.tnsflis 
 
^ :^v f>r^ 
 
 C0rvni6HT.l68?, BY MAtOLD ROOneACHi 
 
 3£l00Vbaci)'S full Desccijltibe Catalogue of Dramas, Comedies, Comedieitas, Farces, 
 Tableaux-vivanfs, Guide-books, Novel Enieriainmenfs for Church, School and Parlor 
 Exhibiiiont, etc., containing complete and explicit information, will be sent to cny addrecs 
 on receipt of a stamp for return postage. Address as above. 
 
ATCHL 
 
 CAST OF CHARACTERS. 
 
 Prince of Wales Theatre, 
 London, Sept. 21st, 1868. 
 
 ^ oun Adonis Fickleton i ^^'"- ^- J" Montague. 
 
 LORD ADONIS i-lCKLETON ^ Mr. H. W. Montgomery. 
 
 Sir Martin Mayduke Mr. Blakeley. 
 
 Larkins {Valet to Lord Adonis) Mr. Hill. 
 
 Lady Mayduke Miss Carlotta Addison. 
 
 Emily Hargrave Miss Augusta Wilton. 
 
 PERIOD, 1780. 
 
 Time of Representation — 40 Minutes. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 
 
 Sir Martin Mayduke, an enthusiastic amateur botanist and inventor of 
 a wonderful snuff, siflox nasiim pungens, is visited by Lord Adonis 
 Fickleton, whose name suggests his character, who pays court to Emily 
 Hargrave, the baronet's sister-in-law. Lady Mayduke, having learned 
 of Fickleton's volatility, opposes his pretensions and tries to get rid of 
 him, being resolved that he shall not trifle with her sister's affections. This 
 results in the wager of a silver snuff box between the two, the lady wager- 
 ing that he shall willingly leave the premises before the day is over, Fick- 
 leton insisting that he will remain to secure his end. Then follows a 
 series of moves in which each endeavors to outwit the other. Lady May- 
 duke arouses the comical jealousy of her husband, hoping thus that he 
 will send his lordship away, Fickleton assisting the situation in order that 
 Sir Martin will remain close by his wife and thus allow Adonis greater 
 freedom in paying his respects to Emily. This gives rise to a succession 
 of absurd complications in the course of which Emily believes that her 
 sister has succumbed to his lordship's blandishments, and Sir Martin furi- 
 ously challenges the intruder to mortal combat, the confusion being height- 
 ened by Fickleton's valet who helps to swell the fun of the piece by his 
 clumsiness. When it seems as though Fickleton had won the wager, 
 Lady Mayduke, feeling that she has the one resource of ridicule left, sends 
 
A TCHI. 3 
 
 him the forfeit agreed upon, having first filled it with her husband's won- 
 derful snuff, as a pretended acknowledgement of defeat. Fickleton now 
 presses his suit upon Emily, but, having mechanically taken a pinch of the 
 famous snuff, finds his lovemaking turned into broad burlesque by a suc- 
 cession of inopportune sneezes in the midst of his tenderest passages, the 
 others appearing in the meantime, to witness his discomfiture. Seeing him- 
 self thus outwitted, Fickleton contrives to make Lady Mayduke take a 
 pinch of the snuff, she passing it on to her sister, and Sir Martin sneezing 
 his head nearly off meanwhile. In the confusion of a general and irresist- 
 able paroxysm of sneezing, the complications are straightened out, and 
 Fickleton, proving in earnest for once in his life, secures the heart and 
 hand of the fair Emily amidst a chorus of Atchis ! 
 
 COSTUMES. 
 
 Sir M. Mayduke. — Plum-coloured square-cut coat, canary-coloured 
 waistcoat and breeches, top boots. 
 
 Lord Adonis. — Marone velvet coat, light vest, silver grey satin breeches, 
 shoes and buckles. 
 
 Lady Mayduke. — Pink satin. 
 
 Emily. — Blue satin. 
 
 Larkins. — Livery. 
 
 (The costumes may, with propriety, be entirely modern.) 
 
 STAGE SETTING. 
 
 Landscape Backing 
 Shrubberij Shrubberij 
 
 -»-+-^-^--l• -+- > -l--^-^--^--^•-^-t- 
 + ^ + 
 
 ■ • Tables eCKairs • H • "^ - 
 
 Scene. — The Garden adjacent to Sir Martin's country house, taste- 
 fully laid out in 3 G.; landscape backing in 4 g. Shubberies and flower 
 beds up R. and i.., in the centre of which is an avenue of shrubs. Set 
 house up R., with entrance R. u. E. All other entrances open. Rustic 
 tables and chairs R. c. and L. c. Two rustic chairs up L. Grass cloth 
 down. (N. B. If desired, a plain interior with entrances R., L., and c, can 
 be substituted with propriety.) 
 
4 A TCHI. 
 
 PROPERTIES. 
 
 Furniture as per scene-plot. Embroidery, letter and gloves for Lady 
 Mayduke. Watering pot for Emily. Bundle of weeds, small digging- 
 fork, morocco case containing snuft-box, gloves, eyeglass and nosegay for 
 FiCKLETON. Small basket filled with bolonical specimens, small hoe, 2 
 horse-pistols and 2 large swords for Sir Martin. Letter and money for 
 Larkins. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 The player is supposed to face the audience. R. means right; L., left ; 
 C, center; r. c, right of centre; L. C, left of centre ; l e., first entrance; 
 2 E., second entrance ; u. e., upper entrance, or one nearest the back; i, 
 2 or 3 G., first, second or third grooves ; Up Stage, toward the back ; 
 Down Stage, toward the foot-lights. 
 
 R. R. C. C. L. C. L. 
 
 Note : The text of the following pages is correctly reprinted from the 
 original authorized acting edition, without change. The introductory mat- 
 ter has been carefully prepared by an expert, and is the only part of this 
 book protected by copyright. 
 
ATCHI. 
 
 Scene. — Sir Martin Mayduke's country house. A garden taste- 
 fully laid out — shrubberies at back, itt the c. of which is an ave- 
 nue. Part of Sir Martin's house is seen at back r. Rustic 
 table, and garden chairs in various parts of the stage. Lady 
 Mayduke seated R. of R. table, employed with embroidery. Emily 
 at back watering flowers with small watering pot. 
 
 Emily, [looking off ) Oh, Mary, I see him — he's coming. 
 
 Lady M. Who"? 
 
 Emily. That dear, fat, rosy-faced, good-tempered, handsome, 
 husband of yours, Sir Martin. 
 
 Lady M. And pray is it on account of my " dear, fat, rosy-faced 
 husband," that you are putting yourself into such a state of ex- 
 citement ? If so, I shall be jealous. Is Sir Martin alone ? 
 
 Emily. Yes, I mean — no, that is — I thought I saw — not that I 
 looked 
 
 Lady M. Exactly ; you didn't look, and yet you saw that my 
 husband was not alone. 
 
 Emily. 1 didn't say anything of the sort. I was only going to 
 observe that — there was somebody with him. 
 
 Lady M. Oh, that's quite a different thing, and I apologize — 
 ha, ha ! and who is Sir Martin's companion ? 
 
 Emily, [hesitating) How can I tell, they are so far off ? 
 
 Lady M. What of that? no distance can be too great for such 
 eyes as yours, that can see without looking — ha, ha ! 
 
 Emily. Then 1 think that Sir Martin's companion is 
 
 Lady M. The handsome, highly perfumed, and superlatively 
 dressed, Lord Adonis Fickleton, adored by women without hearts, 
 envied by men without brains, the leader of fashion, the focus of 
 scandal, colonel of a regiment that has never seen service, master 
 of hounds that have never seen a fox, owner of a yacht that has 
 never seen salt water, and that's all — that's all ! 
 
 Emily, [pouting) Lord Adonis, I am perfectly well aware is no 
 favourite of yours, but remember, sister, I have had no experience 
 of fashionable society beyond our county ball at Rugby ; and, 
 therefore, can form no comparison between Lord Adonis Fickle- 
 
 5 
 
6 A TCHI. 
 
 ton and others of his class, I confess I think him very agreeable 
 — very well bred 
 
 Lady M. Oh, yes, the animal's breed is unquestionable. 
 
 Emily. And as for good nature, you'll allow he must have an 
 ample stock, or would he go out botanizing every day with Sir 
 Martin, puUing up nasty weeds, digging up dirty roots? 
 
 Lady M. At the risk of soiling his hly-white fingers, ha, ha ! 
 
 Emily. Well, as his lordship came down to Fickleton Hall for 
 one day only, and has remained a whole fortnight, botany must 
 have some attractions for him. 
 
 Lady M. No doubt. Who knows but he may have discovered 
 some pretty wild, uncultivated flower, which he wishes to remove 
 from it's present obscurity, and transplant to a richer and more 
 luxuriant soil. [with intention.') 
 
 Sir M. [uiithout L. u. E.) Now then, my lord, jump over the 
 ditch ; if you stick in the middle you won't hurt, the mud's nice 
 and soft. 
 
 Lady M, Here they come. Run, Emily, and see that luncheon 
 is ready, [risitig] and mind it's a good substantial one, for though 
 Lord Fickleton only nibbles, my husband eats. 
 
 (Emily ritns into house r. u. e.) 
 
 Lady M. So, my Lord Viscount Fickleton, you think, like 
 Cassar, you have but to come, see, and conquer. Your insipid 
 gallantries may bewilder poor Emily's head, but they shall never 
 reach her heart — no, I claim an elder sister's right to defend that 
 citadel, my lord, and with no weapons but a sister's love and a 
 woman's wit, I will compel you to raise the siege, depend upon it. 
 
 (Exit L, I E.) 
 
 Enter SfR Martin, l. U. e. , dressed in the costume of a country 
 gentleman. He carries a small basket, in which are plants, 
 weeds, &^c. , a small hoe in his hand. He is followed by Lord 
 Fickleton, dragging a quantity of weeds after him with one 
 hand, and carrying a large three-pronged fork in the other. He 
 drops into the first chair he comes to. 
 
 Sir M. Ha, ha ! why, my lord, you look what we Call regularly 
 done up. 
 
 Lord F. If the term " regularly done up," means thoroughly 
 knocked up, it is singularly applicable to my present physical pros- 
 tration. 
 
 Sir M. Why, we haven't walked more than five miles. 
 
 Lord F. Perhaps not ; but when one is encumbered with a 
 colossal implement of agriculture like my friend here, [showing 
 the fork) five miles appear fifty. 
 
 Sir M. Ha, ha! I say, my lord, I hope you've got all my beau- 
 tiful specimens quite safe. 
 
 Lord F, Oh, yes, here they are. I've been dragging at least 
 
A TCHI. 7 
 
 a ton weight of them after me for the last hour and a half. By- 
 the-by, friend Martin, the next time we go out botanizing together 
 we'll hire a horse and cart, and I'll drive. 
 
 Sir M. Ha, ha ! botany is a beautiful study. Look here, this 
 basket's full of common nettles ; now, 'tisn't everybody knows 
 that there are two sorts of nettles — nettles that sting, and nettles 
 that do not sting, for instance, those do not sting, {taking out a 
 handful of nettles) Oh, damn it, don't they ! {^flinging nettles, away 
 and rubbing his hatids. ) 
 
 Lord F. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Sir M. Here, John, John ! 
 
 Enter Servant^<?w house, R. 
 
 Help me to carry these confounded things into the laboratory. I'll 
 soon be back, my lord, and help you to demolish the luncheon. 
 Confound the nettles. 
 
 Exit into house, R. John gathers up weeds, garden implements, 
 is^c, and follows Sir Martin into house, R, 
 
 Lord F. (seated L. of R. table) A plague on botanists in general, 
 and friend Martin in particular. I've allowed him to make a vic- 
 tim of me by trotting me out with him every morning for a whole 
 fortnight in order that I might have free access to his house and 
 the society of his charming sister-in-law, the fascinating Emily 
 Hargrave. Really, there is an artless innocence, a rustic simpli- 
 city about the dear creature that is absolutely attractive. Yes, I 
 positively must add her to the already somewhat extensive list of 
 my triumphs ; and, when I have gained her youthful affections, I 
 shall — I shall consider what on earth I shall do with theni.(rM«) 1 
 wonder where she is this morning, [looking off R.) She is generally 
 down by yonder bed of flowers — tulips, I think she called them- — 
 no, not tulips, wallflowers — no, sunflowers — no, cauliflowers — no 
 — [still looking R. ) 
 
 Enter Lady Mavduke, l. I. E. 
 
 Lady M. [observing him) So, so, on the watch, I see. [approach- 
 ing him) Good morning, my lord. 
 
 Lord F. Ah, charming Miss Har — I mean my dear Lady May- 
 duke, [aside) Her elder sister, a sort of dragon in petticoats. 
 
 Lady M. But I ought to apologise, you were doubtless expect- 
 ing some one else. 
 
 Lord F. (r. c.) No, not I, I assure you. 
 
 Lady M. [smiling) Indeed — are you quite sure ? 
 
 Lord F. (l. c.) If you do not believe me, I am ready to declare 
 most emphatically 
 
 Lady M. Don't do that, or I certainly shall not believe you. 
 
8 A TCHL 
 
 '^ Lord F. [forcing a laugh) Ha, ha ! you are pleased to be face- 
 tious, [aside) She insults me grossly. 
 
 Lady M. My lord, let us understand each other — I am no 
 longer your dupe. 
 
 Lord F. [starts) Madam ! 
 
 Lady M. Nay, I beg you will hear me out, while I tell you by 
 what means I have been enabled to form a more correct estimate 
 of your character. This letter [producing letter) is from a very 
 dear and valued friend of mine, Lady Mary Martindale ; I believe 
 you know her. 
 
 Lord F. Yes, that is by reputation. 
 
 Lady M. That is precisely what she professes to know of you, 
 for she says [reading) " You tell me you have made the acquaint- 
 ance of Lord Adonis Fickleton. If report does his lordship jus- 
 tice, you could not easily have found a more agreeable compan- 
 ion — " 
 
 Lord F. Her ladyship flatters me. [boiving.) 
 
 Lady M. Wait a little, [reading again) "Or a more insincere 
 man — in a word his sole ambition in life has apparently been to 
 acquire the not very creditable character of a male coquette, 
 whose flirtations have only been exceeded in their number by 
 their heartlessness." Shall I go on ? 
 
 Lord F. Certainly, unless the lady's description of me alarms 
 you. [conceitedly.) 
 
 Lady M. On my own account? Not the least little bit in the 
 world, but I have a sister. 
 
 Lord F. Surely, Lady Mayduke, you cannot for one moment 
 imagine 
 
 Lady M. That you love her? oh, dear no ; that you wish her to 
 \o\e^ you? yes ! and therefore, my lord, I am candid enough to tell 
 you that your absence from Mayduke Hall would not be consid- 
 ered a positive calamity by its mistress, [with a low curtsey.) 
 
 Lord F. A civil way of showing me the door, [smiling) And 
 what if I were dull enough not to take the hint ? 
 
 Lady M. That, my lord, would at once amount to a declaration 
 of war between us; and, depend upon it, you would find me a 
 most determined and indefatigable enemy. 
 
 Lord F. While I am only striving to show myself a zealous and 
 sincere friend. 
 
 Lady M. [smiling) Indeed ! How so ? 
 
 Lord F. By endeavoring to accomplish your slightest wish. 
 [faking a small morocco case from his pocket) The day before yes- 
 terday you were pleased to admire my snuff box, and regretted 
 that you were not within reach of town in order to purchase a 
 similar one to present to your husband on his birthday — this is his 
 birthday, and here [opening case and showing a jewelled snujf box) 
 is the snuff box. [presenting it to Lady Mayuuke.) 
 
A TCHI. . 9 
 
 Lady M. This is indeed most attentive of you, my lord, and only 
 makes me the more solicitous tliat you should no longer waste 
 your valuable time here, but return at once to the scene of your 
 former triumphs, where, doubtless, fresh conquests await you. 
 
 Lord F. What ! leave my botanical studies ! run away from 
 school ! no, no. 
 
 Lady M. {nettled) Your voice is then for war ! 
 
 Lord F. (bowing) I cannot resist the honor of having you for an 
 antagonist. 
 
 Lady M. Be it so. Before the day is past you shall consider 
 yourself beaten. 
 
 Lord F. [conceitedly) I will wager to the contrary. 
 
 Lady M. Indeed! then this snuff box shall be yours if I fail in 
 compelling you to beat; a retreat. 
 
 Lord F. And if you succeed, I place in your fair hands an un- 
 limited order on my jeweller. 
 
 Lady M. Then hostilities at once begin — there lies my gage. 
 {^throwing down her glove.) 
 
 Lord. F. There mine, {throwing down his glove.) 
 
 Lady M. And may the best man win. fexit L. I E.) 
 
 Lord F. Ha ! ha ! now really there is somethmg positively 
 exciting about this, it beats botany hollow. I might have been 
 prevailed upon to abandon my contemplated flirtation with the 
 charming Emily, had I been touchingly and pathetically appealed 
 to, but 1 won't be bullied out of it — no, no; now let me see, my 
 first move is obviously to divert the enemy's attention — in short, 
 to occupy my Lady Mayduke with her own affairs instead ot mine. 
 But how ? Let me think, {walking to and fro.) 
 Enter Larkins, C. from L. 
 
 Larkins. I beg pardon, my lud. (LoRD Adonis keeps walking to 
 and fro) I repeat, I beg pardon, my lud. 
 
 Lord F. (r.) What the devil do you want? 
 
 Larkins. (L.) To unload my bosom. After a severe struggle 
 which has lacerated my feelings considerable, I find myself obleeg- 
 ed to give your lordship warning. 
 
 Lord F. Warning, and pray why? 
 
 Larkins. That's the p'int I'm a coming to, my lud. Sir Martin 
 has promised his housekeeper, Mrs. 'Opkins something 'andsome 
 in the way of a wedding portion whenever she is led to_ymenial 
 haltar, but when he hears that she has selected me for her wsband, 
 and I am still in your ludship's service, I'm afraid he'll halter his 
 mind. 
 
 Lord F. Why ? 
 
 Larkins. Because, my lud, it can't be very long afore Sir Martin 
 makes the unpleasant diskivery that your ludship is in love with 
 his wife. 
 
lO A TCHl. 
 
 Lord F. In love with Lady Mayduke ! what has put that stupid 
 idea into your still more stupid head ? 
 
 Larkins. The hobservation of my own heyes and the lady her- 
 self. Noi two minutes ago she said to me " Larkins, these ten 
 guineas is yours if you'll give me the names of those ladies for 
 whom your master has professed an attachment since you have 
 been in his service." 
 
 Lord F. Well ? 
 
 Larkins. Well, here are the ten guineas, [s hawing money.) 
 
 Lord F. So, the enemy has lost no time in making her first move 
 — I must endeavor to defeat it. 
 
 Sir M. {without) Now, my lord, are you coming to luncheon or 
 are you not ? 
 
 Lord F. [aside) Ah, I see my plan — yes. [aloud) Larkins ! 
 
 Larkins. My lud ? 
 
 Lord F. This way. [beckotts Larkins l. side of stage, then with 
 a loud voice, yet in a mysterious manner, as he sees SiR Martin 
 entering from house R. u. E. ) Larkins, you have discovered my 
 secret, and must assist me in deceiving Sir Martin. 
 
 Sir M. [as he enters overhearing) What's that? [stopping) 
 
 Lord F. He must never suspect the overwhehning, the devour- 
 ing passion I feel for the lovely Lady Mayduke. 
 
 Sir M. [aside) Here's a precious discovery ! 
 
 Lord F. A passion to which I have every reason to believe her 
 ladyship is not insensible. 
 
 Sir M. [aside) The devil she isn't ? 
 
 Lord F. Therefore he must be kept in the dark for his own sake, 
 because if he were to make the discovery, he would certainly 
 challenge me, and I should as certainly run him through the body. 
 
 Sir M. [aside) The murderous villain. 
 
 Lord F. Which I need not say would be very painful to me. 
 
 Sir M. [aside) And not particularly pleasant for me. 
 
 Lord F. Consequently, he must be kept as much as possible 
 apart from his wife. 
 
 Sir M. Must I.'' then I'll stick to her like her shadow. (Lord 
 Adonis turns and feigns astonishfnent at seeing Sir Martin.) 
 
 Lord F. Ah, is that you, my dear friend ? 
 
 Sir M. [aside) He calls me his dear friend, the villain. 
 
 Lord F. I'm sorry I shall not be able to accompany you on 
 your botanical expedition this afternoon. 
 
 Sir M. What a pity, [aside) The ruffian. 
 
 Lord F. But Larkins will be proud to supply my place. (Larkins 
 bows to Sir Martin.) 
 
 Sir M. [aside) Will he? that's all you know about it. [aloud) I 
 mean to stop at home myself ; the fact is, I don't feel very well. 
 
 Lord F. [using his eye glass) You look bilious. 
 
 Larkins. Looks like jaundice. 
 
A TCHI. 1 1 
 
 Lord F. Retire, Larkins. I dine with Sir Martin — indeed, I 
 spend the day with Sir Martin, don't I, Sir Martin ? 
 
 (exit Larkins c. audi..) 
 
 Sir M. [with a grimace') Y-es. [aside) And a double distilled ass 
 Sir Martin was to invite you. 
 
 Lord F. Ah, here come the ladies. How charming Lady May- 
 duke looks. Really, friend Martin, I positively envy you. 
 
 Sir M. [aside) Damn his impudence ! 
 
 Lady Mayduke and'E.ui'LY enter L. i e. — Lord Adonis advances 
 
 to meet them, when Sir Martin sudden/y passes her over to the 
 
 other side of him. 
 [aside) Ha, ha! I had him there. 
 
 Lady M. [surprised) Why, what is the matter, my dear? 
 
 Sir M. [with pretended indifference) Nothing particular, my 
 love, I'm a little warm, that's all — wheugh ! 
 
 Lord F. The fact is, friend Martin is absolutely craving for his 
 luncheon. 
 
 Emily, [to Sir Martin) Are you ? then I am happy to relieve 
 your suffering by announcing the joyful tidings that it is quite 
 ready. 
 
 Lord F. [in an undertone to Emily) Oh, that you would take 
 equal compassion on ;«j sufferings. (Emily turns up stage with 
 Lord Adonis.) 
 
 Lady M. [obsetving them) They must not be alone, [leaving 
 Sir Martin's arm, and about to follow them.) 
 
 Sir M. [stopping her) Where are you going ? 
 
 Lady M. [impatiently) To take a seat and finish my embroidery, 
 that's all. 
 
 Sir M. Then why not take a seat and finish it here ? You'll 
 find it nice and cool in the sun — I mean nice and hot in the shade. 
 [aside) I don't know what I'm talking about, [sits in chair r. 
 Lady Mavduke hastily goes up stage and Joins Emily and Lord 
 Adonis. Sir Martin turns and sees Lady Mayduke, trots up 
 stage after her, and takes her arm again — the four then advance to 
 front.)* 
 
 Lady M. [anxiously to Lord Adonis) You were observing to my 
 sister 
 
 Lord F. A few very commonplace remarks respecting a private 
 theatrical performance about to be given by the Duchess of Twad- 
 dleton. 
 
 Lady M. True ; the play, I believe, is the " Barber of Seville," 
 and you, my lord, are doubtless selected to enact the enamoured 
 lover. Count Almariva. 
 
 * Sir Martin. Lady Mayduke. Lord Adonis. Emily. 
 
 R. R. C. L. C. L. 
 
12 A TCHI. 
 
 Lord F. No, they had the impertinence to cast me for one of the 
 servants — 1 forget his name — the fellow who is always sneezing. 
 {vnitating) Atchi ! 
 
 Sir M. Ecod, if you'll only play the part, I'll give you some of 
 my famous sneezing powder — some of my " siflox nasum pun- 
 gens." One sniff and you'll sneeze for a month. 
 
 Lord F. You're very kind, but it is not probable that I shall 
 make myself so superlatively ridiculous. 
 
 Emily. Ha ! ha ! it certainly would have a very absurd effect. 
 (imitating) Atchi ! Atchi ! I cannot conceive any man in a more 
 absurd situation, [imitating again) Atchi ! ha, ha ! 
 
 Lady M. And yet my lord, there are some ladies I could men- 
 tion, who, I fancy, would enjoy such an exhibition amazingly. I 
 allude to those who have been the objects of your lordship's 
 numerous flirtations, [significantly, and looking at Ku\'L\.) 
 
 Emily, [aside) Flirtations! What's that 1 hear? 
 
 Lady M. And who, each in her turn, have been somewhat 
 unceremoniously supplanted by a more attractive rival. 
 
 Emily, [aside) Can it be possible ! 
 
 Lord F. [annoyed, and looking anxious/y at Y.Miv,\, who appears 
 indignant) 1 assure your ladyship you are quite mistaken. 
 
 Lady M. Not I, indeed ; for instance, you cannot deny your 
 open admiration for the Countess of Rosedale. No, 1 beg your 
 pardon, Mrs. Griffin, the wealthy hop merchant's wife, was the 
 first — then came the countess, who, in her turn, was supplanted by 
 Mad'lle. Zepherine, the celebrated ballet dancer, who, in a few 
 weeks herself made way for the youthful widow of General 
 O' Slasher ; then came the lovely wife of the Spanish Ambassador 
 — no I'm wrong again — she came after the Duchess of Roehamp- 
 ton ; yes, then followed 
 
 Lord F. [quickly) A libel — a vile libel, I assure you [aside) that 
 scoundrel Larkins ain't omitted one. I'll kill him. 
 
 Sir M. [aside) The fellow's a regular Bashaw. 
 
 Lord F. [to Emily) You, at least, Miss Hargrave, will not 
 credit this most abominable calumny, [aside) I'll kill Larkins. 
 
 Emily, [piqued) What can it possibly signify to me, sirl [aside) 
 What a dreadful man. 
 
 Lord F. (/<7LADy M.) Once more, I assure you 
 
 Emily, [with affected indifference) Really sister, had we not bet- 
 ter change the conversation, it may amuse you, but it is really 
 remarkably insipid and uninteresting to others, [poitttedly.) 
 
 Sir M. [aside ) If Lady Mayduke cared one atom about the man, 
 would she roast the man in this unmerciful way ? Of course not, 
 and yet 
 
 Enter SERVANxyh^w house, R. u. E. 
 
 Servant. Luncheon is served. 
 
ATCHL 13 
 
 Lord F. Will Miss Hargrave permit me ( offering ami.) 
 
 Emily, [coldly) I am not hungry, and shall remain nere. [sits L.) 
 
 Lord F. How very singular. I haven't an atom of appetite 
 myself, and will keep you company. [sUs l. c.) 
 
 Lady M. [quickly) This musn't be. Strange to say, I can't 
 touch a morsel ; so we'll all three stop where we are. [sits, R. C.) 
 
 Sir M. [aside) I'm ravenous ; but I won't budge, [aloud) How 
 very odd, my appetite's gone too, vanished all of a sudden, [aside) 
 I could eat one of my own coach horses, harness and all, [aloud) 
 so we'll dWfoiir oi us stop where we are. [sits R.) 
 
 Lord F. [rising) I suddenly remember 1 have a few orders to 
 give to Larkins. Will you excuse me? [going C) 
 
 Sir M. [eagerly) By all means, [aside) He's going. I shall be 
 able to have a snack after all. 
 
 Lord F. I shall soon return. 
 
 Sir M. Don't hurry yourself, my lord. 
 
 Lord F. [bows to Lady M., aside) 1 confess to having met with 
 rather a severe check from my fair enemy, but she shall find I'm 
 not defeated yet — now I'll go and kill Larkins. (exit, L. u. E.) 
 
 Sir M. [rises and crosses to C. , quickly) How very odd. I think 
 my appetite's coming back again. 
 
 Lady M. Why my dear, the luncheon must be cleared away by 
 this time. 
 
 Sir M. The devil it is. [runs off at the top of his speed into house, 
 R. u. E.) 
 
 Emily, {rises, aside) And I was silly enough to be flattered by 
 his attentions — never mind, I'll show a proper spirit — I'll lock 
 myself up in my room, and have a good cry. [runs off after SiK 
 Martin, r. u. e. ) 
 
 Lady M. Victory, victory ! I have now nothing to fear, my Lord 
 Viscount Fickleton, from your attentions to my sister. Ha, ha, 
 poor Emily, how her eyes sparkled with indignation as I detailed 
 the gentleman's numerous flirtations, [seeing Larkins, who enters 
 with a letter, L. u. E. ) Ah, his valet, [to Larkins) Your master is 
 not here. You have a letter I perceive — for my husband, I pre- 
 sume. 
 
 Larkins. No, my lady, it is not often that my hid's letters are in- 
 tended to be seen by 'usband's eyes, [knowingly, then looking 
 about him, and in a mysterious manner) It is for your ladyship s 
 sister. Miss Emily 'Argrave. 
 
 Lady M. [aside) So, so, a last and desperate effort on the part 
 of the enemy, [aloud) I will give Miss Hargrave the letter. 
 
 Re-enter Sir Martin hastily from house, r. v. e. , in the act of 
 eating and swallowing. 
 
 Sir M. [almost choking) Confound it, I've eaten so fast, I've 
 been within an inch of choking myself half a dozen times. ( seeing 
 
14 ATCHL 
 
 Lady M. and Larkins) Heyday, Lady Mayduke with his lord- 
 ship's valet. 
 
 Lady M. ( fo Lakkins ) Well, Mr. Larkins, am I to have his 
 lordship's letter or not ? 
 
 Sir. M. [overhearing) A letter ! 
 
 Larkins. Well my lady, since you insist on it. {presents letter to 
 Lady M., Sir M. snatches it. ) 
 
 Sir. M. Ah, ah! {tearing the letter open.) 
 
 Larkins. The devil! [runs out L. u. E.) 
 
 Lady M. [very qtiick/y) What is the matter, dear ? 
 
 Sir. M. Don't dear me — matter? This letter madam ! (showing 
 letter.) 
 
 Lady M. [reproachfully') Was intended for me. Sir Martin. 
 
 Sir M. You confess it. She confesses it. 
 
 Lady M. Be calm, my dear. 
 
 Sir M. For the second time, don't dear me. Calm ! When you 
 see I'm almost choking with ox tail soup — I mean indignation. 
 
 Emily runs on from house, R. u. E. 
 
 Emily, [alarmed^ What is the matter ? Why, I declare, brother- 
 in-law, you're quite red in tlie face. 
 
 Sir M. You'd be red in the face too, if you'd just made such a 
 lunch — I mean such a discovery — as I have. 
 
 Emily. What do you mean ? 
 
 Sir M. This, [crosses to c, very emphatic ally)\\\2X when we see a 
 thoughtless, imprudent woman, ( significantly looking at Lady M.) 
 standing on the edge of a stupendous precipice — when we know 
 that one step more, and over she goes 
 
 Lady M. (r.) Ah, ah! 
 
 Emily. (l. aside) Can he be alluding to me? ( aloud) Well, what 
 next? 
 
 Sir M. What next ? Why, of course it's our duty to save her 
 because we know that if — I say if — in short if — over she goes, it's 
 all up with her — no, I mean down with her — no ! up with her. 
 
 Lady M. Ha, ha, ha ! Very poetically expressed, indeed. 
 
 Sir M. But perhaps not sufficiently intelligible — in a word then, 
 [with another emphatic look at Lady M.) Lord Fickleton is the 
 stupendous precipice, ( Ym.\\m starts') he has dared to cast glances 
 at a certain thoughtless and imprudent woman, (Emily fl^a/« 
 starts)\\'\\o, fascinated by his brilliant exterior, without looking into 
 his interior — [still pointedly, looking at Lady M.) 
 
 Emily, [quickly) No, no ; you are mistaken. 
 
 Sir M. Of course, it's only natural that you should wish to screen 
 her. 
 
 Emily, [nettled) Screen her! Allow me to observe, Sir Martin 
 Mayduke, that I do not see the slightest necessity for your interfer- 
 ing in the matter at all, there. 
 
ATCHI. 15 
 
 Sir M. The deuce you don't, ha, ha! so then, when I intercept a 
 letter, a love letter from Lord Fickleton to my wife — {flourishing 
 letter.) 
 
 Emily. Oh, impossible. 
 
 Lady M. [anxiously to Sir M.) Surely you're not going to read 
 the letter before Emily ? 
 
 Sir M. I beg your pardon, I am. 
 
 Lady M. Aloud ? 
 
 Sir M. Very much aloud ! [reads) " Oh madam," you see the 
 scoundrel mentions no Vi?cm^, [re acting) " I frankly admit the folly 
 and impropriety of my past conduct, ' his /(?^/ conduct, of course, 
 the villain doesn't see any impropriety in his present conduct. Oh 
 dear, no, [reading a^ain) " deign then, most adorable of women, to 
 restore a sincere penitent to the paths of virtue and innocence." 
 Virtue and innocence — the humbug. 
 
 Emily, [aside, and with evident pleasure ) I'm convinced the 
 letter was intended for me. 
 
 Lady M. [aside, and observing her) The letter has had the effect 
 I dreaded. 
 
 Emily. Are you quite sure that that letter was meant for Mary ? 
 
 Sir M. Well, considering that I intercepted it at the very mo- 
 ment that 
 
 Emily. Well, but 
 
 Sir M. I repeat at the very moment that (SirM. andYM\\.\ 
 
 go up C. , talking in an excited ?nanner. ) 
 
 Lady M. [aside) Well played, Lord Fickleton, a good move, but 
 not necessarily a winning one. 
 
 Emily, (l. coming down with SiR M. ) Yes, my poor dear jealous 
 brother-in-law, /am the object of Lord Fickleton' s admiration, not 
 Mary. 
 
 Lady M. Hold Emily, [crosses to c.) I will not accept your gen- 
 erous sacrifice. In a word, Sir Martin, [with pretended embarass- 
 ment) I confess that Lord Fickleton has expressed himself to me, 
 in terms which — which 
 
 Emily. Mary ! 
 
 Sir M. (r.) Let her go on, let her go on. Well, in terms, 
 which 
 
 Lady M. Convince rne that I am the object of his lordship's 
 most unhappy, most unpardonable attachment! 
 
 Emily. The monster ! 
 
 SirM. [rise, toY.MWM) Thank you. [then to Lady M.) And 
 you can stand there and tell me this, not only with the calmness of 
 a stoic, but with the coolness of a cucumber ! 
 
 Lady M. [smiling) My dear Sir Martin, could I prevent the man 
 from falling in love with me ? 
 
 Emily, [sharply) Of course you could. 
 
 Sir M. Of course you could. 
 
1 6 ATCHI. 
 
 Eiftily. In your place I should have — I repeat, I should have 
 
 Sir M. So should I. {sits.) 
 
 Lady M. [smiling] I did better than that, I reminded his lord- 
 ship that I was the wife of a man I loved and honoured, the dear- 
 est, kindest, and handsomest husband in the world. 
 
 Sir M. You did ? Come to my arms, ( etnbracing'Lxiyi M.) not 
 that I suspected you for a single moment. 
 
 Lady M. {smiling) Of course not. 
 
 Sir M. But now what's to be done with this Don Juan, this per- 
 fidious peer, this vicious viscount, this fiendish Fickleton ? 
 
 Lady M. In the first place I presume we all look upon him as a 
 common enemy. 
 
 Emily, {spitefully) I hate him. 
 
 Sir M. I could kill him, and eat him too, if I hadn't just had my 
 lunch. 
 
 Lady M. Then his lordship must have a hint to go — one that 
 he cannot misunderstand. 
 
 Sir M. Exactly. I'll give him a hint that there can be no mistake 
 about. I'll kick him out. 
 
 Lady M. No, no. Suppose I take the matter in hand. 
 
 Sir M. You kick him out ? My love you couldn't do it. 
 
 Lady M. I mean give his lordship to understand that the inmates 
 of Mayduke Hall no longer wish to monopolize his society. 
 
 Sir M. Yes, of course ; I have it, suppose we entrust the affair 
 to Emily. 
 
 Lady M. {aside) No, no, that musn't be. {aloud) She wouldn't 
 know what to say. 
 
 Emily. I beg your pardon, I should look so at the man, {looking 
 fiercely) and say to the man, begone ! 
 
 Sir M.{to Lady M.) You hear — she'd look so at the man — and 
 say to the man " begone." 
 
 Lady M. {looking off, L.) Hush, the enemy's in sight. 
 
 Sir M. Is he? Then I'll beat a retreat, {going towards house.) 
 
 Lady M. Afraid? 
 
 Sir M. Of him ? Not a bit, but I dread the frightful ferocity of 
 my temper, so I'll leave him to you — annihilate him — demolish 
 him — pulverize him — and in the meantime I'll — {aside) — I'll go 
 and have a bit more lunch. (Exit into house.) 
 
 Enter Lord Fickelton, l. u. -e.. , followed by Larkins. — The 
 Ladies retire to l. 2 e. 
 
 Lord F. {down R. c.) Clumsy rascal, to allow that letter to fall 
 into Lady Mayduke' s hands. 
 
 Larkins. My lud, I thought 
 
 Lord F. You'd no business to think, idiot! Begone, dolt ! 
 Larkins. {aside) His ludship is hangry. I'd better be hoff. 
 
 (Exit L. U. E.) 
 
A TCHL I 7 
 
 The Ladies advance, Emily c, Lady M., l. c. 
 
 Lord F. [aside, and observing Lady M. and Emily ) The case 
 is clear, that intercepted despatch of mine has damaged me ; but 
 pshaw, courage mon ami. [advances) Lady Mayduke, your most 
 obedient. Miss Hargrave 
 
 Emily, {/urning her back sharply on him) I could box his ears. 
 
 Lord F. [to Lady M.) May I inquire if anything has occurred 
 to ruffle the usually placid temper of your ladyship's sister? 
 
 Emily, [turning sharply) My temper ruffled ! You're quite mis- 
 taken my lord, I happen to be in a particularly good temper. Ha, ha, 
 ha! [forcing a laugh, and aside to Lady M.) Why don't you 
 laugh ? [aloud) The fact is, my lord, as you entered, we were 
 laughing heartily, I may say immoderately, ha, ha, ha! [aside to 
 Lady M.) Laugh, [aloud), a.t a singularly amusing anecdote I 
 was relating to my sister. Ha, ha, ha., [aside to Lady M.) you don't 
 half laugh — [aloud) — the story runs thus, that a certain gentle- 
 man 
 
 Lady M. [interrupting) A nobleman. 
 
 EmUy. True, a nobleman, not a gentleman, laid siege at the 
 same time, to the affections of two sisters. 
 
 Lady M. Two sisters, and at one shot — a perfect cormorant in 
 love. Eh, my lord ! Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Emily. A sort of double-barrelled Lothario — eh, my lord ? Ha, ha, 
 ha! 
 
 Lord F. Yes, yes. 
 
 Emily, Well, he had almost succeeded in persuading each of the 
 sisters that she was the idol of his worship, when an accident 
 
 Lady M. An intercepted letter, I think, [pointedly.) 
 
 Emily. Yes, accidentally delivered to the wrong sister, opened the 
 eyes of both the ladies, to the real state of the case, who, uniting 
 their forces against the common enemy 
 
 Lady M. They so overwhelmed the poor lord with confusion 
 
 Emily. So thoroughly humiliated him with ridicule — 
 
 Lady M. That, though he came in like a lion — ha, ha ! 
 
 Emily. He was only too glad to go out hke a lamb — ha, 
 ha ! An amusing story, is it not, my lord? 
 
 Lord F. [quietly) Very, and strange to say, it reminds me of a 
 story somewhat similar, the hero of which is a nobleman also, and 
 a gentleman. Shall I proceed? 
 
 Emily, [zaith indifference) As you please. 
 
 Lady M. [aside) Some new plan of attack, 1 fear. 
 
 Lord F. Well, 7ny nobleman, like yours, was thrown by chance, 
 into the society of two sisters ; but unlike yours, he did not divide 
 his affections, but fixed them exclusively on the younger of the 
 two, [looking at Emily) but unluckily he had the misfortune to 
 captivate the elder, [with a smile and meaning look at Lady M.) 
 
 Emily, [suddenly) Ah ! 
 
1 8 ATCHI. 
 
 Lady M. [confused ) Pshaw ! 
 
 Lord F. 'Tis a melancholy fact, I assure you ; the poor man 
 found himself adored by one, who mistook mere civility for admi- 
 ration, and common courtesy for affection. (Lady M. turns aside 
 with vexation.) 
 
 Emily, {^aside, and wit It an anxious look at Lady M.) What a 
 strange comcidence ; but, no, no, it cannot be, it would be too 
 dreadful, and yet 
 
 Lord F. Well — what he dreaded, came to pass. A letter in- 
 tended for the object of his devotion was intercepted by her 
 rival 
 
 Emily, [hurriedly, aside) Yes, it was so ! ( turning an angry 
 look at Lady M.) 
 
 Lord F. Who, determined on wrecking the happiness of the 
 man she had been unable to entrap, did not hesitate to appropriate 
 to herself 
 
 Lady M. { suddefily) Enough, enough — I am surprised, Emily, 
 that you can listen to so childish, so absurd a romance without 
 laughing. Ha, ha, ha ! [forcing a laugh.) 
 
 Emily, [with severity) What if it be true, Mary? 
 
 Lord F. It is true, and tragic was it's termination! (z« a tragedy 
 tone) For this unhappy nobleman, this interesting and much-to-be- 
 commiserated victim of a calumny which robbed him of his only 
 hope of happiness — [zuith a tender look at Emily.) 
 
 Emily, [anxiously) Well 
 
 Lord F. [drawing out his handkerchief) Destroyed himself! 
 [burying his face in his hatidkerchief, arid then peeping aside at 
 Emily, zc^/zt? also draws her handkerchief and wipes her eyes) Thank 
 you, I see you feel for him. [in a very pathetic tone.) 
 
 Emily. Of course I do, pity for him — anger, indignation towards 
 the cruel, deceitful, wicked sister, who — who — oh, oh. ( rims sob- 
 bing into house, R. u. E. ) 
 
 Lord F. ( after a short pause, and in a conceited tone to Lady 
 M.) Does my fair antagonist confess herself vanquished? 
 
 Lady M. [aside) I have still one weapon left, and only one — 
 ridicule! but how? Ah, yes, yes. [aloud) In a few moments, my 
 lord, you will hear from me, if hostilities are to continue or to 
 cease ; if the latter, you will I am sure, show yourself a generous 
 conqueror, [courtseys and exits into house, R. u. E.) 
 
 Lord F. I will ! By proving to you Lady May duke that, though 
 frivolous and vain, I am neither profligate nor heartless, and that, 
 if your sister will accept my hand — ah, she returns. 
 
 Re-Enter EM1L.Y from house, R. U. E. 
 
 You have taken pity on me ? 
 
 Emily, (r. c.) I am merely an ambassador from my sister, who 
 charged me with this mysterious message— 
 
ATCHl. 19 
 
 Sir Martin Enters y"w;« house unobserved and listens, his face is 
 much flushed and his wig awry. 
 
 Tell Lord Fickleton that I send him this, [producing S7uiff box) as 
 an acknowledg^ement of his victory and my ^^{^2x\pi;fsenting box 
 to Lord F.) 
 
 Lord F. The snuff box, I remember, the forfeit agreed upon. 
 
 Sir M. [suddenly coming down between them) Indeed! bravo 
 my lord ! Bravo my lady ! Bravo everybody, but I'll have satis- 
 faction, [aside) That old ale of mine is uncommonly strong. 
 
 Lord F. My dear Sir Martin 
 
 Sir M. Pooh, pooh, [aside) That ale has certainly got up into my 
 wig, I mean my head, [aloud to LordF.) Do you know what a 
 humbug is? A man who says he's fond of botany and doesn't 
 know a red cabbage from a daffodowndilly, he' s a humbug ! A 
 man, who calls another man his dear friend, and makes love to 
 that other man's wife, he's a humbug. Consequently my lord, 
 you're two humbugs. That snuff box which my wife has justmade 
 you a present of 
 
 Lord F. Well, after all, what is there in a snuff box ? [playing 
 with it, opening and shutting the lid.) 
 
 Sir M. What is there — [taking a large pinch of snuff out of box) 
 — no matter, as I said before, I'll have satisfaction, so name your 
 weapons, swords, pistols, pitchforks, I don't care ; I'll be back 
 directly — you hear? [sniffing the pinch of snuff violently up his nose, 
 aside) but I'll have a drop more of tijat old ale first, [runs into 
 house, R. u. E.) 
 
 Emily, [about to follow him) My dear brother. 
 
 Lord F. [stopping her) One moment ! that letter, as you must 
 feel assured, was intended for you — can you doubt the sincerity of 
 sentiments- — - 
 
 Emily. Which you have already professed for so many others? 
 
 Lord F. Nay, [aside) isn't this strange, whenever I have pro- 
 fessed an affection which I did not feel, I have invariably been 
 believed ; but now that I really and truly love — {mechanically tak- 
 ing a pinch of snuff, then suddenly advancing to Emily) — Miss 
 Hargrave — Emily, hear me, [kneeling) whileon my knees I swear. 
 Atchi ! [sneezing.) 
 
 Emily. Oh, rise my lord. 
 
 Lord F. Not till you pronounce my — atchi — I repeat lovely 
 Emily, not till you pro — nounce — my — atchi — my doom — atchi ! 
 [each sneeze more violent than its predecessor.) 
 
 Emily. If I was certain of your sincerity. 
 
 LordF. Can you doubt it : behold me here — atchi — a suppliant 
 at your — atchi — at your feet — atchi. [aside) That confounded snuff. 
 
 Emily, [suppressing her laughter) What a bad cold you seem to 
 have got. 
 
20 A TCHI. 
 
 Lord F. Yes ; but what is a cold in the — atchi — in the head, 
 compared to the — atchi — to the fire in my heart — atchi — [aside] — 
 I shall sneeze my head off presently. 
 
 Emily, [bursting into an tmcontroUable fit of laughter) Ha, ha, 
 ha, ha! In;an't help it, ha, ha, it's so absurd — ha, ha — so exces- 
 sively ridiculous, ha, ha — don't attempt to make love till your 
 sneezing fit is over. 
 
 Lord F. [aside) I think I've done now ; yes, it's all over ! (^^/OT/^) 
 Once more lovely and — atchi — I repeat — atchi ! [^kere another ve^y 
 loud " Atchi" is heard outside, and SiR Martin co?nes on from 
 house, with a large pistol in each hand and a cavalry sword under 
 each arm. Lady M. following.) 
 
 Sir M. [confrontirig Lord F. and looking fiercely at him) Now my 
 lord ! Atchi ! 
 
 Lord F. My good Sir Martin, if you'll only — atchi ! 
 
 Sir M. Pooh, here are swords — atchi — and pistols ; take your — 
 atchi — your choice — atchi! [dtiring this Lady M. appears to be 
 explaining tnatters to Emily, and they both join in hearty laughter 
 at Sir M'. and Lord Fickleton.) 
 
 Emily. Ha, ha! Why, sister, what can be the matter with both 
 of the poor gentlemen 'I Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Sir M. That's what I want — atchi — to know — atchi ! 
 
 Lord F. So — so — do I — atchi ! 
 
 Sir M. (r.) It's so infernally absurd to — atchi ! 
 
 Lord F. To go on sneezing like this — atchi ! [crosses into L corner.) 
 
 Lady M. Ha, ha! You've only taken a pinch of your own 
 sneezing powder, my dear, [to Sir Martin.) 
 
 Sir M. Eh ! my siflox nasum — atchi — pungens— atchi ! 
 
 Lady M. (R. c.) Yes, placed by me in his lordship's snuffbox 
 in order that he might perfect himself in the part originally 
 intended for him in the Barber of Seville — that of [imitating Lord 
 Fickleton's manner) one of the servants^I forget his name — the 
 fellow who is always sneezing — atchi ! ha, ha ! 
 
 Lord F. [to Lady Mayduke) It is now ^^r/r turn to show your- 
 self a generous conquerer. I love — yes, truly, sincerely, love your 
 sister. 
 
 Sir M. [suddenly) Then it is Emily after all. [dropping the 
 swords and pistols) My lord, I do believe you're a good hearted 
 fellow after all, though you don't understand botany. 
 
 Lord F. I beg your pardon — see this nosegay, [taking small 
 nosegay out of his coat) Here is a white rose— the emblem of love, 
 a liiy of the valley, the emblem of sincerity — your forgiveness, [to 
 Lady Mavduke) and your sister's hand will add to the heart's 
 ease, [during the above he has managed to sprinkle some snuff out 
 of the box on the nosegay, which he presents to Ladv Mayduke. ) 
 
 Lady M. [smelling nosegay) Very sweet indeed, [passing it to 
 Emily.) 
 
A TCHl. 
 
 21 
 
 Emily, (^smelling it) Very. 
 
 Sir M. {smelling it, as Lady Mayduke holds it to kim) Very. 
 
 Lord F. [to Lady Mayduke) Your answer to my suit ? 
 
 Lady M. Well — [Joitiiiig their hands — going between them) 
 Atchi ! 
 
 Emily, {turning away her head, and holding out her hand to 
 Lord FiCKLETON)Atchi! 
 
 Sir M. {goes between LOKD FiCKLETON and Emily, about to bless 
 them) Atchi I 
 
 Omnes. {after a short pause, then at the same time and very loud) 
 Atchi ! 
 
 Lord F. Lady M. Sir M. Emily. 
 
 R. R. c. L. c. L. 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
UNCLE TOM'S CABIN (NEW VERSION.) 
 
 A MELODRAMA IN FIVE ACTS, BY CIIAS. TOWN SEND. 
 PRICE, 15 CENTS. 
 
 Seven male, five female characters (some of the characters play two parts). 
 Time of playing, 2j^ hours. This is a new acting edition of a prime old favorite, 
 so >,im(>''fieU in the st.ige-settnig as to be easily represented by dram.itic clubs and 
 travelling companies with limited scenery. Uncle Tom's Cabin is a play thai never 
 grows old ; being pure and faultless, it commands the praise of the pulpit and sup- 
 port of the press, while it enlists the favor of all Christians and heads of families. It 
 will draw hundreds where other plays draw dozens, and therefore is sure to fill any hal . 
 
 Synopsis of Incidents: ActI.— .bVt'«f /.— The Shelby plantation in Kentucky.— 
 George and Eliza. — The curse of Slavery. — The resolve. — Off for Canada. — " I won't 
 be taken — I'll die first." — Shelby and Haley. — Uncle Tom and Harry must be sold. — 
 ■The poor mother.—" Sell my boy ! " — The faithful slave. Scene II. — Gumption 
 Cute. — " By Gum !" — Marks, the lawyer. — A mad Yankee.— George in disguise. — A 
 friend in need. — The human bloodhounds. — The escape. — " Hooray fer old Var- 
 mount ! " 
 
 Act II.— St. Clare's elegant home. — The fretful wife. — The arrival. — Little Eva. — 
 Aunt Ophelia and Topsy. — " O, Golly! I'se so wicked!" — St. Clare's opinion. — 
 " Benighted innocence." — The stolen gloves. — Topsy in her glory. 
 
 Act III.— The angel child. — Tom and St. Clare. — Topsy's mischief. — Eva's re- 
 quest. — The promise. — pathetic scene. — Death of Eva. — St. Clare's grief. — " For thou 
 art gone forever." 
 
 Act IV. — The lonely house. — Tom and St. Clare. — Topsy's keepsake. — Deacon 
 Perry and Aunt Ophelia. — Cute on deck. — A distant relative. — The hungry visitor. — 
 Chuck full of emptiness." — Cute and the Deacon. — A row. — A fight. — Topsy to the 
 rescue.— St. Clare wounded. — Death of St. Clare.— " Eva— Eva — I am coming " 
 
 Act V. — Legree's plantation on the Red River. — Home again. — -Uncle Tom's 
 noble heart. — " My soul ain't yours, Mas'r." — Degree" s cruel work. — Legree and Cassy. 
 — The whiteslave. — A frightened brute. — Legree's fear. — A life of sin.^ — Marks and 
 Cute. — Anew scheme. — The dreadful whipping of Uncle Tom.^Legree punished at 
 last. — Death of Uncle Tom. — Eva in Heaven. 
 
 THE WOVEN WEB. 
 
 A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS, BY CHAS. TOWNSEND. 
 PRICE, 15 CENTS. 
 
 Seven male, three female characters, viz. : leading and second juvenile men, so- 
 ciety villain, walking gentleman, eccentric comedian, old man, low comedian, leading 
 juvenile lady, soubrette and old woman. Time of playing, 2j^ hours. The Woven Weu 
 is a flawless drama, pure in thought and action, with excellent characiers, and pre- 
 senting no difficulties in costumes or scenery. The story is captivating, with a plot 
 of the most intense and unflagging interest, rising to a natural climax of wonderful 
 power. The wit is bright and sparkling, the action terse, sharp and rapid. In touch- 
 ing the great chord of human sympathy, the author has expended that rare skill 
 which has given life to every great play known to the stage. This play has been 
 produced under the author's management with marked success, and will prove 
 an unquestionable attraction wherever presented. 
 
 Synopsis of Incidents: Act I. — Parkhurst & Manning's law office. New York. 
 — Tim's opinion. — The young lawyer.— " Majah Billy Toby, sah ! " — Love and law. 
 — Bright prospects. — Bertha's misfortune. — A false friend. — The will destroyed. — A 
 cunning plot. — Weaving the web. — The unseen witness. — The letter. — Accused. — 
 DishonDred. 
 
 Act 11. — Winter quarters. — Colonel Hastings and Sergeant Tim. — Moses. — A 
 message. — Tim on his dignity. — The arrival. — PLaying soldier. — The secret. — The 
 promise. — Harry in danger. — Love and duty. — The promise kept. — " Saved, at the 
 loss of my own honor ! " 
 
 Act III. — Drawing-room at Falconer's. — Reading the news. — " Apply to Judy ! " 
 — Louise's romance. — Important news. — Bertha's fears. — Leamington's arrival. — 
 Drawing the web. — Threatened. — Plotting. — Harry and Bertha.— A fiendish lie. — hacc 
 to face. — " Do you know him ? " — Denounced. — " Your life shall be the penalty ! " — 
 Startling tableao. 
 
 Act IV. — At Uncle Toby's. — A wonderful climate. — An impudent rascal. — A bit 
 of history.— Woman's wit. — Toby Indignant. — A quarrel. — Uncle Toby's evidence. — 
 Leamington's last trump. — Good news. — Checkmated. — The telegram. — Breaking 
 the web. — Sunshine at last. 
 
 fcB*" Copies mailed, postpaid, to any address, on receipt of the annexed prices, ^fj 
 
SAVED FROM THE WRECK. 
 
 A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, BY THOMAS K. SERRANO. 
 PRICE, 15 CENTS. 
 
 Eight 'male, three female characters : Leading comedy, juvenile man, genteel 
 villain, rough villain, light comedy, escaped convict, detective, utility, juvenile 
 lady, leading comedy lady and old woman. Two interior and one landscape scenes. 
 Modern costumes. Time of playing, two hours and a half. The scene of the action 
 is laid on the New Jersey coast. The plot is of absorbing interest, the "business" 
 effective, and the ingenious contrasts of comic and serious situations present a con- 
 tinuous series of surprises for the spectators, whose interest is increasingly maintained 
 up to the final tableau. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 
 
 Act I. The Home of the Light-housk Keeper. — An autumn afternoon. — 
 The insult. — True to herself. — A fearless heart. —The unwelcome guest. — Only a 
 foundling. — An abuse of confidence. — The new partner. — The compact. — The dead 
 brought to life. — Saved from the wreck. — Legal advice. — Married for money.— A 
 golden chance. — The intercepted letter. — A vision of wealth. — The forgery. — Within 
 an inch of his life.— The rescue. — Tableau. 
 
 Act II. Scene as before; time, night. — Dark clouds gathering. — Changing 
 the jackets. — Father and son. — On duty. — A struggle for fortune. — Loved for himself. 
 — The divided greenbacks. — The agreement.— An unhappy life. — The detective's mis- 
 take. — Arrested. — Mistaken identity. — The likeness again. — On the right track — The 
 accident. — "Will she be saved ? " — Latour's bravery. — A noble sacrifice. — The secret 
 meeting. — Another case of mistaken identity. — The murder. — " Who did it ? " — The 
 torn cuff. — " There stands the murderer!" — " 'Tis false!" — The wrong man mur- 
 dered. — Who was the victim? — Tableau. 
 
 Act III. Two Days Later. — Plot and counterplot. — Gentleman and convict. — 
 The price of her life.— Some new documents. — The divided banknotes. — Sunshine 
 through the clouds. — Prepared for a watery grave — Deadly peril. — Fatherand daugh- 
 ter. — The rising tide. — A life for a signature. — True unto death. — Saved. — The mys- 
 tery solved.— Denouement. — Tableau. 
 
 BETWEEN TWO FIRES. 
 
 A COMEDY-DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, BY THOMAS K. SERRANO. 
 
 PRICE, 15 CENTS. 
 
 Eight male, three female, and utility characters : Leading juvenile man, first and 
 second walking gentleman, two light comedians (lawyer and foreign adventurer), 
 Dutch and Irish character comedians, villain, soldiers ; leading juvenile lady, walk- 
 ing lady and comedienne. Three interior scenes ; modern and military costumes. 
 Time of playing, two hours and a half. Apart from unusual interest of plot and skill 
 of construction, the play affords an opportunity of representing the progress of a 
 real battle in the distance (though this is not necessary to the action). The comedy 
 business is delicious, if well worked up, and a startling phase of the slavery question 
 is sprung upon the audience in the last act. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 
 
 Act I. At Fort Lee, on the Hudson. — News from the war. — The meeting. 
 — The colonel's strange romance. — Departing for the war. — The intrusted packet. — An 
 honest man. — A last request. — Bitter hatred. — The dawn of love. — A northerner's 
 sympathy for the South. — Is he a traitor ? — Held in trust. — La Creole mine for sale. — 
 Financial agents. — A brother's wrong. — An order to cross the enemy's lines. — For- 
 tune's fool. — Love's penalty. — Man's independence. — Strange disclosures.— A sha- 
 dowed life. — Beggared in pocket, and bankrupt in love. — His last chance. — The re- 
 fusal. — Turned from home. — Alone, without a name — Off to the war. — Tableau. 
 
 Act II. On the Battlefield. — An Irishman's philosophy. — Unconscious of 
 danger. — Spies in the camp. — The insult. — Risen from tlie ranks. — The colonel's prej- 
 udice. — Letters from home. — The plot to ruin. — A token of love. — True to him. — 
 The plotters at work. — Breaking the seals. — The meeting of husband and wife. — A 
 forlorn hope. — Doomed as a spy. — A struggle for lost honor. — A soldier's death. — 
 Tableau. 
 
 Act III. Before Richmond. — The home of Mrs. De Mori. — The two docu- 
 ments. — A little misunderstanding. — A deserted wife. — The truth revealed. — Brought 
 to light. — Mother and child. — Rowena's sacrifice. — The American Eagle spreads his 
 wings. — The spider's web. — True to himself. — The reconciliation. — A long divided 
 home reunited. — The close of the war. — Tableau. 
 
 X^~ Copies mailed^ postpaid ^ to any address^i on receipt 0/ the annejced prices, ig^ 
 
BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. 
 
 A. DRA.IVIA IN KiVE Acts, by H. V. Voot. 
 
 Price, 15 Cents. 
 
 Nine male, three female characters, viz.: Leading and Second Juvenile Men, 
 %f\A Man, Genteel Villain, Walking Gentleman, First and Second Light Comedians, 
 Heavy Character, Low Comedian, Leading and Second Juvenile Ladies and Comic 
 Old Maid. Time of playing. Two hours and a half. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OP EVENTS. 
 
 Act L Love vs. Impulse. — DoUer- 
 Clutch's office. — A fruitless journey, a 
 heap of accumulated business and a 
 chapter of unparalleled impudence.^ 
 News from the front. — A poor girl's 
 ♦rouble and a lawyer's big heart.— Hil- 
 da's sad story. — "I'll see this thing 
 through if it costs me a fortune'" — A 
 sudden departure in search of a clue — 
 The meeting of friends. — One of nature's 
 noblemen. — Maitland betrays his secret 
 by a slip of the tongue. — The ball at 
 Beachwood. — Two spooneys.fresh from 
 colleg:e,lose their heads and their hearts. 
 —"Squashed, by Jupiter! ' — Trusting 
 innocence and polished villainy. — The 
 interrupted tryst. — An honest man's 
 avowal. — A picture of charming simpli- 
 city. — Murdell and Hilda meet face to 
 <iace. — " I dare you to make another 
 rictim !" — A ecoundrel's discomfiture. — 
 Tableau. 
 
 Act II. The Separation. — The Mait- 
 land homestead. — Anastasia's doubts. — 
 A warm welcome and its icy reception. 
 r-Forebodings and doubts. — Father and 
 eon. — Searching questions.— A domestic 
 storm and a parent's command. — A 
 foiled villain's wrath. — Enlisting for the 
 war. — The collapse of the cowards. — 
 *' It 's no u-se, 'Dolphy, the jig 's up !" — 
 Hilda's sympathy and Adnenne's silent 
 despair. — The result of impulse. — The 
 father pleads for his son. — Anastasia 
 and Doderclutch. — Coriolanus comes to 
 grief. — Good and bad news. — Husband 
 and wife. — Reginald demands an ex- 
 planation. — A hand without a heart. — 
 The separation. — A new recruit. — Too 
 late; the roll is signed. — Tableau. 
 
 Act III. Duty vs. Impulse. — Four 
 years later. — A camp in the army. — 
 Longings. — ."Only six miles from 
 home !'' — The skeleton in the closet. — 
 A father's yearning for his child. — A 
 woman-hater in love. — Dollerclutch's 
 dream. — A picture of camp life and fun. 
 — Coriolanus has his revenge. — News 
 from home. — Bollerclutch makes a big 
 find. " Eureka 1 " — Proofs of Hilda's 
 parentage and marriage. — A happy old 
 
 lawyer. — "I '11 take them to Hilda!" — 
 Detailed for duty. — A soldier's tempta- 
 tion. — The sentinel deserts his post. — 
 The snake in the grass. — "At last, I can 
 humble his pride 1 " 
 
 Act IV. The Reconciliation and 
 Sequel. — At Reginald's home. — News 
 from the army. — " Grant is not the man 
 to acknowledge defeat !" — Adrienne and 
 Hilda. — False pride is broken. — The re- 
 conciliation. — " Will Reginald forgive 
 me?" — Dollerclutch brings joy to Hil- 
 da's heart. — "You are the daughter of 
 Morris Maitland !"— The stolen docu- 
 ments and the snake in the grass. — 
 "Hang me if I don't see this thing 
 through !" — A letter to the absent one. — 
 Face to face. — The barrier of prids 
 swept down. — "Reginald, I love you; 
 come back!" — ^Tlie happy reunion.— An 
 ominous cloud. — "I have deserted my 
 post ; the penalty is death. I must re- 
 turn ere my absence is discovered !" — 
 The wolf in the sheeptold. — A wily 
 tempter foiled. — A villain's rage. — 
 "Those words have sealed your doom 1" 
 — The murder and the escape. — 
 Dollerclutch arrives too late. — The pur- 
 suit. 
 
 Act V. Divine Impulse. — In camp.— 
 Maitland on duty. — The charge of de- 
 sertion and the examination. — "I knew 
 not what I did !" — The colonel's lenity.-— 
 Disgrace. — News of Adrienne's murder 
 is Drought to camp. — Circumstantial 
 evidence fastens the murder iipon Reg- 
 inald. — The court-mardal. — Convicted 
 and sentenced to be shot. — Preparations 
 for the execution. — • God knows I am 
 innocent! " — Dollerclutch arrives in the 
 nick of time. — "If you shoot that man 
 you commit murder!" — The beginning 
 of the end. — "Adrienne lives!" — A vil- 
 lain's terror. — Adrienne appears on the 
 scene. — " There is the attempted assas- 
 sin !" — Divine impulse. — The reward of 
 innocence and the punishment of vil- 
 lainy. — Good news. — " Hurrah, the wai' 
 is over; Lee has surrendered to Grant! ' 
 — The happy denouement and Jlna/e.- • 
 Tableau. 
 
 Copies mailed, post-paid, to any address on receipt 0/ the advertised price. 
 
 tiAROLD ROORBACH, Publislner, 
 
 «» MrrRRAY ST., I«ie^!V YORK. 
 
NEW ENTERTAINMENTS. 
 
 THE JAPANESE WEDDING. 
 
 A costume p:xntominie represeiitalion of the Wedding Lei'emoiiy in lapinese higli life. 
 The coinv)any consists of the bride and groom, their parents, six bridesmaids, and 
 llie officiating personage appropriately calleil the " ( lo-betvveen." There arc 
 various lormalities, including salaams, tea-drinking, eating rice-cakes, and giving 
 presents. No words are spoken. The ceremony (which occupies about 50 
 minutes), with the "lea-room," fills out an evening well, though music and other 
 attr.icticms may be added. Can be represented by young Kidie.^ alone, if preferred. 
 Price, 25 Cents. 
 
 AN EVENING WITH PICKWICK. 
 
 A Literary and Dramatic Dickens Entertainment. — Introduces the Pickwick Club, 
 the Wardles of Dingley Dell, the Fat Boy, Alfred Jingle, Mrs. Leo Hunter, Lord 
 Mutanhed and Count Smorltork, Arabe'Ia Allen and IJob Allen, Bob Sawver, Mrs. 
 and M.aster Bardell, Mrs. Cluppins. Mrs. Weller, Stiggins, 'J'ony Wefler, Sam 
 Wellerjand the Ladv Traveller. Price, 25 cents. 
 
 AN EVENING WITH COPPERFIELD. 
 
 A Literary and Dramatic Dickens Entertainment. — Litioduces Mrs. Copperfield, 
 Davie, the Pcggotys, the Murdstones, Mrs. (juinmidge. Little Em'ly, Barkis, 
 Betsey Trotwood, Mr. Dick and his kite, Steerforth, the Creakles, Traddles, 
 Rosa Dartle, Miss Mowcher, Uriah Heep and his Mother, the Micawbers, Dora 
 and Gyp, and the wooden-legged Gatekeeper. Price, 25 cents. 
 These " Evenings with Dickens " can be represented in whole or in part, require 
 but little memorizing, do not demand experienced actors, are not troublesome to pre- 
 pare, and are suitable for performance either on the platform or in the drawing room. 
 
 THE GYPSIES' FESTIVAL. 
 
 A Musical Entertainment for Young People. Introduces the Gypsy Queen, Fortune 
 Teller, Yankee Peddler, and a Chorus of Gypsies, of any desired number. The 
 scene is supposed to be a Gypsy Camp. The costumes are very pretty, but 
 simple ; the dialogue bright ; the music easy and tuneful ; and, the drill movements 
 and calisthenics are graceful. Few properties and no set scenery required, so 
 that the entertainment can be represented on any platform. Price, 25 cents. 
 
 THE COURT OF KING CHRISTMAS. 
 
 A CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENT. The action takes place in Santa Claus 
 land on Christinas eve, and represents the bustling preparations of St. Nick and 
 his attendant worthies for the gratification of all children the next day. The cast 
 may include as many as 36 characters, though fewer will answer, and the enter- 
 tainment represented on a platform, without troublesome properties. The cos- 
 tumes are simple, the incidental music and drill movements graceful and easily 
 managed, the dialogue uncommonly good, and the whole thing quite above the 
 average. A representation of this entertainment will cause the young folks, from 
 six to sixty, fairly to turn themselves inside out with delight, and, at the same 
 time, enforce the important moral of I'eace and Good Will. Price, 25 cents. 
 RECENTLY PUBLISHED. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED TABLEAUX FOR AMATEURS. A new series of Tableaux 
 /'/7'<T«/j-, by Martha C. Weli). In this series each description is accompanied 
 with a full-page illustration of the scene to be represented. 
 TART I.— MISCELLANEOUS TABLEAUX.— Contains General Introduction, 
 
 12 Tableaux and 14 Illustrations. Price, 25 Cents. 
 PART II.— MISCELLANEOUS TABLE AU.X.-Cont.^ins Introduction, 12 Ta- 
 bleaux and 12 illustrations. Price, 25 Cents. 
 
 SAVED FROM THE WRECK. A drama in three acts. Eight male, three 
 female characters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. 
 
 BETWEEN TWO FIRES. A comedy-dr.inia in three acts. Eight male, three 
 female characters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. 
 
 BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. A drama in f^ve acts. Nine male, three female 
 characters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. 
 
 A LESSON IN ELEGANCE. A comedy i.i one act. Four female characters. 
 Time, thirty minutes. Price, 15 Cents. 
 
 WANTED, A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. A farce in one act. Six male 
 characters. Time, thirty minutes. Price, 15 Cents. 
 
 SECOND SIGHT. A farcical comedy in one act. Four male, one female charac- 
 ter. Time, one hour. Price, 15 Cents. 
 
 THE TRIPLE WEDDING. A drama in three acts. Four male, four female 
 characters. Time, one hour and a quarter. Price, 15 cents. 
 ^^'Any 0/ the above will be sent by mail., postpaid, to any address., on 7-eceipl 
 
 tr/ihe annexed prices. ,^^i 
 
 HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St., New York. 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 HELMEi 
 
 ACTOR'S MAKE- 
 
 A rracthal and Sysittnatic Guide to the A 014 528 455 7 ^ 
 
 PRICE, 25 CENTS. 
 
 With exhaustive treatment on the Use of Theatrical 
 Wigs and Beards, The Make-up and its requisite materials, the 
 different features and their management, typical character 
 Masks, etc. With Special Hints to Ladies. Designed for the 
 USE OF Actors and Amateurs, and for both Ladies and Gentle- 
 men, Copiously Illustrated. 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 \. Theatrical Wigs. — The Style and Form of Theatrical Wigs 
 and Beards. The Color and Shading of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. 
 Directions for Measuring the Head. To put on a Wig properly. 
 
 n. Theatrical Beards. — How to fashion a Beard out of crep6 
 hair. How to make Beards of Wool. The growth of Beard simu- 
 lated. 
 
 \\\. The Make-up — A successful Character Mask, and how to 
 make it. Perspiration during performance, how removed. 
 
 IV. The Make-up Box.^ — Grease Paints. Grease painti, in 
 sticks; Flesh Cream; Face Powder; How to use face powder as a 
 liquid cream ; The various shades of face powder. Water Cos- 
 sn6lique. Nose Putty. Court Plaster. Cocoa Butter. CrSp6 Hair 
 a»»d Prepared Wool. Grenadine. Dorin's Rouge. "Old Man's" 
 Rouge. "Juvenile" Rouge. Spirit Gum. Email Noir. Bear's 
 Grease. Eyebrow Pencils. Artist's Stomps. Powder Puffs. Hares' 
 Feet. Camels'-hair Brushes. 
 
 V. The Features and their Treatment. — The Eyes : blind- 
 ness. The Eyelids. The Eyebrows : How to paint out an eyebrow or 
 moustache ; llow to paste on eyebrows ; How to regulate bushy eye- 
 brows. The Eyelashes : To alter the appearance of the eyes. The 
 Ears. The Nose : A Roman nose ; How to use the nose putty ; A 
 pug nose ; An African nose; a large nose apparently reduced in size. 
 The Mouth and Lips : a juvenile mouth ; an old mouth ; a sensuous 
 mouth; a satirical mouth; a one-sided mouth; a merry mouth ; A 
 sullen mouth. The Teeth. The Neck, Arms, Hands and Finger- 
 nails : Fingernails lengthened. Wrinkles: Friendliness and SuUen- 
 .ness indicated by wrinkles. Shading. A Starving character. A 
 Cut in the Face. A Thin Face Made Fleshy. 
 
 VI. Typical Character Masks. — The Make-up for Youth : 
 Dimpled cheeks. Manhood. Middle Age. Making up as a Drunk- 
 ard : One method ; another method. Old Age. Negroes. Moors. 
 Chinese. King Lear, Shylock. Macbeth. Richelieu. Statuary. 
 Clowns. 
 
 VII. Special Hints to Ladies. — The Make-up. Theatrical 
 Wigs and Hair Goods. 
 
 Sent by inaiJ, postpaid, to any address, on receipt of the price. 
 
 HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 
 9 Murray Street, New York. 
 
A 
 
 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 II III I mil mil mill n illiiiililm lliilli 
 014 528 455 7 # 
 
 Hollinger Corp.