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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, 
 
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 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 
 
PRICE FIFTEEN CENTS. 
 
 DICK'S 
 
 Little Speeches 
 
 FOR 
 
 Little Speakers 
 
 NEW YORK 
 DICK <fc FITZGERALD 
 
DICK'S 
 
 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 FOR 
 
 LITTLE SPEAKERS 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 /i CAREFULLY SELECTED COLLECTION OF SHORT AND EASY 
 
 PIECES, SUITABLE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN 
 
 AND LITTLE TOTS. 
 
 y 
 
 NEW YORK : 
 DICK & FITZGERALD, 
 
 1 8 ANN STREET. 
 
V 
 
 COPTBIGHT, 1890, BY 
 
 DICK & FITZGERALD, 
 
 All rights reserved. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Ambition 57 
 
 Baby 14 
 
 Baby Sleeps 83 
 
 Baby's First Tooth 54 
 
 Baby's Reflections 20 
 
 Bed in Summer . 71 
 
 Boy's Opinion, A 65 
 
 Boy's Rights 79 
 
 Bravest Thing, The 59 
 
 Catastrophe, A 44 
 
 Cats' Serenade, The 51 
 
 Caw ! Caw ! Caw ! 67 
 
 Chatterbox 82 
 
 Chickadee 63 
 
 Child's Evening Prayer, A 47 
 
 Child's Troubles, A 72 
 
 Choice of a Trade ..... For ten boys 9 
 
 Christmas Bells 60 
 
 Conceited Grasshopper, the 53 
 
 Concert Recitation, A 56 
 
 Convalescent 70 
 
 Decoration Day, For 60 
 
4 contents. 
 
 Deeds of Kindness 86 
 
 Deposed 19 
 
 Did You Think to Pray ? 41 
 
 Envy 82 
 
 Epilogue 28, 36 
 
 Falling Snow, The 35 
 
 Forget-me-not, The 66 
 
 Friends and Enemies 78 
 
 General Grant 39 
 
 Gfntle Child, The 37 
 
 Gentle Hints 70 
 
 George Washington . . . For five boys 50 
 
 Girl who is always Good, The 38 
 
 God Sees Me 90 
 
 Good Advice to Talkers 76 
 
 Good-Bye 87 
 
 Good-Night 86 
 
 Grateful Preacher, The 76 
 
 Hands and Fingers 90 
 
 Harry's Arithmetic 75 
 
 If 3 2 
 
 If I were You 87 
 
 I'll Be a Man 28 
 
 I'll Put it Off 62 
 
 Innovation 81 
 
 Jesus Knows 24 
 
 Kitchen Clock, The 22 
 
 Kitty's Birds 30 
 
 Land of Counterpane, The 72 
 
 Life's Maxims 66 
 
 Light 32 
 
contents. 5 
 
 Little Acts of Kindness 8 
 
 Little Boy's First Recitation, A 46 
 
 Little Boy's Lament, The 68 
 
 Little Children 68 
 
 Little Fellow's Declamation 60 
 
 Little Peach, The 73 
 
 Looking Forward 84 
 
 Lulu Takes Care 17 
 
 Maud Muller New version 26 
 
 Memory Gems 46 
 
 Motes and Mountains 74 
 
 My Bed is a Boat 78 
 
 My Kingdom 84 
 
 New Book, A 8 
 
 Nose out of Joint 61 
 
 Old Rye's Speech 25 
 
 Oration For a six year old boy. . 55 
 
 Our Temperance Banner 89 
 
 Outside the Fold 29 
 
 Papa's Watch 37 
 
 Patriotism 24 
 
 Pet and Her Cat 12 
 
 Pretty is That Pretty Does 52 
 
 Princess Fuzz , 40 
 
 Prologue 7, 15 
 
 Ready for a Kiss 43 
 
 Reminding the Hen 18 
 
 Salutatory 42 
 
 Song of the Winds, The . 48 
 
 Speeches for Little Boys I 9, 33, 31, 58 
 
 Speeches for Little Girls 16, 21 
 
6 contents. 
 
 Speeches for Tots 38, 43 
 
 Spelling in the Nursery 64 
 
 Sun's Travels, The . . 75 
 
 Temperance Address 57 
 
 Temperance Speech 31, 41 
 
 Tom's Eyes and Mine 58 
 
 Truth 69 
 
 Two Monks and the Pilgrim, The 80 
 
 Valedictory 77 
 
 We Little Boys 22 
 
 Well Spent Sunday, The 67 
 
 When Santa Claus Comes 34 
 
 Which Loved Best ? 31 
 
 Whole Duty of Children, The 68 
 
 Willie's Tears 85 
 
 Winter Jewels. 74 
 
 Wonderful Weaver, The 45 
 
 Young Night Thought 88 
 
LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 FOR 
 
 LITTLE SPEAKERS. 
 
 PROLOGUE. 
 
 FOR A CHILD. 
 
 You must not mind my being so small. A 
 great oak-tree was once only a little acorn, and 
 the biggest Shanghai rooster you ever saw came 
 out of a little egg. A big fire can grow out of a 
 little spark, and a good deal can be said by a 
 little one like me. Did you ever see a magician 
 take funny things out of a hat, enough to cover 
 a big table ? I can do more than that. Out of 
 my little mouth I can shout enough welcome to 
 fill this Hall. {Raises voice) Welcome, dear 
 friends ; Welcome, all ! 
 
LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 A NEW BOOK. 
 
 When I am very big and old, 
 
 I'll write a book, all bound in gold. 
 
 These are the things of which I think 
 I'll write about with pen and ink. 
 
 My dickey-bird in his nice cage, 
 I'll write about him on one page. 
 
 I'll tell about my pussy cat, 
 Who goes to sleep upon the mat. 
 
 About the flowers that come and go 
 In my garden where they grow. 
 
 The other boys and girls I tell 
 Of mother dear, I love so well. 
 
 I'll write a book, all bound in gold, 
 When I'm a big man — five years old ! 
 
 LITTLE ACTS OF KINDNESS. 
 
 Little acts of kindness, 
 Like a summer flower, 
 
 Brighten many a weary face, 
 Soothe a lonely hour. 
 
 Hearts are full of sorrow, 
 
 Faces pale and sad : 
 We can bring them sunshine, 
 
 We can make them glad 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 
 
 Let us seek to scatter, 
 Let us seek to sow 
 
 Little seeds of kindness 
 Everywhere we go. 
 
 CHOICE OF TRADE. 
 
 A RECITATION FOR LITTLE BOYS. 
 
 From the "Popular Educator." 
 
 (Each Speaker mimics the motions he describes.) 
 
 FIRST BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 (I'll be a farmer, if I can — and I can! 
 
 I'll plow the ground, and the seed I'll sow ; 
 I'll reap the grain, and the grass I'll mow ; 
 I'll bind the sheaves, and I'll rake the hay, 
 And pitch it up on the mow away, 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 SECOND BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 I'll be a carpenter, if I can — and I can! 
 I'll plane like this, and I'll hammer so, 
 And this is the way my saw shall go. 
 I'll make bird-houses, and sleds and boats, 
 And a ship that shall race every craft that floats, 
 When I'm a man. 
 
10 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 THIRD BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 A blacksmith I'll be, if I can — and I can ! 
 Clang, clang, clang, shall my anvil ring, 
 And this is the way the blows I'll swing. 
 I'll shoe your horse, sir, neat and tight, 
 Then I'll trot round the square to see if it's 
 right, 
 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 FOURTH BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 A mason I'll be, if I can — and I can! 
 
 I'll lay a brick this way, and lay one that, 
 Then take my trowel and smooth them flat ; 
 Great chimneys I'll make ; I think I'll be able 
 To build one as high as the tower of Babel, 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 FIFTH BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 I'll be a shoemaker, if I can — and I can! 
 I'll sit on a bench, with my last held so, 
 And in and out shall my needles go. 
 I'll sew so strong and my work shall wear, 
 Till nothing is left but my stitches there, 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 SIXTH BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 A doctor I'll be, if I can — and I can! 
 
 My powders and pills shall be nice and sweet, 
 And you shall have just what you like to eat ; 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 11 
 
 I'll prescribe for your riding, and sailing, and 
 
 such ; 
 And 'bove all things you never must study too 
 
 much, 
 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 SEVENTH BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 I'll be a minister, if I can — and I can! 
 And once in a while a sermon I'll make 
 That will keep little boys and girls awake ; 
 For ah, dear me ! if the ministers knew 
 How glad we are when they get through ! — 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 EIGHTH BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 A teacher I'll be, if I can — and I can! 
 
 I'll sing to my scholars, fine stories I'll tell ; 
 I'll show them pictures, and, well — oh ! well, 
 They shall have some lessons — I s'pose they 
 
 ought ; 
 But, oh, I shall make them so very short, 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 NINTH BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 
 I'll be a school committee, if I can — and I can! 
 'Bout once a week I'll come into school, 
 And say " Miss Teacher, Fve made a rule 
 
 That boys and girls need a lot of play ; 
 
12 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 You may give these children a holiday ! " — 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 TENTH BOY. 
 
 When I'm a man, a man, 
 I'll be a president, if I can — and I can! 
 My uncles and aunts are a jolly set, 
 And I'll have them all in my cabinet, 
 I shall live in the White House ; and I hope 
 
 you all, 
 When you hear I'm elected, will give me a call, 
 When I'm a man. 
 
 ALL IN CONCERT. 
 
 When we are men, are men, 
 I hope we shall do great things ; and then, 
 Whatever we do, this thing we say, 
 We'll do our work in the very best way ; 
 And you shall see, if you know us then, 
 We'll be good, and honest, and useful men — 
 When we are men. 
 
 PET AND HER CAT. 
 
 From ** Harper s Young People." 
 
 Now, pussy, I've something to tell you : 
 You know it is New Year's day ; 
 The big folks are down in the parlor, 
 And mamma is just gone away. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 13 
 
 We are all alone in the nursery, 
 And I want to talk to you, dear ; 
 So you must come and sit by me, 
 And make believe you hear. 
 
 You see, there's a new year coming — 
 It only begins to-day. 
 Do you know I was often naughty 
 In the year that is gone away ? 
 
 You know I have some bad habits, 
 I'll mention just one or two ; 
 But there really is quite a number 
 Of naughty things that I do. 
 
 You see, I don't learn my lessons, 
 And oh ! I do hate them so ; 
 I doubt if I know any mora to-day 
 Than I did a year ago. 
 
 Perhaps I am awfully stupid ; 
 They say I'm a dreadful dunce. 
 How would you like to learn spelling ? 
 I wish you could try it once. 
 
 And don't you remember Christmas — 
 'Twas naughty, I must confess — 
 But while I was eating dinner 
 I got two spots on my dress. 
 
 And they caught me stealing the sugar; 
 But I only got two little bits, 
 When they found me there in the closet, 
 And frightened me out of my wits. 
 
14 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 And, pussy, when people scold me, 
 I'm always so sulky then ; 
 If they only would tell me gently, 
 I never would do it again. 
 
 Oh, pussy, I know I was naughty, 
 And often it makes me cry; 
 I think it would count for something, 
 If they knew how hard I try. 
 
 But I'll try again in the new year, 
 And oh, I shall be so glad 
 If I only can be a good little girl, 
 And never do anything bad ! 
 
 BABY. 
 
 GEORGE MACDONALD 
 
 Where did you come from, baby dear ? 
 Out of the everywhere into here. 
 
 Where did you get those eyes so blue ? 
 Out of the sky as I came through. 
 
 What makes the light in them sparkle and 
 
 spin ? 
 Some of the starry spokes left in. 
 
 Where did you get that little tear ? 
 I found it waiting when I got here. 
 
 What makes your forehead so smooth and high ? 
 A soft hand stroked it as I went by. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 15 
 
 What makes your cheek like a warm white rose? 
 
 I saw something better than any one knows. 
 
 Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss ? 
 
 Three angels gave me at once a kiss. 
 
 Where did you get this pearly ear ? 
 
 God spoke, and it came out to hear. 
 
 Where did you get those arms and hands ? 
 
 Love made itself into bonds and bands. 
 
 Feet, whence did you come, you darling things ? 
 
 From the same box as the cherubs' wings. 
 
 How did they all come to be you ? 
 
 God thought about me, and so I grew. 
 
 But how did you come to us, you dear ? 
 
 God thought about you, and so I am here. 
 
 PROLOGUE. 
 
 Ladies and Gentlemen : — You need not shud- 
 der in anticipation. I'm not going to make a 
 speech ; it is only girls and Italian organ-grind- 
 ers who like to have their ears bored, and in the 
 name of humanity, I will save you all the in- 
 fliction. 
 
 My sole object is to bid you, in the name of 
 all who intend to do their best to amuse }^ou 
 this evening, a right, hearty welcome. 
 
 Those of you who come out of pure curiosity 
 to see and hear what boys and girls can do, if 
 
16 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 they try, are very welcome, and we hope they 
 will not go away disappointed. 
 
 Those, who come to encourage us by their 
 presence, and have paid for their tickets, are 
 still more welcome. 
 
 Those, who have come with the determination 
 to be amused ; who are willing to make allow- 
 ance for all our defects and short-comings, and 
 favor us with their hearty applause, are the 
 most welcome of all. 
 
 Those, who, like Galleo, care for none of 
 these things, and come here because — well, per- 
 haps they don't know why, themselves ; we 
 welcome them also. And if they feel dissatisfied 
 at the close of the performance, they are entirely 
 welcome to ask for their money back, — but they 
 won't get it. Once more, kind friends, we bid 
 you all "Welcome!" 
 
 SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A YOUNG GIRL. 
 
 I never made a speech before, 
 But that's no reason why, 
 
 Because I never spoke before, 
 I ought not now to try. 
 
 There are some silly little girls 
 Who are afraid to speak, 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 17 
 
 For fear that some will laugh at them; 
 I think this very weak. 
 
 I hope I'll always have the sense 
 
 To do as I am told; 
 Then people will not laugh at me 
 
 Or think I am too bold. 
 
 LTJLTJ TAKES CABE. 
 
 They brushed the clothes all clean 
 
 One sunny April day — 
 Their winter fc clothes I mean — 
 
 They packed them all away 
 In paper boxes, tied around 
 
 With very strongest strings, 
 First freely sprinkling them with some 
 Tobacco dust and camphor gum, 
 
 And other sneezy things. 
 
 And when, their labor done, they ate 
 
 Their tea and toasted bread, 
 "Why, where is Kitty?" some one asked, 
 
 And " I know", Lulu said ; 
 " She's in my dolly's biggest trunk ; 
 
 I brushed and beated her ; 
 There c^n't not any moths, I dess, 
 
 Det into her nice fur. 
 She scratched my finger when I put 
 
 The camphor stuff about. 
 
18 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Div' me some toast that's buttered froo ! " 
 They left it all to her, and flew 
 To let poor Kitty out. 
 
 REMINDING THE HEN. 
 
 {The speaker should mimic hen-language when it 
 occurs?) 
 
 " It's well I ran into the garden," 
 
 Said Eddie, his face all aglow; 
 " For what do you think, mamma, happened ? 
 
 You never will guess it, I know. 
 
 "The little brown hen was there clucking; 
 
 ' Cut-cut ! ' she'd say, quick as a wink, 
 Then ' cut-cut !' again, only slower; 
 
 And then she would stop short and think. 
 
 "And then she would say it all over, 
 She did look so mad and so vexed ; 
 
 For, mamma, do you know she'd forgotten 
 The word that she ought to cluck next. 
 
 " So I said, ' Ca-dah-cut, ca-dah-cut,' 
 
 As loud^and as strong as I could, 
 And she looked round at me very thankful; 
 
 I tell you it made her feel good. 
 
 " Then she flapped and said, ' Cut-cut-ca-dah-cut;' 
 She remembered just how it went then. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 19 
 
 But it's well I ran into the garden, — 
 She might never have clucked right again ! " 
 
 SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A VERY SMALL BOY. 
 
 George Washington was once a boy, 
 And had to learn to spell; 
 
 They say he was his father's joy, 
 And that he learned right well. 
 
 He never spoke a lie, I'm told, 
 No matter where he went, 
 
 And by behaving good and bold 
 Became our President ! 
 
 Then who can tell but that I may 
 
 Become as great as he ? 
 And if I do, I hope that day 
 
 You all may live to see. 
 
 DEPOSED. 
 
 I'se a poor 'ittle sowwowful body, 
 An' B'idget's away down 'tairs; 
 
20 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 De kitten have scotched my finger, 
 
 An' my dolly 'on't say her pwayers ! 
 I'se jus' dot a 'ittle new buzzer — 
 
 Dod jus' sent him down tozzer day — 
 He kies and he kies so dwedful, 
 
 I 'iss Dod 'ood take him away ! 
 I ain't seen my bootiful mamma 
 
 Since ever so Ion' adoe, 
 An' I ain't her own darlin'est baby — 
 
 No londer, 'tause B'idget says so. 
 I'se a poor 'ittle sowwowful body, 
 
 An' B'idget's away down 'tairs; 
 De kitten have sc'atched my finger, 
 
 An' my Dolly 'on't say her pwayers ! 
 
 A BABTS REFLECTIONS. 
 
 From the London "Figaro" 
 
 I'm a very little baby, 
 
 Little face and hands and feet, 
 And my mother says she never 
 
 Saw a baby half so sweet. 
 It is nice to hear them talking 
 
 In that way, but I can see, 
 Oh, a lot of little babies 
 
 Who all look and laugh like me. 
 When I look out of the window 
 
 There's a baby in the glass, 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 21 
 
 And he waves his hand as I do 
 
 To the people as they pass; 
 When I put out hands to touch him 
 
 And to pat him on the cheek, 
 He will look and act as I do, 
 
 But he'll never, never speak. 
 There's a baby in the mirror, 
 
 There's a baby in the spoon, 
 And there's one in front of mother 
 
 When we play a little tune. 
 These are very funny babies; 
 
 Where I go they always come, 
 But I never hear them talking, 
 
 So I guess they're deaf and dumb. 
 
 A LITTLE GIRL'S SPEECH. 
 
 For older ones to speak a piece 
 
 Must be an easy task; 
 And of a little girl like me 
 
 'Tis not too much to ask. 
 
 I have to read, and write, and spell, 
 
 And say my tables, too; 
 And now you hear my little piece, 
 
 The best that I can do. 
 
 But when I am a woman grown, 
 
 If you'll come back some day, 
 
 I'll speak for you a longer piece 
 
LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Before I run away; 
 For then, you know, I'll want to talk, 
 But now I want to play. 
 
 WE LITTLE BOYS. 
 
 If older boys can make a speech, 
 
 We little boys can too; 
 And though we do not say so much, 
 
 Yet we've a word for you. 
 
 This world is large and full of room, 
 
 There is a place for all; 
 The rich, the poor, the wise, the good, 
 
 The large as well as small. 
 
 So give the little ones a chance 
 To show off what they know, 
 
 And shun us not because we're small, 
 For little boys will grow. 
 
 THE KITCHEN CLOCK 
 
 R. V. CHENEY. 
 A PATTER RECITATION. 
 
 Knitting is the maid of the kitchen, Milly ; 
 Doing nothing sits the chore-boy, Billy ; 
 "Seconds reckoned, 
 Seconds reckoned ; 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 23 
 
 Every minute, 
 Sixty in it. 
 
 Milly, Billy, I 
 
 Billy, Milly, 
 Tick-tock, tock-tick. 
 Nick-knock, knock-nick, 
 Knockety-nick, nickety-knock," 
 Goes the kitchen clock. 
 
 Closer to the fire is rosy Milly, 
 
 Every whit as close and cosy, Billy ; 
 
 "Time's a-flying, 
 
 Worth your trying ; 
 
 Pretty Milly— 
 
 Kiss her, Billy ! 
 
 Milly, Billy, 
 
 Billy, Milly, 
 
 Tick-tock, tock-tick, 
 
 Now — now, quick, quick ! 
 
 Knockety-nick, nickety-knock," 
 
 Goes the kitchen clock. 
 Something's happened ; very red is Milly ; 
 Billy boy is looking very silly ; 
 " Pretty misses, 
 Plenty kisses ; 
 Make it twenty, 
 Take a plenty. 
 Billy-Milly, 
 Milly-Billy, 
 Right-left, left-right, 
 That's right, all right. 
 
24 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Skippety-nick, rippety-knock," 
 Jumps the kitchen clock. 
 
 PATRIOTISM. 
 
 SIR WALTER SCOTT. 
 
 Breathes there the man with soul so dead 
 Who never to himself hath said : 
 
 This is my own, my native land ! 
 Whose heart hath ne'er within him burned, 
 As home his footsteps he hath turned 
 
 From wandering on a foreign strand ? 
 If such there breathe, go, mark him well ; ' 
 For him no minstrel raptures swell ; 
 High though his titles, power and name, 
 Boundless his wealth as wish can claim ; 
 Despite those titles, power and pelf, 
 The wretch, concentred all in self, 
 Living, shall forfeit fair renown, 
 And, doubly dying, shall go down 
 To the vile dust from whence he sprung — 
 Unwept, unhonored, and unsung. 
 
 JESTIS KNOWS. 
 
 All our little heart aches, 
 All our joys and woes, 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 25 
 
 All our hopes and wishes, 
 Jesus says He knows. 
 
 And our every action 
 
 Is to Jesus known, 
 From the time we're little, 
 
 Till we're fully grown. 
 
 When we play or study, 
 
 When we wake or sleep, 
 He delights to bless us, 
 
 And His children keep. 
 
 He will always guide us, 
 
 Listen to our prayers ; 
 For the loving Saviour 
 
 For His children cares. 
 
 OLD RYE'S SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A LITTLE BOY DECORATED WITH GRAIN. 
 
 I was made to be eaten, 
 
 And not to be drank j 
 To be threshed in a barn, 
 
 Not soaked in a tank. 
 
 I come as a blessing 
 
 When put through a mill ; 
 
 As a blight and a curse 
 When run through a still. 
 
26 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Make me up into loaves 
 
 And your children are fed; 
 
 But if into drink, 
 
 I will starve them instead. 
 
 In bread I'm a servant, 
 The eater shall rule ; 
 
 In drink I am master, 
 The drinker a fool. 
 
 Then remember the warning, 
 My strength I'll employ — 
 
 If eaten to strengthen^ 
 If drank to destroy. 
 
 MATID MULLER. 
 
 A NEW VERSION. 
 
 Maud Muller on von schummer day 
 Dings she go out und pitch some hay. 
 
 Under her hat midout some brim 
 
 She saw dot schudge uud schmiles at him> 
 
 He rides him down de lane dot day, 
 Und Maud was pitchen mit dot hay. 
 
 He does not know not mooch to talk, 
 Und he vonders to see Maud Muller valk 
 
 Mid all dose stubble und her bare feet, 
 So nice she look und smile so schweet. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 27 
 
 So he rides him oop close to dot vence 
 Und dings shoost vat he moost gommence. 
 Maud Muller stopped von bit or so 
 To bick von brier from her pig toe. 
 She saw dot schudge stop by dot road, 
 Und Hans drive off mid a vagon load. 
 So soon she leans on dot fork pitch, 
 Dot schudge geds off und his mule hitch. 
 Und den he says he dings it rains, 
 Und dalks of vedder und rooster vanes. 
 Und ven Hans cooms und load to get 
 She stands dare mit dot pitchfork yet. 
 At last, like von dat vants more peer, 
 Dot schudge he rides avay mid here. 
 Maud Muller looked und said, " I vow 
 It would be nice to be his frow. 
 "He geds me den some Grecian bendt, 
 Und ear-rings vot cosd fifty cent. 
 " Und den I tings we have mooch peer, 
 Und not no more I hay pitch here." 
 
 Dot schudge he dings ven he get away 
 Dot Deutscher girl mid barefoot hay, 
 
 She would be shtout to do some chores 
 Ven it's doo bad to go out doors. 
 
 He took von frow who got some tin, 
 Und Maud she cooms und vork for him. 
 
 Und Hans he never forgets dot day, 
 
 For dot rain cooms down und spoils dot hay. 
 
28 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 I'LL BE A MAN. 
 
 I'm but a little fellow now, 
 Between three feet and four, 
 
 But if I keep growing fast 
 I'll soon be three feet more. 
 
 A tippler I will never be, 
 No drop my lips will pass, 
 
 I'll sign the true teetotal pledge, 
 And keep it to the last. 
 
 With knowledge I must store my mind, 
 For though I'm e'er so tall, 
 
 If I am rude and ignorant 
 I shall be very small. 
 
 EPILOGUE. 
 
 Dear papas and mammas, and brothers and 
 
 sisters — 
 And dozens on dozens of misses and misters,— 
 My speech, I've no doubt, you will hail with 
 
 delight, 
 When I say I'm the last little speaker to-night. 
 But remember, you big, grown-up folks, one 
 
 and all 
 Were once just like us, — just as young, — just as 
 
 small. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 29 
 
 If we cannot do much, — if our voices are weak, 
 
 We at least do our best when our pieces we 
 speak. 
 
 Though our actions be faulty, our words full 
 of flaws, 
 
 We have tried to amuse you and win your 
 applause. 
 
 Won't you give it us ? Surely, 'twould only 
 be right ; 
 
 You can give it us now, as I bid you " good- 
 night." 
 
 OUTSIDE THE FOLD. 
 
 EDWARD WILLETT. 
 
 Weak and sinful as I am, 
 
 One hope I hold ; 
 Jesus will not leave His lamb 
 
 Outside the fold ; 
 
 Though I chance to slip or stray, 
 
 As children will, 
 Jesus' eye, by night or day, 
 
 Beholds me still. 
 
 He will save me yet from sin 
 
 And all its harms, 
 Holding, folding me within 
 
 His loving arms. 
 
30 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Though I blindly lose my way 
 
 In night and cold, 
 Jesus will not let me stay 
 
 Outside the fold. 
 
 KITTY'S BIRD'S. 
 
 FOR A LITTLE GIRL. 
 
 ANNIE CHASE. 
 
 We birdies once loved little Kitty, 
 
 She never wears a frown ; 
 Her hair is curling and golden, 
 
 Her eyes are a beautiful brown. 
 We fly down one day to her window — 
 
 She feeds us there sometimes with crumbs — 
 And all of us think, " We're so hungry, 
 
 We'll wait here till Miss Kitty comes." 
 We all peep in at the window; 
 
 There's her dress and — mercy ! what's that ? 
 A poor, dear, dead, little birdie 
 
 Sewed on to the crown of her hat. 
 Away we all fly in a twinkling, 
 
 We used to think Kitty was kind, 
 But since we peeped at her new bonnet 
 
 Every birdie has altered his mind. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 31 
 
 TEMPERANCE SPEECH. 
 
 Oh ! ask me not to take the cup ; 
 
 Within it lurks a foe ; 
 If I should drink its contents up, 
 
 'Twould surely bring me woe. 
 
 Hence, when I am asked by friends to drink, 
 
 The lure I will forego ; 
 I'll pause, and of the pledge I'll think, 
 
 Then firmly answer NO ! 
 
 WHICH LOVED BEST? 
 
 "I love you, mother," said little John ; 
 Then forgetting his word, his cap went on, 
 And he was off to the garden swing, 
 And left her wood and water to bring 
 
 " I love you, mother," said Rosy Nell ; 
 " I love you better than tongue can tell." 
 Then she teased and pouted full half a day, 
 Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play. 
 
 "I love you, mother," said little Fan; 
 " To-day I'll help you all I can. 
 How glad I am that school doesn't keep ! " 
 So the baby she rocked till it fell asleep. 
 
 Then stepping softly, she brought a broom, 
 And swept the floor and tidied the room ; 
 
32 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Busy and happy all day was she, 
 Helpful and happy as child could be. 
 
 " I love you, mother," again they said — 
 Three little children going to bed. 
 How do you think that mother guessed 
 Which of them really loved her best ? 
 
 LIGHT. 
 
 F. W. BOURDILLON. 
 
 The night has a thousand eyes, 
 
 And the day but one ; 
 Yet the light of the bright world dies 
 
 With the dying sun. 
 
 The mind has a thousand eyes, 
 
 And the heart but one; 
 Yet the light of a whole life dies 
 
 When love is done. 
 
 " I F." 
 
 If I had been made a rooster, 
 Of course I could only crow ; 
 
 If I were a chicken or a hen, 
 I'd have to cackle, you know. 
 
 If I had been made a pussy cat, 
 I could only say, " Mew, mew ; " 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 83 
 
 If I were a dog, to bark and howl 
 Would be all that I could do. 
 
 But do you see ? I am none of these ; 
 
 I'm a little talking girl, 
 And mother says that every word 
 
 From my lips should be a pearl — 
 
 Bright and polished with cheery tones, 
 
 And set in a loving smile. 
 Think of the pearls in a single day — 
 
 For I'm talking all the while ! 
 
 SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A LITTLE BOY. 
 
 SYLVIA MANNING. 
 From the "Popular Educator" 
 
 I'm going to be a wise man, 
 As you may plainly see ; 
 If I do all the good I can, 
 There'll be a place for me. 
 
 I know that I am very small, 
 I'm scarcely three feet high : 
 But, then, when I am big and tall, 
 Won't I be smart? Oh, my! 
 
 So, then, I must my lessons get, 
 My teachers kind obey; 
 
34 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 I never must get cross and fret, 
 But pleasant be each day. 
 
 Wishing that we may all do right, 
 I ask to be excused ; 
 I'll bid you all a kind good-night, 
 Hoping you've been amused. 
 
 WHEN SANTA CLAUS COMES. 
 
 A good time is coming — I wish it were here, 
 The very best time in the whole of the year. 
 I'm counting each day on my fingers and thumbs, 
 The week that must pass before Santa Claus 
 comes. 
 
 Good-by for a while, then, to lessons and school ; 
 We can laugh, talk and sing without breaking 
 
 the rule ; 
 No troublesome spelling, nor writing, nor sums ; 
 There's nothing but playtime when Santa Claus 
 
 comes. 
 
 I suppose I shall have a new dolly, of course ; 
 My last one was killed by a fall from her horse, 
 And for Harry and Jack there '11 be trumpets 
 
 and drums^ 
 To deafen us all with, when Santa Claus comes. 
 
 I'll hang up my stocking to hold what he 
 
 brings ; 
 I hope he will fill it with lots of nice things. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 35 
 
 He must know how dearly I love sugar plums, 
 And like a big box full when Santa Claus 
 comes. 
 
 And now that the snow-flakes begin to come 
 
 down, 
 And the wind whistles sharp and the branches 
 
 are brown, 
 I don't mind the cold, that my fingers benumbs, 
 For it brings the time nearer when Santa Claus 
 
 comes. 
 
 THE FALLING SNOW. 
 
 See the pretty snow-flakes 
 Falling from the sky ! 
 
 On the walls and house-tops 
 Soft and thick they lie. 
 
 On the window-ledges, 
 On the branches bare, 
 
 See how fast they gather, 
 Filling all the air. 
 
 Look into the garden, 
 
 Where the grass was green ; 
 Covered now by snow-flakes, 
 
 Not a blade is seen. 
 
36 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Now the bare black bushes 
 
 All look soft and white ; 
 Every twig snow-laden, 
 
 What a pretty sight ! 
 Don't forget the birdies, 
 
 Now that winter comes; 
 Pitying their hunger, 
 
 Scatter out your crumbs. 
 Think, too, in the winter, 
 
 Of the hungry poor ; 
 Let them find a welcome 
 
 When coming to your door 
 
 EPILOGUE. 
 
 And now, dear friends, our task is done. 
 
 We've done our prettiest, every one. 
 
 We've tried each other to excel, 
 
 And hope you think we've all done well. 
 
 It's hard for little ones like us 
 
 To learn our pieces, verse for verse. 
 
 We're young, but as we older get 
 
 We'll try to learn them better yet. 
 
 Now, all who think we've earned your praise, 
 
 Be kind enough right hands to raise. 
 
 Oh ! what a lot of hands ! That's right ! 
 
 Thanks for your kindness— Friends, good-night! 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 37 
 
 A SHORT SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A VERY LITTLE BOY. 
 
 A big boy could stand up here 
 
 And say a lot to you, 
 But I am so very small 
 
 I don't know what to do ; 
 So if you will pass me by, 
 
 And wait till I am older, 
 Then I'll speak a piece to you, 
 
 For I shall be much bolder. 
 
 THE GENTLE CHILD. 
 
 The gentle child, who lives to please, 
 Who will not quarrel, fret, nor tease, 
 And never says an angry word, — 
 That child is pleasing to the Lord. 
 
 PAPA'S WATCH. 
 
 Oh ! no, 'tisn't so ! 
 
 Papa's watch won't go ? 
 
 It must go — guess I know ! 
 
 Last night I wound it tight, 
 
 And greased it nice with camphor-ice. 
 
38 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A VERY LITTLE CHILD. 
 
 I've been to school, 
 And learned to spell ; 
 
 Fve said my lessons 
 Quick and well. 
 
 And now I'm glad 
 That school is done, 
 
 So I can play 
 
 And have some fun. 
 
 THE GIRL WHO IS ALWAYS GOOD. 
 
 She never sighs ; 
 
 She never grumbles ; 
 She never cries 
 
 When down she tumbles 
 
 She never soils 
 
 Her pretty dresses ; 
 She never spoils 
 
 Her silken tresses. 
 
 With cap on head, 
 
 And wee hands folded, 
 
 She's put to bed, 
 And never scolded. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 39 
 
 Oh, she's a pearl ! 
 
 No mischief scheming ; 
 There's such a girl, — 
 
 Don't think I'm dreaming. 
 
 But not to tell 
 
 Her name were folly ; 
 You know her well, 
 
 For she's your dolly ! 
 
 GENERAL GRANT. 
 
 A DECLAMATION. 
 
 Had Grant died at the tan-yard, or from behind 
 the counter, the world would never have sus- 
 pected that it had lost a hero. He would have 
 fallen as an undistinguishable leaf among the 
 millions cast down every year. His time had 
 not come — but it was coming ! Already the 
 clouds afar off were gathering. He saw them 
 not. No figures were seen upon the dim horizon 
 of the already near future. The insulted flag ; 
 the garments rolled in blood ; a million men in 
 arms ; the sulphurous smoke of battle ; gory 
 heaps upon desperate battle-fields ; an army of 
 slowly-moving, crippled heroes ; grave-yards 
 populous as cities ; they were all in the clouded 
 horizon, though he saw them not ! 
 
40 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Into this sulphurous storm of war Grant 
 entered almost unknown. In four years he had 
 risen, without political favor, from the bottom 
 to the highest command — not second to any- 
 living commander in all the world ! But he 
 fought not for reputation, nor for the display of 
 generalship, nor for a future presidency. He 
 had but one motive, and that as intense as life 
 itself — the subjugation of the rebellion and the 
 restoration of the broken Union. Every step 
 from Donelson to Appomattox evinced with 
 increasing intensity this his one terrible purpose. 
 He never wavered, turned aside or dallied. He 
 waded through blood to the horses' bridles. He 
 had the patience of Fate and the force of Thor. 
 At the same time, he seems to have been the 
 only man in camp who was ignorant of his own 
 greatness. He rests in peace. No drum or 
 cannon can disturb his rest. Sleep, hero, until 
 another trump shall shake the heavens and the 
 earth. 
 
 PRINCESS FUZZ. 
 
 Tis said "Fine feathers make fine birds"; 
 No doubt we must believe the words. 
 
 But, "Handsome is that handsome does," 
 Though all can't dress like Princess Fuzz. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 41 
 
 Fine dress is well ; but don't be vain, 
 Like Princess Fuzz in her disdain. 
 
 Of all the jewels 'neath the sun, 
 None can be brighter than this one, — 
 
 A loving heart and willing hand, 
 Not dress, make friends in every land. 
 
 DID YOU THINK TO PRAY? 
 
 Ere you left the room this morning, 
 
 Did you think to pray ? 
 In the name of Christ our Savior, 
 Did you sue for loving favor, 
 
 As a shield to-day ? 
 
 When your heart was filled with anger, 
 
 Did you think to pray ? 
 Did you plead for grace, my brother, 
 That you might forgive another 
 
 Who had crossed your way ? 
 
 A SHORT TEMPERANCE SPEECH. 
 
 I do not think it best 
 
 To wait till I'm a man, 
 But sign the temperance pledge 
 
 As early as I can. 
 
42 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Let's be teetotal boys 
 
 Till we grow up, and then, 
 
 Tis my opinion, with God's help, 
 We'll be teetotal men. 
 
 SALUTATORY. 
 
 L. CROSBY. 
 FOR A SMALL BOY OR GIRL. 
 From the "Popular Educator" 
 
 A welcome, friends, assembled here, 
 
 To this, our exhibition ! 
 Your every hope to satisfy 
 
 Is all of our ambition. 
 
 We know our talent is but small 
 
 In lessons or in speeches, 
 Yet we will try to entertain 
 
 Far as our knowledge reaches. 
 
 The boys and girls, both, I believe, 
 In speaking take great pleasure, 
 
 And many have a speech prepared 
 To please you in a measure. 
 
 And now we trust you will be pleased, 
 
 Excuse equivocation, 
 For, friends, you know I yet am young 
 
 To make a great oration. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 43 
 
 And many of my schoolmates here 
 
 In this art rank much higher ; 
 So, friends, I leave the floor to them, 
 
 And beg leave to retire. 
 
 SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A VERY SMALL CHILD. 
 
 I am my papa's little pet ; 
 
 I love my book right well ; 
 I hope, before another year, 
 
 I'll learn to read and spell. 
 
 READY FOR A KISS. 
 
 Mamma, I'se been washin' — 
 
 Don't you see I has ? 
 Curled my hair my own se'f, 
 
 Sweetest ever was ! 
 Nozzer time I was not 
 
 Half so nice as this — 
 See, I'se fixed up, mamma, 
 
 Ready for a kiss ! 
 
 Johnny's having trouble — 
 Dreffle trouble, too — 
 
 Birds'-eggs in his pocket 
 Keeps a-coming froo ! 
 
44 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 I ain't a dirty baby — 
 Does you think I is ? 
 
 Fse your little Taddie, 
 Ready for a kiss ! 
 
 A CATASTROPHE. 
 
 PELEG ARKWRIGHT 
 
 No human being who saw that sight 
 
 But felt a shudder of pale affright. 
 
 He sat in a window three stories high, 
 
 A little baby, with no one nigh. 
 
 A stranger saw him, and stopped to stare ; 
 
 A crowd soon gathered to watch him there. 
 
 A gleam — a nutter ! in airy flight, 
 
 Came past the window a butterfly bright. 
 
 From fields of clover and perfumed air, 
 
 Wayfaring insect, what brought you there ? 
 
 The baby saw it, and eagerly 
 
 Reached out to catch it, crowing with glee. 
 
 With fat, pink fingers reached out — and fell ! 
 The awful horror, no tongue can tell. 
 Poor little baby — so sweet and bright ! 
 Pale faces quivered and lips grew white ; 
 Weak women fainted, strong men grew weak, 
 Up rose one woman's heart-piercing shriek. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 45 
 
 Hurrah for the awning ! Upon the fly 
 It caught the youngster and tossed him high. 
 The bounce prodigious made baby scowl ; 
 He caught his breath, sir, and set up a howl. 
 All blessed the awning that had no flaw ; — 
 But a madder baby you never saw ! 
 
 THE WONDERFUL WEAVER. 
 
 Fro??i the "Popular Educator." 
 
 There's a wonderful weaver 
 
 High up in the air, 
 And he weaves a white mantle 
 
 For cold earth to wear. 
 With the wind for his shuttle, 
 
 The cloud for his loom, 
 How he weaves, how he weaves, 
 
 In the light, in the gloom ! 
 
 Oh ! with finest of laces 
 
 He decks bush and tree ; 
 On the bare, flinty meadows 
 
 A cover lays he. 
 Then a quaint cap he places 
 
 On pillar and post ; 
 And he changes the pump 
 
 To a grim, silent ghost. 
 
46 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 But this wonderful weaver 
 
 Grows weary at last, 
 And the shuttle lies idle 
 
 That once flew so fast. 
 Then the sun peeps abroad 
 
 On the work that is done ; 
 And he smiles, " I'll unravel 
 
 It all, just for fun !" 
 
 MEMORY GEMS. 
 
 Good boys and girls should never say. 
 
 " I will ! " and " Give me these ! " 
 Oh, no ! that never is the way; 
 
 But, " Mother, if you please." 
 And, " If you please," to sister Ann, 
 
 Good boys to say are ready; 
 And "Yes, sir/' to a gentleman, 
 
 And " Yes, ma'am," to a lady. 
 
 A LITTLE BOYS FIRST RECITATION. 
 
 I think it's not an easy task 
 
 To speak a piece in school, 
 But still I do not wish to ask 
 
 To be excused the rule. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 47 
 
 For little boys must some day take 
 
 The places of the men, 
 And if they would good speakers make, 
 
 Must try and try again. 
 
 This be our motto ; and now here 
 
 I'll close my little rhyme, 
 Hoping should I again appear 
 
 To better do next time. 
 
 A CHILD'S EVENING PRAYER. 
 
 MARY L. DUNCAN. 
 
 Jesus, tender Shepherd, hear me ! 
 
 Bless Thy little lamb to-night ; 
 Through the darkness be Thou near me, 
 
 Watch my sleep till morning light. 
 
 All the day Thy hand has led me, 
 And I thank Thee for Thy care ; 
 
 Thou hast clothed me, warmed and fed me ; 
 Listen to my evening prayer. 
 
 Let my sins be all forgiven, 
 
 Bless the friends I love so well ; 
 
 Take me, when I die, to Heaven, 
 Happy there with Thee to dwell ! 
 
48 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 THE SONG OF THE WINDS. 
 
 L. R. ALLIN. 
 From thi lt Popular Educator ■." 
 
 FOR FOUR LITTLE GIRLS. 
 
 (Dressed to personify the four seasons.) 
 
 FIRST GIRL. 
 
 I am the East wind, 
 
 Bringing the showers 
 To water the violets 
 
 And sweet woodland flowers. 
 
 I waft the robin 
 
 Back to his nest, 
 I wake the earth up 
 
 From its long rest. 
 
 I sigh through the tree-tops, 
 
 A soft little breeze ; 
 I'm the breath of the spring-time 
 
 That calls back the leaves. 
 
 SECOND GIRL. 
 
 I am the South wind, 
 
 Summer I bring, 
 Wherever I wander 
 
 Sweet .perfumes I fling. 
 
 I wave the long grasses 
 And shake out the seeds, 
 
 I play by the river 
 Among the tall reeds. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 49 
 
 I rock the wee birdies 
 
 Asleep in their nest, 
 I ruffle the feathers 
 
 On the mother-bird's breast. 
 
 THIRD GIRL. 
 
 I am the West wind, 
 
 I blow through the year, 
 But I am happiest 
 
 When autumn is here. 
 
 On clear, frosty mornings 
 
 I blow through the trees, 
 I shake each tiny twig 
 
 And away whirl the leaves. 
 
 I shake down the walnuts, 
 
 And chestnuts too, 
 To feed the squirrels 
 
 The long winter through. 
 
 FOURTH GIRL. 
 
 Out from the icy north 
 
 I fill the sky 
 With sleet and with snow, 
 
 For the North-wind am I ! 
 
 My breath is the hoar-frost, 
 
 The ice fills the river, 
 I make all the alders 
 
 Rustle and shiver ! 
 
 And the white snowflakes 
 As downward they fly, 
 
50 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 I whirl them and toss them 
 And heap them up high. 
 
 GEORGE WASHINGTON. 
 
 From the "Popular Educator" 
 A RECITATION FOR FIVE SMALL BOYS. 
 
 (Let each boy hold in his right hand a card with date, 
 lifting it high during his recitation.) 
 
 1732. 
 In seventeen hundred thirty-two 
 
 George Washington was born ; 
 Truth, goodness, skill and glory high, 
 
 His whole life did adorn. 
 
 1775. 
 In seventeen hundred seventy-five, 
 
 The chief command he took 
 Of all the army in the State, 
 
 Who ne'er his flag forsook: 
 
 1783. 
 In seventeen hundred eighty-three, 
 
 Retired to private life ; 
 He saw his much-loved country free 
 
 From battle and from strife. 
 
 1789. 
 In seventeen hundred eighty-nine 
 The country, with one voice, 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 51 
 
 Proclaimed him President, to shine, 
 Blessed by the people's choice. 
 
 1799. 
 In seventeen hundred ninty-nine 
 
 The Nation's tears were shed, 
 To see the Patriot life resign, 
 
 And sleep among the dead 
 
 ALL. 
 
 As " first in war, and first in peace ", 
 
 As patriot, father, friend, — 
 He will be blessed till time shall cease, 
 
 And earthly life shall end. 
 
 THE CATS' SERENADE. 
 
 Three little Tom-cats went out for a spree, 
 And they climbed on the kitchen tiles, 
 
 And they joined in a very unmusical glee, 
 All singing in different styles. 
 
 One high, one low, they squealed and strained, 
 
 Each one in a different tune ; 
 To look at their music, it must be explained, 
 
 They'd only the light of the moon. 
 
 Now just as their squalling had reached to its 
 height 
 A boot was thrown out with a yell, 
 And the blackest Tom-cat he turned pale with 
 affright, 
 And it stopped all their singing as well. 
 
52 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Then whack ! came a brick in the midst of the 
 three, 
 And each of them caught such a blow, 
 That they all saw at once 'twas the end of their 
 spree, 
 And agreed it was time they should go. 
 
 Tom Black had a rather bad knock on his nose ; 
 
 Tom Tab had a crack on the cheek ; 
 Tom White on his tail had some terrible blows, 
 
 And they could'nt come out for a week. 
 
 PRETTY IS THAT PRETTY DOES. 
 
 From the ' * Popular Educator ". 
 
 The spider wears a plain brown dress, 
 And she is a steady spinner ; 
 To see her, quiet as a mouse, 
 Going about her silver house, 
 You'd never, never, never guess, 
 
 The way she gets her dinner. 
 
 She looks as if no thought of ill 
 
 In all her life had stirred her; 
 But while she moves with careful tread, 
 And while she spins her silken thread, 
 She's planning, planning, planning still 
 The way to do some murder ! 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 53 
 
 My child, who reads this simple lay 
 
 With eyes down-dropt and tender, 
 Remember, the old proverb goes 
 That "pretty is which pretty does", 
 That worth will neither go nor stay 
 For poverty or splendor. 
 
 'Tis not the house, 'tis not the dress, 
 
 That makes the saint or sinner, 
 To see the spider sit and spin, 
 Shut with her webs of silver in, 
 You'd never, never, never guess 
 
 The way she gets her dinner. 
 
 THE CONCEITED GRASSHOPPER. 
 
 There was a little grasshopper 
 
 Forever on the jump ; 
 And as he never looked ahead, 
 
 He often got a bump. 
 
 His mother said to him one day, 
 As they were in the stubble, 
 
 "If you don't look before you leap, 
 You'll get yourself in trouble." 
 
 The silly little grasshopper 
 Despised his wise old mother, 
 
 And said he knew what best to do, 
 And bade her not to bother. 
 
54 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 He hurried off across the field — 
 An unknown path he took — 
 
 When, oh ! he gave a heedless jump, 
 And landed in the brook. 
 
 He struggled hard to reach the bank — 
 A floating straw he seizes — 
 
 When quick a hungry trout darts out, 
 And tears him all to pieces. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 Good little boys, and girls, heed well 
 Your mother's wise advice ; 
 
 Before you move, look carefully, 
 Before you speak, think twice. 
 
 BABY'S FIRST TOOTH. 
 
 BY THE BABY'S BROTHER. 
 
 Mamma she came down all smiles and delight, 
 And she kissed all us children twice round, 
 
 And the nurse looked so cheery and happy and 
 bright, 
 As if something nice she had found. 
 
 And as to papa, he too looked quite gay, 
 
 As down to our breakfast we sat ; 
 And when to the train he was going away 
 
 H3 was almost forgetting his hat ! 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 55 
 
 And what do you think all this stir was 
 about ?— 
 This bother and rumpus, forsooth ? — 
 You'd think something funny had happened, 
 no doubt ; 
 'Twas baby had cut his first tooth ! 
 Just a wee little dot peeping out through his 
 gums, 
 As he bites at his ivory ring ; 
 And we've all got to feel with our fingers and 
 thumbs, 
 As if 'twas a wonderful thing ! 
 
 Now, I'm only a boy, and I'm puzzled in truth, 
 And a reason I've never heard yet, 
 
 Why more should be made over baby's one tooth 
 Than was made over Granny's new set ! 
 
 AN ORATION. 
 
 FOR A SIX YEAR OLD BOY. 
 
 I think it's real mean of people to put me 
 down on the p — r — o^g — r — a — m, I think 
 there's another m, and an e, — yes, — on the pro- 
 gramme for an o — r — a — s — h — , no, no! t-i-o-n, 
 — an oration, instead of a little short piece. 
 
 They told me I must speak in a g — r — a — n — d 
 — i — 1 — o — (makes a long sigh) — 1-o-q-u-e-n-t — , 
 grandil — dil — grandi — lo — quent style. What a 
 
56 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 funny word a "style" is! I wonder why they 
 put a "y " in the middle of it ! Perhaps 'cause 
 you have to open your legs wide to get over it. 
 
 Now ! hear me orate ! (recites with extravagant 
 gestures?) 
 
 When, in the course of human events, 
 Under a palpably false pretense, 
 A small boy tries to soar up high, 
 Like a spread-eagle, to the sky ; 
 To make an oration presumes to dare — 
 My countrymen ! Oh, what a fall is there ! 
 " Breathes there a man" — 
 
 (Suddenly quiets down, smiles ; proceeds naturally.) 
 
 Oh ! Draw it mild — 
 I'm not a man, — I'm but a child. 
 Just wait, kind friends ; when older I grow 
 I'll orate till I set your hearts aglow. 
 Just now I'm much too small. Oh, my ! 
 I'm sorry, — excuse me. Dear friends, good-bye ! 
 
 CONCERT RECITATION. 
 
 SILVIA MANNING. 
 
 From the "Popular Educator". 
 
 We are busy little bees, 
 
 We are workers, one and all ; 
 We try our teacher dear to please, 
 
 We're bright although we're small. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 57 
 
 We must come to school each day, 
 
 If we would wiser grow ; 
 In the pleasant month of May, 
 
 And through the winter's snow. 
 
 Day by day and year by year, 
 
 We'll climb the ladder high ; 
 We'll never fail, we need not fear, 
 
 With the motto "We will try". 
 
 The great wide world before us lies. 
 
 There's work for us to do ; 
 If we would win the victor's prize, 
 
 We must be brave and true. 
 
 AMBITION. 
 
 I'm very young for a soldier, 
 That you can plainly see ; 
 
 But if you'll only wait awhile 
 You'll hear great deeds of me. 
 
 TEMPERANCE ADDRESS. 
 
 FOR A VERY YOUNG LECTURER. 
 
 I think that every mother's son, 
 And every father's daughter, 
 
 Should drink,— at least till twenty-one,- 
 Just nothing but cold water. 
 
58 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 And after that they might drink tea, 
 But nothing any stronger. 
 
 If all folks would agree with me 
 They'd live a great deal longer. 
 
 SPEECH. 
 
 FOR A SMALL BOY. 
 
 It is a trying thing to me 
 To get up here where all can see, 
 And make a speech before a crowd, 
 For you must know I can't speak loud. 
 
 But then I thought, as I was dressed, 
 I'd come and do my very best ; 
 Some credit you will give me now, 
 As to the ladies here I bow. 
 
 TOMS EYES AND MINE. 
 
 FOR A LITTLE GIRL. 
 
 Front Jhc "Popular Educator" 
 
 My brother Tom is just too mean, 
 And says the very worst of things 
 
 About my lovely doll Irene, 
 
 Who's just an angel, all but wings. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 59 
 
 He says her face is made of wax, 
 And that her curls are not real hair, 
 
 But only common yellow flax, 
 
 And that 'tis paint that makes her fair. 
 
 Tom's eyes are not like mine, I know, 
 
 Or he could see her almost cry, 
 To hear him talk about her so, 
 
 And not be able to reply. 
 
 But boys are only boys, you know, 
 You can't expect too much of them, 
 
 I only wonder that they grow 
 In one and twenty years to men. 
 
 THE BRAVEST THING. 
 
 Would ye learn the bravest thing 
 
 That man can ever do ? 
 Would ye be an uncrowned king, 
 
 Absolute and true? 
 
 Would ye seek to emulate, 
 
 All we learn in story 
 Of the moral, just, and great, 
 
 Rich in real glory ? 
 
 Would ye lose much bitter cars 
 
 In your lot below ? 
 Bravely speak out, when and where 
 
 Tis right to utter, " No ! " 
 
60 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 LITTLE FELLOWS DECLAMATION. 
 
 They thought I couldn't make a speech, 
 
 I'm such a little tot ! 
 I'll show them whether I can do 
 
 A thing or two, or not. 
 Don't be afraid to fight the Wrong, 
 
 Or stand up for the Right ; 
 And when you've nothing else to say, 
 
 Be sure you say, — Good night ! — 
 
 FOR DECORATION DAY. 
 
 Let little hands bring blossoms sweet 
 
 To brave men, lying low ; 
 Let little hearts to soldiers dead 
 
 Their love and honor show. 
 
 We'll love the flag they loved so well, 
 The dear old banner bright ; 
 
 We'll love the land for which they fell 
 With soul, and strength, and might ! 
 
 CHRISTMAS BELLS. 
 
 I heard the bells on Christmas Day 
 Their old, familiar carols play, 
 
 And wild and sweet 
 
 The words repeat 
 Of peace on earth, good-will to men ! 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 61 
 
 I thought how, as the day had come, 
 The belfries of all Christendom 
 
 Had rolled along 
 
 The unbroken song 
 Of peace on earth, good-will to men. 
 Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, 
 " God is not dead ; nor doth he sleep ! 
 
 The wrong shall fail, 
 
 The right prevail, 
 With peace on earth, good- will to men ! M 
 
 NOSE OUT OF JOINT. 
 
 CHARLES FOLLEN ADAMS. 
 A WAIL BY NUMBER TWO. 
 
 Mozzer bought a baby, 
 
 'Ittle bitsey sing ; 
 
 Sinks I mos' could put him 
 
 Frou my yubber ying. 
 
 Ain't he awful ugly ? 
 
 Ain't he awful pink ? 
 
 "Just come down from heaven "«— 
 
 Yat's a fib, I sink. 
 
 Doctor tor anozzer 
 
 Great big awful lie ; 
 
 Nose ain't out o'joint, zen, 
 
 Yat ain't why I cry. 
 
 Mamma stays up in bedroom — ■ 
 
 Guess he makes her sick. 
 
62 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 Fro' him in the gutter, 
 Beat him wiz a stick. 
 
 Cuddle him and love him ! 
 Call him "Blessed sing"! 
 Don't care if my kite ain't 
 Got a bit of string ! 
 Send me off with Bridget 
 Every single day, — 
 " Be a good boy, Charley, 
 Run away and play." 
 
 Said " I ought to love him " ! 
 No, I won't ! no, zur ! 
 Nassy cryin' baby, 
 Not got any hair. 
 Got all my nice kisses, 
 Got my place in bed, — 
 Mean to take my drumsticks 
 And beat him on the head. 
 
 ILL PUT IT OFF. 
 
 Some little folks are apt to say 
 When asked their task to touch, 
 
 " I'll put it off, at least to-day ; 
 It cannot matter much." 
 
 Time is always on the wing ; 
 
 You cannot stop its flight ; 
 Then do at once your little task ; 
 
 You'll happier be at night. 
 
FOB LITTLE SPEAKERS. 63 
 
 For little duties, still put off, 
 
 Will end in " Never Done " ; 
 And " Bye-and-bye is time enough ", 
 
 Has ruined many a one. 
 
 CHICKADEE. 
 
 All the earth is wrapt in snow, 
 O'er the hills the cold winds blow, 
 Thro* the valley down below 
 
 Whirls the blast. 
 All the mountain brooks are still, 
 Not a ripple from the hill, 
 For each tiny, murmuring rill 
 
 Is frozen fast. 
 
 Come with me 
 
 To the tree 
 Where the apples used to hang ! 
 
 Follow me 
 
 To the tree 
 Where the birds of summer sang ! 
 There's a happy fellow there, 
 For the cold he does not care, 
 And he always calls to me, 
 
 " Chickadee, chickadee ! " 
 
 He's a merry little fellow, 
 Neither red nor blue nor yellow, 
 For he wears a coat of gray ; 
 
64 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 And his cheery little voice 
 Makes my happy heart rejoice, 
 While he calls the live-long day — 
 
 Calls to me — 
 
 " Chickadee ! " 
 
 From the leafless apple-tree, 
 
 11 Chickadee, chickadee ! " 
 
 Then he hops from bow to twig, 
 
 Tapping on each tiny sprig, 
 
 Calling happily to me, 
 " Chickadee ! " 
 
 He's a merry little fellow, 
 Neither red nor blue nor yellow, 
 He's the cheery bird of winter, 
 " Chickadee ! " 
 
 SPELLING IN THE NURSERY, 
 
 " G — u — n," said Gracie to Willie, 
 
 " What does that spell ?"— " I don't know." 
 
 He is three, and she is seven. 
 
 " G— u— n ! Goose ? "— " Oh, dear, no ! " 
 
 " Rooster ? Boy ? Stick ? " but each time 
 
 Gracie shook her curly head, 
 
 " 'Tain't conundrums I am giving, 
 
 But a lesson-word instead." 
 
 " When a little boy is shooting 
 At a rabbit, what goes off ? " 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 65 
 
 Gracie said, her face a study, 
 As she quelled a little cough, 
 Thinking he would surely guess it. 
 " You're so stupid ! I'm quite hoarse 
 Talking to you. What goes off ? " 
 " Why, the rabbit does, of course." 
 
 A BOY'S OPINION. 
 
 The girls may have their dollies, 
 Made of china or of wax ; 
 
 I prefer a little hammer, 
 And a paper full of tacks. 
 
 There's such a comfort in a chisel ! 
 
 And such music in a file ! 
 I w T ish that little pocket saws 
 
 Would get to be the style ! 
 
 My kite may fly up in a tree ; 
 
 My sled be stuck in mud ; 
 And all my hopes of digging wells 
 
 Be nipped off in the bud ; 
 
 But with a little box of nails, 
 
 A gimlet and a screw ; 
 I'm happier far than any king ; 
 
 I've work enough to do. 
 
LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 THE FORGET-ME-NOT. 
 
 When to the flowers so beautiful, 
 
 The Father gave a name, 
 Back came a little blue-eyed one, 
 
 All timidly it came, 
 And standing at its Father's feet, 
 
 And gazing in his face, 
 It said, in low and trembling tones, 
 
 And with a modest grace, 
 " Dear God, the name thou gavest me, 
 
 Alas ! I have forgot." 
 The Father kindly looked him down 
 
 And said, " Forget me not." 
 
 LIFE MAXIMS. 
 
 From the "Popular Educator." 
 
 In the morning of our life, 
 
 In youth's pleasant days ; 
 Ere we meet with sin and strife, 
 
 Walk we in wisdom's ways. 
 Truth shall be our guiding star, 
 
 Shining bright above ; 
 Naught our peace and joy can mar, 
 
 If we Walk in love. 
 Loving words to all we speak, 
 
 Friendship sweet we prize ; 
 Kindly deeds to do we seek, 
 
 As each moment flies. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 67 
 
 THE WELL-SPENT SUNDAY. 
 
 MATTHEW HALE. 
 
 A Sabbath well-spent brings a week of content 
 
 Whatever may be in the morrow; 
 But a Sabbath profaned whatever be gained 
 
 Is the certain fore-runner of sorrow. 
 
 CAW! CAW! CAW! 
 
 EDWARD CARSWELL. 
 
 Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
 I am a poor old crow ! 
 And I just want to know 
 Why you treat us with cruelty and scorn ? 
 
 Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
 Why you shoot us with a gun, 
 And seem to think it fun, 
 If we just take a grain or two of corn ? 
 
 Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
 Yet you'll make it into drink, 
 Which does more harm, I think, 
 Than all the crows that ever flew in air ; 
 Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
 For it blights where'er it flows, 
 Killing men instead of crows, 
 Then why not eat, and let us have a share ? 
 Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
 
68 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 LITTLE CHILDREN. 
 
 Little children, love each other ; 
 
 Never give another pain ; 
 If your brother speaks in anger, 
 
 Answer not in wrath again. 
 Be not selfish to each other ; 
 
 Never mar another's rest, 
 Strive to make each other happy 
 
 And you will yourself be blest. 
 
 WHOLE DUTY OF CHILDREN. 
 
 A child should always say what's true 
 And speak when he is spoken to, 
 And mannerly behave at table ; 
 At least so far as he is able. 
 
 THE LITTLE BOY'S LAMENT. 
 
 Oh, why must I always be washed so clean 
 And scrubbed and drenched for Sunday, 
 
 When you know very well, for you've always 
 seen, 
 That I'm dirty again on Monday ? 
 
 My eyes are filled with the lathery soap, 
 Which down my ears is dripping ; 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 69 
 
 And my smarting eyes I can scarcely ope, 
 And my lips the suds are sipping. 
 
 It's down my neck and up my nose, 
 
 And to choke me you seem to be trying ; 
 
 That I shut my mouth you need not suppose, 
 For how can I keep from crying ? 
 
 You rub as hard as ever you can, 
 
 And your hands are hard to my sorrow ; 
 
 No woman shall wash me when I am a man, 
 And I wish I was one to-morrow. 
 
 TRUTH. 
 
 Boy, at all times tell the truth, 
 Let no lie defile thy mouth ; 
 If there's wrong, be still the same — 
 Speak the truth and bear the blame. 
 
 Truth is honest, truth is sure ; 
 Truth is strong, and must endure 
 Falsehood lasts a single day, 
 Then it vanishes away. 
 
 Boy, at all times tell the truth, 
 Let no lie defile thy mouth ; 
 Truth is steadfast, sure, and fast — 
 Certain to prevail at last. 
 
70 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 CONVALESCENT. 
 
 I prayed to God ; He heard my prayer, 
 And made a little child His care ; 
 When I was sick, He healed my pain, 
 And gave me health and strength again. 
 Oh, let me now His Grace implore, 
 And love and praise Him evermore. 
 
 GENTLE HINTS. 
 
 If you've any task to do, 
 
 Let me whisper, friend, to you, 
 
 Do it ! 
 If you've anything to say, 
 True and needed, yea or nay, 
 
 Say it ! 
 If you've anything to love, 
 As a blessing from above, 
 
 Love it ! 
 If you've anything to give 
 That another's joy may live, 
 
 Give it ! 
 If you know what torch to light, 
 Guiding others through the night, 
 
 Light it! 
 
 If you've any debt to pay, 
 Rest you neither night nor day, 
 
 Pay it! 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS.. 71 
 
 If you've any joy to hold 
 
 Next your heart, lest it grow cold, 
 
 Hold it ! 
 If you've any grief to meet 
 At your loving Father's feet, 
 
 Meet it ! 
 If you're given light to see, 
 What a child of God should be, 
 
 See it ! 
 Whether life be bright or drear, 
 There's a message, sweet and clear, 
 Whispered down to every ear, 
 
 Hear it! 
 
 BED IN SUMMER. 
 
 In winter I get up at night 
 And dress by yellow candle light. 
 In summer, quite the other way, 
 I have to go to bed by day. 
 I have to go to bed and see 
 The birds still hopping on the tree, 
 Or hear the grown-up people's feet 
 Still going past me in the street. 
 And does it not seem hard to you, 
 When all the sky is clear and blue, 
 And I should like so much to play, 
 To have to go to bed by day ? 
 
72 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 THE LAND OF COUNTERPANE. 
 
 When I was sick and lay a-bed. 
 I had two pillows at my head, 
 And all my toys beside me lay 
 To keep me happy all the day. 
 
 And sometimes for an hour or so 
 I watched my leaden soldiers go, 
 With different uniforms and drills 
 Among the bed-clothes, through the hills ; 
 
 And sometimes sent my ships in fleets 
 All up and down among the sheets ; 
 Or brought my trees and houses out, 
 And planted cities all about. 
 
 I was the giant great and still 
 That sits upon the pillow-hill, 
 And sees before him, dale and plain, 
 The pleasant land of counterpane. 
 
 A CHILD'S TROUBLES. 
 
 I wish I knew my letters well, 
 So I might learn to read and spell ; 
 I'd find them on my pretty card, 
 If they were not so very hard. 
 
 Now S is crooked — don't you see ? 
 And G is making mouths at me, 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 73 
 
 And O is something like a ball, — 
 
 It hasn't any end at all. 
 
 And all the rest are — my ! so queer ! 
 
 They look like crooked sticks — oh. dear ! 
 
 Ma counted six, and twenty more ; 
 
 What do they have so many for ? 
 
 THE LITTLE PEACH. 
 
 A little peach in the orchard grew — 
 A little peach of emerald hue ; 
 Warmed by the sun and wet by the dew, 
 
 It grew. 
 One day, passing the orchard through, 
 That little peach dawned on the view 
 Of Johnnie Jones and his sister Sue — 
 
 Those two. 
 
 Up at the peach a club he threw — 
 Down from the tree on which it grew 
 Fell the little peach of emerald hue — 
 
 Near Sue ! 
 She took a bite and he a chew, 
 And then the trouble began to brew — 
 Trouble the doctor couldn't subdue — ■ 
 
 Too true ! 
 Under the turf where the daisies grew 
 They planted John and his sister Sue, 
 And their little souls to the angels flew- 
 
 Boo-hoo ! 
 
74 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 But what of the peach of emerald hue, 
 Warmed by the sun and wet by the dew ? 
 Ah, well, its mission on earth was through- 
 Adieu ! 
 
 MOTES AND MOUNTAINS. 
 
 The motes up and down in the sun 
 Ever restlessly moving we see ; 
 Whereas the great mountains stand still, 
 Unless terrible earthquakes there be. 
 
 If these atoms that move up and down 
 Were as useful as restless they are ; 
 Than a mountain, I rather would be 
 A mote in the sunbeam so fair. 
 
 WINTER JEWELS. 
 
 A million little diamonds 
 
 Twinkled on the trees, 
 
 And all the little maidens said, 
 
 " A jewel, if you please ! " 
 
 But while they held their hands outstretched 
 
 To catch the diamonds gay, 
 
 A million little sunbeams came 
 
 And stole them all away. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 75 
 
 HARRYS ARITHMETIC. 
 
 FOR A LITTLE BOY. 
 
 (Holding in his Hand a slate and pencil.) 
 From the " St. Nicholas Magazine." 
 
 I'm glad I have a good-sized slate, 
 With lots of room to calculate. 
 Bring on your sums ! I'm ready now ; 
 My slate is clean, and I know how. 
 But don't you ask me to subtract, 
 I like to have my slate well-packed ; 
 And only two long rows, you know, 
 Make such a miserable show ; 
 And, please, don't bring me sums to add ; 
 Well, multiplying's just as bad ; 
 And, say ! I'd rather not divide — 
 Bring me something I haven't tried! 
 
 THE SUN'S TRAVELS. 
 
 The sun is not a-bed, when I 
 
 At night upon my pillow lie ; 
 
 Still round the world his way he takes, 
 
 And morning after morning makes. 
 
 While here at home, in shining day, 
 We round the sunny garden play, 
 Each little Indian sleepy-head 
 Is being kissed and put to bed. 
 
76 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 And when at eve I rise from tea, 
 Day dawns beyond the Atlantic Sea ; 
 And all the children in the West 
 Are getting up and being dressed. 
 
 THE GRATEFUL PREACHER. 
 
 A strolling preacher, once upon a time, 
 Addressed a congregation rather slim 
 In numbers, yet his subject was sublime ; — 
 'Twas " Charity " — sonorous was the hymn ; 
 Fervent the prayer ; and, though the house was 
 
 small, 
 He pounded lustily the Sacred Word, 
 And preached an hour as loud as he could 
 
 bawl, 
 As one who meant the Gospel should be heard. 
 And now, behold, the preacher's hat is sent 
 Among the pews for customary pence, 
 But soon returns as empty as it went ! 
 Whereat — low bowing to the audience — 
 He said, " My preaching is not all in vain ; 
 Thank God ! I've got my beaver back again." 
 
 GOOD ADVICE TO TALKERS. 
 
 If you your lips would keep from slips, 
 Five things observe with care : — 
 
 Of whom you speak ; to whom you speak ; 
 And how ; and when ; and where ! 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 77 
 
 VALEDICTORY. 
 
 A. F. SHOALS. 
 
 The golden glow of a summer's day 
 
 Rests over the verdant hills, 
 And the sunlight falls with mellow ray 
 
 On fields and laughing rills ; 
 But ere its last beam fades away 
 
 Beyond the mountain high, 
 Our lips must bravely, sadly say 
 
 The parting words " Good-bye". 
 
 Kind friends and parents gathered here, 
 
 Our gratitude is yours 
 For all your care and sympathy, 
 
 Which changelessly endures. 
 We'll try to use the present hours 
 
 So they will bring no sigh, 
 When to our happy days of school 
 
 We say our last " Good-bye". 
 
 Dear teachers, we shall ne'er forget 
 
 The lessons you have taught ; 
 We trust the future may perfect 
 
 The work your hands have wrought ; 
 And may they bring good gifts to you, 
 
 These years that swiftly fly, 
 And may you kindly think of those 
 
 Who bid you now "Good-bye". 
 
 " Good-bye ! " it shall not be farewel 1 ,— 
 We hope again to meet ; 
 
78 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 But happy hours are ever short, 
 And days of youth are fleet. 
 
 There's much to learn, and much to do; 
 Oh, may our aims be high, 
 
 And ever lead toward that bright land, 
 Where none shall say " Good-bye". 
 
 FRIENDS AND ENEMIES. 
 
 FOR A LITTLE BOY. 
 
 The man that has a thousand friends 
 Has not a friend to spare ; 
 But he that has one enemy, 
 Shall find him everywhere. 
 
 MY BED IS A BOAT. 
 
 My bed is like a little boat ; 
 Nurse helps me in when I embark ; 
 She girds me in my sailor's coat 
 And starts me in the dark. 
 
 At night, I go on board and say 
 Good-night to all my friends on shore ; 
 I shut my eyes and sail away 
 And see and hear no more, 
 
 And sometimes things to bed I take, 
 As prudent sailors have to do ; 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 79 
 
 Perhaps a slice of wedding cake, 
 Perhaps a toy or two. 
 All night across the dark we steer ; 
 But when the day returns at last, 
 Safe in my room, beside the pier, 
 I find my vessel fast. 
 
 BOYS' RIGHTS. 
 
 I wonder now if anyone 
 In this broad land has heard 
 In favor of downtrodden boys 
 A solitary word ! 
 
 We hear enough of " Women's Rights ", 
 
 And " rights of workingmen ", 
 
 Of " equal rights" and " nations' rights", 
 
 But you just tell me when 
 
 Boys' rights were ever spoken of ! 
 
 Why, we've become so used 
 
 To being snubbed by everyone 
 
 And slighted and abused, 
 
 That, w r hen one is polite to us, 
 
 We stare w r ith all our eyes, 
 
 And stretch them in astonishment 
 
 To nearly twice their size ! 
 Boys seldom dare to ask boy friends 
 To venture in the house, 
 For 'tisn't natural at all 
 
 To creep round like a mouse. 
 
80 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 And if we should forget ourselves 
 And make one bit of noise, 
 Then some good auntie quick would say, 
 " Oh, my ! those dreadful boys ! M 
 
 The girls may the piano thrum 
 All day, but if the boys 
 Play just one tune with fife and drum, 
 It's, " Stop that horrid noise ! " 
 
 Insulted thus, we lose no time 
 In beating a retreat, — 
 So off we go to romp and tear 
 And scamper in the street, 
 
 Perhaps that text the preacher quotes 
 Sometimes, " Train up a child," 
 Means only train the little girls, 
 And let the boys run wild ; 
 
 But patience, boys ; the time will come 
 When we shall all be men ; 
 And when it does, I rather think 
 Wrongs will be righted then. 
 
 THE TWO MONKS AND THE PILGRIM. 
 
 It chanced that, on a bleak and wintry day, 
 When numerous pilgrims trod the rugged way, 
 And thronged, as pilgrims oft had thronged of 
 
 late, 
 The monastery's hospitable gate, 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 81 
 
 Two younger monks, tired of the constant 
 
 sound 
 With which the bell disturbed their studious 
 
 round, 
 Impatient grew, and with ill grace bestowed 
 The Charity which yet they inly loved. 
 At length a gentler peal than all before 
 Announced once more a stranger at the door, 
 A pilgrim's staff was in His hand up-borne, 
 A robe of camel's hair concealed his form, 
 A wistful look shone from divinest eyes, 
 And in His hands they saw, with quick surprise, 
 The marks of wounds. Amazed, they eager 
 
 cried, 
 " And is it Thou, dear Lord ?" Then He replied, 
 " My sons, when to the poorest and the least 
 Ye welcome give, then I become your guest ! " 
 
 INNOVATION. 
 
 I'm thankful that the sun and moon 
 
 Are both hung up so high, 
 
 That no presumptuous hand can stretch 
 
 And pull them from the sky, 
 
 If they were not, I have no doubt, 
 
 But some reforming ass 
 
 Would recommend to take them down, 
 
 And light the world with gas. 
 
82 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 ENVY. 
 
 This rose-tree is not made to bear 
 The violet blue, nor lily fair, 
 
 Nor the sweet mignonette ; 
 And if this tree were discontent, 
 Or w T ished to change its natural bent, 
 
 It all in vain would fret. 
 
 And should it fret, you would suppose 
 It ne'er had seen its own red rose, 
 
 Nor after gentle shower 
 Had ever smelled its rose's scent, 
 Or it could ne'er be discontent 
 
 With its own pretty flower. 
 
 Like such a blind and senseless tree 
 As I've imagined this to be, 
 
 All envious persons are ; 
 With care and culture all may find 
 Some pretty flower in their own mind. 
 
 Some talent that is rare. 
 
 CHATTERBOX. 
 
 They call me " Little Chatterbox ;•• 
 
 My name is little May. 
 I have to talk so much, because 
 
 I have so much to say. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 83 
 
 And, O, I have so many friends ! 
 
 So many, and, you see, 
 I can't help loving them, because 
 
 They, every one, love me. 
 
 I love my papa and my mamma ; 
 
 I love my sisters, too ; 
 And if you're very, very good, 
 
 I guess that I'll love you ! 
 
 But I love God the best of all, 
 
 He keeps me all the night ; 
 And when the morning comes again, 
 
 He wakes me with the light. 
 
 I think it is so nice to live ! 
 
 And yet, if I should die, 
 The Lord would send his angels down 
 
 To take me to the sky. 
 
 BABY SLEEPS. 
 
 Let every sound be dead — 
 
 Baby sleeps ; 
 The Emperor softly tread — 
 
 Baby sleeps ; 
 Let Mozart's music stop, 
 Let Phidias' chisel drop, — 
 
 Baby sleeps ; 
 Demosthenes be dumb ; 
 Our tyrant's hour has come— 
 
 Baby sleeps. 
 
84 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 LOOKING FORWARD. 
 
 When I am grown to man's estate 
 I shall be very proud and great, 
 And tell the other girls and boys 
 Not to meddle with my toys. 
 
 MY KINGDOM. 
 
 A little kingdom I possess, 
 
 Where thoughts and feelings dwell, 
 And very hard I find the task 
 
 Of governing it well ; 
 For passion tempts and troubles me, 
 
 A wayward will misleads, 
 And selfishness its shadow casts 
 
 On all my words and deeds. 
 
 How can I learn to rule myself, 
 
 To be the child I should, 
 Honest and brave, nor ever tire 
 
 Of trying to be good ? 
 How can I keep a sunny soul 
 
 To shine along life's way? 
 How can I tune my little heart 
 
 To sweetly sing all day ? 
 
 Dear Father, help me with the love 
 That casteth out my fear ; 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 85 
 
 Teach me to lean on Thee, and feel 
 
 That Thou art very near ; 
 That no temptation is unseen, 
 
 No childish grief too small, 
 Since Thou, with patience infinite, 
 
 Doth soothe and comfort all. 
 
 I do not ask for any crown, 
 
 But that which all may win, 
 Nor seek to conquer any world 
 
 Except the one within. 
 Be Thou my guide until I find, 
 
 Led by a tender hand, 
 Thy happy kingdom in myself 
 
 And dare to take command. 
 
 WILLIE'S TEARS. 
 
 Last night 'mid tears, a sorry shower, 
 Before the peaceful twilight hour, 
 Was willful Willie put to bed — 
 "A bad, bad boy," so mamma said, 
 But lo ? this morning, like the sky, 
 Unclouded shone his clear blue eye. 
 
 And when upon his happy view 
 The meadows gleamed, all teared with dew, 
 He clapped his tiny hands and cried, 
 His plump pink cheeks aglow with pride, 
 " Last night, last night, oh, mamma, see, 
 The angel-boys were bad like me ! " 
 
LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 GOOD-NIGHT. 
 
 When the bright lamp is carried in, 
 The sunless hours again begin ; 
 O'er all without, in field and lane, 
 The haunted night returns again. 
 
 Now we behold the embers flee 
 About the fire-lit hearth ; and see 
 Our faces painted as we pass, 
 Like pictures, on the window-glass. 
 
 Must we to bed indeed ? Well then, 
 Let us arise and go like men, 
 And face with an undaunted tread 
 The long black passage up to bed. 
 
 Farewell, O brother, sister, sire ! 
 O pleasant party round the fire ! 
 The songs you sing, the tales you tell, 
 Till far to-morrow, fare you well ! 
 
 DEEDS OF KINDNESS. 
 
 How many deeds of kindness 
 
 A little child may do, 
 Although it has so little strength, 
 
 And little wisdom too ! 
 It wants a loving spirit 
 
 Much more than strength, to prove 
 How many things a child may do 
 
 For others by its love. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 87 
 
 GOOD-BYE. 
 
 We have but one more word to say, 
 
 As sinks the day to rest ; 
 We hope you're pleased at what you've heard ; 
 
 We've tried to do our best. 
 
 We're glad to see you often here ; 
 
 And when you come we'll try 
 To entertain you with our words, 
 
 But now we'll say " Good-bye" 
 
 IF I WERE YOTT. 
 
 What would I do if I were you ? 
 
 First thing, I'd make a rule 
 To put my hat and boots in place 
 
 When I came home from school. 
 What would I do if I were you ! 
 
 I wouldn't pout and cry 
 Because I couldn't have my way 
 
 About a piece of pie. 
 What would I do if I were you ? 
 
 I'd speak a pleasant word 
 To this and that one in the house, 
 
 And not be sour as curd. 
 
 What would I do if I were you ? 
 
 I'd not fly off apace 
 Into a raging passion when 
 
 Another took my place. 
 
88 KITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 And when a body asked my help, 
 
 I'd try to do a favor, 
 So that it should not always have 
 
 A disobliging flavor. 
 
 If I were you, my little friend, 
 
 I'd try to be so good 
 That my example all around 
 
 Might follow if they could. 
 
 Then 'twill be easy to obey 
 God's laws and parents' rule ; 
 
 And you'll be happy too, and good 
 At home, or play, or school. 
 
 YOUNG NIGHT THOUGHT. 
 
 All night long and every night, 
 When my mamma puts out the light, 
 I see the people marching by, 
 As plain as day before my eye. 
 
 Armies and emperors and kings, 
 All carrying different kinds of things, 
 All marching in so grand a way, 
 You never saw the like by day. 
 
 So fine a show was never seen 
 At the great circus on the Green ; 
 For every kind of beast and man 
 Is marching in that caravan. 
 
FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 89 
 
 At first they move a little slow, 
 But still the faster on they go, 
 And still beside them close I keep 
 Until we reach the town of Sleep. 
 
 OUR TEMPERANCE BANNER. 
 
 We're soldiers of an army, 
 A noble temperance band ; 
 
 And in its cause united 
 We labor heart and hand. 
 
 Though young, we know the Saviour 
 
 Is ever near at hand, 
 To cheer us in our labor 
 
 And bless our growing band. 
 
 We're soldiers of an army, 
 
 For volunteers we call, 
 To fight as valiant heroes, 
 
 Against King Alcohol. 
 
 And still there's room for others ; 
 
 We gladly welcome all 
 Who come to join the battle 
 
 Against King Alcohol. 
 
 And if we ask, believing, 
 
 He'll give us each and all 
 The strength we need for battle 
 
 Against King Alcohol. 
 
90 LITTLE SPEECHES 
 
 HANDS AND FINGERS. 
 
 (To be recited with appropriate gestures.) 
 
 Two little hands, so soft and white, 
 This is the left and this the right, 
 Five little fingers standing on each, 
 So I can hold a plum or peach. 
 When I get as big as you, 
 Lots of things these hands will do. 
 
 GOD SEES ME. 
 
 God sees me all the day, 
 
 And sees me all the night, 
 He keeps me while I sleep 
 
 Safe until morning light. 
 He sees me in the dark, 
 
 As plain as in the light, 
 He knows when I do wrong ; 
 
 And knows when I do right. 
 
 He knows, too, every word 
 Of what I think, or say, 
 
 He hears me when I sing, 
 He hears me when I pray. 
 
 Dear God, I want to live 
 So Thou wilt always love 
 
 To guide and lead me on, 
 
 Safe home to Thee above. 
 
Kavanaugh's Exhibition Reciter, for Very 
 
 Little Children. A collection of entirely Original Reci- 
 tations, Dialogues and Short Speeches, adapted for very 
 little boys and girls j including also a variety of pieces, hu- 
 morous, serious and dramatic, suitable for children from 
 Three to Ten Tears Old, for Public and Private School Ex- 
 hibitions and other Juvenile Entertainments. 
 
 It also includes a May-Day Festival for very little children, 
 and a number of beautiful Speaking Tableaux. By the author 
 of " Kavanaugh's Juvenile Speaker," 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Salutatory 
 
 The Gipsy's Warning 
 
 Grandma's Talk 
 
 Santa Claus 
 
 They ask Me why I am ko bad. 
 
 The Power of Justice 
 
 May Celebration 
 
 Speech of Crown-Bearer 
 
 Speech of Sceptre-Bearer. . . 
 
 Speech of Daisy 
 
 Speech of Snow Drop 
 
 Speech of Rose 
 
 Speech of Lily 
 
 Speech of Venus 
 
 Speech of Cupid 
 
 Speech of Temperance 
 
 Speech of Bacchus 
 
 Speech of Comet 
 
 Speech of May-Queen 
 
 The Months 
 
 The Four Queens 
 
 Saint and Sinner 
 
 The Dog in the Manger 
 
 Where There's a Will, There's 
 
 a Way 
 
 Repartee 
 
 The Midgets' Greeting 
 
 Boys will be Boys 
 
 The Dog and His Shadow 
 
 A Fellow who is Game. 
 
 The Five Wishes 
 
 What has been Done may be 
 
 Done Again 
 
 The Lark and her Young Ones. 
 
 Only Five 
 
 Poor Old Maids 
 
 Money is King 
 
 The Two Frogs 
 
 The Little Gentleman 
 
 Confidence Versus Merit 
 
 The Old Man and Death 
 
 The Old Year Out and the New 
 
 Year In 
 
 I'm Little But I'm Spunky. . . 
 The Fox who Lost His Tail . . . 
 The Gray Mare is the Better 
 
 Borse 
 
 Keep out of Debt 
 
 The Apple of Discord 
 
 The Smallest Grade 
 
 The Birth of Paris 
 
 The Boy and the Wolf 
 
 The Origin of the Peacock .... 
 
 Little Midget 
 
 The Wolf and the Bear 
 
 Scene from "Robin Hood 
 
 What Grandma Thinks 
 
 The Fox and the Goat 
 
 The Fairy's Revenge 
 
 Good Night 
 
 Four Years 
 
 The Boy and His Mother 
 
 Never Look Back 
 
 Yours Truly 
 
 An Old-Time Breakdown 
 
 The Man and the Goose 
 
 Speech for a Six- Year-Old 
 
 Speech for a Little Boy 
 
 In Twenty Years 
 
 Little Miss Ray 
 
 A Hopeful Youth 
 
 The Choicest Goods 
 
 Valedictory 
 
 Valedictory 
 
 The Peddler's Caravan 
 
 Robin Redbreast's Secret 
 
 Why? 
 
 The Concert in the Wood 
 
 MUSIC. 
 
 The Gipsy's Warning 
 
 Jewels Bright 
 
 Baby Fair 
 
 Gentle Zitella 
 
 Tell Me, Where do Fairies 
 Dwell? 
 
 15 
 
 Bound in Illuminated Paper Covers 30 cts. 
 
 7*ound in Illuminated Board Covers 50 cts 
 
Popular Boeks Sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed, ~ 
 Kavanaugh's Juvenile Speaker. For very little boys and 
 
 girls. Containing short and easily-learned Speeches and Dialogues, ex- 
 pressly adapted for School Celebrations, May-Day Festivals and other Chil- 
 dren's Entertainments. By Mrs. Russell Kavanaugh. This book is just th« 
 thing for Teachers, as it gives a great number of short pieces for very young 
 children, with directions for appropriate dresses. 
 
 It includes a complete programme for a May -Day Festival, with opening 
 •horus and appropriate speeches for nineteen boys and girls, including 
 nearly forty additional speeches for young and very small children. 
 
 It introduces the May-Pole Dance, plainly described in every detail, and 
 forming a very attractive and pleasing exhibition. 
 
 Besides the above, it contains the following Dialogues and Recitations, for 
 two, three or more boys and girls of various ages : 
 
 1 
 
 Salutatory 
 
 Salutatory 
 
 Opening Song 
 
 Opening Recitation 
 
 An Interrupted Recitation . 
 An Imaginative Invention. . 
 
 Speech 
 
 A Joyful Surprise 
 
 An Oration 
 
 How He Had Him 
 
 The Old Maid 
 
 The Old Bachelor 
 
 Poetry, Prose and Fact 
 
 The Dumb Wife 
 
 !To Inconsistent Husbands . . 
 Small Pitchers have Large 
 
 Ears ... 
 
 Sour Grapes 
 
 Not Worth While to Hate ... 
 A Strike Among the Flowers . 
 
 A Witty Retort 
 
 The Young Critic 
 
 14 They Say" 
 
 ripeech 
 
 -* Angels Can Do No More.''.. 
 
 Recitation 
 
 Dialogue 
 
 Holiday Speech c 
 
 The Love-Scrape 
 
 An Old Ballad . : 
 
 The Milkmaid :-..... 
 
 Billy Grimes, the Drover...... 
 
 Grandmother's Beau 
 
 Speech 
 
 Honesty the Best Polity 
 
 Balance Due... 
 
 Recitation 
 
 The Coming Woman 
 
 Speech 
 
 The Power of Temper ... 
 
 Truth and Falsehood 
 
 Recitation 
 
 Recitation 
 
 Recitation 
 
 Christmas Forty Years Ago. 
 
 Speech 
 
 Trying Hard 
 
 The School-Boy 
 
 Recitation. 
 
 "IToldYou So" 
 
 Speech 
 
 Speech 
 
 Speech 
 
 Choosing a Name 
 
 Baby Bye ... 
 
 Dialogue 
 
 Little Puss 
 
 Poor Men vs. Rich Men 
 
 Helping Papa and Mamma.. . 
 
 Annabel's First Party 
 
 The Spendthrift Doll 
 
 The Little Mushrooms 
 
 Valedictory 
 
 Riding in the Cars 
 
 Riding in the Cars 
 
 Speech - 
 
 The Cobbler's Secret 
 
 Dialogue 
 
 Valedictory 
 
 I 
 
 The whole embraces a hundred and twenty-three easy and very effectivo 
 pieces, from which selections can be made to* suit the capacities of boys and 
 girls of from two to sixteen years of age. 
 
 l6mo, illuminated paper cover. Price. , 30 cts» 
 
 " Boards 50 cts. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed. 
 McBride's Funny Dialogues. A Collection of new and 
 
 original Dialogues, introducing Yankee, Irish, Dutcii and other ecceutric 
 Characters, designed for Juvenile Entertainments. By H. Elliott McBride. 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Albert's Rehearsal 
 
 The Village Meddler 
 
 Three Smart Girls 
 
 A Surprise Party 
 
 A Narrow Escape 
 
 Looking around for a Wife. . 
 
 A Brave Woman 
 
 Making Soap 
 
 Hezekiah 's Arrival 
 
 The Storm 
 
 A Sober Second Thought — 
 
 Taking the Census 
 
 16m o, illuminated paper cover. 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. . . 
 
 © 
 
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 3 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 4 
 
 7 
 
 5 
 
 5 
 
 3 
 
 5 
 
 3 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 5 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 3 
 
 1 
 
 3 
 
 1 
 
 4 
 
 Missionary Work at Home 
 Josiah's First Courting. . . , 
 A Robber Under the Bed . . 
 Subscribing to Mission Fund 
 
 A Sudden Blow 
 
 Saved from the Poor House 
 Coming to an Understanding 
 Advertising for a Servant. . . 
 
 Jonathan's Daughters 
 
 Visitors from the City 
 
 Broken Promises 
 
 Jelly for the Minister 
 
 I 
 
 Price . 
 
 O 
 
 1 
 1 
 1 
 4 
 1 
 1 
 1 
 4 
 4 
 3 
 1 
 3 
 
 30 cts. 
 50 cts. 
 
 Kavanaugh's Comic Dialogues and Pieces for Little Chil- 
 dren. Containing Short and Easy original pieces and dialogues specially 
 designed for Sunday School and other Exhibitions, and Christmas, May 
 and similar occasions. By Mrs. Russell Kavanaugh. An entirely new 
 series of pieces, very plainly and simply written, and easily learned and 
 comprehended by young children. Some of the pieces are arranged so as 
 to include all the little boys and girls in a class. 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Short ChristmasPerformance 
 Sing a 8ong of Christmas.. . . 
 
 The Golden Rule 
 
 The Year 
 
 Ruby's Stratagem 
 
 Novel Christmas Tree 
 
 Fanny Gray 
 
 Recitation 
 
 Recitation . - 
 
 Forbearance 
 
 Open the Gate* as High aB the 
 
 8ky 
 
 The Queen of a Isight 
 
 Be Prompt in what you do. . 
 
 The Olden Times 
 
 Winning a Wager. 
 
 And Twenty-four other recitations for 
 16mo, illuminated paper cover. Price 
 Bound in boards, cloth bajk. . 
 
 u 
 
 n 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 
 1 
 
 5 
 
 
 4 
 
 7 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 21 
 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 12 
 
 
 
 12 
 
 3 
 
 
 7 
 
 6 
 
 11 
 
 1 
 
 6 
 
 
 2 
 
 
 4 
 
 1 
 
 Energy and Industry , 
 
 The Shy Gallant 
 
 Lady Queen Anne 
 
 Ten Thousand a Year 
 
 Dialogue 
 
 Wine and Water 
 
 We are but Little Folks 
 
 Seven Days in a Week 
 
 Th* Stars 
 
 The Song of the Leaves . . . 
 
 Recitation 
 
 What Little Folks Can Do.. 
 
 Vacation 
 
 What the Winds Bring.. 
 Closing Day 
 
 single scholars. 
 
 •SO cts. 
 60 cts. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 
 Dick's Recitations and Readings. Carefully compiled Series 
 
 of Volumes, uniform in size and style, which will include everything that 
 is fresh and popular, introducing, also, the older Gems of the English 
 Language that are always in demand; embracing 
 CHARACTER SKETCHES, DIALECT PIECES, 
 
 HUMOROUS, SENTIMENTAL, 
 
 PATHETIC, PATRIOTIC, 
 
 ELOQUENT, AND SERIOUS 
 
 Recitations and Readings in Poetry and Prose, excluding every thing 
 that is not eminently appropriate, either for Declamation or Public 
 Reading. 
 
 Sixteen Numbers of the above Series are now ready. 
 
 Each Number is complete in itself (nothing is repeated) and contains 
 about 180 Pages of Reading Matter, printed on fine paper, from clear 
 
 type, and handsomely bound in Illuminated Paper Cover 30 cts. 
 
 Full Cloth 50 cts. 
 
 Graham's School Dialogues for Young People. A new and 
 
 original collection of Dialogues intended for Anniversaries and Exhibi- 
 tions. By George C. Graham. These dialogues have been written ex- 
 pressly to give advanced scholars an opportunity for displaying their 
 dramatic powers and ingenuity ; they are exceedingly amusing, and full 
 of ludicrous and telling stage-situations. 
 
 Contents. 
 
 Contents. 
 
 The Empty House 
 
 Turning the Tables ...... 
 
 A Doctor by Proxy 
 
 Strategy 
 
 The Picnic Party 
 
 An Aspirant for Fame. . . 
 
 The New Boy 
 
 Which was the Hero ?. . . . 
 Astonishing the Natives . 
 
 The Critics 
 
 The Expected Visitor. . . . 
 
 5 
 
 1 
 
 4 
 
 
 6 
 
 1 
 
 
 4 
 
 3 
 
 3 
 
 3 
 
 
 4 
 
 
 3 
 
 
 
 3 
 
 6 
 
 
 
 6 
 
 A. Nightmare of India. . . 
 
 An Indian Raid 
 
 Going! Going! Gone!... 
 
 The Book-Peddler 
 
 The Burglar- Alarm 
 
 Missed His Chance 
 
 The Girl of the Period. . . 
 The Photograph Gallery. 
 
 The Elocution Class 
 
 Love and Stratagem 
 
 Extremes Meet 
 
 16mo, 176 pages, illuminated paper covers. 
 «< «< a « board " 
 
 Price SO cts. 
 
 " 50cis. 
 
 Burbank's Recitations and Readings. A collection of Hu- 
 morous, Dramatic and Dialect Selections, edited and arranged for public 
 reading or recitation, by Alfred P. Burbank. Containing many choice 
 selections never before in print, as well as some old favorites. 
 16m o, 150 pp. Price 25 cts. 
 
 Ogden's Model Speeches for all School Occasions. Contain- 
 ing Original Addresses and Orations on everything appertaining to School 
 Life; comprising Set Speeches on opening and dedicating new Schools 
 aud Academies, all kinds of School Ceremonials, Salutatory and Valedic- 
 tory Orations, Presentations, and conferring Honors; Burlesque Speeches, 
 Prologues and Epilogues for School Exhibitions, etc., including practical 
 hints on Extempore Speaking. By Christol Ogden. 
 
 Paper covers 50 Cts. 
 
 Bound in Boards 75 cts. 
 
popular Books Sent Free of Postage at the Frices Annexed, 
 
 Frost's Humorous and Exhibition Dialogues, ttos is a col 
 
 lection of sprightly, original Dialogues, in Prose and Verse. u»'>e'.ided to be 
 spoken at School Exhibitions. By 3. A. Frost. 
 
 ...! 
 !*.'! * 
 
 Contents. 
 
 Bumps 
 
 Amateur Farming , 
 
 The Valentine 
 
 Aunt Bethiah's Journey. ..... | 
 
 Will You Advertise? i 2 
 
 ■Millie's Visit to the City 
 
 Country Quiet 4 
 
 Circumstances Alter Cases.. . . 
 
 School or Work ' 4 
 
 Bella's Visit to Ca;np j 
 
 The Hypochondriac j 2 
 
 Cross Purposes I 
 
 Rural Felicity I 2 
 
 Contexts. 
 
 The Chatterbox 
 
 Putting on Airs 
 
 Writing a Tragedy 
 
 Morning Calls 
 
 When the Cat's Away the 
 
 Mice will Play 
 
 Very Bashful. .*. 
 
 It Xever Rains but it Pours. 
 
 A Slight Mistake 
 
 Munchausen Outdone 
 
 The Train to Monro 
 
 The Unwilling Witness I 2 
 
 The Age f Progress | 2 
 
 2 fc 
 
 I 
 
 The Dialogues are all good, and will recommend themselves to ^.rose who 
 desire to have innocent fun — the prevailing feature at a school ce ebraliou. 
 
 180 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 tcs. 
 
 Bound in boards 50 cts. 
 
 Holmes' Very Little Dialogues for Very Littlo FolkK 
 
 Containing forty-seven new and original dialogues, wifn. short and east 
 parts, almost entirely in words of one syllable, suited to the capacity an 1 
 comprehension of very young children. 
 
 Contexts. 
 
 The Bird's N?st 
 
 All About Two Dolls..., 
 
 Cm a Man 
 
 What are Little Boys O-ood 
 
 For? 
 
 The Party 
 
 TheEose'Bush 
 
 Which is Best? 
 
 The Drum 
 
 Willie's Walk - 
 
 tThe Parrot 
 
 JThe Story 
 
 How Daisy Went to School. . 
 
 i Clara's Gifts 
 
 I What Tommy Found 
 
 The Blind Man 
 
 Poor Sick Lucy 
 
 Josie's Fault 
 
 The Kain Fairy 
 
 G-uess ! 
 
 The Sick Doll 
 
 Work or Play 
 
 The Boat 
 
 Little Mischief 
 
 Paper oarers. Price 
 
 $5oniid in boards eloth back . . 
 
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 2 
 
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 2 l 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 
 3 
 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 1 | 
 
 2 
 
 
 
 1 i 
 
 Contexts. & *f 
 
 The Cow in the Garden 2 
 
 Our Verse , 1 
 
 Jack's !Nap 4 
 
 The Little Beggars. . -. 1 3 
 
 The Doll's Sash 3 
 
 I Wish 2 4 
 
 The Cousin From the City. ... 1 2 
 
 Afraid of the Dark 2 I 
 
 May's Five Dollar isq\& 3 
 
 The Snow 3 
 
 Harry' s Wish 2 
 
 The Dead Bird .... S 
 
 The Orange Tree..- .2 1 
 
 Little by Little 3 
 
 Kitty's Bath 2 
 
 A Stitch in Time Sav*a Mne . 8 
 
 Keeping Store , 2 1 
 
 The Stolen Pe*s .. 2 
 
 Lulu's Picture , 1 2 
 
 Mother Goose's Party 3 4 
 
 Oh, Dear!. , 9 
 
 ThatEcho , 2 1 
 
 The Xew Quarters 1 2 
 
 Visit of Santa Clans 10 8 
 
 30 cts. 
 
 . 50 cts 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 Dick's Common Sense Letter Writer. Containing Three 
 
 Hundred and Sixty Sensible Social and Business Letters with appropriate 
 Answers on the following subjects : 
 
 Letters of Introduction. 
 
 Soliciting and Granting Favors. 
 
 Accompanying Gifts. 
 
 Acknowledging Gifts and Favors. 
 
 Letters of Congratulation. 
 
 Letters of Sympathy and Condolence. 
 
 Answers to Advertisements for Hep 
 
 Wanted. 
 Inquiries about Character and Ability. 
 Recommendations of Character and 
 
 Ability. 
 Letters between Employers and Em- 
 ployed. 
 Accepting and Resigning Positions. 
 
 Letters of Apology. 
 
 Letters of Remonstrance and Com- 
 plaint. 
 
 Letters of Love and Courtship. 
 
 Letters of Invitation and Acceptance. 
 
 Forms of Cards of Invitation. 
 
 Notes of Postponement. 
 
 Notes Offering Escort. 
 
 Letters to Landlords and about Board 
 and Apartments. 
 
 Family Letters on Various Subjects. 
 
 Business Correspondence. 
 
 Letters on Miscellaneous Subjects, 
 
 Including Instructions for the arrangement of the different parts of a 
 Letter, the Address, &c. By William B. Dick. The Letters are all 
 original, and serve as eminent models of matter, expression and style, 
 in plain but well-chosea language and clearness of diction ; the great 
 variety of letters on each subject offers a wide field for choice, and with, 
 perhaps, a little modification could be made available for every possible 
 contingency. Bound in Boards, Cloth Back 50 Cts* 
 
 Pitman's Manual of Phonography. Containing a complete 
 
 exposition of the system of Phonetic Short-hand, with numerous short- 
 hand examples interspersed with the text, and exercises in reading. 
 By Isaac Pitman, New Edition 35 CIS* 
 
 Key to the Exercises in Pitman's Manual. A great help 
 
 for students 15 ets- 
 
 Dick's Stump Speeches and Minstrel Jokes. Containing 
 
 short and side-splitting Negro Acts and Farces, Eccen trie Sketches, Stump 
 Speeches, Darkey Lectures, End-Men's Jokes and Gags, Burlesque Ser- 
 mons, Funny Dialogues, and everything necessary for a series of first-class 
 Minstrel Entertainments ; including the latest excruciations of modern 
 Negro-Minstrelsy, and a number of startling originalities, risible rib- 
 ticklers and hysterical button-starters. 
 
 Illuminated paper covers. Price 30 CtS. 
 
 Bound in Boards , 50 cts« 
 
 Alexander's Calisthenics and Musical Drill for Infants. 
 
 Containing Fifty-nine Exercises, with numerous Variations, introducing 
 simple Calisthenics and Swimming Motions. Ring, Skipping and March- 
 ing Exercises, profusely illustrated, with Piano Music for every move- 
 ment. A complete work on Recreative Calisthenics for young children 
 and Primary School Classes. By A. Alexander, Professor of Calisthenics 
 and Gymnastics. Paper covers 25 cts. 
 
 Cruden's Calisthenic Training and Musical Drill. A Sys- 
 
 tern of Physical Exercises as an aid to Teachers in Class Training. By 
 George Cruden, A. M. 
 This work contains complete instructions in Military Marching. Dumb-Bell, 
 and Indian Club Exercises : including MusiGal Drill in Free Gymnastics, 
 Dumb-Bell and Bar-Bell Exercises and Hoop DrilL with explanatory 
 illustrations and Piano Musia for every movement Beards 58 t)t» 
 
Dick's Dutch, French and Yankee Dialect Recitations* 
 
 An unsurpassed Collection of Droll Dutch Blunders,Frenciimen's Funny Mistakes,an4 
 Ludicrous and Extravagant Yankee Yarns, eacb Recitation being in its own dialect. 
 
 Der Nighd Pehind Grisd- 
 
 mas. 
 The Dutchman's Snake . 
 Yoppy's Varder und Hees 
 
 Drubbles. 
 Dhree £h leaders. 
 Katrina Likes Me Poody 
 
 YelL 
 Hans in a Fix. 
 Lecdle Yawcob Strauss. 
 How a Dutchman was Done. 
 Dot Lambs vot Mary Haf 
 
 Got, 
 The Yankee and the Dutch- 
 man's Dog. 
 Zwei Lager. 
 Schneider's Ride. 
 The Dutchman and the 
 
 Small -pox. 
 Tiamondts on der Prain. 
 A Dutchman's Testimony 
 
 in a Steamboat Case. 
 Hans Breitmann and the 
 
 Turners. 
 
 FRENCH DIALECT. 
 The Frenchman's Dilemma ; 
 
 or, Number Five Collect 
 
 Street. 
 The Frenchman's Revenge. 
 Noozell and the Organ 
 
 Grinder. 
 How a Frenchman Enter- 
 tained John BulL 
 Mr. Rogers and Monsieur 
 
 Denise. 
 The Frenchman and the 
 
 Landlord. 
 The Frenchman and the 
 
 Sheep's Trotters. 
 
 A Frenchman's Account oi 
 
 the Fall. 
 I Yant to Fly. 
 The Generous Frenchman 
 The Frenchman and tht 
 
 Flea Powder. 
 The Frenchman and the 
 
 Rats. 
 Monsieur Tonson. 
 Vat You Please. 
 The Frenchman and th* 
 
 Mosquitoes. 
 The Frenchman's Patent 
 
 Screw. 
 The Frenchman's Mistake. 
 Monsieur Mocquard Be 
 
 tween Two Fires. 
 
 DUTCH DIALECT. 
 Der Mule Shtood on der 
 
 Steamboad Deck. 
 Go Yay, Becky Miller. 
 Der Drummer. 
 Mygel Snyder's Barty. 
 Snyder's Nose. 
 Dyin' Yords of Isaac. 
 Fritz und I. 
 
 Betsey und I Hafe Bust Lb. 
 Schneider sees Leah. 
 Dot Funny Leetle Baby. 
 Schnitzerl's Philosopede. 
 Der Dog und der Lobster. 
 Schlosser's Ride. 
 Mine Katrine. 
 Maud Muller. 
 Ein Deutsches Lied. 
 Hans and Fritz. 
 Schneider's Tomatoes. 
 Deitsche Advertisement. 
 Yas Bender Heusbpecked. 
 Life, Liberty and Lager. 
 Der Goot Lookin' Shnow. 
 Mr. Schmidt's Mistake. 
 Home Asjain. ^ 
 
 Dot Surprise Party. ^ 
 Der Wreck of der Hezberus. 
 Isaac Rosenthal on the 
 
 Chinese Question. 
 R;;n3 Breitmann's Party. 
 Shoo Flies. 
 
 A Dutchman's Answer. 
 How Jake Schneider "Went 
 
 Blind. 
 I Vash so Glad I Yash Here. 
 The Dutchman and the 
 
 Yankee. 
 How the Dutchman Killed 
 
 the Woodchuck. 
 
 This Collection contains all the best dialect pieces that are incidentally scattered 
 through alarge number of volumes of " Recitations and Readings," besides new and 
 
 excellent sketches never before published. 170 pages, paper cover SO cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 cts. 
 
 Dick's Irish Dialect Recitations. A carefully compiled Collec- 
 tion of Rare Irish Stories, Comic, Poeticaland Prose Recitations, Humorous Letter* 
 and Funny Recitals,all told with the irresistible Humor of the Irish dialect. Containing 
 Biddy's Troubles. Irish Coquetry. 
 
 Birth of St. Patrick. The. Irish Drummer, The. 
 Bridget O'Hoolegoin's Let- Irish Letter, An. 
 
 Irish Philosopher, The. 
 
 Irish Traveler, The. 
 
 Irishman's Panorama, The. 
 
 Jimmy McBride's Letter. 
 
 Jimmy Butler and the OwL 
 
 King O'Toole and St. Kevin. 
 
 Kitty Malone. 
 
 Love in the Kitchen. 
 
 Micky Free and the Priest. 
 
 Miss Malony on the Chinese 
 Question. 
 
 Mr. O'Hoolahan's Mistake. 
 
 Paddy Blake's Echo. 
 
 Paddy Fagan's Pedigree. 
 
 Paddy McGrath and the 
 Bear. 
 
 Paddy O'Rafther. 
 
 Paddy the Piper. 
 
 YANEEE DIALECT. 
 
 Mrs. Bean's Courtship. 
 
 Hez and the Landlord. 
 
 Squire Billings' Pickerel. 
 
 Deacon Thrush in Meeting. 
 
 The Yankee Fireside. 
 
 Peter Sorghum in Love. 
 
 Mrs. Smart Learns how to 
 Skate. 
 
 Capt. Hurricane Jones on 
 the Miracles. 
 . The Dutchman and the 
 ( Yankee. 
 
 The Yankee Landlord. 
 
 The Bewitched Clock. 
 
 The Yankee and the Dutch- 
 man's Dog. 
 
 Aunt Hetty on Matrimony 
 
 The Courtin'. 
 
 Ebenezer on a Bust. 
 
 Sut Lovingood's Shirt. 
 
 ter. 
 
 Connor. 
 
 Dermot O'Dowd. 
 
 Dick Macnamara's Matri- 
 monial Adventures. 
 
 Dying Confession of Paddy 
 M'Cabe. 
 
 Father Mollov. 
 
 Father Phil Blake's Collec- 
 tion. 
 
 Father Roach. 
 
 Fight of Hell-Kettle, The. 
 
 Handy Andy's Little Mis- 
 takes. 
 
 How Dennis Took the 
 Pledge. 
 
 How Put Saved his Bacon. 
 
 Irish Astronomy. 
 
 Paddy's Dream. 
 Pat and the Fox. 
 Pat and the Gridiron. 
 Pat and his Musket. 
 Pat and the Oysters. 
 Pat's Criticism. 
 Pat's Letter. 
 Pat O'Flanigan's Colt. 
 Patrick O'Rouke and 
 
 Frogs. 
 Paudeen O'Raffertv's 
 
 Yyage. 
 Peter Mulrooney and 
 
 Black Filly. 
 Phaidrig Crbhoore. 
 Rory O'More's Present td 
 
 the Priest. 
 St. Kevin. 
 
 Teddy O'Toole's SlxBull3. 
 Wake of Tim O'Hara, The. 
 Widow Cummiskey, The. 
 
 th* 
 Say 
 
 the 
 
 This Collection contains, in addition to new and original pieces, all the very best 
 Recitations in the Irish dialect that can. be gathered from a whole library of vl Recita- 
 tion " books. It is full of sparkling witticisms and it furnishes also a fund of entertain- 
 
 ing matter for perusal in leisure moments. 170 pages, paper cover 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, clot* back . , , 5Q«ts. 
 
Tambo's End-Men's Minstrel Gags. Containing some of the 
 
 best Jokes and Repartees of the most celebrated u burnt cork " performers of our 
 day. Tambo and Bones in all sorts and manner of scrapes. This Book is full of 
 Burnt-Cork Drolleries, Funny Stories, Colored Conundrums, Gags and Witty Repar- 
 tee, all the newest side-splitting conversations between Tambo, Bones, and the In- 
 terlocutor, and will be found useful alike to the professional and amateur performer 
 Contents ; 
 
 A Bird that can't be 
 Plucked 
 
 Annihilating Time 
 
 At Last 
 
 Bashful 
 
 Bet, The 
 
 Big Fortune, A 
 
 Blackberrying 
 
 Black Swan, The 
 
 Bor.es and his little Game ^ 
 
 Bones and the Monkey 
 Tricks 
 
 Tories as a Fortune Teller 
 
 Bones as a Legitimate Ac- 
 tor 
 
 Bones as a Pilot 
 
 Bones as a Prize Fighter 
 
 Bones as a " Stugent " 
 
 Bones as a Traveler 
 
 Bones as a Victim to the 
 Pen 
 
 Bones as a "Walkist 
 
 Bones assists at the Per- 
 formance of a New Piece 
 
 Bones attends a Seance 
 
 Bones finds Himself Fa- 
 mous 
 
 Bones gets Dunned 
 
 Bones gets Stuck 
 
 Bones has a Small Game 
 with the Parson 
 
 Bones' Horse Race 
 
 Bones in an Affcir of Honor 
 
 Bones in Love 
 
 Bones keeps a Boarding 
 House 
 
 Bones on the War Path 
 
 Bones on George Washing- 
 ton 
 
 Bones on the Light Fantas- 
 tic 
 
 Bones Opens a Spout Shop 
 
 Bones Plays O'Fella 
 
 Bones sees a Ghost 
 
 Bones Slopes with Sukey 
 Sly 
 
 Bones tells a "Fly" Story 
 
 Brother will come home to- 
 night 
 
 Bones as a Carpet Bagger 
 
 Bones as an Inkslinger 
 
 Bones in a New Character 
 
 Bones in Clover 
 
 Bones' Love Scrape 
 
 "Cullud" Ball, The 
 
 Conundrums 
 
 Curious Boy 
 
 Dancing Mad 
 
 Dat's What J'd Like to 
 Know 
 
 Definitions 
 
 De Mudder of Inwention 
 
 Difference, The 
 
 Don't Kiss every Puppy 
 
 "Far Away in Alabam' " 
 
 First White Man, The 
 
 Fishy Argument 
 
 Four-Eleven -Forty- Four 
 
 Four Meetings, The 
 
 From the Poiks 
 
 Girl at the Sewing Ma- 
 chine 
 
 Hard Times 
 
 Hard to take a Hint 
 
 Heavy Spell, j\. 
 
 Highfalutin' 
 
 Horrible ! 
 
 How Bones became a Min- 
 strel 
 
 How Tambo took his Bit- 
 ters 
 
 How to do it 
 
 Everything new and rich. Paper covers 
 Bound in hoards, with cloth back 
 
 Impulsive Oration 
 
 Inquisitive 
 
 Jeallusest of her Sect 
 
 Legal Problem, A 
 
 Liberal Discount for Cash 
 
 Manager in a Fix, The 
 
 Mathematics 
 
 Merry Life, A 
 
 Momentous Question 
 
 Mosquitoes 
 
 Music 
 
 Notes 
 
 Ob Course 
 
 Our Shop Girls 
 
 Pomp and Ephy Green 
 
 Presidency on de Brain 
 
 Proposed Increase of Taxes 
 
 Railroad Catastrophe 
 
 Reality versus Romance 
 
 Rough on Tambo 
 
 Sassy Sam and Susie Long 
 
 School's In 
 
 Shakespeare with a Ven- 
 geance 
 
 Simple Sum in Arithmetic 
 
 Sleighing in the Park 
 
 Sliding Down the Hill 
 
 Style 
 
 Sublime 
 
 Swearing by Troxy 
 
 Tambo's Traveling Agent 
 
 That Dear Old Home 
 
 "The Pervisions, Josiar " 
 
 Thieves 
 
 Tonsorial 
 
 Toast, A 
 
 Uncle Eph's Lament 
 
 Waiting to See Him Off 
 
 You Bet 
 
 And 40 popular songs and 
 dances. 
 
 - SOots, 
 
 Stump 
 
 McBride's Comic Speeches and Becitations. Designed for 
 
 Schools, Literary and Social Circles- By H. Elliott McBride, Author of "McBride's 
 Humorous Dialogues," etc., etc. This is one of the very best series of original 
 speeches, in Yankee, Darkey, Spread-Eagle and village styles, with a number of 
 diverting addresses and recitations, and funny stories, forming an excellent volume 
 of selections for supplying the humorous element of an exhibition. Contents : 
 An Address to Schoolboys Peter 
 Zachariah Popp's Court- 
 ship and Marriage 
 A Sad Story 
 
 How to Make Hasty Pud- 
 ding 
 My Matilda Jano 
 Courtship, Marriage, Sep- 
 aration and Reunion 
 Lecture by a Yankee 
 A Colored Man's Disco'se 
 
 on Different Subjects 
 A Girl's Address to Boys 
 McSwinger's Fate 
 
 A Burst of Indignation 
 Disco'se by a Colored Man 
 A Trumpet Sarmon 
 Sarmon on Skilletvillers 
 Nancy Matilda Jones 
 Hezeklah's Proposal 
 About the Billikinses 
 Betsy and I are Out Once 
 
 Mere 
 A Stump Speech 
 About Katharine 
 Deborah Doolittle's Speech 
 
 on Women's Rights 
 A Salutatory 
 A Moarnful Story 
 
 Paper covers, illuminated 
 Board covers, illuminated 
 
 Peabody's 
 Speech 
 
 Mr. Styx Rejoices on Ac- 
 count of a New Weil 
 Spring 
 
 Victuals and Drink 
 
 Speech by Billy Higgins on 
 the Destruction of His 
 Rambo Apple Tree 
 
 A Boy's Address to Young 
 Ladies 
 
 An Old Man's Address to 
 Young Wives 
 
 Salu-ta-tatu-a-ry 
 
 Valedictory. 
 
 30ets. 
 SOcti. 
 
DBeecliers Recitations and Headings. Humorous, Serious, 
 
 Dramatic. Designed for Public and Private Exhibitions. 
 
 Miss Maloney at the Den- 
 tist's 
 Lost and Found 
 Mygel Snyder's Barty 
 Magdalena 
 
 Jim Wolfe and the Cats 
 The Woolen Doll 
 ite Charity Dinner 
 Go-Morrow ; or, Lots 'Wife 
 The Wind r„nd the Moon 
 Dyin' Words of Isaac 
 Maude Mullcrin Dutch 
 Moses the Sasry 
 Yarn oi the u Nancy Bell " 
 Paddy the Piper _ 
 Schneider sees "Lech " 
 Caldwell of Springfield 
 Artemus Ward's Panorcmc 
 Tale of a Servant Girl 
 How a Frenchman Entcr- 
 .tained John Bull 
 Tiamondts on der Pratn 
 King Robert of Sicily 
 Gloverson the Mormon 
 De Pint wid Ole Pete 
 Pat and the Pig 
 The Widow Bedott's Letter 
 Paper covers. Price 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 
 
 The Cry of the Children 
 
 The Dutchman and the 
 Small-pox 
 
 Sculpin 
 
 Bats— Descriptive Recita- 
 tion 
 
 A Reader Introduces Him- 
 self to an Audience 
 
 A Dutchman's Dolly Yar- 
 den 
 
 "Rock of Agos" 
 
 Feeding the Black Fillies 
 
 The Hornet 
 
 The Glove and the Lions 
 
 I Yant to Fly 
 
 That Dog of Jim Smiley's 
 
 The Faithful Soul 
 
 " My New Pittayatees " 
 
 Mary Ann's Wedding 
 
 An Inquiring Yankee 
 
 The Three Bells 
 
 x,ove in a Balloon 
 
 Mrs. Brown on ihc Streets 
 
 Shoo Flies 
 
 Discourse by iboiivOT- SiV 
 Bosan 
 
 Without tho ChilurCH 
 
 Contents : 
 
 Sign or Billsmethi's Dan* 
 ing Academy 
 
 Der Goot Lookin Shnow 
 
 The Jumping Frog 
 
 The Lost Chord 
 
 The Tale of a Leg 
 
 That West-side Dog 
 
 How Dennis Took the 
 Pledge 
 
 The Fisherman's Summons 
 
 Badger's Debut as Ilamiet 
 
 Hezekiah Stole the Spoons 
 
 Paddy's Dream 
 
 Victuals and Drink 
 
 How Jake Schneider Went 
 Blind 
 
 Amelia's Young Man 
 
 Mrs. Brown on Modern 
 Houses 
 
 Farm Yard Song 
 
 Murphy's Pork Barrel 
 
 The Prayer Seeker 
 
 An Extraordinary Phe- 
 nomenon 
 'I The Case of Young Bangs 
 II A Mule Ride in Florida 
 
 $ Dtrco Shkaders 
 
 30ets. 
 
 50cteu 
 
 Sick's Ethiopian Scenes, Variety Sketches and Stomp 
 
 Speeches. Containing the following Rich Collection of Negro Dialogues, Scenes, 
 Farces , End-Men's Jokes, Gags, Rollicking Stories, Excruciating Conundrums, Ques- 
 tions and Answers for Bones, Tambo and Interlocutor, etc. Contents; - i 
 
 £'3 Gwine to Jine de Ma- 
 sons 
 yes' Nail dat Mink to de 
 
 Stable Do' — Oration 
 But the Villain still Pur- 
 sued Her— A Thrilling 
 Tale 
 Bones at a Free-and-Easy 
 Buncombe Speech 
 Shakespeare Improved 
 End Gag— Bones and Tam- 
 bo 
 JL Man of Nerve—Comic 
 
 Sketch 
 Dnd Gag— Bones and Tam- 
 bo 
 Uncle Pete— Darkey Sketch 
 The Rival Darkeys 
 ? .^he Stage- Struck Darkey 
 Add Ryman's Fourth of 
 
 July Oration 
 Absent-Mindedness — Bones 
 
 and Tambo 
 Don't Call a Man a Liar 
 The Mysterious Darkev 
 Rev Uncle Jim's Sermon 
 The 'Possum-Run Debating 
 
 Society 
 Tim Murphy's Irish Stew 
 Brudder Bones in Love — 
 
 Interlocutor and Bones 
 'Lixey ; or, The Old Gum 
 
 Game — Negro Scene 
 Brudder Bones' Duel 
 Brudder Bones' Sweetheart 
 Brudder Bones in Hard 
 
 Luck 
 Two Left-Bones and Tambo 
 178 pages, paper co\ers 
 Bound in board, cloth baek 
 
 Speech on Boils 
 
 How Bones Cured a Smoky 
 
 Chimney 
 Sermon on Keards, Hosses, 
 
 Fiddlers, etc. 
 Huggin' Lamp-Posts 
 Not Opposed to Matrimony 
 How Pat Sold a Dutchman 
 The Coopers — one Act Farce 
 Questions Easily Answered 
 
 — Bones and Tambo 
 Examination ia Natural 
 History— Minstrel Dia- 
 logue 
 O' Quirk's Sinecure 
 The Widower's Speech 
 Bones at a Raffle 
 Uncle Pete's Sermon 
 Bones at a Soiree — Interlo- 
 cutor and Bones 
 Speech on Woman's Rights 
 Bones' Discovery 
 Mark Twain Introduces 
 Himself — Characteristic 
 Speech 
 Speech on Happiness 
 Burnt Corkers— Minstrel 
 
 Dialogue 
 The Nervous Woman 
 The Five Senses — Minstrel 
 
 Dialogue 
 The Dutchman's Experi- 
 ence 
 Essay on the Wheelbarrow 
 Bones at a Pic-Nic 
 The Virginia Mummy — 
 Negro Farce 
 
 Brudder Bones in Clover ' 
 
 Artemus Ward's Advice to 
 Husband3 
 
 Wnere the Lion Roareth, 
 and tho Wang-Doodle 
 Mourneth 
 
 Romeo and Juliet in 1880 
 
 Artemus Ward's Panorama 
 
 Brudder Bones as a Carpet- 
 Bagger — Interlocutor and 
 Bones 
 
 Major Jones' Fourth of July 
 Oration 
 
 Curiosities for a Museum- 
 Minstrel Dialogue 
 
 Burlesque Oration on M*a£- 
 
 _ rimony 
 
 B rudder Bones on the Rag- 
 ing Can awl 
 
 The Snackin' -Turtle Man- 
 Ethiopian Sketch 
 
 Bones' Dream— Ethiopian 
 Sketch 
 
 Come and Hug Me » 
 
 Widow O'Brien's Toast 
 
 Scenes at the Police Court 
 —Musical Minstrel Dia- 
 logue 
 
 Brudder Bones as a Log- 
 EGller 
 
 De Pint Wid Old Pete- 
 Negro Dialect Recitation 
 
 A Touching Appeal— Dutch 
 Dialect Recitation 
 
 Wounded in the Corners 
 
 Darkey Dialogue 
 
 End Gag— Interlocutor and 
 Bones 
 
 - 30cts. 
 - * • - - . dOett* 
 
Kavanaugh's New Speeches and Dialogues for Young 
 
 Children. Containing easy pieces in plain language, readily understood 
 by little children, and expressly adapted for School Exhibitions and Christ- 
 mas and other juvenile celebrations. By Mrs. Russell Kavanaugh. This 
 is an entirely new series of Recitations and Dialogues by this author, and 
 full of pieces, in her well-known style of familiar simplicity, admirably 
 calculated to give the little ones additional opportunities to distinguish 
 themselves before an audience. It contains the following: 
 
 Introduction. 
 
 Opening Speech 
 
 Speech for a School Exhibition 
 
 The Parcse (The Fates) 
 
 Which Would You Rather Be? 
 
 Speech for a Tiny Girl 
 
 An Old Story, for a Child 
 
 Speech for a Boy 
 
 A Sudden Revulsion 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. A 
 
 Novel Christmas Festival. 
 Hay Celebration. 
 
 Speech of Crowner 
 
 \ Speech of Sceptre-Bearer. 
 
 Speech of Fun 
 
 Speech of Frolic 
 
 Speech of Vanity 
 
 Speech of Modesty 
 
 Speech of Beauty 
 
 Speech of Jollity 
 
 Speech of Boot-Black 
 
 Speech of News-Boy 
 
 Speech of May Queen 
 
 TThe Tables Turned, for a Child 
 
 Speech for a Boy 
 
 Speech for a Small Boy 
 
 Speech for a Very Little Boy. 
 The Farmer Boy and the City 
 
 Dude 
 
 The Small Boy 
 
 Transposed 
 
 The Sun and His Satellites. . . 
 
 Speech of the Sun 
 
 Speech of the Moon 
 
 Speech of Mercury 
 
 Speech of Mars 
 
 Speech of Jupiter 
 
 Speech of Saturn 
 
 Speech of Venus 
 
 True Happiness 
 
 Genius and Application 
 
 Five Versus Twenty-five 
 
 Saved from Suicide 
 
 Speech for a Very Small Child 
 
 Three Enigmas 
 
 Tickle his Hand with a Ten 
 
 Dollar Bill 
 
 Speech for a Small Boy 
 
 Beautiful Belles, for several 
 
 Girls 
 
 Beautiful Dudes, for several 
 
 Boys 
 
 Four Little Rose Buds 
 
 A Bouquet 
 
 Ta! Ta! 
 
 .Speech for a Very Little Girl.. 
 i Speech for a Very Little Boy . . 
 
 Blood Will Tell 
 
 A Warning 
 
 A Race for Life 
 
 " He is a Brick " 
 
 Speech for a Small Boy 
 
 Watching 
 
 Gold 
 
 i A Touching Incident 
 
 Buy a Broom, for several Girls 
 Confusion Worse Confounded. 
 A Relentless Tyrant, for a Child 
 
 My Broth er Jean 
 
 The Gratitude of the World.. 
 
 At the Skating Rink 
 
 Dimes ! Oh, Dimes ! 
 
 A Fatal Bait, for a Child 
 
 The Decorated Donkey, for a 
 
 Child 
 
 Tight Times 
 
 The Reason Why , 
 
 A Modern Flirtation 
 
 Country Meeting Talk 
 
 Speech 
 
 Deeds of Kindness 
 
 The Boy's Complaint 
 
 What Not to Do 
 
 Temperance Address 
 
 The Quarrelsome Boy 
 
 An Awful Fly, for a Little One 
 
 Content 
 
 The Winds of the Prairie . . 
 Santa Claus' Christmas Tree 
 
 Speech 
 
 The Creator 
 
 Where Did They Go 
 
 The Parting Lovers 
 
 Do Your Best 
 
 Cherish Kindly Feelings . . . 
 
 Advice to Boys 
 
 I Wish I Was a Grown-up . 
 No Time Like the Present. . . . 
 
 The Boys We Need 
 
 Summer Vacati on 
 
 MUSIC. 
 
 Three Bi-ight Stars 
 
 Beautiful Belles 
 
 Buy a Broom 
 
 16m^., Illuminated Paper Cover. .... .30 Cts, Boards 
 
 50 cts. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed* 
 
 Howard's Recitations. Comic, Serious and Pathetic. Col- 
 lection of fresh Becitations in Prose an* Poetry, suitable for Annives- 
 saries, Exhibitions, Social Gatherings, and Evening Parties . Contents : 
 
 Miss Malony on the Chinese 
 
 Question 
 Kit Carson's Ride 
 Buck Fanshaw's Funeral 
 Knocked About 
 Puzzled Dutchman 
 Shamus O'Brien 
 Naughty Little Girl 
 Bells of Shandon 
 No Sect in Heaven 
 Rory O'Moore's Present 
 •'Mother's Fool" 
 Queen Elizabeth — a Comic 
 
 Oration 
 The Starling 
 Lord Dundreary's Riddle 
 The Stuttering Lass 
 The Irish Traveler 
 The Remedy as Bad as the 
 
 Disease 
 A Subject for Dissection 
 The Heathen Chinee 
 Mona's Waters 
 A Showman on the Wood- 
 
 chuok 
 How Happy I'll Be 
 A Frenchman's Account of 
 
 the Fall 
 Isabel's Grave 
 Parson and the Spaniel 
 
 | An Irishman's Letter 
 
 I Irish Letter 
 The Halibut in Love 
 The Merry Soap-Boiler 
 Tne Unbeliever 
 The Voices at the Throne 
 Dundreary Proposing 
 The Fir eman 
 Paul Revere's Ride 
 Annie and Willie's Prayer 
 A Frenchman on Macbeth 
 The New Church Organ 
 KatrinaLikes me Poody Veil 
 How to Save a Thousand 
 
 Pounds 
 How I Got Invited to Dinner 
 Patient Joe 
 
 Jimmy Butler and the Owl 
 The Menagerie 
 Old Quizzle 
 Infidel and Quaker 
 The La wyer and the Chim- 
 
 ney-S weeper 
 Bill Mason's Bride 
 Judging by Appearances • 
 The'Death's Head 
 Betsey and I are Out 
 Betsey Destroys the Paper 
 Father Blake's Collection 
 Blank Verse in Rhyme 
 
 Roguery Taught 
 
 Banty Tim 
 
 Antony and Cleopatra 
 
 Deacon Hezekiah 
 
 The Frenchman and the 
 Landlord 
 
 The Family Quarrel— A Dia- 
 logue on the Sixteenth 
 Amendment 
 
 The Guess 
 
 Atheist and Acorn 
 
 Brother Watkina 
 
 Hans in a Fix 
 
 To-Morrow 
 
 The Hi gbgate Butcher 
 
 The Lucky Call 
 
 Challenging the Foreman 
 
 Country Schoolmaster 
 
 The Matrimonial Buga and 
 the Travelers 
 
 Peter Sorghum in Love 
 
 Tim Tuff 
 
 Nick Van Stann 
 
 The Debating Society 
 
 Deacou Stakes 
 
 To Our Honored Dead 
 
 The Dying Soldier 
 
 The Yankee Fireside 
 
 The Suicidal Cat 
 
 The Son's Wish 
 
 16 mo, 180 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 CtS. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 Ct3 
 
 Spencer's Book of Comic Speeches and Humorous Recita- 
 tions A collection of Comic Speeches and Dialogues, Dramatic Scenes 
 and Characteristic Soliloquies and Stories Suitable for School Exhibitions, 
 Contents : 
 
 Comic Prologue and Intro- 
 duction 
 
 The V ankee Landlord 
 
 His Eye was Stern 
 
 The Goddess of Slang 
 
 Dick, the Apprentice 
 
 Courting in French Hollow 
 
 The Case Altered 
 
 Fox and the Ranger 
 
 The Declaration 
 
 The Warrantee Deed 
 
 A Night's Adventure 
 
 Julia— Comic Love Scene , 
 
 Saying not Meaning 
 
 Negro Burlesque for 3 males 
 
 The Nimmers 
 
 Gucom and the Back-log 
 
 Widow Bedott's Mistake 
 
 How a Bashful Lover " Pop- 
 ped the Question" 
 
 Crossing Dixie 
 
 Mv Last Shirt 
 
 The Three Black Crows 
 
 The Barber's Shop 
 
 Paddv O'Rafther 
 
 Decidedly Coo 1 
 
 Frenchman and the Rats 
 The Jester Condemned to 
 
 Death 
 Kimdred Quacks 
 Hans Breirmann's Party 
 The Generous Frenchman 
 Saint Jonathan 
 Stump Speech 
 The Rival Lodgers 
 The Frerchman and the 
 
 Mosquitoes 
 The Maiden's Mishap 
 The Removal 
 Talking Latin 
 Praying for Rain 
 Darkey Photographer 
 Paddy* and his Musket 
 Hezekiah Bedott 
 Uncle Reuben's Tale 
 Mr. Caudle has been to a 
 
 Fair 
 Ch ernist and his Love 
 Disgusted Dutchman 
 The Frightened Traveler 
 Jewess and her Son 
 Clerical Wit— True Lies 
 
 Paper covers. Price - . * 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. 
 
 The School House 
 
 Daniel versus Dishclout 
 
 Spectacles 
 
 The Pig 
 
 A Stray Parrot 
 
 Dame Fredegonde 
 
 Toby Tosspot 
 
 Courtship and Matrimony 
 
 Rings and Seals 
 
 The Biter Bit 
 
 Pat and the Gridiron 
 
 Barmecide's Feast 
 
 The Coun try Pedagogue 
 
 The Middle-aged "Man and 
 Two Widows 
 
 Saratoga Waiter— N egro 
 Scene for 2 males 
 
 The Wrangling Pair— a Po- 
 etical Dialogue for Male 
 and Female 
 
 A Connubial Eclogue 
 
 The Italian from Cork 
 
 Gasper Schnapps' Exploit 
 
 Epilogue— Suitable for Con- 
 elusion of aa Entertain- 
 ment 
 
 30 cts. 
 
 50 cts. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed, 
 Martine's Droll Dialogues and Laughable Recitations. 
 
 A collection of Humorous Dialogues, Comic Recitations and Spirited 
 Stump Speeches and Farces, adapted for School and other Celebrations. 
 Contents ; 
 
 The Darkey Debating Soci- 
 ety. Dialogue for 2 males 
 
 The Scandal Monger. Dia- 
 logue for 2 males and 2 fe- 
 males 
 
 Poor Richard's Sayings 
 
 Prologue to " The Appren- 
 tice " 
 
 Address in the character of 
 11 Rope " A Prologue 
 
 Parody on the Declaration 
 of Independence 
 
 Bombastes Furioso. A Bur- 
 lesque for 7 males 
 
 Characteristic Address 
 
 Examining de Bumps, Ethi- 
 opian Dialogue for 2 males 
 
 Election Stump Speech 
 
 A Matrimonial Tiff. Dia- 
 ogue for 1 male and 2 fe- 
 males 
 
 The Frenchman and the 
 Sheep's Trotters 
 
 188 pages. Paper Covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in Boards, cloth back 50 CtS« 
 
 Hints to Amateur Actors. 
 
 Humorous Poetical Address 
 
 The Bell and tbe Gong 
 
 Mrs. Dove's Boarding'House 
 
 The Wilkins Family 
 
 The Lawyer's Stratagem 
 
 Eulogy on Laughing 
 
 Drawing a Long Bow. For 
 3 males and 1 female. 
 
 The Origin of Woman's As- 
 cendency over Man 
 
 Veny Raynor's Bear Story 
 
 The Game of Life 
 
 The Fortune Hunter. For 
 2 males and 3 females 
 
 The Parson and the Widow 
 
 Hezekiah Stubbins' Fourth 
 of July Oration 
 
 Make your Wills. Farce for 
 7 male characters 
 
 Mr. Rogers and Monsieur 
 Denise 
 
 Job Trotter's Secret 
 
 The Poor Relation. Comic 
 Drama for 7 males 
 
 Vat you Please 
 
 The Babes in the Wood. For 
 3 males and 4 females. 
 
 My Aunt. 
 
 Handy Andy's Mistakes. 
 
 The Cat Eater. 
 
 A Shocking Mistake. Dia- 
 logue for 3 males and 2 
 females 
 
 Wanted a Governess 
 
 Rival Broom Makers 
 
 Paudeen O'Rafl'erty's Say- 
 Voyage 
 
 Mr. Caudle's Wedding Din- 
 ner 
 
 Our Cousins. Negro Dia- 
 logue for 2 male characters 
 
 Mr. Caudle made a Mason 
 
 Address of Sergeant Buzfuz 
 
 The Wonderful Whalers 
 
 Sam Weller's Valentine 
 
 Wilson's Book of Recitations and Dialogues. Containing 
 
 a choice selection of Poetical and Prose Recitations. Designed as an As- 
 sistant to Teachers and Students in preparing Exhibitions. By Floyd B. 
 Wilson, Professor of Elocution. Contents : 
 
 In struction in Elocution 
 Dedication of Gettysburg 
 
 Cemetery 
 Sheridan's Ride 
 There's but one Pair of 
 
 Stockings 
 Modulation 
 Drummer Boy's Burial 
 John Maynard, the Pilot 
 The Boys 
 The Duel 
 
 Lochiel's Warning 
 Socrates Snooks 
 Mosaic Poetry 
 Burial of the Champion of 
 
 his Class at Yale College 
 Scott and the Veteran 
 Barbara Frietchie 
 I Wouldn't— Would You? 
 The Professor Puzzled 
 Thanatopsis 
 The Two Roads 
 The Pawnbroker's Shop 
 The Sophomore's Soliloquy 
 The Nation's Hymn 
 Address to a Skeleton 
 A Glass of Cold Water 
 Little Gretchen ; or New 
 
 Year's Eve 
 Good News from Ghent 
 The Sea Captain's Story 
 Our Heroes 
 The Closing Year 
 Burial of Little Nell 
 
 The Picket Guard 
 
 The Poor Man and the Fiend 
 
 Our Country's Call 
 
 The Conquered Banner 
 
 The High Tide ; or, the 
 
 Brides of Enderby 
 Death of Gaudentis 
 Don Garzia 
 Past Meridian 
 The Founding of Gettysburg 
 
 Monument 
 Spartacus to the Gladiators 
 Soliloquy of the Dying Al- 
 chemist 
 The Country Justice 
 Unjust National Acquisition 
 Dimes and Dollai-s 
 Dead Drummer Boy 
 Home 
 Responsibility of American 
 
 Citizens 
 The Jester's Sermon 
 Left on the Battle Field 
 The American Flag 
 Oh ! Why should the Spirit 
 
 of Mortal be Proud ? 
 Parrhasius 
 The Vagabonds 
 A Bridal Wine Cup 
 Blanche of Devan's Last 
 
 Words 
 Widow Bedott to Elder 
 
 Sniffles 
 A Psalm of the Union 
 
 Charge of a Dutch Magis- 
 trate 
 
 Stars in my Country's Sky 
 
 Bingen on the Rhine 
 
 Religious Character of Presi- 
 dent Lincoln 
 
 The Raven 
 
 The Loyal Legion 
 
 Agnes and the Years 
 
 Cataline's Defiance 
 
 Our Folks 
 
 The Beautiful Snow 
 
 The Ambitious Youth 
 
 The Flag of Washington 
 
 The Abbot of Waltham 
 
 Ode to an Infant Son 
 
 The Scholar's Mission 
 
 Claude Melnotte's Apology 
 
 Forging of the Anchor 
 
 Wreck of the Hesperus 
 
 The Man of Ross 
 
 No Work the Hardest Work 
 
 What is Time ? 
 
 Brutus's Oration over the 
 Body of Lucretia 
 
 What is That, Mother? 
 
 A Colloquy with Myself 
 
 St. Philip Neri and the 
 Youth 
 
 The Chameleon 
 
 Henry the Fourth's Solil- 
 oquy on Sleep 
 
 On Procrastination 
 
 Appendix 
 
 Paper Covers. Price 
 
 Bound in Board, cloth back. 
 
 .30 cts. 
 .50 cts, 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 Brudder Bones' Book of Sttunp Speeches and Burlesque 
 
 Obations. Also containing Humorous Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, 
 Plantation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable Inter- 
 ludes and Comic Recitations. Contents : 
 Bar 
 
 If I may so Speak. 
 
 lesque Oration 
 Dr. Pillsbury's Lecture on 
 
 Politics 
 Vegetable Poetry. For. 2 
 
 rabies 
 Teco Brag's Lecture on As- 
 tronomy 
 We saw Her but a Moment 
 Stocks Up, Stocks Down. 
 
 For 2 males 
 Brudder Bones' Love 
 
 Scrapes. 
 Stump Speech ; or, "Any 
 
 other Man. " 
 War's your Hoss. Dia- 
 logue Recital 
 Geology. Dialogue for 2 
 
 males 
 Tin-pan -o-ni-on. For Leader 
 
 and Orchestra 
 Dr. Puff Stuff's Lecture on 
 
 Patent Medicines 
 Sailing. For 2 males 
 Challenge Dance. For 8 
 
 males 
 Lecture on Bad Boys 
 Tony Pastor's Great Union 
 
 Speech 
 A Tough Boarding House 
 Sleeping Child. 2 males 
 Ain't I Bight, Eh? Speech 
 Wonderful Egg. For 2 males 
 Bootblack's Soliloquy 
 Lecture to a Fire Company 
 
 Julius' Peaches. For 2 males 
 De Trouble Begins at Nine 
 The Arkansas Traveler. 
 
 For 2 Yiolin players 
 Slap Jack. For 2 Darkeys 
 Turkey - town Celebration. 
 
 An Oration 
 Uncle Steve's Stump Speech 
 A Midnight Murder 
 Dat's What's de Matter 
 The Freezing Bed Feller 
 Mr. and Mrs. Wilkin s 
 Paddy Fagan's Pedigree 
 The Rival Darkeys. Act for 
 
 2 males 
 Hans Sourcrout on Signs 
 
 and Omens 
 Hun-ki-do-ris Fourth of July 
 
 Oration 
 Josh Billings on Mosquitoes 
 History of Cap John Smith 
 A Speech on Women 
 Impulsive Peroration 
 The Bet. For 2 Darkejs 
 Old Times gone By. Dia- 
 logue for 2 Darkeys 
 The Echo. Act for 2 Negroes 
 Sol Slocum's Bugle. 
 Western Stump Speech 
 In the Show Business. Dia- 
 logue for 2 males 
 "We are." Stump Oration 
 Original Burlesque Oration 
 Waiting to see Him off. For 
 2 males 
 
 Patriotic Stump Speech 
 
 De Railroad Accident. For 
 
 2 Darkeys 
 The Dutchman's Lecture 
 Prof Unworth's Lecture 
 The Three old Ladies 
 Josh Billings' Lecture onto 
 
 Musick 
 Brudder Bones' Lady-Love. 
 
 Dialogue for 2 males 
 Deaf— In a Horn. Act for 2 
 
 males 
 Or any oder Man's Dog. A 
 
 Speech 
 Happy Uncle Tom 
 Stick 'a Pin Dere, Brudder 
 
 Horace 
 Lecture on Woman's Rights 
 Dat's wol de "Ledger'' says. 
 
 For 2 Darkeys 
 Goose Hollow^Stump Speech 
 De Milk in de Cocoa Nut 
 A Dutchman's Answer 
 Lecture on Cats 
 The Patent Screw 
 The Auctioneer 
 Hints on Courtship 
 Dutch Recruiting Officer 
 Spirit Rappings. Dialogue 
 
 for 2 males 
 Dar's de Money 
 Let Her Rip, Burlesque 
 
 Lecture 
 The Stranger. Scene for 1 
 
 male and 1 female 
 
 16 mo. 188 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, illuminated 50 CtS. 
 
 Dick's Diverting' Dialogues, A collection of effective Dra- 
 matic Dialogues, written expressly for this work by various authors, and 
 adapted for Parlor Performances. They are short, full of telling " situa- 
 tions," introducing easy dialect characters, and present the least possible 
 difficulties in scenery and costume to render them exceedingly attractive. 
 Edited by Wm, B. Dick. 
 
 Lost and Won 
 
 Eunning for Office 
 
 The Uncle. A Proverb 
 
 Love's Labor.'Not Lost 
 
 Wanted — A Nurse 
 
 Almost A Tragedy 
 
 The WiU. A Proverb , 
 
 Who Wears the Breeches 
 
 A Cold in the Head 
 
 The Wedding Day. A Proverb 
 
 A Society for Doing Good 4 
 
 The Reception. A Proverb 2 
 
 Caught in their Own Trap 2 
 
 Elwood's Decision 
 
 The Report. A Proverb 2 
 
 Reformed Mormon Tippler. . . 3 
 The Fortune Hunter. A Proverb | 2 
 
 Petticoat Government 1 
 
 Now or Never. A Proverb .... 1 
 A Close Shave I 
 
 Including a complete programme of effective Living Portraits and 
 Tableaux, with full directions for exhibiting them successfully. 
 
 Bound in Boards 30 cts. 
 
 Paper Covers ....*....« 50 CtS* 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed. ~ 
 
 ■ ■ " ■ ' •■ i , — 1 Mil . 
 
 Dick's Comic and Dialect Recitations. A capital collection 
 
 of Comic Recitations, Ludicrous Dialogues, Funny Stories, and Inimitable 
 Dialect Pieces, containing : 
 
 Parson Jinglejaw's Surprise 
 Pat's Correspondence 
 Pleasures of the Telephone 
 Positively the Last Perfor- 
 mance — Cockney Dialect 
 Raven, The— Dutch Dialect 
 Sad Fate of a Policeman 
 Scripture Questions 
 Sermon for the Sisters, A 
 Solemn Book- Agent, The 
 That Fire at Nolan's 
 That Freckle-Faced Girl 
 The Latest Barbara Friet- 
 
 chie— Dutch Dialect 
 The Paper Don't Say 
 Thikihead's New Year's Call 
 Tickled all Oafer 
 'Twas at Manhattan Beach 
 Uncle Billy's Disaster 
 Uncle Mellick Dines with his 
 
 Master — Negro Dialect 
 Uncle Remus' Tar Baby 
 Uncle Reuben's Baptism 
 United Order of Half-Shells 
 Waiter's Trials, A 
 Warning to Woman, A 
 Ways of Girls at the Play 
 Western Artist's Accom- 
 plishments, A 
 Wily Bee, The 
 Woman's Description of a 
 
 Play, A 
 Sailer Dog, The 
 
 An ^Esthetic Housekeeper 
 
 At the Rug Auction 
 
 Aunt Sophronia Tabor at the 
 
 Opera— Yankee Dialect 
 Awfully Lovely Philosophy 
 Bad Boy and the Limburger 
 
 Cheese, The 
 Barbara Frietchie— Dutch 
 Boy in the Dime Museum 
 Bric-a-Brac 
 Brudder Johnson on 'Lectri 
 
 city— Negro Dialect 
 Butterwick'8 Weakness 
 By Special Request 
 Can this be True? 
 Champion Liai*, The 
 Conversion of Colonel Quagg 
 Cut, Cut Behind— Dutch 
 Debit and Credit in the Next 
 
 World 
 Der Oak und der Vine 
 Der 'Sperience of Reb'rend 
 
 Quacko Strong— Negro 
 Der Vater Mill 
 Doctor's Story, 
 Dutch Advertisement, 
 Dutchman and the Raven 
 Dutch Security— Dutch 
 Early Bird, The 
 Gentle Mule, The 
 Granny Whar V ou Gwine ? 
 Girl of Culture, 
 Goin' Somewhere— Yankee 
 
 Go -Morrow, or Lot's Wife 
 Hard Witness, A 
 Horse that Wins the Race 
 How a Woman Does It 
 How Buck was Brought to 
 
 Time — Yankee Dialect 
 How Uncle Fin had the 
 
 Laugh on the Boys 
 Humming Top, The 
 fn der Shweed Long Ago 
 Inquisitive Boy, The 
 Irishman's Perplexity, An 
 Jim Onderdonk's Sunday- 
 School Oration 
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 Mark Twain on the 19th 
 
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 Mickey Feeny and the Priest 
 Mine Moder-in-Law 
 Mother's Doughnuts 
 Mr. and Mrs. Potterman 
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 Mr. Spoopendyke Hears 
 
 Burglars 
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 Old Bill Stevens 
 Old Erasmus' Temperance 
 
 Pledge— Negro Dialect 
 Ole Settlers' Meetun 
 
 Original Love Story, An 
 
 Our Debating Club 
 
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 Containing a variety of Comic Recitations in Prose and Poetry, Amusing 
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 How thev Pop the Question 
 
 The Clever Idiot 
 
 The Knights 
 
 How the Lawyer got a 
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 Josh Billings on Laughing 
 
 Night after Christmas 
 
 A Change of System— for 2 
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 Citizen and the Thieves 
 
 A Prologue to Open an En 
 
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 The Stage-Struck Hero 
 Here She Goes— and There 
 
 She Goes 
 Pastor M'Knock's Address 
 Old Sugar's Courtship 
 The Bachelor's Reasons for 
 
 Taking a Wife 
 The Spanish "Valet and the 
 
 Maid— Dialogue for I male 
 
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 The Jackdaw of Rheims 
 Jonathan and the English 
 
 man 
 Artemus Ward's Trip 
 Auctioneer and the Lawyer 
 Mr and Mrs. Skinner 
 The Bachelor and the Bride 
 Drunkard and his Wife 
 A Western Lawyer's Plea 
 
 against the Fact 
 Reading a Tragedy 
 Cast-off Garments 
 How to Cure a Cough 
 The Soldier's Return 
 Countrymen and the Ass 
 Come and Go 
 
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 Stage-StruckDarkey— Inter- 
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 Goody Grim versus Lapstone 
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 Wanted, a Confederate- 
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 Lodgings for Single Gentle- 
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 Nursery Reminiscences 
 
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 How Pat Saved his Bacon 
 
 The Irish Drummer 
 
 Mike Hooter's Bear Story 
 
 The Critic 
 
 Mr, Caudle Wants a Latch 
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 Humbugging a Tourist 
 
 The Widow's Victim— for 2 
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 Josh Rulings on the Mule 
 
 Tinker and the Glazier 
 
 Wonderful Dream— Negro 
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 An Occasional Address— For 
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 An Occasional Prologue— 
 For Opening a Perfor- 
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 Addi-ess on Closing a Per- 
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 A Prologue for a Perfor- 
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 An Epilogue for a School 
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