PS 3547 .05 M5 1921 Copy 1 [inute Dramas The Kodak at the Quarter t^Li® r^.m #v^i^ By Martha Young PHOTO BY CORAL Mc?HERSON. SELMA. ALA. 'SHININ' MARK" Minute Dramas The Kodak at the Quarter Copyright, 1921 By MARTHA YOUNG (All rights reserved) Rendition on Stage or Platform only by arrangement with author. o)-iA6:a7ti5 OCT 12 71 Minute Dramas The Kodak at the Quarter by Martha Young V MONTGOMERT, ALA: THE PARAGON PRESS 1921 -f73 3 5^4' ' These verses have appeared in CENTURY MAGAZINE, BOOKMAN, INDEPENDENT, JUDGE, CIRCLE, PICTORAL REVIEW, NEW YORK TIMES and other Magazines • • ♦ ^0 UNHtJode mental 8i(t£i> culture, courttgp anb consftant sipitipatlip ma&e farigfjt manp an Ijour on tfje roab of lite. Contents PLANTATION ETHICS The Christmas Turkey The Ruling Passion Proof Positive That Goose At The Baptizin* Plantation Choir Plantation Prayer Plantation Sermon The Christian Gun The Prayer of the Weather Wise Parson LIGHTS AND SHADES OF PLANTATION LOVE MAXING The Christmas Cake Walk The Proposal The Strangeness Of It The Marriage License The Marriage Fee Money and Matrimoney The Plantation Widow Plantation Serenade Take My Heart But Not My Hoard Babe's Marriage The Greatest Weddin' [ 6 ] PLANTATION POLITICS, PICTURES AND PHILOSOPHY More Than Milk and Honey- Uncle Isham Thinks — 'and Talks The Office Seeker His Party In the Dock in Dixie Aunt Dinah's Picture Uncle Sampson's Rule At the Sign of the Sunflower Age Versus Youth Nigger and the Corn Pone An Alabama Gumbo Uncle Isham's Way to Cook a 'Possum At the End of the Row PLANTATION LITTLE PEOPLE Mark's Santa Claus Progress of a Pickaninny LiT Lonesome Hiding the Young Plantation Dance Song Baby's Feet Breeze in the Bough IN BLACK AND WHITE Quality Daddy and the Boy Hush LiT Baby Baby's First Drink of Water Mammy's Sleepy Song God's LiT Jewelry What Mammy Knows The Blessed Book [ 7 ] THE KODAK AT THE QUARTER Somethin' 'nother done got loose on de Place, Jumpin' right up in ever'body's face; Des tetch off de trigger of one li'l' box — And it snatch up de niggers in droves and flocks! It's wo'se 'n de Sheriff gwine 'round in de fall, 'Potin' on de darkeys one and all; Ever' thing dat a nigger hand do Dat devil marks it down fer true. It got us dar hoein' and dancin' and prayin', It got us plantin' cotton, pickin', ginnin', and weighin'; You stand 'roun' arguin' you won't be took — But — tetch ! — and dar ! You's print in de book ! 'Tain't now even no use to run — (Dat box done made a trade wid de sun) Pomp run — hit ketch him wid his heels in de air — He's runnin' dar yet twel I do declare When you meet Pomp he looks right tire twel yet. Ever' time you see Pomp he's wipin' off de sweat — Pomp all time pantin' and wipin' his brow — (Dar's a conjure spell put on Pomp, I 'low.) It 's enough to make a 'spectable man Stay all day in de dark — if he can; It make me b'lieve dese de Las' Days sho' — 'Caze atter all dis de devil can't do no mo'. Done 'range to take a nigger on de jump or de run, Done press into service de Lord's own sun ! But de reason I 's'pize dat devil — Kodak Is des 'caze it love to paint a nigger — black ! [ 8 ] Plantation Ethics THE CHRISTMAS TURKEY Uncle Isham speaks: Ole Solon got converted And larned to trust in prayer; Whene'er a 'sire struck him He took and knelt right dare! And now wid Christmas comin* He 'gin an' earnest pray: Lord, send to me a turkey To eat on Christmas Day !" A solid week he wrastle Wid des dat only prayer. He seed no turkey comin'. And Christmas nearly dare. So Solon change his prayin', Not de sperrit, but de word: "Lord, send me to a turkey — '" You think dat prayer was heard? He prayed it warm and earnest, And kep' his faith right bright, And Solon go two turkeys Dat very Christmas Night ! [ 11 ] THE RULING PASSION Old Master tells it : Poor Mammy Jane lay ill in her bed, She must have good food the doctor said. There came by chance the friend in need, Heard the prescription said: "Yes, indeed, Mammy must have a nice little chick. Mammy's grandson must go for one quick. There must not be the least delay — And right here was the dollar to pay — " No sooner the lady's goodbye was said Than Mammy called feebly from her bed: "Here, Boy, come gimme dat dollar, I say — And go get dat chicken — in de natchal way V [ 12 ] PROOF POSITIVE Uncle Isham : No, I won't watch out de Ole Year Night, Niggers in church is a plum out sight, Tryin' for to ac' like dey was white. No good to ax me, no good to coax, . • Dat 'ligion belongs to rich white folks; Dat Peter and John and James and Mark Dey was all as white as sycamore bark — You don't believe it? I'll prove it so — ('Caze if one was white all was, you know.) Now tell me dis: Don't de Good Book say Peter heard de cock 'twixt night and day Crow three times? Well, — if Peter'd been black Dat chicken wouldn't crowed but once — a fac' — *Fo' Peter'd a-had him in a crocus sack ! [ 13 ] THAT GOOSE Old Master speaks: The Goose was luscious, the goose was fine. The darkey preacher was asked to dine — With a glow of expectancy over his face, He carved the goose and asked the grace: "Brudder," said he ; "dis a rich piece er meat. It's bodacious juicy and teetotal sweet, "Whar did you git such a goose, Brer Joe?" The dark host straightened and answered so: "Sah ! I ax vou fust, — den I'll ansah vou next — Y' sermon was trood, whar'd vou get de text?" "Well, — somewhar, Brudder, 'twixt Colossus and John, And de fust Revilation and Ephesion — " "Yas, Brudder, / tell you, I got dis goose Betwixt two suns sorter flyin* loose — "Which flock it b'long wid can't tell wid truth, But it rest 'twixt de Judge's and Ole Aunt Ruth !" [ 1* ] AT THE BAPTIZING Uncle Sampson speaks: Was you at Baptizin' yitsiddy, Sal, Wjien they put down ole Uncle Isham's gal? 'Twas de joyfulles' meetin' I ever is seen, I went in de ox cart wid old man Green. When dat preacher put Susan in de pool She come up hollerin' and shoutin' in de cool: "Onct I was lost ! But now I is foun' ! I seed Saint Gab'iel as I went down !" Dat half-wit Carter, — he mos' a plum fool, — He been baptize and des come out de pool, He say: "Dat wan't no Saint Gab'el, Sis Su — Dat was des a mud-turtle, — I seen dat, too!" [ 15 ] THE PLANTATION CHOIR Preacher Man speaks: Brudder Brown^ us has a choir to St. Mary's, Us 'ud like to have you in it, if you please; Us has de chorus and de solo, too, — Now which-a-one best suits yo' voice and you? Brudder Brown swelled out his splendid chest. Pulled up his collar and pulled down his vest: "Don't, Brudder, put me in dat chorus dar, 'Caze de way I sing best is — des singular !" [ 16 ] A PLANTATION PRAYER Preacher Maw. Lord, come and bless dis meetin' now, Us needs a blessin' heah, I vow ! Come, 'mejiate. Lord. Oh, come right down! And convict dese sinners grinnin' 'round, All fleein' from Grace and pushin' back — Des as quick for fire as hay in a stack ! Come, 'mejiate. Lord, oh, come right quick: Come des as sudden as de drappin' of a brick! Don't pester, Lord, to come 'round by de do', Whar de sinners is crowdin' back mo' and mo' — Des come th'oo de house-top ! Bust right th'oo ! I'll pay for de shingles if You do i [ 17 ] A PLANTATION SERMON Uncle Isham: Two mighty 'zorters were Juba and John, Of Hickory-Stand-Church and of Zebulon. Ole Juba he preach by Inspiration, Ole John he preach by de slow Creation. "I can preach," said Juba; "on any text, Dis-a-one suit me as good as de next; Mo' 'n dat I can preach on any word Dat any among you heah is heard." It was des de time of de Big Spring 'Vival, Just time thought John to squelch his rival: "You say inspiration yo' mouf will fill To preach on a word. Well. Preach on a — Pill!' Dar! Dat broke de jug and spilt de molasses! But Juba took off and wiped his glasses — He splunged den into dat cur'ous text Like he wa'n't even a little bit vexed: "Oh-a-a-a ! Oh, my brudders, I come heah to preach tonight Dat dar's pills for all sorter human plight, — Dar's pills for de hearin' and pills for de sight, Dar's pills for de conjure and for de snake-bite, Dar's a pill to cure and a pill to kill, Dar's a pill for all sorter bodily ill — But dar's des one pill for yo' soul's good will And, brudders, dat pill is de sound — Gospil!" [ 18 ] THE CHRISTIAN GUN Preacher Man: Y'all ax what is de Christian's gun? It is de ole Bible Book, my son ! Wid Tes'ment New and Tes'ment Ole, You gotter study dem bof, I'm tole. It's des like my muzzle loadin' gun. Got Hind and Fo' sight bof, — not one: When I want to get de ve'y best aim De Hind and de Fo' bof gets dey claim. De gun to shoot 'viction th'oo and th'oo De sinner is dat Ole and dat New — I'm aimin' it now — right straight and true- Watch out, sinner, dat it don't hit you ! [ 19 ] THE PRAYER OF THE WEATHER WISE PARSON Uncle IsJiam : De niggers' corn it was burnin' brown. Even dey cotton was wiltin' down; Seem like de clouds done forgot how to rain. Us look for weadder, look in vain. At last de darkeys got all togedder And 'cide dey '11 pray for some damp weadder. Dey call on ole Bre'r Baker to lead, — He 'low he don't want to do it, indeed, He 'low de Lord know his business best — • But de folks wouldn't let dat ole man rest 'Caze dey know he was a power in prayer — So he give consent and knelt right dare: "Lord, Lord, dar's a drought in dis dry land, Famin' is feared here for beast and man, My Lord, oh, won't you raise up yo' ban' And sprinkle de rain on dis heah Ian' ? My Lord ! Yo' Good Book is full of rain — From Kiver to Kiver and back again — De reign of David and de reign of Saul — De Bible tell's us about 'em all ! For heah in de One-Eyed Kings, I see De story of David and how he Had a reign in Israel forty year. And furderer mo' it do appear He'd a reign in Hebron for seven year — And many mo' in Jerusalem, — De oil roll down to his garments hem ! But, Lord, we don't want no rain like dat! We don't want no swisher-swasher, — oh ! We don't want no gulley washer, — oh ! We des want a drizzlv drazzlv shower Dat'll scurcely hurt de cotton flower ! [ 20 ] Lord ! De dust is risin' in dis land', It's blindin' beast and it's blindin' man. De leaves are parchin' up overhead, De rabbits are pantin' in dere bed — And, my Lord, Yo' Good Book's full of rain — In One-Eyed Sam'l and Two-Eyed again, I read of de reign of Ammonite, De Hittite and de Amalekite — How dey reign on Canaan's happy sho' Some hund'ard and fifty year and mo' — But, Lord, we don't want no rain like dat Wle don't want no swisher swasher, oh. We don't want no guUey washer, oh. We des want a little drizzly, drazzly shower Dat'll scurcelv hurt de cotton flower ! Lord, dar's smoke and fire in de sky, De horizon's brassy far and nigh, De corn's boot 's scursely holdin' water, De cotton 'm wiltin', wizzlin' sorter — And, mv Lord, yo' Good Book's full of rain — In de Three-Eyed- John I read it plain: A thousand year de Dragon'll reign Befo' peace '11 come to earth again: But, Lord, we don't want no rain like dat, We don't want no swisher, swasher, oh, We don't want no gulley washer, oh. We des want a little drizzly, drazzly shower That'll surely hurt de cotton flower !" [ 21 ] Ole Baker's voice went up and went down, De darkey's got to shoutin' around; But soon as he pray dat pow'ful prayer He riz up and scent de sultry air, Sez he: "I prayed for rain like you said, I'd better been hocin' hard instead — I prayed for rain, but you all won't get it Twel wind chnnge and de new moon let it!" [ 22 ] Lights and Shades of Plantation Lovemaking THE CHRISTMAS CAKE WALK The Lover speaks: Come, darkeys, take your places on the cabin puncheon floor, Come cut yo' cunnin' capers if you never dance befo' ! Des watch Miss Seraphina when she trip de Punkin' Vine, Des watch her how she skip along and twist and twirl and twine; It seems des like mv heart strinoj is tied to her little shoe — For she pull it and she tug it ever' step she take she do ! Oh, Seraphina, Honey, come and lay yo' hand in mine, Be sho' my heart strings echo ever' note de banjo whine! Let's make a Pretty-Motion, let's dance de Tu-re-lu: No two can step togedder, gal, so v/ell as me and you ! Now hear de fiddle startin' up its sing-a-sing also — You be de singin' fiddle, gal, and I will be yo' beau ! Oh, let's be partners, Seraphina, down de lover's lane, Whar dem what loves is happy in de sunshine and de rain: Den even if us hoein', gal, adown de cotton row 'Twill seem like us is dancin' if us move togedder so — ! Den be my wife, my Seraphina, I will be yo' dear — And won't it seem like Christmas den, Christmas all de year ! [ 25 ] THE PROPOSAL Young Mistress speaks: A very shy fellow was dusky Sam, As slow of talk as a typical clam; He couldn't make love to his Angeline, Although his love grew like Jonah's gourd vine. So he brought then the telephone to his aid. To assist his wooing the "nut brown maid." "Miss Angeline.'* — er — Is dat you?" called he. "Yas, dis is Angeline. Yas, dis is me !" " 1 — wanter say — hold de 'phome — I loves you ! — Is you on de wire? — ^Does you love me, too?" "Yas — yas — dis is me — course I loves my beau — Say — what's de reason you wanter know?" "I wanter ax — will you marry me — true?" "Yas, course I will. — Hold de 'phome — who is you?" [ 26 ] THE STRANGENESS OF IT Uncle Isham speaks: Just atter de War it seemed to Uncle Dan Dat keepin' a boadin' house was a good plan; He went to Mobile and he opened one dar, And de niggers flocked to it fum nigh and far. One day ole Dan he come in fum de city And de sight he seed it sho was a pity — His daughter Lu on de porch he found her Settin' wid a new boarder's arm around her ! Ole Dan he 'sclaim: "What you doin', Lu? YoU;, gal, I puffec' shame er you ! You tell dat nigger right now to his face To take his arm from around yo' waist — " La ! den ! What you think dat Lu gal say ? She ansah her daddy back dis-away: "Tell him yo'sel'f ! 'Caze dat nigger man he Is no mo'n a puffec' stranger to me !" [ -^7 ] THE MARRIAGE LICENSE Pomp speaks: You's got back, ^lassa, from de town — You fetch de may'age license down? Dem license read for Sal and me? Dat's pity, Massa, 'caze you see Sence you been gone I change my min' And 'elude I'll ma'y Adeline — You take dem license, change de name, Lemme ma'y on dem all de same — Can't do dat? Cost two dollars mo'? Oh, no, sah, Massa. No, sah, no — Des you leave de name dat's written dar Sal's Ain't two dollars diffuence 'twixt dem gals. [ ^^S ] THE MARRIAGE FEE Uncle I sham'. Parson, what's de cost of ma'yin' a man? Des tell yo' price. I'll meet it best I can You say: Make it des whiat dis bride is wof ? Parson, put it dat way it sho is rough! If I gotter pay de wof of dis wife Den ma'in' is got me ruint for life! Why dis wife's wof de whole of creation — She is wof all of a big plantation — ' Wof a pair mules and de wagon, too, — Heah's half-dollar. Parson, won't dat do? [ 29 ] MONEY AND MATRIMONY Young Mistress: Old Rhett was hoeing my garden in May, He took off his hat, stopped his hoe to say: "Mistis, dar's a thing I wanter ax you, 'Tis a thing dat pesters dis darkey true: What you 'spose women folks wants wid money? When us feeds and clothes 'em it is funny Dat dey keeps pest'rin' a man 'bout money ; Now dar is my wife, dat dar Yaller Caddy, Ax me for a dollar las' gone Saddy, And Sunday 'twas two, and Monday 'twas fo', "Wthat does she do with so much. Uncle Rhett?" "I dunno, Miss, 'caze I gin her none yet — And mo'n dat I ain't a-gwineter, I bet!" [ 30 ] THE PLANTATION WIDOW Uncle Isham: Aunt Cinthy owns to good four score, And she has few years several more; But she done buried her old man. And he done left her house and Ian'. Si Cinthy has a many a beau, But she is hard to suit for sho' ! Dis one too ole, dat one mo' so — And dis is de man dat she told : No ! Dis one too full of joke and laugh, Dat one got nothin' but a wobbly calf ; And dem what has dey sho' wants mo'- So de man she takes is rich old Joe. [ 31 ] PLANTATION SERENADE The Lover Sings: Coffee grows on a White Oak Tree, Rivers all stuff wid brandy. Oh, come, my love, and go wid me, I'll feed you off sugar and candy — Miss Cora she loves sugar and tea. Miss Cora she loves candy ! Miss Cora she can whirl all 'round. And kiss her lover so handy ! Cinnamon's cheap as hick'ry chips. Flowers all stuff wid honev, De bees all come and freely sips — And my pockets all full of money — Miss Cora she loves sugar and tea, 'Miss Cora she loves candy ! Miss Cora she can whirl all 'round, And kiss her lover so handy ! Ginger grows on a 'tater-vine. Trees all drippin' wid 'lasses ! De muscadine will make us wine, And we'll hollow out gourds for glasses ! Miss Cora she loves sugar and tea. Miss Cora she loves candy ! Miss Cora she can whirl all 'round, And kiss her lover so handy ! [ S2 ] Spices grow on a goober-vine, Pretty gals thick as pindars, Oh, what's de cause you can't be mine Wid my banjo's under yo' winders? Miss Cora she loves sugar and tea, iMiss Cora she loves candy ! Miss Cora she can whirl all 'round, And kiss her lover so handy ! [ 33 ] TAKE MY HEART BUT NOT MY HOARD Young Mistress: Aunt Chainy's wedding day had come, I think it was her third, Aunt Chainy come to tell me she Was happy as a bird ! Hands folded on her ample waist, She stood all sunny joy, And told me of her married bliss — All gold witliout alloy. "I thanks you for your present, Miss, It sho' is nice and sweet; La ! Yassum, it des like you said. My happiness complete ! Now, Miss, I brung my money dat I is done save dis year. To ax you for to keep it, Ma'am, I know it be safe heah. Me keep it 'wid a husband now You think I safely can — I risk no money in my house Wid dat strange nigger man !" [ 34 ] BABE'S MARRIAGE Aunt Chloe speaks: Yas, she's ma'y'd^ my Babe, my Liz — My chile's may'ed now. Dat she is, Jimmy Dick's got her now for his. Not no nigger gal never befo' Had a weddin' like my baby — No! Ma'y'ed in de White Folks Sunday School, May'ed by White Folks Pra'er Book rule — By young Master, de Bishop, yes — And he wo' his Black Satin Dress ! I hardly knowed my li'l Marse John, He had so much Black Satin on — He also wo' some scarfs of lace — But I know 's same sweet, smilin' face. Of co'se he may'ed his Mammy's Babe, (Like he'll lay Mammy in her grabe) I wisht you had a seed my chile, Dressed all in white and flowers dat while. Ma'y'ed she was wid a rale gole ring. Marched in while all de White Folks sing: Ma'y'ed, you say, wid great Eclat? Tain't so. She may'ed by no Eclat — 'Twas a — 'Piscopal Bishop dat done it. — Dar! [ 35 ] THE GREATEST WEDDIN' Aunt Chloe: Yas'm. 'Twas de greatest' weddin' to be sho' — Dat's gal's dress it scrope on de flo', I never seed sech another long trail, Ever' thing even to her shoes was white — And her cotton gloves they fit so tight ! Yas'm, I was proud of my grandchile, sho' — Dar was weddin' gues'es dar some hiind'ard or mo'; Dey had fo' preachers a-standin around. From coal black clean to ginger-bread-brown ! Li'l Jake liketer rid my son's grey mule down Des fetchin' dat pair license from town. Yas'm de finest weddin' supper to be sho', Six cakes icened and den some mo' ; Dar was Trimblin' Truck and 'Possum and Pie, An* Persimmon Beer twel I thought I'd die ! Dar was chicken stew and de rabbit hash, — Oh, dat supper cost my son some cash ! Yas'm, dose darkeys did dance to be sho'. You ought seed de couples on dat flo': Dey cut Pigeon Wing and de Mobile Buck, Dey Jump Jim Crow and de Dodgin' Duck: Dem nigger's dance twel de Eas' was bright. Some un 'em dance twel 'twas broad day light. Yas'm 'twas de greatest weddin' to be sho' — Like doin's endurin' de war befo'. And I must be satisfied, you allow? And my grandchile's safely may'ed now? Well'm, not exactly, — as you might say, — 'Caze de bridgegroom he des stayed away! [36 ] Plantation Pictures, Politics and Philosophy UNCLE ISHAM THINKS— AND TALKS Uncle I sham'. Yas' I'm free — and I'm hongry, too ! If I had-a knowed 'twas sech a great todo To keep one nigger in meat, 'bacon and cloze, And to try to keep him sheltered from out-a do's I'd a-never give my vote to be free, If Marsa Abe Lincoln had-a come ax me ! Yas, I'm free — and I'm hongry, too ! And I'm 'bout to work myse'f to death for true; My Ole Massa did give me a little rest — (I dunno 's 'fo' de war ever work my best!) But look like'a now dat I'm my own man I try get all de work out myse'f I can ! Yas, I'm free — and I'm hongry, too! And settin' heah a-studyin' like I do It seems to me queer dat our ole massas fit To keep Yanks from freein' sech a cost'y sit — If it had-a been me I'd fought to save Myse'f from owin' a single nigger slave I Yas, I'm free — and I'm hongry, too ! I'm de worst sorter 'spence to myse'f for true — Don't keer how wag on de weather and de worl' I gotter keep workin', strivin' in a whirl — Lord ! I had mo' time to think 'bout my soul When Massa kep' my cloze an my body whole. [ 39 ] THE OFFICE SEEKER Uncle Inham: Marse Lewis you is in dat Congress now, Dey is proud for to have you dar, I low ! Won't you he'p dis ole nigger man along, Des gimme a note in de cho'us song: You 'members, Marse Lewis, how I n'useter drive Yo' Grandma's carriage when she was alive? Well, — I ain't forgot to handle de rein — Wanter be coachman on de road again ! I'll drive you fine, Marse, I do declare, if You gimme rein seat in dat High Tariff! [ 40 ] • ' HIS PARTY Uncle Isham speaks: \\liat's my party? I got none, Boss, You may take my vote for des what it cos' — My \Miite People was de 'vidin' up kin'. So I couldn't tell which party to jine. Ole Master was a ole line Whig, Him and Henry Clay rode in de same gig; Marse John, his son. was Jackson Democrat, — You know dat party? You is hearn of dat? Marse Joe, he was a mugwump, man. — Marse Dock he leaped de fence, — he a 'Publican,- Marse Bill, well, he was a somnambulist — He gin us mo' trouble dan all de rist. [ 11 ] IN THE DOCK IN DIXIE Old Master: Cuffey stood in the dock in Dixie, Light fingered fellow he and tricksy. The Judge was ready to call the case, Wih dignified mien and solemn face He asked: "Is that boy there the accused?" Beneath that stern eye Cuff grew confused : "Oh, no, Massa Judge, I ain't dat now — I'm des only de boy dat stole de cow !" [ 42 ] AUNT DINAH'S PICTURE Aunt Dinah: No, I don't want my picter took, Gwine all round in de paper and de book— Ever-body knowin' des how I look. You paint 'em good ! I know you do. Make ole folks look as good as new — You tuck Jincy dressed for de Barbecue! And dey say Sis' Jane's her ve'y spit, Dey say folks can't tell her fum hit — But dat don't change my mind a bit. I'm gwine ter stay — des me — like I be, If de Lord had — a wanted two er me He'd — a made me twins at fust, you see ! [ 4 UNCLE SAMPSON'S RULE Uncle Sampson speaks: Give you some tobacco? I ain't got a bit; Chewin' 'bacco's somethin' I done long since quit; I tell you it's saved me many a dollar Since I quit chewin' what I couldn't swaller ! So heah's a tune you can fit to any song, For it's nigh about as broad as 'tis long: Don't jump a coon you can't run to de holler, Don't waste time chewin' what you can not swaller ! Don't start into nothin' you can't clean out do. Don't lift any load you can't tote clean on th'oo: Don't turn down der road you ought not to foller, — And don't chew on nothin' you cannot swaller ! [ 44 ] AT THE SIGN OF THE SUNFLOWER Aunt Chloe speaks: How come so many sunflowers round my do' ? Folks say dey bring good luck, but I dunno. Yas. Luck is wid de Lord. Dat's what I know; But den dese flowers is easy to grow ! Dey sho' do make a mighty shinin' spot — I dunno wh'e'er it show from heav'n or not — But if God see it, — wouldn't it be queer If He would drap a blessin' down right here ! [ 45 ] AGE VERSUS YOUTH Aunt Dinah: Young folks has a mighty min' Old folks fools dey thinks; Dey wants to bate down ole folks wine. And teach ole heads new kinks ! Ole folks has some 'sperience, an' Young folks fools dey know Can't no mo' teach 'em sense dan can Teach June time how to snow ! [ 4^6 ] NIGGER AND DE CORN PONE Uncle Isham: If death hide in de corn-pone What's a nigger gwine to do? To hear of dis pellagra Gives me de ague, too ! "Corn pone" and "Hoe cake" "Dumplin's" in de pot, "Johnny cake" and "Aig bread" "Spoon bread" fire hot — "Ash cake" and "Muffins" "Bops" and "Dabs" and "Crisps" "Batter bread" and "Mush bread" "Corn sticks" and "Wisps" "Mush," and "Cush" and "Grits" "Lye hominy" and "Gruel" Say dat us must give up dese — Lawdy ! Ain't it cruel ? If death hides in de corn pone What a nigger'll hatter do Is die of Old Starvation And New Pellagra, too! [ '17 ] AN ALABAMA GOMBO Aunt Chloe: You wanter know how dis heah Gombo Can ever be made so good? Your fire. Young Miss, is bound to be dis: Twelve hours er hick'ry wood. Den okra and chicken and bacon to fry And 'martoes to peel and stew ; Wid a nice bit er lamb, a slice of ham, Maybe a young squab or two. You must grate fresh corn, — Sho' as you born 'Twill thicken 3^0' soup just right! Sage leaves prime — and a bit of thyme, Dese can be gethered o'er night. Den a onion round, fried just a neat brown, A hand full of butter beans ; Den have yo' pot des bilin' hot — Put all in and stir betweens. Den sit and watch and stir dat hotch-potch Us call it a all day job ! For it's 'bleeged to bile twel it's teetotal lie, — Twel you cain't tell kid from squab ! Den : Have a dish ? Lawdy ! Ain't it rich } A crisp, green pepper beside. And a plate of rice, cooked dry and nice — Best eatin' you ever tried ! Dat's a meal's meat a Colonel'd eat Whilst a war waited over de way: For I never ain't not seed a man leave dat pot If only des half axed to stay ! [ 48 ] UNCLE ISHAM'S WAY TO COOK A 'POSSUM Uncle I sham : Fust thing you ketch yo' 'possum, — And dat ain't easy, chile; Sometime to ketch one 'possum I walk a good ten mile ! Den kill and scrape and clean him And lay him in a pan; Den slip him in de oven — An ole brick oven, man ! Pour round a little water, Have de oven in a blaze ! Set 'taters also bakin' In skins de ole time ways. When you see dem 'taters breakin' And lettin' sugar out Why den des take and peel 'em And drap 'em 'round about Dat 'possum rich wid gravy — ! Come, have a piece ! Take some ! Um-um ! Um-um ! Um-um ! Um-um ! [ 49 ] THE END OF THE ROW Uncle Donum speaks: Des look like I come to de end er my row — Doughi I uster carry Ole Massa's lead-hoe ! Las* year I los' my mule, and my wife, and my cow, And dat sorter broke up my spirit, I 'low. r don't wanter strike in de plow no mo'. Seem like de sun don't shine like it shin' befo'. I miss my ole 'oman a-workin' by my side. Like she uster do afo' she died. Workin' long side er me, in and tho'o Workin' des same as a man would do ! Den you can't go to crappin' widout any mule No mo'n you can learn 'dout de book at school. Dar set de empty churn in de cabin now — You can't have buttermilk 'dout any cow. Seem like de world all runnin' to weed, 'Pear like no good to put in de seed. Don't matter what I plant, don't matter what I sow. Look like I don't keer whe'er dey come up or no — Livin-interes' wid me is de hard crap to grow — Fer look like I'm clean at de end er my row. [ 50 ] Plantation Little People MARK'S SANTA CLAUS Mark speaks: Christmas comin' ? Yas, I know — It done been right heah befo'; But Sandy Claws he don't know me- Nigg^r mos' too black to see ! Got my name 'caze folks say dark 'Sider me 's a shinin' mark ! Sandy Claws a'ready come? Left me tilings to des tote home? Apples, candy, marbles, top — I'll go crazy you don't stop! Christmas come ! Hi-ri ! I know 'Taint come disa-away befo' ! Dat a fine man, Sandy Claws, Bring a nigger alleys, taws — He so good dat for a fac' I b'lieve he hisse'f is — black ! [ 33 ] PROGRESS OF A PICCANINNY Aunt Dinah: Dis chile's brung up pintedly right for sho', He's fetch up de way dat he ought to go ; Dar's not a man's hat done tetch on his head — Dat'd make him teeth liard de ole folks said. Dar's a dog-tooth hangin' right now on his neck. And a sih^er picayune, I 'spec' And elder-pith on a cotton string, And a conju'-bag and everything! Us got his pallet-lock tied up tight, And de almonds of his ears is rubbed up right; Us ain't let de chile look into de glass — (If a chile see itself it soon will pass) Us tote no chunk of fire fo' his eyes. Us ain't let nobody medjure his size — Yas. If God sesso he'll grow and he'll thrive. And one hund'ard years stay hearty and live ! [ 54 ] LI'L' LONESOME Li'r Sam: Uncle Ike sent me to wait on yoii^ ma'am, I ain't name nothin' but des LiT Sam. No'm, I don't b'long to nobody at all, My folks all died wid fever las' fall. I ain't got no people, only des me, — Uncle Ike 's des feller-servant-kin, you see. But, oh. Miss, I useter have de clostest kins- Oh, yas, ma'am, I sho' useter be twins ! But 'tother one's out in de grave yard now- Dat's why I feel so lonesome, I 'low. [ 55 ] \ HIDING THE YOUNG Black Mammy sings: Black Sheep, Black Sheep, Whar yo' little lamb? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing. And de mockin' bird sing — Po' liT lamb bleatin': Mammy! Red cow, red cow, Whar yo' little calf? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing, And de mockin' bird sing — Po' li'r calf cryin' : Mammy ! Grey mare, grey mare, Whar yo' little colt? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing. And de mockin' bird sing — Po' liT colt whinny: Mammy! Nanny goat, nanny goat, Whar yo' little kid? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing. And de mockin' bird sing — Po' li'l* kid baa-in' : Mammy ! Ole sow, ole sow, Whar yo' li'l' pig? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing. And de mockin' bird sing — Po' li'l' pig squealin' : Mammy ! [ 56 ] Yaller dog, yaller dog, Whar yo' liT pup? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing, And de mockin' bird sing — Po' lil' pup barkin': Mammy! Tabby cat, tabby cat, Whar yo' little kit? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing, And de mockin' bird sing — Po' liT kit mewin': Mammy! Beasty bear, beasty bear, Whar yo' li'l' cub? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing, And de mockin' bird sing — Po' li'r cub whinin' : Mammy ! White doe, white doe, Whar yo' little faun? 'Way down in de valley — And de buzzard flop he wing, And de mockin' bird sing — Po' liT faun sobbin': Mammy! [ 57 ] PLANTATION PLAY SONG Black Mammy : Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden. Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden, I'll holler and shout and tromp about, And break my neck if I can't get out, — But I leap so swift dat I leap right out And leave dem ladies' gyarden! Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden. Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden. And dey skip and sing and dance and swing. And whirl and twirl me in dis ring, — Dey's all as pretty as a rose in spring, — And dey keep me in dis gyarden ! Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden, Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden, I must choose one, and I can't choose all, — I'll take de tall, I'll take de small, I'll choose wid eyes against de wall — While I'm in dem ladies' gyarden ! Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden. Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden. Some's bright, I see, some's light mustee, And some 's as black as black can be, Oh, which is de best to suit to 'me WUien I leave dese ladies' gyarden ! Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden. Oh, I'm in dem ladies' gyarden. Oh, I hatter choose, and I hatter loose, So I take de lightest trippin' shoes Dough I want to give to all dey dues When I leave dem ladies' gyarden ! [ 58 ] DE BABY'S FEET Aunt Dinah: If you wants dis baby to walk right soon, His feet be swift as a slim new moon ! I'll tell you what you'll hatter do — (It's a ole nigger sign, but it sho' is true) You must sweep off de top of de baby's feet, And sweep 'em nice and sweep 'em neat, Wid a tiny bit of straw from de broom: Dat'll make him walk all over de room ! [ 39 ] BREEZE IN THE BOUGH Black Mammy sings: Hop light, ladies, Cake's all dough; Never mind the weather So the wind don't blow ! Jump light, ladies, Wine all lees; Never mind the weather So us des get a breeze ! Skip light ladies. Pie's all crust; Never mind the wind So it don't raise a dust ! Trip light, ladies. Beer's all foam ; Never mind the weather So the wind blow home! Hop light, ladies, Nummine how ; We'll rock-a-bye to sleep When de breeze in de bough ! [ 60 ] QUALITY Uncle Isham speaks : At Christmas my Ole Mistis she Give th'ee fine dinners, don't you see; She give de invites out to me And I totes 'em 'round on de nag, Barbee. To de fust us axes de Quality, Dem wid blue blood and ancestry; To de nex' us bid de Bob-Quality, Dem what ain't, but'd like to be. To de last us call de Commonality, Plain folks 'dout no trimmin's dee, Dey can't talk 'bout what used to be. Ain't got nothin' but raw money. But, oh, la! now, sence niggers is free, De rail on top is Commonality, De nex' in line is Bob-Quality — And de fine old Quality — Whar is dee.^ [ 61 ] ^ In White and Black DADDY AND DE BOY Uncle Sampson'. Who know whar de fishes swim quick and sleek, 'Way down by de ole plantation creek? Who fish for de trout and de brim airy one? Daddy and de liT Man-Son! Who know how to halter dat skittish colt — Hold him by de mane when he try to bolt? When de wile colt buck — des call dat fun ! Daddy and de liT Man-Son ! \^^o know how to set wid a steady stride? Him leap from his cradle knowin' how to ride! He feared of a horse? Not nai'y one — Daddy and de li'F Man-Son! Who know how to handle dem reins like a man- Us speedin' de track wid de trottin' span? Who dat holler when de race good run? Daddy and de liT Man-Son! Who know how to wrastle all de Quarter roun'- Git all de liT niggers down on de groun'? — Who most can lift up a half of a ton? Daddy and de liT Man-Son ! ^Vlio gives de gang odds on de jump or de run, And scurse he blowed when de race be run, Been beat^ nor left, nor pass by none! Daddy and de liT Man-Son ! [ 65 ] Who love for to hunt dem sq'il in de wood? And he aim so straight and he shoot so good, And he bring 'em right down wid his own liT gun- Daddy and de liT Man-Son! Who gwine to dat Congress when he's a man, Be a Colonel, den a Gen'al, des fast as he can? Keep leadin' de race like his folks began — Daddy's Ole Massa's Grandson ! [ 66 ] HUSH LFL' BABY Black Mammy sings: Hush, li'r Baby, don't say a word — Mammy gwine to buy you a mockin' bird, Wlhen dat bird begin to sing — Knock on de hiammer^ — Ting-a-ling ! Mammy gwine to buy you a iinger-ring: When dat ring begin to wear Mammy gwine to buy you a rockin' chair: When dat chair begin to rock Mammy gwine to buy you a ever'-day-clock- When dat clock go tick-a-tock ! Mammy gwine to buy you a blue silk frock: When dat frock begin to tear, Mammy gwine to buy you a golden stair ! Wlien dat stair begin to creak Mammy gwine buy you a doll can speak: When dat doll begin to break Mammy gwine to buy you a caraway-cake: When dat cake begin to melt ]Mammy gwine buy you a diamond belt: When dat belt begin to bin' Mammy gwine buy you a red-rose-vine: When dat vine begin to grow Mammy gwine to buy you a coach and fo': When dat coach begin to stop Mammy gwine buy you a spinnin'-top ! When dat top begin to spin Mammy gwine to buy you a guinea-hin: When dat bin begin to squawk — Now den, Honey, don't you talk — Hush-sh-sh! [ 67 ] BABY'S FIRST DRINK OF WATER Black Mammy speaks: Baby must take her very first drink Out of a golden cup^ I think — From a teeny, weeny golden cup Baby must take her very first sup. Dat'll insu' her riches, you see, And make her happy as can be ! So her very first drink she must behold In Mother's thimble of pure gold ! [ 68 ] MAMMY'S SLEEPY SONG Black Mammy sings? Bird-eye-lady ! 'Pend on me ! Pretty little lady, lemme see Who dat bird wid eye so bright Shine like you'n day or night? Bye, my pretty little baby, bye. Eye as bright as a jay-bird's eye! Sweet mouf lady ! Red-bird wing ! Pretty little lady ! Lemme sing — Mouf as soft as a liT bird nest Mouf as red as a robin's breast! Bye, my pretty little baby, oh — So red mouf, I love you so ! Short nose lady ! Heah you goes ! Pretty little lady, you suppose Bird gwine want a nice liT nose Yas, my Honey, des like yo's? No, my pretty little baby, no — Sleepin' softly now for sho' — (Hush— 'sh— ) Pink ear lady! What you hear? Pretty little lady, it appear Dat you is in Shut-eye-town Drivin' dream-bird wings around — Bye, my pretty little baby, you Sweet as honey, fresh as dew ! ('Sh— hush~'sh— 'sh— ) [ 69 ] Bird eye lady ! Tend on me ! Pretty little baby, heah you be Fast asleep on Mammy's knee, Rockin' like a bird in a tree — Bye, my pretty little baby, bye, Eye shut very tight, I spy — ( Yas — Mammy's Lady ! Yas— Hush— 'sh— 'sh— 'sh— ) [ 70 ] GOD'S LI'L' JEWELRY Black Mammy : Who done tangle up Mammy's yarn, Makin' cat's cradle by de ole barn, Makin' crow's-foot and eyes and mo' — Mangle de thread so Mam' can't sew? (Bless dat chile! Laughin' at Mammy all de while — ) God ain't made no whiter pearl Dan yo' teef, my little girl, Mostes' precious thing to me — My chile God's Li'l' Jewelry. Who dat took Mammy's thimble now? Been cuttin' biscuit's, I allow; Nice li'l' biscuits for us to eat; Dat chile's cookin' taste mighty sweet. (Bless dat chile — Peepin' at Mammy all de while) God ain't got no turuoise blue Deeper'n dese eyes. My Honey, you Cost'iest thing round here I see — What cost mo'n God's Jewelry? Done took Mam's handk-cher, what you think? De while I's takin' forty wink; Made a swing out it on dat tree. Mam's keys rockin', like dolls, I see — (I be boun' ! Best not drap noddin' she aroun' !) God ain't paint no ruby red As dis baby's lips foresaid — What my li'l' girl'd ruther be Dan des God's Li'l' Jewelry? [ 71 ] Who dat pick up Mammy's ole shoe? Made a boat out it — 'hew — 'ew — whew ! Dar in de wash tub floatin' roun' ! Mistifis chile, I do be boun' — (Bless de chile ! Curls all wet up now dis while) God ain't got no shinin' gole Brighter'n dis chile's hair do hoi' Babe, you 's des cleam deavenly) 'Caze you's God's LiT Jewelry. Now what you done wid Mammy's 'specs? Lawsy me ! What'll you do nex' ? Yoked de kittens wid Mammy's 'specs Dat's most enough to git me vex. (Bless de chile) A-kissin' Mammy all dis while) God ain't got no diamond dye Brighter'n de light of dis chile's eye — Yas, dem angels done agree Dat you is God's Jewelry. [ 72 ] WHAT MAMMY KINOWS Black Mammij: Do seventh chile of a seventh chile Folks say see ghosts; Diuino 'bout dat, but I know dis chile See de Heavenly Hosts — 'Caze ev'v little while Dat chile she smile! Folks say dimples is a sign of luck, Dunno how dat be: I know angels kiss dese dimples heah, 'Caze dat I see — For ev'v little once in awhile — Dat chile she smile! Dese fat little creases heah, dey say, Around her knee, Owine tie folks heart strings tight to l)er; And dat may be — 'Caze ev'y little once in awhile How she do smile ! Nigger signs good and bad are true; But no ill dare To come, my baby chile, whilst you Are in my care: She know dat, too — 'Caze ev'v little once in awhile W'atch how she smile. [ 7^3 ] THE BLESSED BOOK T wisli I could rend in dis blessed Book, But it do me good to only des look At dese marks dat my Ole Mistis made To' dey laid lier yonder in de sycamore shade. If I hold it up or top-side-down, Don't make no diffunce good is found 'Tvvixt dese two lids, it's dar some way, De Lord put it dar and it's dar to stay! 'Pear like as I look at dese pencil mark Past time git bright and dis time dark, I sees my Ole Miss a-readin' of de Word, I hears her sing de songs I useter heard. r.ord, I does hope in de Golden Lan' Dey '11 keep a small place on de ole time plan Whar my Ole Miss and her niggers can stay Niffh totredder like dey uset in de ole time way •»" "-"o" Dis seperatin' White and Black in de Next May be good for a nigger preacher text — But, oh, my Lord, I wants to go To de ve'v same heaven whar Miss is, — sho' — ! [ 74 ] If l«S!!^ °^ CONGRESS