0*^ • • • * •^Ti. « > t • o ^i^ f\» i • • » "^^ /% ■/./\.-aKv**'"'^-' 6^ 'bV »^q* i» • • • . ■'^v i> '♦ s^ "- "^^^ ./ **fSI^^ 'e^ ^ V .V ^Crvc,^ <>*/*. .^•' ^0 K.^'' .♦^-v. «^ c^ < -^^0^ /. ."^"^ ^ A?' *- *n?v^ ^^0^ HO, ^^^^•^^ -.. *•;«>. "• .0^ >. qV . o - a I P. 0^ .0--., -^P, •• ,4^^\^.L^^L% "% 0°^ .^'-^'^^ '^^ 0^ '*' ..^"^-. '-^K^ o^^-^t. '^^ V 7 J>% *^» '^ :\ •^^0^ 0^ .•* » .^^ °^ .'^•'^ ^. ^. c >■ .^^-^^^ %*.-rrr.-^o _ °- % A* ^0^ ,*jl:^%. V . V - '^^..^^ ,*i«^^o \..^^^ - v^^ ^^ rfr sV ^•n.. • < P •i'' *!i PARERGA PARERGA: A COMPANION VOLUME TO UNDER THE CEDARS AND THE STARS BY CANON SHEEHAN, D.D. Author ©/""My New Curate," "Luke Delmege "Glenanaar," etc. LONGMANS, GREEN, AND CO. 91 AND 93 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK LONDON, BOMBAY, AND CALCUTTA 1908 |UBrlARYofCON«'i£3S 1 Two Copies > i-r t • a r rrom it a lire-elixir. A rew years ago, conscious of her great beauty, she almost spurned the flags of the village street, as she walked with springing step in all her Sunday finery, and knew that the eyes of many hungered after her. Then her own home became too small for her ambition. America alone was large enough for her desires. She went away, became a unit, an insignificant unit amongst millions, whose eyes, dazzled with the glare of gold, had no sight for her beauty. Then came sickness, sadness, a crav- ing for the old home, where she could at least die in peace, with friendly faces around her. She sat out during these few weeks, patient and sorrowful, AUTUMN 17 her physical beauty etherealised by the dread dis- ease that was slowly eating away her life. She has disappeared. It is easy to imagine the rest. The eternal hacking cough, the night-sweats, the ever-growing weakness, the depression, the despair — the calling on God at the midnight hour to plunge her into the blessed forgetful ness of a dreamless sleep ! XVIII And yet, if one in mercy whispers even the name of death as the one hope-giver, she shudders, looks frightened, and weeps. She cries all night long for unconsciousness, for Hcje^-giver. sleep. But the unconsciousness of death is an unspeakable terror. Why this incon- sistency ? Is not death a blessed thing, — God's greatest and most beautiful angel, who comes to us so softly, and so gently unweaves the bands of flesh, and touches so quietly that wound that the very touch is an anaesthetic ; and gradually weakens and uncoils the springs of existence, so that when at last he touches the last frail thread, it snaps without pain, and the soul sinks into a languor that is a sweet prel- ude to the eternal rest? Why do men fear it? Is it the inertia of life that will not bear transmission ? Or the habit of life that will not bear being broken ? Or the dread of " The undiscovered country, from whose bourn No traveller returns " ? Or a foolish fear, as of children who see spectres everywhere, and will not walk on unknown land, lest unseen terrors should leap forth to paralyse or appal ? PARERGA XIX So thought Lord Bacon : " Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark ; and as that natural fear in children is increased Sfnquered. ^^^^ ^^^^s, SO is the Other." And again : " I have often thought upon death, and find it the least of all evils. All that is past is a dream ; and he that hopes or depends upon time coming, dreams waking." Reason argues against the fear of death and discountenances it. Religion laughs at it : " O Death, where is thy sting ? O grave, where is thy victory ? " And yet, there seems to be but little use in arguing against it. Foolish men, who know so little, and do so much evil with that little knowledge, call it the " King of Terrors," as if we did not know, as the aforesaid Lord Bacon has already proved, that there is no passion that cannot conquer Death. '* Re- venge triumphs over it ; love slights it ; honour as- pireth to it ; grief flieth to it ; fear preoccupateth it ; nay, Seneca adds niceness and satiety. Think how often hast thou done the self-same things. It is not only the strong man, and the miserable man, but, even the weary man can wish to die" — that is, weary of doing the same thing over and over again. XX Perhaps, outside the magnificent hopes and prom- ises of religion, there is no greater, there is no sweeter anodyne of Death than the Eurnal'Law. reflection: It is the Law! Birth, reproduction, Death, — this is the programme of all things, sentient and insensible. AUTUMN 19 spiritual and material ; it is the unalterable decree in every kingdom, animal, vegetable, mineral. It is even the necessary law, if the universe is to con- tinue. Tithonus was wretched, because immortal. He was placed outside the pale of law, and hence, he craved Death. All must go. The type and species alone remain ; and these too must change in form in order to be permanent in reality. '* Nothing abides. The seas in delicate haze Go off; those mooned sands forsake their place ; And where they are shall other seas in turn Mow with their scythes of whiteness other bays. Lo, how the terraced towers and monstrous round Of league-long ramparts rise from out the ground With gardens in the clouds. Then all is gone. And Babylon is a memory and a mound. Observe the dew-drenched rose of Tyrian grain — A rose to-day. But you will ask in vain To-morrow what it is ; and yesterday It was the dust, the sunshine, and the rain. This bowl of milk, the pitch on yonder jar. Are strange and far-bound travellers come from far. This is a snow-flake that was once a flame, — The flame was once the fragment of a star." ^ XXI And whither all things go, we too are tending. Borne along on the river of Life, now fast, now slow, now gliding smoothly, and anon tossed hither and thither on the sur- ^a^fu[? ^^ face of ruffled and angry waters, there is no pause, no stay, no hiding under shady banks, ^ Mallock's "Lucretius." 20 PARERGA no retreating to forgotten and darkened coverts. The stream of humanity moves ever onwards to the great gulf, and we are borne with it. Let us not repine, nor fret at the inevitable. We are going the way of emperors and conquerors. " Thither the singers, and the Sages fare. Thither the great queens with their golden hair. Homer himself is there with all his songs ; And even my mighty Master's self is there. There too the knees that nursed you, and the clay That was a mother once, this many a day Have gone. Thither the King with crowned brows Goes, and the weaned child leads him on the way. Brother and friend, and art thou still averse To tread that road ? And will the way be worse For thee than them ? Dost thou disdain, or fear To tread the road of babes, and emperors ?" ^ XXII Yet it is hard to argue against the fear, especially with the young. So many passed by, and they . ^ . , chosen ! So many old and forlorn An Impartial L rr u J i but Unreason- creatures tor whom lite had no pleas- able Thmg. ^j.g^ because no hope, trembling on the verge, and yet apparently forgotten by the angel Death ! So many worthless creatures, whose lives do not contain a single utility, — nay, whose very existence seemed detrimental to every cause and individual with whom they came in contact; and lo ! Death passes them by, and leaves the barren fig-trees untouched ; and lays his heavy hand on some life, that was bourgeoning out in all fair promises of vast utility to itself and mankind. ^ Mallock's •* Lucretius." AUTUMN So argues a second patient of mine, a young man, stricken with that dread disease, cancer. He is not impatient nor disconsolate. He is resigned. But he cannot understand. He is perplexed by the mystery of things. He has had his sentence of death duly passed on him ; and the numbered hours are fleeting swiftly by. But he is young. He clings to hope. The local doctor is on his holi- days. He has a chance now. Perhaps some other may speak a word of hope. He summons him by telegram. He presents the following diagnosis of his formidable disease. XXIII " Seven months ago, in South Africa, I under- went an operation for epithelioma of the antrum, necessitating the excision of the left superior maxilla ; and, on account of Diagn^oSs^ exopthalmus, the left eye had to be enucleated. Since then my voice has been badly impaired ; and so I wrote down these particulars, my artificial palate not working properly of late. A few months after the operation, anaesthesia ex- tended along the temple and forehead on the left side. It has now crossed the middle line, and in- volves the whole forehead and scalp. I have been laid up for five days with a swollen eye-socket. It is with respect to the latter that I wish to consult you. Since the operation, the socket has been in a state of inflammation, with a profuse whitish dis- charge. It is now greatly swollen. The temple on the same side is also much swollen. The pain is not very great, but there is a feeling of uneasiness and oppression. The wound cavity left by the 22 PARERGA operation is looking well, and there is no evidence of recurrence in that quarter. I cannot account for the accentuation of the anaesthesia, for its extension, and for the aggravated state of the eye-socket. I would like you to tackle the eye-socket particularly ; that region is very anaesthetic, and is affecting my head greatly. I may mention there is still some granulated tissue and constant extravasation of blood behind the eye-socket or at the floor of the orbit, as I pay constant attention to it, and know how it is getting on." XXIV I doubt if there were on this planet a more sur- prised man than that doctor, when he read this diagnosis. The science of medicine Science.* ^^ ^ secret science. Very wisely, its professors have wrapped up all its principles and discoveries in an occult and dead language. Its prescriptions are written in a kind of luminous shorthand, of which only some letters are of Roman type, the rest being cabalistic signs. It is a kind of calyptic cypher of which only one man holds the key. It is pitiful, but instructive to see how an ordinary layman turns over the mysterious paper in his hand, and stares in blank ignorance at it ; and to witness his surprise when the chemist glances over it, and proceeds to interpret it in act. Then all medical books are written in great pon- derous symbols of sesquipedalian Greek, as if the writers kept Liddell and Scott always on their desks, and picked out the longest and hardest words. And then — watch the contemptuous and angry stare with which any layman, or even neophyte, is AUTUMN 23 crushed who dares to touch even the fringe of medical mystery. It is a kind of sacrilegious in- vasion into a region where only the initiated are admitted ; and happy is the unhappy wight who is let off easily with the warning : " You had better leave these things alone, young man ! " XXV It is the same with the Science of law. Here the adage holds, " The man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a chent." And we know ^ , , , . , . . Other Sciences. how sternly is the prescription en- forced in the courts of justice, that no man can be heard unless through the lips of a lawyer. You may be as learned as Scaliger, and have all the legal lore of Chitty and Bacon and Coke at your fingers' ends; but if you presume to infringe upon the he- reditary rights of the legal profession, you may be assumed to have sacrificed your best interests. " By whom are you represented, sir ? " is the dire ques- tion ? "By myself!" "Oh!" And your case is lost, that is, if you are permitted to speak at all ; for, in certain courts, you cannot plead except through the instrumentality of a lawyer. Is this right ? That is not the question. We are but stating facts — that a cordon is drawn around the learned professions by rule and statute, by prescrip- tion and tradition ; and all who are not initiated into the mysteries, who have not eaten dinners and sawed bones, are rigidly excluded. Right or wrong this exclusiveness undoubtedly surrounds the professions with a certain atmosphere of reverence which mate- rially helps to keep sacred the inner workings, which would soon be profaned by exposure. 24 PARERGA XXVI Strange to say, it is only theological science that has no such bounds and ramparts as these. It is a commonage where every one may Commo^ifage. ^^^^Y ^^ ^^^ °^" sweet will. It has been invaded, overrun by every class and every individual from the beginning of Chris- tianity until now. Under the Jewish dispensation, it was kept apart and sacred from the multitude, — hedged in by every kind of legislation, primitive and prohibitive. No man dared touch the Holy Moun- tain; no one but the High Priest was privileged to enter the Holy of Holies. One tribe was set apart for the priesthood. All teaching and all legislation came from the lips of a consecrated priesthood. Still more exclusive and dominant were, and are, the sacred hierarchies of the Eastern religions. The Lamas and Brahmins allow no lay-interference with their privileges. Even kings and emperors must keep aloof. Their lamaseries and monasteries are sacred ground, where no one dare trespass without permission. Their traditional teachings are such that no man dares contravene or challenge. But no sooner was Christianity established than a Simon Magus tried to penetrate and purchase its myste- rious powers ; and from the first, laymen, from the Emperor down to the prefect, sought to usurp the sacred rights of the Christian priesthood, and mould the dogmas of the Christian faith to suit political exigencies or private whims. AUTUMN 25 XXVII Then came the great rebellion, with its cardinal principle that theology was no science ; that relig- ion had no mysteries; and that every man had a perfect right to frame his Rebe^Uon! own dogma according to the direction of private interpretation. And whilst all other sciences became more exact in their guiding laws, and sought to render more rigid every day the boundaries of professional exclusiveness ; whilst great generalisations broke up into special depart- ments, and each department surrounded itself by abattis after ahattis of rules and ceremonies, the vast domain of theology was broken into by every sacri- legious and impious speculator, and all its mysteries were profaned by hands that held them up to the public gaze either as commonplace truths that no man could deny, or fraudulent presumptions that no man could accept. And to-day, scientific men of every rank and grade, biologists, geologists, astron- omers, legislators in every shape, literary men through the press, judges on the bench, and even the " man in the street " crowd through the broken defences and tumbled barricades to plough and sow, and reap a sorry harvest where once was the wheat that made the Bread of Life, and the wine that germinated virgins. XXVIII Apart from the desecration and the unreasoning fury and folly of all this, it is a dis- tinct departure from the secret and DepYS^Tre"''^'' inviolable laws that direct the oper- ations of evolution in Nature and Society. For we 26 PARERGA know that the lower the organism, the more simple are its organs and operations. In certain zoophytes, each part is capable of every function. As we ad- vance higher in the scale, the functional energies, becoming more extended, demand new organs for their operation ; until we reach the higher mammals, where every function has its own specific organ, localised and developed. The same tendency ex- ists in the body politic, where all the energies are again specifically located, and, though obedient to and progressing from a common centre, are concen- trated in some council, or society, or department, whose operations, if controlled from a centre, are yet specifically distinct, and more or less independ- ent. In the science of theology alone, there is, on the part of the masses, an idea that, dissolved as a science, it had better be allowed to drift back to primitive elements — which are the thoughts of in- dividuals — for dogmata, and the vagaries of human passion for moral and ethical principle. XXIX And yet theology is a science, a great science, a complicated science ; a science to the upbuilding of which were devoted the energies scilnce^^^ o^ ^^e greatest intellects that have become incarnated on this planet. A world of iconoclasts, such as that in which we live, may pass by with unbowed heads the statues of St. Augustine and St. Thomas ; and may affect never to have seen the shrines where saints and scholars, like Ambrose and Bernard, are niched for ever. But they cannot break them. And so long as the printing-press shall last, there shall re- AUTUMN 27 main the record of their studies in the greatest of human sciences, and the results of their researches into the recesses of mysteries, which are to-day, as yesterday, as closed secrets to the eyes of science as they were when men believed that the heavens were domed above the earth as the centre and pivot of space. It is pitiful to see the easy and flippant way in which modern sciolists dispense with the consideration of questions that agonised the minds of Tertullian and Augustine. XXX Yes, my good doctor was much surprised. He seemed not able to take his eye from that page where the dying boy had recorded the dread symptoms of the disease SedkS"^'" that was slowly eating away his life. He whistled softly to himself, looked curiously at the patient, whispered the mysterious words, " epi- thelioma," " enucleated," " antrum," " maxilla," and finally asked : " You have been a medical student ? " " No ! " was the faint, muffled whisper that came from the diseased throat. " I am a journalist ! " " Oh ! " " But," the doctor said, after a pause, " no one but a medical expert could have written this ? " " I made a study of the disease when I knew I was aflfected," was the reply. " Rather a foolish thing," said the doctor, main- taining the professional exclusiveness. " Not at all," was the reply. " There is no mys- tery about it." The doctor shook his head. This was rank heresy to his mind. He turned to me. 28 PARERGA XXXI " Strange," he whispered, although the hideous malady had destroyed the boy's hearing, " how „,, „ . , things work. The blow falls here Ultra C re pi dam. , ° , , , , and there ; and there appears to be no rule, no uniformity, no consistency." I nodded acquiescence. " If any one were to ask why this boy, clever, accomplished, enterprising, should have been struck down on the very threshold of a brilliant career, whilst hundreds of mere hinds and louts go free, where would be the answer ? " The good doctor never saw that he was passing ultra crepidam. He who would resent, who did resent, the trespass of that poor boy upon the sacred precincts of medical science, was now uncon- sciously usurping the office of theologian. For medical science has only to deal with facts, I pre- sume, — physiological facts, pathological facts, ma- teria medica, etc., etc. What has a doctor to do with philosophy, — with motives, reasons, causes of things ? Let him keep to his scalpel and his steth- oscope ! But no ! Every one must have his say about these transcendent mysteries that have ever stupefied and puzzled the human mind, as if they were market-merchandise, to be turned over, and pulled asunder, and examined and valued by every hind, or huckster, or vivandiere, who wants a cheap bargain. Well, after all, it argues the existence of something more than a beaver or squirrel faculty in man, and, as such, is worthy of some esteem. I thought this, but did not say it to my good doctor. Then I took the thought home with me. It was my property. AUTUMN 29 Section II XXXII The mystery of suffering ! The great eternal problem ! And yet no problem at all, if we only consider it as a Law of Being. Apart altogether from the higher and tran- Jiy^sSy** scendent and beautiful teachings of religion, which place an aureole around the crown of thorns on each wounded head, and throw the irides- cence of hope athwart the gloomiest and darkest sky, is it not in the nature of things that suffering is in- evitable? I look at it under three aspects: (i) As a necessary condition of imperfect beings; (2) as a necessary motive power in carrying on the work of existence ; (3) as an unconscious but most noble revelation to higher beings than we are of facts and principles in the great economy of creation that perhaps otherwise would be hidden from them for ever. I know perfectly that all these philosophical reasonings cannot mitigate pain any more than rea- soning can disarm Death of its terrors, or soothe an excruciating physical torment. I know no philo- sophical talisman for anguish or sorrow, except that final hope of suffering humanity : All things have an end. But, nevertheless, it may be in our pain- less moments a soothing thought that suffering is not the unreasoning and inconsiderate infliction on helpless beings of pain from the hands of a supreme and arbitrary power ; but that behind it there may be grave motives and far-reaching designs which our imperfect knowledge may feebly grasp, if we cannot always hold fast to them as a consolatory remedy for our weakness and our woes. 30 PARERGA XXXIII It is strange that men will not see how suffering is the inevitable accompaniment of our state of ex- istence. Whether man has fallen The Inevitable. ^ ~ - . .. from a state or perfection according to Christian truth and belief, keeping still some vague tradition of that happy condition in his eter- nal dream of the perfectibility of the race ; or whether, in the evolutionist theory, he is supposed to be struggling upwards from primary elements towards more spacious conditions and final developments, it must be admitted that this his intermediate state is a state of imperfection, with all the blunted senses, stunted faculties, darkened intellect, and weakened will, that denote a fallen or struggling being. In such a state, suffering is inevitable. Death must be preluded by disease ; and the aspiring soul must beat its wings in fruitless efforts to touch an ideal that is ever present, and ever unattainable. Hence, the sublime dissatisfaction that ever haunts the dreams of mortals, — the never-satisfied craving and hunger after an indefinable something that ever eludes us, and that is not to be attained, no matter how frequently we change the surroundings of life and seek to satisfy our unquenchable desires. Hence come mental pain and anxiety, — "the look- ing before and after and pining for what is not," of which the poet speaks, — the restlessness and irrita- bility, the exaggeration of trifles, the sad presenti- ments of the future, the bitter remorse for neglected opportunities that beset the weary way, — the via dolorosa of human life. AUTUMN 31 " Nothing begins and nothing ends. That is not paid with moan; For we are born in others' pain. And perish in our own." XXXIV Again, there can be no progress without pain. In pain are we brought forth into the world; in pain do we grow and increase ; in pain, perhaps painless pain, do we wUhrmPafn. die. But never a forward step is taken by man or society without pain and suffering. The whole development of human character is wrought, and can only be wrought, by self-denial and suffering, by the patient bearing of weary burdens, by the crushing of one's own will, by the forehead wrinkled and the face agonised under the pressure of torture. All the finest faculties of our nature remain dormant until they wake under the sharp accolade of pain. We all know the beauty of a suf- fering creature, — the unspeakable beauty of death. It is only the sharp chisel of pain that can round the lineaments into such perfect and ethereal love- liness. Take the case of this poor boy. The left profile is, if you like, hideously scarred by his disease and by the cicatrices of the surgeon's knife. The cheek is deeply furrowed and fallen in, where the maxilla was removed ; and the eye-socket is swollen and discoloured from the disease that is proceeding beneath. But the left profile — narrow white fore- head, great luminous eye, straight nose, and cheek and chin covered with a light, fair beard — is per- fect; perfect above all by that colour of gentle paleness that marks the patience of great suffering, endured bravely, and without a murmur. 32 PARERGA XXXV The social body, too, is moved ahead along the wheels of suffering. It is a sad truth that the hor- rors of war appear to be the necessary of^Civmsation"* preliminaries to advancing civilisa- tion. Every great forward movement in human history has been preluded by conquest. Degeneracy is the adjunct of continued peace. Hence the school of thinkers who maintain that war is a necessity for eliminating the weaker ele- ments of a nation and developing its strength ! Is it peace or war ? better, war ! loud war by land and sea. War with a thousand battles, and shaking a hundred thrones. It is famine, too, that scattered the civilising races over the earth. The surplus populations in the old countries, driven to distress and despair by over- crowding, fled their own land with its congested millions, and carried civilisation across seas and lands to black and tawny savages. These in turn yielded under the sword, and the " white man " triumphed. We cannot say much for the morality of such progress : but we are speaking of facts. Famine drove forth the conquerors ; the conquered perished by the sword. Civilisation followed in the wake of the latter; that is, along the valleys of suffering and death. The path of progress is the path of pain. Bleached bones and broken hearts mark every inch of its way. AUTUMN 33 XXXVI But there is a third consideration, which is for ever rising up before my mind. I can hardly con- ceive anything so absurd as the proud ^ ^ , „ . . , . ■^11 J • r t • Grades of Spirits. claim made by us, denizens or this little planet, that we represent the acme of perfection in God's universe ; that we are the objective of all evolutionary processes, — the sum total and crown- ing-point of all the mysterious designs and occult operations of the universe. Man has always seemed to me to be the lowest representative of intellect in the Universe, if he is the highest animal. And I never had the least doubt that there are species and types beyond limit, of spiritual and intellectual es- sences, either resident, as we are, in planetary worlds, or diffused universally through the ether in which the universe is enveloped. Our conceptions of the seraphim and the cherubim would represent the high- est attainable grade in spiritual perfections. But between the seraphim and man, what a mighty gulf interposes ! What a vast space to be peopled with great spirits ! And what tremendous possibilities for the exercise of the never-tiring, ever-plastic attri- bute of God's omnipotence ! XXXVII Astronomy, too, reveals to us the possibility of the planets, not only of our system, but of greater systems, being peopled with types of pure spirits, or mingled ere- planets!*^ ations, diverse as the faces of men, and numberless as the sands of the sea. That our 3 34 PARERGA little moth-planet occupies the central position in the universe, which can have no centre, is an as- sumption so grotesque that men wondered when a distinguished professor advanced the theory last year. We have to judge of the condition of the universe outside ourselves by reason and analogy. And reason tells us what a deordination it would be that only one planet amongst myriads should be inhabited by reasoning and sentient beings ; and analogy teaches us that, inasmuch as the conforma- tion of the earth does not differ materially from that of the other planets, there is every reason to sup- pose that similar conditions are adapted to similar, if higher, races of being ; and that Nature, in its mighty evolutions under the All-guiding Hand, has not broken its moulds, nor lost its cunning, when it placed man as master on this tiny world in space. XXXVIII Now each tiniest item of creation works outward and upward, subserving some higher species. Its energies are not limited to its own of^N^ur^^^'" existence or welfare ; nor even to the continuance and preservation of its own kind. It is the Altruism of Nature — the de- sign of making all things cooperate in one single plan ; each working for some higher existence than its own, and subserving some higher and hidden purpose far beyond its ken. For, just as each drop of rain serves the ulterior purpose of carrying salts to the sea; as the coral insect builds an island, and then a continent, while it perishes ; as the tiny shell- fish dies, after extracting from its own viscera the material that goes to build yonder cathedral ; so AUTUMN 35 every human life has some ulterior purpose, as yet but dimly guessed, but yet most certainly to be revealed. And, as the rabbit or guinea-pig in the hands of the scientist knows nothing in its pain of the vast purposes it subserves, and only knows that it is passing through a mysterious trial under the hands of some superior and powerful being, so we, too, are ignorant of the purposes which we serve throughout the universe of God by the mysterious agency of labour and pain and suffering. XXXIX And may it not happen that, as the shrinking animal gives ideas that are helpful to the higher species of its own creation, so we also may be the means, through labour, lation* ^^^^" agony, and even death, of communi- cating larger knowledge, nay, perhaps wider help, to beings of whose existence we can form but a vague comprehension, but who are as far beyond us as we are beyond the beasts that perish and are dumb? And may there not be some supreme science, some synthesis of all earthly sciences, such as we are always seeking after, but never attaining; and that all this human pain and suffering under which we blindly labour, and which sometimes seems to us such an infliction of unnecessary cruelty on the part of an all-powerful but capricious Being, are con- tributory to the perfecting of that science, just as the toxin in the veins of an afflicted beast reveals some secret to the eye of a scientist, who in turn builds therefrom some great theory fraught with illimitable and beneficial consequences to suffering mankind ? 36 PARERGA XL So thinks, too, my poor patient, as far as I can distinguish his words spoken through the muffled and distorted medium of a diseased Death?" °* mouth. He had been one of our most brilliant pupils here a few years ago, and had shown a marked aptitude for compo- sition, shorthand, and type-writing. Then, con- scious of his powers, and knowing that there was no room for the exercise of them here, he left home, took up a subordinate position on some Irish jour- nals, using every farthing of his salary to buy books. Thence, fired with ambition, he went to South Africa, became sub-editor on an influential paper, with a handsome salary, and was moving upwards and onwards to very high positions, when one day he noticed a slight anaesthesia in the left cheek. It was nothing, apparently, and his medical advisers suggested neuralgia. The theory was consolatory, if not convincing. Then the left eye began to bulge forward, and he sought the help of higher science. The verdict was instantaneous and fatal — cancer. Death in three months, unless an operation was eflfected. Death in any case, but slightly deferred. And preferring to sleep under the Irish shamrocks at home, rather than beneath the South African veldt, the poor wrecked spirit sought its native land. AUTUMN 37 XLI Wisely or unwisely, too, he had made a study of his disease, as we have seen ; and he knew the dis- tinction between the various forms of his dread malady as well as his '"JoneT""''^ physician. It was pathetic to hear him explaining the exact difference between epithe- lioma, sarcoma, carcinoma, etc., — words, I could not help thinking, fit to be the symbols of flowers, or other fair and holy things, but now consecrated, or desecrated, to the nomenclature of the most intractable and hideous disease that afflicts poor humanity. But he knows it all ; sees in it the indi- cation of the existence of a Higher, controlling Power; murmurs sometimes about his youth, and all its fair promise cut away ; dreams of what might have been, had he been allowed to pursue his pro- fession under such glorious and happy auspices. Then, whilst a tear steals forth, glistens and falls, he murmurs that best prayer for us poor, purblind creatures, " Thy will be done ! " XLII Thank God, the leaden skies, and the southwest storms, and the driving rain have come at last. It is a strange exclamation of gratitude, and I suppose very few would echo ^Stf ^^^ it. And yet, I confess, I prefer the shortened days and lengthened nights, the sombre skies and the sound of storms, to the languor and heat, and the eternal blue of summer days and sum- mer skies. I certainly love the brightness and beauty of a summer morning, when the sun streams 38 PARERGA in, and lights up the colours and gilding on my books and pictures ; and, in the garden, all sweet, fair things turn their faces towards the light-giver and life-giver. But I shrink from the stare of the great, open eye of a summer day ; and the long, dreamy twilights fill me with unspeakable melan- choly. I don't know what it is, — whether it is the passing nature of all summer loveliness, or whether it is the lonely setting of evening suns, or the pale aspect of things in contrast with the splendour and glare that have disappeared ; but, whatever it is, I tire of its sombre beauty, and cry for my lamp and fireside, for the book that is never so dear as when the pale yellow light falls and pauses on its pages. XLIII Then the very stillness of Summer becomes op- pressive. There is a languor over all things, an effeminacy of atmosphere and tem- BoreasT*' perature that seems to suggest a sick condition of things, physical as well as mental. The lazy winds that breathe so softly from the south, and feebly lift up the leaves of syca- more and beech, and stir so faintly the sleepy head of the rose, are again suggestive of weakness and languor and debility. Perhaps, too, the aspect of pale consumptives, who were hidden away all the Winter from its rude embraces, and now come forth to sit or walk feebly in the summer heat, may, through some strange association of ideas, suggest sickness and disease. But I don't like it. I want the bellowing and roaring and defiance of Boreas, as he thunders out of the north, and sweeps down on hillside and forest, and shakes and sways the mass- AUTUMN 39 ive frames of yonder giants, and tosses their branches furiously against each other, and strews road and sward and forest glade and the surface of the agi- tated river with the spoils of countless leaves and berries, and bares the vast arcades till their white trunks seem the newly polished pillars in the great cathedral of Nature. XLIV I know no rarer human pleasure than to lie awake at night in the late Autumn or early Winter, and, whilst the cheerful fire is crackling in the grate and flinging giant shadows J^\ui°!^' on the ceiling, to listen to the fore- gathering and bursting of a midnight storm. Prob- ably it is the contrast between our sense of security and comfort and the dangerous elements raging out- side that makes the pleasant surroundings so de- lightful, according to the initial word of philosophy uttered by Lucretius : "When storms blow loud, 't is sweet to watch at ease From shore, the sailor labouring with the seas ; Because the sense, not that such pains are his. But that they are not ours, must always please." But, apart from that, there is a sense of the splen- dour and magnificence of things when the riot of Nature begins afar off in the sky, and its elemental forces, always kept in check by supreme, invisible laws, appear to have broken loose, and, trailing behind them the sundered chains that had bound them, sweep down with irresistible and destructive force on the passive and tortured earth. When the serenities of Nature are broken up, one sees the awful and veiled terrors that lie hidden beneath. 40 PARERGA XLV But there is a curious dramatic force or power in these storm-displays. An earthquake, without monition or scenic effect, tears and tIe%?o?iS!^ °^ rends a vast city in pieces. A flash of lightning smites suddenly and swiftly, and the thunder rolls out its salvo of tri- umph over defeated or shattered nature. But it is a momentary, a transient, and a monotonous dem- onstration. But in the gathering of a midnight storm far away and far up in the skies and dark- ness ; in the tumult and roar of vast forces collected from the four points of the heavens and flung into inextricable confusion ; in the pause and silent gird- ings and strappings before the great downward charge on the earth ; in the fury and determination of the onset as it bears with coherent and irresistible force on town, or hamlet, or forest; in its trophies of rooted trees and the crash that accompanies their destruction, and the flying slates that are lifted like papers and carried onward lightly on the wings of the blast; there is a tragic and sublime revelation that thrills one with a sense of awe, and a corre- sponding sense of selfish delight at one's own safety. XLVI Next to that sense of pleasure and safety is the delight of Hstening on an autumnal night, when , „ . it is dark and still, to the steady. Autumnal Rains. i i • • i r n r i i rhythmic, musical fall of slow, heavy, autumnal rains. The zip, zip, of the rain-drops falling in the darkness, and gathering in larger globules on the red and yellow leaves ; the swish AUTUMN 41 of the channel runlets carried on as if by some kind of capillary attraction to the river, as the river is borne by its own hidden laws towards the sea ; the stillness and sombreness of the autumnal night ; and the symbolism of autumnal decay and weeping and darkened skies, — all have a touch of that sweet, sad melancholy, which, if we are to believe old Fletcher and our own experience, has some- thing in it more daintily sweet than the vain de- lights and passion-swept nights of the votaries of pleasure and fashion. Yes ! I think the Autumn of the year, though it is bereft of all the joyance and pleasance of Spring, is best after all. It seems, at least, to symbolise what is best; that is, fruitage and harvesting, and the rest that comes after labour. XLVII So, too, I think the Autumn of life Is best. I admit that youth has its raptures and enthusiasms, — its intense enjoyment of the pres- ent, its magnificent dreams of the "^f \,tfe*""^° future. The sun shines out in all his splendour and majesty. That grey, sombre cloud, experience, which warms and fertilises our little lives, has not yet thrown his shadow across our path. We live in the present moment, which is the sum-total of all philosophy ; we ignore the past with all its faults and blunders and sins ; and we look forward to the future under the shining iris of eternal hope. And yet youth has its pains and penalties too, — its uncertainties, its disappoint- ments, its keen pangs of unreturned passions and unrequited loves ; its heat and fury and headlong plunging into abysses, whence it emerges with broken wings and shattered nerves. Yes ! the au- 42 PARERGA tumnal sorrows are less keen ; and if only the middle-aged could keep that great secret of youth, — to live in the present moment, and let the future and the past take care of themselves, I think it would be the supremely happy period of our mortal existence. XLVIII I am confirmed in this conviction by the few autumnal acquaintances I have made. Or rather, I should say, " had made," for now quainTan^t'" ^hey have become phantoms of the past, shadows thrown across the can- vas through the magic lantern of life. Some are real phantoms, — glimmering ghosts looking at me with their spectral faces from eternity. Others have passed beyond my ken for ever. If I fix their contours and colours on this page, there will be no unkindness, if we are to believe the words of the poet : " The proper study of mankind is man ! " I do not at all agree with the famous aphorism. I think the subject a poor one at the best. The proper study of mankind is the individual's soul, laid bare under the searchlight of conscience ; and the mysteries of being; and the secrets that underlie the flower and the star; and the evolution of life and its ultimate term ; and all the mighty questions that have agitated the world from the beginning, and will continue to agitate it to the end of time. But I seize on the liberty of painting my fellow beings, because they illustrate my theories about the Autumn of life, — its serenities and cares, its remorses and anticipations, its claim for precedence above the hot passions of youth, and the subdued but not extinguished fires of middle age. AUTUMN 43 XLIX My first study Is not a remarkable one. He is easily met with in daily life. He is a thoroughly successful man. He is young still, ^ , . ^1 r ^- T^u • 1 ^ great Success. only m the forties. 1 here is no mark of decay or failure about him except that a few Unes of silver are shot through his blue-black, bushy hair. This is creased over the left temple, and brushed back, thick and glossy, over his head. He looks at you with cold, clear blue eyes, mild in their radiance, but set deep and fast, as if they were embedded in adamant ; for they do not seem to look at you, but to fall on you and remain fast- ened to your face. There are two well-marked lines in the short, stubby, firm nose, which is squared at the tips. He is always as closely shaven as a judge, and his face is blue-black from the razor. And this shows the straight slit that marks his mouth, and the square, firm chin beneath. He never smiles, or smiles in such a sort as if he chid and scorned himself for smiling. No man ever saw his teeth in speech or laughter. He has all his means cosily and safely invested in five per cent stock. He gives admirable dinners, and always finds people to eat them. His plate, his ware, his servants are perfection. He accepts the praises of men politely, but with evident incredulity. He forces champagne on them, but sips a little Hoch- heimer himself. He has never married, nor touched a card, nor betted on a horse, because he abhors all chance. Everything must be a dead certainty to him. He goes every year to Marienbad to ease his liver and get the fur out of his arteries. He 44 PARERGA figures largely in subscription-lists ; and having made everything snug and secure in this world he is try- ing hard to secure the hereafter also. He has some suspicion that all his gains are not lawful ; and he is covering the doubt with munificent charities. / But he is autumnal — that is my point. He has all the serenity of grey skies and mild weather, the T, m, ^- • slightest touch of incipient decay, but But a Mediocrity. ii i i • i i i 111 ail the largesse m health and wealth that the years have garnered for him. He is enjoy- ing the harvest of life, reaping all its blessedness, rejoicing in all its fulness. He has made no mis- takes that would now embitter with remorse his repose ; and he is cautious, but not fearful, of a future whose uncertainties he has calculated and reduced to a minimum. He comes near perfection, yet falls infinitely short of it. Infinitely.'' Yes. He is only, after all, a calculating machine — a thing that is wound up every day, and every day does precisely what it did the day before. He is too uniformly successful to be human. He can never rise above mediocrity. He can never make great mistakes, and do great things. He lives on the lower levels of self, hedged around by caution, fenced by prudence, safeguarded by foresight. The eternal heights are not for him. The struggle, the fall, the repeated and gallant attack, the scramble, the wounds, the gaining of one ledge after another, the final leap over the last barrier, the planting of the flag on the citadel, with the/jy suis^fy reste for his motto, are not for him. Leave him alone down there with his pieces of metal and his smug hypocrisy ! He has no part with the great ones of the earth. AUTUMN 45 LI My second type is the very antithesis of this. He has plunged suddenly downwards from affluence to poverty, and has kept his equa- nimity unruffled. He had been in ^n^rRuin. the enjoyment of some thousands a year; had had a suburban villa so filled with all sorts of art-treasures that one could scarcely move around his rooms. The walls were so lined with etchings and engravings, statuettes and pictures, bronze busts and plaques, that scarcely one square inch of paper was visible. Out of doors his gardens stretched up in stately terraces, one rivalling the other in splendour, until the whole beautiful vista terminated in a pavilion, again filled with all kinds of costly and artistic things gathered from reposito- ries in the great cities of the world. Here, from time to time, that is very often, he brought together numerous friends from city and town, regaled them with every luxury, amused them with every kind of entertainment, until the place became a little Paradise above the sea, which lent to the scene its own enchantment. Then came the crash. The whole thing vanished like a dream. It was many years after that when I visited the place again. I had seen it in the very zenith of its glory, and had taken away and stored up in the maps of memory a beautiful picture of the place, of its surroundings, of its generous and kindly master. I passed by in the dusk of the evening. The high wall that shielded from vulgar observation all this loveliness was broken down. I went in. The magnificent pavilion was a mass of ruin ; its perfect flower-beds 46 PARERGA were overgrown with nettles. The splendid urns that capped the pedestals were slimy and broken. It was a picture of ruin and desolation. LII Soon after I met the former master of this ruined paradise. Although past his seventieth year, he ^ , _ was still in all his autumnal splen- Guarda e Passa. , ^^ j -n r if dour. i