PRICE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS PLAYS FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY 15 CENTS EACH F CRANFORD DAMES. 2 Scenes; IJ^ hours 8 GERTRUDE MASON, M.D. 1 Act; 30 minutes 7 CHEERFUL. COMPANION. 1 Act; 25 minutes 2 LESSON IN ELEGANCE. 1 Act; SOmmutes 4 MAIDENS ALL FORLORN. 3 Acts; 1}4 hours 6 MURDER WILL OUT. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 ROMANCE OF PHYLLIS. 3 Acts; IM hours 4 SOCIAL ASPIRATIONS. 1 Act; 45 minutes 5 OUTWITTED. 1 Act; 20 minutes 3 ^VHITE DOVE OF ONEIDA. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 4 SWEET FAMILY. 1 Act; 1 hour 8 BELLES OF BLACKVILLE. 1 Act; 2 hours 30 PRINCESS KIKU. (S5 cents) 13 RAINBOW KIMONA. (35 cents.) 2 Acts; IJ^ hours 9 MERRY OLD MAIDS. (35 cents.) Motion Song 11 PLAYS FOR MALE CHARACTERS ONLY J5 CENTS EACH APRIL FOOLS. 1 Act; 30 minutes 3 BYRD AND HURD. 1 Act; 40 minutes 6 DARKEY WOOD DEALER. 1 Act; 20 minutes 3 WANTED, A M AHATMA. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 HOLY TERROR. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 MANAGER'S TRIALS. 1 Act; 1 hour 9 MEDICA. 1 Act; 35 miimtes 7 NIGGER NIGHT SCHOOL. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SLIM JIM AND THE HOODOO. 1 Act; 30 minutes 5 WANTED. A CONFIDENTIAD CLERK. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SNOBSON'S STAG PARTY*. ';1. J^^^*' ^ '^^^^ ^~ PICKLES AND TICKLES. ' *f Act; 20 minutes C HARVEST STORM. 1 Act; 40 minutes 10 CASE OF HERR BAR ROOMSKI. Mode Trial; 2 hours.... 28 DARKEY BREACH OF PROMISE CASE. Moclc Trial. 22 GREAT LIBEL CASE. Mock Trial; 1 Scene; 2 hours 21 RIDING THE GOAT. Burlesque Initiation; 1 Scene; ll^ hours 24 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y. LATE THIS MOENING A Monologue By NOBLE MAY Copyright, 1912, by Dick & Fitzgerald NEW YORK DICK & FITZGERALD 18 ANN STREET CI.D 30404 LATE THIS MORNING Scene. — A simply furnished office, with desk or table with drawers. ENTER stenographer speaking breathlessly and digging among her waving willow plumes for buried hat pins. Say, gee, I'm awful late this morning. My, but I had to hustle. Ma never called me till ten to seven and maybe I didn't pretty near break my neck trying to get dressed. Say, Mabe, get that hat pin for me like a good kid. I'm scared to death the boss'll see me with my hat on. Not that I care. I could get another job twice as good as this one just as easy as pie. Land sakes, my hair looks fierce. Seemed like I just couldn't get it fixed what with ma being just set and determined that I should eat my break- fast and running round behind me with little pieces of toast and all. Say, do you s'pose I'd have time to beat it down to the cafe and get me something to eat before the boss gets here? I've a good mind to try. My, but don't my hair look fierce? Do you s'pose I'd have time to run out to the dressing room and comb it real good? I just kind of picked it over and I know it looks fierce. Say, now, that's awful sweet of you, but I know it does just the same. Say, Mabe, loan me your chamois, won't you, girlie? I didn't have time to get my face washed real good and I just got to polish it up a little. You ain't got one? Say, I bet you have, only you just don't want to loan it to me. All right, kiddo. I believe you. I was just joshing you. Ask Miss Mulcahey? Well, I guess not. Her and me ain't talked to each other for's much as a year and I got a great big picture of me asking her for her chamois. And I bet it won't be my fault if we never do talk to each again. Common trash! Say, kiddo, did you see that new lid of hers? Honest, I thought I'd die when I first lamped 4 Late This Morning it. I pretty near laughed right out in her face. Say, it's the most comical looking thing you ever saw. The shape of it's kind of like yours, only different. No, I didn't say it was like yours. I just said that it was kind of that shape, only different. It don't look no more like yours really than nothing, except for the shape and the way it's trimmed. Say, youngster, if you're going to get sore over a little thing like that! Well, you certainly did act like you was, but I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. I ain't one to hold a grudge. Say, now I'd like to know what become of my gum that I stuck right here under the edge of my desk. I bet one of those scrub ladies swiped it. It's a pity a person can't leave a thing lay in' round in this joint but what the next thing it's gone. Say, I wisht you could a seen the fellow that was sitting acrost the car from me this morning. Say, could he rub- ber? Well, I guess yes. Say, he sat there with his eyes pretty near popping right out of his head till I pretty near laughed right in his face. A real kind of a nice look- ing fellow he was, too. Honest to goodness, I never seen quite such a rubberer. And so I just rubbered right back and I says to Mame, that's my kid sister, she works over to Rosenheim's and land knows what she wants to work for that bunch of Sheenies for, but she says they're real kind of nice to her, well anyway, I says to Mame when we come to get off the car ''Well," I says "when it comes to rubbering, I can do it just's good's the next one," I says, so when I got off I just turned right around and stared at him, and I couldn't hardly keep my face straight. Say, they can't none of these fellows get ahead of me. Now, where do you s'pose my nail file is? Yes, I did, I left it right here in this drawer. Now, do you s'pose one of them kids would of had the nerve to of took it? I bet they would, too. They got the nerve for anything. I didn't say anybody took it. I just said they would of had the nerve to, and I'm willing to say it right to their face. I wasn't insulting nobody. That isn't my nature. But I would just like to know where that nail file is. Sure, I left it here. 0, here it is, slipped down behind these Late This Morning 6 papers, but I must say I have my opinion of folks that can't let other folks' things alone. Say, I'm just crazy for some gum. Ain't you got a bit? I wonder if Jones has got some. He most generally has, but I don't know whether he'd give me any or not. Last time I asked him he said right to my face that he didn't have any, and I saw him get out a fresh piece the minute I turned my back. Tightwad ! I have my opinion of a person that's too stingy to give another person a little piece of gum. Say, girlie, got a piece of tissue paper that I can cover up my hat with? No, dearie, that won't do. I gotter have a big one. Tell the kid to go out to the stock room and get me a piece, won't you. I'll do something for you some day if you will. Say, I'm going to take some of this paper to pin over my sleeves and the front of my waist. O, well, of course, if you don't want I should take it. Well, I never said you wasn't going to use it yourself. I guess I can get some out of my own. desk. Well, use it yourself. I don't see that anybody's preventing you. All I ask is for you to quit talking about it. Say, I wisht I had some gum. Ain't it the limit how dirty a person gets when they work downto^vn? I know it don't look very good to go round like you was trying to give an imitation of a paper balloon, but I don't give a rip. Ma's struck. She says she ain't going to do no more'n three waists for me a week, so I just gotter keep 'em look- ing kind of decent the first day. Not that I care hovv^ I look down here in this old joint, but I meet my friend on the elevated going home and it makes him sore if I don't look good. You know how some fellows are. Well, I don't know as it makes much difference to me what you think about it. All I have to say is that I'd rather have a fellow that notices things. A fellow that didn't notice when you don't look good wouldn't notice when you do. Thanks, kid, much obliged. What's that? Kelly says I better quit sending out there for paper. Says he ain't going to let me have no more. I like his nerve, and I'll tell him so right to his face. Just wait till I want some more and I'll show him. Say kid, just peek into Parker's room and see if he's there and if he ain't, hand me out his 6 Late This Morning brush broom, won't you, that's a good youngster? Say, you're a peach. Now brush me off a little, won't you? Say, you didn't brush off the back of my skirt. Sure, that's all right. Now, you can take the brush back. And, say, kid, look in the lower drawer on the left hand side of his desk and see if he's got any shoe polish left. Maybe I used the last of it yesterday noon. Sure, he keeps it there. Get it myself! Well, I like your nerve. See here, young man, you're getting just a little too fresh. I can see where it's coming to you to have somebody learn you where you get off at. Say, girlie, stick a couple of pins in my waist where the buttons is off, won't you? Thanks ever so much. Oh, it was there, was it, kid? O, that's all right. I don't never hold grudges. Say, if that kid hadn't got off so quick I'd a had him shine my shoes. It's the limit how these kids hates to do anything. I wisht I had a couple of nickels that wasn't working so I could go down and have 'em shined. I'll have to go over and get Peterson's polisher. If you see the boss coming put me next, will you? I got so I just kind of hate to ask these kids to do a thing; they're so grouchy. I guess, after all, the easiest way to get things done is to do 'em yourself, huh? Say, Peterson wasn't there and he had his drawer where he keeps his shoe polisher locked up. What do you know about that? It beats all how suspicious some folks are. I wouldn't have a disposition like that for anything you could give me. Now, I never in the world would think of doing a thing like that. There ain't a grain of suspicious- ness in me. If there's anything I hate is folks that's always thinking other folks can't be trusted. Say, I wonder if Parker's got a polisher. He's just come, though, so I guess I won't go in there. Say, I wonder if I'd have time to go out and comb my hair good before the boss hikes in. Do you s'pose I would? Say, I believe I'll try. O, gee, here he comes now. What do you know about that? And I ain't even got my desk dusted. Say, ain't he the sneak? Coming down here at ten to nine just to spy on folks that's just as good as he is and see whether they're late or not. My, I hate that kind Late This Morning t of a disposition. I'm glad I ain't like that. I may have my faults, but I will say for myself that there ain't a grain of meanness in me. I'm all open and above-board. But I know there's a lot of folks that ain't like that and there's some not more'n a mile away either. Well, now, why on earth should I mean you? Was we talking about you? Well, w^hat's the use of being such a grouch? Say, who's that ringing his bell? Milton? Do you mean that cute looking young fellow that Mulcahey's so struck on? Say, where's my book and my pencils? Say, hustle up, kid, and loan me a pencil. And, say, let me take your book, too, won't you? Well, you can have mine when I find it. Say, hustle, kid, for the love of Mike. It'll break my heart if that Mulcahey gets in ahead of me. 0, thanks awfully, dearie. You're a pretty good young- ster, after all. Now just watch me beat her to it. Mock Trials, Initianons and Monologues MAN PROPOSES, BUT WOMAN DISPOSES, is cent.. A sprightly and emotional Monologue by Lawrence D. Fogg, in which a young lady, on her birthday, endeavors by the guidance of letters and gifts from her numerous admirers, to decide on one of them for a husband. Her criticisms are witty and amusing, but she fails to make any selection. Why ? — Because. CONFESSIONS OF A MALE FLIRT, is cents, a monologue. by Lawrence D. Fogg, in which a bachelor, on the eve of his wedding, while burn- ing his love correspondence, recalls to mind some of the girls with whom he has been in love, with his hopes, his successes, and his disappointments. A strange medley of humor and heart-burnings, ending with a pathetic climax. Note — At the end, while the performer's head is buried in his hands, a procession may pass slowly by, repre- senting the girls he has been describing ; similar in effect to the scenes in the " Reveries of a Bachelor." SHOW AT WILKIN'S HALL, The. is cents, a comedy costume monologue for a lady, or gentleman in female costume, by Bertha M. Wilson. A " Take-Off " on Delsarteans in 2 scenes • the second can be given without the first, being complete in itself. A sure hit. WAKE AT O'GRADY'S, The. 15 cents. By William Sidney Hillyer. a monologue for an Irish character comedian. Runs 15 minutes. Besides the "wake," Mr. Du^an tells all about the christening at McGuire's. Especially recommended. CRUSHED TRAGEDIAN, A. 15 cents. By William Sidney Hillyer. A character monologue for male comedian. Depicts the reminiscences and tribulations of "the palmy days" by one of " the old school." Runs about 15 minutes. Especially recommended. MATRIMONY— BEFORE AND AFTER. 2S cents, a humor- ous monologue, describing in a series of funny stories and sly deductions from facts more or less authentic, the hopes and delusions of the maudlin stages of love and courtship, and the awakening realities as viewed from the final standpoint of matri- mony. It keeps an audience in broad grins and explosive laughter for about 20 minutes. GREAT LIBEL CASE, The. 15 cents. A new mock trial, by Harry E. Shelland. 21 males. 8 leading characters and 13 jurymen (i excused). A roaring travesty of proceedings in court in the backwoods of Kentucky. The war experiences of the defendant, a bogus colonel, and the personalities of a jury of mixed nationalities and occupations, make this trial a screaming farce. It plays a whole evening. CASE OF HERR BAR ROOMSKI CONEYISKEY, The. (An Anarchist.) 15 cents. A new Mock Trial, by Harry E. Shelland. 27 male, 1 female (usually played by a male) characters. The latest and most amusing mock trial published. Good Tramp, French, German, Irish, Negro and Jew parts. Plays a whole evening. RUGGLES vs. THE PADERWHISKIE SCHOOL, is cents. A mock trial, by Charles J. Martin. Arranged for 18 male and 14 female characters or more as circumstances require ; the female characters are usually performed by males. This mock trial will keep the audience laughing every moment ; the action is rapid and replete with irresistible drolleries. Ritf^gles brings suit against the Pader- whiskie School for damages caused by the insufferable noise, vocal and instrumental, by which his rest is destroyed. Examples are performed to enable the jury to appreciate their excellence, giving opportunities for the introduction of specialties. Can be played a whole evening. RIDING THE GOAT. 15 cents, a burlesque initiation in a lodge of the *' Sovereign Union of the Emancipated Husbands," by O. E. Young. 12 male characters, also the wives of all of them (performed by males), and 2 attendant imps; associate members and their wives, ad libitum.. Time, ij^ hours. The cast includes a Dutchman, an Irishman, a Yankee and a Darkey. The proceedings are intensely funny with a roaring climax. Just the thing for a club where a large cast is desired. MILITARY PLAYS I 25 CENTS EACH BY THE ENEMY'S HAND. 4 Acts; 2 hours lO 4 EDWARDS, THE SPY. 5 Acts; 2^ hours 10 4 PRISOXEK OF ANDERSONVILLE. 4 Acts; 2^ hours.. 10 4 <*> CAPTAIN DICK. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 9 G ISABEL, THE PEARL OE~ CUBA. 4 Acts; 2 hours 9 3 LITTLE SAVAGE. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 4 4 BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. (15 cents.) 5 Acts; 2}4 hours 9 3 BETWEEN TWO FIRES. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 2 hours 8 3 RURAL PLAYS 25 CENTS EACH MAN FROM MAINE. 5 Acts; 214 hours. 9 3 AMONG THE BERKSHIRES. 3 Acts; 2J4 hours 8 4 OAK FARM. 3 Acts; 214 hours; 1 Stage Setthig 7 4 GREAT ^VINTERSON MINE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 4 SQUIRE THOMPKINS' DAUGHTER. 5 Acts; 2]4 hours 5 2 AVHEN A MAN'S SINGLE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 4 4 FROM PUNKIN RIDGE. (15 cents.) 1 Act; 1 hour.. . 6 3 LETTER FROM HOME. (15 cents.) 1 Act; 25 minutes 1 1 « ENTERTAINMENTS 25 CENTS EACH AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY. 1 Scene 5 11 BACHELOR MAIDS' REUNION. 1 Scene 2 30 IN THE FERRY HOUSE. 1 Scene; li^ hours 19 15 JAPANESE ^VEDDING. 1 Scene; 1 hour ... 3 10 MATRIMONIAL EXCHANGE. 2 Acts; 2 hours 6 9 OLD PLANTATION NIGHT. 1 Scene; I14 hours 4 4 YE VILLAGE SKE^VL OF LONG AGO. 1 Scene. 13 12 FAMILIAR FACES OF A FUNNY FAMILY 8 11 JOLLY BACHELORS. Motion Song or Recitation 11 CHRISTMAS MEDLEY. 30 minutes 15 14 EASTER TIDINGS. 20 minutes 8 BUNCH OF ROSES. (15 cents.) 1 Act; ]i^ hours I 13 OVER THE GARDEN ^VALL. (15 cents) 11 8 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS AUG ^SSSSSSSSSS COM 00142120185 # BREAKING HIS BONDS. 4Act6;2hours 6 3 BUTTE IINUT'S BRIDE. 3 Acts; SJ^ hours 11 6 COI-iI^EGE CHUMS. 3 Acts; 5i hours; 1 Stage Setting 9 3 COUNT OF NO ACCOUNT. 3 Acts; SJ^ hours 9 4 DEACON. 5 Acts; 2>^ hours 8 6 DELEGATES FROM DE^^^ER. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 3 10 DOCTOR BY COURTESY. 3Acte;2hour8 6 5 EASTSIDERS, The. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 8 4 ESCAPED FROM THE LAW. 5 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 GIRL FROM PORTO RICO. 3 Acts; 2i^ hours 5 3 GYPSY QUEEN. 4 Acts; 2i^ hours 5 3 IN THE ABSENCE OP SUSAN. 3 Acts; IJ^ hours 4 6 .JAILBIRD. 5 Acts; 2^ hours 6 3 .JOSIAH'S COURTSHIP. 4Act8;2hour8 7 4 MY LADY DARRELL. 4 Acts; 2J^ hours 9 6 MY UNCLE FROM INDIA. 4 Acts; 2i^ hours 13 4 NEXT DOOR. 3 Acts; 2 hours 5 4 PHYLLIS'S INHERITANCE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 9 REGULAR FLIRT. 3 Acts; 2 hours 4 4 ROGUE'S LUCK. 3Acts;2hours 5 3 SQUIRE'S STRATAGEM. 5 Acts; 2i^ hours 6 4 STEEL KING. 4 Acts; 2»^ hours 5 3 AVHAT'S NEXT? 3 Acts; 2i^ hours 7 4 WHITE LIE. 4Act8; 2}^ hours 4 3 WESTERN PLAYS 25 CENTS EACH ROCKY FORD. 4Act8;2hours 8 3 GOLDEN GULCH. 3 Acts; 214 hours 11 3 RED ROSETTE. 3Acts;2hours 6 3 MISS MOSIIER OF COLORADO. 4 Acts; 2i^ hours... 5 3 STUBBORN MOTOR CAR. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 4 CRAAVFORD'S CLAIM. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 214 hours. 9 3 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y.