MflNYlSECREtSlEVEALED BEHIND THE SCENES IN— \»WiTO 1^ AWa^ifir^^QO Joxtroailist WashingtoThl). C MANY SECRETS REVEALED ; Ten Years Behind the Scenes IN WASHINGTON CITY. BY A WASHINGTON JOURNALIST. 41J, 1 1 COPYBIGHT SECtTRED. ^^}^i.r WASHINGTON, !>. C. 1885. ^^ to^ Cot \ :ER. Grant came in he continued him in office and he remained in posi- tion until his death in 1883. Up to the Hayes regime Judge Ray- ner was always treated with profound respect by all with whom he came in contact. But, as Solicitor of the Treasury, John Sherman soon determined that he should be shorn of all official authority. To that end Sherman resorted to every means in his power to de- grade and belittle the noble North Carolinian simply because he was an honorable Southern gentleman — one who could not be used to corruptly forward Sherman's aspirations. Even the small at- taches of the solicitor's office, such as Robinson, Elms, and others equally insignificant, were encouraged to persecute and annoy him. Such was the official terrorism to which this patriot was sub- jected that for three years he was in daily expectation of a discharge from the service. Knowing that his integrity was inflexible, he was relieved from the responsibility of approving vouchers for money drawn on the Secret Service fund, thus leaving that prolific field to be cultivated by Sherman and his rapacious crew of hangers- on, with no Rayner to molest or make them afraid. Occasionally Mr. Rayner would lose his temper, when he forciby gave vent to expressions not in the least complimentary to Sherman and his henchmen. But the ambition of his life was to get out the Court of Claims bench. He had promises from Grant, Hayes, and Ar- thur, but each determined that he was too honest for the place, knowing, as they well did, that he would never consent to run any dubious curves for their henchmen. Early in 1883, Judge Rayner sent for the writer and asked him to copy an elaborate attack on the Court of Claims, and especially on Judge David Davis, of Illinois, for the part he took in securing Rayner's defeat for a seat on that bench. I cheerfully complied, but the article was never printed, because the noble old man died soon after. About two weeks before his death he met the aforesaid fence-straddler, Davis, in the lobby of the National Hotel, when the following colloquy ensued : Rayner. Mr. Davis, did I ever do you a personal injury? Davis. Why, no, judge. Why do you ask such a question ? Rayner. Mr, Davis, did you or did you not say to Presi- dent Arthur that I was too old for the Court of Claims? Davis. Well, I believe I did say that, but really I did not mean that you should eyer hear of it. Rayner. Well, Mr. Davis, let me say to THE liAITE KENNETH RAYNER. 51 you, sir, that I may be a little older than you are, but I am young enough to whip you any day, and I notify you now that if I ever hear of your talking about me in that way again, sir, I will cut your ears ofP and nail them up on the wall. The Illinois statesman trembled like an aspen, and it was as much as bystanders could do to deter Mr. Rayner from kicking him out into the street. In 1878 one A. M. Soteldo made a most uncalled-for and unjust attack on Mr. Rayner, in a dirty sheet called the National Repub- lican, which the judge promptly resented by chastising the offender on the Fifteenth-street entrance to the Treasury building. Judge Rayner's refusal to prostitute his position in the interest of fraud- ulent claimants was the cause of the lampoons which emanated against him from Soteldo's pen in the aforesaid disreputable sheet. I refer to the above incidents in the career of Mr. Rayner with a view to showing the animi and abuses to which an honorable public officer in Washington is always subjected. The fact that he enjoyed the confidence and respect of the best people in both sections was no protection from the assaults of the low and ignoble " ringsters" who held sway in and out of the Departments during the last six years of Mr. Rayner's official career. On one occasion I was in his office when a Philadelphian, under indictment by the United States court for smuggling Sea-Island cotton yarns, and who had for months been vainly endeavoriug to effect a compro- mise with the Government, presented himself, armed with a letter of introduction from an eminent Washington banker. The letter expressed the hope that Mr. Rayner would "strain a point," and allow the smuggler to adjust his differences with the Government on as easy terms to him as possible. Mr. Rayner's face colored instantly, as he handed the man the letter, saying : " Tell Mr. R. that I shall take no more notice of his appeal than if it had come from his bootblack." The man hung his head and retired to the room of a high Treasury official who made a specialty of effecting compromises of that nature with the Government. But the gallant old man could not survive the assaults continually being made upon him by the cowardly curs of the Treasury. Constant irrita- tion affected his brain, and he died, after a brief illness, in the same room in which his old leader, Clay, expired. 52 THE LATE KENNETH RAYNBR. I cannot better close this article than bj- relating the following incident which I heard from Mr. Rayner's own lips. It appears that two disreputable women appeared at Henry Clay's room at his hotel one night, during his absence, when they got into a fight, pulling and tearing each other's ribbons and hair at the most furious rate. Mr. Clay became greatly alarmed lest the affair get into the columns of the leading Democratic paper at the capital. He there- tore sent for his trusted lieutenant, Mr. Rayner, and asked what course of pursuance he would advise to suppress the matter. The latter told him not to be concerned in the least about the matter, as he would see that no mention would be made of it in the press. Mr. Rayner then wended his way to the newspaper office, and begged the reporters to make no allusion to the matter, which they readily promised. But to make assurance doubly sure he sat up until 11 o'clock, when the paper went to press. He then retiredfor the night. The next morning he called at Mr. Clay's room early with a copy of the paper to show that no mention had been made of the scandal. "I sat up until 11 o'clock to see that the fellows did not lie to me," said Mr. Rayner. "But what was the use in your sitting up so late ?" said Mr. Clay. " If the article had been put in you could not have stopped it." " Yes, I could," rejoined Mr. Rayner; "I would have stood by that press and bought every paper they could print until it was time to go to press again." I regarded it a rare privilege to know Kenneth Rayner. He was without guile, and he led a blameless public and private life. He stalked through the corruptions of Washington in the most corrupt of eras without even the semblance of smoke upon his garments. He has left for his posterity and hosts of admiring friends a good name, which the Scriptures tell us is more enviable than great rich 38. CHAPTER XII. ARTHUR'S ADMINISTRATION. FATAIj OONSEQUENOES to the republican party of new YORK WARD POLITICAL METHODS IN FEDERAL POLITICS. The RejJublican party was well nigh stranded by Grant, but it completely succumbed after enduring three years of Arthur, sup- plemented by the blighting influences of Geo. Bliss, Ben. Brewster, et id omne genus. Arthur was scarcely warm in Garfield's seat before the White House became filled with the scurviest set of ringsters who ever afflicted New York politics. At the head of the disreputable crew was George Bliss, who never conceived a higher estimate of politics than the number of dollars he could make by methods peculiarly his own For instance, the sta/r routers had robbed the Government out of millions of dollars, yet Bliss, Brewster & Co. were smart enough to enter upon a vain investiga- tion of the alleged thieves for the sole purx^ose of fleecing the Gov- ernment. In a futile effort to convict Kellogg, Brady, and Dorsey they actually received from the Government hundreds of thou- sands of dollars. They thought that the star routers had been too modest, and so they went to work to pick up anything that might be found "lying around loose" in the Treasury. The scandals that grew out of the star route prosecutions were quite enough of themselves to kill the Republican party. Then there was the frilled and furbelowed Brewster, who soon made himself the laughing- stock of the nation. It was openly charged in th3 Washington papers that he was constantly in a maudlin state — more fitted to associate with debauchees than occupy the exalted position of chief law officer of a great nation. This man Brewster was a crea- ture of Senator Don. Cameron, and no man to this day knows the motives which induced Cameron to recommend him for so respon- sible a trust. But Cameron is a brainless fellow, and perhaps he mistook Brewster's frills and panelled equipages for statesmanship of a high order. Certain it is, however, that the most potent auxiliary the Democratic party had in the late campaign was this unscrupulous and totally incompetent man (?) Brewster. No i:)oliti- 54 Arthur's administration. cal party could live under the blighting influences of Brews ler, and he finally succeeded in contributing more than anybody else to the scuttling of the old ship. He will now retire to the shades of private life, and may daily be found, after the 4th of March proximo, at his old Philadelphia stand, pursuing the same sharp practices at the bar which have long since made him notorious as the "sharpest" lawyer in that city, famous the world over for the unscrupulousness of its barristers. Next to Brewster, the moat questionable character Arthur had in his Cabinet was the notorious Wm. E. Chandler, a man whose an- tecedents were so dubious that a Republican Senate declined to confirm him as Solicitor-General of the United States. There is no doubt that Chandler was the prince of jobbers. He thought he would feather his nest as Secretary of the Navy, but a Congress remarkable for its unscrupulousness refused to vote him a dollar, notwithstanding the assurances they received that there would be " money enough to divide out among all the boys." It was not surprising that the employes in the Navy Department should have *' j)ushed through " fraudulent claims, when they reflected that at the head of their establishment was a man who always regarded the Government in the light of a fat goose ready to be plucked. Folger, the head of the Treasury Department, was an imhecile, who knew no more about finances than he did about the mystic hieroglyphics that deck Palmyra's waste. Another unique character in Arthur's Cabinet is the oily-tongued Teller. This gentleman has displayed j)eculiar regard for the Shakespearian admouition, and, if reports are true, has put a great deal of money in his purse. To illustrate the thriftiness of this man, I will relate the following incident that occurred in 1882. One day an influential gentleman was approached by a poor female clerk in the office of the First Comptroller of the Treasury, who complained that her pay was about to be reduced because, on ac- count of sickness, she had been absent several hours during the mouth from her desk. The gentleman to whom she made this complaint told her that he felt sorry for her misfortunes, but that he could afford her no relief, because he supposed that her pay would be diminished in accordance with a general rule in the Troaimry. The woman insisted that such was not the case, and AKTHUU'.S ADMINISTKATION. 55 cited a number of clerks who frequently absented themselves for weeks and months without deduction from their salaries. She par- ticularly cited the case of the sister of Secretary Teller's wife's brother, an inmate of that public functionary's house, who had been permitted through Teller's influence to be absent from her desk for the long period of eighteen months, during which time she regularly drew her pay. The prominent gentleman above referred to was astonished, and lost no time in calling on Comptroller Knox, who sent for the record-books in his office with a view to ascertaining the truth or falsity of the woman's charge. Upon examination he found that the charge was true, and, furthermore, he stated that the privilege had been accorded the Teller kinswoman because of the command- ing influence of Secretary Teller. Here was a Cabinet officer drawing a salary of $8,000, with innumerable political irons in a multiplicity of jobbery fires, who was so parsimonious and mean that he was actually a party to a Government clerkess drawing a $1,200 salary for eighteen months, during which time she rendered no service, save to sign the vouchers for her pay. Is it surprising that this man Teller should be reputed to be engaged in land and Indian jobbery, when he evinced the inordinate love of money which characterized his action in forcing the appointment clerk of the Treasury to pay his kinswoman for eighteen months, the money for which presumably went into Teller's pockets, as she was an inmate of his house ? Teller's disgraceful action in this matter was called to the atten- tion of the then Postmaster-General, Howe, who denounced him in unmeasured terms, but expressed the hope that the matter would not get into the press, as " so contemptible a steal would be more damaging to Arthur's administration than the theft of a million of acres of land." Such are a few of the disgraceful antecedents of the man who contributed to the extent of his ability toward making Arthur's administration a stench in the nostrils of fair-minded people everywhere. This picture of Teller is not overdrawn, and those persons who may have misgivings as to its truthfulness can have it corroborated by addressing Mr. John J. Knox, at present an eminent financier in New York city. Frank Hatton I what shall I say of him ? Oh, ye gods and little 56 Arthur's administration. fishes I was ever so small a creature elevated to so responsible a trust ? Who but Arthur would ever have put such a fellow into a Cabinet ? The fact is that in three short j^ears Arthur succeeded admirably in disgracing the public service, and making trusts which had hitherto been regarded as honorable so degraded as to henceforth deter self-respecting men from occupjdng them. But the history of the Chicago Republican Convention proved that Brewster, Chandler, and Hatton were appointed for a design, which was no more nor less than a jDurpose to have them buy Arthur's nomination for the Presidency. Hatton was on the floor of the Convention, and gentlemen present declare that he and the man Evans, Commissioner of Internal Revenue, actually publicly bought votes for Arthur among the Southern delegations. Such disgraceful scenes were never before witnessed in a politi- cal or any other kind of a body. Hatton and Evans had blanks in their pockets, and they would fill them out unblushingly, thus conferring offices for votes for Arthur. They ate, slept, and drank wdth scurvy political ringsters of the " black-and-tan " order. The lobby of the Grand Pacific Hotel became noisy as the ne- gro politicians would cry out, "Come up, Hatton and Evans, and take a drink," &c. Of course, Hatton and Evans had to go through the motion of drinking, for, eke ye, the average South- ern political darkey puts on many airs when serving as a delegate to a National Convention, and he will brook no discourtesy, not even from an embryo Postmaster-General. One of Arthur's tools at Chicago was one Howard Carroll, who wended his way among the Southern delegates, telling them that the last one of them would lose his office who voted against Ar- thur. As nearly all the Southern delegates were office-holders.it is ■easily accounted for how Arthur got as many votes as he did in the Chicago Convention. But the country is to be congratulated upon the fact that it has seen the last of the fastidious Arthur. He was a veritable accident, who floated to the surface after a great civil commotion. He was the creature of Guiteau, whose crazed brain elevated him to the seat once honored by Washington, Jefferson, and Madison. He demeaned himself as President in a manner that might have been expected of one who acquired power at the muzzle of an assassin's j)istol. Farewell, Arthur, and if forever, why, then, 'tis all the better. CHAPTER XIII. THE AVEKAGE CONGKESSMAN. EPISODES AND FACTS KEQAEDING SOIVIE OF THE MEN WHO SIT IN THE LEGISLATIVE HALLS OF THE NATION. The position of a congressman is eminently a conspicuous and an honorable one. It is his province to speak and vote upon meas- ures touching the material prosperity of sixty millions of people. The safety and welfare of the Republic are practically in his keep- ing. He votes to make war and declare peace. Not a dollar can be taken from the Treasury without his consent. He is in reality the custodian of the nation's strong box, and as such he is greatly sought after and patronized by all who are interested in the fine art of plucking the national goose. Turgot, the wisest of French financiers, once likened taxation to the art of plucking a goose without making it cry, and those congressmen who are discreet, and do not "pluck" too hard, are re-elected again and again until some of them succeed in serving a score of years in the national councils. The average congressman is quite a different individual at home from what he "shows up " at Washington. The people of his dis- trict regard him as a sort of demi-god. He is honored there be- cause he is the only congressman in that district, on the same principle that the small boys and girls of the nation honor and re- vere Jumbo, because, forsooth, there is but one Jumbo in America. The average congressman has credit at home, and can purchase houses, lands, diamonds, or whatever he will with his jDromise to pay. Not so, however, in Washington, where the fact that an ap- plicant for credit is a member of Congress rather militates against his chances for getting it. There are over three hundred congressmen in Washington, and they are consequently as common as blackberries in June. The trades-people, from peanut venders up, pay no more attention to the average congressman than they would to a clerk in one of the Departments. Indeed a clerk can obtain credit from a merchant where a congressman cannot, for the simple reason that if the clerk 57 58 THE AVERAGE CONGKESSMAN. defaults in payment the head of his Department will force him to liquidate the debt or resign, while the congressman cannot even be sued during a session of Congress. I knew a United States Senator who allowed a wine bill to re- main unpaid for four years, which was only adjusted after the ex- piration of his term, and after his trunk had been attached. Dozens of congressmen change their residences every sixty or eighty days, as it is cheaper to move than to pay rent. But the gas companies, street railway lines, and all corporations w^hich obtain their charters from Congress are forced to treat congressmen with great consid- eration. The Washington Gaslight Company, by its exorbitant charges, always manages to keep money enough in its coffers to accommodate tha average congressman to a small loan. Many a congressman who would refuse a bribe direct will obtain a loan of $500 or $1,000 from a corporation for which no promise to pay is exacted. Of course the money is never refunded. To such an ex- tent is this peculiar congressional "influence" carried that hun- dreds of boarding-house keepers in Washington never pay a cent for gas, because the gas comj)any knows that they or their friends occasionally entertain congressmen. The average congressman, in consequence of his high rate of living, finds himself often finan- cially stranded. If he has exhausted all the facilities he had for *' bleeding " corporations he finally falls back on his appointees in the Departments, from each of whom he exacts from $20 to $50. When these resources are all exhausted he actually goes to a junk dealer and sells the congressional documents for waste paper which his confiding constituents at home are vainly longing for. There are some men in Congress who are not Josephs in any sense of the term. How astonished would be their constituents did they know the female company their members of Congress keep. How the fellow-citizens of a certain western congressman would lament did they know that it is a common thing for their repre- sentative to be sent to the station-house bj-^hiswdfe, lest he take her life during one of his "sprees !" Another member has been picked up on the streets so drunk that he could not be taken home with- out scandalizing his family. At his wife's request, he is always lodged at a station-house until he sleeps off his debauch. An East- ern U. S. Senator was often seen staggering on Pennsylvania avenue. THE AVERAGE CONGRE&SMAM. 59 to the amusement of sill the small boys in the vicinity. A million- aire Senator from one of the middle States has been known to live on champagne for weeks, declining other nourishment save what he found in Mumm's best. When reduced to such a sad plight that life would be almost extinct his friends would sit up with him and resort to the well-known " tapering off " process. But of all the nauseating characters who visit Washington the new member from the rural district takes the cake. He arrives in Washington under the delusive impression that he is as big a man here as he is at home. He stalks and swaggers through the hotels and public buildings as if he were a Vanderbilt. He wears a gaudy necktie, with unpolished boots, and coughs and expectorates at a furious rate. He pulls out his handkerchief and blows his nasal adornment so loudly that one imagines himself in the presence of an Ohio river boatman with his noisy fog-horn. He stalks up to the hotel clerk at Willard's or the Riggs House and engages the best room^ regardless of cost. At the end of the first week he is confronted by a bill for $100. Then his feathers droop like a wet barnyard fowl, and the next week we find him climbing two flights of stairs in a cheap boarding-house. After a residence in Washington of three months he becomes sensible of the fact that he is not an un- common individual, entitled to no more consideration than Smith, Jones, or Brown. Still there are some good, sensible men in Congress, a fact which the prosperity of the nation unquestionably attests. CHAPTER XIV. *' MY DEAR HUBBELL.' A FEW PACTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE MAN OF WHOM GARFIEIiD ITST- QUIRED, " HOW ARE BRADY AND THE DEPARTMENTS DOING ?" One of the most unique characters who figured at Washington during the past decade was Jay A. Hubbell, who represented a Michigan district in Congress, and was for four years president of the Republican Congressional Committee. It appears that Hubbell had the latter honor conferred upon him because he was the pos- sessor of valuable copper mines on Lake Michigan, thus enabling him, in the event of a dire extremity, to draw his checks for amounts large enough to save doubtful congressional districts to the Republican party. Hubbell was a good enough fellow in his way, but his experience as the head of that committee conclusively demonstrated that he was totally incompetent of performing the delicate duties of a political manager, and the numerous blunders he committed more than once made him the laughing-stock of the nation. He soon fell a prey to every journalistic sharper at the capital, who " bled " him unmercifully. He was constantly placing himself in the power of adventurous Bohemians, who accepted his cash as "hush money." Early in 1882 he employed one Bissell, the editor of a so-called Grand Army Journal, to " write up" and publish the political and moral delinquencies of Thos. W. Ferry, then a United States Senator from Michigan, and into whose shoes Hubbell was especially anx- ious to step. The aforesaid Bissell had long been a terror to weak- kneed ofl&cials. He was nominally a reporter on a Sunday paper, and having an aptitude for scandal-gathering, he succeeded in keeping many high officials on the ragged edge of despair lest he publish their moral shortcomings. For weeks and months during 1882 Bissell stalked through the Treasury corridors squirting to- bacco juice on the marble floors and brandishing a huge hickory club, which he designated his " cane." No less a personage than Secretary Windom was completely sub- dued by Bisseirs threats, and the Chief of the Secret Service was *' MY DEAR HUBBELL." Gl kept busy for weeks endeavoring to get Tip sufficient evidence to secure his arrest. What a commentary upon the Radical officials that for two years they permitted themselves to be terrorized by Bis- sell lest he publish facts which they knew would disgrace them I But pardon my digression. Bissell did the work so well that when his paper appeared the greatest consternation was produced in Radical circles. He boldly charged Ferry with every crime known to the moral and political decalogues. But he did not have prudence enough to conceal the fact that the article had been mainly dictated by Hubbell. This caused the latter great uneasiness, because he himself lived in a glass house of the most flimsy texture, and he knew not how soon Ferry's friends might turn their journalistic batteries upon it. Hubbell spent a week of the most abject misery, shutting himself up in the seclusion of his residence, trembling all the while like an aspen. In the meantime the election for senator came off at Lansing, when Hubbell's methods in the senatorial canvass were investigated by a legislative committee. The result of the contest was that both Hubbell and Ferry were remanded to the shades of obscurity, the former to his copper mines, and the latter to his shingle piles. It must have cost Hubbell at least $50,000 to defeat Ferry, a re- sult which might have been accomplished by an experienced poli- tician without the expenditure of a dollar. Hubbell made himself the laughing-stock of Congress by a blunder that he made in 1881. One day he walked up to Mr. Turner, of Kentucky, a Democrat, and addressed him as follows : Hubbell. "Really you must give me ^100 this morning for Lee Crandall, the editor of a Greenback paper. He is rendering the Republican party good service, and we must raise him .$2,000 be- fore Saturday night." Turner: "Lee Crandall, the devil. What in the deuce do I want to give him money for ? My name is Turner, and I am a Democrat." Hubbell vanished like he had been hit by a sledge-hammer^ having discovered his mistake in approaching Turner for a Wis- consin member. Turner lost no time in giving the affair away to the reporters, and for weeks Hubbell would take to his heels when- 62 "my dear hubbell." ever Lee Crandall's name was mentioned. But Crandall then found himself in a dilemma. His Greenback brethren grew jealous and suspicious lest he should sell out their organization to the Republican party. To set himself right he called a meeting of his party's leaders, and assured them that there was no truth in the story ; that it was naught biit a base conspiracy by the Radicals to ruin him ; that he never spoke to Hubbell in his life, and would not know him from the man in the moon. I infer that Mr. Cran- dall satisfied his Greenback auditors that he was not in HubbelPs .jjay, because he still edits his party's organ at Washiugton. "My dear Hubbell" still continued to raise money, however, and to afford liberal help to Crandall. Such was the fear that the fact would again get into print that he used the following precau- tion of communicating with Crandall. The affable Col. Cook was made the custodian for all moneys designed for Crandall. Cook would call on a leading publisher and hand him f 1,000, requesting a receipt therefor. "What am I to do with it?" the publisher would ask. " Don't say a word," Cook would rejoin, his teeth chattering with emotion; "just give me a receipt and pocket the money." Meanwhile some one would go to Crandall and report that this publisher had money for him, which we may well suppose he lost no time in possessing himself of. In the event of a con- gressional investigation, Hubbell, Cook, the publisher, and Cran- dall would have been able to depose that Hubbell never sent any money to Crandall, and that Crandall never received any monej^ from Hubbell. Such were the methods and characteristics of Hub- bell and his contemporaries. He was anything but an apt imitator of his old master, Zach. Chandler. Had Chandler been alive he v.'ould have excoriated Hubbell unmercifully for his numerous blunders as the titular head of the Republican Committee, on the same principle that the Spartans flogged their youth who carelessly rung the bells in the arena, not because they attempted to extract the purse from the suspended garment, but because they were so clumsy as to tingle the tintinnabulum. Certain it was that Hub- bell never appeared at his best unless he gave the alarm by tingling all the bells with which he came in contact. But I am unequal to the emergency of adequately portraying Hubbell and his various political makeshifts. "my DEAIt HUBBELL."' 69 He was a machine politician of the most dubious type. He despised the canting political hypocrite, and was a thorough ex- ponent of the theory that to the victors belong the spoils. In after years other Hubbells will be found to bleed Department clerks and other Government officials ; but it is to be hoped that they will be too discreet to repose confidence in Washington Bohemians, and to ask a member of the opposition party for $100 to help along the editor of a Greenback, or any other kind of a newspaper. CHAPTER XV. SO-CALLED CIVIL SERVICE REFORM. The howling, monumental fraud of the age is the civil service reform law, as executed by the so-called civil service commission- ers. The whole system is predicated upon hypocrisy and subter- fuge, and is a disgrace to the Federal statutes. The man who is responsible for the law was a sham of such glaring transparency that a discerning constituency wisely remanded him to the shades of private life. The fallacy of the sj'^stem is manifest when it is remembered that only the clerks drawing salaries of from $900 to $1,800 are included mthin its limits. The very men, above all others, who should not be examined (the clerks whose labors show prima facially whether or not they are competent) are subjected to examinations, while the chiefs of bureaus, their deputies, and chief clerks, and the throng of chiefs of divisions, postmasters, collectors of customs and internal revenue, with their chief clerks and depu- ties, are not subjected to examinations, and who, as a rule, are as ignorant as Kentucky mules. Therein lies the fallacy of the whole system. I know auditors, deputy auditors, chief clerks, and chiefs of divisions, who are placed at the head of intelligent clerks, and who are too pass upon the qualifications of those under them, that are so illiterate that they cannot write a dozen lines grammatically. Yet these ignoramuses draw large salaries, affect to be wise by keeping their mouths shut, and generally succeed in making them- selves the laughing-stock of all with whom they come in contact. The fact is that the foregoing favored classes are political "strikers," and have for that reason been favored by a most unjust and invid- ious law. To place a competent set of clerks under such igno- ramuses is as anomalous as it would be to send a valuable cargo to sea under well-trained sailors, with a "land-lubber" captain and master's mate. But what shall I say about the average postmaster of the country ? He is the quintescence of ignorance. He may understand the art of " silence," but certain it is that he has never mastered the first principles of "addition" and "division." The weekly statements of the accounts which they send in to the De- partment are the embodiment of ignorance. About one statement 64 SO-OAIiliED OIVIL SEBVIOE REFOKM. 66 in one hundred is correct in spelling and numerical computation. It is common for them to write "too" for two, and "foar" for four. One fellow actually addressed his letter to the ' ' Sixth Or- ditor," Another fellow wrote "Frank Hatting " for the name of Arthur's dapper little Postmaster-General. There are 60,000 of these ignoramuses scattered throughout the States, yet no orator on the floor of Congress, or no newspaper, has had the temerity to expose their asininity, simply because they might be able to defeat the election of a congressman or impair the circulation of a so- called organ. Perhaps no newspaper in the country has howled more lustily for "reform" in the civil service than the notorious New York Tribune, yet that paper has never had the courage to demand that a more intelligent set of men be placed in charge of the nation's post-offices. Then there is the money-order system of the Post-office Department. This large business is under the su- perintendency of a Scotchman of the name of MacDonald. This man may not have the wisdom of a Solomon, but he is sensible enough to know that at least nineteen-twentieths of the postmas- ters of the country should be instantly decapitated for "cause," the " cause " being their superlative ignorance. MacDonald has a troop of special agents of the money-order system under his con- trol, who travel hither and thither, under the special direction of an Arkansas carpet-bagger of the name of M, La Rue Hariison. The pruning-knife of reform cannot be too soon applied to these " leeches" and their arrogant chiefs, the aforesaid MacDonald and Harrison. I might dwell at greater length upon this prolific theme, but why discuss a matter so manifest to an intelligent public ? The last one of the " fossils " drawing large salaries should be made to " walk the plank." The people, at the polls, have declared that the ras- cals must go. Honest men, who rendered the Democratic party good and faithful service, and who are "faithful," " competent," and "honest," want their places. Let members of Congress refuse to pass appropriations for the civil service commissioners, thus permitting the bottom to drop out of the ignoble concern. Eaton & Co. have too good a thing of it to be permitted to longer remain where they are. They are naught but barriers in the way of worthy men getting office. "To the victors belong the spoils," and no 66 SO-CALLED CIVIL SERVICE BEFOEM. political party can exist which refuses to reward its followers. Those Government clerks who for years have been drawing large salaries should be dismissed, and their places given to others, who have waited, watched, and prayed for Democratic success. Cur- tis, Schurz & Co. may howl themselves hoarse in the interest of their pet tenets, but the sober-headed Democratic leaders will not rest satisfied until they have given an indefinite leave of absence to those who have so long fed at the public crib. There is, or should be, no aristocratic class in this country. It was never so designed by the founders of the Republic. An office-holding class is, pel' se, an aristocratic class, and should be eliminated as a dan- ger and a menace to our beneficent system. Mr. Cleveland need not attempt to run with the " Mugwump" hound and the Demo- cratic hare. In the end he would certainly find himself stranded high on the rock of failure. Let him give Schurz & Co. a gentle hint that their counsels are not desirable, and then shajje and pur- sue a course in keeping with the wishes of the masses who elevated him to the Presidency for the sole purpose of purifying the public service. Charles A. Dana's admonition, " Turn the rascals out,^^ should be so posted in the White House that wherever Mr. Cleve- land goes his vision can rest upon it. Not to obey that timely in- junction will be to invite and merit Democratic disaster in 1888. CHAPTER XVI. DUDLEY AND CALKINS. THE INSIDB HISTORY OF THE GUBEENATOBIAL CONTEST IN INDIANA IN 1884. The unpleasantness existing between the Montagues and Capu- lets in ancient Verona did not begin to equal in asperity the differ- ences lately existing between those Hoosier statesmen, Calkins and Dudley. Each of these embryo statesmen believed that Indiana pol- itics would go to the demnition pow-wows unless he was selected to bear aloft the gubernatorial standard in 1884. To that end they entered the arena early and desperately, each determined to defeat the other, regardless of the means employed. Dudley was con- fident thp.t,he had the "inside track," and, to make assurance doubly sure, he journeyed all the way to Augusta, Me., where he conferred with the " plumed knight," whose distinctive candidate he considered himself. It is known that Mr. Blaine favored Dud- ley's nomination, and he covertly aided him to the extent of his ability, always being guarded not to let his preference be generally known. Blaine felt that Dudley's strength consisted in his having lost a leg in the war, and he believed that as the gubernatorial nominee he would catch many Democratic soldiers' votes. It was a stunning surprise to Mr. Blaine when Calkins received the nom- ination, and from that hour he had no hope of carrying Indiana in the then approaching national contest. In April, 1884, Dudley played his last and his strongest card when he attempted to enlist the influence of the negro politicians in his behalf, because of the fact that Calkins, as chairman of the Committee on Privileges and Elections in the House, had opposed the seating of the con- testants Lee and Smalls, of South Carolina, in the Forty-seventh Congress. Dudley was daily closeted with Lee and politicians of the black-and-tan order, vainly endeavoring to devise means for Calkins' defeat. Dudley's plan of procedure was to have the colored politicians protest against the nomination of Calkins, and threaten that they would influence their race to *' knife him " if he attempted to run. To that end he employed the services of a bo DUDLEY AND CALKINS. Washington journalist to make a savage attack on Calkins in the New York Globe, charging him explicitly with having wantonly de- prived Lee of his seat in Congress, and with doing all he could to deny admission to Smalls. Through Dudley's instrumentality the article in the Globe was republished in all the Indiana papers . friendly to his interests, but it was of no avail, as Calkins defeated him in the convention nearly two to one. Defeated in his pet ambition, Dudley retired to his tent, Achilles like, and no one has had the temerity to charge that he did not do all in his power to defeat his party in Indiana at least. He would have liked to see Blaine carry that State, but, knowing that Blaine's success would mean that of his rival also, he prudently refrained from aiding the G. O. P. in any respect. It is an open secret in "Washington that negro politicians employed in the Pension Office were principally engaged, weeks before the election, in writing letters to the negroes in Indiana, urging them to vote against Calkins. How effective those letters were may be inferred from the fact that Calkins only re- ceived about 40 per cent, of the negro vote throughout the State. Mr. Vice-President-Elect Hendricks and those Democratic gen- tlemen who reaped a political harvest in Indiana in 1884 should not omit to tender their warmest thanks to Colonel Dudley for the splendid indirect service he rendered in securing a Democratic vic- tory in the Hoosier State. Dudley and Calkins both belong to the the rule-or-ruin class, and they contributed their mite toward giving the G. O. P. a respite from the domination of national af- fairs. As a matter of fact, Indiana is noted for the selfishness of its politicians. Tom Browne, now representing that State in Con- gress, is a fine type of Hoosier ingratitude. In 1878 he defeated Jiidge Holman for Congress through the efforts of a Washington journalist, but Browne never even had the decency to thank him for the service rendered. " To sum them up," as the lawyers say, Hoosierdom can boast of as uncouth and ignorant a set of men in Congress of the Kepublican persuasion as any State in the Union. They are always engaged in turmoil and strife with each other, illustrating most happily in the contest of 1884 the truth of the old saw, that where knaves fall out honest men come by their dues. CHAPTER XVII. OFFICIAL PATRONAGE. HOW IT HAS BEEN DISPENSED IN THE SEVERAL DEPARTMENTS AND BUBEAUS AT THE FEDEEAL, CAPITAIi. The Jeffersonian prerequisite for holding office, to wit : "Is he competent, is he faithful, is he honest," has long since been con- signed to where Shakespeare does physic, " to the dogs^ Ever since Jim Buchanan's time, at least, merit has counted for naught, and offices have been bestowed for political service, past and pros- pective, but principally "prospective." To such an extent had the system of rewarding party service been carried under Grant s administration, that the habit of employing spies in the Depart- ments to report upon the political status of clerks and other em- ployes was resorted to, and every man and woman who was sus- pected of sympathizing with the Democracy were summarily " bounced," and their places conferred upon those who had potent Republican congressional influence. At the head of these spies was an old man named Edmonds, for a long time postmaster of Washington city, and a person of the name of John Stiles, who hailed from one of the British Provinces in North America. These men were especially desirous of ridding the Departmental service of Southern appointees, whom they xe- gskided priTna facialli/ as Democrats. Young men and women who had joined the Republican party at the beginning of the recon- struction era, and had rendered faithful party service, thus incurr- ing the bitter hostility of Southern Democrats, found themselves between the upper and nether stones of oppression as they were forced to withstand the assaults of Edmonds, Stiles & Co., supple- mented by the efforts of Lamar, Hampton, Gordon & Co. to secure their dismissal from the public service. Between 1874 and 1877 no Southern man or woman felt safe in the Departments, and dozens of them were dismissed the service for no cause save that thej'- were from the South. This rule did not apply to distinguished ex- rebels, for Grant persisted in holding Longstreet, McLaws, and Mosby in prominent positions in their respective States, on the ground that they were his personal friends. One of the " strikers " 69 70 OFFICIAL PATRONAGE. employed by Edmonds and Stiles to ferret out Democrats in the Departments was an unprincipled adventurer of the name of Rockafellow, one of the carpet-bag genus who had alighted upon the soil of Georgia after the smoke of battle had cleared away. This scamp soon came to grief, as he attempted to levy blackmail upon his victims, which resulted in his arrest and subsequent flight from Washington. After Rockaf ellow's flight his place was taken by another blather- skite from Georgia, of the euphonious cognomen of " Skowhegan Bryant." But when Hayes entered the White House these scurvy characters were all remanded to the shades of private life, and the poor Southern employes were permitted to live in peace. Edmonds was dismissed from the City Post-office, and Stiles was relegated to the shades of Nova Scotia, there to ruminate uj)on the insecurity of official life. If a correct roster of the Departments and the Bureau of Engraving and Printing was prepared, it would be seen that nearly all the lewd women in those establishments were ap- pointed on the "influence" of leading newspaper men. These journalistic Blue Beards have long held undisputed sway as black- mailers at the Federal Capital. They represent so-called leading metropolitan journals, and by open threats of attacking public officials they succeed in foisting all the disreputable women they see fit into the best places in the Departments. Some of these whited sepulchres have pews in fashionable churches, and ride in fine carriages, attending all the society gatherings, but their nights are often spent in the lowest haunts of vice. When these lines come to their notice the guilty scamps may easily be pointed out by the venomous attacks which they will make through their journals upon our author. President Cleveland should lose no time in ap- plying a bran-new broom to the Bureau of Engraving and Print. ing, as the officers in charge of that establishment have prostituted their high trust in the interest of libidinous newspaper men to a greater extent than any other officials at the Federal Capital. The man Sullivan, practically the head of that unsavory caravansary, is generally disliked by those under him, because of his tj^rannical treatment of them. While he fawns upon those possessing influ- ance, he frowns upon all who are not supported by a priest or a con- gressman. OFFICIAL. PATBONAOE. 71 If the administration is desirous of informing itself as to the thoroughly disreputable antecedents of many high officials, let it send to Erie, Pa., for Col. Simon Bolivar Benson, an ex-chief of the Secret Service Division, who is thoroughly posted on all " the ways that are dark" that have so largely contributed to make Washing- ton the moral pest-house of the nation. The subject is so varied and the facts so numerous that I dare not trust my pen to recount them, but I turn the " moral lepers in the Washington Departments over to the tender mercies of Col. Benson and others, who will doubtless be on hand to aid in the purification of the public service. It was meet that there should be a change in the administration. The Kepublican party was unequal to the emergency of purify- ing the public service, and purging itself of the scoundrels who strode as confidently upon its prostrate form as did the old man of the sea upon the back of Sinbad the Sailor. The vampires have, for lo these twenty-four years, been bleeding the nation, and far- ing sumptuously everj' day at the Federal feed trough. It is now quite time that they should be given a period of repose, and permit their places to be filled by a hiingrier, but less dishonest set. Some of these fellows will howl piteously and swear that their places cannot be filled ; that they are experts in their line, and moreover that they have always been good Democrats. Of this class the most illustrious exemplar will be Henry A. Lockwood, Deputy Commis- sioner of Customs, who is reputed to be rich, and if he was not a veritable leech he would have the decency to retire of his own volition, without necessitating the application of the toe of a stiS" Executive boot to his west end. But I opine that Mr. Cleveland will not need incentives to induce him to purify the public service, as it is manifest that the Nation expects him to do his whole duty in cleaning out the Augean stables at the Federal Capital. CHAPTER XVin. •'LO! THE POOR INDIANS." HOW THEY HAVE BEEN ROBBED BY RASOAIiliT AGENTS AND HIGH OFFICIALS. The treatment of the American Indians by the army of scoim_ (Irels and thieves who have waxed rich by peculations upon moneys appropriated for their amelioration is a disgrace to the age, and loudly calls for redress by Mr, Cleveland's administration. The whited sepulchres who have been at the head of Indian affairs very soon reduced the art of robbing poor Lo down to perfection. It really appears that, for many years, those in charge of the interests of these simple children of the forest considered it their duty to place over them the most expert and unscrupulous thieves that Yankeedom could produce. On the theory that "the best Indian is the dead Indian," the ignoble army of Indian agents have de- spoiled them of all they could lay hands on. Who knows but that the Great Ruler of the Universe at last heard the silent prayers of these simple children of nature, and determined to hurl from power the Illiad of their woes — the Radical party ? It is surt prising when we contemplate the number and prominence of the apologists and defenders of these thieving Indian agents. Some of them clairu to be religionists, and will unblushingly tell you that the Indian receives no worse treatment than he deserves ; that he has misapplied the talents given him by the Great Father, and in consequence thereof he should be robbed of the little that he hath. Not a thieving agent, or a dishonest Secretary of the Department of the Interior, or an unscrupulous land robber, but who salves over his seared conscience by comparing the poor Indian to the unfaithful steward so graphically described in the parable. In 1856 the hope of the Democratic party lay in a divided oppo- sition. Dick Thompson was a leader of the recalcitrant faction that supported Fillmore, and thus made sure the defeat of Fremont and the election of Buchanan. Indiana was then, as now, a close State. The Democratic leaders bargained with Thompson to put a Fillmore electoral ticket in the field in Indiana. He did it, and **I.o! THE POOK IKDIANH." 73 Buck and Breck. carried the State by a phu'ality. The Republi- cans knew that Dick Thompson had been bought, but did not dream that the poor Indians were to be compelled to pay the price of his treason to the party of freedom and justice. Thompson had a bogus claim, for pretended services as attorney, against the Me- nominee Indians. The Commissioner of Indian Affairs, Hon. Geo. W. Manypenny, a Democrat, had investigated this claim and had found it to be fraudulent. The Menominees said Thompson had never been their attorney, but had been attorney against them, and had helped certain parties to cheat them out of a large sum. The Commissioner therefore refiised to endorse the claim of Thompson, but recommended that it be not allowed. Just four weeks, to a day, after Buchanan took his seat as President, Thompson got from the United States Treasury $43,000 of money held in trust for the Menominee Indians. This money was paid to him by Howell Cobb, Secretary of the Treasury, on the opinion of Jeremiah Black, At- torney-General, without the consent or knowledge of the Commis- sioner of Indian Affairs. Col. Manypenny had been continued in office as Commissioner up to this time, but on learning of this in- famous outrage upon the Menominees, and gross insult to him as the head of the Indian Bureau, he at once sent his resignation to the President, accompanied by a letter in which he characterized the swindle in proper terms. This letter was published in the daily papei-s, and Thompson, feeling that he must make a show of resent- ing the terrible charge against himself, had Manypenny arrested for malicious libel. He did not prosecute the case, but let it go out of court by default. This is the same Thompson who was Secretary of the Navy under Hayes. He is a good specimen oi the latter-day Republican politicians, most of whom opposed the party in its infancy, and only came into it to divide the spoils aftoi it had achieved success, despite their opposition, through the hon- est efforts of self-sacrificiug men. grant's QUAKER POLICY WHY IT FAILED. The Quakers have always been friends of the Indians. William Penn set the example of treating them kindly and justly, and his- policy proved successful ; so the Quakers as a sect have ever since maintained that if the Indians were treated junMy Tn