PS 3507 A75E4 ^ iTightlS[?_ COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. imnnmnqiffi ^ Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2011 with funding from The Library of Congress http://www.archive.org/details/efficiencyplayinOOdavi EFFICIENCY ROBERT H. DAVIS PERLEY POORE SHEEHAN The original Cast of EFFICIENCY as produced under the Direction of Frank Conroy at The Greenwich Village Theatre New York The Emperor Frank Conroy The Professor Eugene Ward Number Two-Forty-One . . Joseph Macaulay FRANK CONROY as "the emperor" in "efficiency' The Greenwich Village Edition EFFICIENCY A PLAY IN ONE ACT BY $ £ ROBERT H. pAVIS AND PERLEY POORE SHEEHAN WITH APPRECIATION BY THEODORE ROOSEVELT NEW YORK GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY MCMXVII , COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY ROBERT H. DAVIS BEC 31 1917 PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ©CLA481190 APPRECIATION BY THEODORE ROOSEVELT MimopoinAN 432 FOURTH AVENUE NEW YORK -ko§£%SL* 8ova » ber *• 1917 - Gentlemen: I very heartily congratulate you, as an American, upon having produced thiamin the form of a play and in now producing it in the form of a story* You teach a great lesson. You show in dramatic manner now the Prussianized militaristic autocracy of the flohen- zollems has turned Germany into an inhuman machine for the destruction of what is highest and best in mankind. Germany to-day occupies, toward other peoples, and to a great extent toward her own docile and deluded working* men and peasants, a position which in point of internation- al morality does not essentially differ from that of the Mongols under Genghis Khan, and the Tartars under Timur. But in addition to imitating m or-ala-of- t h a dr s adful^ Mongole and Tartars, the Germany of the Hohenzollerns has brought every resource of a materialistic civilization, and especially every resource of a materialistic science to aid in the wide-spread application of their brutal, treacherous, and merciless fMttato£« In consequence, Germany has made herself a source of horror, to all free peoples. ive set out w eli German militarism. To complete the picture, however, -pear You have set out weH the hideous evil of 4-32 FOURTH AVENUE -NEW YORK Office of Iheodore Roosevelt ■■ 3 «• KlgtOUW^ 1 bow this brutal militarism has been aided by the unmanlykpacifism in certain other countries, including our own. The American professional pacifist has been ths efficient ally of the brutal German militar- \ ist» Each alike has failed to understand that righteous- ness must be our aim; that we must endeavor to secure justice and fair-dealing and mercv as between jaan and - , man, a»6 as between man and woman^ia^ IxTthe long painful struggle to achieve these ends, weakness and timidity are trait or. sham virtues/ and those who profess and practice them^give aid and comfort to the apostles of brutal wrong-doing. Sincerely yours, Mr . Robert H. Davis, Mr. Perley P. Sheenan, 8 West 40th Street, Wew York. CAST OF CHARACTERS The Emperor The Scientist Number 241 IX ILLUSTRATIONS Frank Conroy as the Emperor in Efficiency . . Frontispiece PAGE Scientist: "A triumph over matter. The fragment of a soldier reconstructed under the magic touch of Science, without which he would to-day be rotting on the field — a source of pestilence — a worthless thing. Science set him on his feet, gave him a leg, an arm, hands, a telephonic ear, a telescopic eye!" 22 Scientist: "We can now take a soldier, no matter how badly wounded and return him to the trenches — no longer a bungling mortal man — but a beautiful effi- cient machine! . . . We recruit from the hospitals." Emperor: "And the hospitals are overflowing. My dear Professor. Science is the hope of the dynasty" . . 28 Emperor: "There is but one higher decoration — the symbol of Divine Right — the Reward of Heaven — which I alone possess" 32 Voice of 241 : "You have made me — live — in the dark — and now you shall — die in the dark! ... Go as a king — should go — to meet the King — of Kings!". . 36 XI EFFICIENCY THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY The Emperor, a person attired in military costume, in- dicating the highest order of elaborate modern mode, sage green in tone. He wears a short, olive- coloured cape coat, the left flap of which is thrown back disclosing: (1) The Order of Merit; (2) the Triple Cross; (3) a seven-starred emblem of dia- monds, emeralds and rubies, known as the Reward of Heaven, designed by the Emperor himself and bestowed by the grace of the Almighty upon His Majesty's Imperial person. The Scientist, a small, thin man, garbed in frock suit, flowing black tie ; thin of face ; bulging eyes ; horn spectacles; heavy head of grey hair; thin, straggly, grey beard and small moustache. He is very ani- mated. He wears a long, Inverness style dark overcoat and carries a portfolio containing reports and statistical matter. Number 241, stands six feet; is very erect and stiff of posture; closely cropped hair; large face, rather heavy of expression. Upon entering he is garbed in full-length war-grey cloak, with wide band at waist buttoned in front ; the conventional metal war helmet now in general use; hands in white-cotton gloves. He moves with the deliberation of an au- tomaton. In reality he is fifty per cent, human and fifty per cent, machine, being composed of: (1) left artificial leg; (2) two artificial hands;- (3) artificial right forearm and elbow; (4) artificial * left eye which Scientist has converted into a tele- xvi THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY scope; (5) artificial left ear which is also a tele- phone; (6) all his teeth are metal — synthetic gold — but cheaper and harder. He can bite barbed wire in twain. Underneath his great cloak he wears the regulation infantry uniform and a bay- onet in a scabbard. His speech is laboured. SCENE Private audience chamber of an Emperor, in purple and gold, with magnificent throne-chair carved elab- orately, a canopy extending over the seat. Regal flat- top table left centre containing mounted figure of the Emperor in bronze and a large mushroom gold gong. A purple-and-gold cloth falls over both ends of the table. The cloth is decorated with crown and sceptre. Heavy purple curtains fall from back wall. A modern rifle leans against the left back corner. EFFICIENCY (At rise of curtain stage empty. Enter the Emperor followed by the Scientist— the Em- peror with a curt and preoccupied air, the Sci- entist with an air of fawning enthusiasm.) Emperor (Crossing toward throne-chair, in which he seats himself.) Proceed ! Proceed ! Scientist (Placing portfolio on table and smilingly rub- bing his hands.) Modesty, Sire, causes me to falter. Emperor ( Without enthusiasm. ) My time is limited. The Crown Prince awaits me. Scientist (Quivering with enthusiasm.) When your Majesty comprehends this greatest of all birthday gifts! — a million cripples transformed into a million fighting units! — your Majesty's might becomes terrible ! 19 20 EFFICIENCY Emperor (Indulgently.) Generalities ! Scientist I particularize (as Emperor makes sharp gesture that he is ready to listen). The keynote of efficiency is the elimination of waste. Our problem was to eliminate the waste represented by the wounded. In brief — we have succeeded. Emperor (Beginning to display interest.) How so? Scientist After countless experiments, we can now take a sol- dier, no matter how badly wounded, and return him to the trenches — a supersoldier — no longer a bungling, mortal man — but a beautiful, efficient machine ! Emperor (Laughing.) You are enthusiastic but — not contagious! (depreca- tory gesture) — but — (sternly) — your promises have not always been kept. The proof! Scientist (With impulsive devotion.) Your Majesty, I foresaw your doubts. I brought — Emperor Ha ! A — specimen ! EFFICIENCY 21 Scientist (Appreciating the jeu d' esprit.) Perfectly! He is in the ante-room. Emperor (Curtly.) Bring him in! Bring him in! Scientist Er — I beg your Majesty's pardon — but — he is not — altogether pleasant to look upon. Emperor Nonsense! Whatever makes for the strength of the dynasty is agreeable to the imperial eyes. Scientist (With tremulous delight.) May I? Emperor Certainly! Make haste! Scientist (Nimbly crosses to door, opens it, and ejacu- lates command.) Attention ! Forward ! Hep ! (There is a momentary silence, then a metallic clatter as if caused by a movement of iron, then a heavy step. Enter 241, erect, with measured tread, observing nothing. He comes down to centre of stage, where he stops in re- sponse to the Scientist's order.) 22 EFFICIENCY Halt! (As 241 stands at military attention, the Sci- entist, with manifest delight, flutters bowing before Emperor and explains.) The ultimate triumph! — our two hundred and forty- first experiment — Hence — Number Two Hundred and Forty-One ! (During this explanation 241 does not stir.) (The Emperor stares at 241 with a sort of hor- rified fascination.) Emperor He — marches — splendidly ! Scientist The least of his accomplishments. Permit me ! (Re- turns to 241, whom he prods, 241 remaining impassive.) Magnificent! (gesture of approval as he carries on in- spection of arms, hands, body and head of 241. Buns finger around left eye, taps gently left ear. Contem- plates ensemble and makes gesture for 241 to open mouth. 241 opens mouth and shows glittering array of metallic teeth; he shuts them with click like a steel trap). Perfection! Right arm! (241 lifts right arm in stiff but sweeping gesture.) Left knee! (241 crooks left knee twice.) Hands! (241 opens and closes both cotton-gloved hands and manipulates fingers.) Emperor You guarantee his efficiency? Scientist Absolutely. I 1 KVjr ^BE i I ^» Jr ~ % J l^P ^F ,^ f JB 1 m WBlM ^ i SCIENTIST: "A triumph over matter. The fragment of a soldier reconstructed under the magic touch of Science, without which he would today be rotting on the field — a source of pestilence — a worthless thing. Science set him on his feet, gave him a leg, an arm. hands, a telephonic ear, a telescopic eve !" EFFICIENCY Emperor Demonstrate. Scientist (Approaches 241, who continues to stand im- mobile, and very swiftly removes helmet, long cloak and cotton gloves, disclosing two metallic hands and wrists.) You ask me, your Majesty, if he is efficient. I reply, more efficient than before he fell in battle. (Crosses to corner and gets rifle. Returns to centre.) Two-forty- one, attention! Observe, your Majesty! (Scientist tosses rifle to 241, who catches it surely but stiffly in his metal hands, against which the weapon clangs. Scien- tist puts 241 through manual of arms. The whole scene following is punctuated by military commands in the following order:) "Attention!" "Carry arms!" "Present arms!" "Shoulder arms!" "Parade rest!" And now, your Majesty, mark this ! (resuming orders) : "Fix bayonets!" "Make ready!" "Aim!" "Fire!" (241 completes manoeuvres by pulling trigger and snapping loch, whereupon Scientist takes rifle and tosses it to settee.) 24 EFFICIENCY Emperor (Leaning forward with look of wonderment in his face.) Colossal ! (241 comes to attention and is inert again!) Scientist Are not the possibilities impressive? Emperor Beyond our dreams ! Scientist I estimate the restoration of five army corps now im- mobilised because of missing arms and legs, deafened ears and blinded eyes. Emperor (Meditatively.) Something of a shock — to — civilisation! Scientist (Exultant.) Stupendous! We recruit from the hospitals! Emperor (With dawning realisation of the magnitude of the suggestion.) And the hospitals are overflowing! My dear Profes- sor! Science is the hope of the dynasty EFFICIENCY 25 Is it not amazing? Quite ! Scientist Emperor Scientist (Proceeding with examination.) A test for the ear! (Scientist taps left ear of 241 gently, then crosses behind throne-chair right and makes three light taps on back of chair discernible to audience, while 241 bends ear attentively in that direction, half -turning body. Scientist reappears. 241 resumes original posture, sa- lutes and holds up three fingers.) Emperor (Peering around at Scientist.) What are you doing? Scientist I tapped the throne three times, very gently. Did your Majesty not hear? Emperor No. Scientist Ah, but the supersoldier did — ten paces distant! It is stupendous. (He crosses to table, opens portfolio, takes out a small white card.) (To Emperor.) With your permission. (To 241.) What is written hereon? (241 closes right eye and stares fixedly with left.) 26 EFFICIENCY 241 Noth — ing. Scientist (Smiles knowingly at Emperor. Turns card over.) Ah, very good. (Scientist holds card up again.) Once more. 241 (After a moment of staring he reads deliber- ately. ) A — nation 's — will — should — be — the — will — to — power ! Emperor (Takes card from Scientist and glances at it.) Correct ! Scientist (Crossing to centre and returning card to port- folio, then addressing Emperor.) This is my greatest achievement. Never has science done so much for the human animal. From a shat- tered, bleeding wreck of no value to his country I have made him into an efficient man — hands of steel, leg of bronze, arm of nickel and aluminum, telescopic eye, an ear that (241 bends his ear off stage left.) Emperor (Startled.) You hear something? What do you hear? EFFICIENCY 27 241 A — bugle-call — sounding the assembly! Emperor Impossible! Open the door! (Scientist opens door and distant bugle-call is faintly heard off stage.) Emperor (In astonishment.) God in heaven! Miraculous! (as Scientist gently closes door aglow with triumph). What have you ac- complished ? Scientist (With fervour.) A resurrection! Emperor Complete ! Scientist A triumph over matter. The fragment of a soldier reconstructed under the magic touch of Science, with- out which he would to-day be rotting on the field — a source of pestilence — a worthless thing. Science set him on his feet, gave him a leg, an arm, hands, a tele- phonic ear, a telescopic eye! Emperor (Leans back and deliberately inspects 241.) How long have you been in my service ? (241 hesitates and salutes.) 28 EFFICIENCY Scientist You may speak. 241 Eighteen — years — Majesty. Married ? Yes, Majesty. Children? Seven — Maj esty . Five sons! Emperor 241 Emperor 241 Scientist 241 (Bitterly.) One dead — three — at — the — front — my youngest fol- lows- His age? Emperor 241 (Swallowing.) Sixteen ! Emperor (Coldly to Scientist, referring to 241.) When does his furlough end? SCIENTIST: "We can now take a soldier, no matter how badly wounded, and return him to the trenches — no longer a bungling mortal man — but a beautiful, efficient machine ! . . . We recruit from the hospitals." EMPEROR: "And the hospitals are overflowing fessor, Science is the hope of the dynasty." My dear Pro- EFFICIENCY 29 Scientist Noon, to-morrow. By nightfall he will again be in the trenches. Emperor (Reflectively.) And if he returns — I will award him the Triple Cross. (More brightly.) This will stimulate the military ar- dour of the Crown Prince. It will delight him to see this — reassembled soldier. Scientist (Recalling an important detail.) And moreover, your Majesty, there is this aspect to be considered. We are manufacturing human extremi- ties on a standard, interchangeable basis. For example, as your Majesty perceives, this left leg (picks up ruler from desk and raps left leg of 241, which gives out metallic ring) , is metal. As is also his left forearm, including the elbow. (Taps it.) And both hands. (Taps them also. 241 receives these attentions stoically as each member of his body clangs in a different note.) Furthermore, your gracious Majesty, if any or all of these parts are shattered in the course of battle, our corps of trained mechanicians, ever at hand, supplies the parts by numbers, and the fighting unit embodied in the individual returns with but little loss of time and the minimum of inconvenience to your Majesty's service. Emperor What does he weigh? Scientist Equipped? (Emperor nods.) One hundred and seventy-five pounds. SO EFFICIENCY Emperor And without his equipment? Scientist One hundred and five. Emperor (Brushing his hand across his forehead.) Little more than half a man. Scientist True, your Majesty. And therefore requires but half the rations, half the care of a whole unit. There is that much less to nourish. Emperor You have brought about the greatest advance in the history of civilisation. Tell me, what else of the tele- scopic eye? That interests me. I shall be surprised at nothing. Your achievements baffle. Scientist The telescopic eye, your Majesty — (Scientist circles the left eye of 241 with his finger) is superior to the human eye in two important characteristics. First, it possesses the telescopic quality as you have observed; and, second, its power is undiminished by darkness. Emperor ( With incredibility. ) You mean he can see in the dark? EFFICIENCY 31 Scientist Just that. And moreover, your Majesty- Emperor interest!] Scientist Halt! This is very interesting. We will test that also. Demonstrate. (Dubiously.) Does your Majesty object to darkness? Emperor (Hesitates; then replies with an effort.) No. The electric switch is there (points to white but- ton on the table). Scientist (To 241.) Right about face! Give attention to His Majesty! (Scientist crosses to table and lays his finger beside the button. 241 observes the whole transaction carefully. To Emperor.) I will switch off the light. Be so kind as to perform any act you may, and he will describe your movements. Are you ready? Emperor (Bracing himself in the chair.) Lights out! (Scientist presses button. Stage is in total darkness.) Describe my movements as they occur. Voice of Scientist (To 241.) Do you understand His Majesty? 32 EFFICIENCY Voice op 241 Yes. He — leans — forward — in — his — chair. He — lifts — both — his — hands. The — palms — come — together. He — bows — his — head — in — prayer. Voice of Emperor (Sharply.) Lights ! (Scientist presses button. Lights on, disclos- ing Emperor exactly in the attitude described by 241, with a startled look on his face, palms still together.) Scientist Enough, your Majesty? Emperor (Relaxing nervously.) It is beyond human understanding. (Recovers him- self and rises) — And it gives me infinite happiness to be- stow upon you this mark of our esteem. (Takes from his own breast the Order of Merit and pins it on breast of Scientist.) The Order of Merit! There is but one higher decoration — the symbol of Divine Right — the Re- ward of Heaven. (Emperor lays his hand on the seven-starred emblem.) Which I alone possess. Scientist (Overwhelmed, bows and kisses Emperor's hand.) Your gracious Majesty! To have received this from your imperial hand on your Majesty's birthday is indeed a distinction. EMPEROR: "There is but one higher decoration — the symbol of Divine Right — the Reward of Heaven — which I alone possess." EFFICIENCY 33 (A furtive glance escapes 241, a thin smile re- veals his metallic teeth; a sinister look comes into his eyes. Emperor reseats himself with a gesture of benediction.) Emperor I marvel at his dexterity — at his auricular powers — at his incomparable eyesight! What is his range of vision ? Scientist Your Majesty, he can see the enemy twenty or thirty miles away, count its cannon, its horses, its equipment. Emperor (Quickly.) Wait ! I will make another test. I carry next to my heart the smallest copy of the Bible extant. It can be read only under a microscope. Is the test too se- vere ? Scientist On the contrary, your Majesty: it is preferable. {Crosses and takes Bible from Emperor's hand. Turns to 241.) Attention! Right about face! (241 salutes.) I open the book at haphazard. Read a verse from this page. 241 Matthew — Fifth — Chapter — fourth — verse. ' ' Blessed — are — they — that — mourn — for — they — shall — be — comforted. ' ' Scientist The fifth. 34, EFFICIENCY 241 " Blessed — are — the — meek — for — they — shall — inherit — the — earth. ' ' (Scientist turns to Emperor and bows, the book still open in his hands.) Emperor He is right. I am familiar with Matthew. Turn to another page. (Scientist opens the Bible elsewhere. Holds it up.) Scientist (To 241.) Attention ! Read. 241 Isaiah — Third — Chapter — fifteenth — verse. ' ' What — mean — ye — that — ye — beat — my — people — to — pieces — and — grind — the — faces — of — the — poor — saith — the — Lord — God — of — Hosts. ' ' Emperor STOP! (Emperor leans back in his chair under stress of great emotion, his hand sweeping his brow re- peatedly. Scientist closes the book, bows again with greater humility and returns the book to Emperor.) Emperor (Takes book and thrusts it in his bosom.) His powers are diabolical. I wish to experiment with him alone. (Relaxes and gazes vaguely into the dis- EFFICIENCY 35 tance. Scientist drops portfolio and coat cm settee.) Hasten ! I will summon you with that bell. (241 remains stolidly at attention, an expres- sion of awakening purpose in his eyes.) Scientist Your Majesty commands. (Boivs elaborately. Exit Left. Emperor with Imperial dignity stares 241 down after a duel of the eyes, imposing his will upon the soldier. Follows a moment of inspection in which wonderment is the dominant note. He rises from the throne and walks slowly half way around the impassive soldier, studying him critically. Emperor's expression changes to bewilderment tinged with fear. The situation is uncanny.) Emperor Where were you born? 241 In — the — South — Ma j esty . Emperor Your trade? 241 {With a helpless, involuntary gesture, extend- ing his hands.) I — was — a — florist. (Emperor stares at the metal hands, 241 observing the expression.) I made — bouquets. Not — with — these — (Emperor averts his face ) — but — with — my — absent — hands. 36 EFFICIENCY Emperor (Reseating himself.) War is not a festival of flowers. 241 Majesty— a wreath — I could make — slowly — for the dead. (He leans toward the Emperor.) Emperor (Observing the somewhat cynical note of the soldier, becomes grave.) Are you not grateful to Science for these wonders performed? (241 salutes.) Speak! 241 What— shall— I— say ? Emperor You are a man again — you are whole once more! 241 Yes — Ma j esty . But — my — heart — is — broken. Emperor Why? 241 My — people — are — starving — my — wife — is — lonely — Emperor Then you are not proud that Science has found a way to double the strength of our Army? VOICE OF 241: "You have made me — live — in the dark — and now you shall die in the dark ! ... Go as a king — should go — to meet the King — of Kings !*' EFFICIENCY 37 241 By — bringing — me — twice — to — slaughter. Emperor (Leaning forward, with ferocity, his hands on the arms of his chair.) What, ingrate? 241 By — doubling — the — strength — of — your — army — you — have — multiplied — human — grief. (Takes two steps laboriously toward Em- peror.) Emperor You dare rebel in the presence of your Emperor? 241 Dare ? The — fear — has — gone — out — of — my — tor- tured — body — into — yours. (Takes another step toward electric button, his heavy feet sounding ponderously. Emperor cowers back in the chair, hollow-eyed.) Emperor Down on your knees and crave your Emperor's par- don! 241 That — part — of — me — which — is — steel — — cannot — bend — to — mortal — man. I — will — get — down — on — my — knees — only — to — God — and — ask — Him — to — forgive — me — what — 38 EFFICIENCY I — now — intend — to — do. Twice — in — the — red — shambles — of — the — trenches! I — am — the — hope — of — the — dynasty? (throws his arm wide). No — I — am — the — hope — of — the — people! (with trem- bling rigidity 241 reaches toward electric button). The — day — of — your — birth — shall — henceforth — be — known — as — the — day — of — your — death — and — celebrated — as — the — birthday — of — liberty ! (241 smashes electric button with his steel hand. Total darkness follows. Two slow foot- falls are followed by a gasping intake of breath from the throne-chair.) Voice of Emperor (In terror.) Lights. Lights ! Voice of 241 I — need — no — lights. Voice of Emperor (Gaspingly.) Lights ! Voice of 241 You — have — made me — live — in the dark — and now you shall — die in the dark! Voice of Emperor (Choking.) Mercy ! Voice of 241 You — cannot — escape — me — in — the — shadows. I — can — see — you — I — can — hear — you. Come — to — my — EFFICIENCY 39 iron — arms! Don't — tremble! Don't — shrink! Go — as — a — king — should — go — to — meet — the — King — of — Kings ! (A rush of feet; an overwhelming impact of bodies; a shriek of agony from, the depths; the overturning of the throne; a scuffle in which the human body mingles with the rattle of metal; a long, choking, gasping blast; a ripple of stertorous breath; the clink of metal as 241 gets to his feet. Silence. Again the ponder- ous footfalls are heard crossing the room, which is still in darkness. 241 puts on his overcoat, his helmet, etc. Footfalls are again heard crossing to the table. 241 presses the electric button. Lights.) {There stands 241 in full equipment, the Em- peror lying at the foot of the shattered throne crumpled up in the most unkingly attitude, the emblem known as the Reward of Heaven glit- tering in the light. 241 bends down, rends it from the Emperor's bosom, fixes it upon his own left breast, comes to attention, and rings the gong on the table, which gives out a low re- verberating note. 241 then turns to the door and stands with his arms stiffly suspended at his side, his chest thrown out and a light of vic- tory in his eyes.) (Enter Scientist, left. He takes in the whole terrible scene, cowers back.) Scientist (Gasps as he stares at 241.) What is this? 40 EFFICIENCY 241 (Raising his metal fingers to heaven with an air of thunderous, choking finality.) EF— FI— CIEN— CT! (Curtain.) I HMM11 ^■wnnrnmrnmiynHiimHunimm Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process. Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide Treatment Date: Sept. 2009 PreservationTechnologies A WORLD LEADER IN COLLECTIONS PRESERVATION 111 Thomson Park Drive Cranberry Township, PA 16066 (724)779-2111