onnaan TNESS PS 635 .29 G558 Copy 1 in filling all oraers is always a feature of our business. Catalogues sent free. Any Play, Dialogue Book, Speaker, Guide Book, AVigs and Beards,— in fact anything you Arant A. D. AMES, Dramatic Publisher Clyde, Ohio. ^^3 AMES' SERIES OF NDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, Y^u^^ NO. 216. ,Z5G^ ?,^8- — V ERSA. «:f a p— "* '^ IS* {ETHIOPIAN FARCE) WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COS- TUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAREFULLY MARKED FROM THE MOST APPROVED ACT- ING COPY. sa i i » IS It. IS- i PRICE 15 CENTS. A. D. CLYDE, OHIO: AMES, PUBLISHER. ®^'»?»{«J®®W®\5) CQ ^, No goods sent C. O. D. Payment MUST'accompany all orders. ALPHABETICAL LIST OF Ames' Edition of Plays. FIFTEEN CENTS EACH UNLESS OTHERWISE MARKED. NO. M P DRAMAS. 2 A Desperate Game 3 -2 164 After Ten Years 7 5 39 A Life's Revenge 7 5 43 Arrah de Baiigh 7 5 100 Aurora Floyd 7 3 125 Auld Robin Gray 25c 13 3 89 Beauty of Lyons 11 2 113 Bill Detrick 6 4 14 Brigands of Calabria 6 1 160 Conn; or Love's Victory 11 3 161 Dora 5 2 60 Driven to the AVall 10 3 152 Driven from Home 7 4 173 East Lynne 7 6 143 Emigrant's Daughter 8 3 176 Factory Girl 6 3 162 Fielding Manor 9 6 117 Hal Hazard, 25c 8 3 207 Heroic Dutchman of '76 8 3 52 Henry Granden 11 8 76 How He Did It 3 2 141 Hidden Treasures 4 2 26 Hunter of the Alps 9 4 191 Hid.ienHand 10 6 194 Lights and Shadows of the Great Rebellion 25 cts ]0 5 3 Lady of Lyons 12 5 9 Lady Audley's Secret 6 4 46 Man and Wife 12 7 211 Midnight Mistake 6 2 163 Miriam's Crime 5 2 91 Michael Erie 8 3 36 Miller of Derwent Abater 5 2 34 Mistletoe Bough 7 3 81 Old Phil's Birthdav 5 2 85 Outcast's Wife 12 3 83 Ou on the World 5 4 196 Oith Bound 5 3 29 Painter of Ghent 5 2 18 PoaCier's Doom 8 3 110 Reverses 12 6 45 Rock Allen 5 3 79 Spy of Atlanta, 25 cts 14 3 144 Thekla 6 7 67 The False Fr end 6 1 97 The Fatal Blow ..7 1 119 The Fortv-Niners 10 4 93 The Gentleman in Black 9 4 112 The New Magdalen 8 3 71 The RcAvard of Crime 5 3 105 Through Snow and Sunshine. 6 4 7 The Vow of the Ornani 8 1 201 Ticket of Leave Man 9 3 193 Toodles 6 2 200 Uncle Toms Cabin 15 7 121 AVill-o'-the-Wisp 9 4 41 Won at Last 7 3 192 Zion 7 4 TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 73 At Last 7 1 75 Adrift 6 4 187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 7 3 NO. J, I. 202 Drunkard [The] 13 5 180 Drunkard's Warning 6 3 189 Drunkard's Doom 15 5 181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- ard's Life 10 4 Fruit-i of the AVine Cup 6 4 Lost 6 2 Our Awful Aunt 4 4 Out in the Streets 6 4 Rescued 5 3 Saved 2 3 Turn of the Tide 7 4 Three Glasses a Dav 4 2 Ten Nights in Bar-Room 7 3 AA^'recked 9 3 COMEDIES. A Pleasure Trip 7 3 A Legal Holidav 5 3 An Afflicted Family 7 5 Caste 5 3 Home.. 4 3 Love s Labor Not Lost 3 3 New Years in N, Y.. . 7 6 Not So Bad After All 6 5 Our Daughters 8 .6 Passions 8 4 The Biter Bit 5 2 TRAGEDIES. The Serf C, 3 FARCES AND COMEDIETTAS. j 129 Aar-u-ag-oos 2 1 Actor and Servant 2 A Capital Match 3 2 A Texan Mother-in-Law 4 2 ' A Day AV ell Spent 7 5 A Regular Fix ; 5 4 Alarmingly Su.>-picious 4 3 An Awful Ciiuiinal 3 3 An Unwelcome Return 3 1 A Pet of the Public 4 2 A Romuitic Attachment 3 3 i A Thrilling Item 3 1 1 A T cket of Leave 3 2 ' Betsey Baker 2 2 Better Half » 5 2 1 86 Black vs AVhite 4 2 ' 22 Captain Smith 3 3 84 Cheek AVill AVin 3 49 Der Two Surprises 1 1 72 Deuce is in Him :.. 5 1 19 Did I Dream it 4 3 42 Domestic Felicity 1 1 188 Dutch Prize Fighter 3 148 Eh? AVhat Did You Say 3 1 154 Fun in a Post oTi ice 4 2 184 Family Discipline 1 209 Goose with the (iolden Eggs.. 5 3 13 (jive Me Mv \Vife 3 3 66 Hans, the Dutch J.P 3 1 116 Hash 4 2 120 II. M.S. Plum 1 1 183 104 146 53 51 59 102 63 62 58 168 136 124 178 199 174 149 37 126 114 87 16 132 12 166 30 1C.9 80 78 •65 31 21 123 20 175 .8 VICE VERSA A FARCE, IN ONE ACT, -BY . L, &LENN. WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OF CHARACTEKS RELiVriVE POSITIONS, ETC. PRINTED FROM THE AUTHOR'S ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT. H .oOo-4-?>-.<;:>.' Entered accordinn to act of Covf/ress in the year 1887, by A. I). AMES, in the office of the Lihrarian of Conaic>i>i at Wa-^hingfon, f -CLYDE, OHIO!- A. B. AMES, PUBLISHER. \ VICE VERSA. , r ^ CHARACTERS. GEO. PHILLIPS Editor of a Country Paper CH AS. BROWN Manager of a Country Paper OLD NEGRO WOMAN Evidently on her 3Iuscl JAKEY Her Son SCENE— AN EDITOR'S OFFICE. COSTUMES— MODERN. TIME OF PERFORMANCE -THIRTY MINUTES. VICE VERSA, SCENE. *--.4n Editor^s Private Office — Two chalvi, a icriting dealc, with paper, ink, etc. Enter Editor, r., loho takes a seat and begins writinxj. Enter Jakey, L., stumbles over chair and falls on Editor's desk. Editor. You black imp, what do you mean by coming into my house in such a way? Jakey. Dat's a miglity foolish question for as bright a loolvin' old humpback as you is, to ask. Ed. Look here, young man, mind how you talk. Now what brought you here? Jakey. (A;('cA's Editor) Dat's what brought me here? Ed. (seizes him) You black imp, yon, what do you mean by coming into my house .and acting in such a manner as this? I'll have you arrested at once. Jakey. Yes, dat would be a nice Avay to use a pusson dat was sent here to see you on patticMar business, wouldn't it? Ed. ''Business?" Now I ask you once more wliat you came here for. If you have business let it be known at once. What did you come here for ? Jakey. O, nuffin', I reckon. Ed. You just now said you was sent here on particular busi- ness. Now" what is that particular business? Jakey. Yes, yes, dat's it, boss; you struck it without me telling you. Ed. Why you impudent nigger, you. What do you mean? Are you crazy ? Jakey. Look here, w^hite man, don't you hint such a thing as that agin' or I will smack you flat down. ^Ed. (rushes at hijn) Now you little black rascal, you shall get out of this office or I'll pound your head off your body, you black hound you. (takes hold of him) Are you going to get out of this office? Jakey. What more right has you got to stay here than I has, or any other 'spectable pusson of liigii color? Ed. Sir ! I'll give you to iinclerstancl that this is my house, aiif that I have a perfect ri,2;ht to pat any one out that is not fit to stay inside of a i:)ig-pen. Jakey. \Vell den, boss, gness you had better push vonrself out fust. Ed. {starts to push him out) Get out of here. Jakey. (pulls (Ait a big revolver) Boss, don't come where you has got no 'vitntion, or you miglit get de wions; kuid of a 'cei^tion. I gives you to under>t 'ud d:it I's no fool if I do liappen to stand and talk with an idiot lilvc 3'ou is. (Editor moves towards him — Jake puts revolver to his head) Don't you come any closer. I tell you I'll blow ycr brainless bead L']enn oll'n yer shoulders, sure. (keeps running back) Don't you come, I tole you. {starts and runs around the stage — EDiToii./'o//o?r6' him with clinched fist — Jake snaps revolver at him) Look out, boss, next time slie'U go off sho and certain. {cocks revolver at him) Don't you come I. tole you. {runs L\l. (grabs him and shoves him out <>f roinn ivitJi a kick, L.) N'ow don't you ever come back here again or I'll do you worse than that next time. " • Jake, {outside) You'll hear from this sho. JEd. It does look really .shameful to have too kick a boy around in that kind of a manner, but 1 am a man that never coukl take much from a saucy younii' boy, and more especially from a nig- ger. I ought to have knocked him do\yn and then stamped him un- til he could hardly live. I swear by the living Enter Old Negro Womax, l. Old W. Is you de proprietor ob dis ofhce? Ed. Yes, is there something T can do for j'ou ? Old W. No, sah ! but dar's somethin' I can do for you, an' Fs go- in' to be after doin' it, too, for sure. Ed. Well, madam, if you think you are capable of doing any- thing for me, especially anything that will do meanj^ good, .Hist pro- ceed with 3^our work. "^ * " Old W. You just bet your old life it '11 do you good so much dat you won't want to kick many more little iniiccont boys out'n your office, and especially a real nice little colored boy, of high breedin'. Ed. If I understand you plainly, you are alluding'to that little black rascal of a negro imp that came in hei-e and began throwing his sauce at me — drew a revolver on me, and would have shot me if it had not been for the thing missing fire. Old W. Yes, dat's Avhatl ^vas preludin' to. Ed. If that is it, I guess that you might make use of that door there. Old W. Which door? Ed. That one. (points l.) Do you see it? Old TF. Yes, sah, I see de door— what 'bout it? Ed. There is nothing about it, only I said I wanted you to make use of it, and that is precisely what I meant. Old W. I kin just mighty quick make use of it, if I get in a no- tion, to. Ed. Notion or no notion, I said for von to make use of that ClGor, and I want you to get a move on yourself. y Old W. If dat's what you want me to do, guess I can mighty 4^y_i®gk^useofit. '° °^V VICM VEBSA. ^ Ed. Well, move. I don't want to have to say another word to you, if vou don't make a start I will start you myself. Old ^V. All right, sah, I'll make us3 of it at once. {takes him by the hair and drags him to the door and flings him out) Guess he knows by dis time dat I can make use of a door wlien 1 take a notion to. Goes to table and picks up a few things, rolls them up in handkerchief and exits. Enter Chas. Brown, l. Chas. Hello, guess Mr. Philips is not at home. Looks as though he hadn't been 'here for a week, by the way everything is strewn around the room. {takes a seat) I'll wait a while and he'll make his appearance. {hears groans outside of door) V/hat's that? Sounds like the old fellow's voice. {groans again) Yes, sure as I live that's the old man's voice. I will step out and see what's the matter. {goes to door and sees the Editor) Why, George, what does all this mean? {bring:; him in and seats him in chair Ed. I have been brutally assaulted, uiost brutally assaulted, with intent to kill. Chas. I am surprised. Why, who was it, George? Ed. A black rascal of a nigger boy came here and gave me some of his lip, and 1 liied him olit. Shortly after his mother came in and dragged me out by t!ie hair, and gave me several hard kicks and blows. Chas. Well, I do declare, it's a real shame. Did you recognize the brutes? Ed. Oh, yes. Have you publisheil your paper for to-day j^et? Chas. Xo, I just stepped out to catch a few items to fill up what blank space 1 had. t will sit down and write it up. {siis doicn at table Ed. Just write a note to the police head(iuarters, and have an officer sent here at once. I'll see if I can't be protected in my own house. Chas. All right, George, I'll do it. {vn-ites note and reads To Police Headquarters: I have been brutally assaulte 1— u itii intent to kill, and you will please slmkI an officer here at once and arrest the villains. I have them spotted. Yours Kespectndiy, Geo. TniLiPS, Managing Editor. Chas. Well, I will now go down and have an account of this printed, and will also find a boy and have this delivered to head- quarters. Ed. All right; I hope they will send a man at once, for I am anxious to see. them pay their fine for such -work as this. Chas. That's me, and I hope it will learn them a lesson. ( Exit, R. Enter Old Woman and Jakey, l. Ed. What have you two rogues come back here for? Do you in- tend to murder me this time? Old W. 2so, sah, we don't believe in killing people 'cause dey is a little crazy. We is goia' to send you off to de asylum. e ^. - VICE VFBSA. Ed. I will be compelled to have you both arrested if you don't quit my house. Please step out and don't show yourselves again. Old W. Yes, we'll see who steps out. Git yourself up and put dis dress on. Ed. Madam, I don't and cannot understand what you mean. What shall I put this dress on for? Old W. Don't ask any questions. Git up from dat chair and slip dis dress ober your head, {gets dress ready) Is you goin' to move? Ed. I shall not put any dress on, you may just understand that. Old W. Jakey, just set dat disolver to his head, and we'll see who's skinin' dis cat. Ed. Madam, I forbid you staying in this house another minute — get out at once. Old W. Now, den, put dis dress on or I'll make him blow your head oft'. Ed. I will not do anything of the kind. Old W. Jakcy, pull dat trigger jist a little bit harder. (Jakey gets a fooling ivitk the pistol and pulls a little hard on the trigger and it goes off in the air) Ed. If you are going to kill me say so, and be done with it. Old W. Well, dat's just what we will do for you if you don't put dis dress on. Put dis dress on now or I'll crack your head for you. (Editor jvH^s dress on and stands glaring at the audience Ed. Oil! oh! {groans Old W. Now black dat face ob yours and den we'll let you be. Ed. I will not black my face. Old W. I guess I can do it better anyhov/. Jakey, keep a straight pull on him, and if he moves an inch just gib him de contents ob every barrel. She goes to loork and blacks hiin, and then puts a large bonnet on his head, and ties his hands together — continues talking while she is do- ing this. Old W. Now, Jakey, watch him while I go and get a man's suit. {Exit, L. Jake. Wliat will yer gib me to turn you loose and take them things often you, boss? Ed. I will give you most anything you ask. Jake. How^much money would you gib me? Ed. Just any amount you say. Jake. I'll take twenty — no, 1 will take fifty dollars. Ed. I will give it to you as soon as you will undo my hands and let me get to it. Jake^. Now lookee heah, boss, is you lyin' 'bout dis matter or does yer mean what yer says. Ed. I ni i just every word I say. Do you think that fair. Jake. ^^ I .. dat looks like it's fair enough for any gentleman. Ed. Well, sir, if you think it's fair enough why don't you turn me loose, so I can get you your fifty dollars. Jake. Just tell nie where you keep it at, boss, so I can get it and save you the trouble. Ed. No, you couldn't get it, it's in the safe and you don't know an3'thing about the combination. Just let me loose and have the use of ni}' hands and I'll get it for you in a very few seconds. Jake. I'b kinder 'fraid ter trust you, boss — 'fraid you'll run off. VICE VEBSA, 1 Ed, If 1 run off I'll give you my whole fortune. Now let me have the use of my hands and you shall soon have your fifty dollars. Jake. Well now, boss, if you will swar dat you will not run off without givin' me de money, I'll let yer loose, hut if jow make de least kind of a break, down comes yer carcass. Ed, Well, sir, I give you my word and honor I will do just what I said. JaTce. Heah goes den. (btghis untying his hands) Look heah, boss, sure as yer run away I'll kill you in your tracks, (sets him loose) Now den git dat money and yer can go. (gets revolver Ed. All right, as soon as I get this key out of the drawer, {opens drawer in table and gets out a revolver, cocks it and levels at negro) Now, you black scoundrel, you, give me that revolver and then you skip from this office. Be quick, or I'll shoot your black head off. tlaJce, Look heah, massa; good mnssa, what did you promise me fore I got yer loose ? Ed. It don't make any difference. You give me that revolver and take a skip. Do you hear? (goes towards him icith drawn revolver Jake. Look out, boss, I's goin' to shoot, I can't stand dis any longer. Took yourself back or I'll kill yev off. Ed. Yes, we'll see who does the shootnig. (raises revolver to his head) Now hand me that pistol. Jake. Boss, I don't want to gib dis up, 'cause it's de only one I got. Ed. You can either give it up or take th Enter Old Woman, in man^s costiime, l. Old W. Or he will do what'?( grabs his pistol — levels on Editor Ed. Dear man, don't point thut at me, for it is loaded and ready to go off'. Old W. Now you set yourself down and have your hands tied, and don't you move tlie least bit or I'll crack your head wid dis dis- olver. Jake, (ties his hands) Now, den, I guess you won't fool me any more. Enter Policemax, k. Policeman. Where is thnt crazy woman that was making all the trouble down here? Old W. Dar she am. De massa jist left a miiuite ago, and tole me for to watch her, an' when you come hab you to to took her off". Policeman. ^^\']], I'll take charge of you — come along. Ed. No, sir. I dou'tgo with yon. There sits Old W. Don't let her talk, it makes her wild to talk. Just draw a disolver on her and she'll go right along. I will help you, boss, (pulls revolver Policeman, (draws revolver on her) Now, madam, you march along or I will put a hole through you, and that pretty soon too, for I have no time to fool with you. Come on, I say. Ed. I will not come, for I am the man that Policeman. Shut up and come on. Takes him by the hand and drags him otit, while he is fighting and squalling. Old W. and Jake dance round stage as the Curtain Falls, THE END. PLEASE GIVE THIS CAREFUL ATTENTION. To prevent the possibility of disappointment to our patrons, "we ask a careful pe- usal of the following. Hr^\U TO r^iRr^FR write your orders in as few words as possible, \y \y L KJ vy iv L^ J-^ iv . j^^^^l „• ^,g plaif^ly tiio names of the plays, books, music or articles you Avish, and do not forget to give your name, and postoffice address in every letter. Also state the amount of money enclosed. 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'JSSf PO ^T A O F '-i^f^ A M P ^ Stamps clean and ncAV of any denomination i^ yy5 147 155 FARCES CONTINUED. How Sister Paxey got her Child Baptiz?d How She has Own Way How He Popped the Qiiest'n. How to Tame M-in-Law How Stout Vour Getting In the Wrong Box In the Wrong Clothes John Smith Jumbo Jum Killing T'me Kittie's Wedding Cake Lick Skillet Wedding Lodgings for Two.... ISIatrimonial Bliss Mother's Fool Mr. and Mrs. Pringle Mr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt My Heart's in Highlands ^ y Pree'ous Betsey My Turn Next M Wife's Relations ]\Iy Day and Now-a-Days Obedience On the Sly Paddy Miles' Boy Persecuted Dutchman P()()r Pilicody Quiet Family Kough Diamond Hippies Schuaps Sewing Circle of Period S. H. A. M. Pinafore.. Somebody's Nobody Taking the Census Thit Mysterious B'dle Tne Bewitched Closet The Cigarette The Coming Man Turn Him Out The Sham Professor The Two T. J's Thirty-three Next Birthday- Tit for Tat Vermont Wool Dealer Wanted a Husband When Womaif Weep AVooing Under Difficulties Which Avill he Marry Widower's Trials Waking Him Up Why they Joined the Re- beccas M F XO M F 111 Yankee Duelist 2 2 157 Ya kee Peddler 7 3 ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 204 Academy of Stars 6 j 15 An Unhappv Pair 1 1 172 Black Shoemaker 4 2 98 Black Statue 3 2 214 Chops 3 145 Cuff's Luck 2 1 190 Crimps Trip 5 27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 153 Haunted House 2 24 Handy^Andy 2 77 Joe's Vis t ; 2 1 88 M schievous Nigger 4 2 128 Musical Darkey 2 90 No Cure No Pay 3 1 61 Not as Deaf as He Seems 2 150 OldPompey 1 1 109 Other People's Children 3 2 134 Pomp's Pranks 2 177 Quarrel.- ome Servants 3 96 Rooms to Let , 2 1 107 School 5 133 Seeing Besting 3 179 Sham Doctor 3 3 94 16,000 Years Ago 3 25 Sport with a Sportsman 2 92 Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down 2 64 Tliat Boy Sam 3 1 122 The Select School 5 118 The Popcorn Man 3 1 6 The Studio 3 108 Those Awful Boys 5 4 Twain's Dodging 3 1 197 Tricks 6 2 198 Uncle Jeff 5 2 176 U. S. Mail 2 2 216 Vice Versa 4 206 Villkens and Dinah 4 1 210 Virginia Mummy 6 1 203 AVho Stole the Chickens 2 205 William Tell 4 156 Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 GUIDE BOOKS. 17 Hints on Elocution 130 Hints to Amateurs CANTATA. 215 On to Victory (with chorus) 25 cents 3 7 4 s:^ 1 ^ OTHER POPULAR PLAYS WILL BE RAPIDLY ADDED TO THIS LIST. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS ^ NEW PLAYS! PRICE 15 Unio uJln!^ * 200. Uncle Tom's Cabin. A domestic drama from Mrs. Stowe's cele- brated novel, by