y * ■« >*> s>^ W **88 HIGHER LIVING that is equally high and equally good. Marriage is the one opportunity for many, when certain very defi- nite increments of most useful culture can be help- fully inculcated and as helpfully received. The significance of this was strongly suggested by an observation that was as beautiful as it was im- portant. One evening, out from the mid-winter snow and cold, there appeared at the home of a clergyman a couple, whose outer appearance showed that their threescore years of battling with the world had brought them little besides poverty and discourage- ment, as well as death of every laudable ambition. Yet here they were, with a most earnest request for marriage. The wise clergyman seemed to wonder at this, and instead of carelessly complying, paused and questioned them, seriously and long, as to their motives, and especially as to their prospects of be- ing able successfully to adjust themselves to the new relationship proposed. Finally, after being convinced of the propriety of their request, he pro- ceeded to join their hands in the usual manner, and then — hesitated. Evidently he could not satisfy his sense of responsibility by repeating any of the usual words or formulae. So, after a few moments, he said simply, " Beloved, let us pray." And what a vivid picturing for the waif-like couple before him of all the unrealizations of their lives thus far, fol- lowed, and how he did pour out his very soul in most serious instruction as to what they were taking upon themselves, what it could mean to them both, what the community expected of them, and what the church had to offer them by way of counsel and com- THE WEDDING DAY 280 fort and protection in all good endeavor! He then closed with an exhortation to be worthy of this high privilege that must have penetrated to their very souls ! Certainly, as never before, did these poor people get notions of married life, notions of citi- zenship, notions of individual life, such as would prove, if anything could prove, to be a safe chart for all their subsequent voyaging, and a means of unfailing encouragement, as well. CHAPTER XXII THE SWEET NEW LIFE We will begin the new love of woman and man, no longer that of boy and girl, conscious that we have aims and purposes, as well as affections, and that if love is sweet, life is dreadfully stern and earnest. HUXLEY TO HIS INTENDED Sympathy is unavoidable between two persons who look ever so little into each other's hearts and compare tastes and desires. c. d. warner Calm solitary days of the spring-time of marriage spread a carpet of flowers over the path of these two beings. Beautiful hours when in every cloud stood a smiling angel who, instead of rain-drops, showered down flowers. Enjoy untroubled, for the time being, O my hero, this refined sugar of life, and empty the dish of sweetmeats which the forenoon offers thee. jean paul And so, dearest, I solemnly devote myself to thee, — consecrate myself to be thine. I thank thee that thou has thought me not unworthy to be thy companion on the journey of life. I have undertaken much. * * * The thought of the great duties which I take upon me, makes me feel how little I am. But the feeling of the greatest of these duties shall exalt me; and thy love, thy too favorable opinion of me, will lend to my imper- fection all that I want. * * * Hand in hand we shall traverse it (life) and encourage and strengthen each other, until our spirits — O may it be together — shall rise to the eternal fountain of all peace. FICHTE TO JOHANNA RUHN CHAPTER XXII THE SWEET NEW LIFE Succeeding the momentous wedding-day come the honeyed weeks, in which the real acquaintance of those who have hitherto been so near and yet so far is made. Before this all has been so vague as to escape definition. Before this the young couple's dreams have mostly been of the vast diffusive order, which, although often satisfying to the heart, almost as often lead the head greatly to wonder or even to query unto most serious doubting. Now, there is revelation and comprehension, each of the other, surprise at the unexpected, and a challenge to accept or reject, at almost every turn. Now is the great acquaintance, the full understanding, to be reached. Said Wordsworth, when told of a certain startling elopement, " So Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett have gone off together. I hope they under- stand each other — nobody else would." Gradually the mystery which first attracted two human beings is now to be cleared, gradually the two souls are to merge into one ; and chiefly this most intimate ac- quaintance is to be made, in order that for them- selves the bond which alone makes marriage real and lasting, ma}' be discovered. For the first time in life thus far these two people are really to meet face to face not only with themselves, but with each other. God grant that the truly distinctive ele- 293 294 HIGHER LIVING ments of their respective characters may be such as not only to justify the marriage, but likewise to con- serve all the patience, hopefulness and courage which are so necessarily required to assure its prosperity ! Out from the old homes, too, out from the paren- tal sheltering, out from childhood's freedom and youth's apprenticeship, goes the newly married couple for their first real excursion into the world together. Up from the lower planes of human devel- opment where the bride for a time is kept on public exhibition, or where for a season she is loaned to admiring friends, custom has advanced to where she is at once taken possession of by her lord, and in his companionship starts upon the way of married life. To a few, this necessarily means an immediate set- tling down to ordinary everyday work; to others, it means a brief " trip " to friends or conventional re- sorts ; to an increasing number, a " tour " only, either domestic or foreign, but of striking extent, suffices. With everyone, it seems to be natural to consider the honeymoon experience as something that will mark the beginning of married life appro- priately. However, as one thinks of what is really implied by " Their Wedding Journey," one recalls what Mr. W. D. Howells says at the beginning of his book bearing this 'very title, " I shall have nothing to do," says he, " but talk of some ordinary traits of Ameri- can life as these appeared to them," that is, to the newly-wed, and " to speak a little of well-known and everyday accessible places, to present now a bit of landscape and now a sketch of character." Yet one wonders none the less whether most wedding tourists THE SWEET NEW LIFE 295 would be able very well to describe many incidents by their own way, or many landscapes or characters, either, save perhaps where something important to themselves had happened, or where certain people had accentuated their mutual egotism by some un- expected show of attention. As " Isabel " says in the book, " There will not be a suspicion of honey moonshine about us; we shall do just like anybody else, — with a difference, dear, with a difference " ; and one suspects that it is just this " difference " which makes the wedding journey a somewhat serious fact, only to be undertaken in the proper spirit and understanding. In just what this difference consists, it is hard to think, much less describe, although we can ordinarily rule out much that might be ascribed to the influ- ence of places, landscapes, and characters. Perhaps we may get help from what Lady Mary Montagu says in a letter about an " old maid " that had re- cently married a rich man " with all his glory," but of whom she remarks, " never bride had fewer en- viers, the dear beast of a man is so filthy, frightful, odious and detestable." But, she continues, " They were married on Friday, and came to church en pa- rade on Sunday. I happened to sit in the pew with them and had the horror of seeing Mrs. Bride fall fast asleep in the middle of the sermon, and snore very comfortably; which made several women in the church think the bridegroom not quite so ugly as they did before." This leads one to wonder just how much of an inkling of what the " several women " might have characteristically recognized as belong- ing appropriately and simply to the eternal fitness 296 HIGHER LIVING of things, was suggested. For, undoubtedly, the couple had accepted each other so fully that no man- ner of doubt concerning the world's ability to stand, despite their self-absorption, could interfere even with sound sleep in church! From another couple, depicted so admirably in Charles Dudley Warner's " A Little Journey in the World," we get a somewhat different suggestion. " In the first days," says he, " she dwelt much on this theme, ' little touches that remind one of home ' ; in- deed it was hardly second in her talk — her worship — I can call it nothing less — of her husband. She liked to talk of Brandon (her childhood home) and the dear life there and the dearer friends — this much talk about it showed that it was another life, already of the past, and beginning to be distant in the mind. * * * Margaret, thus early, was con- scious of a drift, of a widening space, and was mak- ing an effort to pull the two parts of her life to- gether." Perhaps the effort to pull together the life before and after marriage is not always so clearly recognized or so well managed, but it often gives tone and color, even to the earlier weeks of closest asso- ciation, sometimes beyond possible subduing or era- sure. Life has few psychological moments more vital than are some of those especially belonging to this period. " Before marriage," says Flaubert, of " Madame Bovary," " she thought herself in love; but the happiness that should have followed this love, not having come, she must, she thought, have been mistaken. And Emma tried to find out what one meant exactly in life by the words felicity, passion, rapture, that had seemed so beautiful in books." THE SWEET NEW LIFE 297 This brings to mind the fact that many people pre- conceive such vividly ideal images of the person they wish to marry and, especially of the experiences to follow, that not until the harsh awakening itself, do they find out that the real person is a very differ- ent thing, and the experiences not as dreamed of, at all, — a revelation that often comes very early and often leads to results that are seldom recovered from. Another truth is pitiful, too, namely, that so many people, especially women, are obliged to undergo the strain, the surprises, the deep forced questions of the " honeymoon," when they are so exhausted, distrait and unstable from foolish customs that now force them to go beyond their strength, that they have neither susceptibility nor response sufficient for their needs. Can it never be recognized in time, that human nature when fagged out in one respect is un- fitted safely to undergo fagging in some other one or more ways? Overwork, overstimulation, overten- sion, close up until the wedding day, is no sort of preparation for continued unrest, hard journeying, much visiting and unique experiencing, so soon after- wards. Sensibly speaking, it would seem that such momentous experiences would better be entered upon only after prolonged rest has brought about the re- pose and good health of mind and body that are so emphatically needed. With reference to what fre- quently follows, it could sometimes only too truly be said, that the young bride is so tired, and has so little stamina, resilience or endurance left, and yet must nevertheless continue to carry such a burden of social whirl and personal hardship, that very .soon indeed there comes a moment when there is left 298 HIGHER LIVING very little desire for that companionship of either body or soul, which, supposably, is so desirable at this time. And when one considers the sources of insidious division that are sometimes disclosed just here; the false notes that detract so much from the soul music, then and after; the imperative impulses and moods which at this time are quite as likely to grow harsh and harmful, as otherwise; the benumb- ing of sensibility and the obscuration of much else, that is naturally owing to lowered nutritional con- ditions and the poisons that go with these, — when one considers all these, and all that necessarily grows out of these, one would be little less than hu- man not sternly to cry out in behalf of suffering and endangered humanity against all present customs that are so senseless, and try to promote those in- stead which would prove safe and more satisfactory. Indeed, stern duty again compels nothing less than the saying of still another word, — the delicate one about certain people, of whom it was said, " they knew one another too well for any of those sur- prises of possession that increase its joys a hundred fold." Few people seem to realize the pathetic dan- ger there is in a satiation of sensibility until all too late for the prevention of the shuddering antipathy which physiologically may follow. Just a little re- serve here, just a little maintaining of a continuous possibility of fresh surprises of companionship to- gether with a thought of a future which may not be- come cloyed and disgusted, and a most tender re- gard for the natural rhythm of body and soul, — these all are of the vital order which is dependent on strength and endurance, and without which the THE SWEET NEW LIFE 299 early days of married life may become prophetic of unsatisfactory years, forever after. However, to give even these most necessary warn- ings concerning these days of halcyonic complete- ness, must seem to most people about as appropriate as to urge them not to u die of sunstroke in Febru- ary ! " Indeed, did not James Freeman Clarke once say, " I suspect that no one can be a genuine re- former and not be ridiculous "? Besides, who really has the heart ever to obtrude prosy facts of in- structed and disciplined life upon this time of rosy castle-building, anyway? Just as children must pass through, or ought to be allowed to pass through undisturbed, a period of vivid imaginary construc- tion in which a small foundation of fact supports ever so many tiers of fanciful superstructure, so now let there be opportunity, as never again, say many, for full enjoyment of all the luxurious guessing at what may be, or can be, or ought to be, and this with every anxious if well-meaning instructor kept mostly at a safe distance ! Spain itself is in posses- sion now, or else, is certainly possessable, at will. On gossamer lines against the sun are constructed romantic nests for swaying moonbeams only, in which, God willing, shall forever live super-angelic be- ings in the midst of enchantments untold. No Phoe- bus has driven nor shall ever drive the sun, as shall one as yet unnamed. On wings of love celestial let all be borne hither and thither as wish or will shall de- termine. Close to heaven is it all, so close that the music thereof as well as the radiance from the throne itself, shall make glad, unto all eternity. Yes, let the time pass — all too quickly for many ; too seri- 300 HIGHER LIVING ously for some; too foolishly for others. But do not let us too harshly obtrude anything from a world where facts are cold and fancy not overwarm. Back upon this blessed dreaming of the after-wedding days, let it be possible ever after to look at a bril- liance — a color so fascinating — that, whatever may come, there shall always be remembered joy, and, with this, renewed inspiration! The best of life's happiness often has its source in flights of waywardness which no kind of hard sense can ever justify. Yet, if the first sweet madness of married life is thus to be tenderly sheltered, it must be said that it should be entirely worthy of all such risky confidence, made so largely because of the good un- derstanding and hope which so timely and so seri- ously has truly prepared the way. Anything less than this will frustrate justice, in spite of mercy's glad protest, and happiness will be for the day only ! CHAPTER XXIII UNFORESEEN DANGERS A grain of anger or a grain of suspicion produces strange acoustical effects, and makes the ear greedy to remark offense. Hence we find those who have once quarrelled carry themselves distantly and are ever ready to break the truce. Robert louis stevenson Earth bears no balsam for mistakes; Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool That did his will; but thou, O Lord, Be merciful to me, a fool. e. r. sill No human being can control love, and no one is to blame either for feeling it or for losing it. What alone degrades a woman is falsehood. george sand Since when did the truest love prevent a man from be- ing petulant, even to the extent of wounding those he best loves, especially if the loved one shows scruples where sympathy is needed. CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER If we're men, and have men's feelings, I reckon we must have men's troubles. We can't be like the birds, as fly from their nest as soon as they've got their wings, and never know their kin when they see 'em, and get a fresh lot every year. adam bede If he would have held her hands between his and listened with the delight of tenderness and understand- ing to all the little histories which made up her experi- ence, and would have given her the same sort of intimacy in return, so that the past life of each could be undivided in their- mutual knowledge and affection — or if she could have fed her affection with those childlike caresses which are the heart of every sweet woman who has be- gun by showering kisses on the hard pate of her bald doll, creating a happy soul within that woodenness from the wealth of her own love ! george eliot CHAPTER XXIII UNFORESEEN DANGERS When, soon after marriage, Jane Welsh Carlyle wrote to her husband's mother, " He is really at times a tolerably social character," and then, later on, could repeatedly write whole letters to the same interested person without even mentioning his name, one does not need to learn unusual lessons from the future history of this illustrious couple. Their united fortunes were portentously weighted from the first. One remembers the significance of the fact that long before her marriage, Edward Irv- ing, whom Miss Welsh really loved, had written her, " When I am in your company my whole soul would rush to serve you " ; and yet not so very long after- wards, had married another! One remembers also that close to the end of her life, this modern wife said of herself, " I married for ambition. Carlyle has exceeded all that my wildest hopes ever imagined of him and I am miserable " ; and cannot forget either the soul-rending sorrow that is testified to by him, in turn, as he writes after her death, " Noble little heart ! her painful, much-enduring, much- endeavoring little history, now at last crowned with victory. * * * Right silent and serene is she, my lost darling as I often think of in my gloom, no more sorrow for her nor will there long be for me." Re- 303 304 HIGHER LIVING membering all this, one does not wonder at the com- ment of Tennyson's, made, according to Chesterton, when he first heard of it, that he could not agree " that the Carlyles ought never to have married, since if they had each married elsewhere there would have been four miserable people instead of two ! " Said the unmarried Phoebe Cary, when someone asked her if she had " ever been disappointed in love," " Oh, no, but I have known a good many mar- ried people who have been." Granting her witty re- tort to be true, we need not nevertheless suppose that, for instance, John Ruskin was especially dis- appointed, when his wife and the artist Millais con- ceived such an attachment for each other that for him to consent to their marriage seemed the best as well as the only ultimatum. Probably the friends on either side, who had originally brought about the Ruskin wedding, did not understand the insecurity of the bond which they had thus helped to forge, or they would have done otherwise. In fact, no one can predict the final outcome of any instance of human marriage, no matter what first appearances may indicate. Sometimes the par- ties themselves and the circumstances of their birth and breeding and achievement all seemingly point to but one and that a satisfactory result, while actual life eventually realizes something very different. In- deed, how often is it seen that two people, even when young, handsome, cultivated, well-off and starting with every promise of success, are found before very long to be getting more and more divergent and dis- satisfied, and in the end practically ruined; while certain others, with little or nothing to cheer them UNFORESEEN DANGERS 305 on, and with no or little promise of stability, rise, step by step, to the prosperity in love, position, and possessions, which ultimately makes them worthy the admiration if not the envy of all. Why these should prosper and the others fail must depend, if not on pure luck, then on something that must be intelligible, and consequently worth every effort to find out. Often the disastrous outcome of an unstable mar- riage is owing to the fact simply, that the endanger- ing and separating difficulty arises and develops so insidiously that the mischief is mostly done before the couple is aware. One day a carpenter wished to separate two pieces of valuable board that had been firmly glued together. Now he did not proceed at all hurriedly or brutally to do this. On the con- trary, step by step and one by one, did he at first carefully insinuate on every side the thinnest wedges, only ; after which, even more carefully still, thicker and thicker ones, until in the end, complete separa- tion was effected. So it is in married life. The very thinnest of divisive wedges often as unsuspectingly as insinuatingly suffice to make the start; then, per- haps, larger and larger ones follow with their more potent influence, but often so insidiously again that the couple is actually forced asunder, and before the means of the process is very clearly noted. Thus, in some particular instance, the initial wedge may be an unduly assertive individuality, or lack of enduring at- tractiveness ; in another, love of change ; in a third, revival of an old passional interest or development of a new one; or, it may be some strange abnormal fascination, a capricious freak of temperament, an 306 HIGHER LIVING ungovernable impulse; or, slow but sure growth of antipathy, or revulsion from brutal or unrefined con- duct ; or loneliness, innate weakness, loose suggestion, hateful back-biting, or, face to face insult; or any one or more of many other forms of divisive influ- ence. Whatever it is, it surely opens the way, if never so slightly, for the introduction of still more attractive influences, those which stimulate and tempt, which promise luxuriously and dazzle with every false sheen, but which eventually overcome and separate into fragments, forevermore! The married couple that is so fortunate as timely to recognize and cast out all the first small wedges, sel- dom have much to apprehend from the influence of any other kind. Thus we see that some things certainly are, or may be, intelligible from the start. In fact, we may further see that the practical basis of the perma- nency of every marriage is mutual appreciation of each other's worth as an individual, good fellowship in joy and sorrow, an indomitable spirit of pardon, and patience with every kind of failure or incompe- tence, and unfailing helpfulness in all the legitimate enterprises engaged in. Where this is, God does join permanently, and man cannot put asunder, if he try. The true promise of such a marriage as that of Nathaniel Hawthorne and Sophie Peabody, for instance, could not at first be enshrined in the mere promise of either for a very smooth or a very easy life; yet death only could disturb the equa- nimity of their mutual appreciation, cheer and help. Matthew Arnold and Frances Wrightman had many years of separation all through their married life, UNFORESEEN DANGERS 307 and always had to keep on " managing," just to live; but after thirty-five years of such struggle, he could address her as " My Sweet Granny," promise to " scratch a line every day if I can," and praise her for telling him of the household pony's death by writing that she had done " beautifully, just all that I should naturally want to know; and all you have done, is exactly right, and as I could wish." Thomas Huxley and Henrietta Heathorn had to wait seven years for prospects to brighten sufficiently to warrant their marriage at all. But how, through thick and thin, joy and sorrow, strength and weak- ness, they subsequently did bless each other, even unto the end, is the encouraging knowledge for us all! And so it is with millions who have no public history. These marry, and instinctively or cul- turally appreciate each other, help and cheer them- selves on, until eternity itself cannot separate them ; and the world is again and again assured of the basic stability of every right marriage. In all these cases it is Nature that does the most toward insuring ultimate success. As has already been noted, here certain important temperamental adjustments, physical, mental and spiritual, as well as certain predispositions to mutual effort and con- comitant growth and the similar powers of activity and endurance that go along with these, uncon- sciously contribute to make the marriage complete and permanent. Life in such marriages is endured, achieved, and conquered, hand in hand and heart to heart; and what love initiated, mutual trust and appreciation eternally perpetuates. On the other hand, there are many other mar- 308 HIGHER LIVING riages where nature has not been so propitious, and these need most careful consideration. In these cases, there has evidently been no natural harmonizing of the respective fortunes of the con- tracting parties for the permanent enjoyment of their unique privileges and responsibilities. For it is a fact that whenever either party becomes to the other unattractive either in person, speech, or con- duct, or fails to maintain the parity of usefulness and cheering companionship which human nature everywhere seeks and needs, the way opens for in- trusive, and possibly irresistibly divisive influences, to enter in and duly mar or destroy the married life. Hence it follows, that if these marriages are more frequently to result in permanent satisfaction than now, it is certain that some sort of high adap- tive culture must be relied upon to develop what Na- ture has so predetermined will continue to be lack- ing, if this is not done. In this, we may see that something akin to art — indeed, the finest art — has here a function of the highest order possible; and that it may be predicted that the worth and per- petuity of marriage for most people does depend and must depend exactly upon the highest grade of this finest of arts which they undertake or are capable of achieving. And it may also be premised, that for many persons there will be little or no art of this useful order, if its foundations have not been laid in the appropriate training of the parties con- cerned, long before the wedding day arrives. Where this has not been done, where there has been little or no instruction as to the right purpose or right point of view or real needs, in anticipation of mar- UNFORESEEN DANGERS 309 riage, there is every possibility of there being more or less sad bungling as well as dire wastage from the very earliest day thereafter until the irretriev- able end. Where, however, there has fortunately been such adequate instruction and right prompting, then will art as applied to marriage be compara- tively easy of comprehension, and most helpfully in- fluential in daily life. Unquestionably, the influence of this vitalizing fine art is exceptionally needed at certain times — such, for instance, as in unexpected crises in affairs, or when seriously affected by shock or illness, or during seasons of prolonged tension of individual natures. Could we eliminate from married lives the frequently recurring emergencies that are so incalculable and so disturbing to many natures, their safe manage- ment otherwise would be comparatively easy. For it is these, the sudden accession of burden and de- mand, which try people, as little else can. Indeed every emergency may prove to be a veritable insult, either to body, or to mind, or to both. Conversely, also, such experiences are often of uttermost use in welding two souls into a oneness, not otherwise pos- sible. In either case, upon how these insults are re- ceived and reacted to, will depend the ultimate re- sult for good or evil. Hence, the great desirability of people having reached marriage with entirely ade- quate discipline in respect of savingly and construc- tively reacting to every emergency. So, too, with respect to prolonged tension of mind or body. Sooner or later the break may and often does come, unless previous training has prepared the individual for such experiences. The starter in a Marathon 310 HIGHER LIVING race may lead until near the finish, but in the end many fail because of a lack of endurance. They who start, never so gloriously, in the way of marriage re- lationship and its long course may, because of a similar lack of endurance, sadly disappoint, and be disappointed, in the end. Hence it is so necessary that proper cultivation of the higher faculties should have previously been continued with simi- lar training of the lower ones, from the beginning. Good digestion, adequate excretion, and ability to work and sleep, are likewise as necessary and useful here, as are mental furnishing, aesthetic refinement and spiritual nurture. In every respect, there is ample opportunity as well as cogent necessity for realizing the spirit of that fine-art which ennobles while it makes strong. Inasmuch as some people can encounter and sur- vive emergencies with naught but increase of strength and endurance and thrive at their very best on the excitement and variety which come with them, while others simply wilt and degenerate under the per- sistent strain of uninspiring commonplaces, it fol- lows that educators of every class should fully realize the importance of this, and endeavor properly to train young persons for the life before them. As it is, few people find out the peril of continuously be- ing in contact with a non-supporting environment, whether personal or material, until they develop a devitalizing revulsion which may be as full of danger as it is powerful. To such people, simply the mo- notony of married life and home providing and home keeping may become a torture which eventually de- stroys all their fine sense of honor as well as strength. UNFORESEEN DANGERS 311 Said an unmarried woman once : " I fear I should get to be so tired of him, I should explode." This was simply indicative of what is actually realized in many a life, whether of man or woman. With these the mere tameness of " bonded " life is found to get beyond the limit of endurance. Moreover, as civil- ization becomes more and more complex and conse- quently more exciting and exhaustive, it promises to be more and more necessary that the conserving fac- ulty, — the power of being perpetually agreeable and stimulative and consequently enduring, — shall be cultivated. The old idea that if two people are once married, every good must necessarily follow, and that possession of one another necessarily implies permanent security, as a matter of course, will have to give way to the much better one, that the spirit of marriage requires to be kept alive daily by un- remitting exercise of all the courtesies, kindnesses, forbearances, gentle persuasions, entertainment, ad- miration and love, that are natural to refined per- sons, and can be cultivated by every intelligent and energetic person, to their good. The woman of the world knows that her power over a man will last just as long as she makes herself essential to him, and no longer. The man of the world knows that if he is to obtain and keep the favor of any particular woman he must satisfy her womanly instincts and ambitions unfailingly and persistently. In this there is much instructive light upon the prospect of perpetuity, or the reverse, of married life. To as- sume that the initiative called " marriage " neces- sarily comprehends and assures everything that is permanently desirable, is prophetic of failure from 312 HIGHER LIVING the beginning. On the other hand, to know that " Every day is a fresh beginning, Every morn is a world made new/' and to act upon this, is to assure all the permanency possible to the two natures joined. Here, it is in- stinctively hinted that, as Emerson says, " Intellect annuls Fate." Here, again, it is very evident that Higher Living for married people may be much more safely founded on comprehensible intelligence than upon narrow ignorance, no matter how sincere or devoted. Should the worst of all unpropitious days come, however, the day for which prophetic circumstance in a steady tide from birth onward through educa- tion, through experience, through everything, has provided fully for the day of explosion, of separa- tion, of sorrow (let us hope and pray not of shame), what shall now be our attitude, our comment, our hope, or our despair? We have sorrowfully watched the careers of just such people, noble men and fair women, with flawless bodies, bright minds, and true hearts, and seen them little by little lose the fine gloss of endowment and breeding under the rough handling of conditions for which they were neither to blame, nor capable of obviating or permanently enduring. We have seen the nerves of such grow bare and become irritated to a keenness unendurable ; we have seen their moral sense become blunted until the power to distinguish between right and wrong has gradually disappeared, and wrong has taken the place of right. We have seen, too, persons thus ex- UNFORESEEN DANGERS 313 posed resist the tide of every degenerative influence with a courage and will born of heaven itself seem- ingly, and yet just as surely yield in the end. Addi- tionally, how many others have similarly fallen apart, who by nature and breeding or both have had but little stamina of any kind, and of whom but little ought ever to have been expected; others, too, that were born with dominating instincts downward, who have seemed but to float over the first degrading cataract, with never an attempt even to move oppo- sitely. As the conjugal world has thus presented it- self in the concrete, the query has often come seri- ously to mind, " Who are the permanently married? Where indeed are those who will endure to the end? " Certainly, the thousands of openly broken mar- riages and the many more thousands of those cov- ertly broken constitute but a sad comment on our civilization. Nor has the effort thus far against the multiplication of these — legal, legislative, cultural, religious — seemed to have accomplished very much that is satisfactory. Nor will such effort, nor can it, do better, so long as divorce of wrongly mated per- sons remains legally and ecclesiastically permissible only after crime has been committed. That this should so frequently be the case ; that before divorce there must come crime ; and that every aspect of the matter should be so chiefly considered from this one standpoint of criminal jurisprudence, is a shame — a weak, truckling, degrading shame — such as should be tolerated only until something better has been found out and adopted. " Divorce," at best, is aw- ful enough to contemplate, without the addition of " crime," either before or after the event. 31 4 HIGHER LIVING Moreover, just why two capable, intelligent mem- bers of the commonwealth, who find that they have made a serious blunder, which, in any other walk of life, it would be expected they should remedy as quickly as possible, but which in matrimony is ex- pected and even forced by custom, by superstition, by law and often by personal preference, to remain unremedied until, perchance, if not death, then criminal dissolution, results, is entirely beyond ra- tional comprehension. Such an indecency is a slur upon modern knowledge of human nature that should be obliterated just as quickly as the advancing sci- ence and art of life shall make it possible. Nor should the opposition of vested interests, whether economical, or ecclesiastical, or legal, or social, or domestic, be allowed defiantly or fallaciously much longer so destructively to interfere with such a bene- ficial course. These all have seemingly but a small and short vision for the real issue. Their funda- mental maxims have been derived largely from anti- quated deductive and dogmatic premises, and by minds acquainted not nearly so accurately with the results of close study of actual causes, as with the so-called " facts " of intuition and imagination which are really but products of a selfishness that is not promotive of the most reliable outcome. Cer- tainly the pressing needs of the marriage and di- vorce situation of today, are, that every conclusion, both as to those who shall contract marriage, and those who shall be entitled to dishonorable or honor- able rectification of obvious blunder, shall be de- rived only from the most comprehensive investiga- tion and study of all the facts involved that may now UNFORESEEN DANGERS 315 or at any future time be possible. Anything less than this is unjust, unsafe and unspiritual. As conducted at present, proceedings in reference either to separation or divorce are necessarily negli- gent of many of the most important factors con- cerned. Nor is there at present any way of pre- venting this; nor will a way be found (let it be re- peated and in every way emphasized) until such a time as the point of view of marriage itself shall have been changed; that is, until it comes to be intelli- gently and firmly accepted that the real object of marriage, the object primarily and above all others, and subject to an exclusiveness such as will make it the center of every intelligent consideration — that the real object of every marriage should be primarily not the happiness of parents, but the welfare of progeny. Of course, this does not mean that due weight shall not be given to the value of " romantic love," or to the indisputable worth of marital satis- faction. It only means, that, before all else, the needs of prospective children shall be duly and fully considered ; for then, and then only, will it be possible for the " divorce question " or any other vital ques- tion closely allied to this, to be righteously solved, and for justice to be done to all the parties con- cerned. As it is, spite and hatred and vice and crime lead up to the final action, during which course pa- rental demands are selfishly accentuated, while its in- comparably serious significance to the child is forgot- ten or miscalculated. As it ought to be, and as it sometime will be, the child's interest will be regarded as primary; and every legal, or religious, or social, or personal interest that does not regard this, will be 316 HIGHER LIVING relegated to the subordinate position in which it justly belongs. When this comes to be universally the case, the entire teaching as well as growth of sentiment will be strictly in favor of the forethought and just regard for others that provides for the best and lasting welfare of both parents and children, and thus for the entire future of the race. When the vital interests of children are compre- hensively considered, it is soon noted that these unformed, plastic personalities are often found stranded between two wretchedly destructive house- hold fires, which can only destroy their finer sensi- bilities, and from which they should be kept, at all costs. The home in which parents are not com- patible is almost certain to have no sort of clear atmosphere for children healthily to breathe, even when it is doggedly maintained for their supposed welfare. Indeed, the hindering, degrading influence of a divided household and all its fault-finding and worse upon young children, is simply incalculable. This is manifest in their so often reaching adult es- tate with only low and fallacious estimates of the opposite sex, of marriage, and of the social struc- ture. In fact, it is almost impossible for children to emerge from the breeding of such a home with- out being painfully pessimistic and apprehensive and otherwise blasted, if not pitifully scarred for life, — a condition frequently encountered when attempts have been made to hold warring couples together, even where there was evidence of no special vice or crime to complicate. Hence, it should be more truly the business of those who have brought children into the world UNFORESEEN DANGERS 317 thenceforth to care for them, and educate them, and protect them, and eventually to send them forth into the world in a much better shape to meet its de- mands than now. To this end, the personal prefer- ences, whims and prejudices of the parents, no mat- ter how just or urgent, should never be allowed to dominate absolutely, but should be sunken to their proper subordinate place. Moreover, such unfor- tunate people are in duty bound not only never to desert their children, but actually to bestir them- selves to provide for them in every way, at least un- til they are old enough to provide for themselves, just as they would were their own personal happiness satisfactory. If it sometimes be thought wrong thus to insist upon children being retained and cared for by incompatible parents, especially, where by speech and conduct these seem evidently to be unfit for so high a calling, it certainly is not wrong to insist that such parents awaken fully and at once to the higher duty of being true to their children, no mat- ter what their differences may be, and prepare them- selves to do better than before. Children have a right to be as well brought up as possible. There is no ethical abrogating or usurping of this right by any sort of parental preference whatever. Hence, it should be the state's prerogative, not only to see to it that people provide a home for their children, but one whose atmosphere is as salubrious and pro- motive of their interests, as possible. If two people do not love one another they need not, to themselves, pretend to. But before their children let there be peace, oneness of purpose, and clean speech and con- duct ; and, let this course be continued until such time 318 HIGHER LIVING as the children shall have flown to their own chosen environments. If when this hour comes the antipa- thetic or repugnant feeling between the parents still remains, it certainly becomes then a matter rightly to be settled by the parties primarily involved, pro- viding only, of course, that they always have due regard to their full duty to the necessary moral or- der which affects not only themselves and their house- holds but everybody else. Where, however, harmony and decency cannot pos- sibly be maintained in a household, where disease or vice or crime renders it necessary that existing rela- tions be severed, it seems most proper to advocate that permanent divorce should be secured, but only in accordance with principles and practices by far more comprehensive and just than those which now govern such procedures. Even here it should be con- sidered most nearly right that, after due investiga- tion by sufficiently comprehending authority, such people shall be granted at first only a degree of ex- perimental separation for a period longer or shorter, as circumstances may indicate. This, the " inter- locutory decree," not only makes the separating par- ties think with becoming seriousness of the step they are finally to take, but gives them time definitely to find themselves and their true relations, as well as to undertake an arrest or cure of the tendencies and practices and diseases which have provoked to the issue joined. If, at the end of such tentative sepa- ration, the need or wish for permanent separation dominates, then let it be the rule that, whenever not crime but incompatibility or other reasonable cause is alleged, the divorce shall always be effected, unless UNFORESEEN DANGERS 319 crime has become habitual and gross, with as little stigma as possible, and likewise with as little hard- ship as possible, to all parties alike. As now ob- tains, people who are to one another as powder and match often hold themselves together in a tension that is as dangerous as it is weakening, and finally to no good purpose whatever ; and this, simply be- cause of the awful stigma and subsequent hardship that is senselessly attached to what ought to be, what might be, considered an honorable procedure. That this stigma is an unjust wrong to all the par- ties enthralled; that it contributes toward develop- ing the unstable conditions of body and mind in which dereliction most often occurs ; that it does no real good either to home, to neighborhood or state, should be recognized, and duly incorporated in prac- tical life. Again and always let it be said that, when two people have really made a mistake of so serious an order as the matrimonial, there should be legal, honorable, comfortable, praiseworthy means of rec- tifying it, and this, not after the blunder has led to its worse results, but before. On the other hand, where people have selfishly or recklessly gone into some form of legalized vice and crime for relief from their personal strain or hatred, then should the course be very different indeed, for certainly the principle involved is different in every respect. Here, the object of investigation and ad- judication should be not in respect of comfort, honor, or praise, but rather to teach people that law must not be violated, and that whim and passion and brutality must not be recklessly indulged, no matter how deep the dissatisfaction. In fact every crime of 320 HIGHER LIVING this nature which, upon proper investigation, is duly substantiated, has the greatest need to be fully dealt with, irrespective of the circumstances which have led up to it. In other relationships, " outraged law knows no ameliorating circumstance," or at best, but very little such. Nor is there any better reason why an unhappy marriage should be considered as mitigating actual crime, at least very frequently. The lesson to be learned and enforced is that of de- cent respectable separation before crime and not of dishonorable divorce after it. In either case, whether before or after crime, the particular adjudication of matrimonial disaffection should depend distinctly upon a fundamental fact, namely, upon the fact of progeny, or otherwise. If there be no children, then any sort of reasonable con- dition or agreement should be allowed to determine the final decree ; for, evidently, the adults chiefly concerned should be presumed to know their own per- sonal wants and needs. But if there be children, then is the condition changed, and so radically that judgment should exclusively have reference to their helpless involvement. In such cases, as has been al- ready said, no decree or separation should be al- lowed, if possible, until all the children have attained their majority. If, however, owing to parental in- capacity or other total unfitness, it seems wise to an- ticipate this, then the utmost care both of person and property should be properly provided and exercised by the State itself, — the party which eventually must assume the responsibility involved. As to the means by which justice in such cases shall be determined, there can be little doubt that UNFORESEEN DANGERS 321 improvement upon present ones is imperatively re- quired. Few judges, referees, or juries, as these are commonly constituted, can justly pronounce upon the issues joined in such cases. In almost every case the physician's services are explicitly needed ; upon every case the trained psychologist and alienist might be able to throw most valuable light; while there is usually needed the influence of the finer re- gard for moral and spiritual things that the clergy- man is supposed to have. In fact, no decree of abso- lute divorce, especially where children are involved, should ever be granted, except at the hand of a court composed of jurist, alienist, physician or surgeon and ecclesiast, sitting in as much retirement as pos- sible. Publicity does not enough deter others from such procedures to compensate for the serious fact that it tends to render these commonplace and un- deterrent, as well as to vitiate the atmosphere of home and person, and even to fascinate to irritative activity those who thus become unduly familiar with such matters. In the golden days, when love shall truly initiate, when intelligence shall adequately prepare, when un- derstanding shall enable forbearance and righteous endurance, and when determination shall elevate rather than pull down, shall bind closer rather than work division, then, let us trust, will separations be but for a day only, with the more satisfactory mor- row always assured; and marriage shall come uni- versally to be regarded as truly the divines t institu- tion on earth! CHAPTER XXIV PERSONAL FREEDOM An evil action only makes the path for other evil acts ; evil thoughts uncontrollably drag out along that path. LEO N. TOLSTOI You cannot change ancestral feelings of what is right and wrong without what is radically soul-murder. R. L. STEVENSON If we would learn something of the Infinite, we must not sit idly repeating the formulas of other men and other days, but must gird up our loins anew and dili- gently explore on every side that finite realm through which still shines the glory of an ever present God for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear. JOHN FISKE It is in its readjustment into changed conditions of life and new views of the world that a people's faith best betrays whither its face is really set. That which conditions it then becomes the background against which we measure it. benj. ide wheeler Train your common sense and let the windy analysis pertaining to problems alone. Gertrude atherton Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. holy bible When everything is in its right place within us, we ourselves are in equilibrium with the whole work of God. H. F. AMIEL CHAPTER XXIV PERSONAL FREEDOM The hardest and in some respects the most equivo- cal of all the battles fought, and yet to be fought, is that for freedom of body, mind, and soul. In so many ways, however, is the human personality pre- determined and constantly modified by forces and barriers without and within, that anything like suffi- cient freedom seems an utter impossibility. Indeed, notwithstanding all that the nineteenth and twentieth centuries have done, all that liberal theology is do- ing, all that emancipation of slave and woman and child means, all that bold demands for release of uni- versal human nature and its inherent, inalienable rights point to, — all that these promise, yet how much progress, comparatively speaking, remains to be made in this important field of human achieve- ment. It is still as common to find the present gen- eration devoted to what Bacon denominated Idola, " false divinities," as it was in his own time, three hundred years ago. True, we have become emanci- pated from many of the Idola that were then most tyrannical impostors upon the freedom of man. But we have our own tyrants, just as truly, those before whom we bend in just as sycophantic worship, and before whose judgments, anticipated or actual, we quake unto our very heart ! Some of these tyrannical Idola we find strongly 325 826 HIGHER LIVING enthroned in our modern homes ; and their demands often annoy and hinder and exhaust us beyond en- durance. Especially is this seen in respect of women; but children and men are not far behind in suffering from the burdens which are thus ruthlessly and unreasonably imposed. The fact is, the modern home, laud it as we may, guard it as it deserves, and hope all things for it as we should, is latterly fast coming to be a place where little rest or peace, scarcely any inspiration or contentment, and all but no security, are to be found. Instead of being sub- ject to a dominant well-meaning will, it has suc- ceeded in becoming a veritable tyrant, with satraps as harsh as they are determined upon mercilessly enforcing their behests. No wonder that the mod- ern Home-Spirit is restless ; no wonder that families are becoming more and more nomadic; little won- der, indeed, if so many are found degenerating into an almost barbaric lack of home interest. Certainly a not very far away as well as radical emancipation is here needed. Under the inspiration of leaders like Charles Wag- ner, we are now hearing much about what he is pleased to call " The Simple Life," and the bearing of this upon the problem of greater personal free- dom. But just what is meant by this phrase, it is difficult to determine. In some people's minds it seems to mean relief from all attempts at home- making and home-keeping, to be succeeded appar- ently by the substitution of some sort of community life in its stead. But in respect of this, let those who remember, for instance, " Brook Farm " and its fate, beware ! For others, The Simple Life promises less PERSONAL FREEDOM 327 outside pressure, less service, or less care. To woman it often means easier dress, fewer children, or the leaving of the care of children to others ; or, entertainment by caterers ; or, but dozens on the call- ing list where now there are hundreds. Some men are reminded by the phrase, " the simple life," that their own houses seem principally to be bric-a-brac display rooms, merely to shelter those for whom they plan and labor strenuously to keep " in style," and exhibiting nothing very satisfactory by way of com- pensation ; others that their table is simply a dread succession of senseless " courses," which are quite as apt to starve or poison as suitably to nourish ; others still, that their own selfhood is valued chiefly for being the necessary and permanently providing and co-ordinating center of the whole establishment. According to some minds, less show and fuss, more even stability of constitution, and better general run- ning gear, would amply serve to simplify matters to a sufficiently practical degree. For all, the " serv- ant question," and the complex matters implied by this, constitute Idolas, under whose sway it is cer- tainly not very easy or very satisfactory perma- nently to remain. Evidently, here is a field in which from the very intensity with which its problems are regarded, there is already danger to be apprehended, in that, while the effort to get away from trouble, or to avoid disa- greeable outcomes, or reasonably to be at ease even in " Zion," is laudable enough, there is so apt to re- sult failure that is fatally discouraging, especially just when the anticipated satisfaction is most needed. Even The Simple Life, as conceived by its better ad- 328 HIGHER LIVING vocates, may thus prove to be quite unsatisfactory in the end to very many, promising as it may seem. In fact, let the house and its furnishing, society and its demands, let duty and privilege and all the rest be conscientiously reduced to barrenness ; not neces- sarily will The Simple Life thus attempted prove to be the bonum so eagerly desired. The true simple life does not flourish at its best in a bare or barren life at all ; nor does it in a mere paucity of environ- ment, in any sense. On the contrary, practical life, whether simple or not, ought to compass the advan- tage of the most varied and luxurious environment that can be secured and at the same time be made to conduce to human development. This is what hu- man nature needs, this is what emancipation really means, this is what Christian Freedom actually is ■ — life, luxurious life, both within the home and else- where. For the best of life depends upon inner pur- pose and energizing, in combination with outer in- ducements and means ; as also upon the allied fact, that human nature principally grows according to newly discovered wants or needs and the varied en- deavor that is required to satisfy these. Hence, the bare and barren life, attractive as theoretically it may seem, is practically too negative, has too little inspiration and opportunity, is too little compelled to exert itself, to stand rigidly for a model, or to prove very satisfactory as an imitation. Not haven after storm is the right motif here. But power to harness the storm, to enjoy its many features, and likewise to sail on, even in its raging midst. And this is the kind of simple life that is most needed today. The tyrants are still over us ; and PERSONAL FREEDOM 329 even if we could depose them, being what we are and not readily changed, we would doubtless immediately enthrone others, with the same or perhaps worse slavery to follow. Seemingly, we cannot easily es- cape the tyranny of time and tide, persons and events, customs and duties. Epictetus, though a slave, by proper direction of himself, lived as hap- pily as he was wise. Seneca, although supremely busied with affairs at court, found opportunity to moralize for even' grade of life, and for all time. And so, too, did Spinoza stay himself by maintain- ing friendly relations with the spider who spun upon his cell walls, ever with companionable seemliness. And so, Madame Roland, even with the guillotine in sight, with " two hairpins and a napkin " converted her barren cell into the place for her work, and for flowers that led her jailor to call it " The Pavilion of Flora " ; and so also did she there write her own " Memoirs " and cheer her comrades and all others of faint heart immortally. Abraham Lincoln, in the midst of most horrid war, could tell his stories and play with his children, and be so simple, that all the world marvelled. Mrs. President Grant could sit with her husband by the evening fire, call him, as of old, by his first name, and knit the simplest stitches, while all the nation roared and throbbed with mighti- est political and social and theological turmoil. So does every one know of somebody else, who, in the midst of a whirl of household and social and re j ligious and business affairs, carries herself or him- self with the sweet dignity and command which be- calms and strengthens all who come near. Nor does it appear that these masterful and benign folk need 330 HIGHER LIVING to have their surroundings simplified, in order to de- pose offending Idola, or to lead The Simple Life successfully. In the lives of these persons, then, is to be found the true lesson for us all. Not shrinking from house- hold Idola; not complaining of their exactions and impositions ; not stripping off environment ; not with- holding from fields of usefulness ; but, rather, facing every taskmaster so fearlessly and at the same time so critically, that, there shall inevitably come enjoy- ment of everyone of the momentous complications and responsibilities of modern civilization, and this with cheek a-tingling, heart strong-bounding, and hand in attitude of command; and all, simply but effectively by taking up the walk and work to which we are adapted, keeping within its wholesome limits, and ever substituting real and useful and pleasant activities and possessions for the opposite. Useless bric-a-brac, and all the burdensome care which this imposes, contributes little if anything to life, either simple or otherwise. In many cases it conduces early to exhaustion if not worse, and always may conduce to misery that is not easily cured. Higher Living demands that more attention be given, not so exclusively to lopping off rubbish already gathered, as to the art of primarity selecting such an environ- ment — such companions, house, treasures, church, society — as will result in no rubbish to be destroyed, and will prove to be permanently inspiring, whole- some and constructive, rather than the reverse. In general, this will always require seeking from the first for permanent worth, for beauty, for adapt- ability, for livability, rather than for conformity to PERSONAL FREEDOM 331 the passing show, no matter how great the pressure. In seeking and realizing these fundamentals, The Simple Life will become fully enough manifest, even in the midst of all the luxury that the modern world can provide. Upon the life which has a proper mo- tive, all things, no matter how royal, reflect a vivify- ing light. But here, as elsewhere, it is as hard as it is destructive to attempt to serve two masters. Better serve with singleness the Love whose prime mission it is to make free; for then all else is eman- cipated along with one's own self. Even the Light of Life is not withheld. As Emerson says: " Because I was content with these poor fields, Low, open meads, slender and sluggish streams, And found a home in haunts which others scorned, The partial wood-gods overpaid my love, And granted me a freedom of their state. And in their secret senate have prevailed With the dear, dangerous lords that rule our life." Closely associated with the feeling for personal freedom, is the notion that, if people would only read more and better, all good things, including per- sonal freedom, would develop accordingly. " But let the world of books be freely open for everyone's en- tering," say some, " and the regeneration of the hu- man spirit is bound to follow; and with this, eman- cipation from every tyrant within or without." In many respects this may be approximately true. With the contact of individual minds with other minds through reading, there usually does come a more or less wholesome emancipation from numerous whims, prejudices, narrowness and pet notions. So 332 HIGHER LIVING frequently is this the case, that it seems indisputable that everybody should read as widely as prac- ticable, and chiefly for this very purpose of achiev- ing all the sense of personal freedom possible. Prob- ably no one step in the recent history of the race is more important than this. The intelligent, ready talker and worker can scarcely be prepared for his own particular needs, except through the medium of much reading. Not only to learn what has already been done and to find out what is still possible results from reading, but there are elements of growth, dis- cipline and self-finding, to say nothing of recreation, in broadly reading, that cannot be realized in any other way. To the praise of reading then and its emancipating influence, every sensible person is easily committed. But like every other good thing, reading must be engaged in with discrimination. In proper amount and quality it is undoubtedly helpful. When the case is otherwise, grave questions arise as to whether it be helpful, or not. Lowell is quoted in effect that any kind of reading is better than none. It takes little observation, however, to find that some kinds of reading are worse than none. Many a young person has thus been given word-pictures of vices and crimes which have been ineradicable in all their sub- sequent life, and have thus been subjected to a set of inner tyrants from which no good could possibly come. Psychologically, we know that any vivid mental imagery is apt to be permanent, and this in spite of all opposition to compel a subsequent course of events in conformity with it. PERSONAL FREEDOM 333 " Once git a smell o' musk into a draw, — It holds like the percedents of law." Once get a sniff of literary carrion, and no subse- quent perfume or disinfectant can completely over- come or eradicate it. So it may well be thought that reading, especially throughout the earlier years, should at least be clean and truthful and inspiring to all that is higher rather than lower in life. Inspired by the rise of interest in reading, there has come to be a whole literature especially designed for the young reader, of which untold good is com- monly expected. Some of it is excellent — very good, indeed. Much is a mere dilution of better work, and, generally speaking, is no fit substitute for it, and, worse yet, it is apt to bar from acquaintance the more useful original. To the great loads of in- ane, filthy, exciting, soul-burning rubbish that is now greedily furnished and so greedily read by young persons, only condemnation can be given: a course, however, that serves too often but to emphasize rather than prevent its circulation and reading. In rational consideration of all the present encour- agements to reading, then, as well as the ample pro- vision now made for all classes, the question, what and how to read, has become a matter of anxious concern to many parents, teachers and librarians. In order to answer this question to any very good purpose, certain principles should be kept constantly in mind. 1. All literature worth reading is itself either clean in word and fact, and so subserves its own high aim, SM HIGHER LIVING or else directly exposes what is objectionable in a way not unduly to stimulate curiosity and imagina- tion, and so defeat its better uses. 2. If reading does not truly construct one — that is, inform, discipline and inspire — it is very apt indirectly, but none the less actually, to destroy men- tal and moral integrity — that is to scatter-brain, interfere with real learning, and eventually to con- fuse and depress and atrophy all that one ought to know and practice concerning most of the vital ques- tions that come up for definite answer. S. Contrary to the usual expectation, reading for entertainment alone is not very often of most use. Like any other indulgence, it soon reaches the limit of acceptance and enjoyment. On the other hand, right-reading, that is reading for instruction and in- spiration, is found even more and more enjoyable by almost every one, if only they persist in this practice rather than the other. 4. All good literature becomes interesting as soon as we grow to its style and meaning. The only way to reach this growth, however, is by reading good literature almost exclusively, and by training the mind somewhat persistently to dwell upon what is found therein. 5. Literature that does not require more or less effort to comprehend its meaning lacks usefulness to just this degree. Hence, that which has been " writ- ten down " to the comprehension of the illiterate is not likely to build even this kind of reader up to anywhere near the extent expected. With these principles in mind, it becomes clear that much of even the so-called " good reading " of PERSONAL FREEDOM $S5 these times necessarily defeats the supposed good of it, even by its very quality of unfitness. For, closely examined, it is often by implication, if not worse, decidedly unclean; or it so treats legitimate subjects that it weakens rather than strengthens and misleads rather than corrects ; or it amuses until it cloys, or perhaps destroys ability to enjoy anything else en- tirely ; or it discourages from reading the standards ; all of which leads to lazy acceptance and heedless fol- lowing of every kind of notion and promise, instead of that which is healthy, wholesome, recreative and inspiring, and so in every way constructive. The fact is, in order especially to neutralize the vicious influence of what is bound to be read else- where — in newspapers, magazines, and second-class works of every sort — every one should daily read something that has been tried and not found wanting. Our fathers thus used the Bible, and by this use gained much that their glib children lose. Today only a few are so fortunate as to live in families where the old classics are accessible. These, handled over and over again, and read and re-read, are always formative in a degree truly marvelous. Others have been fortunate enough to hear Scott and Dickens and Eliot and Hawthorne and Thackeray, and the brighter essays and books of science and art, read aloud and talked over in the home or school circle, and to what high cultural end the testimony of He- lena Modjeska, for instance, is convincing. Happy the day, most useful the day, when to a larger and larger extent only these tried and trusty friends — the " five-foot shelf " of standards — and the excep- tional newcomer will be allowed entrance into the 336 HIGHER LIVING literature lists of the home, to become the daily com- panions as well as true inspirers and most wholesome entertainers. By all means, let these strong, in- viewing, logical, artistic, true literatures become more and more the daily perusal of young people — even the children of the time. They will not under- stand them all, of course. But better than under- standing will be the unqualified growth of spirit and the ultimate spiritual freedom that will come from such habitual acquaintance with the deepest thinking, the truest feeling, the highest hope of the literary world. The springs of spiritual freedom thus re- plenished will never clog up. The resulting freedom itself will never prove to be other than an eternal safety and satisfaction ; for any sort of freedom that is worth achieving, must, in order to be stable, have for its foundation, not alone strong motive and equal will-power, but intelligence and discipline and careful practice, and more careful self-criticism, as well. Actual personal freedom is an achievement from within. No scientist can find a better way. No legislature can decide on, no educator advise, no re- ligionist reveal one, that is surer or more easily tra- versed. The summoning of the required courage and impulse, the overcoming of difficulties by the way, the eternal hope that allures on and on, the noting of progressive successes, and the certainty of complete success in the end, all have an interest for the emancipating mind that stimulates while it actu- ates, and compensates while it strives. In order best to achieve personal freedom from within, one must keep clearly and unremittingly be- fore the mind a model, as it were, of the free person- PERSONAL FREEDOM 337 ality whose energizing is always toward the " far-off divine event " and whose progress step by step is pro- moted always by the realization thus far made. By keeping such a model in mind, one tends naturally to grow in its direction and away from every other in- fluence that is not closely corresponding to it. Just as a would-be musician, by keeping his mind on the kind of a technician he would like to be, finds all his exercises thus helped very materially, so will he who would emerge from the tyranny of his personal Idola find himself helped by frequently conjuring up in definite mental and emotional portraiture the kind of freedom of personality he aspires to. At any rate, every such effort from within is bound to reap its just reward, because it is made in strict accordance with the psychological law, that as we set a copy and practice it, so do we grow, whether consciously or not. This is the law of achievement from within, in any sense. In respect of personal freedom, it is pre-eminently so, even as it is in respect of every other element of Higher Living known. CHAPTER XXV HELPFUL ASSOCIATIONS It is better to lose a pint of blood from your veins, than to have a nerve tapped. . . . There are men that it weakens to talk with an hour more than a day's fast- ing Would do. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES Alone, self-poised, henceforward man Must labor; must resign His all to human ends, and scan Simply the way divine. matthew Arnold There is nothing in the universe which accomplishes so much as the incessant, cumulative action of tiny causes. john fiske Let us learn through one another what it is to live. Let us set our minds and habitudes in order, and so grow under the peaceful sunshine of nature, that what- ever fruit or flowers have been implanted in our spirits may ripen wholesomely and be distributed in due season. THOMAS CARLYLE TO JANE WELSH Beyond all wealth, honor or even health, is the attach- ment we form to noble souls ; because to become one with the good, generous, and true, is to become in a measure good, generous, and true ourselves. DR. THOMAS ARNOLD Live with wolves and you will learn to howl. SPANISH PROVERB Men may associate, and waive almost all other differ- ences but that of character. The moral line reaches up to heaven and down into eternal depths. It cannot be passed and repassed. theodore t. munger So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. the bible CHAPTER XXV HELPFUL ASSOCIATIONS It is oft repeated and generally accepted that " a man is known by the company he keeps." It is urged upon all young people that they should chiefly seek to associate with those " above " them and thus to advance themselves accordingly. This is called " legitimate ambition," in obedience to one of the laws of betterment. It " works " practically and is seldom criticized, either as a theory or practice. We see everywhere persons devoting their entire strength and time to attempts to get alongside those whom they socially or religiously or politically exalt, or into the more exclusive circles that have been or- ganized in obedience to the same impulse. The in- stinct to betterment along lines of hero worship, even unto becoming a rival hero to be in turn worshipped, is considered to be one of the mainsprings to prog- ress towards civilization. How far one should be guided by it often becomes a matter of serious bear- ing upon one's destiny. It may matter greatly whether one belongs to one circle or club or church or party or neighborhood, or another. In any case the tone, the trend, the actual sayings and do- ings of the group in which one mostly associates, un- consciously as well as consciously molds one in some particular direction, whether this is desired or not. It proves to be the subtlest, most influential element 341 U% HIGHER LIVING in one's environment for good or the reverse. The body yields to it often in unrecognized but definite ways, the mind is bent by its persistent invitation or urgency, the inmost soul of one is led and forced into channels as profitable or as fatal as any that are met with in all one's experience. This should be seriously borne in mind as one aspires to get named as a member of any selective group. Not only what the group looks like at the present moment is worth while, but what it has ad- vanced from and to what it is progressing toward, is of much greater importance. If the neighborhood is improving not only in material values but in gen- eral respectability ; if the club or society or associa- tion has had a listing that gives assurance of whole- some betterment as the years go on; if the church believes and practices doctrines that are truly Chris- tian rather than mostly pagan ; if the political party has looked to the welfare of all rather than to that of certain classes ; if the grade of social association that one aspires to is characterized by good sense and real companionship ; — then will one's life in its every aspect be bettered, and progressed on its way as wholesomely and as successfully as primarily an- ticipated. Such a prudential ordering of one's life is legitimate in the main, and should enter into one's expectations from the beginning. But there are certain qualifying limitations that should be equally respected and allowed to have due weight. For instance, it is seldom productive of success to be led on to excessive expenditures, no matter what the pressure, unless the character of the enterprise promises with greater surety than HELPFUL ASSOCIATIONS 343 usual an increase of income that will warrant them. Even then there is usually such a large element of speculation, that the risks are comparatively great and the permanent benefit equally small. Trying to get into and to keep in circles that do not allow one to respect one's own self or prospects is a poor business, at best. It almost, perhaps always, in- variably follows that decline and danger and ad- versity and disappointment overtake the aspirant before he reaches his goal. Three from two never leaves a balance in the social or any other realm. Much less is it worth while to attempt to put oneself where health and the ordinary daily duties are likely to be seriously interfered with. After all is said, it is these commonplace matters that tell for satisfaction in the long run. Children neglected or given false notions, work neglected or miscalculated and spoiled, or wrongly adjusted to the extra demands of the " advanced " position — these are sure to hinder the real progress desired, if not at once then not far ahead. Many a man or woman prematurely breaks down in health, not from overwork as is so often said, but from too much and too strenuous society added thereto. It is mostly selfish fools that set the pace in social direc- tions, and it is quite the same sort of fools that un- reasonably attempt to keep up with them. Setting one's own pace is as divine a calling as any other. Keeping to it persistently is equally divine in almost every instance. Especially should one have due regard to one's constitutional idiosyncrasies, especially his weak- nesses and perverse tendencies. A man of forty 344 HIGHER LIVING once told me he dare not go past an open saloon door because of the terrible craving for drink that was liable to be aroused by so doing. In explana- tion of this he said that his father had always been a moderate drinker from boyhood on, and that his grandfather had been the same ! I once saw at a club a group of college boys clustered about the punch-bowl. It was as easy to see which ones took to it " like ducks to the water," as it was to see which ones would have to learn how before they could really like alcoholic stimulation under any conditions. Of all the follies that contribute to the undesirability of so many social cliques, clubs and societies, the one of offering promiscuously under such pressure the cup that inebriates and in the end does not cheer, is the worst. And so it may be said of gambling, excessive devotion to games, certain forms of conversation, and reckless disre- gard for personal safety, in general. The circle that is not truly respectable in all these respects, is always dangerous to him of fragile constitution, easily diverted tendencies, or moral weaknesses of any sort. No circle should be considered attractive that does not promise to help one in the realization of the ulterior object of his life. In this respect, it never pays to grasp at a fascinating but tempo- rary gain, and let go the main chance as prom- ised or indicated by the long years ahead. It is an easy matter thus to spoil absolutely one's prospect for advancement in the direction that up to the moment has seemed the right one. To be deflected from the main lines of one's growth HELPFUL ASSOCIATIONS 345 by influences that are but trivial and shortsighted, is indeed to sell oneself for the mess of pottage that is likely to scald or grow stale. This ap- plies to every one of the chief affairs of life. If one is to succeed in business, he should keep at some particular one until he becomes overwhelmingly con- vinced that a change would be advantageous. So in politics, church clubs and associations, generally. Keep at it is well; keep to it is often the one cer- tainty of success. The business or calling, the different circles, social, religious, political, that one chooses rather early, especially if approved by a re- spectable amount of intelligence and a decent regard to conscience, can seldom be changed later on for anything that can assure better results in the end. Put into the things you are doing, and into the associations you have first chosen, the vitality, the probity, the vivacity, the sincerity, that they ought to deserve, and you will as naturally gravitate to your real place, and as naturally reap your de- served rewards, almost as surely in one place as an- other. The spirit whose office in life is not to see how much it can get out of others so much as to give all it can to assure their prosperity is as sure of success in associated lines as is possible in this world. To such an one every " ripple of the stream of tendency " is sure to bring something of the finer associations of prosperity of both body and soul. And this is the object to be gained from all our aspiration and endeavor — an object that includes fitness for desirable heavenly as well as earthly places, that includes every possible enhancement of 346 HIGHER LIVING ability and happiness and prospect that is legiti- mately our due. Sir Leslie Stephen says, " Men do become commonplace and reasonable as they grow older," and it is to such that many of the am- bitions and strains of early life appear only to have been over-estimated and wrongly exercised. Life should be so lived in every connection that the ulti- mate achievement and effect shall commend itself when the end is neared and hope reaches exclusively to the beyond. Blessed hope that is the natural, the divine, outcome of such a well-ordered life! Blessed later years that can look back and commend unre- servedly the ambitions and efforts of the earlier ones ! Blessed earlier years that have the good sense, the intelligence, the clarity of spirit that en- able them so to project the future that all that is ever realized is thus commended! This is the ideal end, this the direction to which the whole of one's life should be attuned. In such a course lies all that is really worth while and all that is really worth achieving in this life. Upon each step of it, an- gels of forbearance and forgiveness and assurance gladly attend. At the end they rejoice exceedingly. CHAPTER XXVI OUR HOME What is a home? It is a place made sacred by happy associations; it is comfort, safety, a retreat from outside trouble; it is a region where peace shall always abide. Such a home every family needs. j. f. clarke The one thing for men, who, like you and I, stand pretty much alone, and have a good deal of fighting to do in the world, is to have light and warmth, and confi- dence within the four walls of home. T. H. HUXLEY TO ERNST HAECKEL Every spirit builds itself a house, and beyond its house a world; and beyond its world a heaven. . . . Build, therefore, your own world. ... As when summer comes from the south, the snow banks melt, and the face of the earth becomes green before it, so shall the achieving spirit create its associates along its path, and carry with it the beauty it visits, and the song which enchants it; it shall draw beautiful faces, warm hearts, wise dis- course and heroic acts around its way. RALPH WALDO EMERSON Anne's room was more like summer. At her lattice the woodbine rustled its leaves glossed with dew, the moonlight was warm and mellow and a bird's shadow fluttered for a moment in the calender lattice set like a mosaic on the floor. There was a light step on the path, and something like a quail's whistle broke the silence; a tuft of leaves tossed in at the casement, fell on the floor. "There's rosemary — that's a remem- brance, pity you, love, remember." c. w. stoddard CHAPTER XXVI OUR HOME The first crossing of the threshold — " Our Threshold " — into the home — " Our home " ! Was ever deeper interest, happier moment or sweeter sat- isfaction, in all the history of man? Be its floors and walls bare and rooms small and very empty, nevertheless, with what scanning and planning and trying, this and that, here and there, to see if the Home Spirit may not be prevailed upon to enter and prove again if glowing anticipation, out of meagerness, genius-like, may not amplify unto sat- isfaction, and, through the idealized atmosphere if none other, make it the expression of a luxury, such only as the heart's first realization can possibly comprehend ! Nor need it be supposed that this pure joy may be either lowly or shallow. Many a couple has ex- perienced it and survived not only to move up to so- called " better things," but to remember with a touch of deepest pathos, that no other home has been or ever can be so interesting as was the simple, spare, first one, entered for the first time, hand in hand with child-like confidence, yet with fullest prophetic sense of prosperity. Nor need anyone with health and intelligence hesitate for a moment to enter upon the making of such a simple home. To be sure, it 349 350 HIGHER LIVING may at first have but the vital germ of home — love. Yet, in it none the less surely may likewise be all the elements — fire, table, chairs, food, couch, books, hope, work, joy, possibly sorrow — that are needed for the true realization of the perfect home. And out of these elements, inexpensive necessarily, inartistic though they may seem, few and inadequate, but of course to be enlarged upon as time encour- ages, is to come the experience, which, later on, shall make it possible to arrange ampler furnishings into more presentable and more comfortable array. Shall we slightingly regard these beginnings, so un- pretentious, so earnest, so full of potency? Rather, let us be thankful that Providence is often kind enough to let human nature thus early have just this lowly means of learning and enjoying so much, and then later of growing so truly, in consequence. Often it would be most pitiful were this denied ; often life is totally shipwrecked because of having at first undertaken something more complex, with inade- quate training in simpler households. The newly- married couple who can take " two rooms," and, with their few necessary articles and one " article of luxury," whatever it may be, so order them that " home " comes to be plainly written all over its every part, is more to be envied than all the palace owners who can only at best live in w establishments." Vain emulation of artificial grandeur is but a poor substitute for the sweet pride that looks upon its own, if ever so little, and feels itself pulsing freely with the common life of humanity. And what sweeter, purer, more hopeful pride than that with which an intelligent, properly schooled, rightly ideal- OUR HOME 351 ized young housewife welcomes her truly ennobled, worthy companion to their first home ! Her smile gives a glow to its every element ; his quiet accept- ance crowns everything with a glory in return that is often denied to those who are called " more for- tunate." But the making of every home does not and need not begin in such a humble manner, at all. More and more frequently, however, does this make the problem of home-making much more tryingly com- plex, if not utterly insolvable. The fathers and mothers, although having themselves possibly come up through all the steps from humble beginnings that have led to prosperity in the end, have, nevertheless, not been able to impart the respective values of their experience to the otherwise educated and disciplined wants of their children. Nor has common school, nor the finishing school including the college, pre- pared these for any such undertakings as now pre- sent themselves. All at once, the vital difference be- tween living in parental homes and ordering one's own is realized, often as painfully as distractingly. Blunders which " lower down " are unheard of hap- pen, perplexities almost unceasingly sometimes rasp sensitive dispositions to their keenest edge; weari- some emulation proves to be a poor substitute for simple cooking and keeping everything clean; and it is found that " society " does not take the place of home and mutual fellowship in providing perma- nent and satisfactory joy. The wonder is, that parents will let their children reach the point where they must necessarily assume the new responsibility with any such lack of knowledge, skill and personal 852 HIGHER LIVING devotion, as is now so often found. Do not blame the poor fledglings, who, try their best, can mostly but flounder in waters so shallow that they are kept perpetually muddied by their efforts. Rather, pity them deeply, extend to them a skillful hand of help, and, behind the curtain, resolve that henceforth par- ental care shall be made always and surely to in- clude the adequate fitting of every young life for the positions and tasks in any sort of new home to which it is destined. One of the greatest difficulties to be overcome for wealthy home-beginners, is the inborn, inbred, im- perative vanity, which is so difficult to manage, no matter what may be its interference with success. To unduly strive to be equal to somebody else, to receive and entertain as many and as important ones as others, to go where they do, or better, to boast of as good and better lines of acquaintance and fa- miliars ; — to what straining of body and mind does not all this lead, and to what shoals of danger and distraction, besides ! And yet, how little real satis- faction may and does it all bring. Instead, and be- fore very long in many cases, what cloying inanity, depressing weariness, chill misanthropy, awful sense of emptiness and death, are pretty sure to come in its place. No more pathetic sight is there on earth, than the ybungerly couple who have strenuously yet unsuccessful^ tried to keep pace with all these heavy artificial demands, made upon them as senselessly as persistently by others, who, in turn, are even more weary, cold, and empty than themselves. A vicious circle of increasing failure is thus projected, certainly ; and often, with no suitable loop-hole for OUR HOME 353 tangential escape. It would seem as though the social as well as domestic world would with all its might revolt at this senseless business and decree and practice something better. Evidently, the " moral question " involved in this misapplication of energy, is frequently too deeply obscured to be very avail- able for needful correction, and the end is not yet. Yet wealth, be it never so great, need not stifle the home. Nor can wealth any more than poverty as such make a home. Any bird upon any branch makes its own home as it has need. So may any human being make a home out of much or little, and just according to its need. But to do this requires that there shall be a right motive to predetermine that effort shall be made in a direction nearer and nearer to some appropriate ideal; and then, that there shall be power to criticize oneself and one's work, at every step. Having these important ele- ments of the successful home-maker, the home itself not only becomes a thing of comfort and beauty, but a realm in which Higher Living and permanent hap- piness conspicuously develop and persist. Said James Mott, to his newly-married son and his bride, " I consider this a critical moment in your lives, my endeared James and Lucretia, just, as it were, set- ting out in life. How important that you set out right, and with correct views." Simply to look upon the portraits of James and Lucretia Mott is to see how truly this had been so in their own case, and be led to believe that in the case of other people, it may altogether more often than not be equally true. It may be premised that the prosperity of the 354 HIGHER LIVING new home will depend largely upon the attitude which its members educate themselves to assume to- wards life and its various possibilities, and towards the ambitions that grow out of this. If life is com- monly thought of as a goodly gift and choice pos- session, to be carefully protected and discreetly con- served; if length of days, health of mind and body, righteousness of conduct, and a wholesome spiritual tone, are regarded of supreme worth; then will pur- pose and effort and result correspond, even though at times other things may seem to be of equal or greater importance. On the other hand, if rapid pace, sensuous enjoyment, success at any cost, and sufficient for the day without much regard for the future, be uppermost in mind, then will the house- hold status grow to be of the lower order. In either case, the dominant note is apt to be struck soon after the new home is first entered. That this note should be full of harmony, strength, sweetness and lasting quality, is self-evi- dent. The difficulty consists in determining before experience teaches just what will surely conduce to this. It is not a sinister reflection to say, that young people have not acquired and consequently do not possess very many data upon which to decide such matters ; but it may be a reflection as severe as it is truthful to say, that, they all too often seem not to care to learn just what will timely help them. The egotistic sufficiency of ever so bright young manhood and young womanhood is not quite the equivalent of the actual knowledge of less self-asser- tive older persons, who have had prolonged experi- ence of married life and home building. On the OUR HOME 355 other hand, experience itself does not help some people, no matter what their age. Indeed, some of the poorest advice ever given to those who need it comes from older people who seem to have no fac- ulty for learning by experience, much less for im- parting the results of right experience to others. If, however, we seriously turn to experience as realized in our own lives and as observed in others, and then consider the generalizations which may le- gitimately be derived therefrom, we soon note that both the experience and the observation make it im- perative to advise, first, that none other than the young people themselves should ever be expected to assume direction of their home, and that this ar- rangement should continue permanently, or, at least, until gross failure makes some other arrangement equally imperative. No other one, parent, grand- parent, friend, enemy, servant, ecclesiast, or instruc- tor, should for any length of time be allowed to go further than merely to offer suggestions or, possi- bly, partially to provide necessary means. The choice of the home, its furnishing and arrange- ment thereafter, and the selection of those who are to be its inmates, should remain absolutely with those who are primarily responsible for its daily integrity. But this does not, on their part, preclude honest listening to good instruction, or grateful acceptance of timely help, or eventually profiting by all that well-meaning concern on the part of others may af- ford. Listen and learn, accept and profit, of course; but always with the distinct understanding that no one else shall be allowed to go farther, or to any extent be responsible for its application. 356 HIGHER LIVING Meddling, if ever so well-meant, is very apt to prove to be mussing, in the end. Young home-builders should see to it that they manage matters so that they will automatically be protected from every sort of obtrusive, detrimental influences, whether familiar or distant, private or public. Inasmuch as the architecture of the home is a matter of supreme concern to two people and their children only, it should be their most serious business to keep each step in its realization as pure and prophetic of success as possible. While the home may safely be hospitable, often to a wide de- gree, it yet should always be safeguarded with the care that will prevent untoward influences from un- suspectingly creeping in. Especially is this needed in the formative period of the first few years, dur- ing which the young natures have not as yet quite found their true planes of dispositional and other adaptation. A wrong influence admitted here, may mean untold perplexity and suffering forever after. " My house my castle is," is a sentiment, respect for which should effectually forbid any such intru- sion. Nothing can be more satisfactory, as the years develop the possibilities of the home, than to find that the fellowship of good friends and true has successfully and in goodly measure been added to its treasures. To feel that out there, in the wider world, are people who have known the young home- builders from the beginning and who still love them and care to visit them, constitutes a sense of reality and worth-whileness which all else fails to do. As one looks back upon the noble men and the dear OUR HOME 357 women who have successively or together lighted up the hearth with the brightness that shines alone from friendship's countenance, one realizes that not only have these made life very chiefly worth while, but that, had the number been greater, so much the more worth-while would life and all its fortunes have been. A golden rosary of tried and true friends is goodly to think upon, as well as by which to check off the steps towards one's highest self-realization. To begin home life, then, with this ever in view, that, as real friend after real friend shall be admitted to the circle, they shall be held with the sacred close- ness which no ill-fortune shall be allowed to imperil, may well constitute an ambition that can be trusted to bring to earthly souls some of their deepest sat- isfactions. At any rate, the cultivation of these higher friendships is itself such a delightful exercise in Higher Living, that it is a pity that it should ever be neglected or bungled. True home-building is also as much a result of " progressive industry of the mind," as is any other thing worth doing; and such industry may prom- isingly be directed toward choosing the mutual ele- ments which shall not only be temporarily pleasing, but permanently satisfactory. In many homes, even of the rich, there is everything that may stimu- late a passing interest, but very little indeed that can be enjoyed permanently. Thus the different pieces of furniture, although expensive and perhaps artistic, may mean so little, that even their sale or destruction would cause no regret. So, too, with the pictures on the walls, which, if perhaps costty, are yet often so inartistic that a mere photograph 358 HIGHER LIVING of some bit of true art would serve a much better purpose. In respect of both pictures and furni- ture, how much more serviceable are a few choice representations of true art and comfortable use, se- lected, perhaps, only at rare intervals; and how much more valuable do all such become as age ad- vances, than if hurriedly and indifferently selected all at once ! " And isn't it better to buy little by little," asks a character in one of Charles Dudley Warner's books, " enjoying every new object as you get it and assimilating each article to your household life and making the home a harmonious expression of your own taste? " Again, as to books, one has but to look at the shelves, few or many, which the ordinary home offers, to see how little judgment either as to authors or editions has been exercised and how little real satisfaction can ever be realized. And yet, as already seen, how super- latively important it is that proper books, in read- able, illustrated editions, and carefully selected with respect to the personal and household needs, should be thought of, from the first. Furniture, pictures and books should be chosen as friends are chosen, to be choice friends, companions, — lovers, if you will, — throughout all time. What these will do for the higher life and happiness of all of the inmates, only those thoroughly know who have from time to time exerted themselves in this upbuilding way, and maybe have pinched their other outlays in order that the chosen object might become a permanent pos- session. Much like the love one bears toward a choice friend in the flesh, is the feeling that one ulti- OUR HOME 359 mately develops toward all such choice inanimate members of the home. Any home, any person, may consider itself com- paratively safe and prosperous that is continuously dominated by a deep sense of cheer and courage. This is the psychological law in accordance with which we eventually direct the deeper tides of our be- ing into corresponding conduct. If the dominant emotional tone of the home be perpetually low and warring, it is very certain that sooner or later its character will present similar aspects. Fear and de- pression should always be looked upon as timely warnings of disorder later on, and as quickly heeded and peremptorily dismissed as practicable. But the opposite, the courage which shrinks not, and the joy- ous anticipation of life which admits of no real fail- ure, the optimism, in fact, which, as has been said, " solves the question by affirming that evil is the nec- essary antecedent of good " — what stimulating as- surance of ultimate success and happiness are in- herent in this, from beginning to end ! In this re- spect, the great burdens of life — working for wages or mutual interests ; rectifying the past and provid- ing for the future, and for community as well as for private interests ; bearing and nurturing children, supporting old age, attending to patriotic and all other public duties ; — all these are carried as if with wings, and on the way upward even unto the heaven itself! Where this good sense and intelligence serve, there is safety both for the home and its people. And the fine glow of hopeful determination that re- sults from this is worth all the clouds in all the skies. 360 HIGHER LIVING In such a glow, Higher Living not only finds inspira- tion but also some of its happiest realizations ; and the home that is permanently lighted by it radiates to all its fellows an influence effulgent and beneficent. CHAPTER XXVII THE GREATER CONTACTS Who mines or who wins the prize? Go, lose or conquer as you can; But if you fail, or if you rise, Be each, pray God, a gentleman. WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY This above all: to thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE It is the first of all problems for a man to find out what kind of work he is to do in this universe. THOMAS CARLYLE Man's first directed effort accomplishes a sort of dream, while God is the sole worker of realities. HAWTHORNE The duty is to enter the work of party activity and help to make the party organization what it ought to be. The duty rests upon each intelligent citizen in his own community to incite the voters of the party he be- lieves in to take charge of their own affairs, and to sub- stitute party organization and party leadership which is really representative of them in place of the party organization and the party leadership which are main- tained by the distribution of office for the sake of office. ELIHU ROOT Youth is the only time To think and to decide on a great course ; Manhood with action follows ; but 'tis dreary To have to alter our whole life in age — The time past, the strength gone. ROBERT BROWNING CHAPTER XXVII THE GREATER CONTACTS It is difficult for anyone now-a-days to escape the greater contacts with the world, if he wills. So wide if not universal is the tendenc}^ for all the world to move about, that it is almost impossible to find a spot that will not be intruded upon, sooner or later. The would-be recluse must learn to be content with the crowd even while he is not a part of it. The crowd itself is not certain that withdrawal from con- tact with it is the better way for anyone, and this is becoming more and more the reigning thought and practice of the better portion of the world. At the present rate, the solitary for any reason will soon be a thing of the past, and rightly so. It is not good to be alone, except to do work that requires freedom from distraction and interruption. Mankind does not as a rule grow to its best when too exclusively isolated from the common contacts with other lives. Only exceptionally does a Thoreau or a Bronte or a Guy on prove it otherwise. The most of us live our best, think our best, and do our best, when daily stimulated and corrected and ac- cepted or rejected by our fellows. In this way so- ciet} 7 in its larger sense is the one helper of most con- cern. It contributes freely to the development of its members ; it gets its compensation from the de- velopment which it promotes and conserves. Thus 363 364 HIGHER LIVING it is that society and individuals in turn forcefully support each other for good or ill. Hence it always becomes a matter of supreme im- portance whenever we choose to come into contact with men and women individually or collectively, even for the shortest time or the simplest purpose. It matters much more, also, whether we ally ourselves permanently with a certain party, or church, or school, or clique, or family, or with some other. If the tone of our greater associations with the world is high and broad and deep and sweet and upward moving, then will we respond to it little by little in such a way that perhaps our entire natural dispo- sition and tendency will become, in the end, made over for the better. If not this, then will we as surely be influenced more or less definitely for the worse. In the neighborhood one should try to live so that all the neighbors shall be rightly helped and not harmed. Oftentimes our own safety as well as that of our loved ones depends absolutely upon the part we ourselves take in maintaining needed sanitation and moral purity and spiritual nobleness in the neighborhood. Small-pox next door may well frighten us seriously enough, and reasonably; but a vicious man or woman or youth may be much more dangerous, while a low-minded, grubbing, pessimistic grouch, although perfectly respectable, may be the worst curse of all. It is thus worth while, many times, to strive to have one's contact with the neigh- borhood distinctly and impressively generous and uplifting and intelligent. It is one of the very best ways to promote one's own undying prosperity. THE GREATER CONTACTS 365 And so it is with the church one becomes a member of. There are religious organizations and services that serve but to choke every bit of spiritual vitality out of one, and offer little that is wholesome in re- turn. They hang a millstone about the neck and drag one down unceasingly, until nothing but arid unbelief results. Keep away from such a church, no matter what its pretentions or claims, as from the evil one himself. One can never be sure of the real object that is worshipped in such a church, in place of the living God. Such a church may be known by its fruits, if only one courageously scans it to see what its fruits are. Undoubtedly they will look well ; but it is wise to take account of the worm-holes that may show on the opposite side. Yes, join a church that is a church, that seeks always to be of supreme use, that has high and noble and fine ideas to guide it, and has large-minded deep- souled men and women to promote and conserve its fortunes. Be sure it is an organization that will admit of your being yourself and at your best, and that will inspire you to do your best every day in the week. Be sure it is a church that thinks more of the needs of those outside than it does of its own needs. Be sure it is a real light in the world — a proper continuation of the Light that needs to be seen of everybody. Be sure you can help to keep its light trimmed and burning as a sacred privilege, and with your whole soul. Be sure it offers services and doctrines that commend themselves to your best judgment as well as conscience. Be sure it can en- list your whole heart unceasingly in its worship and its ministries. Be sure you can make it not onty 366 HIGHER LIVING your church but worthy of its being everybody's church. Here is one of the broader contacts with the world where one is naturally lifted to heaven or depressed to hell. Nothing on earth is more fateful than the church to which one belongs. It either robs one of one's birthright or crowns one with glory. It goes without saying, that everybody should be a member of a church of some kind, if it be one with but one other member, who is yet sincere, earnest and devoted. It is time to resolve that quackery in church life shall be left to its own de- vices. We have to acknowledge that this is the age of " clubs " and other social groups of every sort, and should attempt soberly and decently to be of them, to some extent, anyway. Yet what an infinite possi- bility for mistake there is here. I once read an obit- uary of a man who was said to have belonged to forty-three clubs ! Yet no one ever knew of his being the better for it — and he left his dependents in meager circumstances. I have known women to spend so much time and energy at their card clubs that they were good for little else, and in time to become not satisfactorily good even at their games. I have seen men sit in their clubs hour after hour and do nothing except drink cocktails and talk silli- ness. Even it is creditably reported that some of the more celebrated clubs have been given to con- versation chiefly about the merits of different vin- tages. The reputation of various " sewing-socie- ties," guilds and other benevolent associations for gossip is notorious, to say the least. So it may be readily granted that not every club or clique, even THE GREATER CONTACTS 367 when known by the most dignified name, is surely a place where one's best interests are helped on or even safe. Hence discrimination in choosing these theo- retical helps, yet often practical hindrances, is in- dispensable. One must if possible see through the outside glitter to the actual material that he is sure to rub against when once inside. In a club, quality is everything ; mere quantity, especially of the popu- lar kind, may prove to be unexpectedly risky. A club should have an object that is worthy, and should maintain the pursuit of this object without serious deviation. It may be for mere sociability, and this is surely as worthy an object as any other, providing the sociability is real and not spurious. Spurious sociability is the bane of the club-room, and is usually founded on artificial standards. It is not often that anything is thought of or said under the glow of intoxicants that compares with the think- ing and sayings of sober persons, notwithstanding the whole world seems to believe to the contrary. Maudlin disgusting sentimentalisms, or vulgar wit, or nast}' stories, or bumptious politics, or plati- tudinous rambling discourses of art or literature, or maybe superficial and cowardly religious talk — these are not elements of the sociability that counts, in the long run, except down the scale toward ulti- mate disintegration. Yet, much of the so-called " sociability " of social groups everywhere may be noted to be rather exclusively of this nature ; when not this, then of the nature of the gossip and scandal and back-biting that kills all true sociability, and, where voluntarily allowed, well deserves to. The fact is, no club can be wholesome in its re- 368 HIGHER LIVING suits, if it is not made up of a preponderance, at least, of reliable members. Sloppy, showy, boister- ous, unstable individuals cannot make a good club, try as they may. Yet in every club, as in every other right place, these are the people — the heed- less, aggressive, untidy of speech and conduct, — who are apt to set the pace, if the better elements are not the stronger and eternally watchful, and maintain the proper gait with undeviating scrupu- lousness. These better elements of a club are known to be such at home, in business and politics, every- where, as well as in the clubs to which they belong. In any place, one need not be a snob rationally to ally oneself with these rather than the worse ele- ments. In a club all are supposably equal; prac- tically, one has to discriminate, and should do it un- flinchingty. A club that is really worth belonging to, especially for social purposes, is one where snobbery is un- known, where mutual good-feeling prevails, where the conversation is clean, intelligent and rational, no matter how entertaining, where conduct is cir- cumspect and useful, where sociability rather than gluttony is uppermost, where the games are played for the fun there is in them, and not for money, where in fact nothing or little is said and done that leaves a bad after-taste or dubious retrospection. Such a club rationally used and at proper hours is nothing but a blessing to everyone of its members. The culture that comes from such an association is the real thing, and like good wine needs no " bush " to commend it. Some of the most instructive and en- tertaining and upbuilding times I have ever known THE GREATER CONTACTS 869 have been within the precincts of such companion- ship. Especially have I noted the benefit to be de- rived from certain smaller circles, where the con- versation is general and the doings equally so. A certain " Shakespeare Club " in my earlier days, and a similar " Browning Club " later on, were of this nature, and of inestimable benefit and satisfaction. A " Study Club " of eight members only, where " original " papers and " erudite " discussions were the order, and a " Twenty Club " composed mostly of those interested in theological and ethical sub- jects, could not have been excelled, so far as perma- nent benefit was concerned. So it is still possible to organize and carry on a club that is really worth while, although custom seems chiefly to think it otherwise. As for political clubs and parties, one is of course governed by his predilections and reasonings with reference to the political needs of his neighborhood, state or country. Here there is less freedom of choice than with respect to social clubs. Here, also, it is more difficult to escape the blighting effects of association with ambitious, low-bred and often vi- ciously shrewd exploiters, who know no purpose in life but to work everybody for their own gain. Yet one should here as elsewhere be so much of a man among men, that, to this extent at least, the atmos- phere of politics is cleared and the real purposes and practices of the chosen party kept at the front. It really would seem as if politics was a game that anyone could play ; but like every other enterprise, the requirements for succeeding are definite and ex- acting. To be a successful politician, one must be 370 HIGHER LIVING intuitively, keenly, observant and polite, must be- gin early in life and under shrewd workers, must be willing to give unlimited time and as much money as possible, must be determined to succeed, and must learn to take temporary defeat with such a grace that it will always reveal actual strength and prom- ise nothing but this later on. Only occasionally does one happen to succeed on the wave of some popular movement that for the time being is in the ascendant. Success is generally bought by the devo- tion and drudgery that involves one's whole being and may tend to prostitute it disastrously on the way. Of course, if the aspirant is unusually large- minded, noble, and far-seeing and persistently active, he may be able to avoid this and command success, as well. But the successful politician knows well enough that this is not the common way, and does not rely upon it, save to influence the public favor- ably. How far unscrupulousness and misrepresen- tation may go in any particular strife, is a problem that many fail to solve; likewise, with reference to bu}dng and trading votes. There is a Nemesis, how- ever, that often frustrates the success of such work- ers mercilessly. The whole practice of unscrupu- lousness and venality in politics is one that fair- minded men and women should frown upon, and en- deavor with all their might to punish and do away with. The buying of votes at so much per head, the trading of votes in legislative halls, the " pairing " of votes even in our " dignified " national Congress, is but a part of a system that substitutes for real understanding of serious questions and due attention thereto, the accommodating ignorance, shirking, and THE GREATER CONTACTS 371 negligence that should have little or no place in the life of him who has been intrusted with public inter- ests. Politics might be one of the most useful, inter- esting and ennobling pursuits known; as it is, one should hesitate long before entering the political field, to any exclusive extent. Yet the best citizenship requires that the best citi- zens actually cultivate the very field that is so full of snags and briers. It is owing to the fact that they do not more generally do this that politics has become so forbidding and is left to professionals so exclu- sively. It is difficult and disagreeable for decent people to give the time and do the things that suc- cess requires at the hands of political workers. The professional politician is " on the job " year in and year out and every moment in the year ; the true citi- zen has other matters to attend to and that are more to his taste and in his line. The politician can stop at no sort of trickery or quackery ; the citizen would advise and act honorably and decently at all times. The politician usually cares very little for the inter- ests of everyone, so that he and his clique are bene- fited ; the citizen seeks to secure the success that may be shared in by all. The politician condescends to anything that gives promise of success ; the citizen cannot stoop to this level and remain himself. The line between the politician and the citizen is thus sharply drawn at every point; the politician bosses and buys — the citizen serves and leads. Nothing can be more seriously a duty than to be a true citi- zen and endeavor to lead the public to higher places political and to better results in statescraft. It goes without saying, that everyone should thus far, at 372 HIGHER LIVING least, enter the political field and play the game as best he can. The pseudo-citizenship of the ordinary politician should be transcended by the real citizen- ship that places everybody above the few, integrity above quackery. At any rate, the interests of Higher Living all require this, and probably nothing can more effectually promote these in the layman, than the substitution of the better politics for the faulty, the honorable worker for the trickster. Every day, almost every hour, men are forced to come into contact with the business world, and are built up or torn down correspondingly. Some men from their first trade in jack-knives at school until the last stroke of anything always see an advantage, take it, and prosper ; the greater number do not have such clear sight and more frequently blunder and lose, than otherwise. Some are able to keep cheer- ful and hopeful, and to grow more skilful no matter what kind of success they have ; others become over- elated with success and unreasonably despondent if not successful. Almost every successful man works too many hours and with too great tension; a large minority dawdle and poke along and blame everybody but themselves for their " hard luck." Some never lose faith in themselves or in the majority of their fellows ; their neighbors get to look upon everybody else but themselves as scamps and robbers and envi- able favorites of Dame Fortune. Contact with the business world ought to be a safe and assuring and prosperous one much more fre- quently than it is. The reasons why it is not so are so apparent that it would seem as if they would be more commonly noted and needed than they are, by THE GREATER CONTACTS 57S more men and women. These reasons in part, at least, are obviously as follows : 1. Trying to take part in a portion of the business world for which one has no natural instinctive apti- tude. There are natural born traders, farmers, builders, promoters, inventors, bankers, doctors, min- isters, politicians, teachers, lawyers, agents, and every other trade or calling. These seldom fail, or, if they do fail, the blame is seldom theirs. £. Insufficient or wrong preparation for the busi- ness to be undertaken. Many are " educated " to be professional men who ought to be prepared for the farm or shop, instead. Many would engage in " po- lite " callings who are boors by nature and are to be nothing else. Others are kept at the heavier and grosser tasks throughout life who have instincts and capacities that would have assured them success in fields more appropriate to them. Others still match their verdant impulses to gain against the sharper who knows what they do not, and the result can be predicted with mathematical certainty. 3. Not recognizing that not only " industry and perseverance lead to wealth," but that eternal vigil- ance and equal shrewdness are just as necessary in order to keep the avid world from getting it away from one. In this respect, the world, especially the dishonest world, never sleeps, and the unwary are caught before they know it. Knowing how to pros- per is one thing; knowing how to make prosperity a permanent thing is another. There never comes a time when what one can do for himself will be equally safe in the hands of another. Better mind thine own aim, and — shoot thine own gun. 374 HIGHER LIVING 4. Supposing that because one is truly moral and religious himself, that others who have the face and voice of reliability are necessarily capable and trust- worthy. Goodness, piety, fine trust are noble char- acteristics, undoubtedly, but even when genuine do not take the place of intelligence and devotion to life according to its own laws. Knowing how and doing it at the proper time and place is the Providence that one can really trust in the business world, and no other, whatever. Prayer never yet took the place of forethought, insight, and whole-sight. Now all these roads to unsuccess are paved with material that cuts and bruises and retards at almost every step. They cause not only physical distress, but mental and moral degeneracy of a like painful order. Hence it follows that to try to live a business life that doesn't belong to one is as silly as it is haz- ardous and disappointing. But it is all otherwise, when one does engage in what he is adapted to and has been properly prepared for. When this is the case, every day is a pleasant one, every new-year shows prosperity, and ever} 7 prayer is fraught with gratitude and faith. The body keeps well, the mind keeps clear, alert and energetic, the spirit keeps vital and growing — " God's in his heaven, And all's right with the world ! " CHAPTER XXVIII GETTING AND SPENDING We do not aspire to the laying up of much treasure. We are endeavoring to let our wants be as few as pos- sible, and I trust, as we " seek not great things " that all we really need will be supplied. LUCRETIA MOTT If the man of the house knew at what watch in the night the thief was coming, then he would have watched and not suffered his house to be broken through. BIBLE Whatsoever shall be wanting of that which thy love deserves my kindest affection I shall endeavor to supplie whilst I live and what I leave unsatisfied (as I never hope to be out of thy debt) I will sett over to Him who is able, and will recompense thee to the full. JOHN WINTHROP TO MARGARET TYNDALL The greedy notion that a man's life does consist, after all, in the abundance of the things that he possesseth, and that it is somehow or other more respectable and pious to be always at work making a larger living, than it is to lie on your back in the green pastures and beside the still waters, and thank God that you are alive. HENRY VAN DYKE Alas, in all of us this charlatan-element exists; and might be developed, were the temptation strong enough. THOMAS CARLYLE Punishment is a fruit that unsuspected ripens within the flower of pleasure which concealed it. RALPH WALDO EMERSON Just as there comes a sunbeam into every cottage, so comes a lovebeam of God's care and pity for every separate need. Nathaniel hawthorne CHAPTER XXVIII GETTING AND SPENDING It may seem daring to say, that as a rule people are better able to get money than they are to spend it properly. Yet everyday observation reveals this to be the case so generally, that rightly directed dis- cussion and improvement along this line cannot be amiss. Everyone is likely to be heard sometime to say, " Just give me a chance and I will know well enough how to spend many times the income I now have. It is easy enough to spend — the difficulty lies all with the getting." Yet, when perchance the increased income does come, how surely to the contrary does the course of the great majority show that, what they have chiefly needed has been, not more money to spend, but knowledge and judgment as to how to purchase and save and invest, that is, how properly to use their funds, whether small or great. The chances are that they will spend their money so un- wisely that loss and destruction and discomfort, rather than safety and upbuilding and reasonable ease of body and mind, will surely follow. They will be exceptional to the crowd, if sore disappointment and dire discomfort do not come to them as direct consequences of their lack of sense and taste, their paucity of judgment and skill. Observation shows that this is apt to result from too exclusively giving attention to the art of get- 377 378 HIGHER LIVING ling money, and not giving adequate attention to the equally important art of spending. Persons do not appear to think that, after all, it is the life they lead and not the number and sort of things they encumber themselves with, that counts in the long run. To have a large income at the expense of one's entire time and energy; to spend it in showy yet tasteless houses and furnishings ; to adorn one's person gaud- ily with expensive garments and jewels, when it will much more becomingly bear the simpler ones ; to rush to and fro and about the fashionable world, and be seen at a disproportionate series of mostly inane and usually unenjoyable functions; to outrival one's neighbors in splurge and conspicuousness ; — all this is not in the line of getting and spending that in the end counts for real happiness or true success. It surely is quackery so far as spending goes, and it may be owing to even worse than quackery, so far as the getting has been. If these " ambitious " persons assiduously cultivate nothing better than thistles from the beginning on, it naturally enough follows that they will not know how either to cultivate or harvest goodly figs, when fortune is thought to be more favorable to them. They are pretty sure to emulate the feats of the well-known animal that gulps down indiscriminately thistles as well as grass, and seems not to know or care for the difference, even when it has opportunity for choice. Every man worthy the name is naturally ambitious to improve the condition of himself and family. For this he gives his time and energy and skill unspar- ingty. In every way that commends itself to his judgment or conscience he attempts opportunely to GETTING AND SPENDING 379 get more and more, and hopes with this mostly to effect this fundamental purpose of his life. Every conception of dutj' to him lies very close to how much he gets and how he is to spend it. Nor is this sort of ambition and devotion to be seriously discredited in respect of what it is really worth. A man cer- tainly should bend a reasonable proportion of all he is and can be toward both achievement of wealth and its satisfactory expenditure. He is rightly called a " poor stick," if he does not do this, and his de- pendents have a right to feel neglected, if he does not thus fulfil this common duty to them. He him- self need not expect to reap the better satisfactions of life, if he thus fails to attend to what is so obvi- ously his privilege as well as duty. But in this there should not be the mistake so fre- quently to be seen. No one is bound to earn more money than he reasonably can ; and this should be the thought that should be entertained even when work- ing the hardest and most devotedly. It is not reason- able to try to earn wages that by nature, capacity, or strength, one is not adapted to earning. It is not reasonable to work at that for which one has not had a suitable preparation. It is not reasonable, either, to labor during hours that should be given to something " more profitable " than the making of money, even. It is not reasonable permanently to wear oneself out, in order that the purse may grow heavier and one's pride the keener. Getting money should be a reasonable and sane business, kept well under control, and the process enjoyed quite as much as the having or the spending, if not the more. A man's work should be a pleasure to him, not a pain 380 HIGHER LIVING that includes the consciousness of drudgery for sor- did ends. Reasonable getting of money does in itself assure many of the higher satisfactions of life, and rightly so. But this is a matter very different from laying all the stress on the getting, and none or very little on properly living while doing it. What mat- ters it if one gains the whole world and loses his soul, is writ large all over the industrial fabric of the day. It certainly is too bad that the genius of the twenti- eth century citizen should be so chiefly devoted to the unneeded and positively harmful perversions of time and devotion that are found so commonly in connec- tion with the processes of money getting. It all goes to show that there is something " rotten " in the economical fabric, and that it badly needs mending. There is money enough in the world to afford every one a reasonable sufficiency for all their necessities, and for plenty of luxuries, as well. Why it should require such a ceaseless grind for most persons to get but a very moderate portion of it and at the expense of so much time and thought, is a problem that every- body should work at until it is solved once for all. The getting of sufficient money for the comfort and happiness of every household should be a reasonable, joyous, sure process for every man that is not seri- ously handicapped or criminally unworthy. It should be seen to that this gets to be the case, and at a time not very far removed. But yet, it must be said, the real difficulty begins when the time for spending comes. Whether the in- come be a dollar a day or any number of dollars, the principles governing expenditure are the same, and always the same. So far as possible, one should GETTING AND SPENDING 381 spend less than is earned, spend chiefly for things of permanent worth rather than transitory, spend ac- cording to one's real self and its real needs rather than for impressing the world, spend so as to gain rather than lose, — these are the principles that ap- ply to prince and pauper alike, and the violation of which is sure to bring failure and discomfort and disease in its train. In this respect there is no chance or " luck " any more than there is in respect of anything else. To over-spend, to buy for the day only, to spend for show, to spend destructively, bring their sure results in folly, pain and disappointment ; from these there is no escape, gamble with the matter as skilfully as one may. This shows that spending is an art as well as get- ting; an art, moreover, that should be learned by everyone quite as truly the one as the other. If it is thought wise to afford years of schooling and training to prepare for earning a living, why is it not thought quite as reasonable to suppose that it may take just as long a time and just as much skil- ful education to learn how to spend satisfactorily that which is at any time earned? A little sense here would save to most persons much more that is for their real advantage, than the added income that they so greedily desire. If one attempts to think of this matter of spending one's income somewhat in detail, the first thing that appears desirable is that expenditure should first be for actual needs. Wholesome food rather than trashy substitutes, suitable clothing rather than " fashion- able," a practical home rather than a showy house and grounds, more comfortable and more tasteful 382 HIGHER LIVING furniture, better tools and implements, such addi- tional outlays as the betterment of one's calling ne- cessitates, — all these are basic, and should come rigidly before expenditure for unnecessary luxuries and encumbrances. Not that an occasional expendi- ture for " foolishness " is to be seriously decried at all; not this, but rather that such folly shall never become the rule and so endanger both the person and his possessions at once. And especially should judgment and control be exercised in discriminating between needs and wants. Many a man has ruined his health and character and lost his hold by falsely judging that his condition needed the occasional glass of stimulant. Many a woman has ruined the prospect of her whole household by judging that her social position required undue increase of expendi- ture for clothes and ornaments and entertaining. Many a couple has eventually gone under because of ill-judged " vacations " and " rests " and other simi- lar unnecessary deviations from the regular course of life. Many a household has been mortgaged and perhaps lost, in order to make ill-judged contribu- tions to schemes that were but remotely concerned to the spenders. Many a family has itself been " turned turtle " by the automobile that they judged to be so essential to their health or happiness. Many a social climber has been seen to fall to serious disaster, simply because the means used were dispro- portionate to the skill displayed in using them, Now all this may be rightly considered as but little short of criminal disregard of the actual needs of self and dependents. It should seldom if ever be considered right over much to spend for wants before needs have GETTING AND SPENDING 383 been rightly supplied, or to spend for the present without due regard to the future. A young couple starting out hand in hand upon life's rough journey, have, barring accidents, their destiny almost abso- lutely in their own hands, at least so far as getting and spending are concerned. Pity indeed is it, that so many suffer such a shipwreck of fortune and fame as is so commonly seen. Pity is it likewise, that so little is said and taught and required concerning this important subject. A school for learning the art of proper expenditure, at which every young man and woman should be required to attend, is one of the profoundest general needs of the day. With getting and spending comes the matter of saving and investing. How it has come to be that the altogether greater bulk of the money in the world is to be found in the hands of comparatively few people is simple enough as soon as one thinks that some persons have the money-getting instinct and others have it not. I know a man who, out of nine shillings a day, supported a large and increasing family and saved enough first to buy a lot and then to put up a simple house. Of course they all had to deny themselves pretty much everything in order to do this ; but a prouder and happier family never was seen than when finally they all crowded into the little home — their home — that was " all paid for," too, and by their own energy and skill. Beside this man there lived another, who on three dollars a day could not support his family of three and lay up anything at all. In fact he was always in debt, and he never knew where his money went to. Nor can it be said that the lives of himself and his family were to be 884 HIGHER LIVING compared with those of his neighbor for health, com- fort or happiness. Concretely speaking, these neighbors are no exceptions. To him that hath the instinct to saving and expending for permanent val- ues, shall it be given what he looks forward to, and with not many exceptions. From him that hath not this qualification, it shall be taken away that which he already hath. These two bits of instruction are written indelibly on every page of financial history. Between getting money and spending it there should always be a margin that should be perma- nently invested in the best possible way. For many this best possible way will appear to be a better home and all that goes with this ; for others, more extensive landed property ; for others still, extension of busi- ness ; for others, securities based upon supposed actual values. For many the time may come when justification for a better home and a more luxurious expenditure in general will be ample and right. For others some other form of permanent investment of surplus will be sought. This to be satisfactory must be based on certain well-recognized principles as to safety and return. In the first place, the security should be real and ample. No ordinary person has any business to invest his savings in wild-cat specu- lative schemes, glibly " promoted " by adroit exploit- ers of ignorance and credulity. The security itself should show that it is ample, that it has been legally secured and offered, and its base intelligently and prosperously managed and likely to be worth as much at maturity as at any time before. Besides all this, it should be offered and recommended by a house of long-established, successful reputation, one so or-i GETTING AND SPENDING S85 ganized that it will probably be perpetuated along the same reliable lines, at least during the lifetime of the security, and that gives evidence in every trans- action that it believes and means what it says. If such a house makes mistakes, they are reasonable ones and within necessary human limits as to under- standing and judgment. I have known of such houses making mistakes amounting to many thou- sands of dollars ; and yet, to save their customers from loss, simply because of certain settled princi- ples that govern all their transactions, shoulder all the loss themselves. If one loses his savings at the hands of such a house, he can at least console him- self with the thought that he has not been sillily fool- ish. If again the choice of investment has been land, the same principle holds as before. The land should be rightly located, well-adapted to the purposes to which it is to be put, and as secure against claimants and dangers of every kind as intelligence and good judgment can see. A long-ago acquaintance ex- changed in winter time his own ancestral farm for one thought to be better located ; but when spring came he found himself possessed mostly of sand- banks that scarcely compensated for improvement in locality. If branching out in business seems to be the investment called for, no sounder word can be spoken than that, clear hindsight is no easy cor- rector of dull foresight. One of the most successful businesses that I ever knew was rightly located in the first place but in what soon proved to be a terri- bly cramped space ; yet in which it was built up and undeviatingly prosecuted for fifty years, and is still 386 HIGHER LIVING prosperous in the same old narrow quarters. Gen- erations have gotten rich, and generations will get rich, out of space that most men would now sneer at as being contemptibly inadequate. Spreading out a prosperous business does not always insure a corre- sponding increase of prosperity by any means ; while the harassing and the trembling and the overwork and the eternal slaving that so frequently goes with this serious mistake, is indeed a painful prelude to the crash that eventually comes. In business, the little boats that ought to keep near shore never make much by aping the greater ones that have been built for wider ventures. And men are much like boats, in this respect. And so it is with investing extra funds in larger homes and finer. Better look ahead and with sharp eyes before entering upon a rather speculative enterprise like this. Much as the more expensive house may seem to be the one thing needed to make life comfortably successful, it may prove nevertheless to be the millstone that will never cease hanging about the neck until death itsef brings re- lease ; — or even not then, for the succeeding genera- tion may have to bear on and on the burden that grinds and shows no mercy. Of all the follies of in- vestment, the one almost the most reprehensible is that of building so large a home that, as soon as the children have flown, it will seem as empty as space itself and as difficult to maintain as miscalculation either abstract or concrete. A professional friend of mine, when asked why he didn't retire, replied: " I cannot ; I have too big and expensive an estab- lishment to maintain." And yet he was near to GETTING AND SPENDING 387 threescore years old, and dangerously worn with his unceasing work and worry. So we are led to say that, in every instance, the successful investor of much or little money is bound to be intelligent, reasonable, cautious, far-seeing and chiefly sacrificing of present wants to future needs. Nor in any sense can this course rightly interfere with the actual comfort and enjoyment of life that one should unhesitatingly aspire to. We all have a right to enj oy life as we go along, undoubtedly ; but it is precautionary to remember that not every prom- ise of fulfillment in this respect is certain of success, by any means. Here is a field in which the princi- ples of Higher Living not only hold, but conquer to the uttermost in this practical world. Heedlessness here is scarcely ever so excusable as common report would have it. The need for universal instruction and training in the art of living has growing need to be exercised at least as fully as the art of getting a living. Right getting and right spending assure a prosperity that can be depended upon. CHAPTER XXIX AS THE YEARS ADVANCE I am peaceful as old age to-night, I regret little, I would change still less. ROBERT BROWNING Things of a day! what are we? what are we not? Man is a shadow, a dreamer. But when the glory of victory has come, the gift of heaven, then the clear light rests on men, and there is life serene. pindar Once more let God's green earth and sunset our old feelings awaken; Through weary years of toil and strife and ill, O, let me feel that my good angel still Hath not his trust forsaken. JOHN G. WHITTIER As you are old and reverend, you should be wise. SHAKESPEARE But an old-age serene and bright, And lovely as a Lapland night, Shall lead thee to thy grave. WILLIAM WORDSWORTH I grieve not that ripe knowledge takes away The charm that Nature to my childhood wore, For, with that insight, cometh, day by day, A greater bliss than wonder was before. MATTHEW ARNOLD The fact is, in our spiritual life we already possess him, are fle'sh of his flesh, are one with him. Just in so far as we have validity, courage, loyalty, wealth, strength, sanity of will and understanding, we know him just as much as we are. And we are him just so much as we are morally worthy to be. josiah royce CHAPTER XXIX AS THE YEARS ADVANCE As the years advance, the time comes when the energy and suppleness and ambitions of younger days are felt somewhat ominously to be dying down, and the outlook to be mostly into the days of the " sere and yellow leaf " of autumnal decline. The old habits of impulse rise to less and less imperious heights ; inclination becomes less keen and fascinat- ing ; conquests less desirable, earthly fears and hopes not so definite, and additional experience of any kind not so desirable. Old slippers and gowns come to feel the easier, old habits the more comfortable, old opinions and books and politics and religion and eatables more and more acceptable, and old friends the best of all. In fact, if we are honest with our- selves, we see that we are really growing old, and soon must give way to those that naturally follow. Happy are we, if we do not get to feel like Ibsen's " Master Builder," who declared, " it seems as though a crushing debt rested upon me and weighed me down " ; or if we are not forced to crouch because of " the younger generation that stands ready to knock at my door " as he said, " to make an end of Harvard Solness," but let ourselves slide out into the quieter waters of life without jealousy and do not begrudge our successors their places, in turn. In order to be thus resigned and comfortable, how- 391 392 HIGHER LIVING ever, we should first endeavor to reserve for this fatal period the best bodily condition and habits that we possibly can. Good digestion and secretion are indispensable to these later-days' comfort, and brook no substitute by way of artificial stimulation or tonic, whatsoever. Equally necessary likewise are good intelligence and right thinking, if the best of old age is to be enjoyed. Mere entertainment by outsiders or outside show fails very noticeably in comparison with that which comes from a hearty mentality, heartily exercised. And so is it with re- spect to right feeling and right disposition, and with right outlook upon the narrowing future. Those whose every moment is filled with thoughts and ex- pressions of the love that is divine, have little fear of anything now or hereafter. To be in harmony with the Supreme nature of all, is to feel safe and trusting evermore ; is to " only know I cannot drift beyond His loving care," is to look at the sunset clouds and see only the glory there so generously emblazoned. Growing old is a process that is much more largely determined by original condition and life-long prac- tices than by the number of years one has lived. If it is true that at any given time we are " Just as old as our arteries," so is it equally true that we are as old as the functioning of any other one of our general systems. Not only the arterial but the di- gestive, the excretory, the nervous, the glandular, the generative systems show, each in turn, how near to the terminus we actually are at any given period AS THE YEARS ADVANCE 393 of our lives. This fact must raise to a higher im- portance our considerations of all the earlier por- tions of life. Early malnutrition and disease, youth- ful dissipation, adolescent depressions and false steps, adult over-work, over-worry and other bad habits, disregard of tendencies and reckless gambling with health possibilities, all prepare the way for the ad- vance of old age correspondingly long before the normal term of years. And back of this is of course the original constitution with its predispositions and tendencies that has been given by ancestry. There is nothing mysterious about the fact that one per- son is old early and another late. In each case it comes about absolutely in obedience to laws, which it is still the world's shame that it knows so inac- curately and disobeys so heedlessly even when rightly known. But one thing is certain : Early or late, abnor- mally weak or crippled or otherwise, hopeless or abounding in faith, satisfied or not, the demands of Higher Living are just as pressing upon advanced age, as ever. In this there is no legitimate respite, nor should there be expectation of any, even in ex- ceptional cases. Self-indulgence should not be un- reasonable because of age any more than because of the want of it. For as age advances it is the influ- ence upon others that tells the most of all. Rosy, cheery, agile, optimistic old men or women are sure to scatter blessings wherever they go, and the world grows better under their bright radiance, whether they design it, or not. Everyone should think of this possibility of the last decades of life, and begin early to train themselves to realize it when in turn 394 HIGHER LIVING the time for them has come. Much of the whining and the grouchiness and the pessimism of old age is but the cultivation of habits of body and mind, be- gun years before. It is often pitiful to note how these habits have come so to dominate certain per- sons, that they themselves and everybody else arc kept constantly in a state of misery that is inde- scribable, yet so horribly real. Much of the so- called " childishness " of old age is but the perpetua- tion of a childishness that has never been grown out of at any time before. Hard to deal with is this, undoubtedly. The profitable time to deal with it be- gan with babyhood and has continued ever since. No person should let these pernicious misery-produc- ing habits either to grow or to become permanent. This is a personal duty as imperative and useful as it is obvious and commendable. One of the sources of trouble in old age is the vacuous mind or the trivial content of mind that has been allowed to develop. It takes just as truly fore- sight and rightly-directed energy here, as earlier in life. No person, as old age approaches, should let empt3 r -mindedness or trivial-mindedness become domi- nant. True, many of the former occupations and strains should, one by one, be laid aside, and an in- creasing amount of time be given to rest and peace of mind and body. No one should attempt to carry into this period the strenuous life that has been both creation and salvation heretofore. One by one the labors and the stresses should be given over to the younger generation ; but this does not require that lazy, non-occupation should follow. Labor without strain and kept within normal bounds is always ap- AS THE YEARS ADVANCE 395 propriate, even unto the latest possible day. As j^oungest children should as soon as possible have their little tasks dutifully to be done, so should the patriarchs have their appropriate work and care until the end. The old age that is simply rest and vacuity is discontented and self-destructive. The strength and faculties that still remain need now as at any time to be appropriately exercised in or- der to insure the greatest satisfactions of mind and body. The muscles need some exercise always ; the intellect needs to grapple with something, no less ; the emotions to be stirred, if gently; the will to be timely and regularly exercised; and the spirit to be exercised in helpful enterprises, every day at least so long as possible. To this end the garden, the woodpile, the care of animals, and the like, or the knitting, the sewing, the dusting, and the like, may each in its place serve as acceptably as usefully. And if to this, a reasonable amount of appropriate reading, suitable companion- ship, entertaining conversation, short journeyings, fresh scenes, new studies, hearty interests and zests are added from time to time, no old age need pain- fully decline for want of the occupation that con- serves while it stimulates or gives tone. Yet to this should be added also the sedulous cultivation of the spiritual qualities, without which old age may indeed be dark. Our fathers and mothers read their Bibles, said their prayers in company or alone, talked about holy things frequently, educated their children in religious matters at their knees, and felt the consola- tions of religion correspondingly. They probably lived much closer to the fount of spirituality than 396 HIGHER LIVING their children, and we have need to return to some of their customs, if we would reap their Godly rewards. If we are to be holy-minded we must keep in touch with the Source of holiness, even throughout old age. One can see no substitute for this, intelligent along many lines as we have now become. A readiness and determination to keep close hold of the hand of Creative Energy, to rest our hearts on His fatherly one, to trust that He doeth all things well, no matter how contrariwise to our short sight it may seem, to approach the Source of Spiritual Energy frequently and long in most earnest communion, to dwell in thought upon both the scientific aspects of creation and the scope of moral and religious opportunity that is afforded us, to hope on, hope ever, and to grow in the faith, that the excellence of what has been is sufficient assurance that henceforth all will be well — all this is as necessary to the well-being of old age, as it ought to be useful to persons of any age. Those who have breasted the years of experience successfully, ought to remember how much they were helped or could have been helped simply by the timely expression on the part of others of the trust that saves and inspires, and endeavor to perpetuate so useful a custom with all their remaining strength. Failure here is doubly disastrous ; it cheats the young of- its best inheritance, and it impoverishes the old who should still be growing in grace, none the less steadily. Old age ought to be as peaceful and serene as ap- proaching normal sleep; ought to be as trustful as the babe in its mother's lap ; ought to be as well-mean- ing and loving as the Father himself; ought to be AS THE YEARS ADVANCE 397 as helpful as ever before ; ought to " glide adown life's stream " and see never a frightening shoal or rock ahead. If Higher Living has been a reality that has persistently influenced the life from the cradle, or long before, on, there is no question that old age and the terminus itself will have no shadow of fear or pain worth noting; will have no question either that, as it looks " On life's fair picture of delight/' it can expect triumphantly to say later on, " My heart's content would find it right." Whenever it shall " Obey the voice at eve obeyed at prime/' then it will surely hear the same voice whisper " Lowly faithful, banish fear, Right onward drive unharmed; The port, well worth the cruise, is near, And every wave is charmed." CHAPTER XXX THE GLORIOUS HOPE Serene and mild the untried light May have its dawning; And, as in summer's northern night The evening and the dawn unite, The sunset hues of time blend with the soul's new morning. JOHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER It has been good to be here, and it will be good to go hence; we know not whence we came, nor whither we go; were not consulted as to our coming, and shall not be as to our going; it is all for "the glory of God"; though we must use this phrase in a larger sense than the cramped interpretation of the theologian. JOHN BURROUGHS Far oii thou art, but ever nigh ; I have thee still, and I rejoice; I prosper, circled with thy voice; I shall not lose thee tho' I die. ALFRED TENNYSON O years ! and Age ! Farewell : Behold I go Where I do know Infinite to dwell, And these mine eyes shall see All times how they Are lost i' th' Sea Of vast Eternitie. Robert herrick You may no longer see the mystical beauty, the sub- limity of the dead face, but out of the farther past the living eyes will look ... a face from an evanescent semblance will flash a radiance into the place where her face, his face, is in your heart and restore it to your Vision. WILLIAM DEAN HOWELLS CHAPTER XXX THE GLORIOUS HOPE As one dares to look beyond the moment when he shall be pronounced " dead," a conflict of emotions is apt to possess him and render him either despond- ent and timid or courageous and elated, as he has been wont seriously to regard his earlier superstitious teachings or his later, reasonable ones. If he is still speculating as to whether he is to " be saved " or not, and whether he has accepted the reputed " means " of salvation and tried with all his might dutifully to live by them, he is apt, in these modern days, to be disturbed by many a doubt that has come to him from his contact with life and from the instruction that has impressed him as he has read in the litera- ture of the times. Seldom is it possible for the in- telligent reading man or woman of today to have such an unmodified, unvitiated faith in ancient " rev- elation " as our fathers had. Something has come into the modern mind that obscures its ultimate con- ception of God and providence and salvation, and has not as yet very widely been superseded by ideas of intelligibility, rationality and assured fact. Few, besides the so-called " free religionists," are now able to be absolutely happy as they look over the black line into the fields beyond. Everyone wishes to know more about it before he enters upon the " great ad- venture," and shrinks from the uncertainty that be- 401 402 HIGHER LIVING sets him as life has taught him to shrink from all kinds of ignorance and presumption. Now it seems to me that the students and disciples of Higher Living, if they have been true to the light that they have seen, need have no such timidity and despondency whatever. As they have come through the days and hours, they must have become more and more assured that, behind all that is seen or thought of or imagined there is a Supreme Power and Wisdom and Goodness that, inasmuch as He has brought everything so wonderfully to pass thus far, He will continue to do wonderfully well unto all eternity. It would seem as if one must become joy- ous, trusting, expectant of the best, just as soon as the significance of the lessons of Higher Living is once appreciated and incorporated into one's daily life. From that moment, all the higher, nobler, finer aims of life must prosper no matter how everything else goes. Not only is the Supreme Being felt as a competent, wise, all-sufficient power, but the self- hood within is felt so closely allied, that ultimate failure is impossible. " Enough now, if the Right And Good and Infinite Be named here^ as thou calledst thy hand thine own." The Vine is felt to support the branches now, and to be able to sustain them until all fruitage of the spirit is developed. It becomes clear that with every prompting spiritward, every thought and act in re- sponse thereto, has been growing the immortal within us at a corresponding rate, and that to ever}' extent of stature to which we have arrived, we are THE GLORIOUS HOPE 403 as sure of the future as of the past or present. It is the divine spirit within, actuating every con- ception, prompting or act that is immortal; the body we are to leave behind, but we are to take with us the glorious fruitage of every sweet thought, every kindly deed, every joyous hope, every wave of disinterested love, every prayer for all mankind, none the less. The body has a space limit, a time limit. The spirit is an ever-living expansion, fel- lowship and fulfilling of heavenly desire. The one plagues us with its demand for materialization and tangibility; the other assures us by its own suffi- ciency for the life eternal. It makes certain when all else is painfully speculative and unpromising. Yes, this is The Glorious Hope that is naturally developed in the minds and hearts of the disciples of Higher Living. Looking beyond the grave, they see a continuing of all that has been finest and noblest in their lives. They know that the secret key that will unlock eternity for them, is the love they have borne their brethren met in the way. They know that their love for others is akin to the love of God — is of him, from him, by him. Like the coalescence of drops in the universal sea, the love-fount of one's nature is drawn to the Father heart and there is satisfied. Divine love is to be found the same hereafter as now. Our legacy is of it and the life it transforms. " We know not where his islands lift Their fronded palms in air, We only know we cannot drift ' Beyond his love and care." 4 °4 HIGHER LIVING We here find that all the Teachers in the world's a^T V** 1 swjr v-^V vW->* %J .% *<$&>« /sJM*kX, y,^.« >♦ X/ "W •/ v^\/ v^'/ %/",♦ ^ OV Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process k V *j "^f^Sa^ * ^ '^ Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide *3 '» fl ,> 4 /v .- Treatment Date: Sept. 2004 v^ ^°o ^ .i^I* PreservationTechnologies * .-. ^ * '^^Aw'lkl*. a ^np. n I FADER IN PAPER PRESERVATION .0 * o » 0, V ". Aiitt*^ vtefciX V^V - .«>*% „0 J* °o ^0* LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 013 192 039 8