Z') 1 2-05 
 
 NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 
 
DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS. 
 
 Price IS Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price fs Gfven. 
 
 COMEDIES, :MELODPwVMAS, Etc. 
 
 All that Glitters is not Gold, 2 
 acts, 2 hrs 
 
 Aunt Dinah's Pledge, temper- 
 ance, 2 acts, 1 hr ; 
 
 Beggar Venus, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 
 min (250) 
 
 Blow for Blow, 4 acts. 2 hrs. . . 
 
 Bonnybell, operetta. 1 h. (250) . 
 
 Caste, 3 acts. 2 hrs. 3i_) niiu 
 
 Chimney Corner, 2 acts, 1 hr. 
 30 min. : 
 
 Danger Signal', 2 acts, 2 hrs 
 
 Diplomates, 4 acts, 3 hrs. (25c) 
 
 Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 
 30 min , (25c) 
 
 Early Vows, 2 acts, 1 hr. .(25c) 
 
 East Lynne, 5 acts. 2 hrs 
 
 Elma, The Fairy Child, 1 hr. 
 45 min., operetta. ..(25c) 
 
 Enchanted Wood (The),lhr. 
 45 min., operetta (35c) 
 
 Eulalia, 1 h. 30 min (25c) 
 
 From Sumter to Appomattox, 
 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min . . (25c) 
 
 Fruits of the Wine Cup, tem- 
 perance, 3 acts, 1 hr 
 
 Handy Andy, Irish, 2 acts, 1 
 hr. 30 min 
 
 Home. 3 acts, 2 hrs 
 
 Jededian*Judkins. J. P., 4 acts, 
 2hr. 30 min C25c) 
 
 Lady of Lyor 5 acts, 2 hrs, 30 
 min 
 
 London Assurance, 5 acts, 2 
 hrs. 30 min 
 
 Lost in London, 3 acts, 1 hr. 45 
 min ; 
 
 Lonva the Pauper, 5 acts, 1 hr. 
 45 min ; 
 
 l\[ichael Erie, 2 acts.lhr. 30 m. 
 
 ]\Iitsu-Yu-Xissi. .Japanese "Wed- 
 ding. 1 hr. 15 min 
 
 jVloney, 5 acts, 3 hrs 
 
 My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 
 
 ^ot such a Fool as he Looks, 3 
 acts, 2 hrs 
 
 Odds with the Enemy, 5 acts, 2 
 hrs " 
 
 Only Daughter (An), 3 acts, 1 
 hr. 15 min 
 
 On the Brink, temperance, 2 
 acts, 2 hrs 
 
 Our Country, 3 acts. 1 hr 
 
 Ours, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min 
 
 Out in the Streets, temperance, 
 
 1 hr. 15 min 
 
 Pet of Parsons' Ranch, 5 acts, 
 
 2 hrs 
 
 Pocahontas.musical burlesque, 
 
 2 acts, 1 hr 
 
 Rivals, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 45 mui.. 
 School Ma'am (The), 4 acts, 1 
 
 hr. 45 min .■ 
 
 31. i\ 
 
 6 3 
 
 6 3 
 
 6 4 
 
 5 4 
 
 5 
 3 6 
 
 8 4 
 
 9 3 
 6 3 
 
 9 4 
 
 8 3 
 
 6 '0 
 
 9 3 
 
 4 6 
 
 5 3 
 
 7 4 
 
 12 3 
 10 3 
 G 3 
 
 6 4 
 
 9 3 
 
 10 2 
 8 4 
 
 SeaDrift, 4 acts. 2 hrs ti 2 
 
 Seth Greenback, 4 acts, 1 hr. 
 
 15 min 7 .3 
 
 Shadow Castle, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 
 
 min (25c) 5 4 
 
 Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2 
 
 hrs. 20 min , H 3 
 
 Solon Shingle, 1 hr. 30 min.. . . 7 2 
 Sparkling Cup, temperance, 5 
 
 acts, 2 hrs 12 4 
 
 Ten Niglits in a Barroom, tem- 
 perance, 5 acts, 2 hrs 11 5 
 
 Ticket of Leave Man, 4 acts, 2 
 
 hrs. 45 min 8 3 
 
 Tony, the Convict, 5 acts. 2 
 
 hi's. .'50 min (25c) 7 4 
 
 Toodles, 2 acts, 1 hr. 15 min.. (i 2 
 
 Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 214 h. (25c ) 8 3 
 Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 1 hr. 
 
 45 min 5 4 
 
 Under the Spell, 4 acts. 2 hrs. 
 
 30 min (25cj 7 3 
 
 Wedding Trip (The), 2 acts, 1 
 
 hr 3 2 
 
 Won at Last, 3 acts, 1 hr. 45 
 
 min 7 3 
 
 Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs 8 3 
 
 ., FARCES AXD SKETCHES. 
 
 A ssessor, sketch , 10 min 3 2 
 
 Babes in Wood, burlesque, 25 
 
 min 4 3 
 
 BadJob, 30min 3 2 
 
 Bardell vs. Pickwick, 25 min. . C 2 
 
 Beautiful Forever. 30 min 2 2 
 
 Blind Margaret, musical, 30 m. :i 3 
 
 Borrowing Trouble, 25 min 3 5 
 
 Breezy Call, 25 min 2 1 
 
 Bumble's Courtship, sketch, 
 
 18 min 1 1 
 
 Cabman No. 93, 4<;) min 2 2 
 
 Christmas Ship, musical, 20 m. 4 3 
 
 Circumlocution Office, 20 min. (i O 
 
 Couirtry .Justice. 15 min 8 
 
 Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 
 
 min 3 2 
 
 Cut off with a Shilling, 25 min. 2 1 
 
 Deception, 30 min 3 2 
 
 Desperate Situation. 25 min. . . 2 3 
 
 Dutchman in Ireland, 20 min. 3 
 
 Fair Encounter, sketch, 20 m. O 2 
 
 Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 
 
 Free-Knowledge-ist, 2 acts. 25 
 
 min 3 3 
 
 Friendly Move, sketch. 20 m.. 4 O 
 
 Hans Von Smash, 30 min 4 3 
 
 Hard Cider, temperance, 15 m. 4 2 
 
 Homoeopathy. Irish, 30 min.. .. 5 3 
 
 Ici on ParleFrancais, 40 m . .. 4 3 
 
 I'll Stay Awhile, 20 min 4 
 
 I'm not Mesilf at All, Irish, 25 
 
 min 3 2 
 
 Initiating a Granger, 25 min. . . 8 
 
 In the Dark, 25 min 4 2 
 
 T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 163 Randolph St., Chicago. 
 
A ROW IN THE KITCHEN 
 
 AND 
 
 A POLITICIAN'S BREAKFAST 
 
 Two Irish Monologues 
 
 BY LEVIN C. TEES, 
 
 [uthor of '^Mrs. Pepper's Ghost," ".4 Red-hot Massage," "Baby 
 Coach Parade, ' ' and other popular farces. 
 
 WITH COMPLETE STAGE BUSINESS, PROPERTY AND SCENE PLOTS SET. 
 
 CHICAGO 
 
 T. S. DENISON, PuisLisHER 
 163 Randolph St. 
 
<o .<,fc- 
 
 ^^^'^' 
 
 f\ ROW IN THE KITCHEN. 
 
 CAST OF CHARACTERS. 
 
 Biddy O'Flanigan, a belligerent domestic fresh from the Emer- 
 ald Isle. 
 
 Biddy's Missus, the Nagur Policeman, the Milkman, the Dutch 
 jay and Biddy's boss, to be heard from but not seen. 
 
 PROPERTIES. 
 
 Bundles, etc., supposed to contain Biddy's wardrobe. A shoe to be 
 thrown at Biddy from L. 2 E. Small red shawl in Biddy's pocket 
 for her to weep with. Large tin can labeled "Dynamite." Set 
 stove (made of pasteboard) ati?. of stage; chairs, tables, etc., on stage. 
 Fire pistol or cartridge off U. near stove, to make noise of explosion, 
 when the dynamite explodes. 
 
 COSTUMES, 
 
 Biddy O'Flanigan. — Quaint bonnet full of green ribbons, red 
 body; green skirt, clodhopper shoes, green hose. Face made up 
 very red. Ridiculously large bustle. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 R means right of the stage; C centre; R C right centre; L left; 
 R D right door; L B left door, etc.; 1 E first entrance; U E upper 
 entrance, etc.; B indoor in flat (back of the stage); 1 G first groove, 
 etc. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience. 
 
 A ROW IN THE KITCHEN. A POLITICIAN S BREAKFAST. 
 
 Copyright, 1894, by T. S. Denison. 
 
A ROW IN THE KITCHEN. 
 
 Scene. — Kitchen in the residence of Mr. Adolphus High- 
 stairs, m 3 G. Door C. in flat. Door i?. 2 E. Door L. 
 2 E. Window, practical^ L. U. E. Table C, stove at 
 R. 2 E. Biddy O'Flanigan appears at C. D., backing in 
 from L . , loaded down with bundles^ etc. She stops at C. D. 
 and speaks to employment agent, who is supposed to be off L. 
 
 ■ Biddy. Och, go long wid ye! There is nothing the 
 mather with the dollar. Take it back, ye say. Faith and 
 I'd like to see meself. A counterfeit? If it is a counterfeit 
 ye gave it to me. Ye did! Ye did! Ye did! Ye nasty, dirty, 
 lying old thafe of an employment agent. Och, wirra! wirra! 
 Don't talk to me. You're a chate! You're a chate! And I 
 can prove it by Biddy McGee. {Comes down C. Specialty 
 introduced. ) 
 
 A female voice outside R. 2 E. calls ^'Bridget ! Bridget !" 
 
 Biddy. Och, and who is that? {Goes to door R. 2 E.) 
 It's me new misses. {Speaks off R. 2 E.) Yis, I'm here or 
 I wouldn't be talkin' to yees. Ye want turkey for dinner? 
 Faith and ye won't get turkey. I'm going to cook a goose. 
 It's your house? I don't care if it is your house. Yees not 
 my boss. I want yees to understand that my name is 
 Bridget O'Flanigan, and that my father was one of the 
 kings of Ireland, and when I step my foot inside your dirty 
 stable of a kitchen, bedad and it's a compliment I pays yez. 
 What's that? I'm pertinent. Och, don't go breakin' yer 
 jaw wid big words. There is one thing I want yez to un- 
 derstand, woman. Yez got to take away the front steps, 
 
 3 
 
4 A ROW IN THE KITCHEN. 
 
 for I won't scrub them, and moreover, I won't work over 
 eight hours a day, and I want every afternoon off. That is 
 nice! Slam the dure in me face! Begorry, and it shows yer 
 bringing up. {Comes down to C.) A fine old plum, she is. 
 Faith and she puts on more airs than a peacock. All that 
 she is good for is to sit at the pianny and sing sentimental 
 ballads something like this. {Specialty introduced.) 
 
 Whistle heard outside window L. U. E. Biddy looks out. 
 
 Biddy. It's a nager policeman. Hello, nager! What 
 is that? Ye'll arrest me for impudence to an officer. Be- 
 gorra, and I'd like to see ye. I want yez to understand 
 that me name is Bridget O'Flanigan, that me father — What 
 is that? Yes, I live here. No, I ain't got no cold soup. 
 The other girl gave it to you? I don't care if she did, yez 
 will get nothing from me. Och, I can't tolerate policemen. 
 I draw the line at letther carriers. {Noise in room L. 2 E.) 
 Holy powers! What is that? Och, it's the other girl packing 
 up her traps to lave. {Talking out of door L. 2 E.) Yes, 
 I'm looking at yez. Sure and yez is not much to look at, 
 ye big Dutch Jay, giving cold soup to nager policemen. 
 Let's see yez slap me mouth. Come on! Come on! {Dancing 
 around in a pugilistic attitude.) I dare ye! I dare ye! Ah, 
 throw yer shoe at me. I'll throw it back. {Shoe thrown out 
 of door L. 2 E. Biddy throws it back. This is repeated sev- 
 eral times.) Serves yez right. {Laughs and comes down stage.) 
 Begorra, and I hit her in the eye. {Specialty introduced.) 
 
 Cry of " milK' outside of window R. U. E. 
 Biddy. Milk! {Gets the coal scuttle and runs to window 
 with it.) Here, mister, give me a quart. It's me old beau, 
 Tom Collins. Hello, Tom! Yes, it's me. Yes, I'm livin 
 here. Are yez coming around Sunday night. Come to the 
 back gate and I'll have lunch ready. It's all right. The 
 missus is going out and we'll have the house to oursilves. 
 
A ROW IN THE KITCHEN. 5 
 
 {In a ivartiing voice.) Take care, Tom. Kape your eye on 
 that nager policeman. Spunk up to him, Tom. Don't let 
 him hit ye! No, he won't go away! 
 
 Noise of men's angry voices and fight outside. Biddy goes 
 dancing around the room greatly excited.^ sparring as before., 
 as she watches the fight out of the window. 
 
 Biddy. That's right! Hit him again! Say, you nager, 
 don't you club Tom Collins, {Noise of patrol ivagon outside.) 
 Och, here comes the patrol wagon and they're luggin poor 
 Tom off. ( Takes a red shawl out of her pocket and weeps. ) 
 Oh! murder! murder! That it should ever come to this! 
 Well, I'll go and get dinner. {Sees can labeled '■'Dynamite." 
 "Dinymite. " {Picks can up afid examines it.") This must be 
 some new-fangled Italian soup. I'll put it on to cook. 
 {Puts can on the stove. Specialty introduced. ) 
 
 {Man's voice calls off P. 2 E.) Bridget, where is that 
 dynamite? 
 
 Biddy. Dinamite? Dinamite? Och, that's the soup. I 
 put it on to cook. 
 
 {Man's voice excitedly off R. 2 E.) Take it off! Take it 
 off! You'll blow the house up! 
 
 Biddy. Blow the house up! {Running around distracted, 
 upsetting chairs, table, etc.) Och, murder! murder! That 
 Biddy O'Flanigan should ever live to see this day! 
 
 {Mans voice off R. 2 E.) Quick! Quick! There'll be an 
 explosion. 
 
 Biddy. Explosion! What's that? {Highly excited.) Come, 
 ye spalpeen! Come and take it off yourself! 
 
 The dynamite explodes and Biddy turns a flip-flap out of window. 
 A cartridge of suitable strength may be made by rolling powder 
 in strong manila paper. 
 
 Quick Curtain. 
 
A POLITICIAN'S BREAKFAST. 
 
 CAST OF CHARACTERS. 
 
 Thaddexjs O'Halloran, a "sporty" Chicago politician who has 
 been owling all night and wants his breakfast. 
 
 Mrs. O'Halloran, Biddy the cook, the instalment collector, the 
 brass band and the Delegation who are heard but not seen. 
 
 Time in playing ten minutes. 
 
 PROPERTIES. 
 
 Table, chairs, sofa and other parlor furniture. A soup bowl to be 
 handed O'Halloran out of L. 2 E. Bricks made of paper or red 
 flannel and a cat made of flannel to be thrown in at window L. U. E. 
 
 COSTUMES. 
 
 Thaddeus O'Halloran. — Fashionable suit of a man about town or 
 a saloon keeper, mussed up, and hat battered as the effect of his all- 
 night spree. 
 
 (6) 
 
A POLITICIAN'S BREAKFAST. 
 
 Scene. — Parlor in the resilience of Thaddeus O'Halloran 
 in J G. Double door C. [open) and backed by hallway. Hat 
 rack seen in hall. Door R. 2 E. supposed to lead to Mrs. 
 O'Halloran's apartment. Door L. 2 E. supposed to lead 
 to kitchen. Bay window open L. U. E. Furniture arranged 
 around stage. At rising of curtain O'Halloran, in the dress 
 of a ''''sporty' city politician, but much disordered from his all- 
 night orgies, staggers on the stage in a semi-intoxicated condi- 
 tion C. from L. He goes skirmishing around and finally lands 
 in the easy chair and sits " moaning' a few minutes before he 
 speaks. 
 
 O'Halloran. So I've been elected Judge — not a Court 
 Judge, but a judge of the election. Me friends did it for 
 me, and I had to trate them, and I've been all night at it. 
 I'm afraid I drank too much. Och, how my head aches! I 
 wonder where Mrs. O'Halloran is — and whether she missed 
 me during the night. Faith, and I'll just ask Biddy. i^Goes 
 to door L. 2 E.) Biddy, me darlin', is ye there? Yis, lass, 
 it's me. Yis, I got back. Och, I had a jolly time. Drunk! 
 I drank a quart! Say, Biddy, did the missus miss me? 
 What did she say? Och, did she say that? Well, well, well! 
 I thought better than that of Mrs. Thaddeus O'Halloran! 
 Ha! Ha! So she was going to lock me out, was she? And 
 ye stole the key and opened the dure. Come liere, Biddy, 
 till I kiss ye. It's yer reward — it's due to yez. Och, ye 
 don't know what is good. It's your aignorance. I can't 
 bear aignorant people. [Specialtv introduced.) 
 
 (Mrs. O'Halloran's voice heard outside Ji. 2 E.) Mr. 
 O'Halloran! 
 
 O'Hal. Who's that? Och, it's the mishtress. 
 
 7 
 
8 A p(iLrnciAN's i^rkakfast. 
 
 Mrs. O'Hal. {Oidsidc.) 'J'haddeus O'Halloran, are yez 
 comin' to bed ? 
 
 O'Hal. Bed! It's breakfast! {Goes to door R. 2 E. and 
 speaks off.) And I'll get no breakfast! Why will I get no 
 breakfast ? Oh, it's that ! And so yez are the boss of the house. 
 I'll see about that! Mrs. Thaddeus O'Halloran, I command 
 yez in the name of the gre&t State of Illinois to get up and 
 get my breakfast! I know it; I know it. I had a right to 
 be out all night. It was for me country's sake. I've been 
 elected Judge! [Door bell rings in hallway off L.) Yis, I'll 
 see who's at the dure. {He goes to door C. and speaks off Z.) 
 What is it yez wants, young man ? Och, and so yez are the 
 instalment collector. And why didn't yez come early in 
 the mornin' ? Faith and I've not had me breakfast yet. I 
 pay no bills before breakfast. It's a business principle wid 
 me, lad. Phat! I never pay me bills! Look here, ye spal- 
 peen, I've been elected Judge, and if yez insult me it's six 
 months I'll give yez. {Comes down C) Faith, and I've 
 never been so insulted since the day I was born. Never pay 
 me bills, indade! How did he find that out? {Goes to door 
 L. 2 E.) Biddy! Och, darlin', and won't ye get me a 
 trifle of breakfast? Against missus' orders! And who gives 
 the orders in this house? Who pays ye yer wages, girl? Ye 
 don't get any wages? Och, Biddy darlin', ye shouldn't be 
 throwin' that up to me all the time. What is that? Yez has 
 got a little chicken soup left over from supper last night? 
 Well, that will do, Biddy. It is not much, but it will do. 
 
 A bowl of soup is passed out to him from L. 2 E. 
 Och, chicken soup to a starvin' man wid a stomach like mine. 
 Why ain't it goose soup? 
 
 Noise of band heard out of window L. U. E. O'Halloran 
 
 7-utis to window, bowl in hand. 
 Och, it's a dilegation from the politic-al club, with a fife 
 
A POLITICIAN S BREAKFAST. 9 
 
 and drum band, and all the little byes and dogs in the neigh- 
 borhood. 
 
 Voices. (Outside window L. U. E. ) Speech ! Speech ! 
 
 O'Hal. An' they want a spache, an' me without me 
 breakfast. I suppose I'll have to accommodate them, for 
 I'm a Judge. 
 
 As he speaks he stops at intervals to take a spoonful of soup. 
 
 Fellow politicians! {Spoonful of soup.) Arrah, an' it's a 
 great honor yees is paying me, Yees has elected me Judge 
 {spoonful of soup) and from the bottom of me heart I thank 
 yees for the compliment. 
 
 Cries of ''^ Hurrah!" "' Good for O'Halloran!" He pauses 
 
 in his speech and continues to feed himself with soup. 
 I've not had me breakfast yet. 
 
 Mrs. O'Hal. {Voice outside R. 2 E.) Thaddeus, are yez 
 coming? 
 
 O'Hal. {Continuing his speech.) And being out all night 
 — {tnore soup) — 
 
 Mrs.^O'Hal. {Voice off R. 2 E.) Are yez coming to 
 bed, Thaddeus O'Halloran ? 
 
 O'Hal. In the cause of me country! {More soup.) 
 
 Mrs. O'Hal. {Outside R. 2 E.) I won't spake again, 
 Thaddeus O'Halloran! 
 
 O'Hal. Byes, me wife wants me. I'll have to go in or 
 she'll raise the divil. 
 
 Derisive yells outside. A shower of bricks thrown in the windoiv, 
 followed by a stuffed cat. It strikes O'Halloran. 
 O'Hal. Who threw that cat ? 
 
 He returns the fire and begins bombarding the crowd outside as 
 curtain descends, the voice of Mrs. O'Halloran meanwhile 
 calling repeatedly, '' Thaddeus! Arc you coming?" from R. 2 E. 
 
 Quick Curtain. 
 
THAN THS 
 I^BGI'PAnilOK SBF^IBS 
 
 ALL SORTS OF GOOD THINGS. 
 
 CONTENTS OF NO. 2. PJRIOE POST-PAID, PAPBB, 25 CENTS. 
 
 Albert Drecker (Pathetic). 
 
 Better in the Morning (Pathetic). 
 
 Blue Sky Somewhere. 
 
 Wounded (Battle Poem). 
 
 Papa's Letter (Pathetic). 
 
 Grandfather's Reverie (Pathetic). 
 
 The Old Village Choir. 
 
 At the Party. 
 
 Romance at Home (Humorous). 
 
 The Legend of the Organ Builder. 
 
 I Vash So Glad 1 Vash Here (Very Hum- 
 orous). 
 
 Der Dog und der Lobster (Humorous). 
 
 What Was His Creed ? 
 
 Dedication of Gettysburg Cemetery. 
 
 Time Turns the Table (Excellent). 
 
 The Man Who Had"'t any Objection 
 (Humorous). 
 
 The Soldier's Mother (Sentimental). 
 
 " De Pervisions, Josiar " (Humorous). 
 
 A Response to Beautifu' Snow (Sentimental). 
 
 The Defense of Lucknow (Heroic). 
 
 A Model Discourse (Humorous). 
 
 My Darling's Shoes. 
 
 The Volunteer Soldiers of the Union. 
 
 Life (Compilation). 
 
 The Old-Fashioned Mother. 
 
 De 'Sperience ob de Reb'rend Quacko 
 Strong (Humorous). 
 
 A. Heart to Let. 
 
 limmy Butler and the Owl (Humorous). 
 
 Presentiments ^Pathetic), 
 eloquence cr Oratory, 
 laising the Flag at Sumter, 
 'arrhasius and the Captive, 
 .'orient. 
 
 He Wasn't Ready (Humorous). 
 
 The Old Clock in the Corner. 
 
 An Illustration (Fine Description). 
 
 The Seven Stages. 
 
 The Bells of Shandon. 
 
 Circumlocution on the House that Jack 
 
 Built (Fine). 
 The Brakeman goes to Church, (Humorous) 
 Address to Class of '771 Knox College. 
 Bay Billy, (Battle Incident). 
 The Flood and the Ark (Humorous Darky 
 
 Sermon). 
 The Steamboat Race. 
 Battle of Gettysburg. 
 A Connubial Eclogue (Humorous). 
 The Chambered Nautilus. 
 Ascent of Fu-si Yama. 
 The Musician's Tale (Splendid Sea Tale) 
 Vera Victoria. 
 Ruining the Minister's Parrot (Very 
 
 Funny). 
 The Irish Philosopher (Humorous). 
 
 TEUCPEBANCE PIECES. 
 
 Confession of a Drunkard. 
 The Fatal Glass. 
 The Gambler's Wife. 
 Dream of the Reveler. 
 The Lost Steamer. 
 One Glass More. 
 I'll Take what Father Takes. 
 • A Glass of CoU Water. 
 The Glass Railroad. 
 Signing the Pledge. 
 The War with Alcohol. 
 A Tragedy. 
 Only a Glass of Cider. 
 Traffic in Ardent Spirits. 
 Why ? 
 
 Pat's Bondsman. 
 The Modern Cain. 
 We do not Stop to Think. 
 The Fate of a Fast Young Man. 
 Lemonade. 
 
 Hurrah for the Foorth av JuljTo 
 Charybdis. 
 
 T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 
 
 163 Randolph Street, CHICAGO. 
 
HOTHffll} BETTER 
 
 THAN THE SCKAP-BOOK 
 EECITATIOH SERIES. 
 
 A bouquet of choice thoughts to tickle the fancy. 
 
 CONTENTS OF No. 4. 
 
 A Tribute to Grant, (Eloquent). 
 
 The Joshua of 1776, Fine (Description). 
 
 The Latest Barbara Frietchie, (Comic). 
 
 " Leadville Jim." 
 
 Jerry, (Pathetic.) 
 
 The Wee, "Wee Bairnie, (Pathetic). 
 
 The Mutilated Currency Question, (Hum- 
 orous.) 
 
 Memory, (Poem.) 
 
 How a Song Saved a Soul. 
 
 A Decoration Day Address. 
 
 Mr. Hoffenstein''s Bugle, (Very Funny.) 
 
 What the Robin Can Tell. 
 
 Mary's Night Ride, (Vivid Description ) 
 
 Mr. Hopwell's Theory of Suppressing a 
 Fire, (Humorous.) 
 
 A Model Summer Hotel, (Humorous.) 
 
 Pat and the Oysters, ( Humorous. ) 
 
 Family Government, (Apt Illustration.) 
 
 The Heroes and the Flowers, (Beautiful 
 Description.) 
 
 Expecting to Get Even. 
 
 Driving a Hen, (Humorous.) 
 
 A Retrospective. 
 
 Where are Wicked Folks Buried ? 
 
 Romance of a Hat, (Humorous.) 
 
 Forever, (Sentimental. ) 
 
 Courtship Fair and Square. 
 
 Every Year, (Didactic.) 
 
 Temperance Song Recital. 
 
 Strangely Related. 
 
 Kit, or Faithful Unto Death, (Pathetic.) 
 
 Sam's Letter, (Very Funny.) 
 
 Kindness. 
 
 A Tribute to Longfellow. 
 
 Civil War, (Tragic.) 
 
 Petah, (Comic.) 
 
 Drinking a Tear. 
 
 The Married Man and The Bachelor. 
 
 The V— A— S-E. 
 
 Price 25 Cents. 
 
 The Battle of Mission Ridge, (Stirring 
 
 Description.) 
 Heroic Medley. 
 A Christmas Carmen. 
 The Girl in Gray. 
 An Easter-Tide Deliverance. 
 Fading. 
 Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man, (Hum 
 
 orous.) 
 Fritz and His Betsy Fall Out, (Humorous. 
 Help Me Across, Papa, (Pathetic.) 
 Mr. Diffident's Speech. 
 Scene from Leah the Forsaken, (Dramatic! 
 A Railroad Car Scene. 
 Death of Little Hackett, (Pathetic.) 
 Farmer Stebbins' Appearance on Roller.« 
 An Untimely Call. 
 He Guessed He'd Fight, (Comic.) 
 Only Five Minutes to Live. 
 Calling the Angels In. 
 Caliber Fifty-four. 
 j\tother"s Doughnuts. 
 
 The Prospects of The Republic; Oration 
 Intensely Utter, (Humorous.) 
 Napoleon Bonaparte. 
 Autumn Thoughts, (Humorous.) 
 A Christmas Song. 
 The Froward Duster. 
 The Convict's Soliloquy the Night beforl 
 
 Execution. 
 Aunt Sylvia's First Geography Lesson, 
 
 (Humorous.) 
 I Am Dying, Egypt, Dying, (Fine Poeaa.j 
 Burdette's Adivce to a Young Man. 
 Drinking a Farm. 
 Bill Mason's Ride. 
 Queen Vashti's Lament. 
 Lady Macbeth — Sleep-Walking Scene, 
 
 Tragic. 
 Women and Their Ways. 
 
 T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 
 
 163 Randolph St., CHICAGO. 
 
TifAN THE SCHaP-POOK 
 
 RECITATION SERIES. 
 
 ]3^v^ Pi- rv^- ^cdf=>e:f=?- 
 
 NliGGEJnS Pr^OM fPHB MINES OP IMi^GINATION. 
 
 CONTENTS OF No. 5. - PRICE 25 CENTS, POST-PAID. 
 
 A Nameless Hero (Heroic Poem). 
 
 Mark Twain's Mining Story. 
 
 A Culprit (Humorous Poem). 
 
 The Friar's Christmas. 
 
 For the Chief's Daughter (Tragic PoeraK 
 
 Burdock's Music Bo,\ (Very Funny). 
 
 Eulogy on O'Connell. 
 
 Agnes, 1 Love Thee. 
 
 Neighbors (Specimen of Gossip). 
 
 Jerusalem by Moonlight. 
 
 Purpose. 
 
 The Chariot Race (Fine Description). 
 
 Birth of the Rainbow (Poem) 
 
 Tom's Little Star .Capital Short Poem). 
 
 Unwritten Poems. 
 
 Emancipation of Man (Burlesque). 
 
 Christine. 
 
 How I Tended the Baby (Comic). 
 
 Battle of the Cowpens (Heroic Poem). 
 
 Nebuchadnezzar. 
 
 Universal Education. 
 
 Temperance Lesson — Just Twenty-one. 
 
 Pat's Reason (Comic). 
 
 Defence of Hofer (Patriotic). 
 
 Thet Boy of Ourn (Dialect Poem). 
 
 Hannibal's Address. 
 
 She Referred Him to Her Pa. 
 
 Patriotism. 
 
 Winnie's Welcome (Irish Poem). 
 
 Speech of Patrick Henry (Patriotic Oration). 
 
 My First Pantaloons. 
 
 Peaceable Secession (Oration). 
 
 Pharisee and Sadducee. 
 
 A Soldier Tramp. 
 
 Domestic Economy (Humorous). 
 
 The Flying Dutchman. 
 
 Une Robe Angelique. 
 
 A Frontier Bridal — Almost a Tragedy 
 
 ( Fine Poem). 
 The Origin of Scandal. 
 Tlie Unknown .Speaker (Prize Oration). 
 Decoration Day Poem — "Alemorial Day." 
 Little Charlie's Big Story. 
 The Donkey's Dream 'Humorous). 
 Startling Revelations (Very Funny). 
 "There is a Spiritual Body.'" 
 Praying for Papa. 
 Minding the Hens (Hum.oroucV 
 Der Shpider und Der Fly. 
 One Thing He Forgot. 
 Curly-Head. 
 Jimmie's Prayer. 
 He Gave Him a Start. 
 Shall America Betray Herself? 
 Kiss Deferred, The (Fine Pathe-.'w Poem.) 
 If I Were a Boy Again. 
 The Rustle of a Wing. 
 Light over the Range (Miner's Di»''~'t*- 
 Grady's Great Speech, "The New SoutJ*." 
 The Oak and the Vine (Humorous.). 
 Cassandra Brown. 
 Empty Ne.st, The. 
 Aux Italiens (a Poem). 
 The Blind Preacher. 
 Lorraine. 
 
 The Curtain Fixture (Humorous) 
 The Telegram. 
 
 She Would be a Mason (Humorous). 
 A Mysterious Duel. 
 The Last Hymn, a Story of Shipwreck. 
 Waiting for the Bugle. 
 The Codfish. 
 
 T. S. DENISON. Publisher, 
 
 163 Randolph Street, CHICAGO. 
 
DENI50N'S ACTING PLAYS. 
 
 Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given. 
 
 FARCES AND SKKTCIIES. 
 
 In the Wrong House, 20 min. . . 
 
 Irish Linen Peddler, 40 miu. .. 
 
 Is the Editor in? 20 min 
 
 ,Iohn Smith, 30 min 
 
 Just My Luck, 20 min 
 
 Kansas Immigrants. ;2(i min... 
 
 Kiss in the Dnrlc. 30 min 
 
 Larliins' Love Letters. 50 min. 
 
 Limericlc Boy, 30 min 
 
 Love and Rain, slveteh, 20 m , . 
 
 Luclcy Sixpence, 30 min 
 
 Lucy's Old Jlan, slj;etch, 15 m. 
 
 Mike Donovan, 15 min 
 
 Misses Beers, 25 min 
 
 Mistake in Identity, sketch, 15 
 min 
 
 Model of a Wife, 25 min 
 
 Movement Cure, 15 min 
 
 Mrs. Gamp's Tea, sketch, 15 m. 
 
 ^ly Jeremiah. 20 min 
 
 My Lord in Livery, 45 min 
 
 ]S[y Neighbor's Wife, 45 min. . . 
 
 My Turn Next, 50 min 
 
 Narrow Escape, sketch, 15 m. . 
 
 Not at Home, 15 min 
 
 On Guard, 25 min 
 
 Peisecuted Dutchman, 35 miu. 
 
 Pets of Society, 30 min 
 
 Played and Lost, sketch, 15 m. 
 
 Pull Back, 20 min 
 
 Quiet Family. 45 min 
 
 Realm of Time, musical al- 
 legory. 30 min 
 
 Regular Fix, 50 min 
 
 Rough Diamond, 40 min 
 
 Row in Kitchen and Politician's 
 Breakfast, 2 monoiogues. . . 
 
 Silent Woman, 25 min 
 
 Slasher and Crasher, 1 h.l5 m. 
 
 Squeers' School, sketch, 18 m.. 
 
 Taming a Tiger, 20 min 
 
 That Rascal Pat. 35 min 
 
 Too Much of a Good Thing, 50 
 min 
 
 Turn Him Out. 50 min 
 
 Twenty Minutes Under Um- 
 brella, sketch, 20 min 
 
 Two bonnycaKtles.45 min. ... 
 
 Two Gay Deceivers. 25 min . . . . 
 
 Two Gents in a Fix, 20 min. . . 
 
 Two Ghosts in White, 25 min. 
 
 Two Puddif oots, 40 min 
 
 Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min . 
 
 "Very Pleasant Evening, .30 m. . 
 
 Wanted a ("orrespondent, 1 hr. 
 
 Which Will He Manv'i' 30 m. . 
 
 White Caps (The), niusical, 30 
 min 
 
 Who Told The Lie? .30 min . . . 
 
 Wide Enough for Two, 50 min. 
 
 AVomen of Lowenburg, histori- 
 cal sketch. 5 scenes, 50 m . . 
 
 Woman Hater (The), 30 min. . 
 
 Ji. i\ 
 
 4 2 
 
 .3 .3 
 
 4 2 
 
 4 2 
 
 6 3 
 
 7 
 
 3 2 
 
 
 
 4 4 
 
 8 15 
 
 6 4 
 
 4 3 
 
 1 1 
 
 2 1 
 
 r> 2 
 
 4 2 
 
 3 
 3 2 
 
 3 fi 
 
 3 3 
 
 8 
 
 3 .'5 
 
 3 2 
 
 3 
 
 4 4 
 
 10 10 
 2 1 
 
 Wonderful IjCtler, 2oijnn. 
 Wooing Under l)iffic^lltie^ 
 
 Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 
 
 ICTIIIOI'IAN FARCES. 
 
 Academy of Stars. 15 rain 
 
 All Expenses: Or. Nobody's 
 
 Son, 10 min ! . . 
 
 Baby Coach Parade, 20 min. . 
 Back from Californy; Or, Old 
 
 Clothes, 12 min ." 
 
 Deaf, In a Horn, 12 min 
 
 Hamlet the Dainty, 15 min 
 
 Handy Andy, 12 min 
 
 Haunted House, 8 min 
 
 ■loke on Squinim (Tlie). 25 m.. 
 
 Jumbo Jum, .30 min 
 
 Mischievous Nigger (The), 20 
 
 min ". .' 
 
 No Cure, No Pay. 10 miu 
 
 Othello and Desdemona, 12 m. 
 Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 
 
 min 
 
 Quarrelsome Servants, 8 min. . 
 
 Rooms to Let, 15 min 
 
 Sham Doctor (The), 15 min... 
 
 Sports on a Lark, 8 min 
 
 Stage Struck Darky, 10 min . . . 
 Stocks Up, Stocks Down, 8m.. 
 
 Tricks, 10 min 
 
 Two Pompeys (Tlie), 8 min. . . . 
 
 Uncle Jeff, 25 min 
 
 Unhappy Pair (An), 10 min. . . 
 Villikens and His Dinah. 20 m. 
 Wax Works at Play, 30 min. . . 
 William Tell, 15 min 
 
 M, 
 
 p. 
 
 4 
 
 1 
 
 4 
 
 3 
 .3 
 
 i^ 
 
 The publisher believes that ho can 
 say truthfully that Denison's list of 
 plays is on the whole the best se- 
 lected and most successful in the 
 market. JVeir Phtija will be added 
 from ti]iio to lime. 
 
 Manuscripff, not only of plays but 
 of any books similar to those in Den- 
 ison's catalogue, will receive careful 
 attention and if accepted will be 
 paid for at current prices. 
 
 V 
 
 T. S. DENISON, Publisher, I63 Randolph St., Chicago. 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 Any Piay on this List S5 Cts. Postpaid 
 
 Plays by T. S. DENISON. 
 
 That the plays written by T. S. Deni- 
 son are, all things considered, the best 
 for amateurs, is attested by their very 
 large and increasing sale. 
 
 ODDS WITH THE ENEMY. 
 
 A drama in five acts; 7 male and 4 
 female characters. Time, 2 hours. 
 
 SETH GREENBACK. 
 
 A drama in 4 acts; 7 male and 3 fe- 
 male. Time, i h., 15 m. 
 
 INITIATING A GRANGES. 
 
 A ludicrous farce; 8 male. Time, 25 m. 
 WANTED, A CORRESPONDENT. 
 
 A farce in 2 acts; 4 male, 4 female. 
 Time, 45 m. 
 
 A FAMILY STRIKE. 
 Afarce,3 male, 3 female. Time, 20 m. 
 
 TWO GHOSTS IN WHITE. 
 A humorous farce, boarding school 
 life; S feirlale characters. Time, 25 m. 
 
 THE ASSESSOR. 
 
 A humorous sketch; 3 male and 2 fe- 
 male. Time, 10 m. 
 
 BORROWING TROUBIiE. 
 
 A ludicrous farce; 3 male an* 5 fe • 
 male. Time, 20 m. 
 
 COUNTRY JUSTICE. 
 Amusing country lawsuit ; S male 
 characters. (May admit 11.) Time, 15 m. 
 THE PUIili-BACK. 
 A laughable farce; 6 female. Time, 
 20 m. 
 
 HANS VON SMASH. 
 A roaring farce in a prologue and one 
 act; 4 male and 3 female. Time, 30 m. 
 
 OUR COUNTRY. 
 
 A patriotic drama. Requires 10 nialei 
 5 female. (Admits 11 m. 15 f.) Four fine 
 tablcau.x. Time about i hour. 
 
 THE SCHOOIiMA'AM. 
 
 A brilliant comedy in 4 acts; 6 male, S 
 female. Time i hour, 45 m. 
 
 THE IRISH LINEN PEDDLER. 
 
 A lively farce; 3 male, 3 female. Time 
 40 m. 
 
 THE KANSAS IMMIGRANTS. 
 
 A roaring farce: 5 male, i female. 
 Time, 20 m. 
 
 TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. 
 
 A capital farce ; 3 male, 6 female. 
 Time, 4j m. 
 
 017 401 349 4 « 
 
 IS THE EDITOR IN? 
 
 A farce; 4 male and 2 female; 20 m. 
 AN ONLY DAUGHTER 
 
 A drama in 3 acts; 5 male and 2 fe 
 male. Time, i hour, 15 m. 
 
 PETS OP SOCIETY. 
 
 A farce; 7 female. Time, 25 m. 
 HARD CIDER. 
 
 A very amusing temperance sketch ; 4 
 male, 2 female. Time, 10 m. 
 
 LOUVA, THE PAUPER. 
 
 A drama in 5 acts; 9 male and .( fe- 
 male characters. Time, i hour, 45 m. 
 
 UNDER THE LAURELS. 
 
 A drama in five acts; a stirring play, 
 fully equal to Louv'a the Pauper. Five 
 male, 4 female. Time, i hour, 45 m. 
 
 THE SPARKLING CUP. 
 
 A temperance drama in five acts; I^ 
 male and 4 female. Time 2 h. 
 
 THE DANGER SIGNAL. 
 
 A drama; 7 male, 4 female. Time, 2 h. 
 W^IDE ENOUGH FOR TWO. 
 
 A farce; 5 male, 2 female. Time, 45 m. 
 
 BOOKS FOR ENTERTAINMENTS. 
 
 WORK AND PLAY. 
 
 For little folks. Exercises in letters, 
 numbers, objects, geography, animals, 
 motion-songs, dialogues, charades, etc., 
 etc., postpaid, 50c. 
 
 PRANKS AND PASTIMES. 
 
 For home, school or church. Nearly 
 100 games, charades, scenes, etc., 50c. 
 
 Negro Minstrel Book, 25c. 
 
 Social Games at Cards, 25c. 
 
 Private Theatricals, how to get up, 
 25c. 
 
 WHEN LESSONS ARE OVER. 
 
 Dialogues, Plays, Nuts to Crack, 25c. 
 ENCHANTED WOOD. 
 
 Bright, New Opera. Price, 35c. 
 
 Dialect Readings, humorous, 25c. 
 
 THE FRIDAY DIALOGUES. 
 
 Short, lively. Boys and Girls. Price 25c. 
 
 FRIDAY AFTERNOON SPEAKER. 
 
 For little folks, for older boys and girls, 
 short, pithy dialogues. Price 25c. 
 
 Dialogues from Dickens, 25c. 
 
 Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, Tab- 
 leaux, etc., etc., 25c. 
 
 Choice Pieces for Little People, 25c. 
 
 School and Parlor Tableaux, 25c. 
 
 Debater's Handbook, cloth, 50c. 
 
 Everybody's Letter Writer, 30c. 
 
 Good Manners, paper cover, 30c. 
 
 T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 163 Randolph Street, CHICAGO.