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 An Acting Drama in I. Act by VTM. BUSH 
 
 ; » A 
 
 "Our German Cousin from America." 
 
 A. THOU OF THE TOUOTIW HOOKS AND DRAMAS: 
 
 The Keel Hand, ZteJoSta," ^ometheus,— Margurate,'" 
 
 'btM4,<f*f SZr^c&y 
 
 Entered, according to Act of Congress m the year 1877 by WM RTTSTT i„ «,„ „« * 
 the Librarian of Congress at Washington, a C . ' ° "* ° tt0e 0f 
 
 Stt-e^ln/c^kTv^KT'L^Ifo* 116 aUth0r ' S - I***"* 
 

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DEDICATION. 
 
 To George Kruikshank, Esq., Is dedicated this drama 
 as a token of profound respect for the genial friend and 
 veteran in art and reform, who with Messrs, Geo. Campel, 
 Dan vers and others of my numerous and esteemed London 
 friends introduced me, as "Our German Cousin from 
 America," to London audiences, whom I had the honor 
 publicly to address during my sojourn in London in 1870. 
 while on a tour on the continent 
 
 The Author, 
 
 DRAMATIS PERSONAE. 
 
 Mehemed,— A Turkish Pasha. 
 
 Mukhtar— His Vizier, 
 
 Ludovic,— An English Gentleman. 
 
 Beatrice,— An English lady. 
 
 Sussie,— Her Chamber maid. 
 
 Eunuchs, Poets, Musician, Photographer, Florist, Modist, 
 
 Turkish women, Turkish soldiers, Eccentrics, Olla- 
 
 pods and Supernumeraries, 
 
 SCENERY. 
 
 Drama located in Constatinople : 
 bCEN-E I.— A room in the palace of the pasha in 3rd and 4th 
 grooves, furnished in palatial stvle, turkish fashion. 
 Scene changes to road in 1st or 2nd groove. On flat, 
 is suburb of Constantinople and Olympus. 
 Scene II. — A Turkish hotel, furnished oriental fashion, 
 situation of it commences with 2nd groove, running to 
 rear. Parlor is located in front at R. of stage, it is open 
 towards front, but otherwise inclosed with glass parti- 
 tion, a side door leading in it, from hotel office, which 
 is located in rear of parlor and towards L. of stajre. It 
 nas usual furniture, counter, etc. 
 Scene changes to street in 1st groove. 
 Scene III —A Seraglio in 2nd, 3rd and 4th grooves, it is 
 divided by glass partition in rear, luxuriously furnished 
 turkish style. 
 
 Scene changes to street in 1st groove. 
 rL IY '~~ A mos( l ue and mausoleum in 2nd, 3rd and 
 4th grooves, tomb is surrounded by a railing stands 
 
in rear at R. of stage, door of tomb fronts audience. 
 Track of railway runs in rear of tomb from R. to L. 
 diagonal cross stage. Tomb is surmounted by a cupola. 
 Inside of tomb contaius pious pictures, frescoes and 
 mosaics, statue of Mohamed on pedestal in it, Beatrice 
 in former dress or shroud as best suits, stands erect 
 in coffin, lid open and fronting to audience her hands 
 folded resting on a wire, at whose end a bell is attached. 
 Moon rising illumes scene. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 It. means right side of stage, L. left, F. front, M. 
 middle, D. door, C. centre. 
 
 N. B. — A mere outline is here given as to scenery, 
 stage directions, gestures, incidents and dramatic effects. 
 Customes to suit the characters assumed. 
 
 Scene I. —A room in the palace of the pasha. Enter 
 Pasha Mehemed and eunuch, pasha sits down. 
 
 P. Have yon put all the wheels in motion and learned all 
 about that fair christian charmer, I saw this morning on 
 the mart. 
 
 E. I have your exellency, as far as my sex and position 
 will permit. 
 
 P. My commission needs no innuendos I don't expect, 
 that the tyler of my morganatic wives, spies into her 
 toilet chamber, to examine into the quality of her 
 corset, or explores her coifur, or meddles with her 
 paraphernalia, via dentist, barber, modist or pedalic 
 artist. Let me briefly know where she comes from 
 and whither she goes. 
 
 E. Briefly then I say, she comes from England and 
 thither she goes again. 
 
 P. Tyler you're excruciatingly brief, you may preserve 
 you modesty and still let me know in what caravansary 
 of our great city she stops, who is her escort and all 
 her surroundings, safe that of the milliner. 
 
 E. If I be permitted I may say then, that she arrived here 
 a few days ago, to inspect our city and that to night she 
 will leave again with the train for u ould hen gland" 
 I found out tnat she with some superfluous relative and 
 and her future intended, had visited Jerusalem, the 
 Christian's Mecca and while their her male companions 
 had been made a head shorter. 
 
 P. Ah ! I understand and rejoice, the male escorts lost 
 their breaths, the ignis fatuus which lights up our mun- 
 dane existence. 
 
— 3 — 
 
 E. The very thing, some wild beast of an arabian desert 
 had played the deuce with them. In short I have set 
 all machinery in motion, so that you excellency may 
 yet harbor this christian morsel. 
 
 P. If all speeds well, a thousand rubels will be thine ; but 
 get her at all hazards as I have set my eye on her, I 
 may say my heart. 
 
 E. (aside). That sulphur eye of his augurs ill. 
 
 (aloud). I have learned that this afternoon, she will 
 take her last drive through our surburbs and I have 
 bribed the driver, so that at a certain point the carriage 
 will break down. 
 
 P. Bravo ! Spike the wheels, for I must have her either by 
 fair or if need be by foul means, 
 
 E. Thus then at the happening of the accident we will all 
 rush to the carriage for rescue and conduct her to her 
 hotel and thus her immediate departure will be delayed 
 
 P. And have you send out those powerful auxilaries 
 of love* The Knights of the muse, the fidler and the 
 poet, as well, as the counter — feiter of nature, the artists 
 of the brush, canvas and camera and last but not least 
 the modist and florist. 
 
 E. I have send your exellency's valets and they have 
 scoured the highways and the byways for these ver- 
 mins, and soon an army of dissemblers of art and nature, 
 will be here to serve your excellency's pleasure, 
 
 P. As soon as then, as they come send them to me one 
 after another, and bring me a list of their names and 
 vocation. (Bell rings enter Mukhtar his vizier). On 
 the peril of your life let nothing come short to accom- 
 plish this mission, but here comes my vizier. (Eunuch 
 bowing and exit). Now my valued friend (shake hands) 
 you just arrived in time, when I was balancing in the 
 scale one of the gentle sex. 
 
 V. And turned she out li^ht or heavy ? 
 
 P. As far as appearance snowed she" turned out heavy on 
 virtue. 
 
 V. Need I tell you, an old sailor on the matrimonial sea, 
 that appearances often deceive. 
 
 P. True all that radiates, and sheds fragrance like a rose 
 bud, is not one. But she has other admirable qualities, 
 she is a christian, and you know how much I like to 
 possess one of the daughters of the despised Nazarene, 
 they are are so lovable. 
 
 V. Perhaps she is a blarsted brittisher in crinolines. 
 
 P. Just so. 
 
 V. Does she take any "hale"? 
 
 P. No but she rides on the u orse." 
 
 V. Has she any other recommendations ? 
 
— 4 — 
 
 P. I think she can wag her ear. 
 
 V. Take care she might wag her tongue. 
 
 P. In short I conceived a passion for her, when I saw her 
 this morning on the mart. 
 
 Y. And the appetite of Mahomeds corner stone must be 
 satisfied. 
 
 P. Allah be praised. 
 
 Y. But I thought that a man of your years and dignity, 
 was not the plaything of the whims and desires of 
 youth. 
 
 P. My friend (points to himself) look at this portly frame 
 full of vigor, the blood coursing lustily through the 
 arteries. Am 1 not compelled to love and sigh in the 
 presence of beauty, like the verdant swain who carries 
 his heart on his coat lapel. Youth may chide age for 
 doating, and age chide youth for rashness ; but youth 
 and age are alike subject to the whims of the amorous 
 passion, and nothing, but the man with the sythe can 
 crop such proclivities. 
 
 V. But then age is the contemporer of reason. 
 
 P. Ha ! ha ! Love in its various phases, is alike in youth 
 and age. It leads reason by the nose. It is bred, and 
 born in our flesh and bones and the only difference 
 between youth and age is, that in the latter the execution 
 runs short of the desire and the appetite eternally 
 craving without due satisfaction. 
 
 V. But your station. 
 
 P. Station and dignity are empty bubbles, if we don't enjoy 
 the pleasures of this this mundane sphere. A life en- 
 joyed to the brim, is a life well spent. 
 
 V. And to the circle of pleasures belongs women. 
 
 P. Aye ! they are the circle, nay the sum and substance, 
 with only a few other solitary spokes of pleasures in the 
 cycle of enjoyment. 
 
 Y. But how about the lady, how will you make her keel 
 over. 
 
 P. Everything is in motion,, to get this charmer into my 
 seraglio. Her carriage will break down on the street 
 and she will be compelled to stay a few days longer in 
 one of our caravansaries, and I have engaged a score of 
 shams to entangle her in the web of love. 
 
 Y. Shams — shams, pray what are they ? 
 
 P. Why ! the poets, lidellers, painters, modists, tailors, 
 florists, dentists, coifeurers and a lot of others, in fact 
 we are all shams, society is a sham. 
 
 Y. A fair confession but what has that to do with the love 
 intrigue. 
 
 P. Why these dissemblers are the fans which fan love into 
 life and existence. They are the prompters which call 
 
the affections forth, they cloth verms with most seductive 
 charms, throw a roseate halo around cupid's form. 
 
 V. And thus loves masquarate begins. 
 
 P. {Enter valet with list). But hold on, here are at the 
 very props on which love rests and now hear how I will 
 catechise them (takes list from valet). Let loves torch 
 bearers enter as I call them, (calls from list). Siguor 
 Condy, (he enters* somber, long hair.) Are you a born 
 poet or a made one. let me see your ryhine, (he hands him 
 paper.) Poet. Both your exelleiicy, betwixt and between. 
 half made half born. 
 
 P. (peruses it). Why sir this an obituary poem. I don't 
 want that yet. it may do hereafter, but just now I want 
 sonneting lively, to "stir love's fires, young man bury 
 your profession, nature designed you to be a coffin 
 maker. ( Waves him off and he exits). Master Hanswurst. 
 (he enters). I hope your ryhme wo'nthe of that jaw 
 breaking caliber, as your name, (he takes paper silently 
 peruses). That wo'nt do either, you got somewhat the 
 nack of poesy, but it has the odor of grog, such poetry 
 would'nt cater to the sentimental and tickle taste of 
 • love. (Waves him off he exits). Don Juan (he enters). 
 Well my friend let me see of what poesy your brain has 
 been delivered, (gives paper which he peruses), well Sir ! 
 • in nature's workshop you seem to have been made for 
 the thing intended. There is music in every ryhme; 
 But mind you, in the sonnet, you compose for the lady 
 of my adoration, don't sacrifice sense for rhyme, soar 
 as high, as possible, for know the sentiment of love's 
 spring is lofty, but take care to keep the altitude 
 attained, and let not your dulcet metre sink with one fell 
 swoop down into the abyss. 
 
 V. Pray my lord let him 'be the judge, the man is of the 
 right metal. 
 
 P. I don't care in how many feet you divide the sonnet or 
 whether it be iambic, trochaic, ryhme or blank verse, 
 so you season it with the scintilation of wit and 
 humor, calling forth loves sentiments in a lady's breast. 
 a lady who partialy mourns for the departed lover, and 
 slightly looks hopeful forward for the new comer. 
 Pray be seated, till I have seen the rest of love's caval 
 cade, (he sits). Peregrin Pickle, {he enters with fiddle 
 in hand). Ha ! this is the musical pickle abroad, which 
 I want to see. Now sir, to night 1 want you to sere- 
 nade my lady love, and evoke 'from your instrument 
 the sweetest music, it is capable of; but take care, not 
 to bring forth from your fiddle strings, such tunes, as 
 are homogenus to the animals from which they are 
 taken. 
 
V. You mean Cat's mews. 
 
 P. Even those — they may be suggestive of the passion. 
 but they don't evoke them in the animal man. I 
 will not prescribe to you when you should play a 
 staccato or allegretto, whether to strike C. mayor or E. 
 flat. But let your lyre fill the ambrosal air ot her cham- 
 ber with love's dulcet and plaintive notes, with occa- 
 sionally something lively thrown in, suggestive of the 
 bridal chamber. Pray be seated with your brother artist, 
 (he sits). Master Dromio. (he enters with camera, brush 
 and canvas) I have summoned you here tg take to 
 night a counterpart of nature's self on your canvas. 
 The original whose picture you are to take, is a paragon 
 of her sex. 
 
 V. A lady is all ways a paregon of her sex to her lover. 
 
 P. True/ 1 see with lover 'sieves, therefore sir artist coun- 
 tertiet her on your canvas, as the queen of her sex and 
 as a tit companion for our station. Place your camera 
 unobserved at her window Lattice, for to take a true copy 
 of natures self, it must be done unnoticed when no 
 artful smile, plays on her dimpled cheeks, and no false 
 duds add gloss to a form divine. Pray take a seat with 
 your brother artists, (he sits to eunuch standing at door). 
 Call Mrs. Teazle the modist and madam Sun flower the 
 florist, {Eunuch calls, they enter). Ladies 1 cannot in- 
 struct you in your several arts, as I'm a foreigner in the 
 kingdom ol female apparal, observe only this, to bring 
 such knacks of your divers arts, to my lady love, as will 
 cox forth the cherubim of love, (All rise). Let me 
 then in parting all instruct you to play your roles 
 assigned, as an actor on the mimic stage who struts and 
 frets, smiles and whines, acts the tragic or the comic 
 part true to real life, lastly, but not least, let me enjoin 
 you to season the victuals* of your art, with the technic 
 of your profession. 
 
 (Scene changes to road enter 2 enuchs and 2 men with 
 spades and picks, who make a hole in road). 
 
 I. E. (to men). Here boys make a pit in this road to catch 
 
 the deer. 
 
 II. E. Well colleague have you executed the pasha's order 
 
 and spied that lair christian charmer of his, 
 
 I. I have succeeded, as I allways do, even to the split of her 
 hair, and know her by circumstances, don't you see my 
 men allready at work to trap her. 
 
 II. And by way* of punctation you would like to kiss her. 
 
 I. No I abjured such folly long ago, and I shall leave the 
 the oscillatory part to the pasha, when he has secured 
 her in his arbor. 
 
 II. Good reason why, you being a eunuch, the ladies now 
 
adays particularly the meek followers of the Nazarine, 
 
 like something more genuine, they don't like shadows. 
 But whatoi the plot to secure her in the meshes. As I 
 said by circumstances, and you know circumstances, 
 is a powerful catch pol, if you leave out the 'If. 
 ir Peace ! I say you word monger, h If is peace maker ; 
 but come to the plot. 
 
 I. The plot then is; but don't you take the credit of it, 
 after I have divulged it. 
 
 II. Most religiously I swear, I will not partake of the 
 credit, (aside). That fellow thinks, that he is a wonder- 
 ful fool. 
 
 I. As I said by circumstances I found out, that the lady 
 
 with some of her relatives and her intended had so- 
 journed from great Brittain to Jerusalem on a mission of 
 piety, and while there, her cavaliers making an excur- 
 sion in the surounding country never returned ; as some 
 barbarians or wild beasts had made a sky light in their 
 craniums. 
 
 II. Just as I expected, the mission of piety made niintz 
 meat of them, a morsel for wild beasts and some scalps 
 to ornament the abode of our country men, Salem ! 
 
 I. Allah ! be praised; but I have nothing to do with the scalps . 
 but with the lady ; she returned alone, and on her way 
 home meandered through our city and while on our 
 mart, the eye of our master caught sight of her. 
 
 II And the gaze of that hot tropical sulphur like eye, 
 thawed her icy northern heart and quickened it into 
 new life and hope. 
 
 I. By circumstances, a fellow should believe that you had 
 worn petticoats, and experienced the feeling of the 
 gentle sex under such haluncination. 
 
 II. Ah ! young man, if you have been as long, as I, a tyler 
 of virgin shrines and guardian of the sealed doves oftha 
 pasha, you will have no doubts about it, you will then 
 know all the stops and pauses, the entries and the exits, 
 the prologues and the epilogues, the storms and the 
 sunshine of loves carnival in a woman's heart. 
 
 I. (aside.) Call me young man, after having hammered 
 down 3 score years, Qaloud.) An old crusader like me. 
 ceases to be young, except in spirit. 
 
 II. Of course I refer to the spirit, I know that your limbs 
 are frail, and your bones have become brittle through 
 age, yet your'spirit is ever perennial and verdant ; but 
 to the plot. 
 
 I. (aside). Thus genius is airways misunderstood, but by 
 and by I will let him feel that my spirit is not as ver- 
 dant ; as his. (aloud). She will presently pass here on 
 this road in a carriage, when she thus arrives and passe* 
 
over (points to pit,) this pit, one of the wheels will sink 
 down into it and the carriage will then keel over, we 
 run to the rescue, and the ladies journey is thereby de- 
 layed. 
 
 i L Par excellence — now f see it all. 
 
 I. Pray don't take the credit of it. Thus she will again 
 return to the hotel nntill the next train leaves for Great 
 Brittain, the Pasha in the mean time will send her an 
 
 invitation, accompanied with presents, to visit the harem, 
 thus her curiosity will be excited to view the splendor 
 of the seraglio, which sight is seldom accorded to the eyes 
 of christian dogs. When lie has her thus once in the 
 seraglio, then good by butterfly and ring the curtain 
 down. 
 
 ( Workmen now cover pit over). 
 
 II. Just as I expected, a fly within the spider's web is 
 powerless. But colleague see here, these crude dissem- 
 blers cover up their track. 
 
 I. It is their business. Thus it is the world over, things 
 are not what they seem, and the sole business of most 
 people is to dig pits for their brother man to tall into. 
 
 II. And sometimes they fall in them selves, but look the 
 work is done. 
 
 ( Workmen take their utensils and exeunt, while II. 
 eunuch looks out, the rattling of an approaching carriage 
 and the snapping of the whip and the driver's ye ho I is 
 heard). 
 II. They are coming — now quick lets be of and watch them at 
 yon corner, and then rush forward apparently to assist 
 them, when the carriage wheel sinks into the pit. 
 
 (All exeunt at L. while at R. passes over stage a car- 
 riage with 2 ladies in it, [Beatrice and Suesie her chamber 
 maid), wheel of carriage sinks in hole and it careens to 
 one side ladies shriek and tumble out, while the 2 eunuchs 
 rush in and help^ them. Beatrice limps a little, carriage 
 wheel f 'alls off.*) 
 13. Most unfortunate, I did'nt dream of being just capsized 
 
 here in the city of the celestials. 
 S. How is your lady ship ? I came luckily of with a sprain 
 
 of the ankle. 
 B. O Snssie ! I think, I am not seriously hurt, but this will 
 compel! us to stay a couple of days longer here among 
 the turks, (to eunuch), Conduct us to the hotel de Ville. 
 (Eunuchs take baggage, driver is fixing carriage.) 
 E. We will send for the blacksmith to fix the carriage. 
 (All exeunt except driver'). 
 
 End of Scene. 
 
Scene. II. — The hotel. At the opening of the scene, is seen 
 the photographer with camera at outside of hotel parlor 
 taking pictures of Beatrice and Sussie who are in it. Be- 
 fore scene opens is heard the ?nusic of the fiddle, and the 
 opening of scene finds fiddler standing out side of parlor 
 door fiddling a fantasie. Also stands there the the modist 
 with turkish dresses , florist with boquet and poet with rolls 
 of paper. Hotel office is full of people, all appear conver- 
 sing. 
 
 B. Well Sussie, we are moving along here in this heathen 
 city rather swimmingly, only a few days here and anV 
 ready getting serenaded. 
 
 S. I rather like it it here, those heathens have more lovable 
 qualities, then I expected at first. 
 
 B. I wonder what swain can it be that has alllready been 
 smitten with my charms and serenades me O nights. 
 
 S. I think it must be that turkish officer who scanned you so 
 closely, while we were strolling on the mart. Perhaps 
 some pasha has set his cap lor you. 
 
 B. He may as well set his cap' for somebody else, as it 
 dose'nt behoof me right on the heel of the loss of my 
 lover in the holy land to value the smiles of another. 
 
 S. There is your lady-ship on the wrong track, dead is 
 stone dead" let us enjoy the living, [aside). I would not 
 throw r away any offer — nay not me, {aloud). But hark 
 that music is bewitching, it is the prelude of a budding 
 love a fair. 
 
 B. . I would like my self to see my adorer for curiosity sake 
 
 8. [aside). Curiosity — yes curiosity, a woman sometimes 
 marries for curriosity, [aloud). But pray don't chide him, 
 let occassionally fall a sweet glance on him from your 
 captivating eyes, for you know the saying, 4. While in Home 
 do as roman do" that means while with turks, reject 
 no turkish offer. 
 
 B. Sussie you are a wild roving bee, you suck the honey 
 from every masculine flower. But yet I must confess, 
 this is sweet music, I wonder whether that lover's face 
 is as sweet too. 
 
 B. Perhaps bearded like a goat. 
 
 B. Ah Sussie the longer a man's beard, the more we ladies 
 doat on him. 
 
 S. [aside), Not me — I don't like a man haired all over like 
 a buffalo rope, [aloud). I like the beausuoly after they 
 are shaved. 
 
 B. But Sussie, you don't know what is good for you ; besides 
 after marriage you can shave your husband as much as 
 you please, the law allows if, [Poet rings door bell). 
 Quick Sussie, I ween that the forruner ot Dan Cupid has 
 arrived, pray you counterteit me. 
 
— 10 — 
 
 S. Yes counterfeit you, yea going to the bower of love for 
 
 somebody else, but never enter its portals. If you list, I 
 will receive the onslought and play the lady, but then 
 you should act the chambermaid and open the door. 
 
 B. True — and I wid do it to perfection, (B. going and open- 
 ing door). Walk in Sir— walk in sir. 
 
 {Enter poet, florist and modist as seen before). You like 
 to see Lady Beatrice I suppose, (all nodding assent). 
 yonder she sits. 
 
 (Points to Sussie on sofa, poet advances towards her, 
 rest remain at door). 
 
 P. (aside). A most nomely piece she is and my poetry is 
 all thrown away on a pullet like her. I wonder where 
 the pasha had his eyes. Y^et is does'nt matter to me, 
 I must earn my ducats, (aloud when near Snssie). Sweet 
 lady, if you be she, in the language of poetassa allow me 
 to congratulate you. No fairer flower grew on Holborn 
 hill, than you sweet lady of the rill. 
 
 S. This may be poetry, but pray what is your mission ? 
 
 P. (Gives her role of paper). Here is a message from the 
 pasha, in whose eyes, your lady ship has found »race. 
 Allah be praised. It contains the expression of his heart, 
 with as much poetry as 1 could infuse into it, 
 
 S. My dear Sir, weare much obliged tor the esteem expressed 
 by his highness, but in the country where w r e come from, 
 courting is not done by proxy. 
 
 P. Y'our ladyship — his highness is a very diffident mail and 
 I'm his mouth piece, and he desires you while here in the 
 Orient to do him the pleasure to visit his palace. 
 
 S. We will do so with great pleasure in order to learn as 
 much, as possible of your art, manners and customs. 
 
 P. (Exit bowing backward and forward). We are much 
 beholden to your ladyship. 
 
 B. (To the 2 women) . As 1 suppose you desire to see the 
 lady also, step forward. 
 
 ( They advance S. offers chairs to them, they sit). 
 
 S. Now ladies what can I do for you. 
 
 Flor. (Lays flowers on table). The pasha has send to your 
 ladyship for acceptance, this insignificant memento of his 
 esteem. 
 
 S. (aside to J?). Shall I say it ? {B. nods assent), [aloud). 
 Mahomed be glorified. 
 
 Mod. (Lays now turkish suit on table). And here he sends 
 to you a souvenir of the habliments of our sex as worn 
 by us. 
 
 S. (alide to B). Shall I say it, (B. nods assent), {aloud). 
 Allah be praised I'm much indebted to the Pasha for his 
 kindness. 
 
 ( Women bowing and going, 1st to 2nd woman). 
 
— 11 — 
 
 F. The pasha is a fool for wasting his gifts on such a Biddy. 
 
 M. She is a Hussy — what a big foot she has, {exeunt). 
 
 B. Without flattery — That music is realy sweet. 
 
 S. He is playing now a dance, we may as well take advantage 
 of such good look, and have a dance all to ourselves, what 
 think you of it ? shall we take a bite. 
 
 B. Well really Sussie, 1 don't know. 
 (B. takes paper and peruses it). 
 
 S. Why there are as many good fish in the sea as there are 
 out of it. 
 
 B. This is most sweet poetry and here I find a most polite 
 invitation from the pasha to visit the seraglio. 
 
 S. Well ! then we are all hunky lets enjoy all the fun in it. 
 
 B. Well Sussie ! out his good luck, as a prologue, we might 
 take a turn at the phantastic toe, to the measure of the 
 dulcet tones without. If 1 had only had seen the Pasha, 
 to see what looking man he is. 
 
 S. Can see be otherwise, than sweet, who sends such rare 
 presents. 
 
 B. Then Sussie we will go and see him and his institution 
 only for curiosity. 
 
 S. Yes only for curiosity, (aside). Curiosity does good deal 
 for a woman. 
 
 (They dance while scene changes to street. Enter Ludovic, 
 B's lover ivho is supposed to be lost in Asia). 
 
 L. Fate has cast the die against me. While thus on a trip 
 to the holy land, my expectant bride believed the report 
 that I had been killed by some wild beast while strolling 
 around the suburbs of Jerusalem, while in fact I had only 
 lost my way which delayed my return to Jerusalem for 
 a few days. Thus frightend, like a deer, by the report, 
 she starts post haste for old England again. I expected 
 that 1 would be able to over take her here in Constanti- 
 nople, but all to no avail, (talk heard without, looks out). 
 But here 1 see some mussulemen approach let me step 
 aside, (steps aside), and see what the future has forme in 
 in the womb of time. 
 
 (Enter 2 Eunuchs from opposite sides both meet at M). 
 
 JL Well guardian of the Pasha's virgin shrine, what news 
 oday ? 
 
 1 1. Nothing new, except that virgins are now pretty scares 
 in this yer country. 
 
 I. Plenty of them in other countries, but how is your master 
 the pasha, getting along? did he entangle that fail* 
 christian? 
 
 H. Entangle ! I should say so, he got her under lock 
 and ky« 
 But great Brittain won't stomach this, as 'tis against tl e 
 
 I. international law. 
 
— 12 — 
 
 II, Ha, ha, what do we care here in turky for Joimie Bull, he 
 can'nt bull doze us here, 3000 miles away; besides nobody 
 knows it, except us, and we got our mouth sealed with 
 a court plaster. 
 
 I. True — too true, we have to blow the horn of our masters 
 who feed us, if we know on which side our bread is 
 buttered, besides I like that kind of game, occasionally to 
 entangle a fair christian. 
 
 II. It sharpens your appetite, though you cannot enjoy it. 
 
 I. Just so— just so — there is as often as much enjoyment in 
 observation as feeding oneself, but I'm glad/that I have 
 run across you here, as I want you to go with me to the 
 harem. 
 
 II. Agreed— there we can butter it. 
 
 [Both exeunt arm in arm, reenter Ludovic). 
 L. Perhaps there I struck the key note. Eaves dropping is 
 sometimes legitimate and of great service. He said a 
 fair christian and from Great Brittain, that savors of my 
 lady love's indentity ; can it be possible, that she has 
 been abducted into a harem '? Now I must run quickly 
 alter those turkish monsters so as not to loose the scent 
 of them, and great god if this now vague suspicion proves 
 true, then by high heaven's above me, I will run my 
 sword through the lascivious careass of whatever turkish 
 dog detains her. 
 (Exeunt on a run). 
 
 End of Scene. 
 
 SCENE. II. — The Seraglio. Beatrice and Aussie found sitting on 
 a.n ottoman, some turkish ladies launching on ottoman, or 
 squatting on floor, some turkish dancing nymps are dancing 
 turkish fashion, music ad ante. Enter Pasha in State 
 dress, performance ceases, all the turkish ladies run to him 
 and take hold of him — as if carressing. 
 
 P. I'm a muchly married man — away, away ye fool killers. 
 M}' stomach "is surfeitted wish your sweetness. Some- 
 thing new and fresh can only call a relapsed appetite in- 
 to activity. " 
 
 [All turkish tc omen pull pasha out). 
 
 U. (Imploringly). O my Sussie, what shall I do? this turk 
 who compells me to stay within these walls, I have every 
 reason to fear, will also use force to accomplish his 
 wish. 
 
 6. My dear misstress. I know of no escape, except by work- 
 ing on his superstition. If he should assault your honor, 
 I might awe him to desist by appearing in next (points) 
 room as death, the avenger, havingat my side, a statue of 
 Mahomet, frowning at the act. and thus the fear of his 
 prophets displeasure, might hold him in check. 
 
— 13 — 
 
 B. For the love of heaven safe me Sussie. 
 
 F; (Reenter Pasha to Sussie). You may ^fen afi3 ^ t i ' 
 
 «£S)?" W "^ w ^ -^ ****** *& ^ 
 
 SSS?S^ to «- under the 
 meto^ta^lthinitet-aC r harem ' ^ theu forcing 
 
 ^S&WtTlSn^ fee,ing ? and * love 
 
 B - fcSi&J&Ss the avenger of toBM « -— - 
 
 into frustrate 3 S PW^^) ^ufl^f StepS 
 again, meanwhile tfiis inystWfexfJore ( K) '" U COme 
 
 P. 
 B. 
 
 B. 
 P. 
 
 B. 
 
 B. 
 
 P. 
 
I'] 
 
 — 14 — 
 
 (Reenter Sussie, Beatrice throws herself on sofa, sob- 
 bing. 
 
 S. Why dear mistress so desponding ? Light may yet 
 dawn on our darkness. 
 
 B. For god's sake Sussie what can I do to escape, this 
 inhuman brute, he will soon return and use force'. 
 
 S. I procured and have in the anteroom' that eunuchs' 
 dress. 
 
 B. Quick bring it iu. 
 
 (She goes and returns with it and also a beard, which J5. 
 outs on in view of audience). 
 
 I'm desperate for no man of valiant clay shall force me, 
 I must escape out of this Platonic hell br else take my 
 worthies life away, as I shall remain true to Ludovic, 
 my lover whose spirit seems even now to hover around 
 me. 
 
 S. (going out). Now quick be ready, I will watch at the 
 postern gate. 
 
 (Exit at R. afterwhich B. is dressed and exit at R. 
 while at L. enters a eunuch). 
 
 E. Another sell of myself going out there, (looking around) 
 and the fair christian gone? that looks suspicious, I must 
 make quick time to see who that spuck is. 
 
 (Runs out R. and, returns in few moments dragging 
 Beatrice in she resisting , eunuch's dress and beard partialy 
 torn off) . 
 
 E. Nay sweet charmer that won't do, we have too high 
 walls here, to take a french leave. 
 
 B. You hired wretch why interfere with my plans ? put off 
 me your vile* hands. 
 
 E. (Lets her loose), I beg your pardon, but I'm the guar- 
 of this harem, (aside). Now I must quick lock all the 
 outer gates and inform my master of this near escape. 
 (aloud). My dove you better quiet yourself down for I 
 shall leave* no loop hole for escape, (exit). 
 
 (B. taking off all fragments of eunuoKs dress and tak- 
 ing a bottle on stand or niche near by). 
 
 B. One loop hole is still open, though it costs my life, 
 (drinks). Yet I pay it rejoicingly to'safe my honor, and 
 an unsullied heart for Ludovic/ my heart's idol, though 
 not married to him in life, I will be so in dead, when 
 our soul's earthly vesture is changed for that of the 
 blest. 
 
 (Sits on sofa, laying head down as if sleepy) 
 Ah ! I feel already death's messenger galloping through 
 my veins ; and I feel as it laying down to pleasant sleep. 
 Come tutilari genii, guide me to your bower of obli- 
 vion. 
 
 
— 15 — 
 
 (Falls back as if dead, still holding bottle in hand-rushes 
 in Sussie). 
 S. O my God ! I fear my dear mistress has taken her life. 
 (Kneels before her and feels pulse). Her hand nearly 
 cold, death does his work swiftly. Oh! mercy what 
 shall I do ? (takes bottle and examines it). G-lory ! glory ! 
 be to the allmighty, I may be able yet to safe her, In 
 the hury to escape the muWilman-s* embrace she has 
 mistaken the bottle and instead of poison she has taken 
 an anaesthetic, which I bought a few days ago as a 
 pain killer. This will make her sleep 2 days, (puts 
 bottle in her pocket and takss another bottle from stand or 
 niche which she puts in B's hand). Xow this bottle of nitric 
 acid, I will put in her hand, now when the pasha and 
 his host come, they will think her stone dead, as the 
 stuff she has now in hand would have killed a horse. In 
 the meantime I will devise some means to rescue her 
 from the tomb. 
 (Gets up ivhile pasha, eunuchs etc. rush in). 
 P. By Allah and Mahomet his prophet she is dead. 
 S. (Puts apron to face crying). Yes caused by your cruel 
 
 conduct, she has poisoned herself. 
 P. Peace, I say you serf. 
 
 S. (Defiant). I won't keep my peace I'm also a brittish 
 subject and our flag will yet respond to this outrage. I 
 say you lust full barbarians have killed her, killed the 
 sweet innocent flower stone dead. 
 P. Put her out and let all depart. 
 
 (They put S. out and all exeunt except P. he kneels 
 before B. and takes bottle out of hand). 
 P. (To bottle). Thou nimble footed destroyer of life has 
 withered this flower which I was about to pluck. Man 
 is goaded on by some unknown power which shapes his 
 end. Thou lifeless clay was taught, when the subtile 
 spirit yet pervaded they form, theholiness of sacrificing 
 thy soul and body to' monogamy. While the climate, 
 religion, manners, morals and education of my country 
 have bred into my flesh and bones, poly gamy, and has 
 mirrored before my mind that even the happiness of the 
 here after consists' of a great celestial seraglio. Thou 
 blanched form, still beautiful in death, which dids 
 awake my passion, has almost persuaded me to become 
 a christian. The aminal love I had first for you, has 
 now become serene, spiritual and sublime, (kisses her, 
 music adante in rear). One parting kiss before the tomb, 
 enshrowds thee, (risiny and going). Thine inage has 
 been moulded here. 
 
 (Points to his breast and exit. Scene changes to street. 
 Time night enter Ludovic). 
 
— 16 — 
 
 L. This must be the spot where Sussie, my Beatrice faith- 
 full waiting woman, promised to meet me. My worst 
 suspicion have been verified, the objeet of my devotion, 
 is in a pasha' s grasp, and worse than that, she has 
 poisoned herselt to tiy the ills that threatened her, yet as 
 fortune willed it, by mistake she took an anasthetic, 
 from which effects she will awake to night in her 
 tomb, (looks out). But who comes here? Thank ye, 
 ye gods, 'tis Sussie, (enter £). 
 
 S. My'dear master I'm glad to have found you at last. 
 
 L. {Shakes hands). First one word and it will lift a load 
 from my burdened soul. Is Beatrice safe? 
 
 S. O my ? I have consulted a whole army of disciples of 
 Esculapius, and I know the hour, nay the spot on 
 the dial where the minute hand will be. when from the 
 effect of and over dose of an anasthetic she will awake. 
 
 L. Nay come to the point, at what time will Beatrice 
 awake. 
 
 S. This very night at the stroke of 12, it is so recorded in 
 Copernicus. 
 
 Lu If it proves true, I'm thy life long debtor ; but is every 
 thing ready? no suspicion floating in the aii\as to the 
 fatal phial and our projected rescue. 
 
 8. All is quiet in the harem, the other pasha's wiwes are 
 rejoicing at your lady's tragic end and at the pasha's 
 discomfiture* in not securing another new blown rose 
 for his harem. 
 
 L. The infidel dog. Ah ! I'm glad, the time is soon at 
 hand when the crescent will be supplanted by the 
 cross. 
 
 S. Since this tragic event, the pasha has rather become 
 moody and pensive, and during day frequently strolls 
 pass her tomb, hands folded, head bend, as if offering 
 his orisin to the supposed dead lady. 
 
 L. I would like to make mintz meat out of him. 
 
 S. He is a man, who with all his faults breded into him by 
 customes and education, has still some nobler parts. 
 His first overture to the lady was born of passion, which 
 has now T been- transformed* into the higher sentiments 
 of pure love. 
 
 (L. walking up and down, punching his hat). 
 
 L. For this very thing I would cut his heart out. 
 
 S. Not so lieree, dear master we might be o'er heard, be- 
 sides it is not good to sit in glass houses. In short 1 
 have shipped all our baggage,"and when to night, god 
 safe us we get Beatrice from the tomb , safe restored to 
 life. 
 
 L* Blessed moment when my all will be restored to my 
 perturbed heart. 
 
— 17 — 
 
 S. I say then, that we better take the train which at said 
 hour passes hard by the tomb, to safe us from pursuers. 
 
 L. Saves t thou pursuers? 
 
 S* Aye ! as soon as these turks will find out, that we had 
 out generated them, and taken away an intended 
 Mahomet's bride, they will pursue us with a vengeance. 
 
 L. Wilt thou then be tliere and hold the lantern? while I 
 force the door of the tomb to get mine own. 
 
 S. Aye ! punctual, for with my mistress I will live and die 
 but you come better armed in case of emergency, to 
 prevent intruders to frustrate our purpose. 
 
 L. Well said heroic soul ; but depend on it, I will be armed 
 to the teeth, and come in the armor of a knight of the 
 crusade, and whoever will wrench her dead or lite from 
 this (points) breast, must do it when it beats no more. 
 
 S. Pray not so loud I'm afraid the night lias ears. 
 
 L. If thus then ever thing speeds well, lets walk to arrange 
 matters to safe ends, (exeunt). 
 
 End of Scene. 
 
 Scene IV. The mausoleum and mosque. Enter pasha, and 
 boy carrying lantern, stops at entrance, stage dark. 
 
 P. Boy dids thou not hear unearthly noises and see phan- 
 tastic shapes whirl through the air, as we passed yonder 
 (poiyits rear) palisade. 
 
 B. Nothing master. 
 
 P. (aside). A horrible dream waked me up, I saw the 
 dead alive amid a myriad of ghosts, hobgobblins, and 
 fairies, (aloud). And*you are sure 'twas nothing — your 
 eyes wide open. 
 
 B. Nothing master — my eyes as wide open as a barn door. 
 
 P. (aside). As slumber would not close my eyelids, so 
 I'm goaded on to come and see the remains of that fair 
 christian within the tomb near by, (aloud). Well hoy — 
 I'm sorry to have taken you from your slumber ; but 
 lead on to the tomb it cannot be far of, the night is dark 
 as often is the mind. 
 
 B. {both going slow). It would then be good to hang a 
 window into the mind, or light it up with a candle. 
 
 P. Peace you little rogue, I'm not in the mood for jocking. 
 
 B. (at tomb). Here master, here we are. 
 
 P. (takes out kies, opens door, says). You go to (poi?its) 
 yonder point and wait, while I examine into the burden 
 of my dream, (boy exit). One parting look more, beforo 
 the conqueror worm, who makes king and beggar like, 
 has marred that beauty, which sets man's soul ablaze. 
 
 (Now door of tomb opens reveals B. in coffin and a 
 stream of light from tomb comes on stage, P. kneels before 
 her in entrance of tomb). 
 
— 18 — 
 
 P. I see thou still defies the destroyer death, to tarnish thy 
 fair tabernacle, still thou bears the semblance of being 
 steeped in pleasant sleep. Perchance the poisonous cup 
 which made thy spirit fly, will preserve unblemished 
 its earthly vesture. The love I bear thee now is more 
 due for thy noble proud son], than for £hy fairy form, 
 (rises and closes door) . Farewell, farewell — 'Cross the 
 river styx, perchance we meet again, (to boy). Ho! 
 boy lets return to our couch for rest. 
 
 (Exit at R. music in rear awhile, moon disappears, then 
 enter at L. Sussie carrying lantern and basket and 
 Ludovic in armor, sword at side, carrying a prying bar, 
 music stops). 
 
 S. A dreadful dark nteht master. 
 
 L. The darkness of the night has left no shade upon my 
 mind ; the business of the hour has lid up my soul ; but 
 we must be near the place. 
 
 S. (points). Here is my mistress tomb, (at tomb now, a bugle 
 is heard in rear). What does this martial music mean ? 
 at this hour of the night. 
 
 L. It comes from a garrison of turkish soldiers stationed 
 hard by here, announcing the arrival of the patrol,(/oo£s 
 on watch). But 'tis time to break the door, for 12 o'clock 
 is coming on apace. 
 
 S. When my dear mistress will awake. 
 
 L. To that 1 say amen, and hope that we will soon finish 
 the business before the grand patrol will pass this way. 
 
 S. Then quick master—for god's sake, that we may escape 
 before the blood hounds come. 
 
 L. For my sake I court these things, and would like to 
 make some of them a head shorter, but for your and 
 your mistress sake, I will hurry up, (prys door open). 
 You are sure, that shortly after 12, the train for Italy 
 will arrive, 
 
 S Aye ! 5 minutes after the stroke of 12, as recorded by the 
 time table. 
 
 (Door opens, light fashes onstage, he rushes in tomb, 
 kneels before her, Sussie remains at entrance). 
 
 L. Oh ! my angel do we thus meet again, here at the final 
 resting place, where the weary heart ceases to beat; No 
 power in hell shall wrest thee more from this (j)oint) 
 breast. Let me press thee to my bosom. 
 
 S. Not yet master— not yet— wait till the struck of 12. 
 Escuiapius so advised, as else she might not revive. 
 
 L. (looks on watch'). The time is at hand, the dial points 
 at the fated hour. 
 
 (A gong in rear novj strikes 12, at the last stroke BeatHce 
 shakes and utters, a faint cry while bell in her hand rings, 
 she is about falling forward when he grasps her in his 
 
— 19 — 
 
 arms. Bugle sound in rear is now heard again. Sussie 
 looks out. 
 S. Quick master the soldiers are coming. 
 
 QHe brings her out, and he and Sussie retreating to L. 
 while at R. enters pasha in uniform and sword at side.) 
 P. Ah ! my portentions vision was then not all a dream • 
 she lives, and is in the arms of a christian dog, hell and 
 fury. 
 L. Aye a christian, ijbothdraw), and as you say a dog; but 
 who can make food for the carion crow, of the carcass of 
 a base idfidel like thee. 
 
 {They fight, Ludovic having in one arm Beatrice, Sussie 
 going around P. and pocks him with umbrella. Locomo- 
 tive whistle and noise of train is heard in rear. Pasha 
 falls stabed). 
 P. Oh! I'm slain. 
 , L. Infidel dog die then the death deserved. 
 
 {Train now appears at R. stops while all rush on, it 
 sta?^s again, whistles, music plays a charge, while rush 
 in a lot of turkish soldiers with bayoneties, but too late. 
 Sussie seen yet putting her extended hands at nose in the 
 derision of soldiers, vjhileshe, L. and B. exeunt on train), 
 Curtain drops. 
 
 TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS. 
 
 Page 2, Line 18 make 'you' of 'yon,' L. 33 add 'r 5 to 
 'you,' L. 40 leave out 'and.' P. 3, L. 3 add 'r' to 'you,' L. 27 
 leave out 'as then,' L. 44 leave out 'are.' P. 4, L. 24 leave out 
 'this,' L. 31 omit 's' in 'belongs, 1 L. 43 'fiddler,' for 'fiddlers. ! 
 P. 5, L. 4 add 'the door,' after 'at' P. 6, L. 23 insert [.] 
 after 'sits,' L* 29 make 'coax,' for 'cox,' L. 36 make 'eunuch 1 
 for 'enuch,' L. 47 omit 'the.' Page 7, L. 6 after -is' add 'a.' 
 P. 8, L. 40 add 'f to k of.' P. 9, L. 15 omit T in 'alllready.* 
 L. 27 add T to 'afahy L. 33 add 's' to k roman,' make 'only' 
 out'noly' in L. 43, L. 48 make 'forerunner' out 'forruner ' 
 P. 11, L. 17 add k a' after 'what,' L. 18 make 'he' for 'see.' 
 L. 46 add 'add 'e' in 'ky.' P. 12, L. 22 make 'God' for 'god,* 
 L. 24 add 'c' for 'e' in fc careass.' P. 13 L. 3 add 'r' to 'you,' 
 L. 29 leave out 'or.' P. 15, L. 35 leave out k e' in 'they.' L. 
 43 make 'animal' out 'aminal.' P. 16, L. 3 alter 'e'to 'c'in 
 'object.' L. 24 makes -wives' for 'wiwes,' L. 36 add 'e' to 
 ibreded,' L. 45 make 'God' for 'god.' 
 
 N. B. The author reverses to himself the right to 
 novelize this drama. 
 
 N. B. The author removed to 1202 Lynch Street, to 
 which address. 
 

 *L 
 
 
LIBRARY OF CONfiRFQc 
 
 , iiiuuiinii 
 
 pDITOF^IAL 015 973 258 7 * 
 
 A few extracts from Newspaper reviews of the authors works. 
 
 St. Louis Republican May 10th, 186S, (Ocean Wave.) The 
 author's work is of the transcendental school and the speculation 
 it sets forth are sufficiently curious to catch the attention and 
 sustain the interest of the reader. His poem reminds use of Walt. 
 Whitman's flight in the regions of the poetic unknown, etc. 
 
 Chicago Inter-Ocean, May 20th, 1873, (Evening Thoughts.) 
 We must give the author credit for shrewd observation and 
 native humor and the reader will find in the book an ample fund 
 of laughter moving fancies, etc. 
 
 Western Rural, May 10th, 1873. The book before us contains 
 witty dramas and happy pen pictures and is oveitiowing with 
 humor and genius. 
 
 Irish World, X. Y., January llt-h, 1873. The work before us 
 possesses merits and contains much originality and sparkling 
 wit, etc. 
 
 Sunday Democrat, March 9th, 1873. From the perusal of the 
 interesting work before us, we felt much pleasure, etc. 
 
 Iowa State Register, April 25, 1S73. The author, Unicus, 
 well known in Chicago Journalism presents to us a work of 
 decided merit, etc. 
 
 Irish Democrat, X. Y., February 1st, 1873. The work before 
 us possesses much merit, and its originality and scintillation of 
 genius, brightened up still more by gems of flashing wit are lit to 
 recommend the author. The chapter on chavers, is full of fun and 
 paints, city life just as it is, etc. 
 
 Little Rock Republican, May 2nd, 1873. It is an interesting, 
 an original work and its author displays much genius and wit of a 
 high order, etc. 
 
 Chicago Pilot, July 22nd, 1876. Americanu's, the drama re- 
 fers to American Life, habits, etc. It contains many hits, well made 
 at our prevailing customs, etc. 
 
 Chicago Pilot, November 18th, 1876. We have received from 
 the author a drama entitled "Baronet or Butcher." The work be- 
 fore us is light and brilliant and abounds in numerous scenic and 
 delightful dramatic effects, etc. 
 
 Address the author at 
 
 S. W. Cor. 13t7i Street and Clark Avenue, 
 
 ST. nLOTJxs. nyco. 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 015 973 258 7 *