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America Passes By 
 
 A Play in One Act 
 
 By 
 KENNETH ANDREWS 
 
 Author of "The Tear of the Tiger," "A Crooked 
 Man and His Crooked Wife" etc. 
 
 NOTE 
 
 Both the amateur and professional stage-rights of this play are 
 strictly reserved. Public performance of the play without per- 
 mission is forbidden. In the case of amateurs a royalty of $5.00 
 for each performance will be charged. Persons wishing to pro- 
 duce this play may apply to the author in care of the publishers. 
 
 BOSTON 
 
 WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
 
 1917 
 
America Passes By 
 
 4 ,$ 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 (As originally produced on April u f JQl6, at the Hasty Pudding Theatre, 
 Cambridge, Mass., by the Harvard Dramatic Club.) 
 
 A Young Man . . ' . . . IV. H. Roope 
 His Fiancee .... Elizabeth S. Allen 
 A Young Husband J. Hammond 
 
 His Wife Priscilla May 
 
 Scene. — A small flat in Chicago. 
 
 Copyright, 191 7, by Kenneth Andrews 
 Professional stage and moving picture rights reserved. 
 
 « 
 
 
 
 f 
 
 
 
 JAN 25 1917 
 
 
 
 TMP92- 
 
 -0085 
 
 81 
 
 ©cin 450 
 
 
 
PLEASE NOTICE 
 
 The professional stage-rights in this play are strictly reserved by the 
 author, to whom applications for its use should be addressed. Amateurs 
 may obtain permission to produce it privately on payment to him of a fee 
 of live dollars (#5.00) for each performance, in advance. Correspondence 
 on this subject may be addressed to Kenneth Andrews, in care of the 
 publishers. 
 
 Attention is called to the penalties provided by law for any infringe- 
 ments of his rights, as follows : 
 
 "Sec. 4966: — Any person publicly performing or representing any dramatic or 
 musical composition for which copyright has been obtained, without the consent of the 
 proprietor of said dramatic or musical composition, or his heirs and assigns, shall be 
 liable for damages therefor, such damages in all cases to be assessed at such sum, not 
 less than one hundred dollars for the first and fifty dollars for every subsequent per- 
 formance, as to the court shall appear to be just. If the unlawful performance and 
 representation be wilful and for profit, such person or persons shall be guilty of a mis- 
 demeanor, and upon conviction be imprisoned for a period not exceeding one year." — 
 U. S. Revised Statutes, Title 60, Chap. 3 . 
 
America Passes By 
 
 SCENE. — The living-room of a small flat. It is a delightful 
 little roo?n furnished with care and taste ; bright, but not 
 flashy. At the rear is a double doorway opening into the 
 " square hall. " In the hall are visible a hat-stand with its 
 mirror, a bag of golf clubs, etc. In the living-room, to the 
 left of the hall doorway, is a tall piano lamp {though there 
 is no piano) with a deep amber shade. At the right of the 
 doorway is a s?nall square black table with visiting cards 
 upon it. In front of the wide low fireplace, which is at the 
 right a?id quite far front, is a davenport attractive enough 
 of itself and in harmony with the walls and hangings, but 
 too large for the room. Indeed the room has evide fitly 
 been decorated with this piece of furniture in mind. In the 
 left-hand wall, almost opposite the fireplace, is a windoiu 
 which is also too large for the room : plainly having been 
 constructed with a view to its exterior aspects. In front of 
 the ivindow is a bright brass smoking set. Grouped about 
 are several smart but rather comfortable looking chairs. 
 
 (Anne appears in the hall, followed by Kate. Anne has 
 given her coat to Kate, and is removing her hat and veil. 
 Anne is a very pretty girl, but she is dressed very plainly 
 and beside Kate she seems almost dowdy. Kate is like 
 the living-room : bright but not flashy. Her striking 
 " house-gown " is tasteful enough — on her.) 
 
 Kate (hanging Anne's coat on the hat-stand). Hurry with 
 the veil. I'm dying to see what you look like. 
 
 Anne {surrendering her hat and veil). Ho ! You em- 
 barrass me ! 
 
 Kate (putting her arm about Anne and bringing her into 
 the room). Did I ? Oh, I'm so sorry. But we haven't a 
 single manner. There simply isn't room for them in a honey- 
 moon flat. 
 
 Anne (as they sit on the davenport). So this is the flat at 
 last. (She cant resist a glance around.) 
 
 5 
 
6 AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 Kate (seizing her hands). And this is Anne ! at last. 
 
 Anne {smiling). Do you think I look like a missionary ? 
 
 Kate. No ! (Springs up.) Oh, dear me ! 1 forgot. (She 
 flies to the little black table and takes a bright new Bible from 
 the drawer.) Bill told us to be sure and have it in a conspicu- 
 ous place. So we bought one specially — just for fun. (Glee- 
 fully she places it on the mantelpiece.) There. 
 
 Anne (a little startled). Well, 1 — I am a sort of a mis- 
 sionary : I've always tried to help — you knew that, didn't you? 
 
 Kate (undaunted). Dear me, yes. I mean, we heard all 
 about you from Bill. (Again on the davenport beside her.) 
 He does so love to talk about his fiancee. 
 
 Anne (puzzled). Bill? 
 
 Kate. Yes. Don't you call him Bill ? 
 
 Anne. No, I — 1 call him Benjamin. 
 
 Kate. Oh, of course. But we always called him Bill. I 
 don't know why it seemed to fit him. 
 
 Anne. Fit him? Bill? I don't see why it fits him, I'm 
 afraid. 
 
 Kate. Well — we grew up together, you know — and when 
 Bill was a little kiddie he used to say (imitating), "I wish my 
 name was Bill. It sounds tough." So we 
 
 (She breaks off, laughing. ) 
 
 Anne. Hm. 
 
 Kate. He always wrote about you as "the other white 
 person in Japan." 
 
 Anne (laughing). That's like him. Oh, it was so wonder- 
 ful, Mrs. 
 
 Kate. Don't call me Missus. Mercy ! Call me Kate ! 
 
 Anne. You see, K-Kate, I've always lived in Japan 
 
 Kate. Never been in America before ! Think of that ! 
 
 Anne. And when Benjamin came You won't mind 
 
 if I talk about him? You'll understand because you've just 
 married. 
 
 Kate (dubiously accepti?ig this). We-ell, two months. 
 
 Anne. I do so want to talk about him. There's been no 
 one but old maids, and missionaries — and that's not the 
 same 
 
 Kate (throwing her arms about her). You poor child ! 
 Tell me everything ! What would be the fun of being in love 
 if you couldn't talk about it? 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY J 
 
 Anne {laughing). It was such a perfect love-story. Most 
 of it happened in a wonderful Japanese garden, full of big 
 shadows and stone lanterns and everything. 
 
 Kate. Just what Bill said : a perfect love-story ! 
 
 Anne. And Benjamin was such a perfect prince — so just a 
 boy, and 
 
 Kate. Bill certainly is a prince. 
 
 Anne. And we think we'd like to live always near the 
 garden. Perhaps we shall. Benjamin hasn't quite decided 
 
 Kate (aghast). Bill a missionary ! 
 
 Anne. He was fully in the notion in Japan — and in the 
 garden. But . . . America seems to have changed him. 
 
 Kate (wide-eyed). You say he was in the notion in Japan ? 
 
 Anne (innocently). Yes. Why not? 
 
 Kate. N-nothing. Only we thought you'd live in Chicago. 
 Pa and I had picked out the flat for you 
 
 Anne. Pa? 
 
 Kate. Yes. Ha, ha ! I call him " Pa." 
 
 Anne. You mean your father ? 
 
 Kate (stifling a laugh). No ! I mean George ! 
 
 Anne. Oh, your husband. 
 
 Kate. Yes, I can't seem to get used to calling him " my 
 husband." 
 
 Anne. So you call him " Pa " ? 
 
 Kate. Yes. It's silly, isn't it? 
 
 Anne (tapping her foot in thought). And — he calls you — 
 "Ma"? 
 
 Kate (embarrassed). Yes. 
 
 Anne. Oh ! 
 
 Kate. You see, P-P — George and I thought it would be so 
 jolly to have you two across the street — and we wanted you to 
 get married in our flat 
 
 Anne. It would be jolly, I suppose, if I could ever learn to 
 be an American. 
 
 Kate. Better than Japan, don't you think ? 
 
 Anne. I — I sometimes wonder. Benjamin has s-seemed 
 different in Chicago. America seems to have changed him. 
 But that's just silly. It's just that I'm so terribly sensitive. 
 If anything should happen ! 
 
 Kate (from the heights of her two months 1 experience). 
 That's it. I was the same way. Pa tried to get away twice 
 after we were engaged. 
 
 Anne (shocked and mystified). To get away ? 
 
8 AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 Kate. Yes, indeed. They will if you don't watch them. 
 {She goes to the doorway and stands listening.') 
 
 Anne. Oh, Kate, I — I didn't mean that. But I know how 
 good Benjamin is, that he does have such dear ideals, and — of 
 course that sounds like an engaged girl — — 
 
 Kate (listening). There they come at last. I do hope no 
 one sees them. 
 
 Anne. Where is Benjamin ? I thought he'd meet me here. 
 
 Kate. He and Pa stepped out after a pail of b 
 
 (She catches herself and looks at Anne.) 
 
 Anne. A what ! 
 
 Kate (laughing uncomfortably). You see, Pa thought since 
 Bill had been away for so long, they ought to have a kind of a 
 party, as he said. So 
 
 Anne. What did they go to get? (As though hurt.) 
 
 Kate. Well, they went to get a pail of beer. Of course 
 that's just what they said. 
 
 Anne (a little bewildered). I — suppose I'm silly and nar- 
 row, but that does seem a little strange 
 
 Kate. Anne, dear ! We never drink It was just an 
 
 impulse Of course just beer. They — sillies — said it 
 
 would be so "clubby" and plebeian. A pail, you know! 
 
 (Her enthusiasm for the "party" is plainly forced, and 
 fails to infect Anne.) 
 
 Anne. I shan't s-spoil anything. You needn't explain 
 
 Kate. There they are. Just excuse me. (She goes out 
 with assumed airiness. Her voice, in a clearly audible whis- 
 per, outside.) But, Bill, you old loon, you knew she wouldn't 
 like it ! 
 
 Bill (outside). Ah, the dickens, we've only 
 
 Kate (outside). Not so loud, she'll hear you ! 
 
 Bill (outside, a feiu degrees huskier). Well, she's got to 
 learn 
 
 Kate (outside). Sh-sh-sh ! She'll hear you ! 
 
 Bill (outside). Oh, rot ! Where is she? 
 
 Kate (outside). Pa ! Give me the beer ! 
 
 (As Anne listens to this rather undignified colloquy there is 
 a stiffness and primness in her attitude which she would 
 probably deplore if she realized it.) 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY 9 
 
 Enter Bill. He is a young man of abundant energy and en- 
 thusiasm, just now a bit flushed from his argument with 
 Kate, and inclined to bluster to hide his discomfort. 
 
 Bill {seeing Anne). Well, here we are at last ! Isn't this 
 a little nest? (Goes to her and starts to kiss her.) 
 Anne (stopping him). Oh, should you ? — well. 
 
 (She holds up her lips ; he kisses her.) 
 
 Bill (loudly). Come in, Pa ! (George enters. Very much 
 the young husband, breezy with the first flush of happy married 
 life ; young and comfortably prosperous. As Geo. enters.) 
 Here we are ! This is George, Anne. Not very pretty, but 
 sweet and clean. 
 
 Anne (smiling and shaking hands). How do you do ? So 
 this is George. 
 
 Geo. ''George," that's right. And we call you "Anne," 
 Ma and I, in the bosom of the family, so to speak. Mustn't 
 mind if we slip. 
 
 Kate (returning). Now, Pa, stop trying to be polite. I've 
 told her we haven't any manners. 
 
 Bill {softly to Kate). What did you do with it? 
 
 Geo. (to Anne). I'm glad she warned you 
 
 Kate (firmly). I threw it in the sink. 
 
 Bill. What? 
 
 Geo. (wheeling). Threw it ! 
 
 (There is a sudden silence as Bill, Geo. and Kate become 
 conscious of Anne.) 
 
 Bill (to relieve the impending strain). Hm, hm. Well, 
 well. Here we are; the four of us. And you two actually 
 married — the world moves ! 
 
 Geo. (his arm about Kate). Ma, don't you just want to 
 sit and look at him ? Home again ! 
 
 Bill. And that's the greatest feeling in the world. 
 
 Kate. And don't you think for a minute you're ever going 
 to run away and be a missionary ! 
 
 Geo. (shouting). What! Who? 
 
 Bill. Good lord, Kate ! Can't you take a joke? 
 
 Geo. Bill a missionary ! And he just told a bartender we 
 weren't buying foam, but beer ! 
 
 Kate. George ! (She gives Geo. a terrible look. The 
 
IO AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 three of them look at Anne, realizing that they have bee?i ig- 
 noring her completely. Anne sits staring into tlie fireplace. 
 Kate, going to her : gushingly). My dear, won't you come 
 out in the kitchen with me? The dinner's all ready to go on 
 the range. I want you to see what a wonderful housekeeper 
 1 am. 
 
 Anne (rising). Yes. Let me help. 1 — I want to learn. 
 
 (They go arm in arm : Geo. and Bill stand looking after 
 them.) 
 
 Bill. What d'you think of her, George? 
 
 Geo. Anne ? She's a marvel. 
 
 Bill {enthusiastically). Isn't she? You — er — you really 
 think so? 
 
 Geo. She's a wonder. (Goes to smoking- set.) Come on. 
 Have a weed. 
 
 Bill. I — I sort of cut them out, George. 
 
 Geo. (in dismay). No ! 
 
 Bill (joining Geo.). She — rather wanted me to. What 
 are they ? 
 
 Geo. Fatima, of loving memory. 
 
 (Puts one in Bill's mouth.) 
 
 Bill. Home again. (Lights the cigarette, as Geo. 
 holds a match for him.) I used to crawl around through a 
 temple yard next door over there begging the damn little idols 
 for one. (He stretches out in a chair.) 
 
 Geo. I'll bet. Now what about Kate ? Has she grown 
 up into a regular little person ? 
 
 Bill (slowly). " A regular little person." I like that. I 
 suppose that's up-to-now American. 
 
 Geo. I'm asking you about the Missus. 
 
 Bill. She's a regular little person. American, George, all 
 through. Gee ! You don't know what that means. 
 
 Geo. Don't I? I'm the most married man you ever saw. 
 And we've got the flat picked out for you and Anne. Just 
 across the street. 
 
 Bill. Look here, you know. I want you to be frank about 
 it. You honestly think Anne is — well, what you expected? 
 
 Geo. Why, yes, she's a baby, Bill. Of course 
 
 (He stops uncertainly.) 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY II 
 
 Bill {turning to him). Of course what, George ? Don't 
 be afraid. 
 
 Geo. We-ell — a wee bit religious, I suppose. But we'll 
 make her one of the family if we have to go to church. 
 
 [Reassuringly he ba?igs Bill on the shoulder.) 
 
 Bill. That's fine of you, George. I — I — you know I was 
 simply a fool about her — in Tokyo. 
 
 Geo. [quickly). You mean you're not now ? 
 
 Bill. Well, that's it. Am 1 ? 
 
 Geo. Hm. If you were to ask me 
 
 Bill. Shut up, George. I — I suppose it's the shock of 
 getting back. I feel as though I'd been away from civilization 
 for centuries. 
 
 Geo. Do you think she's changed ? 
 
 Bill. Not a bit of it. She's pure gold — but somehow or 
 other the charm of it's gone. 
 
 Geo. Well, she's crazy about you, I can see that. 
 
 Bill. Can you ? Hm, that makes me happy as the devil. 
 
 (He walks restlessly to the window.) 
 
 Geo. Of course a man has to be careful. Can't be too 
 careful. 
 
 Bill. Did you ever have — doubts ? 
 
 Geo. Ye-es, but I got over them. Don't know just 
 how 
 
 Bill. With Kate it would be different. 
 
 Geo. (with sudden decision). I'm going to tell you some- 
 thing, old wagon; I wouldn't butt in on a bet; and if Anne's 
 the girl for you, she's the girl for the four of us 
 
 Bill (turning back to him). Go it. Talk straight from the 
 shoulder. 
 
 Geo. Take it for what it's worth. The Company marooned 
 me for eight months in a little county seat in Iowa. Two 
 trains passed through the town every day — except Sunday — 
 that's all that ever happened there. And lonesome, Lord 
 
 Bill. I know. I went for three weeks once without seeing 
 a white man. 
 
 Geo. Think of eight months in darkest Iowa. Then along 
 came Mary. Mary was the general storekeeper's daughter, 
 fair, frank and freckled. I'd been starving for a little small 
 
12 AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 talk for six months. You know how I took to Mary. She 
 wasn't a beauty, of course. But she looked to me like the 
 queen of the movies. 
 
 Bill {with relish). ''The Queen of the Movies" ! 
 
 Geo. Two weeks of Mary, and I wrote up to Kate — we 
 were engaged at the time — and tried to start an argument. 
 
 Bill. "Start an argument " ! {In delight, mostly to him- 
 self.) 
 
 Geo. But Katie, thank the good Lord, was wise, and too 
 proud to fight. Then I came back to Chicago ; and some time 
 later Mary and her dear mother paid a visit to the city. Bill 
 {shaking his head sadly), when I saw Mary in the reception 
 room of the club it knocked me out. 
 
 Bill. I know the feeling. 
 
 Geo. Something about the incongruity of it — she was here 
 three days and I lost five pounds a day. And when she went 
 home I simply ruined a typewriter ribbon trying to tell Kate I 
 wanted to get married. 
 
 Bill {thoughtfully). I see. I hadn't seen a real American 
 girl for three years. Anne came along 
 
 Geo. This environment thing is a peculiar machine. 
 
 Bill. Our love-story was perfect — simply perfect in Japan. 
 But it doesn't seem to go in Chicago — for me. 
 
 Geo. Watch it, Bill, watch your step. Just let America 
 pass by. That's what I did with Chicago and Mary. It 
 cured me. 
 
 Bill. That's it : let America pass by ! For this getting 
 back to civilization has been a tremendous shock. Oh, it's 
 been glorious ! America ! America ! Why, it just rose up 
 and slammed me on the shoulder in San Francisco. And ever 
 since it's been pressing in, pressing in ! Life, you know ! 
 Real people ! Nineteen hundred and now ! And somehow — 
 I do hate to say it — Anne isn't a part of America. America is 
 pressing in, and it seems that, in spite of everything, it's press- 
 ing her out. 
 
 Geo. If the little romance doesn't bear transplanting, old 
 man, let 'er wither. 
 
 Bill. But that month in Tokyo is like a dream. ( Very 
 thoughtfully.) I shudder to think of spoiling that for her — or 
 for myself. 
 
 Kate {appearing in the doorway and staring at Bill). 
 What on earth's he doing, Pa? Praying? 
 
 Bill {turning guiltily). Where's Anne? 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY 13 
 
 Kate. In the kitchen. She makes me ashamed of myself. 
 She knows twice as much as I do. 
 
 Bill. About — cooking ? 
 
 Geo. (removing the fluffy tuhite apron which Kate has over 
 her gown). Wait till you're married, Bill : you'll realize how 
 important that is 
 
 Kate {taking the apron from him, wheeling him about and 
 fastening it around his waist ). I think she's lovely, Bill. 
 
 Geo. (as he submits to having the apron fastened on him). 
 You see, Bill, what it brings us to : hook-worms and kitchen 
 mechanics. 
 
 Kate (as she finishes tying the apron on him). Poor old 
 Pa, poor old . Pa ! (Rises to her tiptoes a?id kisses him on the 
 back of the head.) There. Go out and show Anne how well 
 I've trained you. 
 
 (Geo. goes out.) 
 
 Bill (tvhen Geo. is gone). So you like Anne? 
 
 Kate. Oh, she's a dear. 
 
 Bill. Honest ? 
 
 Kate (surprised). Why, yes. I love her, or shall. 
 
 Bill (suddenly pointing). Are those shoes the latest? 
 
 Kate (pressing back her skirts and putting her feet together). 
 Yes, sir. Do you like them ? 
 
 Bill. I love them ! 
 
 Kate (still stooping : looking up at him). Love them ? 
 
 Bill. Love 'em ! You don't know what those shoes are to 
 me. Something I've been hungering for for three years. 
 
 Kate (laughing). And they only cost four-thirty-six. I 
 got them at a sale. Now tell me about yourself. 
 
 Bill. And I'm crazy about that dress. There's something 
 ultra-American about it. 
 
 Kate. This? Bill ! It's a year old ! 
 
 Bill. Never. It's the newest thing in the world. 
 
 Kate. Dear me ! Go on. What do you think of my hair ? 
 
 (She looks at him brightly, and gives her head a little flirt.) 
 
 Bill (rising in his enthusiasm). Splendid ! Kate, some 
 time 1 want you to do that again for me — some time when I'm 
 not expecting it. 
 
 Kate (at a loss). What ? 
 
 Bill. Turn your head, just that way ! I'd forgotten, plumb 
 forgotten that women did it ! 
 
14 
 
 AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 Kate (laughing •uncertainly). Silly. Tell me about Japan. 
 
 (Kate" arranges herself on the davenport prepared to believe 
 anything. ) 
 
 Bill (all life gone out of his mariner). It's a beautiful 
 country. 
 
 Kate. How specific ! Do they dance there ? 
 
 Bill. No — not as we do. (Warms up again.) The men 
 and women don't dance together. They don't twist themselves 
 into outlandish postures, and make glorious fools of themselves, 
 and get their heads ringing witli the jolliest, craziest, liveliest 
 tunes in the world — and — (stopping out of breath) as we do. 
 God bless us ! 
 
 Kate. My ! Then you haven't been to a dance for three 
 years ! 
 
 Bill. It seems about three hundred. 
 
 Kate (clasping her hands). Then, Bill ! You don't know 
 a single one of the new dances ! 
 
 Bill. No. Are there some ? 
 
 Kate (shrieking). You poor old foreigner ! Here — (seiz- 
 ing him) do let me show you ! 
 
 (She starts a " syncopated walk") 
 
 Bill. W-wait ! What's the general idea? I can two-step ! 
 Kate. Sh-sh ! The flat's small. Some one might hear 
 you. Now watcher step. 
 
 (She leaves him and executes a graceful little fox-trot, sway- 
 ing, and ' ' hesitating, ' ' and gliding ; whirls around lightly, 
 smiling at him.) 
 
 Bill (with a sigh, as he watches). America passes by ! 
 
 Kate {bowing). There you are. Mrs. Castle, n'est-ce 
 pas? 
 
 Bill. Mrs. Who? 
 
 Kate. Castle, Bill ! You don't know about Mr. and Mrs. 
 Vernon ? 
 
 Bill. I admit it. Should I know them ? 
 
 Kate. No hope. And you don't know a single Ford 
 story ? 
 
 Bill. Sewell Ford ? Wrote about Shorty McCabe ? 
 
 Kate. Lovely, Bill, how lovely ! A Ford is what you get 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY 15 
 
 when you can't afford an automobile. There are people who 
 can't even get a Ford. Pa and I are some. 
 
 Bill. Oh — the name of a car. 
 
 Kate. And every one should have a Ford story. But 
 they're all old now. Mine was the one about the man who 
 drove his Ford up a hill, and let one of his feet hang outside. 
 
 Bill. Go on. It's new to me. 
 
 Kate. Fancy that ! Well, everybody thought it was a 
 roller skate. 
 
 Bill. What? 
 
 Kate. The Ford! 
 
 Bill. Oh, I see ! Ha, ha ! Because it was so small, eh? 
 
 Kate. Yes, Bill, because it was so small. That's right 
 
 {Above the sound of a ragtime piano is heard.) 
 
 Bill {raising his eyes to the ceiling). Just a minute ! 
 Is ? That's ragtime ! 
 
 Kate. The joys of living in a flat. 
 
 Bill {dropping on the arm of the davenport, a?id gazing 
 raptly at the ceiling). Ragtime ! 
 
 Kate (ivhispering very confidentially). It's the little girl 
 upstairs ; she can do it for hours ! 
 
 Bill {raising his hands in ecstasy). Kate, it's more Amer- 
 ican than a bright new copper penny ! 
 
 Kate {seeing that he likes it she proceeds to interpret Amer- 
 ican ragtime for him : watching him, and moving her hands, 
 shoulders and head with the melody). " Come along with me 
 — we'll have a jubilee — in my old Kentucky ho-ome ! " {The 
 tune upstairs changes.) R-r-run me up — and down the keeees 
 — ta-ta-tumtum — my harmoneeees — ta-ta-tumtumtum — are sure 
 to pleeeees 
 
 Bill. Sounds like "Silver Threads." 
 
 Kate {chanting the words into the tune). Yes — it — is syn- 
 copated Silver Threads {Breathlessly she drops into a 
 
 chair.) Everything is syncopated now ! Hum. 
 
 {Again the tune changes.) 
 
 Bill. What's that one? 
 
 Kate. " Aw-merica — I lo-ove you — and there's a hun-dred 
 milyun oth-ers like me!" Bang! What do you think of 
 that ? 
 
 Bill. It's awful : perfectly awful. But I love it ! A " hun- 
 dred million others like me" — that's the way 1 feel about get- 
 
l6 AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 ting back. Just like that. Back among my own people — 
 where there's a hundred million others like me. That's a great 
 feeling after three years in the wilderness ! 
 
 Kate (bromidically). Still, I'd like to travel. I think it's 
 so broadening. 
 
 Bill {brought to earth with a thud). The deuce you 
 would ! 
 
 Kate. I think one learns more from a year's travel than 
 from a college education. 
 
 Bill (in Joy). Old bromides ! Old bromides, new slang — 
 I don't know which I like the best ! 
 
 Kate (suddenly sniffing). Georgie ! 
 
 Geo. (from the kitche?i). Yes, m'dear? 
 
 Kate. Turn the meat ! 
 
 Geo. {from the kitchen). Yes, m'dear. Which way shall 
 I turn it ? 
 
 Kate (springing up and dashing out). Oh ! Can't you 
 smell it ? 
 
 Geo. (front the kitchen). Ye-as, m'dear. (When she is 
 gone Bill rises and heaves a sigh of happiness. The music 
 has begun again upstairs. Bill hums ; " Where there 1 s a 
 hundred million others like me." He moves to the tuindoiv and 
 holds aside the curtain, looking out with a whimsical smile. 
 il America I love you . . . a hundred million others like 
 me/") 
 
 (Anne has entered. Silently she watches his devotions, as 
 she removes her apron and wipes her hands on it. She 
 sits 071 the davenport, and waits for him to finish.) 
 
 Anne (over her shoulder). They told me to come in, Ben- 
 jamin ; they said it would be our last chance to be alone. 
 
 Bill (starting and turning). Oh, Anne ! I didn't hear 
 you come in. 
 
 (He looks at her as though he had forgotten her existence.) 
 
 Anne. They assumed that we would want to be together. 
 
 Bill (taking a step toward her). Well — don't we? 
 
 Anne (smiling and holding out her hands to him). Why, 
 of course. (Bill sits beside her on the davenport holding her 
 hands.) So this is George and Kate. 
 
 Bill. Aren't they the best fellows in the world ! Properly, 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY IJ 
 
 I suppose I should call them "real and regular." Don't you 
 like that? 
 
 Anne. Like what, Benjamin ? 
 
 Bill. "Real and regular": just the phrase. It's Amer- 
 ican, fresh from the mint. 
 
 Anne. Hra. I'm afraid I don't see quite what it means. 
 
 Bill. Well, don't you think Pa and Ma are great? 
 
 Anne. Yes, they're jolly — and your friends. 
 
 Bill {cooled somewhat). You know — they mean a lot to 
 me. 
 
 Anne. Yes. I can see they do. 
 
 Bill {rising uncomfortably). I don't know quite what you 
 mean. 1 — I'm afraid you don't understand how well I like 
 them. 
 
 Anne. It all seems so very different. 
 
 Bill. What's different? 
 
 Anne. Everything. I didn't think their flat would be like 
 this in Tokyo. 
 
 Bill. To me their flat's a bit of Heaven. 
 
 Anne {looking up at him). Is this what we want to do 
 with our lives ? 
 
 Bill {studying her curiously). You mean — it isn't ? 
 
 Anne. When we spend evenings like this are we making 
 any one happier ? Is this the life of service we planned in 
 Tokyo ? 
 
 Bill. Oh ! Anne, that's ridiculous. 
 
 Anne. You didn't think it was ridiculous in Tokyo. 
 
 Bill. Didn't I ? Well . . . isn't that peculiar? It's 
 true : I didn't. 
 
 Anne. Oh! What has made such a change in you? 
 You're not as you were in Tokyo. I can't believe you're the 
 same person at all ! 
 
 Bill {unhappily). I know, Anne. You have felt it then. 
 
 Anne. Felt it ! No, I haven't ! I've fought it away. 
 
 Bill. But I know what you mean. You seem like a 
 stranger to me. 
 
 Anne {very bitterly and helplessly). What has made the 
 difference? You are" you, and I am I ! What has happened 
 to us? 
 
 Bill. I think perhaps it's . . . America. 
 
 Anne. America ! Where we thought we'd be so happy. 
 Oh, it's all so boisterous and harsh. It's hateful. Chicago is 
 hideous ! 
 
1 8 AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 Bill. I'm afraid there's just the trouble, Anne. To me 
 Chicago is glorious. 
 
 Anne. How can you say that? It's selfish, brutal 
 
 Bill {insisting quietly). No, I love Chicago. 
 
 Anne. After the simplicity and beauty of Japan. We were 
 so close to life there ! 
 
 Bill. Close to life. It wasn't life at all. It's here we're 
 in life. I love the smell of the asphalt. I love the gloom and 
 dusk that lurks under the trestles of the elevated. A traffic 
 cop is a masterpiece ! 
 
 Anne. Don't talk so ! 
 
 Bill. I even like the posters on the streets, with their stiff 
 green lines and horribly skinny men. It's a profound expe- 
 rience for me to walk down Michigan Avenue: pearl gray 
 shoes, blue silk, white fur, derby hats, the English language, 
 horn spectacles, cigars, mustaches, shop- windows, sky-signs — 
 oh ! America ! 
 
 Anne {laughing a little). Of — of course you're glad to be 
 home again 
 
 Bill. Home again ! Alive again ! 
 
 Anne. But those things are all foreign to me, Benjamin ; 
 foreign, foreign. 
 
 Bill (touched and going to her). Anne — don't mind me. 
 I can't help it. I love them all ! 
 
 Anne {miserably). Those trivial, silly things 
 
 Bill. Those are just the sparkles on the surface. These 
 stunning, ultra, elaborately simple creations are just part of our 
 blessed struggle for the next thing, new discoveries, new 
 effects, new beauties from life. That striving, that joyous, 
 mad scramble for new things, bright new things, somehow is 
 America. It all stirs something in me to the sizzling point ! 
 
 Anne. And it all distresses me, and hurts me and confuses 
 me ! 
 
 Bill. Anne, I'm mad to get into the big procession : just a 
 tiny niche in one of those skyscrapers — with typewriters click- 
 ing all about me — that's all I want if I can feel I'm a part of 
 it all. 
 
 Anne (desperately). And don't you know I can never be a 
 part of it — it is stylish and modern, and I am not 
 
 Bill. Stylish and modern — and young. The Youth of All 
 the World ! That's why I love it ! 
 
 Anne. And in Japan we said we wanted things that are 
 simple and clean. 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY 19 
 
 Bill. I'd forgotten what a great old century we're living 
 in. The music of passing motor cars ! Why, when I got into 
 that Northwestern Station and looked up at those stretches of 
 marble, and heard a roar about "The next train — for Evans- 
 ton ! " and saw a news-stand glittering with the colors of new 
 magazines, and heard the newsboys croaking, " Wuxtree, Tenth 
 Edition! " I wanted to throw my hat on the floor and jump 
 on it. 
 
 Anne. Yes. I've felt it coming. It's all worse than the 
 heathen things the Japanese do. At least they have a God ! 
 
 Bill. Yes, it's true. This plunge into the living has done 
 something to us. Mrs. Vernon Castle ! Fifty thousand people 
 at a football game. It's all America ! 
 
 Anne (sitting o?i the davenport; looking away from him ; 
 with a change of voice). Benjamin, do you think you love 
 me — still ? 
 
 Bill (his jaiu dropping). Why — of course I do. Anne, 
 how could you ask such a question ! 
 
 Anne. It wasn't easy — or politic, 1 suppose. 
 
 Bill. But don't — L mean let's not — this has nothing to do 
 with our — our love — (with an effort) dear. 
 
 Anne. Oh ! If I could think so ! But for instance, Ben- 
 jamin 
 
 Bill (as though he had endured it too long). I wish you 
 wouldn't call me that. 
 
 Anne. What? 
 
 Bill. What you just called me : Benjamin. Nobody ever 
 does except to jolly me. I wish you'd call me Bill. 
 
 Anne. Well . . . Bill ... do you think I could ever 
 wear my hair as Kate does? Or wear shoes like hers? And 
 stockings that really seem vulgar to me? 
 
 Bill. Good Lord ! Why not? 
 
 Anne. Some girls can dress — well, stylishly — others can't. 
 It's not a mere matter of putting on the clothes. I couldn't do 
 it, ever. Even if I — I loved you. I couldn't. 
 
 Bill (after a slight pause). Of— course, that's a little thing. 
 
 Anne (on the point of giving way to her emotion at last). 
 No ! I think it's a big thing — enormous, and strange — and 
 pitiless ! (Her voice breaks ; she buries her face in her arms.) 
 
 Bill (surprised; coming to her kindly). Why, Anne! 
 
 Anne (bitterly). Don't feel sorry for me ! 1 really couldn't 
 stand that ! 
 
 Bill (standing awkwardly behind her). We— we can't 
 
20 AMERICA PASSES BY 
 
 quite understand it. I — I know you're right, Anne. I think 
 perhaps 
 
 Anne. It would be better if I said it, don't you think ? 
 You're trying to be a gentleman — and that's good of you. 
 
 Bill {helplessly). Let's be careful. Why, here we are in 
 George's flat. We mustn't spoil it. We've dreamed of it so 
 often — and here's our dream come true ! 
 
 Anne. I was going to say that in Japan you thought I was — 
 well — beautiful. 
 
 Bill (dutifully ; but without conviction). I — I think so — - 
 still. 
 
 Anne (with a little laugh). I think that ends our engage- 
 ment ! (With a start she faces him, and for a moment they 
 stand looking rather stupidly at each other. Turns away 
 from him.) And in Japan I was Youth and America — all 
 your life lacked there. And you were that to me : Youth and 
 what I thought America was. You see now that I am not 
 American at all, and not young in your way. And your youth 
 that I loved there is different in its own environment. It is 
 something I cannot understand — or love, Benjamin . . . Bill. 
 
 Bill. You're brave about it. Anne, that's like you. 
 
 Anne. I — I have wondered if the boy and girl we were in 
 Japan — for we were so young there — aren't over in Tokyo — 
 still. 
 
 Bill. It's all very strange, Anne. I'm afraid those two — 
 that is what they were to each other — were part of the pine 
 trees, and tea-houses, and bamboo lattices 
 
 Anne (breathlessly). and stone lanes, and old temples, 
 
 and paper lanterns, and oh ! Yes ! I suppose our — our 
 
 love is still over there. I shouldn't care to bring it to Chicago ! 
 
 Bill (earnestly). Anne! We must try 
 
 Anne. We have tried. When a dream fades, you can't 
 bring it back. 
 
 Bill. Dear, you don't mean we 
 
 Anne (looking at him, fully realizing the irony of her 
 words). Bill — I shan't let you marry me. 
 
 Bill. Strange. If you'd said that two months ago, I'd 
 have committed hara-kiri. 
 
 Anne. Yes. But that was in Japan. 
 
 Kate (from the kitchen). Honk ! Honk ! We're com- 
 ing. Take separate chairs. 
 
 Anne. Benjamin ! I can't stand it. Won't you put your 
 arms around me — as if you loved me 
 
AMERICA PASSES BY 21 
 
 Bill (Jiastily sitting beside her and taking her in his arms). 
 It's a beastly shame, Anne. 
 
 Anne. It's just my little pride. All the things I told Kate 
 about you, and our love. Try to make them think we love 
 each other, just during dinner and this evening. Please ! 
 
 (Kate and Geo. appear in the door.) 
 
 Kate. Oh, oh, oh ! Look at these very young people, 
 Pa ! Aren't they silly? 
 Bill. Dinner ready, Pa ? 
 
 (Anne and Bill rise ; Bill keeps his arm about Anne.) 
 
 Geo. All ready. 
 
 Kate (going to Anne and Bill, putting her arms around 
 them both, squeezing them together and drawing them toward 
 the door). Oh ! You two old spooners ! We've been dream- 
 ing of this little dinner for ages and ages — with just us four ! 
 (Over her shoulder to Geo.) Oh, Pa! Isn't it jolly? 
 They're going to sit in their own places at our table. Anne 
 and Bill at last ! 
 
 Geo. It's bully, old lady. 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
New Plays for Female Characters 
 
 LUCIA'S LOVER 
 
 A Farce in Three Acts 
 By Bertha Currier Porter 
 Eight females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays an 
 hour and a half. A bright and graceful piece, light in character, but sym- 
 pathetic and amusing. Six contrasted types of girls at boarding-school are 
 shown in a novel story. Lots of fun, but very refined. Easy to produce 
 ind can be strongly recommended. 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 A GIRL IN A THOUSAND 
 
 A Comedy in Four Acts 
 By Evelyn Gray Whiting 
 Fourteen females. Costumes, modern ; scenes, three interiors and an 
 exterior. Plays a full evening. Very strong and sympathetic and of 
 varied interest. Irish comedy; strong "witch" character; two very 
 lively " kids"; all the parts good. Effective, easy to produce, and can 
 be strongly recommended to young people as thoroughly wholesome in 
 tone as well as amusing. 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 A VIRGINIA HEROINE 
 
 A Comedy in Three Acts 
 By Susie G. McGlone 
 Eleven female characters. Scenery, easy ; costumes, modern. Plays 
 one hour and forty-five minutes. Irish and negro comedy parts, and two 
 character parts ; most of the characters young. A very easy and inter- 
 esting play for girls, well suited for school performance. Romantic it 
 Jerest with lots of comedy. 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 HOW THE STORY GREW 
 
 An Entertainment for Women's Clubs, in One Act 
 
 By O. W. G/eason 
 Eight female characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, unimportant; 
 may be given on a platform without any. Plays forty-five minutes. A 
 veiy easy and amusing little piece, full of human nature and hitting off a 
 well-known peculiarity of almost any community. Written for middle- 
 aged women, and a sure hit with the audience. 
 Price, IJ cents 
 
 Sent, post-paid, on receipt of price, by 
 
 BAKER, 5 Hamilton Place. Boston, Mass. 
 
New Plays 
 
 PLAIN PEOPLE 
 
 A Comedy Drama in Four Acts 
 By Dana J. Stevens 
 Five males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
 Plays a full evening. A strong and human piece full of humorous char- 
 acter drawing and sympathetic interest. The cast is very even in oppor- 
 tunity, and all the parts are good. A great play for a good club, and z 
 sure winner. Strongly recommended. Free for amateur performance. 
 Price, 25 ce?its 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 Ezra Bromley, storekeeper. 
 Almira Bromley, housewife. 
 Martin Jasper Bromley, college man, 
 Liza Liz Hankins, brat. 
 Judge Jotham Marley, Christian. 
 Melissy VV atkins, elderly maiden. 
 Jonas ]arrock, farmer. 
 Belindy Jarrock, seamstress. 
 Hiram Curtis Peck, seller. 
 April Blossom, help. 
 
 SYNOPSIS 
 
 Act I. — Sitting-room behind Ezra Bromley's store. Morning. 
 
 Act II. — The same. Some days later. 
 
 Act III. — At the Jarrocks'. Some weeks later. 
 
 Act IV. — At the Bromley s'. Later in the evening. 
 
 FOOLING FATHER 
 
 A Comedy in One Act 
 By R. M. Robinson 
 Three males. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays thirty 
 minutes. A clever little play easily done and very effective. The boys 
 arrange a little burglary just to show the old gentleman what heroes they 
 are, but somehow things do not turn out right for the hero part. Can be 
 recommended. Price, /J cents 
 
 AT THE JUNCTION 
 
 A Farce in One Act 
 
 By Charles S. Bird. 
 Three males, two females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior. 
 Plays thirty minutes. A bright and vivacious little farce for two young 
 couples and a comic station agent, very easy and effective. All the parts 
 are first rate, and that of the station agent is a corker. Can be strou^h 
 recommended. Price t 15 cents 
 
New Plays 
 
 THE REBELLION OF MRS. BARCLAY 
 
 A Comedy of Domestic Life 
 
 In Two Acts 
 
 By May E. Countryman 
 
 Three male, six female characters. Costumes modern ; scenery, easy 
 interiors. Plays one hour and three quarters. A clever and amusing 
 comedy with a very popular cast; all the parts evenly good. There are 
 many Mr. Barclays making their homes more or less uncomfortable all 
 over this country, and Mrs, Barclay's method of curing her particular one 
 will be sympathetically received. Good Irish comedy parts, male and fe- 
 male. Strongly recommended. 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Morton Barclay. Mrs. Brown, Morton s sister. 
 
 Roger Stuart, a neighbor. Cora, her daughter. 
 
 Dennis O' Hara. Elsie Stuart, Roger s sister. 
 
 Ethel Barclay, Morton s wife. Mary Ann O'Connor. 
 Ruth Carter, Ethel ' s sister. 
 
 PA'S NEW HOUSEKEEPER 
 
 A Farce in One Act 
 
 By Charles S. Bird 
 Three male, two female characters. Modern costumes ; scenery, a 
 simple interior or none at all. Plays forty minutes. A roaring farce of 
 the "Charley's Aunt" order, admirably suited for high-school perform- 
 ance. Jack Brown, visiting his chum, is tempted by his success in college 
 theatricals to make up in the character of the new housekeeper, an at- 
 tractive widow, who is expected but does not arrive. He takes in every- 
 body and mixes things up generally. All the parts are first rate and the 
 piece full of laughs and action. Strongly recommended. 
 Price, 1 j cents 
 
 A PRODIGAL SON 
 
 A Comedy in One Act 
 
 By Rayjnond M. Robinso?i 
 
 Two male, three female characters. Costumes modern ; scenery, an 
 easy interior. Plays half an hour. A very original and amusing bit of 
 fooling, easy to do and sure to please. The leading character is a tramp 
 and full of opportunity. Well recommended. 
 Price, 75 cents 
 
New Farces 
 
 THE ELOPEMENT OF ELLEN 
 A Farce Comedy in Three Acts 
 
 By Marie J. Warren 
 
 Four males, three females. Costumes modern ; scenery, one interior and} 
 
 ane exterior. Plays an hour and a half. A bright and ingenious little 
 
 play, admirably suited for amateur acting. Written for and originally 
 
 produced by Wellesley College girls. Strongly recommended. 
 
 Price, 2$ cents 
 
 TOMMY'S WIFE 
 
 A Farce in Three Acts 
 
 By Marie J. Warren 
 
 Three males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
 Plays an hour and a half. Originally produced by students of Wellesley 
 College. A very original and entertaining play, distinguished by abun- 
 dant humor. An unusually clever piece, strongly recommended. 
 Price, 2$ cents 
 
 ALL CHARLEY'S FAULT 
 
 An Original Farce in Two Acts 
 By Anthony E. Witts 
 Six males, three females. Scenery, an easy interior ; costumes modern. 
 Plays two hours. A very lively and laughable piece, full of action and 
 admirably adapted for amateur performance. Dutch and Negro comedy 
 characters. Plays very rapidly with lots of incident and not a dull mo- 
 ment. Free for amateurs, but professional stage rights are reserved by 
 the author. Strongly recommended. 
 
 Price, *j cents 
 
 OUT OF TOWN 
 
 A Comedy in Three Acts 
 
 By Bell Elliot Palmer 
 1 hree males, five females. Scene, an interior, the same for all three 
 acts ; costumes modern. Plays an hour and a half. A clever and inter- 
 esting comedy, very easy to produce r.nd recommended for amateur per- 
 formance. Tone high and atmosphere refined. All the parts good. A 
 safe piece for a fastidious audience, as its theme and treatment are alike 
 bey«»id reproach. 
 
 Price? 2$ tentf 
 
New Plays 
 
 THE GOVERNMENT DETECTIVE 
 
 A Play in Four Acts 
 By Bernard Francis Moore 
 Author of "Belle the Typewriter Girt," "Brother Against 
 Brother" "The Moonshiner s Daughter," etc. 
 
 Eight males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four interior." 
 
 Plays two hours. A highly spiced melodrama suitable for performance 
 
 by young folks or by their elders who like plenty of excitement. Easy 
 
 and thrilling, like all the plays by this author. 
 
 Price, 2$ cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 Captain Wilbur Foster, a government detective: under the as' 
 
 sumed name of Paul Gray, a retired banker. 
 John Arnold, the captain of a secret band of criminals. 
 Martin Jackson, a wealthy young man. 
 Alexander Adams, warden of the Jefferson Prison. 
 Nick Morton, Foster s assistant. 
 James Armstrong, a retired capitalist. 
 Edwin Ray, his nephew. 
 Peter, a clerk at the prison. 
 
 Mrs. Laura Marston, a young widow and John s sister. 
 Clara Armstrong, James 1 daughter and heiress. 
 Effie Jackson, Martin s sister. 
 Mary, a servant. 
 
 A PECK OF TROUBLE 
 
 A Comedy in One Act 
 
 By Alice C. Thompson 
 
 Five females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays twenty 
 minutes. A capital little play for young girls in or out of school ; clean, 
 bright and easy to get up. 
 
 Price, IS cents 
 
 MUCH TOO SUDDEN 
 
 A Comedy in One Act 
 
 By Alice C. Thompson 
 
 Seven females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays thirty 
 minutes. Mrs. Alston is a fond mother who cannot see that her daughters 
 have grown up until they and all the rest of the world are aware of it. 
 Her awakening is very funny. Clean and bright. Recommended for 
 schools. 
 
 Price, IS cents 
 
New Plays 
 
 COUNTRY FOLKS 
 
 A Comedy-Drama in Three Acts 
 
 By Anthony E. Wills 
 
 Author of "Our Wives" "A Regiment of Two" 
 
 " Liberty Corners," etc. 
 
 Six males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior. 
 
 Plays two and a quarter hours. An effective and up-to-date play of 
 
 American country life well suited for amateur performance. All the parts 
 
 good and fairly even in point of opportunity ; the ladies' parts especially 
 
 io. Easy "Q stage, and well suited for school performance. Well recom- 
 
 irnsriaed. Price, 25 cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 Josiah Dean, an old farmer. 
 Martha Dean, his wife. 
 Nathaniel Dean, ) ,, . , ... 
 Polly Dean, j ^etr children. 
 
 Lorna Lane, a seamstress. 
 Ozias Schuyler, the postmaster. 
 Prudence Schuyler, his daughter, 
 Peter Patch, the chore boy. 
 Horatio Finch, a country lawyer, 
 Alvina Berry, a neighbor. 
 Jake Diemer, the village barber. 
 
 SYNOPSIS 
 Act I. — Home of Josiah Dean. Summer. 
 Act II. — The same. One year later. 
 Act III. — The same. A month later. 
 
 THE ROSE AND THE RING 
 
 Adapted from Thackeray* s Christmas Pantomime 
 
 By J. B. Greenough 
 
 Sixteen males, five females. Costumes, fantastic ; scenery, one interior, 
 
 two exteriors, all unimportant. Plays an hour and three-quarters. A 
 
 wonderfully ingenious and effective stage version of this charming classic ( 
 
 ideally suited for school performance. Strongly recommended. 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 COHEN'S DIVORCE 
 
 A Sketch in One Act 
 
 By G. M. Rosener 
 
 For two male characters, Hebrew and straight. Costumes, eccentric ; 
 
 any scenery will answer. Plays twenty minutes. Good character talk 
 
 and very funny business ; can be made very effective. 
 
 Price t ij cents 
 
Novelties 
 
 SCENES IN A RESTAURANT 
 
 An Entertainment in One Act 
 
 By Jessie A. Kelley 
 
 Author of 'Our Church Fair," " The Village Post-Office;" 
 
 "Miss Prims Kindergarten" etc. 
 
 Fifteen males, ten females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant 
 
 Plays one hour. A humorous presentation of what happens every day in 
 
 ■he average restaurant, hitting everybody right where they live. Sure to 
 
 be popular. All parts good ; lots of incident and chances for local hits. 
 
 Can be recommended. 
 
 Price, 2j cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Mrs. Smiley, an indulgent mother. 
 Maud, her daughter; a spoiled child. 
 
 Beggar. 
 
 JfcBSSK, I"— 
 
 Mr. Hall, a health crank. 
 James, his servant. 
 Mr. Monroe, a chronic kicker. 
 Hiram Greenback, from way back, 
 Mary Ann, his wife. 
 
 £ MSey \« g bt from Ireland. 
 
 Mr. Jones, bead waiter. 
 
 {™» | «.*«»«. 
 
 Mr. Rice, a mean man. 
 
 Mr. Foss, who has a plan, 
 
 Mrs. Brett. 
 
 Mrs. Dacey. 
 
 Mrs. Slack, deaf, middle-aged, and stout. 
 
 Miss Drew. 
 
 Mr. Rich 1 ■ ... 
 
 Mr. Jackson \ actorS - 
 
 Reuben Grass, from the country. 
 
 Mandy Clover, his best girl. 
 
 FUN IN A THEATRICAL OFFICE 
 
 A Vaudeville Entertainment 
 
 By Maravene Kennedy Thompson 
 
 Seven males, sixteen females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant 
 
 Plays a full evening. A complete vaudeville entertainment in itself or can 
 
 be used as the frame for other specialties; a " go-as you-pl ease " show, 
 
 very elastic and adaptable to all places and circumstances. A big hit in 
 
 its original performance. Strongly recommended. 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Luke Loud, a theatrical agent. 
 Bat, his office boy. 
 
 Clara Vere De Vere, his stenographer. 
 Orchestra Carr, bis pianist. 
 
 VAUDEVILLE ARTISTS 
 
 Gentlemen 
 
 Pietro De Bianaco. 
 George Washington Lincoln, 
 fan Getupangitski. 
 Reuben Haskins. 
 
 Ladies 
 
 Mrs. Susan Suffreno Riser. 
 
 Mrs. Trailing Arbutus Flower and *#» 
 
 thirteen children. 
 Miss Anise Elderbloom. 
 Frisky Dewdrop. 
 Fluffy Flutter. 
 Madame Sylva. 
 Mrs. Bridget Casey. 
 Mrs. Rulethe Roost. 
 Two ladies for sketch introduced. 
 Mme. Carmencita. 
 " Peach " Ott. 
 Ruby Ott. 
 Goldie ) 
 
 Birdie V the Coquette Sisters, 
 ^.ueenie \ 
 
New Plays 
 
 THE COMEDY OF ERRORS 
 
 A Comedy in Five Acts 
 
 By Willia?n Shakespeare 
 Arranged for School Performance 
 
 Thirteen male, three female characters. Costumes appropriate ; scenery 
 of no importance. Plays two hours. An arrangement of this well-known 
 play for schools, simplified so far as possible in its division into scenes, 
 and cut and rearranged for the use of male actors only, so far as this is 
 possible. The rollicking fun of this play has been too long disregarded, 
 and its great suitability for school performance by boys will be at once 
 seen. Some care will be called for in the matter of costuming it, but this 
 labor will be well repaid. 
 
 Price, i $ cents 
 
 FARO NELL 
 
 A Vaudeville Sketch in One Act 
 
 By Willis Steell 
 
 Six male, one female characters. Costumes, Mexican and frontier ; 
 scenery, a picturesque interior. Plays twenty minutes. A very effective 
 dramatic sketch with a star part for a woman. Has been used profession- 
 ally in vaudeville. Good character and strong situations ; can be strongly 
 recommended either for professional use in vaudeville or for private per- 
 formance. Professional acting rights reserved. 
 Price, ij cents 
 
 MOR'D ALICE 
 
 A Vaudeville Sketch in One Act 
 
 By Marioii Roger Fawcett 
 
 One male, two female characters. Costumes modern ; scene, an easy 
 interior. Plays fifteen minutes. A very slight but pretty and effective 
 mingling of pathos and humor for an eccentric soubrette. Can be recom 
 mended. 
 
 Price, ij cents 
 
 THE ALARM 
 
 A Vaudeville Sketch in One Act 
 
 By Marion Roger Fawcett 
 
 Two male characters who double two other parts. Costumes modern ; 
 
 scene, an easy interior. A very dramatic sketch for a man, with a situation 
 
 tf much power and pathos. Recommended. 
 
 Price, i j cents 
 
New Plays 
 
 THE COLONEL'S MAID 
 
 A Comedy in Three Acts 
 
 By C. Leona Dalrymple 
 
 Author of "The Time of His Life," "The Land of Night;' etc. 
 
 Six males, three females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
 Plays a full evening. An exceptionally bright and amusing comedy, full 
 of action ; all the parts good. Capital Chinese low comedy part; two 
 first-class old men. This is a very exceptional piece and can be strongly 
 recommended. Price, 25 cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Colonel Robert Rudd, a widower of ) 
 
 North Carolina \ . „ . ... 
 
 Colonel Richard Byrd, a widower) mortally antagonistic. 
 
 of South Carolina j 
 
 Bob Rudd \ no * so ania S onzsizc as ^ iezr respective fathers. 
 
 Mrs. J. John Carroll, a widow, and Colonel Rudd's sister- 
 
 in-law. 
 Julia Carroll, her daughter. 
 
 Ned Graydon, a young gentle?na?i of exceedingly faulty memory. 
 Mr, James Baskom, Colonel Rudd' s lawyer. 
 Ching-ah-ling, the Chinese cook, a bit impertment but by far th& 
 most important individual in the cast. 
 SYNOPSIS 
 Act I.— Early morning in the kitchen of the Rudd bacheloi 
 establishment. 
 
 Act II. — The Rudd library, five days later. 
 Act III. — The same. Evening of the same day. 
 
 BREAKING THE ENGAGEMENT 
 
 A Farce in One Act 
 
 By W. C. Parker 
 
 Two males, one female. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays 
 
 twenty minutes A quick playing little piece suitable for vaudeville use. 
 
 Very bright and snappy and strongly recommended. 
 
 Price ; 15 cents 
 
 A PAPER MATCH 
 
 A Farce in One Act 
 By E. W. Burt, M. D. 
 
 Two males, two females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays 
 thirty f^ve minutes. Four rustic characters, all good. The heroine ad- 
 vertises for a husband and gets her aunt's old beau to their mutual horror 
 Very funny, easy and effective, Price t ij cents 
 
New Publications 
 
 THE PROSPECTOR 
 
 A Comedy in Three Acts 
 
 By Willis Steell 
 
 Six male, two female characters. Costumes modern; scenery, two in 
 tenors. Plays two hours. A compact little comedy of American business 
 life of the popular type. Its small cast naturally gives good opportunity 
 to all its few characters, its story is sympathetic, its action brisk, its dia- 
 logue good, and its character-drawing effective. Strongly recommended 
 to such as are in want of a short cast and easy production. Professional 
 stage-rights reserved. Royalty for amateur performance ten dollars 
 ($ 10.00) for each performance. 
 
 Price, jo cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Tom Preston, the prospector. 
 
 Walter Shede [pronounced Sha-dy). 
 
 Robert Emmett McGowan. 
 
 Charlton, of the Charlton Construction Co. 
 
 Dr. Manning. 
 
 Mr. Jenks, an agent. 
 
 Felicia Kelso. 
 
 Kate Carew. 
 
 THE GRAND DICKENS COSMORAMA 
 
 Comprising several unique entertainments capable ot 
 
 being used separately or in combination, 
 
 for school, home or hall 
 
 By George B. Bartlett 
 
 Strongly recommended as a Dickens entertainment for its variety of 
 material and comprehensiveness. Its- elasticity in the matter of scale fits 
 it for the use of either large or small occasions. 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 COBWEBS 
 
 A Juvenile Operetta in Three Acts 
 
 By Elizabeth P. Goodrich 
 Two male, four female characters. Scenery, all interiors, but of small 
 importance ; costumes to suggest insects, but easily arranged. Plays an 
 hour and a half. A very pretty little operetta for children, easily gotten 
 up. The music is original and is published complete with the text in one 
 volume. Can be recommended. 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
JL 01* Pinero's Plays 
 
 Price, 50 £e:ite each 
 
 Wlin fH ANNFI Pla y in Four Acts - Six males, five females. 
 itjuis V£irLiiiiLiLi Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
 Plays two and a half hours. 
 
 THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH 23T Sfflfj 
 
 males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
 Plays a full evening. 
 
 THF PROFIIHATF Kay in Four Acts. Seven males, five 
 1 111* 1 IXXJl Lil\J/l 1 L# females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
 elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 
 
 THE SCHOOLMISTRESS SSr&ttS 
 
 em; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 
 
 THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY §& ,n 1 2K, A & 
 
 females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
 full evening. 
 
 QWFFT I AVFNTO7R Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, 
 OWE.E.1 LLrlVCJIlSCR four females. Scene, a single interior, 
 costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 
 
 THF Tf-ITTNTOTORAI T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
 HIE. inullLIE.lVDUL.1 nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
 ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 
 
 THF TIMF^J Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
 * ***-• * IlvItiiJ Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
 a full evening. 
 
 THF WFAffFR QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
 inc If r,MI\E,i\ 0£.A e ight females. Costumes, modern; 
 scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 
 
 A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE SSE££,£X£2: 
 
 Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 
 
 Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 
 
 Salter & ^afeer & Companp 
 
 No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 
 
IIiBiiiShii of congress 
 
 016 102 186 6 it 
 
 %ty William barren CUttton 
 of $lapg 
 
 ^rice, 15 €ent£ <£acfj 
 
 A^ Yflfl I I1TF IT Comedy m FiT © Acts. Thirteen males, four 
 A*J 1VU MliLr 11 females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
 ried. Plays a full evening. 
 
 f AMU I F r>rama in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
 VAillLLfLrL/ tunies, modern ; scenery, varied. Flays a full evening. 
 
 INfiOMAD pla y ,n Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
 lilU ViTlAiV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 
 
 MAW ^TIIABT Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
 U1AR\1 JIUAH1 males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
 period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 
 
 THE MERCHANT OF VENICE SffiftlSSKES: 8SSSI 
 
 picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 
 
 BIf HFT TFffT Pla y In Fiye Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Bcen- 
 I\IWllLrlyiL,U ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 
 evening. 
 
 THP PIVAI ^ Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
 llUi H1TA1«9 Scenery varied; costumes of the period. Plays a 
 toll evening. 
 
 SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER SSSUSSSL^i^SS^ 
 
 ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 
 
 TWELFTH NHfflT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL SrW-JE 
 
 three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
 full evening. 
 
 Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 
 
 Salter $, OBafier & Company 
 
 No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 
 
 6 J. PARKHILL A CO., PRINTSR8, BOSTON, U.S.A.