French's International Copyrighted (in England, her Colonies, and the 
 
 United States) Edition of the Works of the Best Authors. 
 
 
 ^ No. 2IO. 
 
 iTHE TWO DICKS 
 
 ^^■\^N»Kv'««»^5i!»^^!«N»^!<^^<v^^<^v*s:»x^x\\VN^'v^\■vss^ 
 
 ^ Copyright, 191 i, by Samuel French 
 
 "^ New York 
 
 5 SAMLLL IRLNCH 
 
 <y PUliLISllEKS 
 
 V 28-30 West 38TH Street 
 
 I 31 Comctip in €tDO %ct^ g 
 
 g BESSIE W. SPRINGER g 
 
 >^ ^ 
 
 ^ CAUTION :— Tlie professional acting rights of this play are ^ 
 
 ^ reserved by the publisher, Samuel French, 38-30 West ^ 
 
 ^ 38th. Street, New York, and is subject to a royalty when fti, 
 
 ^ produced, and permission for such performances must be ^ 
 
 ^ obtained before performances are given. This notice does ij> 
 
 '^ not apply to amateurs, who may perform the play with- 1^ 
 
 '^ our permission. All professional unauthorized produc- A 
 
 ^ tions will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. ^ 
 
 ^ ^ 
 
 ^ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 4«k 
 
 S> PRICE, 25 CENTS ^ 
 
 London jj 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH Ltd. ^ 
 
 26 Southampton Street A 
 
 Strand ^ 
 
 
FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAMA. 
 
 Price 15 Cents each.— Bound Volcimes $1.25. 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 1 Ion 
 
 2 F:aio 
 
 3 The Lndy ol Lyons 
 
 4 Richelieu 
 6 Tlie Wile 
 
 6 The Honeymoon 
 
 7 The School tor Scandal 
 
 8 Money 
 
 VOL. II. 
 
 9 The Stranger 
 
 10 (irandlather Whitehead 
 
 11 Richard III 
 
 12 Love's Sacrifice 
 
 13 The Gamester 
 
 14 A Cure for the Heartachi 
 16 The Hunchback 
 
 16 Don Ca-sar de Bazan 
 
 VOL. HI. 
 n The Poor Gentleman 
 18 Hamlet 
 
 15 Ch:irles II 
 
 20 Venice Preserved 
 
 21 Pizarro 
 
 22 Tlie Love Chase 
 
 23 Othello 
 
 24 Lend me Five Shillings 
 
 VOL. IV. 
 
 25 Virginius 
 
 26 King of the Commons 
 2T London Assurance 
 
 28 The Rent Day 
 
 29 Two Gentlemen of Verona 
 aOThe Jealous Wife 
 
 31 The Rivals 
 
 32 Perfection 
 
 VOL. V. [Debts 
 .13 A New Way to Pay Old 
 
 34 Look Before You Leap 
 
 35 King John 
 
 36 Nervous Man 
 
 37 Damon and Pythias 
 
 38 Clandestine Marriage 
 
 39 William Tell 
 
 40 Day after the Wedding 
 
 VOL. VI. 
 
 41 Speed the Plough 
 
 42 Romeo and Juliet 
 
 43 Feudal Times 
 
 44 Charles the Twelfth 
 
 45 The Bride 
 
 46 The Follies of a Night 
 
 47 Irim Chest [Fair Lady 
 
 48 Faint Hear: Never' Won 
 
 VOL. VII. 
 
 49 Road to Ruin 
 60 Macbeth 
 
 51 Temper 
 
 52 Evadne 
 6.'i Bertram 
 
 64 The Duenna 
 
 55 M uch Ado About Nothing 
 
 66 The I'rilic 
 
 VOL. VIII, 
 
 67 The Apostate 
 
 68 Twell'th Night 
 
 69 Brutus 
 
 60 Simpson & Co 
 
 61 Mercha.,t of Venice 
 
 62 OldHeadsA Young Hearts 
 
 63 Mnuntaineers [riage 
 
 64 Three Weeks after Mar- 
 
 VOL. LX. 
 
 65 Love 
 
 66 As You Like It 
 
 67 The Elder Brother 
 
 68 Werner 
 
 69 Gisippus 
 
 1U Town and Country 
 
 71 King Lear 
 
 72 Blue Devils 
 
 VOL. X. 
 
 73 Henry VIII 
 
 74 Married and Single 
 76 Henrv IV 
 
 76 Paul Pry 
 
 77 Guv Mannering 
 
 78 Sweethearts and Wives 
 
 79 Serious Family 
 
 80 She Stoops to Conquer 
 
 VOL. XI. 
 
 81 Julius Ca-sar 
 
 82 Vicar of Wakefield 
 
 83 Leap Year 
 
 84 The Catspaw 
 
 B5 The Passing Cloud 
 
 86 Drunkard 
 
 87 Rob Roy 
 
 88 George Barnwell 
 
 VOL. XH. ■ 
 
 89 Tngomar 
 
 90 Sketches in India 
 
 91 Two Friends 
 9; Jane Shore 
 
 93 Corsican Brothers 
 
 94 Mind your own Business 
 
 95 Writing on the Wall 
 
 96 Hek at Law 
 
 VOL. XIII. 
 
 97 Soldier's Daughter 
 9- Douglas 
 
 99 Marco Spada 
 
 00 Nature's Nobleman 
 
 01 Sardanapalus 
 
 02 Civilization 
 
 03 The Robbers 
 
 04 Katharine and Petruchio 
 
 VOL. XIV. 
 06 Game of Love 
 
 06 Midsum_.er Night's 
 
 07 Ernestine [Dream 
 
 08 Rag Picker of Paris 
 
 09 Flying Dutchman 
 io Hypocite 
 
 11 Ther^.e 
 
 12 La Tour de Nesle 
 
 VOL. XV. 
 
 13 Trerand As It Is 
 
 14 Sea of Ice 
 
 15 Seven Clerks 
 
 16 Game ol Life 
 
 17 Forty Thieves 
 
 18 Bryan Boroihme 
 
 19 Romance and Reality 
 
 20 Ugolino 
 
 V^L. XVI. 
 
 21 The Tempest 
 
 22 The Pilot 
 
 23 Carpenter of Rouen 
 4 King's Rival 
 
 25 Little Treasure 
 
 26 Dombey and Son 
 
 2" Parents and Guardians 
 18 Jewess 
 
 VOL. XVII. 
 
 29 Camille 
 
 30 Married Life 
 
 31 Wen lock of Wenlock 
 
 32 Rose of Etlrickvale 
 
 33 David Copperfield 
 
 34 Aline, or the Rose of 
 
 35 Pauline [Killarney 
 
 36 Jane Eyre 
 
 VOL. XVIII. 
 
 37 Night and Morning 
 
 38 ^thiop 
 
 ;<9 Three Guardsmen 
 
 40 Tom Cringle 
 
 41 Henriette. the Forsaken 
 
 42 Eustache Baudin 
 
 43 Ernest Maltravers 
 
 44 Bold Dragoons 
 
 VOL. XIX. 
 
 45 Dred, or the Dismal 
 
 [Swamp 
 
 46 Last Davs of Pompeii 
 
 47 Esmeralda 
 
 48 Peter Willins 
 
 49 Ben the Boftswain 
 
 50 Jonathan Bradford 
 
 61 Retribution 
 
 62 Minerali 
 
 VOL. XX. 
 53 French Spv 
 64 V. ept of Wish-ton Wish 
 55 Evil Genius 
 66 Ben Bolt 
 
 57 Sailor of France 
 
 58 Red Mask 
 
 59 Life of an Actress 
 
 60 Wedding Day 
 
 VOL. XXI. 
 Ifil All's Fair in Love 
 
 162 Hofer 
 
 163 Self 
 
 164 Cinderella 
 
 165 Phantom 
 
 166 Franklin [Moscow 
 
 167 The Gunmaker of 
 
 168 The Love oi ,. Prince 
 VOL. XXII. 
 
 169 Son of the Night 
 
 170 Rory O'More 
 
 171 Golden Eagle 
 ■72 Rienii 
 
 173 Broken Sword 
 
 174 Rip Van Winkle 
 
 175 Isabelle 
 
 176 Heart of Mid Lothian 
 VOL. XXIII. 
 
 177 Actress of Padua 
 
 178 Floating Beacon 
 
 179 Bride of Lammermoor 
 
 180 Cataract of the Ganges 
 
 181 Robber of the Rhine 
 
 182 School ot Reform 
 
 183 Wandering Boys 
 
 184 Mazeppa 
 
 VOL. XXIV. 
 186 Young New York 
 
 186 The Victims 
 
 187 Romance after Marriage 
 
 188 Brigand 
 
 189 Poor of New York 
 
 190 Ambrose Gwinett 
 
 191 Raymond and Agnes 
 
 192 Gambler's Fate 
 
 VOi.. XXV. 
 
 193 Father and Son 
 
 194 Miissaniello 
 
 196 Sixteen String Jack 
 
 196 youthtul Queen 
 
 197 Skeleton Witness 
 
 198 Innkeeper of Abbeville 
 
 199 Miller and his Men 
 •iV Aladdin 
 
 VOL. XXVI. 
 
 201 Adrienne the Actress 
 
 202 Undine 
 
 203 Jesse Brown 
 
 204 Asmodeus 
 
 205 Mormons 
 
 206 Blanche of Brandywine 
 
 207 Viola 
 
 208 Deseret Deserted 
 
 VOL. XXVll. 
 
 209 Americans in Paris 
 
 210 Victorine 
 
 211 Wizard of the Wave 
 
 212 Castle Spectre 
 
 213 Horse-shoe Robinson 
 21. Armand, Mrs. Mowatt 
 
 Fashion, Mrs. Mowatt,' 
 
 216 Glance at New York 
 VOL. XXVIH. 
 
 217 Inconstant 
 
 218 ITncIe Tom's Cabin 
 
 219 Guide to the Stage 
 
 220 Veteran 
 
 221 Miller of New Jersey 
 
 222 Dark Hour before Dawn 
 
 223 Midsum'rNight'sDream 
 [L:iura Keene's Edition 
 
 224 Art and Artifice 
 VOL. XXIX. 
 
 226 Poor Young Man 
 
 226 Ossawattomie Brown 
 
 227 Pope of Rome 
 
 228 Oliver Twist 
 
 229 Pauvrette 
 
 230 Man in the Iron Mask 
 
 231 Knight of Arva 
 
 232 Moll Pitcher 
 VOL. XXX. 
 
 233 Black Eyed Susan 
 v-;4 Satan in Paris 
 
 236 Rosina Meadows [ess 
 
 236 West End, or Irish Heir 
 
 237 Six Degrees of Crime 
 
 238 The L.tdy and the Devil 
 
 239 A venirer, or Moor of Sici 
 
 VOL. XXXI. 
 
 241 Merry Wives of Windeor 
 
 242 Mary's Birthday 
 
 243 Shandv Maguire 
 
 244 Wild daU 
 
 245 Michael Erie 
 '46 Idiot Witness 
 
 247 Willow Copse 
 
 248 People's Lawyer 
 
 vol XXXII. 
 
 249 The boy Martyrs 
 
 250 Lucretia Borgia 
 
 251 Surgeon of Paris 
 262 Patrician's Daughte» 
 
 253 Shoemaker of Toul use 
 
 254 Momentous Question 
 
 255 Love and Loyalty 
 
 266 Robber's Wife 
 VOL. XXXIII. 
 
 267 Dumb Girl of Genoa 
 2 8 Wreck Ashore 
 
 259 Clari 
 
 260 Rural Felicity 
 
 261 Wallace 
 
 262 Madelaine 
 
 263 The Fireman 
 
 264 Grist to the Mill 
 
 VOL. XXXIV. 
 
 265 Two Loves and a Life 
 
 266 Annie Blake 
 
 267 Steward 
 
 268 Captain Kyd 
 
 269 Nii-k of the Woods 
 
 270 Marble Heart 
 
 271 Second Love 
 
 272 Dream at Sea 
 
 Vol. XXXV. 
 
 273 Breach of Promise 
 
 274 Review 
 
 276 Lady of the Lake 
 
 276 Still Water Runs Deep 
 
 277 The Scholar 
 
 278 Helping Hands 
 
 279 Faust and Marguerite 
 2H0 Last M'ln 
 
 VOL. XXXVI. 
 
 281 Belle's Stratagem 
 
 282 Old and Young 
 
 283 Raffaella 
 
 284 Ruth Oakley 
 
 286 British Sir .'e 
 2a6 A Life's kansom 
 
 287 Giralda 
 
 28 Time Irie- Ail 
 
 VOL. XXXVII. 
 
 289 Ella Rosenborg 
 
 290 Warlock of the Glen 
 
 291 Zelina 
 
 292 Beatrice 
 
 293 Neighbor Jackwood 
 
 294 Wonder 
 
 295 Robert Emmet 
 
 296 Green Bushes 
 
 VOL. xxxvni. 
 
 297 Flowers ol the Forest 
 
 298 A Bachelor of Arts 
 
 299 The Midnight Banquet 
 
 300 Husband of «n Hour 
 
 301 Love's Labor Lost 
 
 302 Naiad Queen 
 
 303 Caprice 
 
 304 Cradle of Liberty 
 
 VOL. XXXIX. 
 
 305 The Lost Ship 
 
 306 Country Squire 
 
 307 Fraud and its Victims 
 
 308 Putnam 
 
 309 King and Deserter 
 
 310 La F ammina 
 
 311 A Hard Struggle 
 
 312 Gwinnette Vaughan 
 
 VOL. XL. 
 
 313 The Love Knot [Judge 
 
 314 Lavater, or Not a Bad 
 
 315 The Noble Heart 
 
 316 Coriolanus 
 
 317 The Winter's Tale 
 
 318 Eveleen Wilson 
 
 319 Ivanh. 
 
 240 Masks and Faces [ly|320 Jonathan in England 
 
 (French's Standard Drama Continued on jd page o_f Cover.) 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH, 28=30 West 38th Street, New York City. 
 
 New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free "^n Request 
 
THE TWO DICKS 
 
 311 ComeUp in Ctoo 3llct^ 
 
 BY 
 
 BESSIE W. SPRINGER 
 
 Copyright, 191 i, by Samuel French 
 
 CAUTION:— The professional acting rights of this play are 
 reserved by the publisher, Samuel French, 28-30 West 
 38th. Street, New York, and is subject to a royalty when 
 produced, and permission for such performances must be 
 obtained before performances are given. This notice does 
 not apply to amateurs, who may perform the play with- 
 out permission. All professional unauthorized produc- 
 tions will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 
 
 New York 
 SAMUEL FRENCH 
 
 London 
 SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 
 
 puBi-isHER 26 Southampton Street 
 
 !}8-30 WEST 38th STREET I STRAND 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Cbaracters. 
 
 Miles Lambert, of New York. 
 
 Dick Jerome, of New York. 
 
 Dixon Jerome, of Pittsburg, his Twin Brother. 
 
 Betty (Mrs. Miles Lambert). 
 
 Alice Sinclair, of New York (Engaged to Dick). 
 
 Marie Brooks, of Pittsburg (Engaged to Dixon) 
 
 Anna, Maid at the Lambert's. 
 
 Scene. — Living-room in the Lambert's Country House 
 on the Hudson. Christmas Eve. 
 
 Time— The Present. 
 
 DIAGRAM. 
 
 I. Hat rack; 2. Windows; 3. Table; 4. Chest; 5. Davenport; 
 6. Fireplace ; 7. Plant ; 8. Tabk ; 9. Desk ; 10. Easy chair ; 
 X. Easy chairs; X. At desk, straight chair; 11. Smoking set on 
 tabouret ; X. At L. U. E., hall chair. 
 
 t ■. - /, 
 
 ©C!.D 26029 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 (Scene : — Living-room in the Lambert's country house 
 on the Hudson^ Chiistmas Eve. A room hung in 
 red. Exits at L. i E., l. u. e. and R. u. e. Two 
 windows, R. C. Between doors on left is a fireplace 
 a fire a-light, and on the mantel a clock aiid two 
 brass candle-sticks. A davenport stands in front of 
 fire and has two pilloie>s on it. A table at C, a little 
 to the right, holds an electric lamp with a red and 
 green shade, and a book rack containing books is in 
 one corner, several magazijies are on the other side, 
 and a match-safe and ash-tray complete the table 
 furnishing. An easy-chair stands on each side of 
 the table, and a little to the right is a taborette holding 
 a smoking-set, pipe, cigarettes and so forth. At 
 right, up stage is a small desk, an easy-chair stands 
 in frotit of it, and the fittings of the desk are of brass. 
 Near R. u. E. stands a hat rack and a coat hangs 
 on it. At c. in the back is a table holding an electric 
 lamp, several pieces of bric-a-brac, and a tall glass 
 vase. Another easy-chair stands at the left, and 
 near L. u. e. is a chest ivith pillows heaped on it. 
 Portieres of red hang at each door and make over- 
 drapes for the windows. Several rugs cover the 
 floor and a small desk lamp stands on desk. The 
 light inside and out is that of a late winter's after- 
 noon, and it snows gently without. On curtain. 
 Miles is discovered on a step-ladder near the 
 window, puttifig up decorations. He hangs the 
 wreath he has between the windows, turns to 
 Betty who is at the foot of the ladder, and holds 
 out his hand for the paper bell she has. She gives 
 3 
 
4 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 it to him, he hangs it below the wreath, comes off the 
 ladder, moves the ladder to the hall door, l. u. e., 
 mounts and holds out his hand for the other bell, 
 which Betty holds.) 
 
 Betty. Do you think that is a good place for it? 
 
 Miles, {surveying the situatio?i) Why not .' 
 
 Betty. It will hit when the door opens. 
 
 Miles, {waving his hand) Let the door remain 
 closed. 
 
 Betty, {same business) How will you get into the 
 hall? 
 
 Miles. Through the key-hole. Very convenient. 
 
 Betty, {amused) You're too absurd. 
 
 Miles, {getting off the ladder) Where shall I put 
 it, then ? 
 
 Betty. Over the mantel. 
 
 Miles, {moving the ladder to fireplace, and putting 
 bell on top of it) All right. 
 
 Bbtty. {opening a parcel on the davenport) Don't 
 you think a festoon of evergreen would look better 
 there ? 
 
 Miles, {mounting ladder and turning to look at her) 
 Festoon of evergreen ? 
 
 Betty. Yes, draped. {He looks puzzled) Like 
 this. {Illustrates) 
 
 Miles, {sitting on top of ladder) Oh, gee, no I 
 The bell will look lots better. 
 
 Betty. Well, maybe it will, Let's see. Where is 
 the bell ? 
 
 Miles, {looking around the room) I don't know. 
 What did I do with it ? 
 
 Betty, {after looking around for it and going behind 
 the ladder) Miles Lambert, you're sitting on it. 
 
 Miles, {rising hastily, and holding up a much crushed 
 bell) Well, I'll be 
 
 Betty, {hastily) How stupid, and that's the last 
 bell we have. 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 5 
 
 MiLKs. Hooray, I won't have to hang up an3'thing 
 more. 
 
 Betty. Oh, yes you will. There's all this ever- 
 green. 
 
 Miles, {subdued) Hang it up. (Betty does so. 
 Miles taking one end, tacks it up, and pulls t/te piece 
 across tight) How's that ? 
 
 Betty. Oh, that won't do at all. Make festoons. 
 
 Miles. Like that ? 
 
 Betty. Yes. (Miles tacks up evergreen and de- 
 scends) 
 
 Betty. I know where there is another bell. It can 
 go there. {Exit, R. u. e) 
 
 (Miles sits on bottom step of ladder.) 
 
 Betty, {re-entering with bell in hand) Here it is. 
 
 Miles, {taking it and ascending ladder) Now to sit 
 on this one. 
 
 Betty. Don't you dare. 
 
 Miles, {tacking it up in centre of mantel) How's 
 that? 
 
 Betty, {critically) I think it would be better to the 
 left. 
 
 Miles, {moving left) Like that .? 
 
 Betty. Well, no. It was better where it was. 
 
 Miles. Now Betty 
 
 Betty. It won't be a bit artistic if it isn't just right. 
 
 Miles. Artistic be blowed ! {He moves it to centre). 
 
 Betty. No, that won't do at all. {He looks despair- 
 ing) To the right would be better. {He moves it to right) 
 No, wait. 
 
 Miles, {dropping bell and wiping his face with a 
 handkerchief) For the Lord's sake, make up your 
 mind. 
 
 Betty, {sweetly and picking up bell) Don't get 
 impatient, dearie. 
 
 Miles. I'm worn to a frazzle now. Gimme the 
 bell. 
 
6 THE T^^O DICKS. 
 
 Betty, {handing it up) Now a little to the right. 
 
 Miles. {iakifig it) Are you sure.'' 'Cause I'll 
 not change it again, that's flat. 
 
 Betty. Yes, that will do. (Miles hatigs it and 
 descends) 
 
 (Betty gathers up Utter of boxes, string and tissue paper 
 scattered around room, ivhile Miles 7vipes face.) 
 
 Miles. Whew 1 that's hot work. 
 
 Betty. {same business 7vith litter) And nearly 
 zero outside. 
 
 Miles. Can't help that. {lookifig at decorations) 
 Looks pretty nice tho'. Who all is coming. 
 
 Betty, {carrying out Utter R. u. e.) Only Alice. 
 
 Miles. {catching at ladder for support) Alice ! 
 Did you say Alice ? 
 
 Betty, {off stage) Yes. 
 
 Miles. Suffering cats ! What on earth shall I do ? 
 Here I've asked Dick Jerome down here for Christmas, 
 and he and Alice have broken their engagement. Why. 
 they don't even speak. What a mix-up. {He carries 
 ladder out l. u. E. and returns at once) May be he 
 won't come. I should have heard from him before 
 this. {He sits in easy chair by desk) It grows darker 
 and snows harder. 
 
 Betty, {entering r. u. e.) What time is it, dearie. 
 
 Miles, {consulting ivatch) Nearly five. 
 
 Betty, {coining c. and turfiing up Ught on table) 
 Alice will 
 
 Miles, {qinckly) Alice Sinclair, isn't it ? 
 
 Betty, {settling herself; book in hand, at left of table) 
 She's the only Alice I know, and she ought to be here 
 soon uow. 
 
 Miles. There's no doubt that she's coming, I 
 suppose. 
 
 Betty, {looking up from book) Why no. I just 
 sent Luke down to the train with the carriage, {reads) 
 
 Miles. Carriage ! What for ? 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 7 
 
 Betty, Because it's snowing so hard. 
 
 Miles. That's right, it is snowing pretty hard. 
 Maybe she won't come. 
 
 Betty, {looking up su>-prised) Maybe she won't 
 come ? 
 
 Miles. Maybe not. 
 
 Betty. {reading) Wliy, she was crazy about it. 
 Of course she'll come. 
 
 Miles. Oh, sure, she'll come, {makes a face) 
 
 Betty, {catching him at it) Why, Miles, don't you 
 
 like Alice ? 
 
 Miles. Oh, sure, fine girl, fine girl. 
 
 Betty. Then why did you make such a face ? 
 
 {Enter Anna rvith telegram.) 
 
 Anna. Telegram, sir. 
 
 Miles, {taking telegram and reading) Great Caesar ! 
 
 Betty. What is it ? Bad news ? 
 
 Miles, {pacing floor) Great Caesar ! 
 
 Betty, {rising) Miles, what is it ? Let me see 
 the telegram. 
 
 Miles, {stopping) It's only Dick. 
 
 Betty. What about him ? Is he hurt or 
 
 Miles. No, he isn't hurt. I wish he was. I wish 
 he'd broken his leg. 
 
 Betty. Why, Miles ! 
 
 Miles, {desperately) He's coming here. 
 
 Betty. Here ? When ? 
 
 Miles. Now. Sent this message from the station. 
 Had to wait to see a man. 
 
 Betty. Coming here ? But how 
 
 Miles. Must I make a drawing of it ? He's coming 
 here to spend Christmas. I invited him. 
 
 Betty. {calmly) Oh, did you ? (Miles noJi 
 despairingly) How thoughtful of you. (Miles stares 
 and she walks to window) I never thought of him. 
 and of course Alice wouldn't be satisfied without him. 
 
 Miles, {aside and pacing floor) Jumping catsl 
 
8 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 She can't know about their quarrel, {aloud) Well, 
 you see, dear 
 
 Betty, {arratigiiig witidow curtains) And I don't 
 see why you were so excited about the message, {as 
 though a thought strikes her) 'J'here must have been 
 something else in it. Miles, I insist on 
 
 Miles. That is all there was in the message. 
 
 Betty. Then why 
 
 Miles. Well, you see, dear, Alice and Dick — , 
 well, their engagement is — is 
 
 Betty. Yes, is announced. They've been engaged 
 some time, {bell rings) And here's Alice. {Exit 
 L. u. E. 
 
 Miles, {dramatically) " Mischief, thou art afoot, 
 take thou what course thou wilt." {Exit R. u. e.) 
 
 (Enter Betty showing in Alice and followed by Anna 
 with a suit-case, at L. u. E.) 
 
 Betty. Anna, take Miss Sinclair's suit-case to the 
 blue room. 
 
 {Exit Anna.) 
 
 Alice, {going to Jire and warming hands) My, it's 
 cold. 
 
 Betty. Perhaps you would like to go up to your 
 room. 
 
 Alice. {taking off coat) I'll go there directly. 
 {sits on Davenport, smoothing hair, and seeming a little 
 preoccupied) 
 
 Betty. {sitti?ig beside her) Now tell me all the 
 news. 
 
 Alice, {idly turnifig the leaves of a book she finds on 
 davenport) There isn't very much. 
 
 Betty. Oh, there must be. I don't get news down 
 here, but Miles likes the change, and so do I, so we 
 come down. 
 
 Alice. It's lovely at this time of the year. 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 9 
 
 Betty. How did the Rittman-Hoffnian wedding 
 come off ? I heard you were to be brides-maid. 
 
 Alice. Yes, I was. Oh, everything was lovely, 
 but, my dear, she was a sight. 
 
 Betty. Did you ever see her anything else ? 
 
 Alice. Never, but she's a sweet girl. 
 
 Betty. Oh, yes, she's a dear, tho' not good-looking. 
 But how 
 
 Alice. But how did she ever get Bob Hoffman ? 
 why Dick, — er — Mr. Jerome said 
 
 Betty. Oh, how is Dick ? 
 
 Alice. That he felt as tho' he had to marry her, 
 Bob I mean, of course, because he was such an old 
 friend of the family, and then her people made such a 
 set for him. 
 
 Betty. I should think they did. Why they haven't 
 a penny, and I heard she had to borrow money to buy 
 her trousseau. 
 
 Alice, {arousing a little) I heard so, too. 
 
 Betty. And she got her .satin pumps from Irene 
 Jerome. 
 
 Alice. Yes, Dick — er — Mr. Jerome said she did. 
 
 Betty. Oh, Alice, he's coming 
 
 Alice. He's not Dick to me any more. 
 
 Betty. Alice, {seizijig her left hand Why, your 
 ring is gone. 
 
 Alice, {pulling her hatid away) Certainly. It is 
 customary to return it when an engagement is broken. 
 
 Betty, {rising) Alice Sinclair, you haven't broken 
 your engagement? 
 
 Alice. Yes. 
 
 Betty. You're a bad, wicked girl 
 
 Alice. Betty. 
 
 Betty, {walking) A heartless 
 
 Alice. Why, Betty ! 
 
 Betty, {stopping in front of her) To throw over 
 Dick Jerome ; you ought to be ashamed. 
 
 Alice, {beginning to cry) I'd be more ashamed if 
 I hadn't. 
 
10 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Betty. But why ? 
 
 Alice. At least I have my self-respect left. 
 
 Beti'y. Your self-respect ? 
 
 Alice. That's what I said. 
 
 Betty. What did he do ? He was always so 
 devoted. 
 
 Alice. That just makes it worse. To think of his 
 turning his attention in another direction. 
 
 Betty, {aghast) He never did that. 
 
 Alice. He deliberately threw me over for anothar 
 girl. Hateful old thing ; if I could just get hold of 
 her. 
 
 Betty. Another girl ? 
 
 Alice, (sobbing) Did I ask for his attentions ? 
 Did I ask for his old ring ? {rising) Did I ever run 
 after him ? 
 
 Betty. He was just crazy about you ; he told me 
 so himself. 
 
 Alice. Wasn't he always sending me something, 
 or taking me somewhere ? Just having a fit if I looked 
 at any other man ; and then he fell in love with another 
 girl. 
 
 Betty. I cannot believe it. Are you sure ? 
 
 Alice, {sitting) Sure ? Indeed I am. Last year 
 when he went to Boston " on business," Ethel Foster 
 saw him at Narragansett Pier. 
 
 Betty. At Narragansett Pier ? 
 
 Alice. Yes. She doesn't know him to speak to, 
 only by sight, but said she couldn't be mistaken, she'd 
 know Dick anywhere, and, Betty, he was with some 
 girl all the time, rode with her, danced with her, 
 walked with her, played tennis with her, and taught 
 her to swim. The dear timid little thing couldn't 
 swim ! Why, Bet, she probably knew how just as well 
 as he did ! 
 
 Betty. For goodness' sake ! 
 
 Alice. Well, you know what a gossip that Foster 
 thing is, and not any too particular about the truth, so 
 I just laughed. She was perfectly furious then, of 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 11 
 
 course, and she said : Oh, I know you don't beHcve 
 me, but the hotel register wouldn't he, so I just looked 
 at it and there was his signature, " D. Jerome, of Pitts- 
 burg." He didn't even want people to know where 
 he was from. 
 
 Betty. How strange. 
 
 Alice. And then she showed me a snap-shot she 
 took of them sitting on a rock. Oh, they didn't know 
 she took it. They thought they were quite alone, you 
 could see that by the picture. 
 
 Betty. It was Dick ? 
 
 Alice. Oh, it was Dick all right, [cries on arm of 
 chair) 
 
 Betty, {putting her arm around Alice) Never 
 mind, dear, it will come out all right, he will be able 
 to explain 
 
 Alice, {sitting up and wiping eyes') Oh, he couldn't. 
 
 Betty, {sitting on arm of chair at right of table, 
 and speaking in the experienced tone of one five years 
 married) My dear, men can explain anything. 
 
 Alice. Well, he couldn't. 
 
 Betty. Have you seen whether he can ? 
 
 Alii„e. Yes. I didn't see that Foster thing till 
 about a month ago, so I didn't know anything about it. 
 
 Betty. But Dick, was he just the same ? 
 
 Alice, {nods) Yes. 
 
 Betty, {rising) Oh, then there is some mistake. 
 
 Alice. I asked him how he liked Narragansett and 
 he said he had never been there. 
 
 Betty, {pausing at table) He did ? 
 
 Alice. {passionately) Betty, I could have for- 
 given him, even up to that time, for you know what 
 summer flirtations are, but he lied to me. I showed 
 him the picture on the rock. Why, I'd have even 
 overlooked that, if he had said it was only a summer 
 afTair, and assured me he still cared for me. 
 
 Betty. But he didn't ? 
 
 Alice, {wearily) Oh, he said over again the things 
 he had said on every visit, insisted I was the only girl, 
 
12 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 but he absolutely refused to confess, and declared he 
 had never been there, or that he had ever seen such 
 a girl. 
 
 Betty. Why, he was absolutely brazen ! 
 
 Alice. Of course I got angry, and told him not to 
 think I was so easily imposed on, and gave him one 
 more chance to tell the truth, and then he said I was 
 only trying to quarrel with him, and he got perfectly 
 furious, and he just shouted that he'd never been near 
 the place, and (sods) that if I didn't believe him, I 
 knew what I could do. 
 
 Betty. Why, he's a perfect wretch, Alice. 
 
 Alice, {soblnng) And then, Betty, he got up and 
 grabbed his hat, and a picture fell out of his pocket. 
 I got to it before he could, and, Betty, it was the same 
 girl. 
 
 Betty. What ! the one at the Pier ? (Alice nods) 
 And he was carrying it around with him ? (Alice nods) 
 Why, hanging is too good for him. 
 
 Alice. It was signed 
 
 Beety. Signed ? 
 
 Alice, {rising) " To my dear Dick, from Marie." 
 I always did hate the name of Marie. 
 
 Betty. I wouldn't think of 
 
 Alice. (drying eyes and walking jip and down) 
 Not that I care about him ; why, I never want to see 
 him again. 
 
 Betty, {following her) You poor dear. 
 
 Alice. Of course I have put him right out of my 
 mind. I haven't even thought of him once. 
 
 Betty. I should think not, he doesn't deserve a 
 thought. 
 
 Alice. But when I think of how nice he is — was, 
 and so good-looking, and all the girls envied me ; for 
 you know they all wanted him, why, I — I {cries) 
 
 Betty, {embracing her) You poor darling. Well, 
 when you picked up the picture, what then ? 
 
 Alice. When I saw her old face, Betty, I just 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 13 
 
 wanted to die, and I just threw the picture at him, and 
 my ring after it, and told him to get to his Marie as 
 fast as he could, and then 1 showed him the snapshot. 
 
 Betty. What on earth did he say ? 
 
 Alice. Still denied that he knew her, and tried to 
 tell me the picture was sent to him. 
 
 Betty. Of course it was sent to him, she sent it. 
 My dear, you were lucky to have found him out. 
 
 Alice. Oh, no I wasn't, for I loved — loved him, 
 
 Betty. Did he go then ? 
 
 Alice. I told him I never wanted to see him again, 
 and then he went, and oh, Betty, how he slammed the 
 front door, just banged it. 
 
 Betty. {loftily) See what a temper he has ? 
 Always beware of a man that slams doors, {a door 
 ba?igs with great violence off stage) Why, what's that ? 
 
 Miles, {off stage) It's a wonder you don't have 
 every door locked; a man can't get in anywhere but 
 through a window, {door slams) 
 
 Betty. {hurriedly) How the wind bangs that 
 door. Won't you come up to your room, dearie ? 
 
 Alice, {rising and gathering tip her wraps) I'm a 
 sight. 
 
 Betty, {leading her off) Come and bathe your 
 eyes, and don't worry about it, some of your friends 
 will 
 
 Alice, {turtiing o?i her angrily') If any of my friends 
 interfere, I will never forgive them, and if any one in 
 a mistaken idea of friendship, and of " bringing us 
 together," ever invites us both to the same party or 
 house, especially house, I'll never speak to that person 
 again as long as I live; and I don't care if she is the 
 best friend I have. He would think I wanted to make 
 it up, and I will not be humiliated by such a meeting. 
 
 Betty. {who has been vainly trying to ititerrupt) 
 But Alice, I didn't know, and he's com 
 
 Alice, {unheeding) I simply cannot bear to hear 
 his name, much less the thought of seeing him. 
 
14 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 {Exit L. u. E.) 
 
 Betty. But Alice {nifts to door), he's coming — Oh, 
 dear, what shall I do now ? 
 
 Exit L. u. E. Enter Miles r. u. e. 
 
 Miles, {taking pipe from table and filling it) That 
 confounded door is always locked, who'd take anything 
 here ? {clock strikes) Hello, what time is that ? Dick's 
 train will be in in half an hour. We're certainly in a 
 heap of trouble with Alice coming too. {Sits on daven- 
 port and reflects) Poor Dick. It's the chance of his 
 life to make it up. {Lights pipe) That's a bully idea, 
 Betty and I will play the role of peace-makers, and 
 Alice will be willing enough to make up, I'll be bound. 
 That's it, we'll patch it up for them. 
 
 {Enter Betty at left.) 
 
 Miles, {turning) Say, Betty, isn't it good I invited 
 Dick ? 
 
 Betty, {coming forward) I should think it isn't. 
 Alice has broken her engagement. 
 
 Miles. I know it, and we'll fix it up for them. 
 
 Betty, {sitting at desk) Do you think I'll have 
 him here? Don't say a word. He lied to her about 
 his trip to Boston last summer, said he was going on 
 business. 
 
 Miles. He did. 
 
 Betty. He didn't. He went to Narragansett 
 instead, and was with another girl all the time. 
 
 Miles, Oh, come on. 
 
 Betty. Alice found it out, and she said she never 
 wanted to see him again. 
 
 Miles. Bosh ! 
 
 Betty. It isn't bosh. She has turned right against 
 him. 
 
 Miles, {puffing) She'll fall into his arms on sight. 
 
 Betty, {rising) She won't. That's the way with 
 men, they think a woman will forgive anything. Well, 
 
THE TWO DICKS. ir> 
 
 they are mistaken. He's a wicked, deceitful thing, and 
 you'll have to keep him from coming. 
 
 Miles, {^sitting up) You're crazy, I can't. His 
 train is due in fifteen minutes. 
 
 Betty, {commandingly Put on your coat and drive 
 to the station. 
 
 Miles, {risifig) I won't. 
 
 Betty. You must. 
 
 Miles. Now look here. You've bossed the job for 
 five mortal years, now the worm turns. If you think 
 I'll go to the station and turn Dick back after he has 
 been asked out, you're mistaken ; I won't do it. Do 
 you think I'll let him go back to the city dinnerless, 
 on a cold night like this, after he has come so far, and 
 all for a silly girl who doesn't know enough not to play 
 with her own happiness and his ? 
 
 Betty, (jvho has been pacing the floor impatiently 
 after a vain effort to interrupt hint) Miles, you are 
 wasting precious time. 
 
 Miles. Can't help it. Send Alice home. 
 
 Betty. I can't. Besides what could I tell her? 
 
 Miles. Tell her? Tell her anything. That I'm 
 sick. That's it. I've come down with the mumps. 
 Sure, the mumps. Why I can feel 'em now. {^Feeh 
 throat^ Gee, I'm sick. {Sinks on davenport with a 
 grin) 
 
 Betty. Oh, you're so absurd. I can't ask her to 
 
 go- 
 
 Miles, {rising) Let her stay. 
 
 Beity. But Dick ? 
 
 Miles, {firmly) He's coming. 
 
 Betty, {wringing her hands) What shall I do ? 
 Miles, what makes you so stubborn ? Alice will never 
 forgive me, never. She said that if anyone tried to 
 bring them together, she'd never forgive it, and after 
 what he did you can't blame her. {plaintively) And 
 she and I have been lifelong friends. She was my 
 honor maid at our wedding, don't you remember? 
 
16 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Miles. And Dick was my best man, and he's my 
 best friend. We went to Prep, school and to college 
 together, we were Frat. brothers, and room-mates, and 
 then you ask me to do this trick. All the girls on 
 earth aren't worth it. His time is valuable, do you 
 think I'll let him waste it by a useless journey ? He'd 
 never forgive me. 
 
 Betty, {slamming down a book on table for empha- 
 sis) Well, he can't come here {Bell rings^ Miles 
 whistles) 
 
 Betty. Now who's that ? 
 
 {Enter A.^'i^xfrom L. u. e.) 
 
 Anna. Mr. Jerome has come, {exit) 
 
 Betty. Oh, dear, what shall we do ? {to Miles, 
 who is whistling very loudly) Oh, why don't you sug- 
 gest something ? This trouble is all your fault, {sobs 
 a little) 
 
 Miles, {seeing that it is a serious matter with her, 
 stops whistling, and reflects. After a pause) Keep 
 them apart. The house is large enough. 
 
 Betty. It can't be done. 
 
 Miles. Oh, yes it can. Not indefinitely of course, 
 but I'll go back to town on that eight o'clock train, — on 
 business of course, what would we do without business 
 for an excuse, and he'll go back with me. B-e-a-u-t-i- 
 f-u-1 ! {walks to fire) 
 
 Betty. It will never work, but we've got to try 
 something. {Efiter Dick l. u. e.) Hello, old man. 
 
 Miles, {shaking hands) Hello, get tired waiting ? 
 
 Dick. My no, just heard you talking. Ah, Mrs. 
 Lambert. 
 
 Betty, {shaking hands) I'm so glad to see you. 
 
 Dick. It was bully of you to ask me down here for 
 Christmas. 
 
 Betty. Oh, the pleasure is ours, I assure you 
 {Miles grins) 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 17 
 
 Betty, (aside) Stop that. (Dick goes fo fire and 
 begins to warm hands) 
 
 Miles, {saunters to L. u. e. looks out and returning 
 hastily to Betty who is standing at right of table, speaks 
 aside) Here comes Alice. 
 
 Betty. He mustn't see her. 
 
 Miles, (taking Dick by the arm) Come on to your 
 room. 
 
 Dick. Oh, I'll just stay here — (Miles drags him to 
 centre) I say, I'm cold, wait till I warm my hands. 
 (Betty, who is at l. u. e. signals to Miles). 
 
 Miles, (desperately, and dragging Dick to r. u. e.) 
 Come to your room, its colder there, that will warm 
 you up. Exit dragging Dick, who continues to protest) 
 (Enter Alice, l. u. e.) (Betty crosses hastily to desk) 
 
 Alice. Who was here ? 
 
 Betty. Miles. 
 
 Alice. (cojni?ig to table) No one else ? 
 
 Betty, (in confusion) Why do you ask ? 
 
 Alice. I thought I heard two men talking, {sus- 
 piciously) Did you ask any one else ? 
 
 Betty, (zvalking to fire) Did 1 ? No. 
 
 Alice. Some one come unexpectedly ? 
 
 Betty. Why, er — Miles was talking to me. 
 
 Alice, (following her to fire) No one else. (Betty 
 is silent) Why did he run out like that. 
 
 Betty, (more and more confused, atid walking to 
 7vindo7ii) To dress. See how it is snowing. 
 
 Alice, (following her) But he is dressed. What 
 are you trying to tell me ? 
 
 Betty. Oh, nothing, (bell rings) 
 
 Betty, (hurriedly) Why, who can that be, in all 
 this storm ? (calls) Anna, Anna. 
 
 Alice, (taking her ami) Now tell me who is here. 
 (Enter Anna, zvith card on salver l. u. e.) Anna. 
 The young lady is in the drawing-room. 
 
 Betty, (reading) Miss Marie Brooks, (exit Anna) 
 My dear, Marie Brooks, She's from Pittsburg, and a 
 
18 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 perfect darling, and she is visiting her aunt, Mrs. 
 
 Andrews in New York. 
 
 Alice {crossing to tab/e) I ha\en't met her. 
 Betty. Oh, I know you will like her. {Exit L. u. E.) 
 Alice, {after ivauhing Betty go off, turns to l. u. e. 
 
 also^ but as though changing her mind, starts offK. u. e. 
 
 Seems very suspicious, and ofi exit) Dick ! Could it 
 
 have been — ? exit r.) 
 
 {Enter Betty showing in Marie, at l. u. e.) 
 
 Betty. Sit right down by the fire, you must be 
 simply frozen. 
 
 Marie, {sitting at fire) I am. 
 
 Betty, {sitting in chair by fire) You say you were 
 on your way to Havens' house-party, but how on earth 
 did you happen to drive ? 
 
 Marie. I was late as usual, missed my train, so 
 had to drive. It was so stupid of me, but 1 never 
 dreamed it was so far. 
 
 Betty. How was that ? 
 
 Marie. The man at the station said it wasn't. 
 
 Betty. Why, it's five miles from here. 
 
 Marie. I know it, but when I first saw the lights 
 of your house, I thought it was the Havens'. Well, I 
 was so cold and tired, I simply couldn't go on till I 
 rested, so I came in. 
 
 Betty. You can't go to-night ; it's storming hard 
 now. We haven't a house-party, only two guests, and 
 have plenty of room, so you just make yourself comfy, 
 and we'll drive you over in the morning. {Enter Anna, 
 L. u. E. with a coat on her arm, and carrying a bag) 
 Anna, take Miss Brooks' bag to the room at the head 
 of the stairs, and see that the room is warm, {exit 
 Anna) Alice Sinclair is with me. 
 
 Marie. I believe I've heard of her. I can't thank 
 you enough, Betty. 
 
 Betty. Don't try, and I know you will just love 
 Alice. {Enter Alice r. u. e.) 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 19 
 
 Betty, {risvig) Oh, Alice, I want you to meet 
 Miss Brooks, Miss Sinclair, Marie. Miss Brooks is 
 going to join our little party, won't it be lovely ? {see- 
 iiig the girls eying eac/i other with a frozen stare) Why, 
 what is it ? Alice 
 
 Alice. {zcith a start) Oh, — er, glad to meet 
 you 
 
 Betty. {To Marie) Why, Marie! What is it ? 
 Have you met before .>" 
 
 Alice ^;?// Marie. We certainly have! 
 
 Alice, {tjinck/y) Well, no, no we've never met be- 
 fore. 
 
 Marie, {recovering herself). Oh, no, never had the 
 pleasure. 
 
 Alice, {icily) Pardon me, please. {Exit swiftly 
 l. u. e.) 
 
 Betty, {astonished) What extraordinary behavior ! 
 1 thought you had never met. (returns to c.) 
 
 Marie. We never have, but I have seen a picture 
 of her. 
 
 Betty. A picture ? {sits at table on left). 
 
 Marie, {sitting on davenport) That's all, but I 
 can't see how that affects her, she acted as though I 
 was a bitter enemy. 
 
 Betty. Well, so did you, and if you have only 
 seen her picture 
 
 Marie. Oh, it was a very charming one, I'll admit, 
 but I — Well, it wasn't where it should have been. 
 
 Betty. What do you mean ? 
 
 Marie, {after a pause) I'll tell you, though I 
 haven't breathed it to anyone else. My fianc<^ carried 
 it in his pocket just a little too long, and one night it 
 fell out and 1 saw it. 
 
 Betty. { pacing floor) What a coincidence. 
 
 Marie, {a trifle coldly) A coincidence ? I fail to 
 see 
 
 Betty, {stopping) I beg your pardon, and what 
 then? 
 
20 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Marie, {quietly) I broke my engagement. 
 Betty, (crossing to c.) There is some mistake. 
 Marie, (risir/g) There is no mistake. {ang?-ily) 
 I'd know her face anywhere, the CAT. 
 
 (Betty, after a startled look at her, walks to chest and 
 
 . sits on it. E7iterA'iin\,'L.\j.^.withalioxofJIowers 
 
 which she arranges in a vase on the table at back C.) 
 
 Marie, {toying with candlesticks on mantel) I really 
 think I should be getting to Havens', {to Anna) 
 Will you ask the driver to step here, please. 
 
 Anna, {turning to her) The driver, miss? He's 
 gone. 
 
 Marie. Gone ? 
 
 Anna. Yes, long ago, miss. He thought this was 
 the place you wanted. {Ma^ik gives a gesture of ivipatt- 
 ence) . 
 
 Betty, {arousing from her reverie a?id coming up 
 stage) How foolish, Marie, to think of going, on a 
 night like this. Let Anna show you to your room, 
 and 
 
 Marie, {sharply) But I can't stay with that girl 
 here. 
 
 Betty. What nonsense ; that will be all right. 
 You are mistaken, that's all. Let Anna take you up- 
 stairs. 
 
 Marie, {gathering up her wraps) It's plain I can't 
 go without a carriage, so I'll intrude a little while longer. 
 {Exit L. u. E.) 
 
 Anna. The room at the head of the stairs, wasn't 
 it, Madam ? 
 
 Betty, {sitting on davenport) Yes {Exit Anna, 
 L. u. E.) This is very queer. {Enter Alice r. u. e.) 
 
 Alice, {after looking aivuyid cautiously a?td coming 
 to table) Where is that Brooks. 
 
 Betty, {rising and speaking in a horrified tone) 
 Why, Alice, what ails you ? You were positively im- 
 polite to Miss Brooks, and now — - — {comes to table). 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 21 
 
 Alice, {sitting::; at right of table) I don't care. 
 
 Betty. But what has slie done to you, if you haven't 
 met before 
 
 Alice. {tearfn/Iy) Betty, she's the girl Dick was 
 with at Narragansett. 
 
 Betty, (ag/iast) Are you sure ? 
 
 Alice, {spitefully) Do you think I'd be mistaken 
 in that face, when 1 wake up in the night, and see her 
 — on the rock ? 
 
 Betty, {sitting at left) Tliere must be some mis- 
 take — but you would not both be mistaken. She said 
 she had seen your picture 
 
 Alice. Oh, I dare say she has. 
 
 Betty. But she quarreled with her fian — {aside) 
 I'd better keep that quiet, {aloud) Do be nice to 
 her, for it will spoil everything and she's going early 
 in the morning. 
 
 Alice. {rising) I'll try, dearie. I know I 
 shouldn't have acted so, but when I saw her hateful 
 old face, after seeing it even when I wake up in the 
 night — {hastily) not that I ever think of Dick 
 
 Betty, {concealing a smile) Of course not. I 
 can't tell you how sorry I am that this has happened, 
 and that she of all people should stop here, but I had 
 to urge her to stay. 
 
 Alice. Of course you did. {going to l. u. e.) I'm 
 going to my room. {Yi^iiY follows her to L. u. E. and 
 Alice exits. Betty starts to c. but on Miles, offstage 
 rrt///;/^ " Oh, Betty," she stops short, and a horrified 
 expression comes over her face.) 
 
 Betty, {mentally) Miles, and DICK? DICK'S 
 here and Alice, and Marie, {etiters Miles r. u. e. She 
 runs to him and seizes his arm) Miles, it's worse and 
 worse. 
 
 Miles, {surprised) What is ? 
 
 Betty. \in a tragic tone) Marie Brooks is here. 
 
 Miles, {taking out a cigarette as he comes up stage) 
 Hooray for Marie, who's she ? 
 
22 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Betty. Oh, how dense men are ! 
 
 Miles, {pausifig i?i the act of lighting the cigarette) 
 Well, I like that. Why ? 
 
 Betty. Can't you understand, Marie Brooks. 
 
 Miles, {impatiently) Who is she ? 
 
 Betty, (/;/ a patient tone) She is from Pittsburg, 
 and she was on her way to Havens' party, and it was 
 ton cold — for her to go on, and so 
 
 Miles. Too cold 
 
 Betty, {impatiently) Yes, for her to drive any 
 further 
 
 Miles. Driving, what for ? 
 
 Betty, {wearily) To get to Havens'. 
 
 Miles, {tricking up newspaper fj-om table and cross- 
 ing to davenport) What's the matter with the train ? 
 Too plebeian ? 
 
 Betty, {wearily) She missed the train, {gro2vs 
 more excited aiid ends with increased volume of tone and 
 speed) and had to drive, and it stormed so hard, and 
 was too far, and so stopped here, and she's here, now 
 and she won't go until morning. 
 
 Miles, {calmly, sitting doiun on the davenport, and 
 beginning to read paper) Well, suppose she is, we've 
 got lots of room. 
 
 Betty, {wrifiging her hands) But there's Alice — 
 they're both here. 
 
 Miles, {frofn behind the paper) Well, if Alice is 
 here, and this Miss Snooks is here, it is clearly obvious 
 that they are both here. You don't have to figure that 
 out by Algebra, {puts down paper and counts on fin- 
 gers) Take one person in a place, add another to her, 
 and you get two people, Miss Snooks 
 
 Betty. Oh, Brooks, not Snooks ! 
 
 Miles, {behind the paper) All the same. 
 
 Betty, {coming to the table) Miles Lambert, you're 
 a silly thing. Alice and Marie don't like each other. 
 
 Miles, {lookitig over paper) Eh ? 
 
 Betty. They say they've never met before, 
 but 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 23 
 
 Miles, {behind papet-^ Case of hate at first sight. 
 
 Betty. They are rivals. 
 
 Miles, {throwi/ig dotvn paper) Oh, this is rich ! 
 
 Betty. It is awful, you mean. They just hate 
 each other, and in the same house too. 
 
 Miles. Nice for you. Where do I come in trag- 
 edy, seconds, or referee ? Who are they fighting over ? 
 
 Betty. Dick Jerome. 
 
 Miles, {rolling on davenport) Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord, 
 
 Betty. She's the girl he and Alice quarreled over. 
 
 Miles, {sitting up) Who, Snooks .'^ (Betty nods) 
 Oh, ye little fishes, and Dick here I 
 
 Betty. He's got to go. If you had listened to me 
 in the first place this wouldn't have happened. We 
 can't possibly keep him from seeing at least one of 
 them, or they from seeing him. 
 
 Miles, {walking) What a meeting. I'd give a 
 twenty-dollar note to see it. 
 
 Betty, {returning to C.) Miles, my social reputation 
 is at stake. Such a thing is impossible. He MUST 
 go, and at once, for my sake he must go. 
 
 Miles. For his ^ww sake he must go. Great good- 
 ness^ a poor defenseless man, between two jealous 
 women. 
 
 Betty, {walking to r. u. e.) You spoke of catching 
 the train back 
 
 Miles. We can't wait for dinner, for that eight 
 o'clock isn't running to-night ; but what's dinner in the 
 face of a thing like this ? 
 
 Betty. ( looking off r. u. e.) Here comes Dick. 
 {Comes to c.) Now remember, he must go, and you 
 won't have any too much time. {Exit l. u. e.) 
 
 Miles, {pacing fioor) Now for the " doity woik.'' 
 
 {Enter Dick r. u. e.) 
 
 Dick, {settling his dinner coat) Hello, all dressed ? 
 Miles, {gloomily, and pacing floor) Looks like it. 
 Dick, {looking at htjn in surprise, and taking a box 
 of cigarettes from his pocket) Have a cigarette ? 
 
24 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Miles, {taking one) Don't mind if I do. Get a 
 match ? Dick hands him one, and ajter trying several 
 times to light it, throws it in the fire in disgust) That 
 match is no good. 
 
 Dick, {pausing in the act of lighting his cigarette) 
 That's queer, it was all right when I used it this morn- 
 ing, {grins, and sits at right of table) 
 
 Miles, {greatly disgusiea) Did you just hear that 
 one ? 
 
 Dick. {leaning back and pnfing) I thought it 
 would be new to you. {Ww.^^ makes a gesture of dis- 
 gust, and again paces floor) 
 
 Dick. Who do you think I saw on the train going 
 over to Chicago, last week ? 
 
 Miles, {pacing floor) I don't know. 
 
 Dick, {enthusiastically) Chubbie Chalmers ! 
 
 Miles, {evincing an interest for the first time, and 
 stopping) No 1 
 
 Dick. Yep. 
 
 Miles. What's he doing now ? 
 
 Dick. He's got a peach of a job with the Malleable 
 Iron Works, manager of the Kansas City branch. 
 
 Miles. Good for Chubbie. Is he as thin as he 
 used to be ? 
 
 Dick. Wasn't that kid a perfect rail ? 
 
 Miles, {sitting at left of tabic) No wonder, look 
 at the way he studied. 
 
 Dick. I should hope he did. 
 
 Miles. He was the only " grind" I ever liked. 
 
 Dick. That fellow was a wonder. He'd study all 
 night, get perfect in everything, and play the greatest 
 game of football the next day, and say, weren't some 
 of his dinners the hummers ? 
 
 Miles. I can taste 'em yet. 
 
 Dick. He and I were talking over old times. He 
 ran over to the college, early in the fall, just to be 
 there for the Robin initiation. He said some of the 
 public stunts were pretty good, but they could not 
 compare with the ones we put him through. 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 25 
 
 Miles, {greatly tickled) Weren't they great? I 
 thought I'd die the night we took Chub to every 
 theater in town, and put him down in the front row, 
 while we stood at the back to await developments. 
 
 Dick, (after a preliminary chuckle) And the way 
 he got up and yelled, right in the best part of the 
 play, " This show is bum, and I want my money 
 back." And then a couple of ushers would skate 
 down the isle, and throw him out. {laughs) 
 
 Miles. We'd be outside, waiting to pick him up 
 as he came hurtling through the doors, and take him 
 to the next theater. {Both roar) 
 
 Dick. But the killer, was the day we made him 
 dance down Main Street, long, lean, lank, Chubbie, 
 {rises) saying in a loud and penetrating voice, after 
 every third hop, " I'm a fool." {illustrates by putting 
 feet together and hopping fortvard three hops) "I'm 
 a fool {hop) " I'M a fool ! 
 
 Miles. . And we on the other side of the street in 
 convulsions. 
 
 (Miles leans back in chair, and T>ic.v. falls into his, both 
 overcoTtie with laughter.) 
 
 Dick, {sitting up and trying to control voice) And 
 the day we took him to see Alice, {the smile fades 
 from Miles' face, and he sits up, muttering " Alice ") 
 and made him propose by writing it on a slate. 
 
 Miles, (rising) By Jove, {paces floor) 
 
 Dick, {surprised) What's the matter? 
 
 Miles, {stopping) Why I — I 
 
 Dick. You what ? 
 
 Miles, {pacing) I'd forgotten all about it. 
 
 Dick. Forgotten what ? What ails you ? 
 
 Miles, {comifig to table) Well — you see 
 
 Dick, (surprised) Yes ? 
 
 Miles. Well, er, — that is, we've got — I've got- 
 
 DiCK. What are you getting at ? (aside) He acts 
 queer, {aloud) What's up ? 
 
 Miles. Well, you see, — er, we, well, the fact is, 
 we're pretty full here. 
 
26 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Dick. Well, you certainly are, I haven't seen the 
 rest. 
 
 Miles. Haven't had a drop. I've got to go back 
 to town. Awfully sorr}'^, but I must. Business, you 
 know, and that's a good excuse, only you know how 
 good. 
 
 Dick, {going to witidow, and turning to look at 
 him) I ? 
 
 Miles. So I'm going back to town to-night. 
 
 Dick, {returning to c) When did you hear ? 
 
 Miles. {walki?ig to fire) Just now. 6.30 the train 
 goes. 
 
 Dick, {openifig book at table) Is that the only one. 
 
 Miles. It is. Are you coming with me ? 
 
 Dick, {astonished, and droppiiig book on table) Why, 
 I don't know. (Miles looks greatly disturbed, and 
 st?-okes chin) I hadn't thought about "it. I suppose so. 
 
 Miles, {lookifig relieved) Of course, I hate to 
 drag you out again in all this snow, but it will be 
 rather dull here without me, and then Ali — {hastily) 
 We'd better get ready. 
 
 Dick. But what business can you have, to-morrow 
 is Christmas. 
 
 Miles. That's so — er — well, I'm going anyway. 
 {starts off\.. u. E.) 
 
 Dick, {in a resigned voice) All right, I'll get my 
 coat, {starts offv^. u. E.) 
 
 Miles. Hurry up, we haven't much time. {Exit 
 L. u. e.) 
 
 Dick, {grumbling) I'll be hanged if I like the idea 
 of going out in all this snow again, and he's had a 
 drop too much, acted queer when I came. {Exit 
 R. u. e.) 
 
 {Re-enter Miles, carrying a bag, and followed by Betty, 
 at L. u. e.) 
 
 Miles, {setting doivn the bag) It's all right, he's 
 going. 
 
 II 
 
THE two DICKS. 27 
 
 Betty. It would be the death of me, if he didn't. 
 But, Miles, you have got to go. 
 
 Miles. It's the only way, and I'll be back on that 
 eight o'clock train in the morning. 
 
 Betty, {sitting at table) I'll drive over and get 
 you, Alice and I. 
 
 Miles. (ang7-ily) Don't mention her to me. I 
 wish I'd never seen her. If I hadn't I wouldn't have 
 to stagger to the station with Dick under my arm, as 
 it were. Where are my rubbers ? {Exit l. u. e.) 
 
 Betty. Don't be so cross, Miles, {sits back in 
 c/iair) 
 
 {Efiter Dick r. u. e. wearing a coat, and carrying a hat, 
 and suit-case fnarked D. j.) 
 
 Dick, {putting bag on floor, and hat oti centre table) 
 Oh, Mrs. Lambert awfully sorry to leave you like this. 
 
 Betty. And before dinner too. 
 
 Dick. That's what I call rubbing it in. (Betty 
 laughs) But I must go with Miles, he'll need me if he 
 takes much more. 
 
 Betty. I beg your pardon — ? 
 
 Dick, {confused) Oh, yes, er, what was I saying — 
 er — hope to get out again, {heaves a sigh of relief ) 
 
 Betty, {pacing floor and looking at clock ofi mantel) 
 Why doesn't he hurry, he'll be late. 
 
 {Enter Miles, wearing a coat, and carrying a hat) 
 
 Miles, {kissing Betty) Good-bye, dear, {picks 
 up bag, and starts oflF left) Come on, Dick. (Dick 
 icks up hat and bag, and both start off left. As Miles 
 reaches door, clock strikes off stage) 
 
 Miles, {dropping bag) What time is that ? 
 
 Dick, {corning to c.) 6.30. 
 
 Miles. You're crazy. 
 
 Dick, {looking at clock) It is. That clock says 
 6.25. 
 
 Betty. That's fast. 
 
28 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Miles. Tke hall clock is right. 
 
 Dick. Well, that struck the half hour. 
 
 Miles. I'll see what time it really is. {Exit left) 
 (Betty is uticasy, and Dick, very complacetit, places suit- 
 case in portieres at R. u. e. a7id hat on rack by window) 
 
 Miles, {entering) We are too late. It is too late. 
 It is 6.30. 
 
 Betty, {sinking into chair at desk) Oh, what shall 
 we do ? 
 
 Dick, {much sntprised) Was it so important ? 
 
 Miles and Betty. I should think so. 
 
 Miles. What a chump I am. 
 
 Betty. There's no other train ? 
 
 Miles. No. 
 
 Dick. But your date. 
 
 Miles. • Will have to go hang, {enlarging ofi a sto7y) 
 Of course he'll be waiting, 
 
 Betty, {innocently, and rising) Who, Miles ? 
 
 Miles. sig?ialing for her to keep quiet) My man, 
 my man. (Dick saunters to fire, and Betty compre- 
 hending, zvalks to window, looks out L. u. E. and returns 
 swiftly to Miles, a?id speaks in an undertone) Quick, 
 here comes Marie. He must not see /;^r. {she returns 
 to L. u. E. and displays great agitation during what fol- 
 lows, turning to see if Marie enters. Signals to Miles 
 to hurty, etc.) 
 
 Miles, {grabbing Dick's arm) Come on. 
 
 Dick. What's your hurry, you can't catch that train 
 now. {begins removing coat) I'll just sit down and — 
 
 Miles, {seizing his arm) Oh, no you wont, {drags 
 him to R. D. E.) Come on. 
 
 Dick, {resisting) Where ? 
 .Miles. To see 
 
 Dick. See what ? Betty sig?ials frantically that 
 Marie is coming) 
 
 Miles, {in desperation) The cat, the cat. See, 
 {points) Come, kitty, {pushes Dick between the cur- 
 tains) 
 
 % 
 
THE TWO DICKS. ^ 
 
 Dick, {trying io get out again) Didn't know you 
 had a cat. 
 
 Miles. (/>nshifig Imn out) Neither did I, but she'.s 
 just come. {Exit both, r. u. e.) (Betty sinks ex- 
 hausted on chest as Miles ana Dick exit. 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 (Scene the same. Betty just reviving. Marie enters 
 ijnmediately on rise of the curtain from L. u. E. 
 
 Marie. Why, Betty, what's wrong ? You look quite 
 done out. 
 
 Betty, {risifig weak/y) I'm all right, just a little 
 tired, {she looks uneasily ofix. u. E. and sits at right 
 of table) 
 
 Marie, {sitting at left of table) This Christmas 
 shopping does for every one. 
 
 Betty {eagerly) Yes, it does. 
 
 Marie. My room is lovely. Really, Betty, your 
 house is beautiful. So large, you know. Why one 
 could have some one else here without any one know- 
 ing it. 
 
 Betty, {in a tone of horrified surprise) WHAT? 
 
 Marie, {much surprised) Yes, two parties, or 
 something. The den and all is arranged so. 
 
 Betty, {faintly) Oh, yes, of course, of course. 
 Fortunately. 
 
 Marie, {laughing) About Miss Sinclair you mean. 
 But really, Betty, I can't forgive her ; she's cat that's 
 all. I know she's your friend, but I can't. Such a 
 flirt, and she engaged. 
 
 Betty, {astonished) Engaged. Why you broke — 
 {Enter Miles at right, wiping brow with handkerchief) 
 
80 THE TWO DiCKS. 
 
 Betty, {rising and going to him, and speaking aside) 
 Where is Dick? 
 
 Miles, {aside) Looking for the CAT. Now re- 
 member, we've got a white angora. White. Don't 
 slip up on the color, I did just now, and we've got 
 enough to explain, without any answers about a cat, 
 what ain't. 
 
 Marie. {turning) Oh, Mr. Lambert. A cat ? 
 {rises and goes to him) Let me see it, I just dote on 
 cats. 
 
 Betty, {hoiking appealingly at Miles) Why, er — 
 er — 
 
 Miles, {moping brow) Why — er — Dick — I can't 
 find him, been looking all over. 
 
 Betty. Yes, he's disappeared. 
 
 Marie. Oh, let me look. (Miles and Betty look 
 amazed) I'll find him if he's in the house. {Exit 
 R. u. E.) 
 
 Miles, {sinking ifito chair at desk with a groan) 
 " If he's in the house ? " Eh ? You bet she'll find 
 him. They're both looking. 
 
 Betty. How can we find a cat that doesn't exist ? 
 
 Miles, {walking to fire) Him, I said, not the cat, 
 Dick. (Betty makes a desperate gesture) 
 
 Miles, {looking at sign on mantei) Merry Christ- 
 mas. There's a hollow mockery all right. Merry 
 Christmas. 
 
 Betty. We must go after Marie. If she sees Dick, 
 all will be lost. 
 
 Miles. And if he is discovered, we are lost. And 
 there's Alice, where is she ? 
 
 Betty. In her room. 
 
 Miles. Let's hope she stays there. 
 
 {Enter Marie r. u. e.) 
 
 Marie. I can't find that cat, either. Are you sure 
 he was in the house ? 
 
 Betty. No — er — well 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 31 
 
 Miles, {firmly) I'm not sure when I saw him 
 last, but you can't lose a yellow 
 
 Betty. {hastily) White, white. {Sits at desk) 
 
 Miles. {grinning feebly) Oh, surely white. 
 {Hastily) I've heard a lot about you. Miss Brooks. 
 
 Marie, {walking to R. u. e.) And I about you 
 from Mrs. Lambert, principally. 
 
 Miles, {sitting on davenport) Then what I've 
 heard is much nicer. 
 
 Marie, {archly) Oh, I don't know about that. 
 {Fulling a suit-case from between the curtains) Why, 
 here's my suit-case. Oh, no, this is not mine, who's 
 is it? 
 
 Miles. Mine. 
 
 Marie, {laughing) Are your initials D. J. ? (Betty 
 leans forward aiid looks troubled) 
 
 Miles. Oh, I — borrowed it. 
 
 Marie. How funny, the initials are the same as 
 Dick's. 
 
 Betty. [ <'^'rprised) DICK'S ? 
 Marie, {after a little pause) Is he here, instead 
 of going to Haven's ? 
 
 Betty. [ ^^'"'^^y '"'■p^^'^'^) HAVEN'S ? 
 
 Marie, {sutprised) Yes, to the house-party. How 
 dear of you to have him come over for me, such a 
 surprise. 
 
 Betty, {rising) Now, Marie, he isn't 
 
 Marie. I know he is, this is his suit-case, I'd know 
 it anywhere. He had it at Narragansett. 
 
 Betty. So he WAS 
 
 Miles, {desperately) He isn't — er — that's only an 
 old suit-case he left here, and I was going to take it 
 with me. 
 
 Marie, {coming to davenport) I never knew you 
 were such friends. Why, he never mentioned you at 
 all. 
 
sj the two dicks. 
 
 Miles. You don't say. That's queer, he and I 
 have been friends for ages. Sorry you stumbled on 
 to the bag; I was going back to the city, but missed 
 my train, clock was wrong. {Rise, and strolls to 
 K. u. E.) 
 
 Betty, {pickvig up hag) Well, you won't use it 
 now, so I'll take it up-stairs again. {Exit L. u. E. with 
 bag. Marie sits ofi davetiporf) 
 
 Dick, {appearing at R. u. E.) I say, old man, I 
 don't see that cat 
 
 Miles, {pushing Dick ii^to curtains) Sh — sh 
 
 {Enter Betty l. u. e., she pauses aghast.) 
 
 Marie, {hoking around) Oh, Betty (Betty 
 
 comes swiftly forward, and tries to hide the right hand 
 door from her vieio by standing in front of her) 
 
 Dick, {in curtains') Oh, I say, Miles, what are you 
 doing ? 
 
 {Enter Alice, l. u. e.) 
 
 Miles. {i?i a fierce whispe?-) S — h— s — h 
 
 (Alice tooks surprised and starts for arch) Why, who's 
 that ? 
 
 Marie, {dodging V^'kit^ by leaning forward) Who's 
 in there ? (Betty tries to keep Alice from advancing 
 and at the same time keep Marie from seeing) 
 
 Dick, {struggling in cui-tains) Let me out ! 
 
 Betty, {in desperation) Oh, look, look ! (Marie 
 and Alice look to l. i e. where she is poi?iiing, and Betty 
 runs to door, pointing) 
 
 Betty. There's that cat, now See! {Mkrie starts 
 forward to look, and Alice follows, saying) What 
 cat? 
 
 Miles, {in a fierce whiipe?-) Now, you do what I 
 tell you. {He pulls coat from rack by door, throivs it 
 over the struggling Dick's head, and runs him out 
 L. u. E.) 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 9t 
 
 Alice, {turning) I don't see any cat. Why, who's 
 that ? {She runs to L. u. e.) 
 
 (Marie also starts fot-ivard in surprise.) 
 
 Betty, {with great apparent frankness, and walking 
 to desk) Oh, a friend of Miles'. 
 
 Alice. (Juming from door) He's just Dick's 
 height, — er 
 
 Marie, {surprised) Dick ? How 
 
 Betty, {hurriedly) Nonsense. 
 
 Alice, {crossing to c.) It looked like Dick, 
 
 Marie, {crossing to left center) How do you know ? 
 {Hastily) What difference does it make ? 
 
 Alice, {sharply) None to you, lots to me. 
 
 Marie, {laughing sarcastically) None to me ? 
 Well, really, this is funny. Why, none to me ? 
 
 Alice. {a7igrily) Funny .'' Why so ? Are you 
 after every man engaged or otherwise ? It is some 
 friend of Miles, not Dick. {To Betty) Is it ? 
 
 Marie, {angrily) The idea ! What do you know 
 
 about Dick, what right have you (Betty tries in 
 
 vain to interrupt) 
 
 Alice, {still more angrily) What right ? Every 
 right, he was mine first, mine before you ever saw him. 
 {Exit L. u. E. with head in air) 
 
 Marie. {Jaking a step after her, and then turning to 
 Betty) I want to know what this means? 
 
 Anna, {from doorway, l. i e.) Dinner is served, 
 madam. 
 
 Betty, {going swiftly to dining-room door) We will 
 talk later, Marie, let us have dinner now. {To Anna) 
 Tell Mr. Lambert, please. {Exit after stepping back to 
 let Marie precede her at L. i E. Exit Anna r. u. e. 
 Re-enter Betty. She turns out lights at table and at desk, 
 and lights the small light on table at back center, and on 
 exit) Shall I ever live to see daylight ? [Exit L. i e.) 
 
 {Bell rings. Efiter Anna from r. u. e. and exit x.. u. e.) 
 
34 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 {Re-enter Anna, shotving in Dickenson Jerome. He 
 wears a big over-coat and a hat, both well covered 
 with sno7(.', and carries a suit-case marked D. J. 
 He sets suit-case down, removes hat, and begins to 
 shake snow from it.) 
 
 D. J. Is Mr. — er — er — in ? 
 
 Anna. Yes, sir, he's in. Do you wish to see him ? 
 
 D. J. I should like to, if he is not too busy. {Exit 
 Anna at right. Dickson goes to Jire and begins to warm 
 his hands) 
 
 {Enter Miles at right.) 
 
 D. 3 . {turning) Mr. — er 
 
 Miles. Lambert. Miles Lambert. 
 
 D. J. Mr. Lambert. Quite so. I trust you will 
 pardon this intrusion, but I have been compelled to 
 stop on account of the storm, and the lights of your 
 house looked pretty good, though I didn't know to 
 whom they belonged till you told me. 
 
 Miles, {coming to c.) Why, that's all right. No 
 one would try to get any further in this storm. 
 
 D. J. Well, I hardly think it will continue all night. 
 
 Miles. Perhaps not, but I think it will. 
 
 D. J. Is that so. What shall I do ? {returns to 
 fire but faces Miles). 
 
 Miles, {looking at him keenly, as though sizing him 
 up) Better stay here. {He walks to desk and sits). 
 
 D. J. That's awfully nice of you, but you don't 
 know who I am. I may be a burglar for all you know. 
 
 Miles, {laughing) I'll risk it ; your appearance is 
 with you. 
 
 D. J. {laughing) Thanks, but I think I can set 
 your fears at rest if you have any. I am on my 
 way to Havens' house-party. Do you know them ? 
 (M.\yKS nods) And here's my invitation. {Takes aft 
 envelope from pocket a?id gives it to Miles ; he returns it 
 after readifig) All right ? 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 35 
 
 Miles. Well, if they know any burglars, I'm not 
 aware of it, so I think your invitation is as good a 
 recommend as I know of. 
 
 D.J. {reiierning it to his pocket) I'm glad you think 
 so, for it would be me for the station all night, for the 
 road is blocked. 
 
 Miles. What's the matter with the train ? 
 
 D. J. {crossing to c. and standing behind table) I 
 missed it. You see it's this way, I live in Pittsburg, 
 and only ran over for this party, and my train being 
 two hours late I missed connections. I thought 1 
 could make it all right though, till it began to snow. 
 
 Miles, {rising) Hard luck. Well, take off your 
 coat and make yourself at home. I'll see my wife and 
 find out what room you can have 
 
 D. J. Now if this is going to inconvenience you 
 
 Miles. Not a bit, we've got lots of room. 
 
 D. J. I'm a thousand times obliged. 
 
 Miles. Don't mention it, glad to do anything for a 
 friend of the Havens anyway. Leave your hat on the 
 table and come and meet Mrs. Lambert. (D. ].puts 
 hat on center table and both start off right) By the way, 
 I don't know your name. 
 
 D. J. {producing a card and handing it to Miles) 
 Dixon Jerome. 
 
 Miles, {taking card and looking at him keenly) 
 Jerome. I know a Jerome mighty well, in fact he's 
 here now. No relation I suppose? 
 
 D. J. Why, I have a 
 
 Miles, {suddenly calling off stage at right) Anna, 
 {to D. J.) There's the maid, she'll know where my 
 wife is. Come on. {Exit both v^.m.y..) {Enter K\aq.^s. 
 l. I. E. She goes to table, sees hat, picks it up, and gives 
 a sudden start) {Enter Miles at r. u. e. and he starts 
 off-L. U.K.) 
 
 Alice, {holding out hat) Who's is this ? 
 
 Miles. I don't know, mine I guess. Where's 
 Betty ; I can't find her. 
 
36 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Alice. Are your initials D. J. ? 
 
 Miles, {raising his eyes to heaven) Oh 1 Well 
 no. 
 
 Alice. {Jurionsiy) Oh, if Dick has been invited 
 here — Isn't this his hat? 
 
 Miles. Er — Where's Betty ? 
 
 Alice. Isti't this his hat ? 
 
 Miles. It is. {Al.lc^R gasps) An old one. 
 
 Alice. Is doesn't look old. 
 
 Miles. No. {catching himself) Oh, but it is. 
 (Miles ivalks to desik.) 
 
 Alice. { following to table) The price mark is still 
 in it. 
 
 Miles, {taking a cigarette from smoking set anil light- 
 ing it to hide his agitation) He — left it here, {he 
 ivalks to fire.) 
 
 Alice, {putting hat on center table) I didn't see 
 this before. 
 
 Miles, {sitting on davenport) I guess you didn't 
 — er Oh, yes you did, you didn't notice it. 
 
 {Enter Betty and Marie, at l. i. e.) (Betty walks 
 to right center Alice atsightofM.AKiY., turns hast- 
 ily and looks out of window.) 
 
 Marie, {going to center table, seeing hat and picking 
 up hat) D. J. ? Who's this D. J. ? Why Betty, you 
 said 
 
 Alice. {7aho has turned at tnetition of initials, comes 
 qtiickly forward, and snatches hat from Marie, and slams 
 it dowfi on table) Oh, never mind. 
 
 Marie, {glaring at her and then turning to Betty) 
 I know this hat, I'd know it anywhere. 
 
 Alice. Why ? 
 
 Marie, {turning to her and speaki?ig in a superior 
 tone) It has hung on our hat-rack often enough. 
 
 Alice. 1 don't believe it. 
 
 Betty. ( steppifig forward) Alice. 
 
 Alice, {defiantly) I don't believe it. 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 37 
 
 Marie. He always wears the same make of hat, 
 always. 
 
 Alice, {cingrily) That, or anything like it, never 
 hung on your hat-rack. 
 
 Betty, [signaling to Miles to agree with her) It's 
 your hat, isn't it Miles ? 
 
 Miles, {puffing at cigarette^ No, it's Dick's. 
 
 Betty. ( crossing to desk and speaking in a horrified 
 tone) MILES I 
 
 Alice and Marie in chorus. (Marie turning to 
 Miles and Alice to Betty) Then he IS here ? {Both 
 girls turn angrily on each other.) 
 
 Miles. I never said so. 
 
 Alice, {to Betty) I know he is here, I must see 
 him. 
 
 Marie, /must see him. 
 
 Alice, {turning to her) I should like to know why 
 you should see him. 
 
 Marie, {loftily) I'm engaged to him. (Miles 
 and Betty looks amazed). 
 
 Alice. WHAT ! 
 
 Marie, {holding out hand) Here's my ring. The 
 engagement is broken 
 
 Alice. Ah 
 
 Marie. But he refused to take back the ring. 
 
 Alice. I was engaged to him myself. 
 
 Marie. I don't believe that. 
 
 Alice, {loftily) I gave my ring back, possibly you 
 have it. {tries to take Marie's hand, but she snatches it 
 away and steps to right c.) 
 
 Marie, {icily) Indeed, I've been engaged to him 
 ever since last August. 
 
 Alice. (/// a tragic tone and turnitig back on audi- 
 ence) Narragansett ! 
 
 Marie. Why, how did you know ? 
 
 Betty. Then you ARE the girl. 
 
 Alice, {turning) I've been engaged to him ever 
 since last January. 
 
38 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Marie. Then he did deceive me. 
 
 Alice, {bitterly) You deceived. I was, you mean, 
 
 Betty, {irossing to where Miles is sitting on daven- 
 port and speaking aside) Oh, do stop It, this is awful. 
 
 Anna, {appearing at l. i. e.) Dinner is cold, I'm 
 afraid, madam ; it has been served some time. {Exit) 
 
 Betty, {starting off l. i. e.) Of course, I'd for- 
 gotten. Come along, dinner will be spoiled, {Takes 
 Alice's ami) 
 
 Betty, {releasing herself^ and beginning to sob) I 
 can't eat a thing. Please excuse me. {Exit l. u. e.) 
 
 Marie, {starting off L, i. e.) I can't believe it. 
 Dick couldn't have done such a thing. {Exit L. i. e.) 
 
 Miles. {rising) I'm starved, it's nearly seven 
 o'clock. 
 
 Betty. Is'nt this awful ? But Miles, you can't 
 come now, you will have to wait and eat afterwards 
 with Dick; he can't be at the table. 
 
 Miles, {with a groan) For the love of Mike ! 
 
 Betty. Dick is a scoundrel. {Exit l. i. e.) 
 
 Miles. {turtmig) I say, Betty, there's another 
 man come. He'll have to eat — {starts to l. i. e. and 
 calls off stage) Betty — Oh, Lord, she's gone. {Returns 
 to table How'U I spring this Jerome of Pittsburg. 
 starting off R. u. E. I didn't even see what he looked 
 like, the light was so low. {Collides with Dick, who is 
 Just entering at R. u. e. 
 
 Dick. Hello 1 
 
 Miles. Hello 1 
 
 Dick, {co^nitig to center) Say, far be it from me 
 to seem nosey, but when do you people eat ? I'm 
 starved. 
 
 Miles. We don't eat. 
 
 Dick. Quit your fooling. Where's Mrs Lambert ? 
 
 Miles, {thoughtlessly) In the dining-room — 
 
 Dick, {starting l. i.e.) I ///f //^/// 1 smelled dinner. 
 
 Miles, {catchiiig his arm) Don't go in there. 
 
 Dick, {surprised) Why not ? 
 
 il 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 39 
 
 Miles. There's, there's, oh, well, don't go, that's 
 all. 
 
 Dick. Now look here, what earthly harm will it do } 
 
 Miles. Never mind. Take my advice, and don't 
 go. (Miles tvalks to desk) 
 
 Dick, (gloomily) There doesn't seem to be any- 
 thing else around here to take. But say, I guess I've 
 known you long enough to tell you things straight — 
 
 Miles, {turning) Well — ? 
 
 Dick. (Going to fire) Cut out the booze. 
 
 Miles. BOOZE ? 
 
 Dick. Sure, you don't know what you ARE doing. 
 Why if Mrs. Lam 
 
 Miles, (indignantly) Haven't had a drop. 
 
 Dick. — Oh, come on. 
 
 Miles. Not a drop. 
 
 Dick. Well, you act mighty queer. Why can't I 
 go in there then ? 
 
 Miles, (desperately) Because there is something 
 in there, you must not see. 
 
 Dick, (surprised) Something I must not see. 
 What is it ? (as though an idea strikes him) A present ? 
 
 Miles, (seizing at the idea) Yes, that's it. 
 
 Dick, (patting him on the back) Oh, I say, old pal, 
 that's awfully nice of you. I've got a little something 
 for you in my bag, want it now .-• 
 
 Miles. Let's wait till morning. You'll get yours 
 then, (aside) If not sooner. 
 
 Dick. All right, but when do we eat ? 
 
 Miles, (sitting at right of table) When you make 
 up this quarrel with Alice. 
 
 Dick, (coming eagerly to table) Is she here .'' 
 
 Miles. I didn't say so. You've acted like a chump. 
 
 Dick, (sitting on table) I did ? 
 
 Miles. Trying to play the gay Lothario like that 
 and treating a girl like Alice in that fashion. 
 
 Dick, (standing) Good Lord, man, you aren't 
 going to take her side too, are you ? I'm miserable 
 enough without your going back on me too. 
 
40 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Miles. But this outrageous flirtation at Narra- 
 gansett 
 
 Dick. Are you going to start that, too ? I tell you, 
 I've never been there. 
 
 Miles. That's getting old. 
 
 Dick, [walking to chest, and turning on Miles) I 
 tell you I've never been there, and I've told Alice so, 
 till I'm almost a gibbering idiot. 
 
 Miles. Never been there, eh ? 
 
 Dick, [sitting down hard on bench) NO ! 
 
 Miles, {soothingly) Well, if you say so, but how 
 about this picture Betty tells me Alice found ? 
 
 Dick. That was sent to me. (Miles looks unbeliev- 
 i)i^) That's straight, my brother sent me that picture 
 of Miss Brooks, I think that's her name, she's his girl. 
 
 Miles. That so ? Didn't know you even had a 
 brother. 
 
 Dick, {coining to table) Sure you did, only he 
 hasn't been around here for years, my aunt took a 
 great fn'icy to him, sent him to preparatory school and 
 to college in her home town, and now he's engaged, 
 and this is the girl. Alice saw the picture he sent for 
 my inspection, that, combined with some fool story she 
 believed about someone seeing me at the Pier, cooked 
 my little goose. {Sits at left of table) 
 
 Miles. Fool thing to do, go sending pictures 
 around that way. 
 
 Dick. Why ? I sent Alice's to my brother, too. 
 
 Miles. It makes lots of trouble 
 
 Dick. It did for me, all right. 
 
 Miles, {rising) Let's go and smoke, dinner will 
 be ready soon. 
 
 Dick, {rising) Hope so ; I'm famished. 
 
 Miles. Well, it isn't ready yet. {A clatter of dishes 
 is heard from L. i E.) 
 
 Dick, {pajising to listen) It sounds suspicious. 
 
 Miles, {taking his arm) Oh, come on. {He drops 
 Dick's arm and exits to R. u. e. after turning out lamp") 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 41 
 
 Dick, {sniffing air) I smell that dinner. {Starts 
 off right, and 071 exit) He acts sober enough at times, 
 and then 
 
 {Enter Kiazy. from L. i E. crying. She siftks into daven- 
 port, and buries face Ofi arm of it. 
 
 {Enter Dixon Jerome//'-^;;; l. u. e.) 
 
 D. J. {crosses to desk) I wonder what time they 
 dine here ? {Sees Alice) She looks familiar, where 
 have I seen her before ? {Steps forward to c.) I beg 
 your pardon 
 
 Alice, {springing to her feet, arid mistaking him for 
 Dick) DICK — er Mr. Jerome. 
 
 D.J. {greatly astonished) DICIv? — er — at your 
 service. 
 
 Alice, {angrily) How dare you intrude yourself 
 on me in this manner. {As D. J. tries to speak) 
 Don't speak to me. {Advances and D. J. retreats 
 behind table) It is bad enough that through this mis- 
 erable schemes of my so-called " friends " I am com- 
 pelled to be under the same roof with you. 
 
 D. J. {aside) The woman's crazy. {Aloud and 
 stepping forward) I beg your pardon, but 
 
 Alice, {more angrily) Don't you dare to speak to 
 me. Wasn't it what you wanted, to go to your Marie ? 
 You're free, now ^o. {Tur?ts to fire) 
 
 D.J. {aghast) MARIE? 
 
 Alice. Do you still keep up that farce ? 
 
 D. J. I fear you are laboring under a delusion 
 
 Alice. WHXT ! 
 
 D. J. {firmly) For I have not the pleasure of 
 your acquaintance. 
 
 Alice, {sinking on davenport with a moan) Oh, 
 oh, this is the worst of all ! 
 
 D. J. {coming forward) Possibly you have mis- 
 taken me for some one ? 
 
 Alice, {rising and dashing the teais from her eyis) 
 
42 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 MISTAKEN ? Never 1 Do you think I wouldn't 
 know you! (D. J. looks more astonished) Oh I I 
 thought you were at least a gentleman, but now, even 
 that is denied me. After all that has gone before, our 
 . engagement 
 
 D.J. {staggering back) WHAT? 
 
 Alice. You even refuse to recognize me. Mis- 
 taken ! But don't trouble yourself, I have as completely 
 forgotten you, as you pretend to have forgotten me. 
 Go to your Marie, she's here, go to her 
 
 D. J. {coming fortvard) Marie here ? Not Marie 
 Brooks 1 
 
 Alice. Oh, why pretend, you know she is here. 
 
 D. J. But she was to go to Havens'. 
 
 {Enter Miles and Betty, l. u. e. They pause, horrified, 
 and Miles comes to center, Betty stands Jiear table 
 at back.) 
 
 Miles. So you did meet. 
 
 Alice, {turning passionately on Betty) I warned 
 you not to try this. I'll never forgive you, never. 
 Just a scheme, a miserable scheme. You knew he was 
 coming, and you invited her here on purpose. I hate 
 you, all of you. {Exit swiftly at l. u. e.) 
 
 D. J. The lady is a trifle upset. 
 
 Betty, {turning on him) You're a perfect brute, 
 Dick Jerome. 
 
 D. J. {retreating to desk) Are you Mrs. Lambert ? 
 
 Miles, {astonished) WHAT! 
 
 Betty, {unheeding) You haven't common polite- 
 ness. {Cross to chest) 
 
 D. J. {at R. u. e.) But 
 
 Betty, {looking off l. u. e.) Here comes Marie. 
 Now we'll see what you have to say. 
 
 D. J. Marie who ? 
 
 Betty. Can you face both these girls? 
 
 D. J. Not another as crazy as the last one. {Exit 
 R. u. E. hurriedly) 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 43 
 
 {Enter Marie l. u. e. She starts for r. u. e.) 
 
 Marie. Why, who was that ? 
 
 Miles, {barring the 7vay) Why — er 
 
 Betty, {taking her arm) Come and see the neck- 
 lace I just got 
 
 Marie. But who went out 
 
 Betty, {pulling her to l. u. e.) Miles ju^ gave it 
 to me. Matrix, all set with 
 
 Marie. Matrix ? My dear, how sweet, let me see 
 it. {Exit Betty and Marie l. u. e.) 
 
 Miles. By Jove, Dick acted queer. I don't make 
 him out. Tried to make out he didn't know Betty. 
 {Crossing to r. u. e.) And why does he persist, even 
 to me, in that story about not having been at Narra- 
 gansett. {On exit) Wonder where the new arrival is ? 
 
 {Enter Marie hurriedly from R. u. E., as though she ex- 
 pected to find some one there. On finding the room 
 empty, she looks disappointed and sits on davenport?) 
 
 {Enter Dick, r. u. e. He advances to center of room, 
 sees Marie, and starts out hurriedly l. u. e.) 
 
 Dick. Ye gods I If there isn't Marie Brooks ! If 
 Alice finds out she was here, I'll never be able to make 
 her believe me. 
 
 (Marie turns, sees him as he exits, and runs after him to 
 r. u. e.) 
 
 Marie. Why, that's Dick ! Dick, Dick, It's Marie. 
 
 {Enter Betty l. u. e.) 
 
 Marie. {turni?ig) Mrs. Lambert — 
 
 Betty, {crossing to fire) Yes? 
 
 Marie, {corning to c. and speaking in a freezing tont) 
 I know, that after the way I have taken advantage of 
 your hospitality, I am scarcely in a position to say 
 much, still less to take exception to your choice of 
 guests. 
 
44 . THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Betty. I don't understand. 
 
 Marie. Will you tell me why my fiance was in- 
 vited here and then the knowledge of his presence in 
 the house kept from me .'' 
 
 Betty. Your fiance ? 
 
 Marie. I should have said my former fiance, it is 
 true, but since the breach between us is unknown to 
 anyone except you, he stands to out-siders as such, 
 and I expected to meet him at the Havens'. 
 
 Betty, {sitting on davenport) He doesn't know 
 them. 
 
 Marie. Oh, indeed. How is it then, that I was 
 invited on his invitation, because he wanted me to be 
 there, and asked Mrs. Havens for it. 
 
 Betty. Why, when did he meet them ? 
 
 Marie. At Narragansett. They left before I came, 
 so I didn't meet them. 
 
 Betty. At the Pier. So he was there ? 
 
 Marie. " Was there " .-' Certainly. I became en- 
 gaged to him. I was so anxious to go to this little 
 party, for I hoped we would adjust our differences 
 then. It is too late now, of course. Why was he 
 invited here ? 
 
 Betty, {coldly a?td ivalking to table) Well, you 
 really have no right to question my choice of guests as 
 I believe you said, but I will tell you. He was asked 
 down for Alice. (Marie looks horrified) I asked her 
 down, and Mr. Lambert, not knowing that she and 
 Dick had quarreled, invited Dick. 
 
 Marie. Do you believe her story that she is, or 
 was engaged to him ? 
 
 Betty. Believe it? It was announced in October. 
 
 Marie. Oh, this is awful, {sinks into chair at 
 right of table) {fiercely) Do you think I will let her 
 have him ? 
 
 Betty, {walking to desk) Perhaps you can't help 
 yourself, your's was a summer flirtation, you know. 
 
 Marie, {furiously) This is unpardonable {starts 
 
 I 
 
 II 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 4B 
 
 offi.. U. E.) Rest assured, if I had any way of getting 
 to the Havens', I would not stay here another minute. 
 
 Betty, {starting after her) I am very sorry. No, 
 wait. {M.\K\¥. pauses) You cannot with any justice, 
 blame me, for 1 knew nothing of any claim you might 
 have on him, and naturally, Alice is very bitter toward 
 you, since she thinks you were the cause of all the 
 trouble. 
 
 Marie. I ? She, you mean. I quarreled with 
 Dick on account of her. (Betty looks more surprised 
 and tiviibled) Flirtation, indeed. Her's was the flir- 
 tation, and he had her picture — {Exit to L. u. e. crying) 
 
 {Enter Miles at r. u. e.) 
 
 Betty, {runnijig to him and seizing his arm) Miles, 
 I'm nearly crazy, why Marie — 
 
 Miles. I don't want to hear anything about Marie, 
 come and meet a new arrival. 
 
 Betty. An arrival ? Who ? 
 
 Miles. He was on his way to Havens' — 
 
 Betty. Havens'—? 
 
 Miles, {grinning) Yes, we have most of their 
 party, it seems, and he couldn't go any further, on 
 account of the snow ; missed his train. 
 
 Betty, {coming to center) So he stopped here ? 
 
 Miles. Yes, but he's all right, I saw the invitation 
 the Havens' sent to him. Can't I have him and Dick 
 go into dinner, I'm nearly dead. 
 
 Betty, {turning out lights on table and at desk) 
 Yes, let me meet him, and then you can have dinner. 
 
 Miles, {leading her oJf-R. u. e.) He's in the den. 
 {Exit both.) 
 
 {Enter Marie l. u. e.) 
 
 Marie, (callitig Mrs. Lambert) Oh, she's gone. 
 (Sits disconsolately on davenport) 
 
 {Enter Dixon at l. u. e. He stumbles over rug.) 
 Marie, {starting) Who's there ? 
 
46 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Dixon, {recovering /limse/f, and comhig forward) 
 MARIE. 
 
 Marie, {sprmging to her feet) DICK. 
 
 D. T. {trying to embrace her) My darling, 
 
 Marie, (stepping back) Don't you touch me. Why 
 are you here instead of at the Havens'? 
 
 D. J. My train from Pittsburg was late, so I missed 
 connections, and had to drive. 
 
 Marie, {crossing to center behind table) Why, so 
 did I, 
 
 D, J. {following) Lambert kindly took me, and I 
 was going early in the morning, 
 
 Marie, {crossing to desk) So was I, (D, ']. follows 
 and again tries to embrace her) No, I want you to ex- 
 plain about this Alice. 
 
 D, J. Who's Alice — ? (Marie looks astonished) 
 What, that girl I just saw? I never saw her before, 
 but she seems to think she knows me, 
 
 Marie {crossing to cefiternear footlights) You never 
 saw her before ? How about, that picture you had in 
 your pocket ? It is the same girl, and — 
 
 D. J, {following to center) Will you let me tell 
 you, what you would not give me a chance to explain 
 before, that my brother here in New York sent me 
 that picture, she's his girl. 
 
 Marie, {turning) But she says she's engaged to — 
 
 D. J. {taking her in his arms) I don't care what 
 anyone says, I've got you back, haven't I ? 
 
 Marie, {kissing hi??i) Yes. {Enter Alice frojn 
 L, U. E. She pauses horrifed and then comes swiftly to 
 center) So, I've caught you. Quite like Narragansett. 
 Now Dick Jerome, can you explain this ? 
 
 D, J, {releasing Marie) What explanation does it 
 need ? This lady is my promised wife. (Alice covers 
 her face zvith her hands) 
 
 Marie, {stepping forward) Do you still claim 
 him ? (D. J. looks astonished ) 
 
 Alice, {furiously) No indeed, but {To D. J.) 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 47 
 
 I'll take my letters, please, and my picture, and the 
 cigarette case 1 gave you. 
 
 Marie, {turning to Dixon, and holding out hand) 
 What does she mean, Dick? 
 
 D. J. I don't know, I never saw her before to-night. 
 
 Alice, {furious) Do you think she will believe a 
 tale like that ? 
 
 Marie. So he has had letters and presents from 
 you has he ? 
 
 Alice. Certainly, and I will show you some he 
 wrote to me. I want my letters back. 
 
 Marie, {wearily) Take him with them. (7<7 D. J.) 
 Take your ring, Mr. Jerome. 
 
 D.J. {refusing it) Marie, please listen to me, there 
 is some mistake. I don't even know this young lady. 
 
 Alice, {retreating to table) Oh, oh — 
 
 Marie, {angrily) It is a little late for me to be- 
 lieve that. Take your ring. {He does so) 
 
 (Enter Miles at r. u. e.) 
 
 Miles. Hello, I thought you promised me you 
 wouldn't try to see the girl you thought was here ? 
 
 D. J. I gave you no such promise. (Marie crosses 
 to desk, and Alice tofre) 
 
 Miles. Oh, come on, now. You're in a nice fix, 
 Dick. What are you going to do about it ? 
 
 D. J. (wearily) Nothing. (Angrily) I can't make 
 anyone believe a word I say, and what's more, you call 
 me Dick, on darn short acquaintance. (Exit to R. u. E.) 
 
 Miles, (backing up to L. u. e. door) Short acquain- 
 tance ? He's crazy ! 
 
 (Enter Dick l. u. e., he runs into Miles.) 
 
 Miles, (turning and seizing Jiim by the arm, and 
 dragging him info room) That's right, come back to 
 face it. 
 
 Dick, (surptised) Face what ? 
 
 Miles, (marching him to center of stage) You've 
 
48 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 got to explain this, you can't fool with these girls any 
 longer. 
 
 Dick. What's up ? 
 
 Miles. Are you crazy ? 
 
 Dick. Well, I guess I'm not. 
 
 Miles. I believe you are. First you say you are 
 engaged to one girl 
 
 Dick, {seei/ig Alice) Why, Alice, are you here ? 
 {Steps forivard ) 
 
 Alice. How dare you speak to me now ? 
 
 Dick, {sadlx) Can't you get over that fool picture 
 afifair? 
 
 Marie. My picture, a fool picture ? 
 
 Dick. Everyone hopping on me. 
 
 Alice. I could have forgiven that, but this last is 
 too much. You say you are engaged to her, there she 
 is, take her. 
 
 Dick, {aghast) Take her, engaged to her ? 
 
 Alice. Take her ! 
 
 Dick. But, I never met her. 
 
 Miles. ) 
 
 Alice. CwHAT! 
 
 Marie. ) 
 
 Dick. I don't even know her, 
 
 Alice. And not five minutes ago I found her in 
 your arms. 
 
 Dick, {staggering back) In my arms ? Well, I 
 guess not. 
 
 Marie {coming to center) This is awful ! Where 
 is the ring I just gave you ? 
 
 Dick, {more and more astonished) What I am 
 into ? You didn't give me any ring. 
 
 Alice, {coming forward) I i'rt'?^' her give it to you. 
 
 Dick. You did not, the only ring I have is the one 
 you gave back to me after we had that quarrel. 
 
 Marie. And you just insisted that she had mis- 
 taken you for someone else, and you made it all up 
 with me. 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 49 
 
 Dick, i never did ? I tell you, I nevef met you 
 before. Alice, dear, {sle/>s to her) please believe me, 
 I never saw this girl before except in a picture. 
 
 Alice. So at last you admit the picture ; at last ! 
 The picture taken on the rock. 
 
 Dick. What rock? 
 
 Alice. At the Pier. 
 
 Dick. 1 tell you, I've never been there. 
 
 Miles, (turning to zvindow and back again) And 
 that's the one story he sticks to. 
 
 Marie, {cofning forward) But, you met me there. 
 (Dick looks staggered) 
 
 Alice. What monsters men are. First, you deny 
 knowing her, just now you refused to recognize me. I 
 find her in your arms, now you say you don't know 
 her. Oh, what have I done to be treated so ? {Exit 
 l. u. e.) 
 
 Miles. By Jove ! (Dick runs to l. u. e. calling, 
 " Alice ") 
 
 Marie, {coming to center) Dick, Dick! {She sinks 
 071 chest) 
 
 Dick, {after a look at Marie, exits at L. u. e. calling) 
 Alice ! 
 
 {Enter Dixon, r. u. e. jvearing a coat and carrying a 
 suit-case and hat.) 
 
 D. J. If you don't mind, I will try to reach Havens' 
 to-night, I cannot trespass on your hospitality any 
 longer. 
 
 (Marie, lookifig greatly surprised, rises and Miles walks 
 to him). 
 
 {Enter Betty from L. i e.) 
 
 Betty. Why, you aren't going, are you, Dick ? 
 
 D. J. Why,— er 
 
 Marie, {coming to fire, and speaking in a tone of 
 surprise) Dick ? 
 
50 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 D. J. Er — , yes, Mrs. Lambert, — er — you are Mrs. 
 Lambert ? 
 
 Miles, {surprised) Mrs. Lambert ? (Betty, /'// a 
 tone of disgust) Mrs. Lambert ! 
 
 D. J. Things have arisen that make it impossible 
 for me to remain. 
 
 Miles. You must have clone a Marathon around 
 those doors to get back so quickly. 
 
 D. J. {surprised) Quickly? Why, I've been up in 
 my room packing for the last ten minutes. 
 
 Marie, {coming forward 7vith clasped hands) He's 
 lost his mind. 
 
 Miles. Can't you tell the truth at all ? 
 
 D. J. {angril}) What ! 1 
 
 Miles. That's what. ( 
 
 Betty. What has he done ? 
 
 Marie. He said he didn't know me, and then he 
 said he didn't know Alice. 
 
 Betty, {surprised) Didn't know Alice ! 
 
 D. J. Marie, I have not denied knowing you. 
 There is some mistake. I have told nothing but the 
 truth, and some time you will know it. When that 
 time comes, remember I shall always be waiting for 
 you. {Exit to L. u. e. leaving his bag.) 
 
 Alice, {entering from R. u. E.) Oh, he's going, 
 Dick's going. 
 
 Betty. What else can he do ? 
 
 Alice. I'd forgive him even now, if he'd only tell 
 the truth. 
 
 Miles. He's gone dippy, and can't. 
 
 {Enter Dick at R. U. e. wearing a coat and carrying a 
 suit-case and hat.) 
 
 All. Back again ? 
 
 Dick, {ynuch surprised) AGAIN! Well yes, but 
 now I'm going for good. {Steps to center) Alice, 
 {All look astonished) some time you will find out that 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 51 
 
 I have spoken the truth, and when that time conies, 
 remember, I shall always be waiting, and willing to 
 forgive you. 
 
 {^Everyone looks amazed.') 
 
 Marie. You just told /«<?, you'd be waiting for me, 
 when /found out the truth. 
 
 Dick. Why I never did. 
 
 Miles a«^I5ETTY. We just heard you say so. 
 
 Dick. You're all crazy, I did not. 
 
 All. you DID. (Dick begijis to protest., and they 
 to insist.) (Enter Dixon from L. u. e.) Pardon me, I 
 left my bag. 
 
 Alice. Why, who are you ? 
 
 Marie. Who are you ? 
 
 Betty. Who is this man ? 
 
 Miles, (taking a look) By Jove I've forgotten all 
 about him, that's the arrival I told you of. 
 
 Dick, (embracing!).].) Why it's old Dick. When 
 did you come ? 
 
 Betty, (at desk) Old Dick ? 
 
 Miles. Do you know him ? 
 
 Dick. Know him, well rather ; he's my brother. 
 
 Miles and Betty. Your brother? 
 
 Marie, (faintly, and coming to center table) They're 
 just alike. Dick. 
 
 Dixon, (coming for^uard) Yes Marie. 
 
 Alice, (coming forrvard) Oh, you know her now. 
 
 Dick, (cotning forward) ALICE. 
 
 Alice. Why, why, which is MY Dick? (She turns 
 to Dixon.) 
 
 Dick, (overjoyed) No, /';« your Dick, Alice. 
 
 Miles, {to Dixon) Explain this will you ? 
 
 D. J. (indicating Dick) My twin brother. 
 
 Dick. (same biisiness) My twin brother, from 
 Pittsburg. 
 
 Marie and Alice. Pittsburg. 
 
52 
 
 THE TWO DICKS. 
 
 Miles and Betty. Twins. 
 
 Dick. I'm from New York 
 
 Dixon. And I'm from Pittsburg. 
 
 Miles. I see it now, no wonder we were mistaken. 
 
 Dick. Am I your Dick again, Alice ? 
 
 Alice, {holding him ojf) That picture of Marie. 
 
 Dick. My brother sent it to me. 
 
 Betty, {stepping to center) And Narragansett 
 
 Dick, {emphatically') I wasn't there. 
 
 Dixon, {stepping to M.kk\^ at desk) No, /was at 
 Narragansett, and I met Marie there. 
 
 Alice, {joyfully) Oh, Dick, you were telling the 
 truth after all. {He takes her in his arms.) 
 
 Marie, {turnijig to Dixon) And so were you. 
 
 D. J. {taking ringfi-om pocket and putting it on her 
 finger) Here's your ring. {He embraces her.) 
 
 Marie. The one I asked you for, Mr. Jerome. 
 {to Dick.) {as Dixon again embraces her) Oh, I'm 
 so happy. 
 
 Miles. {ei7ibracing Betty at center behind table) 
 Let's get in the swim. ( The clock strikes.) 
 
 Betty. Twelve o'clock. People, it's Christmas I 
 
 Marie, {advancing to center, Alice meeting her) A 
 Merry Christmas, Alice dear. 
 
 Alice, {hissing her) You Darling I 
 
 {Every one shakes hands and start a general congratiila- 
 tiofi of each other.) 
 
 \ 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
 NOTE. The part of Dixon may be played up to 
 almost the last, by the man playing Dick. This was 
 done in the very successful production of the play this 
 winter by a Dramatic Club, and this eliminates the 
 trouble of having the two men so absolutely alike, as 
 the man entering at the last may be sufficiently alike to 
 deceive, for the short period left. In this case, some 
 
THE TWO DICKS. 68 
 
 one must be stationed at L. u. e. and R. u. E. the one 
 at L. u. E. to help him with his coat, and the one at 
 R. u. E. to hand him the suit-case and hat, when he 
 enters as Dixon. 
 
 If two men phiy the parts, it is obvious that they 
 must be very much ahke, but as this is so often difficult 
 the one man is suggested. 
 
 At the recent production of this play, it was a most 
 pronounced success, and the audience was in roars of 
 laughter from curtain to curtain. 
 
 Care must be taken to lower the lights when directed, 
 and the snow carefully manipulated, though the snow 
 can and was eliminated without spoiling the effect. 
 
 The main point to be observed by actors in this 
 play, is swift action, quick entrances, quick exits, and 
 the Dicks must be particularly careful not to be tardy 
 on their entrances, if two take the parts, and if one 
 man plays both, he must make the entrances in the 
 shortest possible time, as this alone was one of the big 
 hits, his remarkably quick exits as one Dick, and quick 
 entrance at the other side as the other Dick. 
 
■rtrST PVBLIBBBB 
 
 What Happened to Jones 
 
 An Original Farce in Three Acts 
 By GEORGE H. BROADHURST 
 
 CAST OF CHARACTERS 
 
 JONES, icA(? travels for a hymn-hook house 
 
 EBENEZER GOODLY, a professor of anatomy 
 
 ANTONY GOODLY, D.D., Bishop of Ballarat 
 
 RICHARD HEATHERLY, engaged to Marjorie 
 
 THOMAS HOLDER, a policeman 
 
 WILLIAM BIGBEE, an inmate of the Sanitarium 
 
 HENRY PULLER, superintendent of the Sanitarium 
 
 MRS. GOODLY, Bbenezer's wife 
 
 CISSY, Bbenezer's ward 
 
 MARJORIE, ) 
 
 MINERVA ) ^^^^^^^'>''^ daughters 
 
 ALVINA STARLIGHT, Mr. Qoodly's sister 
 HELMA, a servant 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 
 
 ACT 1, — Handsomely furnished room in home of 
 
 Ebenezer Goodly. 
 ACT 2.— The same. 
 ACT 3.— The same. 
 
 This is the jolliest sort of a farce, clean and sparkling all the way 
 through. A professor of anatomy is lured to a prize fight and the 
 police make a raid on the "mill." Tlie professor escapes to his 
 home, followed by Jones, a traveling salesman, who sells hymn 
 books when he can and playing cards when he cannot. The police 
 are on the trail, so Jones disguises himself by putting on a Bishop's 
 garb, and a lot of funny complications ensue. The other funmakers 
 are aided not a little by an escaped lunatic. This celebrated farce 
 has been a tremendous success for years on the professional stage and 
 is now published for the first time. 
 
 PRICE, SO CENTS 
 
JUST PPBLISHED 
 
 The Great Successful College Play Entitled 
 
 CUPID AT VASSAR 
 
 A COMEDY DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS 
 
 By OWEN DAVIS 
 
 AUTHOR OF "AT YALE" 
 
 CAST OF CHARACTERS 
 
 ToHij WiLLETT A Young Architect. 
 
 Amos North Of North & Son, Bankers. 
 
 Shiny A Lazy Darkey. 
 
 Hank Gubbin The Hired Man. 
 
 Mrs. Newton Of Great Falls, Vermont. 
 
 Kate Her Daughter. 
 
 Wanda Kate's Half-sister. 
 
 Miss Page 
 
 Sally Webb 
 
 Matty Hart 
 
 Alice Worth 
 
 Patty Snow 
 
 Helen Conway 
 
 As many more college girls as are desired. 
 
 SYNOPSIS 
 Act I 
 Scene, sitting-room of Kate's home in Vermont. (At the Old 
 Home.) 
 
 Act II 
 Scene, Kate's room, in a senior double. (At Vassar.) 
 
 Act III 
 Scene, same set as Act I. with snow and winter backing and 
 Christmas tree, etc. (Vacation Time.) 
 
 Act IV 
 
 Scene, college campus at Vassar. (Graduation Day. The Daisy 
 Chain.) 
 
 This comedy is eminently suited to girls' schools and colleges, as it 
 can be played by all females. There are only four male char- 
 acters, two of which are eccentric parts, and all the male parts can 
 be easily dressed by girls. The play has all college surroundings, 
 and the last act contains the famous daisy chain which is so popular 
 at girls' colleges. 
 
 price; 2d C£NTS 
 
K*^ SEND FOR A NEW DESCRIPTIVE CATALOQUE. 
 
 vol.. XLI. 
 I Tilt; I'ir.'ite's Leu-icy 
 i 'I lie C'liui-i ual Buruer 
 I A.lelK'tlia 
 t f-dii.r V;iliente 
 i Korest Rose 
 i liuke's Daughter 
 I Camilla's Husb? ^ 
 j Pure iJold 
 
 VUL. XLir. 
 » Ticket i.l Le;ive Man 
 I Ko.il% KeveiiKC 
 I U'Neil Hie tileat 
 ■llaiKly ,\i„l,v 
 ( I'iiii e ,.1 iht Isles 
 I I'alielM.ii 
 I Lillle li.treloot 
 i Wild li-.ill (iirl 
 
 VUL. XLIII. 
 t Pearl ol ^avo.v 
 >' I )ead Heart 
 
 I Ten Nights in a Bar-room 
 I Dumb Boyof Maiu-hester 
 Bel|ihegof theMounteb'k 
 f Criuket on the Hearth 
 1 I'rinter's Devil 
 I .Meg's DiversioQ 
 
 (Frenches Standard Drama Continued /rom 2d page of Cover.) 
 
 VOL. XLIV 
 
 345 Drunkiird's Doom 
 
 346 Chimney Corner 
 
 JJ7 Fifteen Vearsofa Drunk 
 348 No Tborou(;hlare I aril'i 
 34a Peep O' D.iy LLife 
 
 360 Everybody's Friend 
 
 361 Urn. Grant 
 
 36".^ Kathleen Mavourneeu 
 
 VOL. XLV. 
 363 Nick Whiffles 
 
 354 Fruits of the Wine Cup 
 36o Urunkard's Warning 
 
 356 Temperance Doctor 
 
 357 Aunt Din.-lh 
 
 355 Widow Freeheart 
 
 359 Frou Frou 
 
 360 Long Strike 
 
 VOL. XLVI. 
 
 361 Larcers 
 36'i Lu' ille 
 
 363 Randall's Thumb 
 
 364 Wicked World 
 
 365 Two Orphans 
 
 366 Colleen Bawn 
 
 367 'Twixt A.ie and Crown 
 
 368 Lady Clancarthy 
 
 VUL. XLVII. 
 
 369 Saratoga 
 
 370 Never Too Late to Mem 
 311 Lily of France 
 
 Led Astray 
 
 373 He 
 
 ify 
 
 374 Unequal Match 
 
 .i7o May or Dolly's Delusion 
 
 .{76 Allatoona 
 
 VOL. XLVIII. 
 377 Enoch Arden 
 37!S Under the (ias Light 
 
 379 Daniel Rochat 
 
 380 Caste 
 
 381 School 
 3S2 Home 
 
 383 David Garrlck 
 
 384 Ours 
 
 VOL. XLIX. 
 S85 Social Glas! 
 386 Daniel Druca 
 38" Two Roses 
 
 388 Adrienne 
 
 389 The Bells 
 Uncle 
 
 391 Courtship 
 
 392 Not Such a fool 
 
 VOL. L, 
 
 393 Fine Feathers 
 
 394 Prompter's Box 
 
 395 Iron Master 
 
 396 Engaged 
 
 97 Pygmalion <Jc Galale» 
 398 Leah 
 
 Scrap of Paper 
 4UU Lost in London 
 VOL. LI. 
 
 401 Octoroon 
 
 402 Coni'ederate Spy 
 
 403 Mariner's Return 
 
 404 Ruined by Drink 
 
 405 Dreams 
 
 406 M. P. 
 
 407 War 
 
 408 Birth 
 VOL. LIL 
 
 409 Nightingale 
 
 410 Progress 
 
 411 Plav 
 
 412 Midnight Charge 
 
 413 Confidential Clerk 
 
 414 Snowball 
 
 415 Our Regimen^ 
 
 416 Married for Money 
 ilet in Three Acts 
 
 Guttle & Gulpit 
 
 FRENCH'S INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTED EDITION 
 OF THE WORKS OF THE BEST AUTHORS. 
 
 The following very successful plays have just been issued at 25 cents per copy. 
 
 A PAIR OF SPECTACLES. Comedy i.; 3 Actf 
 by SvDNhV Gkiinov, author of " Sowing the Wind,' 
 Ac. 8 male, 3 female characters. 
 
 An origma! play In 
 luthor of '• Sowing th 
 characters. 
 
 A FOOL'S PARADISE. 
 
 Arts bv SvDNiiV l-iRUNrv, 
 Wind," Ac. 5 male, 4 femal 
 THE SILVER SHIELD. An original comedy in 
 3 Acts by .SvoNRv (iRUNDY, author of "Sowing the 
 Wind," (fee. 5 male, 3 female characters. 
 
 THE GLASS OF FASHION. An original com- 
 edy in 4 Acts by Svi >tv i;ri ■^Dv, author of "Sowing 
 the Wind," &c^ 5 male. 5 female characters. 
 
 Farcical comedy in 8 Acts by J. 
 <viLLE Fenn. 6 male, 4 female 
 
 THE BALLOON. 
 
 H. Darni.kv and M 
 
 characters. 
 MISS CLEOPATRA. Farce in 8 Acts by Akthub 
 
 Shirlkv. 7 male, 3 female char.acters. 
 SIX PEBSONS. Comedy Act by I. Zanowill. 
 
 ale, 1 fe 
 
 cter. 
 
 PASHIONABl E INTELLIGENCE. Comedi- 
 etta iu 1 Act by Percy Fkndall. 1 male, 1 female 
 cha -acter. 
 
 HTOPLAND LEGACY. Comedy in 1 Act by 
 Bramion Thomas, nuthnr of "Charley's Aunt," 
 5 male, 2 female characters. 
 
 Contents of Catalogue which is sent Free. 
 
 Amnteur Drama 
 ( Amateur Operas 
 Artirles Needed by Amateurs 
 Art of Scene Painting 
 Baker's Reading Club 
 Beards. Whiskers, Mustaches, etc. 
 B<mnd Sets of Plavs 
 Buiwer Lytton's Plays 
 Burlesque Dramas 
 Burnt Cork 
 rahnian'sStorv 
 Carnival of Authors 
 Charade Plavs 
 Children's Plays 
 Comic Dramas for Male Characters 
 
 only 
 Costume Books 
 Crape Hair 
 Cumberland Edition 
 Darkey Dramas 
 Dramas for Boys 
 Drawing-room "MonoTogues 
 Elocution, Reciters and Speakers 
 biopian Dra^nas 
 
 Evening's Enterlamment 
 Fairy and Home 'r'lays 
 French's Costumes 
 French's Editions 
 French's Italian Operas 
 French's Parlor Comedies 
 French's Standard and Minor 
 French's Standard and Minor! 
 
 bound 
 French's Scenes for Amateurs 
 Frobisher's Popular Recitals 
 Orniid Armv Dramas 
 Ouidi Book's for Anuiteurs 
 Guide to Selecting Playa 
 Hints on Costumes 
 Home Plavs for Ladies 
 Irish Plavs 
 
 ng's Plays 
 " ■ Pla 
 
 Make-Up Book 
 
 Make-Up Box 
 
 Mock Trial 
 
 Mrs. Jarley»s Wiix 'Worka 
 
 New Plays 
 
 New Recitation Books 
 
 Nigger Jokes and Sttnap Speeches 
 
 Parlor Magic 
 
 Parlor Pantomimes 
 
 Pieces of Pleasantry 
 
 Poems for Recitations 
 
 Plays for Mr,. Characters only 
 
 Round Games 
 
 Scenery 
 
 Scriptural and Historical Dramas 
 
 Sensation Dramas 
 
 Se'io-Comic Dramas 
 
 Shadow Pantomimes 
 
 Shakespeare's Plays for Amateurs 
 
 Shakespeare'- Plays 
 
 Stanley's Dwarfs 
 
 Spirit Gum 
 
 Tableaux Vivants 
 
 Talma Actor's Art 
 
 Temperance Plays 
 
 Vocal Music of Shakespeare's Plays 
 
 Webster's Acting Edition 
 
 Wigb, etc. 
 
 (Frenches Minor Drama Continued from 4th page of Cover.) 
 
 P 
 
 VOL. XLI. 
 
 Adventures of a Love 
 oit Child [Letter 
 
 Court Cards 
 oc and Box 
 rtv Winks 
 ■ iiderfn! Woman 
 -ioua Case 
 eedleton's Tail Coat 
 
 VOL. XLTI. 
 
 329 As Like as Two Peas 
 
 330 Presumptive Evidence 
 .331 Happy Band 
 
 332 Pinafore 
 
 333 Mock Trial 
 
 334 Mv Uncle's Will 
 
 335 Happy Cair 
 
 336 My Turn Next 
 
 VOL. XLIII. 
 3.37 Sunset 
 
 .338 For Haifa Million 
 33'.l C ble Car 
 341) Early Bird 
 341 Alumni I'l.ay 
 34-.' Show of Hands 
 
 343 Barhrir-. 
 
 344 Who's Who 
 
 VOL. XLIV. 
 346 Who's To Win Him 
 
 346 Which is Which 
 
 347 Cup of Tea 
 
 345 Sarah's Young Man 
 
 349 Hearts 
 
 360 In Honor Bound [La 
 
 351 Freezing a Mother-ii 
 
 352 My Lord in Livery 
 
 MUEL FRENCH, 28=30 West 38th Street, New York City, 
 
 J. 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRES 
 
 FRENCH'S MIiNOR 
 
 Price 15 Cents each.— Bound Volu 
 
 VOL. I. 
 1 Tk« Irish Aitnrney 
 » Boot. !it tlie Swan 
 8 How to Pay the Rent 
 
 4 The Loan of » Lover 
 
 5 The IJead Shot 
 
 6 His Last *.egs 
 
 7 The InvU.Dle Prince 
 ti The Gol.lun Fanner 
 
 VOL. n. 
 
 » I'rlde of the Market 
 
 10 Used Up 
 
 11 The Irish Tutor 
 
 U The Barrack Room 
 
 13 Luke the La orer 
 
 14 Beauty and the Beast 
 
 15 St. Patrii'k's Eve 
 
 It Captain cif the Watch 
 
 VOL. in. 
 IT The Se.ret [pi 
 
 18 White Horse of the Pep- 
 
 19 The Jacobit* 
 iO The Bottle 
 81 Box and Col 
 »2 Bamhooiling 
 
 58 Widow'e Victim 
 J4 Robert Macair* 
 
 VOL. IV. 
 n Secret Servio* 
 ii Omnibus 
 27 Irish Lion 
 28Maid of CrolssT 
 
 59 The Old Guard 
 
 50 Raising the WinJ 
 M Slasher and Crasher 
 
 32 Naval Cngagenieuts 
 
 VOL. V. 
 
 33 Cocknies in California 
 
 34 Wlio Spvaks First 
 
 35 Bouibastes Furioso 
 »* Macbeth Travestie 
 31 Irish Ambassidor 
 38 Delicate Ground 
 
 3» The Weathercock [Gold 
 
 40 Ail that Glitters li Not 
 
 VOL. VI. 
 
 41 GrImshaM', Bagshavr and 
 
 Bradshaw 
 
 42 Rous{h Diamond 
 13 Bloomer Costume 
 44 Two Bonnycastles 
 a Burn to 'Jood Luck 
 
 It. Kiss in Hie Dark [jnrer 
 47 'Twould Puiiie • Con- 
 t8 Kill or Cure 
 
 VOL. VII. 
 »» Box and Cox Married and 
 ot'St. C-ipid [Settled 
 
 51 Qd-K bed Tom 
 
 52 The Lawyers 
 
 53 Jack Sheppard 
 64 The ' "oodles 
 
 66 The lohoap 
 56 Ladies Beware 
 
 VOL. VIII. 
 
 67 Morning Call 
 
 68 Popping the Questloi 
 
 69 Deaf as a Post 
 80 Ne .» Footman 
 
 61 Pleasant Neighbor 
 ,2 Paddy the Piper 
 fi3 Brian O'Linn 
 
 64 Irish Assuranc« 
 
 VOL. IJl 
 
 65 Temptation 
 
 66 Paddv i^^rey i 
 
 67 Two Gregones I 
 
 68 King Cha-ming 
 ti9 P.i-ca-hon-tas 
 
 70 Clockm.aker's Hat 
 
 71 Married Rake 
 
 72 Lore and Murder 
 
 VOL. X. 
 78 Ireland and A-^erlca 
 
 74 Pretty Piece of Business 
 
 75 IrUh Broom-maker 
 
 16 T» Paris au(^ Back for 
 
 Mre Pounds 
 77 That Blessed Bakf 
 f8 Our Gal 
 7» Sxiiss Cottage 
 ta Young Widow 
 
 VOL. XI. 
 
 81 O'Flannig in and the Fal 
 
 82 Irish Post [ries 
 
 83 My Meighbor's Wife 
 
 84 Irish Tiger 
 
 85 P. P., or Man and TIget 
 
 86 To Oblige Benson 
 
 87 State Secrets 
 
 88 Irish Yankee 
 
 VOL. XII. 
 
 89 A Good Fellow 
 
 90 Cherry and Fair Star 
 
 91 Gale Breezely 
 
 92 Our Jemiiny 
 
 93 Miller's Maid 
 
 94 Awkward Arrival 
 
 95 Crossing the Line 
 
 96 Conjugal Lc=-on 
 
 VOL. XIH. 
 <!7 Mv Wife's Mirror 
 
 98 LiVe in .New York 
 
 99 Middy Ashore 
 
 100 Crown Prince 
 
 101 Two Queens 
 
 102 Thumping Legacy 
 
 103 Qnflnished <2>-ulleman 
 
 104 House Dog 
 
 VOL. XIV. 
 
 105 The Demon Lover 
 
 106 Matrimony 
 
 107 In and Out of Place 
 
 108 I Dine with My Mother 
 1C» Ki-a-wa-tha 
 
 110 Andv Blake 
 
 111 Love in '76 [ties 
 
 112 Romance under Dimcul- 
 V)L. XV. 
 
 )13 One Coat for i! .Suite 
 
 114 A Decided Case 
 
 115 Daughter [norltv 
 
 116 No; or, the Glorl.)us Mi- 
 
 117 Coroner's Inquisition 
 
 118 Love in Humble Life 
 
 119 Family Jars 
 
 120 I'ersonation 
 VOL. XVI. 
 
 121 Children in the Wood 
 
 122 Winning a Husband 
 
 123 Day After the Fair 
 
 124 Ma;k=! Your Wille 
 Rendezvous 
 
 126 My Wife's Husband 
 
 1 27 Monsieur Tonson 
 
 28 lilustrioufi Stranger 
 
 VOL. IVH. 
 129 Mischief-Making [Ml nes 
 liO A Live Woman Id the 
 Ul The Corsair 
 
 132 Shylock 
 
 133 Sp^iiled Child 
 
 134 livil Eye 
 
 136 ••? ^thing to Vurse 
 
 136 Wanted* \Vidov» 
 
 VOL. xvm. 
 
 137 Lottery Ticket 
 
 1 38 Fortune's Froli* 
 
 139 la he Jealousi 
 
 ) '.0 Married Bachelor 
 J41 Husband at Sight 
 
 142 Irishman in London 
 
 143 Anima! Magnetism 
 
 144 Highways and By-W ays 
 
 VOL. XIX. 
 
 145 Columbus 
 
 146 Harlequin Bluebeard 
 
 147 Ladie- at Home 
 
 148 I'henomenoo In a Smock 
 
 Frock 
 
 149 Comedy and Tragedy 
 
 150 Opposite ^'eifjhbors 
 
 151 Dutchman's Ghost 
 
 152 Persecuted Dutchman 
 
 VOL. XX. 
 
 153 jvfusard Ball 
 
 ..5J Great Tragic Revival 
 
 155 High Low Jack Sc Game 
 
 156 A Gentleman from Ire 
 
 157 Tom and Jerry [land 
 168 Village Lawyer 
 ]5p Captain's not A 
 i6*^ Amateurs r-ncl Actors 
 
 VOL. J 
 
 161 Promotion 
 
 162 ^ Fascinati 
 
 163 Mrs. Caudle 
 1()4 Shakespeare's Dream 
 I6i N'-ptune's Defeat 
 
 166 Lady of Bedchamber 
 
 167 Take Care of Littl 
 
 168 Irish Widow [Charley 
 
 VOL. XXIL 
 
 169 Yankee Peddler 
 
 170 Hiram Hireout 
 
 171 Double-Bedded Room 
 
 172 The Dr-ama Derended 
 
 173 Vermont Wool Dealer 
 
 174 Ebeneier Venture [tei 
 
 175 Principles from Charac 
 
 176 Lady of the Lake (Trav; 
 
 VOL. XXIU. 
 
 177 Mad Dogs 
 
 178 Barney the Baron 
 
 179 Swiss Swains 
 
 180 Bachelor's Bedroom 
 
 181 A Roland for an Oliver 
 18t .More Blunders than One 
 183 Dumb Belle 
 l,s4 Llm<Tick boy 
 
 VOL. XXIV. 
 
 185 Nature and Philosophy 
 
 186 Teddy the Tiler 
 
 187 Spectre Bridegroom 
 
 188 \IattBO Falcone 
 
 189 Jenny LInd 
 
 190 Two "Buzzard* 
 91 Happy -\I:«n 
 
 192 Betsy Baker 
 
 VOL. XXV. 
 No. 1 Round the Comet 
 
 194 Teddy Roe 
 
 195 Object of Interest 
 
 196 My Fellow Clerk 
 
 197 Bengal Tiger 
 
 198 Laughing Hyena 
 
 199 The Victor Vanquished 
 
 200 Our Wife 
 VOL. XXVL 
 
 201 My Husband's Mirror 
 
 202 Yankee Land 
 303 Norah Creina 
 204 Good for Nothing 
 206 The First N ight 
 
 206 The Eton Boy 
 
 207 Wandering Minstrel 
 
 208 Wanted, 1000 Milliners 
 VOL. XXVH. 
 
 209 Poor Pilcoddy 
 21C The .Mummy [GIas»; 
 
 211 Don't Forg'^t your Opera 
 
 212 Love In Livery 
 
 213 Anthony and Cleopatra 
 
 214 Trying It On 
 
 215 Stage Struck Yankee 
 
 216 Young Wife & Old Um- 
 brella 
 
 VOL. XXVTTI. 
 21T Crinoline 
 
 218 A Fauilly Falling 
 
 219 Adopted'Chlid 
 
 220 Turned Heads 
 
 221 A Match In the Dark 
 
 222 Adyice to Husbands 
 Siamese Twins 
 
 224 Sent to the Tower 
 VOL. XXIX. 
 ^■25 Somebody Rise 
 2 6 Ladies' Battle 
 
 227 Vrt of Acting 
 
 228 The Lady of the Lions 
 
 229 The Rights "f Man 
 2.30 Mv Husoand's Ghost 
 
 231 TWo Can Play at that 
 Game 
 
 232 Fighting by Proxy 
 VOL. XXX. 
 
 233 Unprotected Female 
 
 234 Pet of the Petticoats 
 2.S5 Forty and Fifty [book 
 236 Who Stole the PockM- 
 ■'37 My Son Diana [sion 
 
 238 Unwarrantable T n t •■ u - 
 
 239 Mr. atfU M-j. White 
 
 240 A Quiet Family 
 
 (French^ ^ Minor Drama CoHiinued on ^d page of Cover.) 
 
 017 401 455 3 
 
 243 Jumho .luni 
 
 244 A Blighted Being 
 
 245 Little Toddlekins 
 24*) A Lovfr by Proxy [Pall 
 
 247 Maid with the Milkinjj 
 
 248 Perplexing Predicament 
 VOL. XXXU. 
 
 249 Dr. DUworth 
 260 Out to Nurse 
 251 A Lucky Hit 
 
 262 The Dowager 
 
 263 Metemora (BurVsqne) 
 
 254 Dreams of Delusion 
 
 255 The Shaker Lovers 
 266 Ticklish Timet 
 
 VOL. xxxiir. 
 
 •67 20 Minutes with a Tiger 
 
 258 Miralda; or, the Justice 
 of Tacon 
 
 259 A Soldier's Courtship 
 
 260 Servants by Legacy 
 
 261 Dying for Love 
 
 262 Alarming Sacrifice 
 
 263 Valet de Sham 
 
 264 Nicholas Mckleby 
 VOL. XXXIV. 
 
 265 The Last of the Pletalls 
 
 266 King Rene's Daughter 
 
 267 Th. Grotto Nymph 
 
 268 A Devilish Good Joke 
 21.9 A Twice Told Tale 
 270 Pas de Fascination 
 
 '71 Revolutionary Soldier 
 
 in A Man Without a Head 
 
 VOL. XXXV. 
 
 273 The Olio, Part 1 
 
 274 Tne Olio, Part t 
 
 275 The Olio, Part 3 [ter 
 
 276 The Trumpeter's Dkc^ 
 
 277 Seeing Warren 
 
 278 Green Mountain Boy 
 
 279 That Nose 
 
 280 Tom Noddy's Secret 
 VOL. XXXVL 
 
 281 Shocking EvenU 
 
 282 A Regular Fix 
 
 283 Dick Turpin 
 
 284 Young Scimp 
 
 285 Young Actrese 
 586 Call at No. 1— T 
 2H7 One Touch of Nator* 
 
 288 Two B'hoys 
 VOL. XXXVII. 
 
 289 All the World's a Stage 
 -'90 Quash, or Nigger Prao* 
 
 291 Turn Him Out [tice 
 
 292 Pretty Girls of Stlllbern 
 
 293 Angel of the Attic 
 
 294 Cl'cumstancesalterCaaee 
 
 295 Kutty O'Sheal 
 
 296 A Supper In Dixie 
 
 VOL. xxxvrii. 
 
 597 Ici on Parle Francals 
 
 298 Who Killed Cock Robto 
 
 299 Declaration of ludepend- 
 
 300 Heads or Tails [enoe 
 
 301 Obstinate Family 
 
 302 My « unt 
 
 303 That Rascal Pat 
 
 304 Don Paddy de Baian 
 VOL. XXXIX. [tore 
 
 306 Too Much for flood Na- 
 
 306 Cure for the FIdgeU 
 
 307 Jack's the Lad 
 
 308 Much Ado AhoutNotMng 
 
 309 Artful Dndff»r 
 
 310 Winning Hazard 
 
 311 Day's Fishing [&e. 
 
 312 Did you ev-r send yonr, 
 VOL. XL. 
 
 313 An Irishman's Maneuver 
 
 314 Cousin Ifannie 
 
 315 'Tis the Darkest Hour be- 
 
 316 Masquerade [fore Dawn 
 
 317 Crowding the Soason 
 
 318 Good Nicht's Rust 
 
 319 Man with the Carpet Bf ' 
 
 320 Terrible Tinker 
 
 SAMUEL FRENOH, 28-30 M est 38th Street. New York City. 
 
 N§w «ndl Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Nailed Free op Request.