PS 3525 .E28S4 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 000027^5000 ,. & 1 A W /•' shirk. If elected to office in some Sunday-school' Association — why then, as a rule, He'll take it and keep it all winter and spring, All summer and autumn, and not do a thing! He seems to forget that he was expected To do a few things when he was elected. But why expect him to be a bee-hive When only l / 2 of his heart is alive? For haven't I told you that in Christian work, It is natural for Mr. T / 2 Hearted to shirk? You see from his work he is easily diverted, Because he was never but slightly converted! Oh ! he'll get on the nest, to be sure, and he'll set, And he'll set, and he'll set, and he'll set, and he'll set! But he doesn't hatch anything all through the year: Just keep on a settin' ! O dear, he's so queer ! [70] In closing, I think it would be rather nice For Mr. y 2 Hearted to take some advice ! And I'd like to give it, with emphatic zest: If you just won't hatch nothiri , Get off of the nest! A FAVORITE SONG "Bringing in the sheaves, "Bringing in the sheaves," We do not like to miss a verse! But when the meeting adjourns we soon forget the song and leave the sheaves to come alone — like this: [71] JOHN TRUEMAN John Trueman was a noble-man, And you can bet your hat, That when John said he'd do a thing, The thing he did was that! And I've been told, and I'll tell you, And you don't need to laugh, He'd sooner break his neck in two Than break his word in half ! John was a County President, And when he was elected It looked to all quite evident He'd Do the things expected. John did not put it off and off, Till more convenient date, And then just put it off again Until it was too late ! But when the year was ended, As years most always do, John showed that he'd expended Both time and money, too ! [72] He'd traveled seven hundred mile Within his counties' borders. The reason? Well, you need not smile, He did not wait for orders! But forged ahead with might and main, And kept himself agoin', And never stopped to ascertain Which way the wind was bio win'. John never did a thing by halves, Nor quarters, and 'tis stated, That when John gave statistics, They were never "estimated" I To every township John had gone, Exactly as he should, And organized them everyone, Because he'd said he would ! At every school John visited, Before he had departed, He talked the Home Department up, And helped them get it started ! And you know well (and so do I), To state the fact in rhyme, When people really want a thing, They'll get it, every time ! Well, when the year had rolled away (As everyone expected), [73] Why, on the next convention day, Good John was re-elected ! And he finally said he'd take it (After balkin' for a minute), Because he was so modest like, And 'cause his heart was in it! And now good-bye, John Trueman ! You live the life that wins; You've done the work of two men : God bless you ! Are you twins? 74 "UNCLE SAM AND HIS MOTHER" The World's Third Sunday-school Conven- tion met in London, July 11-16, 1898. Most of the delegates, including the writer and his wife, crossed the ocean in a British boat named "The Catalonia" (a Cunard steamer), manned by a British crew and guided by a Brit- ish captain. There were about two hundred Americans on board, including several Canadians. It was July 1st. Three days later these two hundred Americans would be near the middle o'f the ocean, in a British boat, on the Fourth of July! and, wtiat then? Should they keep still, and forget what day it was? They never did that way at home ! Could they not even whistle the first verse of "Yankee Doodle" and would just one firecracker be one too many? There were the British all around us ! Should we cele- brate the day we licked them right on their own boat? Well, whether we should or shouldn't, that was exactly what we did! And we "did it up brown," too! And the British crew, and the captain, too, looked on and listened and enjoyed the fun as much as those who made it. A committee was appointed to prepare a suit- [75] able program, appoint the orators, poets, and musicians, and it fell to the lot of the writer to be a member of that committee, and he was ordered to write an appropriate poem for the occasion. In vain did he protest. He told the commit- tee he could write a poem on land easily enough ; and he could write a poem when he had a head- ache, or a backache, or a toothache, but whether he could write one with a stomachache, of the seasick variety, he did not know, for the good reason that he had never tried to. But even this sensible protest was voted down, the committee ignored it, and went right on with the program, and the writer ground out the following: [76] A KIND OF A "TEA PARTY" "Saw Such Stars and Felt Such Stripes" UNCLE SAM AND HIS MOTHER (Copyrighted 1898.) Some hundred and twenty years ago, When "Uncle Sam" was a boy, you know, He and his mother got into a muss, That resulted in serious family fuss. His mother had tried to make him pay For her support in a liberal way; And when he declared that it was not right She concluded to spank him with all her might. [77] So she drew him across her spacious knee, And applied her slipper so hard, that he, Saw such stars and felt such stripes As gave him a serious spell of the gripes. But little Sam was a sturdy chap, So he managed to slip from his mother's lap, And, though black and blue from his mother's shoe, He made up his mind just what he would do — He would sever his mother's apron-string, And show the old lady this one thing : That Independence was in his veins, And similar stuff was in his brains. His stern old mother was very sad, And as a matter of fact, she was very mad. It almost broke her dear old heart For her wayward son to "act so smart." She mourned the day he gave her the slip, And showed that he'd grown too big to whip, But such seemed the case; and to tell the rest of it Would show she decided to make the best of it. So she gave him a great big farm of his own ((Because she couldn't keep it), and let him alone ; [78] Which was just what he wanted, and, 'twixt you and me, It turned out that it suited him just to a T. Well, time moved on, and on, and on, And kept on moving, just right along. Then moved some more, and kept on still, A-moving along, as time always will. Meantime, Uncle Sam was doing his best On his great big farm far off to the West ; « • • . < PreservationTechnologie . A WORLD LEADER IN COLLECTIONS PRESERVATII C-' .ft. ■* >?sSSfflllHf£=7 O .\J" r 111 Thomson Park nriwo ,**\ COLLECTIONS PRESERVATIC 111 Thomson Park Drive Cranberry Township, PA 16066 (724) 779-2111 **** ♦♦ v % •^ f° %/