HOUSE and HOME A PRACTICAL HANDBOOK MARY ELIZABETH CARTER ill ! THE WOMAN'S HOME LIBRARY .■ ■ • iiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiir Class LM4S_ Book 3151 Copyright^ . COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. House and Home X5 — ____• — — — — — — — — — — _ — — ■ _ — — > — These two factors combined heap up great diffi- culties for that future which we ought to be safe- guarding. . . . The day when, by your prac- tices, you have brought about the lessening of re- spect in your children, you have suffered a sen- sible loss. ... It seems to me that the greater part of us labor for this loss. . . ." When searching the references of one whose former employers are beyond your reach as far as personal interviews are concerned, it must then be done by correspondence. To avoid taxing the time of those to whom you write it is a good plan to prepare a series of questions which only require Yes or No in reply. Always leave space for whatever your correspondent may volunteer to write with reference to any special traits that may have appeared in the person you are inquir- ing about. A polite note, written upon a separate sheet, and as brief as courtesy w T ill permit, should accompany the questions, along with an addressed and stamped envelope, all sent under one cover. Reliable intelligence offices keep on file the ref- erences of those who are on their books. Persons applying for a domestic can have access to the ref- erences of anyone whom they are considering. No servant can be registered on their books who has not credentials for honesty and sobriety, or ENGAGING SERVANTS 145 who has failed to keep an engagement to go to a place. Scarcely anything gives a good housewife more trouble than the carelessness of some other housewives about giving references. Conscien- tiousness and kindness should be united when one writes references for departing servants. Every good word possible to be said with truth should be said ; whatever they do well should be men- tioned. If they are totally incapable for the sort of situation that they are seeking, and you know it, there should be no hesitation about saying so, if your opinion should be asked. It is well to realize that one who cannot get along at all in houses of one sort may do very well in those of a different kind of management. Open the way, as far as you can, for servants to do their best at self-support without imposing upon anyone's inexperience or good nature. If you must dis- charge a domestic never do it in a moment of anger, even if at the time it seem to you justi- fiable. No matter what the provocation, wait until you can discharge without any sign of tem- per. When parting commend all that she has done well, and let her go feeling that she has your best w r ishes. If discharging because you are reducing expenses, or about to close your house, then you oive it to a good servant to 146 HOUSE AND HOME do all in your power to get her into a desirable situation as soon as possible. But when a do- mestic has proved entirely incompetent, or in any way really objectionable for a nice family, it is very wrong to write her a reference that may possibly be the means of misleading others and induce them to take her into their houses to their sorrow. Very objectionable traits or utter in- competency are soon discovered, and few care anything about a reference given after a very brief term of service, unless, in that time, the servant proved herself extraordinarily capable and was highly recommended by a former em- ployer. V CHAPTER ELEVEN tj KITCHEN AND COOKING Ignorance the root of all our woes. A sequence. Chimney draughts. Kitchen no place for children. Transients in the kitchen. Housewife in her own kitchen. rr UST so long as people live prin- cipally upon cooked food, just so long will cooking and the kitchen be, as they now are, ex- ceedingly important features of every household, impossible to ignore or overlook with impunity. Many a good cause has been lost for the time being — and many a bright future has been dark- ened — by someone's indigestion. Indigestion is at the root of almost as many of humanity's troubles as selfishness itself. But, of course, ignorance is the root of them all. Whenever people knoiv better they avoid and escape the woes that come through ignorance. Without a good digestion health is impossible, and unhealth is misery. Poor cooking produces 147 148 HOUSE AND HOME about as much indigestion as bad temper. In fact it is a case of action and reaction. Indigestion, low spirits, bad temper. Bad temper, low spirits, indigestion., and so on interminably. Bad cook- ing, bad temper, low spirits all belong together. They propagate each other. Since poorly cooked food produces indigestion, poor cooking should be abolished. It can be abolished by all those who set about it by paying attention to having the very best possible cooking for each meal, however simple it may be. As kitchen and cook are inseparable, those two should be equally well provided for; the kitchen with ample conveniences, and the cook with good wages, and good materials for the work expected. No one need look for good cooking, even from a competent cook, if inferior materials be supplied or if the kitchen be unprovided with utensils suit- able for doing the cooking required. Nothing can be passed over that pertains to the kitchen ; from the chimney draught down to the larding needle someone must be responsible and pay at- tention. A kitchen should not only be brightly lighted and well ventilated, but also arranged with a view to sending kitchen odors up chimney and not throughout a house. For notwithstand- ing its importance, nobody in other parts of the KITCHEN AND COOKING 149 house wants to be reminded of the culinary re- gion by cooking smells. With care this can be avoided. ** There are many devices that come for getting rid of kitchen odors that ought to be looked up by housekeepers and adopted. Some ranges have an opening above them with a slide that moves back letting the odors pass through to the sky, by way of the flue. To have wholesome cooking, however good the food purchased, the cook must be cheer- ful and enjoy the work. Cheerfulness cannot be expected in a cheerless, gloomy kitchen, they are incompatible. Neither can a cook, ever so com- petent, do justice to herself or send to the table palatable food, if stinted in any requisite for the work. And further, a cook should never be called away from her work to do anything out- side the kitchen. A moment's inattention, or a brief absence, may result in the spoiling of a lot of nice ingredients, in process of preparation for the table, and make extraordinary work for who- ever has to clean up after something has boiled over, or been badly burnt in the oven. Cooking demands concentration of thought as much as writing books or any profession. No one can cook and at the same time do things foreign to i5o HOUSE AND HOME that work without being in danger of wasting time and material. If a satisfactory cook asks for additional utensils, to which she has been accustomed or that will help her in her work, they should be promptly supplied and everything possible done to lighten the kitchen labors, for at best the cook leads a wearisome treadmill life. Housewives should be watchful and permit no one to go into the kitchen, when the cook is very busy, unless to help, and no one should be allowed to make any work for her. Above all things children ought to be taught that the kitchen is no place for them. My mother never permitted one of her children to go inside the kitchen. If she sent us with a message to the cook we were in- structed to stand at the kitchen door and deliver it, but not to go over the threshold, and to leave as soon as we had delivered the message. Besides being only fair to the cook not to permit her to be interrupted by children it is also safer for them not to be in the kitchen, for at any moment they might get hurt. Suppose older people go into the kitchen to do some useful thing — prepare a salad dressing or make cake — that is no reason for leaving disorder behind when through. There is always a right KITCHEN AND COOKING 151 and a wrong way of doing everything. A dainty woman when at work keeps things trim about her. If making cake she never lays anything that needs washing, down on a table, but keeps a plate or a bowl for the egg-beater, spoons, and whatever else she may have in use. When she gets through, the table will be as clean as when she began. By a little care persons can avoid leaving untidy signs of the work they have done. While cake-making goes on things may just as well be kept in order. The boxes of flour and sugar should be wiped with a clean damp cloth before returning them to their places. When the cake is in the oven all the utensils that have been used should be in the cake bowl and that ought to be filled with water and left standing in the sink, or else washed immediately and put away. Never leave anything to dry on before dish-wash- ing time. That is wretched mismanagement, in- excusable in any but the totally inexperienced. Never lay eggshells on the table ; it is easier to wash a plate than it is to scrub a sticky spot on wood. Thoughtfulness for others, especially for those who work all day long, is a cardinal virtue. It is also, in the kitchen, a prime factor in reduc- ing the work to a minimum instead of multiply- ing it beyond reason. 152 HOUSE AND HOME If you want to make cake in a great hurry and think that you have not time to be neat about it, then, before you begin, spread over the table a large sheet of strong paper and keep the mess on it. When you get through gather up the paper with all the droppings inside and burn it. Tran- sients going into a kitchen to do odd jobs ought to find out when it will be least inconvenient for the cook to have them there. The approach of some persons is enough to set a cook's nerves all throbbing at once, because they carry confusion along with them and make a great deal more work than they do. A little while ago I saw a review of a new book in which the writer had drawn a most entic- ing picture of window gardening in the kitchen. She seems to have supposed that a cook would have plenty of time for planting and weeding, etc. Her idea was that the cook could raise her own parsley and herbs and even have beautiful little rosy radishes peeping up between the green things all ready to be pulled for garnishing. It seemed to be the very poetry of kitchen garden- ing, but — it was far more poetical than possible; albeit it was written in prose, the poet's license was freely indulged therein and stretched to its uttermost limits, at least so it appears to me. In KITCHEN AND COOKING 153 the first place the average cook has all that she ought to have to do without any new responsi- bilities being laid upon her. However con- venient it might be just to step to a window for a sprig of parsley or a few radishes — provided the pretty green and pink things should consent to grow and thrive in such adverse conditions — from what I know of cooks and their lives, my impres- sion is that without an exception they would much prefer to get their herbs and radishes from the market all tied up and ready for garnishing and seasoning, than to have their light obstructed by boxes of earth with a few sickly things strug- gling for air and leaning wistfully towards the light if they should have push enough to get above the soil. The nurture of the things would sub- tract from the cook's time for much-needed rest and recreation. No, no, let in every ray of light at the kitchen windows, study to reduce the work there — it already constitutes the major portion in most households — but leave kitchen gardening to the gardener, who makes a study of it and will furnish what you require cheaper than the cook can raise it. Give her a rocking chair, let her rock when she has time for it ; lend her the daily paper, a magazine or a book occasionally, if she has time to look at them, but leave window i54 HOUSE AND HOME gardening for those who have plenty of leisure. However aesthetic it may seem when read about, it will not be desirable in the kitchen from the economical or any other viewpoint. Those who expect nice pastry from their cook should have a marble slab in the kitchen for that work. Good pastry cannot be made unless it is kept icy cold until it is baked. It requires the two extremes of cold and heat ; but, until it goes to the oven, which should be extra hot, pastry, to be edible, must be as cold as ice water for mixing, hard butter for enriching, and the marble slab for rolling out, can make it. The table in the center of the kitchen and con- venient to the range should be neatly covered with zinc. This saves labor, as the zinc absorbs no grease and is easily kept bright and clean with hot water and sapolio or bon ami ; the latter is an improvement upon sapolio, and preferred by workers generally. Except in very elaborate kitchens where a chef presides and must have copper utensils, agate ware is the best for those who cannot afford the new porcelain-coated iron in pure white, or the beautiful aluminum ware that comes. Every housekeeper who likes to go into her kitchen to do nice cooking should have her own utensils and allow no one else to KITCHEN AND COOKING 155 use them. She can then be certain that they are clean and ready for her whenever she chooses to make any dainty for the table. The pure white ware called " The Elite " is beautiful enough to make one want to cook occasionally, using those utensils of course. The kitchen needs at least three double boilers of different sizes, and for special purposes. They are a great comfort to a cook because they spare her from much anxiety when crowded with work, as nothing ever burns in the double boiler. It must of course be kept supplied with water in the lower compartment when on the range. Beside the range should hang a metal rack for holding cooking spoons and forks. It needs cleaning as often as anything used in the kitchen, but it is a great convenience and prevents soiling a table when the cook is attending to something that is over the fire. To gauge a cook's judgment notice her bread- making. If invariably good, you may rest assured that she has judgment enough to be trustworthy as a cook. If her bread is sometimes delicious and at other times poor, you may be certain that she cooks by guesswork — trusts to luck, so-called, and lacks judgment. This applies to all who do any cooking, whether the housewives them- 156 HOUSE AND HOME selves or the paid servant. It is a trustworthy test. Rules applying, and requirements and duties belonging, to a kitchen where there is a hired cook, apply with equal force when a house- wife does her own cooking. But it is natural to suppose that where the mistress herself cooks she will be, in proportion to her education and gen- eral culture, more dainty in every way than any- one who hires out as a cook could possibly be. Because of her good taste and cleanliness and her superior advantages in training, her kitchen will always be neater and more inviting than that of one of the class whose opportunities in life are altogether restricted and who, for the same reason, is obliged to earn a living in what is regarded as a menial's situation. But the house- wife to whose manifold and varied duties and re- sponsibilities cooking for a family is added, should be as good and considerate to herself as she would have to be to an exceedingly competent woman in her service as a paid cook — if she wished to re- tain her. While studying to do everything in the best manner she should also seek every means to lighten her labors and never permit herself to become a kitchen drudge, but, on the contrary, prove to herself and her family by her dainty w T ay KITCHEN AND COOKING 157 of doing everything that even kitchen work may be made something of a fine art. Charlotte P. Gilman, in her book " Woman and Economics" truly says: " House service keeps the housewife on her feet from dawn till dark. Women work longer and harder than most men, and not solely in maternal duties." This proves something radically wrong in our social conditions. Everybody in good health ought to work, but no one should be compelled to work laboriously week in and week out. The household where any one woman does this is in a sadly inharmonious condition, no matter whether the unhappy drudge be a member of the family or a paid stranger within the gates. \ u CHAPTER TWELVE u TO OBTAIN AND RETAIN THE IDEAL SERVANT Ideal twentieth-century servant. Ideal employer. Human and humane relations. Good manners. Evolution of ideal em- ployer followed by that of ideal servant. XJ T seems trite to state that ideals depend upon the stage of soul- development of the human being, nevertheless the truth needs reitera- i tion. For ideals are as various as are individual characters and they advance with the spiritual unfoldment of individuals. The ideals of man in the savage state are very far below those of man civilized, and the ideals of mankind generally in the present stage of humanity's march are far below the altruistic ideals now just coming into our range of vision. Simply stated, the ideal twentieth-century serv- ant must be honest, sober, competent, respectful, obedient, patient, and steadfast — have the " stay- 158 THE IDEAL SERVANT 159 ing " trait. These requirements would probably constitute that ideal servant's equipment which might justify our millionaire friend in naming the one so qualified in his will. Having discov- ered and obtained that rara avis — in fact ma- terialized the ideal servant — the next equally important question is how to retain the rare bird. The method is easier stated than followed. The master or mistress of such an invaluable auxiliary in the household ought to be as well equipped for his or her role, therefore the ideal employer should be, of course, honest, sober, kind, considerate, courteous, appreciative, just, and also steadfast, having " retaining qualities." By steadfast on the servant's side is meant one who remains long in one place, sometimes even at personal inconvenience. By steadfast on the em- ployer's side is meant one who keeps a good serv- ant even at personal inconvenience, and who could not think of closing a house and discharging any or all hands without careful thought for the well- being of every reasonably good servant. The root of most of our domestic friction lies in the utter indifference of average employers as to what becomes of those in their service when they no longer need them. Servants realize and i6o HOUSE AND HOME feel keenly this mental attitude and are conse- quently alert to find out the plans of their em- ployers, in order, if possible, to forestall discharge by securing new places for themselves in time to avoid being out of situations at most inconvenient seasons. For it is not uncommon for a servant to be discharged because of an employer's changed plans, and often, too, without even a month's wages in advance to tide over the emergency. This is one serious fault of many who have ample means to do otherwise; in fact they are the greatest offenders of all in this respect. It is sur- prising to hear those who do not hesitate about closing their houses for the sake of taking a long pleasure-trip, regardless of thus throwing many servants out of employment, inveigh at the " meanness " of servants they would fain keep, for leaving them suddenly to secure more de- sirable and probably more permanent places, or because they know that if they do not go at a cer- tain season it will be more difficult for them to get settled in situations when the employer is quite ready to part with them. The householders who desire to obtain and retain ideal service must earn a good reputation amongst the serving class, and also at the agencies through which they seek to procure servants. THE IDEAL SERVANT 161 This needs more emphasis than many of them dream. There are houses so conspicuous for the pro- prietor's utter lack of consideration for their domestics' comfort that the mention of them causes a general shoulder shrug; and capable servants cannot be induced to enter them unless by a series of misfortunes they are in sore need of situations. Written references are, by no means, the only kind. It would surprise some who are frequently changing their servants could they hear the concise characterization given of their domestic economy by those who know all about their household management without ever hav- ing lived with them. And it is safe to state, with- out fear of contradiction from any experienced one, that where you hear of constant friction in the domestic department of any house, those who hold the reins of government are themselves un- worthy of good service. Inexorable law is ever, and everywhere, at work, and noble-hearted em- ployers attract to themselves as good service as can be found. Those seeking situations are eager to enter service where reasonable consideration is shown to the domestic corps. The house where fair wages are paid without the exaction of ex- tortionate demands for service, where the table is 162 HOUSE AND HOME known to be wholesome and good, and where no servant's outing times are invaded for the house- hold convenience, will have a waiting list, from which a choice can be made, ever ready to step in and fill vacancies, and vacancies there will not be of frequent occurrence. The writer has kept house upon almost every scale, run the gamut, so to speak, of simple, ele- gant, and palatial housekeeping, and feels this statement to be true from every point of view. It is not the proprietor's wealth that makes his house desirable or his service sought by the wage- earner. It is something finer far than any grandeur of environment. It is, in one word, character, and there is many a simple, unpreten- tious home where the domestic arrangements are so just and kind to all that peace breathes throughout, even along with nice economy. When human and humane relations become the rule between servers and served, when heart culture, not convention, governs the manners of all, a new and beautiful order will displace the old disorder still too prevalent amongst enlight- ened people. The fact that one serves another for pay is no reason that one should be altogether subservient to that other. A thoughtful and well-known THE IDEAL SERVANT 16 .> writer of to-day says: " It is not what is vulgar within us, but what is noblest, that asserts itself in the face of offensive pride; it is manhood that is w T ounded ; it is not wealth, but the spirit of the wealthy, that must be arraigned." We might carry the thought further, and say it is not ser- vice in any department of life that is hard, but it is the usurping spirit of the served that embitters many lives and chokes a desire to serve well. Faithful service not only entitles the one serv- ing to fair and prompt compensation, but to in- variable courtesy also. The tone and manners of those with whom we come in contact make or mar life for us all. Truly good manners are the re- sult of heart culture and they are not put on and off like best and second-best clothing for special environment or favored associates, albeit many seem to think otherwise. Every economic problem — the servant question included — now vexing the so-called civilized world will be solved to general satisfaction when Charles Reade's motto, " Put yourself in his place," is adopted and actualized in the lives of the ruling class. It is only another version of the standard given to mankind two thousand years ago, by the great type character of the i6 4 HOUSE AND HOME Christian world, and fitly named the " Golden Rule," since, thus far, it has been regarded as altogether too precious for everyday use. The conclusion of the whole matter is this: With the evolution of the ideal employer will come, in natural order, the evolution of the much- talked-of, dearly-longed-for " Ideal servant." Note. — This chapter was written expressly for the Philadelphia " Press," at the time that the Chicago millionaire, John Farson, was advertising his offer to bequeath one million dollars to the ideal ser- vant. Since it is impossible for anyone to be many times a million- aire and an ideal human being at the same time, our Chicago friend will have to wait for another incarnation before he finds the ideal servant. By that time he may have become one himself. XJ CHAPTER THIRTEEN U TRAINING A MAID IN TABLE- SETTING She must be neatly dressed. Table linen. Laying the cloth ac- curately. Side table for dessert. Chair placing. Hot plates for things hot. XJ £ ? S"? PON a leisure day give the maid her first lesson. Have her I come to you neat and trim, J her hair in perfect order, she i wearing a clean white apron, its every fold clearly defined. Let her under- stand, at the outset, that this is obligatory upon one entering the dining room. Give her the rea- son. Everything connected with food-serving should be scrupulously clean. First introduce her to the table linen. Call her attention to the various sizes, patterns, and uses of each kind. Give her a notebook with all legibly written out for reference as you proceed and later when sheiis doubtful. If instructed kindly and carefully, she will 165 166 HOUSE AND HOME soon learn to distinguish between the different styles and uses of each. Show her the little doilies, stating their various uses. Do likewise with side-table covers, tray cloths, centerpieces, and every article of table linen. Pause to ques- tion her. Let her repeat slowly what you have taught her. When she makes a mistake correct, quietly, without disconcerting her. Let her see that you maintain perfect order — have a place for everything and keep everything in its place — that you could lay your hand on anything required suddenly, even in the dark. Next take her to the pantry. Show her the china and glass, then the cutlery and silver, all in precisely the same way ; give the name and use of each article. When questioning her, remember the way children are reviewed in school and how school examinations are conducted. Do not ex- pect, after one lesson, that she will be able to an- swer one hundred per cent, of your questions. Be as patient with your pupil learning the mys- teries of your menage as you expect your chil- dren's teachers to be with them in the schoolroom. By practice only can anyone become expert at any- thing. Therefore, with her assistance, begin to lay the table. Permit her to do all she can under your guidance. Let her remove, fold, and put TABLE-SETTING 167 away the colored cloth used between meals on the table, and get the white felt cover to spread over the table. See that ft hangs the same all around. Explain w T hy it is used. Always give a reason for care-taking. It makes an impression upon the memory. Describe the table linen desired for that occasion and let her get it. If she seems puzzled, show her again. Leave the napkins out on the sideboard to be ready when needed. Take the greatest pains in laying the cloth. Place it folded on the table's center. Open it carefully until it lies double lengthwise, its middle fold in exact line with the lengthwise middle of the table. If this initial step be taken inaccurately, the whole appearance of a table will be spoiled. The middle fold in perfect line as directed, a cloth will hang evenly everywhere from the table's edge. For a dinner of six covers, as the places are named, let the maid set one plate at each end of the table and two at each side, equidistant the one from the other. (Cold plates remain upon the table until after the oysters and soup have been served.) On each plate lay a napkin, the corners of all pointing alike on every plate. At the right, be- side each plate, lay as many knives as the courses 168 HOUSE AND HOME will require — the spoon for soup outside the knives — the oyster fork last, across all, its point resting on the plate's edge. At the left of each plate lay all the other forks to be used with or without knives. The small silver should lie in exact line with the table's edge, all handle-ends even, about half an inch equidistance preserved between them. Above the knives, at the right, near the plate, stand the water glass and whatever glasses will be required for wines — the smaller around the larger glasses. Flowers should occupy the table's center or else a jardiniere of growing ferns. When neither of these can be had a dish of fruit, tastefully inter- spersed with shining green leaves, may be substi- tuted. In these days almost everyone has a pretty floral or green decoration suitable for a center- piece, therefore fruit can be arranged in two or four dishes and placed around the flowers — the tablecloth always exposed between. Never crowd things on the table. Bonbons, olives, celery, and salted nuts in small glass dishes should be within reach of the diners, but placed in symmetrical order. No dish should be full ; leave at least an inch of the glass exposed above the line occupied by little dainties. If individual salt-cellars are used, the salt TABLE-SETTING 169 should be smooth, free from lumps, not a grain upon the edges. If large salt-cellars are used, place them at the table's corners, their spoons lying across — each handle towards the outside of the table. When soup is served by the hostess, there should be a large napkin laid at her place for the tureen to stand upon. Place the soup-ladle across in front of the tureen, its handle towards the right. A like precaution, the napkin, should cover the other end of the table, for the carver — the carving knife and fork before the carver, the knife's handle at the right, that of the fork at the left, the blade of the knife and the tines of the fork crossing beside, but not touching each other. Cover the side table with a white cloth and there arrange the dessert service. Finger-bowls one-third full of cold water should rest upon dessert plates — a little doily between each plate and bowl. A slice of lemon, a leaf of rose geranium, or a few T English violets floating on the water may be used, but these are not obligatory. Put a knife at the right on each dessert plate, a fork at the left, across the front a dessertspoon. Be sure to have on the side table, ready before- 170 HOUSE AND HOME hand, extra silver and napkins in case of an acci- dent occurring, thus avoid embarrassment through an unexpected lack of something sud- denly needed. The coffee set should be on the sideboard or side table, a small tray also, with the sugar bowl and cream ewer, because all do not drink black coffee. Chairs should be placed as soon as the table is laid. Shortly before dinner is announced put the dinner rolls in the napkins and fill the glasses with fresh water, a little cracked ice in each be- fore pouring the water. If bread is used instead of rolls, cut it in slices two inches thick, each slice again cut in halves, a piece in each napkin. Have a plate of cut bread, or rolls, on the side table to offer whenever required. Beside the cut bread place a fork for the waitress to help anyone without touching the bread herself. One thing requiring emphasis is this: Hot plates are essential for all viands and vegetables served hot. When the first hot plates come it is time to exchange the cold ones. But no one should be allowed to sit without a plate, either hot or cold, before him, even if he is letting a course pass. TABLE-SETTING 171 Scrupulous care should be observed in prepar- ing the table for the dessert. Have a fork and plate convenient for taking up all the pieces of bread or rolls before removing crumbs, and a crumb-scraper and tray also, or else an unfolded napkin, crumpled softly, for taking off every crumb. ^ However simple the table when ready and dur- ing a meal's progress, it will express the degree of refinement reached by the presiding genius. After a meal again will it silently testify as to the breeding of the family. For a table ever so neatly set soon becomes unsightly, if those around it pay no regard to maintaining its order. N Returning to our main subject, training, re- member that only through practice can one be- come proficient in any line of work. In another's words: "Just consider how we are taught any- thing practical. It is not by hearing about mak- ing shoes that a man becomes a shoemaker, but by trying to make them." The housewife must know how before she can teach her maid. In giving instruction, " Let patience have its perfect work in thee." V CHAPTER FOURTEEN TRAINING A MAID FOR WAITING ON TABLE Written menu posted in pantry and kitchen. Dish washing. Care-taking. Practical lesson. Plate changing. Filling glasses. The sprawling knife and fork. pOWEVER simple the dinner to be served, the menu should be written and posted in the pantry as well as in the kitchen. Then there can be no mis- understanding about it or about the dishes that will be required by the cook or in the dining room. By example as well as by precept a thoughtful, methodical mistress trains her maids in thoughtfulness and in meth- odical habits for all their work and thus makes everything, in the long run, easier for all concerned. The written menu prevents vexatious blunders for which, without it, no one can be held accountable; it also pre- serves peace, avoids many useless words, after a 172 WAITING ON TABLE 173 dinner has gone agley, and may even spare both mistress and maid the trouble of parting and the consequent annoyance of changing, one her situa- tion and the other her domestic. During the instruction of a new maid it is well to take nothing for granted, as far as her previous experience may be concerned. Whatever she has already learned that is desirable to continue will be quickly manifested as you proceed. Suppose the menu be the same that we used in the chapter devoted to table-setting. MENU. Oysters on the Half Shell, Soup, Roast and Vegetables, Salad , Dessert, Fruit, Coffee. The table set in due season, the sideboard and side table all in readiness, the pantry should also be prepared beforehand for receiving the plates, knives, forks, and spoons, as the courses are changed in such an orderly way as to facilitate the dish-washing. At the same time it will be done in the best manner to preserve the silver's i74 HOUSE AND HOME brightness, protect ivory or pearl handles, and do the washing and putting away of the china and glass expeditiously, with the least risk of damag- ing anything. Before the family is called to dinner the pantry should be free from whatever will in any way ob- struct the maid in taking in or removing the courses. Have two large, strong pitchers filled with hot, soapy water standing ready to receive all the small silver in one, and knives and cutlery in the other. Care should be observed to avoid wetting the handles when they are of ivory or any material that can be defaced by remaining wet. There is a fine art which is neglected by the majority of people, albeit it is one that all can cultivate if only they will. It is the art of tak- ing care of, while using, things. Many a scantily furnished house and many a poor-looking table result from carelessness in the use of household belongings. As the maid removes plates and small silver for a change of courses she can quickly transfer the silver to one pitcher and put all knives and cutlery in the other — their handles up and entirely out of the water. The writer knows a nice housekeeper who is still using the ivory-handled silver knives WAITING ON TABLE 175 that she had when she began housekeeping over forty years ago. In clearing a table plates should never be heaped one upon another in the dining room. Even after they reach the pantry they ought to be set down separately until there is time to free each one of any leavings. By having a garbage pail under the basin, or a large, strong bowl beside it ready for receiving the scraps, the plates can be easily scraped, then piled in the basin with hot water drawn upon them. By following this method, when they have to remain unwashed while the maid is otherwise engaged, nothing will dry upon them while standing — the water pre- vents it — they will be easily and quickly cleansed with less risk of breaking. If familiarized with her duties the maid will be neatly dressed and entirely ready when the moment for serving dinner arrives. The great secret of doing anything well is first knowing how to do it, and next knowing that you know how. The first is absolutely essential, the second gives one confidence and its twin senti- ment — serenity. The maid thus equipped will be easy in mind and therefore level-headed while performing her part. Where there are invited guests all the diners 176 HOUSE AND HOME assemble in the drawing room before the ap- pointed dinner hour. It is customary to an- nounce the dinner instead of ringing a bell. The maid should be given a practical lesson to assure her doing this very simple thing with pro- priety. Let her instructor exchange places with her for a few moments. Send her to the draw- ing room, then follow, and, standing at the door entrance, say quietly: " Madam, dinner is served." At once return to the dining room and take a stand at the back of the hostess' chair. Request the maid to come and take a seat, that she may learn how to seat anyone. As she approaches draw the chair back just far enough for her to pass in between it and the table. As she sits down move the chair gently forward under her, so that she will be seated easily without touching it herself. Then go yourself to the drawing room and let her announce the dinner to you — in precisely the same way that you did in giving her the lesson — and return, in advance of you, to the dining room and seat you when you arrive. One practical lesson is of more value than many experiments with only verbal instructions and verbal corrections. As soon as you are seated and have taken the bread and napkin off your plate, she should be WAITING ON TABLE 177 ready to set an oyster-plate before you. Let your laying down the fork on the plate be the signal for her to change the plate, precisely as if it had been used and must be washed later. Next let her bring the soup-tureen, place it, remove the cover carefully, turning it upside down as she takes it off to carry it to the side-table, because if there were hot soup in the tureen there would be drops of moisture on the inside of the cover that might fall upon the tablecloth or the floor when she is carrying it away. She should return immediately to hold the soup plate conveniently near for you to put a ladle of soup in it and then set it down on the cold plate before you. Soup plates should not be more than two- thirds full to be passed with no danger of an ac- cident. When served by the hostess the person at her right hand gets the first helping. When you lay the soup spoon down in the plate that is the signal for her to take it away and, after she has removed the soup-tureen, bring on the next course. She should place the meat platter first, then bring and hold the hot plate with a napkin in her hand under it while you appear to put a slice of the roast upon the plate. Immediately before setting it down before you she should take up the 178 HOUSE AND HOME cold plate — making the exchange so deftly that you will not be one moment without a plate of some sort, hot or cold, before you. This order obtains throughout the entire service of a well- ordered dinner. Setting the cold plate aside, she immediately passes the vegetable dishes uncovered, a table- spoon in each one, and so placed that when she holds the dish for you to help yourself the handle of the spoon will be directly towards your right hand, for you to take it with entire ease. When passing vegetables the bowl of the spoon should be ready, holding one helping. In handing any- thing for people to help themselves the waitress goes invariably to the left. The propriety and convenience of this will be promptly recognized because the diners are thus enabled to use the right hand in serving themselves. Carelessness in this one particular marks the inexperienced and absolutely untrained waitress. But in fill- ing glasses, which the maid does herself, she goes to the right and fills without taking them up. No glass should be filled above a half-inch from its brim. Teach her to avoid letting a drop fall upon the cloth. As she stops pouring she should touch the edge of the glass with the spout of the pitcher or the mouth of the decanter, or bottle, WAITING ON TABLE 179 thus leaving the last drop in the glass just filled. When you lay your knife and fork side by side down upon your plate the waitress knows that she may make the exchange. (It is awkward, there- fore bad form, to lay the knife and fork down sprawling, and those who do so risk an accident and may confuse even an accomplished waitress.) The next course being salad, the maid, w T hen ex- changing, gives you a cold plate. Salad is handed in the same manner as the vegetables, the salad fork and spoon-handles towards the diner, and, when there is actual service, the fork with a few leaves of salad upon it and the spoon, ready to hold them in transit from the bowl to your plate. But, if the salad is some- thing chopped or cut, then the spoon should be holding a portion. Every dish should be held near, and low, enough for one to serve one's self with ease. This cannot be too strongly empha- sized. Tell the learner that all these seeming trifles, carefully observed, constitute a. deft and competent waitress. It is a good plan to have the waitress use a napkin, all the time, partially un- folded and covering her hand while the dish at the same time rests upon it. During the progress of the dinner, whenever i8o HOUSE AND HOME anyone wants more bread the waitress should be alert to see — and supply it from the plate upon the side table. She should bring the plate of bread with a fork to the diner's right side and, using the fork herself, put a piece of bread down on the*tablecloth beside the diner. (The height of good service is where one's wants are antici- pated and the waiting is at once attentive and un- obtrusive. ) There are two ways of serving roasts: one where carving is done on the dinner table, the other where it is done at the side table by the waitress. There is an advantage in the latter method, because then each person can make a selection according to his or her taste for rare or well done, white or dark, meat. When this way of serving is followed, slices of the roast should be daintily placed on a moderate-sized platter easy to hold and to pass around. If carving is done on the dinner table, the maid should stand at the carver's left and take away each plate as he lays a piece of meat upon it. In the proper order of helping she sets the first down before the host's right-hand guest, and then continues on around the table from that point until she returns to the carver, who is the last one helped. This simple method avoids con- WAITING ON TABLE 181 fusion and the possibility of overlooking any- one. While the diners are discussing the roast and vegetables the maid stands quietly, but watch- fully, near the hostess, observing quickly when anyone seems ready for a second helping, and promptly removes plates of those who lay down the knife and fork. Salad being the last course in our little menu before dessert, when all the plates have been re- moved she clears the table of everything belong- ing to that part of the dinner already served, but leaves all decorations, bonbons, and other little dainties and everything belonging to the dessert. Of course all glasses remain until the dinner is over. At this time the large nap- kin at the carver's place and the one under the soup tureen are taken away so carefully as not to drop a single crumb. This is done by first putting each of the four corners toward the center of the napkin and then deftly gathering it up, while keeping the corners in the napkin's center, and allowing no part to fall open. This be- comes easy after two or three experiments that should be made beforehand when no meal is in progress. Next in order use the plate and fork for removing all pieces of bread left by the i82 HOUSE AND HOME diners. Then every crumb should be carefully removed with a crumb-scraper and tray. If these are not to be had, a large dinner plate and an unfolded and softly crumpled napkin serve that purpose. When the table is free from all signs of the dinner and in perfect order it is ready for the dessert, whatever it may be. In bringing the plates, already arranged for this part of the din- ner on the side table, she should be careful to set each one down with the knife side of the plate at the right of each person ; by so doing every- thing else will be in its proper place ; the fork at the left, the spoon across the front of the plate. Each person — when the plates are before all — quietly sets the finger bowl on the table in front of the plate and the doily, at the same time be- tween the bowl and the tablecloth, taking up as little room as possible with individual con- venience and never intruding upon the neighbor's space at right or left. The dessert is then passed in the same way as all that has already been served. When there is pudding or a pie they should be cut, before passing, and a spoon or a pie knife should be under a piece ready each time it is handed. The maid has time to place them as she leaves one already helped to go to the next. WAITING ON TABLE 183 Ice cream is handed in the same way ; glass plates are generally used for it. They are always set upon the china dessert plate, then the doily is under — and the finger bowl upon — the glass plate. Fruit is last before the black coffee, which is served in very small cups about two-thirds full. Sugar and cream are passed for people to help themselves. After-dinner coffee is usually served without cream as most people like it sweetened only, but, as it is always possible for someone to prefer a little cream too, a considerate hostess will see that it is offered. The manner of holding anything for people to help themselves is one mark of a good waitress. Without awkwardness she should hold everything loiv enough for people to help themselves without reaching, near enough to avoid spilling, and per- fectly steady while waiting for them to take what- ever they desire. No matter how inattentive a guest may be the waitress never speaks when on duty, but the ever-watchful hostess says politely, to the seemingly unconscious one, as the maid waits, " Will you not take — " mentioning at the same time whatever the waitress may be holding. Some prefer to have the coffee after they leave the table. In that case it is taken to the drawing i8 4 HOUSE AND HOME room when all have assembled there. In this each mistress suits herself. No one should rise from the dinner table until the hostess makes the move by rising herself. Emergencies may compel a transgression of this rule of good table manners. The person obliged to leave should ask to be excused and go as quietly as possible, to avoid causing a distraction or a break in the conversation. Matters of etiquette and what is called good form, at least that are maintained for a long time and not the caprice of fashion, are usually preservers of propriety and conservers of the general comfort of people in their association with each other. Whatever does not promote the general comfort of a family and conduce to orderly routine and agreeable man- ners should be ignored as undesirable. On the other hand, whatever prevents awkwardness or friction of any sort should be cultivated. Good table manners, as well as good manners every- where along life's road, tend to refine and smooth what is otherwise a pretty rough way. They make all serving easier. In training a new maid in table-waiting it is wise to have her initial steps taken at some of the simpler meals, breakfast or luncheon. Accustom her to the dining room by degrees, if you would WAITING ON TABLE 185 have her do credit to her instructor and herself, enjoy being taught nice ways, and further be per- fectly at home there when you have guests. Strangeness always causes embarrassment. Everyone knows how quickly embarrassment or anxiety will confuse one and make a simple everyday affair go wrong. Awkward service has spoiled many a hostess' appetite and dissipated all her anticipated pleasure by turning the dinner hour into a period of torturing suspense. Whoever wants a meal nicely served, even by an expert waitress, should remember that she can- not wait upon more than six people at dinner without apparent haste. Haste always detracts from the propriety and dignity of the serving. A good waitress is swift, but appears in no hurry unless too much is expected of her. U CHAPTER FIFTEEN tJ CHILDREN'S PLACE AND RIGHTS IN THEIR OWN HOME Two obstreperous children. Children's right to be well born. Defrauded little ones. A happy child with a firm mother. A children's room. Children's money. n ,OME people whom I once knew had two obstreperous children who were allowed to domi- neer over everyone in the house who dared not resist their tyranny. A naughty, disagree- able little girl of eight years could order her meals as she pleased, and change her order several times during the hour immediately pre- ceding the meal. At one moment she thought that she would have it upstairs in the nursery, with her brother, who was confined to the house with a cold. Then, after a squabble with that brother, she rang the bell, and directed the ser- vant answering it to tell the butler that she would dine downstairs with the family. As her 186 CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 187 brother was her only playmate, she had to make up with him very soon ; again a new order would go to the pantry: " Miss Dimple would have her dinner sent up." And so on up to the dinner hour. In the absence of her foolish parents, someone, who was left in charge of the house, and, incidentally, of those little imps also, once undertook to thwart that small but incor- rigible girl, and directed that her last order be carried out just as she was giving a new one. She hung over the stairway listening to a colloquy between the butler and two others, and heard the man told that she could not give so many orders, whereupon the depraved child flung herself face downward upon the stairway and roared. The butler was so scared that ne declared she should have her dinner wherever she pleased to order it. He afterwards remarked he would " do whatever those children ordered, for he meant to keep his place." Does anyone need to be informed that their parents w T ere entirely to blame ? There was a big boy, also, in the same family, who now and then had a difference of opinion w T ith his father, and tried to settle it by force of arms, not fire-arms, but a regular fisti- cuff encounter. The first and only time that I heard or knew anything about these doings, I 188 HOUSE AND HOME was puzzling over some strange sounds that I heard in the hall below my own room ; a scuffling and a very hard breathing led me to ask a maid, who had been longer in the house than I, what was going on below. This was her answer: " Oh, it is Master H. trying to lick his father; he often does that." The Heavenly Twins were crying with fright in the nursery that opened into that hall. I afterwards learned that the fracas began in the nursery. I also observed that the doting parent and his eldest-born did not speak for a couple of days. They made up only -to go through the same disgraceful combat again and again. To the maids it was a matter- of-course periodical performance. The wise father said to one who remonstrated with him re- garding the little girl's disorderly orders: " This is my children's home, and they shall do as they please in it." Fortunately for the world at large, and for homes generally, there are not many parents quite so" insanely indulgent to every whim and caprice of their children. Such a course is positively cruel to children who might be a source of interest and pleasure to friends and relatives and also to the domestics in their homes, but who become nuisances wherever they go because of their parents' short-sighted folly. The most lam- CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 189 entable results come into the poor children's experiences, because they grow more and more unlovely, until their nearest relatives, .sometimes even their % parents, are glad to have them out of their sight. Those children's parents were as weak mentally as they were strong financially. Their children could have been easily managed by almost any firm and judicious person who really desired them to grow up useful and admirable characters. They were not specimens of the doc- trine of total depravity ; they possessed, and occa- sionally evinced, some fine traits, but they were so warped by their parents' over-indulgence they grew day by day more and more spoiled, more and more troublesome, and, young even as they were, positively brutal at times in their con- duct to everyone of whom they were not afraid. Those numbered in the last class were few. The worst of it all was that they never spoke the truth if they thought a falsehood would serve them better. They were the only children that I ever came in contact with that I could not even like. No resident governess stayed over a week in the house. Two came within three weeks, an interval of a week between the depar- ture of the first and the arrival of the second. Various were the experiments tried for educating iqo HOUSE AND HOME them. As this was many years ago, I cannot now say with what results, but since there is no royal road to mental culture many millions could be of no use to such children so far as their education was concerned. It requires very little imagination or seer's gift to foretell the general trend of their unhappy lives. Children, as a rule, have a keen, natural sense of justice, and very early discern between right and wrong. They are prompt to discover the difference between example and precept. It is very little use to tell them that they must always speak the truth, if they see and hear their elders doing exactly the opposite. They follow their seniors' examples, while precepts only voiced and not instilled in the conscience by corresponding examples, go in one ear and out of the other, but examples are powerful beyond all words. Then, too, children are incisive judges of consist- ency. The little nephew of a friend of mine was found crying, because, as he explained, his father had told him that he must never strike a boy smaller than himself because it was cowardly, " but," said the little fellow, " my father struck me, and he is a man, a great deal bigger than I am. I was a naughty boy, I struck my sister; but my father was a very naughty man when ht CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 191 struck me." Ponder that, ye parents, who quote: " Spare the rod and spoil the child." And by the way, you will not find that proverb in the Bible, if you hunt from Genesis to Revelation. Parents who cannot train their children without resorting to brute force are exactly what the little boy said of his irate father, " very naughty." Blows are commonly the result of anger. Angry people are, for the time being, insane — not sane — off poise — unbalanced, and then entirely unfit to manage children because they cannot control themselves. The children that get whipped are those whose parents have neglected their duty to them, and let them become, as they express it, " unmanageable." Those children of whom I told in the opening of this chapter sometimes got severely whipped, and their screams could be heard over the house. Really, the ones that deserved punishment were their parents. And they have probably been getting it as the children grew older. The rod that descends upon parents because of their offspring's misdeeds is the hard- est, most stinging of all, for it cuts the very heart. Children have rights as well as place in their own homes. Their rights should be held sacred against all invasion. The first right of all chil- dren is to be well born, and that means thought- i92 HOUSE AND HOME fully planned for long before their arrival. They have a right to be cordially welcomed and joy- fully anticipated by both parents. When this is not the case it proves cruel wrong done by someone. Another right of which children are too often defrauded by their own parents is the right to good constitutions. No amount of money can ever compensate a child for coming into the world with a poor body. Life on this earth is of little worth without health and strength for the battle. Our strenuous President to the contrary, notwithstanding, I declare that quality is of more value to our country than quantity. And a large family without health and means for culture is a tax to the nation and no credit to the parents. It is absurd to brag of the number of your children, if you cannot also point to their usefulness to the world, because they are fitted to do good work in it. The place where we see the most children is down in the slums and in the most abjectly wretched portions of the city. I shall never forget my trip to the East Side of New York, where men, women, and children are huddled too closely together to ob- serve any of the decencies of life. There the pasty faces of the swarms of poor little children made me sick at heart. The recollection is like a CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 193 nightmare now, as I think of it. The children over there have been defrauded of all their rights. They know not what it is to be children. To them childish joys and childish sorrows are alike unknown. The word home is as foreign in that quarter as are home pleasures. It had been better for them all if they had never been born; better for the municipality, and better for the credit of this nation. There is nothing in the world more beautiful, engaging, and delightful than a nice, bright child that is amenable to reason and prompt in obedience to lawful authority. I heard a little girl say to a playmate, who wanted her to beg her mother to let her do something that she had refused once: " No, I shall not ask again. When mamma says no, she means it, and I know there is no use in begging her." The child was per- fectly cheerful about the decision. She went on to say: "If mamma says, ' Well now, do you think you had better ? ' then I know that there is some chance for me to persuade her." I am certain that I never knew a happier child- life than that little girl led. And I am also certain that she never had a whipping in all her life, nor even a punishment. A child has confi- dence in one who is always kind and always firm. i94 HOUSE AND HOME When children begin to think and to compare — and they do this very early — then is the time to begin to teach them to do what is right, be- cause it is right , and to avoid what they know to be wrong, because it is wrong. This cultivates individuality and a sense of personal responsi- bility, far better for their characters than obey- ing anyone's rules and regulations simply because of their relative positions. Children taught to govern themselves need very few rules laid down for them. Theirs is not eye service, because they learn instinctively to listen for, and obey, the monitor that is within them. The parent who says to a child, " Do it because / tell you to," makes a grave mistake. That is an assumption of authority which must, in the very nature of things, be ephemeral, or, if not, so much the worse for both parent and child, for it makes a tyrant of one and a tool of the other, if parental domination continue after children reach mature years. Every child born into the world is an in- dividualized entity, physically related to its par- ents and other connections, but the soul using the fleshly organism can never be claimed by any human being. Ownership, or coercion of, a soul is impossible. The sooner parents realize this the better for fathers, and mothers, and CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 195 children. Then the desire to rule will be super- seded by a much higher aim, the aim to develop all that is finest in their characters. Very young children must obey, but as they grow older it becomes less and less important if they have had good examples set them by their elders, and if they have been taught the first principles of living uprightly and, therefore, fearlessly and frankly. It is safe to say that quite as many children have been spoiled by over-training as by over-in- dulgence. If parents want to keep their children out of mischief they must provide suitable occu- pation for their time. The happiest and best- mannered children that I have known were those whose days were mapped out for them even in babyhood ; they always had something to do, from rising until bedtime, and life was never monotonous to them because they had constantly something to look forward to. Lessons, walks, and recreation filled up the hours between their meal times. There was an hour for each and all, and the times were strictly adhered to. Play did not interfere with lessons, and lessons never inter- rupted the play time. In fact, their lives were orderly. A little chap of seven would sometimes say: " I have fifteen minutes to spare; will you play with me, Miss C. ?" The little son of a 196 HOUSE AND HOME friend of mine used to weary his mother asking her what he should do. One day he came with his usual question, and she said : " Why don't you go around and see grandpa and grandma?" 11 Well, if I do," said the boy, " I'll just kiss them all around, and then there'll be nothing to do." Children love to feel that they are useful and can help along. They like to work, too, if not kept too long at one thing. In households where the domestic service is insufficient to ac- complish all the work that must be done, chil- dren can be made very useful without wearying them. Little tiny tots can be taught to use a dust-cloth and do very thorough work with it. The little boy that sometimes had " fifteen min- utes to spare " from his well-filled day thought it was great fun to go into the library, when the men were giving the books a thorough dusting, and with a cheese-cloth duster lend a hand. It is very true that " All work and no play will make Jack a dull boy." And it is equally true that all play, no work, and no system w r ill make a bright child dull. Worse yet, no routine and no method make the most troublesome and insub- ordinate children. But some parents may ob- ject: "We are too busy to spend so much time CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 197 and thought on our children's occupations, or to lay out their time so methodically, filling every waking hour with something special for them to do. We have other and very important things to think of and do." There is but one answer to such objections. Children are not thrust upon their parents. Their upbringing is the most im- portant thing in their parents' and their own lives. It is one of their inalienable rights to be well brought up. And no child is well brought up that is not taught by its own experience very early in life the value of time and the value of money. Just so soon as a child can ask for a penny to spend, it should have an allowance and be taught to use a portion of it for giving. No matter how few, if the child ever has pennies given it by its parents it should know just how many pennies it can have a month. They should be given on a certain regular date and at no other time. Children should be taught to keep an ac- count of every penny spent and also taught to try to improve the way of spending by remembering what gave the most satisfaction in the past, but nobody should insist upon telling them how to spend their own money. This is another of their rights. A friend of mine gave a five-dollar gold piece to her little granddaughter when she was 198 HOUSE AND HOME on a visit to the child's parents. The little girl's mother immediately conceived the idea of spend- ing the money for the child, that is, she wanted to dictate to her what she should buy with it. The little girl had made up her mind that she would give half of it to her brother, and spend the other half herself. She felt that it was her personal property, to do with as she pleased. So the mother said to the grandmother: " I do wish that you would use your influence with Gladys and induce her to spend that five dollars the way that I want her to." The grandmother did not feel like complying; she thought it indelicate, after making a present to the child, to meddle with her plans for disposing of it, but she was averse to refusing the mother's request, and there- fore, when next they met, she said : " Gladys, what are you going to do with that five dollars that I gave you? " The child told her just what she had told her mother. Then the grandmother reluctantly said : " Don't you think that you had better spend it the way your mother wants you to? " Putting her hand in her pocket, and pro- ducing the gold piece, the child handed it to her grandmother, saying: " Take it, grandma, I don't want it." The grandmother told me that she felt very mean arwi wished that she had let CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 199 her granddaughter alone to do as she pleased with the present. Another friend told me of a little boy that she knew who had twenty-five cents given to him. Of course, he began to spend it mentally without delay. When he told his mother that he intended to buy a kite with his money, she said: " Oh, I wouldn't spend it for that! " So he gave the kite up. A little while after he told his father that he had made up his mind to buy a top. And forthwith his father remarked : " Oh, don't spend it for a top ! " And he did not. When out walk- ing with his auntie he saw something in a store window marked twenty-five cents. He wanted it, and he had the money for it. So he said to his aunt, " I think I'll go into that store and buy that ball." But his auntie exclaimed: " Oh, I wouldn't spend twenty-five cents for that ! " The youngster walked on; then he asked his aunt these questions: " Auntie, is this twenty-five cents my mother's money?" " No," said she. " Is it my father's? " " No." " Is it yours? " ' Why, no, of course not." " Is it my twenty- five cents?" "Certainly, it is yours." "Well, then, d the twenty-five cents," said the boy; " I'm going to throw it over into that open lot." And he suited the action to his declaration, and 2oo HOUSE AND HOME sent the silver coin spinning over into the lot that they were passing. Of course, no one ap- proves of his expletive, but he probably had heard it from his father; children do not invent those words. These two authentic anecdotes show the folly of interfering with children's rights. In each case the elders lost the respect of the children. And in each case likewise it gave the children a s sense of contempt for those who should above all have won their respect, by deserving it. Children whose rights are scrupulously regarded will nat- urally learn to respect the rights of others. There is nothing in families, between neighbors, and between nations, that causes so much dis- cord as meddling with the rights of others. Homes where there are children ought to be brighter and happier than those unblessed by their presence. When this is not the case it proves that there has been great negligence on the part of those directly responsible for the in- fluences and examples brought to bear upon the children at the most impressionable age. Rude and troublesome children are the cause of con- fusion, destruction, and unhappiness wherever they go. But the cause back of all their mis- conduct is traceable to those who have had the CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 201 first opportunity for, and who have failed sig- nally in, doing their duty by them. Why do so many proprietors of apartment houses and flats bar out people with children? Is it the fault of the little ones that they do so much mischief and are so insubordinate and un- mannerly that no one wants them about their premises? In Japan the children never damage beautiful things that stand outside of the houses. In Germany they do not need rules to keep the parks decent. They are taught better than to deface and destroy everything that they touch. There is no reason at all why children should be nuisances to all except their own immediate rela- tives. All children are not so. The approach of some little ones is a delight to those who know them. For, unquestionably, as the most engag- ing, charming object in the world is a nice, bright child with good manners, so the most unfor- tunate object in the world is an unlovely child that people generally avoid. Children have a right to live the life of chil- dren. In their home they ought to have, if pos- sible, at least one room where they can have the utmost freedom consistent with health and safety. In that room there should be nothing that re- quires special care. There they should keep 202 HOUSE AND HOME their playthings. And there they ought to be taught to leave everything when they are done playing. It is a great mistake not to make them learn habits of order — a place for everything, and everything in its place when not in use. They soon discover the advantage of knowing where to find their belongings instead of leaving their toys an)'where, just as they may happen to drop them. In the playroom children should have corners or particular spots especially their own, and there they can begin to learn the dif- ference between what is theirs and what is not. (Brothers and sisters do considerable gratuitous training of one another.) Of course, some are naturally more orderly than others, but the fact that every child as soon as it goes to school learns immediately to use its own desk, carry its own books, and occupy the place assigned to it, proves that it could do as much in its own home, if also taught there. The greatest obstacle to children's training seems to be the indolence of their parents, or their weak fondness for them that makes them so short-sighted regarding the real happiness of their little ones. There is one thing that should be unstinted in dealing with children, and that is praise for all the good that they do, and warm appreciation of CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 203 their efforts to do right. And no one should ever say to any child, " You are bad." That is the way to cultivate just what you do not want to see in them. Let them know that you expect the best and are surprised w T hen they fail to ful- fill your expectations. Then they will be much more likely to try to live up to the ideal that they know you hold for them. Above all, let there be nothing artificial in the children's lives. Charles Wagner has put it so well that before closing this chapter I give his own words: " Falsehood is the vice of a slave, the refuge of the cowardly and the weak. He who is free is strong and unflinching in speech. We should encourage in our children the hardi- hood to speak frankly. What do we ordinarily do? We trample on natural disposition, level it down tc# the uniformity which, for the crowd, is synonymous with good form. To think with one's own mind, feel with one's own heart, ex- press one's own personality — how unconven- tional, how rustic! Oh, the atrocity of an edu- cation which consists in the perpetual muzzling of the only thing that gives any of us his reason for being! Of how many soul murders do we become guilty! Some are struck down with bludgeons, others gently smothered with pillows! 2o 4 HOUSE AND HOME Everything conspires against independence of character. When we are little, people wish us to be dolls or graven images; when we grow up they approve of us on condition that we are like all the rest of the world: when you have seen one of them you have seen them all. Truth can free us from this bondage: let our children be taught to be themselves, to ring clear, without crack or muffle. Make loyalty a need in them, and in their gravest failures, if only they ac- knowledge them, count it for merit that they have not covered their sin. "To frankness let us add ingenuousness, in our solicitude as educators. We must not frighten it away: when it has once fled it so rarely comes back. Ingenuousness is not simply the sister of truth, the guardian of the individual qualities of each one of us; it is besides a great informing and educating force. I see among us too many practi- cal people, so called, who go about armed with terrifying spectacles and huge shears to ferret out naive things and clip their wings. They uproot ingenuousness from life, from thought, from edu- cation, and pursue it even to the region of dreams. Under pretext of making men of their children, they prevent their being children at all ; as if, before the ripe fruit of autumn, flowers did CHILDREN'S RIGHTS 205 not have to be, and perfumes, and songs of birds, and all the fairy springtime. " I ask indulgence for everything naive and simple, not alone for the innocent conceits that flutter round the curly heads of children, but also for the legend, the folk song, the tales of the world of marvel and mystery. The sense of the marvelous is in the child, the first form of that sense of the infinite without which a man is like a bird deprived of wings. Let us not wean the child from it, but let us guard in him the faculty of rising above what is earthy, so that he may appreciate later on those pure and moving sym- bols of vanished ages wherein human truth has found forms of expression that our arid logic will never replace." It is, indeed, too true that some of the elders endeavor to muzzle a child's thoughts, and muffle all its ingenuousness. Instead of teaching the child to think and govern its own thoughts they try to suppress thought in the child and tell it what to think and what not to think. Without accomplishing what they try to do, they never- theless do incalculable mischief that takes a life- time for the child to outgrow. Some children are too independent to allow anyone to assume do- minion over their thought. They are like the 2o6 HOUSE AND HOME little girl who was told by her mother, her aunt, and her grandmother, successively, that she must not express an uncomplimentary opinion that she had formed about one of her mother's callers. " Well," at last said the child, " I think so." " But you must not think so," commanded her elders. " You can boss my talk, but you cannot boss my think," replied the little girl. And she was right. u CHAPTER SIXTEEN* U HOME NURSING Persons acceptable to the sick. Neglected colds. Value of good home nursing. Temperature. Pulse. Respiration. The clinical thermometer. Taking the pulse. Respiration. V s OME persons seem to have a genius for nursing and are never so happy as when ministering to the sick. They know intuitively, much — that others learn only by careful training — about ways of making an invalid as comfortable as possible. But how- ever natural one's aptitude in caring for the sick, there are always improved methods and new in- ventions, for ameliorating a patient's suffering, to be learned of, especially from those who make nursing a profession. It sometimes happens that one who most dearly loves the sick person is less * These chapters are largely composed of extracts from Miss Eveleen Harrison's valuable little book on " Home Nursing." All readers interested in the subject are referred to that book for fuller information upon the subject. 207 2o8 HOUSE AND HOME acceptable as nurse than a stranger who under- stands better what is wanted to make the sufferer comfortable. We cannot all of us be trained nurses, but all who desire to do so can easily be- come acquainted with much that is practical, and with part of the curriculum of the course of one who is training for the profession. Before taking up the subject it may be well to say a few prefatory words upon the wisdom of using preventive measures to ward off a threatened illness. In the majority of cases this could be done by taking that ounce of prevention which so many neglect until it is too late. The already quoted proverb: " Joy and temperance and repose slam the door on the doctor's nose," is again pertinent. Joy, temperance, repose, all three, are health-giving and health-conserving, but here it is purposed to lay stress upon the incalculable importance first, of temperance; next, of proper and timely rest. By giving up and going quietly to bed for a day or two, or even for only a few hours sometimes, one may avoid what, without that little precaution, might prove a serious and long attack, with its retinue of aches and pains, drugs, and doctors unwelcome bills — cure or no cure. They are as certain to be called for as taxes. HOME NURSING 209 It is especially true with regard to colds in their early stages simply by rest, warmth, and a good, long sleep, they can be sent speedily to the realm of nothingness, for there is no storage place outside the human organism for the preser- vation of aches or any fleshly ills, past, present, or future. Neglected colds lead to all sorts of suffering and to almost every known ailment, if in no other way by depleting the system and getting it in a receptive condition to fall an easy prey to dis-ease. Therefore it is well to realize the vital impor- tance of getting quickly rid of a cold while it is in the incipient stage and easy to conquer, instead of permitting it to progress and develop into some serious indisposition. A good, long sleep in a warm, but thoroughly ventilated, room has often proved both a tonic and a cure. To break up a cold it is all-important that the ailing one should rest quietly for hours, letting the vital forces take absolute possession of the citadel of being and control the situation. Good home nursing given in season is of great value in every family, because it immediately checks and promptly conquers a threatened ill- ness. But inexperienced or untrained people seldom nurse wisely. In the case of colds, and 2io HOUSE AND HOME in many other cases also, good nursing is shown by such a wise adjustment of conditions and en- vironment that Nature is given every oppor- tunity to restore the lost balance without delay, or drugs. It is impossible to overestimate the power of our natural forces, when they are encouraged and given full sway, or their imperative claim to entire dominion w T hile they are contending with abnormal conditions that we have brought upon ourselves by lack of poise. Henry Wood says: " Pain is friendly." Assuredly it is so, because it admonishes and calls a halt from some sort of intemperance. Reckless people need to be reminded that the sin of intemperance is not confined to drunkards or liquor-drinking. There is more intemperance in eating than in drinking. Still more in pleasure- seeking of all sorts. Intemperance in business pursuits is one of the crying sins of this day. There is intemperance in work of all sorts — in- temperance in study and intellectual culture, in- temperance in religion and in charitable work. True, the last two are not as ominous or as wide- spread as any of the others. But the point is that any intemperance is sure sooner or later to cause pain, disease, weakness, and these announce HOME NURSING 211 emphatically to the sufferer that dfs-order is reigning within because it has been allowed to usurp the place of order. Pain is caused by the contention for supremacy between natural, there- fore divine, order and that which is abnormal, consequently unfit to continue. The battle be- tween the normal and the abnormal always causes pain. It is said by those who make a study of disease that often dangerous conditions exist before pain announces the battle on. If these are facts, then we may realize the great importance of siding with the lawful health- restoring — therefore natural — forces, instead of thwarting their beneficent efforts for restoration by our continued intemperance. Frequently ab- solute rest is the first condition that must be yielded to by the one who is out of order. That little phrase is most expressive. There are very few people, no matter what their station in life, who do not find themselves at some time so situated that they would be very glad to know some of the first principles of good nursing. Moreover there are a greaUmany who find the cost of a trained nurse a heavy tax upon a limited purse. And all would like to be able to judge of the competency of one coming in as a total stranger to take charge of their dear 2i2 HOUSE AND HOME ones. For these and many other reasons a book with the title " House and Home " should throw some light on the subject of home nursing and point the w r ay for those who would gladly avail themselves of every valuable hint leading to further knowledge. In cases of severe or protracted illness the services of a capable nurse count for more than the doctor's visits. Good nursing without any doctor is more desirable than a doctor in regular attendance with a poor nurse or none at all. The patient depends upon the nurse for clean- liness, pure air, proper nourishment, and almost every comfort. These all go a long way towards promoting the sufferer's ease and restoring health. In what are considered chronic cases the nurse is really the all-important factor in an invalid's room. No matter how, when, or where the nurse gains experience and becomes skilled in caring for the sick, every family should have one or more who do know what ought to be done and what ought to be avoided in the room of an invalid. The requisite knowledge is now broadcast throughout the length and breadth of the land so that he who runs may read. Hardly any family is there without at least one, if not HOME NURSING 213 more than one, trained nurse amongst its relatives or connections. The writer had two nieces who trained to be professional nurses. Both after- wards married and went to their new duties well equipped for the responsibilities and cares of a family. Before the younger one married she was so much in demand amongst her own rela- tives that a young married woman of the family proposed that the relatives should " charter her " and retain her services for themselves, be- cause it was always such a disappointment if, when they wanted her, she happened to be en- gaged on an outside case. A paid trained nurse in constant attendance upon one family is strictly the rich man's luxury. Even a nurse chartered by several relatives might be needed in more than one family at once. After all, there is nothing so valuable as personal knowledge. It generates courage and independ- ence that money can never buy. Everyone ought to make it a business to learn as much as possible about a trained nurse's duties and be able, if necessary, to do without a professional nurse in all ordinary cases. The following hints and directions will be found useful to all those who desire to inform themselves about the chief points that necessarily should be observed by one who 2i 4 HOUSE AND HOME is caring for an invalid, or who has the charge of a case of temporary indisposition: TEMPERATURE AND THE USE OF THE CLINICAL THERMOMETER " The normal temperature of the body is 98.4 F. The normal pulse is 72 beats to the minute. The respiration is 18 breaths to the minute." Temperature, respiration, and pulse, these three, give trustworthy testimony regarding the condition of the human organism at all times. When any part of the system is out of order the temperature immediately registers the fact. A degree above or below the normal mark, unless induced by some immediate mental cause, such as fright or temporary excitement, is an alarm signal that cannot be ignored with im- punity. It is a proof that the fight has be- gun between the true and the false, between right and wrong, between what is natural and what is unnatural. Everything depends upon which side the sufferer really works with. " A rise in the temperature, or an increase of pulse and respiration in a child, is not as impor- tant as in an adult. Children, as a rule, have a higher normal mark than adults. Women are apt to have a slightly higher temperature than HOME NURSING 215 men." Individual temperament influences, and there is apt to be a slight variation above or below the average according to whether one is an easy- going, placid person or of a nervous, excitable disposition. For this reason it is important for the nurse to know each individual's normal tem- perature and pulse. Without this knowledge one might mistake a normal for an abnormal condition. " Before using a clinical thermometer shake it carefully (holding the bulb end downwards) until the mercury falls below the mark 97 ; then insert the bulb end in your patient's mouth, well under the tongue, make him close the lips firmly, so that no air will enter, and leave it there for a full three minutes. Unless the lips are kept tightly closed all the time you will not get the true temperature of the body. At the end of three minutes remove the thermometer and note carefully the exact number where the mercury stands on the thermometer. " Before using the thermometer invariably wash it in cold water. After you have finished also invariably dip it in alcohol or some disin- fectant solution, to keep it clean and to guard against infection. " In fever cases the thermometer should be 2i6 HOUSE AND HOME kept standing in alcohol — a piece of soft cotton in the bottom of the glass to prevent breaking it. Always, before inserting it in the mouth, it should be rinsed off in cold water. " The temperature of our bodies varies at dif- ferent hours of the day. It is always higher in the afternoon than in the morning. Its highest point is usually between 4 and 6 p. M. Its lowest point is between 2 and 4 A. M. " Take your patient's temperature as nearly as possible at the same hour of the morning and evening. Only by observing this rule will you be able to keep an accurate record of the changes of temperature. " A half an hour at least should elapse after meals before the temperature is taken, because stimulating meats and drinks tend to elevate the temperature for a while. " For twenty minutes before using the ther- mometer by mouth the patient should not have a hot or cold drink, or any ice; any of these would prevent your getting the exact temper- ature. " Temperature by the rectum always registers about half a degree higher than when taken by the mouth. " With children who will not keep their HOME NURSING 217 mouths firmly closed for three minutes, with de- lirious or unconscious adults, and in typhoid- fever cases the rectal temperature is more accurate. " In taking rectal temperature, after shaking the mercury far below 97°, cover the bulb with olive oil or vaselin, and with the patient lying on the left side, insert the thermometer about an inch and a half into the rectum. Hold it there three minutes. " In the case of a child amuse it or distract its attention to prevent its crying, as that would elevate the temperature." The clinical thermometer is a very useful little implement, but overanxious people are prone to use it too much. It is possible to cause or to prolong illness by too much devotion to that small instrument. Avoid subservience to any- thing, however useful it may be when serving its legitimate purpose. TAKING THE PULSE. SEVENTY-TWO BEATS TO THE MINUTE NORMAL " The pulse is counted by placing the first and second ringer of one hand lightly on the inside ot your patient's wrist. After pressing gently, but firmly, you will feel in a few seconds the 2i8 HOUSE AND HOME steady beat of the pulse. Time the beat by the watch. Count by the half minute and double the result, or count for a full minute. It is al- ways best to take the pulse twice in succession to be sure of making no mistake. Sometimes, when the patient is asleep, the pulse may be counted in the temple better than in the wrist." " In nervous and excitable people the pulse sometimes varies according to their feelings." A capable nurse understands temperaments as well as temperatures. " When the temperature and the pulse rise at the same time and do not subside in a couple of hours, it is almost certain that there is trouble somewhere that may not safely be ignored." RESPIRATION. EIGHTEEN BREATHS TO THE MINUTE NORMAL " Count the respiration without the knowledge of the patient. If conscious that you are watch- ing it will be impossible for him to breathe naturally. " If not distinct during sleep, you can easily feel the rise and fall of the chest by placing your hand upon it. Respiration below twelve or above thirty to the minute is a danger signal that should be watched." HOME NURSING 219 "The temperature, pulse, and respiration taken with the patient in a recumbent restful position will be more accurate than if standing or sitting. " During sleep the pulse is a little slower than when one is awake. This should be borne in mind when taking the pulse." u CHAPTER SEVENTEEN U HOME NURSING (continued). The bed. Pillows. Sheets. Rubber sheet. Light-weight bed- spread. Clothing freshly aired. Sunlight the healer and puri- fier. Temperature. Ventilation. Perfect cleanliness. u C\HE first thing to be considered is the bed. A firm hair mat- tress should always be used, with a thin blanket or covering of some kind under the lower sheet. After long service all mattresses are inclined to sink in the middle and become very uncomfortable to lie upon for any length of time. A blanket folded lengthwise and place under the mattress, in the middle of the bed, or two flat pillows, will overcome this difficulty. When there is much fever a hair pillow will be found, though harder, much cooler than a feather one. A number of small pillows of all shapes and sizes, espe- cially during long cases of illness, will prove of the greatest comfort. You can tuck them in odd HOME NURSING 221 corners, under the back and shoulders as a help to keep up the knees and thus take all the strain from the back. They form comfortable resting places for injured limbs, and support the weight of the clothes from sensitive parts of the body. Small pillows made of cotton or wool, covered with cheese-cloth or old linen, answer the purpose quite as well as more expensive ones of feathers or down. " It is much wiser to use cotton sheets in sick- ness instead of linen, unless in summer time, as linen is chilly and uncomfortable to a delicate person. ' Three sheets are required in making the bed, also a piece of rubber sheeting, about three- quarters of a yard wide, to be used under the draw sheet. Where there is no danger of the patient soiling the mattress, the rubber sheeting may be dispensed with, as it causes unnecessary perspiration, and if it wrinkles under the patient may even lead to bed-sores. 1 To arrange a bed for a sick person so that it will be thoroughly comfortable and free from wrinkles, the under sheet must be drawn very smoothly and well tucked in. If your patient is heavy or inclined to restlessness, you will find it of great advantage to pin the under sheet at the 222 HOUSE AND HOME four corners with safety pins. Over the under sheet and across the middle of the bed, lay the rubber sheet, pin it at the corners and cover with the draw sheet, which is a small sheet folded to the width of the rubber and tucked firmly over it on both sides of the bed. The advantage of the draw sheet is that it may be changed as often as may be required without disturbing the pa- tient, and it serves to keep the under sheet clean for a much longer period. " In putting on the upper sheet leave a good margin turned over at the top to cover the blanket. Instead of a heavy white spread, place over the blanket another sheet or a dimity coun- terpane. Three points to be observed about a sick bed are perfect cleanliness, no crumbs, and no wrinkles. " Where the supply of linen is limited a clean pillow case can be made to do duty for a double period. Change it at night and hang it out to air until the morning, when it will be fresh for the day. The upper sheet which is often only crushed — not really soiled, can be straightened, folded and used for a draw sheet." I would here add that an invalid may be made to feel freshly clothed for the night and the morn- ing by keeping two nightgowns in use, one always HOME NURSING 223 airing while the other is in wear. Give the one that is airing a good sun bath whenever you can. All changes that bring fresh air and the sun's healing powers to a patient are worth more than doctors and medicine and cost far less. Again quoting from Eveleen Harrison's prac- tical little book: " Crumbs should be brushed off after every meal with a little whisk broom, and the draw sheet pulled tightly and smoothly two or three times a day, to avoid wrinkles." LIGHT " Sunlight is one of the necessities for a sick room. Even should the windows have to be darkened at the commencement of an illness, as soon as your patient is convalescent plenty of sun- shine will be of inestimable value, both mentally and physically. It is a great purifier and healer, and should not be excluded except for especial reasons. If the light is too strong for the eyes, you may tone it by placing a screen between the windows and the bed. If you keep the room dark, or with a ' dim religious light,' your pa- tient's eyes will be weak and delicate for a long time. " Never allow a bed to face a window, as the light falling directly on the eyes is very distress- 224 HOUSE AND HOME ing. At night darken the lamp or gas, by means of a small shade; a newspaper fastened — with a bent hairpin — on one side of the globe nearest the patient answers the purpose. A pretty flower shade can easily and quickly be made with bright colored tissue paper cut in the shape of large rose leaves and fastened with mucilage on a piece of stiff net. The leaves must be very full and graduate towards the center. This shade may be fastened by wire on the globe." HEAT " In very cold weather the sick room should be kept at an even temperature. Where there is no open fireplace a small gas stove should be on hand in case of emergency. "A thermometer must hang near the middle of the room, at some distance from the window or fireplace, so as to record the exact temperature, which should be carefully regulated. In ordinary cases a temperature of 70 F. is the best, but where there is much fever, as in typhoid or scar- let fever, etc., the room should not be warmer than 65 ° F. " In the early morning hours, between three and five o'clock, the atmosphere is colder than during any other part of the day, and as the vi- HOME NURSING 225 tality of the body is always lower at that time, care should be taken to have extra blankets on hand for the invalid, and if necessary give a hot drink and apply a hot-water bag to the feet. This is especially to be noted with elderly people and in very serious cases of ill— ness. A thoughtful nurse forestalls the possibility of her patient feeling the change of temperature that takes place in the early morning hours. VENTILATION An open fireplace is a great aid to ventilation. Because of this and the cheerful aspect that it gives, it is always a desirable feature of a sick room.. It can be fed noiselessly by having the coal for replenishing put in paper bags before it is brought to the room or else wrapped in news- paper. In either case it is placed upon the fire paper and coal at once. A poker of wood causes no noise and is quite as useful as one of iron or brass. " Ventilation in the summer is helped, when there is no fire, by placing a lighted candle in the fireplace — causing a draught up the chimney — it has the same effect as a fire. " The bed should stand a little out from the 226 HOUSE AND HOME wall on all sides for the air to circulate around it. When the weather is very warm the bed should stand in the middle of the room. A screen protects the head from draughts. " More fresh air is needed during sickness than in health. When the body is weak the lungs re- quire more oxygen than when one is well and moving about. " Thorough ventilation may be had in severe weather without exposing the patient to draughts. Two'windows facing each other, left open two or three inches at the top, will give a continuous cur- rent of air high enough above the bed to prevent a draught immediately upon the patient. When there is but one window in the room it should be open at the top and, if it is not near the bed, at the bottom also once in a while, but never let air blow on the bed's level. Hot air rises, cold air descends; cold air forces the impure air up and out at the window's top. Ventilation may be caused by raising the window three or four inches from the bottom and placing a piece of strong cardboard or a strip of wood six or eight inches wide over, but an inch away from, the opening. This permits the air to enter gradually in an up- ward direction. The bed should invariably be protected by a screen. When ventilating is done HOME NURSING 227 through an adjoining room, a screen should be put between the bed and the door. " This last method of ventilating is done by first filling the room with fresh air and allowing it to warm gradually before opening the door into the sick room. In cases of bronchitis or pneumonia, w T here a breath of air is likely to in- crease the cough, it is wiser to air the patient's room by keeping a window open top and bottom in an adjoining room, and allowing it to enter through a partly open door. " Every morning and evening the window should be opened wide for a few minutes — the number of minutes depending upon the weather. Two minutes in some weather will accomplish as much of a change in the air as twenty will in milder weather. Common sense, and not any particular time limit, should govern the duration of the ventilating period. You should always cover the patient carefully with extra blankets and place a shawl over the head and mouth just before and during the morning and evening air- ing. Afterwards remove the extra coverings gradually. Never, through your carelessness, let your charge get a chill. ' To dissipate an unpleasant odor take a towel or a newspaper in each hand, and wave them to 228 HOUSE AND HOME and fro with the window open. This method is efficacious in summer, as it creates a rapid circu- lation which freshens and cools the room. " In fever cases it is absolutely important to have a current of fresh air passing through the room all the time; when the temperature is high it is almost impossible for the patient to catch cold. Plenty of fresh air hastens recovery by lowering the temperature. " The invalid, or anyone who is constantly in the room, cannot judge the temperature or the purity of the air. By entering the room from the open air, or from some other part of the house, the difference in the atmosphere is imme- diately noticeable." Even healthy people lose appetite in a close hot room. By opening the window for a breath of fresh air before meals the patient's appetite can be stimulated. Perfect cleanliness should be the inflexible rule in caring for the patient, the bed, and the room. " After the daily bath the hair should be brushed, the teeth and finger-nails cleaned, the bed changed, and all soiled clothing removed. The room should be cleaned as noiselessly as possible and no dust raised. It can be done by using a damp bag tied on the broom or a cloth HOME NURSING 229 wrung out of water pinned over It. A slightly damp cloth should be used for the dusting." All furniture that holds dust should be dis- carded. Never use a feather duster in a sick room. They do not remove, but disseminate, dust. " Allow no soiled clothing to remain in the room any longer than necessary. Remove all evacuations also as quickly as possible." It is well to have somewhere outside a disinfectant — a can of chloride of lime is good. Sprinkle a little in the vessels if they have to stand anywhere before emptying. Use plenty of soap and hot water and ammonia for washing bed-pans and urinals. In fever cases they should be also rinsed off with a disinfectant solution. Never permit these vessels to stand in sight when not in use. 11 Flowers should not be left over night in the sick room. The air of the room is purer at night without them and they keep fresh longer if put in a cool place. Flowers can be kept fresh for some time by taking them out of the vases at night and cutting off a little piece of the stem in a slanting direction, then lay them in a pasteboard box and sprinkle them " — or else pin them up in newspaper and put them outside the window. 230 HOUSE AND HOME They should be covered or pinned to exclude the air. A screen may be had with little delay and no expense by using a clothes-horse and covering it with muslin, cheese-cloth, or simply a sheet pinned securely with safety pins. " Where there is no bedroom refrigerator the ice should be wrapped in flannel and placed on a bowl or cup turned upside down inside a large hand-basin; the broth, milk, or jelly can rest in the basin against the ice. The whole should be covered with a towel — a bath-towel is the best — and the basin should stand near a window." If no miniature ice pick can be had, a strong pin breaks it with little trouble. Where there is no little ice-grinder in the pantry and an ice-bag or ice-cap is required, put the ice in a strong towel or bag and pound it with a hammer, but never do this within the hearing of the sick one. " Water or milk that must be kept in the room should be covered all the time, when not being given to the patient. Broth or milk needed in the night where no ice can be had, may be kept cool by wrapping the vessel in a damp towel and standing it outside the window." Pillows should be turned often. Never allow HOME NURSING 231 them to get hot and packed. They should be shaken in the open air at least twice a day. Avoid jarring patients in doing anything to pro- mote their comfort. Do everything possible away from the bed. " To raise a sick person while changing the pillows or to draw him up in the bed, let him clasp his arms firmly around your neck, then place one hand well under his back, and lift gently and slowly, while with the other hand you slip out one pillow and put in another." If possible have two sets of pillows, one set airing and sunning while the others are in use. Keep patients fresh and clean, if you would hasten convalescence and minimize their suffering. " When a patient is too weak to help himself, get assistance. With one person on each side of the bed each clasping the other's wrists firmly under the patient's shoulders and back you can raise or draw him up in bed without any strain or fatigue." This should be learned by practice with a well person, before you undertake it with an invalid. Then there will be no nervousness on the part of the tyro nurse. And here let it be said that ner- vous, anxious people should exclude themselves from a sick room. They do no good and often 232 HOUSE AND HOME do serious harm. If very desirous to be of some service, they will find plenty to do outside of the sick room to help the nurse without ever crossing the threshold. Never permit your patient to be annoyed by flies or any insects. A mosquito bar can be quickly made by having a hook in the ceiling with a large ring hanging from it, through which a piece of mosquito netting can be drawn and then arranged around the bed. Be sure that it lies upon the floor, if you would have it effective. " Change of position can be accomplished, when the bed is a double one, by keeping one side for the day and the other for the night. If the pa- tient is too weak to roll over alone, you can draw him over on a sheet. With two small beds side by side the change can be made by putting a large sheet over the two beds and allowing the patient to roll over, or you can draw him over on, and with, the sheet." Changing sheets, with the patient on the bed, requires practice and should be learned with a well person on the bed until you are expert. Make no experiments with the sick one. Have the clean sheets always well aired and in cold weather warmed. Shut the door and windows while the change is being made. HOME NURSING 233 " First change the under sheet. Turn the pa- tient over from you on one side, fold the soiled sheet tightly, in flat folds, close to the patient. Lay on the clean sheet smoothly with half of it folded up against the roll of the soiled sheet, then both can be slipped under the body at once. Tuck in the clean sheet on that side of the bed, then cross to the other side, turn the patient back on the opposite side, gently pull out the soiled sheet from underneath. Afterwards draw the folds of the clean one, pull straight, and tuck firmly and neatly. By following this method the draw sheet, rubber sheeting, and under sheet may all be changed at one time. " To change the upper sheet loosen all the bed- clothes at the foot, then spread the clean sheet and blanket on top of the other bedclothes. With one hand hold the clean sheet and blanket up to the neck of your patient, with the other slip down the soiled clothes underneath right over the foot of the bed ; tuck in the fresh bed- clothes and spread the counterpane." An expert will do this without uncovering or fatiguing the invalid. No one should ever sit on the side of the bed or lean against it. No one should walk heavily across the floor of a sick room or the floor above. 234 HOUSE AND HOME ' To protect any injured part of the body from the weight of bedclothes without the use of the iron cradles used in hospitals, two or three bar- rel hoops will answer the purpose, or a round band-box large enough to slip the injured limb through. Pillows laid at each side of the bed will keep bedclothes a couple of inches above the sensitive part. " If unprovided with a bed-rest, one may be contrived from a chair with the legs turned up- ward on the bed. The long sloping back then forms a support for pillows piled in, one behind another, to the top. Put a small pillow under the knees to prevent the body from slipping down in the bed. " Guard carefully against bed-sores. Some people have very sensitive skins. Even during a short illness continual pressure may cause trouble. The back, elbows, knees, and heels, but espe- cially the back, should be watched closely. The first symptoms of a bed-sore are redness of the skin with a pricking, burning sensation. Bed- sores will be found when the vitality is weakened by fever, indeed it takes very little in the way of pressure, moisture, or continued dampness, and even wrinkles in the sheets, or crumbs, to produce these dreadful sores. It is far easier to prevent HOME NURSING 235 than it is to cure bed-sores. In paralytic cases, and with elderly people, they are most difficult to heal. " To prevent, as far as possible, any appearance of them, bathe the parts daily with warm water and pure soap, then rub briskly with alcohol to harden the skin, and dust on talcum or bismuth powder to remove all mofeture. Guard carefully against crumbs, or wrinkles in the under sheet. Persuade the patient to turn in different positions every two or three hours, to avoid long-continued pressure on one spot. " With unconscious patients greater watchful- ness is required. When there are involuntary evacuations, the clothing must be changed imme- diately and the body thoroughly washed and powdered. " The first symptoms of bed-sores should be watched closely and all pressure removed from the part by a judicious use of air cushions and soft pads. Soft pads, made from cheese-cloth filled with cotton, can be boiled every week as well as hair pillows. Rubber rings can also be easily washed. 11 Should the skin become broken, stop using alcohol and apply a little oxide-of-zinc ointment or balsam of Peru on a piece of gauze. Protect 236 HOUSE AND HOME the place with a pad. If it does not heal imme- diately, seek special treatment from your family doctor. " No one should enter the sick room straight from the open air on a cold or a wet day; all should wait elsewhere until their clothes lose dampness and become warm. " No matter how acceptable the visitor may be it is necessary to guard against tiring the patient. And under no circumstances permit two people to sit each side of the bed and converse across the invalid. Visitors should occupy chairs so placed that the sick one can look at them without any ef- fort. They should leave before tiring the patient." It is unwise to allow the patient to sit up long during the early stages of convalescence. " Half an hour the first day will be sufficient. After the first day it is better to let the convalescent sit up twice for a short time, than to be tired by being up too long." In these matters the nurse should be watchful to learn just how long a time seems to do the patient good, and insist upon the invalid return- ing to bed before showing any signs of weariness. " Sitting up in an easy-chair is a more complete change than reclining upon a sofa. It helps to restore the strength more rapidly." HOME NURSING 237 Unless there be some special reason to oppose it, encourage your patient to walk a little more and more every day after convalescence. The legs lose strength during the inactivity of illness and power can only be restored by exercising them judiciously. But the exercise should be taken gradually. Nothing is gained by overtaxing the strength, but something is always lost. Give your charge as much fresh air as possible before the first outing. If the weather is cold, wrap a convalescent in blankets with a soft shawl over the head. Then open a window wide and let him enjoy the fresh air and, if possible, a pleas- ant view. Before closing the window or remov- ing the wraps, let your patient take a walk around the room and find out what the legs are capable of doing without fatigue. Never remove the wraps until the window has been closed long enough to restore the usual atmosphere to the room. Judgment and tact are imperatively necessary in dealing with a convalescent who, when weary of the sick room and the bed, is in danger of undertaking much that would retard recovery. No matter how experienced you may be, never allow your charges to suppose for a moment that you intend to dominate them — even for their wel- 238 HOUSE AND HOME fare. Rather give them the contrary impression, if you would influence them for their good and cultivate their docility. Put yourself in his place, should be the motto of all nurses, especially when the patient's will seems opposed to theirs. XJ CHAPTER EIGHTEEN U THE UNPAID WORKING HOUSE- KEEPER Law student's question. Value of wife's services. When romance starves. The poor rich wife. Arrangements of some, more ingenious than dignified. tr c j~T l N every partnership relation, that ^W of husband and wife excepted, a fljKfflB distinct understanding and mutual [IjEc-.^* agreemcnt no ^ s ^ ot ^ P art i es t0 a \ wmB&~ contract. Albeit no solemn vows are taken, the obligations are binding upon each member of the concern. But, in the steps pre- liminary to matrimony, many leave every- thing to chance or luck, so-called, with results often most unlucky, to one especially of the contracting parties. In consequence, all over the land there are countless women who belong to the class designated in our title, a silent body of incessant workers without hope of the slightest pecuniary independence. Edwin Markham's " Man with the Hoe " seems 239 2 4 o HOUSE AND HOME a free and enviable being, compared with these sempiternal drudges. The only variety in their lives is when they, perforce, exchange household work for the labor of childbirth upon the ad- vent of each new baby. Those are their resting periods, and they are brief. A law-student asked: " What would you pro- pose, how would you regulate compensation to a wife?" Take an illustrative case: A woman marries, bears children, nurses and sews for them ; mends, makes, brews, bakes, and fills the complex position imposed by marriage, a growing family, housekeeping cares, and the demands of her husband. (We are now considering the great army of people in moderate circumstances.) During times of sickness the mother loses sleep and is taxed to the utmost limit of her strength ; unlike the trained nurse, she neither claims hours for making up lost rest nor for going into the fresh air. Respite and refreshment are only for the paid incumbent, who renders stated service, at stated hours, for stated remuneration, and who can escape from a galling situation without resort- ing to the divorce courts. But not so the wife and mother ; pride and love for her children bind her to her hard fate until she drops and finds her first and last resting place — the grave. THE HOUSEKEEPER 241 During years of unremitting service as wife, mother, seamstress — often general house-worker also — her return a roof, a bed, food, and clothes — often prepared and made by her own hands. For every expenditure she gave an account to the lord of the purse, unless, like many of her equally dolorous sisters, she condescended to rifle her husband's pockets when he slept, and thus secured small change for unquestioned use. When Death, at last, kindly severs the partner- ship the man, bereaved beyond his own realiza- tion, casts about for someone to look after his house and motherless children. Now the long- ignored subject of compensation, not to be evaded, confronts him. Board and lodging no longer count. For far less service than the wife gave he must pay. Aside from the monthly ac- count of household expenses, will he ever pre- sume to inquire about the cash outlay of the new manager? She would laugh in his face, should he so far forget himself. And, failing to come to time with her salary, he would find himself left to paddle the household canoe alone while facing a legal action for unpaid wages. Pay, pay, pay, is the burden of the song forever ringing in his ears; pay for keeping the household wheels re- volving to the tune of breakfast, lunch, and din- 242 HOUSE AND HOME ner ; pay for nursing the little ones ; pay for tend- ing the sick; pay for making the children's clothes; pay for their mending and his own. Gone is the day for these things to be done by magic, as it were, costing him no thought. It passed with the passing of his wife. No wonder we have the conundrum: " Why is a widower like a young baby?" " Because at first he cries all the time, then he begins to take notice, and it is very hard to get him through the second summer." Wives are frequently, though not always, economical investments; they leave a good margin for tobacco and beer. A merry girl used to say that, if ever she married, she should look for a widower who could bring a recommendation from his first wife. If a No. 2 should depend upon the first wife's reference, many of the lords of creation would continue in single blessedness with no opportunity to " endow with all their worldly goods " more than one overconfiding woman. Someone protests: " Oh, but the marriage rela- tion is a romantic affair and forbids sordid money-consideration between the pair. It is all one interest." All one interest too often is true. But which one? The man who, willingly, permits his wife to THE HOUSEKEEPER 243 spend her life serving him and their children un- requited even to the extent of wages paid to any servant in his, or some other, house, is not likely to impart any romance to married life. Unre- mitting care and household work, with an empty purse, perpetually divorce one from romance. Romance and sentiment starve in married life where one partner clutches the pocketbook and the other's purse is perpetually empty, or only now and then supplied with a niggardly dole for which an account must be rendered. This is no overdrawn picture. Along the various grades of society there are wives whose rights, in this respect, are totally ignored by their inconsiderate husbands. The " poor rich wife " has passed into a proverb because the stupid, hoary old cus- tom of regarding woman as dependent is still in- grained in the genus homo. She should be a lovely vine clinging about that sturdy oak — Man. The sturdy oak often proves to be a sapling unable to bear the rigorous blasts of housekeeping cares and incapable of minding the children even when he is in the house. This makes no difference in the opinion of those who are governed by the traditions of the elders. The w r ife of a wealthy New York man used to 244 HOUSE AND HOME declare, with tears, that she was constantly sub- jected to mortification because her splendid en- vironment, elegant equipages, and costly clothes, together with her husband's well-known wealth, attracted people who were seeking subscriptions for the advancement of worthy objects. With- out any bank account of her own and even with her purse empty, she was always obliged to say, " I must first consult with my husband." As he required all bills to be sent to him for payment, while requiring his wife to be gowned in keeping with her splendid cage and their grand entertain- ments, she was literally a pampered pauper in her own home — the beggar on the street had more small change than that dolorous wife. Kindly Death came at last to her rescue by unclasping the tight fist of the man, who was compelled to leave his possessions forever. His widow was not altogether inconsolable. Her visible mourning was not painful to herself. Signing checks for it with her own hand thrilled her with pleasure unknown in her married experience. Paying her own bills served to assuage any pos- sible pang of widowhood. It is pleasant to be able to state that she survived her liege-lord many years to taste the joys of independence, and never seemed impatient to be reunited to him in the THE HOUSEKEEPER 245 spheres where money, bank accounts, and mar- riage are supposed to be unknown. Stories are current, more truthful than poetic, showing the devices resorted to by some of these " poor rich wives " to outwit their close-fisted spouses. The arrangements are more remarkable for ingenuity than dignity. They make one think of the crooked ways of tax and tariff evaders. The husbands of these women prob- ably are adepts in those evasions, consequently their wives are in a school of duplicity. Apt pupils, they secure ready cash to spend by taking the dressmaker, milliner, and even their teachers of languages and music into their confidence. Together they conspiretto extract funds from the lord of the exchequer without his knowledge. The bills of these people are by an understanding augmented beyond their customary charges, and the surplus finds its way into the ever-empty purse of the w 7 ife. Undoubtedly she has no com- punctions, as she feels and knows it is her own, unjustly withheld, that she thus secures. Of course there can be no " heart to heart confi- dences " between these unhappy wives and their narrow-minded husbands. Poor indeed are these women in ways unrelated to an empty purse. Poorer are the men who 246 HOUSE AND HOME drive them to such petty deception. But the un- paid working-housekeeper has no such oppor- tunity to secure a private purse. Hers is a work- a-day world. Small wonder, then, if she rob her- self of needed sleep to play the wary pickpocket after her spouse is locked in slumber. Fancy the picture! A woman rifling the pockets of her dear lord in the small hours that she may have car-fares and postage stamps without always say- ing, " Please, sir, give me a dime." Turning from these unpleasant facts, it is re- freshing to know that there is a reverse side to the picture. Not all men are so niggardly to their wives. A new order of man came upon the scene some time ago, the sort that respect their wives and deal in an honorable, manly, business- like way with them. One of this refreshing type not only gave his wife the household money to disburse in her own way and pay all bills, but also gave her a generous allowance for her own private expenses; in addition, he kept a careful account of his own foolish outlay for cigars, and every month handed to his wife exactly as much as he had wasted for her to waste, if she so pleased, in some equally unwise way. That pair spent sixteen happy years together, and those who knew them intimately realized that THE HOUSEKEEPER 247 romance never died out of their married life. When the sad hour of separation came there were only beautiful memories for the widow, who said, in the midst of her first grief, " He was always Douglas tender and true." In the new era the wife-housekeeper will be a partner and have her services recognized quite as fairly as are those of the paid superintendent of any establishment. u CHAPTER NINETEEN V BOOKS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE HOME The millionaire's library. Make old and young resourceful. The unabridged dictionary. Atlas of the world. Teach chil- dren to consult references themselves. rr TP OT every home can have a library well stocked with books of all sorts for reading or for reference. That is one of the luxuries that only the very rich can evoke by a few strokes of the pen. But the library that comes into exist- ence in that way is not the most enjoyable to its owner. In fact, the owner of that sort of a library is apt to be unfamiliar with books in general, and bookkeeping is more interest- ing to him than reading. His library would be a paradise to the student and true lover of books, but to him it is just a portion of his palace furnished, like all the rest, to order, by an expert with publishers' catalogues as guides. 248 BOOKS 249 I know just such a library. It had to be fifty feet square to be in proportion to the grand man- sion that is five times fifty feet square. You feel like stopping up your ears when you view the whole establishment, for it screeches at you, " Just see how much I cost!" It is stunning everywhere. But the owner never has time to read anything but the stock market, and his hands are so full of coupons to be cut off that he has no place in them for holding any but a checkbook. The only people that really ever got any enjoy- ment out of his great, big, splendid library were the publishers who filled his agent's orders. Young married people and others starting out in life who are in moderate circumstances cannot usually begin with a supply of useful books un- less they have been so fortunate as to inherit the library of some literary relative, or have been blessed with wise parents and such wise training that they learned, very early in life, to love read- ing and to collect and take good care of books. This class needs no hints about book-collecting. But there are many who have not been so happily circumstanced in their youthful days, and they often feel the lack without knowing the best way to fill or overcome it. They long to give to their children the advantages which never were theirs, 250 HOUSE AND HOME for they realize that, without a good education, early in life, people are ever after handicapped, no matter how much money they may get for themselves, or inherit from others. After per- fect health there is nothing, on the material plane, that makes children and grown people so inde- pendent, resourceful, and happy as an intimate acquaintance with the best literature. As no one can read all the books worth reading at once so there is no need for owning them all at once. But there are some books that every home should have and use constantly, and depend upon no outside library for them. Taking for granted that every home as a mat- ter of course will have at least one Bible and one copy of Shakspeare as part of its indispensable furnishing, we pass on to the next most impor- tant book without which much reading will be bereft of advantage to the reader. What is the use of words if one knows not their meaning or only has a glimmering idea of their signification ? What is the use of reading about places on this our globe, if they are not located and pictured on the mental gallery by finding them out on some map if not by seeing sketches of them ? Then an unabridged dictionary and a complete atlas of the world are absolutely necessary in every BOOKS 251 household, where the family is expected to be cultured and read, as well as think, intelligently. Children taught to use these and other reference books, of which mention will be made in this chapter, with very little going to school will be more thoroughly educated when they grow up than other children who have expensive schooling, but no training in looking up meanings, places, and everything else that they come across in their reading which is not perfectly clear to them. No. 3 on the list of desirable books is a Classical Dictionary. These three should be always accessible and faithfully used by parents and children alike, for, after you show a child how to look up anything, it should do that work for itself. The books ought to be kept in one place on suitable stands, and no one allowed to lift them about from place to place. That is what damages heavy books. In other words, not use, but abuse wears them out too soon. In this connection it may as well be said that children should be taught early — just as soon as they handle books at all — the proper way to open and hold a book. All heavy books require especial care. They should, when too heavy for the hand, perpetually rest on a table or a stand. No one should ever be al- 252 HOUSE AND HOME lowed to lean upon an open book. Those that can be handled without effort should be allowed to rest with their backs in the palm of the hand while one is glancing over them. This of course applies to books with nice bindings. I shall never forget my first lesson in holding a book. I was looking at a beautiful volume held open with both hands and enjoying its exquisite make-up — all unconscious that the owner was on tenter- hooks while watching me. After a moment he said gently: " Cousin L., will you let me show you how to hold a book? " And then he placed it as I have described in the palm of his hand, thus fully supporting the two sides of the cover, and let it open without straining it in any part. That lesson is always recalled to my mind when I see anyone handle a book roughly. The three books that have been just recommended can be bought by degrees where very careful expenditure is necessary, but, whenever it is possible, they should find very early introduction and place in every home. They will prove invaluable, ever faith- ful friends to all who seek their acquaintance. And there is never any risk of becoming too inti- mate with them. The Century or the Standard Dictionary — each one holds a mine of informa- tion — whichever you choose will be an endless BOOKS 253 source of delight and settle for you all sorts of puzzling and doubtful questions. Let the father dispense with tobacco and the mother go without finery, at least until a row of those fascinating books rests upon a shelf within reach of all who know how to handle a valuable book. And never forget that all these are to be studied, not merely owned. Any standard books of prose and poet- ical quotations that are complete come next in importance for the family at home. All the books that one wants to read can be found in the public libraries, but, while reading, these books of reference should be very easily reached, and that is why they ought to be the nucleus of the home library. They make nice holiday gifts, and have the advantage of growing in importance the more you refer to them. In this they differ es- sentially from many things that are given as presents. A book of English synonyms is helpful, and if your Bible is not furnished with a full concordance, by all means get Cruden's and keep ' it along with the Bible, which is a library in itself. No matter what your religious belief, or if you have none at all, the Bible should be fa- miliar to everyone who wishes to be well in- formed. So much of it is incorporated into all the best English literature, either directly quoted 254 HOUSE AND HOME or in other ways, that one can hardly be said to have received a good English education if not thoroughly at home, and conversant, with the Bible. It is cruel to permit children to grow up with- out being acquainted with the wild flowers that they meet and the trees that they see, as they go about. There are delightful books, giving in- formation about both in such a simple way that whoever knows how to read can find out what they are and to what family in plant life they belong as easily as they can look up word-mean- ings in the dictionary; and a leaf brought home from a tree will be the means of revealing the name of the tree when it is compared with its counterpart in the book, written by an arborist. Mrs. Dana's " How to Find the Wild Flowers " would make a delightful birthday gift to a little girl who loves to go after the wild flowers. Nor should the stars be totally strange to children. There is a deeply interesting book upon astron- omy called " Warren's Recreations in Astron- omy." Not a dull sentence is there in it. If read aloud, and then the stars of the season are looked for in the sky, the children can soon greet the constellations by name and also recognize all of the bright stars in the heavens. With Whit- BOOKS 255 taker's " Planisphere Showing the Principal Stars Visible for Every Hour in the Year, from Lati- tude 40 Degrees N.," and the astronomy just mentioned, no family need remain in dull igno- rance of the heavens in our latitude. Of books written especially for children there are so many worth reading over and over again it is not very easy to name only a few. But I should like to know that " Everybody's Fairy Godmother," written by Dorothy Quigley, and Mrs. Ewing's books, were in every child's hands. tT CHAPTER TWENTY Ef MISCELLANEOUS HINTS FOR HOUSE- WIVES In the kitchen. About the house. The traveler. The seam- stress. Bedspreads. The snorer. Fumigate with sulphur. IN THE KITCHEN O cook an egg daintily never let It boil. Drop it into water that is boiling, and then set it in a hot place to keep the heat steady. For those who like the yellow soft and the white set let it remain in the hot water five minutes. It will be found delicate, the white like jelly, but not hard and tough as it is when the egg is allowed to boil. If desired to have the yolk hard it is only necessary to leave It In the hot water seven or eight minutes, according to the taste of the person who is to eat the egg. Dairy products require the greatest care to pre- vent their becoming tainted by the atmosphere 256 MISCELLANEOUS HINTS 257 or anything that has an odor. No matter how- agreeable it may be it will spoil butter, cream, and milk, if they are left in a refrigerator w T ith it. Fruit, fish, or anything that affects the air must not be near dairy products. Flow r ers will taint butter. Dairy products are exclusive. They must have a compartment by themselves, in a refrigerator. If anywhere else, they need to be carefully guarded from becoming tainted by nearness to other things. The most delicious butter and the freshest cream can be soon converted into soap grease by contact with the odor of cheese, fish, flesh, fowl, or flowers. The only safe way is to keep them by themselves. There is risk in having them with other things, even if they are closely covered. Stale bread and cake may be freshened by wrapping in a damp towel and placing them in a hot place until the towel dries, and then putting them in stone jars, covered. Another way is to wrap in a dry towel and place them in a colan- der set over a kettle of boiling water. This steams the bread or cake, and it can be eaten very soon. Care must be observed not to let them get too moist. If the crust seems wet, slip it into the oven and watch it for a moment; let it get dry, but not hard. 258 HOUSE AND HOME There is an art in making good apple sauce. Tart apples that are tender and cook quickly are the best for the purpose in summer. Spitz- bergens, the finely flavored old-fashioned sort, make the most delicious apple sauce in winter. Do not peel many at a time, peel rapidly as pos- sible with a silver knife, and drop into cold water as fast as peeled. Have tea kettle boiling when slicing begins. Slice into a granite or porcelain- lined kettle of fresh, cold water. When all are sliced drain off the cold water and cover with boiling water, adding a few thin slices of a nice, clean lemon. Cook rapidly, stir often. Slow cooking darkens the sauce. Remove when tender, and beat with a perforated spoon, or else mash through a colander. Sweeten with granulated sugar to suit the taste. If you prefer the lemon slices left in, remove them before you pass the mass through the colander, and then return them to it after it is strained. Baked potatoes can be kept mealy by breaking them open as soon as baked. This lets the steam out that makes them moist after standing. They should be wrapped in a crash towel and kept in a hot place until eaten. When soup has been made too salt, a little vin- egar and sugar carefully added will often over- MISCELLANEOUS HINTS 259 come the fault. If discovered in time, a feu- slices of raw potato scalded in it will have the same effect. They should be strained out before the soup is sent to the table. Celery stalks or leaves do much toward remov- ing the odor of onions from hands, dishes, etc. To keep food hot that is sent upstairs on a tray have the dishes heated first, and then set them on bowls of hot water. Heat the covers also. A cheap and useful tray-cosey can be made by using a pasteboard box that covers the entire tray, which can then be carried through halls and up- stairs without chilling the food. It is impossible to take too much pains about serving food hot, either on the table or when sent to rooms. EXCELLENT GRAPE JUICE RECIPE After removing stems and washing through a colander cover grapes with cold water, and boil until tender. Drain through a cheese-cloth bag. Add one coffee-cup of sugar for every three quarts of juice. Place over the fire just long enough to come to a boil. Skim and bottle while hot. Do not cook longer in the first place than absolutely necessary to make them tender. The second time observe underlining above. Much cooking spoils 26o HOUSE AND HOME — — "-* ■ » the flavor. Seal the corks with paraffin. One who knows says: "This grape juice is excellent, palatable, and refreshing." The Rumford Baking Powder is declared by the same authority to be better than any other. Biscuits, etc., made with it retain their freshness longer than when made with any of the other powders. " Authority " has used it for twenty years, and sent from Utica, N. Y., to Chicago for it, until it was introduced in the Eastern States. To keep flies out of the larder sponge the win- dows daily with a weak solution of carbolic acid and water. You will not be troubled with flies if you attend to this faithfully. A piece of zinc buried in the live coals of the stove will clean out the stove pipe. Oyster shells used in the same way will re- move clinkers from fire brick. Try a small brush, not too stiff, for cleaning potatoes and other roots, and save your hands. A useful kitchen device is a perforated strainer that fits tightly in the escape of the sink. The strainer is funnel-shaped and easily allows liquids to flow into the pipe, but retains all solid matter. The bread-mixer is a useful invention ; it mixes thoroughly a whole baking of bread in MISCELLANEOUS HINTS 261 five minutes, and is so easily operated that even a child can use it. The kitchen should never be without supplies of concentrated lye and washing soda. The lye ought to be used once a week to eat away the grease collected on the inside of the waste pipe of the sink. The proper way to apply it is to dis- solve it in boiling water and pour down the pipe while it is hot. Washing soda makes cleaning pots and kettles less laborious. Fill the utensil with hot water as high up as it requires cleansing, and set it over the fire with a tablespoonful of soda. After the utensil is cleaned the same soda water will be useful in cleansing the sink. ABOUT THE HOUSE When kerosene oil is spilled on the carpet cover the place thickly with buckwheat flour or oatmeal, and leave it twenty-four hours, at least, before brushing it up. Use soft tissue paper, moistened a little, for dusting when the cheese-cloth duster is not at hand. Felt soles pasted on the bottoms of rubber overshoes will help the wicked and the pious to walk in slippery places. A resourceful woman 262 HOUSE AND HOME used an old felt hat and library paste for this purpose. When new shoes are very stiff or even a trifle tight, wet them w T ith alcohol inside, especially near the soles, and don immediately. Wear them until perfectly dry. Alcohol dries quickly. In cases of badly matted hair during illness, instead of sacrificing to the shears, wet it with alcohol to loosen the snarl. FOR TRAVELERS When traveling in the railroad cars carry a pinch of flaxseed in case a cinder gets in the eye. A seed inserted under the lid soon becomes glu- tinuous and the cinder gets coated; unless it has cut into the eye, it can be promptly removed. FOR THE SEAMSTRESS In making sleeves of lined dresses for children it saves time and trouble later on, if a good-sized piece of the goods be run on the inside between lining and material, where the hardest wear comes. By so doing the elbows do not give out so soon, and when they do wear it will not show, and the material is already in place for neat darn- ing. The hems of white petticoats, if turned up on MISCELLANEOUS HINTS 263 the right side do not pull out so readily as they do when hemmed in the old-fashioned way. In making growing children's dresses, when the hems are straight, run a tuck in the under side of the hem for lengthening later. Before cleaning or pressing coats, waists, etc., catch all the pocket openings and the button-holes together to keep them in shape. In pinning bedspreads, curtains, etc., on clothes-lines place right side out with a little strip of clean, old rag under clothes-pin to pre- vent a mark. Always wipe line first. Black silk may be refreshed by sponging and, while quite damp, rolling on a clean broomstick to be left there until perfectly dry. Silk should never be ironed. To make pretty and inexpensive bedspreads get organdie and line it with sateen the color of the room-decorations. Border the sides with a ruffle of the organdie, twelve inches wide, unlined. These spreads are beautiful when made of or- gandie, with a colored pattern of flowers. They must always be lined, whether of plain white or in fancy patterns. Buy during the marked-down season, or else old-fashioned goods that are selling cheap; for this purpose they are quite as pretty as the latest, sometimes prettier. Be sure to have 264 HOUSE AND HOME the spread long enough to cover the entire bed, pillows and all. TO CURE A SNORER If there is a snorer in the house, administer, at bed-time, six drops of olive oil on a pinch of mustard. The oil lubricates the larynx and the mustard acts as a counter-irritant. TO FUMIGATE WITH A SULPHUR CANDLE To fumigate with a sulphur candle, close all the doors and windows of the room and make it as air-tight as possible by pasting paper over the window cracks, and around the outside of the door after you have started the fumigation. Have a tub wit*h a little water in the bottom for the candle to stand in to prevent any danger of fire. A tin tub is good, but even that should have water. After lighting the candle and closing the door do not open for at least* twenty-four hours. Whoever goes in first should, if possible, have a window or door leading to outside air open opposite the door of the fumigated room in order to let in as much fresh air as possible before entering the room to open windows. As soon as the windows of the room are opened the door should be closed again and the place left to get MISCELLANEOUS HINTS 265 well aired before anyone goes in to stay. To ventilate a place quickly open the windows at the top and the bottom at once, because that causes a steady change of air, while it enters at the bottom and forces the heated or foul air up and out at the top. u INDEX rx u Air (see Ventilation) Airing sick rooms, 225- 226 Apple sauce, 258 Architects, shortcomings of, 12 Artists, household, 73 Astronomy, 254-255 Atlas, 250 Baking powders, 260 Bath-room convenien- ces, 90-91; etiquette, 93 Barrels (for packing), 35 Bed making for the sick, 220, 232 Bed sores, 234 Beds, airing and mak- ing, 101-102; boarding house, 103; servant's, 109, 122 Bedclothes, 68 Bedspreads, 106, 263 Bedsteads (care of), 105, 107, 109 Black silk freshened, 263 Blankets, 102 Bolts, 84 Books, three most essen- tial, 250-251; correct handling of, 252; for children, 255 Bread cutting, 170; mak- ing, 155; mixer, 260 Broth (in sick room), 230 Builders, contracts with, 29 Burglars, 85 Buying a house, 21; fur- niture, 65 Candle, ventilation by, 225 Cake, 152 Care of things in use, 174 Carpets, sanitary, 76 Carving, 180 Cellar stairs, 15 Cellars, 13, 14, 57 Chain bolts, 84 Children, apartment house, 201; and moth- ers, 193; and the truth (Chas. Wagner), 203; gifts to, 199; obstreper- ous, 187; occupations for, 195, 196, 197; the happiest, 194 Children's cash allow- ance, 197; ethics, 194; health, 192; tempera- ture (normal), 217; thoughts, 205-206 Christian : definition of a, 94 Chimneys, 21 Cinder in eye, to remove, 262 Clinical thermometer, 215 Clinkers, to remove, 260 Coffee, after-dinner(serv- ing), 170, 183 267 268 INDEX Convalescent, exercise for the, 237 Cooking, good and bad, 148-149 Cook's judgment, how to gauge, 155 Couches, 72, 73 " Credit," 66 Crimes against criminals, 16-18 Curtains, sash and win- dow, 74, 75 Dainty articles, care of, 39. 58 Dairy products, how to keep, 256 Desks, 76, 81 Dictionaries, 251-252 Dirt and doctor's bills, 76 Disinfectants, 99, 229 Dinner, announcing, 176; serving, 177 Dish washing, 175 Domestic service, 134; (anecdote), 130 Door cleaning, 54 Doors, to protect (when moving), 55 Dust, to minimize, 48 Economy, 28, 38, 48 Eggs, how to boil cor- rectly, 256 Employer and employee, T 35 Etiquette, 184 Excelsior (for packing), 39 Feather dusters, 77 Felt soles, 261 Finger bowls, 169 Fireplaces (in sick rooms), 225 Flowers (on the table), 168; (in sick rooms), 229; books on wild, 254 Flies, to drive out of larder, 260 Floors, 53 Flues, 20, 22, 23 Food, to keep hot on a tray, 259 Fuel, 45 Fumigation, 55, 264 Furniture, 46, 56, 63, 65, 71, 81 Glasses, to fill at table, 178 Golden rule, 163 Gold piece, a child's (an- ecdote), 197 Grape juice, receipt for, 259 " Half-baked people," 94 Halls, lighting of, 85 Hair, to untangle matted, 262 Heaters, 23 Healthful location, 26 House cleaning, 47, 48; cleaners, 58; hunting, 25; maids, 102; occu- pied before buying, 27; service (Charlotte P. Gilman), 157; three es- sentials of a well-built, 25; wife, 150, 156, 171 INDEX 269 Housekeeper, 108, 157, 171 Housekeeper's allow- ance, 68 Houses "built to sell," 15 Husbands, niggardly, 246 Ice (for the sick), 230 Ideals, 156 Indigestion, 147 Injured limb, to protect, 234 Intelligence offices, 144 Intemperance, 210 Invalids, care of, 220; toilet of, 228; to lift, 231 Jewelry (an anecdote), 36 Kerosene oil, to remove spots, 261 Kitchen odors, 149; range, 20; sink, 260; rules, 156; utensils, 150- 156; window garden, 152 Knife handles, care of, 174 Landlords, 15, 16 Leaks (in roof), 14 " Living out," 128 Light (in halls), 85; (in sick rooms), 223 Locks and locking doors, 64 Lye, 261 Manners, 163 Matches and match re- ceivers, 53-54 Mats, door, 53 Mattresses, 41, 96, 98 Mechanical skill, 62 Metal rack for spoons, 155 Memory and trifles, 38 Milk (in sick room), 230 Mistress and maid, 120- 139 Modern methods in household service, 134 Mops, 51 Mosquito bars, 232 Mother's "No," 193 Moths, 71 Moving, common sense in, 52 Napkins, placing at table, 167 Neatness, value of, 75- 77 Nervous people and the sick, 231 Newspapers, use for old, 49. 5i Notebook, the indispen- sable, 24, 36, 44, 165 Nourishment (of working women), 45 Occupations for children, 196 Old saying, 57 Onions, to remove odor of, 259 Open fires, 21 Overfurnishing, 62 270 INDEX Packing, orderly, 33; du- plicate lists, 35; with excelsior, 39; kitchen utensils, 40; mattresses and bedding, 41 ; mark- ing clearly, 41 Pain, the admonishment of, 210 Pantry, 174 Parents, 187; the example of, 190 Patience, 140 Patients, humoring, 237- 238; to avoid jarring, 231 Partnership, 239 Peppermint test (for plumbing), 19 Pin, the detective, 104 Pillows (for the sick), 220, 231 Plants, inexpensive, 85- 86 Plate changing, 170, 178 Plumbing, cellar trap, 19; criminals and, 15 " Poor rich " wife, 243 Position, people of as- sured, 141 Potatoes, baked, 258; to clean, 260 Privacy, 79 Pudding or pie, to serve, 182 Pulse, normal, 217; to count, 218 References, 136, 137; writing and examin- ing, 144, 145 Refrigerator (in the sick room), 230 Repairs, estimating, 27 Respiration, 218 Rest, 208 Roast, to serve, 180 Romance and married life, 243, 246 Rosebud's mission, a, 117 Rover, Red, 106, 107, 109 Rubber mats, 89 Salt cellars, 169 Salad, to serve, 179 Sash curtains, 74 Screens, 70, 230 Seamstress, hints for the, 262 Servants, consideration for, 141; discharging, 145; disrespectful, 142; engaging, 140-144; ide- al, 158; inquiries of, 140; leisure of, 125; re- spect for, 143 Servant's rights, 123; rooms, 118 Shades, window, 74 Sheets (for the sick), 221; rubber, 221; to change (for the sick), 232 Shoes, to soften stiff, 262 Sick, to lift the, 231 Sick room cleanliness, 228; light in, 223; odors in, 227; temperature of, 224; visitors in, 236 Silver, 168, 174 Single beds, 68, 69 INDEX 27 1 Smoke damage, 22 Snoring, to prevent, 264 Social " caste," 133; er- rors (Chas. Wagner), 142 Soups, toserve, 177; over- salted, 258 Soul, independent, 194 Step-ladders, 47, 63 Stovepipe, to clean, 260 Subservience, 162 Tags, 34 Table appointments, 169- 171; clearing, 171-181; linen. 168: setting, 165, 167; side, 169 Temperature, normal, 214; to take, 215, 217; of the sick room, 224, 228; and temperament, 2I 5 Thermometer, clinical, 215 Tissue paper (for dust- ing), 261 Tool box, 62, 63 Tray cosey, 259 Trunkpacking,7o; stand, 7i Vegetables, to serve, 178 Ventilation, 14, 225, 226, 227, 264, 265 Wall paper, old, no Water closet, 91 Waitress, 165, 176, 179, 181, 183, 184, 185 Washing soda, 261 Water (in the sick room), 230 Wife, compensation to a, 240 Wife's position, 241; stories, 243-246 Widower, 241, 242 Widowhood, 244 Window fastenings, 84; hangings, 75; shades, 74 Working women, 45 SEP 17 1904 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 011 021 249 5 ill ! Klllliiir Mill iii! I 1 1 1 1 1