i^- OUR CATALOGUE JTREE TO ANY ONE. J& 13 8 s AMES' SERIES OF STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA. NO. 148. EH? WHAT DID YOU SAY? ~~ : 0E WITH OAST OP CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POB1TIONS | OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COS- TUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAREFULLY JdURKED FROM THE MOST APPROVED ACT- 9 INe watching you, I will come for you. Mr. B. (aside) How horribly cunning this little minx is becoming. Enter Major, c. d. Major. By the way, Miss Clara, pardon my abrupt question — but are you very much attached to that guileless youth, who has gone to air himself? Clara, (indignantly) Sir? Major. Do you fancy yourself very much in love with him ? Clara. You have no right to ask such a question, it is impertinent. Major. Not at all— I have the right of your prospective husband. Clara. You will never be my husband ! I will kill myself first, or kill you 1 Major. Do not excite yourself ; that is bad. I think your father would regard his promise to me as more binding than your love passages in the park with somebody else. Clara. Why do you persecute me ? I do not love you, and never could, I hate you ! EH? WHAT DID YOU SAY? 9 Major. That is very probable, but you a9k me why? I will tell you frankly. For a poor deaf man, a comfortable home, the companionship of a beautiful woman, whose voice his heart understands, the means to gratify his tastes for little luxuries, all these things are of very great importance-. Clara. But I teJl you then — I love another man. Major. That is very probable— in fact I know that a great many men'a wives do ; well I am philosophic, with roses thorns always grow, and the barbaric vice of jealousy is dying out. Clara. Clearly then, you only wish to marry me for what papa 'will give you with me? Major. That is not an unimportant consideration, when one marries a woman who is already in love with another man, and a father-in-law who is such a terrible nuisance, and a selfish old dunderhead to boot. Clara. Do not abuse my father sir, I think we can arrange this matter without that. How much money will you take to go away, never let us see your ugly face again? Major. In a pecuniary estimate, please to remember that charm which you possess for me; my heart understands almost all you say. Clara. I tHink sometimes that you understand all, that your heart as you ;all it, hears any thing you choose from anybody. Major. A while ago, my dear young lady I said that you were inexpe- rienced, unsophisticated. I retract — your perceptive faculties do you honor. Clara. Then you admit you do hear every thing? Major. I believe we all hear alike, except your unfortunate parent, my perspective father-in-law. Mr. B. {furiously) And I hear too, you scoundrel, and I'll see you hanged first! (both skirmish around appropriately. Clara. Oh, papa, you hear ? Mr. B. Yes, I hear. You'd run away would you. (strides to the door) Here you young rascal, come here, zounds ! Will you try to keep up the fraud ? (siezes a book and hurls it out the door at Charlie. Enter Charlie, o. Charlie. Eh? What did you say? Mr. B. (catching him by the collar, shaking him violently) If you ever say that again, I'll murder you! Clara, (rushing between them) Oh, papa, papa, don't hurt him. Charlie. What the deuce does he mean by shaking me up as if I were a cocktail? Major, (aside) If I were only on the other side of the table ! Mr. B. It meant that I have regained my hearing, to learn that I am "A soulless old ruffian, who ought to have his head knocked against someone else's." Charlie, (freeing himself) Yes, if you have any idea of marrying this good and lovely young girl to that rascally adventurer-over there, for the gratification of some insane whim of yours, I don't hesitate to say what I tbink, that you are a soulless old ruffian, and deserve to have your head knocked to all eternity, and I'd like to be the man to do it! Mr. B. Spoken like a man! And I shall respect you all the more for saying it, for I begin to believe you were about right, as for him — I forgot him, forgot for a moment, I was so mad at you. (they both dodge first one way and another around the table. Major. Excuse me, I think there is a mistake some where. Mr. B. Oh, there is a mistake is there? Do you know who I am? I am a "Selfish old dunderhead," and I'm going to prove a "Terrible nuisance" to you. Do you hear? (making a clutch after him. Major. Hold on, let us reason this thing, we can't talk at this rate you know. Mr. B. Well, what have you got to say? 10 EH? WHAT DID YOU SAY? Major. Just this, were not my expressions correct? Now, that you can hear again, you see you don't like to have a man say to you, "Eh? What did you say?" (Mr. Belden makes another dive at him, which he eludes) You can imagine what a nuisance you were, and to think of bringing an- other such a creature into your family to make your daughter miserable, and to pick up an adventurer like me, of whom you know nothing, as your chosen man. Mr. B. Major I forgive you; 1 did deserve it all. {they shake hands. Charlie. But see here Major, you and I have a little account to settle. Major. Who began between us ? Is it my misfortune, or my fault do yoii think, that I look like a "Thing robbed body and raiment, from a dozen graves?" Would I not be fat, fare sumptously, go robed in purple and fine linen every day if I could, do you think ? Charlie. Let's shake hands and cry quits. I blush to remember my un- generous insults to your poverty." Major. And now, that my role is ended, permit me to doff my borrowed plumes as Major Joseph Vandeleur, and introduce myself to you as plain "Gus Wight," who has seen better days, and is better known as Clarence Fitzherbert Booth Macready, dramatic reader, and teacher, of elocution. I expect to organize a class in this place, and will be proud to receive your patronage and countenance. Mr. B. You may depend on us, after dinner we will — {very loud, dinner bell) Heavens! What an infernal uproar! Stop that bell, stop itl Servant poking his head in at c. Servant. . Eh ? What did you say ? Mr. Belden charges furiously out after him, the rest laughingly follow. CURTAIN. Ames' Plays— Continued. M, P. 4 4 5 3 156 Quiet Family 51 Rescued , | 110 Reverses 12 6 45 Rock Allen 5 3 I 96 Rooms to Let, 2 1 171 Rough Diamond 6 3 59 Saved 2 3 4S Sehnaps i 1 107 School 5 | 133 Seeing Boating 3 I 138 Sewing Circle of Period.. 5 115 S. II. A. M. Pinafore 5 3 ! 55 Somebody's Nobodv ...... 3 2 94 16,000 Years Ago 3 J 25 Sport with a Sportsman... 2 79 Spy of Atlanta, 25c. 14 3 92 Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down.. 2 137 Taking the Census 1 1 62 Ten Nights in Bar-Room 7 3 04 That Boy Sam 3 1 40 That Mysterious B'dle ... 2 2 38 The Bewitched Closet 5 2 87 The Biter Bit 5 2 131 The Cigarette 4 2 144 Thekla 6 7 101 The Coming Man 3 1 67 The False Friend 6 1 97 The Fatal Blow 7 1 119 The Forty-JSfiners ., 10 4 NO. M. P. 93 The Gentleman in Block 9 4 112 The New Magdalen ...... 8 3 118 The Popcorn Man 3 1 71 The Reward of Crime 5 3 16 The Serf 6 3 68 The Sham Professor 4 6 The Studio 3 102 Turn of the Tide 7 4 54 The Two T. J's 4 2 7 The Vow of the Ornani .. 8 1 | 28 Thirty-three nxtBrithd'y 4 2 108 Those Awful Boys 5 63 Three Glasses a Day 4 2 105 Through Suow and Sun- shine 6 4 142 Tit for Tat 2 1 4 Twain's Dodgiug 3 1 j 151 Wanted a Husband 2 1 5 When Women Weep 3 2 121 Will-o'-the-Wisp 9 4 50 Wooing Under Difficulties 4 3 41 Won at Last 7 3] 70 Which will he Marry 2 8 I 135 Widower's Trials 5 4 58 Wrecked 9 3! 147 Waking Him Up 1 2 I 155 Why they Joined the Re- beccas 4| 156 Wig-Maker and His Ser- vants 3 111 Yankee Duelist 2 2 I Wilkins' Amateur Dranms. Designed for the use of schools, amateur entertainments, etc. This volume contains the following plays: Rock Allen the Orphan, or Lost and Found ; Three Glasses a Day, or the Broken Home; Mother's Fool ; The Reward of Crime, or the Love of Gold; The Coming Man ; The Turn of the Tide, or Wrecked in Port; Hash. !Neatly bound in cloth, price 75 cents. Happy Frank's Comic Song and Joke Book. — Contains a choice collection of original songs, joker., conundrums, stump speeches, etc. It also contains one complete Dutch sketch, one negro farce, and one negro sketch. Fifteen cents per copy. ^P" Please Remember that we can fill your orders for any play, dialogue book, speaker, guide book, piece of music, or anything in the line of amateur supplies such as wigs, beards, mustaches, face powders, paints, colored fires, lightning — in a word, anything you may find yourself in need of. We shall, be ready to answer your letters of inquiry at any time, and invite correspondence. In remitting please send a postal note, or a money order, where they ean be obtained, or small amounts may be sent in one or two cent postage stamps. Address A. D. AMES, Pub., Clyde, Ohio. Hints To Amateurs By A. D. AMES. A book of useful information for Amateurs and others, written expressly for those who are giving public entertainments — and who wish to make their efforts suc- cessful—containing much information never before given. Mr. Ames has had many years experience, and in this work gives many hints which cannot fail to be of great benefit to all. The following subjects are treated in a clear and concise manner: The effects of the drama on the mind — The dramatic club a means of charity — Use- ful hints — Necessity of a book of plain instructions — Formation of a dramatic company — Duties of the manager— Assigning parts— Duty of the prompter—Duty of the property man — Music for plays — Rehearsals — Hints — Best methods of studying — Stage laughs — Speaking loud — Articulation — How to be prompted — Getting the back to the audience— Making up— How to burn a colored fire— How to make fuses — To make a rain storm — To make thunder — To make lightning — To make a wind storm— Imitation of clouds— Imitation of waves— How to pro- duce a crash— How to produce snow— Success on the stage— A short history of the drama — Scene painting — The painter — Difficulties in scene painting — How to act — Macready's Method. Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of 15c per copy. COLORED TABLEAU LIGHTS.— For use in Tableaux and Illuminations, and to heighten the effect of stage scenes, especially in spectacular plays. As these lights contain no sulphur, they are not subject to spontaneous combustion, and burn with less smoke and odor than any other similar compounds. They emit an intense light, requiring no reflector. They are made in red and green only. We are putting up our Colored Fires in a box containing enough material for one light, with fuses ready for use for 25c by mail. Per one-half pound, SI. 00. Per pound (by express), $1.50. Per pound (by mail) $1.75. MAGNESIUM TABLEAU LIGHTS.— Are first-class for the following reasons: They do not smoke; are always ready; they will not explode; they are easily ignited: are wonderfully brilliant, burning with an intensity of 74 stearine candles; are per- fectly safe under all circumstances. They can easily and safely be sent to any part of the United States. One of these magnesium lights will be amply sufficient for two tableaux, unless they are unusually long. We will send, them by mail for twenty- five cents each, and prepay all charges. LIGHTNING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS.— Very many dramas containing storms, which unless given in an artistic manner are more laughable than otherwise. To make them successful good lightning is essential. We will send a package of material for this purpose, with full printed directions for its use, to any address, for 50 cents. The effect produced by it will be found all that can be desired. WILKINS' AMATEUR DRAMAS— Designed expressly for the use of Schools; Amateur Dramatic and«Church entertainments. This volume contains the follow- ing plays: Rock Allen the Orphan, or Lost and Found; Three Glasses a Day, or the Broken Home; Mother's Fool; The Reward of Crime, or the Love of Gold; The Coming Man; The Turn of the Tide, or Wrecked in Port; Hash. Neatly bound in cloth, price 75 cents. SPIRIT POWDER— For fastening whiskers or mustache to the face. Will ad- here very strongly in the hottest weather. Price per package 25 cents. HAPPY FRANK'S COMIC SONG AND JOKE BOOK.-Contains a choice col- lection of original songs, jokes, conundrums, stump speeches, etc. In addition to the above, it also contains one complete Dutch sketch, one Ethiopean farce, and a Negro sketch, all of which have never been published. Price 15 per copy. New JJlBisi*' — Every Pieee a Oem. MY NAME VAS HEINRICH HANS.-A roaring Dutch song, words by W. H. Spangler, jr., music by F. 0. Wilson. A great success and pronouueed by both press and public the greatest hit of many years, Price 30 cents. DERE VAS EIN LEEDLE DEITCHER GAL.-A capital Dutch song for male voices, words by W. H. Spangler, jr., music by F. 0. Wilson, Can be used as a solo, or as a solo and chorus. Price 30 cents. A HEALTH TO OUR HOSTESS.— A male quartette, words by W. H. Spangler, _ic_ words bvF^D. Wilson. It is sure to please all who purchase it. Price 30 cents. i mn^nw *.*- ~„..~«~„ Address all orders to A. D. AMES, Publisher, LIBRARY OF CONGRESS f Lock Box 102. Clyde, Ohio. 017 401 487 5 %