.C73 ■^ I ■^c^ / /- ^ ^ 'y^'^-A:c RECONSTRUCTION oisr a <\. ^mi s ♦ 11 ♦ OR. IXS AUTHOR AT THt CONFESSIONAL. u-i: ZPJDEKIAH COMITATUS, M. P. E. C RECONSTRUCTION MY POLICY;" Jts l^utbor at the Confessional, ZEDEKIAII I,^()M1TATUS, M. P. E. C. SK ag(;ad1).viiun k-. riC^]SrTL,E"\VOOI5, TIMBERLAKE & CO., rrhilern to the ''North liiver Society." 1 S G (j . i A 6150S »05 1^ No Alas ! alas ! what I've endured In reconstructing on the scheme Of Davis, Weed and Mister Seward, Would make the devil's angels scream ! II. When I w^ent forth, with flying flags, The other day, to lay a stone, PursuVl hy " rift-raft^ and rag-shags," Like dogs contending for a bone, 3 I thoilo-Jif u -^ Among tl,e people '" ^ '"'^ > P"J <-3 , I.ut, how surpiisino. III. ^ I-dW^ toM, before I started, " i Init spote oy only 1 ; solely disappointed Il^at pardons, massacres and riot I>-ot restore the States di.^oi„tld A"^-!^e the e,an,,.ons people .;niet. w At Phdadeiphia, Mack Michael Nor came, nor sent his deputy ^V.th oysters, grog, segars and ale, To toady, or to welcome me ! iet those, who were most amorous Of ofhce, came to do me honor; And had they been less clamoron; I had not wfehed to leave them Sooner 1 made a speech, and left a fee. Wrth all the stars ablazino.:' But stagger'd off, with sucli a jag, Tliat all the bovs were trazino- ! New Jersey, through, I cut in two, " Half-cut," or " half-seas over ;" While Seward, too, had got so " blue," We thouo;ht ourselves " in clover." " Joliu Gilpin-like," we ran the coui'se, With railroad speed, or faster, Suppos'd to he, (by the " iron horse"). The devil and his schyster ! Such clouds of dust and shouts of men, Of women, boys and children. And howling dogs, were never seen Or heard this side of Bedlam ! It seem'd as if New Jersey knew. With " Tin- Pot" tagging after. As well as (rrant, how drunk or " blue" Were Seward and his master. Such an " uprising" ne'er before Was ever seen or heard on, Since Babylon's licentious w^hore Triumphxl beyond the Jordan ! VI. Ill New York, where they l)awrd the loudest, Or rais'd, by far, the greatest yell ; Where Seward seem'd to feel tlie proudest, And di-ank the health of Richard Schell ; Where Gen'ral Sanford, cap-a-pie, With fife and drum, escorted me Through filthy streets, and howling mobs, To view th' astounding " city jobs ;" Where quiet Grant and Farragut, With patience, smok'd along the I'ut, Receiving long and loud huzzas, Foi" their brave conduct in the wars ; Where " shoddy men" and gamblers met, With jVIorrlssey to clear the ring ; So I, without an overset. Could, stagg'ring " round the cii^cle, saving," Diffusing flags, vnth thirty-six Tremendous bright or l:)laziug stars. To " all mankind," and Gen'ral Dix, The god of ofiice and of wars ; Where Roberts, Law and Yanderbilt, From steamboat plunder " shell'd the glldt ;" And Stewart, Astor, Brown tfe Co., Drew checks to pay Delmonico, Wlio had prepared a monster feast, To " entertain both man and beast ;" 6 And costing, in the aggregate, One hundred dollars to tlie plate ; Where Jerome drew the sounding stopples, ' And Wetmore, waiting, " wash'd the hottles," And was " chiet-eook" on resolutions. And helpt distribute constitutions ; Wliere Ginimel, bland (unused to tricks), With Ketcham snuff d the waning wicks; Where Blatchtbrd IjlinkVl, with a\^'kward grace, On Tilden's tiny, weazen face ; Where Raymond " hob-a-nobb'd" with Lud- low, And Weed begg'd Wood to stand aside ; While Hoftnian strain'd his throat from ilood- low (In praise of me) till morning tide ; Where Beecher, Tyng and Mr. Field, Reluctantly, were found to yield To my great scheme of reconstruction. Which may, with mine, be their destruction ; Where I, swift whirling through the State, Drank from a jug, early and late; And su aug my hat on car-platforms, Midst clouds of dust and driving storms. To rouse the people, in their might. To rescue Rebels wrong; or rio-ht ; And bring back matters to a stand. With Copperheads in full command ; 7 In sLort, wliere I played " king'' or ass, Things have come to a " Sony pass !" The elections all have gone awry — However, nothwithstanding I, By Eaymond, Weed, and Mister Seward, Had been, most solemnly, assured That a majority, at least, Of countless thousands would be cast ! For whom sustains " my policy" — By the ruff scuff Democrac}' — Whom, they declared, was their intention To scoop in, by the late Convention, That march'd in, " weeping," two and two. And then cried: " Cock-a-doodle-doo !'■ VII. They, also, solemnly averi'd, That, late by telegraph, they lieard That, in New Hampshire and Vermont, There was such a tremendous want Of Radicals, and such a gain Of Copperheads, they'd carry Maine ! They thought, if Grant and Farragut Would go with us, Connecticut, Ohio, too, and Pennsylv^ania W^ould surely cry out : '•'• Now I lay me !' That Iowa and e'en Missouri Would follow them like fun and fury. And, as " the night was wearino; late," They'd made a Couch in the " Bay State,'' AVhereon, witli a '' night-ca|)" of toddy, That State would tund>le in witli " Rlioily f And that New Jersey and Nebraska Were kneeling, in their turn, to ask me To take tliem on, without n)uch noise. With us, by rail, to Illinois, Where we've been " steaming," with th" ti-J((^ Tlie Mormons left with, for Eutali I VIII. Their plan t' effect tliis wondrous tiling, W^as to induce old Mister Tyng, To cogitate a silly letter, (And tliey afnrra'd, he knew no better). In adv^ocacy of my manner, Of reconstruction, with a haiiiier ! And, it was, also, understood, That Reverend Henry Beecher, In 'pistolary method, should Embi'ace the lovely creature ] Th' aft'ecting scene at Phil ad el', Where Copperheads and treason. Linked, arm-in-arm, and" wept" so ^vell. Was timely, or in season. Witli gravity, they also added. The Constitution, hack'd and jaded By Rebel lips and Copperhead Should be diffused, or wider spread By me, and solemuly confided To thousands, as, by rail, I glided ; Enjoining that the sacred trust Should always be preservVl from dust ; And ne'er exposed to storms or wind, And all our friends would " o-o it blind :" Or, as tliey said (to be more pos'), They'd take the " Union as it was ;" And, witli the friends of Jeff Davis, "The Constitution as it is;" Without amendino; head oi' tail. Lest Stevens should devour the whale I IX. Tliad. Stevens and his noisv crano-, I did, e'er now, intend to hang ; And Greeley, too, I had thought best, Ere " I swung round the circle," west, To liano; as hio-h as Haman huns^, And send with him, Phillips along. Ward Beecher, too, as also Tyng, I should have dano;led on the strino- ; But they, alas ! alas ! too soon. Like David Crocket's timid coon. Came dow n and yielded, ere I shot, And now, with me, must share my lot ! 10 X. Strange, it may seem, }^et Seward added : That office-lioldei's, fi'esL or jaded, Tlirougliont tlie land, must cross tlie Styx, Should they not think with Gen ral Dix, That my gi'eat scheme of reconstruction, Is just the thing, or quite perfection. So, off, all adverse heads, I cut. And left them bleed ino- in the rut ; Supplanting, aye, the fallen dead With some undoul)ted Copperhead; Or, from anothei' class of thieves, B\- themselves, call'd " Conservatives," I made selections of the timher, I found most ^^■ortllless, weak and limber ; Wlio now enjoy the " bread and cheese" Of all tlie public offices I Poor Putnam ! could not stand the sc^q ; And, lo ! his head is in the l)ag ; Together, ^\'ith ten thousand more, Who, lately my straight collai* wore. But they were restive, wdnc'd and waver'd, And off, their tumbling heads, I sever'd ! Straio'ht out of office "I have kick'd" The friends of Lincoln, and have ti'ick'd The party that elected me ; And those, who then rejected me, 11 I now enil»race, in fall communion, As th' only true friends of the Union ; Which is confided to my keeping, And has occasioned me mucli " weeping ;" As witness'd at the mournful meeting. By those who })rouglit me grateftil greeting, Direct fi-om " th' arm-in-arm Convention ;•'' Where there was not the least contention ; For all were irao-o-'d, or locked so tio;ht, They could not speak nor even ! XI. Yet, strange]' still, my scheme to carr}', Weed seiz'd upon the military ; Or, I should say, as if to joke 'em, He capturVl Dix and Gen'ral Slocum, And started oflP, with Gen'ral Wool, For Cleveland, to enact the " Fool," In such perfection, that the " Rebs" Indorsed their chickens in the eggs. And telegraph'd the hens " in blue,'' While incubating, what to do ; Unmindful that their eggs were rotten, Ere they were lay'd or ever " sot'* on ! XII. 'Twas next proposed that I should go, With them, by rail, to Chicago ; 12 And tlRniee, o'er Lincoln's lionorM gi'ave, Pei'form the " Hypocrite and Kna\'e ;" And, thence, again, by rail, and via St. Louis ( wliere I dropt a tear). To tamous Lidianapolis, Where I drank till as drunk as ! Whicli so enrag'd the howling mob. They nigh, lor me, Iiad " done the job," Had not great Grant and Farragut, A stop to tlieir mad mischief ])ut ! XIII. It was a hicky thing that (Irant Was taken witli iis on the jaunt ; And, no less so, that Farragut Was ta"e;i along our trail to strut; For the}' were needed to elicit Applanse emphatic and explicit, hx many cases, wliere the mob Was more inclined to steal and rol) ; Or ])elt, perha})s, with rotten eggs. Our l)ack and shoulders, head and lei:>:s, Than i)ay due honoi's to the " Chief . Executive," for his relief! Besides, they were a pleasant l)ntt For Sevv^ard, who, quite often, put His audience in humor, after. At their ex[)ense, a hearty laughter. 13 Their presence seem'd to caiT} weiglit In favor of my plans of State ; But, more directly, to the plot Of reconstruction, I had wrought ; Intended, as "my policy" Enables all the world to see. To make of Rebel sympathizers, Our governmental supervisors ; And raise the Rebs themselves to place, Which thev abandoned in diso-race, When they essay'd, with desperation, To take the life-blood of the nation ; But, only witli success, assail 'd Poor Lincoln ! and, in all else, tail'd. Him, they, with bloody hands, o'erthrew, And would have taken my life, too, Had not a providential hit Enabled me to avoid it. Yet these, with crimson'd hands, still reeking I would have now, in Congress, speaking ; And claim for them, more sovereign rights, Than loyal men have, black or whites. Congress, without them, is a bore, Which I would willingly ignore ; And hold as nothing all their acts, If I could do't, and keep my axe Still on the public grindstone grinding ; And, against theirs, make my acts binding, 14 Wliieli is, ill part, "my policy," Iiidosed by Seward, and, ][)€!' se, Bv Greii'ral Grant and Farrao:nt : Wliom, for a purpose, I have put, Perliaps, into a false position Before the country and the nation ; For, doul)tless, they regarded were, Wlien smoking quiet in the car Along with us, as of our mind 1 At any rate, I am inclin'd, Whether for evil or foi' good, To have the thino; so understood ; And, as they're silent as the dead. And nought have written, nothing said. Against my plan of reconstruction. There is not now the slightest iluxion Or particle of dou]>t, with most, That they are with the gallant host ; Who, in their sustenance of me. With zeal indorse " my policy !" XIY. I ought, perhaps, to say in passing. That, while we Iiqi(or\I at St. Louis, Amidst ten thousand Kebels massing, Who paid us all the honors due lis, I spoke somewhat profnse and plainly Of Congress and its wHcked acts ; 15 But, though 1 spol^e so long, 'twa? mainly, Of what are well-known patent facts. I said that Congress is a knave. Beyond a doubt ; and, without reason, Has late declar d it will not have Hereafter fellowship with treason ! XV. , Congress is a consj^iraey Of wicked usurpation ; And means, I think, to I'uin me. And make laws for the nation ! 'Tis an excrescence, or i^retence. Upon my ''outskirts hanging;" For Tm the CTO\ernment ! and, hence, Will stand no ConoTess bano'ino;. That Congress has, with malice, sought To raise a new rebellic»n. Both Seward, Weed and I have thought Too true, to need repellion. That the massacre, at Ne\v Orleans, By Congress was concocted. To me is clear, as pork and beans, Or a strong 1 )raud3' cock-tail ! ni l)et a keg of rum or two, As fine as e'er was bottl'd. That Sumner, Wade and Stevens knew, The neoToes woidd be throttl'd I 10 Whoe'er this sterling truth denies, So public and so patent, Most wickedly and basely lies, And is a traitoi* latent. That Munroe and his mob-police, By Cono;ress was incited To nuirder loyal men, there has, Witli truth, no doubts been cited, Tlie long reports of Sheridan, . .' . Of Baird and the Commission — . . • . . Are loosely drawn and very sham ; In short — an imposition! .... Congress, no doubt, cori'upted them. To lie about the matter ; Which is a mere election ilam, ... The Kadicals to flatter. , . Moreover, sagely, I surmise, And others it have blurted ; ... :. . That Humphreys, Ferris, Semmes and Wise, By Congress are supported ! . . Congress is an incendiary, I do not doubt a spec ; And burnt, in league with the "Old Harry,'' Both Portland and Quebec ! And all the fires that have been set, Of late from Maine to Texas, ... . . By Congress kin dl'd, were, ril bet, . ... To torment and to vex us ! 17 The riot, too, at Meuipliis was, As I have often stated. While " working up" the Rebel cause, By Congress instigated ! Although, by some, it is pretended That the St. Albans raid was not, By Congress, willfully intended As a nefarious Sumner-plot; Yet, evidence in my possession, Beyond contingency or cavil. Has fix'd the guilt of that transgression On Congress, combined with the devil ! The floods of rain that lell out West, And drouo-hts in other regions, Sprang, doubtless, from the evil l)reast Of Congress and its legions. The cattle-plague and cholera, And all steamboat explosions, Are but the just corollary Of Congress-acts and notions. The nuirders, robberies and theft. That scourge the country through, Are just what Congress might be left, Or expected to do ! The people must, ere long, j^erceive, What should not be denied, That wdien of Congress I took leave, That worthless body died. 18 Its acts ai'e null, and liave 1)8c:i ;///, Fi'oni tliat (lay e'en to tliis; And ninst l)e, till the Honse I till, With such men as Davis ! These accusations oft I hrought, And oft I will do ditto ; And all their acts TU brino^ to naught, And stamp them with my veto ! XVT. "'TIS strange, perhaps, 1)ut not less true. That I, with traitors, should consort ; Since traitors and their treason, too. So little find, but "cold comfort!" Although I bluster'd and pretended. Things had got bad, and should be mended ; That Rel)els wei'e a set of felloAvs, Who ought to perish on the gallows ; That Davis, Mason, Cold, and Slidell, Were wicked men, and tar too nigh hell. To lose t'ieir undisputed claims. To its consuming smoke and flames ; That Johnson, Benjamin and ToomT)s, Old Memmenger and Lee, Might, also, there find vacant rooms, To which they ought to flee; That confiscation, sword and fire. If used with vigoi', might inspire 19 Some loyalty among tlie " Rebs," So full of villaiiy and fil^s ; That Sanndei's, Thompson, Wise and Rhett, Deserve, through life, to toil and sweat, In gloomy dungeons, shortly fed On bi'ead and water, 'till they're dead ; That Serames and Holcom, Page and Letcher, Deser\e to wear a long neck-stretcher, And dangle with their heels on high, Midway between the earth and sky ; That Rebel-sympathizers north — The refuse, riff-raff, scum and froth, And loathsome dregs from every nation. Most ricldy merit deep d n ; That treason, Rebeldom and traitors, Wlierever found in ever}^ clime, Result in very " small potatoes,'' Or in atrocious fraud and crime ; Yet this aside from private spleen, Was all a Southern take-in ; Intended only as is seen. To save myself and " bacon !" xvn. The Co])perheads ])egan to reason, When raiUv rebellion raised its head. Upon the awful crime of treason ; And with much truth and justice said : 20 The Soutli is justified and strong ; And that the North was weak and wrong ; And ought and would be overthrown, By Southern enterprise and bone ; "Which they asserted were more keen, Than anything the world had seen ! Besides they advocated peace, And thouo'ht the fio-htino; ouo'ht to cease ; And that the Union they decided, Would ])e much stronger if divided ; And much less likely ever after, T\)Ccasion anything but laughter ; Both here at home and e'en in Europe, Which they insisted on would cure up All living jealousies and dead, That Europe towards us ever had ; And that the Rebels of the South Would more contril)ute to our growth, Should they succeed in thus assailing The government than by their failing I A proposition I approve. With Southern sympathy and love. xviir. 'Twere vain, indeed, if not absurd, To detail how the ])eople stiri'Vl, As we pressVl on our devious wa}". With " heavy steam on" night and day. 21 Yet I, perhaps, should say a word, Of what at Seward's lionse occiiiT'd, When we drove up amidst the noise Of sliouting women, men and boys ; Wlio seem'd excited and alarm'd. On our arrival more than ch.arm'd ; And loudly bawl'd with one consent, " Grant ! Grant ! for our next President !'' And then with much vehemence hist Their neighbor Seward and his guest ! But Sewai'd with accustomVl grace, Put on a bland and smiling face, And thank'd the people foi* " uprising" In such great numbers to sa]:>port (Though in a way somewhat surprising), '•My 2X)licy" and friend at court. As Grant said nothing and we spoke, -We took the hissing as a joke ; And straight assnm'd that the applause Foi' Grant, was for ourselves and cause. This pleasing scene at Auburn past. When I lodged there with Seward last. While we, uncovered, bowing sat Or stood within his crowded gate ! XIX. We came at length to Louisville, A city Avhere they slay or kill, 22 All Avlio witL them shall disagree 111 politics or " Policy !" So lapidly had my great plan Of reconstruction me outran, — That ^vlien I reach'd the city gate, I found myself a potentate ! All caps were rais'd, all knees were bent, And voices rang with wild content ; And I myself was so bespatter'd, With fulsome praises and so ilatter'd By men and women of all classes, Who T)awl'd or bray'd like frantic asses ; That I siippos'd myself a thing, That might some day be made a " king !" Or Emperor, j^erhaps a Pope ! With co^\'l and crosier and a roj^e ; Superl^ly cro^v^n'd with jewell'd rig, Resemblinsi: a two-o'allon kes; ! In short, at Louisville, I was A lion of the Rebel cause ; In all respects a man that might, Be in the wrong or in the right ; No matter which ; provided that I saw my interest in what Was pleasing them and pleasing me, And pleasing to " my policy." 23 XX. From Louisville we took the river, Aud steam'd as fast we could " stiver," Dii'ectly tlience for Ciucinnati ; Where I at once was made unhappy, To find the " great uprising" there. Among the folks a sad affair ! At least 'twas sad for me and Seward, As anything that we endur'd. Throughout our trip of incubation, To hatch ducks for the " Secesh nation." How'er we brought up Farragut, And Grant who very quickly put A new face on the peoj^le's faces ; Which chang'd from frowns to pleasing traces Of approbation of these great Defenders of the falling State ; While loud the town rang with applause Of them, and for the loyal cause. XXI. In Cincinnati where we made No goslings, and but one night staid ; We found the people in a pet. And quickly " cut and run for it.'' Bra\'e Gen'ral Grant and Farragut, Saw clearly we had a " hard nut 24 To crack," in urging on our ^vay, And niingled, finally, in the ])lay, — As moved our " caravan" along — Througli many a dense and frowning throng While Welles, who sat upon tlie nest, To hateli the ei^o's we o-atherM West, Began to cluck and scratch tlie dung, That miscliief-makino; ]h)\s had tluno-; Bold Stanton, wlio, as the cock-heu, Throusfhoiit the war so brave had been; And fought the Rebels to the knife. To save the nation and its life, Along this dismal journey drear, Show'd no signs of the chanticleer! XXII. At Pittsburgh-landing wliere I spoke. Midst clouds of coal-dust, fire and smoke, And " used up*' Congress, doughty Seward Fell oli', supinely, to tlie leeward ; Too faint to turn the oro;an-cj'ank, Or play another monkey -prank. He fell, exhausted, fast asleep — Unable afterwards to peep ! Alas ! alas ! alas ! poor Seward ! What dangers didst thou slum, When thou a special train secur'd. Homeward with thee to run ! %5 ¥o\\ liad thou loDger staid and spoke Where list'ning hundreds fell Beneath the rotten bridge that bi'oke, Thou might have been in ! But thou escap'd the fatal stroke, Though borne upon a bier, And saved thy supple neck and yoke, To serve another year. In this how clearly it is shown, The devil always takes, Th'especial guidance of his own, And spares their worthless necks [ xxin. The " Keystone State"' I found a rock. Which gave my shatter'd nerves a shock, And wilted down my waning pluck; For Forney, there, the old " dead duck," Was flapping yet his batter'd quills, And dosed me ^v'orse than " Brand reth's i^ills. At Harrisburgh I had bad luck, In speaking to the mob ; And, but for Grant, I should have stuck. And made a nasty job. But when Grant came out of the ear. Demurely smoking his segar. And show'd himself on the platform, He met a deaf iiing thunder-storm, 26 Of clapping-hands and cbeering voices, Tliat must have frighten 'd men and liorses. While I slid off amidst the jar, And hid myself within the car; Determined ne'er to show my face Again, in that most barl)arous place. The Constitution I had left. Without the least amendment ; With orders to abstain from theft, Except at my commandment. As soon as I could leave a flag, ' • With Clymer, Reid v office-seekers' vellino-s. The " polic}'" tliat is the best, Is Jfouesifif the world all throuuh ; And he who makes oflile the least, Deceives and .'