PS 3523 .08713 B7 »j 1913 tCopy fr BUBBIE" ft If BEING -RHYMES f ^ ft H K M f APROUD -PARENT it X^vi/^ , }n.^^^.y^r>^^^'^t'^^■>^^^^^ if BUBBIE BEING -RHYMES BY « « A « A- PROUD -PARENT ^» PRIVATELY- PRINTED •••CHICAGO MCMXIII A ij ii X ^33523 \9\3 COPYRIGHT, 1912 COPYRIGHT, 1913 F. M. LOWE, CHICAGO THE RALPH FLETCHER SEYMOUR COMPANY CHICAGO /.vi^ Cl,A3GiSi3 B U B B I E BEING RHYMES BY A PROUD PARENT CONTENTS Dad's Excuse 9 Much Obliged 10 Early Observations 11 Pop's Eloquence 13 Sleep 15 Oh, You Lunch! . . . . . . .16 Early Training 17 Ouch! Or the First Tooth ... 19 New Mitts 20 Splash! Or the Bath 21 Beef-Juice 22 Bed-Time 23 Bird of a Bird 24 First Word 25 Ears 26 Nocturne 27 Chums 28 Why and When.? 29 Early English 30 Sand . 31 Feet-Steps 32 FOREWARNING The first half of the following rhymes was presented in printed form to a few friends in December, 1912. They were taken bodily from Bubbie's record book or kid log and portray with some degree of accuracy events, adventures and crises of the first year of his career. And now another eventful year has passed and been duly entered i^i the log. This record con- stitutes the last half of the present volume. F. M. L. B U B B I E BEING RHYMES BY A PROUD PARENT I BUBBIE DAD'S EXCUSE SHOULD have written you before, But all my plans seem bound to balk; I've thought of you, so don't get sore — I'm busy talking baby-talk. You want to know about the boy: He makes his daddy walk the chalk; He sure's the source of lots of joy — He's got us talking baby-talk. His mamma's feeling mighty fine; She wheels him up and down the walk To give her son a chance to shine — She's always talking baby-talk. His grandpa and his grandmammas His many charms do loudly hawk; They're proud as they can be because They too are talking baby-talk. His uncles both when he arrived. It gave them such an awful shock — The bashful batches. They survived To join in talking baby-talk. Our friends and neighbors everyone — But hark! I think I hear a squawk! Correct! Good-bye, I've got to run When he himself talks baby-talk! BUBBIE MUCH OBLIGED MY BOY'S requested me to state, As plain as one so young is able, The eating irons you sent are great; And that they are is sure no fable. As yet — this is in confidence — He's hardly ready to commence To wield his feeding tools at table. The silver spoon's his special joy. He seems to think it most delicious. To him it means more than a toy; He must regard it quite nutritious. He always grabs it greedily And with his two teeth speedily Attacks it, oh, so vicious! The fork is fated for the shelf 'Till he's arrived at some discretion; Just now he might harpoon himself. And that would be a sad digression. Accept our best beatitude For these, and know our gratitude Is full beyond expression. 10 I BUBBIE EARLY OBSERVATIONS 'VE lately come from slumberland, Just landed in this wonderland, And say, it's hard to understand. I hope it's not injurious. But really I'm so curious It makes me simply furious. For instance now, I can't make out What this dark silence is about — I guess I'll just let out a shout. Ah, that's the way to wake them up. Make dad get up and take me up. And jiggle, bounce and shake me up. He holds me right-side up with care. And handles me like something rare In fragile glass or China-ware. This bouncing brings a dizziness The very height of bliss. I guess My holler did the business. While I've a lot to learn of course Of this world's ways, it might be worse: Of heaps of joy I am the source ; 11 BUBBIE Besides my papa's pompous pride; Admirers worship at my side; Soft mother arms my blushes hide; I do not have to work or play, But lie around and loaf all day And sleep and yawn and grow away; I've got a good meal ticket, too. Should roses such as these bestrew Your path, you'd holler — wouldn't you ? 12 s BUBBIE POP'S ELOQUENCE INCE you decline to close your eyes Regardless of your daddy's sighs, Your daddy has a thing or two He feels he ought to say to you. He doubts if you'll appreciate, But thinks 'tis due to you to state. Since you arrived to rule the roost Things are not as they used to used. Your daddy used to take some pride In seeming somewhat dignified; But who could hold their dignity While they held you upon their knee? They say 'tis so and we surmise Your little lungs need exercise But do you think it wise or right To exercise so much at night ? You have a most amazing taste. Refined amusements simply waste. With you to really make a hit A fellow's got to throw a fit. And even that may prove a frost: To make you smile at any cost Your grandpa cut such funny jinks, And all you did was blink some blinks. 13 BUBBIE When mamma's friends come to your bed And say, "How cute!" and kiss your head, Why don't you smile and favor us Instead of kicking up a fuss? You raise a rumpus when you weep — Your daddy's talked you fast asleep, That surely is no compliment. But since you are, he too's content. 14 T BUBBIE SLEEP HOMAS EDISON'S a wonder; Always full of new ideas. Still I feel impelled to ponder Bubbie's 'bout as bright as he is. Thomas Edison's asserting Sleep's a wasteful occupation — Bubbie's needed no converting To that startling observation. Thomas Edison's persuaded But the briefest nap is ample; Bubbie's got that fairly faded; Daddy hardly gets a sample. Thomas also puts to practice, Proving his conclusions proper. Bubble — sad but true the fact is — Practices upon his popper. Thomas Edison's a wonder; Sleepless nights with ease he weathers. Still I would not steal his thunder — Simply lead me to the feathers. IS BUBBIE OH, YOU LUNCH! I LIKE my little rubber rings; I like the songs my uncle sings; I'm fond of such a lot of things — But oh, you lunch! I think my rattle is all right For it affords me such delight. I'd like to play with it all night — But oh, you lunch! My bath is lots of fun for me ; I kick and splash and squeal with glee; I'm most as happy as can be — But oh, you lunch! I have two fascinating feet. My tender toes are such a treat — But when it comes to things to eat: Oh ! you lunch. 16 BUBBIE EARLY TRAINING FROM seven until nine o'clock You made your popper sing and rock, And not a snooze could he induce So he decided, what's the use; 'Twas time, he said, despite your shouts To put you through a course of sprouts. He took your little squirming hunk And popped you in your bunk kerplunk; And, though you raised an awful roar. He gloomed the glim and shut the door. Your mummie sided with your pop To let you cry it out and stop. To cry it out they found you fit. But when it came to stopping, nit. You whooped it up with all your might As though you'd keep it up all night. They closed the windows not to shock Their friends and neighbors in the block; And settled down to read and sew And let you hoe alone your row; But soon you put their nerves to proof The way you fairly raised the roof. In fact you made so much of it They couldn't read and sew a bit — And after all you were so young — Perhaps you might unhinge a lung — 17 BUBBIE No doubt you really had a pain — That something troubled you was plain — Then panic struck they fairly flew To see what they could do for you. They snatched you up to soothe your brow, But all they got from you was "Wow!" You surely felt abused for fair; Your indignation pierced the air; You scorned their offerings of peace — It seemed as though you'd never cease. When you had fully had your say It wasn't quite the break of day. Pop's not so keen as he was once About these early training stunts. 18 BUBBIE OUCH! OR THE FIRST TOOTH NO WONDER you seemed bound to gnaw On each and everything you saw. They said, who know the ways of youth, "Your boy's begun to cut a tooth." But how could that so much annoy? It was the tooth that cut my boy. And now I know that this was true For yesterday it cut you through. No wonder you would chew your toes And try to masticate your clothes; Most any feller thusly hurt Would feel inspired to eat his shirt. 19 BUBBIE NEW MITTS I'VE got some new mitts, And they just give me fits — The gink who devised them's a rummy. They're built Hke a bag, So I've nothing to wag As there's no place at all for my thummie. 20 BUBBIE SPLASH! OR THE BATH THE water gurgles in the tub When I go in to have a bath, As though it said, "Good morning Bub"; And every time it makes me laugh. Of all the happy sounds I note That gladsome gurgle gets my goat. The water is so soft and warm ; It always seems to welcome me; And anchored to my mamma's arm I'm not afraid to put to sea. The water splashes with delight And I splash back with all my might. And when again I'm safe ashore; And rubbed and rubbed until I'm dry; And when I'm powdered aft and fore I hear the water laugh "Good-bye." "Good-bye" it gurgled as it ran; I gurgled back "Good-bye old man!" 21 BUBBIE w BEEF-JUICE HEN mamma buttons on my bib It makes me glad in every rib, For then I know that purty soon I'll get some beef-juice in a spoon. She brings it in a little cup, And when I see her I sit up And open up my face some wide, Because the beef-juice goes inside. So bully does the beef-juice taste I feel it justifies my haste. What if it smears me up a bit — I'd like to dive and roll in it. And when my brief debauch is o'er I throw the spoon down on the floor, And crow and cuckoo like the deuce To show I'm strong for good beef-juice. 22 w BUBBIE BED-TIME HEN darkness comes and all is still 'Tis then the blinky lights are lit; And though I'm yawning fit to kill I would not go to bed a bit. Fm willing to be wiggled free Of clothes and tickled on my tummy; And have my nighty hung on me — But being put in bed is rummy. My night-cap meal I'm glad to greet Because I'm famished 'til I'm fed; But when I've finished, though replete, I do not wanta be in bed. I'm left alone without a light — Take it from me, there's trouble brewing. I'll not submit to such a plight— I wanta be where something's doing. They seem to think the sleeping's fine When everything is dark and quiet. Perhaps it is, but as for mine, That's just the time to raise a riot. 23 BUBBIE A BIRD OF A BIRD ONCE when I sat where I could see The sparrows playing in a tree, A little sparrow cocked his head And looked right in at me and said, ''My stars! You're such a tiny tottle I think it's time you had your bottle." As I agreed with what I heard I thought that birdie was a bird. 24 I BUBBIE FIRST WORD T CANNOT be you haven't heard That Bub's connected with a word ? You knew of course that he could screech- But now he knows a word of speech. His first attempts at it were wrong; And then he said it all day long. Though on his tongue he loves to weigh it, It doesn't take him long to say it. The word.^ 'Tis that that pleases me: The word is "dog" without the "g." His popper thinks he's some precocious Because he says it so ferocious. At first he had us wondering; His name was dog for everything. At last his brain advanced a cog And now he knows that dog is dog. 25 BUBBIE A EARS MATTER of no small concern Without a doubt Is this, so easy to discern: My ears stick out. My mummie looks at me and sighs In pensive mood. I'm wise. For this her sighs arise: My ears protrude. Pop says they're bully hearing ears, That when he's nappin' I'm always hearing things, he swears, That never happen. My ears may mar the scenery some— But why the flurry — And put my beauty on the bum — But I should worry. 26 A BUBBIE NOCTURNE T THREE A. M. I feel possessed To seek repose on popper's chest; And, wailing clear in his left ear, I kick him where he wears his vest. He buzzes at me like a bee — A bee about to light on me — I'll lose a lung but not be stung As long as I can wiggle free. And then pop wrestles me around And sings so loud my song is drowned; And when I pause to learn the cause I suddenly am sleeping sound. What magic thus skidoos the gloom. Supplanting peace for fret and fume .? Ah, what indeed except the need Of perching on my pop's buzzoom. 27 BUBBIE M CHUMS E AND "Sonny" likes to sit Side by side upon a rug, With a cracker in each mit, Each a crumb bemussed mug. Sonny eats with proper pause; Mine I gobble down a whizzin'. This arrangement suits me 'cause When mine's gone I just take his'n. 28 BUBBIE WHY AND WHEN? Why do you do the things tabooed Instead of doing what you should ? You have your bell and button-hook, Your rubber dog, a spoon, a book, Your dolls, your rattles and your rings, Beside a lot of other things, And more reserved upon the shelf With which you might amuse yourself, Enough in fact if you'd begin it To keep you going every minute; And yet you find more entertainment In chewing pieces of your raiment. You much prefer to claw your hair Or gnaw the varnish off your chair. And then there's nothing you like better Than picking fuzz off uncle's sweater. Unless — this makes your mamma wilt — It's biting yarn knots off your quilt. She only has to hear you cough To know another knot is off. When will you do the things you should Instead of just the things tabooed. 29 BUBBIE EARLY ENGLISH TICK TOCK," "bow do!'', " Bow-wow," " mew-yew," "Doodle doo," "au-to," "Dingdong," "no no," "Ticks," "tones," "moon-a," "Bye, bye," "spoon-a," "Tiggle tiggle," "I know," "Dog," "ball," "bing!""oh!", "Quack, quack," "book," "shoe," "Oof, oof," "peek-boo," "Baba," "moo-moo," "Here 'tis," "oo-hoo!"; Many more you command Which you best understand. 30 ¥ BUBBIE SAND HEN I first sat in the sand The sensation was so bUssful That I laughed to best the band — Then I tried to eat a fistful. Eating sand is no great treat. This conclusion I found fitting: Maybe sand's not made to eat — Thought I'd never finish spitting. 31 DEC 8 1313 BUBBIE T FEET-STEPS IME was when you supposed your feet Were good for nothing but to eat, And then the thought began to dawn, They might be good to walk upon. So hanging onto daddy's hand You took a most unsteady stand, And, heaving forth two hearty grunts. You stepped with both your feet at once. Before you'd fully caught the hang The floor had biffed you many a bang — But every feller once begins Upon a wobbly set of pins. It really seemed ere you'd begun To learn to walk you'd learned to run; And now no music's quite so sweet As just the patter of those feet. 32 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS itiiiiiiiiiiitilillillllllllliillllllilllilillllllliillllU 015 926 408 7 ^