Glass PS J 5/ 5 Bookj2l£aSl2L m.6 I Sylvia Runs Away BY ROBERT HOUSUM SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New Yorfc Sylvia Runs Away A FARCE IN THREE ACTS BY ROBERT HOUSUM Copyright, 1911, by Robert Housum (Under the title of "Who Is Sylvia?") Copyright, 1920, by Samuel French 411 Rights Reserved CAUTION: All persons are hereby warned that "SYL- VIA RUNS AWAY," being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and any one presenting the play without the consent of the owners or their authorized agents will be liable for the penalties by law provided. Ap- plication for the amateur acting rights must be made to Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th St., New York City. Application for the professional acting rights must be made to The American Play Company, 33 West 42nd St., New York City. New York: SAMUEL FRENCH Publisher 28-30 West 38th Street London : SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd, 26 Southampton Street Strand 6 Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this book without a valid contract for production first hav- ing been obtained from the publisher confers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only and no performance of it may be given except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 28-30 West Thirty-eighth Street, New York City. Section 28 — That any person who wilfully or for profit shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or who shall knowingly and wilfully aid or abet such in- fringement, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction shall be punished by imprison- ment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine or not less than one hundred nor more than one thousand dollars, or both, in the discretion of the court Act of March 4, 1909. ©C1.0 bOOtil NOV 20 1920 Sylvia Then I suppose I shall wait on table r PopHAM. Yes. Pay special heed to Mr. Graham. DDn't let his grumbling and growling distress you. It's only his way. He means nothing by it. Sylvia. When— when will Eliza be back? PoPHAM. To-morrow, probably. Sylvia.. Ah, Em glad. r ttv PoPHAM You seem very fond of Eliza. Sylvia. Indeed I am. She's been so good to me. (Doorbell rings off l. c.) PoPHAM. There! I expect that's the postman. Tou m.ay as well get used to answering the door (SvLYi A starts for door l. c, crossing Popham l.; But never let anyone in you don't know. Inquire the name and business if doubtful. Sylvia. I understand. (She goes out l. c. and PoPHAM goes out r. After a brief pause Douglas enters l. c, lookinq gloomy and dejected. He comes down L. c, and Sylvia 'folloivs him in, evidently ill at ease about admitting him. Sam enters l. c. lo SYLVIA RUNS AWAY and sits at l. of table r. c. He has an afternoon newspaper folded and stuck in his pocket) Sylvia. (Timidly) Who are you, please ? What is your business? Sam. What's my business? Well, you've got a nerve for a servant. You must be new here. Sylvia. Yes, sir. I only came yesterday. Sam. (To Douglas j I believe she takes me for a book-agent. Doug, do I act like a book- agent ? Douglas. You do not. Book-agents are in- variably courteous. Sam. Well, they have to be. / don't. Sylvia. I beg your pardon Douglas. No wonder she asked. W'e look like tramps. Sam. (Snappishly) Well, think what we've been through ! If I look as rotten as I feel, I must be a sight. Sylvia. (Turning to Sam J Oh, it is ^Ir. Graham, is it not? I should have recognized him from Popham's description. Sam. (Glaring at her) You don't tell me. Douglas. (With a smile) One on you, Sam. Yes, this is Mr. Graham, and I am Mr. Lea. Wq came to see Mr. Hamilton. Sylvia. Thank you. I'll tell him you're here. (As Sylvia starts r. for stairs, Popham enters r. and walks back of table r. c. to foot of stairs) Popham. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Til call Master Scott, Nora. f Sylvia starts for door R., crossing in front of Samj You may go to the kitchen. (Sylvia goes out r., giggling quietly) Sam. (Glaring after her) Where did you get your fresh maid? Popham. Fresh, sir? SYLVIA RUNS AWAY ii Sam. Yes, fresh. She wanted to know my busi- ness. Douglas. Stop growh'ng, Sam. The girl's all right, Popham, very refined — and more than a little good-looking. (Gets chair from l., places it l. c, and sits) Sam. Well, do we see Scott or don't we? Popham. I'll call him, sir. (Goes upstairs and out door at head of stairs) Douglas. (After a pause) Well? Sam. Well? Douglas. Well, what in the world are we going to say to Scott? Sam. Tell him the deal has gone to smash. Douglas. I hate to do it. Sam. He's got to know it. Besides, it was his fault. Douglas. (Rising) Don't blame it on Scott. Who got us into it? Sam. Oh, / did. But that tip on U. S. Coal was a corker. Didn't it go up twenty points in three days? Douglas. Yes. And dropped thirty points in about three minutes. Sam. We held on too long. If we'd only sold out at 89 — like I wanted to Douglas. Come, Sam, be a sport and take your medicine. Sam. If we can't raise ten thousand dollars for margin by to-morrow morning Douglas. (Sits) Well, I don't see how we can. Sam. Then good-night. Scott. (Appearing briskly at head of stairs) Hello ! (As he runs downstairs) How are the predatory rich? (^Douglas and Sam look very glum and do not respond to his gaiety. He crosses l. to Douglas and shakes hands. Douglas does not rise) 12 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Good afternoon, Mr. Rockefeller. (Crosses r. to Sam, zvJio does not rise, and shakes hands) And my old friend Baron Rothschild. Well, what are we going to do with it all? How about a new car and a yacht and a Douglas. Scott, old man, hold up a minute. Scott. What's wrong? Douglas. I hate to tell you, but — it's all gone. Scott. What's all gone? Douglas. Our money. Scott. Gone ? Where ? Sam. (Rises, goes to chair r. of table r. c. and stands) Don't be a fool. Where does all the money in W' all Street go ? Scott. But I thought we were way to the good. Douglas. We were. But the market turned after you left. Scott. W^ait a minute. I'm dizzy. Sam. If we'd only sold out at 89. Douglas. (Rising) After you left we went to the W'aldorf to watch the ticker. They made a drive on Coal and Sam. The bottom just — dropped — out. Douglas. I never saw such a scramble. There were about ten men to every telephone, trying to reach their brokers Sam. And all the time U. S. Coal was going down — down — down. Scott. Didn't it rally? Sam. Ever drop a bucket down a well? Just — like — that. (Drops into chair r. of table R. c.) Douglas. And before we could get our broker the Exchange closed. Scott, Then we're wiped out? Douglas. Might as well be. Unless we can come across before to-morrow morning with more margin — we're smashed. (Drops into chair i., c.) SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 13 Sgott. How much do we need? Douglas. Ten thousand dollars. Scott. Ten thousand dollars. (Going over to table R. c.) Sam, who gave you that rotten tip on Coal ? Sam. Bill Stevenson. (^ Scott starts quickly for ' door L. c. Douglas rushes after him and stops him) Douglas. Where are you going? Scott. I'm going to find Bill Stevenson and gently but firmly murder him. Douglas. Don't be an ass. (Comes dozvn l. c. and Scott down q.) Sam. (Sourly) The tip was all right. But we ought to have sold out at 89. Scott. That's so. By Jove ! Then it's all my fault. (Shakes head dole f idly) There's no use . saying I'm sorry — a natural-born fool always is. You should have had more sense than to take a six-cylinder jackass in with you. Douglas. Sam and I wanted to hold on, too. You're not to blame. (Sits in chair l. c.) Scott. Yes, I am. I heard someone say that Coal was going to par — and lost my fool head. Lapped it up like a Bronx cocktail. (Goes and stands at hack of table R. c.) Sam. If we'd only sold out at 89! (Bell rings off L. C.j Douglas. (Rising and going over to table r. c.) Come! Let's figure how we can get out of this. I had Bill Stevenson on the phone. (Crosses back . io l. c.) He says it's sure to go up again and will ' tourh 90. He's on the inside. (Sits l. c. j •■*'= 'Sam. He certainly is. //^ sold out at 89. Scott. Then we've got to raise money for mar- ' ;^giii^^ Somehow, ■ and hang on until it goes up 14 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sam. Did you ever try to raise ten thousand dollars? Over night? Douglas. We haven't got a chance. Sam. Why, I've hardly enough left to buy a square meal. Scott. I know. But we've got to do it. Sam. How? ^Popham enters l. c. with letters in his hand) Scott. (Shaking his head gloomily) I wish I knew. PoPHAM. (Coming down to l. of Scott J The mail, sir. Scott. Oh, put it down somewhere. PoPHAM. But there's a letter for you, sir. From abroad. Scott. (Snatching the mail from Popham j From Father ! (Drops all the letters hut one on table r. c.^ Perhaps it's that check ! If it only is (Tears envelope open eagerly) Sam. We may be able to eat a few days longer. {^PoPHAM goes out l. c. ) Douglas. (Rising and crossing r. to ScottJ How much is it ? Scott. (Shaking letter and looking frantically in envelope) There — there doesn't seem to be any check after all. Sam. That settles it. We starve to death. (^Douglas goes hack to chair l. c. and sits) Scott. Just listen to this : (Reads from letter) *T am glad to hear you are doing so well in Wall Street. Since you are making so much money, you will no longer require your allowance, and I have therefore discontinued it. Your affectionate Father." Affectionate! Sam. (Pointing to one of the letters still on table R. c.; What's that letter with the black SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 15 border? Got any rich relations who might have died and left you ten thousand? Scott. (Picking up letters and looking at black- bordered one) No, it's only — oh, I say, Popham! Douglas. What's wrong now? Scott. This is getting to be a nuisance! f Pop- ham enters l. c.) Popham. What, sir? Scott. Why, letters keep coming here for that confounded Miraculo. Sam. What's a miraculo? Scott. He's a man — some sort of a fake for- tune-teller. Douglas. Oh, I've seen his ad. — "See Miraculo. He sees through you/' He's one of those crystal ball gazers. Popham. That's him, sir. His studio is at 118 West 36th Street. Our number is 118 East. That's how it happens. You'd be surprised, sir, how many gets East and \A''est mixed. Scott. (Angrily) WeH, I'm tired of it. Give this back to the postman to-morrow and tell him to stop bringing this Miraculo's mail to me. He ought to have more sense. (Hands letters to Pop- ham j Sam. Yes, it's a cinch you're no fortune-teller. If you were, we'd have sold out at 89 Douglas. Sam, will you shut up? Sam. (Rising) Oh, let's have a drink. It may make things look brighter. Douglas. (Rising) No. We haven't had lunch. Make it tea. (^Sam makes a zvry face and sits in chair to l. of table r. c.) Scott. Tea, Popham. Popham. It's all but ready, sir. I'll send Nora in with it at once. Scott. Nora? ; i6 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY ' PoPHAM. The new maid, sir. Scott. Oh, yes, of course. ("Popham goes out L. c, carrying letters) How much did you say we needed? Sam. Ten thousand dollars. Mere trifle. Scott. No use. Might just as well try to raise ten million. (Goes up c.) Douglas. (Crossing r. to Sam J How much have you got, Sam ? Sam. (Displaying a bill) My last, lonely ''V." Douglas. Nothing in the bank? Sam. Not a cent, f Douglas goes back to chair L. c. and stands beside it) I paid some bills this month. Thought at the time it was extravagant. fPoPHAM enters r.^ followed by Sylvia zvitJi the tea-tray. He goes up R.. takes small table in up r. corner and places it back of large table r. c, to l. of chair. Sylvia comes to l. of Popham and places tea-tray on small table) Scott. How about you, Doug? Douglas. Between three and four hundred dol- lars. And you? Scott. (Pulling coins out of trousers' pocket) Exactly eleven cents. But I owe a lot more than that. Pve borrowed all I could already. • Douglas. Not a ray of hope. (Sits in chair l. c. In the meantime Popiiam and Sylvl\ have poured out tea. Sylvia passes a cup to Sam and picks up ybmvl of granulated sugar to pass to him) Popham. Never br-'ng granulated sugar for tea, (Nora. Serve the loaf sugar. : o;,g,YLViA. (Passing sugar bowl to Sam, tvho takes two heaping teaspoonfuls ) Yes, I know. But I couldn't find it. (Goes back to tea-table. In the y^af^time PopnAM serves Scott, zvho takes no sugar) Sam. Come back here with 'that. sugar!;- SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 17 Sylvia. I beg your pardon. (Returns, passes Sam sugar. He fakes another big spoonful) Sam. Remember hereafter that I am very fond of sugar. Sylvia. Yes, sir. (Goes to tea-table, gets cup of tea, ivhich she carries to Douglas, who rises from chair I., c. to receive it from her. She offers him sugar bowl, but he shakes his head negatively. Sam tastes his tea and leaps suddenly to his feet) Sam. Are you trying to poison me? What in thunder is this stuff? Sylvia. (Crossing r. to Samj Is anything the matter with your tea? Sam. Tea! This isn't tea. It tastes Hke the Great Salt Lake. (Places cup and saucer on table R. C.) Sylvia. (Taking pinch of sugar from bowl and tasting it) Oh, I'm so sorry. I've brought sah ! Popham. (Horrified, coming dozvn l. c. to her) Nora! fScoTT and Douglas roar zvith laughter. Scott sits in chair behind table R. c.) Sam. That's right. Laugh! Sylvia. Oh, I'm so sorry. I — I didn't do it on purpose- DouGLAS. Why, of course you didn't. Popham. Nora! Go at once and look for the loaf sugar. Sylvia. (Frightened) Y-y-yes, sir. (She goes out R.) Popham. Oh, gentlemen ! Sam. You'll never be able to do anything with that girl, Popham. I'd bounce her, right oft* the reel. Douglas. I'd do no such thing! ("Popham goes out r., shaking his head sadly) No wonder she's nervous, Sam, the way you bellow at her. i8 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY YouVe scared the poor girl half to death. She's a little bundle of nerves. Sam. What about luy nerves? Douglas. And she's mighty pretty. (Places cup and saucer on small table L.J Sam. Well, no accounting for taste. Scott, Doug's fallen in love with your new maid. (Sits in chair L. of table r. c, Jakes newspaper from his pocket and begins to read) Scott. In love! (To DouglasJ Haven't you got trouble enough without that? Douglas. (Angrily) Oh, don't be ridiculous! Come now ! What are we going to do ? Scott. (Setting cup and saucer on table r. c. and coming down l. c. ) Let's put all we've got to- gether and play the races. (^Popham enters R., with bozvl of loaf-sugar and additional cup and saucer in his hands. He goes up R., then l. to rear of tea- table, zi'here he sets dozvn sugar bowl and pours out a fresh cup of tea) Sam. (Drily) I guess I'll hang on to my five. (Returns to reading his nezvspaper) Douglas. You've got to think of something better than that, Scott. Scott. I wish I could. I got you into this mess. It's up to me to pull you out. (^Popham offers Sam fresh cup of tea and sugar bowl) Sam. (Waving them azvay) No, thanks. Don't disturb me. I'm busy. fPoPHAM begins to collect cups and saucers) Scott. What have you got there, Sam? Sam. "The Sun." Market reports. ''U. S. Coal hits toboggan — — " Scott. (Taking paper out of Sam's hands) Let's see what it says. Douglas. Sam, isn't there any way to raise the money ? SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 19 Scott. (Laughing ) We might try the "Help Wanted" coKimn. Sam. Can't you keep your mouth shut? Scott. (Reading) "Wanted: bright young man to learn the barber trade. Manners must be pleasant and affable." That's a great chance for you, Sam. f Popham, having collected the cups and saucers, carries the tea-tray out r.) Douglas. Scott, Sam and I are trying to figure out Scott. (Turning over to front page of paper, whistles) Say ! Here is a chance ! Sam. Oh, what is it nozv? Scott. (Taking paper over to Douglas and pointing out item to him) Look at that. Douglas. By Jove ! That is funny. SA^f . Go on. Hand me a laugh : I need it. Douglas. (Reading) "Ten thousand dollars reward." Sam. (Sitting up) What for? Scott. (Taking paper front Douglas and read- ing) "Offered by Daniel Hyde of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, for information leading to the dis- covery of his missing niece, Sylvia Deane." You know, if by some chance we could find this Sylvia Deane Sam. Oh, don't be a fool. Give me my paper. Scott. No, wait a minute. (Reads) "On the death of Miss Deane's father two years ago, her uncle, Daniel Hyde, was appointed her legal guardian ; and since that time she has niade her home in Harrisburg with him and his wife. She is reputed to be worth over a million — in her own right." (Whistles) Douglas. Yes — her mother was Hyde's sister — and all the Hydes inherited money. Scott. (Surprised) Why, do you know them? S VL\X\ RUNS AWAY - 5. Xo, but I've heard Dad speak of '\ c^dimg) "It is the belief of the police .ne is now in Xcw York." Hear that? if she's in Xew York die police hare -le. Let's get back to the market. '^ ^r Scott) Give roe my paper. market! HaTcn't yon had e . - : the girl's pictnre. fShoa:s it L- ~ '' z^er and looking of ii > Wlr .car of ink ! It m^^ be I **:^k it's a Teiy good picture. Fd r -- anywhere, ^ . ■ -. i - on oat and reco^T" :^ ''^"- I am't stoppmg' yoo- DorcLAS. WTiy. Scott, what cou ' ^'i*£!k the streets peering roond for a gir like that snmd^? (Points to picture in faf-er/ Sam. ( SarcasticaUx ) Yon m^iht stroll np snd down Broadway sii^ino^: "^I want an heiress, a bonny, bonny heiress. She's as " -^ 'Tt throt- tles him) L^go? Scott. Give roe that paper t ^ zz::nes f^iper from DoccLAS and reads i "The date of Miss Deane's marriage to ^Ir. Rii^'dcy Xorris. promi- nent society man of Harrisbnr^, had been set for to-morrow. Both ^Ir. Hyde and Mr. Xorris deny enqihatically that any misimderstandii^ betwe*Ti Miss Deane and her fiance preceded her disap- pearance." Sam. (Taking faper from Scott) Wefl, how are yon going to find her? SocnT. I don't know. Jnst the same. I've ha'f a mind to nnderfake the job. I don't see any other way of raisii^ that ten thonsand. SYLA^IA RUNS AWAY 2t DoT'GLAS. (Laughing and pointing at Scottj Sherlock Holmes come back ! Sam. President of the Bone-Head Detective Agency. Douglas. All in favor Sam and Douglas. Aye ! Sam. Elected. It gives me great pleasure, Mr. Holmes, to notify you of your election as Presi- dent of the Bone-Head Detective Agency. (Sits in chair l. of table k. c. Douglas sits in chair l. c.J Scott. I accept. (With a burlesque of Sherlock Holmes, addressing Sam ) And now, my dear Wat- son, what is your own crud^ idea of our little problem? Whcit are the facts? Facts are occa- sionally useful, Watson, even to the deductive mind. Douglas. (Rising) Scott, we're in no mood for skylarking. Do you realize what an awful hole we're in ? Scott. Of course I do. But if we could only get that reward SA^r. (Laying neivspaper on table R. c.j Cut out the tomfoolery, and let's get down to cases. Scott. (A little angry) Pve suggested every- thing / can think of. Xow see what you can do. (Turns and 'icalks up l., throzvs himself on ivin~ doic-seat, and gazes out zvindozv) Douglas. (Crossing r. to Sam J Do you think anyone would lend it to us ? Sam. No. If they didn't know us, they'd want securit}'. And if they did know us DoL^GLAS. They'd want it worse than ever. Sam. Scott! Do you know any easy mark we could borrow from? Scott. (Looking out of icindow) Keep still a minute ! SA^r. (To Douglas; \\'hat's the matter with him ? 22 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. There's the craziest-acting girl outside here Sam. That's nothing unusual. New York's full of 'em. Douglas. What's she doing? Scott. Parading up and down outside the house. By Jove, I believe she's coming i.i I (Rises in excitement) No ! — There she goes. — Now she's turned round again, and is coming back Douglas. Perhaps it's some silly kid come to consult your friend Miraculo. Scott. T shouldn't wonder. How do people fall for such tommyrot ? — I believe you're right ! She's looking at the number and comparing it with a card Douglas. Then why doesn't she come in? Scott. Lost her nerve, I suppose. She seems to be frightened. (With sudden excitement) Boys! Come here a minute ! Both of you ! Sam. What is it now? Scott. I want you to see this girl. Douglas. Wh}^ ? Scott. Because she's a dead ringer for that pic- ture of Sylvia Deane. (Sam and Douglas roar with laughter) She's looking up here ! Douglas. I should think she would. If vou don't stop gaping out the window, you'll collect a crowd. Sam. (Encouragingly) Run out and catch her. Only I can't afford to bail you out if she calls a cop. Scott. Sam ! Bring me that picture. Sam. (Rising and picking up newspaper from table R. c.; Oh, all right. (To Douglas) Might as well humor him. (Joins Scott at zvindoiv and looks out. Both glance at picture in nezvspaper) SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 23 Come here, Doug. You know, there is a sort of resemblance. Douglas. Are you catching it, too? (Rises and joins them at the windozv) Sam. (Showing Douglas the picture, and read- ing description, while Scott points out window) "Dark hair — dark eyes — slender — simply dressed" — Douglas. (Impressed in spite of himself ) The general effect is a good deal like the picture. Scott. Of course it is ! Douglas. But you can't really tell much from such a blot. Scott. I'll bet you anything it's Sylvia Deane!- Sam. (To Douglas) Do you think it could be? (Puts paper 'n his pocket) Douglas. No! Not one chance in a million. Still — (IVith a laugh) — it would be just like Scott's bull-headed luck if it were! Sam. Then let's find out! Douglas. How? You can't rush out on the street and grab a gi:"! — on the mere suspicion that she may happen to be a lost heiress. Sam. No, she'd probably have you pinched. How can we find out whether or not she's Sylvia Deane ? Douglas. You cant. Scott. (Turning suddenly from zvindow) Maybe you can't. I can. And /'/;/ going to. Douglas and Sam. How? Scott. (PuUing up his sleeves in the manner of a parlor magician) Watch m- closely, ladies and gentlemen, and you will s^e how the trick is done. (Goes to table r. c. and rings bell upon it) Sam. (Looking out zvindow) She's coming in '—No ! She's shopped ! Scott. But she zuill come in when she gets her nerve up. ("Popham enters r.) Popham, there's 24 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY a young lady outside. I think she's mixed up tl'ie numbers, and has come to see that Miraculo man. If she should ring the bell PopHAM. (Starting for door L. c.) I won't let her in, sir. I'll send her away. Scott. (Going up and stopping him) You'll do nothing of the sort. You'll let her in. PopHAM. (Surprised) What! Scott. Let her in — say "yes" to everything she asks PoPHAM. But Master Scott Scott. If she has come to see Miraculo — and I believe she has — keep her in the hall until I strike that bell. (Points to bell on table r. c.) Then bring her in here. PoPHA]M. But, Master Scott — this is not fit- ting Sam. Get a move on, Popham. PoPHAM. (With dignity) I am hastening, sir. (He goes out l. c. with his usual stately tread) Sam. (From window) This time she really is coming in. Douglas. (Looking over his shoulder) No — she's lost her nerve again. Thought so. (Walks azvay from windozv to r. of table r. c.) Come on. We've had enough of this foolishness. The girl isn't coming in — (Bell rings off l. c. Scott rushes to door* L. c. and pulls eur tains shut in front of it) Scott. (At door l. c, turning and speaking in a whisper) Now we'll soon know whether or not she's Sylvia Deane. Douglas. But how in the world do you expect to find Scott. (Listening at curtains, and making a mo- Hon for silence) Sh ! Be still a minute. (All three stand listening eagerly) SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 25 Sally. (Ojf l. c.) Is — is this where Miraculo hves ? PoPHAM. (Off L. c.j Ah— ah— yes, Miss. Sally. (Off l. c.) Is he here now? PoPHAM. (Ojf L. c.; Yes, Miss. Sally. (Off l. c.) And will he see me? PopHAM. (Off L. c.j Yes, Miss. Presently, Miss. Just step this way — (^Popham's voice trails off as he takes Sally away) Douglas. Even if she is Sylvia Deane, she won't admit it ■ Scott. Of course she won't admit it. But do you suppose she can talk five minutes to a fortune teller without giving her snap away? Sam. (Excitedly) Scott's right. I wonder if we could hire this Miraculo man to come here and Scott. (Sloivly) I don't think either of you has ever met Miraculo. Allow me to introduce him to you. (Strikes an attitude) How do you do? How do you do? How do you do? (Bows to each of them in turn) Douglas. You'd never dare ! Scott. The young lady came here to find Mira- culo. It would be a shame to disappoint her. Sam. (JVith aduiiration) Mar-velous, Holmes, mar-vel-ous. Scott. Elementary, my dear Watson, ele- menta-y. It won't take me long to get at her secret. Douglas. But you can't tell her fortune in a room like this : she'd be on in a minute. It ought to look — well, sort of oriental. Scott. Well, it zvill before I'm through with it. (Goes R. to piano, points to a hideously grinning Chinese cat on top of it) Look at Clarence, here. He's oriental. 26 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sam. (Picking up tom-tom from binder table l. and beating it wildly) So is this. Scott. (Combing down to l. q.) Put down that tom-tom, Sam. We've just about one minute to rig up a good fortune-teller's den. Get me those portieres — quick ! (Points to door L. Sam runs, unhooks portieres and brings them to ScottJ Get me those, Doug. (Points to door r. Douglas runs, unhooks portieres and brings them to Scott. Scott takes portieres from both of them. He points to the floor directly under the dome-light) Now put some chairs about — one in each corner — and I'll rig up a pavilion, f Sam goes up to door L. c, takes the two chairs on each side of the door and brings than downstage. Meanwhile Douglas gets the two chairs to r. and l. of table r. c. and places them in front of the two chairs Sam has brought, so that the four form a small square directly under dome-light. Standing on the chairs Sam and Douglas take the portieres Scott hands them and hook them onto dome-light, while Scott drapes them over the chairs in such a way that they form a small tent, with an opening left in front. Sam remains in rear, Douglas in front. Much of the effect of this scene zvill depend upon the speed with zuhich these preparations are made) Sam. I see. We're tenting to-night on the old camp ground. Scott. Get the tea-table, Sam. ("Sam gets it and places it in tent) And another chair! (^Sam gets chair back of table r. c. and places it in tent behind table. Douglas is now r. of tent, Scott in front of it, and Sam l. of it) How's that ? Sam. If w'e only had a crystal. Scott. (Snapping his fingers) Crystal! Crystal ball gazer! Get that ink-well, Doug. ("Douglas brings ink-well from table r. c. and Scott places SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 27 it on tea-table inside tent) I'll read things in the ink. You can't beat that for oriental. Douglas. It looks great! (Picks up bell from table R. c.) Shall I ring the bell? Scott. Not on your life! (Takes bell from Douglas and places it on tea-table in tent) There's lots to be done yet. Sam, pull those curtains shut. ("Sam closes curtains in front of zvindow up l. The room is now almost dark) Douglas. I'm afraid Sylvia will be getting mi- patient. Sam. Isn't there some little thing / can do? Scott. Yes. I'll give her somethmg to thmk about, and work up some atmosphere at the same time. Sam, go find some creepy music and play it on the pianola. ("Sam goes upstage and crosses R. to piano. Douglas goes r. and upstage and joins him) Sam. (Hunting among pianola records) How's Chopin's Funeral March ? Scott. The very thing! Shoot! ("Sam starts playing Chopin's Funeral March on pianola, Doug- las removes oriental cover from top of piano, and walks L., back of tent, with it) Now, Doug — the light. ("Douglas comes doum l. to switch and szvitches on light of electric dome. The tent is novj brightly illuminated. Scott goes r. and lights lamp with green shade on table R. c.j Douglas. (Coming c. tozvards Scott and hold- ing np piano cover) Is this any good? Scott. (Coming l. and taking it from him) Just what I wanted. (Drapes cover about his shoulders. Goes to small table l., picks up table cover, and hands it to Douglas, zvho has follozved him L.j There's a shirt for you. It's rather scanty, but you can sit down. 28 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Douglas. (Draping it around his shoulders) What am I ? Scott. You're my menial. Douglas. I wish I had a hat. f Scott turns to small table l. on zMch stands lamp with tzvin shades. Scott takes off both of them, puts one on Douglas' head and one on his ozvn) Scott. There's one Httle hat for you — and one little hat for me. That's enough, Sam. (Crosses Douglas r. and goes to c.) Cut it out and come here. (^Sam stops music, picks up Chinese cat from piano, crosses l., then comes down betzveen Scott and Douglas j Sam. You forgot Clarence. (Places cat on floor, in front of tea-table) Don't I get any little hat? Scott. No. You don't get any little hat. You're having vour fortune told when she comes in. And for heaven's sake, be serious. Sam. I'll make her think you're the greatest fortune-teller in the world. Where do I sit? Scott. (Going into tent and sitting in chair back of tea-table) Right there. (Points to chair l. of tent. Sam di-ags it into a position in front of and a little to L. of tent) Doug, you can get that tom- tom now. We'll add some more atmosphere. (^Sam sits in chair l. of tent. Douglas gets tom- tom from underneath table l., squats down on floor at extreme l., and continues beating tom-tom softh' and monotonously during follozanng scene, ttntil lights are turned up) Sh ! Are we all ready? (^Sam and Douglas nod. After a pause Scott strikes the bell on tea-table. The curtains at door- zvay L. c. are opened from outside and Popham may be seen shozving Sally in) Popham. This way, Miss. (As he sees the room) Oh! Good Lord! (He closes curtains. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 29 leaving Sally in room. She comes dozvn l. c. to a point between Sam and Douglas. She seems frightened and looks round in zi/onder) Scott. (In sepulchral tones, as if telling Sam's fortune. Throughout this scene he uses a foreign accent) The spirits of the dead are all about you. ("Sally, terrified, runs up to doorzcay l. c. but PoPHAM, outside and unseen, slides the door to in her face. She then crosses R. back of tent and comes dozvn R., so that she stands in the light of the green-shaded lamp on table r. c. and R. of table R. c. She listens zvith interest to Scott j Sam. What do they tell you? Scott. You have recently suffered a great financial loss. Sam. Mar-velous. Scott. But do not despair. Great riches are in store for you. Sam. Glorious tidings. Scott. You do not trust the man who leads you. Sam. I do not. Scott. Follow him blindly. He is a man of singular genius. You shall be rich to-morrow. Sam. I never believed in fortune-tellers before, Miraculo, but you're a wonder. I'll never take an- other important step without consulting you. Scott. I am happy that you are so well pleased, Mr. Dingwhistle. Sam. (Rising) Dingwhistle! Scott. Ah, I see you are surprised that I know your name. Do you imagine the spirits would reveal to me all your past life, and leave me in ignorance of your name? Pass out quietly, Mr. Dingwhistle, others wait. ("Sam starts up L. C.) One moment. You have forgotten something. Sam (Turning) Havel? What? Scott. Five dollars, please. 30 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sam. (Indignant) What! Scott. Yes, I consent to receive this trifling gift for my services. (With intense disgust Sam hands over to Scott his last five-dollar bill and goes out L. c.^ sliding door open and drazving curtains shut behind him) And now the young lady — will she please step forward? Sally. (Nervously) Y-y-y-yes, sir. (Crosses L. to position l. of tent) Scott. (Indicating chair l. of tent) Sit down, my child. Please remove your glove. (She sits dozen and removes gloves) I feel that you are in trouble — in perplexity. You did well to come to Miraculo : he can help you. Sally. I'm sure you can — I've heard such won- derful stories about your mystic power. Oh, I do need heln so badly. Scott. Tell me, my child, what disturbs you. There is no trouble Miraculo cannot lighten — no question he cannot answer. Sally. What I want to know is — well, it's about a girl — a girl who has run away from home. I want to know • Scott. (Bending forzvard carjcrly) Yes? Sally. I want to know first if they have found any clues — her uncle or the police — if they know where she is hidden — and if they are going to catch her. And thoi I want to know Scott. You wish to be told, in short, how this young lady may escape from those who seek to catch her. Sally. That's it exactly. And then I want you to tell me Scott. Wait ! Wait until I have passed into the trance — until I have gazed into the — the fluid — Then I will answer all your questions. Sally. Oh, could you tell me my name first? SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 31 As you did with Mr. Ding-whistle. Or even my initials? Scott. Very well. Let me see your hand. (Takes Sally's hand and studies it) Yes — ^your first name — the initial of your first name — it is • Sally. Well ? Scott. It is — "S"? (Looks at her eagerly for confirmation) Sally. That's right ! And the last name ? Scott. (Studying her hand) The last name — Is that a "D"? 'A "D"— or a "T"? I cannot be quite sure until I look into the fluid — but I think it is a "D." Sally. Yes it is! "S. D." That's right. I wouldn't have believed it was possible ! Scott. Before you go, I shall tell you your full name. I feel almost sure of it now — but I prefer always to be positive. Are you ready for the trance ? Sally. Y-y-yes. What am I to do? Scott. Ask me your questions — first about the past, for if I tell you true things of the past, you will more easily believe what I tell you of the future. Sally. I do believe in you. I think you're won- derful — simply wonderful. Scott. Do not be alarmed at anything- I may say or do while gonig into the trance. (^ Scott iHses, elevates ink-well in both hands, places it again on tea-table, goes through several elaborate oriental salaams, and utters heart-rending moans. Sally, frightened, rises; the moaning ceases, and Scott falls back into his chair, gazing straight in front of him zvifh a fixed stare. Sam pokes his head out between curtains of doorzvay l. c, and presently withdraws it) Sally. What do you see? 32 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. Darkness ! Deep, impenetrable dark- ness. Will the clouds never break? — Ah, now they are lightening : I see clearly. Sally. What do you see? Scott. (Rather Jialtingly) I am in a strange cit\ — walking a^ong a street — a paved street. On each side of it are — sidewalks — and — and houses — some on one side — and some on the other Sally. How clear^y he must see it ! What is the name of the citv ? Scott. I don't know — not yet. Wait — along the street comes a man, read"ng a paper — let me look ' — it is "The Harrisburg Herald." Sally. Harrisburg! Oh, wonderful ! Scott. Down the steos of one of the houses comes a girlish figure. In her hand she carries a suitcase • Sally. (Excitedly) Yes ! Yes ! Go on ! Scott. She hurries swiftly along, looking now and then over her shoulder — she seems to fear she is being foPowed Sally. What is she like? Scott. (Casing straight at Sally and obviously describing her, although she is unconscious of this) She is young — and dark — and gloriously beautiful. Her eyes are darker, even, than her hair — and wide, and frank and open. Sally. Yes — she has often been told that she is beautiful. But the house she comes from — de- scribe it. Scott. (In difficulties) It is — it is — quite a big house Sally. That's true ! You are marvelous ! What is the number? Scott. The number? Sally. Yes — the number of the house. ^Sam pokes his head out betzveen curtains of doorway SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 33 L. c, wares neivspapcr which contains this informa- tion, and pantomimes to Douglas necessity of get- ting paper to ScottJ Scott. Ah, yes — the number. Let me see — why, what is this ? The scene fades away ! I can see nothing! (B\ beating tom-tom, Douglas gets Scott's e\e, and pantomimes to Scott that Sam can suppiv the information) Sally. " What's the matter ? Scott. I cannot explain it. I can no longer see the street — Ah ! It is your eyes ! Close them at once ! Sally. My eyes? Scott. They are too bright. They scatter the mists of the past. Shut them tight, I tell you Sally. (Putting her hands over her eyes) They're shut! (^Sam tiptoes down l. c. to l. of tent with newspaper in Jiis hand) Scott. Then keep them shut — until I give you permission to open them. If you disobey me, I cannot read your future. (^Sam passes Scott nezvs- paper through side-curtains of tent, behind Sally) Ah, that is better. I see m.ore clearly now. (Shakes out newspaper and turns over page in effort to find information. Sam starts up tozvard doorway L. c.) Sally. What is that strange, rustling sound? Scott. (In mysterious whisper, shaking nezvs- paper and causing tustUng sound) You hear the trailing garments of my ghostly attendant. (^Sam turns and looks inquiringly tozvard ScottJ Do not open your eyes ! If you were to catch one glimpse of this hideous creature, I would not answer for the consequences, f Sally digs her fists into her eyes, zvhile Sam goes out l. c.) What was it you asked me? Sally. (In frightened zvhisper) The number of the house. 34 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. (Reading from newspaper) Two-forty- six. Sally. Yes ! And the street ? Scott. There is a sign — one moment — and I will read it for you. (Hunts in newspaper) North Front Street. Sally. I never heard of anything so wonderful. fScoTT folds up nezvspaper and places it beneath tea-table) Scott. Nozv, you may open your eyes. The spirits have vanished. Sally. (Opening her eyes) But the girl! Do you know why. she is running away? Scott. To escape from her uncle. Sally. Oh, he has been so mean to her ! Scott. The uncle — her guardian — is a strange man — in many ways. He might even be described as peculiar. He is a man — a man of — well, a mean man! Sally. Indeed he is ! Trying to make her marry a man she simply despises! Scott. And it was to avoid marrying this man Norris that she fled from ]\Ir. Hyde. Sally. (In great surprise) Norris! Hyde! Why then — you know their names! But the girl's name — you don't know that? Scott. (Rising) Oh, yes, I do. Her name is Sylvia Deane! Sally. (Rising) Yes, it is Sylvia Deane. Now tell me — can she escape her uncle? Oh, she won't be caught, will she? Scott. You don't want her to be caught, then? Sally. Oh, mercy, no. I want her to get away. Scott. Why ? Sally. (Frightened by his eagerness) Why, you see — she's — she's — well, she's a very particular friend of mine. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 35 Scott. (Sarcastically) Is she, indeed? Sally. Tell me ! Will she get away ? And then tell me where I can find her Scott. \M11 she escape ? I'll tell you that ! No ! She will not ! She'll be caught ! Sally. Oh, dear ! Scott. She's caught now — at this very moment. We've caught her. We've caught yoii — iov you are Sylvia Deane ! (Points an accusing finger at her. Sally is frightened, screams and runs over r. Scott steps forivard out of tent, c. Sam enters L. c, thrazi's open curtains drazvn in front of win- dow up L. admitting light, then comes down l. Douglas puts tom-tom on small table l. and goes R. to L. of SCOTTJ Sally. AA' hat's happened ! What does this mean ? Scott. It means. Miss Deane, that the missing heiress is found. Sally. But /'m not — Aren't you Miraculo? Scott. No. Sally. Then who are you? Scott and Douglas. (In unison, removing hats and table-covers with a flourish) We — are — de- tectives! Sam. (Going r. to l. of Douglas j I'm one too. (^Scott and Douglas lay hats and table-covers on table R. c.) Sally. (With a cry of fear) Detectives! But Avhat do you want of me? Sam. Young woman, Hyde has offered ten thou- sand dollars for the return of Sylvia Deane. That's what we want — ten thousand. Sally. But I'm not Sylvia Deane. Scott. Why, you admitted yourself that your initials were "S. D." Sally. (Calmly) So they are. My name is Sally Driscoll. 36 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. But — but — you wanted to know how Sylvia Deane could escape! Sally. Of course I did. I wanted to help her. And I thought that you — that Miraculo — could tell me how, and where to find her. Scott. But — but Sally. Oh, it was horrid of you to ^:>lay such a trick on me ! Douglas. If you're not Sylvia Deane. how do you know so much about her? Sally. Because she's my dearest friend. Scott. But how did you know she ran away to get out of marrying this chap Norris ? Sally. Why, she wrote me about it Sam. She wouldn't have to run away to get out of marrying him. Her uncle can't make her marry when she doesn't want to, even if he is her guardian. Sally. Oh, of course he couldn't make her, legally. But he and her aunt — especially her aunt — wanted her to marry him ; and they nagged and nagged at her until, in sheer desperation, she ac- cepted him. Her Aunt Clara's always been just as mean to her ! And of course her Uncle Dan sides with his wife. Scott. But you said she accepted him — did she change her mind? Sally. I should say she did ! She found out he was simply after her fortune — that he had awful debts and wanted her money to pay them. And she told her uncle she'd never marry the man ! But th'^ invitations were all out, and he wouldn't recall them. Said that she'd have to go on with it, un^^il — well, do you wonder that she thought the easiest way out was to run away? Scott. Poor youngster ! What a darned shame. Douglas. Did she tell you — in her letters — where she was going to hide? SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 37 Sally. Oh, she didn't even tell me she was e^oing- to run away. But when I read of it in the papers, I knew the reason at once. And I don't blame her one bit. Sam. Aw, rats! Can't you see she's stringing vou? She's talking about herself. (To SallyJ You don't happen to have that letter with you, do you ? Sally. Why, I don't know — (Looks in hand- hag) — No, I haven't. Sam. Thought not. (Picks up paper from floor under tea-table) Here's her picture — Looks just like her. Sally. (Crosses l. to position between Sam and Douglas, takes paper and looks insulted) I don't see how you can say so. It's nothing but a horrid smear. Scott. (Crosses Douglas l.. takes paper from Sally and reads) "Her hair is very dark and thick, her eyes a dark brown." Sam. (Inspecting her closely) All correct — as per specifications. Scott. She has a dimple in her chin. Sam. It's moved ! Scott. What's moved? Sam. The dimple. It's moved up on her left cheek. Can you beat that — for a dimple? Scott. All correct. She's the girl. Sally. (Nozv thoroughly frightened) But I'm not Sylvia Deane, I tell you. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. (With a sob) I want to go! Sam. Not much ! We're going to keep you here until your uncle comes and gets you. Sally. (Indignantly) It's outrageous. You've made a dreadful mistake. I want you to let me go. (Throws herself into chair l. of tent, sobbing) Scott. (Very uncomfortable) Don't. Please 38 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY don't cry. I can't stand it. We're not going to hurt you. Sally. (Rising) Then let me go. I'm not Sylvia Deane. Honestly I'm not. Please don't keep me here. Scott. I'm sorry — but we've got to. Sally. Oh, listen to me. My name is Sally DriscoU and I live in Buffalo and go to Miss Worth- ington's school for girls on 54th Street. Some of the girls had told me how wonderful Miraculo was and I thought perhaps he could help me to find Sylvia. Call up Miss Worthington's. See if what I say isn't true. Sam. Don't do it, Scott. It's some trick. Scott. (After a pause) ^A'hat's the number? (Crosses Douglas r. and picks up telephone on table R. c.) ' Sally. Oh, thank you. 4076 Plaza. Douglas. That won't prove anything, Scott — even if there is a Sally Driscoll at the school Miss Deane probably knows some of the girls Scott. (At telephone) Hello, central. 4076 Plaza, please. No — 76. (To Sally j For whom shall I ask ? Sally. Why — any of the teachers. Scott. Hello? Miss Worthington's School? I'd like to speak to one of the teachers, please. Oh, yes, Miss Foster. Is there a Miss Sally Dris- coll at the school? There is? Sally. There! (Claps her hands. Scott, at telephone, motions for silence. SJie begins to put on gloves, preparatory to going) Scott. What? Oh, she did. You're quite sure? Thank you. ("Scott hangs up telephone receiver) Sam, Douglas and Sally. Well? Scott. There is a girl at the school named Sally Driscoll. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 39 Sally. I told you ! I'm Sally Driscoll. Scott. But — Sally Driscoll left on the 3 156 this afternoon for Stamford to spend the night with friends. One of the teachers put her on the train and stayed with her until it started. Sally. (With a sigh) Oh, dear! Of course they think I've gone. Scott. Perhaps you had better explain. Sally. Well, Miss Worthington would have a fit if she thought any of us went to fortune-tellers. So I had to plan it on the sly. I zuas going to Stamford — Elinor Francis asked me up for her dance to-night — and you have no idea what a perfectly terrible time I had to get Miss Worthing- ton to let me go. Bu^- of course, as I knew Elinor so well, and her mother and my mother were school girls together • Scott. Never mind your mother and her mother. What about the trio to Stamford? Sally. I planned to take the 3 156 to Stamford, just as Miss Foster told you. Miss^ Tuttle — one of the teachers— "chapped" me down to the train. Of course, she zms going to stay with me until .the train left — but w- met Edi^h Benton — she's Mrs. John Benton of S^amfo^-d. you know — and she told Miss Tuttle she needn't wait, as she'd look after me. Then it seemed such a wonderful chance to see M-raculo that I told Edith I simply had to wait over for the next train. I got away from her somehow, and telegraphed Elinor to meet me on the ne.vt train — (Giqqlcs nervously three times, once at each man, in effort to seem at ease. Sam echoes her giggle sarcastically) Sam. Did you ever hear such a rigmarole? Sally. (Indignantly) Why, every single word of it is true ! Scott. You claim to be Sally Driscoll. Miss 40 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Foster, who ought to know, says Sally Driscoll is in Stamford. You're in New York. And if you're not Sally Driscoll, you're Sylvia Deane. I guess that settles it. Douglas. We'd better telegraph Hyde to come. Scott. With the reward. Sam. In cash. (^ Sally sits in chair l. of tent) Scott. I'm going to put Miss Deane up in my sister's room. We'll have Nora stay with her. Miss Deane, will you give me your word not to try to leave the house until your uncle comes? Sally. No, I won't. I'll do everything I can to get away. Scott. Then we'll have to stand guard all night. AVe can't afford to take any chances. Sam. We won't. Scott. Sam, will you send that telegram? And see the newspapers don't get hold of it. Sam. I'll run over and send it from the Vander- bilt : I know the girl there. But — (Feels in his trousers' pockets) — Don't you think you'd better slip me some money, Miraculo? You took all mine, f Scott crosses Douglas and Sally l. and returns to Sam his five-dollar hill) Scott. Doug, have Nora go up and see that Cornelia's room is ready. Douglas. (Going r.J All right. Scott. Oh, and ask Popham to come in here, will you? Douglas. I'll tell him. (Goes out r. Scott (IOCS up behind tent and begins to take dozvn the curtains zvhich still dangle from the dome- light) Sam. Say, Miss Deane. why were you such a nut as to run away? Might have known you'd get caught. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 41 Sally. T tell you I'm not Miss Deane. Sam. Pretty crabbed sort of guy, old man Hyde, I suppose? Sally. I tell you I don't know. Won't you let me alone? Scott. (Having finished taking down curtains, zvhich he lays on the tzvo rear chairs, comes down betzveen table R. c. and tea-table) Sam, stop hound- ing Miss Deane. She's put up a brave fight. We've caught her — that's enough. (^ Sally takes off coat and hat and lays them on chair to R. rear of her) Sam. I only asked a question. Scott. Well, don't. Sam. Oh, very well. But I'll keep my eye on you to-night. The trouble with you is, you've got one of those sympathetic natures. TSam goes out l. c. ) Scott. Miss Deane, we'll make you as comfort- able as we can. I'm sorry Ave have to keep you here — I'm sorry we caught you. Sally. \\'hy ? Scott. I don't know. (A pause) Nora, the maid, will stay with you to-night, so you need not feel nervous Sally. Thank you. Scott. I'm going to give you my sister Cor- nelia's room. ("Sally sobs) I hope you'll like it. ("Sally sobs) She's a school-girl. too. ("Sally sobs) She goes to Miss Spear's. Sally. (Sitting up in excitement ) Surely not Cornelia Hamilton? Scott. (Sitting opposite her on one of the chairs that had formed a corner of the tent) Yes. Do you know Cornelia ? Sally. I've met her — Christmas before last. Scott. Where ? 42 SYL\'IA RUNS AWAY Sally. (Innocently) In Harrisburg. /^ Scott smiles and Sally puts on her dignity ) I was visit- ing there. Scott. Whom were you visiting? Sally. Why, Sylvia Deane. (Both laugh, Scott rises and goes a fezv steps R.J I know that must sound suspicious — ^to a detective. Scott. Fm not a real detective. Sally. Then don't you think you could let me go? Scott. I — I can't. Sally. (Coldly) Oh. of course not. I had for- gotten the reward. Scott. I wouldn't mind so much for myself. It's for my friends. You see, I got them into this trouble. If it were only for myself — Fd — Vd let you go this minute. ^Popham enters R. } Wouldn't you like to go up to your room ? Sally. Yes. Will you please send the maid to me? PoPHAM. (With cold disapprorai) You sent for me, sir. Scott. Yes. Popham. Miss Deane. here, will be staying until to-morrow Popham. Mr. Lea has told me the circum- stances. I disapprove most strongly, sir. of the entire affair Sally. (Rising eagerly ■ ^h. :Mr. Hamilton, he's right. Let me go ! Scott. Is your disapproval so strong. Popham, that it \\nll prevent you from obeying my orders ? Popham. Ah — no. sir. Scott. Good. Then, if Miss Cornelia's room is ready Popham. Xora has just finished, sir. Scott. Then show Miss Deane up. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 43 PoPHAM. Yes, sir. This way. Miss Deane. (Goes up R., then up stairs and out door at head of stairs) Sally. (Goes up l., then r. to foot of stairs, and turns) Oh, won't you please let me go? Scott. I can't. Sally. (JValks angrily to top of stairs, then turns, with a sob) I hate you. (Goes out door at head of stairs) Scott, (c.) I don't much blame you. TDoug- LAS enters R.) Douglas. Here's Nora. Thought you'd want to talk to her. (^Sylvia enters r., closing door behind her, and crosses Douglas l. to Scottj Sylvl\. ]\Ir. Lea said you wished to see me, sir. Scott. Yes, Nora. There's a young lady here — a — a — friend of my sister's — I want you to look after her — act as a sort of, well, sort of chaperone to her — until to-morrow. Sylvia. (Surprised ) Is she staying the night, sir Scott. Er, — yes. You see, she supposed when she came that Eliza — ]^Irs. Popham — would be here. Her uncle is coming for her — but not until to-mor- row — and so — she has to stay here. Sylvia. Yes, sir. Scott. She's in my sister's room. Run up and do what you can to make her comfortable. Sylvia. (Starting for door r.) I'll go right up, sir. Scott. Oh — just a minute, Nora. Sylvia. (Returning l. to Jiini) Yes, sir? Scott. It's just possible the young lady may make some peculiar statements — don't pay any at- tention to her. She's not always quite clear in her head — like as not she'll want to go out pretty soon 44 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sylvia. You don't mean she's not right here? (She taps her head) Scott. Oh, not exactly that. But she has lapses — mental lapses. That's why we're keeping her here Sylvia. Yes, I see. Poor thing ! I'll do all I can for her, Mr. Scott. Scott. Good. Come on, Doug! (^Douglas crosses Sylvia l. Scott takes his arm and both zvalk L.J JVe'z'e got to decide just hozv we are going to manage to-night, f Scott and Doug- las go out L., Scott still talking. He closes door L. behind him. Sylvia stands a moment watching them off L., with her back to staircase. Sally ap- pears at top of staircase, and comes down- stairs) Sally. (Pleasantly, on the landing, seeing only Sylvia's hack) I suppose this is Nora Sylvia. (Turning tozvards Sally J Yes, Miss. And you are the young lady I am to — (Recognises Sally J — Sally Driscoll ! Sally. Sylvia Deane ! (RusJies dozvnstairs and down c. between tea-table and table r. c. Slie and Sylvia rush into each other's arms and embrace) How in the world do you come to be here? And dressed like a servant? Sylvia. (Putting her hand over Sally's mouth) Hush! They think I a;;/ one. My old nurse Eliza is housekeeper here Sally. And you got her to take you on as a maid ? You are clever ! But you must go away at once Sylvia. No ! I'm going to stay hidden right here — with Eliza — and teach Uncle Dan and Aunt Clara a lesson. Sally. But you can't stay ! The boys have just telegraphed your uncle to come. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 45 Sylvia. Uncle Dan? Coming- here? How did they guess that I'm Sylvia Deane? Sally. They didn't. They think I am. But if you're in the house when your uncle comes, he'd be certain to discover you. You must get away as fast as you can — they won't suspect you. Sylvia. You're right. I'd die of shame if Uncle Dan caught and dragged me home like a naughty child. I don't know where to go — but I'm going! Sally. Hurry ! Take my hat and coat. (Picks lip hat and coat from chair and hurriedly helps Sylvia put them on) Telephone me to-morrow at the school. Good-bye, dear. (Kissing Sylvia J Sylvia. I'll go the back way. (Hurries to door R. and opens it, but Popham enters and bars the way ) Popham. Where are you going, Nora? Sylvia. I — I don't like the place. I'm leaving. (Attempts to pass Popham out door R.j Popham. You can't go to-night. Sylvia. (In a panic) I'll go if I want to. (Rushes to door l. Scott and Douglas enter l. ) Oh, Master Scott — please let me go. Scott. Why, Nora — what's wrong? Sylvia. I don't want to stay ! Scott. Why not? Sylvia. Why, I — I — (Suddenly turning to Sally J — I'm afraid to stay in the house with a crazy person. Scott. Keep still ! She can't stay here entirely unchaperoned. You've got to stay ! Sylvia. (In desperation) I won't. I'm going! (Rushes for door l. c. Sam enters l. c.J Sam. (Sliding door l. c. to, and standing in front of it) No, you don't. We're closed for the night. The curtain falls ACT II Scene: The scene represents the second floor of the Hamilton home. The stage is divided into two rooms of unequal size by a wall, zvhich extends dozvnstage tozvard the footlights, at right angles to the rear wall. This zvall must not be extended too far dozvnstage, or it zvill interfere with the viezv of part of the audience. Well dozvnstage in this dividing zvall is a door which opens to the R. and tozvard the rear wall. The smaller room, on the right, represents Cornelia Hamilton's bedroom. The wood- work is white, the paper light and dainty. In the R. wall, well dozvnstage, is a large window, hung zvith over curtains which are not drawn; and. beneath the zvindozv, a divan, zvHh a copy of "Vogue'' lying on it In the R. rear corner, running along the R. zvall, is a dainty zvhHe bed zvith lace curtains. Against the rear wall of this room is a low, zvhite dressing-table, with a broad mirror and covered zvith toilet articles and feminine knick-knacks. A chair, covered with cretonne, stands before the dress- ing-table. Electric lights are set in brackets about the zvalls and are controlled by a szvitch set in the dividing wall, directly belozv the door in it. The larger room, on the left, represents the upstairs hall. In the l. corner of the rear wall is an open doorzvay, leading to what is supposed to be the top platform of the stair- 46 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 47 case seen in Act I, zvhich is supposed to come lip from L. There is another door in the l. wall, well downstage and opening ontzvard to L. Against the l. zvall stands a massive ward- robe, zvith large doors provided zvith lock and key. Between the zvardrobe and the door down L., hut ser out somezvhat from the l. wall, stands a small table and chair. Against the dividing zvall, directly below the door in it, is set a large comfortable armchair. Electric lights are set in brackets about the walls and are controlled by a szvitch set in the rear wall, just to R. of the doorzmy u. l. Woodwork, furniture and zvall paper are dark and heavy, contrasting zvith the feminine daintiness of the bedroom. As the curtain rises, a clock off-stage is heard striking three. The bedroom, R., is brilliantly lighted, but the hall, l., is dim, zvith only one of the electric zvall-brackets turned on. In the bedroom r. Sally stands zvatch'ing Sylvia, zvho, still in maid's costume, is kneeling at the door in the dividing zvall, zvith her ear to the keyhole, hi the hall, in the armchair dozvn R., PopiiAM lies asleep, snoring lightly. Sylvia. I think he's asleep. Sally. Are you sure? (^Popham snores loudly) Sylvia. Positive! Just Hsten to him snore! ("PoPHAM snores again) Sally. (Clapping her hands softly) This is the very chance we've been waiting for. If you can only pick that lock — (^Sylvia takes hairpin from her hair and sets to work to pick lock) — and get the. door open, we may be able to slip out of the house. Sylvia. (Working away at lock with hairpin) I can't seem to move it ! 48 SYLVIA RUXS AWAY Sally. Oh, \'ou must! I wonder who's outside? S\x\TA. (Trying to squint through keyhole) I can't see a thing. S-\LLY. I think it's Douglas Lea. /^Popham snores loudly) Syl\ta. (Angrily) It's not ! I'm sure he doesn't snore like that. It's probably Scott Hamilton. ("PoPHAM again snores loudly) Sally. (Angrily) It's not. S^"L\"iA. Oh, dear! I'ac broken my hairpin. It isn't strong enough. Sally. (Bringing Syixia button-hook from dressing-table ) Try this button-hook. f^S\x\^A throzL'S doum broken hairpin, takes button-hook, while Sally turns r. and looks out irindow) Svhna ! Don't you suppose, if I were to open the window and scream with all my might S^XYLA. (Rushing r. to her) Xo ! X'o ! You mustn't ! Sally. But someone might hear us and come and let us out. SYL^^A. Ye- — ^probably a policeman. He'd arrest me and send me straisrht home to L'ncle Dan. Sally. Oh. dear! That's true. S^x^^A. (Going l. to dividing door and starting to zvork again on lock w'fh button-hook ) I think I can op>en it with this. Sally. Oh. do tTy\ Syhia, we're going to get you out of here before your uncle comes. S^-LM^A. (Forcing lock) I'yc got it. ^S^x\x\ opens diziding door quietly. Sally comes to door- way) S.\LLY. (JVhlsperinq) Popham! And fast asleep. This is luck. Come now. careful ! (Clos- ing diziding door quietly behind them, they tiptoe cautiouslr tozL^ard door u. L. Just before they reach it Popham awakens and rushes after them) SYL\^TA RUXS AWAY .49 PoPHAM. (In hud z'oice) What's this? Oh, Nora, Nora — this will never do. (He seizes each by the hand and hrijigs them downstage, Sally on L., Sylvia 011 r.) Sylvl\. Oh, Popham. hush. Don't call. Help us. Sally. Oh, please, Popham. Sylvia. Please. Sally. Please. Douglas. (Enters l., blowing whistle) Pop- ham ! \\'hat do you mean by letting them out ? Popham. I let them out? Indeed, Mr. Lea, I did no such thing. They came out. Scott. (Enters u. l. and switches on lights in hall) What's the matter? AMio let them out? Douglas. Popham. Scott. Didn't I tell you to watch? Sam. (Enters u. l. aiid comes to r. of Scott) What's wrong? \\'ho let them out? Scott and Douglas. Popham. Popham. Oh, ^Mr. Graham — oh, ^Ir. Lea — oh, IMaster Scott — I did not! (Doorbell rings off) Scott. Oh, go answer the bell. It's all you're fit for. (^Popham goes out u. l.) Sam. They've joined forces against us. Wonder how the deuce they got out? (Goes R. to dividing door) I locked the door myself — and here's the key. (Takes key from his pocket and holds it up. Then, stooping dozvn, he picks up broken hairpin from floor and comes c.) So you picked the. lock, did you ? Scott. (Taking hairpin from Samj A hairpin ! That was clever. Douglas. Popham's no earthly use. He was talking to them as sociable as you please. Sam. We can't trust him. And, see here, you Nora ! You're put here to watch that girl. 50 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY PoPHAM. (Enters u. l. zmth telegram, comes dozen to L. of Scott J A telegram for Mr. Hamil- ton. Douglas. I'll bet it's from Hyde. Scott. (Opening telegram) It is from Hyde. Sam. What does he say? Scott. It's from Philadelphia ! He's on his way here now. (Reading) "Arrive New York 4.10 A. M. Hang on to the girl. Daniel Hyde." Sam. You bet we'll hang on to her. PoPHAM. And Avhat shall I do now, Master Scott? Scott. (Angrily) What do I care zuhat you do? Clear out! (^Popham goes out u. L.j Sam. (To SallyJ Listen! We're going to keep you here until Hyde comes. You needn't. think you're going to get away. The next time you try it, I'll— ni— Sally. What will you do? You dare not do anything. Scott. (Crossing r. to Sallyj Oh, yes, we do. I've got it, Sam. Every time they try to escape, they've got to pay a penalty. Sally. You are going to fine us? Scott. Yes. For each attempt to escape, you will be fined — one kiss. Sally. Oh, how dreadful! Sam. Scott, you certainly are there with the ideas. Sally. I thought you were gentlemen ! Scott. Oh, za'e shan't try to kiss you — unless you try to escape. If you do — it will be your fault, not ours. Sam. Miss Deane has made one attempt to escape and therefore owes me one. (Crosses R. to Sally, intending to kiss her) Scott. (Angrily flinging himself at Sam and SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 51 throtving him hack to L.j What do you mean? How dare you Sam. Ain't it a penalty? Scott. For any future attempts, yes. But not now. Sam. Well, it ain't any pleasure to me. I just looked on it as a disag^reeable duty. Sally. (Indignantly) If you have quite fin- ished with us, we will leave you. Come, Nora. Sam. (Crossing r. to Sallyj Now, Nora, re- member we're paying- your wages — not this girl. So you ought to look after our interests. And I warn you, if she gets away, you'll lose your job. Douglas. (Crossing r. to Samj Stop bullying Nora. I won't have it! Sam. (To girls) Come, now, in you go. And if that lock's picked again, I'll — (Ferociously) — I'll take away all your hairpins. Sally. Oh ! (Follows Sylvia through dividing door and slants it. Sam locks it again and puts kev in his pocket. Both girls appear very much de- pressed ) Sam. (To Scott and Douglas) You stay here. I'm going to watch outside. (Goes out u. l. In room R. Sylvia has been in tears, zuith Sally com- forting her. While the girls converse, Scott and Douglas, in room l., talk in loiv tones together. During pauses in conversation in room r., such fragments of conversation between Douglas and Scott may be heard as ''wonderful girls'' ''beauty," "the very moment I sazv her," etc.) Sally. (Goes to window down r., opens it and leans out) Sylvia, come here ! There's a little shed out here not five feet below the window. Sylvia. Yes, the laundry. Well? Sally. I believe we could manage to get down 52 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY to the ground by it. There's a treUis, and vines up the sides. Sylvia. (Joining Sally at ivindozv) Why, so there is! (Looks out zvindoiv, hut drazvs back with shudder) Oh, but Sally, dear, I'm sure I should fall. Sally. You've got to risk it. Sylvia. It's awfully far down. Sally. Yes, there isn't much to hold on by. Sylvia. If we only had a ladder Sally. I've got it ! We'll tie the sheets to- gether. I read about it in a book once — (Rushes to bed and begins to tie sheets, blankets and pillow- cases together. Sylvia grasps idea and hastens to help her) Sylvia. Splendid ! Scott. (In room l., taking out cigarette) Miss Deane ! (The girls pantomime their fear that their plan has been discovered) Scott. Miss Deane ! Sally. (After a pause) Yes? Scott. Do you mind if I smoke? (The girls pantomime their relief) Sally. (Giggling softly) It is a matter of per- fect indifference to me zvhat you do. (^ Scott sighs sadly. He and Douglas light cigarettes. The girls in room r. bustle round speedily but quietly, tie sheets together, tie one end to post at foot of bed and drop other end out zvindozv) Sally. Now, Sylvia, hurry ! I'll follow you. Sylvia. (Looking fearfully out zvindozv) It makes me dizzy, just to look. Sally, I can't do it. Sally. Of course you can ! Come — I'll go first, to show you how easy it is. (Seats herself on zvin- dow-sill and grips rope ladder in both hands ) Sylvia. Careful, now, dear. Don't fall, please don't fall! SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 53 Sally. (Her teeth chattering) It's — it's aw- fu'ly — far Sylvia. Don't go all the way at once, Sally — and don't go fast. Stop on the shed and rest. Sally. I'm going. (Holding rope tightly, she lowers herself until she touches shed roof zvith her feet. It is supposed to he only about four feet helow win dozv- sill, and as she stands on it, she can be seen through zvindow) Sylvia. What's the matter? Sally. I'm on the shed. It's easier than I thought. (Disappears from viezv along shed, then suddenly gives loud scream) Sylvia. W^hat is it? Sally. (Reappearing at ivindozv) Someone — • climbing up the trellis. Help ! Help ! Pull me back. (^Sylvia seizes her arms and endeavors to drag her back through windozv. Sally''s screams have been heard by Scott and Douglas in room l. They rush to dividing door, beat upon it and try to open it, but find it locked) Douglas. What's happened? Scott. What's the matter? (Sam appears upon shed, framed in opening of zvindozv, beside SallyJ Sam. Thought you'd get by me, did you? Well, don't try it again, unless you want to pay another penalty. (Kisses her on cheek in very business-like zuay. Sally screams and slaps him. Sylvia screams. Scott and Douglas batter at dividing door) Scott. Sally ! Sally ! Dolxlas. Nora ! (Rushes to door u. L., whist- ling and calling) Sam! Sam! Bring the key! Sam. (To SallyJ Get back into the room! (^Sylvia pulls Sally into room r., and Sam fol- lozvs, leaving windozv open. Sam opens dividing door zvith key, zuhich he leaves in lock, and zvalks 54 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY into hall l., to astonishment of Scott and Doug- las. Sally and Sylvia follow Sam into hall L.j 'Scott, (c.) Sam! Where did you come from? Sam. In the window. Found Miss Deane going out. Just in time. Sally. He kissed me! He kissed me! Scott. Sam, did you dare kiss that girl? Sam. Sure. She tried to escape. I had a per- fect right to. Scott, Who cares about your right f You Ou^ht to be ashamed of yourself. Sam. WeW, what are you going to do about it? You proposed the kissing, / didn't. (Go^<; up stage ^ Sally. (Crosshig l. to ScottJ Yes. it's all yOur fault. You shouldn't have proposed anything so dreadful. (Crosses back rJ Scott. I Avarned you. (Crosses R. to Sally) You owe on^ kiss to Mr. Lea and one to me. Mr. Graham, I take it, has already collected his. Sally. (Rubbing her month angrily) I should say he has ! Douglas. Nora, you're in this, too. You ow^ a kiss apiece to Mr. Hamilton and me. Is the debt to Mr. Graham paid? Sylvia. No, it is not. And I advise ^NFr. Grahriiii not to try to take it. Sam. (Comhig down) Oh, I don't want to ki- a servant! (Crosses l. Douglas stops him ) Douglas. If you don't stop insulting Nora, Sam. I'm not going to kiss her — that's flat. H you think so much of her, I'll sign my kiss over to you. Douglas. Good! Any more of the same of- fered? (Crosses Sam r. to Scott) Scott. Yes, I'll trade my kiss from Nora fo- yours from Miss Dean^. Douglas. Done! I'd like to corner the market. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 55 , Sylvia. You ought to be ashamed of yourself — and me a nice, respectable servant girl — (Crosses Sally and Scott l. to Douglas j Sally. I hate you, Scott Hamilton, I bate you. Scott. ( Going -r. to SallyJ Miss Deane, I hokl options on all your k'ss^'^, hv^ T cancel the chlv . You little silly, did you think I'd kiss you — against your will? While you're my prisoner? Sally. (Imptdsively) Oh, you are a nice boy! I knezv you were ! Douglas. (To Sylvia j I would not think of taking such a liberty, Nora. It was only a joke. Sam. I got mine ! Sally. (To Scott) You're as generous n-^ can be. I'll show vou I can be generous too. (Takes pencil and card fro^'i handbaq and scribbles on card. She gives :t to Scott and goes r. to dividing door ) Scott. V'hp^'s th'"^ (R^ads from card) "I. O. U.— On- ki^s. S-^^iy D-ico^:" You darling! (Rushes R. toward Sally, but she runs in room r., slamming dividing door in h's face) Sam. Come, No!-a. Get in there! (^Douglas leads Sylvia to dividing door and she goes in, Scott going np as t^iey move r. Sam goes up l. and calls) Ponham ! (In room r. Sally has gone R. and sat down on divan under windozv down R. Sylvia goes up, gets chair in front of dressing- table, brings it down and places it bv foot of bed) Scott. I'm afraid we can't trust Nora any more. She's evidently doine a'l she can to help Sallv. Sam. I never did trust her. (^Douglas glares r-f him) But we've got to have someone with Miss Deane. Scott, f faking key from dividing door, which he closes, and putting it in his pocket) Not much use of locking the door. (^Popham enters u. lJ PoPHAM. You called me, sir? 56 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. (Crossing Douglas l.) ^ Popham, Tm going to give you one more chance. Sam. But if anything else happens — call us! Scott. We'll take the same stations as before. Come on, Sam. ("Sam goes out u. l. and Scott follozi's him. Douglas goes out down l. Popham crosses r. and sits in armchair down r.J Sally. No use. Sylvia. Four men against two girls ! Sally. But men are naturally stupid. Two girls like us ought to be able to outwit them. Sylvia. But how? Sally. (After a little pause) Sylvia — I have the most wonderful plan. Sylvia. What? Sally. A sure plan for your escape. Sylvia. Tell me quick. Sally. Pm going to pretend that you've been impudent — and complain about you to Scott. When he comes up you must say the most awful things Sylvia. And maybe he'll discharge me ! Sally. Don't you see? Sylvia. (Clapping her hands) Good! I can be awfully impudent when I try. Sally. (Rising) Well, do your worst. (Goes to door in dividing zvall and opens it) Popham ! Popham. (Leaping nervously to his feet and facing dividing door) It's no use asking me to let 3^ou go. Miss. I'd never dare. Master Scott would fairly flay me alive. Sylvia. Oh, Popham, you poor, frightened old simp, wake up and show some pep. Popham. Nora! I'll tell Eliza of your remarks, and she won't let you stay. Sylvia. Mind your own business ! You and "Sally" here make me weary. Sally. Do you hear that, Popham? She calls SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 57 me "Sally," instead of ''Miss Sally," as she should. I won't stand any more of her im- pudence. Ask Mr. Hamilton to come here at once. Sylvia. Hurry, you old idiot ! Tell him I'm tired of waiting on "Loony Lulu." Sally. How dare you ! PoPHAM. Nora! Off you shall pack as soon as Miss Deane's guardian comes. fPoPHAM hastens out u. l.) Sally. (Embracing Sylvia j See! It's begun to work already. Sylvia. I haven't begun yet. Just wait until I get started. ('Scott enters u. l. and comes down R. toward dividing door) Scott. You sent for me? Sally. Yes, Mr. Hamilton. I don't think I can put up with Nora's impudence any longer. (^Doug- las enters l. Sally starts to come through divid- ing door from room r. to hall l., but as she gets to door, Sylvia jostles her violently, pushes her out of the zuay and passes through door into hall L. ahead of her. Sally follozvs her into hall l.) Nora, you dreadful girl, stop. Sylvia. Oh, shut up, Sally! Scott. (Shocked) Nora! How can you! Have you no manners? Sylvia. Honest, Master Scott, it gets on my nerves waiting on a nut like her. Sally. How dare you call me such insulting names? Sylvia. Why, Master Scott himself told me you were cracked. Sally. Mr. Hamilton! Did you say that? Scott. No ! No ! Of course not. SvLVhA. Oh, now, Master Scott, quit crawling. You know vou did ! 58 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Douglas. Of course you did, Scott. You can't blame Nora. Scott. But, Sally — Miss Deane — it was only a blind — I had to give her some explanation of why you were here Sylvia. Yes, I think myself it needs some ex- plaining. Sally. (Weeping) Oh, of course, if you back her up and encourage her to insult me Scott. But I don't. (Turning to Sylvia j Miss Deane is as sane as I am. Sylvia. (Tossing her head) Well, she might be that, and still have more than one screw loose. ('Douglas bursts out laughing) Sally. (To Scott J Now, perhaps, you'll real- ize that she's a horrid, impudent, ill-bred little thing. Sylvia. Pooh ! I don't mind that little snip. Sally. To think of being insulted by a menial. Douglas. (Angrily) A menial ! That's going it pretty strong. Nora, you're right. She is a snip. Scott. Shut up, Doug, she's not ! Sally. Mr. Lea has been paying her too much attention. He treats her as an equal — and it's quite turned her silly, little head. Douglas. (In angry protest) Miss Deane ! Sylvia. (To Sally J If anybody's head is turned it's yours. Yes, and I know who has turned it! Sally. W^hat you need is a good slapping — and I've a mind to give it to you. (Goes angrily l. to Sylvia j Sylvia. Don't you dare lay a finger on me ! You'll get the worst of it if you start anything. Sally. Mr. Hamilton, I appeal to you. I want you to discharge that girl at once ! SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 59 Scott. She deserves it — but how can I? You must have some sort of a chaperone Sally. Nonsense ! Who ever heard of a servant girl for a chaperone? Besides, I don't need one. I trust you absolutely. Scott. Miss Deane, trv to put up with her until your uncle comes. (To SylviaJ Nora, this time I'll overlook it, but the next impudent word you say, out you go! ("Sally and Sylvia exchange pleased glances) And you must stop calling Miss Deane "Sally." Sylvia. I'll call her anything I please! Pretty fresh, her breezing into the house as bold as brass. Master Scott, she's setting her cap at you. Sally. (To Scott; Are you going to stand there and let her insult me? Scott. Oh, Miss Deane, I wouldn't have had this happen for the world. (To Sylviaj Nora! Pack your things and leave this house at once. You're discharged! Sylvia. (Going toward door u. L.j Veiy well. You ought to give me a week's pay, but I don't like the place anyhow Scott. Not another word ! Go ! . Douglas. (Goes up,, seises Sylvia by right wrist, thus preventing her from leaving, and turns to Scott; Stop, Scott. This is all Miss Deane's fault. I won't have Nora discharged. Scott. This is my afifair. She's my maid— in myj house — and I'll discharge her if I wish. Nora, go! Douglas. (Holding Sylvia; Nora, don't budge an inch! Sylvia. Thank you for taking my part. Mr. Lea, but I won't stay where I'm not wanted. (Tries to break away, but Douglas pulls her back. She shows chagrin at this unexpected development) 6o SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Douglas. (Soothingly) Indeed you're not going. Scott didn't mean it ! Scott. I did, too. Nora, go! Douglas. You sha'n't go! (^ Scott intervenes, grasping Douglas' arm- and holding him finnly. They squabble, Sylvia breaks away from Douglas and, zvaving her hand in farezvell to Sally, who shozvs her delight, she runs for doorzvay u. l., bumping into Sam^ who enters there. He grasps her arm and pulls her back into hall) Sam. (Coming down l._, with Sylvia on his h.) Trying to get away again? Not from me. Scott. No. She's been impudent to Miss Deane and I discharged her. Douglas. I won't have her discharged. Scott It's none of Doug's business. Sam. Of course it is. My business, too. We can't leave Miss Deane without some sort of chaperone. Scott. But she says she doesn't want a chaper- one. Sally. No, I don't. Sylvia. (Maliciously) I'm bound you don't. Scott. Nora ! Be still ! ! Sam. (Bluntly, to Scott j I don't care \vhat she wants or what you want, but what would Hyde say if we had no chaperone for his niece? Scott. Of course ! I forgot. You're right — absolutely right. I'm sorry, Miss Deane, but Nora will have to stay with you until your uncle comes. Sally. Another indignity. (Goes angrily through dividing door into room r.^ and over r. to divan, where she sits) Sylvia. But I don't want to stay and submit to such treatment. Sam. AMio asked you what you want? Get back into that room ! SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 6i Sylvia. (Crosses three boys r. and goes to divid- ing door) This is the worst place I ever had ! (She goes into room R., slams door behind her, and goes R. to chair, where she sits) Scott. Doug, I guess you and I had better watch here in fifteen-minute shifts. Sam. All right ! I'll watch outside. Scott. I'll take first shift. Sam. Whistle if they try to slip anything over. Scott. You bet we will, f Sam and Douglas go out u. L. Scott goes l., sits at chair in front of table, opens drawer of table, takes out pack of cards and begins to play solitaire) Sylvia. ( In room r.) Oh, it's maddening! One minute more — and I'd have been out of the house. Sally. It was perfectly tragic. (Irrelevantly) Isn't he good-looking? Sylvia. Yes, Douglas Lea is one of the hand- somest men I ever saw. Sally. (Contemptuously ) I mean Scott. Douglas Lea isn't a bit good-looking. Sylvia. Why, Sally, he is so. Sally. Anyway, he spoiled our perfectly good plan. You'd be gone now if he hadn't interfered. The mean thing!! Sylvia. Don't you talk like that about him. Of course I'm heart-broken over our failure — but it was simply sweet of him to take my part. Sally. (Shrugging her shoulders) Oh, well, if you're in love with the man ! Sylvia. (Laughing) My dear, you know you're crazy over Scott. Sally. I am not. (A pause) Well, what if I am? He's been perfectly heavenly to me. Hon- estly, Sylvia, do you care for Douglas? f Sylvia smiles shyly, and nods her head affirmatively) Oh, how romantic ! And he thinks you're only a ser- 62 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY vant. Sylvia ! He might help you. If he loves you — why don't you tell him who you really are? Sylvia. No ! No ! I can't be sure he does. Why don't you ask Scott to let you go? Sally. I did ask him once, and he wouldn't. Sylvia. But that was ever so long ago. I be- lieve he would — now. Sally. My dear, it doesn't matter so much about me. The important thing is to get you out of the house. Sylvia. But don't you see? They're only keep- ing me here as a sort of chaperone for you. If you got away, they'd be willing to let me go. Sally. That's true. Sylvia. Oh, go on, Sally, try it ! I know Scott's wild about you. Sally. (Eagerly) Do you think so? Sylvia. Anyone could see that. (^ Sally rapturously embraces her) Try it, Sally — for my sake! For if you get away, of course they'll let tne go. Sally. Very well. But I'm sure he doesn't care — as much — about me — as you think. Sylvia. We shall see. (^ Sally opens dividing door and steps into hall r. Sylvia follows her to door, ziith obvious intention of listening to con- versation. Scott, startled, leaps to his feet) Sally. May I talk to you a moment? Scott. No, yes. That is, please do. I've been crazy to talk to you but I didn't want to intrude. Won't you sit down? (^Sally looks in room r., sees Sylvia listening, then, with cool glance at her, closes dividing door in her face. Sylvia makes gesture of annoyance and, going over r. to window, picks up copy of ''Vogue" which lies there. Sally sits in armchair down RJ SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 63 Scott. (Impulsively) I want to tell you, Miss Deane Sally. Driscoll, please. Scott. You still insist Sally. I've told you from the first I am Sally Driscoll. Scott. But if you aren't Sylvia Deane, why try to escape? Mr. Hyde will be here soon. And then, if you're not his niece, we'll let you go. Sally. I know how suspicious it sounds. For someone else's sake I must get away before Mr. Hyde comes. I wish I could explain, but I can't — for the secret is not my own. (A pause) Some day, you'll know — and then, I hope, you'll forgive me. Scott. Forgive youf Can you ever forgive mef I can never forgive myself. Miss Deane — Miss Driscoll, our pursuit of you started as a joke — a foolish, miserable joke — that's the trouble with me — I've always taken everything as a joke — even my business — but now I'm serious — dead serious. I don't care if you are Sylvia Deane — please forgive me. Sally. There's nothing to forgive. You have been very kind. Scott. But you said you — hated me. Sally. Of course I said that — and treated you abominably. But surely you took that as a joke? Scott. No, I didn't. Sally. I'm afraid you don't understand girls very well. Scott. I don't. They never mean what they say or say what they mean. Sally. (Laughing ) Why, I think you under- stand them very well. Scott. Then when you said you hated me, you didn't mean — vou did mean ? 64 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sally. (Laughing provokingly) Oh, but don't make a rule of it. Girls are never consist- ent. Scott. (Desperately) Then how can I under- stand you? Sally. (Shaking her head, with a smile) How can I tell? We do not always understand our- selves. Scott. But I zvant to understand you. I never cared before. Is it quite hopeless? Sally. (Rather dreamily) There comes one day someone who does understand us, who breaks through the barriers we half-unconsciously raise in his path ; who sees, glimmering through our silly, idle chatter, the real "us" whom perhaps even we ourselves have never known before. He understands us, and through him — we understand ourselves. When we are kiddies we call him the fairy prince. When we are older — (After a long pause) — Do you still think I am Sylvia Deane? Scott. I don't want to think so. If you could only explain ! Sally. Yes, anyone would believe me then. I know that not one in a thousand — ten thousand — would believe me with every shred of evidence pointing the other way. And yet, I thought that perhaps you might look beyond the appearances that are so dreadfully against me ; might read the real truth in my eyes. Look at me. I am not Sylvia Deane. (Leans forward and looks Scott fear- lessly in the eyes) Scott. (Gazing into her face) I do believe you. Against appearances, against my own common sense. You say you are not Sylvia Deane. I be- lieve you. You can go. Sally. Then I was not mistaken. You are the one man — in ten thousand — '— SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 65 Scott. TU take you, myself, wherever you want to go. Sally. But your friends? Scott. I'll explain to them that we've made a mistake. You've convinced me you're not Sylvia Deane. I thhik I can convince them. (Blows liis zvhistle loudly) Sally. (After a moment's pause) Then I can really go? Scott. Yes. I'll explain to the boys. (^Sylvia, hearing sound of whistle, comes to dividing door and opens it. Sam and Douglas rush in u. l. and come dozvn, Douglas l. of Sam J Sam. Have they tried it again? Scott. Boys, I've something to tell you. We've made a frightful mistake. Miss Driscoll has con- vinced me that she is not Miss Deane. I've prom- ised to let her go at once. Sam. (Crossing Douglas l.J Oh — no — no. You may believe her — I don't. Scott. I do believe her, and I've made her a promise. You're not going to stop me from keep^* ing it? Sam. You guessed it, Scott. We are. Scott. Doug, you'll stand by me? Douglas. No, Scottie, not in this. Sam. Two to one, Scott. You're over-ruled. We're going to pull this deal off even if we have to lock you up. ScoTT. And I thought you'd go the limit for me. Oh, Miss Driscoll, I'm disappointed and ashamed. I made you a promise — and now I can't make good. Sally. Don't feel badly. I know you meant to let me go — you've done all you could. Most of all, you've believed me. ScoTr. I do. (^Sylvta goes back into room r._, 66 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY follozved by Sally, who closes dividing door. Sylvia sits on divan r., Sally on chair r., both dejected) Sam. Now, Doug, you watch up here. Scott. (Angrily, taking out his watch and look- ing at it) You'll do nothing of the sort. There's three minutes more of my watch left — and I mean to take it. Douglas. He wants to talk to her. Sam. I don't care how much he talks, but keep your eyes peeled. I believe he'd double-cross us. fSAM and Douglas go out door u. L.j Scott. (Going quickly r. to dividing door and tapping) Miss Driscoll — Miss Driscoll — Sally! (^Sally rises, opens dividhig door and comes into hall L.J When I say a thing, I mean it. I prom- ised you should go and I'm going to make that promise good. Sally. But how can you? Scott. I'm going to play burglar! Sally. Burglar ? Scott. Yes. Four or five houses near here have been broken into during the last two weeks, and as soon as my watch is up, I'm going to play burglar. (Goes to zvardrobe and opens ivardrobe door) I've a mask here somewhere — and a re- volver. Sally. (Clapping her hands over her ears) Oh, no shooting. I'd be scared to death. Scott. (Pulling a revolver out of zvardrobe and holding it up ) They'll only be blanks. Doug will be guarding the hall, and I'm going to hold him up. Scream for all you are worth — that will bring Sam up with a rush. I'll fire, and in the confusion, you must escape. Down the stairs — out the front door — you know the way. Sally. Yes — yes. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 67 Scott. Where the deuce is that mask? (Hunt- ing about in wardrobe) I had it for the Comedy Chib show, and — ah, here it is ! (Finds it and holds it up to his face) Did you ever see a more fero- cious-lookino^ burglar? Aren't you afraid of me? Sally. (Laughing ) Not a bit. Scott. You must put out the lights in your room. Then Doug won't see you come out. Sally. But won't he stop me at the door? (Points to dividing door) Scott. We must get him away from the door. I wonder if Nora — but she wouldn't help you. Sally. (Laughing ) Indeed she would. We've made up. Nora ! Sylvia. (Rises, goes to dividing door, opens it, comes into hall l. and closes door) Yes, what is it? Sally. Scott is going to help me get away. You can help us. (At tJiis moment, the room r. being empty. The Burglar apf^cars at ivindozv doimi r., standing on laundry roof. He wears a mask and carries a revolver in h's hand. Seeing that room r. is empty, he removes his mask, shozving features of a young fellozv of about eighteen, and starts very slowly to raise himself up into room) Scott. Can we trust her? Sally. (Laughing ) She's as anxious for me to g^i away as you are. Scott. Then, Nora, you must manage to get Doug away from this door, so that Miss DriscoU will have a clear road to the stairs. She will ex- plain the plan Sylvia. I understand. (She goes to dividing door, opens it, but turns to l. to' hear rest of con- versation. The Burglar, seeing dividing door open, dodges quickly out of windozv and completely out of sight) Sally. I don't know how to thank you. 68 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. You might let me hear from you — see you- Sally. Oh, I will, you may be sure- ScoTT. Hush ! Here comes Doug. My watch is up. Good-bye — and good luck! f Sylvia and then Sally enter room r. through dividing door, Sally closing door behind her. Sally talks to Sylvia in zvhispers. Sylvia nods her comprehension. ScoTT, in hall l., drops into armchair dozvn r., pre- tending to yazvn as Douglas enters u. l.J Douglas. (Coming dozvn r.) Time's up, Scottie. I watch here and you take the first floor. Scott. (Rising) All right, f Scott goes out V. L. Douglas sits in armchair dozvn R.j Sally. (In room r., to Sylviaj You're sure you understand? Sylvia. Yes, yes. Sally. Get Douglas away from the door. As soon as Sam comes, Scott fires and I escape. And then they'll let you go. I'll meet you at Miss Vv'orth- ington's. f Sylvia nods, opens dividing door and goes into hall l. Douglas rises as she does so. Sally stands by dividing door, intending to listen, but Sylvia shuts door in her face. Sally szvitches out lights in room r., goes upstage and sits on bed, half hidden by bed curtains) Douglas. Hello, Nora. Anything the matter? Sylvia. No. I — I just wanted to talk to you. Douglas. Good ! No wonder you want to get away from that disagreeable girl. Sylvia. Miss — Deane? She's not disagreeable. Douglas. I've no patience with her. I can't forget the things she said to you. (Syuvw is gradually drazving him over l., azvay from dividing door) Sylvia. That was my own fault. Mr. Lea. she's just been telling me about herself — and I feel so SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 69 sorry for her. I think you would, too — if you understood. I think you'd want to let her go. Douglas. Let her go? I should say not. Why, Nora, she's a regular little idiot. No girl with a grain of sense would run away from home. Sylvia. Maybe you think not. I suppose it wasn't very wise — perhaps it was silly — and flighty. But remember that she was very unhappy — that her father and mother are dead — and that her aunt and uncle — well, they weren't very kind to her. /The Burglar appears in window dozvn r., masked, with electric torch and revolver. He does not see Sally, who is behind bed curtains) DoL^GLAS. Oh, no doubt she has plenty of ex- cuses. But I've no sympathy with her. Now you would never have done such a silly thing. Sylvia. Ah, I'm afraid I would. Try to imagine me in her place — all alone — no one to go to for help. If she'd had some good friend — like you — to advise her, she might have behaved dififerently. And now you're going to turn her over to her guardian, who wanted her to marry a man she hated (The Burglar climbs into room r.) Douglas. (Impatiently) A girl with no more sense than to run away needs a guardian — and the kindest thing we can do is to hand her over to him. (^Sylvia begins to cry. The Burglar goes l. to dividing door and looks through keyhole) Why, Nora ! You're crvn'ng ! My dear girl, you mustn't — Avhat's the matter? ("Sally sees The Burglar, but thinks he is Scott. She rises and tiptoes over L. behind him) Sylvia. (Weeping) You're — You're so un- just Douglas. But listen to me, dear (Tries to 7G SYLVIA RUNS AWAY comfort her. She zvalks still further over l. ayid he follows her, thus giving Sally a clear road to doorway u. l. Sally seizes from The Burglar's right hand, zvhich hangs at his side, his rci'olver, and holds him up, laughing. The Burglar ra'ses his hands in astonishment ) Oh, Sco^t, I'm not afraid of your old blanks ! (Holds her finger to her lips and indicates by nod of her head that there is somebody in hall l. The Burglar, frightened, makes a dash r., ahoz'e her, but bumps into chair at foot of bed, making a loud no'se. Sally, in pantomime, cautions h'^m, to be quiet) Douglas. (In hall l. j V^hat was that? Sylvia. (Trying to divert him) I didn't hear anything. Sally. (In room r., to The Burglar) Hush! Hush ! They'll hear you. Oh, you're a perfect darling, and I'll never forget you. And I'm g^oing to pay my debt right now. (Leans over and kisses him I'ghtly. In astonishment The Burglar sinks into chair) The Burglar. Hully gee ! Douglas. (In hall L.j I knezv I heard some- thing. Miss Dean^'s up to her tricks again. Miss Deane! (Walks r. toward dividing door) Sally. (In room r.. /;/ whisper) Oh, he's com- ing. .Be Quiet ! I'll hide you! (Takes quilt from foot of bed, throzvs it over chair and The Burglar, and stands to l. of chair. She conceals revolver by holding it behind her back) What is it? f'DouG- las opens dividing door and steps into room r. Sylvia follozvs him r. to dividing door, but does not go through it) Douglas. (Szvitchinq on Vqhts in room r. j What are you up to? Why did you turn out the lights ? SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 71. Sally. (Haughtily) Because T wanted to. Have you any objections? Douglas. No. I beg your pardon. (Starts to leave room r., but sees chair zi'itJi quilt thrown over it) Hello! What have you got there? Sally. (Trying to divert his attention and look- ing up at ceiling) Where? Douglas. (Pointing to chair in which The Burglar is hidden) Under that bedspread. Sally. Why, I simply threw it over th^^ chair. Douglas. There's somebody under th-^*^ bed- spread. (He crosses Sally r. and pulls off quilt, revealing The Burglar, who snatches his revolver from Sally and springs at Douglas. They grapple and struggle hack and forth into hall l.. Sally fol- lozving. Both girls laugh, thinking it is Scott, and scream loudly. The Burglar str'kes Douglas, who falls to floor, knocked out temporarily. The girls rnsh and kneel by Douglas, both facing down- stage, with The Burglar behind them. The Burglar makes for door u. l., but at this moment Scott, in mask, with revolver in his hand, enters u. L. and levels Jiis revolver at The Burglarj Scott. Hands up! ("The Burglar raises his hands. He and Scott, looking very much alike, confront each other) Drop that gun, vou scoun- drel ! Sylvia. Help ! Help ! He's killed Douglas. Scott. What ! Poor old Doug ! (Rushes down to^ Douglas. The Burglar, taking advantage of his opportunity, rushes out door l. Immediately after Popham enters u.l. on the run. As he enters, Scott fires several shots and speaks to Sally, zvho has been so placed that she has not realised that there ivere tzvo burglars) Run, Sally, run ! Now's your chance! Sally. Oh, Scott, you've done this dreadful ^2 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY thing for me — ^you're in danger ! I won't leave you. fSAM enters u. lJ PoPHAM. Thieves! Murder! Police! Sam. (Seizing Scott, still masked, and jerking revolver out of his hand) I've got him ! Popham ! Run for a policeman! (^Popham runs out u. l., continuing his cries of ''Murder" and "Police") Is Douglas badly hurt? Douglas. (Raising himself on his elbow) Where am I? Oh, it's you — Nora. dear. Sylvia. Yes, dear, I'll stay with you. Sam. (To Scott j You'll get yours for this, you blackguard. Assault with intent to kill. ('Sally begins to cry) Douglas. You caught him? Good. (Struggles to his feet) All right in a minute. Just a bit dizzy. Where's Scott? (Moves unsteadily to chair l. and sits. Sylvia follows him) Sam. (c.) Where is he, anyhow? Scott! Scott! (There is no answer) Good Lord, I won- der if this thug got him. I'd kill the man that would touch old Scottie. (To Scott J Take off your mask! (^Scott does not move. Sam snatches off his mask) Good Lord, it's Scott. Sally. Oh, Scott, you did it for me. Til stick to you. Sam. Scott, you did this? Scott. (Crossing l. to Douglas^ But I didn't. I promised Sally to get her free, and I swore I'd keep that promise. I dressed up as a burglar, and in the excitement she was to escape. But you know, Doug, I wouldn't hurt you. (^Douglas shakes his hand) I suppose you think I've played it pretty low-down on you. But you see, I believe Sally. Sam. Then who was it got Doug? Scott. It was a real burglar. He ran out there. (Points to door l.) SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 73 Sam. I'm afraid he's gone by this time. (Rushes out door L.) Sally. Another burglar? (Turning to Scott j Didn't you come in the window? Scott. (Crossing r. to Sally^ No! I came in that door. (Points to door u. L.j Sally. It wasn't you I hid under the blanket? Scott. No. No. No. Sally.. Then it wasn't you that I — Oh, how per- fectly dreadful ! (Hides her face in her hands) Scott. What! What did you do? Sally. I'll never tell you. f Scott pulls her hands from in front of her face) I — I paid that I. O. U. — to the — burglar ! Scott. You darling ! Sam. (Coining in door L.J Not a trace of him! But to make sure he doesn't come up here again. (Locks door l., then crosses r. to Scott and pulls him. away from Sallyj This is a nice thing you tried to pull off on us ! Scott. For a girl like Sally I'd do it again ! (With gesture of disgust Sam turns upstage) But I've failed ! Douglas. (Rising and crossing r. to Scottj No, Scott, you've not failed. I know she's Sylvia Deane. But she stuck to you like a brick — just as Nora stuck to me. If you're on her side, and Nora's on her side — then I'm on her side, too. We'll let her go! (^ Scott grasps his hand) Sam. (Coming dozmi between Scott and Doug- las J Just a moment. Fve something to say. You sha'nf let her go. Scott. It's two to one, Sam. Sam. Well, I may be a minority, but I'm a scrappy one. Hyde will be here any minute with ten thousand dollars and I'm going to get them. If you cave in, I'll call a detective — a real one. 74 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. Oh, Sam, don't spoil everything. Sam. It's you who are spoihng everything. Just because a couple of girls make eyes at you, you throw everything else overboard. I like girls all right — but I like 'em in their proper place, and that's not in business. Scott. You won't withdraw your objection? Sam. Withdraw my objection? Nol Scott. Oh, well, I suppose there's nothing else for it then — (Goes upstage^ then turns suddenly) — Sh-hh-hh ! What was that ? (Holds up his finger for silence. The others all look round nervously) Sam. What was what? ScoTT. Hush! (A pause) Didn't you hear it? Sam. No. (The others shake their heads) Scott. It sounded like someone cocking a pistol. in there ! (Points to zvardrobe l. Sally flies to Scott's side, Sylvia to Douglas' j Sam. The burglar! (Everyone makes a terrified movement ) Scott. (Tiptoeing l. above others to wardrobe L.^ Sh ! Wait a minute. There it is again. (Listens at door of wardrobe l.) I can hear breathing. Douglas. Let's have him out. Scott. (Motioning Douglas back) No, no, Doug, you've been hurt. Sam. (Crossing l. to wardrobe l., above Doug- las and below Scottj Let me do this. Come out. Gome out! (There is no anszver. Throivs open door of wardrobe l. j There's no one in there. Scott. Oh, yes there is. (Pushes Sam into wardrobe, closing and locking door. Crosses R.j Young ladies, you may get ready to go. Mr. Graham withdraws his objection. Sally. Oh, did you ever see anything so clever. (All four start for door u. 'L.) SYLVIA RUNS AWAY ^s MuLLER. (Entering u. l., followed by Popham ) Where is he? (Comes doum c, forcing Sally and SeoTT to R. and Douglas and Sylvia to l. of him. Popham stands to r. of door u. L.) Good job you got him, Mr. Hamilton. Scott. The burglar? Oh yes, of course. Sorry to say, Sergeant, he got away. We are just going out (All four start for door u. l.J MuLLER. (Detaining them) Got away? He can't have. We've been watching the neighborhood ever since the Merrett robbery, and when those shots were fired a dozen of my men closed in on the house. He's still somewhere inside. Scott. Pll discuss it with you presently, but first (All four start for door u. l.^ MuLLER. (Detaining them) Hold on a minute — what's your sweat? Popham. (Coming down to l. of MullerJ How did he get away ? Mr. Graham had him right enough. MuLLER. Had your hands on him? And let him get away ? Ain't that just my luck. (To Doug- las j Are you Mr. Graham? Scott. This is Mr. Lea. He and his friends are just going (All four start for door u. l.) MuLLER. (Detaining them) Then where the devil is Graham ? Did he go out ? - Scott. Oh, no — no — he's inside, all right. MuLLER. Well, that burglar never got by my men, Pll swear to that. Pll bet he's still in the house. Scott. Pll help you make a thorough search presently. But first Pll see my friends out MuLLER. All right, Mr. Hamilton. (All four start for door u. l. But before they reach it, Sam smashes through top of wardrobe, and sticking his head and arms out, points to them) . Sam. (Excitedly) Stop them. Stop them. *]6 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Don't let them get away. ("Muller stops them and forces Sylvia and Sally domn r., Sylvia to r. of Sally; and Scott and Douglas down l. tozvard zvardrobe l., Scott to r. of DouglasJ Muller. No, you don't. Is that the burglar? (Points to Samj Sam. No, you fool — of course I'm not the burglar. Muller. Then who are you? Douglas. That's Mr. Graham. Muller. Well, what's he doing in there? Sam. Can't you see? I'm mowing the lawn. Muller. Here, young feller — don't get flip. Scott. We're just playing a joke on him. Come, girls (All four start for door u. l.) Sam. For Lord's sake, Sergeant, don't let that girl get out of here. Muller. Why not? Who is she, anyhow? PoPHAM. (Coming down to l. of Mullerj Everything is perfectly proper, sir, I do assure you. Miss Deane is only remaining here Muller. (In excitement, taking newspaper from his pocket) Miss Deane! Deane f Not Sylvia Deane! (With stifled scream Sylvia turns to Sally, who puts her arms about her protectingly ) PoPHAM. Yes, Sylvia Deane. Scott. (Angrily) You fool, Popham ! ("Pop- HAM goes upstage) Muller. (Turning r. to Sally and Sylvia j Sylvia Deane! Ten thousand dollars reward I This is my lucky night. (Looking closely at them) Which of you is herf Sally. / am ! Scott. Sally ! Muller. (Seising Sally by wrist) Then you're comin' with me to the station. Sally. Yes, Sergeant, take me to the station! SYLVIA RUNS AWAY ^j Keep me safe until my uncle comes for me. But first — (Points to three boys) — first — arrest those three men ! MuLLER. Why, what have they done? Sally. They — they — they — they kidnapped me ! (Three boys pantomime their consternation) Sam. Not me! Sally. Yes, you ! (Pointing an accusing finger at Sam J Why, you — yon are the leader of the gang ! Sam. Good night! Sally. (Turning to Sylvia j And, Sergeant! Let this poor girl here go. They hired her as a servant, but she isn't one of the gang and she's done all she could to help me Sylvia. Oh, yes — yes — let me go — please! Sally. Yes, Sergeant, let her go ! She didn't want to stay — they kept her here by force MuLLER. All right. All right. Scott. (Stepping r. to Mullerj See here, officer, I want to protest against this absurd MuLLER. (Drawing his revolver) Shut up ! The maid can go. But all you others are under arrest. The curtain falls ACT III Scene : The scene represents the living-room, as in Act I. The portieres have been hung up again in their accustomed places. A dim light streams down the staircase from, the second floor, and moonlight filters through window up l. Other- zvise the room is in darkness. As the curtain rises, the door l. opens and The Burglar tiptoes in, closing door behind him noiselessly. He creeps to window up l., and, masking himself behind portieres, peers out, but shakes his head, and then, very quietly, sneaks across to door r.^ peeks out, and, nod- ding, goes out by this door, leaving it open behind him. A moment after he has disap- peared, a revolver shot is heard off r., there is a crash of falling glass, and The Burglar comes in door r. again almost immediately, and closes door behind him. The shot is followed by a chorus of feminine shrieks from upstairs. The Burglar. (In whisper, laughing) Never touched me ! (The following lines take this speech for their cue. While they are spoken, off r.. The Burglar searches room with his electric torch, runs first to landing of stairs and listens; then, as he hears conversation from above growing louder and footsteps approaching, comes doimi again into room, and crawls beneath the table R. c.^ the ample table cover, which falls prac- 78 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 79 iically to floor, completely concealing hhn from view. When he is hidden, he turns on his electric torch, so that audience sees the space under table lighted up from within, and so is certain of his hiding place. During this busi- ness, the following lines are spoken off rJ Douglas. (Off r.) I hope they got him. Sally. (Off r.) Oh, dear, I zvish they wouldn't shoot. It scares me to death. Scott. (Off r.) Don't worry. There's no danger. MuLLER. (Off R.) Naw, lady, there ain't nothin' to hurt you. Sally. (Off r.) But someone must be hurt. It's dreadful. They may have killed the poor fel- low. MuLLER. (Off R.) Well, anyhow, he hasn't got out of the house. Sam. (Off R.) Push that button, Scott. Give us some light down there. (The lights in room are szvitched on from upstairs. Muller and Sally appear at door at head of stairs, Sally on Mul- ler's right arm. They walk dozvnstairs into room, follozved, in order, by Sam, Scott, Popham and DOUGLASJ Muller. (Beginning to speak on stairs the moment he and Sally can be seen by audience) He couldnt get out with my men posted all round the house. Sally. Do you think the burglar was really at the window? Muller. Sure. Rodney never fires until he sees his man — and he always gets him. (He and Sally are now l. c. Sam ajid Scott cross them l. arid go to extreme l. Popham stands up l., in front of window up l., and Douglas at foot of and to 8o SYLVIA RUNS AWAY L. of stairs. He keeps looking up tozvard door at head of stairs) Sally. (Sinking into chair l. of table R. c.) Oh, how perfectly awful ! MuLLER. (Pointing to closed door r. and start- ing toward it) Sounded out this way, didn't it? Sam. I think so. ^Rodney enters l. c.) Rodney. (Excitedly) I seen him. MuLLER. Are you suref Rodney. (Comes down, then goes to closed door R., opens it and looks out) Of course I'm sure. He was just starting to climb out the window. (^Rodney goes out r.) Why, where the devil is he? MuLLER.' (Crossing to door r.) Rodney! You didn't miss him? Rodney. (Off r.) I must have. For he ain't here. (Calling) Hey, you outside! Seen any- thing ? Voice. (Off r.) No, sir. Another Voice. (Off r.) Ain't seen nothin'. Rodney. (Entering door r. and crossing Mul- ler L.J Sure he didn't come out this way? MuLLER. Well, we didn't see nothin' of him. (All shake their heads negatively ) And we come right straight downstairs. Rodney. Is there a back stairs? Sam. Yes, but he couldn't get up by it. I locked the door at the top. MuLLER. Good. Where does that hallway out there lead to? (Points out door r.) Scott. To the kitchen — and the cellar. Rodney. Then he's hid down there. MuLLER. Cornered ! This is sure my lucky night. Why, Rodney, I've got Sylvia Deane Rodney. (Pointing to Sally J What! Her? MuLLER. Yep. I've got the guys that kidnapped her, and in five minutes I'll have that burglar. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY -8i Rodney. (Starting for door r.) Come on, then. MuLLER. (Waving hint back to l.) No, Rod- ney. You take charge of our men outside. These here prisoners, that know the house, they'll help me hunt. That burglar's here. Rodney. Right, sir. (Goes l. c, then up to door L. c.) Muller. Oh, — and Rodney! ("Rodney turns at door l. c.) Let the servant gal out when she comes down. She's coUectin' her duds upstairs. This bunch has scared her into conniption fits, and she wants to go. Rodney. All right, sir. Muller. But don't let no one else out — see? Rodney. Yes, sir. You know, I'll bet this burg- lary is Billy Hinkle's job. He's been operating in this neighborhood. You know— his side-partner's the swell dresser— one of these here gentlemen crooks— and I think there's a skirt in the gang, too. The two of 'em might be on this job — look out for 'em. Billy's a sm.ooth article. Muller. (Scornfully) Well, he'll need to be. I'm a pretty smooth article myself. ("Rodney goes out L. c. Muller goes l.'c, grasps Scott by right arm, and, motioning the others to follow him, leads Scott over to door r. j Now, then, we're goin' after him. Come on, all of you. Sally. If you think Fm going poking into the cellar, you're ' very much mistaken. There's a burglar down there— and he's got a gun. Besides — (With a shiver) — there might be rats. Muller. No one asked you to come, lady. Tt'^s the men I want. Stay here if you like— you can't get away. Sally. (Coquettishly) Oh, but Sergeant, I dont zvant to get away from you. ("Muller beams 82 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY at her foolishly, then, seeing the others smiling, coughs importantly ) MuLLER. Come along. (The others fall into line behind him, Muller keeping hold of Scott, then Sam, then Popham, and finally Douglas. Muller turns at door r. and speaks cautiously ) Careful, now. (^Muller, Scott, Sam and Popham go out R. Douglas, zvho has followed them so far, goes up L. of Sally to foot of stairs, and motions with his hand to come down) Douglas. (In loud whisper) Nora! (^Sylvia, still in maid's cap and apron, runs dozvn stairs into room) Why didn't you come down before? Sylvia. I was waiting- until the policeman was gone. I was afraid he'd change his mind about let- ting me go. Sally. (Rising) You were right. Don't take the chance of letting him see you again. Hurry ! Douglas. It's all right, Nora. He told the man outside to let you pass. ("Sylvia goes r. j Where are you going? Sylvia. To the kitchen — for my coat and hat. Sally. No, Nora — don't. The policeman is there. ("Sylvia runs hastily hack l. to foot of stairs) Douglas. Wait! I'll see if there isn't a coat and hat of Cornelia's in the hall somewhere. (He goes out l. c.) Sylvia. (Coming l. to SallyJ Oh, Sally, isn't he the dearest boy ? I'm simply crazy over him. Douglas. (Entering l. c. zmth elaborate fur coat and hat) I thought so. Here they are. ("Douglas and Sally help Sylvia into coat and hat, which she puts on over maid's costume) Wish I could take you home, but I'm a prisoner. Sylvia. (Shaking hands with him) Good-bye, Douglas. You've been so kind to me SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 83 Sally Don't waste time saying good-bye. Sylvia I won't. Good-bye, miss. ^Sylvia winks at Sally and goes out l. c. Douglas and Sally go to zvindow up l. and gaze out. A mo- menfs ^paiise,, then a policeman's zvhistle is blown loudU outside) Douglas. Wbat's happened out tbere? Sally Do you suppose they've caught the burdar? rRoDNEY enters l. c., dragging Sylvia by coat-collar. She is on his R. and is protesting zvith tears) 1 ^u^ Sylvia. But he said I could go. I m only the ""do^as. (Turning R.j Yes, officer, she's only the maid. ^ Sally Of course she's just the maid. Rodney The maid? In them togs? Why, that coat's worth a thousand dollars. (Muller ^n^^r.y door R. follozved, in order, by Scott, Sam and Pop- ham. Sam goes up r. Popham stays by door R.) We'll see what Muller says. , , c \ Muller. (Coming R. c, followed &y bcoTT; What did you whistle for? Why, who's this? Rodney. Search me. Says she's the maid, but she can't come that over me. , , • r Sylvia. (Pulling coat open and showing her apron) I am the maid. Scott. Why, it's Nora! . , ^ Muller. Sure, it's the servant girl. Seems to be some dresser, don't she? TSam crosses l. to SylviaJ ^^ ^ . , Sally. (Coming down L.j Yes, sergeant, its only Nora. And you know you told her she could ^^MuLLER. Yes, she's all right. Turn her loose, Rodney. tt u -4- Sam. (Cutting in quickly) Hold on a minute. 84 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sergeant. She only came to-day, and before she's been in the house twelve hours, we have a visit from a burglar. Looks suspicious to me. I bet they work together. MuLLER. (Slozvly, thinking it over) That might be. I shouldn't be surprised. Rodney. I'll bet she's Billy Hinkle's Lillian. Douglas. Oh, that's perfectly ridiculous. Sam. If she's all right, why should she be in such a rush to leave at half -past three in the morn- ing? (Looks at watch as he speaks) Sylvia. (Coming dozvn tozifard Mullerj Please let me go. I haven't done anything. Sam. Why, by Jove, Scott, look ! She's pinched your sister's clothes. I'll swear that's Cornelia's fur coat. Scott. (Crossing Muller l. and turning up- stage) Why, so it is. And it's Cornelia's hat, too. PoPHAM. Oh, Nora! Douglas. (Corning betzveen Scott and Sylvia j What if they are Cornelia's? I told her she could have them. Scott. Oh, well, then, that's all right. Muller. You told her she could take them, did you? Douglas. Yes, I did. Muller. Do they belong to you? Douglas. Of course not. What would / be do- ing with them? I'm a bachelor. Muller. (Sarcastically) Oh, they don't belong to you, so you told her she could take them. You're a gay lot, you are, in these high-life neigh- borhoods. And they talk about the criminality of the lower classes. Sam. (Coining dozvn R. of Sylvia j No use trying to shield her, Doug. She's a thief — and she stands in with that burglar. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 85 Sylvia. I do not. I never- MuLLER. That'll do. You're under arrest. Rod- ney, don't let anyone leave this house but our own men. If anyone tries to escape, fire at 'em. Rodney. All right, sir. (^Rodney goes out L. c.) MuLLER. Now that's settled, we'll tackle the burglar again. (To Douglas^ And look here, young feller (He pauses) Douglas. Who — me? MuLLER. Yes, you. When I told you to come with me, I meant it. Now, then. (He crosses to door R. and goes out, Popham falling in behind him, Sam follozvs, then Scott, and finally Douglas. Sylvia comes dozvn after them, and they stop at door R.. Sam having already gone out) Sylvia. (In zvhisper as she passes SallyJ I'm going with Douglas. Sally. (In whisper to Sylvia, smiling and shaking her finger at her) Oh, you Sylvia! ("Sally moves chair l. of table r. c. forzvard and sits) Douglas. (As Sylvia comes r. to him) You'd better not come, Nora. Sylvia. Yes, I — I'd rather be with you. (^Doug- las and Sylvia go out door r. together, crossing Scott, zvho remains, looking at SallyJ Scott. (After considerable pause) Is it true? — true that you're Sylvia Deane after all? Sally. Of course not, Scott. Scott. (Going l. to her) Then you haven't deceived me? Sally. No, Scott — never. Scott. But you told Muller that you were Sylvia Deane. Sally. Oh, don't you see? It was the silly old policeman I was deceiving — not you. 85 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Scott. But why? Sally. (In a low tone) I can't tell you. Scott. Then you're Sally Driscoll after all? Sally. Of course I'm Sally Driscoll — just as I've always told you. And I don't think it's very nice of you to doubt my word. Scott. I didn't mean to offend you. Salvia ! Silly! — I mean Sally (Comes still closer to her) Sally. (With signs of tears) No, go away. You don't trust me. Scott. But I do. You've told half a dozen dif- ferent stories, but I'm so crazy about you — I've reached such a state of blithering idiocy — that I be- lieve them all. Sally. (Giving him her hand) Oh, thank you, Scott. I'll never, never forget you — or your con- fidence in me. Scott. Never? Really? (^Sally shakes her head) Sally, dear, do you mean that? Do you mean (Starts to put his arm about her, ivhen MuLLER enters door R.j MuLLER. Oh, here you are. Scott. (Annoyed at interruption) What is it now? MuLLER. (Sarcastically) Maybe you're deef and didn't hear me tell you to come with me. Your old butler's so scared he can't tell me the lay of the cellar, and I've got to know it. Scott. Oh, all right. I'll come. (Goes out door R.j MuLLER. You might just as well try to keep a lot of grasshoppers together as this bunch. (^Mul- LER follows Scott out door r. Sally shozus anger at Muller's interruption, and, as he goes out, makes a face at him behind his back. As soon as Muller has gone The Burglar sticks his head out of his SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 87. hiding-place beneath table r. c, and looks up at Sally. A moment's pause before Sally sees him) The Burglar. Hello, kid. (Gets to his feet) Sally. (Starting up zvith a faint cry) Oh ! The Burglar. (Rushing l. to her and stopping her cry zvith gesture) Sh ! I ain't goin' to hurt you. 'Well — I come back! (A pause) You ain't so glad to see me as you was before. Gee! You kissed me then. Sally. You're the burglar. The Burglar. Sure, I'm the burglar. (Runs quietly to door r., listens, then softly closes it) Who did you think I was ? The milkman ? Say ! I got to get out of this place. " I ain't comfortable here. Sally. But you can't get away. It's impossible. The Burglar. (With a chuckle) It is, eh? How do you- know ? Sally. Because I've been trying to get away myself. The Burglar. There! I knew you was one of us. I knew it all the time. Sally. You mean — a thief f The Burglar. Sure. Sally. I'm not. But oh ! — if there is a way to get out, do tell me. How? The Burglar. Don't worry about me, kid. I'll get out all right. They never got me yet, and they ain't goin' to get me this time. Sally. Do you know the house is surrounded? The Burglar. Sure. Quite a gang of me friends is waitin' fer me outside, but let 'em wait I should worry. Sally. But then how can you get away? The Burglar. Well, to hand it to you straight, kid, I ain't just sure meself. Say, girlie, would you draw them curtains? (Points to portieres be- 88 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY fore ivindozv up l.) I don't like me friends peekin' through the window when I'm caUin' on me best girk Sally. (After a moment's hesitation, walks up L. and draivs portieres) You funny boy ! The Burglar. Boy ! I ain't a boy — I'm a burg- lar. Why, I'm eighteen — almost. Honest I am. Yes, and there ain't a slicker burglar of my age in this whole city of New York. Why, I'm the most promisin' young feller in the whole perfession — Big Mike Dolan said so himself. Sally. Big — who ? The Burglar. (Disgusted) Now don't tell me you don't know who Big Mike Dolan is. Don't you take no interest in public affairs? Say — what's your little game? Sally. What do you mean? The Burglar. What do you do fer a living? Are you a dip? Do you work alone, or have you got a pal waitin' for you on the outside? Sally. What are you talking about? The Burglar. (Laughing ) Aw, hand that baby-stare stuff to the cops. You can't con me. Why, didn't I hear him run you in for a thief? Sally. Oh, he didn't mean me. He meant the other girl. The Burglar. Both of you crooked? Say, competition like this would ruin any business. If there's three of us on the job, there ain't enough swag in the house to make it worth the risk. Sally. (Indignantly) Why, I never stole any- thing in my life. The Burglar. Then, believe me, kid, it's time you started. You been wasting yer time. Some class ! Why, you could pass for a lady almost any- where. But I guess you know how to nip a hand- bag without bein' taught. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 89 Sally. Oh, listen to me. You want to get away, and so do I. And I want my — my pal to get away, too. The Burglar. The other gal? Sally. Yes. Will you help me if I help you? The Burglar. Kid, you've struck me weak- ness. I'd do anything fer a lady. Say— what's yer name? Sally. Sally. Now how are we going to get away? The Burglar. (Suddenly snapping his fingers) I got a hunch ! I'll sneak upstairs. You get Muller ■up there alone Sally. What good will that do? The Burglar. Wait and see. It's dark up there. - Sally. (Suspiciously) What are you going to do to him? The Burglar. Oh, I ain't goin' to hurt him. I'm only goin' to fix him so he can't hurt me. Sally. But how can I get him to go upstairs ? The Burglar. That's your lookout. Holy Mike, you got to do something. Say, Sal — you ain't got another of them kisses handy, have you? (Foot- steps and voices heard off r.) Sally. Quick! They're coming. The Burglar. (Rushing up stairs to top) You get Muller up. I'll do the rest. Sally. But he's so big and strong. Don't let him hurt you. The Burglar. (With smile of gratified vanity) Gee! She's fell for me. Sally. (As footsteps off r. grozv louder) Here they come ! f The Burglar goes out door at head of stairs, drawing his revolver in view of audience^ hut unseen by Sally, as he goes. The door opens and Muller enters, follozved, in order, by Scott, 90 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sam, Douglas, Sylvia and Popham. Muller goes to L. c, the others following) Muller. Well, he ain't down cellar. That's sure. Scott. No, we went over every inch of it. Sam. (Whose face is streaked with grime, try- ing to nth it off) I know he ain't in the coal bin. Muller. (Pointing to door l.) What's out there ? Scott. The library and the den — and a con- servatory. Muller. (Starting for door l.) All right. We'll search them. PoPHAM. If I might venture a suggestion, sir — perhaps he's upstairs. Sally. Yes, Sergeant — I — believe he is upstairs. Muller. He couldn't get up there. The door at the top of the back stairs is locked, and if he'd tried these stairs, you'd have seen him yourself. Now we'll search these rooms. (Indicates door l. with a gesture, and starts for door, all except Sally following. Suddenly he sees that portieres are drawn before window up l., stops, looks at them, then looks suspiciously at Sally. He turns to others) Go on out in the library and wait until I- come. I got something to say to this young woman. And stay out ! (He steps upstage and Scott, Sam, Douglas, Sylvia and Popham cross him l. and go out L. Muller turns r. to Sally j Now then — vjho drew them curtains? Sally. I did. Why? Muller. (Suspiciously) I don't quite make you out. (With a sudden movement goes up l. to por- tieres and throws them open) Sally. (Sweetly) Looking for something? Muller. The burglar. He might have sneaked in there. SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 91 Sally. Oh, but then I'd have seen him. MuLLER. (Still puzzled, moving down toward door L.j So you would. Sally. (Rushing l. to him and dragging him hack) Sergeant, I — I'm sure he's upstairs. MuLLER. (Impatiently) I tell you, he couldn't have got up there. Sally. But — but — you said there might be two of them. Perhaps he's been up there all the time. MuLLER. The other one ! That's right, he might. But no — we looked everywhere before we come down, Sally. Did you look under the bed ? MuLLER. Yes, I done all the old maid tricks. Searched the whole second floor. Sally. But not the third floor? (Gripping his arm and making sign for silence) Hush! Listen! Don't you hear something? — way up on the third floor? MuLLER. (Listens cautiously, then shakes his head negatively ) Imagination ! (Starts for door L., but Sally drags him up R. toward foot of stair- case) Sally. I'm sure I heard something ! Oh, please, Sergeant, please look ! I'm so nervous. (Pretends to begin to cry) MuLLER. (Annoyed) Now don't start bawlin'! Say, if you belonged to me and got lost, you can bet your life I wouldn't offer no reward to get you back. Stop it! Sally. (Still pretending to cry) I'm fright- ened. MuLLER. Now stop your cryin', and I'll take a look, just to satisfy you. (Goes up stairs to land- ing) Where's the electric light switch? Sally. I — I don't know. I'm a stranger here. MuLLER. Never mind, I'll find it. It's all your 92 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY imagination. There ain't no one up there. (Runs upstairs and goes out door at head of stairs. A short pause) The Burglar. (Off R.J Hands up! MuLLER. (Off R.j Now I've got you! Sally. Oh ! (Runs excitedly to bottom of stairs and listens. Scuffling sounds are heard, follozved, after a pause, by slamming of a door upstairs. Then The Burglar appears at door at head of stairs, wearing Muller's policeman s coat, with his cap, zi'hich is much too large for him, on his head) The Burglar. Well, Sal, you did it immense. You're a born crook. (Comes dozvnstairs) Sally. (Backing away from him L.j What did you do to him ? The Burglar. I didn't hurt nothin' but his feelings. Only he can't bother us until some kind soul unties him. Come on. Sally. Where ? The Burglar, Out the door. Look at me. I'm a copper. Pipe me nice blue coat. Pipe me badge. And fer the love of Mike, pipe me hat! (Takes Sally by arm) I've run you in as a suspicious character, and I'm taking you to the station under arrest. Do you get me? Sally. But will they let us by? The Burglar. Sure! They can't stop an officer of the law. Come on. It's our one best bet. (Releases Sally's arm and starts for door l. c.) Sally. Wait a minute. (Runs down toward door L.) The Burglar. Here! Where you goin'? Sally, (Stopping) To get the other girl. The Burglar. Nix on that. There ain't time. (Comes down l. to her, takes her arm and starts to pull her toward door l. c, when Sam a^^o? Scott enter l. Sam has washed the grime from his face) SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 93 Scott. What's become of Muller? Here! What are you doin^ to that girl? The Burglar. She's under arrest. Sam. That's not Muller. (To The Burglar; Where is he? ^^ o ^ The Burglar. Just stepped out. (To Sally; Come along, you. (Starts with Sally tozvard door L. c.; 1 1 r ^ Scott. Wait. What have you arrested her tor t The Burglar. Because she stands in with that burglar. Scott. Nonsense ! Sam. Who are you, anyhow? The Burglar. ^I'm from the Fourth Precinct. Here's me badge. Sam. Well, you're just a little late. Sergeant Muller has already taken that girl into custody. The Burglar. That don't make no difference to me. Sam. Oh, don't it? We'll see what Muller has to say to that. (Makes sudden break for door l. c. and runs out. The Burglar, too late, starts after him) The Burglar. Come back here! (" Sylvia and Douglas enter l.; Douglas. What's wrong? Scott. Now this fellow is trying to arrest Sally. Sally. (Turning l. to Scott; Scott, listen! He's all right. He isn't a policeman. He's my burglar. The Burglar. (Drazving his revolver and cover- ing them) The devil! You've double-crossed me. Sally. No, I haven't. Scott, he's only pretend- ing to arrest me. He's really helping me to get away. And I've promised, in turn, to help him get away. 94 SYLVIA RUNS -AWAY Scott. So that's the game ! (To The Burglar J Where the devil have you been? The Burglar. Oh, here and there — here and there. Douglas. Where did you get that uniform? The Burglar. That was me present from Mul- ler. Scott. Say, v^here is Muller? The Burglar. Don't you worry about him. He's restin' quiet, with a gag in his mouth, in the cupboard upstairs. He won't run away: he's hitched. Sally. Scott, you won't give him up to the pohce after all he's done for me? Scott. Of course not. It's a bully plan. ("The Burglar puts away his revolver) Sally. And lend me Nora, please, until to-mor- row? I want her with me. Scott. Certainly. Douglas. If she wants to go. Sylvia. (Stepping up between Sally and Scott j I'd like to go with her. The Burglar. Then you're arrested, too. Say — if you want me to get these gals through that line of bulls outside, there ain't no time to waste. Scott. /\11 right. But I can't have Sally alone on the streets at this time of night. You've got to arrest me too. Douglas. And me. The Burglar. Well, I wasn't plannin' to run a tourin' excursion, but — come on. I'll arrest the whole crowd. Step lively, please. (Starts for door L. c, Sally, Sylvia, Scott and Doltglas following in line. Sam enters l. c, Rodney following to his L. As Rodney enters The Burglar takes off hat, which is too large for him, and holds it in hand) Sam. What's the parade? SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 95 Scott. Well, Sam, this cop's arrested the lot of us, all over again. Sam. All four of you? The Burglar. Yes, all four of 'em. (Comes dozvn R. and lays cap on fable r. c.) Rodney. Sergeant Muller left orders no one was to leave the house but the police. The Burglar. Well, I made these arrests, and I'm goin' to take 'em to the station — see? Rodney. Not while Fm here, you ain't. Mul- ler's orders go. Who are you, anyhow? I don't know your face. The Burglar. Fleming's my name. Fourth precinct. I was sent up on this case and come in the back way. Rodney. Oh. Well, you gotta wait till Muller comes back. Sam. But where is Muller? Rodney. Still huntin' the burglar, I. suppose. The Burglar, Huntin' the burglar? Why, the burglar's caught. Sam and Rodney. Caught ! The Burglar. Sure ! I caught him meself. But he got so violent, I had to lock him up. He's upstairs — in the cupboard. You'd better go take charge of him. (^Rodney and Sam start l. for stairs. The Burglar, the two boys and the two girls start for door l. c. Rodney sees them, rushes L. again, and stops them at door l. c.) Rodney. Let them prisoners alone! I'll stay and watch 'em myself. Sam. Then I'll see to the burglar. (Rushes up- stairs and goes out door at head of stairs) The Burglar. Aw, well, if you're goin' to get sore about it, I'll beat it. But Muller will raise the devil with you when he finds out what you've done. (Turning to Sally, in low tone) Look me up any 96 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY evenin', kid, at Sharkey's place. I'll buy you a pail of suds. (Goes out l. c. quickly. Sally runs to window up l. and looks out. Loud roars of anger are suddenly heard from upstairs r.) Rodney. That's a pretty mad burglar. fMuL- LER rushes downstairs, in shirt sleeves, furious. Sam follows him down and remains at foot of stairs) MuLLER. (Going l. to Rodney J Where is he? (All show real or pretended surprise at Muller's predicament) Scott. Oh, Sergeant — Sergeant — what has hap- pened to you? Muller. Where is he? Has he got away? Rodney. Has zvho got away? Muller. Who do you suppose? The burglar, of course. Rodney. Ain't he upstairs? I thought he was locked in the cupboard. Muller. You fool ! / was locked in the cup- board. Rodney. Why, who locked you up? Muller. Two of them. There was another one after all. They overpowered me. Rodney. Just as I said — Billy Hinkle and his pal. Muller. You must have seen 'em come down this way. Rodney. No, there's no one come this way but a fresh policeman I never seen before. (Noticing cap lying on table R. c.) Why, look! He's left his cap on the table there. Muller. That's my cap. He had on my uni- form. He's the man that locked me up — a great big man. Where did he go? Rodney. He went out — just a minute ago. ,-. Muller. You fool ! That's the burglar ! He's SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 97 walked through the whole blasted lot of you. Come on! After him! (Rushes out l. c, foUoivcd by Rodney. Police whistles are heard offstage, gradually grozving fainter and dying away. All go to ivindozv up l. and look out) Sally. Oh, I do hope he got away ! Sam. With that start he's a mile off by this time. Scott. (Looking out ivindozv and laughing) Look at the cops run I The whole lot of them are after him. Sally. (Drazvs Scott down to c, on her r. Sylvia foUozvs and goes above and to R. of Scottj Oh, Scott, if the police have all gone, Nora and I can get away now. Scott. So you can ! Sam. (At zvindozv up L.j Hello! There's a taxi stopping outside ! There's a man getting out ! It's Hyde — that's who it is — Hyde! Scott. Now, Sally, Hyde will tell them you aren't his niece and then you can go. (Doorbell rings off l. c.) Sylvia. (Running r. to stairs) Then if the gentleman's come, you won't be needing me any longer. Scott. (Follozving and stopping her) Yes, we do need you. We want Hyde to see that his niece has been properly chaperoned. You're the chaper- one. Stand there where he can see you. (Door bell off L. c. rings again) Sylvia. (Frightened) Oh, dear! ('Popham enters L. j PoPHAM. Beg pardon, sir — the bell. (Walks upstage to door l. c. j Scott. (Stopping Popham with gesture) Pop- ham, don't open that door until I tell you to. CScoTT, Sam and Douglas confer zvith Popham up l. c. Doorbell off l. c. rings again) 98 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Sylvia. (In zvhisper, coming dozvnstage to Sally j Oh, Sally, help me. What can I do? If Uncle Dan sees me, he'll drag me back home in disgrace Sally. (In zvhlsper) Yes, yes, dear. I'll get you out of the room somehow, f Scott, Sam ayid Douglas come a step dozvnstage, leaving Popham L. of door L. c. Sally turns to Sylviaj Nora, go upstairs and find my coat and hat. Popham took them upstairs somewhere. I'll be leaving here in a minute. Sam. Nora, you stay where you are and make a noise like a chaperone. Sally. Oh, you silly men, what does Uncle Dan care about a chaperone? Don't you suppose he'll take my word for it that I've been properly treated here ? Sam. Ah, then — at last you admit that you are Sylvia Deane ! Sally. Oh, well — yes. I might as well admit it — now. I — I am Sylvia Deane. Scott. Sally! (Doorbell off l. c. rings again, and continues to ring steadily until Popham has admitted Hyde J Sally. That's my uncle. He'll be in a hurry. Go get my things, Nora, f Sylvia rushes upstairs and goes out door at head of stairs) Sam. (Triumphantly) Well, I told you so all along. Scott. (Coining dozvn to Sally^ And you've been deceiving me from the first? Sally. Of course. Scott. (Furiously ) Then I'm glad we caught you. Sam, take her upstairs. Sally. Aren't you going to turn me over to my uncle ? Scott. He won't get a glimpse of you until we SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 99 see if he's going to make good on that reward. ("Sally crosses Scott r. and zvalks upstairs, fol- lowed by Sam. Half-way up she begins to cry. Both go out door at head of stairs) Now, Popham — you can admit Mr. Hyde. ("Popham goes out L. c. and in a moment bell stops ringing off l. c. Scott goes r. and seats himself at back of table R. c. Douglas walks behind Scott oz^er to extreme R. of table R. c. and sits. Popham re-enters l. c, and steps to lJ Popham. Mr. Hyde. ("Hyde enters L. c. He carries a stick zmth which he cuts the air suggestively as he talks. As soon as he enters, Popham goes out l. c.) Hyde. (Angrily) How dare you keep me wait- ing outside all this time? My name's Hyde. Which of you is Hamilton? Scott. (Rising) I am Hamilton, Mr. Hyde. Hyde. (Excitedly) Well, have you got her? Have you got n^v niece? Douglas. (Rising) Oh, yes, Mr. Hyde — we've got her. Sam. (Appearing at door at head of stairs) Safe and sound. Hyde. Then you've made ten thousand dollars. Where is she? Scott. You'll pay that for her? Hyde. Of course. Scott. Graham, bring Miss Deane down. CSam goes out door at head of stairs) Scott. Mr. Hyde, we've done everything we could to make your niece feel comfortable and at home. She will tell you herself that ever since we caught her she has been under the care of our, er — loo SYLVIA RUNS AWAY chaperone. If you would care to see the chaper- one Hyde. Damn the chaperone ! It's my niece I want. Scott. She's coming. It is with great pleasure and a feeling of pardonable pride that I now re- store to your waiting arms your missing niece, Sylvia Deane. f Sally appears at door at head of stairs, follozved by Sam J Sam. (Announcing) Miss Sylvia Deane. ('Sally, laughing, trips downstairs and goes l. to Hyde) Scott. (Striking attitude of triumph) Behold! ('Sam comes dozvnstairs and stands at foot of stairs) Hyde. (Going r. to Sally and adjusting his glasses) Why, bless my soul — who's this? Scott. (Surprised) Why, it's your missing niece, Sylvia Deane. Hyde. That my niece? It is not. Never saw that girl before in my life. (Turns angrily to l. Sally hursts out laughing. All hoys show sur- prise. Sam follozvs Hyde over L.j Scott. (To Sally j You little vixen, who and what are you? (^ Sally laughs) Sam. She is your niece. She said so! She's got to be. Blame it, you're trying to skin us out of the reward ! Hyde. Nonsense, sir! The money is yours, if you've got my niece. But this girl is certainly not Sylvia. Sam. (To Sa'L'ly) Confound you ! What made you tell us you were Sylvia Deane? Sally. To pay you back for all you've done to me. You've kept me here by force, you made me miss a wonderful dance, you've insulted me and pulled and hauled me all over this house. T told you I wasn't Sylvia Deane, and you wouldn't be- SYLVIA RUNS AWAY loi lieve me. Well, I've made you look pretty foolish before Mr. Hyde. I've paid you back. Sam. I don't believe you. You might have done it to pay me back, but you wouldn't lie to Scott without a better reason than that. Why. you cried after you'd done it. No! There's some other reason. Let me see. You sent Nora upstairs (^Sam stands l. c, shaking his head and trying to puzzle it out) ^ ^m tv/t Sally. (Crossing Sam l. to Hydej Oh, Mr. Hyde— you have a taxicab. Won't you take me home ? ^ . Hyde. Certainly. The sooner I get away from these half-baked idiots, the better. Indirectly I am to blame for the inconvenience you have suffered, and I shall be delighted. ^ . Sally. (Seizing his arm and drazvmg him up toward door l. c.) Then let's go at once Scott. But, Sally! Your coat and hat! Let Nora bring them to you. Sally. Never mind them. I don't want them, rilsend for them. (To Hydej Come on. Sam. (Looks upstairs and light breaks on his face He daps his knee in great excitement) Nora! By gosh, Nora! She begged Muller to let Nora ^o— sent her out of the room for her things, and now she doesn't want her to bring them down. What fools we've been. Mr. Hyde, come back ! ^ Sally. (In a panic) Come, Mr. Hyde— I can't get out of this house too quickly. ^ Sam Oh, you can go — if you want to. You ve played a good joke on us— but the joke ain't oyer yet Don't you want to stay for the finish? (To Hyde; Mr. Hyde, we've got your niece. Hyde and Douglas. What! Scott. Sam! What do you mean? Sam Why, don't you see? We've been the I02 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY blindest idiots in New York City. Here's Sylvia Deane under our very noses, and we never tumbled to it. It's Nora! Douglas. Nora ! Sylvia Deane ! Ah, now I understand. Scott. Nora! (Raps his head with his knuckles) Solid ivory ! Hyde. (Coming down l. ) Well, if you've s^ot her, for heaven's sake bring her here. Sally. Oh, Scott ! Boys ! Don't let him have her. He's been so cruel to her Hyde. I ? Cruel ? See here, young woman Sally. You have! You tried to make her marry a man she hated — a fortune hunter who was only after her money — and when she found it out and wanted to break the engagement, you made it so hard for her that she couldn't stand it and ran away. That's what you've done. Hyde. (Drawing zvallet from inside pocket and waving it) Don't I'sten to her. Here's ten thou- sand dollars. Bring me the girl and it's yours. Sam. I'm your man! (Starts r. for stairs) Douglas. Sam, don't you budge! Ston him, Scott! (^ScoTT goes upstage and confronts Sam at foot of stairs) The poor girl's had no friend to turn to, but now sh?'s got me. (Walks over l. and confronts Hydej I won't let you have your niece, ten thousand or no ten thousand ! Hyde. You won't. And why not? Douglas. Because you're no fit guardian for her, and she doesn't want to go back to you. I'm her guardian now. If she's willing — and I think she is — I'm eoing to marry her. Hyde. What ! Sally. Oh, how perfectly splendid ! I must tell Sylvia that ! (Rushes over r. to stairs, upstairs and out door at head of stairs. Scott and Sam show SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 103 great satisfaction at Douglas' announcement) Hyde. Why, you must be mad ! Do you suppose that Sylvia — my niece — would marry a detective? Bring her down, I say. Douglas. Not until we've come to an under- standing. Hyde. It's impossible! Grotesque! Just wait until Norris gets here. You seem to forget she is erigaged to him. Why, the marriage is appointed for to-morrow. Douglas. She hates him. . Hyde. Nothing of the sort. A mere lover's quarrel. Why, she's already regretted her silly escapade, and will be glad to make it up with him. Douglas. I'm sure she cares for me. You might as well go, for she's going to stay here until to- morrow morning, and then, if she's willing, she'll become my wife. Hyde. (Go'nq angrily up L.j Oh, you're stark, staring mad! ("Douglas goes up R. and places him- self determinedly hetiveen Scott and Sam at foot of stairs, SmTT on his r. and Sam on h's l.) Sam. (Beativq Douglas on hack) Pretty work, Doug! And she's worth a million. Hang the re- ward. Why, we can start a brokerage firm of our own. Scott. Oh, shut up, Sam. Congratulations, Doug ! Hyde. The girl might be fool enough to marry hini— I wouldn't put it past her— just to annoy me.. (Coming over R. to SamJ Graham, you seem to have a little more sense than these other maniacs. Hand Svlvia over to me now, and the whole ten thousand's yours. Sam. Nope. Nothin' doin'. What's a mere ten thousand, eh, Doug? That wedding's coming off to-morrow, and I'm going to be best man. 104 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY Hyde. Well, I'll soon stop your foolishness. We'll see what the police think of your holding the girl here by force. (Goes l. toward zvmdozu up L. NoRRis, a man of forty-five, but slightly effeminate and overdressed, enters l. c. His make-up must not he exaggerated) NoRRis. (r. of Hydej Ah. Daniel. I hastened over as soon as I left our bags at the hotel. Have you got her ? Hyde. Not yet, Ridgeley. But she's here. NoRRis. Capital. Capital. Scott. (To Douglas J What do you think of your hated rival? Sam. (Eyeing Norris ivith distaste) I back you to win, Doug — a hundred to one. Hyde. (To Norris j I'll show them they can't keep me from getting my own niece if there are any police around. (Crosses Norris r., and goes out L. c. He is heard calling off l. c.) Police! Police! Officer! (^Norris folloivs him out l. c. Sam, Douglas and Scott come down to l. c. j Scott. I'm in this game with you, Doug, heart and soul — what can we do? (Police ivhistles are heard outside) The streets are still full of cops and Hyde seems to have flagged one. Douglas. If we could only get rid of Hyde for half an hour Scott. That would give her time to slip away. Sam. Maybe the cops will arrest him. They've arrested everyone else in sight. Douglas. Oh, this is no time for jokes, Sam! But — if we could only fix it so they would ! Sam. How? Douglas. I don't see any way Scott. (Going r. to table r. c. and picking up Muller's police cap, which is lying there) I've got an idea. Leave it to me. (^Douglas and Sam SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 105 7noz'e over r. tozvard him. Hyde re-enters L. c, followed by Norrts, wJw stands r. of him) Hyde. Now we'll see what this police ofificer has to say. Why, Ridgeley, this fellow actually had the nerve to say he was going- to marry her himself. (From time to time police whistles are heard out- side, always coming nearer) Norrts. Oh, but Dan, this chap is only after her money — he's one of these fortune hunters. Hyde. Why, that's it ! You're right. He's read in the papers she's an heiress. But I'll knock that idea out of his head. (Comes dozvn l. and addresses Douglas j Young man, my niece isn't worth a penny. Her fortune went to smash yesterday in United States Coal. (General consternation. Norrts, who has zvorn a fatuous smile, loses it, and looks alarmed and chagrined. Douglas alone shows no annoyance) Sam. (With an angry gesture) Blame it all, there ain't no justice anywhere. Douglas. Well, I'm glad of it. Now at least you can't say I want to marry her for her money. Hyde. (In great surprise) Hey? Say that again. Douglas. (Impatiently) Hang the money. All I want is Sylvia. (^Hyde shows great surprise) Norrts. (Coming down to r. of Hydej Dan I (Plucks him by coat-sleeves, leads him over l., and speaks in zchisper) Dan, you didn't mean that — • about the money? You just said that for him, didn't you? Hyde. (Looking him slowly up and down, sus- picion beginning to dawn on his face) I meant exactly what I said. Her fortune's gone. Norrts (Mopping his brow zvith handkerchief) My God ! (Police zvhistles are heard loudly blow- ing outside zvindow up L.j io6 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY MuL-LER. (Off L. c.) It was someone in the house that called. Scott. It'sMuller! Midler! Thank heaven for that! Hyde. (Triumphantly) Here's the police ! Now we'll see. (^Muller enters l. c, follozved by Rod- ney, who stands l. of door l. c.) MuLLER. If I could only have got that burglar — or his pal. Hyde. (Crossing Norris r. and stepping up to MullerJ Officer MuLLER. Who's this? Scott. (Rushes l. to Muller and Hyde, and, as he talks, unseen by Muller and Hyde, but in full viezv of audience, slips Muller's cap, which he has been carrying, rolled up in his hand, into capacious outside pocket of Hyde's coat) Ah ! That's it! Who is he? We don't know. No one knows. We called you in to find out. No one saw him come in. He suddenly appeared. He must have been hiding somewhere in the house. Muller. (Seizing Hyde j I'll bet he's Billy Hinkle's swell-dressed pal. Scott, ^r. of MullerJ Search him, Sergeant, search him. Hyde. Officer, this is an outrage f Mul- ler, searching Hyde, pulls his own cap out of Hyde's pocket) Muller. Aha! Where did you get that cap? Hyde. Why, really, I don't know. I never saw it before. I Muller. Well, / know where you got it. You got it from me. You're pinched. Hyde. Release me instantly. It's a mistake. Sam. Look in his inside pocket. Sergeant, f Mul- ler reaches into Hyde's inside pocket) A wallet SYLVIA RUNS AWAY lo; of mine containing ten thousand dollars in bills has disappeared, and he may have it. MuLLER. (Pulling out Hyde's zvallet and open- ing it) Gee! I never seen so much money. (To Hyde, dragging him tozvard door l. c.) You come with me. Hyde. Ridgeley, identify me to this blockhead. NoRRis. My good man, this is Mr. Hyde of Harrisburg. MuLLER. (Chuckling) Hyde, is it? Well, my name's Seek. NoRRis. This is certainly Daniel Hyde. / can vouch for him. MuLLER. Who in hell are you? Shut up, or I'll run you in. NoRRis. (Edging upstage) Well, I'll be going. Sorry, Dan — about that fortune being gone. But so far as the marriage goes — -that lets me out. See you later. (Goes out l. c, making detour to avoid Rodney j Hyde. (Calling after him) Not if I see you first. Her fortune's all right. I only said that to catch this young chap — and, by Jove, I caught you. MuLLER. (Dragging Hyde tozvard door l. c.) Come on, now. We've had enough out of you. Douglas. (Crossing l. to l. of Hyde and turn- ing R. j Wait a moment, Muller. We've all made a mistake. I see now that this is Mr. Hyde after all and not a burglar. If you're through with Norris, Mr. Hyde Hyde. I am. The wretched fortune hunter! Douglas. Then you can have Sylvia at once. Sam. I'll get her. (Goes upstage to stairs, up- stairs and out door at head) Hyde. (To Douglas J Young man, who are you? Scott. Mr. Hyde, allow me to introduce your io8 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY future nephew-in-law, Mr. Douglas Lea, son of Ambassador Lea. Hyde. What! Your father's not William G. Lea? (^Douglas nods) My dear boy, I'm de- lighted to see you. MuLLER. What ! You ain't Sylvia Deane's uncle ? Hyde. That's who I am. (Takes out card from card-case) Here's my card. (Hands it to Mul- lerJ Give me back my money. ("Muller returns wallet to him) And if you annoy me further I'll make it hot for you. MuLLER. W^hy, Mr. Hyde, I got your niece for you. These boys kidnapped her. Hyde. Nonsense. They found her. Get out. MuLLER. (Shaking his head) Of all the boobs, I get first mention. Come on, Rodney. And lead me by the hand. I might get lost. (Goes out L. c, followed by Rodney. Sylvia and Sam appear at door at head of stairs — Sylvia first, with her oivn coat and hat on, and maid's cap and apron gone) Sam. Here she is — Mr. Hyde. Sylvia. (Running down stairs and l. to Hydej Uncle Dan, you see I was right about Mr. Norris. (^Sam comes down and stands at foot of stairs) Hyde. (Kissing her) You were. I've been an old fool. But from now on, I'm going to make you happy. (Hands her over to Douglas l. and walks forzvard) Who's treasurer? Sam. (Coining l. to him) I am. Hyde. (Handing him roll of bills) There's your reward. Come, Sylvia, f Sally appears at door at head of stairs, zvith her coat and hat on) I think, young lady, you had better come with us to the hotel. Come and see us to-morrow, boys. The Ritz. f Sally comes downstairs. Hyde goes SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 109 out i..^ c. Sylvia and Douglas follow him, Doug- las with his arm round Sylviaj Sam. (Going uf> to door l. c. zvaving money) This time we'll sell out at 89. (Goes out l. cj Sally. (Goes l., then turns to Scott J Good- bye. (Holds out her hand) Scott. (Taking it) Sha'n't I see ycu again? Sally. Young gentlemen are allowed to call at Miss Worthington's School once a week, on Friday evenings. Sgott. I'll be there. Sylvia. (Off l. c.) Come, Sally. Sally. (Going to door l. c.) Good-bye. ScoTT. Good-bye. Sally. Good-bye. (Goes out l. c. Scott sits in chair l. of table R. c, facing audience. Sally reappears at door l. c., comes quietly down behind him, leans over and kisses him lightly. He rises, looks in pocket, takes out I. O. U. and hands it to her) ScoTT. Here's your I. O. U. f Sally takes it and goes up to door l. c.) Sally. Good-bye. ScoTT. Good-bye. Sally. Good-bye. (She goes to door l. c, and as she does so, the I. O. U. flutters out of her hand onto the floor. Scott stands a moment gazing at her, then goes and picks up the I. O. U. She goes out L. c. A smile comes over his face and The curtain falls JUST PUBLISFIED Nothing But the Truth A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts By James Montgomery Cast of Characters Bob Bennett B. M, Ralston Clarence Van Dusen Bishop Doran Dick Donnelly i Gwen Mrs. Ralston Ethel Mable Sable Martha SCENES ACT 1. A Broker's Office ACT 2. Jr-arlor of a Country Home ACT 3. " " .... TIME: The Present "Nothing But the Truth" is built upon the simple idea of its hero speaking- nothing but the absolute truth for a stated period. He bets a friend ten thousand dollars that he can do it, and boldly tackles truth to win the money. For a very short time the task is placidly easy, but Truth routs out old man Trouble and then things be- gin to happen. Trouble doesn't seem very large and aggressive when he first pokes his nose into the noble resolve of our hero, out he grows rapidly and soon we see our dealer in truth disrupting the domestic relations of his partner. In fact, Trouble works overtime, and reputations that have been unblemished are smirched. Situations that are absurd and complications almost knotted, pile up, all credited to Truth, and the result of the wager to foster and cherish that great virtue from the lips of the man who has espoused the cause of truth to win a wager. It is a novel idea and so well has it been worked out that an audience is kept in throes of laughter at the seemingly impossible task to untangle snarls into which our hero has involved all those he comes into contact with. It is a clean bright farce of well drawn characters and was built for laughing purposes only. William Collier play-d "Nothing But the Truth" for a year at the Longacre Theatre, New York, and it has been on tour for over two seasons. After three years continuous success on the profess- ional stage we "are now offering "Nothing But the Truth" for amateur production. It is one of the funniest and brightest farces ever written, and it is admirably suited to amateur production. Price 6o Cents IBMr^l