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 QUID MIRROR. 
 
 THE FIRST PART. 
 
 -jfcVr n/^c7- es/; /n^Tzc iu Bomane caveto. 
 Theae men ere banc; do you Democrats beivarc of them. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 
 PRINTKD AND UEI'L'BLISHED (wiTH AN EXPLANATOHY NOTE) 
 BY GEORGE HELMBOLD, JUNIOR, NO. 72>, N- EIGHTH STREET. 
 
 1806. 
 
 
 ^'<nv..x 
 
A'' 
 
 THE republislier deems ft a duty he owes to himself, as well as to those gentlemen, 
 libelled in the following pages, to declare to the public, the motives that impel him to 
 undertake the republication of a work of such a nature. Several days previous to the late 
 election, a few copies were, eitlier thrown unpercelved into the doors, or sent, through 
 the medium of the post office, to characters of a peculiar cast. They were read with avi- 
 dity, and extolled at certain places. Men of different sentiments scarcely could obtain 
 a view of tliis hydra of politics. In order, therefore, to gratify the curiosity of the public, 
 as well as to shew dispassionate men of all parties, to what base, and assassin-like means 
 a few daring, factious, and turbulent characters will descend, and, at the same time, 
 compel calumny to defeat its own views, the republisher has ventured to usher this mis- 
 shapen offspring of a poisoned pen to the public. The characters it attempts to asperse, 
 are all known, and many are tried revolutionary patriots. Their worth and patriotism 
 will not only repel the calumny, " but turn the weapon back upon the foe." 
 
 When party spirit shall cease, or politics flow into arR)ther channel, or certain rene- 
 gado incendiaries who have lighted the torch and now fan the flames of discord among 
 us, shall either be frowned, by public indignation, into their original obscurity, or be com- 
 pelled to seek their bread and gratify their insatiable thirst for immolating the fairest re- 
 putations, in other climes, then may we look on this infamous production, and ask our- 
 selves, by what magic, what sublety or political mania, we were so far led from the path 
 of rectitude, that many among us should be so degenerate as to admire the lYroduction 
 of such a wretch, or set of wretches, as the writer or writers (for we believe tliat more 
 than one was concerned) of the " Ci>iid Mirror" must be. Even they are conscious of 
 their own wickedness, depravity, and rascality; for they not only industriously conceal 
 tliemsclves, but even circulate tiie iniquitous production of their venality, in a manner 
 that plainly indicates there is no truth in the adage of "honor amongst thieves." Tlie 
 republisher wishes some friend of the constitution to take up the subject, and write a 
 " Jacobin or Duanite Mirror." He tenders Iiimself to any one wiio will undertake tlie 
 task, as the publisher of such a production. The field is open, the subjects lunneroiis, 
 and rich in anecdote. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 f SOME reasons may be required for the Quid Mirror ; and lest men of dis- 
 passionate minds and honorable sentiments might be led to imagine, that un- 
 worthy motives dictated the exhibition, the true ones will be assigned. 
 
 Dallas, in his vapouring letter to Mr. Lawler, the late Mayor, said, that 
 his ^'- libellous associates " (meaning the Friends of the People) were '■^wiifiout 
 narne, cliaracter, feeling or firoperty" and Dallas is the high-priest of the rem- 
 nant of the quid sect. Now, to show that he mistook the character of the de- 
 mocratic party for his own, his copartners in profligacy, and his associates in 
 treachery are exhibited. No mirror ever reflected more correct likenesses ; 
 and they will and must be acknowledged to be genuine, by every unprejudiced 
 man, who knows the original. 
 
 The democi-atic party have been charged by this brotherhood, with being 
 office-hunt CIS and dictators ; to show, therefore, ivlio the oflice-hunters are, and 
 ivho would be the dictators, the Mirror is off'ered to the public. It must now 
 be apparent, that the rage for office made quids, and that Dallas and Co. aimed 
 at establishing a monopoly. In the first instance, the democratic party was to 
 be the ladder of ambition for quids to mount upon, and when this convenience 
 was refused, the federalists were courted to become their horse-block. 
 
 The charge of dictation is peculiarly applicable to this sect; for they are an 
 acknowledged minority^ a mere handfid^ and yet they wished to give the law, 
 not only to the democratic party, but eventually to their newly adopted brethren 
 the federalists. Both have spurned the vulgar lordlings, and have left them to 
 lord it over themselves. 
 
 It may be asked. Why the Mirror has not reflected more likenesses? The 
 answer is a plain and an obvious one. All who have acted with the quids are 
 not quids, and the mistaken man is not to be classed with the base. He who 
 is truly a quid, and there are few indeed, merits the finger of scorn, and it will 
 be pointed at them by all parties. Me is the scum which fermentation has 
 thrown upon the surface, and like it will be thrown into the common sewer. 
 Many who have acted with the quids may be said to have sound stamina, and 
 therefore, are entitled to a different regimen. They may be safely and justly 
 incorporated with the democratic body. Not so with the titularies of the grand 
 digidtaries of the (jtdd empire. The line of demarcation between them and the 
 democratic purty is drawn for ever; and as well might the traitor Arnold ex- 
 pect to be welcomed by the country he betrayed, as that they should be received 
 as a component part of the democratic party. The Viper which the countryman 
 received into his bosom was not more fatal to him, than they would be to the 
 democratic cause. The moment democrats compromise with treachery and 
 baseness, that moment ends their pretensions to principle, and that moment is 
 the cement destroyed which biftds them together. They ought to say with 
 Virgil '■'•timco Danaos et do7ia fercntcf:" — we fear the quids even when they 
 make presents. 
 
 There remains a few, whose conduct and destitution of principle may deserve 
 notice. They are the smaller fry of the shoal, and ought not to be mingled 
 Avith the sharks. Occasion may lead the philosopher to an examination of ca- 
 terjdllars^ but it must be only after the hyxna and the tygcr have undergone an 
 analysis — For the present, the Jack Skugf.ants, and the Chandler Prices, 
 and the Mannv Evres, and the Allick Mookes, and the Neddy Foxs, and 
 the Charles Swifts, and the Feddy Foerings, and the Elisha Gordons, 
 will be laid upon the shelf; and when Tom Thumd, or Goody-Two-Shoes 
 M'oukl ulibrd aiijuseinent, then they may be taken down. 
 
THE 
 
 QUID MIRROR, &c. 
 
 THOMAS M'KEAN. 
 
 THIS man is an evidence of one of Fortune's frolics. Without even a com- 
 mon-place acquaintance with subjects, out of the immediate sphere of the pro- 
 fession of the hiw ; vi'ithout any mental quahty above mediocrity, excepting 
 that of mere memory; without any moral endowment to distinguish him from 
 the common herd of mortals; and without any of those small but sweet cour- 
 tesies of life which endear man to man, he has alternately been advanced to 
 the most important stations in our government. His origin was obscure, and 
 his if.itiittory study of morals and law, was coupled with the duties of an hostler, at 
 New Castle. '1 he American revolution gave him an opportuity to thrust his 
 head from beneath the veil. He became a whig, as he has since been a de- 
 mocrat, from interest; as it opened the fairest path to preferment. — His mi- 
 litary glory rose and d-scended with a regimental military command. Few tyrants 
 are brave; and in him are blended the extremes of tyranny and cowardice. He 
 marched at tlie head of a regiment to Perth- Amboy, and looked at the enemy 
 on Staten-lsland with a spy-glass. His domineering spirit began soon to show 
 itself, and in a short linre he beca.ne the scorn and execration of the regiment, 
 and they withdrew from his command, and left the coward to be bullied by his 
 own tempestuous passions. 
 
 After the constitution of Pennsylvania, which was the offspring of the venerable 
 and illustrious Franklin, went into operation, he declared his abhorrence of it 
 in such en>phatic terms, that he said he would not accept an office under it; 
 and yet, nhtn tiie office of Chief Justice was offered him, he seized it with avidity, 
 and swore to the support of that frame of government, which had previously 
 received his severest denunciation. His ferocity in this character has no pa- 
 rallel but in that of Jeffries. His passions and prejudices, whenever they could 
 be enlisted, always occupied the judgment-seat. On the trial of Carlisle and 
 Roberts his conduct exhibited the executioner rather than the judge; and such 
 was his bloody cast of character, that he declared he would sooner hang them 
 himself, than they should escape the gibbet. 
 
 So devoid was he of delicacy, so destitute of even the common forms of jus- 
 tice, that he presided on the bench when he himself was the prosecutor in the 
 cause. 
 
 General Thompson, who was captured at the escalade of Quebec was basely 
 treated by him, for which the General made free with his nose; and when he 
 afterwards met him in the street and M'Kean had the wall of hirn, the General 
 sternly used this language to him, " ijnu scoundrel take the gutter" and to 
 ■which his honour yielded submissive obedience. 
 
 Against the freedom of the press he has ever manifested the congenial ha- 
 tred and fear of tyrants. Ihe independence of Col. Oswald as a man, and a 
 printer, became the object of his persecution and his vengeance. In this case, 
 he, as ciiief justice, introduced the nefarious com.mon law doctrine of contevifit, 
 which has been made a precedent ever since, and vrhich remains a disgrace 
 unredressed by the legislature. Colonel Oswald was incarcerated, because he 
 dared to speak and publish tjuth, and the revenge of the Chief Justice was to 
 be satisfied. 
 
So tyrannical was he, as the Chief Justice, so arrogant and insolent was his 
 deportnicnt, that Jaked Ingersoll drew up and had signed by many of the 
 bar, an application for his removal fron) office. He was the terror and abhor- 
 rence cf the bar, jurors, and suitors: and many declared they would vote for 
 him as governor to get rid of him from the bench. 
 
 To show the excess of his vanity and superciliousness, let the following anec- 
 dotes suffice. As Chief Justice he was one of the Trustees of the University of 
 Pennsylvania. The students had engaged to perform a play. A crouded and 
 respectable auditory attended. Just as the exhibition was about to commence, 
 a considerable buzz was heard in the gallery. Dr. Evving, the provost, ap- 
 peared on the stage, and announced, that the play would begin as soon as there 
 was si] -nee. The buzz continued: on which M'Kean rose from his seat, ad- 
 vanced to the front of the stage, clapped his arms a-kimbo, and said, " / as 
 ChieJ Justice of Pennsylvania, command silence!'' He was hissed off the stage. 
 The Provost requested silence, and there was silence. 
 
 On some occasion, a very respectable French gentleman, Mons. B , 
 
 suddenly appeared in his presence, and began to converse with him with his 
 hat on. M'i\ean suddenly interrupted him, by saying, " /oA-e" off your hat, Sir; 
 do you know who I am?'' No, replied Mons. B. Sir, said he, stamping his foot, 
 *^ I a/n the Chief Justice of Pennsylvania." O! said Mons. B. taking off his hat, 
 •' then 1 take off my hat to your commission." 
 
 At a dinner of the Cincinnati, at Eppele's tavern, in Race-street, he com- 
 manded one of the servants to stand behind his chair. The waiter was called 
 to another quarter. M'Kean vociferated, and the waiter returned to his station. 
 " Sirrah, said he, how dare you disobey me; do you knonv who I am? I am Tho- 
 mas M'Kean, Doctor of Laws, Vice-President of the Society of Cincinnati, and 
 Chief Justice of Pennsylvania; so do not stir from behind my chair without my orders." 
 
 Iji the Convention for the formation of the present Constitution of Pennsyl- 
 vania, a proposition was made to prevent the union of federal and state offices 
 in the same persons. To this M'Kean objected, and urged the following ar- 
 gument — I was Governor of the State nf Delaware, I was President of Congress , 
 I was a Alember of Congress, and I was Chief Justice of Pennsylvania, and all at 
 the same time, and who can say that there was any imfiro/iricty in it, or that any in- 
 jury resulted frojn it?" 
 
 As a member of the Convention he took a decided part with the aristocracy 
 of the state- He united in all projects for the abridgment of the rights of the 
 people. He was a strenuous advocate for a compound ratio of population and 
 wealth in the organization of the Senate; and although he was incapable of 
 eloquence or argument in support of any project, his vole always spoke against 
 the people. 
 
 In Convention he was sometimes placed in the chair, wlien the Convention 
 resolved itself into a conmiittee of the whole, and at a late sitting, when he 
 presided, candles were brought in, without his orders. He directed that they 
 siiould be withdrawn, for that it was unparliamentary to introduce candles with- 
 out his oixler, or the resolution of the committtee. For some moments the 
 committee were left in darkness and confusion, owing to his excessive vanity 
 and folly. 
 
 He was elevated to his present situation by a small majority. — To oppose 
 him was a crime, and after his election he reviled his opponents in the most 
 contumelious language. Many of the prominent Republicans had no conudence 
 in his principles. They knew the unbounded vanity of his nature, and that he 
 would become the creature of any party which would descend to flattery of hira. 
 Tiiey determined to compromil him by an address, and he seized the bait with 
 more voracity than a shark, and thus was he prevented from an inuuediate de- 
 sertion to the ranks of his opponents. 
 
6 
 
 His gubernatorial career was coinmenced like an egotist, it has progreased 
 in egotism, and will and must end in contempt. One of his first acts was the 
 appointment of his son Joe, a creature despised by all parties, and without any 
 merit on the score of service or talents. Mr. Georgk Campbell, a revolu- 
 tionary whii^, and a man inoffensive in his life and deportment, was removed 
 in his advanced life from the office of Register, that the first-born booby of 
 M'Kean might be pi'ovided for. 
 
 His son-in-law Buchannan, of Baltimore, the present Lazaretto Physician, 
 Good Lord! was destined by him to be Secretary of the Conimonwealth, al- 
 though he was not a citizen of this state, and the constitution requires citizen- 
 ship and residence as a qualification for office ; and he was only prevented 
 from this outrage, by the qualms of his son-in-law and the Governor General 
 Dallas. 
 
 Thomas M'Kean Thompson, his nephew, was translated from the state of 
 Delaware to occupy this important office; and actually became the incumbent, 
 before he was euliilcd to elect or be elected a conslablc. Thus was a pettifog- 
 ging lawyer, without a single endowment to recommend him to the station, 
 and without the constiiuiional qiialificalion, thrust into an office, designed as a 
 check upon the execuUve niagislrate. 
 
 Since his accession to the executive chair, he has considered the Common- 
 wealth as liis jjrivate estate, and every whelp and every cub of his own, or of 
 tliose any w ay affiliaUd to hmn, has been provided for out of the public purse. Even 
 that hilly iKtit-inaitre, his son i oin, by a fiction, is made to receive four hun- 
 dred dollars annually out of the public ti-easury. 
 
 None but bis relatives, flatterers, and sycophants, with few exceptions indeed, 
 have been entrusted by him with office, and by means of office, he has assail- 
 ed and undermined the integrity of the Legislature. 
 
 The powers which arc delegated to the Governor by the Constitution, to 
 guard him fiom legislative encroachment, he has exercised in the most wan*- 
 lon and aibiirary manner, in disregard of the will of the people, or of the in- 
 terests of the state. Since his adnnnistration he has rejected more Bills than 
 all the Presidenis and all the (Governors of the United States or of the states 
 put together; nay, than all the monarchs of Great Britain added to them. 
 
 In his intercourse with the men^.bers of the General Assembly, he has not 
 preserved the common forms of decorum, and his expressions of them partook 
 more of the education of an hostler than of the gentleman. Indeed he seems to 
 have studied the Billingsgate vocabulary, and may be said to have rivalled it in 
 vulgarity. — The powe\s of a Nero are alone wanting to make him as finished 
 a monster, and to transmit his name to posterity as one of the curses of the 
 human race. 
 
 A man designed by nature and education to be the first minister of an in- 
 qui.->ition, could not attract the confidence, or merit the respect of freemen — 
 by such, therefore, was his re-election opposed. Fortuitous circumstances 
 again made him Governor; and well may it be said, that he is an evidence of 
 Fortune's frolics, when even those who supported him, felt the utmost detes- 
 tation for his principles and character. It may indeed be averred, without a 
 hyperbole, that not more tl-.an a fraction of the voters for him fell even a com- 
 mon respect, and tliat the Constitution was the Trojan horse which conveyed 
 him into Troy. 
 
 Since his re-election, his naturally tempestuous soul has been a constant tor- 
 nado, which is striving to overwhelm in ruin every man who dared to act as 
 becomes a freeman. 
 
 That venerable and meritorious patriot. General Shee, was among the 
 first victims of his vengeance and egotism. He brandished the sword of de- 
 strnclioa at the head ot every man that he fancied it could reach, and thurst it 
 into the bowels of such as were vi ilhin his allonge. He did not fiddle, like Ne- 
 
ro, ^vhen Rome was in flames; but he quaffed to Bacchus, and squu'ted 
 his tobacco juice with the exlacy of a demon, at the mischief and distress he 
 had caused. 
 
 Dickson, the Editor of the Lancaster Intelli;^eucer, was incarcerated by him 
 for promulgating his corruption, when no doubt of the facts haviiig- been pro- 
 mulgated by Wertz, the Senator existed in the mind of any honest man. 
 Wertz had made no secret of the attempts made to seduce him; but Wertz 
 was a Senator, and he held the casting vote of the Senate. It was impolitic to 
 prosecute /ihtiy for he might have told talen ; and he might iiave interrupted 
 gubernatorial projects. Dickson had offended the majesty of M'Kean, by op- 
 posing his election. The honesty and independence of the Editor required 
 chastisement, a convenient tribunal was not wanting, and a fine oi Jive hun- 
 dred dollars^ and three vionths iin/nioninent was inihcled upon him for publish- 
 in gy?/c;.s/ 
 
 During the administration of the late Governor Mifflin, M'Kean reprobated 
 the many appointments to the office of Justice of the Peace. He said, that it 
 was an important station, which ought to be filled only by men of the first cha- 
 racter and intelligence; and that he would reduce rather than increase the ex- 
 isting number. Since his accession to the office, they have multiplied like Po- 
 lypi; every corner of the state has been crammed with them: and the question 
 with him has not been as to character and fitness, but as to the subserviency 
 of the candidate to his will and his views. This law maniac has made such a 
 departure from his own maxims, as to commission, as Ju!^lices of the Peace, 
 men who can scarcely Avrile their own names, and who cannot spell even a mo- 
 nosyllable. 
 
 This is an epitome of the character of Thomas M'Kean. If it should ap* 
 pear deformed to the beholder, the fault must not be attributed to the mirror, 
 but to the man. It is a true likeness, and will be recognized as such, by uni- 
 versal consent, in two years more, when he shall be about to exclaim, " Adieu 
 la voiture, adieu la boutique;" and to say with Cardinal Wolsey, '■'■ had I but 
 served my God.^ as I have served the Devil, he would not, thus have deserted me hi 
 my olda^e." 
 
 ALEXANDER JAMES DALLAS. 
 
 THIS is a patriot imported into our country from his Britannic majesty's 
 colony of Jamaica. Too obscure and contemptible to attract the notice of the 
 king's servants, he threw himself upon our shores, without name, character, 
 fortune, or recommendation. His debut here was the green-room, his com- 
 panions the comedians, and his support was derived from their bounty. He 
 wrote verses for them, and they gave him bread. He aided them behind the 
 scenes, and was a machine in their hands. Bradford, the bookseller, patro- 
 nized him, and but for his countenance, Dallas must have been content wifh 
 the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table. Often have the neighbours 
 called in his half famished children from the street, to feed them, when their 
 parents were gossipping with players, or attending their commands. As an 
 attorney he did not earn the salt in his porridge, and yet poverty-stricken as 
 he was, such was his vanity and ostentation, that he entertained parties at his 
 house, when he could not pay his rent. He courted and flattered every man 
 that could relieve him. M'Kean was then Chief Justice, and he offered the 
 rankest incense to him, in a dedication of the first volume of his Re}X>rts. No- 
 thing was ever too gross for the palate of Mr, Chief Jubtice: lliis Dallas knew, 
 and he flattered him wil^hout laerc.y. It had its effect, and the ,sycnphan' \\m 
 since profited by it.- 
 
Various were his ways to attract the attention of the public. Me wished to 
 sipcnalize himself as a man of courage, and to have a rencontre with a man of 
 celebrity, who he knew was in principle opposed to duelling. A challenge 
 was sent, because be knew it would not be accepted ; and as arrant a coward 
 as was ever cast in nature's mould, strutted the hero and gasconaded like Bo- 
 badil. 
 
 The late Governor Mifflin was the object of his most unremitted and sedu- 
 lous attentions. During the first canvass for Governor under the presnt con- 
 stitution, he went from tavern to tavern to harangue in favour of General Mif- 
 flin, that he might be fed and honoured by his patronage. The hypocrite suc- 
 ceeded, foisted himself into his confidence, and in the end, basely betrayed and 
 deserted him. Governor Mifflin raised him from the kennel, and, to the great 
 and universal dissatisfaction of the State, created this adventurer Secretary of 
 the Commonwealth. After his elevation he became a furious democrat, was 
 the founder of the Democratic Society, and eventually betrayed and deserted 
 this Society, as he had done his early friends. The western insurrection, as 
 Fauchet truly remarked, found him " balancing to decide on his J tarty" and af- 
 terwards '■'■ giving liimiii'lf ufi ivith a scandalous ostentation^ to the views, and even 
 secondiJig the declarauons of yilexajidcr Hamilton.*' 
 
 As he omitted no opportunity to profit by occurrences, and to make the most 
 of them, he eagerly seized the post of Paymaster General to the Pennsylvania 
 forces. He foUoAved the army to Pittsburgh, and revolved as a satellite around 
 Hamilton, as often as he was permitted; and yet even his servility did not 
 shelter him from the insults of M'Pherson's Blues. Not content with the pay 
 and rations of a Paymaster-General, he cliarged a commission upon his dis- 
 bursements, and put upwards of six thousand dollars into his pocket; and it 
 was f(jr this unprecedented act, which even Lord Melville would have blush- 
 ed at, that George Logan pronounced him to be "«« unprincijded foreigner, 
 who wished to stvindle the United States out of this sum." 
 
 When Jay's famous, or rather infamous British treaty was made known to 
 the people of this country, he seized the glad moment to reinstate himself with 
 the Democratic party, and wrote the Features of that treaty. An universal 
 dissatisfaction had shewn itself against that instrument, and he proudly and 
 vainly boasted of his essay ; but when, in the language of the late President 
 Washington, "a counter current" was likely to succeed the first flow of indig- 
 nation, he requested not to be known as the author — and was ready to disown 
 the baurtling that he had previously caressed with over-weening fondness. 
 
 Towards the close of Mifllin's administration, like the Koman triumvir, he 
 thouglit it better to worship the rising than the setting sun. He turned his 
 back upon his patron, his bentfactor, and his friend. His official duties com- 
 pelled him to occasional visits ; but his heart w as a stranger to gratitude ; and 
 although he livtd in the same neighbourhood, weeks often elapsed, without ex- 
 hibiting the courtly figure of the Secretary to the persecuted and declining- 
 Governor. If one drop of the milk of human kindness had flowed in his veins, 
 his patron must have excited his attention and melted him into tenderness; but 
 the sensibilities of the human heart were not to be found in him, whose circle 
 of feeling extended not beyond his own mansion. The sighs and heart-achej^^ 
 produced by ingratitude and treachery must be registered in heaven's chan- 
 cery; and the wretch who could be guilty of such foul sins will be recjuited 
 either here or hereafter. 
 
 After having slumbered over a reign of terror, a courtier to Dayton, Tracy, 
 and others of the same stamp, he awakened to become the champion of Tho- 
 mas M'Kean. He was never known to appear in public, but for the purposes , 
 oi self and on this occasion sf//"animated him to exertion. He held the pen of 
 the Republican Corresponding Committee, and fulminated in words against 
 federalists and federalism. At this time the shades of diftjsi'ence b'.tween him 
 
and the federalists were glowin?^ and distinct as the colours of the rainbow; 
 although, iii a late rosary, which he stninsi; fur his quid biethci., but sl,;,ht 
 shades of difference were said to distinQ,ui3h them from each other. M Kea!* 
 was elected, and he was consltluied his oracle and his speech -maker. He 
 taup;ht M'Keaii to believe, that he had made hrni Covernor, and the dotard 
 surrendered himself entirely into his hands. The offices of the .^tate were to 
 be the joint tenancy of the Secretary and the lioveriior; and the insatiable 
 maw of the Secretary was to be ciamined with the offices of Secretai-y of the 
 Conmionwealth, Recorder of the City, and Commissioner of Bankrupts at the 
 same time. 
 
 When tile proposition to repeal the midniajht judiciary was before ConpTess, 
 Dallas was the prime mover of an opposition to iu in ihis city, cirew the me- 
 morial against it, and in conjunction with Jok M'Kean. forwarded it to Con- 
 gress in a letter to James Ross, then a Senator. In a few months after^vards, 
 tliis same A. J. Dallas became a member of the Republican Commitiee of 
 Correspondence to prouiole the re-election of M'Kean, and in an address 
 "ivhich be penned, the repeal of the judiciary system had his unqualified appro- 
 bation I It was on this occasion, that Mr. Ingersoll declared, that be would 
 never again put his hand to a paper to which Dallas's name was subscribed, 
 or in whic!) he had any concern. 
 
 The intimacy between hi.n, Burr, and Dayton, is a fact of public notorie- 
 ty; and from his defence of Bukk, after his attempt to supplant Mr. Jeffer- 
 son in the Presidency, the infereiice is uiiavoidable, that he had an agency i;i 
 his intrigue. Indeed his conduct at Lancaster, and since that period, leaves 
 little room to doubt his preference for Burk. There are points of contact in 
 their characters, which naturally draw them together. Willi both all means 
 are rightful to the altainment of their end, and virtues are assumed by tnein 
 which they have not. Hypocritical and treacherous, they Halter and betray, 
 as tiifcir objects can be best answered ; and, perhaps, in this only can iney be 
 said to differ, Bukr is brave, and Dallas is a coward. 
 
 As long as it was practicable he clung to liie oihce of Secretary of the Com- 
 monwealth, and when he abandoned all hope of a return of the legislature to 
 this city, and not till then, ditl he resign it. A mere cormorant in his ajjpe- 
 tites, lie cawed a death-like note when he was necessitated to resign the o.iices 
 of Secretary and Recorder. 
 
 During the last canvas for Governor be organized the Constitutional Society, 
 manufactured their conbtituiion and addresses, as well as their officers, and 
 wiiat is hot the least remarkable, he proposed George Logan as the President 
 — that very man, who he knew had designated liim as "a« un/irinci/iled foreign- 
 fr, ivho wished to swindle the United Stales out of several thjusand dullurs." On 
 tliis occasion, and during this memorable conlroversyr he courted and flattered 
 the Federal party; and in the teeth of former declatations, averred, that but 
 slight shades of uifference distinguished him and thcni. Despised as he and M'K.eai* 
 were by them, they nevertheless contributed their aid, and by means of it, and 
 it alone, was M'Kean re-elected. 
 
 At a subsecpient special election for a Senator, he convened his little band at 
 the the Court-house, where, being oui-numbered by those, whose shades of 
 political difference before, had been, by him, scarcely discernible, he was 
 compelled to decamp, amid the taunts and shouts of Fedai elists, who disdain- 
 ed such a leader. 
 
 This is but a sketch of the character and adventurers of A. J. Dallas. Kc« 
 publicans, '' look liere upon this Jdcturcy'. the man, '• tiie counterfeit ^iresent- 
 menl" of a patriot. 
 
 " A fine elegant rascal, that can rise 
 And sloop aluiost together, like an arrow 
 bi.oi Uuoujjli the air as nimble as a star: 
 
10 
 
 Turn short as doth a swallow, and be here, 
 And there, and here, and yonder, all at oncej 
 Present to any humour, all occasion, 
 And change a visor swifter tWan a thought. 
 This is the creature had the art born with him, 
 Toils not to learn it, but doth practise it 
 Out of most excellent nature, and such sparks 
 Are the true parasites, others but Zanies." 
 
 WILLIAM BACHE. 
 
 THIS is the unnatural son of an illustrious grandsire, unlike him in any 
 thing but his resemblance to man. He was educated a physician, and com- 
 menced practice in this city. Idle and debauched, profligate and treacherous, 
 the meridian of Philadelphia was not adapted to his cast ; and after having 
 3f|uandered away a portion of his wife's fortune and immersed himself in debt, 
 he was compelled to take a French leave, and retire to Virginia. An Argus- 
 eyed creditor arrested him on the eve of his departure, from whom he escaped 
 by finding bail, and leaving him in the lurch. His pursuits in Virginia were 
 in consonance with his character. By nature a buffoon, he exhibited himself 
 as such at a public theatre in Kichmond, by dancing on a hot stove to the no 
 small astonishment and amusement of the spectators. A voluptuary of the 
 most grovelling species, he kept a seraglio of sable concubines, and in their 
 polluted embraces neglected a respectable wife, and an offspring that even a 
 brute would have caressed. Here too his evtravagancies outstripped his reve- 
 nue, and again he became engulphed in debt. An appointment, more friend- 
 ly than humane or wise, translated him to New Orleans, where he figured for 
 a time as a surgeon of the hospital, and very expeditiously squandered away 
 the appropriations for that establishment. Under such auspices the institution 
 soon languished, and he found himself obliged to abandon it. Again he sought 
 Virginia as an asylum. The almost beggared grandson of the venerable Frank- 
 lin was then promoted by presidential y^f/w^, to the place of surveyor of the 
 port of Philadelphia. He left an honorable and respectable friend in Virginia 
 as sponsor for his debts, who has since been obliged to pay them, and hied to 
 this city to realise his golden prospects. Without the shadow of pretension 
 on the score of merit or service, he nestled himself in an honorable and lucra- 
 tive oCTice, such as was due only to the man of probity, industry and principle. 
 The demon of mischief the arbiter of his fate and director of his actions, did 
 not permit him to become acquainted with the alphabet of his office, before he 
 prompted him to scatter confusion and disorder afnong the democratic party. 
 Not a citizen of the state, he commenced a Billingsgate warfare upon its citi- 
 zens, and with an effrontery that could only be looked for in a dancer upon a 
 hot stove, attempted to control the will of the people. An obedient though 
 clumsy tool of Dallas, he was employed to perform his menial and dirty ser- 
 vice. Witliout talents for rational and sober argument, either in debate or in 
 essay, he ex':ibited himself in the foremost rank of quid babblers and scrib- 
 blers. By buffoonery and Billingsgate eloquence he strove to create confu- 
 sion among the ward committees ; but here, as in all his other projects, dis- 
 appointment v/as his portion. Even his own vote was rejected at the poll, and 
 he strove to cover his disgraceful retreat by a horse laugh and puerile witti- 
 cisms. 
 
 No man could have indulged in greater freedoms with the character, the 
 measiM'es, the vanities, the follies, the tyrannies and the egotisms of M'Kean 
 than Bache. M*'Kean was the incessant theme of his vulgar wit and forecastle 
 animadversion; and yet he afterwards became the ardent champion of M'Kean, 
 and entered heartily into the federal co-partnership in hisbehalf. Hq was the 
 
11 
 
 actual editor of the quid journal, that conriTnon-sewer for all the filth of a po'- 
 luttd and corrupt faction. Such was the profligacy of this jcurnal, under kis 
 auspices that it eclipsed Porcupine, and even Pert duChene, and well merited 
 the motto of the French editor," diable7ne72t f atriodcjuc;" and yet tlie nominal 
 editor was a saint, attended private meetinrs for purposes of Ciiristian devotion, 
 and even made long prayers himself; so true it is, as was remarked by Si)ak- 
 speare, that " the Devil himself can cite scripture for his puposes." 
 
 His incapacity for the office of surveyor has become as proverbial as bis 
 immoralities. Instead of attending his du ies, he may be found at ahiiobt uny 
 hour of the day in an obscure tippling house, playing at cards or backguinn.on 
 with any blackguard who will associate with him, swilling grog and utteiirig 
 blasphemies. His midnight orgies are in stews, from whence he reels home 
 as regularly as he gets drunk ; and gets drunk as regularly as he can get liquor. 
 
 Returning home from a turtle-feast at the Falls, filled to the brim Avith 
 good old stingo, he assaulted the coachman, knocked him off" his box, beat him 
 almost to death, and drove the carriage off to town in triumph I'he coach- 
 man obtamed a warrant against him, and the surveyor of the port Philadel- 
 phia found it necessary to fnirchafie a fieace. 
 
 This. man's life has been a tissue of the grossest immoralities. Hjs parents 
 could not conceal the heart-aches he occasioned tiiem, nor the horrorV-is con- 
 duct inspired; nor could he refrain, such is the inveterate depravity of liisna- 
 ture, from uttering the foulest imprecations against the authors of his exist- 
 ence. An atheist in belief, hereafter has no terrors for him. The principles 
 of mora?ity he considers as cobweb ties, too weak to entangle or to hold hjvn. 
 By grimace and monkey tricks he strives to put honour, honesty and truth out 
 of countenance ; in a word, he is one of those monsters, that are restrained from 
 Ihe worst of depredations on society only by the dread of a cell or the fear of 
 » gibbet. 
 
 DAVID "jACKSON. 
 
 INSECTS will flutter in a summer's sun, and when they become trouble- 
 some by their buzz, then only do they merit the fly-brush. This is an insect 
 with the disposition, but without the capacity to sting. He buzzes like a great 
 horse-fly, tothe annoyance of some good men. As an officerof M'Kean's 
 creating, and being mischievous to the utmost extern, of nis little means, he 
 merits to be reflected in the Mirror. 
 
 He is the half-begotten son of a respectable sire, in whom nature mistook 
 her gender. Puny in mind as well as body, he was dandled on his parejits' 
 knees until he fancied himself a man by taking a wife. 'I'he prattiing of the 
 baby was tolerated, because he displayed an earnestness and zeal in tne dcuui- 
 cratic cause. He gossipped through the town retailing news, and wr. uld scjUt.t 
 himself upon one post and another, whenever he could arrest the attentlo;! of 
 any one to his babbling. He had learned by some means or other that njjigion 
 was a good mask to cover moral turpitude, and he put it on. By means of an 
 exterior of sanctity he could slander his neighbour with more effect; and by 
 an attention to the outward forms of religious worship he could practise upon 
 the credulity of the world. In a degree he has been successful. I-^ying and 
 slandering are an abomination in the sight of heaven; and yet this little hypo- 
 crite, this apology for a man, expects to merit heaven by tiiem. While his eyes 
 are rolling towards the other world, his heart is intent upon the good things 
 of this; and his mortifications of the flesh consist in practising the advice of a 
 Quaker to his son, " get money,, get it honesihj if you can, but by all nieann gii 
 money." 
 
 Being of the sfimnel breed,, he could not but be acceptable to the governor, 
 And he was appointed a member of the board of health. One of Peak's stuiled 
 
apes would have been as well qualified. To shew his ineekti'esa and disinte- 
 restedness, be it known, ti.at he desired to be secretary and treasurer of the 
 boird of health at the same time ! ! 
 
 Lamentable nideed is our situation, when the health, the property and the 
 lives of the peoi>le are committed to such Lilliputian hands. An apology is 
 due to the reader for introducing to his notice an apology only for a man. 
 
 S\MI'EL~CAUVER. 
 
 PUBLIC character alone entitles this man to notice, and to a place in 
 the Mirror. He is in stature, in mind, in principle, and in morals, a dwarf. 
 With the dispositions of a wasp, he seems intent only upon his sting. His 
 family and his relatives can bear a melancholy testimony to the crookedness 
 of bis nature. Too idle, or rather too lazy to support his family by industry, 
 Lis mind nas been unceasingly intent to become a pensioner upon tiie public. 
 His liollo>v professions for a while imposed upon the people, and he became 
 a county commissioner, and then a member of the t^eneral assembly. To the 
 last station he was advanced by the Federal party, of whom he said, that to be 
 a Federalist was alone sufficient to oust any man from public employ ;— he 
 has long been at auction, and is at last struck off to the highest bidder. 
 
 JOSEPH B. M'KEAN. 
 
 THIS is the heir apparent, the hopeful first-born of Thomas M'Kean, 
 and the astonishing attorney general of Pennsylvania. He is indeed a lawyer, 
 anl of that class too, so accurately characterised by the appellation o^ a. fietti- 
 Jo'^gfr. No one but his father, an ideot or a madman, could ever have con- 
 ceived the idea of his fitness for such a station. His qualifications are to be 
 found in arrogance, vanity, superciliousness, and wise looks ; his merits are 
 registered in the records of Federalism. He was one of John Adams's volun- 
 teer captains of dragoons in the reign of terror. As a commander and a sol- 
 dier he signalized himself in the hot water expedition, by terrifying women 
 and children, and living at free quarters. His courage, his patriotism and his 
 regard for law, made a brilliant display in the memorable attack which he 
 made, at the head of a bancUtti, upon the editor of the Aurora. For this act, 
 cliaracteristic only of an assassin, his honour was appealed to, and he shuffled 
 u itil he procured the arrest of Duane. Perhaps this may have been an act of 
 grace; for " guilt begun, must fly to guilt consummate to be saved," and a sti- 
 letto m'.;>ht have suited the hand of a coward better than a pistol. 
 
 i'his student of morala was rewarded by his disinterested father, first with 
 the nflice of register, next with that of attorney general, and then with the 
 proffer of the chief justiceship of Pennsylvania, As yet Ave have not learned 
 whether he nas nominated him his successor. 
 
 He was one of the combination with Dallas to prevent the repeal of the mid- 
 night judiciary system, and like him, is one of the partizans of Burr. 
 
 In the memorable tri d of the impeachment of the jtidges, he appeared as a 
 witness, to the no small amusement of the auditors. So confus.dand incapa- 
 ble was he, that Dallas was obliged to declare what the attorney general meant 
 to sav, and thus to extort his assent to the words put into his mouth by the- 
 "couns! 1 of the judges. A blush overspread the countenance of every feeHng 
 spectator, on seeing the degradation of Pennsylvania in the person of her Boe- 
 otian attorney general. 
 
 Joe is trulv a chip of the old block. A tyrant in disposilion, lie requires 
 only oppoi'tiinity to become a tyrant in practice. Insolent and self-conceited 
 as his father, he exacts homage from the dependants on office, by impressing 
 t!i( 171 wit a belief that he is the governor in fact, and that the father is nothing 
 more man his puppet. As a lawyer, he is scarcely versed in the common- 
 
j^lacc jargon of the bar; as a scholar, he has not passed beyond the horn-booli 
 of science ; as a politician, he has yet to learn his alphabet; as a gentleman, he 
 has not yet obtained a matriculation ; and as a republican, neither nature nor edu- 
 cation ever gave him any pretensions to it. His parts arebctte:' adapted to be 
 stirrup-holder to the grand signior, than the attorney general of a free and en- 
 lightened commonwealth. He's 
 
 " the scum 
 That rises utmost when the nation boiis." 
 
 GEORGE LOGAN. 
 
 THIS is a creature truly sui generis. By inheritance and by marriage he 
 became possessed of a large fortune, and to his fortune may be ascri jed what- 
 ever consideration he may possess in society. M'Kean once said of bim that 
 he was " a learned fool." Indeed, if by learning were understood tlie mere al- 
 fectation of it, he might be called learned; but he has no more pretensions to 
 learning than he has to common sense, or than the governor has to truth or 
 modesty. 
 
 During the American revolution he was a tort. After the peace, in the 
 contest between the democracy and aristocracv of the state, he iniisted himself 
 on the side of the opponents to the constitution of Dr. Franklin. By them he 
 was placed in the legislature for thecounty of Philadelphia. In this character 
 he rendered himself so ridiculous, that he was nick-named " blundering Lo- 
 gan," and " Marplot," and his friends found it expedient to permit him to stay 
 at home and raise colts. Offended at this treatment, he changed sides, and 
 the French revolution found him a violent partizan of the rights of man. He 
 learned todance the Carmagnole, and hoisted the tri-coloured cockade in the hats 
 of his children : Nay. so far did his folly lead him, that he proposed that the 
 democrats should wear short coats, to distinguish them from the Federal 
 party. 
 
 When the proposition was first made to turnpike the Germantown road, he 
 rode through all the country to alarm the fears and the prejudices of the far- 
 mers against it. His falsehoods and misrepresentations had their effect, and 
 this useful scheme was retarded for years thiough his machinations; but when 
 he at length found he w^s likely to be overpowered, he suddenly changed sides 
 vociferated in favour of turnpike roads, and arrogated to himself the merit of 
 success. 
 
 The western insurrection found him, mirabile dictul a captain of dragoons ; 
 but when he was called to the field, his nerves wanted tone, and he suddenly 
 resigned. To cover his cowardice, he advocated the insurgents, by way of 
 reason for abdicating a comrnand that he was so earnest to obtain. 
 
 His conduct always exhibited something of lunacy, and to this may be as- 
 cribed his trip to France. His visions taught him to believe that he could ad- 
 just the misunderstanding between the two nations. The reveries of Don 
 Quixote,'or his knight Sancho Pancha, hadnot more of the absurd and ridiculous 
 in them. That a man without talents, either for speaking or writing, witlioul 
 even the manners or address of valet dechambre, should suppose himself coin- 
 petent, without any public function, to settle great national questions, is not 
 more extraordinary, than Sancho Pancha's calculations and arrangements for 
 the government of Barataria. France.was governed by her own interests, and 
 those interests were represented to her by some of her enlightened citizens, 
 who had visited this country, and had returned to their homes about that pe- 
 riod. Can it for a moment be believed, that an unauthorized individual, who 
 can scarcely stutter a sentence of common sense, and who is incapable of com- 
 pHDsing a single essay, can it believed that such a man could have influenced 
 the government of France to a change of measures .' Crcdat Judaus Jjiella ! 
 
14 
 
 The extravagancies of the Federalists alone gave currency to the supposition. 
 Their persecutions of this Boeotian produced a reaction ecjuul to their extrava- 
 gance ; and in this way, and in this way only can his elevalJon to the senate of 
 the United States be accounted for. 
 
 As the utmost extent of his genius goes not beyond catching grasshoppers 
 or raising colts, it may be readily imagined, that Pennsylvania derives little 
 service from such a representative. Tiie fact is lanienlubly true. He is oc- 
 casionully5made use to introduce some jigumbob proposition, ready cut ancory 
 to his hands, such as a national acLidemy, kc. but subjects of a national import 
 are beyond his comprehension and support. 
 
 As opposition is his element, he figured among the foremost in exciting dis- 
 contents and divisions among the democrats of. this district. He was deeply ' 
 concerned in th.e Rising Sun conspiracy; but he very cautiously kept himself 
 concealed. His slanders reached the ears of the representative in congress 
 from the county of Philadelphia. A message was sent to .him, and he was 
 obliged to resort to one falsehood to get rid of another. He never had the 
 manliness to face his enemy ; no wonder, therefore, that ])revarication and 
 falscnood should be instruments in his hands to adjust points of honoiu". 
 
 Meanness, cowardice and malignity are the predomniantfcttturcs of his cha- 
 racter. His friend, and the friend to whom he owed his political elevation, the 
 edi'or of the Aurora, he sought to undermine and to destroy. Duane was 
 appointed printer to the senate. Logan called at i is office in Wasiiington for 
 a copy of a document which the senate had ordered to be published for the use 
 of the members. He was informed that he would receive it at the Senate 
 chamber. He said he wanted it then, and that he would pay for it. He was 
 told that it would be given him there, instead of serving him with it in the 
 senate, and he received it. Money was offered by him and refused. The first 
 thing thing the reptile did after obtaining the document, was to inform Otis, 
 the secretary of the Senate, and a Federalist, that "■ Duane sold the documents 
 ' of the senate, before the meml)ers were served with them." Otis communicated 
 the information to Ditane's clerk in a note, and was soon satisfied that Logan 
 had asserted a falsehood. Duane was not ousted, according to Logan's expec- 
 tion, of the printing. 
 
 This man affected uncommon devotion to the president; and yet he could 
 not omit an opportunity to belittle him. Logan presented a member of the 
 senate of this state to Mr. Jefierson, who was very much pleased, and asked 
 Logan, when he had left the house, whether he was not a charming mani' No, 
 answered this Hottentot, I dont think he is, — •" The Huivarroiv boot is loo higk^ 
 end is iirn'a&y. The Jeffemon bout is too loiv, and lets in the dirt." Well did 
 Mr. Jefferson merit this speech, Avhen he let in such a dirtij fellow as George 
 Logan. ... 
 
 As he never pretended to steer by the compass of prmciple. or was guided 
 in his course by the chart of public good, we cannot be surprised at his being 
 the champion of M'Kean. Dallas, of whom he spoke so disrespectfully, 
 proposed him as the President of the Constitutional Society, and Logan, who 
 i-.ud vilified Dallas, accepted the place at his hands. Such a combination could 
 jhave no good for its object. Where even the elenients of morality were 
 wanting, we might look, and did look, for the extrem.e of proiiigacy, and we 
 were not disappointed. Logan used the President's name in his electioneer- 
 ing tour through Bucks county, in favour of M'Kean, and against the Demo- 
 cratic candidate. - He said, that he had received a letter from Mr. Jeffehson, 
 advising him to exertion in favour of M'Kean, On this, as on other occa- 
 sions, he asserted an untruth; for no such letter had ever been writtento him. 
 .By such base arts as these were the people of Pennsylvania gulled; and by 
 such impostors as Logan were they tricked into the reception of a viper in 
 ti.eir bosoms. 
 
15 
 
 The extremes of vanity and ignorance often meet in the same point, and 
 he has converged thtm in his own dear self; for in no other manner can we 
 account tor his pretensions lo the government of Pennsylvania. Jtipiter in 
 his wrath gave the frogs a stork to govern them; hut leally t/c should sup> 
 pose him to be in a fantastic mood incieed, if he should orclian an ape to go- 
 vern us:^a creature, whose brain " is as dry as the remainder biscuit after 
 a voyage," and who " hath strange places cramm'd 
 
 With observations, the which he vents 
 
 In mangled forms." 
 
 ISRAEL ISRAEL. 
 
 THIS man may be said to be truly a Jevo. His physiognomy is indica- 
 tive of the character of Shylock, and his conduct furnishes demonstrative 
 proof, that nature has written a legible hand. }:Ie will have the pound of 
 flesh, and the blood too, if he can obtain it. 
 
 He became a democrat, as he became a Chrirttian^ from self-interest. One 
 of tlie hungry expectants of ofHce, like a wolf, he was constantly upon the: 
 watch, to spruig upon the sheep-Told. He made his leap, was successful, and 
 gorged himself with the blood of the unfortunate. 
 
 The vanity of Israel is as proverbial as that of M'Kean. His intellects 
 are not above the common standard, and yet he has said, that he " was- born a 
 Itghlatorj" as" hi ft brother ivas born a soldier." Without education, without 
 any self-ac(|uired knowledge, and consequently without more information than 
 he has acquired in his tavern and stable walks, he has had the audacity to say, 
 that '■ he knew mure than all the democratic party put together ; and that if ihei^ 
 had been governed by him, they would have ftros/iered much more thati theii didP' 
 This 7riodest declaration was made before the origin of the cjuid faction, and, 
 therefore, comprehended the whole circle of the democratic party, down to 
 Dallas and Joe Scott. 
 
 That the reader may be enabled to appreciate the acquirements of Israel. 
 the following specimen of his orthography is exhibited. The quids hate bad 
 spellers, and, therefore, M'Kinney was put under the ban of the quid empire. 
 iterve, he spells '' mrve.'" Favour, '•'' faver" — would, " wold" — city, " scity :" 
 in a word, he is such a dunderhead, that he can scarcely spell one monosyllubJe 
 correctly; and yet so hi^ghly does he appreciate his own polish, that he con- 
 siders himself qualified to fill the first offices in the commonwealth. 
 
 Such was his importunity and his incessant eulogiums upon his own worth 
 and talents, that ne foisted himself upon the democratic party as a Senator, 
 and when disappointed in figuring m the Senate, in his natural character of a 
 Legislator, he intrigued to obtain a seat in congress. For this station he could 
 not persuade tne people that he was competent, and he was not even nomi- 
 nated. 
 
 He canted, whined, and pronounced discourses upon his own merits, untii 
 he was taken up as SheiiflT, and in his intercessions for the office, he averred, 
 that it was to serve the public and not himself, that he desired to succeed; 
 and yet, horrible to tell, no man in the administraiion of that ofiice, ever wrung 
 so much from poverty and misfortune as he did. To siich an extent did his 
 itch for tl'.e office lead him, and so desirous was he of exhibiting his eloquence 
 before the public, that at the time the militia legion paraded at (-rermantown. 
 and had actually taken up their line of march for the city, he had tliem halted 
 in an awkward position, mounted a cannon, and mouthed it until hesiied tears, 
 and the legion roared with laughter and grinned with contempt. "His trans- 
 cendant vanity and folly had nearly procured his ruin; for in so ludicrous a 
 situation did he place himself, by apeing the orator, and puffing his merits 
 and tulenls, that murmurs of dissatisfaction ran thrciroh every r<*nk; and tiic 
 
16 
 
 titmosl address of his friends became necessary to remove the impressions 
 produced by his childish egotism. 
 
 In the office of Sheriff he gave full indulgence to his natural propensities. 
 Money is the god of his idolatry, and money he determined to have, at the 
 expense of the orphan's tears and the Avidow's heart-aches. His heart knows 
 not to pity human woe; the fine sensibilities of human nature never even 
 fluttered around his breast; the voice of humanity was never known to touch 
 his soul ; the accents of despair and distraction were to him dull and inani- 
 mate sounds; like Shylock, therefore, he determined to take the blood and 
 flesh too. His skill in the art of calculating fees of office, exceeded any thing 
 in the memory of the present generation. It operated equal lo a compound 
 interest, and gladdened his heart with the misery of man. Such is his un| 
 feeling cast, that he imprisoned his own son, instead of paying the debt him- 
 self, and permitted the present Sheriff to be the security of another of his 
 sons, who had been detected in stealing, lest he might incur some pecuniary 
 risque by entermg into recognizance for him. Nay, he has charged board to 
 his son Joe, and when he asked this hopeful heir of his to present him with a 
 box of segars, no, answered he, father I will give you one^ you charge me four 
 dollars per week for my board, and you can afford to pay me for my segars. 
 It is said, and no doubt truly too, that poverty drove his son J^^at to stealing, 
 and that while the father was accumulating thousands, his own son had not 
 bread to eat. 
 
 When Israel became Sheriff he threw aside his principles, with the same 
 case and facility th.it he threw aside his cloaths, for they hung quite as loose 
 about him. His rapacity excited general abhorrence, his tergiversation, uni- 
 versal contempt; and havin?^ no chance with democrats to gratify his ambition 
 at the expiration of his sheriffalty, he went into market for sale to any bidder. 
 He struck himself off to his quid kindred, and they wished to cram him down 
 the throats of the federali^its; but they nauseated the vile dose, and disgorged 
 it. After having been detectedby Milnor, in charging double fees, and be- 
 ing compelled by 1 ini to refund, in his wrath he declared his determination to 
 go to the Legislature to correct the eviles of the sheriff's office: he knew 
 them, and could apply a remedy. He said, that the emoluments were too 
 great for any man, and his wish was that they might be curtailed, not from 
 himself^ but from his successor !" 
 
 Israel is one of themoderate pai'ty, of which M'Kean is the chief. A party 
 the most violently moderate that ever appeared in the United states. Danton 
 and Robespierre were not more outrageously moderate than the quid faction 
 composed of Dallas, Israel i:f Co. Let us exhibit one specimen, among the 
 multitvtde, of Israel's moderation. Aj the lime of the western insurrection 
 of 1794, he was a member of the democratic society. Certain resolutions 
 were passed, disapproving of the conduct of the insurgents. He opposed 
 them with the utmost vehemence, and after they were carried, he rushed out 
 of the society in a fury attended by all the moderates, and among his attend- 
 ants were the moderate Blair M'Clenachan, and the more moderate John 
 Smith, the present Marsh. .1 of Pciii.sylvania. 
 
 Gentle and kind-hearted souls, ]i.-.e my uncle Toby, they would not hurt 
 even a horse fly ; and were our st-tc only filled with such benevolent and ten- 
 der spirits as Governor M'Kean, hiri: el Israel, A. J. Duiias, John Douglas, 
 Joe Scott, George Logan, and Robert ijiobston, we might h.al the millenium, 
 and shout peace on earth and good wjil lo Ai men ! ! ! 
 
 He has always been one of the huiigry cxptCL..!its of office, and because 
 M'Kean would not make him grand cham'ii:rlani, oru grand duke, or a Chief 
 Justice, or the devil knows what, like Jo;i..th;ia £. omu i, he was constantly 
 oil the grumble. Not satisfied with having two heads oi" the hydra provided 
 
17 
 
 for, like Douglass, he wished the people to become the prey of the whoje 
 brood. 
 
 Let us finish this disgusting portrait with the following anecdotes. In the 
 year 1797 he was appointed a Cominissioner to distribute the 10,000 dollars, 
 appropriated by the Legislature for the relief of the poor of the City and 
 Liberties. One day he asked the Treasurer to give him a sum of money for 
 Mrs. Porter. He was asked who she was? He answered, no matter: then 
 turning to one of his colleagues, after having obtained the money, whispered, 
 that Mrs. Porter was the porter they had been drinking. His colleague was 
 shocked at the trick, and at the attempt to apply the money of the poor to 
 pay for their liquor, and mentioned it. The treasurer was awakened to suspi- 
 cion by the whispers, and demanded an explanation. It was at length given, 
 and the Treasurer declared that he would no longer have any thing to do 
 with such proceedings ; that he had no idea of plundering the poor of their 
 pittance to benefit his stomach, and that he would resign the office, unless the 
 money for drink was paid by themselves. A contribution was then raised for 
 the purpose, and all contributed but Israel Israel! ! 
 
 When he was agreed upon as a candidate for the office of SheriflF, he desi- 
 red that the Committee of Superintendance should have his name stricken off 
 with the other tickets, and that he would be at the expence. It was so done. 
 After the election was over, he was called upon by one of committee for his 
 subscription to defray the expences of the election. After some hesitation, he 
 put his hand in his pocket and produced a half a dollar and nifie /lence ! In a 
 few days after, a person that he employed to post his advertisements, called 
 upon him for a dollar and an half, for that service. Israel referred him to the 
 Committee, telling him, that he had subscribed towards paying the expences, 
 and that he must apply there for payment. 
 
 Israel was a member of the Tammany Society, from which he has since 
 been expelled. On a memorable occasion, he declared, in the face of the 
 Society, that " every democrat should read the Jliirora hi preference to the 
 bible I'''' and yet this arch impostor is now in solemn league and covenant to 
 annihilate a print, which he once appreciated more than he did holy writ. 
 " He sighs with a piece of Scripture, 
 Tells them that God bids us do good for evil; 
 And thus he clothes his naked villainy. 
 With old ends, stolen forth of holy writ, 
 And seems a saint, when most he plays the devil," 
 
 JOHN DOUGLASS. 
 
 IN commencing this portrait we are almost compelled to exclaim with 
 the poet, 
 
 " Now by my sovil it makes me blush to know 
 My spirit could descend to such a foe." 
 For in truth he requii^es only the ears of an ass to be thus classed by natu- 
 ralists. 
 
 His life exhibits little more than couldbe met with in a farmer's barn yard 
 or stye. Like his kinsman he put on the lion's skin in the hope that he could 
 lord it over his species ; but his brayings have betrayed the animal, and 
 instead of terror he has awakened contempt. 
 
 One of the hungriest of the hungry expectants of office, he has put in his 
 claim for almost every vacant office. Without capacity to state an account, 
 and ignorant of the first rules of arithmetic, he intrigued to become the 
 Treasurer of the City Corporation, and his disappointment furnishes us with 
 the first chapter of the sad Lamentations of John. 
 
 An Alderman's birth next engaged his attention ; and to sooth his wounded 
 spirit, and prevent his desertion, through the influence of certain democratic 
 
 c 
 
18 
 
 characters, he was commissioned. Not satisfied with a place so far beyond 
 his capacity or his merits, his next effort was to procvire the mayorahy ot" the 
 City of Philadelphia. Never did man display greater effrontery. Even at 
 this moment, although a nine-penny dealer, and in the constant practice of 
 selling warrants, he cannot fill up correctly an ordinary summons. He can- 
 not spell the most familiar terms, or write a legible hand, and is wholly igno- 
 rant of the duties of his office ; and yet so inordinate was his thirst of office, 
 that he laboured to become the Mayor ; and if all the members of the Coun- 
 cils had been as great asses as some of them, he would certainly have been 
 elected. 
 
 His next effort was to provide for his progeny, and in this he has been tole- 
 rably fortunate ; for two of his sons are now maintined at the public expence. 
 Not content with such a provision, he intrigued to have the gaoler removed, 
 that his son might obtain the place ; but the justices of the peace, and 
 the Aldermen, would be neither bullied nor cajoled by him ; and his mortifica- 
 tion on this occasion gave us the second chapter of the Lamentations of 
 John. 
 
 To him it matters not whether his family is maintained in an alms-house or a 
 goal, provided they are only cloathed and fed at the public expence ; for he is 
 not very delicate in his appetite ; if he cannot get the loin, he will content him- 
 self with the shin. It was truly said of him by afederal Alderman, that, " so 
 insatiable is his appetite for office, that he would not be contented until his 
 wife was made Qhicf Justice.''^ 
 
 JAMES GAMBLE. 
 
 WERE it not for the pubHc function that this man has been cloathed 
 with, he would be too contemptible to be reflected in the Mirror. He is not 
 known, and to make him known is the principal object in exhibiting him. His 
 introduction to the United States would, under different circumstances, have 
 entitled him to a gibbet. At the commencement of the American Revolution 
 he was a British subject. At the island of Jamaica, he found a friend, who 
 entrusted him with the command of a sloop freighted with produce for New- 
 York, then in possession of the British army. Instead of conveying the ves- 
 sel to the place of destination, he brought he into the United States, claimed 
 and obtained her as his prize. This act of piracy laid the foundation of his 
 fortune. Blackbeard was called a pirate, and treated as such, for similar acts 
 in time of peace; and it was only a state of war that gave this act a different 
 character, and prevented its perpetrator from receiving the punishment awar- 
 ded by the laws to a pirate. The robbery was committed, and in moral tur- 
 pitude there could be no difference, whether the vessel was usurped by him 
 in peace or war. He was not an American, and, therefore, the principles of 
 patriotism could not have operated upon him. He was a British subject, and, 
 therefore, was bound by his allegiance to do his country all the good he could; 
 instead of which, he was not guilty only of a breach of the highest trust, but he 
 became a traitor and a pirate. What confidence can be reposed in such a man 
 by an honest and honourable people ! 
 
 Captain Cox employed him as a mate on board a ship that he commanded. 
 On coming out of the Havanna the ship was captured, and G ramble was left 
 on board with a few hands. Some difficulties to which the captors were ex- 
 posed gave him an opportunity to slip the ship into port, as she was then 
 near the mouth of the harbour. Gamble sold the ship to the Spanish govern- 
 ment for twenty thousand dollars, and shipped the cargo to the United States. 
 Captain Cox was an owner of the ship, and had on board a private adventure 
 of sugar. He applied to Gamble to restore him his adventure only ; but was 
 refused not only the adventure but even his quadrant. Gamble had the goo4 
 
19 
 
 fortune to escape the gallows, for by the British he would have been treated 
 as a pirate; and he very conscientiously pocketed even the private adventure 
 of his friend. Thus much for his achievements during the American revo- 
 lution. 
 
 If he had been known, he never would have disgraced the Senate of Penn- 
 sylvania; but he was not known, and, therefore, he became a member. Under 
 a specious outside, he conceals the most profound hypocrisy. Armed with 
 a species of low cunning, and habitually professing a great respect tor honour 
 and honesty, for a long time he imposed even upon men of discernment. 
 By means of shuffling and falsehood, dissimulation and religious professions, 
 he slipped into the Senate as he slipped into the Havanna, by good luck. Such a 
 creature was a fit tool for the quids and M'Kean, and they used him. Gamble 
 was extremely anxious to be a member of the Board of Health ; the Gover- 
 nor could not refuse him, and he was appointed. Although M'Kean knew so 
 much about the constitution and laws, he knew not, that such an appointment 
 was in express violation of the constitution ; for Gamble had assisted in pas- 
 sing the law, and therefore the constitution forbade him any appointment under 
 it. On this being made known to the Governor, Gamble was obliged to re- 
 turn his commission. 
 
 From the moment he got into the senate he began to develope his true cha- 
 racter. His falsehoods were discovered, his tricks could not be concealed, and 
 his gossipings became known. He was too superficial not to be detected. It 
 was time to look out for another p0rt. Hitherto he had been successful in 
 tricking those who confided in him, and was flattered with an expectation, 
 from former experiments, that he should again come off" with flying colours. 
 On the trial of the Judges he tricked his constituents; but he had previously 
 steered his little vessel for another Havanna. The office of an auctioneer was 
 the reward for this treachery. He had served M'Kean, and reciprocity was 
 to be expected — it may have been the basis of the contract. As an auctioneer 
 ho one would trust him; it became, therefore, a hulk upon his hands. He 
 had sold himself for the office, and he resolved to sell the office in turn. A 
 purchaser was soon found, and Gamble pocketed some hundreds of dollars. 
 This is one of the honest and leading men belonging to the quid faction. 
 
 ISAAC WORRELL. 
 
 THE commission of Brigadier General alone entitles this man to notice. 
 A mere butterjiy^ he flutters in a summer's sun, and is only an object of atten- 
 tion, when he becomes an object of curiosity. 
 
 He commenced his career upon a shop board ; and his master, Mr. Stephen 
 Phipps, truly said of him, that " nothing but his imfiudence could ever have 
 pushed him forward; for he is without abilities, and of impudence he had dis- 
 played an ample share when he lived with him." 
 
 His claim to revolutionary services is much the same with that of his pre- 
 tensions to modesty ; for although he held a commission in the militia during 
 the time General Howe vv^as in possession of this city, he very cunningly threw 
 himself into the way of the British forces, and Avas taken by them out Of his 
 bed in Frankford. Woful and desparate, indeed, would have been the Ame- 
 rican cause, if it had depended upon .such soldiers^ or upon tuch patriots. 
 
 His politics, like his military coxirse, were an article of convenience, and 
 both were to be caught nafifnng^ whenever his interest was to be benefited. 
 He started a Federalist; but about the time that the sun of Federalism was 
 setting in the county of Philadelphia, he suddenly shifted, and became a De- 
 mocrat ; and by this means he obtained a seat in the General Assembly. As 
 cyphers are sometimes necessary to figures, he was admitted, an appendage 
 
20 
 
 to the county representation, to complete the number; and as such he stood, 
 as long as he remained in that body. 
 
 The wand of a magician has convei'ted a mouse into a coach horse; and 
 by executive magic he was metamorphosed into a General. The gold 
 epaulets and the blue and buff, were too brilliant for his weak eyes, and he 
 staggered among the quids. 
 
 Isaac was always upon the look-out for an office. He, no doubt, thought 
 that a quid General had a better chance than a Democrat. The quids, 
 modest creatures ! are enemies to office-hunters, and they seceded from the 
 democrats because of this enmity, and verily so did Isaac. Like Israel, he 
 desired to be Sheriff, out of pure love for the peo/ilc^ not that he wished it to 
 benefit himself. In his own opinion, popularity, like his prowess, was invin- 
 cible; but, a-lack-day, the hero of Frankford was totally defeated. Like the 
 Duke of York, he made a retrograde movement, and defiled, with his tail 
 between his legs into Frankford. 
 
 M'Kean created him a general, and as Isaac had nothing to expect from the 
 people, he determined to stick to his creator. He became a member of the 
 Constitutional Society, and what is still more extraordinary, Dallas conver- 
 ted him into a inember of their Corres/wnding Committee. Dallas forgot, that 
 Isaac knew how to stich better than he knew how to ivrite ; but no matter 
 he could sign his name, and the name of a general was all he wanted. 
 
 His mouth was always wide open for office, and if the people will not make 
 him the sheriff, the Governor must reward him some how or other; and if 
 not with an office, certainly v/ith the fifty thousand dollars he has demanded 
 of Mr. Leiper, for daring to oppose his election. Isaac pleads misfortunes, 
 and he cannot and must not be unprovided for. The nabob of Frankford 
 must not be Avithout a revenue, or his epaulets will tarnish, and his toledo rust 
 in its scabbard. So valiant and renamed a commander deserves well of 
 M'Kean, if not of his country! ! Five la bagatelle .' 
 
 Isaac is a bawler in favour of the people and of representative government, 
 and to show his respect for them, at last November election for a senator, he 
 voted for a notorious bawd, by the name of Irish Kate ! 1 He may have an apo- 
 logy ready for this, by insisting, that a freeman may vote for any one he pleases, 
 and most certainly for his ovjyi likeness ! ! 
 
 JOHN SMITH. 
 
 IF ever apostate deserved to be held up to public scorn, this is the man. 
 Laziness made him a politician. He was too idle to work at his trade, and he 
 commenced patriot by profession. He lounged and gossipped away the little 
 he had, until he was obliged to subsist upon the charily and the contributions 
 of his friends. His hand Avas in the pocket of every man Avho Avould lend him 
 a dollar. Such was his violence, his intolerance, and his meddling, that the 
 democratic party suffered ten fold more from his friendship than it could 
 have sustained from his enmity. He belonged to the mountain in the Demo- 
 cratic Society, and Avas one of the number that seceded, when the resolutions 
 Avere carried, disapproving of the conduct of the Avestern insurgents. So 
 combustible was lie, that he Avould haA'e involved the Avhole democratic party 
 of the state in the flames of insurrection. 
 
 He made a conspicuous figure in the Northamp«^on expedition, orhotAvater 
 war. He Avas a lieutenant of dragoons, and in that character transmitted the 
 account of the troops living at free quarters: and of their depredations and 
 cruelties. His Northampton letter involved the Editor of the Aurora in the 
 persecutions Avhich he sustained in the year 1799, and subjected him to the 
 murderous treatment Avhich he experienced from a band of assassins, headed 
 by Joe M'Kean. 
 
21 
 
 Immediately after the election of Mr. Jefferson Vv'as declared, he applied 
 to become the Marshal of Pennsylvania ; for then he had no objection to re- 
 movals from office, to make way for himself. Dallas opposed his appoint- 
 ment; but he succeeded, through the exertions of those, against whom he at 
 present entertains the most inveterate hostility, and in dehance of Dallas's 
 opposition. 
 
 i rom the moment of his appointment, he became the tool of Dallas, nay, 
 his very lick-spiitie. Dallas manages him as the juggler does his puppet, and 
 he runs or walks, leaps or jumps, as he is directed. He is a spaniel of the 
 most fawning species. 
 
 He was appointed to the office, to give the Democrats of Pennsylvania an 
 opportunity of having an impartial trial by jury; but his predecessor, Hall, 
 who was removed would have done them as much, if not more justice. His 
 panels are chiefly Federal; nay on a memol'able occasion, wlien the Editor of 
 the Aurora was the defendant, he studied to select such as would ensure a ver- 
 dict against him. His suppleness to the enemies of the administration and 
 his insolence to its friends, have excited the contempt of all parties. No 
 man that ever was invested with a little brief authority so far forgot himself 
 and his professions, we cannot say his /imici/iles^ as John Smith. 
 
 On M'lvean's first election he solicited an office, and when he was overlook- 
 ed (for be it remembered, that without talents or influence, he always consi- 
 dered himself the greatest man of the party) he commenced grumbletonian, 
 and fulminated against the Governor. Then he was unfit for the office. 
 
 W hen the quid faction took its rise, his feeling immediately responded to 
 theirs ; for as they were composed of moderates, it was his natural element to 
 be \\'\l\i modtr ate men! SmitU always had a mighty penchant to be thought 
 a gentleman; and as the quids were gentlemen, bethought it more compatible 
 with his dignity and honour to be associated with Dallas and Joe Scott, 
 George Logan and Adjutant Brobston, Jemmy Gramble and Alexander Moore, 
 than with such Democratic dregs, as Leiper and Lawler, Clay and Leib, 
 Sharswood and Ferguson. Aut Caesar, aut nuUus, is not his maxim; for 
 he would rather be cup-bearer or valet de chambre to Dallas, than figure as 
 an orator in a Democratic Society, or at a town meeting. 
 
 Notwithstanding Smith's denunciations of M'Kean, for refusing him an 
 office, he became one of his knights' errant at the last election, and brandished 
 his toledo against St. George and the Dragon. As he ivrites and spells as well as 
 Israel, he may have been employed by Dallas at his Castellum, to revise and 
 correct the mammoth address; but of this we cannot but offer conjecture. 
 
 The time was when Ernulphuses's curse was but the first grade of punish- 
 ment awarded by Smith to Federalists ; but the time now is, when he feels 
 himself as much flattered by their notice of him, and their union with him,as 
 he does when Judge Washington condescends to eat of Iiis soup. 
 " I'd rather be a dog, and bay the moon, 
 Than such a creature 1" 
 
 WILLIAM T. DONALDSON. 
 
 IF this man had not presumed to oiler himself a candidate for the office 
 of Sheriff, such is his insignificance, that he would have been unworthy of 
 notice : for eagles do not stoop to catch flies, lieyond a hows/irzt or a boom 
 he has not two ideas. He endeavoured to attract public attention, by a show 
 of benevolence; but while he made a parade of his humanilyand disinterest- 
 edness, he displayed that his own dear self was at the bottom of every action. 
 He wished to be Sherifl", and all his ellbrts converged to this point. He put 
 on the masque of hypocrisy, because he thought it would increase his cliance 
 of becoming SherilV He g«vlIoped about in the yellow fever limes, because he 
 
22 
 
 visJied fo be Sheriff. He distributed the money of other people to the poor, 
 with a show of generosity, as if it had issued from his own purse, because he 
 wished to obtain votes. Beneath an exterior of mildness, heconceals a ma- 
 lignant and rancorous heart ; and in the destruction of an adversary he is 
 bounded by nothing but incapacity. He has the will but not the power to do 
 mischief 
 
 It is said, that chance happens to all men, and he chanced to become a 
 member of the Board of Health. As an evidence of his moral fitness to be 
 thcsherifF of this wealthy district, let the following anecdote suffice, the truth 
 of which is susceptible of legal proof. The Board of HeaUh possess the 
 old Lazaretto on Province Island. The property was rented, and while 
 Donaldson was the President of the Board, he received either three quarters 
 or a year's rent, in different payments, the amount about one hundred dollars, 
 and put it into his own pocket. After he was dismissed from the Board by 
 the Govenor, a committee from the Board of Health called upon the 
 tenant for the payment of the arrearage of rent. They were informed 
 that no rent was due, that it had been paid to the late President of the 
 Board. The committee, fired at the assertion, considering it a calumny 
 upon Donaldson, demanded the evidence ofpayment. His receipts were pro- 
 duced. An examination was again made, to ascertain whether Donaldson had 
 given credit for the money, or had paid it into the hands of the Treasurer; 
 but he had done neither the one nor the other. He had put the money in his 
 own pocket. He was called upon to refund — the detection overwhelmed him 
 with confusion, and heintreated a silence upon the subject. His apology for 
 the act aggravated the offence, inasmuch as it added a falsehood to the disho- 
 nor. He pretended to have forgotten that he had received the rent! ! He had 
 received the rent at several and distant periods; he had been engaged in busi- 
 ness of the Health Office daily, for he made it an occupation, and yet he had 
 forgotten it i ! Indeed, no man who is not as great an ideot as himself, can 
 believe so absurd a tale. 
 
 Donaldson became a quid by accident; for hehas not intelcctuallight enough 
 to be directed by any thing else but accident and passion. He happened to 
 go to the Rising Sun by invitation, without knowing what was the object of 
 the meeting, and he happened to enroll himself among the thirty, and as he 
 happens to persist in what he began, he persists in being a quid. This is his 
 own logic. A quid let him remain ; for surely neither the democratic nor the 
 federal party would acknowledge a man, who as the President of an instituti- 
 on, had endeavoured to swindle it out of its funds. 
 
 Can the people of this district be so lost to principle and honor, as to elect 
 such a man their Sheriff? The thing is impossible! The man has notbeeii 
 alile to manage his own affairs, how then can he manage the affairs of other 
 people? We have seen how he has managed the affairs of the public, how 
 ^hen can he be trusted ? If we are to have a quid Sheriff, let him at least pos- 
 sess common sense and common honesty. 
 
 JONATHAN B. SMITH. 
 
 THE description of the Apothecary in Romeo and Juliet, would suit 
 Jonathan exactly. Avarice has scarcely left aoovering for his bones, and his 
 bilious disposition has given him a cast of countenance that would rival the 
 <-ynic Diogenes. 
 
 " All seems yellow to the jaundiced eye," says the poet, and truly every 
 thing has its hue in the eye of this misanthrope. Before he turned quid, he 
 was a grumbletonian of the first order; for he was incessantly grumbling at 
 M'Kean Whether the Governor had overlooked his merits in his arrange- 
 inents : or whether he had not distinguished liim by his notice ; or whether 
 
23 
 
 grumbling is his food, must be left to conjecture. He is like those little curs 
 which infest our streets, and snap at every thing passing. For a while he 
 snarled at the President, because he continued federalists in office ; then he 
 snarled at M'Kean, aud now he is snarling at the democrats. A sofi would, 
 perhaps, compose him for the moment; but as opposition is his element, even 
 this would not content him long. He must grumble, for he cannot help it. 
 So herteroclite a creature is too disgusting to dwell upon. We shall, there- 
 fore, leave him to the gratification of his spleen. We neither envy him nor 
 wish to be employed upon a character so contemptible. 
 
 MAHLON DICKERSON. 
 
 THIS is an adventurer from New-Jersey, who came to this city to save 
 himself from starvation. His figure indicates famine, being not unlike a bird 
 that frequents the borders of marshes, in search of little fish. Some wags 
 among us have found his restmblance in Lininahago^ one of Dr. Smollet's fa- 
 vourites. 
 
 He professes law, and on his alighting here after his flight from his native 
 home he professed to be a democrat. There was not a democratic club of 
 any sort or size, for some years after his arrival here, that he would not stalk 
 into, and gabble democi-acy. Extremely anxious to attract notict, he would 
 rather submit to be a butt, than pass unobserved. As long as violence would 
 suit his views he was as violent as John Smith the Marshal, and John was al- 
 ways as hot as the tail of a comet; but when he became one of Dallas's appen- 
 dages, and Dallas would halloo any thing, Dickerson was the echo. 
 
 Dickerson, like Smith, always had an itch to be thought a great man, and in 
 order to be great and ascend, he fixed himself as bob to the tail of Dallas's kite, 
 forgetting that Dallas's kite was but a flimsey thing, and that a stiff breeze 
 would make it pitch, and dash it into atoms. 
 
 This man has gone the grand round of servility and sycophancy. Knowing 
 M'Kean's vanities, he paid incessant court to him, laughed at every thins^ 
 M'Kean wished him to laugh at, and approved of every thing as oracles which 
 fell from his lips. He made the old dotard believe, that he was the greatest 
 Judge, the greatest Governor, the greatest Statesman, and the greatest Com- 
 mander that everlived; and for tliis he was metamorphosed into an Adjutant 
 General ! Dickerson scarcely knows the muzzle from the butt-end of a musket, 
 nor a platoon from a regiment, nor a line from a column, and yet he is the 
 Adjutant Gerieral of Pennsylvania ! I Such an Adjutant General, and such a 
 Governor, are truly a burlesque of Republican Government. 
 
 Dickerson, like Dallas, is an enemy to office-hunters; and no wonder; like 
 his prototype, '.e is determined, that no one shall hunt offices but himself. Let 
 us bear in mind, that he is an adventurer from New-Jersey, and notwithstanding 
 this, he has had three offices at one time, and actually holds two at this mo- 
 ment. He was a Commissioner of Bankrupts, Solicitor to the Corporation, 
 and Adjutant General of Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania must be in apoor plight 
 indeed, and must feel herself degraded, even in her own eyes, when a renega- 
 do from a sister state is deemed the only qualified person to administer some 
 of her most important offices 1 
 
 Dickerson is very fond of eating Dallas's soup and drinking of his wine; and 
 from his simpering he would lead Dallas to believe, that he was his devoted 
 friend. But Dickerson knows a trick worth two of it. He will fawn on Dal- 
 las like a spaniel, or purr like a cat about him, but he has no notion of encoun- 
 tering an angry look on Dallas's account. On a certain occasion, Dickerson 
 was standing at the fire by the side of two federal lawyers, in the circuit court, 
 as Dallas entered. One of them remarked, as Dallas entered, that " there came 
 Qne of the greatest ranais that ever cJitercd a court of justice." If Dickerson 
 
24 
 
 did not simper approbation, he had not the honor or the courage to defend his 
 friend; but his silence denoted an assent to the truth of the remark. 
 
 When the clouds begin to gather around the heads of M'Kean or Dallas 
 Dickerson will be thefirst to beat a retreat from them. He is a sunshine friend 
 as well as a sunshine patriot, and he is ever ready to turn his face towards the 
 rising, and his back upon the setting sun. Like Democracy, they have been 
 his stalking-horse, and he will thi'ow them aside with as little difftculty as he 
 did hisprinciples when he turned quid. 
 
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