unfolding itself on the field of Europe, and our desire to stand by civilization, truth, and honour — as shown by regard for a nation's pledged word in a treaty — could have induced us to brave the possible storm of 201 protest at the strength of our denunciation in 'Pieces of Eight' and accompanying sonnets — or sullen silence of cold disap- proval. . . . We aim at the fierceness of Swift when we de- nounce. How far we fall below the standard of fierceness set forever and in all tongues — bar, possibly, only Juvenal, Vol- taire, and Lord Byron — by the mighty Dean of St. Patrick's — is for others to judge. 7 ' Here is a sample of the poet's aroused feelings. Addressing the Kaiser, he says: — "Thou treaty-breaking, perjured potentate! Blaspheming with thy lips the God of Truth Each time that thou dost dare asseverate That 'God is on thy side' — thou great uncouth ! The fate of Ananias hangs o'er thee." But while the pen is dipped in gall to word-paint our enemies, Mr. Chaloner is full of eulogies for the brave Bel- gians^ — "Nation of heroes! men proud, superb, and strong — Who for Liberty like water pour your blood! 'Strong as Death for Liberty' is your war song. 'Strong as our faith in Jesus Christ His rood' ". He has some sarcastic lines for England in his sonnet on Lord Roberts — the "stark old warrior and soldier fine," who "foretold Britian's peril line by line." Mr. 'Chaloner is right — the voice of "Bobs" did cry in the wilderness alone, the people slept the sleep of Laish the lost. "Now for their folly do they dear atone Now do they train armed millions — ah! the cost. Old hero ! Thy wise words are writ in blood ! Hereafter armed will he British manhood" We wish we could subscribe to the latter sentiment. To- day there is still too much of the policy of "Wait and See" to be at all certain that Britain will ever be armed as she should be. The book is one which will arouse one's feelings to, at least, a vigorous denunciation of our enemies and a kindly ap- preciation of the great acts of heroism on the part of our Allies. One feels decidedly better after reading the sonnets. 202 JOHN O'GBOAT'S JOURNAL. Friday. March 10. 1916. and WEEKLY ADVERTISER for the counties of Caithness, Sutherland, Ross. Cromarty. Orkney, and Zet- land. Scotland. LITERATURE. SMASHING SOXXETS. "Pieces of Eight" is the somewhat striking title of a large pamphlet by John Armstrong Chaloner. author of "Scorpio."' and issued by the Palmetto Press. Roanoke Rapids. Xorth Caro- lina, price 25 cents, or Is. The "Pieces of Eight" are war son- nets, and there are many others, all characterized by extremely vigorous expression, the emphasis of independent thought be- ing more evident even than the poetical quality of the lines. We like Mr. Chaloners straight hitting, and should like to meet him and say "shake I" In what he calls his prologue he gives the Breakers of Treaties a bit of his mind, and its to be hoped they 11 profit by it. The sonnets and prose letters are even, more direct in their sledge-hammer style than the prologue, and if the author aims at the fierceness of Swift when, he denounces, he certainly does not fall far below the standard set by the mighty Dean of St. Par ride's:' The gen- eral heading of the sonnets is "The Swine of the Gadarenes/ 7 and thus he opens: — The swine o" th' Gaderenes are here once more, That demon-haunted herd now scours the earth. Led by Bill William Two. their great wild boar" : — Enough said. ATHENAEUM, London. March. 1916. Chaloner (John Armstrong). Pieces Of Eight: a sequence of 24 war-sonnets. Roanoke Rapids. Xorth Carolina. Pal- metto Press. 1914. 9 in. 65 pp. pamphlet, 25 cents. A collection of thirty-two violent journalistic sonnets, twenty-nine of which are grouped under the title "The Swine 203 of the Gaderenes." In this invective against the Germans the author takes Swift as his model, and the sledge-hammer as his weapon, but is likely to confuse the reader by filling up so much space (32 pp.) with notes, comments, extracts from newspaper reports, and reviews of his previous work. PULLENS KENT ARGUS, September 30, 1916, Ramsgate. LITERATURE. "Jupiter Tonans." — We have once more been favored with a series of sonnets by Mr. John Armstrong Chaloner, the author of "Scorpio," "Pieces of Eight," &c, and once more the author puts his pro-British thoughts into powerful words, as evidenced by the epilogue: — And now farewell forever and a day ! No more advice to Britain do we give. We did mean well in all that we did say If we have chafed thy feelings: — pray forgive. We now retire forever from the world And all our time devote unto the Muse In Whose sweet service is our incense curled Who aids us when our rights our foes abuse. These sweet Virginia Woodlands are our home We love the people and we love the clime No more through the broad world shall we bold roam But worshipping the Muses pass our time. Farewell bold Britons! We be of one blood. So help me G — d, I've writ but for thy good! KENT MESSENGER, October 1, 1916. Maidstone. REVIEWS. "Jupiter Tonans" (Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina) , is a sequence of seven sonnets by Mr. John 204 Armstrong Chaloner, who continues the scathing contempt which he has previously shown for the Hun and all hi9 works, while he tenders advice to "Albion." THE ATHENAEUM, London, England, January, 1917. Chaloner (John Armstrong). Jupiter Tonans: a se- quence of seven sonnets. Eoanoke Kapids, North Carolina, .Palmetto Press, 1916. 9% inches, 27 pp., paper. This collection of verse shows us something of what Mr. Chesterton called "rich badness"; it is the effusion, in several cascades, so to speak, of all-round invective. The author is quite right in saying at the end of his Prologue : — Prepare bold Britons, for a dreadful time When ye do turn the page and read our rhyme. The HARROGATE HERALD. England, Sept. 2, 1916. NOTES ON BOOKS. "Jupiter Tonans" by John Armstrong Chaloner, the author of "Scorpio," "Pieces of Eight," is a sequence of seven sonnets arising out of the war. There is a gentle irony and a perverse humour running through the verses that mark them out from the usual war sonnets. Truth is quaintly expressed, whilst there is a piquancy about the criticism which gives it a flavour. It is published by the Palmetto Press. 205 What the Law Reviews Have to Say About "The Lunacy Law of The World' ' by J. A. Chaloner. XOBTHEASTEBX KEPOETES. St. Paul. Minn., July. 190T. "The Palmetto Press, Eoanoke Eapids. X. C, lias printed a book on "The Lunacy Law of the AYc-rld," by J. A. Chaloner, of the same place. It is an examination of the laws of each of the States and Territories, and of the Six Great Powers of Europe, on this subject, and is in terms a very severe arraignment of most of them. It would appear that the iniquitous system against which Charles Eeacle waged war has by no means disappeared. People may still be in- carcerated in insane asylums without notice, and without an opportunity to be heard, either in person or by attorney : and once in an asylum, a patient has little protection against the keepers. They may be wise, and kind, but the instances of cruelty which occasionally reach the public indicate that this. is not a safe assumption. Mr. Chaloner holds a brief for the accused, and pats his case very strongly, but, in viae of the cases he cites, it would be impossible to state the matter too strongly. Pie says: "A survey of the field of Lunacy Legislation the world over presents to-day an appalling spectacle. It affords, to put- it mildly, the strongest card in favor of anarchy — of no law — ever laid upon the table of world-politics; and throws into lamentable relief the fact that in about forty per cent, of the States and Territories of the United States neither the Bench — with many honorable exceptions — the Bar nor the Legislature, can be entrusted with safeguarding that funda- mental principle of libertv, the absolute rights of the indi- vidual." "The book should awaken public interest in an important matter." 206 THE OHIO LAW BULLETIN. Norwalk, Ohio. July 29. 1907. "Chaloner. Lunacy Law of the World. A criticism of the practice of adjudging persons incom- petent and depriving them of their liberties without due process of lau\ fortified by decisions of the courts, is the theme upon which the author has developed this interesting and instructive work. The lunacy law of all the States of the L~nion and six of the Great Powers of Europe are re- viewed, and surprising as it may seem, nearly half of the States and Great Britain fail to require notice of the inqui- sition to be given the alleged lunatic or incompetent : twenty- four of the States and Germany and Great Britain fail to afford him opportunity to appear and be heard. The author makes it conclusively appear that there is needed revision of these laws. Edited by J. A. Chaloner. counsellor at law. Published by the Palmetto Press. Eoanoke Rapids. X. C. THE OKLAHOMA LAW JOURNAL. Guthrie. Oklahoma, September. 1907. ;, The Lunacy Law of the TTorld. 1 By J. A. Chaloner. Published by the Palmetto Press. Roanoke Rapids. X. C. This is a volume of nearly four hundred pages, well printed, but bound in paper covers — a point always detri- mental to the sale as well as the dignity of a law book. How- ever, when- the contents are carefully read and reflected upon*, it is found one of the lest and most needed books that has appeared for many years. The subject of Lunacy Law in spite of all the legislation we have had in other departments, has received little atten- tion. In fact, it is little better than when Charles Reade wrote his book entitled "Hard Cash." The fact that many mentally deranged persons are incapable of comprehending the nature of the steps taken to place them in custody, the custom has become prevalent that no process is needed to place them on trial as to their sanity. It is to be remembered 207 that in every State of the Union, and in fact, in every country of the world, fraud has been perpetrated on men and women of means by greedy relatives and the unfortunate ones placed in asylums for no other purpose than to secure control of their property. And further it should be remembered that one once adjudged insane if he cannot secure a hearing of his right to restoration through the influence of true friends he is forever barred of the right to be heard. He has lost the standing of a citizen. There is much in Mr. ^Chaloner 's book that should be ivell studied by every lawyer and legislator as to what should be done to secure the constitutional rights of every one alleged to be of unsound mind. The book care- fully goes over the law of lunacy in the forty-five States and territories as well as that of the leading nations of Europe." LANCASTER LAW REVIEW. Lancaster, Pa., September 30, 1907. By J. A. Chaloner, Counsellor at law Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, N". C. The work is a review of the lunacy laws of the States and Territories of this country together with those of Great Britain, France, Italy, Germany, Austria and Russia, with a view of showing their defects mainly in regard to afford- ing proper protection to the alleged lunatic. To those of us who have been accustomed to look with complacency on our lunacy laws, remembering how lunatics were thrown into dungeons and chained and tortured hut a short time ago, this booh brings j^me some startling truths. It shows clearly the dangers ojFWhat class of legislation m force in England and many of our States (as our own Act of April 20, 18,69 P. Z., 78) which permits an alleged lunatic to be incarcerated upon the certificate of u two or more repu- table physicians.^ The author contends that in lunacy proceedings notice to the alleged lunatic ought to be absolutely essential and that the trial should be by jury in the presence of the alleged lunatic; that any other practice is a violation of his consti- tutional rights and dangerous, in that it might be used by designing relatives for fraudulent purposes. 208 The importance of a jury trial in such cases has been recognized by Judge Brewster in Com. ex rel vs. Kirkbride, 2 Brewster, 402. The writ of habeas corpus is not a sufficient safeguard. In setting forth the importance of allowing the alleged lunatic an opportunity to appear, the author says: 'The test of sanity is a mental test wholly within the power of the accused to accomplish and without any wit- nesses, professional or lay, to back him up. Suppose two paid experts in insanity, in the pay of the other side, swear defendant's mind cannot tell what his past history has been — that said defendant's mind is a total blank upon the subject. Would that professional and paid and interested oath stand against the defendants refutation thereof by taking the stand and promptly and lucidly giving his past history, pro- vided he were afforded his legal privilege of taking the stand in place of being kept away from court and having to allow his liberty and property to be perjured away from him in his enforced absence?' (Page 217). Collusion would be very difficult to prove. It has been been held that no presumption arises from the fact that the parties certifying to the alleged lunacy were in fact mis- taken. Williams vs. Le Bar, 141 Pa., 149. The subject is an important and interesting one, and the booh shows extensive and careful research. It is forcefully written and carries conviction." LAW NOTES. Northport, New York, September, 1007. "The Lunacy Law of the World. By J. A. Chaloner, Palmetto Press, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. 1906. Pages 348. The writer is assuredly earnest, setting forth the unquestionable abuses to which the state of the lunacy laws has given rise. The exhaustiveness of his research into the question com- pels admiration, an author who can work through lunacy law from the time of the Emperor Conrad clown to the present/' INDEX (Hell and The Infernal Comedy) Page. INTRODUCTION 3^5< FOREWORD 7 Press Notices 7-13 Letter to Members of Press 14-17 HELL 18 Chapter I 18-32 Hall of Audience 24 Hell, The Call of 19 Lake of Fire and Brimstone, The 29 Message, The £0 Satan, Appearance of 24 Chapter II 32-72 Abner, Son of Ner 64 Abraham 53 Apollo 49 Ashtaroth 64 Austerlitz 54 Awakening After Death, Sensation of 32 Baal 64 Bed-Chamber of Satan 32 Brown, Jones, and Robinson, Equation, The 45 Catechism, The 69-71 Cell, The 68 Decrees of Destiny, The 59 Dragon, The 43 Duel Between Abner and Goliath 64-66 Escorial, The 68 "Everlasting Arms, The" 62 Fenimore Cooper 59 "From India to Mars" 52 Goddesses, Entrance of the 49 Goliath of Gath 64 Half-Lion— Half-Horse, The 43 Harold, The Last English King 57 Hell-Flame 38 Hell, The Rule of 40' Hellish Triangle, The 38 How to Attain the State Indicated by the Dictum: "Be Ye Therefore Perfect Even as Your Father Which is in Heaven is Perfect" 71 Indians, Appearance of the 56 Indian Maidens, Entrance of the 61 Inside the Monastery 68 Lone Indian, The 63 Lord of Hosts, The 64 Lotus Eaters, The 49 "Macbeth" 52 Madame Blavatsky 52 Pag«. Magic Arrows. The 5C Marlowe 51 Marshal Ney 45 Medium 52 Monastery, The Mrs. Piper 52 Muses, The Nine 49 Napoleon Bonaparte r I Xausicaa 49 Old Guard, The 53 Palace of Satan 42 Pontius Pila:e 55 Professor Flournoy 52 Professor William James 51 Prophecy, The Secret 34 Pythagoras 46 Quatre-Bras Quickening :: the Spirit, The Samuel 52 Sardpu 51 Satan, Countenance of » 34-36 Saa! 52 Samson's Secret Force 65 Shakespeare 49 S:s:e: :: Charity Sodom 53 SocratrS -'. Soul-Essence 45 Souls, Transmigration of Speech of the Sister of Charity Speech of the Indian Princess Spirit of the Lord. The 64 Spirituality, Scientific Side of 6^> St Paul Tennyson 49 The Trial by Pontius Pilate 55 Terror, The Unnamed The Sentence 63 The Two Pillars of Faith TO Torture, The True Prayer. Essence of Universe, The Law of the 40 Ulysses 49 Voltaire Waterloo, Cause of Loss of 55 Wit ch of Endor '- L'EXYOI ~- Literary Reviews of Hell Albany, New York. "Press" T9 Boston. Mass.. ''Globe'* Brockton, Mass., •'Times" Bridgeport, Conn., "Post'" Charleston. S. C. "Courier" Chicago "Tribune" Chicago "'Blade" Chippewa Falls, Wis.. "Independent" Columbia, S. C. "State" Page. Cleveland, O., "Leader" 83 Chattanooga, Tenn., "Times" 83 Houston, Tex., "Post" 72 Keokuk, la., "Gate-City" 84 Memphis, Tenn., "Scimitar" 84 New York "Evening Telegram" 72 New York "Herald" 82-91 New York "Telegraph" 79 New York "Tribune" 80 New Orleans "States" 80 New Orleans "Times" 85 Nashville "Tennessean" 82 Norfolk, Va., "Pilot" 83 Omaha, Neb., "Bee" ,. . . 83 Portland, Ore., "Telegram" 72 Richmond, Va., "Leader" 73 Richmond, Va., "Virginian" 75-87 Richmond, Va., "Journal" 84 Richmond, Va., "Times-Dispatch" 85 Raleigh, N. C, "Observer" 84 San Francisco "Chronicle" 76 San Francisco "News" 81 Sacramento, Cal., "Bee" 77 Schenectady, N. Y., "Star" 84 Sioux Falls, S. D., "Press" 84 Wayne, Ind., "Gazette" , 79 Washington, Pa., "Record" 80 THE INFERNAL COMEDY 93-144 LITERARY REVIEWS OF AUTHOR'S WORKS. AMERICAN REVIEWS. Albany, N. Y., "Times-Union" 146 "Bang, The," N. Y 180 Birmingham, Ala., "Age-Herald" 154 Boston, Mass., "Advertiser" 150 Edgar Saltus, in "Vanity Fair" 148 "Evening Sun," N. Y 187 Henry Brinsley in "Vanity Fair" 148 Memphis, Tenn., "News-Scimitar" 149-153 Portland "Oregonian" 152 Portland "Evening Telegram" 152 Providence, R. L, "News-Democrat" 151 Richmond, Va., "News-Leader" 190 Richmond "Virginian" 155 Rochester, N. Y., "Post-Express" 153 St. Louis, Mo., "Star" 16'2 "Saul" (Extract from) 180-187 Theatre Magazine, N. Y 154 "The Hazard of the Die" (Extract from) 159-162 "The Serpent of Old Nile" (Extract from) 163-180 "The Tribune," N. Y 189 Troy, N. Y. "Record" 162 White Plains, N. Y., "Argus" ^ 151 IV Page. BRITISH REVIEWS. Aberdeen "Free Press" 191 Bridport "News" 199 Devon and Exeter "Gazette" 200 Dorset County "Chronicle" 198 Enfield "Observer" 197 Hampshire "Independent" 196 Harrogate "Herald" 204 Huddersfield "Weekly Examiner" 192 John O'Groat's Journal < . . . 202 Kent "Messenger" 203 Monmouthshire "Evening Post" 199 "Outlook, The," London. 191 Pullens Kent "Argus" 203 The London "Academy" 145 The London "Athenaeum" ;20*2-204' LAW RErVIEWS. Lancaster Law Review 207 Law Notes 208 Northeastern Reporter 205 Ohio Law Bulletin 206 Oklahoma Law Journal 206 ERRATA. 12th line from bottom: "sendings" should be "sending." 20th line from top: "form" should be "from." Paragraph 3. The sentence beginning "The time has come" should be in italics. 6th line from top: "act" should be "fact" There should be quotation marks at the end of paragraph 1. 6th line from top: "other" should be "rather." 17th line from bottom: After the word "war" should be in- serted: "between the States." 12th line from bottom: "side" should be "sides." 13th line from bottom: "fida" should be "fide." 14th line from top: There should be a period after the word "Thinker." P. 54. 15th line from top: Hyphen, not dash, between "lightning and "like." P. 59. 19th line from top: There should be a period after the word P. 61. 14th line from bottom: The word "as" should be inserted be- tween "were" and "much." P. 68. 7th line from top: "doors" should be "walls." ^ P 71 9th line from bottom: "of it" should be "to it." P. 149. 5th line from top: There should be a period at end of fifth line from top. ^ P. 158. 18th line from top: "Thought" should be Thoughts. P. 14. P. 15. p. 34. p. 40. P. 41. p. 47. p. 50. p. ■5.0. p. 52. p. 54. HKZ57-78 ***** ^ «4> A <^ .V - *b ^ v>" ': ^^ £1 J ^ •V o V 9 I 1 > ^ ^ .^ ^5 ^ ^°^ -■>. Deacidified using the Bookkeeper proces Neutralizing Agent: Magnesium Oxide Treatment Date: illf* - JA ma BOOKKEEPER PRESERVATION TECHNOLOGIES, LP. « -.V 1 ^*«n *• 4 A 1 1 1 Thomson Park Drive ^i/, • l \ > Cranberry Township, PA 16066 ,CT * • ' ' * ♦ O AT O °^ (724)779-2111 • ••'